All language subtitles for Thanksgiving s01e05_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu Download
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,522 --> 00:00:03,312 -Why don't you touch me anymore? -Because you're always sweating. 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:06,617 ♪ Wearing Spanx because it's Thanksgiving ♪ 3 00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,045 [ Both grunting ] 4 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,531 [ Both laugh ] 5 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:10,531 Bring lasagna. 6 00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:11,322 What should we bring? 7 00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,705 [ Exhales slowly ] 8 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,408 Don: Every year, the remote mysteriously 9 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,445 disappears so we all have to talk to each other. 10 00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,671 God forbid. 11 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:18,979 I just wanted to let you know 12 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,185 I'll be a little later than expected. 13 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,244 [ British accent ] Excalibur is back home. 14 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,459 Jude and I met each other 200 years ago 15 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,770 when I gave birth to him. 16 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,285 -Family beer run! -Oh. 17 00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,639 Olive: We're getting our freakin' beer. Run! 18 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:35,425 Stumpley: And these libtards are gonna be calling 19 00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,386 a wah-mbulance when their dear leader 20 00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:40,125 Barry Hussein "Secret-Homosexual" 21 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:43,567 Soetoro Obama leaves office in a few months... 22 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:46,655 Rush Limbaugh seems awfully angry. 23 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,785 This isn't Limbaugh. 24 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,137 Rush went soft on us years ago. 25 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,308 This is Pat Stumpley, 26 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,274 the most trusted voice of Real America. 27 00:00:56,273 --> 00:01:00,233 Well, I do like that Michelle Obama and her arms. 28 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,374 Ladies on "The View" call them "fierce." 29 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,536 And what about Trump? The man... 30 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,372 Don't start up with me, Vera. 31 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,330 Fierce! Oh... 32 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,849 Once that interloper is out of the White House, 33 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:16,344 our schools can finally start serving up decent food again. 34 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:20,247 Oh, "healthier generation" my ass! 35 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,264 Pizza squares and chocolate milk... 36 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,126 -Chocolate milk. -...are all the nutrition 37 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,037 growing kids need. 38 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,832 Just look at how our grandchildren turned out. 39 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,047 Say what you want about Trump -- 40 00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,736 The man is not a politician. 41 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,533 Are those them? 42 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:34,828 -Aah! -Yes! 43 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:37,053 [ Laughter, cheering ] 44 00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,663 ♪♪ 45 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:48,629 [ Laughter ] 46 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,070 -Yes! -[ Screaming ] 47 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,286 -Whoo! Ahh! -Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 48 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:54,547 [ Chuckles ] 49 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,639 Whoo! 50 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:59,417 God bless America! [ Chuckles ] 51 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:00,293 [ Ding! ] 52 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:03,344 ♪♪ 53 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,430 So, come on down to Bungoes! 54 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:09,559 You know it's where the fun goes! 55 00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:12,094 Oh, Don, can you please mute it? 56 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,438 [ Chuckling ] No! Of course not. 57 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,527 Your husband seems really successful. 58 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,436 I actually bankroll all of his businesses, 59 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,661 and his "political campaign." 60 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:20,971 Oh, but don't tell him. 61 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:21,876 He'd shit a brick if anyone knew. 62 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,970 So, your ring is...? 63 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,229 Yes. Thank you, me. 64 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,543 -Okay, uh... -Fun times with me! 65 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,799 I got to go make room for, uh, Thanksgiving dinner, 66 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:31,892 if you know what I mean. 67 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:32,850 Oh, Don, please. 68 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:33,808 [ Chuckles ] Get it? 69 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:34,975 -Seriously. -Oh, God. 70 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,550 I am prairie dogging right now. 71 00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:37,807 -Oh... -Yeah. 72 00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,029 You ever heard that phrase, Sue? 73 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:39,858 -Ugh. -No, Mr. Morgan, 74 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:41,115 but I understand. 75 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,637 Listen -- If the game comes back on, 76 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,690 just pause it, okay? 77 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,205 And don't do anything else. 78 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:48,168 Just pause it and stay where you are -- Stay still. 79 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:55,003 [ Door closes ] 80 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,920 Hey, Kathy. How's dinner... 81 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,955 -Shh! Shh! -...coming? 82 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:02,045 What are you doing? 83 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:05,011 Lookit -- I have my family under one roof, 84 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,230 one day a year, goddamn it, 85 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,059 and I'm not gonna have you ruin it 86 00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,317 by sitting here watching the TV. 87 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,630 And if you tell Don about this, 88 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:15,146 I promise to destroy your relationship with my sons 89 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,331 and your whole lives, okay? 90 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,717 I have that power! I know things! 