All language subtitles for Cest.comme.ca.que.je.taime.S01E05.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-ROCCaT_track4_[eng]

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You look nice.

Where were you?

I didn't go to the police.

I'm going to sleep on the couch.

How'd it go with Bourassa?

Really well.

Congratulations. You deserve it.

Thanks.

You think there's a storm at camp?

I don't know.

I think Martin
is less scared of storms now.

I think so, too.

Would you rather sleep in bed?
You'd be more comfortable.

If you like.

You'd be more comfortable.

Do you really think I'm possessed?

You said my head was going to spin around.

Yeah, but I was angry when I said it.

I'm going to start volunteering
again tomorrow.

Good idea.

I think I'll go twice a week.

With everything that's happened,
it couldn't hurt to go more often.

To even things out.

I appreciated that you thought
about Martin and the storm.

Of course.

I don't say it often,

but I think about Martin a lot.

There's a bit of everything.

There are some nice cufflinks,
and, Huguette,

there's a little brooch that you'll love.

The burglary was you?

I'm sorry, everyone.
And I'm sorry, Huguette.

I kept lecturing you, but I was no better.

I'm a criminal, too.

I don't think she should feel bad.

In last night's paper,
they called it a burglary gone wrong.

That's excellent.
It throws them off the scent.

I consider us a team.

And it wouldn't be fair if Serge and I
kept the loot to ourselves.

You must have had trouble sleeping?

No, I slept pretty well.

Serge is right. This is a good thing.

You shouldn't feel bad.

In fact, you should've told us.
We would've helped you.

I was afraid you'd judge me.

No one's judging anyone.

Am I judging Huguette?

Yes.

I judge her a bit. That's true.

I was ashamed.

I'm not used to...

Criminality.

You get used to it fast. You'll see.

How is she?

Not bad. She obviously feels guilty.

But she's going to do more volunteering.

I could give these to Robert.

I don't know if he wears cufflinks.

Robert?

Robert Bourassa.
I had dinner with him last night.

What if he recognizes the jewelry?

That's true.
We should have them melted down.

I might know someone
who could resell them.

You two look good.

You look refreshed.

You think so?

You're right, Micheline.
We have to share the loot.

What the... How much is that?

$4.000.

Damn! That's some well-paid work!

You said $500.

They paid me the rest.

So we're putting this all in the pot?

That's the idea, no?

This isn't $4.000 worth of jewelry.

What are you saying?

I'm not sure it's fair.

I say, keep the jewelry,
and we'll keep the cash.

No. It's my money. I decide.

It's our household's money.

Have you killed anyone?
-No.

There you go. It's my money.

I'm on your side, Huguette.

You killed.

She just stole. It's not worth as much.

In that case, you have to include
Marie-Jos�e in the split,

she killed the guard.

That's debatable.

Huguette got him pretty good.

She did save my life.

And they flamb� it for you!

The fire goes up in the air...

It's impressive!

It's almost dangerous!

Did you have any wine?

Did we have wine?

Good wine. A Bordeaux!

Ga�tan, your wife's on the phone.

She says it's urgent.

Okay, I'll take it.

Anyways, guys, don't hesitate
if you need anything.

I intend to stay very accessible
despite what's going on with me.

Thank you, Ga�tan.
-Thank you, Ga�tan.

Thanks!

Bye, guys!

Bye!
-Goodbye.

Maybe you shouldn't be humming
up and down the hall.

We're still mourning G�rard.

That's true.

In fact, I was walking by his office,
and it's empty.

It's big. It has a nice window.

When do you think the right time would be
to ask if I could have the office?

Maybe wait a few days.

Ga�tan Delisle, special adviser
to the premier.

How about the four of us go on a trip
before the kids get back?

With the loot money?
Acapulco would be fun, right?

We could leave later today?

What?

It would do us good.

What you told Serge and Micheline
was right.

There's a communication problem
within our relationships.

We could talk in Acapulco.

I'll give you a blow job in Acapulco!

I've never wanted to before,
but I will in Acapulco!

I'll try?

Your brother-in-law
wants to see you right away.

Same place as usual.

I'm sorry, Huguette.

I don't have time to talk.

Okay. I'm sorry I called.

What are you doing?

I saw her in the living room.

Why don't we just go in?

Let's deal with her!

We're going to follow our orders, okay?

We have to get duct tape
for the Slip 'N Slide.

Her husband and the other couple
have nothing to do with it!

They're a gang. They'll pay too.

I'd do it right now.

You know who I ate with last night?

The Right Honorable Robert Bourassa.

We're very close.
We have a great relationship.

We even joke around together.

He and I control
the whole state apparatus.

