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1
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:46,512
Santa
you know, you keep staring,
you better give her a tip.
2
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,248
This ain't no free peep show.
3
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,587
Santa
course you can take
a picture with Santa
4
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,557
just go tell mom it's
gonna cost twenty bucks.
5
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,329
Tara
welcome to Mr. beavers.
6
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,199
Shopper
idiot, watch where you're going.
7
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,668
Cashier
welcome to Mr. beavers
8
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,175
[door bell rings
welcome to Mr. beavers
9
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,349
what?
10
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,088
Pictures with
Santa's over there.
11
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,358
Dave
oh, no. I'm Dave.
12
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,431
I'm starting tonight.
13
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,400
Are you asking me or
are you telling me?
14
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,636
I'm supposed to meet Jack.
15
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,638
Try the vending machines.
16
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,508
Okay.
17
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,710
Is it...
18
00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,452
Female newscaster
ho, ho, hold your horse
gift givers. There's still time
19
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,322
to buy presents with many
retailers staying open late
20
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,625
on Christmas Eve to cash
in on last minute shoppers.
21
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:11,230
Male newscaster
speaking of cashing in, police
are looking for two men who
22
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,265
robbed an armored
car this afternoon.
23
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,335
Male newscaster
police say these men
are armed and dangerous.
24
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,371
Anyone with information on the
so called Santa hat bandits
25
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:22,407
is urged to contact the
crime stoppers hotline.
26
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,542
Jack
ahhhhhh!
27
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,284
Jack
ah! Ah!
28
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,323
Jack
what do you want?
29
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,592
Pictures with
Santa's out there.
30
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:43,195
Dave
uh no, umm,
I'm Dave.
31
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:50,235
I start work
here tonight.
32
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,372
Oh, hey,
Jack.
33
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,174
Sorry
buddy.
34
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:58,911
I get a little, little upset
when I don't get my fritter.
35
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,245
Dave
right.
36
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,481
And this machine...
Just like my ex.
37
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,417
Jack
took my money and
didn't give me no pie.
38
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,953
These things are gonna be
the death of me anyway.
39
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,288
You want something?
40
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,390
No I'm, I'm
good thank you.
41
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:14,193
You're good? They make
you start on Christmas Eve
42
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,461
because shit fucker Mitch
bails on us and you're good?
43
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,664
Well the bills have been
pilling up right. What can I do?
44
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,532
Tell them go fuck
themselves man.
45
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,401
That's what i
would have done.
46
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,736
Man fuck this place.
This place sucks.
47
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,941
Aren't you the
assistant manager?
48
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,609
Oh yeah
man, I am.
49
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,545
But I'm just here
for the money.
50
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,482
I come here every day,
every single day.
51
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,319
Ready to blow my
fucking brains out.
52
00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:44,723
I even got a special bullet
picked out just for the job.
53
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,625
Hollow point.
54
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,795
I'm just messin'
with you man.
55
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,238
Over here's Tara.
56
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,405
Yo' Tara...
57
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:01,807
Jack
Tara...
58
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,644
This is Dave.
The new guy.
59
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:13,252
in a near glorious moment
at this very register.
60
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,255
Don't be a bitch tera.
It's his first night.
61
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,457
Save it till we're
sure he's staying,
62
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,459
then do the queen
super bitch thing.
63
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:24,596
Whatever.
64
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,864
Dave
what are you reading.
65
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:29,735
Oh, it's really good.
It's called, um,
66
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:33,672
none of your fucking business
by leave me the fuck alone.
67
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,343
I stopped going to school
68
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:42,281
like after two years. I mean
i want to be an actress so what
69
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,484
good is like math and science
and Greek theater anyway?
70
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:50,289
And then I got diagnosed
with anxiety disorder so
71
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:54,393
I had to start taking
Xanax, like, a lot. And
72
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,394
that kept me from
going back to school.
73
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,398
Jack
she can't help it,
being a bitch and all.
74
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,566
She's got like some
chick disease in her 'wawa'
75
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,834
Jack
takes pills and shit.
76
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:06,738
Dave
I'm sorry did you say a
chick disease in her wawa?
77
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,707
What does that mean?
78
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,743
Totes don't know
bro, just what I heard.
79
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,346
Hmm.
I mean I fucked
her and I'm alright.
80
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,449
Oh, do you guys
have health insurance?
81
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,719
Because my script
kind of ran out and,
82
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:24,523
I would totally blow someone
for a Xanax right now.
83
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,330
Okay.
84
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:42,474
Jack
no. No, no, no. No cell
phones allowed in the store man.
85
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,809
Boss man will take that
from you lickity split
86
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:44,876
if he finds
you with it.
87
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:49,848
We had uh, an incident
here,not too long ago.
88
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,852
We call it the uh, "great
Mr. beavers iPhone fuck up"
89
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,555
basically it involved
somebody, won't name names,
90
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,424
takin' a shit in a
display toilet,
91
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:02,627
snap a cell phone picture.
Bamm! Instagram, Twitter,
92
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,530
hashtag Mr. beaver's
display toilet hell.
93
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:09,901
Anyway, corporate found out,
they yanked our cell phones.
94
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,840
I know right. What
right does that give them to
95
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,441
yank our cell phone privileges
96
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,876
fucking fascist man.
97
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,712
What no, no, no. Someone
actually took a shit,
98
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,714
in this display toilet.
99
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,384
Dude, yeah that happens
like three times a week.
100
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:30,622
No seriously, little kids,
the homeless, elderly people.
101
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,924
I've even dropped a
deuce in it before.
102
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,794
You take a shit in the store?
103
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,731
Not our toilets. I'm talkin'
like lowes, or home depot
104
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,135
no. No I was not fired
from home depot.
105
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,003
Okay, who told you that?
O'tooney? He's full of shit.
106
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:49,608
I left on my own volition to
pursue other opportunities.
107
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,713
Look I was falsely accused of
shitting in a display toilet.
108
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,949
That's it. I left on my own.
It had nothing to do with that.
109
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,522
Boss hired a rent-a-clause for
Christmas. Barbie was my idea.
110
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,626
Dave
she seems a little
under dressed for Christmas.
111
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,694
Jack
oh, yeah.
112
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,802
Santa
ho, ho, ho
113
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:21,706
now, why don't you
be a good girl...
I'd like to give her
a kiss on her camel toe.
114
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:22,941
Jack
you're hired.
115
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,177
Barbie
what really I got the job?
116
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,446
Oh my god I'm so excited.
117
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,748
When do I start?
I want to start right now.
118
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,650
Yaay... wait!
119
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:35,854
Do I get to keep my tips or do i
have to split them with Santa?
120
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:36,922
Jack
you can keep the tip.
121
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,228
Yo, black Jack.
122
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,796
Black Jack
what the fuck
do you want man?
123
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,598
Jack
this here's
Jackson Porter
124
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,533
we call him
black Jack because...
125
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,535
Obviously...
126
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,204
Can you believe this is
the assistant manager?
127
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:55,941
writing in your book? Some
of your wack black Jack raps?
128
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,076
Man fuck you
white bread.
129
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,946
I'll slit yo'
damn throat.
130
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,915
Whatever man yeah I'm good with
all that. That's no problem
131
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,952
cause I'm so big and strong, but
i ain't yo' house nigga though.
132
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:10,222
A'ight so don't be puttin me
on that heavy liftin and shit
133
00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,924
That's what I did at
the other fucking store
134
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,526
and I didn't come
here to do that shit.
135
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,695
No lackey work for me.
136
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,665
Get ya' own nigga for that
shit. You know what I'm sayin'?
137
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,801
Dave
so he's a writer?
138
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,605
Jack
what because of
his scribble pad? No.
139
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,673
He's writin'' his
ghetto ass gansta' life
140
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,242
prison logic in there.
141
00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,711
You don't know that he
could be working on a book
142
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,713
or some poetry.
143
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,981
And besides, if he
rips you like that,
144
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,249
why don't you
guys just fire him?
145
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,984
Because our
manager, Mr. kipper,
146
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,986
is the biggest
most pathetic pussy
147
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:44,089
in the entire history
of big pussies ever.
148
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,558
And he's terrified of
that black bastard.
149
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,827
In fact I'm pretty sure he's
terrified of all the coloreds.
150
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:52,931
Oh I uh, don't think we
refer to them as that anymore.
151
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,033
We do here.
152
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,535
Mr. kipper
we do here what?
153
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:01,907
Mr. kipper? Ha, ha, oh!
154
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,943
I was just tellin' the new guy
here what a tight ship you run.
155
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:08,780
Oh, well then
please. Keep talking.
156
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,286
Uh Dave, uh barns,
welcome aboard.
157
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:18,023
It's so good to have you
on my tight little ship.
158
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,993
Uh Jack, once you've
shown him around,
159
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,895
send him up to
the office alright.
160
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,164
There it is.
161
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:31,169
Oh my god dude,
how gay was that?
162
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,305
In, in what way?
163
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,740
I don't mean gay
like offensively gay.
164
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,842
I mean gay like he wants to
165
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,911
lick the perspiration
off your ass hole gay.
166
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,113
Oh. Uh, the real gay
way. Yeah no I got it.
167
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,251
Jack!
168
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,788
Otto
did you leave those fritter
wrappers by that paint can
169
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,656
that spilled all over the
filling cabinet? Yes or no boy.
170
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,692
Jack
uh no man, of course not.
171
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,027
My weaknesses?
172
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,929
What in the hell kind of
question is that?
173
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:01,032
Are you talkin about my
disability caused by some
174
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,969
fucking towel head who shot an
rpg up my ass during my fourth
175
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,805
combat mission killing no good
cock suckin' camel fuckin'
176
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,940
terrorist in Iraq while
you were in college
177
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,076
suckin' off your liberal
no good hippie professor
178
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,744
at your communist lovin' college
179
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:15,080
in upstate my daddy's a rich
prick bought me a Porsche
180
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,682
can't afford to pay his taxes
that would fund the fuckin'
181
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,851
veteran's hospital that
would fix my leg so I could
182
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,753
kick you in your
fuckin' teeth right now?
183
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,355
That disability?
184
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:28,026
Dave this is Otto, he's our
store... maintenance guy.
185
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,794
New soldier huh?
186
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,931
You look good son.
Fit, I like that.
187
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,634
I'm the tactical maintenance
team leader which means
188
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,637
I extract and destroy all the
shit these dickwads leave behind
189
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,772
every time they
traipse through my store.
190
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:41,906
What? What are
you laughing at boy?
191
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,842
That funny?
That funny to you?
192
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:45,977
You like dumpin' paint
toxins all over the place?
193
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,780
The same brain degenerating
paint toxins that bin ladin
194
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,849
dumped on my ass back in 2005
195
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,385
after I killed his herd of
goats he liked to fuck. Huh?
196
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:55,053
That's why I'm
blind in one eye boy.
197
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,856
Sorry... about the
blindness and all.
198
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,858
We got some important
orientation stuff to do,
199
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,092
so if you'll excuse us.
