All language subtitles for Cest.comme.ca.que.je.taime.S01E09.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-ROCCaT_track4_[eng]

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Sometimes just a listening ear.

Yeah.

The other night,
my wife was at the store.

When she came home,
I had made a chicken.

She was happy!

Yeah, but when you kill a biker,

or three bikers,

won't the other bikers
be upset?

Surely it will bother them?

Are they, like, a gang?

I think the term "biker gang"

is pretty clear on that point.

Yeah...

Is the Kingpin allowed
to make alliances like that?

Why wouldn't he be allowed?

I don't know.
I don't think it's fair.

How many deaths
is it going to take?

This has to stop,
or else they're going to get shot!

Hey!

Guys, the point
is to stand guard,

not alert the neighborhood.

Sorry!
-Sorry!

I'm going to go.

You'll tell the girls
not to say anything?

The problem isn't the girls.
It's the clients.

No one's going to want to come

if five people die every night.

Daniel, I'm not going over this again.

In a den of iniquity,

these things can happen, okay?

Good luck with your wife.

I don't want to stick my nose in,

but I really think she needs you
to take better care of her.

Yeah. A listening ear, you said?

It never hurts.

Thanks!

Micheline says there's Valium
on the bathroom counter for everyone.

She says to take two.

Has Huguette said anything?

Is your son named Martin?

Yes.

She's talked a lot about him.
I didn't understand everything.

Do you think I should try again?

She doesn't want to talk to you.

I don't want to pry,

but would you say
you're a good husband?

No. No, I wouldn't.

That's what I thought.

Lucien wants us to sleep here
for safety.

Would you mind
if I slept with Huguette?

I'm the only person
she wants to talk to.

No problem.

Just no...

No what?

No lesbianism, please.

But I'm not worried,
since you're with Serge now.

I even added a little bonus.

What's your name?

Bertrand Boivin,

from the Pointe-Ste-Foy
Chamber of Commerce.

Will it stop soon?

The murders?

Bert, I'd like you to leave.

No. Go away.

I'm happy for you.

We're all going to share it.

No. Marie-Jos�e.

It's strange.

For the last year,
I've been pushing you away.

But catching you with another girl
really hurt me.

I'll talk to Michel.

I'd like to deal with
the separation papers this week.

We have to start thinking
about how we'll tell the kids.

...22, the Official Language Act.

This statement from the head
of the Quebec government

received an immediate response
from the leader of the opposition.

Should we go wake her up?

I'd let her sleep.

She was talking about Martin
in her sleep.

In culture,

the Superfrancofete will play host

to a performance of
I Saw the Wolf, the Fox and the Lion,

which will take place
on the Plains of Abraham.

It will feature 300...

If I could just make
a comment about hygiene:

given that there are
a lot of us here,

it's important to close
the bathroom door after you go.

Why are you looking at us?

Guys, it doesn't smell good.

It's true. It doesn't.

What, because we're fat,
we smell like shit?

I didn't even go
to the bathroom.

Shh!

...Hamel, at the Demoiselle
cabaret-motel-restaurant.

Five dead...

...criminals settling scores...

No, no!

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

I think I fell asleep.

Fuck!

I shouldn't have taken
that Valium.

And the sound of the filter
put me to sleep, too.

I'm sorry, okay?

Well, you didn't do this!

Of course not!

It would've taken
a hell of a shitter!

Don't take this bad, Serge,

but no matter how many
backwashes you do,

I'm never swimming here again.

I heard motorcycles in the night.
-Me, too.

I thought I was dreaming,
but so did I.

The bikers shit in my pool!

This is a declaration of war!

They're barbarians!

The five dead at the motel

might have been
the real declaration of war.

How did they know where I live?

You gave your address
to every business in town.

How did you not notice

bikers arriving on motorcycles
and shitting in the pool?

There must have been 20 of them.

Let's say two turds per biker.

It's tough.
There are some half turds.

Mr. Paquette, I think there's some
in the filter.

Dammit!

Here. Put them in this.

Oh, hello!

Serge says we need garbage bags.

Double bagged.

Where'd you find that?

Under the table.

This is a mic
connected to a radio transmitter.

You've been bugged.

Hey! You've been bugged!

You're bugged!

