All language subtitles for Frasier S11E04 The Babysitter

Oh, now look at that couch.

Now this is something you could
consider for your new office,

although I'm not
sure how well--

what is that-- sort of
linen is going to wear...

Oh, you know what I'm going to wear

to the opera fund-raiser
on Friday night...

or is it Saturday? I'll check my book .

A lovely linen shirt
with my new Zegna suit.

That's a funny word, "Zegna. "

The "g" is silent.

Silent "g" like lasagna.

Niles? Yes?

Do you notice that?

You've been awfully chatty lately.

No, but Daphne mentioned
it to me this morning.

Ooh, what about this one?

Frasier, you really
must make a decision.

We've been to six stores already.

Oh, and that reminds me.

I must cancel our
squash game tomorrow...

Don't you hear that?

Yes, now that you mention it, I do.

It's sort of like a
nervous tic of some kind .

I wonder what could be causing it.

Well, let's see-- you do
have a baby on the way.

Perhaps your incessant jabbering

is just a way of distracting yourself

from this life-changing event.

How could I have missed
something so obvious?

Well, it's not so hard to believe.

You were 1 5 before you
realiZed there was a correlation

between getting beaten up every day

and going to school in a Panama hat.

(whispering) : Niles! Mm-hmm.

Does that woman look familiar to you?

No, but you know what does?

This couch... we're
back where we started.

Will you pick something?

Oh, my God.

That's Ronee Lawrence.

Who?

She used to baby-sit for us.

Oh, my God. I-I had a crush on her.

She's the first girl
to ever break my heart.

I used to watch her through the banister

making out with her boyfriend... chad.

Ronee Lawrence...

she's the fiend who told me

all those ghastly bedtime stories

about tiny insects that
would crawl into my ears

and eat my brain.

Earwigs.

I-I wore a football helmet to bed

for a month after that.

Yes, yes, I know.

You really had Dad's
hopes up there for a while.

Excuse me... are you Ronee Lawrence?

Well, that's what it
says on my driver's...

Wait a sec.

Frasier?

Hello, Ronee. Oh, my God, it is you!

Good to see you.

Niles and I were just...

Niles... oh, my God.

Little nervous Niles.

I can't believe it!

Well, it's all terribly true.

Wow, you look fantastic.

Oh, well, it's a lot of work.

Of course it is-- you
know, exercise, dieting...

No, I've had a lot of work.

Every time anything sags, drags or bags,

I get Dr. Goldman right on top of it.

And then I call a plastic surgeon.

Oh... that's funny.

Well, it's nice running into you.

FRASIER: Oh, Niles, we've
got a moment, I think.

So what have you been up to?

Oh, I sing and play the piano

at the Wellington Hotel.

Oh, great, great.

Of course I know what you do,

Mr. Big
- Time Radio Shrink.

Well, actually, I'm getting ba
into private practice as well.

In fact, we're here today,

picking out a couch for my new office.

I saw you checking
out the Barcaloungers.

You... buying a chair for your husband?

Only if it's wired for electricity.

We're divorced.

Oh... oh, well...

You know, you must come by the house

to do a proper catch-up.

I know my Dad would
love to see you again.

RONEE: Actually, I'm free tonight.

Well, then how about
cocktails around 7:00?

I'm at the Elliot Bay
Towers on the counterbalance.

Great. It'll be just like old times,

except you get to stay up late.

Hey, Niles, do you remember

when I used to tell you
those scary bedtime stories?

No, not really.

Yeah, you thought there were earwig eggs

on all the furniture

and you started taking
one of those hankies out

and wiping off all the chairs
before you'd sit in them

because you were afraid
that whoo-whoo-whoo.

Nothing still. I'm sorry.

I'm glad.

For a while there, I was afraid

that maybe I'd scarred
you for life. Bloop.

Well, I gotta run.
I'll see you guys tonight.

All right. Bye.

(laughing)

Okay, go ahead, Niles.

Oh, she put her fingers in my ears...

I understand.

Yeah, give it a good wipe. That's it.

So, Frasier, did you find a couch?

No. I must have tested 1 00 for him.

You know, have some sympathy, Niles.

Obviously my foot-dragging
is a kind of avoidance.

After all, I haven't been in
private practice for 1 2 years.

Maybe I don't have the skills anymore.

Don't worry.

Your patients will never notice.

Well, if he doesn't pick a couch soon,

his patients will be lying on the floor.

