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1
00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:08,140
Well, today we kick off the Tool
Time lyric-writing contest.
2
00:00:08,207 --> 00:00:10,875
For years our theme song
has had no words.
3
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,277
Klaus?
4
00:00:15,848 --> 00:00:19,051
Hey? And a theme song
without lyrics is like...
5
00:00:19,118 --> 00:00:22,754
Well, it's like Al's mom
without a 5:00 shadow.
6
00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:28,693
As I was saying,
7
00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:31,096
Detroit's finest songwriters
8
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:34,866
are vying to have their
lyrics be the crown jewel
9
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,702
in the dazzling Tool Time theme!
10
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:41,039
You heard it right.
There's no money involved.
11
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,142
Heidi, tell them
how the contest works.
12
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,712
Well, our contestant begins to sing and
the moment we don't like what we hear...
13
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,013
Flonko!
14
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,117
Well, let's bring out
our first contestant.
15
00:00:53,185 --> 00:00:57,088
He is a carpet installer,
Wade Waller.
16
00:01:04,596 --> 00:01:05,997
Thank you.
17
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:07,398
All right.
18
00:01:07,466 --> 00:01:09,233
All right, Waller,
let's hear you holler.
19
00:01:11,303 --> 00:01:12,537
One, two, three.
20
00:01:12,604 --> 00:01:14,973
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
21
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,141
♪ It's here now
22
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:18,309
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
23
00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:19,410
♪ And here it is
24
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,746
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
25
00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,014
♪ Here's a song
26
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:26,818
♪ Here is the Tool Time song
27
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:30,289
And here's a Tool Time gong.
28
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,191
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a warm hello to
29
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,294
The Flannels!
30
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:45,003
Now there's
a good-looking bunch.
31
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:48,639
Yeah, if you're a single woman
at a Scottish mixer, huh?
32
00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:50,208
Where are your
instruments, guys?
33
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,444
Oh, we don't have any.
We'll be singing Al cappella.
34
00:01:53,512 --> 00:01:55,213
One, two and one.
35
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,018
♪ Everyone get
set for Tool Time
36
00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:02,620
♪ Wrenches
37
00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:04,690
♪ Everyone get set
for Tool Time
38
00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:05,823
♪ Ratchets
39
00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:11,096
♪ Circular, circular,
circular, circular
40
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,764
♪ Saws!
41
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:20,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
42
00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,310
All right!
43
00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:30,148
Well, they are great!
44
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,917
Well, and congratulations, guys.
45
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,085
You made it into
the semi-finals.
46
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,987
♪ Semi-finals!
47
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,722
Yeah!
48
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,557
You're great.
49
00:02:39,625 --> 00:02:42,327
♪ Really great!
50
00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:44,228
See you next time.
51
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:48,032
♪ See us next time!
52
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,234
You're pushing it.
53
00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,669
♪ We're pushing it!
54
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:53,671
Our next contestants
are a rap group,
55
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,240
and they are big
fans of the show.
56
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,008
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
57
00:02:57,076 --> 00:03:00,711
L.L. Tool J and
Grand Master Bath!
58
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:06,384
What's up?
59
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,653
♪ Yo, Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
60
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,922
♪ Yo, Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
61
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,024
♪ I say Tim's in the house
♪ Rock the house
62
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,259
♪ You say Tim's in the house?
63
00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:15,727
♪ Wreck the house
64
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,729
♪ If you got a nice place
♪ And you want it kept
65
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,898
♪ Then ban Mr. Tim
♪ Because he's inept
66
00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:21,132
♪ He'll blow off your roof
67
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,366
♪ And destroy your kitchen
68
00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:23,534
♪ And next thing you know
69
00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:24,836
♪ Your girlfriend's bitchin'
70
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,170
♪ 'Cause Tim is in the house
71
00:03:26,238 --> 00:03:27,772
♪ Wreck the house
72
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,340
Yo, what's up with that?
73
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,776
You dissed the boss.
That means you lost.
74
00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:28,133
Now it's only 16 hours,
37 minutes, and 45 seconds
75
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,001
until you leave for Costa Rica.
76
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,405
Forty-four seconds.
77
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:36,975
Randy, maybe we shouldn't spend
our last moments together
78
00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,811
counting our last
moments together.
79
00:04:39,878 --> 00:04:41,679
You're right.
