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1
00:01:03,332 --> 00:01:08,332
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:15,875
Aah! No! No!
3
00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:18,811
- Thirty seconds.
- No! No! I'm not doing this!
4
00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:23,115
Perry! Just breathe with me.
Just relax and breathe in...
5
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,617
- Ah!
- Out.
6
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,153
- Aah!
- Good. Good.
7
00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:30,155
You're doing great.
8
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:32,524
Slow in...
9
00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:35,561
And out. So good.
10
00:01:35,593 --> 00:01:38,263
- Okay. Safe and sound.
- Ah!
11
00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,198
Fifteen seconds.
12
00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:41,834
- No! I can't do this! I won't!
- Relax and breathe!
13
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,904
I'm not relaxing.
And I'm not jumping!
14
00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:46,771
- You promised me.
- On the ground!
15
00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:48,574
I promised you on the ground!
16
00:01:48,606 --> 00:01:52,310
- You promised me in the bed.
- Which is on the ground!
17
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,312
- Trust me!
- Ah!
18
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:55,381
You're gonna love it!
19
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:56,516
It's now or never!
20
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,850
It's never!
21
00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,317
It's now!
22
00:02:05,323 --> 00:02:07,359
I'm coming!
23
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,661
I'm getting closer!
24
00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:12,899
Perry! Perry, I'm coming!
25
00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,903
I've got you!
26
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,672
Relax!
27
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:22,775
Relax?! Ten miles
up in the air. Are you crazy?
28
00:02:22,807 --> 00:02:24,644
- But I know...
- But nothing!
29
00:02:24,676 --> 00:02:27,479
You're insane and
I'm insane for being with you!
30
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,481
- Okay. What are you saying?
- I'm saying,
31
00:02:29,514 --> 00:02:31,516
that if by some miracle
I'm not a pancake
32
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,587
in the next thirty seconds,
we're done!
33
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,254
Wait, are you
breaking up with me?
34
00:02:36,288 --> 00:02:37,856
Yes, you freakin' maniac!
35
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:40,759
Fine! Pull your ripcord, then.
36
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,361
With pleasure!
37
00:02:43,628 --> 00:02:45,164
Goodbye!
38
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:49,769
Help me, Jessie! Help me!
39
00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:51,469
I got you, let me flip it.
40
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:55,507
All right, hold on!
41
00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,450
I love you, forever.
42
00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:06,852
This is my perfect moment.
43
00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,521
My man, my love.
44
00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:12,258
- My ass!
- I just saved you
45
00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:13,960
and you're still
breaking up with me,
46
00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:15,760
it is not a good time.
47
00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:17,763
Who cares, you psycho!
48
00:03:17,795 --> 00:03:19,731
This was supposed to be
an adventure!
49
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,800
Just get me to the ground
as fast as possible
50
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,468
so I can be done with you!
51
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:24,837
- Really?
- Really!
52
00:03:26,604 --> 00:03:27,572
Okay.
53
00:03:27,605 --> 00:03:30,909
Ah! You crazy bitch!
54
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:34,713
Ah!
55
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,450
Ugh!
56
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,418
Look out!
57
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:42,687
I'm so sorry! Watch out!
58
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:43,923
Oh, crap!
59
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:54,633
Oh!
60
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,436
Everybody good?
61
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,838
I'm so sorry!
I know how you must feel.
62
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,541
I work on weddings sometimes.
63
00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:04,609
Get out of here!
64
00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:06,444
It's a beautiful wedding.
65
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:08,948
I would love to
get that dress cleaned for you!
66
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:11,283
Get outta here!
67
00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:17,423
You've ruined my wedding!
68
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:20,293
For God's sake, who are you?
69
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,831
Take this and go! Go!
70
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,400
Get outta here!
71
00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,302
♪ There goes the bride ♪
72
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:33,372
♪ Dressed in muddy white ♪
73
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,373
Wedding trasher!
74
00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,344
Get out of here!
75
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:40,745
Wedding trasher!
76
00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:41,713
You ruined this for me!
77
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,624
♪ You think that we could be ♪
78
00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:54,926
♪ Perfect in love ♪
79
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:59,798
♪ If you do you're utterly,
Totally, perfectly wrong ♪
80
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,737
♪ Love is perfect
Love is pure ♪
81
00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,906
♪ We screw it up
That's for sure ♪
82
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,876
♪ Don't blame love ♪
83
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,112
♪ The blame is on us... ♪
84
00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:16,882
Okay, folks. The moment
you've all been waiting for!
85
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:20,386
The historical, hysterical,
completely inaccurate
86
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:21,586
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour!
87
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,055
Listen, it's gonna be a blast.
88
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:24,490
And if you don't have fun,
89
00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,359
tough beans,
because you already paid,
90
00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:28,026
and it's impossible
to get a refund.
91
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,129
High five! Boom! Pound it out.
92
00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,063
- Boom! There you go.
- Look out.
93
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,733
Wait a minute!
94
00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:37,737
I did not know the Miss America
pageant was in town.
95
00:05:37,769 --> 00:05:40,072
- You're fresh.
- Thank you for noticing.
96
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:42,007
The secret to that
is showering monthly,
97
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,643
exercising never,
and drinking a bunch.
98
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,444
Wow, it's working.
99
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,980
Though, you may wanna
revisit that shower schedule.
100
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,516
Like what,
once every two months?
101
00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:51,816
That's what I was thinking.
102
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,486
Like the water
conservation thing.
103
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,954
- Yeah.
- You're nasty. I like it.
104
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,857
Glass slipper.
105
00:05:57,889 --> 00:05:59,724
Cinderella's
my favorite character.
106
00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:02,661
- Where's the other one?
- Prince Charming has it.
107
00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:04,830
And where is he?
108
00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:06,699
Hmm, that's the question,
isn't it?
109
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:10,136
Uh! Make room for Cinderella
110
00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,504
and her not ugly stepsisters!
111
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,173
Come on in.
112
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,040
Dressed for the cause,
I like the suit.
113
00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:17,910
Oh, and the purple
brings out your eyes.
114
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,913
♪ Don't blame love ♪
115
00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,149
♪ Don't blame love ♪
116
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,586
♪ Blame us. ♪
117
00:06:55,613 --> 00:06:57,015
- Gah!
- Oh! Ooh!
118
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,084
Oh, God, sorry. Are you okay?
119
00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:01,020
What do you think you're doing?
120
00:07:01,052 --> 00:07:02,687
I'm so sorry, that
was totally my fault.
121
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,023
Bloody scooters!
122
00:07:04,055 --> 00:07:05,723
Are you Lawrence Phillips?
123
00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,059
Yes, I am.
124
00:07:07,091 --> 00:07:09,127
I've had your food
at a wedding.
125
00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:10,829
- Oh, good.
- It was incredible.
126
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,163
Yeah, I'm glad you survived.
127
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,732
I want you to
cater my wedding. I...
128
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,634
No, I'm booked
years in advance.
129
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:17,702
Oh, no, I mean, I'm
not even engaged. It's okay.
130
00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,471
My last boyfriend dropped me.
131
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:21,105
I dropped him, actually,
into a lake.
132
00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:22,708
Into a lake?
133
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,976
So, I got off, relatively
lightly, this morning.
134
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,480
I am sorry. It was
really nice to meet you.
135
00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:29,781
I could say,
it was fun bumping into you,
136
00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:31,250
but I'd be
stretching the truth.
137
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,985
Have a great day.
138
00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,021
Oh, God.
139
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,865
Hi. Sorry, I'm a fraction late.
140
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,600
I literally ran into
Lawrence Phillips,
141
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:48,733
who's just so...
142
00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:50,034
- Uptight?
- Precise.
143
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,637
- Crabby and anal.
- A perfectionist.
144
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,872
An OCD pain in the ass.
145
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,606
The best in the city.
146
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,075
I guess, I was thinking
more like famous.
147
00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,077
I'm the groom. Hi, I'm Robert.
148
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:02,113
And our next mayor.
Jessie English.
149
00:08:02,146 --> 00:08:05,149
It's an honor. I mailed
my ballot in yesterday,
150
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,118
so, you're winning,
one to nothing.
151
00:08:07,151 --> 00:08:09,587
Well, if you've voted for me,
then I'm voting for me.
152
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,757
I'm Liz. I'm the bride.
And this is Lucifer.
153
00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:16,228
Bev. Robert's campaign manager.
And we are on a schedule.
154
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,963
I'm Jimmy,
the not famous Barton.
155
00:08:17,995 --> 00:08:19,264
The black sheep Barton.
156
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,600
- Nice to meet you, too.
- You, too.
157
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,735
I'm late for an important date,
so, I'm gone.
158
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,704
Thank you, again, for the
best man thing.
159
00:08:25,737 --> 00:08:27,973
- It means a lot.
- Absolu...
160
00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:30,709
- Leave.
- I won't let you down.
161
00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:33,812
Oh!
162
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,247
- Sorry about that.
- Go-go-go-go.
163
00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:37,048
- I got it.
- Thank you. Thank you.
164
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,019
- My brother.
- At least we know
165
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,921
- you're gonna win.
- How?
166
00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:44,556
Every successful politician
has that train-wreck brother.
167
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,925
Do you have anything nice
to say about anyone?
168
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,326
- Yes.
- Who?
169
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,061
- Me. I think I'm terrific.
- Right.
170
00:08:49,094 --> 00:08:50,729
I got a call about a wedding...
171
00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,697
Robert, this is the girl
who planned the wedding
172
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,165
- that Diane raved about.
- Oh!
173
00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:56,168
Oh, you mean,
my cousin, Tina's wedding.
174
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,202
I didn't plan, plan that.
I just did it as a favor.
175
00:08:58,235 --> 00:09:00,172
Okay, well, I saw the photos
and it was beautiful.
176
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:04,076
Thanks. So, I'm here
about the florist job?
177
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,677
Ah, no, you're not.
178
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,278
So, we have a florist.
We need a planner.
179
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:08,781
And the wedding
is in eight days.
180
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,214
Sorry, eight days?
181
00:09:10,248 --> 00:09:12,217
Amazing.
Are you pregnant?
182
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,153
No, no, we've
had this scheduled for a year.
183
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:15,754
- We've just had some...
- Firings.
184
00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,221
- Yeah, and some...
- Quittings.
185
00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,258
- Disagreements.
- Fifth time's a charm.
186
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,126
I would be the fifth?
187
00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:23,962
We have a few different points
of view about the wedding.
188
00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:26,230
Hey, this should be simple.
You two love each other, right?
189
00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,233
Yes.
190
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:30,168
So,
what's the problem?
191
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:32,004
What's your
favorite kind of music?
192
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:33,605
I love classical.
193
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:34,974
Lovely, so Mozart's
"Wedding March."
194
00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,375
I'm rock and roll.
195
00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:38,043
Queen. "Crazy Little Thing
Called Love."
196
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,379
- I want it traditional.
- Classic, elegant.
197
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:42,748
And I want it short.
Just, like, bullshit, bullshit.
198
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,349
I do. I do.
Let's just get to the party.
199
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,219
Rad. So, young, fresh, modern...
200
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:49,921
So, completely un-newsworthy.
201
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,724
You have to think of
press and TV.
202
00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,626
No offense, but
zero percent of my friends
203
00:09:54,659 --> 00:09:56,828
read the society pages
or watch the local news.
204
00:09:56,861 --> 00:10:00,131
But if your candidate
could throw a knockout party,
205
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,867
it will be Instagrammed,
texted, tweeted,
206
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,702
YouTube'ed, TikTok'ed.
207
00:10:04,735 --> 00:10:07,673
Robert Barton is...
He's cool. He's relatable.
208
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:09,774
- Robert, what do you think?
- I think you should
209
00:10:09,807 --> 00:10:11,777
- go with Lawrence.
- And you're not Robert.
210
00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,112
Wait, Lawrence Phillips
wants to do it?
211
00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:17,015
Hey, as much as I would love
to have this job, get him.
212
00:10:17,048 --> 00:10:19,283
- I'll bus the tables.
- I just... I don't feel like...
213
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:21,787
- What was your name again?
- Jessie English.
214
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:23,389
Oh, I'll be right back.
Excuse me.
215
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,224
Don't I recognize you
from somewhere?
216
00:10:25,256 --> 00:10:26,991
Uh, maybe.
217
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,427
You're the Wedding Trasher,
aren't you?
218
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:32,163
- Yep.
- You were with that anchorman.
219
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:35,967
Yeah. I ruined that,
and somebody's wedding.
220
00:10:36,999 --> 00:10:37,669
Thank you for coming,
you're out.
221
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:40,105
Well, thank you.
Thanks for the time.
222
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,441
Now we're off to a meeting
with the lobster guild.
223
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,777
Okay. So,
can you start right now?
224
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:46,310
You really want her?
225
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:48,147
We're in trouble. Okay?
226
00:10:48,179 --> 00:10:49,747
I mean, Diane said she's great.
227
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,750
She's here. She has a pulse.
228
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:52,884
Yeah, I want her.
229
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,452
Fine. You're hired.
230
00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,154
Don't worry, I won't
hold it against you.
231
00:10:56,187 --> 00:10:57,288
- Thank you.
- Hold what?
232
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,091
- Nothing.
- Not nothing.
233
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:01,826
- Welcome aboard.
- You won't regret this.
234
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,428
Let's hope not.
235
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:05,230
- Amazing.
- I know, it's gonna be great.
236
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,199
So, come on, we have, like,
a thousand things to do.
237
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,333
Yes, tell me everything.
238
00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,239
As there will be
extensive press coverage,
239
00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,108
TV, print, and the Internet,
240
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,110
everyone will arrive in limos.
241
00:11:18,143 --> 00:11:20,479
I'm an environmentalist.
I hate this limo crap.
242
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,113
Is that
other one yours?
243
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,350
- Yep.
- Tell him to take the day off.
244
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,719
Hey!
245
00:11:32,857 --> 00:11:35,426
- Zero emissions.
- Very nice.
246
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,963
- Gainsborough Street, please.
- Whoa. A celebrity.
247
00:11:37,995 --> 00:11:40,031
- Ha, ha, very funny.
- Wedding trasher.
248
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:42,000
- Okay. We gotta go.
- Do me a favor?
249
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,936
Just sit still and
try not to trash my cab.
250
00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,403
What is he saying?
251
00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:47,038
He thinks I'm some
kind of famous person.
252
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,841
It's so much easier
if I just say yes.
253
00:11:51,909 --> 00:11:53,745
All right. So,
254
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,447
this how we're gonna do it
on the duck tour.
255
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,149
We're gonna do a little thing
called the quack quack.
256
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,917
Now, my command is,
"What'd it do?"
257
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,886
And after I say,
"What'd it do?" You say...
258
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:01,886
Quack, quack!
259
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,354
There we go. High five.
260
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:04,956
All right. What'd it do?
261
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,325
Quack, quack.
262
00:12:06,357 --> 00:12:07,825
Just Cinderella... What'd it do?
263
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:10,095
- Quack, quack.
- Ooh, nice.
264
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,902
The very first lighthouse
was built in 1717,
265
00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:18,369
in the Boston Harbor,
266
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:21,038
making it the oldest erection
in the nation.
267
00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:23,408
That is, if you
don't count Larry King.
268
00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:27,011
Boom! Nailed it!
269
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,093
Hmm.
270
00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,098
- Randall?
- Yes, sir?
271
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,132
Measure.
272
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,074
Eleven and a half.
273
00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:57,842
- Who?
- Juan.
274
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,010
Juan?
275
00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:02,815
Yes, sir?
276
00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:03,848
Eleven and a half.
277
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:05,416
- No. I...
- Yes.
278
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,052
And it's not as if
you've slightly missed
279
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:08,353
by a 32nd or even a 16th,
280
00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:10,021
but a full half inch.
281
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:11,556
I could see it
the moment I came in.
282
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:15,060
The entire room
was out of balance.
283
00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:17,929
You're off crystal.
284
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:21,265
Re-measure all his tables
and put him on salads.
285
00:13:21,298 --> 00:13:23,235
Half an inch, God!
286
00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:26,104
Lawrence!
287
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,572
What are you two doing here?
288
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,107
- Saying hi.
- This is gorgeous.
289
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,543
Yes, well,
gorgeous is what we do,
290
00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,010
but I'm right in the middle...
291
00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,178
Of an unhappy life?
292
00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:35,514
We were in the neighborhood
293
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,249
and wanted to
say hi to the genius.
294
00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:39,251
Well, yes, hi and goodbye.
295
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:41,220
You don't have a moment
for your best friends?
296
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,287
Not right now.
297
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,589
Looks pretty good.
298
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,990
"Pretty good"
could get you fired.
299
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,391
Oh, well, I meant...
300
00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:48,526
I frankly don't care
what you meant.
301
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,429
The centerpiece table
is the signature creation
302
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,097
of every
Lawrence Phillips event.
303
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:56,869
And "pretty good"
is not in our lexicon.
304
00:13:56,902 --> 00:14:00,072
We start at perfect
and we ascend from there.
305
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,106
Gonna run one thing by you,
and we're gone.
306
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,908
You haven't had a date
since Beth died.
307
00:14:03,942 --> 00:14:05,376
- Five years ago.
- You're miserable.
308
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,178
- And lonely.
- Yes. Thank you,
309
00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:10,148
Dr. and Mrs. Phil,
but in six hours' time,
310
00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:11,583
I have 500 people
descending on...
311
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,451
- We fixed a lunch for you.
- What?
312
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:14,552
A blind date.
313
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,923
Steve, this is not
the right moment.
314
00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:19,925
It's never the right
moment with you.
315
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:22,293
So, we thought we'd surprise
you with a dating intervention.
316
00:14:22,326 --> 00:14:23,629
- Ugh!
- She's age appropriate,
317
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,430
- charming and beautiful.
- Oh, stop it.
318
00:14:25,462 --> 00:14:26,998
This is not funny.
319
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,167
I would never dream
of going on a blind date.
320
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,336
I hate surprises of any kind.
321
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:33,939
- That's too bad.
- Why?
322
00:14:33,971 --> 00:14:36,307
Because your blind date
is right now.
323
00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:39,344
- Sara!