What is this? Oh, it's
olive tapenade, mmm.

You're going to an awful lot of trouble

for a "drop by sometime"
kind of evening.

Here, Daphne, try this
one... Oh, try one...

Oh-oh-oh,
spring rolls.

... Oh, we found the
best chinese restaurant

Niles! Sorry, darling.

Still got the gift of gab, I see.

I really don't know why you
insisted we be here tonight.

I just didn't want Ronee to think

I was coming on too strong.

I was hoping this reunion
might start a countdown

toward a future lift-off
from cape crane-averal.

If you tortured that metaphor any more,

you'd be before a tribunal in The Hague.

FRASIER: Oh, Dad, hey.

Hey, guys.

Wow, what's with the fancy spread?

day Niles and I ran
into Ronee Lawrence to

and she's coming over for cocktails.

You remember-- our
old baby-sitter.

Oh, yeah, I remember Ronee.

Pretty little thing, yeah.

How's she looking these days?

Had her eyes pulled so tight,

she could land a role
in Flower Drum Song

She happens to look fabulous.

(doorbell rings)

Which you will soon see for yourself.

She's playing piano
down at the Wellington.

Ronee, hi. come on in.

Good to see you.

Meet my
sister-in-law, Daphne.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

FRASIER: Remember my Dad?

Oh, I sure do. How are you, Mr. crane?

It's Marty and I'm just great.

Gee, you haven't changed a bit.

Oh, yes, I have. I can legally drink now.

Hint, hint.

Oh, right. Would you
like a glass of wine?

Yes, thank you.

Dad, why don't you get yourself a beer?

So, Ronee, what have you
been doing all these years?

RONEE: Singing, mostly.

I play at the RendeZvous Room

down at the Wellington Hotel.

Is that that place that revolves?

It used to. It broke two years ago.

(laughing) : That's terrific.

RONEE: Yeah, I had a couple
of shots at the big time:

You know, sang in some swanky rooms.

I even made an album: "Ronee Lawrence:

Mood Swings. "

It sold about seven copies

and that's when Ronee Lawrence
had herself a real mood swing.

Well, I'm sure the
album was just wonderful.

You know, maybe I could interest you

in a duet a little later?

Oh, that'd be fun.

Wouldn't it, though?

I have a feeling that our
musical styles just might harmo...

t MARTIN: So, Ronee, I'll be

you really wow 'em at the RendeZvous.

Well, you know it's no
t exactly carnegie Hall.

Most of them are half in the bag

and just trying not
to spill their drinks.

And I'm just talking about
the cocktail waitresses.

This girl's a riot!

Dad, could you help me

with something in the kitchen?

Now? Right now.

Hey, don't be too long, you two.

Mama likes an audience.

Good, 'cause Daddy likes to watch.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I was working my magic on her.

Why are you so upset?

Because I'm working a
little magic of my own

and your magic is mucking up my magic.

I thought you brought her here for me.

Since when do I "bring" you women?

What are you, the Sultan of Brunei?

(cell phone rings)

Hello?

What?

Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah... yeah, okay, I guess.

I'll see you in a bit. Something wrong?

Oh, I have to go into work.

I can't believe it.

The guy who fills in on my
night off called in sick.

Oh, no. Sorry.

Promise me we'll do this again.

Oh, you know we will. count on that.

couldn't keep us away.

Frasier, you owe me a duet.

It was great to see you, Marty.

You should all come down
to the club sometime.

You can count on that, too.

We'll be there with bells on.

Bye.

Bye-bye. See you later.

I can't believe the way
you are humiliating yourself,

a man your age.

Hey, she was flirting with me.

She was flirting with me.

You just got caught in the crossfire.

Daphne, which one of
us was she attracted to?

How stupid do you think I am?

Does it say "stupid" on me forehead?

Fine. If you insist on
humiliating yourself, how's this:

I'll invite Ronee over
for dinner this weekend

and she can choose for herself.

Agreed? Fine.

Make sure she brings a friend
so there's someone for you.

I'm going to McGinty's.

You don't suppose he's sneaking down

to the RendeZvous, do you?

No. Only a scoundrel

would violate a gentleman's
agreement that way.

Quite right.

Dad is nothing if not an honorable man.

I don't know what I was thinking.

can we give you a lift down there?

No, I want to freshen up first.

See yourselves out.

e?? ?? Don't change a hair for m

You've only got the two.

?? Not if you care for me...??

It's a good thing you've got money.

?? Stay, little valentine, stay...??

