All language subtitles for The.Menendez.Murders.Erik.Tells.All.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[dramatic music]

*

- I'm Erik Menendez.

I'm speaking to you from the
Donovan Correctional Facility

in California
near the Mexican border.

I'm serving a sentence
of life in prison

without the possibility
of parole.

I've heard many different
versions of my life

told in the media,

and those stories
are fiction.

I think it's time people hear
the truth from my own words

without the restrictions
of a courtroom.

From the moment after,

I wanted to go back in time.

I wanted to take everything
back that Lyle and I did.

You may think
you know my story,

but really,
you couldn't possibly,

because I'm telling it to you
now for the first time.

*

- Not many Hollywood
murder mysteries

ever took a more dramatic turn
than police are describing

in a couple of savage
Beverly Hills killings.

The victims were
a man and his wife.

He helped finance
such movie hits as

"Rambo: First Blood Part II"
and "Red Heat."

- I've been in this business
over 33 years

and I've heard of
very few murders

that were more savage
than this one was.

- Beverly Hills, you know,
it's the jewel

of Los Angeles,
you know.

It's where the rich
and the famous live.

Violent things don't happen
in Beverly Hills.

They just don't.

- I remember that the Menendez
case was a real shocker.

- It has everything,
two good-looking young men,

what looked like
a happy couple,

living the lavish lifestyle

in what appears to be
a happy home.

- When the officers arrived
at the scene,

they were told by
the sons,

Erik and Lyle,
there was not a break-in.

The bodies of the victims

had numerous
gunshot blasts to 'em.

- To have a gruesome,
stunning double murder,

in the middle of
Beverly Hills

was in itself something that
would draw attention.

And then you find out that
the husband was

an entertainment executive.

Once it's
an entertainment person,

you know the story's
gonna go ballistic.

José and Kitty have been
shotgunned to death.

I said, "What?"

- He's the only one that
I ever met that I would say,

well, gee, what a surprise.

It's not a surprise.

- What made this intriguing

was the fact that the sons
were not suspected.

- Money, wealth, Princeton,

everything American--
America can offer.

- Today at approximately
1:20 pm,

Beverly Hills police detectives
arrested

Joseph Lyle Menendez, 22.

- In Los Angeles, two brothers
have pleaded innocent.

- I had no options.

- First the Menendez brothers.

- 'Cause we were afraid.

- The Menendez brothers.

- I thought they were
gonna kill us.

- They put on the airs

of being this great, happy,
together family,

and it was all a façade.

- I mean, these weren't...

druggies and thugs.

I mean, they were
just good kids

that did whatever their
parents told them to.

- There is no issue as to
who killed José

and Mary Louise Menendez.

Why they were killed is

what the focus of all
of our evidence will be on.

- He would put me
on my knees

and I would have
oral sex with him.

- You're telling Lyle what?

- That my dad had been
molesting me.

*

- I thought the testimony
was compelling.

just as watching
Lawrence Olivier act

is very compelling as well.

- We viewed the abuse excuse
as a--

as a [bleep] defense.

- In the media,
that's all you would hear

is that these two rich boys
killed parents for money.

The people who think that

did not sit through
the same trial that I did.

- The Menendez trial was
classic human drama,

soap opera-ish,
but it had everything:

parents, children,

success, pedophilia.

It was an American drama.

[somber music]

*

- I remember my graduation day
pretty clearly.

It took place at--
at Beverly Hills High.

My mom was there
and my dad was there.

I was really glad
to see my brother.

My brother spent most of
his time on the East Coast,

so I was really glad whenever
he was out in California

and I was able to spend
some time with him.

*

I was graduating
and I was really excited.

I was one step closer
to going off to college,

be able to get away.

[dramatic music]

*

August 20th didn't happen
in that moment.

Really, I would say that
it began about a week before.

*

I was in the den with dad

and he was going over
my college work.

*

He was explaining to me

that I would be
living at home

several nights a week.