- No. No, no.
324
00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:40,378
Okay.
325
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,383
Adios.
326
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,318
- No, look... I can't!
- Good luck!
327
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:49,955
Ah! Ah!
328
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:53,091
Oh! Oh, dear. I...
329
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:56,928
- Are you completely...
- Blind? Yes.
330
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:58,663
Yes, oh, dear. Completely.
331
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:02,301
I just, I don't know.
I mean, I came here
332
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,201
to meet a Lawrence,
but instead I...
333
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,605
- Yes, I'm Lawrence.
- Oh.
334
00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,473
Oh, my dear own God. So...
335
00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:12,510
You're my date. I'm Sara.
336
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:14,712
Lawrence Phillips.
337
00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:16,648
Did they not tell you about me?
338
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:18,550
They mentioned a blind date.
339
00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:21,086
Well, I think
the politically correct term
340
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:23,555
is "visually impaired" date.
341
00:15:23,587 --> 00:15:26,257
- Sorry.
- So, is lunch still on?
342
00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:29,194
I do apologize, but I'm under
savage pressure here today.
343
00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:31,129
- But I promise, we will...
- Oh, yeah.
344
00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:33,632
...lunch in the future
under slightly less...
345
00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,299
hectic circumstances.
346
00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,702
Now, if I may escort you out?
347
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,337
- Oh, yeah, okay.
- Ah!
348
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,673
Be careful now.
Easy, Teddy, easy.
349
00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:43,475
That-a boy.
350
00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:46,445
He can't be any worse
at aiming me than you are.
351
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:47,745
Hah!
352
00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:49,648
Your laugh has
something about it.
353
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:51,283
It sounds rusty.
354
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:52,718
How do you mean?
355
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,519
It sounds like
you don't do it enough.
356
00:15:54,552 --> 00:15:56,288
- Ah, well...
- Is that it?
357
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,623
Oh, we're fine.
358
00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:02,026
Oh, thank you, so much.
Thank you.
359
00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:03,761
There's a taxi for you.
360
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,129
No, really, I'm fine.
361
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,099
- No. I insist.
- Seriously.
362
00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:09,734
It's no problem at all.
363
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:13,404
Well, I apologize. It's just,
you catch me at a busy time.
364
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:15,573
Are you handsome?
365
00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,141
No, I'm ancient.
366
00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:20,144
What time are you done tonight?
367
00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:22,147
Oh, very late. About eleven.
368
00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:25,416
Oh, that's not late.
That's early, here.
369
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,451
We could have a drink,
or something.
370
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:29,620
It's in Braille.
371
00:16:29,653 --> 00:16:32,357
It's on the other side here.
No, that side. Yes.
372
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:39,697
I will call you.
373
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:41,000
I will answer.
374
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:44,068
Did you just wave?
375
00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:45,703
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.
376
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,204
I did.
377
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:50,275
Oh, that's good.
378
00:16:50,307 --> 00:16:53,245
Oh, my goodness, Teddy.
379
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,754
Calm down! Calm down!
380
00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:05,289
All right, take it easy!
381
00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,826
Let's just try to
get through this.
382
00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:10,628
I'm Eddie Stone, and
you've accidentally tuned in
383
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:13,664
to Crash Couples,
a so called game show
384
00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:16,301
based on love,
relationships, dating,
385
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:18,836
and a whole bunch of other crap
that nobody cares about.
386
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,339
We have whittled down
a thousand contestants
387
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,809
to these nervous twits
who are standing here
388
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,278
wetting themselves.
389
00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:31,215
Tonight, we'll find out who
will make up the four couples
390
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,785
who will compete
for one million dollars!
391
00:17:38,556 --> 00:17:41,125
The other twelve losers will...
392
00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:43,662
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
393
00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,830
Can I have Nick Matthews?
394
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,799
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
395
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,803
Nick, nobody wants to see
an old guy on TV.
396
00:17:51,836 --> 00:17:53,838
Me, yes. You, no.
397
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,575
I don't even know how
you got this far. You're out.
398
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,376
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
399
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,778
Let's speed this up.
400
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:04,248
Taylor, Molly,
Howard, Kenny, Elana...
401
00:18:04,281 --> 00:18:06,217
You are out!
402
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,519
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
403
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:09,721
You know the old saying,
opposites attract?
404
00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:13,324
BS. I think opposites
actually hate each other.
405
00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:15,793
Let's find out.
Where is Sharon?
406
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:18,163
- Ah!
- Oh! Whoa!
407
00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:20,531
Does
that say Sharon or Shaq?
408
00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:22,534
- Sharon.
- All right, fine.
409
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:25,503
Sharon, your opposite is Verne.
410
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,739
Yeah, Verne! Where's Verne?
411
00:18:27,771 --> 00:18:29,473
Where... Ha!
412
00:18:29,507 --> 00:18:31,676
Oh-ho, Jack and the Beanstalk.
413
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,180
And we have Gianna and Donald.
414
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,647
Where are you? Oh.
415
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:39,351
Gianna and...
416
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,452
Hoh, he's got
the right to bare arms.
417
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:44,556
Very nice.
Good luck to the two of you.
418
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:47,224
All right, next,
Habib and David.
419
00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:51,696
How the heck did we
end up with two guys?
420
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,398
Who's in charge of this show?
421
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:54,833
- You are.
- I... What?
422
00:18:54,865 --> 00:18:56,300
I... All right.
423
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:57,568
Screw it.
You guys are together.
424
00:18:57,602 --> 00:18:59,204
See how this works out.
425
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:01,373
And our last couple
426
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:05,809
Svetlana, 28 years old,
Russian and an attorney
427
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,711
and a hottie.
428
00:19:07,744 --> 00:19:09,446
- Am I allowed to say, hottie?
- No.
429
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,249
You're a hottie.
430
00:19:11,281 --> 00:19:13,350
Whoever gets her is the
luckiest guy on the planet.
431
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:15,452
Dream on, loser.
I got this one.
432
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,557
- Your mate is named...
- Jimmy Barton!
433
00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:20,224
- Here he is!
- Ha-ha!
434
00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:21,927
Jimmy Barton.
435
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,263
People often say that
they're attached to each other.
436
00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:26,865
So, we at Crash Couples
thought,
437
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:30,534
what would happen if
they were actually attached?
438
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,937
Come on!
439
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,208
Lock 'em up! Then,
you'll stay together until
440
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,376
you can't take it anymore,
for whatever crazy reason.
441
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,214
And when you finally decide
to break the link...
442
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,785
Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
443
00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:48,987
So, Shaq, what do you think?
444
00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:50,588
I'm game.
445
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,291
And you, shorty,
how can I help you out?
446
00:19:53,324 --> 00:19:55,460
Take it easy, Eddie,
I got this Amazon.
447
00:19:55,492 --> 00:19:57,494
Oh, he's got this Amazon.
448
00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:00,231
Bring me a stepladder
and some bungee cords.
449
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,267
There you have it,
450
00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,970
the four couples who
will compete for $1 million.
451
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:08,405
Actually, you know what?
452
00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:10,542
Why don't we stop here
and get a coffee real quick?
453
00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:11,776
- Sure.
- Yeah.
454
00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,612
Oh look,
she didn't trash my cab.
455
00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:15,713
Shut it! Uh, so,
456
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:18,250
I'll need a contact
for the florist and the band.
457
00:20:18,282 --> 00:20:20,317
Yes. Florist, yes.
We don't have a band yet,
458
00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,887
- but we have to talk about it.
- Jessie. Oh, my God!
459
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,425
Wow! Hi. This is
my cousin, Tina, who we...
460
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,427
- Oh!
- And, and this is Liz.
461
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,630
Wait, hi. I just saw the photos
from your wedding
462
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,931
and it was, like, amazing.
463
00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:34,598
Yeah. Well,
that's thanks to Jessie.
464
00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,534
Oh, I just helped out, really.
465
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:37,902
Bull. She did the whole thing.
466
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,703
Yeah. That's what I heard.
467
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,506
- And now she's planning mine.
- That's great!
468
00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,807
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
469
00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:44,541
- Come sit with us.
- No, we kind of
470
00:20:44,575 --> 00:20:46,510
- have a scheduled fitting...
- No, we're cool.
471
00:20:46,544 --> 00:20:47,946
Yeah, we're good.
472
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,547
- What was your name?
- It's Meg.
473
00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:51,548
Meg, okay. Liz.
Nice to meet you, too.
474
00:20:51,582 --> 00:20:53,852
Hey, guys, you
want some drinks?
475
00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:55,819
A Margarita Patrón,
salt, rocks.
476
00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:58,023
Okay. I'm sorry, are you...?
477
00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,723
Yes. It's me.
The wedding trasher.
478
00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,960
We can sit in the back
if that's easier for you.
479
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:06,330
Ah, no, I was just gonna see
if you guys wanted some menus.
480
00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,967
- Uh, yeah. Menus would be good.
- Okay.
481
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,368
Okay. I've heard
"wedding trasher" twice, now.
482
00:21:11,402 --> 00:21:13,438
You're gonna have to
forgive my cousin. She's...
483
00:21:13,471 --> 00:21:15,606
- Aggressive?
- Mm, more like competitive.
484
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,442
- She's super competitive.
- Can't lose.
485
00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:18,909
- To anyone.
- Ever.
486
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,511
Which is why she's
working on weddings
487
00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,846
instead of getting
married herself.
488
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,548
- Mm-hmm. And...
- Makes sense.
489
00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:24,915
- You have to see this.
- No-no-no!
490
00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,618
Hold on.
491
00:21:26,651 --> 00:21:28,687
This has over seven and
a half million views.
492
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,422
Wait for it. Yeah.
493
00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:33,325
No...
494
00:21:33,357 --> 00:21:35,426
- Oh!
- Oh, my!
495
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,694
Wait, is that Perry Blake?
496
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,563
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep, right there.
497
00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:41,965
You dropped a Channel Seven
news anchorman into a lake?
498
00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,701
Is he gonna sue you?
499
00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:46,603
I'm pretty sure my
legal responsibility ended
500
00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:49,073
once I granted his request
to return him to the ground
501
00:21:49,106 --> 00:21:51,809
- as soon as possible.
- Oh, Jessie!
502
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:55,647
But I am, now and forever,
the wedding trasher.
503
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,450
- So, I'm just gonna...
- Wait, where are you going?
504
00:22:00,017 --> 00:22:02,086
- I'm just gonna go.
- What?
505
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,987
I know you don't need me
or my bad press.
506
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,856
- What are you...
- So, I'm gonna make it simple.
507
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,792
No, no, I think that's funny.
508
00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:10,862
Okay, you're an ass-kicker.
Just kick ass for me. Just...
509
00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:13,565
I don't know, pretend my
wedding is a guy, or something.
510
00:22:13,597 --> 00:22:16,067
I'm serious. Sit down.
511
00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,002
- Seriously, it's gonna be fine.
- Welcome back.
512
00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:20,971
In the meantime,
let's maybe replay that?
513
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,440
- Oh, God!
- I will pay extra
514
00:22:22,472 --> 00:22:23,674
for you to do that
at my wedding.
515
00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:24,843
Do it in slo-mo.
516
00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:26,543
All right. So, that ends
517
00:22:26,576 --> 00:22:28,445
this edition of
the why book the duck tour,
518
00:22:28,479 --> 00:22:30,548
and drag me along.
So now, I get to drag her
519
00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:32,015
to Fenway Park tonight.
520
00:22:33,851 --> 00:22:35,887
- What'd it do?
- Quack, quack.
521
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,689
You were doing it great
all morning
522
00:22:37,721 --> 00:22:39,490
and now you're messing it up.
What'd it do?
523
00:22:39,523 --> 00:22:40,991
- Quack, quack!
- Yes!
524
00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:44,729
Okay. Everyone get off.
Leave, it's over.
525
00:22:44,761 --> 00:22:46,597
Uh, Cinderella. Not you.
526
00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:48,432
I need one more dance
before midnight.
527
00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:51,970
Oh, Captain, you're so funny!
528
00:22:52,002 --> 00:22:53,804
- Yeah. Thank you.
- I just wanna...
529
00:22:53,837 --> 00:22:55,807
Excuse me.
Sorry, comin' through.
530
00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,074
Whoa, one second.
531
00:22:57,107 --> 00:22:59,510
Let me just see.
532
00:23:05,849 --> 00:23:07,751
Excuse me. Captain Ritchie?
533
00:23:07,785 --> 00:23:09,854
- Just Ritchie.
- Hi, I'm Gail Lovejoy.
534
00:23:09,886 --> 00:23:12,589
I'm a reporter
from WHG Channel Seven.
535
00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:14,692
I just took my parents
on your tour,
536
00:23:14,724 --> 00:23:16,126
and we really enjoyed it.
537
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,430
Thank you, guys.
Thank you for coming.
538
00:23:18,462 --> 00:23:20,531
I would love to do
a local color piece on you.
539
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:22,066
It sounds great,
but I'm not sure
540
00:23:22,098 --> 00:23:23,500
how funny I'd be right now.
541
00:23:23,534 --> 00:23:24,836
Oh, it wouldn't be today.
542
00:23:24,868 --> 00:23:26,703
Here, I'll give you my card.
543
00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:29,641
So, just give me a call
and we'll set up a time.
544
00:23:29,673 --> 00:23:31,977
- All right. Thank you.
- Thanks.
545
00:23:34,144 --> 00:23:36,213
Okay, folks.
546
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:39,050
Who's ready for
the historical, hysterical,
547
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:41,853
completely inaccurate, but
who cares about facts anyway,
548
00:23:41,885 --> 00:23:44,423
Captain Ritchie Duck Tour?
Come on, step right up.
549
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,603
Ah.
550
00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:00,038
That's gonna take
some getting used to.
551
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:01,673
Yes. Come.
552
00:24:01,705 --> 00:24:02,840
That way? Okay.
553
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,041
Wait, hold on.
554
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,545
Okay. Ow!
555
00:24:08,712 --> 00:24:12,483
Wait... Ah! Thank you.
556
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,251
What?
557
00:24:14,285 --> 00:24:16,187
We're not here.
We're with the show.
558
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,756
Just be natural.
We're not here.
559
00:24:18,788 --> 00:24:20,759
- How does this...
- No, just... not here.
560
00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:25,763
I got it.
561
00:24:25,796 --> 00:24:26,865
Thank you.
562
00:24:26,897 --> 00:24:28,131
After you.
563
00:24:33,703 --> 00:24:35,005
Oh! Ah.
564
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:36,540
Oh, boy.
565
00:24:36,574 --> 00:24:38,076
Sorry. I got it.
566
00:24:38,108 --> 00:24:40,077
You're wondering about this.
567
00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:41,946
It's a love chain.
568
00:24:41,979 --> 00:24:43,715
Newest thing.
We can't be apart.
569
00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,149
And the video crew...
570
00:24:45,182 --> 00:24:46,651
- We're not here.
- They're not here.
571
00:24:46,683 --> 00:24:49,186
I'll have a beer
and Svetlana...
572
00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,489
Vodka.
573
00:24:53,590 --> 00:24:55,158
So, Svetlana,
tell me about you.
574
00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:56,760
Where did you go to law school?
575
00:24:56,794 --> 00:24:58,096
- Harvard.
- I went to Harvard.
576
00:24:58,128 --> 00:24:59,997
I meant the University of Yale.
577
00:25:00,030 --> 00:25:02,834
Excuse me. Natasha! It's Bert!
578
00:25:02,866 --> 00:25:04,034
I'm no Natasha.
579
00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:06,738
It's Bert, from Saturday night.
580
00:25:06,770 --> 00:25:08,940
- Wrong person.
- You're not Natasha?
581
00:25:08,972 --> 00:25:10,807
Well, you must
have a twin, then.
582
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,210
No twin. Goodbye.
583
00:25:13,243 --> 00:25:15,012
All right, well,
have a good night.
584
00:25:17,147 --> 00:25:18,916
So, what kind of law
do you practice?
585
00:25:22,118 --> 00:25:25,923
♪ Doctor give me the medicine ♪
586
00:25:28,025 --> 00:25:32,130
♪ And you'll see
I've got this addiction ♪
587
00:25:33,864 --> 00:25:36,067
♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪
588
00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,770
♪ It keeps me
Crawling back again ♪
589
00:25:42,239 --> 00:25:44,174
Thank you! Thank you!
590
00:25:44,208 --> 00:25:46,911
We're gonna take a short
beer break, then a piss break.
591
00:25:46,943 --> 00:25:47,979
And another beer break.
592
00:25:52,682 --> 00:25:54,586
- Hey!
- Come here, baby.
593
00:25:54,618 --> 00:25:56,853
You killed it! Oh!
594
00:25:56,886 --> 00:25:58,155
- Hey, Mack.
- Yo!
595
00:25:58,189 --> 00:25:59,724
Somebody I want
you to meet, Yoni.
596
00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:00,858
- Hi.
- Oh, hey.
597
00:26:00,891 --> 00:26:02,192
- Yoni.
- Mack.
598
00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:03,828
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
599
00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:04,963
How do you guys
know each other?
600
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:06,097
We met in New York.
601
00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,066
When you went
three months ago?
602
00:26:08,098 --> 00:26:09,166
Like four and a half.
603
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,835
Wait, you guys want some beer?
604
00:26:10,867 --> 00:26:12,604
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Yes, thank you.
605
00:26:12,636 --> 00:26:14,938
She's cute.
Is her name really Yoni?
606
00:26:14,971 --> 00:26:16,307
- Yes.
- Like the...
607
00:26:16,339 --> 00:26:18,742
She's a performance artist.
608
00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:21,045
How long have you guys
been seeing each other?
609
00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:23,080
Kinda since New York, yeah.
610
00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:25,783
I don't wanna sound like
a chick or anything,
611
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:27,218
but if I was banging a girl...
612
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:28,853
Uh-huh. We're not just banging.
613
00:26:28,885 --> 00:26:30,087
Is it serious?
614
00:26:31,821 --> 00:26:34,191
- Maybe.
- Ah-ha-hoh!
615
00:26:34,224 --> 00:26:35,759
Congrats, dude, that's awesome.
616
00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:37,160
Thank you.