200
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,662
Oh do you?
Do you?
So we're just...
201
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,731
Well you make sure
this dumb fuck right here
202
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,967
that he knows the difference
between methyl butyl hexane
203
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,136
two and six because what I bet
your dumb ass doesn't know,
204
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,205
is it is easily confused
for dichlor ethane
205
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,809
which is what I used on Saddam
when I water boarded his ass.
206
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,913
Made his dick fall off.
Who's laughin now fucks?
207
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:27,052
Who's laughin now?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
208
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,754
I think that guy's got
a serious case of PTSD.
209
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:33,892
How bout you say thank you
soldier, god bless America?
210
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,828
And tell me when
i fuckin' start.
211
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:42,067
This is the hydraulic crane.
212
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:47,172
Do not tough the hydraulic crane
until you get certified. Ever.
213
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,741
Wow. This thing is awesome.
214
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,044
This thing is like a
deadly weapon around here.
215
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,247
Alright. I-
osha takes this
shit serious.
216
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,283
I take this
shit serious.
217
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,086
Okay, you touch this
without getting certified.
218
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,321
You get fired. Or killed.
219
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,724
Crushed to death before you
even know what happened.
220
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,861
I'm for real man.
Big time danger.
221
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,797
Dude lost an arm
first time I was here.
222
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:17,035
Kipper fuckin freaks out over
this thing 16 times a day.
223
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,903
Ah!
224
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,976
Dave
where are
we going?
225
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,911
Jack
up to see
the boss.
226
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:44,129
Hey, are you cool?
227
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,865
About the elevator?
228
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,833
No man are you cool cool
229
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,034
what do you mean?
230
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,269
Do you do weed?
231
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,205
I've done
some landscaping
232
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,974
no man pot.
233
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,077
You're gonna have to start
if you want to be cool here.
234
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,282
Jack
shhh!
Where are
you going?
235
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,785
Follow me.
Come on.
236
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:32,010
Old crawl space.
No body knows its up here.
237
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,182
Pharms, you up here?
238
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,362
Jack
this is Dave,
the new guy.
239
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,004
Dave
oh, no, I'm
good thank you.
240
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,841
Pharms
marijuana is the
only way to escape
241
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,343
the drudgery
of this place.
242
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,312
Plus this is some
real good sinsemilla.
243
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,580
What's this one?
244
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,248
Oh. Its a new
mix I'm working on.
245
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,918
I call it sour purple turbo.
246
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,286
Oh yeah.
Try it.
247
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,197
Keep it down,
he'll hear you.
248
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,298
Arms up.
Up in the air.
249
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,204
Pharms
it's, uh, tetrahydrocannabinol
and diacetylmorphine.
250
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,272
Basically
weed and heroin.
251
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,376
Pharms
party foul.
252
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,313
Sorry.
253
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,915
Don't apologize to me.
254
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,054
Pharms
bucky the beaver.
255
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,389
Our idol.
256
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,391
I liberated him from
the corporate office
257
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,426
on a peyote
induced vision quest.
258
00:14:56,362 --> 00:15:00,098
Now he resides here, watching
over and protecting us.
259
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,967
We do not offend bucky.
260
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,136
So any party foul
committed in his presence
261
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,905
must be apologized for.
262
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:07,906
Jack
alright.
263
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,107
And penance paid.
264
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:17,382
We offer to bucky so he may
forgive us our party fouls.
265
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,985
And shield us from
our misery and torment.
266
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:29,260
Dave
guys, if its so miserable
here, why don't you just quit?
267
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,995
I figure kipper's only
gonna' last so long
268
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,931
before he gets fired
for soliciting sex from
269
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,432
underaged boys online.
270
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,034
Then they'll make me manager.
271
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,170
He has sex with
underaged boys, here?
272
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,272
I don't know,
it's just a theory.
273
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,541
I keep watching that to catch a
predator show waitin to see him.
274
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,278
I get to experiment with
chemicals all day.
275
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,148
Do you have any idea, the
street value of this stuff?
276
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,385
Do you mean illegal federally
or more on a state level?
277
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,189
I would just need about thirty
days to you know study for it.
278
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:03,027
Mr. kipper
Jack will show you the ropes.
He's my second in command.
279
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,297
You'll see we have a strong
mutual respect for each other.
280
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,271
I run a good, solid crew here.
281
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,107
Otto, the two Jacks, terra.
282
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:20,745
She used to have a bit of a
substance abuse issue.
283
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:25,717
But, I'm happy to say, we
nipped that problem in the bud.
284
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:28,186
Now she's a model employee.
285
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,255
We're a team.
We help each other.
286
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,325
So I need you to
do somethin' for me.
287
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,428
Relax kiddo.
288
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,131
I just need to get your
measurements.
289
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,034
Let's start with your
shirt and penis size.
290
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:47,438
Uh, pants size. Sorry.
Damn auto correct.
291
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,008
So how big are you?
292
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,443
Pants. And shirt.
293
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:57,248
Oh, um, thirty four long.
Uh, medium shirt maybe.
294
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,084
Ah, Dave.
295
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:02,754
We need to look our
best around here.
296
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:06,457
So we need exact
specifications for our uniforms.
297
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,259
It's no big deal.
298
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:12,463
I'll just take your
measurements on your shoulder.
299
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,034
And let me know if I make you
feel uncomfortable in any way.
300
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,169
Dave
okay.
301
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,238
Mr. kipper
Dave, you're so tense.
302
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,307
It's, uh, first day jitters.
I'm a little nervous.
303
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,276
Mr. kipper
oh, no need for that.
304
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:29,113
Just think of me as
your friendly uncle.
305
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:33,384
So you're thirty four in slack.
No jeans? Because I can measure.
306
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,119
No, nope I'm
good I got it yeah.
307
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,354
Okay. Alright then.
308
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,488
Oh. Cell phone.
309
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,824
You'll need to check
that in with me.
310
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,325
Come on, whip it out.
311
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,094
Come on get that out. Come on.
312
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,363
Thank you.
313
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,132
Mr. kipper
there's nothing to worry about.
314
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:54,338
It's safe in here,
and no one can steal it.
315
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,240
See.
316
00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:00,111
Oh and no one's gonna
look through it for any
317
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,313
sexting pictures you
may have left on it. Huh?
318
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,416
I, uh...
Ha ha ha,
come on.
319
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,252
Mr. kipper
oh, uh I need you
to go downstairs and
320
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,288
move a tool
crib on aisle 12.
321
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,556
Get someone to help
you down there. Alight.
322
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:15,159
First assignment.
Go on... yeah.
323
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,613
Black Jack
damn I think the
wheels are stuck.
324
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,681
Dave
lift it.
325
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:41,319
Shit!
326
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,487
Fuckin' thing
is heavy.
327
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,521
It's the heaviest
thing I've ever lifted.
328
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,522
Fuck!
329
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,390
Mr. kipper
ummm... problem?
330
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:53,598
Kipper
this thing's-
is slippery.
331
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,234
Fuck it. Man I'll
tell you bout it later.
332
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:58,503
Okay?
333
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,208
Jack, assistance on aisle 12.
334
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,377
This is your ship's
captain speaking.
335
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,679
Mr. - ah, yeah.
336
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:09,747
Mr. kipper
you take that end.
337
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,217
Dave if you get on
bottom, I'll be on top.
338
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,730
Mr. kipper
oh. Ah. Alright somethin'
funny is goin' on here.
339
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,232
Maybe we should
open that darn thing up.
340
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:29,233
What's the matter?
341
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,670
We'll see?
Theft perhaps.
342
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,449
What?
343
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,322
Mr. kipper
do any of you
know this gentleman?
344
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:58,930
Sir, are you okay?
345
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:03,568
I think he's dead, Mr. kipper
346
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,270
Jack, could you please
gather everyone together
347
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,406
for an impromptu store
meeting. Thank you very much.
348
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,412
Your attention please.
349
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,747
All employees
report to aisle 12.
350
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,583
That's the flooring aisle...
351
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,651
The one with the dead body...
352
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,659
Jack
wonder what's in the bag.
353
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,760
Black Jack
don't touch it man.
354
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,462
Why not?
355
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:35,466
they need this place un-fucked
with. Don't touch it.
356
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,002
I can un-zip the bag enough that
it won't fuck it all up.
357
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,771
Okay smart ass. When the cops
get here, be sure and tell them
358
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,740
that I said not
to touch anything.
359
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,675
Black Jack
go ahead.
360
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344
Whatever. New guy, grab it.
361
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,678
Dave
what? I'm not
touchin' that thing.
362
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,248
Jack
why not he's dead.
He's not gonna grab you.
363
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:53,651
Fine.
364
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:56,520
Ah!
365
00:20:56,522 --> 00:21:00,324
Hey! You do not laugh
at assistant management.
366
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:01,392
Uh..
367
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,602
Jack
oh!
368
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,803
Merry Christmas.
369
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,472
Black Jack
oh shit.
370
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:15,773
Jack
Christmas
black Jack
no, no, no...
371
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,742
Put that shit back man.
Zip this bitch back up.
372
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,010
Put this shit back.
373
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,379
Hey man, put this shit
back and close this up.
374
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,014
Put it back. Put it back.
Put it back. Put it back.
375
00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:24,315
Put it back!
376
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,716
You see how
much is here?
377
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,285
Put this shit
back. Open it up.
378
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:31,722
laughin and shit like
it's Christmas time.
379
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,823
Jack
this is great.
380
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,825
Fuck. In what book?
This ain't good.
381
00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,429
Oh Jesus.
382
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,299
Otto
sit rep boys.
383
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,601
Dave
i don't know what aisle
they have the chairs in.
384
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,470
Otto
situation report asshole.
385
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,773
Oh lord Jesus.
Man down. Man down.
386
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,641
Man down. Medical,
medic on aisle 12.
387
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,777
Medic on aisle 12, medic,medic.
We need a medic over here.
388
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,045
Yeah we figured it
out Otto. He's dead.
389
00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:55,846
This man is dead when
i say he is dead son.
390
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,449
This man's dead.
391
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:01,752
Otto
who the fuck is he?
392
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:03,688
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
393
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:05,389
Well
where's kipper?
394
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:08,793
Black Jack
i tell you what. I'm
callin' the cops.
395
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,861
Jack
hey, hey, hey, not so fast
my chocolate faced friend.
396
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:12,396
Black Jack
hey, motherfucker.
397
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:13,731
You say one more thing to me man
398
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,067
you will not be opening
Christmas presents tomorrow.
399
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:17,802
Otto
Jackson, go
get Mr. kipper.
400
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,804
We need everyone
here right now.
401
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,872
We need to keep
this area centralized.
402
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,775
We need to keep it contained
and free of all contaminants.
403
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,111
Who's the stiff?
404
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:28,412
We don't know.
405
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:33,384
Okay well, goodnight
everyone. Merry Christmas.
406
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,419
Happy hanukkah.
Good kwanza.
407
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:39,757
Stay right here pharms.