*

That even though
I had a dorm,

all freshman had to live
in a dorm,

but really I'd be living
at home.

I kept asking him,
"What do you mean?"

I thought
I would be gone.

And I had this sinking pain,

this sadness.

It was like in that moment

all of the dreams that I had
pinned everything on

about escaping home

they just got crushed
inside of me.

*

I went back to my room
and I didn't know what to do.

I started putting clothes in--
in my bag

and my mom came in and she
said, "Where are you going?"

And I said, "I'm just going
to a friend's house

for a few days."

And she said,
"No, you aren't."

She started taking my clothes
from the bag

and--and throwing them out.

*

And then she--
she left.

*

My dad came in
a few minutes later

and he--he pushed me up
against the window

and he has his--
his arm against my neck

and said, you know,
"Do we have a problem?"

And I said--I said, no,
and he said,

you know, "You better be here
when I get back from my trip."

*

At that point,
I just was defeated.

I didn't have the strength
to--to argue with him.

I certainly wasn't gonna
fight back.

I just felt dead inside.

Emotionally,
I was just crumbling.

*

And so I thought about--

I really thought
about suicide.

*

I thought about
taking my life.

[dramatic music]

*

I remember it was Tuesday that
I was coming in the--

the--the front door
of the house

and mom and Lyle were
coming out of the study

and mom was--
was screaming.

They were
in an argument.

and Lyle was saying that
he needed it,

that it was important.

And mom, in a rage,
said, you know,

you don't need your--
your effing hairpiece,

and he--and she--
she reached up

and she ripped his hair
off his head,

and I remember
just being stunned

by what just happened.

- I was just really in shock
over the whole thing

More of my mother's--

just that she would
do that.

I never--that never
happened before

and she had had rages before
close to me, hitting me.

And he didn't know
I had a hairpiece,

and so, you know,
my brother and I,

there are things
we don't talk about

and that was one of 'em.

I was completely embarrassed
in front of my brother.

*

- I told him, you know,
not to worry about it,

that he was my brother,
that I loved him.

Basically saying,
I don't judge you.

That conversation changed
our lives.

*

I asked him, "Do you remember,
you know, when I was a kid

"and you asked me
if anything was happening

between me and dad?"

And I said, "Lyle,
it's still happening."

He was like,
"What--what do you mean?"

And I just said,
"It's still happening,

just sexual things."

*

He got suddenly, like,
really upset,

saying, how could I
let that happen,

did I enjoy it,
why didn't I tell anyone,

and why didn't I stop it.

I was crying
and I started to have some--

like a small
panic attack.

Then Lyle got nicer
and asked me,

you know, it's all right,
who else knows.

I said nobody knows.

He asked if mom knows
and I said, "No, no,"

and he said,
"No, no, I think she does."

*

"I think mom knows."

He said, you know,
not to worry about it.

That--that it would never
happen again.

*

I just told him that,
you know,

dad's not gonna be happy that
I'm telling you.

But it was my only hope.

*

The emotion that I felt that
night on Thursday night

was of such scariness,
of such fear.

The conversation that
Lyle had with dad,

it wasn't good.

Dad had--had lit a cigarette
and Lyle had told dad

that he knows what has been
going on and--

and that it--
that it had to stop.

And dad had basically
told him,

you know,
stay out of it.

Don't throw
your life away.

Dad told him, you know,

"You're gonna
go back to Princeton

"and Erik's gonna go to UCLA
like planned,

and we're gonna forget this
conversation ever took place."

I guess Lyle just exploded
on him and said,

"You're gonna keep your hands
off my brother,"

and, "You're a sick person
who"--

He just did what nobody
ever does to my dad.

*

Then dad studied Lyle
for a minute

and, like, measured him

and said, you know, "Son,
we all make choices in life

"and Erik's made his
and you're making yours

and now I have to
make mine."

Suddenly there's
this pounding

and my dad is yelling for me
to open up the door.