617
00:26:37,193 --> 00:26:39,297
Yeah. Is it odd
you didn't tell me?
618
00:26:39,329 --> 00:26:41,165
No.
619
00:26:43,733 --> 00:26:45,202
- Here.
- Thank you.
620
00:26:45,236 --> 00:26:46,971
- You're welcome.
- Thank you. Cheers.
621
00:26:47,003 --> 00:26:48,606
- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.
622
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:53,678
Could you
do the walk one more time?
623
00:26:53,711 --> 00:26:55,078
- What?
- We didn't get it.
624
00:26:55,112 --> 00:26:56,648
I thought this
was a reality show?
625
00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,016
It is, completely real.
626
00:26:58,048 --> 00:26:59,150
So, why do we need to...
627
00:26:59,182 --> 00:27:00,684
Could you do the walk up again?
628
00:27:00,718 --> 00:27:02,120
- Okay. Again.
- Thank you.
629
00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,868
There's my baby boy.
630
00:27:16,901 --> 00:27:18,769
What a nice dog.
631
00:27:20,136 --> 00:27:21,338
Don't mind him.
632
00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:23,106
His bite is worse
than his bark.
633
00:27:23,140 --> 00:27:25,176
You mean his bark
is worse than his bite?
634
00:27:25,209 --> 00:27:27,845
No, his bite is worse.
635
00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:31,314
So, how are we going to
organize the sleeping?
636
00:27:31,347 --> 00:27:35,185
We lie down, we shutting
our eyes and be sleeping.
637
00:27:35,219 --> 00:27:37,020
Svetlana,
you are amazingly beautiful.
638
00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:39,190
- Thank you.
- Can I pee somewhere?
639
00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:40,191
Okay.
640
00:27:40,223 --> 00:27:41,759
Thanks. Oh...
641
00:27:43,059 --> 00:27:45,929
Oh. Oh, uh...
642
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,232
Can I just get
a little bit of privacy?
643
00:27:49,266 --> 00:27:51,302
Why? Do you think
I never before seen peeing?
644
00:27:51,335 --> 00:27:53,203
No, it's not that. Of course...
645
00:27:53,237 --> 00:27:55,473
I've seen bigger ones
and littler ones.
646
00:27:55,506 --> 00:27:58,109
- Ah, thank you.
- You brush your teeth?
647
00:27:58,142 --> 00:28:00,978
Ah, I didn't get a brush.
I'll get one in the morning.
648
00:28:01,010 --> 00:28:02,279
Here.
649
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,248
- No, that's okay.
- I no sick.
650
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,084
It's not that. I just...
651
00:28:06,116 --> 00:28:07,851
- Don't be pussy.
- Okay.
652
00:28:18,461 --> 00:28:19,730
Good.
653
00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:29,107
- Hello.
- It's me. It's eleven o'clock.
654
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,508
- Wow!
- What?
655
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:32,844
Well, Jody never told me
you were so punctual.
656
00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:34,345
Ha-ha-ha.
657
00:28:34,377 --> 00:28:36,913
- Teasing me again.
- Yes, I am.
658
00:28:36,946 --> 00:28:38,415
Well, it's a bit late.
659
00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:40,451
- And?
- I've had a long day
660
00:28:40,483 --> 00:28:43,287
and I'm not my best
at this time of night.
661
00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:44,922
I think if we're
gonna get together,
662
00:28:44,954 --> 00:28:46,456
I should be at my best.
663
00:28:46,490 --> 00:28:48,893
Oh, so you're
saving the worst for the last?
664
00:28:48,925 --> 00:28:50,794
Well, yeah, you could say that.
665
00:28:50,827 --> 00:28:52,963
- So, you're bailing on me?
- No! Not... I'm not...
666
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,966
- You're jilting me?
- No, I'm not jilting...
667
00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:56,467
You're stiffing me.
You're ghosting me.
668
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,835
You're wimping out, whatever.
669
00:28:57,867 --> 00:28:59,202
It's late. I'm tired.
670
00:28:59,236 --> 00:29:01,205
Best I call you tomorrow
and make a date then.
671
00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:02,539
Well, don't call too early
672
00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:04,809
because you know,
I do have archery class.
673
00:29:04,842 --> 00:29:06,076
Ha!
674
00:29:07,211 --> 00:29:08,246
Was that a "ha"?
675
00:29:08,278 --> 00:29:10,013
Um, yeah, it was.
676
00:29:10,047 --> 00:29:12,383
Oh, no, listen.
Listen, very carefully.
677
00:29:12,415 --> 00:29:14,184
Find another "ha,"
put the two together,
678
00:29:14,218 --> 00:29:15,820
and you got yourself a laugh.
679
00:29:15,853 --> 00:29:18,923
Very funny. Yeah.
I'll practice that.
680
00:29:18,955 --> 00:29:20,357
Okay.
681
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,560
So, what time
should I call you?
682
00:29:22,593 --> 00:29:24,162
Oh, 10:36.
683
00:29:24,194 --> 00:29:27,063
Oh! I think I'm busy
at 10:36, but...
684
00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:29,901
I might have a gap at 10:37.
685
00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:31,269
Yeah. Ha!
686
00:29:35,605 --> 00:29:36,973
Olga!
687
00:29:37,007 --> 00:29:38,109
- Shit!
- What?
688
00:29:38,142 --> 00:29:40,044
- Quick!
- Olga!
689
00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:42,012
- Coming!
- Open the fucking door!
690
00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:44,481
What?
Why are you doing that?
691
00:29:44,515 --> 00:29:47,418
- Open the door!
- Coming! I'm coming!
692
00:29:47,451 --> 00:29:49,086
- Ow!
- Open the door!
693
00:29:49,118 --> 00:29:50,821
Coming!
694
00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:53,391
Olga, why do you
not open the freaking door?
695
00:29:53,423 --> 00:29:55,292
I was asleep, what you think?!
696
00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:56,795
Take a pee!
697
00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:01,131
Ugh! Ah!
698
00:30:05,001 --> 00:30:06,537
What's the problem?
Who is that?!
699
00:30:06,569 --> 00:30:09,139
Get under the bed! Very sorry!
700
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:14,011
Come here, my little pirogue.
701
00:30:14,044 --> 00:30:16,047
You're drunk. Go home.
702
00:30:16,079 --> 00:30:17,247
Ah, gimme kiss.
703
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,349
I have no kisses
for drunk people.
704
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,184
Kisses. Come on.
705
00:30:21,218 --> 00:30:22,452
We've been over this...
706
00:30:22,486 --> 00:30:24,021
Oh!
707
00:30:24,054 --> 00:30:25,857
Not open for business!
708
00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,391
Please,
gimme me big hug.
709
00:30:30,294 --> 00:30:31,929
You open.
710
00:30:31,961 --> 00:30:33,865
It's not even
open for discussion!
711
00:30:39,403 --> 00:30:41,873
It wasn't history that
called them the Minutemen,
712
00:30:41,905 --> 00:30:43,173
it was their wives.
713
00:30:45,108 --> 00:30:46,910
Are you a Yankees fan?
714
00:30:46,943 --> 00:30:50,147
What's the difference
between a Yankee and a baby?
715
00:30:51,515 --> 00:30:53,384
A baby stops crying
after a while.
716
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:54,584
Boom! Got him!
717
00:30:58,288 --> 00:31:01,025
Oh, Victor.
Victor, left, left, left, left.
718
00:31:08,365 --> 00:31:13,104
Um, sorry about that,
I thought I saw someone I knew.
719
00:31:13,136 --> 00:31:14,672
Well, actually,
I have a question.
720
00:31:14,704 --> 00:31:17,407
Have any of you seen, um...
721
00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:21,312
a girl with a glass slipper
tattoo on her neck?
722
00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:25,383
Asking because she actually
did one of my tours, and...
723
00:31:27,116 --> 00:31:30,355
She was real magical.
She had a wonderful smile.
724
00:31:31,555 --> 00:31:32,990
She's about this tall.
725
00:31:34,357 --> 00:31:37,028
She left this.
726
00:31:41,365 --> 00:31:44,402
All right, so, yes, if you
see the tavern over there,
727
00:31:44,434 --> 00:31:47,971
Betty Ross actually
drew the first image
728
00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,707
of the American flag
729
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:52,943
on a cocktail napkin. What!
730
00:31:57,114 --> 00:31:58,649
Yoo-hoo.
731
00:31:58,682 --> 00:32:00,183
Ah! What?
732
00:32:00,217 --> 00:32:01,719
Is safe.
733
00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:03,287
- He's gone?
- Yes.
734
00:32:03,319 --> 00:32:04,288
Come out.
735
00:32:06,222 --> 00:32:07,390
Who the hell was that?
736
00:32:07,423 --> 00:32:08,591
- Nobody.
- Nobody?
737
00:32:08,625 --> 00:32:10,528
- Nobody.
- Is that a wig?
738
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,562
- No, it's my hair.
- But you're a brunette.
739
00:32:12,596 --> 00:32:15,633
No, that is wig. That's
classier for the TV show.
740
00:32:15,665 --> 00:32:17,100
Ooh.
741
00:32:19,536 --> 00:32:21,005
- You have a roommate?
- No.
742
00:32:21,038 --> 00:32:22,306
You have to be at work today?
743
00:32:22,338 --> 00:32:23,273
No, maybe tonight, later.
744
00:32:23,307 --> 00:32:25,041
You have night court?
745
00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:27,278
No, I haven't been to that one
since last year.
746
00:32:27,310 --> 00:32:29,446
What kind of law
do you practice again?
747
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,481
No practice. I was arrested.
748
00:32:31,515 --> 00:32:33,184
- For what?
- Dancing.
749
00:32:33,217 --> 00:32:35,152
- You're a dancer?
- Yes.
750
00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,053
- Ballet?
- No.
751
00:32:37,086 --> 00:32:38,455
- Broadway?
- Exotic.
752
00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:40,156
- Stripper?
- Exotic.
753
00:32:40,190 --> 00:32:43,661
- So, you're not Svetlana?
- Just for the TV show.
754
00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:45,695
- And you're not Natasha?
- Just for the dancing.
755
00:32:45,729 --> 00:32:47,064
Of course, for the dancing.
756
00:32:47,096 --> 00:32:48,699
You're blonde, not a brunette.
757
00:32:48,731 --> 00:32:51,201
Not a lawyer, but a stripper,
and Zhopa is your pimp.
758
00:32:51,234 --> 00:32:53,436
Do not say that.
759
00:32:53,470 --> 00:32:55,373
I am a dancer, not a hooker.
760
00:32:55,405 --> 00:32:57,407
I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to figure it out.
761
00:32:57,441 --> 00:32:59,576
Zhopa is managing club
where I'm working.
762
00:32:59,609 --> 00:33:01,144
He's dangerous person.
763
00:33:01,178 --> 00:33:02,546
Zhopa mafia?
764
00:33:02,578 --> 00:33:03,780
No.
765
00:33:03,814 --> 00:33:05,115
Yes.
766
00:33:05,148 --> 00:33:06,683
Perfect.
767
00:33:06,717 --> 00:33:09,053
We can no let him
knowing about this.
768
00:33:09,086 --> 00:33:11,322
- Or he'll kill you?
- Us.
769
00:33:11,355 --> 00:33:13,223
Olga.
770
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,061
Olga, did you ever consider
the very slight possibility
771
00:33:17,094 --> 00:33:18,662
that he might find out about us
772
00:33:18,694 --> 00:33:21,031
when the show goes on
television all over America?!
773
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:23,167
- No.
- I'm getting out of here.
774
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,068
I am so screwed.
What were you thinking?
775
00:33:25,102 --> 00:33:26,670
I was thinking that
I winning the money
776
00:33:26,702 --> 00:33:29,272
and escaping away.
A million dollars.
777
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:32,809
Maybe you no needing it,
but I am! I am!
778
00:33:32,843 --> 00:33:34,745
I need it too, badly.
779
00:33:34,778 --> 00:33:36,747
I'm a gambler.
780
00:33:36,779 --> 00:33:41,285
I owe some bad guys some
very large amounts of money.
781
00:33:41,317 --> 00:33:43,253
And if I don't get it,
I'm dead.
782
00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:45,489
So, if I quit, they kill me.
783
00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:47,391
And if I stay,
your guy kills me.
784
00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:58,102
Yes?
785
00:33:58,134 --> 00:33:59,836
Hi.
786
00:33:59,869 --> 00:34:01,772
- Can I help you?
- I'm Jessie.
787
00:34:03,539 --> 00:34:06,676
I ran into you, yesterday,
out front of the church.
788
00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:08,179
Oh.
789
00:34:08,211 --> 00:34:09,813
Yes, how could I forget?
790
00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:11,782
Must be the concussion.
791
00:34:11,815 --> 00:34:14,418
Yeah, I am really sorry
about that. Are you okay?
792
00:34:14,451 --> 00:34:16,320
Still alive.
793
00:34:16,353 --> 00:34:18,155
Hanging on by my fingernails.
794
00:34:20,157 --> 00:34:23,294
So, I'm the new planner
for Liz and Robert's wedding.
795
00:34:23,327 --> 00:34:24,695
What?
796
00:34:24,728 --> 00:34:25,863
You?!
797
00:34:25,896 --> 00:34:28,164
I did tell them
you should do it.
798
00:34:28,197 --> 00:34:30,534
Yeah, well, I should.
But I'm not.
799
00:34:32,168 --> 00:34:35,138
So, how can I help you?
800
00:34:35,172 --> 00:34:38,175
Well, I'm very glad to hear
there's no hard feelings.
801
00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:39,643
I didn't say that.
802
00:34:42,813 --> 00:34:46,650
So, I ran into
a couple of slight hiccups
803
00:34:46,682 --> 00:34:48,853
with your floor plan
for the reception.
804
00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:51,387
No worries. I redrew it.
805
00:34:51,420 --> 00:34:53,156
Why? It's perfect.
806
00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:55,559
Perfect, except,
807
00:34:55,592 --> 00:34:59,130
there wasn't room for the band.
808
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,831
Well, there is no band.
809
00:35:00,864 --> 00:35:02,333
There's a band.
810
00:35:02,365 --> 00:35:05,235
No, my dear.
811
00:35:05,268 --> 00:35:08,705
There is not a band,
there's a string quartet.
812
00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:10,574
- Oh.
- There, in the corner.
813
00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:13,744
Not anymore, it moved to
the church for the ceremony.
814
00:35:13,777 --> 00:35:15,278
Because?
815
00:35:15,311 --> 00:35:17,647
Because there's a band,
816
00:35:17,681 --> 00:35:20,150
per the bride,
for the reception.
817
00:35:20,184 --> 00:35:21,485
It's on a big stage,
818
00:35:21,518 --> 00:35:23,353
and there was
no room for the stage.
819
00:35:23,387 --> 00:35:25,189
So, the answer
was really simple.
820
00:35:25,222 --> 00:35:27,391
I just shifted the tables,
slid the bar
821
00:35:27,423 --> 00:35:29,192
and finally,
got rid of that big thingy.
822
00:35:30,494 --> 00:35:34,164
That big thingy
is the centerpiece table.
823
00:35:35,699 --> 00:35:37,501
Right. It was blocking
everybody's view. So...
824
00:35:37,534 --> 00:35:39,804
No, no, no,
that is my signature.
825
00:35:43,206 --> 00:35:45,542
What if we move it
to the entrance
826
00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:47,177
so that everyone sees it
as they come in?
827
00:35:47,210 --> 00:35:50,513
My dear, listen.
Since this is your first,
828
00:35:50,547 --> 00:35:52,449
and surely,
your last opportunity
829
00:35:52,481 --> 00:35:53,951
to be a wedding planner,
830
00:35:53,983 --> 00:35:56,487
why don't you keep your
amateur ideas to yourself
831
00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:58,355
and let the professionals
do it?
832
00:35:58,387 --> 00:36:01,726
The layout is perfect.
We're not gonna change anything.
833
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,295
We'll have no stage
834
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,432
and the centerpiece will stay
exactly where it should be,
835
00:36:08,465 --> 00:36:09,700
in... the... center.
836
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,474
Well, I just came from them,
and this is what they want.
837
00:36:17,507 --> 00:36:20,344
Yeah.
838
00:36:20,376 --> 00:36:22,512
You just run along,
I'll talk to Robert.
839
00:36:23,947 --> 00:36:27,318
Okay. I know you are
a big famous deal,
840
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,852
and I am new at this.
841
00:36:28,885 --> 00:36:30,821
However,
this wedding is not about me.
842
00:36:30,853 --> 00:36:32,388
It's certainly not about you.
843
00:36:32,422 --> 00:36:34,358
Our job here, is to
give the bride and groom
844
00:36:34,391 --> 00:36:36,626
what they truly want.
And if what they truly want
845
00:36:36,659 --> 00:36:39,862
is a Buddhist monk on a trapeze
singing "Stairway to Heaven,"
846
00:36:39,896 --> 00:36:42,666
then that is what they
should get. It's their day.
847
00:36:42,699 --> 00:36:45,501
- Now, don't get hysterical.
- Really?!
848
00:36:45,534 --> 00:36:47,337
Hysterical?
849
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:49,506
That's what this looks like
to you, is hysterical?
850
00:36:49,539 --> 00:36:50,641
Why? Because I'm a girl?
851
00:36:53,577 --> 00:36:56,380
I don't get hysterical
852
00:36:56,413 --> 00:36:59,617
and I don't lose, ever.
853
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:01,652
So...
854
00:37:01,684 --> 00:37:03,519
I'm gonna make this work.
855
00:37:03,552 --> 00:37:05,556
If you would like
to work with me on it,
856
00:37:05,588 --> 00:37:08,858
that would be great, otherwise,
it's gonna be so much easier
857
00:37:08,891 --> 00:37:11,861
now that I have figured
out precisely where
858
00:37:11,894 --> 00:37:13,764
you can shove your centerpiece.
859
00:37:17,833 --> 00:37:18,835
It opens in.
860
00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:22,707
That was my second option.
861
00:37:25,809 --> 00:37:28,512
Wait! Wait.
862
00:37:30,947 --> 00:37:32,717
Let me have another look
at your plan.