You ain't goin' no where son.
408
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,959
It's nearly ten. I'm off.
409
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,830
Consider it hazardous duty pay.
410
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:46,897
Pfff.
411
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:54,438
Mr. kippler. Are you okay?
412
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,807
I'm fine. Drink?
413
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:59,477
No man. I don't think you
should be drinkin' right now.
414
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,445
The cops will be
here in a little bit.
415
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:02,913
I'm just a bit nervie.
416
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,784
But we need to get back down
stairs and get through this.
417
00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:11,555
Mr. kippler
alright.
418
00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:17,461
Black Jack
hey yo what the
fuck are you doin'?
419
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:18,763
Jack
what?
420
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:21,499
Black Jack
the fuck you mean what?
The money. I told you
421
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,901
Jack
do you know how much is here?
422
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,870
Black Jack
man I don't care how
much is there.
423
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,538
This ain't your shit to
mess with man. The fuck
424
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:30,841
Hey this ain't kumbayah
around here Dr. king.
425
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,743
This money's ours for hte takin'
426
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,446
you mean to tell me you
can't use some of this to
427
00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:36,547
get up out's the ghetto
428
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,482
or maybe buy momma's a house?
429
00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,518
Santa
i don't know that's
a lot of fuckin' money.
430
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,886
Hey, just shut the
fuck up Santa.
431
00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:43,621
Ain't nobody
even talkin' to you.
432
00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,856
Jack
hey I don't know what crawled
up your black ass Jack,
433
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:49,727
but hear me now man, the
money there for the takin'
434
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:50,728
man fuck you.
435
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,763
Oh am I Jamaican you mad?
436
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,666
This money buy a
lot of Spears in Africa.
437
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:56,734
Bitch!
438
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,438
Fuckin' retard.
439
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,773
Mr. kipper did you see that?
440
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:03,941
I think we all saw that.
441
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:07,178
So fuckin' fire him.
442
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,480
He punched me.
443
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:16,654
Oh come on. He punched me in the
face. I'm the assistant manager.
444
00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:19,790
The store's closed.
You're off duty.
445
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,459
You okay Jack?
446
00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:24,628
Here throw some glue on that.
Field dress it boy!
447
00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:26,831
I'm not okay.
448
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,200
Okay, I got
punched in the face.
449
00:24:29,202 --> 00:24:31,035
And you
didn't do shit.
450
00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:34,705
You'll be sorry.
You'll all be sorry.
451
00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:41,946
Hey look ya'll. Go ahead
and get all the crazy ideas
452
00:24:41,948 --> 00:24:44,248
and shit out ya' head right now.
453
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:47,585
This money belongs to this dead
dude, and we are not takin' it.
454
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:50,654
Otto
damn right. If the black guy
ain't stealin' it, nobody is.
455
00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:53,691
I understand if some of you are
uncomfortable with the situation
456
00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:56,994
so I'd like to offer you all the
option of just going home.
457
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,996
What the fuck. Sir
you don't run from war.
458
00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:02,233
Otto, it's Christmas Eve.
We'll be here all night.
459
00:25:02,235 --> 00:25:04,034
I'll deal with the
authorities myself.
460
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:07,004
Negative one-fairy-bravo.
We're stayin' right here.
461
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:09,006
Damn right we're stayin'
here. Look Mr. kipper,
462
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:13,644
we are all involved.
Everybody, we need to stay here.
463
00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,246
Pharms
i see you
eyein' the cash.
464
00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:16,814
Dave
no I wasn't.
465
00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:18,616
I'm not.
466
00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:23,621
Sir. The infidels
are already plotting.
467
00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,122
Pharms
you wanna
split the cash?
468
00:25:25,825 --> 00:25:30,628
I fuckin' hate all of you.
Fuckers.
469
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:34,965
The store is closed.
Oh no!
470
00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:36,667
You're off duty.
471
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:40,070
You're just gonna
get punched in the face.
472
00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:44,775
You're the assistant manager
but nobody fucking cares.
473
00:25:44,777 --> 00:25:46,777
Fuckin' hate you all.
474
00:25:57,756 --> 00:25:59,156
I may have
to take steps.
475
00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,927
I may have
to take steps.
476
00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:05,729
Black Jack
hey look, we need
to call the cops.
477
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,330
Says who?
478
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:07,598
Says me.
479
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,899
He can't use
that money now.
480
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,969
I have tuition to pay. We
can all split this up.
481
00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:15,773
No. No we can't because this
money doesn't belong to us.
482
00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,341
This money belongs
to uncle Sam.
483
00:26:17,343 --> 00:26:19,810
Umm, I agree. I think
we should split it.
484
00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:21,979
Look, I don't give a fuck how
much you need the money.
485
00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:23,981
It's not yours bitch!
486
00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:26,850
I say we vote.
487
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:29,053
Otto
ain't no election.
Ain't no damn vote.
488
00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,788
Santa
i second the
motion to vote.
489
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:32,323
We said no vote.
490
00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:34,325
All in favor of keeping
the money say aye.
491
00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:35,326
Aye.
492
00:26:35,328 --> 00:26:38,996
Otto
damn kids and
your occupy nonsense.
493
00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,632
Ain't no damn vote.
Ain't no damn election.
494
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:43,167
Ain't no damn
team decision.
495
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:48,372
Now hold up. All those
opposed say nay.
496
00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:49,807
Black Jack
nay.
Otto
nay.
497
00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:51,008
Nay.
498
00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:54,745
What?
499
00:26:54,747 --> 00:26:55,946
Tara
aye or nay?
500
00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:58,115
Mr. kipper
oh, nay, nay. Nay.
501
00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,817
Well there you
have it team stupid.
502
00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:02,753
Four to four.
It's a damn tie.
503
00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,154
Jack
i vote aye.
504
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:08,092
Dave
well that's definitely
the tie breaker.
505
00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:10,761
Mr. kipper
Jack. Where did you get that?
506
00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:13,163
Sporting goods.
Aisle 7. It's on sale.
507
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,366
Black Jack
what the fuck are
you doing dick head.
508
00:27:15,368 --> 00:27:16,867
I want an apology.
509
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:19,737
Jack, just put that down.
510
00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,838
Barbie
what is that?
511
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:21,839
Pharms
a cross bow.
512
00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:23,941
Yeah like Daryl
on walking dead.
513
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:27,111
Dave
black Jack why don't
you just apologize to him?
514
00:27:27,113 --> 00:27:29,980
Fuck that man. He
should apologize to me.
515
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:34,251
Pharms
Jack. Were you
just, you know, up?
516
00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:36,920
What? No. What d-?
517
00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:40,424
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
518
00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:43,160
What does he, what does
he mean. What do you mean?
519
00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:44,762
He's turbo charged.
520
00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:50,000
Mr. kipper
Jack. Are you on drugs?
521
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:50,934
You apologize.
522
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:52,936
Jack
yes!
Black Jack
no!
523
00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:54,004
Jack
yes.
524
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,206
Please.
525
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,976
I don't think you're
gonna do shit.
526
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,110
Shoot me bitch.
527
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,046
Black Jack
fuck it Jack. Shoot me.
528
00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:03,080
Shoot me Jack.
529
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,749
Jack
ahhhh!
530
00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:12,089
Jack
ah.
531
00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,924
Otto
ah!
532
00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:19,229
Oh! Gun shot sweet Jesus
somebody call Tim tebow.
533
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,165
Mr. kipper
medic! Man
down. Man down!
534
00:28:21,167 --> 00:28:22,900
Oh my god
I'm so sorry Otto.
535
00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,802
Do I fuckin'
look okay?
536
00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:25,803
Why don't
you pull it out.
537
00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:28,739
Leave it alone you
stupid son of a bitch.
538
00:28:28,741 --> 00:28:30,107
You leave a
puncture wound.
539
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:33,110
Well I didn't know that.
How would I know that.
540
00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:34,812
I don't-
I'm really
really sorry.
541
00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:37,114
Otto
oh you shut your fuckin'
mouth you crying little girl.
542
00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:43,220
Dave
shh.
Santa
ho, ho, ho.
543
00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:46,023
Merry fucking Christmas.
544
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:50,260
Now okay, I know this is
not the greatest timing but-
545
00:28:50,829 --> 00:28:52,463
here's how we're
gonna' do things.
546
00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:57,000
back off. Or you're gonna
go on Santa's naughty list.
547
00:28:58,103 --> 00:29:00,137
I will use this thing.
548
00:29:02,173 --> 00:29:03,273
Intentionally.
549
00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:08,245
Barbie baby.
Grab the money.
550
00:29:10,782 --> 00:29:13,016
Black Jack
hey what are you
doin' you drunk fuck.
551
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:16,186
Snata
ha, ha. I'm tired
of givin' presents.
552
00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:19,189
It's time for
Santa to get some.
553
00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:24,228
I, I wouldn't touch
that. It's a dye pack.
554
00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:26,797
Come, come,
let me see that.
555
00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:28,999
Thank you.
556
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,203
Warning. Contents
under extreme-
557
00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:34,972
Santa
woah!
558
00:29:34,974 --> 00:29:36,874
Tara
oh my god!
559
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:44,381
That is going to be one
messy workman's comp claim.
560
00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,785
Jack, get the pap-
561
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:50,788
Jack?
562
00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:56,894
Jack
ladies and gentleman. Thank you
for shopping at Mr. beavers.
563
00:29:56,896 --> 00:29:59,930
The store is now
closed for the evening.
564
00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:02,900
However, none of us are
leaving until we figure out what
565
00:30:02,902 --> 00:30:04,268
we're doing with all
this great money.
566
00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,537
Anybody thinks otherwise.
567
00:30:06,539 --> 00:30:08,972
I locked the store.
I set the alarms.
568
00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,874
And for your
further inconvenience.
569
00:30:10,876 --> 00:30:12,276
I cut the phone lines.
570
00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:14,278
I'm kind of a little
high right now.
571
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,981
And, I'm pretty sure I'm going
to be fired in the morning for,
572
00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:23,053
a, smoking pot in
the store, and uh, uh,
573
00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:26,023
2, shootin' Otto
with a crossbow.
574
00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:28,091
But uh, I've decided,
575
00:30:30,895 --> 00:30:33,330
I'm not leavin'
till I get that money.
576
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:37,901
Where are our phones Mr. kipper.
Are they still in your office?
577
00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:39,236
Oh there's a cell phone
578
00:30:39,238 --> 00:30:40,337
party goin' on right now in the
579
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:45,342
Now that my high is wearin'
off, I'm startin to realize that
580
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,578
whoever killed that
guy in the box probably
581
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,246
wants that money too.
582
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:53,250
And he'll probably
kill us all for it.
583
00:30:54,385 --> 00:30:56,386
And if one of us is the killer.
584
00:30:58,223 --> 00:30:59,990
I just locked us
in here with him.
585
00:31:02,927 --> 00:31:04,928
Folks.
586
00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:06,363
We have a situation here.
587
00:31:06,998 --> 00:31:07,898
Black Jack
well no shit.