91 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,811 Ugh. Forgot my tablet. 92 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,510 I'm gonna need it, 'cause this is gonna take a little while. 93 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:27,028 [ Both chuckle ] 94 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,732 Uh, why's the TV off, Kathy? 95 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,250 Huh! 96 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,043 Kathy, why is the TV off? 97 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,258 Well, I have no idea, sweet-potato pie. 98 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:39,088 I'm sitting here talking to the gals about, uh, period farts. 99 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,958 -Oh, God. -[ Groans ] 100 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,959 [ Sighs ] Hey, Stevie, 101 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,531 why is the TV off? 102 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:47,048 And let me just remind you that lying is frowned upon 103 00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,532 in your whole new-agey culture thing. 104 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,193 It was the strangest thing, Don. 105 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:55,408 The television mysteriously shut itself off. 106 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,669 It was, like, a ghost happened. 107 00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,892 Do you have any loose ends with, like, a dead relative? 108 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,942 -Oh, chilly! -Your aura is...thick. 109 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:03,898 [ Don's stomach grumbles ] 110 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,585 Oh, God... Oh, geez! 111 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,203 Someone needs to go settle their score 112 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,553 with that Hungry-Man dinner he had last night, huh? 113 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,733 This is not over! 114 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,778 Sure. So, when a woman... 115 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,645 [ Whispers ] Good job. Good job. 116 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:19,037 [ Insects chirping ] 117 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:21,912 [ Sighs ] 118 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,313 [ Horn honks ] 119 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,086 [ Chuckling ] Oh, hell yes! 120 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,880 [ Laughs ] Pshoo! Pshoo! Pshoo! Pshoo! 121 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,215 [ Tires screech, engine revs ] -Pshoo! Pshoo! Pshoo! Pshoo! 122 00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:31,314 Pshoo. Pshoo...Pshoo... Pshoo... 123 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:35,014 Pshoo... 124 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,673 I'm gonna I choose not to make that about race. 125 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:41,238 [ Breathes deeply ] 126 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,287 [ Sighs ] 127 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,156 [ Crow caws ] 128 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:52,287 [ Groans ] 129 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,162 Stupid flowers! 130 00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,823 [ Grunts ] 131 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,248 [ Brakes squeak ] 132 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,394 Man: Hey, buddy, you okay? You need a ride? 133 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:04,167 [ Panting ] Oh! Yeah. A ride would be g-great. 134 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,043 Thank you. 135 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,964 The patriarch is here! 136 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,700 ♪ Da da-da 137 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,621 Wh-- Where's my son? 138 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,436 Indisposed! 139 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,844 Aah! Walter, happy Thanksgiving! 140 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:16,707 [ Chuckles ] 141 00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,267 [ Laughs ] 142 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,974 Your brood is out in the driveway 143 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,282 doing some sort of, uh, celebration. 144 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,719 Yeah? 145 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,325 You'd think they'd never seen a beer before. 146 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,626 Oh, they've seen a beer. [ Giggles ] 147 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,501 Ladybug! 148 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,202 Pop-pop! 149 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,849 Oh, Ladybug! [ Laughs ] 150 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:35,644 Y-You're with us this year? 151 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,859 Mm-hmm! 152 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,208 Oh, how's your mom anyway? 153 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,727 I've always liked her 154 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,730 despite our obvious ethnic differences. 155 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,003 Walter, whatever you're thinking, stop, okay? 156 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,735 What'd I do? 157 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:49,606 I-I said that -- How can it be racist if it's positive? 158 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,530 Just stop thinking, okay? Just stop thinking. Vera! 159 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:53,086 [ Laughing ] Hi! 160 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,441 We brought lasagna. 161 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,051 Oh, Vera, that's so considerate. 162 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,012 Let me take care of it. 163 00:05:58,009 --> 00:05:59,449 So -- So, Harper, 164 00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,796 would you say that black lives matter 165 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,967 or all lives matter? 166 00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,464 [ Grunts ] Yeah. 167 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,235 Okay, the prodigal son's returned. 168 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,979 [ Laughs ] 169 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,460 Where did you get beer at this hour on Thanksgiving? 170 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,370 Dibs on shower. 171 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,854 Pop-pop and Nanna are here. 172 00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,333 Yeah, I know. 173 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,943 How long did it take Pop-pop to do something racist? 174 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,123 Four seconds. 175 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,028 That's longer than normal. 176 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,512 Oh, God. Really? 