So you can tell your union friends

that if they don't want me
to use my power to destroy them,

you'll stay away from my wife forever!

I'm in love with Huguette, Ga�tan.

I don't know how else to say it.

It was love at first sight.

She came into the bathroom
to brush her teeth,

and that was it.

Can you explain how pooping your pants
can be the best moment of your life?

I think she's pretty. I think she's good.

Did you know that your wife
has the eye of the tiger?

That's very rare.

Her reputation is already made,
with what she did to the Kingpin.

She'll be a legend.
People are already talking.

She ruined his Slip 'N Slide.

Look...

I know you two are having troubles.

But I can...

It would be my pleasure
to take care of her.

And the baby, too.

Jesus Christ, Ren�!
Did you fall on your head?

Forget it.

I'll disappear for a while.

I have a little trailer at Beauport Lake.

What's the expression?

"Out of sight, out of mind"?

Yeah, I think that's it.

And don't worry. I haven't told Huguette.

I'm too shy to tell her.

I can't...

Express my feelings.

They're going to burn down your houses.

You've been switching houses lately,

so they thought it'd be easier
to burn down both houses.

What do you mean? Who?

I'm not a rat.

I can't give you the names of the two guys
who will do the job tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

Yeah.

And I can't tell you who the guys are

so that you can find them
before they torch them.

Come on! Tell me!

Do it for Huguette!

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like a cuckoo."

What?

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like a cuckoo."

I don't understand what that means!

I've said enough! Get out of my car.

Get out of my car!

You're the luckiest guy in the world,
and you don't even know it!

How's it going this morning?

Slow, but good.

Listen, Lionel,
can you come to my office, please?

I have something to show you.

Right now?

Yeah. Come on.

I inherited it.

We'd like you to appraise it,
then find us buyers.

You could put in a display to the side.

It would be off the books.

Nothing too complicated.

I don't wear jewelry.

Marie-Jos�e is a Marxist-feminist.

Is that right?

Mao-Stalinist feminist works, too.

They're not allowed to wear jewelry,
unfortunately.

Serge Paquette.

Are you good at charades?
-Not at all.

Is Micheline good at charades?

I don't think so.

Do you know anyone who is?

Are you good at charades?

Maybe.
-We're in danger.

Our lives are in danger.

Our wives' lives are in danger.

And our houses are in danger!

I don't have time to talk.

I have to find Huguette.
We'll talk later, okay?

You can't just hang up on me like that!

Come over for dinner tonight.

I'll explain everything.

Or we could eat at your place.

Why?
-We could swim.

Okay, if you want.

Okay. I'll bring my bathing suit!

Huguette!

We were looking for you.

We've received some clothes.
There are some nice things.

But we'll have to sort through it.

I just wanted to collect myself first.

I saw your husband last Sunday.

You weren't there.
I thought you might've been sick.

Yeah, I wasn't feeling great last Sunday.

I had a big week.

Is something the matter?

No.

Would you like to confess?

I think that...
-No!

I mean...

No.

See you later, Huguette.

See you later, Mario.

Huguette, we have to talk!

Are you finished volunteering?

You're right, Ga�tan. I'm possessed.

I'm putting you all in danger.
I can't stay here.

Don't look for me, okay?
I'm doing this to protect you!

Wait! Where are you going?

I don't know!

Who's the Kingpin?

What does this mean: "When they arrive,
I eat like a toucan?"

It's another bird. Shit!

I can't remember the bird.

Huguette!

She could always be
at her parents' cottage.

There's no phone at that freaking place.

Is the water good?

Enough with the pool!
Tell us what's happening.

Are the police onto us?
Because of the jewelry?

No, it's not the jewelry.

It's not a toucan, it's...

Come on, it's not a toucan!

What are some other birds?

Some other exotic birds?

Name an exotic bird!

Let him go for a dip. He's lost it.

I really like swimming at your place.

Even if I didn't want
to come over for dinner,

I'd come just for the pool.

The union hired the Kingpin.

The Kingpin hired Huguette.

Right.

Then Huguette ruined his Slip 'N Slide,
and now he's pissed.

Yes.

Why would she do that?

I don't know.

And now he wants to burn down our houses?

Tomorrow night.

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like a cuckoo!"

That's it!

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like a cuckoo!"

I took a little money from the loot.

You want some KFC?

Lesbians.

What?

"When they're pressed together..."
Lesbians.

I'm just trying stuff.
You guys aren't saying anything.

What does a cuckoo eat?

I don't know. Seeds?

Maybe we could replace the Slip 'N Slide
to apologize to the Kingpin?

Is it expensive?

We've got the loot.