Huguette, are you all right?

Are you okay?

Where'd you find that?

Under the table.
You're under electronic surveillance.

What is electronic surveillance?

The pigs are listening to you!

What pigs?
-The police!

They're not listening anymore.

Assuming that's the only one.

But usually, they put several in.

Shit! Nothing's going right!

But you look good, Huguette.
Sweetheart.

Is it just me, or has she lost
the eye of the tiger?

We haven't said anything bad
this morning.

We just said their poop smelled bad.

Did we mention Huguette's murders?

Shut up, dumbass!

This isn't the right time to stop.

No, Micheline! No!

We'd take some, too.

You keep your cocaine
in the crisper?

Shut up, everyone!

Anyway, thank you, Serge,

for the delicious breakfast
and the swim!

It was a lot of fun
to finally meet you.

You're such an idiot!

Do you realize that we had
our first team meeting here?

We said everything.

Yeah, and if we're bugged,

there's a good chance
you're bugged, too.

Oh, what the hell!

If we're all in jail,

who's going to get the kids
at camp?

Yeah, so,

Huguette couldn't come after all,
unfortunately.

She's not feeling well.

I was wondering:
are marriage counselling sessions

protected by
the Seal of the Confessional?

No.

Confession is confession.

Marriage counselling
is marriage counselling.

They're two very different things.

In fact, it's good
that you and I are alone.

It will allow us to be ourselves.

Ah, the great Liberace!

I thought this might interest you,

with his rings
and his eccentric side.

He's good. He plays well.
He has incredible manual dexterity.

Sure.

It's not easy to live with a secret.

Micheline and Serge
shared their secrets with me recently.

You have secrets too, Ga�tan.
So do I.

We all do.

Really?

People often ask me
what's under my cassock.

Sometimes I wear
pants and a dress shirt.

Sometimes I wear a T-shirt.

And sometimes, I'm naked.

Do you see what I'm getting at, Ga�tan?

I think maybe I should come back

another time with Huguette.

I'm sure you have
good manual dexterity as well.

I don't understand what you mean.

Unless you tell me
that you prefer wrestlers?

I kept my bathing suit on.

I'd like you to come and sleep
at the presbytery sometimes.

We could hold
each other's penis.

You can say no,
but if you say no,

your secret,
and Serge and Micheline's secret,

will find their way
into the parish newsletter.

I don't look like much,
but I have power.

I control a media outlet.

It's your choice:

media outlet or sexual outlet.

Can I think about it?

Yes, you can think about it,
if you want.

I'm going to go.

The next publication deadline
is in two days.

The ladies don't like it
when I bring them last-minute articles.

The duplicator is slow.

Thanks for the book!

Huguette?

What the hell are you doing here?

There was one under the table,

like at Mr. Paquette's house.

I get the feeling
the others are hidden.

He's good!
He has incredible manual dexterity.

What's the plan?

Well, Marie-Jos�e says

we can hide out
at her apartment,

but Mr. Paquette wants to
fix his filter first.

Are things serious
between Mr. Paquette and Marie-Jos�e?

I don't know.

Because...

I've always felt an attraction
from her

toward me,

but I wouldn't want to create
any animosity

between me and Mr. Paquette.

I wouldn't worry about that.

No? Okay.

Whether there are mics or not,

it doesn't change much for you.

I'm happy you're confiding
in Marie-Jos�e.

That's good.

Sometimes, it's easier to confide
in someone you don't know really well.

She's the boss now.

What do you mean?

I decided that she's the boss now.

Are you allowed to decide that?

Maybe we should have another vote?

I was the boss.

And I decided that she's the boss.

So, she's the boss.

I'm tired, Ga�tan.

Greatest Citizen of Sainte-Foy?

The Greatest Citizen of Sainte-Foy award.

Each year,
the Chamber of Commerce honors

great citizens of Sainte-Foy.

It's a prestigious ceremony.

We do it in the arena parking lot.

We can do it tomorrow,
if you like.

It's to shine a light on
your exceptional contribution

to the economic vitality
of Pointe-Ste-Foy.

Hello?

Hi. I heard about the turds.

You're obviously in danger!

According to my sources...