177 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,302 Why don't you grab some aspirin? 178 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,946 And don't wipe your feet on that carpet, either. 179 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,520 I want -- 180 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:28,477 I'll get it from the sides here. 181 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,475 [ Sighs ] Geez. 182 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,906 Close the box! [ Beeping ] 183 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:33,262 Yes! Yes! [ Chuckling ] I did it. 184 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,052 [ 8-bit-style music plays ] 185 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,047 I beat my record. 186 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,139 Hello, ladies. 187 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,357 -Hi, Walter. -Hey, Walt. 188 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,876 -Happy Thanksgiving. -Who's this? 189 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:42,709 -Uh -- -Oh, that's Sue, 190 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,056 Michael's girlfriend. 191 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,135 Oh, well, "Girlfriend" is a strong -- 192 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,063 Wow, another ethnic one, huh? 193 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,448 -Mm-hmm. -Wow. 194 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,151 -Yep. -Hey! Pop-pop, hey. 195 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:52,278 How's it going? How's -- What's going on here? 196 00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,541 Oh, everything's fine. 197 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,683 Your grandfather just making me feel 198 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,845 a little uncomfortable about my heritage. 199 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,161 Great. 200 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,936 Well, it's nice to meet you, toots. 201 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,122 "Toots." 202 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,897 Why -- Why's the game not on? 203 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,601 Oh -- Because of ghosts. 204 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,339 So, uh, what about that election, huh? 205 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,870 The Clinton crime family finally gets "Trumped"! 206 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,426 -[ Groaning ] -No, no, no, no politics today! 207 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,614 Why not? 208 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,519 Because every time you bring up politics 209 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,834 there's screaming and crying and then Stevie's yelling 210 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:20,960 the F-word in your face! 211 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,532 Uh -- That only happened twice. 212 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,619 Well, it's not happening this year! 213 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:27,098 Then what the hell are we gonna do 214 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,138 if the TV's been poltergeisted? 215 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:32,194 I have an idea, Mom. What about a game? 216 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,410 What are you talking about, Olive -- 217 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,539 something like, uh, charades? 218 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,762 [ Laughs ] Ta-da! 219 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,150 Wow. So spontaneous. 220 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,074 I like charades. 221 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,937 So, are you guys brothers? 222 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,683 [ Chuckling nasally ] 223 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,954 You think I share DNA with this leprechaun? 224 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:50,907 No, we're not, and we're not -- 225 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:51,725 Brothers. 226 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,432 If we were brothers, 227 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,339 I would have walked away from this family a long time ago. 228 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:58,224 Yeah. I mean, we're brothers, I guess, if my mother had, 229 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,696 like, a horrible accident in between having us. 230 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:00,916 [ Chuckles ] 231 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,345 We're not brothers. We're comics. 232 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,051 Oh. Okay. 233 00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,088 We have a gig in Chicago. We're driving from New York. 234 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,844 Why didn't you fly? 235 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,095 Yeah, no. We can't aff-- We can't afford that. 236 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,227 -Come on. -Not -- 237 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,578 -It's insane. -Mo-- Most -- 238 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,708 Most comedians, um, have no money. 239 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:17,241 Chris drives, he has no problem with that. 240 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,795 He excels at menial tasks. 241 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:21,112 Menial tasks, and then also headlining the show. 242 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,759 Yeah, no -- Chris does what you have to refer 243 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,774 to "Headline" legally. 244 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,546 Chris has been doing comedy for decades. 245 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,550 Which is why you've never heard of me. 246 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,991 -Oh. -Yeah. 247 00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,897 Y-You're talking to each other like you hate each other. 248 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,252 Is that -- 249 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,781 -We love each other. -Oh. 250 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,335 Yeah, it's absolute love -- can't get enough. 251 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,431 It's just a coping mechanism for us to deal with the fact 252 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,820 that these are lives and careers. 253 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,783 This is what we have to do. 254 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,222 We have no real choice. What are you doing hitchhiking? 255 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,659 Ah -- You know, wh-- What is that about? 256 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:46,695 -What, did you murder somebody? -What? 257 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,140 -Well, too bad. -We had -- We had talk-- 258 00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,436 we had debated whether or not 259 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,231 you were a murderer as we picked you up. 260 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,576 We only picked you up because we thought you were a murderer. 261 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,185 -Any hitchhiker... -Yeah. Right. 