Good luck.

It's been on back order
since the end of June.

We sold out during the heatwave, but...

Looks like it's going well with Serge.

I don't want to talk about it.

I love you.

The Water Wizzle!

That's not the same at all!

It's better than nothing.
It's in the water games category.

The kids didn't use it much, but it's fun.

Go ahead, Ga�tan. Turn the water on!

That thing is dangerous.

It hit Fran�ois in the face last summer.

Serge!

It's alive!

This is fun!

It's almost as fun as a Slip 'N Slide!

It's way more entertaining!

It's more of a Kingpin kind of game!

Yeah, there's an element of danger.

That hurt!

ANIMALS

Cuckoo, page 23.

"Cuckoos eat insects and caterpillars,

"and also take the eggs and newborns
of species they parasitize."

But it's "like a cuckoo."

It's not about what the cuckoo eats.

It's how it eats.

Is there anything about the way it eats?

I don't think so.

Besides, I imagine it pecks.

So we've got "lesbians" and "pecks."

Our houses are going to burn.

Speaking of lesbians...

You said you were good at charades?

We have high hopes for you.

Here, Marie-Jos�e.

Do you have 7UP?

Yeah, I think so.

Just so you know,
it's not really charades.

It's more of a riddle.

Are you good at riddles, too?

I think so.

Here.
-Thanks.

Ready?

"When they're pressed together,
I eat like a cuckoo."

"When they're pressed..."

You don't need to repeat it.

The first part is easy.

It's the hands of a watch.
That's a classic.

"Hands of a watch", "pecks..."

"When they're pressed together."
Noon and midnight.

You're good, Marie-Jos�e.

Noon, midnight...

The Midnight-Noon!

What you need to know is that
the Midnight-Noon was a porn theatre

located on St. Joseph Boulevard.

It was quite popular at the time!

I go sometimes. It's really interesting.

It's a whole scene.

Serge says you're a political lesbian?

Yes.

There must be lesbian movies
at the Midnight-Noon sometimes?

Sometimes.

I wasn't far off with the lesbian thing!

But we still don't have
the second part. The cuckoo.

She's a genius at riddles.

Do you have kids?

Yes.

Here!

Cocoa Puffs?

Of course! "I eat like a cuckoo."

But I don't know how the two fit together.

"Midnight-Noon" and "Cocoa Puffs..."

Do they sell cereal at the Midnight-Noon?

It's too late tonight,

but tomorrow morning at 11:30

they're showing
The Heavy Petters in color.

It's not a lesbian movie,

but based on the picture,
there are lesbians in it.

I don't understand why we would go there.

We don't even understand the riddle.

Do you have a better idea?

Could the clue be in the film?

What do you mean?

I don't know. Maybe a bird in the film?

Not "pecks" again...

Is this thing a riddle or a treasure hunt?

Maybe this isn't the right film.

There's another one at 1:00 p. m.

I'm beginning to question everything.

"When they're pressed together"
could be the pages of a book?

Or pasta?

You laughed at me when I said lesbians.

It doesn't even make sense.

The hands of a watch aren't just together
at noon and midnight.

There's also 1:05, 2:10, 3:15...

That's true.

Shit. Sorry.

Maybe we should go?
-No...

Cocoa Puffs!

Cocoa Puffs!

What the hell?

I'm Coco.

I'm Puff.

Sorry, he was talking about...

Cereal.

You saying we have cereal names?

No.

Ren� mentioned two guys.

Those are the two guys
who are going to burn our houses.

You should've said
we were looking for two guys.

Then I would've understood.
Cocoa Puffs. Easy.

I'm sorry. I thought I'd mentioned that.

No, you didn't.
-Sorry.

We could give them money.

They must be paid to burn stuff down.

We could pay them not to!
We have the loot!

But it's Huguette's money.

She earned it.

You want your house burnt down?

That's easy for you to say.
You have the jewelry.

Let's wait for the movie to end,
then go talk to them.

We'll pay them if we need to,
and that's that.

Doggy style.

Tape isn't going to work.

You have to stick the two together.

How am I supposed to slide on that? Fuck!

That's it. Stick them together.

The red with the red.

It's not going to work!

It's finished!

Turn it around. Come on.

I like Marie-Jos�e.

It's too bad she's a lesbian.

Yeah, but it's political.

She likes men,
but she wants to eliminate them.

Really? All men?

I don't know. I think so.

You know she wanted to kill me?

Seriously?
-Yeah.

We should've invited her over
to swim with us.

I'd like to see her in a swimsuit.

We only pull the money out
as a last resort.

It's Huguette's money.
It makes me uncomfortable.