Well, according to Roxanne,
who dated a Popeye gang member

and knows their mythology,

one turd is a warning,

two turds mean injury,
three turds mean death,

and more than three turds
mean painful death,

the more turds there are,
the more painful it will be.

Do the math!

I agree with Ga�tan:
This alliance isn't fair!

Micheline, let's get out of here!

Hello?

Are you all right?
-Yes.

We accept. It'll be fun.

It's an honor!

Just to be clear:
I'm not from Sainte-Foy.

I grew up in Charlesbourg.
Is that a problem?

Lucien!

What are you doing?

I think I'm more of a weapons theorist,
after all.

I'm not doing this,
I'm totally not doing this!

The loot, Micheline!
Give me the Steinberg bags!

Being on top
always makes people jealous.

Give me that!

Go on, Huguette! Do it!

Eye of the tiger! Come on!

Huguette, look at me.
Look at me, okay?

We need you. You're the best.

This isn't the time
to lose confidence.

You've killed three Popeyes.
That's a good start.

Build on that.

Okay, Huguette, I'm going to say something
that might hurt you,

but this is what Ren�
would've wanted!

He was so proud of you!

His eyes sparkled
when he talked about you.

He'd be here encouraging you

if you hadn't killed him.

Are you okay?

They're gone.
I'll go check Ga�tan's house.

The Greatest Citizen of Sainte-Foy?
-Yes.

Why? What for?

Because they're scared.

All the businesspeople in town
are terrified of our methods.

I think they're trying
to appease us.

Here. This is on us
for a job well done.

Have one.

I went around the neighborhood.

One woman had already called
the police,

but I told her I'd kill her cat

if she didn't call them back
and cancel.

And my friend Poudrette went over.

He's going to sweep
and put up some plywood.

He said he'd do it up nice.

Great!

And is the pee all dry?

Yes, it's dry.

Great!

We forgot to write to
Fran�ois and Isabelle.

They wrote us
and we haven't even replied.

Is it too late to write them?

We're getting them on Saturday.
That's in three days.

We're on one hell of a trip!

I gave my bed to Huguette.

We'll have the meeting without her.

That'll allow me to explain
my restructuring plan,

given that I'm the boss now.

That was Huguette's decision,

since she's lost
the eye of the tiger.

Have you heard of
the Black Panthers?

I'd like us to wear berets, too.

I also have some reading for you.

"Mao Zedong, Little Red Book."

What is this?

It's the highest-selling book
in the world after the Bible.

What happened today
shows that we're disorganized.

We need a philosophy of action.

And I've given this some thought,
what would also be good,

would be to embrace a philosophy
of free love,

like in California.

That would lower tensions
among the group.

Free love? Come on!

That's not who we are!

We cheat on each other in secret,

but we're in favor of fidelity
in principle.

I thought you put your communism aside.

Just because we're sleeping together
doesn't mean I've lost my convictions.

I'm about to say something big:

I feel like things
are getting out of hand.

Why don't we stop everything?

Why don't we go back
to our old lives?

Are you serious?

You might disagree
because you're drug lords now,

but I'm getting fed up.

I'm not into it anymore.

I liked it when Huguette
had the eye of the tiger,

but I'm not having fun anymore.

And I'm worried about Huguette.

Are you crazy? We're on top!

Look at this loot!

The Greatest Citizen of Sainte-Foy award!

For a girl from Charlesbourg,
that's something.

Just so you know, Ga�tan,

I won't accept any dissent
in the ranks.

I feel like you're saying this
just because I'm the boss.

Your wife told me about your son
who you've never loved,

and you don't like it, right?
-That has nothing to do with it!

Well, don't think about plotting
behind my back

because I'm familiar
with Stalin's methods

and I would love to use them!

I can't sleep if you're screaming.

We're sorry, Huguette.

I'm not sleeping here tonight, it stinks.

I'm not comfortable.

I took the most expensive one.

I think it's an excellent idea.

I feel like everyone hates me.

I like you.

It suits you.

What are we going to do in the morning
when there are customers?

I don't know,

I haven't thought
that far ahead yet.

Who are you writing to?

It's private.

We could have a little party
to ease the tension.

No. I want to go to bed soon.

We had some fun,
when you think about it.

That's for sure.

And we wanted to tell you something.

Something important.