588
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:08,899
Otto
he's loosin' it.
589
00:31:08,901 --> 00:31:10,000
Pharms
he's trippin' hard.
590
00:31:10,002 --> 00:31:11,068
It's you.
591
00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:14,104
You did it. You killed him.
592
00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:16,073
The fuck are you
talkin' about man?
593
00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:17,374
You didn't want
Mr. kipper to help
594
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,076
and then you pretended
it wasn't heavy.
595
00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:21,144
Come on man. It
wasn't even like that.
596
00:31:21,146 --> 00:31:22,379
You said it was slippery.
597
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:27,050
Look man. I didn't do t is shit.
598
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,119
I didn't even know this
mother fucker was in there.
599
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:32,422
I'm not shittin you. I
didn't kill this dude.
600
00:31:33,024 --> 00:31:34,625
I don't even
want the fuckin' money.
601
00:31:34,627 --> 00:31:36,894
But I can't let you
all take it either.
602
00:31:39,163 --> 00:31:39,997
Why not?
603
00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:44,635
If we take this money it
looks like we killed this man.
604
00:31:44,637 --> 00:31:46,370
Black Jack
and that's what the
cops are gonnna' think.
605
00:31:46,372 --> 00:31:48,205
I want no part to that shit.
606
00:31:48,207 --> 00:31:51,975
you suspected a possible
employee theft Jackson.
607
00:31:51,977 --> 00:31:55,412
Black Jack
Mr. kippler. Shut the fuck
up. I didn't kill this man.
608
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,180
Now that's the end of that shit.
609
00:31:57,649 --> 00:31:59,249
Jackson, you're fired.
610
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,984
Oh you got balls now?
611
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:05,255
You have a violent
disposition. A quick temper.
612
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,991
And of course you're
black. The odds point to you.
613
00:32:07,993 --> 00:32:09,259
Shit the odds point to you.
614
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,261
The dope dealer holdin'
a dangerous weapon
615
00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:12,396
pointin' at people and shit.
616
00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:14,197
Two to one says you did it.
617
00:32:14,199 --> 00:32:16,400
I'd say you're more two to one
odds. I'm kind of three to one.
618
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,170
And I did not even
use this. Jack did.
619
00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:22,673
I'd put even odds on him.
620
00:32:22,675 --> 00:32:24,541
We can't forget
about the new guy,
621
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:29,246
I mean I'd say his squeaky
clean ass four to one odds.
622
00:32:29,248 --> 00:32:30,414
I think he did it.
623
00:32:31,215 --> 00:32:32,349
Long shot odds on kipper.
624
00:32:33,318 --> 00:32:34,451
Ten to one?
625
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:35,385
What about me?
626
00:32:37,356 --> 00:32:42,025
Dark horse. You're too fuckin
stupid to kill somebody.
627
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,994
And put 'em in a damn box.
628
00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:45,996
Hundred to one odds
says she did it.
629
00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:48,398
Fuck all of you.
A hundred to one.
630
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,733
Alright. Last chance guys.
631
00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:52,035
We could split up
this cash and disappear
632
00:32:52,037 --> 00:32:54,972
or this all can
go the hard way,
633
00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:58,275
black Jack
look man we can't do
it like that. We just can't.
634
00:32:58,277 --> 00:33:01,712
Otto
I'll do it. Damn store took my
health insurance last year.
635
00:33:01,714 --> 00:33:03,513
Fuckin' Obama care.
636
00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:07,317
Now. Do you know how much this
is gonna cost me. I men
637
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,020
where do I even fuckin
go for arrow removal?
638
00:33:10,022 --> 00:33:11,321
Black Jack
Otto, come on man.
639
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:13,156
Oh you mind your
business Mohamed.
640
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,458
The fuck did you just call me?
641
00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:16,026
I'm appalled.
642
00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:19,129
No you're a closet
homo. Are you in?
643
00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:21,131
Pharms you're fired.
644
00:33:21,133 --> 00:33:23,433
I don't
think so. I quit.
645
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,736
Tara
umm you should
let him fire you
646
00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:28,038
that way you can
collect unemployment.
647
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:33,443
Don't you all see. In this
man's death we have a new life.
648
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:35,145
All because of him.
649
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:38,482
Bitch shut the fuck up. You
screamed before we even saw him.
650
00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:43,353
Oh you know
what I'm talkin' about.
651
00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:46,323
I screamed because I saw a body.
652
00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:47,557
Before we did?
653
00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:50,560
Okay- I di-
654
00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:54,064
shut up. You did this.
I didn't kill this guy.
655
00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:56,033
I've never even seen
him before in my life.
656
00:33:57,502 --> 00:33:59,069
I'm stupid remember.
657
00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,371
Okay really. So where
were you coming from then?
658
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:05,342
where I was doing a line
of coke off the toilet lid okay.
659
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:08,645
Got anymore?
No.
660
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,281
Mr. kipper
Tara, you're fired.
661
00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:12,349
Uh!
662
00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:14,484
Someone help me find Jack.
663
00:34:14,486 --> 00:34:16,453
Pharms
i know where he is.
664
00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,665
We'll see, assholes.
665
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:30,567
We'll see.
666
00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:44,848
The drug lair.
667
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:48,418
Black Jack
see they got a secret room
668
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:49,553
where they're smokin' weed.
669
00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:52,122
Usin' store merchandise
to build bongs.
670
00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:54,324
Some of that breakin' bad
shit going on in here.
671
00:34:54,326 --> 00:34:57,461
What? No we don't.
672
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,363
We do.
673
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,866
Jack
I'm back!
674
00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:05,368
Jack. We got the loot.
We're splittin' the money.
675
00:35:05,370 --> 00:35:07,637
Black Jack
hey that shit is not
true. That ain't true.
676
00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,439
Who's ready to die.
677
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,643
Wait. Die? What
is in that thing?
678
00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:18,348
Mr. kipper you're really
close. Okay. I've got years
679
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,485
of hostility built up towards
you okay. So shut the fuck up.
680
00:35:22,587 --> 00:35:26,590
Pharms, you know that book we
got. "The anarchists cookbook"?
681
00:35:26,592 --> 00:35:31,461
You wouldn't believe what I made
in here. All from that book.
682
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,330
All from stuff
inside this store.
683
00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:37,501
Cause remember when we tried
that synthetic mescaline recipe
684
00:35:37,503 --> 00:35:39,236
we hallucinated
for like three days.
685
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:41,505
No, no, the front
part. The chemicals.
686
00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:44,641
Tara
you told me you lost
that book you asshole.
687
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:48,378
Jack, what did
you mix there?
688
00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,213
Oh, it's really cool.
689
00:35:50,215 --> 00:35:52,582
It's uh, hydrochloric acid.
690
00:35:56,621 --> 00:36:02,225
Tara
hey, Jack. It's cool.
We got the money.
691
00:36:02,227 --> 00:36:08,331
No Tara. It's not cool. It's
not cool.Nothing's cool.
692
00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:11,902
I think I'm having a...
A nervous breakdown.
693
00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:14,404
Of some kind....
694
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:18,642
Come on Jack. Relax. Remember.
695
00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:23,513
You're a sea man
on my tight little ship.
696
00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:27,651
Whenever we, are at sea,
all you can think about is me.
697
00:36:27,653 --> 00:36:30,453
Kipper. I think
it's gonna be you.
698
00:36:30,621 --> 00:36:33,557
Otto
Jack. You listen to me son.
699
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:38,728
Now you got to be very careful
with that acid that is a highly
700
00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:41,398
corrosive solvent.
That is what I used
701
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,732
to assassinate Kim jong il.
702
00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:44,734
I know, I know.
703
00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:50,407
All I needed was styrofoam,
and polyurethane, salt,
704
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:54,578
and orange juice. Tara, sorry
i drank your orange juice.
705
00:36:54,580 --> 00:36:57,547
Pharms
Jack, don't you
want the money?
706
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:58,715
Forget the money.
707
00:36:59,684 --> 00:37:01,551
I want revenge.
708
00:37:30,014 --> 00:37:31,548
Otto
son of a bitch!
709
00:37:31,550 --> 00:37:35,485
Dave
holy shit! Otto. Otto
buddy are you okay?
710
00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:38,321
No I ain't okay cock sucker.
You see the hole in my head.
711
00:37:38,323 --> 00:37:41,791
You can't clean that with a
little bit of toothpaste.
712
00:37:43,794 --> 00:37:47,397
I don't think I'm comin'
back from this one momma.
713
00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:51,735
Damn.
Shit.
714
00:37:51,737 --> 00:37:52,869
Where's the money?
715
00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:56,373
Someone took it.
716
00:37:56,707 --> 00:37:58,742
Fuck you lookin' at
me for? I didn't do it.
717
00:37:59,043 --> 00:38:00,310
It's gone?
718
00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:03,513
Who the fuck steals
on Christmas Eve?
719
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:06,616
Black Jack
yeah pharmy. Where
your Christmas spirit man?
720
00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:08,485
I'm Jewish!
721
00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:13,423
Dave
well someone shot
him. Who has a gun?
722
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:14,891
Kipper.
723
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,694
Mr. kipper?
724
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,397
Oh no!
What now?
725
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:22,465
My belly button
ring fell out.
726
00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:23,767
Black Jack
bitch are you
fuckin' for real?
727
00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,669
Barbie
it's too dark.
I can't find it.
728
00:38:27,605 --> 00:38:28,772
No! Don't!
729
00:38:32,510 --> 00:38:34,577
Black Jack
oh fuck!
730
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,316
Dave
how come nobody
listens to me?
731
00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:42,519
Black Jack
he look people. We gonna
have to stick together.
732
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:44,554
Shit is goin' real
bad right now and
733
00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:46,389
everybody is guilty of somethin'
734
00:38:46,391 --> 00:38:47,657
Dave
why should we stick with you?
735
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,359
I still think you
killed the first guy.
736
00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:52,329
Motherfucker I told you i
didn't kill that dude man!
737
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,430
Can you prove it?
738
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:55,465
You can't prove a negative.
739
00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:58,802
Black Dave damn it.
I'm a private investigator
740
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:02,472
Yeah, I was hired
by the corporation.
741
00:39:02,474 --> 00:39:03,773
I was told to come here and
742
00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:06,509
and watch everybody
for various reasons.
Ah, shit.
743
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,678
Black Jack
this place is considered
a black hole.
744
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,815
You know. Shit goes in
but nothin' comes out.
745
00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:14,384
'Cus everybody
here is stealin.
746
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:16,453
I mean everybody.
747
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:17,721
Tara
who else knows.
748
00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:22,692
Hell no. He's the
big fish in all this.
749
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,527
He's been embezzling for years.
750
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,364
That's why you wanted
to call the cops earlier.
751
00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:31,935
Look. I have a job to do.
Well fuck, least I had a job.
752
00:39:32,903 --> 00:39:35,538
So, you have a gun?
753
00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:39,843
Son. Pi's have
gun in movies.
