All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 8- E2

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:08,140 Well, today we kick off the Tool Time lyric-writing contest. 2 00:00:08,207 --> 00:00:10,875 For years our theme song has had no words. 3 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,277 Klaus? 4 00:00:15,848 --> 00:00:19,051 Hey? And a theme song without lyrics is like... 5 00:00:19,118 --> 00:00:22,754 Well, it's like Al's mom without a 5:00 shadow. 6 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:28,693 As I was saying, 7 00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:31,096 Detroit's finest songwriters 8 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:34,866 are vying to have their lyrics be the crown jewel 9 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,702 in the dazzling Tool Time theme! 10 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:41,039 You heard it right. There's no money involved. 11 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,142 Heidi, tell them how the contest works. 12 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,712 Well, our contestant begins to sing and the moment we don't like what we hear... 13 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,013 Flonko! 14 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,117 Well, let's bring out our first contestant. 15 00:00:53,185 --> 00:00:57,088 He is a carpet installer, Wade Waller. 16 00:01:04,596 --> 00:01:05,997 Thank you. 17 00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:07,398 All right. 18 00:01:07,466 --> 00:01:09,233 All right, Waller, let's hear you holler. 19 00:01:11,303 --> 00:01:12,537 One, two, three. 20 00:01:12,604 --> 00:01:14,973 ♪ Here's a song about Tool Time 21 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,141 ♪ It's here now 22 00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:18,309 ♪ Here's a song about Tool Time 23 00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:19,410 ♪ And here it is 24 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,746 ♪ Here's a song about Tool Time 25 00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,014 ♪ Here's a song 26 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:26,818 ♪ Here is the Tool Time song 27 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:30,289 And here's a Tool Time gong. 28 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,191 Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm hello to 29 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,294 The Flannels! 30 00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:45,003 Now there's a good-looking bunch. 31 00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:48,639 Yeah, if you're a single woman at a Scottish mixer, huh? 32 00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:50,208 Where are your instruments, guys? 33 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,444 Oh, we don't have any. We'll be singing Al cappella. 34 00:01:53,512 --> 00:01:55,213 One, two and one. 35 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,018 ♪ Everyone get set for Tool Time 36 00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:02,620 ♪ Wrenches 37 00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:04,690 ♪ Everyone get set for Tool Time 38 00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:05,823 ♪ Ratchets 39 00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:11,096 ♪ Circular, circular, circular, circular 40 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,764 ♪ Saws! 41 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:20,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 42 00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,310 All right! 43 00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:30,148 Well, they are great! 44 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,917 Well, and congratulations, guys. 45 00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,085 You made it into the semi-finals. 46 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,987 ♪ Semi-finals! 47 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,722 Yeah! 48 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,557 You're great. 49 00:02:39,625 --> 00:02:42,327 ♪ Really great! 50 00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:44,228 See you next time. 51 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:48,032 ♪ See us next time! 52 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,234 You're pushing it. 53 00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,669 ♪ We're pushing it! 54 00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:53,671 Our next contestants are a rap group, 55 00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,240 and they are big fans of the show. 56 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,008 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 57 00:02:57,076 --> 00:03:00,711 L.L. Tool J and Grand Master Bath! 58 00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:06,384 What's up? 59 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,653 ♪ Yo, Tim's in the house ♪ Rock the house 60 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,922 ♪ Yo, Tim's in the house ♪ Rock the house 61 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,024 ♪ I say Tim's in the house ♪ Rock the house 62 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,259 ♪ You say Tim's in the house? 63 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:15,727 ♪ Wreck the house 64 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,729 ♪ If you got a nice place ♪ And you want it kept 65 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,898 ♪ Then ban Mr. Tim ♪ Because he's inept 66 00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:21,132 ♪ He'll blow off your roof 67 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,366 ♪ And destroy your kitchen 68 00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:23,534 ♪ And next thing you know 69 00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:24,836 ♪ Your girlfriend's bitchin' 70 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,170 ♪ 'Cause Tim is in the house 71 00:03:26,238 --> 00:03:27,772 ♪ Wreck the house 72 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,340 Yo, what's up with that? 73 00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,776 You dissed the boss. That means you lost. 74 00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:28,133 Now it's only 16 hours, 37 minutes, and 45 seconds 75 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,001 until you leave for Costa Rica. 76 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,405 Forty-four seconds. 77 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:36,975 Randy, maybe we shouldn't spend our last moments together 78 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,811 counting our last moments together. 79 00:04:39,878 --> 00:04:41,679 You're right. 