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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,303
[bell rings]
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,774
? When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ?
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,676
? I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ?
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,579
? By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ?
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:16,183
? I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ?
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,018
? It's all right ?
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,687
? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?
8
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,925
? If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ?
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,828
? And my dog ate
all my homework last night ?
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,864
? Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ?
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,368
? If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ?
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,236
? It's all right ?
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,106
? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,789
? It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ?
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,692
? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ?
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:03,197
? It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ?
17
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,335
Science projects
are due this week.
18
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,671
I'm working with Jessie
on a micro-listening device.
19
00:01:20,771 --> 00:01:21,839
We're the perfect team--
20
00:01:21,939 --> 00:01:24,008
she works hard, I hardly work.
21
00:01:25,943 --> 00:01:29,547
Mr. Morris, shouldn't we be
working on our science project?
22
00:01:29,747 --> 00:01:31,248
I'm sorry,
Mr. Tuttle,
23
00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:33,551
but science doesn't turn me on.
24
00:01:33,684 --> 00:01:37,254
Oh, hooey. Science
is the ultimate turn-on.
25
00:01:37,337 --> 00:01:38,386
Let me show you.
26
00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:39,790
Walk this way.
27
00:01:45,262 --> 00:01:46,530
What have we here?
28
00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,365
Intrigue us with your ingenuity.
29
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:51,168
The ultimate bike-riding
accessory --
30
00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:53,103
a portable bug zapper.
31
00:01:53,204 --> 00:01:57,074
You can pedal as fast as you
want without swallowing flies.
32
00:01:57,274 --> 00:01:59,476
All right, Morris, let's hustle.
33
00:02:02,046 --> 00:02:03,547
Now look.
34
00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:05,883
What is this fascinating
phenomenon of physicality?
35
00:02:05,983 --> 00:02:07,151
It's a love machine.
36
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:08,652
I've been called that.
37
00:02:08,752 --> 00:02:11,121
You've been called
a lot of things.
38
00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:14,058
If two people have any
feeling for each other,
39
00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:15,659
this machine will tell us.
40
00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:17,595
Affection detection.
41
00:02:17,661 --> 00:02:19,296
A fine selection.
42
00:02:19,496 --> 00:02:22,399
Now on to more
tantalizing topics.
43
00:02:27,171 --> 00:02:29,974
Why, look, whirling
wheels of wonderment.
44
00:02:30,074 --> 00:02:32,209
Whoopee, wow, and wazoo.
45
00:02:33,344 --> 00:02:36,280
Mr. T, you're looking
at gas-powered,
46
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:39,583
turbo-charged limousines
for the feet.
47
00:02:39,683 --> 00:02:43,320
Like, these blaster blades are gonna
totally rewrite the books on speed skating.
48
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,856
Are there books
on speed skating?
49
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,426
Excuse us. Sorry
for the interruption.
50
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,762
Not as sorry as I am.
51
00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:54,498
I have a new student
for your class.
52
00:02:54,899 --> 00:02:57,568
I'd like you to meet
Jennifer Wade.
53
00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:59,570
[all]
Hi.
54
00:03:00,004 --> 00:03:02,806
Whoa! Slater,
check out the new girl.
55
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,508
Slater.
56
00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:06,010
Shh!
57
00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:07,444
I'm serious.
Check her out.
58
00:03:07,544 --> 00:03:09,413
I'm in big trouble.
59
00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:11,448
That's my girlfriend
from Germany.
60
00:03:11,548 --> 00:03:13,884
[bell rings]
61
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:25,663
I want you to make sure
Jennifer feels at home.
62
00:03:25,729 --> 00:03:27,298
Her father's in the army.
63
00:03:27,398 --> 00:03:29,300
She's never been
to school in the states.
64
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,734
We got it covered.
65
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:32,536
She's in great hands.
66
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,171
Thanks for everything.
67
00:03:34,271 --> 00:03:36,040
It's really good to be home.