754
00:39:39,845 --> 00:39:41,578
I don't own a fuckin' gun.
755
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,646
Mmhm. And why
should we believe you?
756
00:39:43,648 --> 00:39:44,948
Yeah. Why?
757
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:50,620
You know what.
Read it smart guy.
758
00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:59,629
Dave
December 6th, 8:30am,
pharms smokes the marijuana
759
00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,464
on the loading docks.
760
00:40:01,466 --> 00:40:02,699
Mother fucker just
read the thing.
761
00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:03,867
Man you got jokes and shit.
762
00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:05,535
I was just tryin' to
paint the picture.
763
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:07,137
Jeez I'm sorry.
Black Jack
ain't got time
for that shit.
764
00:40:07,139 --> 00:40:08,938
Dave
umm... December 6th, 8:30am
765
00:40:08,940 --> 00:40:11,608
pharms smokes marijuana
on the loading dock
766
00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:15,912
9:17 am Tara fails to ring up
merchandise at the checkout
767
00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:21,451
11:40 Mr. kipper pockets return
receipts for theft purposes.
768
00:40:21,453 --> 00:40:24,621
Yeah there's a bunch of stuff
that's written in here.
769
00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:26,890
Ya'll happy?
770
00:40:26,892 --> 00:40:31,761
I wouldn't say happy.
Satisfied, yeah.
771
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,497
Alright so uh, what
do we do now?
772
00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:35,999
We take the money.
773
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,903
Mr. kipper's little
ship is sinking fast.
774
00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:41,905
And I don't feel
like drowning.
775
00:40:41,907 --> 00:40:44,707
Yeah I never did
like the ending of Titanic.
776
00:40:46,510 --> 00:40:47,610
Alright.
777
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,980
Screw it. I'm in.
778
00:40:51,982 --> 00:40:53,650
Black Jack?
779
00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:57,954
Fuck it. Ya'll
know I can't swim.
780
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,823
I'm in.
Let's do it.
781
00:41:09,834 --> 00:41:11,935
Look guys, if we
take this money,
782
00:41:11,937 --> 00:41:14,904
we're all gonna have to
disappear like, forever.
783
00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,573
Tara
no problem here.
784
00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:18,541
Dave
yeah. I got nothin'
to stick around here for.
785
00:41:18,543 --> 00:41:21,211
Well damn am I the only
one not fed up with life?
786
00:41:21,213 --> 00:41:23,813
Shit you white people
are miserable man.
787
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,648
Get your ass in
therapy or somethin'
788
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,517
Tara
i tried it didn't work.
789
00:41:29,221 --> 00:41:30,553
Pharms
halt!
790
00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:32,689
Tara
hey, it's just us.
791
00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:35,625
Black Jack
man fuck you I ain't no narc.
792
00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:38,895
Pharms
i said stay down.
793
00:41:39,263 --> 00:41:40,530
Black Jack
man fuck you.
794
00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,966
Tara
what is going on up there?
795
00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:44,234
Pharms
just playin a little game.
796
00:41:44,236 --> 00:41:45,668
Dave
what kind of game?
797
00:41:46,704 --> 00:41:47,904
Pharms
kipper hunting.
798
00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:54,010
Dave
pharms, buddy, can I come
up there and talk to you?
799
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,578
Pharms
I'd prefer you didn't
800
00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:57,714
by the way, is Jack dead?
801
00:41:57,716 --> 00:41:58,982
Black Jack
i think so.
802
00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:00,049
Pharms
you think so?
803
00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:03,853
Black Jack
hey, I'm not a cop man.
804
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:09,559
black Jack
shut the fuck up. Ain't nobody
asked you no shit like that.
805
00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:15,965
One ten thousand. Two
ten thousand, three ten thousand
806
00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,537
pharms
I'm gonna get you kipper.
807
00:42:25,744 --> 00:42:30,313
Tara
hey shit head watch
it. What the fuck!
808
00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:32,749
Dave
pharms what's wrong with
you? You almost hit Tara.
809
00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:34,617
Oaky would you cut
this shit out?
810
00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,753
Black Jack
come on pharms. I knew
you was a fuck up,
811
00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:39,856
but I didn't know you was
shootin' bitches in the
faces and shit man.
812
00:42:39,858 --> 00:42:43,326
Pharms
you know what officer I wasn't
but then I saw all that money.
813
00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:45,295
It made me think about all the
things I could do with it.
814
00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:47,697
Tara
god that could buy
like a lot of pills
815
00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:49,632
Dave
come on. I don't
want to die pharms.
816
00:42:49,634 --> 00:42:51,701
Pharms, I get it. I'm broke too.
817
00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,303
We ain't makin no
money at this bitch.
818
00:42:53,305 --> 00:42:55,305
I want the money
too man. What's up?
819
00:42:55,307 --> 00:43:00,810
Too late deputy. You said nay.
I clearly remember it.
820
00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,612
Dave
pharms this would all be
a lot easier if we all
821
00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:06,716
How can I trust him. You've
been lyin to us the whole time.
822
00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:08,051
Black Jack
that's my job man.
823
00:43:08,053 --> 00:43:09,752
That's all I can
say about that.
824
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,755
Black Jack
neither is this.
Stealin', killin',
825
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,657
eatin' paint chips and shit.
826
00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:15,592
Who's killing?
827
00:43:22,033 --> 00:43:23,866
Please!
Come on!
828
00:43:23,868 --> 00:43:26,603
Okay. I'll be the
bigger man. Come on up.
829
00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:33,910
Hey!
830
00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:36,079
It's locked.
831
00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:39,849
Dave
Mr. kipper?
832
00:43:41,686 --> 00:43:42,685
Pharms
yeah. Hit it again.
833
00:43:42,687 --> 00:43:44,687
Tara
fucking yeah. Hit it again.
834
00:43:44,689 --> 00:43:47,156
Pharms
we're comin' in
kippers and bits.
835
00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:52,729
Dave
pharms, you okay?
836
00:43:52,731 --> 00:43:54,731
Pharms
i got shot.
837
00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:57,033
Dave
hang in there buddy.
Hang in there.
838
00:43:57,035 --> 00:43:59,736
Pharms
oh it hurts Dave.
I'm really scared.
839
00:43:59,738 --> 00:44:01,137
Dave
i know it's not
that bad alright.
840
00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:04,941
Tara
oh my god there's
so much fucking blood.
841
00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:05,942
Dave
just shut up!
842
00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:07,844
Oh buddy, don't
let me die.
843
00:44:07,846 --> 00:44:08,911
Dave
you're not gonna die pharms
844
00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:11,881
Dave will you shut up both of you.
What the f--
845
00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:15,652
Black Jack
whatever man, I don't have
time for this drawn out
846
00:44:15,654 --> 00:44:16,986
Oscar winning death scene.
847
00:44:23,961 --> 00:44:25,161
Black Jack
what's it sayin' pharmy?
848
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:29,732
Pharms
no... refills...
849
00:44:33,437 --> 00:44:34,737
Dave
he's dead.
850
00:44:34,739 --> 00:44:36,673
Oh my god.
Oh shit.
851
00:44:37,808 --> 00:44:40,743
My first day of work and
already another dead person.
852
00:44:42,713 --> 00:44:45,882
Okay, umm... how do they
do this in the movies?
853
00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:49,018
Dave
he's got these...
He's got those bug eyes.
854
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,119
Let me just...
855
00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:53,222
Dave
okay...
856
00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:55,091
Oh! What the fuck!
857
00:44:55,093 --> 00:44:56,459
Tara
uh-
858
00:44:56,461 --> 00:45:01,030
Dave
finally. Alright look.
We have to fuckin-
859
00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:02,031
pharms
don't die!
860
00:45:02,901 --> 00:45:04,067
Dave
what the fuck!
861
00:45:11,775 --> 00:45:13,943
Enough fucking around.
I am getting a crow bar.
862
00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:55,752
Otto
help me
cock sucker!
863
00:45:55,754 --> 00:45:56,819
Dave
ah!
864
00:45:56,821 --> 00:45:59,255
Dave
shit! Otto I'm sorry.
865
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,224
Otto
what you fuckin' stab me for?
866
00:46:01,226 --> 00:46:02,925
Dave
shit, Otto I'm sorry!
867
00:46:04,495 --> 00:46:05,495
Ah!
868
00:46:05,497 --> 00:46:07,764
Oh my god!
Are you okay?
869
00:46:07,965 --> 00:46:09,832
I- am- not- okay-
870
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:10,900
Dave
holy shit!
871
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:15,838
Dave
fuck.
872
00:46:26,016 --> 00:46:27,083
Dave
fuck!
873
00:46:36,260 --> 00:46:37,560
Jack
careful!
874
00:46:37,562 --> 00:46:38,995
Dave
shit!
875
00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:41,164
I thought you were killed.
876
00:46:41,166 --> 00:46:44,867
Jack
almost. What'd I miss?
877
00:46:44,869 --> 00:46:46,869
Pharms is dead.
878
00:46:46,871 --> 00:46:49,071
Ah. Overdose?
879
00:46:49,073 --> 00:46:51,207
Maybe some
lead poisoning.
880
00:46:51,942 --> 00:46:53,042
Barbie's dead too.
881
00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:55,578
Oh. That's a shame.
882
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,947
Yeah. It was pretty shocking.
883
00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:00,082
Mr. kipper has the money.
884
00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:05,188
Headin home man. It's been
a really rough first day.
885
00:47:05,190 --> 00:47:08,558
Plus I got to be back at
8:00 am to open up the store.
886
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,028
We got that breakfast with Santa
promotion thing going on.
887
00:47:12,030 --> 00:47:15,832
Oh. Santa's dead
too. By the way.
888
00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:19,068
Uh, will we be
renting a Santa clause
889
00:47:19,070 --> 00:47:21,170
because I'm not sure how that's
gonna work if he's not here and
890
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:23,873
the kids show up and all that
kind of stuff with the pictures.
891
00:47:23,875 --> 00:47:27,877
Well you know as
odds play out I figure uh,
892
00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:31,848
our chances of survival drop.
It's all becoming a pattern man
893
00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,983
you know uh people bein'
killed and that kind of stuff.
894
00:47:33,985 --> 00:47:36,185
And I'm under the impression
that only one of us is gonna
895
00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:38,254
make it out of here alive so, uh
896
00:47:38,256 --> 00:47:41,290
if we do, most likely
also we'll be in jail.
897
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,262
I'm just gonna slip out of
here if that's okay with you.
898
00:47:46,264 --> 00:47:47,897
Jack
not so fast.
899
00:47:47,899 --> 00:47:51,167
You see if you leave.
You trip the alarms.
900
00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:53,302
And if you trip the
alarms the cops come.
901
00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:56,072
And if the cops come,
they take us all to jail.
902
00:47:57,207 --> 00:47:59,075
And you can't go
interfering with everybody's
903
00:47:59,077 --> 00:48:01,344
god given rights to stay
and kill each other.