Like you've got anywhere else to be.

?? ... ?? Each day is valentine's Day

(applause)

I'm going to take a little break.

Try not to kill yourselves
from disappointment, hmm?

Hey! Frasier, what a nice surprise.

I guess I just didn't want our
little reunion to end so abruptly.

Well, you're not the only one.

I had a feeling you might say that.

There you go, Ronee.

Thanks. Hey, Fras.

Dad! Yeah, Marty didn't want
to call it a night, either.

He's quite the party guy.

Walter, you're alive!

You said you were going to McGinty's.

How long have you been here?

45 minutes-- you
shouldn't have spent

so much time on your hair, Louise.

So, boys, who needs a drink?

Yeah, I'll have another beer.

You know, Dad, you really
ought to slow down there.

You know, at his age,
one slip and it's the Icu

and then it's "I see you later".

Well, I wouldn't worry about me, Fras.

I don't feel any older now than I did

when you were parading
around in your mother's heels.

(chuckling) : Oh, well...

'course, that was just last christmas.

Listen, I've got to do another set.

Are you going to stick around?

Oh, you bet we are. Yeah, sure,
wouldn't miss it. Oh, absolutely, yeah

Ronee got me a ringside
table right next to her.

And that's because I want you

and your pockets right near my tip jar.

Oh, you're after my money, huh?

Say, Ronee, it's
such a beautiful piano.

It's a shame we didn't get
a chance to do our duet.

Well, let's do it now. Really?

Sure. You don't mind scrunching, do you?

My bench is a little small.

I don't mind scrunching at all.

RONEE: Hey, listen, is it just me

or am I getting some
signals here tonight?

Oh, it is most definitely not just you.

Hi, drinkers. I'm back.

And no, no, you're not
seeing double, for once--

I have a guest with me tonight.

Believe it or not, I
used to baby-sit this guy.

I know. I know. How
does she stay so young?

AUDIENcE MEMBERS: Dr. Goldman!

Aren't they adorable?

Please welcome Dr. Frasier crane.

You know this one?

Oh, I love this song.

Oh, me, too.

You know, and I'd like to
sing it to someone special

who's here tonight, but, well,

I'm afraid it might embarrass him.

Oh, I'm sure your special someone
would just love to hear it.

Really?

Okay, then, here goes.

(plays intro)

?? I get no kick from champagne??

?? Mere alcohol doesn't
thrill me at all??

?? So tell me, then??

?? Why should it be true??

?? That I get a kick??

?? Out of you??

(Frasier misplays chords)

(resumes playing harmoniously)
?? I think you're cute??

?? Marty crane??

?? .. (playing increasingly loudly) ??
I think that if your poor hip wasn't stiff

?? You could dance
just terrifically, too??

?? .. ?? And I get a kick out of you.

(plays final chords loudly)

(woman over Tv) I'd like a "T."'

I'd like to buy a vowel.

Frasier? Do you realiZe
the door is wide open?

Yeah.

PiZZa guy forgot to
close it when he left.

What are you doing here?

Don 't you remember?

We had plans to watch
Don Giovannion PBS.

I'm kind of into Wheel
of Fortuneright now.

Wow, you look awfully dapper.

Yeah, I'm meeting a friend.

Dad, you don't have to be so coy.

I know where you're going.

I'm having dinner with Ronee .

So things are going well? Oh, yeah.

Great, great.

Turns out she had a crush on me

back in the days she
used to sit with you boys.

Well, I better scoot.

See you, boys.

NILES: Bye, Dad.

Ooh, are those profiteroles?

Sorry. Did you want one?

No, but thanks for offering.

Frasier, what's going on with you?

You're showing classic
signs of depression.

That's because I'm depressed you nit.

But why?

Ronee and you aren't compatible.

You have few interests in common.

. She's as coarse as sandpaper..

I know. I know there was
no future for me and Ronee.

.. It's just.

I'm depressed, Niles.

I... I...

I don't know why.

Wait a minute.

Yeah?

Wait a minute.

I think I can make a
really great sandwich

out of all of my leftover chutneys.

Frasier, you have got
to snap out of this.

You start seeing patients soon.

You realiZe you're only
using food to fill a void...

Oh! I forgot to void that
check to the dry cleaner.

I got my camel coat home.

It had a spot the siZe of a Krugerrand.

I know for a fact it
was not there when...

Niles.

Sorry.