80
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,459
I just can't believe you're
gonna be there for a whole year
81
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,022
and I'm not going with you.
82
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,891
I know. You know, when we
both applied for this thing,
83
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:57,496
I always pictured the two of us
working together in the rainforest.
84
00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,365
You know, we'd spend our mornings
protecting endangered species...
85
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:04,068
And our afternoons
collecting dung samples.
86
00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:10,108
Look, it'll only be a year.
87
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:11,547
I'll be back here
before you know it.
88
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:12,844
I know. I know.
89
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,782
I'm just really gonna miss you.
90
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,984
I'm gonna miss you, too.
91
00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:23,021
Randy, while I'm gone, would you
just promise me one little thing?
92
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:25,089
Don't worry about it.
93
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,625
I won't look at any other girls,
94
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,493
except for maybe Tiffany Tucker,
95
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:32,063
who's got that nice mole on
her lip shaped like Idaho.
96
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:41,806
Must be so hard saying
good-bye for a whole year.
97
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,443
Looks like that kiss is
gonna last a whole year.
98
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,245
I hate to admit it.
99
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,415
I am so glad that he didn't
get into that program.
100
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,618
I'd hate to have my child living
in a jungle in Central America.
101
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,720
I think it will be a great
experience for Lauren.
102
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,922
She gets to frolic in the
sun, pick some coffee,
103
00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:01,526
come back home with a nice
tan, and really wide awake.
104
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,499
Well, that's it.
Lauren's on her way.
105
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,868
How are you?
106
00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:11,703
I'm all right.
A little sad.
107
00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:14,406
Hey, of course you're sad.
108
00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:17,642
What you need is something to
take your mind off this, okay?
109
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,511
You know, when I have
young girlfriends
110
00:06:19,578 --> 00:06:21,879
that leave me for the jungle...
111
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,483
When something
bad happens to me,
112
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,652
I go to the garage
and work on cars.
113
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,790
When anything happens to you, you
go to the garage and work on cars.
114
00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:34,593
You know what's weird is that it was
my idea to apply to the program
115
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,061
in the first place.
116
00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:38,262
Now she's going and I'm not.
117
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:41,833
Things happen for a reason. I mean,
maybe Lauren was just meant to go.
118
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,770
Yeah. You know how
the world works.
119
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,705
They always favor the woman.
120
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,710
What are you doing?
121
00:06:52,777 --> 00:06:54,778
I'm putting a scrapbook
together for Lauren.
122
00:06:54,846 --> 00:06:58,483
Each item represents some special
moment in our relationship.
123
00:06:58,550 --> 00:06:59,750
Pasta?
124
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:04,022
Yeah. That's from
our first date together.
125
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:07,025
Good thing you didn't have fish.
126
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,527
Yeah. I'm gonna send this
to Lauren down in Costa Rica
127
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,063
so she'll have something
that reminds her of me.
128
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,132
Yeah, I think that's
really nice of you, Randy.
129
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,968
Here. You should put
that in there, too, man.
130
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,736
What's the significance of this?
131
00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:22,340
Nothing. I just didn't feel
like walking to the trash.
132
00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:28,179
Hello?
133
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:31,148
Yeah, this is Randy Taylor.
134
00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:33,017
You're kidding!
135
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:35,186
Oh, this is amazing!
136
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:36,654
When?
137
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:40,024
This is great! I'll tell my parents
right away. Thank you so much.
138
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:42,160
Okay, bye.
139
00:07:42,227 --> 00:07:45,196
This is great. Lauren and I
are gonna be back together.
140
00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:47,799
What? They kick her out
of the program already?
141
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,934
I get to go to Costa Rica!
142
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,569
What?
143
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,706
Yeah, some guy dropped out of the
program and they're giving me his spot.
144
00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:57,441
What? They expect you to just
pick up and go just like that?
145
00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,482
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna
be living with a family
146
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,246
in San Ramon, which is only 20
miles from where Lauren lives.
147
00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,515
I leave on Saturday.
148
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:05,016
You can't leave Saturday!
149
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,351
Well, why not? Well, because...
Because it's...
150
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,454
It's the day before
the day of rest.
151
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,031
Don't you need some time
to get stuff together?
152
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,221
Yeah. You have
to get clothes.
153
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,696
You have to get all those shots.
154
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:21,365
Translate your records
into Costa Rican.
155
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:25,603
Guys, I know it's kind
of a rush, but I can do this.