262 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,315 ...it's a 30% chance they're a murderer. 263 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,577 Why did you pick me up 264 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,229 if you thought I murdered somebody? 265 00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,453 I thought you'd have a great story. 266 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:00,801 I didn't think you were a murderer. 267 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:01,801 Please don't have a shitty story. 268 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,412 -Uh -- -He said you were. 269 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,812 We had to pick you up to settle the bet. 270 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,805 -What's your back story? -You're hurting me. 271 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,417 I want it to be kind of like a John Cougar Mellencamp song. 272 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:09,507 I'm going to meet my girlfriend's family. 273 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:10,895 Cool. 274 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,028 Can I ask you -- Is your girlfriend white? 275 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,249 Come -- What? Come on, man. 276 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,378 What? How did you know that? 277 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,379 'Cause he's the type! Come on! 278 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,641 The type? 279 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,604 -That's very harsh... -Yeah. 280 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,912 ...and also just rooted in complete racism. 281 00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:23,948 Did she tell her family that you were black? 282 00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:26,264 Of course. 283 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,701 Wait -- I don't know, come to think of it. 284 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,268 [ Laughing ] This is gonna be some dinner. 285 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,786 This is very uncomfortable. 286 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,049 I think it's gonna be bad. 287 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,491 I think it's gonna be great. 288 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,047 Um, my guess is that your -- your girlfriend's 289 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:38,844 Midwestern family is really open-minded culturally. 290 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,319 -Thank you. -No -- 291 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,618 That was a sarcastic take on the Midwest. 292 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,844 I doubt that's the case. 293 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,063 I think you'd better be prepared to really fight. 294 00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,672 Anytime where we have a drive, 295 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,023 it hits a weird, grim, existential point like this. 296 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,632 -And then you apologize. -Well, no -- It's true. 297 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,592 I mean, Chris doesn't like the truth. 298 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,290 It makes him feel uncomfortable. 299 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,507 Tim loves the truth. 300 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,505 He often talks about truthful things like 301 00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:57,337 the Illuminati and the Rothschilds... 302 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,635 -No. -...lizard people... 303 00:09:58,641 --> 00:09:59,641 Well, you know -- 304 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,212 ...who live inside of Mount Shasta. 305 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,649 Speaking of lizard people, 306 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,425 your skin, you know, looks great. 307 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,869 ♪♪ 308 00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:08,736 All right, I don't want any losers on my team. 309 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,738 I already made up for enough losers in football, okay? 310 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,531 Come on, it's not about being competitive. 311 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,695 This is just for fun! 312 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,011 First of all, we need captains. 313 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,437 So let's say Olive... 314 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,883 Yes! 315 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:20,710 ...and Sue. 316 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:21,447 -Oh! -Damn it! 317 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,616 Nice. Con-- Congratulations. 318 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,062 -Oh! -This is a huge deal. 319 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,098 No, that's okay! Jude can do it. 320 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,502 -Thank you! -No, no, no! 321 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,665 Come on -- You're our guest. 322 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,150 You get up there and you pick. 323 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,020 -Come on, come on. -It'll be fun! 324 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,670 [ Laughs ] 325 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,024 Thanks, Mom. That was a good call. 326 00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,983 Uh... 327 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:41,643 Um, 328 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,821 Michael. 329 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,376 -Obviously. -You picked your boyfriend. 330 00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,732 -Big surprise. -Wow. Really adventurous. 331 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,472 -Nice choice. -Yeah. Big surprise. 332 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,562 -I choose Jude. -Oh, yeah! 333 00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:52,482 We're gonna fuck you up! 334 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:55,607 [ Dramatic music plays ] 335 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,921 [ Gunshot ] 336 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,529 [ Spooky ] Hello! 337 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,699 -Ahh! -We're gonna die! 338 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:02,754 We're all gonna die! 339 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:05,099 [ Sad ] Why are we gonna die? 340 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:08,359 Noah, it's just Nanna. Uh, pussy. 341 00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:11,583 Nanna, we're watching "Night of the Living Dead." 342 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,413 [ Normal voice ] Oh, that's nice. 343 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,941 What are you watching? 344 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,325 "Night of the Living Dead." You want to watch? 345 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,718 [ Gunfire ] 346 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,421 Sure. 347 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,638 -Movie. -Movie. 