What are you doing with Dad's velveeta?

t. What do you think I'm doing
with it?I'm going to eat i

Okay, Frasier, this isn't funny anymore.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

It's viagra.

They give that away with velveeta?

No.

It's a prescription for Martin crane.

Why do you suppose he
would put it in here?

Hiding it, I assume.

What better place than a box

that Pandora herself
would be loath to open.

(door opening)

It's Dad!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

(both sputtering)

Put it away!

Right, right.

(muffled yell)

Dad, what are you doing back so soon?

I forgot something.

My, um... brella.

Well, you're certainly not
going to find it in the kitchen.

No, I guess not.

Oh, I just
remembered--

Ronee wanted me to get her an appetiZer.

What looks good?

Oh, velvetta. That goes with anything.

All right, well...

You boys have got your
opera that you want to watch,

so I'll just get out of your way.

See you later.

Now what?

Okay, okay...

We've got time to think.

It's going to take him a while
to discover that the pills...

All right, where is it?

Frasier took them.

Dad...

This is pretty funny to you, huh?

No, sir. Then what is it?

You're still so sore about Ronee,

you're trying to mess things up for me?

No, Dad, I found them by accident.

I tried to put them back.

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

Here.

Oh, forget it.

I'm just going to cancel with Ronee.

Dad...

No, the whole night's ruined anyway.

But the important thing is
you boys had your little laugh.

Well, I'm glad someone enjoyed it,

because I'm starting to think

that it's just too much trouble.

I'm just going to break it off.

Why would you do that, Dad?

I mean, you're not going
to let what happened tonight

end things with Ronee, are you?

Is there something else going on here?

.. Well, I don't know. I.

Ronee and I have been getting
kind of close this week, and...

Last night we started fooling around

and it was great.

I mean, I was rounding the bases.

The coach was waving me in.

There wasn't even going to
be a play at the plate...

Dad, it's us.

Oh, right.

.. Well, anyway, that's
when something happened.

. or didn't happen..

which has never not
happened before. So...

I decided today to go out to get some...

cheese.

I just couldn't stop picturing
her the way she looked

when she was a teenager.

It was creepy.

And even with...

cheese,

I don't think I'd ever
feel about being with her.

Dad, when she was baby-sitting for us,

did you ever notice her?

Yeah, she was a very pretty girl.

And did Mom ever notice you noticing ?

Oh, yeah.

Even had a fight once about it.

Well, there you are.

You're still feeling guilt and shame

for being attracted to
her all those years ago.

But she's an adult now,

and you really should allow yourself

to explore these feelings.

very good, Frasier.

Thank you, Niles.

You know...

perhaps my depression over losing Ronee

was actually rooted in my feelings
for her from long ago as well.

After all, she's the first
woman to reject me,

though she never knew it.

I...

Perhaps by pursuing her again,

I was hoping to undo
that first rejection,

thereby erasing all the
subsequent rejections in my life

and giving myself a much
needed shot of self-esteem.

Did you hear that?!

My analytical skills are on fire!

Your own-horn-tooting skills
haven't abandoned you either.

So much for worrying about
whether I'm ready to get back

into private practice.

The answer is a resounding yes.

Well, you better be sure

because it's a completely
different animal, and...

I just remembered the Zoo'
s having a fund-raiser.

I signed you up for $200.
That's the safari level.

You know who has malaria?

FRASIER: Niles! Missus...

Do you realiZe that
your babbling kicks in

whenever I mention my
return to private practice?

Perhaps this condition

of yours has less to
do with baby jitters

and more to do with my
entering your domain.

My God!

If I get any hotter,

I'm going to set off the sprinklers!

Oh, get over yourself!
Why shouldn't I be anxious?

can't I ever have one
thin g that's just mine?

Niles... It's like when I
discovered backgammon or fencing...

Niles! Relax.

It's okay.

You are an excellent psychiatrist.

I couldn't eclipse you if I tried.

Thanks.

You're sure?

Yes.

Splendid.

And, Dad,

you should go down and see Ronee.

She must like you an awful lot...

considering who she passed up.

I don't know. I know it sounds craZy,

but I just keep seeing
her in that ponytail

and that parochial school uniform.

Ronee didn't go to parochial school.

She didn't?

No, that was our
other baby-sitter-- Sally.

Oh, right. Sally the slut.

I liked her.

You mean all this
time I've been thinking

she was someone else?

See ya.

Dad, don't you want your cheese?

No, thanks, boys,

but I'm working without a net.