68
00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:37,975
Anytime, Jennifer.
And remember,
69
00:03:38,042 --> 00:03:41,979
here at Bayside, the
principal's door is always open.
70
00:03:46,951 --> 00:03:49,920
It's open if I want
to go in right now...
71
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,089
But I don't.
72
00:03:53,257 --> 00:03:54,558
Um...
73
00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:57,127
So, you're from Germany.
74
00:03:57,191 --> 00:03:59,060
Welcome to our country.
75
00:03:59,129 --> 00:04:02,466
English is an easy
language to learn.
76
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,323
Thank you, but I already know--
77
00:04:04,387 --> 00:04:06,989
See? You're learning fast.
78
00:04:07,671 --> 00:04:10,140
I'll be right back.
79
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:14,078
I'm going to what we
Americans call a locker.
80
00:04:16,413 --> 00:04:19,283
And he's what we Americans
call an idiot.
81
00:04:22,286 --> 00:04:23,687
So my family moved,
82
00:04:23,787 --> 00:04:25,756
and Jennifer and I
never really broke up.
83
00:04:25,856 --> 00:04:28,425
You're saying you have
two girlfriends?
84
00:04:28,592 --> 00:04:30,561
What's the big deal?
That's great.
85
00:04:30,761 --> 00:04:32,796
Jessie won't think it's great.
86
00:04:32,896 --> 00:04:34,098
Good point.
87
00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:36,333
Help me keep Jennifer
and Jessie apart
88
00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:37,835
until I can figure out
what to do.
89
00:04:37,935 --> 00:04:39,003
No problem.
90
00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:41,372
Guys, come over
and meet Jennifer.
91
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:47,911
Albert Clifford?
Is that you?
92
00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:49,279
Albert?
93
00:04:49,346 --> 00:04:50,614
Clifford?
94
00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:53,851
That's why I
shortened it to A.C.
95
00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:55,753
I can't believe it!
96
00:04:55,886 --> 00:04:58,122
It's so good to see you.
97
00:04:58,322 --> 00:04:59,656
You go to school here?
98
00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:01,825
Yeah. It's great
to see you.
99
00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:03,718
You know each other?
100
00:05:03,861 --> 00:05:06,764
Looks like Al and Jenn
know each other, Jess.
101
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:10,901
We lived next-door to each other
on my dad's army base.
102
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,770
Really?
That's amazing.
103
00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:17,007
Well, why don't we hear more
about Little Albie over lunch?
104
00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:19,443
We can't. We have
student council.
105
00:05:19,543 --> 00:05:21,979
Oh, where has my mind gone?
106
00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:24,982
My dad asks me that
all the time.
107
00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:29,520
Guys, why don't we take
Jennifer to the Max?
108
00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:31,889
That is a great idea, Slater.
109
00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:33,290
Bye-bye.
110
00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:34,992
See you guys.
111
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,761
Jenn, you go ahead with them.
112
00:05:37,861 --> 00:05:39,563
I'll catch up with you.
113
00:05:39,663 --> 00:05:40,664
O.K.
114
00:05:40,764 --> 00:05:42,032
Don't worry, foreign lady.
115
00:05:42,132 --> 00:05:43,801
I'll read the menu for you.
116
00:05:52,009 --> 00:05:54,545
Remember, Screech, you
can't let Jennifer find out
117
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,346
that Slater
is Jessie's boyfriend.
118
00:05:56,447 --> 00:05:57,714
Don't say a word.
119
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,416
O.K. Can I burp?
120
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,519
Don't even open your mouth.
121
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,321
All right.
122
00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:09,793
Oh, hey, guys, are the
hamburgers any good here?
123
00:06:09,927 --> 00:06:12,096
[mumbling]
124
00:06:13,597 --> 00:06:15,199
The hamburgers are great.
125
00:06:15,299 --> 00:06:18,035
So, you and Slater were
going steady in Germany?