We wanted to say

that we had a lot of fun
with you in Montreal.

I had fun, too.

Great.

Is this him?

Yeah, that's him.

And do you recognize the other guy?

Seriously? He was at the house, too.

He was getting out of the shower.

All I can tell you

is the provincial police
are investigating them.

They asked for our cooperation,

then cut us off completely.

They said it's a sensitive matter.

I'm going to get some BBQ chicken.

You want some?

No thanks.

Forget the chicken.

There's a naked woman in Sillery
who can't get back in her house.

What?

Two dead.

One of them worked
for the government.

Some kind of big shot.

Roland?
Welcome to Quebec Provincial Police.

"When they're pressed together, I
eat like the cuckoo"

I can't give you the names of the two guys
who will do the job tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

Come on! Tell me!
Do it for Huguette.

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like the cuckoo."

What?

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like the cuckoo."

I don't understand
what that means.

I've said enough!
Get out of my car!

Get out of my car!

When was that recorded?

Today. Hot off the press.

That's a strange coincidence.

In college, I was the king

of riddles, charades
and other word games.

I think there are guys
named Coco and Puff

who are getting an eyeful
at the Midnight-Noon.

So, are we getting close?

Who's smarter:

the Sainte-Foy Police
or the provincial police?

I think we're getting very close.

Who's Coco and who's Puff?

Coco.

Puff.

We're not quite
an exact match, huh?

I think we have a right
to some poetic licence.

We have some questions
about your arson technique, boys.

We should say that we don't like
being told

that our names
sound like cereal.

Yeah, that's good.

And we drink a lot.

We have a good sense of humor.

And our girlfriends are gorgeous.

You think we have the budget
for that?

And they have a nice car, right?

For sure.

It's fast.
We got lucky with this one.

Could the clue be in the film?

What do you mean?

I don't know. Maybe there's a bird
in the film.

Not "pecks" again...

He's the government guy.

They're going to follow us.

They think we're going to set fire
to their houses.

We'll play along.

We'll bring duct tape
to the Kingpin's house

like the real guys would've done.

But the Kingpin will see
that we're not them.

We'll just tell him
that we're friends of Ren�'s.

We'll see what happens.

Coco, Puffs!

Coco, Puffs!

This is it!

You want another coat?

Seriously?
I don't want to overdo it.

I like that we're
in our wet underwear

and it doesn't bother us,
we just enjoy the freedom.

There's a part of me

that likes the character I'm playing
better than myself.

I like her a lot.

They're all nice.

Yeah, but the point
is to push them.

The more we push,
the deeper they'll get,

and the more evidence we'll have.

It's kind of unfair.
-It's true.

You're the one
who said it was unfair.

Yes, but we still have a job to do.

But I'm crazy about Micheline!

I've been in love
since the trip to Montreal.

With that velvet mouth,
how could you not be?

I'm crazy about her, too!

But how many deaths
is it going to take?

This has to stop, or else
they're going to get shot!

The point is to stand guard,

not alert the neighborhood.

Sorry!
-Sorry!

If I were the Black Panthers,
I'd be insulted.

I think anyone who wears a beret

must feel insulted.

Everything okay over here?

Absolutely.

I feel funny. It's hard to even out
the coke and the Valium.

It's a real paradox:

we're high and low
at the same time.

Guys, if there's anyone who deserves
the award for Greatest Citizens, it's you.

You were so brave yesterday.

You're really part of the family.

Thank you!

The announcement was just made
last night,

so there aren't many people,

but they mentioned it on the radio
this morning.

Don't forget the wine and cheese
in the arena after.

It's too bad Huguette isn't here.

This doesn't mean as much now.

Between you and me,
she'll always be the boss.

Everything still good, Ga�tan?

Of course.

They are true leaders,
and we should thank them

for everything they bring
to the community.

Unfortunately,
the mayor couldn't be here,

but he has authorized me
to give you...

the key to the city!

It is with great hesitation
and heartache

that we accept this honor.

The Pointe-Ste-Foy
Chamber of Commerce

remains, in our opinion,

a capitalist,
patriarchal organization

whose authority we do not recognize,
thank you.

Thanks, Bert!

Thank you to the mayor!

This has been quite a rise for us

over the last few weeks.