348 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:22,727 -Movie! -Pencil sharpener? Oh. 349 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,895 Uh, exhausted? Lazy? 350 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,561 -Uncle Corey! -Ohh! 351 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,505 [ Laughs ] Snap! You just got burned by a 9-year-old. 352 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,653 -[ Laughs ] -"Uncle Corey!" 353 00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,205 -[ Yawns ] -Tired! Tired! 354 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,912 -Sleeping. -"Open Carry." 355 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:35,429 -It's not your turn, Walter! -Oh, I know! 356 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,393 "Sleeping Unrealistic Feminine Ideal 357 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,312 Perpetuated by Patriarchy!" 358 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,957 Oh! Boom! 359 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,271 That's not a real movie. 360 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,526 Yes, it is! 361 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:44,358 Oh, "Sleeping Beauty"! 362 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,745 -Oh! -Boo-yah! 363 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:46,748 [ People cheering, laughter ] 364 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,399 I can't believe I didn't guess that. 365 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,843 Corey: [ Laughs ] You're up, suckers! 366 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,189 Open carry? Really, Walter? 367 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:55,539 It's the only way to keep the thugs and immigrants at bay. 368 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,850 You know I'm an immigrant, Walter. 369 00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:00,107 You came here when you were 7. 370 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,200 You don't count. 371 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,588 -Uuuuuugh! -No politics! 372 00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,331 'Cause that's how you get things done! 373 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:04,991 Just play the game. 374 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,465 Hey, Clark, you thirsty? You want a soda? 375 00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:08,855 -Uh -- -You should try this. 376 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,028 It's small-batch. It's from Vermont. 377 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,603 They make 20 cases a year. 378 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,390 "Dr. Thirsty's Cola-Flavored Sugar Tonic?" 379 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,295 I'm, like, a soda connoisseur. 380 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,910 He'll tell you -- Every where we go, I-I got to get the soda. 381 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,171 -It's disgusting. -I, uh -- Yeah, I know. 382 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,833 It -- That looks like diabetes in a bottle. 383 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:21,567 Wow, Clark. 384 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:22,996 No, no, no -- It's just -- 385 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,793 Just go ahead -- Shut down a good gesture. 386 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,657 No, I appr-- Thank you for offering. 387 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:27,788 I hope you try that with your girlfriend's parents. 388 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,490 "You want the turkey?" No, thanks. 389 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,097 Take your fucking turkey, 390 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,268 get it the fuck out of my fucking face." 391 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,843 All right, I didn't say that. 392 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,360 Clark, w-what is your deal? What are you about? 393 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,103 You want the radio on? We can the radio on. 394 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,674 -What kind of music you like? -Oh, cool. 395 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:39,800 Clark, what's your favorite music? 396 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,202 -I like The Beatles. -Ugh. 397 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,235 -The Beatles? -Yep. 398 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,459 -Wow. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 399 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,628 That's right down the middle. 400 00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,033 The Beatles are, uh, horrific. 401 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,506 -I'm glad John Lennon's dead. -What?! 402 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,585 Well, there was a very good chance he was a Soviet. 403 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,074 He's a great man. He had great ideas. 404 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:51,994 He had great ideas... 405 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:52,948 He put it into his music. 406 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:53,766 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 407 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,253 Stalin had ideas. 408 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,692 If Stalin had a guitar, he would be John Lennon. 409 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,169 Clark, this girlfriend of yours, what's her name? 410 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,429 It's Olive. 411 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,911 Your girlfriend's name is Olive? 412 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,431 -Olive, yeah. -It's very interesting to -- 413 00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,964 to date somebody named after a bar snack. 414 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,218 She's not named after a bar snack. 415 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,881 You don't know that. 416 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,175 You don't know what her parents are motivated by. 417 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,310 It's a perfectly normal name. 418 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,752 That's not a real name. 419 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,748 It's probably not her real name. 420 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,880 -People are named "Olive." -No, they're not. 421 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,413 "Corn nut" -- That would be a good name for a baby -- 422 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,837 "Corn nut." 423 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,673 Clark and Olive -- 424 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,411 That's -- I can't imagine saying to my -- 425 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,762 "You want to go hang out with Clark and Olive tonight?" 426 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,942 You will never have any friends if you get married. 427 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:32,198 That is a tough -- That is a tough sell. 428 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:35,292 Clark, I can tell you have deep secrets that you 429 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:36,772 haven't come to terms with yet, 430 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,512 and I've been in the car with you several minutes. 431 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,693 I'd love to hear these. Clark, tell us a secret. 