904
00:48:03,213 --> 00:48:05,248
You know you're
fucked up, right Jack.
905
00:48:05,250 --> 00:48:09,886
You almost killed Otto. You shot
him with a fuckin' cross bow.
906
00:48:09,888 --> 00:48:14,991
Yeah, I am totes embarrassed
by that whole thing. Is he mad
907
00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:16,425
he's fuckin' dead.
908
00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:18,961
Oh you didn't do
it. You didn't do it.
909
00:48:18,963 --> 00:48:20,229
Uh, somebody else did.
910
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,331
They shot him right
in the face with a gun.
911
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:24,967
I came around the corner though
912
00:48:24,969 --> 00:48:28,204
and I thought heard somethin'
uh call me a cock suckin'-
913
00:48:28,206 --> 00:48:29,338
Dave, you think about it.
914
00:48:29,340 --> 00:48:33,109
Your odds of being the one that
survives are pretty good.
915
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:36,112
You know with pharms out of the
way, who's your competition?
916
00:48:36,114 --> 00:48:41,484
Dave
well there's Mr. kipper.
He's the one who has a gun.
917
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:45,922
What about you?
918
00:48:45,924 --> 00:48:48,190
Me?
919
00:48:49,192 --> 00:48:51,294
I was never much of a
competitor in anything.
920
00:48:53,230 --> 00:48:56,999
Especially in school I was
always the last one picked.
921
00:48:57,001 --> 00:48:58,334
First one eliminated.
922
00:48:59,136 --> 00:49:01,070
Especially in duck duck goose.
923
00:49:03,006 --> 00:49:05,942
Besides, in this condition i
probably won't last very long.
924
00:49:07,244 --> 00:49:11,447
Either way, let's not tell the
rest of the group I'm alive.
925
00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:15,051
Let's mix it up a little bit.
926
00:49:15,986 --> 00:49:17,453
How do you know I won't?
927
00:49:18,422 --> 00:49:19,488
Oh...
928
00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:31,434
Jack
you bitch!
929
00:49:32,502 --> 00:49:35,204
Mr. kipper
Dave?
930
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:37,506
Dave...
931
00:49:39,443 --> 00:49:42,178
No sleeping
on the job.
932
00:49:42,180 --> 00:49:44,080
Dave
Mr. kipper?
933
00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:45,481
Mr. kipper
you took quite a pounding.
934
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:48,084
I had to do the heimlich
935
00:49:51,054 --> 00:49:52,521
finally got that measurement.
936
00:49:53,323 --> 00:49:55,057
Dave
what the fuck?
937
00:50:05,335 --> 00:50:07,403
Dave
holy shit!
938
00:50:13,044 --> 00:50:16,145
Dave
well since the guy from the
tool department is dead.
939
00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,380
I had to grab this myself.
940
00:50:18,448 --> 00:50:19,515
Where's Tara?
Tara
here.
941
00:50:20,517 --> 00:50:21,784
Dave
are you okay?
942
00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:26,088
What you think i
raped the girl or somethin?
943
00:50:26,090 --> 00:50:28,090
How bout I rape
your little pretty ass?
944
00:50:28,092 --> 00:50:31,093
You next. Get in line. Touch
your toes motherfucker.
945
00:50:31,095 --> 00:50:33,095
Relax. I didn't say
anything about rape alright.
946
00:50:33,097 --> 00:50:34,597
Black Jack
I'll relax when
we get this money.
947
00:50:34,599 --> 00:50:37,233
So what you gonnna do, stand
there lookin' the fuck stupid?
948
00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,035
Or you tryin' to
smash the door in?
949
00:50:39,771 --> 00:50:43,372
That wasn't a request.
Smash the fuckin' door in!
950
00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:46,575
Dave
he's not in here.
951
00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:48,177
Tara
what the fuck!
952
00:50:48,779 --> 00:50:50,179
Dave
he's in the ventilation.
953
00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:55,284
Black Jack
kipper. What you doin?
954
00:50:55,286 --> 00:51:00,389
You think you're
Bruce fuckin' Willis?
955
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,195
Mr. kipper
you're a sailer on
my tight little ship.
956
00:51:07,364 --> 00:51:08,464
He's got the money.
957
00:51:08,832 --> 00:51:10,099
We should
go after him.
958
00:51:10,101 --> 00:51:11,834
Uh, I'm not going in there.
959
00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:14,470
We need to find out
where this thing leads to.
960
00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:19,809
Is this where we find out one of
our coworkers has a secret past?
961
00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:23,612
Something like that.
Otto Daniels frink.
962
00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:25,181
The maintenance guy?
963
00:51:25,183 --> 00:51:26,849
What does it say?
964
00:51:26,851 --> 00:51:30,352
Why would you make a
good Mr. beavers employee?
965
00:51:30,354 --> 00:51:35,524
Honorable discharge, united
states naval intelligence.
966
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:39,095
Distinguished service.
Undercover operations.
967
00:51:39,097 --> 00:51:40,596
Freedom medal...
968
00:51:41,531 --> 00:51:43,632
Applying for sales associate.
969
00:51:43,634 --> 00:51:46,168
I just put down good with people
970
00:51:46,170 --> 00:51:47,837
I left mine blank.
971
00:51:47,839 --> 00:51:51,173
It means that he could be
involved with the dead body.
972
00:51:51,175 --> 00:51:52,508
I don't know like
a military thing.
973
00:51:52,510 --> 00:51:54,477
Hey, look!
974
00:51:54,479 --> 00:51:55,644
Let me see that.
975
00:51:58,182 --> 00:51:59,849
What does it say?
976
00:51:59,851 --> 00:52:02,118
He knew I was undercover.
977
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:03,686
How do you know that?
978
00:52:07,891 --> 00:52:10,659
Kipper, a methodical genius?
979
00:52:10,661 --> 00:52:13,395
Think about it for
a second guys.
980
00:52:13,397 --> 00:52:16,132
Alright, he kills Otto
first chance he gets.
981
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,535
Shoots him because he knows. He
knows that Otto is a threat.
982
00:52:20,904 --> 00:52:22,404
Let's go get this mother fucker.
983
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,358
Dave
hey I've been meaning
to ask you guys.
984
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,260
How come no body
else wears their uniforms.
985
00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:47,463
Tara
what? We don't
get uniforms here.
986
00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:50,533
Dave
Mr. kipper measured me for a
shirt and pair of pants,
987
00:52:50,535 --> 00:52:52,501
and he was very specific
on the measurements.
988
00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:53,569
Tara
look!
989
00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:56,338
Dave
the vent goes three ways.
990
00:52:58,441 --> 00:52:59,742
Black Jack
well let's split up.
991
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:01,577
Tara
uh, I don't think so.
992
00:53:02,245 --> 00:53:03,679
Dave
why not?
993
00:53:03,681 --> 00:53:05,781
Tara
well, what do i
do if I find him?
994
00:53:06,616 --> 00:53:07,650
Tara
he has a gun.
995
00:53:07,652 --> 00:53:11,253
Hope he doesn't shoot
you before we get there.
996
00:53:11,255 --> 00:53:12,388
Black Jack
wait here.
997
00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:13,389
Take this.
998
00:53:13,391 --> 00:53:17,626
Black Jack
and try not to blow it.
If you know what I mean.
999
00:53:58,335 --> 00:53:59,401
Otto
help me cock sucker!
1000
00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:01,737
Otto
oh! Fuck! Fuck!
1001
00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:02,805
Black Jack
Otto!
1002
00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:07,009
Black Jack
that's why you don't
scare black people man.
1003
00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:08,010
Hiya!
1004
00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:09,278
Otto
oh!
1005
00:54:11,581 --> 00:54:13,616
Otto
what the fuck I ever do
to you cock sucker?
1006
00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:20,556
Tara
shit!
1007
00:54:27,998 --> 00:54:30,699
Mr. kipper?
1008
00:54:33,737 --> 00:54:34,803
Tara
guys!
1009
00:54:37,375 --> 00:54:39,742
Black Jack
the money room.
And probably kipper.
1010
00:54:39,744 --> 00:54:40,676
Black Jack
wait I wouldn't do that!
1011
00:54:40,678 --> 00:54:42,411
Dave
owe! Shit!
1012
00:54:42,413 --> 00:54:44,046
Black Jack
now who ain't listening? Stupid!
1013
00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:46,615
Tara
well, uh, at least
he can't get out.
1014
00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:47,816
Black Jack
and we can't get in.
1015
00:54:48,518 --> 00:54:50,319
We have to go
through the vents.
1016
00:54:50,321 --> 00:54:51,687
Dave
i have an idea.
1017
00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:57,693
Tara
Mr. kipper?
1018
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:01,430
If you're in there.
You should just come out.
1019
00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:05,768
Please...
1020
00:55:05,770 --> 00:55:07,569
Tara
are you okay?
1021
00:55:07,571 --> 00:55:10,439
Tara
you look like you
just saw a ghost.
1022
00:55:11,442 --> 00:55:14,576
Black Jack
i ain't afraid of no goats.
1023
00:55:15,378 --> 00:55:19,581
Tara
ghost. I said ghost.
Uh. Never mind.
1024
00:55:23,787 --> 00:55:26,355
Black Jack
i see where you're goin
with that. I really like it.
1025
00:55:26,357 --> 00:55:28,791
Dave
we should go upstairs. He'll
come out and when he does,
1026
00:55:28,793 --> 00:55:30,326
it'll be up there.
1027
00:55:30,328 --> 00:55:33,462
Keep spraying with these foggers
till this cockroach comes out.
1028
00:55:41,604 --> 00:55:44,740
[ Mr. kipper coughing
and sputtering
1029
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,541
black Jack
we'll wait here. Surprise him.
1030
00:56:27,450 --> 00:56:29,685
Dave
hey, let me ask you somethin'.
1031
00:56:29,687 --> 00:56:31,620
You ever stab someone?
1032
00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,589
You ever stab someone
1033
00:56:36,726 --> 00:56:38,827
so what are you gonna'
do with all this money?
1034
00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:41,130
Shit! I'm going to
buy some rims,
1035
00:56:41,132 --> 00:56:43,432
pay down that
damn child support.
1036
00:56:43,434 --> 00:56:47,703
Fuck no! Racist mother fucker.
I ain't got no damn kids.
1037
00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:49,872
I don't even have a fuckin' car.
I ain't waistin' money on some
1038
00:56:49,874 --> 00:56:53,442
How am I racist? You're
the one that said it.
1039
00:56:53,444 --> 00:56:54,810
You was thinkin'
it mother fucker!
1040
00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:57,713
Shit! All you white
people are the same.
1041
00:56:59,616 --> 00:57:02,151
But I am worried
about somethin' though.
1042
00:57:02,153 --> 00:57:03,752
What's that?
1043
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:04,853
You.
1044
00:57:04,855 --> 00:57:06,622
Me?
1045
00:57:06,624 --> 00:57:08,791
You're the one
holdin' this all together.
1046
00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:09,958
You're the star here
1047
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,494
to you we're
just supportin' cast.