I still think we should've made a deal
with the two fat pieces of shit.

There's no point making a deal
with Coco and Puff.

They're just contractors.

Let me handle it.

I think the fact that I'm high up
in the government

can be very intimidating.

There are a lot of cars.

A present! Another present!

What do we do? Should we leave?

No, let's go in.

You're so sweet, boys.

What the hell is this?

It's a Water Wizzle. It's a water game.

Well, shit!

Did you know that Raymond's
Slip 'N Slide was destroyed?

He cried!

You plug it into the hose,
and it turns into a crazy snake.

Yep. There's an element of danger.

Is this a present for me or for him?

For both of you.

Damn, you're good.

This is exactly what we needed!

He'll be so happy!

But he's working.
It's my birthday and he's working.

Raymond?

Give me two seconds, Jeannine.

If you ask me,
the city center starts here.

Who are these guys?

I don't know...

Who do you work with?

Actually, we'd like to talk to you
about Coco.

And Puff.

You're with Coco and Puff?

You've got a big job to do tonight.

Actually...
-Look what they bought me.

What is this?

It's a Water Wizzle.

It's like a crazy snake.

There's an element of danger.

Didn't one of these kill a kid
not that long ago?

No, I don't think so.

Jeannine, I'd prefer if you didn't
bring people in here.

We're working.

What was I saying?
-Come on.

I'll introduce you to people.

Jesus Christ! Don't show me Quebec City!

No, wait. Not here.

No!

Look at that.

They'll blow our cover!
We said we were working with them.

No, we didn't say that.

But that's what the Kingpin understood.

Enough messing around. Come on.

What do we say?

Hello, boys!

We saw you at the Midnight-Noon earlier.

Were we at the Midnight-Noon?

Yeah.

Come on!

Let's try your thing.

No, we're talking here.

Talking is boring.

One of those things killed a kid!

Look, I want to be fair, Jacques,

but how can I be fair
if I don't understand your numbers.

Raymond...

I'm not an idiot.

My numbers are good, okay?

These are your assets.

These are your liabilities.
It's not complicated.

You're trying to screw me with your terms.

No one understands your terms!

This isn't 1940, Raymond.

These terms exist now, so we use them.

What's a liability?

An asset, I can understand.

But a liability?

If I may...

Assets are a company's
positive economic value:

fixed assets, stocks, accounts receivable.

Liabilities are a company's
negative economic value:

shareholder equity,
financial or tax debts...

All that stuff.

I'm going to try it.

Jeannine, please.

Can you check this?

Here's your damn Wizzle!

At a glance, I can see
several irregularities.

I knew it.

These are financial statements?

What?

How do you know all this?

I learned it in university.

And I've done a lot of work at big stores.

In university?

University.

Guys, you should go to bed.

I think anything planned for tonight
should be cancelled.

You want me to drive you home?

We can drive.

We have to go.

Do you like working for the Kingpin?

Because I heard him talking about you,

and it seemed really uncalled for.

What'd he say?

He said you were...

What?

Fat.

That's not so bad.

Fat pieces...

Fat pieces of shit.
He called you fat pieces of shit.

And he made cereal jokes about your names.

What the hell?

I'm sick of those jokes.

They don't make any sense!
-None at all.

Doesn't it bother you to work for someone
who disrespects you like that?

He disrespects everyone.

You remember what he said
about the pregnant woman?

Oh, yeah! He said he pities that baby.

That it was abusive

to leave a child in the belly
of someone that crazy.

You okay?

Come on, guys.

We can't. We have a job.

You cereal-named pieces of shit!

I won't say it again!

There's $4.000. It's yours.

In exchange, you go to bed.

No arson tonight or any other night.

You say nothing to the Kingpin,
and you leave Huguette alone!

Huguette is my wife.

And I love her.

I love her because she's my wife.

And she's pregnant,
and we already have another kid together.

He's at summer camp now,

and sometimes I think
he'll probably be a homosexual,

but with our love and with God's help,

we'll do all we can
so that doesn't happen!

So take the suitcase and run,

or else Huguette Delisle
will come and take it,

and she'll be pissed.

She might even kill you.

It wouldn't be the first time. Got it?

Is it true that you want
to terrorize the city?

Start murdering in Quebec City
like they do in Montreal?

Is that what people are saying?

People say you're ruthless.

Guys,

I have something else to ask you.

We'll make up for it with the jewelry.

Jesus Christ! Jeannine! Jeannine?

What's going on?

Turn on the hose!

Turn it on, Jeannine!

Where's the end?

Where's the freaking end?

What the hell is that?

Wait, I'll grab it!

I'll get it!

Watch out!

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