126
00:06:18,302 --> 00:06:21,338
For 14 months. Then
his dad got transferred.
127
00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:24,575
I'd have let my dad move,
and I would've stayed.
128
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,243
Thanks.
129
00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:29,146
When Albert left,
we made one of those promises
130
00:06:29,213 --> 00:06:31,348
that we wouldn't go out
with anyone else ever.
131
00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:32,649
Can you believe that?
132
00:06:32,749 --> 00:06:34,017
Mm-hmm.
133
00:06:37,054 --> 00:06:40,290
Jenn, remember this
shirt? You gave it to me.
134
00:06:40,591 --> 00:06:42,559
Yeah.
It still looks good.
135
00:06:42,626 --> 00:06:45,095
Thanks for keeping
Jennifer company.
136
00:06:45,162 --> 00:06:48,565
You probably have some
things you want to do now, so...
137
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,435
No, we're fine
right here, Big Al.
138
00:06:52,603 --> 00:06:53,804
Beat it, Zack.
139
00:06:53,904 --> 00:06:54,972
Yes.
140
00:06:55,072 --> 00:06:57,474
Student council meeting
was canceled.
141
00:06:57,574 --> 00:06:58,542
Why?
142
00:06:58,609 --> 00:07:01,478
Jessie slammed her gavel
on Ronald Geekman's hand so hard
143
00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:04,448
that his retainer flew out
and hit Mr. Belding in the eye.
144
00:07:05,115 --> 00:07:08,352
It was an accident. Besides,
Geekman's got a big mouth.
145
00:07:08,585 --> 00:07:10,120
I'll see you later.
146
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,655
Where are you guys going?
147
00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:15,192
Your food hasn't come yet.
Sit. Stay. Eat.
148
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,263
So, Jennifer, tell us all about
Albert Clifford in Germany.
149
00:07:19,463 --> 00:07:22,432
No one wants to hear
about boring old me.
150
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:24,668
Did Slater have
a lot of girlfriends?
151
00:07:24,768 --> 00:07:26,637
Not a lot.
Just one.
152
00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:30,107
Slater, you, Jennifer, and I
should see Mr. Belding.
153
00:07:30,174 --> 00:07:32,142
Retainer wounds
are very dangerous.
154
00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:34,878
Stay. The big baby's
all right.
155
00:07:35,045 --> 00:07:37,714
I'm curious about Albert myself.
156
00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:40,017
Is he a big man on campus here?
157
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:42,019
Slater's quarterback
of the football team.
158
00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:44,421
Don't forget captain
of the wrestling team.
159
00:07:44,488 --> 00:07:46,823
His girlfriend Jessie is
president of the school.
160
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,296
You two are going together?
161
00:07:52,496 --> 00:07:53,797
Yeah.
162
00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:55,866
Oh. Gosh,
look at the time.
163
00:07:55,966 --> 00:07:58,302
I have to go meet my
guidance counselor now.
164
00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:03,073
Well, gee, guys,
we got to go, too.
165
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:07,244
Come here. I told you not to tell
Jennifer about Slater and Jessie.
166
00:08:07,344 --> 00:08:09,680
So I forgot. Sue me.
167
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:16,887
Love machine
experiment number two.
168
00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:20,090
[buzz]
169
00:08:20,224 --> 00:08:22,025
Contrary to popular belief,
170
00:08:22,125 --> 00:08:25,963
peanut butter and jelly have
no visible feelings for each other.
171
00:08:27,764 --> 00:08:29,766
That Jennifer's
a really sweet girl.
172
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:32,135
I'd like to spend some time
with her and get to know her.
173
00:08:32,236 --> 00:08:34,071
Yeah, I wouldn't
mind that myself.
174
00:08:35,505 --> 00:08:36,907
Let's finish this first.
175
00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:38,375
There we go.
176
00:08:38,742 --> 00:08:40,377
Hey, Screech, could you help us?
177
00:08:40,477 --> 00:08:42,579
Zack and I finished
our micro-listener.