He keeps saying, "Open
the [bleep] [bleep] door."

*

So I unlock the door
and he bursts in

and says, "I warned you never
to tell anyone.

What have you done?
You've told Lyle."

He said, "Lyle's gonna tell
everyone."

I said, "No, he's not."

And he told me to shut up
and he charged at me

I pushed him away
as he was coming toward me

and scooted out the--
the front side of the bed

and I ran
down the stairs.

*

And I ran into the den
and my mom is there,

and she said,
"What's the matter with you?"

And she was either drinking
or something

and was slurring
her words.

And I said, "Nothing, nothing.
You wouldn't understand."

And she said,
"Oh, I understand

a lot more than you think,"

you know, "I know.
I've always known."

I just stopped.

I said, "What--what do you
mean by that?"

And she said, "What,
do you think I'm stupid?"

*

I just screamed,
"I hate you.

I hate you."

It became clear
to me that--

that dad was not going to
let me get away

and that mom had always known,

it kind of just
shattered everything.

*

That was the moment
I knew that--

that my parents were
gonna kill me.

*

- It was a lifetime of stuff

that was going on,
and, you know,

this was not a family
that was in any way functional.

I mean, every family is
dysfunctional in its own sense,

but this was
the dysfunctional family

if we could, you know,

put it in the dictionary.

- You know, the argument, why
didn't they simply live the--

leave the house,
is a very plausible one

and compelling one
to the ordinary person

but for the fact
they don't--

they haven't lived
the Menendezes' life

and they haven't walked in
those boys' shoes.

- 18- and 21-year-old boys

are still boys,

and the likelihood that

their ability to think that
they could leave

and live independently
on their own

was slim to none.

*

- The idea of running away was
absolutely impossible,

and I told Lyle that
there's no chance.

And I think that
that's in part,

when I look back
on my life,

because my dad programmed that
into my head.

*

Even to this day,

I don't believe I could get
away from my dad.

He would have
tracked me down.

He would have killed me.

*

We went out
to buy guns.

I'm not sure of how practical
of a decision it was.

I had not fired
a gun before.

I didn't know what I would be
able to do with it.

I had never been able to
really stand up to dad,

but it was better than
doing nothing

in terms of
protecting myself.

And we went down to San Diego
to get away for the day.

*

We went to a--
I believe it was a Big 5,

and I remember the man at
the store was very friendly

and the man asked, you know,
what we wanted the guns for,

'cause we asked him for
something smaller.

And we told him
for self-defense,

someone comes at us
and we have a gun.

And he said, "The guns you
need for self-defense,"

and he put it down
and it was a shotgun.

So we ended up buying the guns
right then.

[dramatic music]

*

- Well, the story was

that Mr. Menendez had a
big deal that had gone through

and he was gonna go
shark fishing.

And this was
basically so--

like kind of a primer
on shark fishing,

so I could teach him
a little about it.

I haven't talked about this
since it happened.

*

- I remember the drive down
to the marina.

It was complete silence
the entire way there.

I swear to God it felt like I
was being driven to my grave.

*

I remember seeing
the boats

and feeling this dread.

You know, a part of me
just wanted to run.

*

The idea of being alone
on the ocean

with nobody around,

I was nervous
and paranoid

for a good reason.

Everything that mom and dad
had told me,

had programmed into my head
that I--

that I was
in grave danger

if I--
if I ever told Lyle,

all of my life
had come true.

- As they came to
the boat

and we set sail
off the dock,

the boys moved up to
the bow of the boat

and the parents basically went
down inside the boat

into the back.

It was a weird vibe
just all around.

*

- My mom was upset that
there were

more people on the boat

than she anticipated.

I guess she had only expected
the--the boat captain

to be there.

And I remember thinking,

why should she care?

*

Nothing about that trip
made sense,

and in context with everything
else that was going on,

the crisis that was
happening in the family,

we shouldn't have been
out there.