156
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,138
You're sure you're okay with it?
157
00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:28,907
Yeah. It's all
the bananas you can eat.
158
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:29,975
Yeah!
159
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,342
- We're great.
- Yeah.
160
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,543
No, we're really...
Excited.
161
00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:33,915
- We're happy for you, honey.
- Okay, cool.
162
00:08:33,945 --> 00:08:34,979
Great.
I'm gonna go pack.
163
00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:36,481
- We're really happy.
- Yeah.
164
00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,449
Really.
165
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,884
I'm gonna be sick to my stomach.
166
00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:42,520
My child is going
2,000 miles away.
167
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,388
I'm not gonna see him
for a whole year?
168
00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:46,228
Why is it that we agreed to
this thing to begin with?
169
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:48,430
Because six months ago there
were hundreds of applicants.
170
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,232
I mean, now they've picked him.
I can't believe it!
171
00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:53,564
Look, if you don't want him to go,
let's just tell him he can't go.
172
00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:55,667
We can't do that.
He'd hate us.
173
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:57,835
He's a teenager.
He's supposed to hate us.
174
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,439
- No.
- Why? What?
175
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,040
We have to let him go.
We have to.
176
00:09:03,108 --> 00:09:04,279
His girlfriend's gonna be there.
177
00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:06,076
They're both really
committed to the cause.
178
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,549
I mean, he's got
his heart set on it.
179
00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:09,547
So?
180
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,919
When he was eight years old, he
had his heart set on that pony.
181
00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,617
- He never got that.
- Yeah, well,
182
00:09:12,684 --> 00:09:16,420
maybe if we'd given him the pony,
he wouldn't be going to Costa Rica.
183
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:20,090
I still know that pony guy.
184
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,360
I'll cut a deal with the guy.
185
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:25,129
Oh, it's probably a horse by now,
wouldn't it be, 'cause it's...
186
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:32,102
Poncho, insect repellent,
compass, hiking boots.
187
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,505
What am I forgetting?
188
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:37,275
You got underwear?
189
00:09:37,342 --> 00:09:41,379
Of course I have underwear. What
do you think I am? An idiot?
190
00:09:41,446 --> 00:09:44,482
Okay, I'm an idiot.
191
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,885
So I bet you're looking forward to being
down there with Lauren alone, huh?
192
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,255
Brad, it's not
gonna be like that.
193
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:53,458
Lauren's chaperone is 6'2",
250 pounds,
194
00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:57,495
and she is very strict.
195
00:09:57,497 --> 00:10:00,632
Well, I think it's really cool you're
going down there to save the environment.
196
00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:04,135
You don't think I'm crazy
for doing this, do you?
197
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,871
No, no. I don't
think you're crazy.
198
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,307
I mean, I think it's
gonna be kind of weird.
199
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,979
'Cause I figure that
by the time you get back,
200
00:10:11,009 --> 00:10:13,611
I'll probably be headed off
for college, you know?
201
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,881
So this year would've been our
last chance to hang out together.
202
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,884
Yeah. We could've done
some major partying.
203
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,187
Well, I'm not really
the party guy, but...
204
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:26,324
Well, I guess we could've
tortured Mark together.
205
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,360
Yup. I am definitely
gonna miss that.
206
00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:30,928
Of course, you know,
if you want,
207
00:10:30,996 --> 00:10:35,166
I can score you some
Costa Rican itching powder.
208
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:40,471
And if you do, I promise to send
you the pictures of Mark's rash.
209
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,373
Hey, men. What are you
guys talking about?
210
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:45,610
We're actually just talking about
Costa Rican itching powder.
211
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,945
Hey, don't get me started,
all right?
212
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:49,485
Years ago when you
wanted a good itch,
213
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,917
you bought American,
all right? Yeah.
214
00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:56,787
We used to be proud of this country's
novelty products in my day.
215
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,327
All right. I'm gonna go
write to my congressman.
216
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,124
Good work.
217
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,164
While you're at it, why don't
you tell him about the influx
218
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,495
of that fake vomit from Japan?
219
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:07,098
All the bean sprouts in there.
What's that all about?
220
00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:16,174
Now I know where I got
my global consciousness.
221
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:18,075
Freakin' right, man.
222
00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:22,179
- Need any help packing?
- No.
223
00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,749
I think I got everything.