178
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,348
We need someone
to test its range.
179
00:08:44,414 --> 00:08:46,383
We hid the device in this pen.
180
00:08:46,483 --> 00:08:48,018
Walk through the halls,
181
00:08:48,118 --> 00:08:50,220
and it should pick up
any conversation around you.
182
00:08:50,587 --> 00:08:53,557
Always the guinea pig,
never the inea.
183
00:08:55,459 --> 00:08:57,694
You could have told me
you had a girlfriend.
184
00:08:57,794 --> 00:09:00,364
I never expected
to see you again.
185
00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:03,066
The minute I saw you,
186
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,035
it was like nothing had changed.
187
00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:07,204
I feel the same way.
188
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:10,307
This isn't
a smart place to talk.
189
00:09:10,407 --> 00:09:13,076
Why don't you give me your
phone number, and I'll call you?
190
00:09:13,543 --> 00:09:15,879
Screech, let me borrow this pen.
191
00:09:16,113 --> 00:09:17,714
It's not really a pen.
192
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,750
If it has ink, it'll do.
193
00:09:20,217 --> 00:09:21,752
Jenn, write down your number.
194
00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,287
But...
195
00:09:23,487 --> 00:09:24,788
Oh, my gosh!
196
00:09:26,256 --> 00:09:27,891
Why does he want her number?
197
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,093
The micro-listener works fine.
198
00:09:30,193 --> 00:09:31,428
Let's call it a day.
199
00:09:31,528 --> 00:09:33,563
Move it or lose it.
200
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:36,266
I never expected
my girlfriend to show up
201
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,335
from halfway around the world.
202
00:09:38,435 --> 00:09:39,970
Girlfriend?
203
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:42,572
Yeah. She's a girl,
and she's an old friend.
204
00:09:42,673 --> 00:09:43,940
Feel better?
205
00:09:44,007 --> 00:09:47,311
Out of my way. I'm going
to break his cheating heart.
206
00:09:48,545 --> 00:09:52,249
Can't let my good friends Jessie
and Slater break up over a girl,
207
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:54,484
especially one I'd like to date.
208
00:09:58,955 --> 00:10:00,290
I'm dead.
209
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:02,893
Jessie's gonna rip my
eyes out, punch my face in,
210
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,394
then break up with me.
211
00:10:04,494 --> 00:10:05,862
It's her usual pattern.
212
00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:08,231
Look, Slater, the only
way out of this is for you
213
00:10:08,332 --> 00:10:10,734
to tell Jessie it's over
between you and Jennifer.
214
00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:12,869
It's not.
That's the problem.
215
00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:14,604
What am I gonna do?
216
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:16,840
Make up your mind
who you really want.
217
00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,241
Right.
218
00:10:18,542 --> 00:10:20,010
Who do I want?
219
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,145
Let's do a little
comparison shopping.
220
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:23,513
First you have Jennifer.
221
00:10:23,613 --> 00:10:25,282
She's very, very average.
222
00:10:25,349 --> 00:10:26,883
Then there's Jessie.
223
00:10:26,983 --> 00:10:29,386
She's bright, beautiful,
extremely above average.
224
00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:32,255
Your sweet, loving mama.
225
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:35,158
Yeah. Yeah, she is
my mama, isn't she?
226
00:10:35,258 --> 00:10:37,027
There's your decision.
Dump Jennifer.
227
00:10:37,127 --> 00:10:38,395
- Right.
- Yes.
228
00:10:38,662 --> 00:10:39,930
Wrong.
229
00:10:40,263 --> 00:10:42,132
Preppie, I don't know
what I want.
230
00:10:42,232 --> 00:10:43,800
Slap some sense into me.
231
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,936
Would you get
ahold of yourself?
232
00:10:48,672 --> 00:10:51,708
If there was some way
Jennifer wasn't a threat to Jessie.