*

I remember
a lot of waves,

and the waves would crash
over the boat

and the water was cold.

*

- We actually took a wake
over the bow

and it got
the boys soaked,

and the boys
just sat there.

They didn't bother going back
to get a towel

or anything to go
warm up with.

And they sat out there in
the cold breeze basically

almost the--you know,
the whole trip.

*

- There was no fishing at all
that I remember.

I mean, that was the whole
reason we were there,

but there wasn't
any fishing going on.

So it was like there was
this pretense.

We were there for one reason,
but we were there

really for--
for a whole nother reason.

- Basically,
the deckhand and I

did everything.

None--none of the four
came back.

They really kind of acted like
they didn't have--

want to have
any part of it.

The family, they were strange
almost the whole time.

*

- The boat ride
just seemed endless,

and I remember just--
just being up there afraid,

and so I just huddled
at the front of the boat.

*

My brother had
a lot of questions.

We talked about everything
that had been happening.

Why I had gone through this
and not--and not told him.

*

I think Lyle felt
really horrible

that he had suspected that
this was happening

because it had
happened to him.

*

And I was trying to
convince Lyle

that, you know, there was
nothing he could have done,

that this wasn't
his fault.

*

To this day,
I wonder

what was supposed to happen
that night.

*

[dramatic music]

Later that night, my dad
was pounding on my door,

telling me to open up the door
in my bedroom.

I remember holding the gun
sitting on my bed

waiting to see if he was gonna
break down the door.

I remember this terror
coursing through me

that this was it.

It was all
gonna happen now.

You know, for the first time,
I was gonna--

I was gonna
confront my dad,

not back down,

and so the idea was
just paralyzing.

*

In--in my mind,
it didn't even matter

that I was holding
this gun.

I felt like as soon as dad
broke through that door

I was gonna die,
but I didn't care,

because I was never gonna let
dad come in my room

and do that again.

Eventually he stopped.

[delicate music]

*

Sunday, for me,

was the worst day of--
of all,

the morning of Sunday.

*

The tension
had been building

day after day.

I'm not sleeping well.
I wasn't thinking clearly.

The--the best idea
was for me

to just stay away
from the house

and for Lyle to try to talk
to mom and dad,

'cause it seemed like

everything was
about to explode.

I didn't know what to do.

I remember I drove around

and I just stayed to myself.

I went to Santa Monica.

There's a church there,

the Church of
the Good Shepherd,

that I would go sometimes,
right,

when I was feeling anxious.

I was really depressed,
and I needed--

I needed peace.

*

I remember being parked
on the side

of--of PCH sitting on
the hood of my car

looking out in the sunset.

*

And it just felt like--

it just felt like
the world was ending,

this gloomy despair
in my heart.

*

When I got back,
it was dark.

I didn't know
what was gonna happen.

I went around
the side of the house...

*

and Lyle was
waiting for me there,

and he was not happy
that I was so late.

He wanted to leave
immediately.

Everything had gone
terribly wrong.

*

Dad wanted us home
that night,

and why did they want us home
that night?

It seemed like
all the pieces were--

were being put together.

It became clear to me

that our parents
were gonna kill us.

- The tension must have been
crackling in that house

because the--
for the first time ever

José Menendez was looking at
the possibility

of being exposed as
a serial child abuser

of his own child,
no less.

It was preferable
for the father

to kill his sons

than to be exposed as
a serial predator.

- They were
practically told

they signed their own
death warrant,

and they did believe it.

- There was no way that
that family couldn't explode.

They were imploding.

The tension was building
and building and building.

They felt that
there was nothing else

that they could do
in order to survive.

*

- I was in the foyer.

Lyle was coming out
of the den

and my mom
was following him

and saying,
"You're not going out."

Lyle said--said, "Why?"

And my mom said, you know,
"Because I said so."

And--and then my dad came out
and he told my mom to shut up.

He looked at Lyle and said,
"You're not going out."