Oh, rain pants.
224
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,918
I need rain pants. You think
Mom could pick me up a pair?
225
00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:31,889
I think your mom would stitch them herself
and drive them down there for you.
226
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:32,824
What do you mean?
227
00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:34,425
Well, you know,
228
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,699
she's having a little trouble
at the thought of you leaving.
229
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,009
She didn't say
anything about it.
230
00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:39,802
I don't think she will. She
won't say anything about it.
231
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,866
But, you know, she's
pretty worried about you
232
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,934
living halfway around the world.
233
00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:45,570
Dad, it's no big deal.
234
00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:48,205
It's like I'm going to
sleep-away camp for a year.
235
00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:50,040
Except this camp,
instead of arts and crafts,
236
00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:53,478
you've got tarantulas
and man-eating fish.
237
00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:57,648
Not to mention the constant
threat of a peasant uprising.
238
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,118
Dad, Costa Rica is the most stable
country in Central America.
239
00:12:01,186 --> 00:12:04,955
Oh, yeah. That's what they
said about Nicaragua.
240
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:08,091
Now the people down there are
deprived of the most basic freedoms.
241
00:12:08,159 --> 00:12:11,995
You can't buy a Chevy big block down there!
You know that?
242
00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:15,799
And this bothers Mom how?
243
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,537
I'm just saying that
she's worried, you know?
244
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,539
I just wanted you to know that.
245
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,275
Just the thought of you moving so
far away is eating her up inside.
246
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,244
If Mom was so
worried about this,
247
00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,949
why did she let me apply to the
program in the first place?
248
00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:29,585
If she knew she was
gonna be this worried,
249
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,286
I don't think she would've
let you apply to the program.
250
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:33,951
Why are you telling me this now, Dad?
I leave tomorrow.
251
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,686
I just thought it
might be interesting
252
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,855
to find out how your mom
feels about it, that's all.
253
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:41,058
Great. So either miss out on
the opportunity of a lifetime
254
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:44,295
or turn my mom
into a basket case?
255
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,230
So you've got options.
256
00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,269
Tah-dah!
257
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,539
I went to camping stores.
258
00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:56,774
The totally mosquito-proof hat.
What do you think?
259
00:12:56,841 --> 00:12:58,142
Mosquito-proof hat.
Great.
260
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,978
I'll be the only kid
in Detroit wearing one.
261
00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:02,213
What's that supposed to mean?
262
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,082
You got your wish.
I'm not going to Costa Rica.
263
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,317
Why? Why not?
264
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,219
Why don't you ask
your middleman?
265
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,590
What just happened here?
266
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,658
It's okay. It's okay.
He'll calm down.
267
00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:16,427
Good news is our
son is now buying
268
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:19,130
his itching powder
right in the US of A.
269
00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,669
Let me get this straight.
270
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:27,037
Randy is not going
to Costa Rica because
271
00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:31,241
you told him that I was worried
about spiders and fish.
272
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,350
And that you were worried
about him being so far away.
273
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:37,715
I covered all the bases.
You don't need to thank me.
274
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:39,083
Thank you.
275
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,251
Well, you're welcome.
276
00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:43,387
Tim, I am worried
about him going,
277
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,522
but I told you I wasn't
gonna stop him!
278
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:47,592
That's why I stopped
him for you.
279
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:51,062
Look, it doesn't matter who stopped him.
The point is he's not going.
280
00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:54,532
So he's gonna miss
this incredible adventure
281
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,735
and spend the rest
of his life blaming me.
282
00:13:57,802 --> 00:14:00,438
You know, I thought you'd be
happy that I fixed things.
283
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,973
Tim, this isn't a leaky faucet
or a broken carburetor.
284
00:14:03,041 --> 00:14:05,676
This is my relationship
with my son!
285
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:08,078
I did not ask you to fix it!
286
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,448
Not literally.
287
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:14,718
But you were sending some very
strong subliminal messages.
288
00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:16,487
- Really? Well...
- Yes! Yes!
289
00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:21,192
Okay, so can you pick up on this message
that I'm sending you right now?
290
00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:28,866
That is not physically possible.
291
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,336
Hey, Wilson.
292
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:34,305
Hidey ho, good neighbor.
293
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,673
What's all the smoke?
294
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,375
I'm roasting Joe.
295
00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:43,347
Well, I don't hear any screams.