233
00:10:51,808 --> 00:10:54,277
You need some guy
to ask Jennifer out
234
00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:55,979
to take the heat off of you.
235
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:59,149
Right. But where
will I find this guy?
236
00:10:59,983 --> 00:11:02,352
Preppie, how about you?
237
00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,424
Whew!
238
00:11:07,758 --> 00:11:09,526
Slater, I just came from school.
239
00:11:09,626 --> 00:11:10,994
Jessie's on a rampage.
240
00:11:11,094 --> 00:11:13,597
She spray-painted "death
to Slater" on your locker.
241
00:11:13,764 --> 00:11:14,998
No problem.
242
00:11:15,098 --> 00:11:16,633
Zack's going to ask Jennifer out
243
00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:18,568
so Jessie won't be jealous.
244
00:11:18,668 --> 00:11:20,270
I'm home free.
245
00:11:20,704 --> 00:11:22,372
I'll ask again.
246
00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:24,908
Why did you want
her phone number?
247
00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:26,710
Could you loosen up?
248
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:29,012
I'm losing vision
in my right eye.
249
00:11:30,113 --> 00:11:32,082
Tell me now before I get angry.
250
00:11:33,383 --> 00:11:36,286
I needed the number because
I couldn't tell her in person
251
00:11:36,386 --> 00:11:38,088
that it was over.
252
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:40,157
Then it's definitely over?
253
00:11:40,223 --> 00:11:41,958
Absolutely.
254
00:11:43,326 --> 00:11:44,828
Will you pop the back of my neck
255
00:11:44,928 --> 00:11:47,597
so my Adam's apple
snaps back into place?
256
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:52,202
Bye, sweetie.
257
00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:02,646
Zack, I want you to
ask Jennifer on a date.
258
00:12:02,879 --> 00:12:05,148
Me date Jennifer?
259
00:12:07,784 --> 00:12:09,719
But... why?
260
00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:12,789
I want to test Big Al's
true feelings.
261
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:16,827
If my jerk from Germany sees
you with Jennifer and doesn't care,
262
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,995
then I know he's mine.
263
00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:21,998
O.K. But only
because we're friends.
264
00:12:22,165 --> 00:12:23,533
And you're paying.
265
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:25,669
Screech!
266
00:12:26,102 --> 00:12:29,372
I feel terrible. I mean,
Jessie won't talk to me.
267
00:12:30,807 --> 00:12:33,310
The minute you and Zack show
up on your fake date at the Max,
268
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:36,079
Jessie will like you and
Slater will be off the hook.
269
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,248
What fake date?
270
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,486
The one Slater asked Zack
to take you on.
271
00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:44,955
But shh! Don't let
Jessie find out.
272
00:12:46,723 --> 00:12:49,626
Date Zack, huh? O.K.
273
00:12:49,826 --> 00:12:51,695
If Albert wants me to date Zack,
274
00:12:51,795 --> 00:12:54,464
then I'll teach him a
lesson he'll never forget.
275
00:12:58,602 --> 00:13:00,937
- Look who's here.
- Look who's here.
276
00:13:01,004 --> 00:13:02,672
Zack and Jennifer.
277
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,841
Hi, guys.
You all know Jennifer.
278
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:06,209
Hi.
279
00:13:06,276 --> 00:13:09,045
I planned on Jennifer
and I sitting alone.
280
00:13:09,145 --> 00:13:10,480
Oh.
I don't mind.
281
00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:11,781
Do you mind, Slater?
282
00:13:11,848 --> 00:13:13,450
Oh, I don't mind.
283
00:13:22,025 --> 00:13:24,761
Look at the way
they're holding hands.
284
00:13:25,295 --> 00:13:26,897
What can I get you guys?
285
00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:29,232
How about one burger,
and we'll meet at the pickle?
286
00:13:29,332 --> 00:13:31,334
Can you rush that order?
287
00:13:31,434 --> 00:13:32,736
Yeah.