He told me
to go to my room

and he told me he would be
there in a minute,

and then Lyle said...

- "You're not gonna touch
my brother,"

and we had a big argument.

I was saying that he wasn't
gonna touch Erik.

- Dad, he--he charged at Lyle
and he yelled,

you know, "I do what I want
with my family.

He's not your little brother,
he's my son."

- And told him to go upstairs
to his room and wait

while he finished his movie.

My mother said that
I ruined...

the family.

Then my dad came out
and took her by the arm

and they walked
into the den,

and then my dad
closed the doors.

I was sure that
that was it.

- Lyle was just staring,

and I was beginning
to panic.

We had made a big mistake
asking to go out.

- I realized that they had been
waiting for Erik to get home,

like I had been,
and I just freaked out.

I thought they were going ahead
with their plan to kill us.

*

- I felt like my heart was
going to explode.

It was just pounding,
and I felt like--

felt like my life was over
right then.

- I ran upstairs to
tell my brother

that it was happening now.

- Everything was--
was colliding at that moment

and--and my brother said...

- This was it,
they were gonna kill us.

- And I just felt chills
over my body.

*

I remember running.

I remember grabbing my gun,

and I remember
my hands trembling.

And all I knew is that if
I didn't get to those doors

before mom and dad got out,
that I was gonna die.

*

It was the only thought
in my head.

I-I couldn't breathe.

I-I was gonna die.

I had seconds left
and I had to get to the den.

*

It was like
every single thing

that mom and dad
had told me

that they were gonna kill me
and how much they hated me,

it was all happening
right now.

*

- We just burst through
the doors

and--and I started firing.

I remember seeing a shadow
right off to the right,

my brother
over to the left.

- I remember firing

and firing

and I couldn't see
anything.

It was just fire and--
and darkness

and this--this booming,
exploding sounds.

It was terrible.

[glass shatters]

- We fired, you know,
many, many times,

and we could
hear things breaking

and you could hear the ringing
noises from the booms

and the smoke
from the guns.

Basically just chaos

and I really didn't know
who was firing at who

and what was going on.

I just was, you know,
firing my gun.

- It was like hell had
come to the world

and I just wanted to
run away.

And--and there was
nowhere to go.

And afterwards, I-

I collapsed on the stairs
in the foyer.

*

There was another shot fired.

- I reloaded.

I ran around
and shot my mom.

*

- I started to cry,

and he--he--he came
and sat beside me

and he put his arm
around me.

*

And I started to--
to tremble

and he just said,
"It's gonna be all right."

*

And I felt nauseous.

I felt like I was gonna
throw up.

Then it's past,
I don't know,

five, eight,
ten minutes.

It just seemed like
forever.

*

The police, they were supposed
to show up, I guess.

*

And it was just silence
and emptiness.

*

We waited
on the stairs there

for the police to come

minute after minute after
minute after minute.

*

They should have been there
within 60 seconds.

From there, it's the max.

*

At some point, I just wanted
to get out of there.

*

I just wanted to
get out of that house.

*

- And then at some point
we did get up and we--

we talked about the fact that
there was--nobody had come.

So then we started to
talk about

what we wanted to do.

*

- I wasn't really
thinking straight.

We--we picked up
the shells.

I didn't know whether
we picked up all of the shells

or there were shells
still there.

We gathered them
as best we could

and we left.

*

We just drove around,

basically trying to create
an alibi at this point.

It was really just
spur-of-the-moment thinking

and--and it wasn't really
sound thinking.

I was in shock.

We were just scrambling
at this point.

And so we drove to
the movie theater

and tried to get tickets.

The--the tickets
we were able to get

showed that--
that the movie would start

like at 10:30.
They were useless.

So we couldn't create an alibi
saying we were at the theater,

so we had to go and--
and get rid of the guns.

*

We just drove up to
Mulholland

and just jumped over
the side of the road,

and we didn't have any--
anything to bury guns with

so we just put them
under a bush

and--and shoved
some dirt over it.