296
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,783
He's obviously
taking it like a man.
297
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,754
No, in honor of Randy
going to Costa Rica,
298
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,889
I'm roasting coffee beans.
299
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,424
Randy's not going.
300
00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:55,126
Why not?
301
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:57,895
Because I told him
Jill didn't want him to go.
302
00:14:57,962 --> 00:15:00,130
So the trip is off
just like that?
303
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:01,899
Jill must be very upset
about him going.
304
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:03,634
The only reason I told him that
305
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,574
was because Jill was worried
about his health and safety.
306
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,309
I mean, he's not gonna be
home for Thanksgiving.
307
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:08,477
We won't see him at Christmas.
308
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,078
He won't be here
when I finish the hot rod.
309
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:12,810
Oh. Uh-huh.
310
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:14,749
He's gonna celebrate a
birthday down there, you know.
311
00:15:14,779 --> 00:15:16,347
If we want party pictures,
you know,
312
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:20,351
I'll have to pick up a copy
of National Geographic.
313
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,286
Well, I'm still
back at "ah."
314
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:23,287
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
315
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,588
Huh?
316
00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:28,458
Tim, have you ever
heard of a play...
317
00:15:28,526 --> 00:15:29,960
No, no, no.
318
00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:32,897
No plays, no ballets, no chamber music.
None of that.
319
00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:34,665
Just give it to me straight.
320
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:38,336
I'm talking about the Shakespearean
comedy As You Like It.
321
00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:40,238
Now in this play,
the young Rosalind
322
00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:43,841
is uncomfortable expressing her
feelings for the nobleman Orlando.
323
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:46,310
The only way she can
speak her mind
324
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:50,781
is by dressing up as a man,
the shepherd Ganymede.
325
00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:59,189
Okay. What does a cross-dressing
sheep lover have to do with me?
326
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:02,860
Well, I suspect, just as Rosalind
masqueraded as Ganymede,
327
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,497
perhaps you were
masquerading as Jill.
328
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,469
Once I tried on a pump.
329
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,474
It was Halloween,
for God's sake!
330
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,944
No, I'm talking about
masquerading your feelings.
331
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:23,948
I mean, is Jill really the one who will
miss sharing the hot rod with Randy?
332
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,350
Of course. She's the one...
333
00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:32,389
Are you suggesting I stopped him
from going because of my feelings?
334
00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:35,826
Well, that answer can only
come from the masquerader.
335
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,463
All right, all right.
336
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,066
I tried on the pantyhose, too.
337
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,104
Hi.
338
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,705
Hi.
339
00:16:48,773 --> 00:16:49,840
Is Randy back yet?
340
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,675
No, he's not.
341
00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:53,410
When he gets back,
342
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,981
I'm going to tell him that I'm
okay with him going to Costa Rica.
343
00:16:57,048 --> 00:17:00,618
And you might also tell him that it
was me that had the problem with it.
344
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,020
I don't want him
leaving for a year.
345
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:07,024
You were projecting your feelings on
me because you're in denial about him.
346
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,964
You have all these emotions
you want to express to him.
347
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,728
You just don't know
how to do it.
348
00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:13,501
Yeah, and if you could just tell him
that, you know, I'd call us even.
349
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:16,234
Not gonna happen.
You have to do this.
350
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,336
Randy, guess what?
Good news.
351
00:17:19,404 --> 00:17:22,706
Here are your rain pants.
You are going to Costa Rica.
352
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,542
What? What's changed?
353
00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:26,410
Talk to the middleman.
354
00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:30,380
I don't get it.
355
00:17:30,448 --> 00:17:33,383
Well, it's complicated.
356
00:17:33,451 --> 00:17:36,086
Geez. Here.
Would you slice this for me?
357
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:43,160
Do you remember
your first solid food?
358
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,196
I was seven months old.
359
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:47,731
So you do remember.
360
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:50,134
Your mom tried to get you to
eat that wimpy rice cereal,
361
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,903
but I gave you a bratwurst.
362
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,539
No wonder I became a vegetarian.
363
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,841
So why am I going
to Costa Rica again?
364
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,443
It's complicated.
365
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,047
How did you become 16 already?
366
00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:06,884
Well, I woke up one morning,
I was 15, and thought,
367
00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:09,486
"What the heck!
Let's keep on going."
368
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,255
So back to the Costa Rica thing.