288
00:13:32,969 --> 00:13:34,671
[music plays]
289
00:13:42,879 --> 00:13:44,915
It's getting hot
and heavy over there.
290
00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:47,150
Zack didn't waste any time.
291
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,719
I guess there's nothing wrong
with Zack dancing with Jennifer,
292
00:13:49,819 --> 00:13:51,488
is there, Slater?
293
00:13:53,189 --> 00:13:55,792
No. I'm happy
they're hitting it off.
294
00:13:55,926 --> 00:13:57,060
Real happy.
295
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,262
I'll be right back.
296
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,936
You're doing great.
297
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,705
Hold me closer, Zack.
298
00:14:08,939 --> 00:14:10,674
Only if you insist.
299
00:14:13,009 --> 00:14:14,377
May I cut in?
300
00:14:14,578 --> 00:14:15,579
Sure.
301
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:16,680
Thank you.
302
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,417
I thought maybe after
I dropped off Jessie,
303
00:14:20,517 --> 00:14:22,686
I'd come by your house,
and we can talk.
304
00:14:22,786 --> 00:14:24,721
You better call first
305
00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:27,290
because I'm going
to the beach with Zack.
306
00:14:28,425 --> 00:14:29,559
Wait right here.
307
00:14:29,659 --> 00:14:30,961
Be right back.
308
00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:34,364
Hey. A walk
on the beach?
309
00:14:34,464 --> 00:14:35,832
What are you doing?
310
00:14:35,932 --> 00:14:37,801
I'm making it look convincing.
311
00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:40,937
You're supposed to be
convincing Jessie, not Jennifer.
312
00:14:43,707 --> 00:14:46,776
Now our next presenters
are Kelly and Screech
313
00:14:46,876 --> 00:14:48,678
and the love detector.
314
00:14:48,745 --> 00:14:50,647
All right.
Go get 'em, Screech.
315
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:53,583
- Look at this.
- Pretty neat, Screech.
316
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,387
When two people are
hooked up to the machine,
317
00:14:57,487 --> 00:15:00,023
their feelings for each other
are registered on the front scale.
318
00:15:00,123 --> 00:15:01,324
Any volunteers?
319
00:15:01,424 --> 00:15:03,093
How about Zack and Jennifer?
320
00:15:03,727 --> 00:15:05,729
Ingenious idea.
321
00:15:05,962 --> 00:15:08,298
Fly, lovebirds,
to the mate meter.
322
00:15:12,235 --> 00:15:15,739
Wow, Jennifer, you have
soft, lovely hands.
323
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:17,340
They're mine, nimwad.
324
00:15:18,108 --> 00:15:19,643
S-Sorry, Zack.
325
00:15:21,544 --> 00:15:23,580
Our subjects are connected.
326
00:15:23,747 --> 00:15:25,682
Kelly, hit the juice.
327
00:15:31,154 --> 00:15:32,422
Very compatible.
328
00:15:32,555 --> 00:15:34,457
Way to go, Preppie.
Thanks.
329
00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:38,128
I ask for one favor,
and you steal my girlfriend.
330
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,365
She's still your girlfriend?
331
00:15:42,799 --> 00:15:45,568
Uh, well, I mean,
my old girlfriend.
332
00:15:45,669 --> 00:15:47,437
But-- but, you see...
333
00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:51,041
It's all this stupid
machine's fault.
334
00:15:54,778 --> 00:15:56,846
Jessie, wait. I--
335
00:16:07,023 --> 00:16:08,091
That's it!
336
00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:10,360
Me and the neanderthal
are through.
337
00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:13,296
Jessie, Slater didn't try
to deliberately hurt you.
338
00:16:13,396 --> 00:16:15,799
He got caught in
a weird situation.
339
00:16:15,865 --> 00:16:19,102
He could've told me the truth!
340
00:16:19,502 --> 00:16:22,472
I happen to be a very
understanding person, you know.
341
00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:26,176
I sense that.