863
00:37:45,094 --> 00:37:47,330
Give it up. Give it up.
864
00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:55,972
♪ The sign said danger
Beware of thin ice ♪
865
00:37:56,005 --> 00:38:00,009
♪ So, I walked out
And closed my eyes ♪
866
00:38:00,043 --> 00:38:03,347
♪ Safe and warm
On the shoreline ♪
867
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:07,952
♪ So, why did I
Walk out on thin ice? ♪
868
00:38:09,753 --> 00:38:11,856
♪ Is that cracking I hear? ♪
869
00:38:13,690 --> 00:38:16,960
♪ Is it drowning I fear?... ♪
870
00:38:18,695 --> 00:38:20,731
Make a right turn now.
871
00:38:20,764 --> 00:38:22,700
Good. Good.
872
00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:25,702
I've got the door for you.
873
00:38:25,735 --> 00:38:28,338
Oh, sorry.
Thank you so much. Oh!
874
00:38:28,371 --> 00:38:32,041
♪ I could really get killed ♪
875
00:38:32,074 --> 00:38:36,012
♪ I'm almost certain
That I'll fall through ♪
876
00:38:36,045 --> 00:38:39,916
Oh! Oh, my! I... Oh.
877
00:38:41,885 --> 00:38:44,355
Oh, my...
878
00:38:44,387 --> 00:38:47,458
Ah. So.
879
00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:49,525
Lawrence! Oh, God.
Thank goodness.
880
00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:52,028
Thank God, at least
I wrecked the right office.
881
00:38:52,061 --> 00:38:54,097
It's only a couple of lamps.
882
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:55,833
-Yeah, I... Oh!
883
00:38:55,865 --> 00:38:57,735
Oh! Ah.
884
00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,802
- And a painting.
- You'd think that Teddy and I
885
00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,739
would be better at this,
but oh, no, we just...
886
00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:05,108
we just keep
banging into things.
887
00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:06,844
But honestly,
I will pay for this.
888
00:39:06,876 --> 00:39:08,679
No, no, no. Nothing's broken.
889
00:39:08,711 --> 00:39:11,614
Too many lamps anyway.
890
00:39:11,648 --> 00:39:14,084
So, I wasn't expecting you.
What are you...
891
00:39:14,117 --> 00:39:16,653
Well, 10:37, it came and went.
892
00:39:16,686 --> 00:39:18,622
And then 10:38. So,
you know what I did?
893
00:39:18,655 --> 00:39:19,957
I brought us lunch.
894
00:39:19,989 --> 00:39:23,760
Oh, God! I was
supposed to call you.
895
00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:25,562
- That's right. You forgot.
- I'm...
896
00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,865
I never forget anything.
897
00:39:28,898 --> 00:39:31,567
Well, I don't think you can
ever say that again, can you?
898
00:39:31,601 --> 00:39:34,104
I'm so angry at myself.
899
00:39:34,137 --> 00:39:36,640
Isn't that my role
as the victim, here?
900
00:39:36,672 --> 00:39:39,642
Yes, well, yeah. Yes,
you should be angry, too.
901
00:39:39,675 --> 00:39:43,012
I was. But then,
I did destroy your office,
902
00:39:43,045 --> 00:39:45,014
so, we're even.
903
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:48,718
Yes.
Suppose we are.
904
00:39:48,751 --> 00:39:51,121
So, we could either,
I don't know, eat here
905
00:39:51,153 --> 00:39:53,123
or we could eat
outside in the park?
906
00:39:53,155 --> 00:39:59,028
Well, I think it might
be safer in the park.
907
00:39:59,061 --> 00:40:01,431
You're funny.
908
00:40:05,534 --> 00:40:06,836
What is this?
909
00:40:06,869 --> 00:40:08,838
Hang on. You guys wait outside.
910
00:40:08,871 --> 00:40:10,106
Can't do that.
911
00:40:10,139 --> 00:40:12,141
I got a shrink
appointment here.
912
00:40:12,175 --> 00:40:14,044
- Could you just wait outside?
- Ah, no.
913
00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:17,080
Look, this is private,
personal.
914
00:40:17,112 --> 00:40:18,815
And my doctor is very strict.
915
00:40:18,849 --> 00:40:20,751
If I miss my appointment,
I'll lose my slot.
916
00:40:20,784 --> 00:40:22,552
- Just give me an hour.
- No.
917
00:40:22,585 --> 00:40:23,753
- Are you kidding me?
- No.
918
00:40:23,786 --> 00:40:25,621
This contract that you signed,
919
00:40:25,655 --> 00:40:28,057
gives us complete and total
24-hour access to your life
920
00:40:28,090 --> 00:40:29,559
for the duration of the show.
921
00:40:29,592 --> 00:40:31,795
If, at any point,
you deny us that access,
922
00:40:31,827 --> 00:40:33,463
I have the right,
and the obligation,
923
00:40:33,496 --> 00:40:34,831
to set off the alarm,
924
00:40:34,864 --> 00:40:36,899
thereby terminating
your participation
925
00:40:36,932 --> 00:40:38,869
in any and all future episodes
of Crash Couples.
926
00:40:38,902 --> 00:40:42,440
Okay. Good.
Great, fine. Let's go.
927
00:40:45,909 --> 00:40:47,677
I can explain.
928
00:40:47,710 --> 00:40:49,212
- Hello... What's this?
- I can explain.
929
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,215
Have you forgotten about
our boundary rules?
930
00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:53,250
- And you, who are you, sir?
- We're not here.
931
00:40:53,282 --> 00:40:54,817
- Hiya.
- This is highly irregular.
932
00:40:54,851 --> 00:40:56,053
Dr. Offerman, they're fine.
933
00:40:56,085 --> 00:40:57,620
I'm involved in this project,
934
00:40:57,653 --> 00:40:59,121
so, normal session.
935
00:40:59,155 --> 00:41:00,724
No secrets. Please.
Let's just get going.
936
00:41:00,757 --> 00:41:02,693
No secrets. Fine.
937
00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:06,195
So, last week
was clearly revealing.
938
00:41:06,228 --> 00:41:08,731
- How much you pay him?
- Seven hundred. Can we...
939
00:41:08,764 --> 00:41:10,166
- A month?
- An hour.
940
00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:12,101
- Fifty minutes, actually.
- What? That's crazy!
941
00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,937
My girlfriend hooker
gets only three-fifty,
942
00:41:13,969 --> 00:41:15,805
and she will screw you
for the whole hour!
943
00:41:15,838 --> 00:41:17,840
This is a bad idea.
Doctor, I'll see you next week.
944
00:41:17,873 --> 00:41:19,242
Ah, textbook avoidance.
945
00:41:19,275 --> 00:41:21,110
Clearly, you're
resisting examining
946
00:41:21,143 --> 00:41:24,146
why you chose to bring a woman
of this type here, today.
947
00:41:24,179 --> 00:41:26,849
- What you mean by that?
- We've been exploring Jimmy's
948
00:41:26,882 --> 00:41:28,918
- sexuality issues.
- This is not...
949
00:41:28,952 --> 00:41:32,256
Sit, Jimmy. He doesn't
having any issues.
950
00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:34,091
Oh, I beg to differ.
951
00:41:34,123 --> 00:41:35,992
There are numerous signs
pointing to
952
00:41:36,025 --> 00:41:38,094
Jimmy's desire
to explore his feminine side.
953
00:41:38,128 --> 00:41:41,532
What?! Now, I'm thinking that
you're the mental case here.
954
00:41:41,565 --> 00:41:44,034
You are hardly qualified.
955
00:41:44,067 --> 00:41:45,869
I'm no qualified,
I am stripper.
956
00:41:45,902 --> 00:41:47,771
I can tell if guy
is straight or homo,
957
00:41:47,804 --> 00:41:49,572
when he pull into
the parking lot.
958
00:41:49,606 --> 00:41:51,542
- Please, let's just...
- I know these things.
959
00:41:51,574 --> 00:41:53,242
Now, let's get out of here.
960
00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:56,812
You might examining why you
sucking so hard on that pipe?
961
00:41:56,846 --> 00:41:59,916
And don't try to
charging Jimmy for this hour.
962
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,690
Wow. You stood up for me.
963
00:42:06,722 --> 00:42:10,059
Of course. You're a good man.
He's Doctor Bullshit.
964
00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:11,795
No one ever stands up for me.
965
00:42:11,827 --> 00:42:13,697
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
966
00:42:13,730 --> 00:42:16,800
Last night, when
you and that guy were
967
00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:20,070
- bouncing a lot, were you...
- Oh. Were we doing it?
968
00:42:20,103 --> 00:42:22,306
No, never. He can no do it.
969
00:42:22,338 --> 00:42:25,107
He just hugging and breathing
a lot and falling a-sleeping.
970
00:42:25,141 --> 00:42:28,110
- Oh, okay. Good.
- Why?
971
00:42:28,143 --> 00:42:30,747
Nothing. I just... Nothing.
972
00:42:37,653 --> 00:42:39,088
- Hey, boss.
- Yeah?
973
00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,923
Olga.
974
00:42:40,956 --> 00:42:42,159
Stop!
975
00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,195
Oh! Oh, dammit.
976
00:42:45,228 --> 00:42:46,630
- What?
- Zhopa.
977
00:42:46,663 --> 00:42:48,032
- What's going on?
- Ah. Oh!
978
00:42:49,231 --> 00:42:51,168
- Oh!
- What the fuck is this?
979
00:42:51,201 --> 00:42:53,137
- I can explain!
- Get in the car!
980
00:42:54,371 --> 00:42:55,771
What is this?
981
00:42:55,804 --> 00:42:58,641
- I-I-I-I...
- Shut up! Get in the car!
982
00:42:58,675 --> 00:43:01,211
- Stop that filming!
- We're not actually here.
983
00:43:05,148 --> 00:43:06,717
Let's go!
984
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:08,619
You didn't cut the camera,
did you?
985
00:43:08,652 --> 00:43:10,320
- No way!
- Great. Let's follow 'em.
986
00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,835
You're quiet. You all right?
987
00:43:24,867 --> 00:43:27,336
Oh, yes. I'm just enjoying...
988
00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,672
The view.
989
00:43:29,706 --> 00:43:32,709
Whoa. You're sure forgetful.
990
00:43:32,742 --> 00:43:34,277
And you're funny.
991
00:43:34,309 --> 00:43:36,012
You're changing.
992
00:43:36,045 --> 00:43:38,414
Oh, no-no-no, don't say that.
I hate change.
993
00:43:38,447 --> 00:43:40,083
Change is horrible.
994
00:43:40,115 --> 00:43:42,085
I don't know why
everybody loves change.
995
00:43:43,820 --> 00:43:45,356
How so? I don't understand?
996
00:43:46,956 --> 00:43:50,827
I mean, everything.
Take the telephone.
997
00:43:50,860 --> 00:43:52,963
A hundred years ago,
Alexander Graham Bell
998
00:43:52,996 --> 00:43:55,932
invented it and it worked fine
for all those years.
999
00:43:55,965 --> 00:43:57,300
- You pick it up,
- Yeah.
1000
00:43:57,333 --> 00:44:00,436
and you talk to whoever.
You make a date.
1001
00:44:00,469 --> 00:44:02,438
- You go to the movies, right?
- Uh-huh.
1002
00:44:02,472 --> 00:44:04,807
- Now...
- Uh-huh, okay.
1003
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,110
Some bright spark has
invented the cell phone.
1004
00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:10,312
So, everybody,
instead of watching the movie,
1005
00:44:10,346 --> 00:44:13,650
they're calling and texting
and...
1006
00:44:15,284 --> 00:44:16,886
- Well...
- How can that...
1007
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,822
How can that be better,
that change, huh?
1008
00:44:18,855 --> 00:44:22,159
Well, that's fine, but too
much order and routine
1009
00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:23,927
and, I don't know, it's like,
1010
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,063
you lose the joy of
chaos and randomness.
1011
00:44:27,097 --> 00:44:28,932
I would have thought
you hated surprises.
1012
00:44:28,965 --> 00:44:30,767
Quite the opposite.
You know what?
1013
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:35,238
They make me feel... alive.
1014
00:44:35,271 --> 00:44:36,373
I love it.
1015
00:44:42,311 --> 00:44:43,846
Are you taking my photograph?
1016
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,015
I am.
1017
00:44:45,047 --> 00:44:46,816
Oh, God.
1018
00:44:46,849 --> 00:44:48,250
Why?
1019
00:44:48,284 --> 00:44:50,753
Because I'm a photographer.
1020
00:44:50,786 --> 00:44:53,155
How can
you see what you're taking?
1021
00:44:53,188 --> 00:44:55,759
Well, of course, I don't.
1022
00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:57,760
I shoot what I hear.
1023
00:45:00,028 --> 00:45:01,898
- What you hear?
- Yeah.
1024
00:45:01,931 --> 00:45:03,900
You see, I wasn't always blind.
1025
00:45:05,201 --> 00:45:07,503
I was diagnosed
when I was twenty,
1026
00:45:07,536 --> 00:45:09,438
with Neuromyelitis Optica.
1027
00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:12,409
And then, over
the next seven years, my,
1028
00:45:12,442 --> 00:45:17,447
well, my vision deteriorated
to the point where now,
1029
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,318
I can only,
very vaguely, make out
1030
00:45:21,351 --> 00:45:24,454
traces of color and light.
1031
00:45:24,487 --> 00:45:26,789
So, how do you
see the photographs?
1032
00:45:26,822 --> 00:45:29,091
My friend describes
each one to me.
1033
00:45:29,125 --> 00:45:31,260
And then I choose one.
1034
00:45:31,293 --> 00:45:34,864
And then I record what I heard
1035
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,901
and how I felt
the moment I took it.
1036
00:45:37,934 --> 00:45:39,169
- Hm.
- Mm-hmm.
1037
00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:40,837
You're extraordinary.
1038
00:45:40,869 --> 00:45:42,405
Then the viewer walks up,
1039
00:45:44,007 --> 00:45:46,876
presses play, and gets to
experience the moment
1040
00:45:46,909 --> 00:45:49,178
in the different ways
we both do.
1041
00:45:52,882 --> 00:45:54,050
Like you and I, here?
1042
00:45:55,217 --> 00:45:57,353
Yeah. Yeah.
1043
00:45:59,222 --> 00:46:03,527
Like you and I, here.
1044
00:46:03,559 --> 00:46:07,130
♪ Maybe this
time Love is true ♪
1045
00:46:07,163 --> 00:46:10,134
♪ I can skate across with you ♪
1046
00:46:12,168 --> 00:46:17,907
♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪
1047
00:46:20,076 --> 00:46:26,016
♪ Maybe this thin ice
Is thick enough for two ♪
1048
00:46:27,951 --> 00:46:31,086
This is the craziest thing
that I am hearing.
1049
00:46:31,119 --> 00:46:34,523
And you were there the night
that I was visiting her?
1050
00:46:34,556 --> 00:46:37,493
No. I mean, yeah. I had to.
1051
00:46:37,527 --> 00:46:38,994
I didn't hear anything.
1052
00:46:39,027 --> 00:46:41,163
You thinking I am stupid?
1053
00:46:41,197 --> 00:46:43,099
I was under the bed,
it was muffled.
1054
00:46:43,132 --> 00:46:44,568
Take off the chains, kill him.
1055
00:46:44,601 --> 00:46:46,369
No! You can no do this!
1056
00:46:46,402 --> 00:46:48,204
Get off, or I kill you, too.
1057
00:46:48,237 --> 00:46:50,072
No! This is a good man.
1058
00:46:50,106 --> 00:46:52,375
- Are you loving him?
- No.
1059
00:46:52,407 --> 00:46:55,211
- Are you loving me?
- Nyet! Never!
1060
00:46:55,244 --> 00:46:56,846
Kill them both.
1061
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:01,351
Zhopa! We will losing
one million dollars.
1062
00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:03,887
What? Say this again.
1063
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,523
The prize is one million
for the winning.
1064
00:47:06,556 --> 00:47:08,023
You heard of this show?
1065
00:47:08,056 --> 00:47:10,426
Da. On TBS,
Monday nights at ten.
1066
00:47:10,460 --> 00:47:13,128
Funny show. Is Conan's lead-in.
1067
00:47:13,161 --> 00:47:14,297
Do I kill him?
1068
00:47:14,329 --> 00:47:15,865
No.
1069
00:47:15,898 --> 00:47:18,268
We are partners now.
1070
00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:21,438
I am getting sixty percent
of yours monies,
1071
00:47:21,471 --> 00:47:23,072
and eighty percent of yours.
1072
00:47:23,106 --> 00:47:24,875
Eighty? What?
That's a terrible deal!
1073
00:47:24,907 --> 00:47:26,610
You not dying, and making
a hundred thousand dollars
1074
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:28,345
is great deal.
1075
00:47:28,378 --> 00:47:30,413
Well, you've got
a gun to my head. Literally.
1076
00:47:30,445 --> 00:47:31,614
So, I agree.
1077
00:47:31,648 --> 00:47:33,383
Smart man. Now,
1078
00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:35,652
I am figuring out how
we are winning this contest.
1079
00:47:35,684 --> 00:47:38,087
- Go to work.
- What? Stripping?
1080
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:39,456
With this?
1081
00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:41,458
Is kinky. You make more monies.
1082
00:47:41,490 --> 00:47:43,592
Leave me alone.
1083
00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:45,562
These modified World War II
1084
00:47:45,594 --> 00:47:47,230
amphibious vehicles
1085
00:47:47,262 --> 00:47:49,365
are a delightful must
for all tourists.
1086
00:47:49,398 --> 00:47:51,634
The past and present
of American history
1087
00:47:51,668 --> 00:47:55,972
are brought to life by
conductors like Captain Richie.
1088
00:47:56,005 --> 00:47:58,340
Interesting fact, because
part of the Boston Harbor
1089
00:47:58,373 --> 00:48:00,643
has been filled in,
the actual site
1090
00:48:00,677 --> 00:48:04,213
of the Boston Tea Party
is right over there.
1091
00:48:04,246 --> 00:48:06,015
And now it's a Starbucks.