432 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,079 Nothing, like, deep-root -- Nothing crazy. 433 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,132 Clark, if you don't tell us your secrets, 434 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,737 we're gonna start guessing your secrets, 435 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,347 and it's not gonna be pleasant. 436 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:48,828 You had sex with a dog. 437 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,608 What? 438 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:56,658 Walter: When the economy crashes, you'll be speed dialing 439 00:13:56,661 --> 00:14:00,451 the nearest NRA member with his 30-round clip. 440 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,578 [ Imitates machine-gun fire ] 441 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,409 I would put money on it, 442 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,757 but bullets... 443 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:05,666 [ Imitates machine-gun fire ] 444 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,760 ...will be our new currency. 445 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,669 Okay, that's not gonna happen, Pop-pop. 446 00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:12,504 Not anymore, thanks to Trump! 447 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,813 -[ Chuckles ] -Oh, my God! 448 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,119 Can we please just get back to charades? 449 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,455 [ Indistinct arguing ] 450 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,994 Can we get back to having some fun? 451 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:21,337 I'll give you some charades with four words -- 452 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,468 "Make America great again!" 453 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,171 -Oh, my God. -Okay, Pop-pop, 454 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:26,948 "Make America great again," though for whom? 455 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,693 You don't talk in charades, Walter. 456 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:30,353 Okay, you know what? 457 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,477 I am gonna go into the kitchen and start drinking heavily. 458 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,920 -But we're having fun! -Cheers. 459 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,086 Okay, that actually sounds like a good plan. 460 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,571 Uh, wait for us. 461 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,271 -This game was your idea. -Well, it was a bad idea. 462 00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:41,578 Okay, please, can we not make this about ethnicity or race? 463 00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,096 Okay, some of us voted for Trump 464 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,059 because we want to keep our money. 465 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:45,968 -Our money! -That's right!! 466 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,502 We worked hard for our money!! 467 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,755 Oh, my God! [ Speaks Spanish ] 468 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,798 [ Indistinct arguing ] 469 00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,763 I can't speak that lang-- 470 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,592 Okay, come on. Let's go. Yo, let's go. 471 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,111 I can understand some of what she's saying to me! 472 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,254 [ Indistinct arguing ] -It is very rude! 473 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,597 I told you his mind is warped from the war! 474 00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,117 He doesn't know what he's -- 475 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,510 Take him -- You got him, you got him, and -- 476 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,344 [ Chimes ] 477 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:10,341 No! Ohh, my wizard! 478 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:14,524 I go spring, then winter, then summer, then fall. 479 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:17,182 Oh, I hate winter. 480 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,527 Well, you know. 481 00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:21,216 Oh, um, sorry. I don't drink beer. 482 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,144 Why? 483 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,748 Mnh! 484 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,578 You know, maybe respect her privacy. 485 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,096 Oh, no. It's okay. It's okay. 486 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,410 I just -- I just don't like the taste. 487 00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:29,575 I don't like it. 488 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,100 It's okay. No one likes beer. 489 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,934 I mean, after you get through the first couple tastes 490 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,852 where, you know, it tastes like piss, 491 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,666 then it starts tasting like fun. 492 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,334 [ Laughs nervously ] You don't need to drink beer. 493 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,639 We might have, like, a white-wine sprinter or -- 494 00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,636 or hard lemonade in the stuff we stole. 495 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,468 We stole a lot. 496 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:45,855 You know what? 497 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,557 Games will help this situation, I think. Yeah. 498 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,855 [ Shouting in Spanish ] 499 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,380 Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! 500 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,434 Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! 501 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,650 Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! 502 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,220 -Shut the fuck up!! -Shut the fuck up!! 503 00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,438 [ Indistinct arguing in distance ] 504 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:00,566 Yeah, shush me. 505 00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:01,958 Mm. Mm. Mm. 506 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,831 Michael: Oh, Penny For Your Thoughts. 507 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:04,922 This is a good one, actually. 508 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,140 Oh, how do you play? 509 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,579 It's really easy -- You just take a penny, 510 00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,265 and then you make a confession. 511 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,842 And if it's really juicy, then we all have to drink. 512 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,710 But if it's lame, then you have to drink. 513 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,061 Yeah, but you don't have to drink. 514 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:15,711 It's America. It's a free country. 