342
00:16:26,409 --> 00:16:29,312
You're the only one who
will lose if you break up.
343
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,715
You'll drive him
back to Jennifer.
344
00:16:33,917 --> 00:16:35,819
That's where he wants to be.
345
00:16:36,219 --> 00:16:38,121
You don't know for sure.
346
00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:41,925
Maybe they should go on a date
to see how they feel.
347
00:16:42,225 --> 00:16:43,460
What?
348
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:47,864
Jessie, sometimes you
have to let go of a person
349
00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:50,667
to find out if there's
something there to hold onto.
350
00:16:52,268 --> 00:16:54,370
I don't want to lose Slater.
351
00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,306
I love him.
352
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,586
Jessie?
353
00:17:12,188 --> 00:17:15,725
Jessie, look, I should have
told you from the beginning.
354
00:17:15,992 --> 00:17:17,794
I'm sorry I hurt you.
355
00:17:20,663 --> 00:17:22,565
Do you still like Jennifer?
356
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:25,435
That doesn't really matter.
357
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:27,504
You're my girl now.
358
00:17:28,304 --> 00:17:30,573
No, Slater. Look...
359
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:35,678
It's obvious that you and Jennifer
have feelings for each other.
360
00:17:36,279 --> 00:17:39,149
You need to go out and
see what's really there.
361
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,851
Are you sure?
362
00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:45,855
Yeah. But if you pick her,
I get to keep your jacket.
363
00:17:48,591 --> 00:17:50,960
Mama, you're the greatest.
364
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:54,264
Just remember that on
your date, Albert Clifford.
365
00:18:02,105 --> 00:18:04,073
Hey, you sure you want
to sit up front?
366
00:18:04,174 --> 00:18:06,776
We always used to sit in
the back at the Berlin-o-plex.
367
00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:09,445
I know, but I like
to sit closer now.
368
00:18:15,618 --> 00:18:18,488
Yeah. I like
to sit closer, too.
369
00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:28,498
No, I've changed my mind.
370
00:18:28,598 --> 00:18:30,233
I don't want to go
through with this.
371
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,736
My romantic future depends
on what happens tonight.
372
00:18:33,837 --> 00:18:35,238
Besides, you like Jennifer.
373
00:18:35,338 --> 00:18:37,440
You want to see her
end up with Slater?
374
00:18:37,865 --> 00:18:39,142
No.
375
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,978
But why do I have to
dress up as the old lady?
376
00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:44,848
The support hose were
cutting off my circulation.
377
00:18:44,948 --> 00:18:47,684
Stop complaining. We got
the senior discount.
378
00:19:02,332 --> 00:19:03,766
What do you think?
379
00:19:03,967 --> 00:19:05,602
Does it look
like they're bonding?
380
00:19:05,969 --> 00:19:09,072
No. They're still eating
popcorn from separate tubs.
381
00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:10,640
Shh!
382
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,308
Sorry, Sonny.
383
00:19:13,877 --> 00:19:15,678
You're going to love this movie.
384
00:19:15,778 --> 00:19:17,914
I heard Mel Gibson is great.
385
00:19:18,147 --> 00:19:20,116
I'm getting tired of Mel Gibson.
386
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:22,085
I like Kevin Costner.
387
00:19:22,151 --> 00:19:23,953
- Kevin Costner?
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:19:24,087 --> 00:19:26,689
He's O.K. I guess.
389
00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:28,791
What'd they say?
I can't hear them.
390
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,827
I don't know.
My girdle's killing me.
391
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,004
Can I help you with something?
392
00:19:41,104 --> 00:19:44,307
Uh, you just back up there
because I have mace.
393
00:19:44,407 --> 00:19:45,642
Sorry.
394
00:19:45,742 --> 00:19:49,445
You should be because people
like you don't make it safe for us.
395
00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:54,217
You're going to blow it.
396
00:19:54,317 --> 00:19:56,519
Great. You just broke
your bra.