*

The desperate attempt
to cover up

what we did,

I was really terrified

that everything
would get exposed.

- The incidence
of parricide,

fortunately,
is very low.

Double parricides,
meaning a father and a mother

killed by their children,

is statistically
a very rare event.

In fact, it's almost
incomprehensible

to--to calculate
and to understand that.

When there is
a parricide,

it's a tragedy
for everybody,

but survivors often
are so troubled

that they want to
make sense out of it, too.

In the Menendez case,

why would two kids
who were coming from

what is clearly portrayed
as enormous wealth,

the American dream,

the--the father who
worked his way up,

is living in
a Beverly Hills,

it's Hollywood,
mansion

and you want to go,
how could this happen?

*

- When we got home,
it was just silence.

Still there was
nobody there.

Nobody had called
the police.

Nobody had shown up
and it was just--

it was just quiet.

*

I just had this need to
go to the room.

*

I had this need
to be with mom and dad,

just to see them,
to be there...

*

and I couldn't
stop myself.

*

When I saw them,
I just--

I just broke down.

*

It was so wrong.

*

This should have
been me,

and seeing them
dead was--

it was--
it was like hell.

It was horrible.

*

I started screaming.

Lyle came
and pulled me out of the room

and said,
"Don't go in there."

And he went
to call the police

but I couldn't
stop myself.

I just had to go back
to the room.

*

It was the only place
in the world that I could be

because I felt like--

I felt like what I had done
was just--

*

I just wanted to
undo it.

I just wanted to go
back in time.

I didn't want this moment
to be real.

*

I just collapsed
emotionally.

Lyle called the police
and he was crying.

- I didn't know that Lyle was
even doing that.

I was in a--
almost a delirious state.

So the notion that Lyle
was lying

or that the screaming was--
was fake,

was just--
was just a lie.

- Our officers responded
and did, in fact, determine

that there had been
a shooting,

and at this time,

we have two
deceased persons inside.

- The police were there within
like 20, 30 seconds.

The police told us to--
to go out.

Lyle had to drag me
out of the room.

*

And they told us
to get down in the grass.

*

The moments are so scattered
and chaotic.

I don't remember what happened
outside the house.

*

The next thing I remember is
that I was in the police car

going to the Beverly Hills
Police Station.

*

They were gonna
interview us,

and I remember Lyle
asking me,

"Are you gonna be able to say
we were at the movies?"

*

- When I arrived
on the scene,

the brothers,
Erik and Lyle,

had been transported to
the police station

and were being interviewew
by my sergeant.

*

- Lyle wanted me to go and--
and interview first

because if I broke down
and confessed,

then he would--
he would come in and--

and explain what happened.

- Sergeant Edmonds informed me
that there was no GSR.

He said that
his determination was

that, you know,
they were distraught.

They found the victims,
their parents,

and he listened to the--

the initial phone call
by the brothers.

*

They gave enough information

where we could conduct
our investigation

and that was that the brothers
said that the father

had been dealing with some
unsavory characters

within his business

and thought that was probably
mafia connected.

*

male announcer: Number one in
Southern California.

- Police are looking for
a motive tonight in the murders

of a prominent show business
executive and his wife.

They were found just before
midnight last night

shot to death in their
exclusive Beverly Hills home.

- This was a big deal.

I mean, it was sensational
almost from day one.

- I had been away from the news

and the day we got back
I picked up the "L.A. Times"

and I read, oh, my God.

The Menendez,
Kitty and José,

they were my clients.

Oh, my God, what happened?

- You know,
it doesn't happen

and--and--not
that kind of murder.

I mean, two people
blown away in their den?

- I turned on the television

and the broadcaster
or whatever says,

"rich Beverly Hills couple
shot to death."

And I turned around to
my roommate and I said,

"That's the Menendezes

and the kids
shot 'em."

I don't know.
Weird feeling.

Night before
being so weird.