515 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,933 No, you do have to drink. 516 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,672 Well, I can take your turn for you. 517 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,073 -I hope it's real lame. [Laughs] -I'll go first. 518 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,146 Okay, so, earlier this week, 519 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,034 I had a pregnancy scare. 520 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,805 I think that's pretty juicy, so... 521 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,160 Hmm. 522 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,080 Really, that's gonna be your confession? 523 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,075 Of everything going on in your life right now, 524 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,507 that's the one thing you want to confess? 525 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,954 Okay, and also, uh, 526 00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,871 I dropped out of med school two years ago, 527 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:39,386 and I haven't told my parents yet. 528 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,389 And...? 529 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,521 And they still think that they're paying my tuition. 530 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:44,444 Holy shit! 531 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:45,608 [ Chuckles ] 532 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:46,833 -Ohh! -Yeah. 533 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,531 -Really? -Yeah. Shh. 534 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,309 -[ Chuckles nervously ] -Okay, well, cheers to that. 535 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,493 I mean, honestly, that's -- That's a full round. 536 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:55,619 -Yeah. -Yeah. 537 00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,363 -[ Exhales sharply ] -[ Clears throat ] 538 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,894 Just hit him in the head, right between the eyes. 539 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,147 [ Gunshot, thud ] 540 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,329 Good shot. Okay, he's dead. 541 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,755 Let's go get him. That's another one for the fire. 542 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,682 Is this "Frozen"? 543 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,587 [ Dramatic music plays ] 544 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,902 [ Beatboxing ] 545 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:21,261 I was making a beat... so you guys would say "Beets"? 546 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,907 "VeggieTales"? 547 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,311 Gwen: You can't make noise in charades, Corey. 548 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,435 What do beets have to do with vegetables? 549 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,787 Beets, like the vegetable. 550 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,136 I've never heard of it. 551 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,786 [ Stammers ] There's no such thing. 552 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,919 No, you've heard of it, Pop-pop, for sure. 553 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,532 -It's the red one. -There's no such thing. 554 00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:37,802 It is a thing. I don't know how to tell you it's a thing. 555 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,485 -It's a thing. -Baloney. 556 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:40,763 Also a thing, so... 557 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,575 Gwen, uh, you're up. 558 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:42,712 -Okay. -Yes! 559 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:43,983 -[ Giggles ] -Let's go, Gwen! 560 00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,365 All right, Gwen, let's do this. 561 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,718 Do this! Show them why I married you! 562 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:47,757 Gwen: Thank you, babe. 563 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:48,982 -[ Farts ] -Geez Louise! 564 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,420 Come on, Gwen, let's do this. 565 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,027 Come on! You smell like a bucket of cauliflower. 566 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:55,287 Two words. First word. 567 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,123 -Sweaty. -Yes, thank you. 568 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,120 -Sorry, it's just the truth. -[ Laughs ] 569 00:17:59,121 --> 00:17:59,731 Keep going. Come on. 570 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,250 -Walking. -Prize. 571 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,344 -She's perusing. -That's kind of -- 572 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,692 -Hoochie coochie? -Shopping -- shopping! 573 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,781 Sweatshop! Sweatshop! 574 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,129 It's a sweatshop! Sweatshop! 575 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:06,958 Sweatshop. 576 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:07,995 That's right! 577 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,649 Who put "Sweatshops" in? 578 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,353 Stevie did, but I haven't heard screaming in a while, 579 00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,271 so I'm betting she's making out with Jude somewhere. 580 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:16,176 And I'm the one that's supposed to be political? 581 00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,922 What's so bad about sweatshops anyway? 582 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,492 [ Groans ] 583 00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,009 My parents back in Detroit had me working when I was 7. 584 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,842 You did not work in a sweatshop, though. 585 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,410 Because I didn't apply to work in a sweatshop. 586 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,628 This is ridiculous. You're a mother -- sort of. 587 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,369 Are you really condoning child labor for making cheap sweaters? 588 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:32,631 I don't buy cheap clothes. 589 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,293 I don't care where it's made 590 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:36,027 as long as it makes me look good. 591 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:39,027 Please, I get up every day and do my job. 592 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,640 Other people can do theirs. 593 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,031 Mm-hmm. Exactly. 594 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,513 Corey, you don't have a job. 595 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:46,263 You're a drain on society. You should be a democrat. 596 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,075 Yeah, stop taking our side, freeloader. 597 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:51,484 Um, now you're for overseas labor? 598 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,348 What's your deal? I thought you're Mr. Made in the USA, 599 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,479 let's build a wall, all that stuff. 