1092
00:48:07,416 --> 00:48:09,119
Captain Richie
has been giving
1093
00:48:09,152 --> 00:48:12,389
hysterical historical tours
for over ten years.
1094
00:48:12,422 --> 00:48:15,157
My jokes are older than
most of these buildings.
1095
00:48:15,190 --> 00:48:18,427
So, after all these years
of making people happy,
1096
00:48:18,460 --> 00:48:21,964
Richie fell in love
with one of his passengers.
1097
00:48:21,998 --> 00:48:24,701
Instant lightning bolt love.
1098
00:48:24,733 --> 00:48:26,469
But there's a problem.
1099
00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:30,572
I don't know
who or where she is.
1100
00:48:30,606 --> 00:48:33,443
Since they met, he's been
searching for his Cinderella.
1101
00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:35,412
The only clue is
that she has a tattoo
1102
00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,647
of a glass slipper
on her neck.
1103
00:48:37,679 --> 00:48:39,248
More than likely,
she's a tourist
1104
00:48:39,282 --> 00:48:41,050
who's gone back home.
1105
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:44,119
Never knowing that her
true love could be right here.
1106
00:48:44,152 --> 00:48:48,190
Hmm. Ah. That's so sad.
1107
00:48:48,224 --> 00:48:51,061
Maybe not, because we're
romantics, here at Seven.
1108
00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:53,163
We love lovers.
1109
00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:55,264
So, this Saturday,
we're riding with Ritchie
1110
00:48:55,297 --> 00:48:57,599
to the Nashua Park steps
on the Charles River.
1111
00:48:57,632 --> 00:49:00,736
So, if you're Cinderella,
or if you know her,
1112
00:49:00,769 --> 00:49:03,139
please come join us
at five o'clock
1113
00:49:03,172 --> 00:49:05,407
to meet your Prince Charming.
1114
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,976
Thanks, Gail.
1115
00:49:07,010 --> 00:49:09,079
And in baseball,
the Sox had a big day.
1116
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:11,114
Billy Gersh is
here with highlights
1117
00:49:11,146 --> 00:49:14,183
♪ I punch in this morning
And checkin' my check ♪
1118
00:49:14,217 --> 00:49:16,186
♪ Short again ♪
1119
00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:17,686
♪ Man, what the heck? ♪
1120
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,289
♪ They got me
Working overtime ♪
1121
00:49:20,322 --> 00:49:22,192
♪ Every Saturday ♪
1122
00:49:22,224 --> 00:49:24,027
♪ That's wrong
That's screwed up ♪
1123
00:49:24,059 --> 00:49:26,128
♪ Someone's gotta pay ♪
1124
00:49:26,161 --> 00:49:30,065
♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪
1125
00:49:30,099 --> 00:49:33,470
♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me ♪
1126
00:49:35,237 --> 00:49:36,772
- What do you think?
- They're great!
1127
00:49:36,806 --> 00:49:38,675
Right? Best bar band in town.
1128
00:49:38,708 --> 00:49:40,577
Love 'em!
1129
00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:44,581
♪ Let me tell you, Boss
How it's gonna be ♪
1130
00:49:44,614 --> 00:49:48,617
♪ Workin' for you
Ain't workin' for me! ♪
1131
00:49:51,653 --> 00:49:55,157
Thank you, thank you, guys.
Be back in ten.
1132
00:49:55,190 --> 00:49:56,459
More like 15.
1133
00:49:57,726 --> 00:50:00,763
- Hey, Hi. I'm Jessie.
- Mack.
1134
00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,032
I've been watching
you guys for years.
1135
00:50:03,065 --> 00:50:04,768
- I love the band.
- Thank you. Thank you.
1136
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,536
My friend, Liz,
at the bar over there,
1137
00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:09,472
is getting married soon,
1138
00:50:09,505 --> 00:50:12,642
and we were hoping to hire
you guys to play the wedding.
1139
00:50:12,675 --> 00:50:14,344
Oh, we don't play weddings.
1140
00:50:14,376 --> 00:50:16,779
Well, it's really not
a wedding, per se.
1141
00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:20,150
It's crazy party
after a wedding.
1142
00:50:20,182 --> 00:50:21,751
We don't do
wedding parties, either.
1143
00:50:21,784 --> 00:50:23,653
He's just saying that
because he knows
1144
00:50:23,686 --> 00:50:25,822
he looks like a dork
in a powder blue tuxedo.
1145
00:50:25,855 --> 00:50:28,425
We just don't play wedding
songs like "Celebration."
1146
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:31,594
Cool, I get why weddings
could seem beneath you
1147
00:50:31,626 --> 00:50:33,762
- or cheesy or Tom Jones-y.
- Mm-hmm.
1148
00:50:33,795 --> 00:50:36,265
But this one is very different.
1149
00:50:36,298 --> 00:50:38,101
Uh-huh. Why?
1150
00:50:38,134 --> 00:50:39,802
Well, firstly,
it's gonna be like,
1151
00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:43,372
"Oh, my God!
Last night was crazy!
1152
00:50:43,405 --> 00:50:45,507
How did I wake up in Canada?"
1153
00:50:45,541 --> 00:50:47,277
"Where did I
get this alligator?"
1154
00:50:47,309 --> 00:50:49,078
"The only thing I remember
1155
00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:50,512
is that band was amaze-balls."
1156
00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:53,148
And secondly,
while I personally love
1157
00:50:53,181 --> 00:50:56,452
the song "Celebration",
you don't have to play it.
1158
00:50:56,485 --> 00:50:58,554
Listen, it's...
1159
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,825
it is my first gig
as a wedding planner.
1160
00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:03,293
So, it has to be perfect.
1161
00:51:03,326 --> 00:51:05,461
And your band
is beyond perfect.
1162
00:51:05,494 --> 00:51:07,864
So, you guys, pretty much,
have to do it
1163
00:51:07,896 --> 00:51:11,500
under the universal laws
of love and romance.
1164
00:51:11,534 --> 00:51:13,269
Universal law.
1165
00:51:13,302 --> 00:51:15,105
- Yeah.
- Okay, uh...
1166
00:51:15,137 --> 00:51:16,273
Hold on.
1167
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,242
I will arm wrestle you
for a yes.
1168
00:51:20,275 --> 00:51:21,844
You'll what?
1169
00:51:21,878 --> 00:51:23,546
You're bigger than me, come on.
1170
00:51:23,579 --> 00:51:26,382
Look at those biceps.
Seriously.
1171
00:51:26,414 --> 00:51:29,219
I win, I get a yes.
You pin me, I walk.
1172
00:51:29,251 --> 00:51:30,586
Let you enjoy your evening.
1173
00:51:30,619 --> 00:51:32,255
I can't say yes
without my partner
1174
00:51:32,288 --> 00:51:34,289
Talk to your partner...
What about your mommy?
1175
00:51:34,322 --> 00:51:35,558
Come on, you big baby.
1176
00:51:37,193 --> 00:51:39,362
All right. All right.
1177
00:51:39,394 --> 00:51:41,364
Okay.
1178
00:51:41,396 --> 00:51:43,833
One, two, three, go!
1179
00:51:43,865 --> 00:51:45,467
Damn, you're strong.
1180
00:51:45,501 --> 00:51:46,803
I really need a yes.
1181
00:51:46,835 --> 00:51:49,304
I really wanna
give you that yes, but...
1182
00:51:49,338 --> 00:51:50,840
You don't have a choice.
1183
00:51:53,742 --> 00:51:56,378
Ah! Whoo!
1184
00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:02,184
All right. No,
I made a bet and I lost it.
1185
00:52:02,217 --> 00:52:04,353
Listen, this is my guitar arm.
1186
00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:06,155
It had superpowers.
It's not fair.
1187
00:52:06,188 --> 00:52:07,490
Thank you for your
consideration
1188
00:52:09,425 --> 00:52:10,894
- Did you get 'em?
- Not happening.
1189
00:52:10,927 --> 00:52:12,495
It's okay, we'll get
somebody better.
1190
00:52:12,527 --> 00:52:14,496
- I thought they were the best.
- They are.
1191
00:52:14,530 --> 00:52:16,399
I told you not to hire me.
1192
00:52:16,431 --> 00:52:19,535
Well, here, these were
to celebrate our new band,
1193
00:52:19,568 --> 00:52:22,237
but now we'll just have to
celebrate your firing. Hmm.
1194
00:52:22,271 --> 00:52:23,907
Oh, great.
Cheers to that.
1195
00:52:26,375 --> 00:52:29,378
Come on. Let's
go find a new band.
1196
00:52:29,411 --> 00:52:31,713
Ah, I guess.
I just...
1197
00:52:31,746 --> 00:52:35,652
I don't know a single musician
that would take that gig, so...
1198
00:52:35,684 --> 00:52:37,219
Look, if it's
that big of a deal,
1199
00:52:37,253 --> 00:52:38,888
it could be good for the band.
1200
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,557
- We don't do weddings.
- Yeah, but this is different.
1201
00:52:41,590 --> 00:52:43,192
Oh, my God. Mack,
1202
00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:45,561
at a wedding, no one
cares who the band is.
1203
00:52:45,594 --> 00:52:48,197
Everyone's drunk
and they wanna dance.
1204
00:52:48,231 --> 00:52:50,300
And they're gonna
ask for "Celebration"
1205
00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:51,834
until you play it.
1206
00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:54,571
And at that moment,
you're officially over.
1207
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,641
If you could just
give us one second?
1208
00:53:00,610 --> 00:53:02,478
We've played together
since high school.
1209
00:53:02,510 --> 00:53:03,813
That's right.
1210
00:53:03,846 --> 00:53:05,514
Make all our decisions,
1211
00:53:05,547 --> 00:53:06,982
you and me, just the two of us.
1212
00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:08,617
She makes a good point,
all right?
1213
00:53:08,650 --> 00:53:10,385
Don't get all
bent out of shape.
1214
00:53:10,418 --> 00:53:11,887
I'm not, I'm not.
I just don't wanna
1215
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,822
miss out on an opportunity,
you know?
1216
00:53:13,856 --> 00:53:16,292
We're kind of stuck here.
we could use the money.
1217
00:53:16,324 --> 00:53:18,293
- That's...
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1218
00:53:18,327 --> 00:53:20,897
You're not doing this for that
chick in there though, right?
1219
00:53:20,929 --> 00:53:21,931
No.
1220
00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:26,501
Maybe.
1221
00:53:26,534 --> 00:53:28,971
All right. Cool.
1222
00:53:30,672 --> 00:53:32,407
And look, we're
not gonna play anything
1223
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,810
from the "Kool and the Gang"
catalog. Relax, okay?
1224
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:37,647
Jessie.
1225
00:53:45,721 --> 00:53:46,889
This is Jessie.
1226
00:53:46,922 --> 00:53:48,490
Hey-hey, it's Mack.
1227
00:53:48,523 --> 00:53:50,425
Sorry, uh, Mack?
1228
00:53:50,458 --> 00:53:52,728
Mack, from the band?
1229
00:53:52,762 --> 00:53:56,365
Oh! Hi. Hi. Sorry.
1230
00:53:56,398 --> 00:53:59,301
- Is this a bad time?
- Yeah, kinda, I...
1231
00:53:59,335 --> 00:54:00,403
Well, we're in.
1232
00:54:00,436 --> 00:54:01,838
In?
1233
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,338
The wedding.
1234
00:54:03,371 --> 00:54:04,640
Wait, really?
1235
00:54:04,673 --> 00:54:06,708
I mean, that... I... Wow!
1236
00:54:06,742 --> 00:54:09,746
I thought, you know,
you won, I lost, and...
1237
00:54:09,778 --> 00:54:12,681
You know, only six-year-olds
make career choices
1238
00:54:12,715 --> 00:54:14,717
based on arm-wrestling matches.
1239
00:54:14,750 --> 00:54:17,420
Are you
calling me a six-year-old?
1240
00:54:17,452 --> 00:54:20,690
Yeah. But you gotta pay
in dollars, not Play-Doh.
1241
00:54:20,722 --> 00:54:22,824
Okay.
You drive a hard bargain,
1242
00:54:22,858 --> 00:54:24,394
but I can arrange that.
1243
00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,429
This is fantastic.
Mack, thank you so much!
1244
00:54:26,461 --> 00:54:27,929
You are saving my life.
Seriously.
1245
00:54:27,963 --> 00:54:29,065
I love you for this.
1246
00:54:29,097 --> 00:54:31,034
I have that effect on people.
1247
00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:34,771
Good to know. Well, great.
I'll text you the details then.
1248
00:54:34,804 --> 00:54:37,273
- All right. Bye.
- Bye.
1249
00:54:40,009 --> 00:54:44,713
Yes! Yes!
1250
00:54:49,784 --> 00:54:51,553
Lots of drama this week.
1251
00:54:51,586 --> 00:54:53,588
Two couples have
already crashed and burned.
1252
00:54:53,621 --> 00:54:56,625
The first one seems to be
kosher versus the kebab.
1253
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:06,469
And they're done.
1254
00:55:06,501 --> 00:55:07,737
This you?
1255
00:55:07,769 --> 00:55:09,438
- That was not us.
- Beat it!
1256
00:55:14,376 --> 00:55:15,644
Not you?
1257
00:55:16,878 --> 00:55:19,915
Okay. That is us.
1258
00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:28,757
Next, a truly bizarre
wake-up call.
1259
00:55:33,661 --> 00:55:34,730
- What?
- Oh, my God!
1260
00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:35,932
What are you wearing?!
1261
00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:37,700
Oh, my God, what is that?
What is...
1262
00:55:37,733 --> 00:55:39,702
I have no idea
what the hell is that.
1263
00:55:39,735 --> 00:55:42,070
I don't know how she got in
here. I don't even know her.
1264
00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:44,573
- I'm a church-going lady!
- I would never wear this!
1265
00:55:44,606 --> 00:55:46,608
Do not push the button,
I need this million!
1266
00:55:46,641 --> 00:55:48,877
No! You can't pull it!
1267
00:55:48,911 --> 00:55:51,079
And they're done.
1268
00:55:51,112 --> 00:55:52,781
Beat it! Beat it!
1269
00:55:52,815 --> 00:55:55,451
- That was us.
- Beat it! Beat it! Beat it!
1270
00:55:55,483 --> 00:55:58,387
One of our couples actually
seems to be getting along.
1271
00:56:03,525 --> 00:56:05,594
Whoa, the shortstop
just got to second base.
1272
00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:08,898
But there's more. We've got
1273
00:56:08,931 --> 00:56:11,400
a Crash Couples exclusive
for you tonight.
1274
00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:13,536
The other final couple
has a secret.
1275
00:56:13,568 --> 00:56:16,672
It turns out Svetlana
is not a lawyer.
1276
00:56:16,704 --> 00:56:19,674
This is where she
passed her bar exam.
1277
00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:21,711
Or should I say pole exam?
1278
00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:24,680
Woo-hoo, looks like Jimmy
1279
00:56:24,713 --> 00:56:25,782
isn't her best man.
1280
00:56:30,985 --> 00:56:33,588
- Okay.
- He's my brother.
1281
00:56:33,621 --> 00:56:35,123
There's that, and there's this.
1282
00:56:35,157 --> 00:56:36,959
Whoop, doesn't look like
1283
00:56:36,992 --> 00:56:38,728
he's working on his toast
for his brother,
1284
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,496
Robert Barton's wedding
1285
00:56:40,528 --> 00:56:42,197
Oh, there's a push!
And another push.
1286
00:56:42,231 --> 00:56:44,200
Oh!Look out! Look at...
1287
00:56:44,233 --> 00:56:46,536
Oh, there's gotta be some
hair pulling in this one.
1288
00:56:46,568 --> 00:56:48,003
There's the hair pull!
1289
00:56:48,036 --> 00:56:49,504
So, we've got
the wedding trasher
1290
00:56:49,538 --> 00:56:50,972
and now this.
1291
00:56:51,005 --> 00:56:52,641
He's in the finals.
That's not bad.
1292
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,143
It's not bad, it's terrible!
1293
00:56:54,175 --> 00:56:56,445
Your lead has gone from
seven points to four,
1294
00:56:56,478 --> 00:56:57,579
that falls within
the statistical error range.
1295
00:56:57,612 --> 00:56:58,914
You could lose this.
1296
00:57:00,648 --> 00:57:02,117
Oh, boy, here they come.
1297
00:57:02,150 --> 00:57:05,053
We haven't met.
Hi. I'm Robert Barton.
1298
00:57:05,086 --> 00:57:06,855
- Olga.
- Not Svetlana?
1299
00:57:06,889 --> 00:57:08,825
Is made-up name
for the privacy.
1300
00:57:08,858 --> 00:57:11,093
Let's cut to it. Jimmy,
you're gonna pull out of this.
1301
00:57:11,126 --> 00:57:13,229
- What? No way.
- What's goin' on?
1302
00:57:13,262 --> 00:57:14,831
Nothing, I...
1303
00:57:14,864 --> 00:57:16,032
He's in debt and
he's in troubles.
1304
00:57:16,065 --> 00:57:17,867
- Is this true?
- Kinda, yeah.
1305
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,802
Touching, but you're
gonna cost him the election.
1306
00:57:19,835 --> 00:57:21,871
Why didn't you come to me?
What were you thinking?
1307
00:57:21,903 --> 00:57:23,672
I'm an idiot. I don't know.
1308
00:57:23,706 --> 00:57:25,240
Look, if you
want me to quit the show...
1309
00:57:25,273 --> 00:57:26,909
- We do.
- I can't!
1310
00:57:26,942 --> 00:57:28,978
- Why not?
- Olga. I committed to her.
1311
00:57:29,010 --> 00:57:31,246
- What about Robert?
- I'll keep it really low key.
1312
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,816
No controversy, no strip bars.
1313
00:57:33,849 --> 00:57:37,153
I promise. I'll even
skip your wedding.
1314
00:57:37,186 --> 00:57:39,222
- Not good enough.
- But in the end,
1315
00:57:39,255 --> 00:57:41,858
it's just a game show, right?
Where's the negative in that?
1316
00:57:41,891 --> 00:57:44,760
I'm not gonna bail on my
brother because of a game show.