1048
00:57:12,496 --> 00:57:14,797
And you're the hero.
1049
00:57:14,799 --> 00:57:16,765
That's not true.
1050
00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:18,634
You barely even know my name.
1051
00:57:18,636 --> 00:57:20,169
No I know your name.
You're black Jack
1052
00:57:20,171 --> 00:57:22,571
my name is Jackson Porter bitch.
1053
00:57:22,573 --> 00:57:24,840
And why would you even want
to split the money with us?
1054
00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:26,775
Because we all had a deal.
1055
00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:28,477
Did we shake hands?
1056
00:57:28,479 --> 00:57:30,612
Did we sign a contract?
1057
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,981
Every time I turn around I'm
gettin' shafted by the company.
1058
00:57:32,983 --> 00:57:36,852
Undercover here. Miss my life
there. And for what?
1059
00:57:36,854 --> 00:57:39,588
Where's my reward?
At the end of the day
1060
00:57:39,590 --> 00:57:41,890
I'm just another brother
gettin' shafted by the man
1061
00:57:41,892 --> 00:57:43,725
but not anymore.
1062
00:57:44,661 --> 00:57:48,897
The way I see it.
It's every man for himself.
1063
00:58:01,244 --> 00:58:04,580
Dave
kipper!
1064
00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:21,830
Kipper
i know you're out there Dave.
1065
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:24,533
You almost shot me
just now Mr. kipper.
1066
00:58:24,535 --> 00:58:27,569
Yes. I know you moved though.
1067
00:58:27,571 --> 00:58:31,907
Mr. kipper
oh no sweat kiddo.
I'll aim better next time.
1068
00:58:34,777 --> 00:58:36,578
So where is everyone?
1069
00:58:36,580 --> 00:58:40,582
Black Jack's out
here. He's dead.
1070
00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:42,718
He is?
1071
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,286
Did I kill him?
1072
00:58:44,288 --> 00:58:45,854
Nope, that was me.
1073
00:58:45,856 --> 00:58:46,955
Mr. kipper
oh...
1074
00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:50,692
I see you found
out his secret identity.
1075
00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,061
And Tara?
1076
00:58:53,063 --> 00:58:55,831
She's down stairs.
Spraying the foggers.
1077
00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:58,600
I assumed it was her.
1078
00:58:58,602 --> 00:59:00,302
Actually that was my idea.
1079
00:59:00,304 --> 00:59:02,271
Mr. kipper
very good one.
It worked perfectly.
1080
00:59:02,273 --> 00:59:10,646
You wold have been a real
asset to my staff Dave.
1081
00:59:17,620 --> 00:59:18,887
Dave
what are you doing?
1082
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,757
if I could shoot
you through the wall.
1083
00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:23,659
Oh. Lucky me.
1084
00:59:23,661 --> 00:59:29,798
You know Dave. You should just
leave. I have the gun. You and
1085
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,668
the Scooby gang can't beat that
no matter how hard you try.
1086
00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:35,604
Why don't you just
split it with us?
1087
00:59:35,606 --> 00:59:37,839
Because when more than
one person is in on a secret,
1088
00:59:37,841 --> 00:59:39,074
the secret gets out.
1089
00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:41,944
You see one guy, one secret.
1090
00:59:41,946 --> 00:59:46,014
One guy, one druggie
bitch and one punk kid,
1091
00:59:46,016 --> 00:59:48,850
Mr. kipper
the secret gets blown.
1092
00:59:48,852 --> 00:59:51,019
Who's the dead guy?
1093
00:59:51,021 --> 00:59:52,988
Mr. kipper
how the hell should I know?
1094
00:59:52,990 --> 00:59:56,925
I figure pharms did it.
He was always a
1095
00:59:56,927 --> 01:00:00,329
closet sicko type.
1096
01:00:00,331 --> 01:00:01,697
We all assumed it was you.
1097
01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:02,864
Mr. kipper
of course you did...
1098
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,934
I know what you
all assumed about me.
1099
01:00:06,736 --> 01:00:08,604
Homo kipper...
Cock sucker kipper.
1100
01:00:08,606 --> 01:00:10,138
Oh believe me I know.
1101
01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:13,141
But I know all the secrets.
1102
01:00:15,044 --> 01:00:18,647
You see, I know about under
cover action Jackson.
1103
01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:23,118
About the drugs. About the
stealing. See I know it all.
1104
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:27,623
Sometimes, playing dumb
works to your advantage.
1105
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,791
I guess it does.
1106
01:00:31,828 --> 01:00:32,894
So now we wait.
1107
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,131
Fine.
1108
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:38,033
Fine.
1109
01:00:50,947 --> 01:00:52,981
Son of a bitch.
1110
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:54,049
Dave
what's that?
1111
01:00:54,051 --> 01:00:56,385
Oh nothing.
1112
01:00:56,387 --> 01:01:01,757
Say Dave. Would you still
consider splitting the money,
1113
01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:04,826
even though I tried to kill you?
1114
01:01:04,828 --> 01:01:07,396
Change of heart now Mr. kipper?
1115
01:01:07,398 --> 01:01:10,766
You might say that.
1116
01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:11,767
What brought that on?
1117
01:01:12,869 --> 01:01:16,938
I'm out of bullets.
1118
01:01:16,940 --> 01:01:17,873
You're out of bullets.
1119
01:01:17,875 --> 01:01:19,875
Yes...
1120
01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:24,813
Okay. Why don' you go ahead
and toss the gun out here.
1121
01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:29,051
Oh, of course.
1122
01:01:31,788 --> 01:01:34,856
Oh. Oops, sorry. I missed.
1123
01:01:34,858 --> 01:01:37,759
Dave
okay. I'm coming in.
1124
01:01:41,065 --> 01:01:42,964
Damn it Dave. You lied.
1125
01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:58,146
Damn!
1126
01:02:00,718 --> 01:02:05,187
Jack
Tara!
1127
01:02:05,189 --> 01:02:07,856
Tara
shit! God!
1128
01:02:07,858 --> 01:02:10,025
You scared the crap out of me.
1129
01:02:11,260 --> 01:02:13,028
We all thought you were dead.
1130
01:02:13,030 --> 01:02:14,463
So did I.
1131
01:02:14,465 --> 01:02:17,132
But I decided to stick
around for a little while.
1132
01:02:19,068 --> 01:02:20,836
Tara
can I have some.
1133
01:02:22,105 --> 01:02:26,041
Come on! Sharing is caring.
1134
01:02:27,510 --> 01:02:29,111
And what do I get?
1135
01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:33,949
Ew! I am not fucking
you right now.
1136
01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:35,817
Why not?
1137
01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:38,487
Because you look like
a flesh eaten zombie.
1138
01:02:38,489 --> 01:02:41,790
So... sharing is
caring you just said so.
1139
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:44,493
That was before your flesh
got burnt off by acid.
1140
01:02:44,495 --> 01:02:46,762
Oh come on!
1141
01:02:46,764 --> 01:02:48,964
Seriously?
1142
01:02:48,966 --> 01:02:51,066
You've done so much worse.
1143
01:02:51,068 --> 01:02:54,503
You let those eight Mexicans run
a train on you at olive garden
1144
01:02:54,505 --> 01:02:58,106
because they said they'd
give you endless salad.
1145
01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:01,843
That's free.
Everybody gets that.
1146
01:03:01,845 --> 01:03:07,249
Come on Tara... please....
1147
01:03:07,251 --> 01:03:10,085
Ah! Oh my god!
1148
01:03:10,087 --> 01:03:12,287
Ah! I swear to
god I'll be fast.
1149
01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:14,823
I'm fast. Faster than
a car alarm even.
1150
01:03:14,825 --> 01:03:17,225
Come on and just,
just fuck me please Tara
1151
01:03:17,227 --> 01:03:18,293
fine!
1152
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:22,063
Yay!
1153
01:03:22,065 --> 01:03:24,966
Jack
uh! Oh! That's so good.
1154
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:26,568
Ah! Ah! Ah!
1155
01:03:26,570 --> 01:03:28,303
Ah... oops!
1156
01:03:34,544 --> 01:03:37,813
You know Dave, I don't
even have the money.
1157
01:03:46,222 --> 01:03:47,289
Dave?
1158
01:04:03,906 --> 01:04:06,141
Mr. kipper
Dave? Dave?
1159
01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:24,860
Jack
hey new guy. You alive?
1160
01:04:26,128 --> 01:04:28,063
Dave
i need help.
1161
01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,599
Hey listen. I'd love to
stay and chat about it.
1162
01:04:30,601 --> 01:04:32,067
You know the line.
1163
01:04:32,069 --> 01:04:34,169
Dead relatives welcoming
you and all but,
1164
01:04:34,171 --> 01:04:37,606
I have absolutely got to
go and kill Mr. kipper.
1165
01:04:37,608 --> 01:04:42,344
Hey, check this out.
I'm gonna use a chain saw.
1166
01:04:42,346 --> 01:04:44,179
Isn't that wicked?
1167
01:04:44,181 --> 01:04:47,649
Jack
you are absolutely
not even into this.
1168
01:04:47,651 --> 01:04:51,253
Dave
i need an ambulance, Jack.
1169
01:04:51,255 --> 01:04:53,021
Jack
hey, I'll make you a deal.
1170
01:04:53,023 --> 01:04:54,623
After I cut kipper into bits...
1171
01:04:54,625 --> 01:04:56,958
I'll come back and
dice you up too.
1172
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,895
Quickly though... okay?
1173
01:05:01,365 --> 01:05:05,267
Jack
what? I can't hear you.
1174
01:05:05,269 --> 01:05:09,404
Chain saw!
1175
01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:11,439
I'll be back!
1176
01:05:14,977 --> 01:05:17,946
Hey, you didn't tell me
black Jack was dead.
1177
01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:19,681
Maybe I'll chop him up too.
1178
01:05:21,685 --> 01:05:24,386
Mr. kipper
ah! Ah, ah, no!
1179
01:05:55,418 --> 01:05:57,352
Mr. kipper
oh Dave, Dave...
1180
01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:58,987
Dave
wait! Wait!
1181
01:05:58,989 --> 01:06:00,388
What? What?
1182
01:06:00,390 --> 01:06:02,023
You're out of bullets.
1183
01:06:02,025 --> 01:06:05,360
Oh the hell I am. It's a six
shot. There's one left.
1184
01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:09,297
Dave
pharms, Otto, Jack. You
fired at me three times.
1185
01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:11,499
No, no. I shot you twice.
1186
01:06:13,135 --> 01:06:14,369
Dave
no wait, wait, wait...
1187
01:06:14,371 --> 01:06:15,704
Who's the dead guy?
1188
01:06:15,706 --> 01:06:17,439
I don't know!
1189
01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:19,107
And I don't think
we'll ever know.
1190
01:06:19,109 --> 01:06:20,141
You killed him.
1191
01:06:20,143 --> 01:06:23,044
No! No, no, no!
1192
01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:26,348
But I think I know who did.