369
00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:14,424
Damn it, I'm gonna miss you.
370
00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:18,562
So you're the one who had
the problem with me leaving?
371
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,233
The longest I've ever been
away from you has been a week.
372
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:25,869
Yeah. And I visited you in the
hospital every single day.
373
00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:31,842
I'm just not comfortable about you
leaving like this, you know? We...
374
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:35,279
We haven't gotten a chance to do half the
stuff I've talked about doing with you.
375
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,281
Like what?
376
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:40,117
We never souped anything up,
even a bicycle.
377
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,819
Come on, Dad.
Don't you remember?
378
00:18:41,886 --> 00:18:45,456
I was the first six-year-old ever
to be pulled over for speeding?
379
00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:48,030
If you'd just ducked into that alley,
that cop would've never seen you.
380
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,427
I know.
381
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,031
You never talked about girls.
382
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:57,034
Well, I'm not leaving until Saturday.
What do you want to know?
383
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:03,774
I laugh with you. Boy,
I'm sure gonna miss you.
384
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,411
Dad, I'm only
gonna be gone a year.
385
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:11,949
Yeah. Yeah.
You can call, you know?
386
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,388
You know, and then when
you get back we can go
387
00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:14,890
on that fly-fishing trip
we talked about.
388
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,688
Yeah. I'd like that.
389
00:19:17,755 --> 00:19:20,858
You know, it takes a lot of courage
to go to a strange country,
390
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:24,394
2,000 miles away. A lot of kids
would be scared to do this.
391
00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:27,397
Well, to be honest, I am scared.
392
00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:31,301
Yeah, I've talked to a lot of
people who've been down there,
393
00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:32,808
but I don't know what
I'm getting in for.
394
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,304
Yeah.
395
00:19:34,372 --> 00:19:36,944
If you got any trouble or any
questions, I'm just a phone call away.
396
00:19:36,974 --> 00:19:40,177
So fill up those rain pants
with quarters, all right?
397
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,412
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.
398
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,748
Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
399
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,816
I'm gonna miss you, too.
400
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,386
But you're gonna be just fine.
You're gonna do well.
401
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,454
- You think so?
- Yeah.
402
00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:54,658
You've survived every
natural disaster known to man
403
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:58,495
right here in this house.
404
00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:03,200
Flight 557 will now begin
boarding through Gate 17.
405
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:05,168
Well, I guess this is it.
406
00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:06,269
Yeah.
407
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,638
Have a good trip, Randy.
408
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,206
Thanks, Mark.
409
00:20:09,273 --> 00:20:14,278
And here's the video I made of you
and Lauren making out in the gazebo.
410
00:20:14,345 --> 00:20:17,280
You're a very odd boy.
411
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:18,482
But I'm gonna miss you.
412
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,051
I'll miss you, too.
413
00:20:21,118 --> 00:20:23,854
You, I'm not gonna miss so much.
414
00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:25,389
Have a good trip, buddy.
415
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,890
Save a tree for me, eh?
416
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:29,025
You got it.
417
00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,126
Dad.
418
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:32,062
I got you a little present.
419
00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:35,499
A recorder, so you can record your thoughts
in the jungle, send them back to us.
420
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,634
We put some stuff
on there like this.
421
00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:40,303
Wear your sun block.
Don't forget to write.
422
00:20:42,173 --> 00:20:44,441
Never look a monkey in the eye.
423
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,279
Thanks, Dad.
424
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:54,752
Mom.
425
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,787
I'm fine. I'm fine.
426
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:59,423
I packed some snacks
in your backpack
427
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:00,862
in case you don't like
the food on the plane.
428
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,493
There's celery.
There's carrots.
429
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,129
Or if you want to mix them together,
there's celery and carrots.
430
00:21:06,197 --> 00:21:07,664
I love you.
431
00:21:07,732 --> 00:21:10,401
I love you, too.
432
00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,469
You have a great time.
433
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:14,905
And don't forget to write.
434
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,407
Call when you get there!
435
00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:18,575
Call before you get there!
436
00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:22,546
Or I could open the emergency door
and just yell out of the plane.
437
00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:43,000
- That'll help.
- This helps.
438
00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:53,676
Costa Rica is the most stable
country in Central America.
439
00:21:53,744 --> 00:21:56,146
That's what they said
about Nicaragua.
439
00:21:57,305 --> 00:22:03,360
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