1317
00:57:44,793 --> 00:57:46,596
- Bev, spin this.
- What?
1318
00:57:46,628 --> 00:57:49,264
Look, I'm a stiff.
I have no sense of humor.
1319
00:57:49,297 --> 00:57:51,066
Maybe that's why
my numbers are down.
1320
00:57:51,099 --> 00:57:53,502
Make this fun. Make me fun.
1321
00:57:54,903 --> 00:57:57,072
- That's crazy.
- It is!
1322
00:57:57,106 --> 00:57:58,975
But won't it be fun?
1323
00:58:38,981 --> 00:58:41,751
Thank you!
Thank you! Goodnight.
1324
00:58:45,820 --> 00:58:48,056
Yoni, she's killer, right?
1325
00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:50,326
Yeah, she takes over, you know?
1326
00:58:50,358 --> 00:58:51,894
Yeah, she does.
1327
00:59:01,603 --> 00:59:02,672
Like it.
1328
00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:07,143
- What's that?
- It's got your name on it.
1329
00:59:07,175 --> 00:59:08,610
It's our demo.
1330
00:59:08,643 --> 00:59:11,112
- Oh, a demo?
- Mm-hmm.
1331
00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:13,215
Ah, Yoni wrote a song. So, we...
1332
00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:15,050
So, we recorded it
with my band.
1333
00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:16,786
Ah, you guys have a band?
1334
00:59:16,818 --> 00:59:18,054
- Yeah.
- No way.
1335
00:59:18,086 --> 00:59:20,956
Ah, well, uh... Not really.
1336
00:59:20,989 --> 00:59:22,658
We just put together
a couple guys.
1337
00:59:23,958 --> 00:59:25,327
You-you put together
a couple guys
1338
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,028
and you didn't
tell me about it?
1339
00:59:27,061 --> 00:59:29,130
We wanted to go
in a different direction.
1340
00:59:29,164 --> 00:59:31,767
Wait, are you...
Are you kidding me?
1341
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,869
Mack, chill. It's just a demo.
1342
00:59:33,902 --> 00:59:35,605
I am chill. But
if it's just a demo,
1343
00:59:35,637 --> 00:59:37,373
then why didn't you
tell me about it, Lenny?
1344
00:59:37,405 --> 00:59:39,041
We didn't want you to be upset.
1345
00:59:39,074 --> 00:59:41,277
We? We, you two we, now?
1346
00:59:42,911 --> 00:59:44,079
What happened to our we?
1347
00:59:47,682 --> 00:59:48,985
You know what? Fine.
1348
00:59:49,018 --> 00:59:50,153
Fine.
1349
00:59:52,855 --> 00:59:56,659
We can go on jury duty now.
They accept anyone.
1350
00:59:56,692 --> 00:59:58,126
Well surely, that's good.
1351
00:59:58,159 --> 01:00:00,962
It's terrible.
I mean, "Hey, I'm blind".
1352
01:00:00,996 --> 01:00:02,664
That was always my best excuse.
1353
01:00:03,965 --> 01:00:05,266
Ah! Ooh, God!
1354
01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:06,936
Oh, my goodness.
Are you alright?
1355
01:00:06,969 --> 01:00:09,838
Yeah, I think I've
cracked my knee cap.
1356
01:00:09,871 --> 01:00:12,074
Oh, dear, oh, God.
Welcome to my world.
1357
01:00:12,106 --> 01:00:14,009
Ah. Do you think
we could afford
1358
01:00:14,043 --> 01:00:15,311
to have the lights on a bit?
1359
01:00:15,344 --> 01:00:17,313
Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Yes.
1360
01:00:17,346 --> 01:00:19,981
I don't use them very often,
1361
01:00:20,014 --> 01:00:22,317
- but there we go.
- Oh, yes.
1362
01:00:22,351 --> 01:00:25,387
Wow! You really look great.
1363
01:00:26,954 --> 01:00:28,356
Ah, here's the problem.
1364
01:00:28,389 --> 01:00:31,793
Coffee table.
It should be more over here.
1365
01:00:31,827 --> 01:00:33,295
Thank you. No, no. Huh-uh.
1366
01:00:33,327 --> 01:00:35,096
No, out of the traffic flow,
because...
1367
01:00:35,130 --> 01:00:37,032
No, actually,
it's quite good here.
1368
01:00:37,065 --> 01:00:39,067
Yeah. Well, I know
it's quite good here.
1369
01:00:39,101 --> 01:00:42,003
But I mean, it'd be
much better a bit over here.
1370
01:00:42,036 --> 01:00:44,005
- You know what might be fun?
- What?
1371
01:00:44,039 --> 01:00:46,676
Well, there's this OCD seminar
1372
01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:48,309
at the Convention Center
this weekend.
1373
01:00:50,311 --> 01:00:52,280
I know.
1374
01:00:52,313 --> 01:00:54,082
See, I'm laughing.
1375
01:00:54,115 --> 01:00:55,818
- Am I cured?
- Far from it.
1376
01:00:57,786 --> 01:00:59,422
Are these your pictures?
1377
01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:03,092
Oh. Yes, yes.
1378
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,296
It was early evening,
1379
01:01:07,329 --> 01:01:09,798
I heard thunder, so,
I started to shoot the clouds,
1380
01:01:09,831 --> 01:01:13,234
but just then I heard
a frantic, shrill whistle.
1381
01:01:13,268 --> 01:01:15,304
I turned to shoot it,
1382
01:01:15,336 --> 01:01:17,840
it was a bicycle messenger
about to hit me.
1383
01:01:17,873 --> 01:01:19,407
Yeah.
1384
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:22,077
And the one next to it
is actually after he hit me.
1385
01:01:22,110 --> 01:01:23,813
Oh, and he
doesn't look too happy.
1386
01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:25,748
- No.
- And this one?
1387
01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:27,983
Oh, yes,
the bus just missed me,
1388
01:01:28,016 --> 01:01:29,284
but it took out a fire hydrant.
1389
01:01:30,485 --> 01:01:32,420
I never realized
that photography
1390
01:01:32,454 --> 01:01:34,023
was an extreme sport.
1391
01:01:35,190 --> 01:01:36,925
They're fantastic pictures.
1392
01:01:36,958 --> 01:01:38,460
You're very talented.
1393
01:01:38,494 --> 01:01:40,762
Thank you. Hmm.
1394
01:01:40,795 --> 01:01:42,330
Come here.
1395
01:01:42,364 --> 01:01:44,733
Oh, you wanna kiss me?
1396
01:01:44,766 --> 01:01:47,068
I do, in the worst way.
1397
01:01:47,101 --> 01:01:49,170
Well, I hope not.
1398
01:01:49,204 --> 01:01:52,175
But let's see how it goes.
1399
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,047
- Oh.
- Mm.
1400
01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:00,048
What? Are you nervous?
1401
01:02:01,115 --> 01:02:02,284
It's been a long time.
1402
01:02:04,987 --> 01:02:06,155
You're gay?
1403
01:02:06,188 --> 01:02:07,256
No, I'm not gay.
1404
01:02:07,289 --> 01:02:08,791
Then, what?
1405
01:02:08,824 --> 01:02:11,494
It's just, I'm... I'm insecure.
1406
01:02:11,527 --> 01:02:12,894
I haven't done this for...
1407
01:02:12,927 --> 01:02:14,763
But how insecure?
1408
01:02:14,797 --> 01:02:16,766
- Very insecure.
- Oh.
1409
01:02:16,798 --> 01:02:19,402
- Mm.
- Oh.
1410
01:02:23,304 --> 01:02:25,273
Oh. Ah.
1411
01:02:26,541 --> 01:02:28,277
Oh, Larry.
1412
01:02:28,309 --> 01:02:30,913
Nobody ever calls me Larry.
1413
01:02:30,945 --> 01:02:32,114
I do.
1414
01:02:35,016 --> 01:02:36,384
- Mmm.
- Yes.
1415
01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:39,121
Mmm.
1416
01:02:40,521 --> 01:02:43,159
What you doing?
1417
01:02:43,192 --> 01:02:44,994
I'm learning your body.
1418
01:02:45,027 --> 01:02:46,461
Oh, God.
1419
01:02:46,494 --> 01:02:50,132
I promise you, I'll start
working out tomorrow.
1420
01:02:50,164 --> 01:02:52,134
Yeah. Start now.
1421
01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,402
Start now.
1422
01:02:57,873 --> 01:02:59,508
Yeah. Your ex
sounds incredibly flaky,
1423
01:02:59,541 --> 01:03:02,077
how terrible for you. But
listen to me very carefully,
1424
01:03:02,110 --> 01:03:03,579
I don't give a shit.
1425
01:03:03,612 --> 01:03:05,880
You were supposed to
be here at four yesterday.
1426
01:03:05,914 --> 01:03:07,950
I waited until seven,
you didn't show.
1427
01:03:07,983 --> 01:03:09,518
You're harshing my vibe.
1428
01:03:09,550 --> 01:03:11,519
No dude, you're
harshing my vibe.
1429
01:03:11,552 --> 01:03:14,222
I'm about to hang up and call
my caterer, Lawrence Phillips.
1430
01:03:14,255 --> 01:03:15,356
Yeah, that...
1431
01:03:15,389 --> 01:03:16,893
Ah, dammit!
1432
01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:20,596
Hello? Just...
1433
01:03:20,628 --> 01:03:22,964
get here before 8:00 AM, okay?
1434
01:03:22,998 --> 01:03:25,967
You win. Get here at 8:00 AM
and one second, you lose.
1435
01:03:26,001 --> 01:03:28,204
- Okay? Thank you.
- You need some help?
1436
01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:29,605
Hi-ya!
1437
01:03:29,637 --> 01:03:32,240
Oh, my God!
1438
01:03:32,273 --> 01:03:34,542
Oh, my God, Mack,
I am so sorry! I...
1439
01:03:34,576 --> 01:03:36,512
- Are you okay? I...
- I'm sorry I scared you.
1440
01:03:36,545 --> 01:03:39,081
I'm sorry I maimed you.
Are you okay?
1441
01:03:39,114 --> 01:03:41,550
You're tough. I feel bad
for the guy on the phone.
1442
01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:43,853
No, don't.
It's a seated dinner.
1443
01:03:43,885 --> 01:03:46,054
It's a little difficult to do
without chairs.
1444
01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:47,489
Had to elevate
the threat level.
1445
01:03:47,521 --> 01:03:49,157
I just didn't think
somebody would be
1446
01:03:49,190 --> 01:03:50,893
eavesdropping at 6:00 AM.
1447
01:03:50,925 --> 01:03:52,927
No, I got here at four.
Slept in the car.
1448
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,262
Why?
1449
01:03:54,295 --> 01:03:56,264
Rough night.
Got into some weirdness
1450
01:03:56,297 --> 01:03:58,199
and... Ah, nothin'.
1451
01:03:58,233 --> 01:04:00,035
I wanted to see you.
1452
01:04:00,068 --> 01:04:03,239
But not in a stalking way.
1453
01:04:03,271 --> 01:04:05,039
Lying in wait and
creeping up behind me
1454
01:04:05,072 --> 01:04:06,975
is really the classic
definition of stalker.
1455
01:04:07,009 --> 01:04:09,010
I had the crazy thought
I could come in,
1456
01:04:09,043 --> 01:04:12,114
and sweep you off your feet,
but you swept me off mine
1457
01:04:12,146 --> 01:04:14,083
So, you owe me breakfast.
1458
01:04:14,115 --> 01:04:16,885
I mean, oh, okay. I...
1459
01:04:16,918 --> 01:04:20,521
My day is insane
and just got more insane,
1460
01:04:20,554 --> 01:04:23,893
But yeah. Look,
give me a second,
1461
01:04:23,925 --> 01:04:26,494
and I could definitely
use a refill.
1462
01:04:26,527 --> 01:04:27,629
Ah.
1463
01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:30,298
Larry?
1464
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,568
Larry?
1465
01:04:35,269 --> 01:04:36,338
Ah.
1466
01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:37,673
What...
1467
01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,608
A note?
1468
01:04:39,641 --> 01:04:41,443
Oh, God.
1469
01:04:41,476 --> 01:04:45,014
I have fallen in love with
the dumbest man in history.
1470
01:04:49,184 --> 01:04:50,452
Ah!
1471
01:04:52,253 --> 01:04:54,422
Oh! Shit!
1472
01:04:54,456 --> 01:04:55,691
Oh.
1473
01:04:55,724 --> 01:04:57,992
Okay, that barista
was so judgy.
1474
01:04:58,025 --> 01:05:00,596
She was like, "Is this your
second red-eye in 15 minutes?"
1475
01:05:00,628 --> 01:05:02,397
It's like, "Oh,
are you keeping score
1476
01:05:02,431 --> 01:05:05,467
- on my caffeine intake?"
- Mm. Who cares?
1477
01:05:07,235 --> 01:05:09,105
- Oh!
- Mm! So close.
1478
01:05:14,509 --> 01:05:16,644
- Here, gimme.
- Hold this. Okay.
1479
01:05:16,677 --> 01:05:17,980
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, yeah.
1480
01:05:18,012 --> 01:05:19,347
Going for the big...
1481
01:05:19,380 --> 01:05:20,982
You're taking this
very seriously.
1482
01:05:21,016 --> 01:05:22,518
- Oh!
- Yes!
1483
01:05:22,550 --> 01:05:24,953
- Wow. Nice shot.
- Here, it's easy.
1484
01:05:26,454 --> 01:05:28,222
- Try again.
- No, thanks.
1485
01:05:28,255 --> 01:05:30,458
- No?
- I suck at basketball
1486
01:05:30,492 --> 01:05:33,028
and plastic bottle
into the trash-ket ball.
1487
01:05:33,061 --> 01:05:35,364
I'm just a musician and
I'm fine with it, you know?
1488
01:05:35,396 --> 01:05:37,099
I don't have to
make the winning shot
1489
01:05:37,132 --> 01:05:38,233
at the buzzer every time.
1490
01:05:38,266 --> 01:05:40,269
I do. Every time.
1491
01:05:41,769 --> 01:05:43,304
With everything.
1492
01:05:43,338 --> 01:05:44,506
Everything's a lot.
1493
01:05:44,539 --> 01:05:46,642
Yeah, it's a lot.
1494
01:05:46,675 --> 01:05:49,577
Mm. How many of those ones
do you remember?
1495
01:05:49,610 --> 01:05:52,614
Hmm, definitely
the ones from middle school.
1496
01:05:55,016 --> 01:05:56,152
Lately, just enough.
1497
01:05:57,652 --> 01:06:00,222
Why don't you just
float on some of them
1498
01:06:00,255 --> 01:06:03,025
and just save your beautiful
energy for the big ones?
1499
01:06:06,460 --> 01:06:08,029
Who are you?
1500
01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,431
What?
1501
01:06:09,463 --> 01:06:12,433
How do you... know me?
1502
01:06:12,467 --> 01:06:16,105
I don't know you,
but I'd like to.
1503
01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:20,041
So,
1504
01:06:20,074 --> 01:06:21,977
I'm just coming off of
1505
01:06:23,478 --> 01:06:27,416
what I thought was me
getting dumped, again.
1506
01:06:27,449 --> 01:06:30,085
But, actually, I was more
the dumper than the dumpee.
1507
01:06:33,588 --> 01:06:37,092
But I think I should
take a little time
1508
01:06:37,125 --> 01:06:40,161
to chill and figure out
the difference between
1509
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,099
losing to someone
1510
01:06:44,465 --> 01:06:45,668
and losing them.
1511
01:06:50,472 --> 01:06:53,075
Well, good luck with that.
1512
01:06:53,108 --> 01:06:54,643
I'll be watching you
from my car.
1513
01:06:54,675 --> 01:06:56,677
- If you need anything.
- Oh, great!
1514
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,617
I have to go grab my guy,
the table and chair rental guy.
1515
01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,052
- Oh, yeah. You go.
- So.
1516
01:07:04,085 --> 01:07:05,620
- You go do that.
- Okay.
1517
01:07:05,653 --> 01:07:08,556
I'll... see you soon.
1518
01:07:08,590 --> 01:07:10,192
It was fun.
1519
01:07:10,224 --> 01:07:11,460
See you later.
1520
01:07:14,096 --> 01:07:16,731
Are these
the ones they delivered?
1521
01:07:16,764 --> 01:07:18,400
- Yes.
- Well, I'm not sure
1522
01:07:18,432 --> 01:07:20,302
they're gonna do a lot of...
1523
01:07:22,737 --> 01:07:24,106
Sara.
1524
01:07:24,139 --> 01:07:26,275
Give me a moment, will you?
1525
01:07:26,307 --> 01:07:27,675
This is a surprise!
1526
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:30,846
Oh. Oh, I just came by
1527
01:07:30,878 --> 01:07:33,581
so you could read this to me.
1528
01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:37,852
Oh, my God! I left you a note.
I'm so silly.
1529
01:07:37,885 --> 01:07:39,822
Make sure you
give it back to me, though,
1530
01:07:39,855 --> 01:07:42,123
because I do
wanna get it framed.
1531
01:07:42,157 --> 01:07:43,592
So, read it. Read it, please.
1532
01:07:46,561 --> 01:07:48,430
"Good morning, sweetheart.
1533
01:07:48,463 --> 01:07:52,134
I had to go to work, but I
can't wait to see you later.
1534
01:07:53,568 --> 01:07:54,636
Kisses,
1535
01:07:54,668 --> 01:07:56,270
Larry."
1536
01:07:56,304 --> 01:07:58,673
Nothing about,
"I changed all the furniture
1537
01:07:58,706 --> 01:08:01,375
in your apartment.
So, do be careful.
1538
01:08:01,409 --> 01:08:02,878
You could get killed"?
1539
01:08:02,911 --> 01:08:04,746
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, yeah?
1540
01:08:04,778 --> 01:08:07,349
Why didn't you just
move the bed next to the window
1541
01:08:07,382 --> 01:08:10,152
so I could plunge to my death
without getting up?
1542
01:08:10,184 --> 01:08:12,453
I just want to make
everything perfect for you.
1543
01:08:12,487 --> 01:08:14,690
Your perfect is just fine.