397
00:19:57,387 --> 00:19:59,155
Jennifer, let's move.
398
00:20:07,997 --> 00:20:10,934
This is fun being
together again, Jenn.
399
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:14,370
If you don't mind, I like
being called Jennifer now.
400
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,306
Oh. I'm sorry.
401
00:20:16,372 --> 00:20:17,941
That's O.K., Albie.
402
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:19,943
While we're on name changes,
403
00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:22,779
it's, uh, A.C. now,
not Albie.
404
00:20:22,912 --> 00:20:25,014
And please, can Clifford.
405
00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:27,216
Great.
I can't hear them.
406
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,485
It doesn't look
so good from here.
407
00:20:30,952 --> 00:20:32,283
Ow.
408
00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:33,623
What's wrong?
409
00:20:33,823 --> 00:20:35,158
My neck hurts.
410
00:20:35,258 --> 00:20:37,060
Someone twisted it this morning.
411
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,695
Well, here. Let me
rub it for you.
412
00:20:38,761 --> 00:20:40,229
Oh, great.
413
00:20:41,164 --> 00:20:44,367
Oh, my gosh,
they're going to kiss.
414
00:20:45,301 --> 00:20:47,103
I can't take this anymore.
415
00:20:48,071 --> 00:20:49,138
Wait--
416
00:20:49,238 --> 00:20:51,307
uh, gee-- whoa.
417
00:20:58,414 --> 00:21:00,683
Kelly, check out
that old couple.
418
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:03,019
They keep making weird noises.
419
00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:07,924
Is there anything
I can do for you?
420
00:21:08,291 --> 00:21:11,194
Do you have anything on
the menu for a broken heart?
421
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:14,931
Oh, we're fine, Kelly.
Just a little depressed.
422
00:21:15,031 --> 00:21:17,533
Zack? Jessie?
Is that you?
423
00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:20,336
Yeah. We got dressed
in disguises
424
00:21:20,436 --> 00:21:22,772
to spy on Jennifer
and Slater's date.
425
00:21:22,872 --> 00:21:24,707
That's terrible.
What happened?
426
00:21:24,807 --> 00:21:26,976
We left before
they started making out.
427
00:21:27,076 --> 00:21:28,344
Oh.
428
00:21:30,179 --> 00:21:32,482
Hey, Kelly.
Excuse me, folks.
429
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:33,893
Have you seen Zack and Jessie?
430
00:21:33,989 --> 00:21:35,324
We need to talk to them.
431
00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:50,366
You mean you were the two
old geezers in the movies?
432
00:21:51,034 --> 00:21:53,269
Look, we apologize for spying.
433
00:21:54,504 --> 00:21:57,407
I realize now the two of you
were meant for each other.
434
00:21:57,507 --> 00:22:01,144
No. Jenn and Albert Clifford
were meant for each other,
435
00:22:01,277 --> 00:22:02,779
but they grew up.
436
00:22:02,912 --> 00:22:06,649
We found out that Jennifer
and A.C. are just friends.
437
00:22:06,883 --> 00:22:08,484
You're my girl.
438
00:22:18,594 --> 00:22:21,297
So... Jennifer.
439
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:24,033
I guess this kind of
makes you available.
440
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:25,601
Yeah, kind of.
441
00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,804
Zack, I was wondering...
442
00:22:28,171 --> 00:22:29,906
do you like Kevin Costner?
443
00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:32,909
[as old woman]
Oh, yes, he's great.
444
00:22:33,009 --> 00:22:35,011
He's cooler than Mel Gibson.
445
00:22:35,478 --> 00:22:37,080
Do you know a cute blond guy
446
00:22:37,146 --> 00:22:39,215
who'd like to take me to
the movies tomorrow night?
447
00:22:40,016 --> 00:22:42,919
I'm your man if I don't
have to wear this girdle.
448
00:22:42,969 --> 00:22:47,519
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