600 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:59,232 Well, the wall isn't to keep the Mexicans out of our sweatshops, 601 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:02,395 it's to keep them away from our real jobs. 602 00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:03,662 Stevie: I heard that! 603 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,234 Wow! Wow, okay, you did it now. 604 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,881 -Here she comes. -That's gonna be -- 605 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,104 Fuck you, Walter! 606 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,763 Fuck you, Miss Kale Chips! 607 00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,058 -Ohh! -Ohh! 608 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,023 [ Indistinct arguing ] 609 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:13,851 -Oh, my God! -Ohh! 610 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,198 Hello, you kale chip. 611 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,547 Oh, really? [ Shouting in Spanish ] 612 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,977 [ Indistinct arguing ] 613 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:24,384 You need to vote! You need to vote Republican! 614 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,170 [ Arguing continues in distance, toilet flushes ] 615 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,776 [ Grunts ] 616 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,466 [ TV turns on ] 617 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,823 Announcer #1: ...37-31, as we await word on whether, 618 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,303 in fact, this is a concussion. 619 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,484 Announcer #2: A couple of head injuries so far today. 620 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,660 We do have two official concussions, 621 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,216 and one incident that the league is calling 622 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,143 -just a bum noggin. -[ Panting ] 623 00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,568 So, we have two and a possible. 624 00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,664 -Yeah. -It's like a bad Spades hand. 625 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:49,063 Sweetie! You found the remote. 626 00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:52,667 Thank you. Sweetheart. 627 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:55,279 Clark, it's been a good ride. 628 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,631 Good luck with the girlfriend's family. 629 00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:01,070 Thank you, guys, so much. This was really a big help. 630 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,071 Should we exchange numbers or something? 631 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,034 Why?! 632 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,122 You don't ever want to interact with us again. 633 00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,781 Yeah, you're -- You're right. 634 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,035 You just drove me all this way, so I just thought -- 635 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,037 -Right. -That's true. 636 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,478 -Yeah. -I get it -- 637 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,515 Can we all agree that for the amount time 638 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,870 this vehicle's been in front of this house, 639 00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:20,740 it's now getting awkward? 640 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:22,481 A little bit. 641 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,752 Clark, you're somehow still in the car. 642 00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,225 Okay, all right, I'm going. I'm gonna go. 643 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,306 Thanks, guys. 644 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,974 [ Console beeps, door opens, closes ] 645 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:34,018 [ Doorbell rings ] 646 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,800 Man: Hello, friend. 647 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:40,061 Hi. Is Olive here? 648 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,074 Olive. Ohh. 649 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:46,716 Bad news bears -- You got the wrong house. 650 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,683 [ Sighs ] 651 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:51,772 ♪ Rip up that rule book, we got your crew shook ♪ 652 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,782 ♪ Eyes up in that sun, hot, and we'll burn you with one look ♪ 653 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,205 ♪ Peace out, my brother, kiss to your mother ♪ 654 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,082 ♪ Bust a couple of shots 655 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,483 ♪ and spread you team around like butter ♪ 656 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,776 ♪ Wake up, my dude, eyes black and blue ♪ 657 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:06,744 ♪ Flowers in your room that say "We hope you get well soon" ♪ 658 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:09,623 ♪ Every time I take a step, I crack a little earth ♪ 659 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:12,396 ♪ I'm pushing though the pain like a mama givin' birth ♪ 660 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:15,621 ♪ I got rep to protect, a legacy to hold ♪ 661 00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:18,802 ♪ You can keep the bronze, I'm only interested in gold ♪ 662 00:21:20,975 --> 00:21:22,145 Walt, you idiot! 663 00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,540 -Sue: Drink! [ Glasses clink ] 664 00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,073 Michael: Let's take a little break... 665 00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,286 Oh, come on! Pbbbbbht! 666 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,715 ...and -- and -- from the game. 667 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:28,551 -Boo! It's your turn! -Okay. 668 00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:29,378 [ Doorbell rings ] 669 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,545 Hello, losers. 670 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,940 We're here for our beer. 671 00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:33,382 Can you please ask your thieving offspring 672 00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:34,639 to put it back in the garage? 673 00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:37,912 [ Indistinct arguing ] 674 00:21:37,905 --> 00:21:38,815 Come and get some. 675 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:42,169 It's funny -- I-I forgot it was Thanksgiving. 676 00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,430 Ah -- owie, owie, owie, owie! 677 00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:44,692 Gwen: You know, I really think -- 678 00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:46,654 I think her family is a little bit cuckoo bird. 679 00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:48,183 Kathy: Oh, wackadoodle -- That goes without saying. 680 00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:49,996 [ Laughing ] This is awesome! 681 00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:50,964 What is happening? 682 00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:53,311 I know what's going on. 48601

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.