- When I first heard that
Kitty and José had been killed,

it never crossed my mind that
it could have been the boys.

It never occurred to me that
they would do that

because I had known them
for those years

as nice, loving,
gentle boys.

*

- At the time, they thought
it was like a mafia hit

or something
because it was so gruesome.

- There's a line in the article

quoting me saying,

"I sincerely believe when we
find out what really happened,

"we will all be embarrassed
to learn

"it has to do with
some bizarre aspect

of José's personal life."

*

*

- The whole scene
was shocking.

I mean, the bodies
of the victims

had numerous
gunshot blasts to 'em.

There was blood everywhere,

on the ceiling.

There was French doors
behind the couch.

They had holes in 'em
from the shotgun pellets.

I mean, it was a mess.

I was really, really a...

devastating crime scene.

*

- I just remember asking

if my parents were dead,

because I couldn't
cope with it.

I couldn't--
I couldn't face it.

He said yes,

and I remember him saying that
to this day

and just crumbling inside.

*

This horrible sadness
just--

just came over me.

*

- The news had said that
there had been

a mob hit possibly.

- I remember being told
they were shot,

and I didn't understand...

how bad it was.

And finally, he had to say,
no, they're--

they didn't survive.

I remember putting
the phone down

and going to another
area of the house

and screaming.

- I was devastated.

I still loved them dearly

and thought about them
every single day.

I was in disbelief.

- Phone rings
and it's Dave Penner,

and he says,
"Roger, are you sitting down?

José and Kitty have been
shotgunned to death."

I said, "What?"

- It was the talk
of the neighborhood.

How could this happen?

I couldn't imagine something
like that happening

in a neighborhood that
was so pristine.

- Looking back,
I didn't say, "Really?

"Who would have done that?

"Oh, my gosh, really?

Somebody killed 'em? Oh."

It was nothing like that.
It was like, "No kidding."

He's the only one that I've
ever met that I would say,

"Well, gee, what a surprise."
It's not a surprise.

- This is gonna make me sound
awful to millions of people,

but of all the people
in the world

who might get murdered,

this one would be kind of
on my top five list.

*

- Next morning when
we were still investigating,

the officer came to me
and said,

"Lyle Menendez is here

and he wants to get things
out of the house."

So I went out
and I spoke to Lyle

and he said, "We're gonna go
stay with our tennis coach

"so we wanted to get some
things, clothing-wise,

and get our tennis gear."

I go, "Your tennis gear?"

I said, "Well, where is
your tennis gear?"

He said, "It's in the room
where our parents were killed."

*

I mean, that was pretty cold
for the next morning

after they discovered that

their parents
had been murdered.

That was
my first indication

that something
wasn't right there.

*

- Lyle and I did not talk
about things

as much as--
as I wished we would have,

because all I wanted to do was
talk about what happened

and how--
how to live with it,

because I couldn't
live with it.

*

So the only thing I knew was--
was tennis,

so I just pushed myself
into that full-time.

It kept me from just
being idle all day long.

I was with my coach,

and he just trained me
for hours and hours a day,

and it kept me from
just being by myself.

But I was still
by myself at night,

and I was getting worse
and worse emotionally.

*

- As our investigation
continued,

we had learned from
José's business life

that the brothers were given
José's credit card

so that
they could live,

and we learned that
they were

spending, spending,
spending.

*

- One of the ways that Lyle

made himself feel better was
by spending money.

It's what my mom did, and
that's what they did together.

So that was just the way
they handled depression.

*

- They bought
a new car each.

Lyle bought a Porsche,

Erik, a Jeep.

They had bought
Rolex watches,

three of 'em,
for the two of 'em.

We kept learning that
they were spending money

like it was water
to 'em.

- It's my brother's way
of coping.

It wasn't my way
of coping.

I didn't spend money,
really, afterwards.

It's--no more than
I would have before.

*

- I didn't feel that
we had enough information

to actually
focus on them

specifically.