1544
01:08:14,722 --> 01:08:16,390
But it isn't gonna save me.
1545
01:08:16,423 --> 01:08:20,162
And obviously, you are
too blind to see that.
1546
01:08:20,194 --> 01:08:23,631
Here, Teddy. Let's go, Teddy.
Up, good boy.
1547
01:08:23,664 --> 01:08:25,766
We don't wanna
bang into anything else.
1548
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,270
I've only got one neck,
after all.
1549
01:08:28,302 --> 01:08:29,438
Good, Teddy.
1550
01:08:29,470 --> 01:08:32,473
Uh... Uh...
1551
01:08:32,506 --> 01:08:35,743
♪ I leapt ♪
1552
01:08:35,777 --> 01:08:38,279
♪ Before I looked ♪
1553
01:08:40,314 --> 01:08:43,851
♪ I never learned ♪
1554
01:08:43,885 --> 01:08:47,256
♪ And now I'm cooked ♪
1555
01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:52,494
♪ Shoulda had a plan ♪
1556
01:08:52,527 --> 01:08:55,197
♪ Shoulda up and ran ♪
1557
01:08:55,229 --> 01:08:57,598
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1558
01:08:57,631 --> 01:09:01,469
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1559
01:09:03,305 --> 01:09:07,309
♪ What the hell? ♪
1560
01:09:07,341 --> 01:09:10,411
♪ And what the heck? ♪
1561
01:09:10,444 --> 01:09:14,582
♪ Seems I can't find love ♪
1562
01:09:14,615 --> 01:09:18,520
♪ Without risking your neck ♪
1563
01:09:20,255 --> 01:09:23,225
♪ Probably should have known ♪
1564
01:09:23,257 --> 01:09:26,327
♪ Now I'm all alone ♪
1565
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,796
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1566
01:09:28,829 --> 01:09:32,600
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1567
01:09:34,002 --> 01:09:36,405
♪ 'Cause I got the break-up ♪
1568
01:09:37,805 --> 01:09:41,342
♪ I got the break-up, oh ♪
1569
01:09:41,376 --> 01:09:43,846
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1570
01:09:45,279 --> 01:09:47,715
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1571
01:09:49,417 --> 01:09:52,354
♪ I got the break-up ♪
1572
01:09:52,386 --> 01:09:57,491
♪ The break-up blues ♪
1573
01:10:07,502 --> 01:10:09,371
Yes? Yes?
1574
01:10:09,404 --> 01:10:10,639
It's me.
1575
01:10:10,671 --> 01:10:11,772
Who?
1576
01:10:11,805 --> 01:10:12,840
Larry.
1577
01:10:14,376 --> 01:10:15,711
I really...
I don't know a Larry.
1578
01:10:15,743 --> 01:10:17,445
Lawrence.
1579
01:10:18,846 --> 01:10:20,481
Uh-huh. Oh.
1580
01:10:20,515 --> 01:10:21,783
Can I come up?
1581
01:10:21,815 --> 01:10:22,917
Well...
1582
01:10:24,586 --> 01:10:25,588
Certainly.
1583
01:10:31,525 --> 01:10:32,493
Um...
1584
01:10:33,795 --> 01:10:35,831
I'm sorry.
1585
01:10:35,863 --> 01:10:38,899
I've messed up before and
I'll probably mess up again,
1586
01:10:38,932 --> 01:10:41,470
but look, don't give up on me.
1587
01:10:41,502 --> 01:10:42,904
Okay.
1588
01:10:46,006 --> 01:10:47,808
- I got you this.
- Ah?
1589
01:10:47,841 --> 01:10:48,943
Here.
1590
01:10:51,712 --> 01:10:52,680
Okay.
1591
01:10:59,654 --> 01:11:00,889
Hmm?
1592
01:11:00,921 --> 01:11:01,956
Oh.
1593
01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:05,060
Is this a scarf?
1594
01:11:05,092 --> 01:11:06,560
It's a blindfold.
1595
01:11:06,594 --> 01:11:08,529
- Ah?
- For me.
1596
01:11:10,597 --> 01:11:11,966
Open my eyes.
1597
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,769
Let me see what you see.
1598
01:11:18,872 --> 01:11:20,041
Now, we go out...
1599
01:11:24,546 --> 01:11:25,579
Good.
1600
01:11:25,613 --> 01:11:27,416
Wait, wait, wait.
1601
01:11:27,448 --> 01:11:30,085
No, I don't... Oh, yes, I do.
One, two, three, four.
1602
01:11:30,118 --> 01:11:31,853
- Right. Yes!
- Now, follow it over.
1603
01:11:31,886 --> 01:11:34,623
Ah! What's that?
1604
01:11:34,655 --> 01:11:36,658
- No, smell it.
- Oh.
1605
01:11:47,702 --> 01:11:48,970
Oh! Okay.
1606
01:11:49,002 --> 01:11:50,505
- Okay, can I go home now?
- Yes.
1607
01:11:50,537 --> 01:11:52,073
Of course. Yes, here.
1608
01:11:56,077 --> 01:11:57,846
No, no. Here.
1609
01:11:59,814 --> 01:12:01,083
All right, all right.
1610
01:12:01,115 --> 01:12:03,452
Feel to your right
for the railing.
1611
01:12:03,484 --> 01:12:05,052
- The rail... Oh, wait...
- Ah. Don't you go!
1612
01:12:05,086 --> 01:12:07,689
- Ah! No, wait! Oh, God!
- Don't let go!
1613
01:12:07,721 --> 01:12:09,925
- Lawrence... Oh!
- Wait, wait, wait!
1614
01:12:09,957 --> 01:12:11,659
What... Are you okay?
1615
01:12:11,693 --> 01:12:14,529
- What?
- I can't, I can't, I can't!
1616
01:12:14,561 --> 01:12:16,965
Larry, oh, my God!
Larry! Are you okay?
1617
01:12:16,997 --> 01:12:19,667
Larry, Larry, don't sit.
1618
01:12:21,168 --> 01:12:22,938
- Oh!
- Are you all right?
1619
01:12:22,970 --> 01:12:24,972
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- Okay.
1620
01:12:25,006 --> 01:12:26,807
I'm here. I'm waiting.
1621
01:12:26,841 --> 01:12:28,944
- I'm at... I don't know.
- Oh! Oh!
1622
01:12:28,976 --> 01:12:30,612
Okay, I'm here to help.
1623
01:12:30,645 --> 01:12:32,080
Are you all right?
Ah! Oh, my God!
1624
01:12:32,113 --> 01:12:34,649
No, no. No, don't...
1625
01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:36,585
Well, that was a piece of cake.
1626
01:12:37,886 --> 01:12:40,155
Okay, well, home at last.
How do you feel?
1627
01:12:40,188 --> 01:12:41,757
Exhausted.
1628
01:12:41,789 --> 01:12:43,759
But thrilling.
1629
01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,527
- I mean, I had no inkling
- Yeah.
1630
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,162
- of what you went through.
- Oh, well...
1631
01:12:47,194 --> 01:12:49,930
But I think I'm
pretty good at this now.
1632
01:12:49,963 --> 01:12:51,733
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh, my God! Oh!
1633
01:12:51,765 --> 01:12:54,569
- Ooh.
- Uh, oh. Oh, dear.
1634
01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,878
♪ Turns out we can't be ♪
1635
01:13:03,912 --> 01:13:05,981
♪ Perfect in love ♪
1636
01:13:07,582 --> 01:13:09,151
♪ 'Cause love ain't perfect ♪
1637
01:13:09,184 --> 01:13:11,119
♪ No, not at all ♪
1638
01:13:12,921 --> 01:13:15,724
♪ Ain't no secret
Love ain't pure ♪
1639
01:13:15,756 --> 01:13:18,559
♪ Don't wanna miss it
That's for sure ♪
1640
01:13:18,592 --> 01:13:21,061
♪ The other version
Of this song ♪
1641
01:13:21,095 --> 01:13:23,131
♪ Turned out all wrong ♪
1642
01:13:23,163 --> 01:13:25,966
♪ If you don't claim love ♪
1643
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:28,770
♪ The blame is on us ♪
1644
01:13:28,802 --> 01:13:29,904
Come on!
1645
01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:31,873
♪ We fell in love ♪
1646
01:13:31,905 --> 01:13:34,909
♪ We love the fuss ♪
1647
01:13:36,610 --> 01:13:41,182
♪ Jump together under the bus ♪
1648
01:13:41,216 --> 01:13:44,553
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1649
01:13:44,586 --> 01:13:46,088
♪ Blame us ♪
1650
01:13:48,756 --> 01:13:53,462
♪ If love is crazy
Sign me up ♪
1651
01:13:53,494 --> 01:13:54,829
Oop!
1652
01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:58,033
♪ Check me in and lock me up ♪
1653
01:14:00,601 --> 01:14:02,671
- Oh! Ooh!
- ♪ If love is blind ♪
1654
01:14:02,703 --> 01:14:04,773
- Oh-ho. Mmm!
- ♪ Then take my sight ♪
1655
01:14:04,805 --> 01:14:06,474
Mm! Mm!
1656
01:14:06,507 --> 01:14:08,108
- Is that good?
- ♪ If love is tough ♪
1657
01:14:08,141 --> 01:14:12,079
♪ Let's dance all night! ♪
1658
01:14:12,113 --> 01:14:14,916
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1659
01:14:14,948 --> 01:14:17,185
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1660
01:14:18,752 --> 01:14:21,590
♪ If we don't claim love ♪
1661
01:14:21,622 --> 01:14:23,458
♪ The blame is on us ♪
1662
01:14:28,262 --> 01:14:29,965
Oh. Just keep going.
1663
01:14:29,997 --> 01:14:31,198
No, stop.
1664
01:14:31,231 --> 01:14:33,100
I was kidding. Joke
1665
01:14:37,005 --> 01:14:38,539
- Hey.
- Hey!
1666
01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:39,807
This is Zhopa.
1667
01:14:39,841 --> 01:14:41,877
Very nice meeting you,
Mr. Mayor.
1668
01:14:41,909 --> 01:14:43,677
Oh, well, I'm not mayor yet.
1669
01:14:43,711 --> 01:14:47,115
An election?
We could fixing that.
1670
01:14:47,148 --> 01:14:48,650
Thanks, I think we're good.
1671
01:14:48,682 --> 01:14:50,851
- This Menny.
- Manny!
1672
01:14:50,885 --> 01:14:52,220
- Menny.
- Menny.
1673
01:14:52,252 --> 01:14:54,523
- This Ivan.
- Ivan!
1674
01:14:54,555 --> 01:14:55,689
Ivan!
1675
01:14:55,722 --> 01:14:57,158
Great. Nice to meet you all.
1676
01:14:57,190 --> 01:14:58,993
We are late
and we are leaving.
1677
01:15:02,063 --> 01:15:03,065
After you.
1678
01:15:20,847 --> 01:15:22,583
What the heck is this?
1679
01:15:23,784 --> 01:15:24,952
Ah, come on!
1680
01:15:26,587 --> 01:15:27,721
This is bad.
1681
01:15:27,755 --> 01:15:29,757
This is not good.
1682
01:15:31,359 --> 01:15:34,729
Okay. One of the perks
about duck boating is this.
1683
01:15:34,761 --> 01:15:35,996
Victor, show 'em.
1684
01:15:36,029 --> 01:15:38,332
Hey, Prius, move it!
1685
01:15:38,365 --> 01:15:40,769
Drive it all the way forward.
Thank you so much!
1686
01:15:40,801 --> 01:15:42,603
Trying to meet
the love of my life,
1687
01:15:42,636 --> 01:15:44,572
no big deal. Very big deal.
Go! Go! Go!
1688
01:15:44,605 --> 01:15:47,074
Come on! There you go!
1689
01:15:48,743 --> 01:15:49,911
That wasn't so hard.
1690
01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:51,246
We're dead.
1691
01:15:52,313 --> 01:15:54,583
No, we're not.
1692
01:16:03,957 --> 01:16:04,926
Hey!
1693
01:16:05,993 --> 01:16:08,697
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1694
01:16:08,729 --> 01:16:10,030
Hey! Hey!
1695
01:16:10,064 --> 01:16:12,000
Hey, I'm Robert Barton.
1696
01:16:12,033 --> 01:16:13,335
I'm running for mayor.
1697
01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,003
Oh, that's weird,
1698
01:16:15,036 --> 01:16:16,337
'cause you
actually are running.
1699
01:16:16,371 --> 01:16:18,239
You have my vote, thank you.
1700
01:16:18,271 --> 01:16:20,875
But now I'm running late,
so, I got to go. All right?
1701
01:16:20,908 --> 01:16:22,744
No-no-no-no-no-no.
Wait, wait, wait!
1702
01:16:22,777 --> 01:16:24,846
Stop, stop, stop!
1703
01:16:24,878 --> 01:16:26,347
You can't go! I'm late!
1704
01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:29,651
- For what?
- I'm getting married!
1705
01:16:29,684 --> 01:16:31,052
I'm meeting my true love.
1706
01:16:31,085 --> 01:16:33,121
- We'll go with you.
- What?
1707
01:16:33,154 --> 01:16:35,757
This is
the Cinderella guy.
1708
01:16:35,789 --> 01:16:37,292
That's TV press up there.
1709
01:16:37,324 --> 01:16:39,260
With this boat,
we've got just enough time
1710
01:16:39,292 --> 01:16:41,762
to go pick up his woman,
then over to your wedding,
1711
01:16:41,796 --> 01:16:44,332
and you become the
romance king of Boston.
1712
01:16:44,364 --> 01:16:47,335
You wanna stop being a stiff?
Here's your chance.
1713
01:16:49,703 --> 01:16:51,038
We're gonna go with you!
1714
01:16:51,072 --> 01:16:53,041
Great! Welcome aboard!
Let's go!
1715
01:16:53,073 --> 01:16:55,009
Let down the ladder.
Victor, punch it!
1716
01:16:56,243 --> 01:16:58,078
Yes, let's go!
1717
01:16:58,112 --> 01:16:59,847
I love helping strangers!
1718
01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:03,952
All aboard, life vests on.
1719
01:17:03,984 --> 01:17:05,719
Who knows
if this thing still floats?
1720
01:17:05,752 --> 01:17:07,389
I mean, it should.
It's FDA approved.
1721
01:17:07,421 --> 01:17:08,822
Whatever that means.
1722
01:17:08,855 --> 01:17:10,858
We're heading out to sea,
hang on.
1723
01:17:10,891 --> 01:17:12,260
I hope you can swim.
1724
01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,996
I am not lifeguard certified.
1725
01:17:17,765 --> 01:17:18,767
Yeah.
1726
01:17:19,966 --> 01:17:21,168
- Put this over here?
- Yep.
1727
01:17:21,202 --> 01:17:22,369
Hey.
1728
01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,872
- Hey!
- How's it goin'?
1729
01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:25,372
You look amazingly calm.
1730
01:17:25,405 --> 01:17:27,442
Amazingly everything's
going like clockwork, so.
1731
01:17:27,475 --> 01:17:29,978
- No glitches?
- Nope. I'm a pro.
1732
01:17:30,011 --> 01:17:31,780
Been at this
a whole eight days.
1733
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:33,381
I'm not surprised at all.
1734
01:17:33,413 --> 01:17:36,018
So, you maybe
doin' some thinking?
1735
01:17:39,854 --> 01:17:42,891
Yeah, I've been doing that.
Yep.
1736
01:17:42,923 --> 01:17:44,926
And how am I doin'?
1737
01:17:44,958 --> 01:17:46,360
Um...
1738
01:17:47,962 --> 01:17:49,197
Pretty good.
1739
01:17:49,229 --> 01:17:51,765
Aw, just pretty good?
Come on.
1740
01:17:56,203 --> 01:17:57,171
Bev?
1741
01:17:58,805 --> 01:18:00,074
Wait... What?
1742
01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:01,476
A duck boat?
1743
01:18:01,509 --> 01:18:03,444
Are you crazy?
You would never make it.
1744
01:18:04,779 --> 01:18:05,747
Bev?
1745
01:18:07,448 --> 01:18:08,817
Dammit!
1746
01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:10,351
- Glitch?
- Huge glitch.
1747
01:18:10,384 --> 01:18:12,386
Planning a wedding that
might not have a groom.
1748
01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:16,090
- Son of a bitch!
- What?
1749
01:18:16,123 --> 01:18:18,292
Lenny quit. I can't believe it!
1750
01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:19,961
- You're kidding, right?
- No.
1751
01:18:19,993 --> 01:18:22,130
But I'll just call
some people, okay?
1752
01:18:22,162 --> 01:18:24,031
- And I'll fix...
- Not kidding.
1753
01:18:24,064 --> 01:18:25,032
Son of a...
1754
01:18:26,333 --> 01:18:28,135
♪ If love is tough ♪
1755
01:18:28,168 --> 01:18:31,238
♪ Let's dance all night ♪
1756
01:18:31,271 --> 01:18:32,873
♪ Don't blame love... ♪
1757
01:18:32,907 --> 01:18:34,743
Sorry, could I talk to you
for one second?
1758
01:18:34,775 --> 01:18:36,443
Hi, I'm kind of in
the middle of somethin' here.
1759
01:18:36,476 --> 01:18:38,880
I understand. I'm so sorry,
just one second.
1760
01:18:38,912 --> 01:18:42,049
I come by here every day.
I love you, you're great.
1761
01:18:42,082 --> 01:18:43,350
Can you be in a band?
1762
01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:45,153
- Oh, I don't...
- Like, right now.
1763
01:18:45,185 --> 01:18:49,156
Sorry, what I meant to say
was, right now, please,
1764
01:18:49,189 --> 01:18:51,158
because two minutes ago,
across the street,
1765
01:18:51,192 --> 01:18:53,360
at my wedding...
Not my wedding...
1766
01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:56,331
But anyway,
half of our band just quit.
1767
01:18:56,363 --> 01:19:00,468
So, you could be
the new other half, and...
1768
01:19:03,104 --> 01:19:04,506
Just please, help me out.
1769
01:19:04,538 --> 01:19:06,073
I really can't
let this couple down.