80 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,459 I just can't believe you're gonna be there for a whole year 81 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,022 and I'm not going with you. 82 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,891 I know. You know, when we both applied for this thing, 83 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:57,496 I always pictured the two of us working together in the rainforest. 84 00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,365 You know, we'd spend our mornings protecting endangered species... 85 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:04,068 And our afternoons collecting dung samples. 86 00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:10,108 Look, it'll only be a year. 87 00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:11,547 I'll be back here before you know it. 88 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:12,844 I know. I know. 89 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,782 I'm just really gonna miss you. 90 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,984 I'm gonna miss you, too. 91 00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:23,021 Randy, while I'm gone, would you just promise me one little thing? 92 00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:25,089 Don't worry about it. 93 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,625 I won't look at any other girls, 94 00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,493 except for maybe Tiffany Tucker, 95 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:32,063 who's got that nice mole on her lip shaped like Idaho. 96 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:41,806 Must be so hard saying good-bye for a whole year. 97 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,443 Looks like that kiss is gonna last a whole year. 98 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,245 I hate to admit it. 99 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,415 I am so glad that he didn't get into that program. 100 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,618 I'd hate to have my child living in a jungle in Central America. 101 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,720 I think it will be a great experience for Lauren. 102 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,922 She gets to frolic in the sun, pick some coffee, 103 00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:01,526 come back home with a nice tan, and really wide awake. 104 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,499 Well, that's it. Lauren's on her way. 105 00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,868 How are you? 106 00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:11,703 I'm all right. A little sad. 107 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:14,406 Hey, of course you're sad. 108 00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:17,642 What you need is something to take your mind off this, okay? 109 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,511 You know, when I have young girlfriends 110 00:06:19,578 --> 00:06:21,879 that leave me for the jungle... 111 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,483 When something bad happens to me, 112 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,652 I go to the garage and work on cars. 113 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,790 When anything happens to you, you go to the garage and work on cars. 114 00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:34,593 You know what's weird is that it was my idea to apply to the program 115 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,061 in the first place. 116 00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:38,262 Now she's going and I'm not. 117 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:41,833 Things happen for a reason. I mean, maybe Lauren was just meant to go. 118 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,770 Yeah. You know how the world works. 119 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,705 They always favor the woman. 120 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,710 What are you doing? 121 00:06:52,777 --> 00:06:54,778 I'm putting a scrapbook together for Lauren. 122 00:06:54,846 --> 00:06:58,483 Each item represents some special moment in our relationship. 123 00:06:58,550 --> 00:06:59,750 Pasta? 124 00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:04,022 Yeah. That's from our first date together. 125 00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:07,025 Good thing you didn't have fish. 126 00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,527 Yeah. I'm gonna send this to Lauren down in Costa Rica 127 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,063 so she'll have something that reminds her of me. 128 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,132 Yeah, I think that's really nice of you, Randy. 129 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,968 Here. You should put that in there, too, man. 130 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,736 What's the significance of this? 131 00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:22,340 Nothing. I just didn't feel like walking to the trash. 132 00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:28,179 Hello? 133 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:31,148 Yeah, this is Randy Taylor. 134 00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:33,017 You're kidding! 135 00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:35,186 Oh, this is amazing! 136 00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:36,654 When? 137 00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:40,024 This is great! I'll tell my parents right away. Thank you so much. 138 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:42,160 Okay, bye. 139 00:07:42,227 --> 00:07:45,196 This is great. Lauren and I are gonna be back together. 140 00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:47,799 What? They kick her out of the program already? 141 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,934 I get to go to Costa Rica! 142 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,569 What? 143 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,706 Yeah, some guy dropped out of the program and they're giving me his spot. 144 00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:57,441 What? They expect you to just pick up and go just like that? 145 00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,482 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be living with a family 146 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,246 in San Ramon, which is only 20 miles from where Lauren lives. 147 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,515 I leave on Saturday. 148 00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:05,016 You can't leave Saturday! 149 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,351 Well, why not? Well, because... Because it's... 150 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,454 It's the day before the day of rest. 151 00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,031 Don't you need some time to get stuff together? 152 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,221 Yeah. You have to get clothes. 