I mean, we still were
investigating

a mafia angle.

I do recall at one point

that the insurance company

for José had called
and said,

"Have you got a suspect
in mind for this murder?

"Because the business

"wants to
pay out the money

to the sons so that
they could live."

I said,

"We haven't
ruled out anybody."

*

[dramatic music]

*

- I had been ordered
to give one of the eulogies

at the--the church.

Someone in the company
came up to me and said,

"Oh, Roger, I think you're
doing such a wonderful job

of hiding your emotions."

I said, "You mean my glee?"

And they said, "Oh, Roger,
even you can't joke

at a time like this."

I said, "I'm not joking."

- My wife, she went to
the funeral with me,

and at that point,
I haven't told her anything.

I sat her down
and I let her know

what's what.

What I experienced
while living with them

was the primary thing
of what's what.

She was quite flabbergasted,
to say the least.

*

- In the memorial service
in Los Angeles...

*

I wasn't able to speak.

I couldn't--
I just couldn't do it.

*

Everything that had happened
over my whole life

I needed to deal with,

and I was--
I was falling apart.

*

I began to have dreams of
killing myself.

*

In my dream,
I would die

and I would be floating in
this blue peace

and all of the pain
would go away,

and suddenly I was dead and I
was so happy that I was dead.

*

I wanted that,
and I remember the--

the morning that I woke up
after one of those dreams

and my eyes slowly opened and I
realized that I was still alive

and I just wished that
I was dead.

*

- Nothing is more fundamental
to the Menendez brothers' case

than the outrage
perpetrated by Oziel,

nothing.

*

- I told my cousin Henry,

I said,
I-I can't live anymore.

He told me,
you need help.

You need to go see
Dr. Oziel.

I need you to
go see him.

*

Seeing Dr. Oziel was not what
I thought it was gonna be.

*

The first time that
I went to him,

I just came out with it
and told him that

I needed to just be in--
in the fresh air and just--

and just walk.

And I just broke down

and I-I told him
what had happened.

That I--
that I did this.

*

After I had confessed to him,
he called Lyle in.

I had not told Lyle that
I was gonna go see Dr. Oziel.

I made an error there.

I should have--I should have
discussed it with Lyle.

- I felt like
he should have come to me,

and I felt hurt
to a large degree

and--and sort of betrayed

by the fact that they had
sort of gotten together

and talked about things

and I had not had a discussion
with my brother.

*

- Dr. Oziel said
flat-out that

because of what I told him
he can go to the police.

- It was
a very intense meeting

with me yelling at
my brother,

Oziel telling me that

I seem menacing to him.

- He would feel comfortable
in not going to the police

if--if we went
into business together.

*

It was really clear to me
really quickly

that he wanted money.

- Dr. Oziel wanted to tell me
everything that

they had discussed,
and I didn't want to hear it.

Essentially, I just wanted to
leave with my brother.

- Everything a patient
is telling you

is privileged communication,

and he is...

recording it.

Then he has his mistress,

who I believe was
also a patient of his,

standing at the door
and listening in

on their...

therapy sessions.

And then she gets pissed off
and calls the police

when he breaks up
with her.

- It was a positively
brutal murder

that was unsolved essentially
for five or six months

until Erik unburdened himself
to Dr. Oziel.

*

- Part of the investigation
was for us

to travel to Chicago

where we interviewed
relatives.

We went to New York
for business associates.

We went to New Jersey
for neighbors, schools,

contacts of
the Menendez people.

*

- The police were
making it clear

that they felt that
we were involved.

You can tell by the questions
they're asking

what they're focusing on.

And just to be candid, I was
acting like a guilty person.

*

- We suspected the brothers

might be responsible
for the crime.

With their reactions
after the murder,

their spending,

and then hearing they
purchased the shotguns

in San Diego,

we had a pretty good case,
I thought.

*

- We fought so hard

to keep the secrets
from coming out,

but everything was just
spinning out of control.