1770
01:19:06,106 --> 01:19:09,077
It just has to be their
perfect day.
1771
01:19:09,109 --> 01:19:11,011
And I will carry your stuff...
1772
01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:13,047
I don't play in bands,
I work alone.
1773
01:19:13,079 --> 01:19:15,850
I get that.
1774
01:19:15,882 --> 01:19:19,320
I know I sound crazy.
I'm just desperate.
1775
01:19:21,087 --> 01:19:22,423
He comes, too.
1776
01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:26,293
I thought you only work alone?
1777
01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:28,029
I was wrong.
1778
01:19:28,061 --> 01:19:29,229
What's his name?
1779
01:19:29,262 --> 01:19:30,564
I don't know.
1780
01:19:30,597 --> 01:19:33,201
Mister Guitar Man,
1781
01:19:33,234 --> 01:19:35,069
would you care to join...
1782
01:19:35,101 --> 01:19:38,372
- Jordan.
- Jordan, in our new band?
1783
01:19:38,405 --> 01:19:41,909
- Happy to. Yeah.
- Amazing! Okay!
1784
01:19:50,451 --> 01:19:53,288
Where're you off to?
A gig? Need brass?
1785
01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:54,922
Oh, definitely.
1786
01:19:56,056 --> 01:19:57,958
Can I join the parade?
1787
01:19:57,992 --> 01:19:59,127
Why not?
1788
01:20:09,936 --> 01:20:11,972
It's exactly five o'clock,
and I'm here live
1789
01:20:12,006 --> 01:20:13,541
with our own Prince Charming
1790
01:20:13,573 --> 01:20:15,409
who's hoping to find
Cinderella waiting for him
1791
01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:17,045
right here in the park.
1792
01:20:17,078 --> 01:20:19,547
Romance is alive and well,
and even though
1793
01:20:19,579 --> 01:20:21,850
his own wedding is
scheduled at six pm tonight,
1794
01:20:21,882 --> 01:20:23,917
Robert Barton came here
to be part of this.
1795
01:20:23,951 --> 01:20:26,386
This is what makes Boston
the greatest city in the world
1796
01:20:26,420 --> 01:20:28,222
- and I just couldn't keep...
- Let's do this.
1797
01:20:28,256 --> 01:20:30,158
- We're doing this.
- Stay tuned.
1798
01:20:38,899 --> 01:20:40,067
There he is!
1799
01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:42,202
Oh!
1800
01:20:42,235 --> 01:20:43,904
Hey.
1801
01:20:45,538 --> 01:20:47,140
Is she here?
1802
01:20:47,173 --> 01:20:48,376
Who's to know? It's so crazy.
1803
01:20:50,043 --> 01:20:52,881
Everybody shutting up!
1804
01:20:52,913 --> 01:20:55,483
Thank you.
Now, lining up
1805
01:20:55,515 --> 01:20:58,452
so that Mr. Ritchie
can finding his girlfriend.
1806
01:20:58,485 --> 01:21:02,055
Huh? Lining up, lining up.
Go, go, go!
1807
01:21:02,088 --> 01:21:04,225
What would we do
without the mafia? Thank you!
1808
01:21:04,257 --> 01:21:05,592
- Thank you very much.
- Okay.
1809
01:21:05,626 --> 01:21:08,363
- Um, hi.
- Hi.
1810
01:21:08,395 --> 01:21:10,597
How are you? Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
1811
01:21:10,631 --> 01:21:12,432
- I love that. It's amazing.
- Hi!
1812
01:21:12,466 --> 01:21:14,636
All right.
Sorry, pal.
1813
01:21:14,668 --> 01:21:17,037
Actually, no,
let me get a selfie.
1814
01:21:17,070 --> 01:21:18,907
My mom's never
going to believe this.
1815
01:21:18,939 --> 01:21:21,108
Mark Wahlberg
tried to win my heart.
1816
01:21:21,141 --> 01:21:22,309
Bam!
1817
01:21:22,342 --> 01:21:23,577
Thank you so much for comin'.
1818
01:21:23,610 --> 01:21:25,445
Thank you. All right.
1819
01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:27,515
You're married, you shouldn't
be here. Go home.
1820
01:21:27,547 --> 01:21:29,516
Hey. On the six-pack,
I love it.
1821
01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:32,420
Ah! You're about to
faint for me. Okay, girl.
1822
01:21:32,453 --> 01:21:35,290
On the leg, no-no, it's
supposed to be on the neck.
1823
01:21:35,323 --> 01:21:36,691
Yeah, it's okay.
1824
01:21:36,724 --> 01:21:38,226
Hey, how are you guys?
1825
01:21:38,259 --> 01:21:40,395
Oh. That looks real.
1826
01:21:40,427 --> 01:21:42,997
Oh, on your wrist.
Okay.
1827
01:21:43,029 --> 01:21:44,131
Cool.
1828
01:21:49,036 --> 01:21:50,005
Hey.
1829
01:21:56,543 --> 01:21:57,612
She's not here.
1830
01:22:08,622 --> 01:22:10,291
Ladies, you are all wonderful.
1831
01:22:10,323 --> 01:22:12,092
If it were legal,
I'd set up a cult,
1832
01:22:12,126 --> 01:22:13,661
and I'd marry every one of you.
1833
01:22:13,694 --> 01:22:15,997
- I'll join!
- Me, too! Yeah!
1834
01:22:18,064 --> 01:22:20,100
Unfortunately,
we are late for a wedding.
1835
01:22:20,134 --> 01:22:21,569
And there's only one person
1836
01:22:21,601 --> 01:22:23,403
that can get us
to the church on time.
1837
01:22:23,436 --> 01:22:25,506
Me, Captain Ritchie.
So, I have to go.
1838
01:22:25,538 --> 01:22:26,707
Let's go, let's go!
1839
01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:29,042
Bye!
1840
01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:30,444
Bye!
1841
01:22:36,182 --> 01:22:37,752
Okay. Well,
tell him to floor it.
1842
01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:42,757
- Oh, my God!
- Ta-da!
1843
01:22:42,789 --> 01:22:45,025
Look at you!
You look like a dream!
1844
01:22:45,059 --> 01:22:47,729
- Jessie! This is amazing!
- Watch the stairs.
1845
01:22:47,761 --> 01:22:50,631
Oh, surprise.
Yeah, zero emissions.
1846
01:22:51,564 --> 01:22:53,134
Well, kinda.
1847
01:22:53,167 --> 01:22:55,069
- Close enough.
- More or less.
1848
01:22:55,101 --> 01:22:56,570
Okay. Here we go. Hop on.
1849
01:22:56,604 --> 01:22:58,073
Whoo-hoo!
1850
01:22:59,239 --> 01:23:01,108
Jessie, this is awesome!
1851
01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:04,112
You have truly
created the perfect day.
1852
01:23:04,145 --> 01:23:06,447
Good. Okay, ready?
1853
01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:08,315
- Let's get you married.
- Let's do it.
1854
01:23:08,349 --> 01:23:09,684
All right, we're ready.
1855
01:23:09,716 --> 01:23:11,551
Come on. Get up.
1856
01:23:11,585 --> 01:23:13,453
- How're you feeling?
- Feeling good. Yeah.
1857
01:23:13,487 --> 01:23:15,023
Ah!
1858
01:23:15,055 --> 01:23:16,323
Oh, my God!
1859
01:23:16,356 --> 01:23:17,625
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I guess.
1860
01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:18,626
I mean, what happened?
1861
01:23:19,726 --> 01:23:22,063
- Uh, wow.
- Is... What?
1862
01:23:22,095 --> 01:23:25,198
Your train is wrapped around
the wheel spoke.
1863
01:23:25,231 --> 01:23:27,335
- You got it?
- No. It's stuck.
1864
01:23:27,368 --> 01:23:29,504
You know what? Sir,
can you back up a little bit
1865
01:23:29,537 --> 01:23:31,271
and just see if
we can get it to unwind?
1866
01:23:31,305 --> 01:23:34,142
Stuck. She won't move.
Can't go forward or back.
1867
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,177
- This is a disaster.
- One second.
1868
01:23:36,210 --> 01:23:38,512
- Hey, you guys. Need some help?
- Hi.
1869
01:23:38,546 --> 01:23:40,213
I don't know. Jessie, do you...
1870
01:23:42,515 --> 01:23:44,684
The wedding trasher
strikes again.
1871
01:23:44,717 --> 01:23:46,421
Hey! That girl is my friend.
1872
01:23:46,453 --> 01:23:48,221
Okay, you don't talk to
my friend like that.
1873
01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:50,425
If you do, I will show you
the dictionary definition
1874
01:23:50,457 --> 01:23:52,659
of the word "trasher.".
You get it?
1875
01:23:52,693 --> 01:23:54,429
- Yes, ma'am.
- Apologize to her!
1876
01:23:54,462 --> 01:23:56,597
I'm sorry.
1877
01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,466
Now beat it before
I wrap your tricycle
1878
01:23:58,498 --> 01:23:59,768
around your fat head!
1879
01:24:03,537 --> 01:24:06,106
You! Stop!
1880
01:24:16,684 --> 01:24:20,253
Young lady, can I count on
your vote in November?
1881
01:24:20,287 --> 01:24:23,490
Was this on the registry?
1882
01:24:43,444 --> 01:24:46,414
Bev, you did it! I love you!
1883
01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,449
Ooh! And I,
much to my amazement,
1884
01:24:48,481 --> 01:24:50,417
am quite fond of you.
1885
01:24:50,451 --> 01:24:51,652
I've gotta go.
1886
01:24:54,354 --> 01:24:57,357
You are a hero.
I can't thank you enough.
1887
01:24:57,390 --> 01:24:59,159
My pleasure, man.
1888
01:24:59,193 --> 01:25:00,261
Sorry about your girl.
1889
01:25:00,293 --> 01:25:02,363
She wasn't my girl.
1890
01:25:02,395 --> 01:25:03,398
Was just...
1891
01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:06,534
Crazy love.
1892
01:25:06,567 --> 01:25:08,136
It's all crazy.
1893
01:25:08,168 --> 01:25:11,139
Look, my bride,
1894
01:25:11,171 --> 01:25:12,706
three mafia goons,
1895
01:25:12,739 --> 01:25:14,407
and my brother
chained to a stripper.
1896
01:25:14,440 --> 01:25:16,577
But in the end,
you got the girl.
1897
01:25:16,609 --> 01:25:20,280
Come with me.
It's gonna be a great party.
1898
01:25:20,314 --> 01:25:21,349
I'm good, thank you.
1899
01:25:22,615 --> 01:25:24,685
Okay. Thanks again.
1900
01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:28,355
Hey.
1901
01:25:29,489 --> 01:25:31,559
Don't give up on the crazy.
1902
01:25:31,591 --> 01:25:32,826
That's what makes love...
1903
01:25:34,662 --> 01:25:35,663
Love.
1904
01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:57,217
I've never seen
an avocado do that.
1905
01:25:59,886 --> 01:26:01,721
So, remember, Robert,
1906
01:26:01,755 --> 01:26:03,658
when you hook up to
the old ball and chain,
1907
01:26:03,690 --> 01:26:05,458
don't do it like I did.
1908
01:26:05,492 --> 01:26:07,427
She's got the balls
and I've got the chain.
1909
01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:15,469
Hey, everybody!
1910
01:26:15,502 --> 01:26:17,305
How we doing?
1911
01:26:17,337 --> 01:26:19,439
All right. Thank you all
so much for coming.
1912
01:26:19,472 --> 01:26:22,210
This is my first wedding,
and hopefully my last.
1913
01:26:22,243 --> 01:26:23,778
Um...
1914
01:26:23,810 --> 01:26:26,546
And this great event
was created by Jessie English.
1915
01:26:28,615 --> 01:26:32,252
Who, thankfully,
decided not to parachute
1916
01:26:32,286 --> 01:26:34,454
through the top of a tent.
1917
01:26:34,488 --> 01:26:36,557
But seriously, Jessie,
thank you so much.
1918
01:26:37,957 --> 01:26:39,759
Hey, what about me?
1919
01:26:39,792 --> 01:26:41,595
Oh, I'm sorry, and you are?
1920
01:26:42,895 --> 01:26:44,532
Have a good time, everybody!
1921
01:26:51,572 --> 01:26:53,541
Well, speaking
of new marriages,
1922
01:26:53,573 --> 01:26:55,009
"Celebration"!
1923
01:27:02,382 --> 01:27:04,351
We don't know how to play it.
1924
01:27:09,756 --> 01:27:11,291
"Celebration."
1925
01:27:30,677 --> 01:27:32,279
♪ Yahoo! ♪
1926
01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:35,482
♪ It's a celebration ♪
1927
01:27:38,985 --> 01:27:41,555
♪ Yahoo! ♪
1928
01:27:41,587 --> 01:27:43,690
- What's wrong?
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
1929
01:27:43,724 --> 01:27:47,028
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
1930
01:27:47,060 --> 01:27:48,695
Look at that.
1931
01:27:48,729 --> 01:27:51,632
♪ It's a celebration ♪
1932
01:27:51,664 --> 01:27:53,367
It's perfect.
1933
01:27:53,399 --> 01:27:55,635
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
1934
01:27:55,668 --> 01:27:59,306
It's really not perfect.
1935
01:27:59,340 --> 01:28:01,509
Oh, look at the two of them.
1936
01:28:01,542 --> 01:28:03,811
If that's not perfect,
then it doesn't need to be.
1937
01:28:03,844 --> 01:28:05,078
You did good, kid.
1938
01:28:05,112 --> 01:28:07,614
Thank you, Larry.
1939
01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,350
Oh, no. Only...
1940
01:28:09,382 --> 01:28:11,018
There's only one person
who calls me Larry.
1941
01:28:11,051 --> 01:28:13,020
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.
1942
01:28:13,052 --> 01:28:15,021
If you keep up
this nice guy crap,
1943
01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:16,757
everybody's
gonna call you Larry.
1944
01:28:18,524 --> 01:28:21,028
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
1945
01:28:22,729 --> 01:28:24,964
♪ It's a celebration! ♪
1946
01:28:24,997 --> 01:28:28,935
♪ Celebrate good times
Come on! ♪
1947
01:28:28,969 --> 01:28:32,006
♪ Ooh, it's a celebration! ♪
1948
01:28:32,038 --> 01:28:34,974
♪ There's a party going on
Round here ♪
1949
01:28:35,007 --> 01:28:39,512
♪ A celebration to last
Throughout the year ♪
1950
01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:42,717
♪ So, bring your good times
And your laughter too ♪
1951
01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:48,421
♪ We're gonna celebrate
Your party with you ♪
1952
01:28:48,454 --> 01:28:52,393
♪ Celebration ♪
1953
01:28:52,426 --> 01:28:56,097
♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪
1954
01:28:56,130 --> 01:28:59,467
♪ Celebration ♪
1955
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:04,471
♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪
1956
01:29:04,505 --> 01:29:08,141
♪ It's time to come together ♪
1957
01:29:08,175 --> 01:29:12,046
♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure ♪
1958
01:29:12,078 --> 01:29:16,750
♪ Everyone around the world
Come on! ♪
1959
01:29:16,783 --> 01:29:19,452
♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪
1960
01:29:19,485 --> 01:29:21,087
♪ Yahoo! ♪
1961
01:29:21,121 --> 01:29:23,824
- ♪ It's a celebration! ♪
- ♪ Whoo! ♪
1962
01:29:23,856 --> 01:29:26,894
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
1963
01:29:26,926 --> 01:29:31,931
♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪
1964
01:29:31,965 --> 01:29:34,902
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
1965
01:29:34,935 --> 01:29:39,472
♪ Let's celebrate,
It's all right ♪
1966
01:29:39,506 --> 01:29:42,910
♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
1967
01:29:42,943 --> 01:29:44,145
♪ Let's celebrate ♪
1968
01:29:44,177 --> 01:29:46,846
♪ Celebration ♪
1969
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:51,484
♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate
And have a good time ♪
1970
01:29:51,518 --> 01:29:55,555
♪ Celebration ♪
1971
01:29:55,588 --> 01:29:59,493
♪ Let's all celebrate
And have a good time ♪
1972
01:29:59,525 --> 01:30:02,128
♪ We're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
1973
01:30:02,162 --> 01:30:05,966
♪ Let's celebrate
It's all right ♪
1974
01:30:05,998 --> 01:30:10,069
♪ Yeah, we're gonna have
A good time tonight ♪
1975
01:30:10,103 --> 01:30:13,875
♪ Let's celebrate
'Cause it's all right ♪
1976
01:30:15,809 --> 01:30:19,213
♪ It's time to come together ♪
1977
01:30:19,246 --> 01:30:23,150
♪ It's up to you
What's your pleasure? ♪
1978
01:30:23,182 --> 01:30:27,988
♪ Everyone around the world
come on! ♪
1979
01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:31,157
♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪
1980
01:30:43,170 --> 01:30:45,172
All right! Hold it down!
1981
01:30:45,204 --> 01:30:48,641
Hold it down! Let's
just get this over with.
1982
01:30:48,675 --> 01:30:50,845
Final show. Crash Couples.
1983
01:30:50,877 --> 01:30:52,712
Someone walks away with a mill.
1984
01:30:52,746 --> 01:30:55,082
Someone walks away with bupkis.
1985
01:30:55,114 --> 01:30:56,951
The results are in.
1986
01:30:56,984 --> 01:30:59,687
Tiny and Shaq have been
leading the voting
1987
01:30:59,720 --> 01:31:01,789
for the last five days.
1988
01:31:03,556 --> 01:31:04,858
Which means you two
1989
01:31:04,891 --> 01:31:06,693
have been getting
your asses kicked.
1990
01:31:06,726 --> 01:31:08,761
But...
1991
01:31:08,795 --> 01:31:11,966
A giant tidal wave
of last minute votes
1992
01:31:11,998 --> 01:31:15,135
produced
an impossible comeback.
1993
01:31:15,167 --> 01:31:17,036
The winners are
1994
01:31:17,069 --> 01:31:19,706
Jimmy and Svetlana!
1995
01:31:30,583 --> 01:31:31,685
That was us.
1996
01:31:35,118 --> 01:31:40,118
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