153 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,696 You have to get all those shots. 154 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:21,365 Translate your records into Costa Rican. 155 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:25,603 Guys, I know it's kind of a rush, but I can do this. 156 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,138 You're sure you're okay with it? 157 00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:28,907 Yeah. It's all the bananas you can eat. 158 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:29,975 Yeah! 159 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,342 - We're great. - Yeah. 160 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,543 No, we're really... Excited. 161 00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:33,915 - We're happy for you, honey. - Okay, cool. 162 00:08:33,945 --> 00:08:34,979 Great. I'm gonna go pack. 163 00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:36,481 - We're really happy. - Yeah. 164 00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,449 Really. 165 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,884 I'm gonna be sick to my stomach. 166 00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:42,520 My child is going 2,000 miles away. 167 00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,388 I'm not gonna see him for a whole year? 168 00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:46,228 Why is it that we agreed to this thing to begin with? 169 00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:48,430 Because six months ago there were hundreds of applicants. 170 00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,232 I mean, now they've picked him. I can't believe it! 171 00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:53,564 Look, if you don't want him to go, let's just tell him he can't go. 172 00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:55,667 We can't do that. He'd hate us. 173 00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:57,835 He's a teenager. He's supposed to hate us. 174 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,439 - No. - Why? What? 175 00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,040 We have to let him go. We have to. 176 00:09:03,108 --> 00:09:04,279 His girlfriend's gonna be there. 177 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:06,076 They're both really committed to the cause. 178 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,549 I mean, he's got his heart set on it. 179 00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:09,547 So? 180 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,919 When he was eight years old, he had his heart set on that pony. 181 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,617 - He never got that. - Yeah, well, 182 00:09:12,684 --> 00:09:16,420 maybe if we'd given him the pony, he wouldn't be going to Costa Rica. 183 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:20,090 I still know that pony guy. 184 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,360 I'll cut a deal with the guy. 185 00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:25,129 Oh, it's probably a horse by now, wouldn't it be, 'cause it's... 186 00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:32,102 Poncho, insect repellent, compass, hiking boots. 187 00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,505 What am I forgetting? 188 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:37,275 You got underwear? 189 00:09:37,342 --> 00:09:41,379 Of course I have underwear. What do you think I am? An idiot? 190 00:09:41,446 --> 00:09:44,482 Okay, I'm an idiot. 191 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,885 So I bet you're looking forward to being down there with Lauren alone, huh? 192 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,255 Brad, it's not gonna be like that. 193 00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:53,458 Lauren's chaperone is 6'2", 250 pounds, 194 00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:57,495 and she is very strict. 195 00:09:57,497 --> 00:10:00,632 Well, I think it's really cool you're going down there to save the environment. 196 00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:04,135 You don't think I'm crazy for doing this, do you? 197 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,871 No, no. I don't think you're crazy. 198 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,307 I mean, I think it's gonna be kind of weird. 199 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,979 'Cause I figure that by the time you get back, 200 00:10:11,009 --> 00:10:13,611 I'll probably be headed off for college, you know? 201 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,881 So this year would've been our last chance to hang out together. 202 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,884 Yeah. We could've done some major partying. 203 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,187 Well, I'm not really the party guy, but... 204 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:26,324 Well, I guess we could've tortured Mark together. 205 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,360 Yup. I am definitely gonna miss that. 206 00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:30,928 Of course, you know, if you want, 207 00:10:30,996 --> 00:10:35,166 I can score you some Costa Rican itching powder. 208 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:40,471 And if you do, I promise to send you the pictures of Mark's rash. 209 00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,373 Hey, men. What are you guys talking about? 210 00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:45,610 We're actually just talking about Costa Rican itching powder. 211 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,945 Hey, don't get me started, all right? 212 00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:49,485 Years ago when you wanted a good itch, 213 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,917 you bought American, all right? Yeah. 214 00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:56,787 We used to be proud of this country's novelty products in my day. 215 00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,327 All right. I'm gonna go write to my congressman. 216 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,124 Good work. 217 00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,164 While you're at it, why don't you tell him about the influx 218 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,495 of that fake vomit from Japan? 219 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:07,098 All the bean sprouts in there. What's that all about? 220 00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:16,174 Now I know where I got my global consciousness. 221 00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:18,075 Freakin' right, man. 222 00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:22,179 - Need any help packing? - No. 223 00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,749 I think I got everything. Oh, rain pants. 