I'd also like to say:

you can attack my house,
my friends, even my honor.

I can take it.

But whoever attacks my pool

should fear for their life!

Thank you! Have a great day.

Well...

Personally,

this whole thing leaves
a bad taste in my mouth.

You can give me
the key to the city,

but it's no good
if I don't have the key

to the heart of the woman I love.

I'm not talking about Micheline.
I'm talking about Huguette.

Huguette, wherever you are,

we're with you.

Let's end on those wonderful words.

Don't forget the wine and cheese
in the arena after.

And if you'd like a picture,

just line up here,

and it will be our pleasure...

Thank you!

He told me to let you sleep.

I'd like to say,

even though there are bikers
surrounding the arena

who surely want to kill us,

I wouldn't trade places
with anyone.

And I think
that Marie-Jos�e's leadership

has been a breath of fresh air.

Thank you.

And I'm in favor
of the two-thirds principle.

What's the two-thirds principle?

From now on in our decision making,

women count for one
and men count for two thirds.

How's that?

Because the opposite has been true
for millennia.

Well, I refuse to count
for two thirds.

One third.
-Huh?

A quarter.
-Come on!

An eighth. The more you talk,
the lower it goes.

Where are Serge and Micheline?

Jesus, it's not even noon!

The wine gave us the urge.

It's as if our concerns
are melting away.

I don't know you anymore.
I don't know anyone anymore!

I tried to negotiate with them,

but they won't leave.

They said they have something
for you.

I'll keep the doors locked
for a while longer, but-

Give me your shirt.

What?

Give me your shirt!

Marie-Jos�e?

Come on!

What are you doing?

I'm waving the white flag.

I'm not having fun anymore.
Neither are you.

We were flying high,
but now we've crashed. Bertrand, open it!

You don't have the authority
to make this decision!

Come on, Bertrand!
Or we'll kill you!

There!

Come on!

Hey, guys!

White flag!

White flag, guys!

How can they be so dumb!

Run!

What the hell!

They've never heard about
the white flag?

Lucien, get your Uzi out!

I didn't bring it.

Popo, Cuff, get your guns out!

No one shits in my pool!

It's over. We're retiring!

Move!
-No.

Let's quit while we're on top.
Like they do in show business.

Give me a gun. Come on! Gun!

Serge, I think you've taken
too much cocaine.

Micheline, come on.
I think we're due.

That's what I was thinking.

No, don't touch that!

I want you to go back
to the way you were before!

I don't think we have
the same ideals!

I don't want to be boss anymore!

Hey, they're gone!
They're not there.

They left this by the door.

Why'd they do that?

Okay, gang...

We want to tell you something.

I don't know if this is the right time.
-Yeah.

This isn't easy to say.

And it will definitely anger you.

We're police officers.

Yeah.

Provincial.
-Yeah.

The... Provincial Police.

Our goal was to arrest you

when you hit rock bottom, and...

And we think that just happened.

Please get down on the ground.

Please...

Jewelry department?

Tell Huguette that we need her
at the arena right away!

Huh?

Dear Martin,
I'm writing this letter to you,

which I probably won't have time
to mail

before you get home from camp,

but that's all right.

I'm writing it for you,
but also for myself.

I wanted to tell you
that I admire you.

I admire you and I love you.

Lucien just called.

I was recently given a book
on the pianist Liberace.

It made me think of you.

I wanted to say

that if, one day, you decide
to become a homosexual,

I would be happy.

Would you like me
to buy you some rings?

I read that Liberace
likes them a lot,

but maybe I'm generalizing.

I don't know if all homosexuals
like rings.

If you become a homosexual
who doesn't like rings,

I'll still love you just as much.

I hope that as a homosexual,

you'll learn to love
better than I did.

And I'm not talking about
the Sultan of Tehran,

because I kept
my bathing suit on.

No, I'm talking about
my love for your mother.

I've learned something
during your time at camp.

Your mother has what we call
the eye of the tiger.

It's an expression that means
that she could have killed me,

but it's also an expression

that means that she'll always
love you and protect you.

I can't wait to see you.

We'll be there on time,

because I know that you cry
when we're late.

But if we get there
and you've been crying

even if we're not late,

I won't be mad.

See you Saturday!

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