1193
01:06:26,350 --> 01:06:29,217
Who was the one person
1194
01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:31,753
who wasn't with us
when we found the body?
1195
01:06:31,755 --> 01:06:33,455
Dave
pharms?
Mr. kipper
no
1196
01:06:33,457 --> 01:06:35,256
Otto?
Uh-uh.
1197
01:06:35,258 --> 01:06:37,092
Santa claus?
Are you serious?
1198
01:06:37,094 --> 01:06:38,460
Tara?
Please?
1199
01:06:38,462 --> 01:06:40,395
Jack?
Dave!
1200
01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:42,397
Black Jack?
No!
1201
01:06:42,399 --> 01:06:44,766
You?
No, no, no...
1202
01:06:44,768 --> 01:06:46,401
Mitch.
1203
01:06:46,403 --> 01:06:48,103
Who the fuck is Mitch?
1204
01:06:48,105 --> 01:06:50,005
Mitch kalper.
1205
01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:53,108
He didn't show
up for work tonight
1206
01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:55,410
that's why you had to
come in.
1207
01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:59,381
Oh please. Someone must
have mentioned that to you.
1208
01:06:59,383 --> 01:07:02,183
Ex-con. Did time for robbery...
1209
01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:05,253
Uh, got hired
because he sued us.
1210
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:07,088
Corporate wanted to
keep it confidential
1211
01:07:07,090 --> 01:07:10,191
because... that's
the way they are.
1212
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:14,095
Look but,
i was collecting evidence....
1213
01:07:14,097 --> 01:07:15,330
Because he was stealing...
1214
01:07:15,332 --> 01:07:18,366
And I was going to have
him arrested and fired.
1215
01:07:18,368 --> 01:07:19,768
I don't understand.
1216
01:07:19,770 --> 01:07:22,237
Oh! Forget
about it. Old news.
1217
01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:27,242
The point is, we're never going
to find out who killed that guy.
1218
01:07:28,811 --> 01:07:33,148
You see, in real life you don't
always have surprise endings.
1219
01:07:33,150 --> 01:07:35,583
Sometimes the truth
is just... just boring.
1220
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:40,789
Anyway Dave, your employment
here just isn't working out.
1221
01:07:40,791 --> 01:07:43,458
So I would consider
this, a termination.
1222
01:07:43,460 --> 01:07:44,526
No. No!
1223
01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:45,627
Black Jack
kipper!
1224
01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,597
You again?
1225
01:07:51,268 --> 01:07:52,534
Dave
i told you!
1226
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:01,242
Black Jack... you're
my little sea man right?
1227
01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:12,821
Mr kipper
oh... ah... no!
1228
01:08:15,859 --> 01:08:19,360
Black Jack
i knew that mother fucker
was gonna try to bounce.
1229
01:08:20,529 --> 01:08:22,130
Where you think you goin'?
1230
01:08:22,132 --> 01:08:23,298
Just... oh god...
1231
01:08:23,300 --> 01:08:24,365
Where's the money?
1232
01:08:24,367 --> 01:08:25,500
I don't know man.
1233
01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:28,470
Seriously...
Where'd kipper stash it?
1234
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:30,371
No! I don't know!
1235
01:08:32,241 --> 01:08:36,244
Fine. This is how
you wanna play?
1236
01:08:57,299 --> 01:08:59,601
Jack
always keepin' an eye on me.
1237
01:09:18,921 --> 01:09:21,289
- Fuck!
- [Slamming phone down
1238
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,774
Jack
Mr. kipper!
1239
01:09:40,309 --> 01:09:43,278
I'm so happy you're still alive.
1240
01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:46,581
Mr. kipper
Jack! Please.
1241
01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:49,684
You do know, killing you is
going to be the absolute
1242
01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:53,421
highlight of my night.
1243
01:09:53,423 --> 01:09:54,489
Mr. kipper
Jack...
1244
01:09:56,692 --> 01:10:00,261
Bye Mr. kipper.
Merry Christmas.
1245
01:10:00,263 --> 01:10:02,330
There's something that
you should know.
1246
01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:04,599
Yes.
1247
01:10:04,601 --> 01:10:18,413
Corporate prefers you
say happy holidays.
1248
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:45,306
Jack
come out come out
wherever you are Dave.
1249
01:10:56,986 --> 01:10:59,520
You'll never get out Dave.
1250
01:10:59,522 --> 01:11:03,625
I've got all the keys
to all the exits.
1251
01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:36,357
You're a sea man
on my tight little ship.
1252
01:11:36,359 --> 01:11:38,026
Otto
mother fucker help me!
1253
01:11:55,544 --> 01:11:57,545
Those were my
damn fritter wrappers.
1254
01:11:57,547 --> 01:11:59,514
And my soda can.
1255
01:11:59,516 --> 01:12:01,649
I leave 'em wherever
i goddamn want to.
1256
01:12:03,452 --> 01:12:05,386
And I don't give a
shit who's goat you killed.
1257
01:12:05,388 --> 01:12:07,355
Ah!
1258
01:12:15,064 --> 01:12:16,831
Jack
hey! New guy.
1259
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,367
Get over there.
1260
01:12:19,369 --> 01:12:22,737
for someone playin'
quadriplegic a few minutes ago.
1261
01:12:22,739 --> 01:12:23,838
I need an ambulance man.
1262
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,541
Oh, don't waste your time man.
1263
01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:28,876
You're done. I'm just sayin'.
1264
01:12:31,413 --> 01:12:32,680
You're really gonna kill me?
1265
01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:36,584
Yeah, duh. That's how
these things go right?
1266
01:12:38,088 --> 01:12:39,420
What about the money?
1267
01:12:39,422 --> 01:12:41,656
The money? Come on man.
1268
01:12:41,658 --> 01:12:43,825
I'm almost dead.
You're almost dead.
1269
01:12:43,827 --> 01:12:47,929
Ain't gonna do us any good now.
Probably all burnt it up anyway.
1270
01:12:49,131 --> 01:12:53,101
Alright well... good
luck in the after life.
1271
01:12:53,103 --> 01:12:56,838
Merry cr- happy holiday!
1272
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,373
Woah, woah. Hold on a second.
1273
01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:02,577
I got somethin' for you.
1274
01:13:02,579 --> 01:13:04,512
That's right. Yeah.
1275
01:13:04,514 --> 01:13:05,646
Is that a fritter?
1276
01:13:05,648 --> 01:13:06,647
Sure is.
1277
01:13:06,649 --> 01:13:07,715
You got a fritter?
1278
01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:12,453
I tell you what... you give me
that fritter, I won't kill you.
1279
01:13:12,455 --> 01:13:13,454
You promise?
1280
01:13:13,456 --> 01:13:15,123
Yeah! Toss it over.
1281
01:13:15,125 --> 01:13:16,791
Alright!
1282
01:13:19,128 --> 01:13:23,498
Ah! You dumb ass!
1283
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:24,932
Imma kill you anyway.
1284
01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:28,770
Mmm. Ah.
1285
01:13:28,772 --> 01:13:30,505
It's good right?
1286
01:13:30,507 --> 01:13:33,441
Yeah. Christmas came
early for old Jackie boy.
1287
01:13:33,443 --> 01:13:35,643
Fritter and
an extra
1288
01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:43,451
Jack
did you do...
1289
01:14:08,911 --> 01:14:11,579
Dave
enjoy your
fuckin' fritter bitch!
1290
01:14:11,581 --> 01:14:13,214
It's not even a
fuckin' fritter anyway.
1291
01:14:13,216 --> 01:14:18,553
All day, I need my fritter i
need my fritter you stupid fuck!
1292
01:14:18,555 --> 01:14:21,789
What the fuck!
1293
01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:24,992
Nice try Dave, but you loose.
1294
01:14:24,994 --> 01:14:27,995
Time to kill you. Sorry.
1295
01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:29,797
Don't apologize to me.
1296
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:31,866
What?
1297
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:34,535
Apologize to bucky.
1298
01:14:36,506 --> 01:14:39,907
Jack
ah! What the fuck man!
1299
01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:45,213
Ah! Oh my god. I was kidding.
1300
01:14:45,215 --> 01:14:48,549
Oh! Oh my god.
Did it leave a mark?
1301
01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:51,953
Ah! Is there
a mark. Oh my god.
1302
01:14:56,659 --> 01:15:02,797
Jack
a beaver hit me in my che-St.
1303
01:15:02,799 --> 01:15:08,836
I'm sorry.
1304
01:15:08,838 --> 01:15:12,974
I think I'm goin'.
1305
01:15:12,976 --> 01:15:15,543
Dave
no! Oh shit!
1306
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:57,885
Otto
four fuckin' tours in Iraq,
three tours in Afghanistan,
1307
01:15:57,887 --> 01:16:02,757
816 Mexicans across the
cartel couldn't kill me.
1308
01:16:02,759 --> 01:16:06,894
Ain't some cock suckin' fairies
at a hardware store gonna do it.
1309
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,998
Bunch of fuckin' cock suckers.
1310
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,568
Who am I gonna kill next?
1311
01:16:13,570 --> 01:16:18,906
Otto
king Kong ain't got shit on me!
1312
01:16:20,042 --> 01:16:25,046
Blue hard hat
man they tore this place up.
What the hell happened here?
1313
01:16:25,048 --> 01:16:28,649
Yellow hard hat
some guy went nuts
on Christmas Eve.
1314
01:16:28,651 --> 01:16:32,019
Massacred all of
his co-workers.
1315
01:16:32,021 --> 01:16:35,056
Blue hard hat
hey Jim...
1316
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:38,693
Check this out.
1317
01:16:38,695 --> 01:16:41,028
Yellow hard hat
what's in it?
1318
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,673
John
they called us the
Santa hat bandits.
1319
01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:56,944
Go stash the bag. I'm gonna
go steal the store keys.
1320
01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:58,946
We'll come back after
they close tonight.
1321
01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:01,649
Meet me in two minutes.
1322
01:17:23,405 --> 01:17:27,708
Jack
you're a sea man on my tight
little... uh, uh, uh,
1323
01:17:35,884 --> 01:17:37,218
Jack
alright!
1324
01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:47,828
Jack
... a sea man on my
tight little ship.
1325
01:17:48,397 --> 01:17:53,401
Joey
Mitch!
1326
01:17:53,403 --> 01:17:54,669
Anybody!
1327
01:17:57,406 --> 01:18:00,975
I'm stuck in the box.
1328
01:18:01,843 --> 01:18:04,412
I can't breath in here.
1329
01:18:04,414 --> 01:18:07,915
I'm suffocating!
1330
01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:10,217
Mitch!
1331
01:18:11,421 --> 01:18:15,423
Oh my god. I'm
gonna miss Christmas.
1332
01:18:21,897 --> 01:18:22,997
Mitch
Joey!
1333
01:18:25,434 --> 01:18:27,234
Joey!
1334
01:18:28,437 --> 01:18:31,739
Back stabbin son of a bitch!
93353
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