224 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,918 I need rain pants. You think Mom could pick me up a pair? 225 00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:31,889 I think your mom would stitch them herself and drive them down there for you. 226 00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:32,824 What do you mean? 227 00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:34,425 Well, you know, 228 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,699 she's having a little trouble at the thought of you leaving. 229 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,009 She didn't say anything about it. 230 00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:39,802 I don't think she will. She won't say anything about it. 231 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,866 But, you know, she's pretty worried about you 232 00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,934 living halfway around the world. 233 00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:45,570 Dad, it's no big deal. 234 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:48,205 It's like I'm going to sleep-away camp for a year. 235 00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:50,040 Except this camp, instead of arts and crafts, 236 00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:53,478 you've got tarantulas and man-eating fish. 237 00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:57,648 Not to mention the constant threat of a peasant uprising. 238 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,118 Dad, Costa Rica is the most stable country in Central America. 239 00:12:01,186 --> 00:12:04,955 Oh, yeah. That's what they said about Nicaragua. 240 00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:08,091 Now the people down there are deprived of the most basic freedoms. 241 00:12:08,159 --> 00:12:11,995 You can't buy a Chevy big block down there! You know that? 242 00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:15,799 And this bothers Mom how? 243 00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,537 I'm just saying that she's worried, you know? 244 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,539 I just wanted you to know that. 245 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,275 Just the thought of you moving so far away is eating her up inside. 246 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,244 If Mom was so worried about this, 247 00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,949 why did she let me apply to the program in the first place? 248 00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:29,585 If she knew she was gonna be this worried, 249 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,286 I don't think she would've let you apply to the program. 250 00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:33,951 Why are you telling me this now, Dad? I leave tomorrow. 251 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,686 I just thought it might be interesting 252 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,855 to find out how your mom feels about it, that's all. 253 00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:41,058 Great. So either miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime 254 00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:44,295 or turn my mom into a basket case? 255 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,230 So you've got options. 256 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,269 Tah-dah! 257 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,539 I went to camping stores. 258 00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:56,774 The totally mosquito-proof hat. What do you think? 259 00:12:56,841 --> 00:12:58,142 Mosquito-proof hat. Great. 260 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,978 I'll be the only kid in Detroit wearing one. 261 00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:02,213 What's that supposed to mean? 262 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,082 You got your wish. I'm not going to Costa Rica. 263 00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,317 Why? Why not? 264 00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,219 Why don't you ask your middleman? 265 00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,590 What just happened here? 266 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,658 It's okay. It's okay. He'll calm down. 267 00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:16,427 Good news is our son is now buying 268 00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:19,130 his itching powder right in the US of A. 269 00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,669 Let me get this straight. 270 00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:27,037 Randy is not going to Costa Rica because 271 00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:31,241 you told him that I was worried about spiders and fish. 272 00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,350 And that you were worried about him being so far away. 273 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:37,715 I covered all the bases. You don't need to thank me. 274 00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:39,083 Thank you. 275 00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,251 Well, you're welcome. 276 00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:43,387 Tim, I am worried about him going, 277 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,522 but I told you I wasn't gonna stop him! 278 00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:47,592 That's why I stopped him for you. 279 00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:51,062 Look, it doesn't matter who stopped him. The point is he's not going. 280 00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:54,532 So he's gonna miss this incredible adventure 281 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,735 and spend the rest of his life blaming me. 282 00:13:57,802 --> 00:14:00,438 You know, I thought you'd be happy that I fixed things. 283 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,973 Tim, this isn't a leaky faucet or a broken carburetor. 284 00:14:03,041 --> 00:14:05,676 This is my relationship with my son! 285 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:08,078 I did not ask you to fix it! 286 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,448 Not literally. 287 00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:14,718 But you were sending some very strong subliminal messages. 288 00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:16,487 - Really? Well... - Yes! Yes! 289 00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:21,192 Okay, so can you pick up on this message that I'm sending you right now? 290 00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:28,866 That is not physically possible. 291 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,336 Hey, Wilson. 292 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:34,305 Hidey ho, good neighbor. 293 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,673 What's all the smoke? 294 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,375 I'm roasting Joe. 295 00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:43,347 Well, I don't hear any screams. 296 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,783 He's obviously taking it like a man. 297 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,754 No, in honor of Randy going to Costa Rica, 298 00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,889 I'm roasting coffee beans. 299 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,424 Randy's not going. 300 00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:55,126 Why not? 301 00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:57,895 Because I told him Jill didn't want him to go. 302 00:14:57,962 --> 00:15:00,130 So the trip is off just like that? 303 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:01,899 Jill must be very upset about him going. 304 00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:03,634 The only reason I told him that 305 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,574 was because Jill was worried about his health and safety. 306 00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,309 I mean, he's not gonna be home for Thanksgiving. 307 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:08,477 We won't see him at Christmas. 308 00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,078 He won't be here when I finish the hot rod. 309 00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:12,810 Oh. Uh-huh. 310 00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:14,749 He's gonna celebrate a birthday down there, you know. 311 00:15:14,779 --> 00:15:16,347 If we want party pictures, you know, 312 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:20,351 I'll have to pick up a copy of National Geographic. 313 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,286 Well, I'm still back at "ah." 314 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:23,287 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 315 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,588 Huh? 316 00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:28,458 Tim, have you ever heard of a play... 317 00:15:28,526 --> 00:15:29,960 No, no, no. 318 00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:32,897 No plays, no ballets, no chamber music. None of that. 319 00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:34,665 Just give it to me straight. 320 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:38,336 I'm talking about the Shakespearean comedy As You Like It. 321 00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:40,238 Now in this play, the young Rosalind 322 00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:43,841 is uncomfortable expressing her feelings for the nobleman Orlando. 323 00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:46,310 The only way she can speak her mind 324 00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:50,781 is by dressing up as a man, the shepherd Ganymede. 325 00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:59,189 Okay. What does a cross-dressing sheep lover have to do with me? 326 00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:02,860 Well, I suspect, just as Rosalind masqueraded as Ganymede, 327 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,497 perhaps you were masquerading as Jill. 328 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,469 Once I tried on a pump. 329 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,474 It was Halloween, for God's sake! 330 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,944 No, I'm talking about masquerading your feelings. 331 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:23,948 I mean, is Jill really the one who will miss sharing the hot rod with Randy? 332 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,350 Of course. She's the one... 333 00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:32,389 Are you suggesting I stopped him from going because of my feelings? 334 00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:35,826 Well, that answer can only come from the masquerader. 335 00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,463 All right, all right. 336 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,066 I tried on the pantyhose, too. 337 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,104 Hi. 338 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,705 Hi. 339 00:16:48,773 --> 00:16:49,840 Is Randy back yet? 340 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,675 No, he's not. 341 00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:53,410 When he gets back, 342 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,981 I'm going to tell him that I'm okay with him going to Costa Rica. 343 00:16:57,048 --> 00:17:00,618 And you might also tell him that it was me that had the problem with it. 344 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,020 I don't want him leaving for a year. 345 00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:07,024 You were projecting your feelings on me because you're in denial about him. 346 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,964 You have all these emotions you want to express to him. 347 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,728 You just don't know how to do it. 348 00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:13,501 Yeah, and if you could just tell him that, you know, I'd call us even. 349 00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:16,234 Not gonna happen. You have to do this. 350 00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,336 Randy, guess what? Good news. 351 00:17:19,404 --> 00:17:22,706 Here are your rain pants. You are going to Costa Rica. 352 00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,542 What? What's changed? 353 00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:26,410 Talk to the middleman. 354 00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:30,380 I don't get it. 355 00:17:30,448 --> 00:17:33,383 Well, it's complicated. 356 00:17:33,451 --> 00:17:36,086 Geez. Here. Would you slice this for me? 357 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:43,160 Do you remember your first solid food? 358 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,196 I was seven months old. 359 00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:47,731 So you do remember. 360 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:50,134 Your mom tried to get you to eat that wimpy rice cereal, 361 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,903 but I gave you a bratwurst. 362 00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,539 No wonder I became a vegetarian. 363 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,841 So why am I going to Costa Rica again? 364 00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,443 It's complicated. 365 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,047 How did you become 16 already? 366 00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:06,884 Well, I woke up one morning, I was 15, and thought, 367 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:09,486 "What the heck! Let's keep on going." 368 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,255 So back to the Costa Rica thing. 369 00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:14,424 Damn it, I'm gonna miss you. 370 00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:18,562 So you're the one who had the problem with me leaving? 371 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,233 The longest I've ever been away from you has been a week. 372 00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:25,869 Yeah. And I visited you in the hospital every single day. 373 00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:31,842 I'm just not comfortable about you leaving like this, you know? We... 374 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:35,279 We haven't gotten a chance to do half the stuff I've talked about doing with you. 375 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,281 Like what? 376 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:40,117 We never souped anything up, even a bicycle. 377 00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,819 Come on, Dad. Don't you remember? 378 00:18:41,886 --> 00:18:45,456 I was the first six-year-old ever to be pulled over for speeding? 379 00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:48,030 If you'd just ducked into that alley, that cop would've never seen you. 380 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,427 I know. 381 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,031 You never talked about girls. 382 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:57,034 Well, I'm not leaving until Saturday. What do you want to know? 383 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:03,774 I laugh with you. Boy, I'm sure gonna miss you. 384 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,411 Dad, I'm only gonna be gone a year. 385 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:11,949 Yeah. Yeah. You can call, you know? 386 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,388 You know, and then when you get back we can go 387 00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:14,890 on that fly-fishing trip we talked about. 388 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,688 Yeah. I'd like that. 389 00:19:17,755 --> 00:19:20,858 You know, it takes a lot of courage to go to a strange country, 390 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:24,394 2,000 miles away. A lot of kids would be scared to do this. 391 00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:27,397 Well, to be honest, I am scared. 392 00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:31,301 Yeah, I've talked to a lot of people who've been down there, 393 00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:32,808 but I don't know what I'm getting in for. 394 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,304 Yeah. 395 00:19:34,372 --> 00:19:36,944 If you got any trouble or any questions, I'm just a phone call away. 396 00:19:36,974 --> 00:19:40,177 So fill up those rain pants with quarters, all right? 397 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,412 - Thanks, Dad. - Yeah. 398 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,748 Oh, I'm gonna miss you. 399 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,816 I'm gonna miss you, too. 400 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,386 But you're gonna be just fine. You're gonna do well. 401 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,454 - You think so? - Yeah. 402 00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:54,658 You've survived every natural disaster known to man 403 00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:58,495 right here in this house. 404 00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:03,200 Flight 557 will now begin boarding through Gate 17. 405 00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:05,168 Well, I guess this is it. 406 00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:06,269 Yeah. 407 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,638 Have a good trip, Randy. 408 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,206 Thanks, Mark. 409 00:20:09,273 --> 00:20:14,278 And here's the video I made of you and Lauren making out in the gazebo. 410 00:20:14,345 --> 00:20:17,280 You're a very odd boy. 411 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:18,482 But I'm gonna miss you. 412 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,051 I'll miss you, too. 413 00:20:21,118 --> 00:20:23,854 You, I'm not gonna miss so much. 414 00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:25,389 Have a good trip, buddy. 415 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,890 Save a tree for me, eh? 416 00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:29,025 You got it. 417 00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,126 Dad. 418 00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:32,062 I got you a little present. 419 00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:35,499 A recorder, so you can record your thoughts in the jungle, send them back to us. 420 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,634 We put some stuff on there like this. 421 00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:40,303 Wear your sun block. Don't forget to write. 422 00:20:42,173 --> 00:20:44,441 Never look a monkey in the eye. 423 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,279 Thanks, Dad. 424 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:54,752 Mom. 425 00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,787 I'm fine. I'm fine. 426 00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:59,423 I packed some snacks in your backpack 427 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:00,862 in case you don't like the food on the plane. 428 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,493 There's celery. There's carrots. 429 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,129 Or if you want to mix them together, there's celery and carrots. 430 00:21:06,197 --> 00:21:07,664 I love you. 431 00:21:07,732 --> 00:21:10,401 I love you, too. 432 00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,469 You have a great time. 433 00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:14,905 And don't forget to write. 434 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,407 Call when you get there! 435 00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:18,575 Call before you get there! 436 00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:22,546 Or I could open the emergency door and just yell out of the plane. 437 00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:43,000 - That'll help. - This helps. 438 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:53,676 Costa Rica is the most stable country in Central America. 439 00:21:53,744 --> 00:21:56,146 That's what they said about Nicaragua. 439 00:21:57,305 --> 00:22:03,360 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 34203

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