All language subtitles for SMILF - 01x07 - Family-Sized Popcorn & a Can of Wine.web-strife.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:10,460 _ 2 00:00:10,461 --> 00:00:12,210 Larry, this is a big day. 3 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:13,793 - You know why? - No. 4 00:00:13,793 --> 00:00:16,544 Diaper-wearing time has officially run out. 5 00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:18,002 You are a big boy. 6 00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,662 We gotta learn how to use the toilet. 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,377 - Deal? - No. 8 00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:23,708 Not a deal. 9 00:00:23,755 --> 00:00:25,520 If you go on the toilet, you can bonk me. 10 00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:26,606 Okay. 11 00:00:26,664 --> 00:00:28,206 - You wanna bonk me? - Yeah. 12 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,519 Oh! Now you wanna go on the toilet? 13 00:00:30,544 --> 00:00:31,780 - No. - Okay. 14 00:00:31,884 --> 00:00:34,396 You know, sometimes you'll get to pee like this, standing up. 15 00:00:34,747 --> 00:00:36,543 Wonder why I don't pee standing up. 16 00:00:36,969 --> 00:00:39,590 Okay, I'll sit on your toilet and then you sit on my toilet. 17 00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:40,551 Okay? 18 00:00:40,576 --> 00:00:41,409 Okay. 19 00:00:41,431 --> 00:00:42,807 You don't fit on there. 20 00:00:42,832 --> 00:00:43,923 I do too. 21 00:00:44,028 --> 00:00:45,785 You said you'd learn how to use the toilet today 22 00:00:45,849 --> 00:00:47,691 - Do you want to use the toilet? - No. 23 00:00:47,716 --> 00:00:49,508 - Please? - No. 24 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,514 Can you hold up your side of the bargain? 25 00:00:51,966 --> 00:00:53,969 I'm on your toilet. Get on my toilet. 26 00:00:54,563 --> 00:00:55,475 Ugh. 27 00:00:55,841 --> 00:00:57,592 I'm a terrible mother, huh? 28 00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,185 I don't know how to do this. 29 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,037 Does that make you feel guilty enough to try? 30 00:01:05,622 --> 00:01:06,955 - No. - No. 31 00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:40,205 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:45,908 --> 00:01:47,501 Seriously? 33 00:01:49,163 --> 00:01:50,331 Hey, buddy. 34 00:01:51,687 --> 00:01:53,401 Morning. 35 00:01:53,828 --> 00:01:55,517 Good morning. 36 00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:00,477 Whoa. 37 00:02:00,571 --> 00:02:01,745 What are you doin' here? 38 00:02:01,745 --> 00:02:03,034 It's my house, Rafi. 39 00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:04,662 What are you doin' here? 40 00:02:06,245 --> 00:02:07,427 Last night, um... 41 00:02:11,721 --> 00:02:13,412 ...I got locked out of Sober Living. 42 00:02:13,412 --> 00:02:14,370 Hmm. 43 00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:16,370 Well, you know, there's these neat things 44 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,704 all over Boston... You know, beds, showers... 45 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:20,828 Called hotels. 46 00:02:21,219 --> 00:02:22,412 Where's Bridgette? 47 00:02:22,412 --> 00:02:24,396 She's dropping Larry off with Tutu. 48 00:02:24,885 --> 00:02:25,968 Cute dog, 49 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,078 but you need to get out. 50 00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:29,568 If Virginia saw this, 51 00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,614 you and the dog here, she would freak the fuck out. 52 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:32,810 - Okay. Okay. - And you know it. 53 00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:34,185 - Get dressed. - Uh-huh. 54 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,060 Put my sofa bed back how it was, 55 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:37,251 and you have a good day. 56 00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:38,610 Hey, I'm sorry, okay. 57 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:39,613 I'm gone. 58 00:02:44,151 --> 00:02:45,224 Mother? 59 00:02:45,403 --> 00:02:46,485 Go away. 60 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:47,920 Mommy? 61 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,152 - Go away. - It's Bridgette. 62 00:02:50,318 --> 00:02:52,818 I know. Go away. I'm sleeping. 63 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,190 Well, you gotta get up. 64 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,151 I still can't get Larry to use the toilet 65 00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:58,651 and I need you to do it, and he's downstairs waiting. 66 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,203 What? Why? 67 00:03:00,318 --> 00:03:02,151 What do you mean, why? You said you'd watch him. 68 00:03:02,151 --> 00:03:03,859 It's my day off. Get up. 69 00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:05,604 No, I really can't, Bridge. 70 00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:08,626 No, you promised. Remember? 71 00:03:08,817 --> 00:03:11,151 Come on, I haven't had a day off in forever. 72 00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:13,251 I just want to go to the movies and zone out. 73 00:03:13,685 --> 00:03:15,248 You're seriously asking 74 00:03:15,273 --> 00:03:18,483 to spend time away from your child at a fucking movie? 75 00:03:18,817 --> 00:03:19,942 - Yes. - Really, it's a... 76 00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:21,304 It's horrible, Bridgette. 77 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,817 - Well, I'm a horrible mother. - Mm. 78 00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:25,984 - Now get your fat ass up. - Hmm. 79 00:03:25,984 --> 00:03:27,234 - Come on. - No! 80 00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:28,844 - Move it! - I'm not! 81 00:03:29,238 --> 00:03:30,480 I said no! 82 00:03:32,459 --> 00:03:33,709 Get out the room! 83 00:03:36,026 --> 00:03:37,842 Is this 'cause of Edmond? 84 00:03:41,527 --> 00:03:43,198 I don't wanna talk about it. 85 00:03:47,482 --> 00:03:49,250 Well, change of plans. 86 00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:51,448 Just me and you today, kid. 87 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,940 - Okay? - Okay, Mommy. 88 00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,607 You need to use the potty before we get in the car? 89 00:03:55,638 --> 00:03:58,435 - No. - Yes, 'cause today's the day. 90 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,082 Come on, let's go. 91 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,290 Good luck there, Bridge. 92 00:04:02,315 --> 00:04:03,975 I have no idea what I'm doing. 93 00:04:04,274 --> 00:04:05,841 Is she okay? 94 00:04:06,315 --> 00:04:09,199 Sure. You know, the moods. 95 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,801 Yeah, right. 96 00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:12,898 ♪ Wheels on the bus go ♪ 97 00:04:12,898 --> 00:04:14,149 ♪ Round and round ♪ 98 00:04:14,149 --> 00:04:16,296 Is that a space? No. 99 00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:18,426 Sing it with me, Larry! Come on! 100 00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:20,442 Larry, there's nowhere to park. 101 00:04:20,487 --> 00:04:21,566 Swish-swish-swish, 102 00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:24,038 swish-swish-swish, swish-swish-swish. 103 00:04:24,315 --> 00:04:25,809 ♪ The wipers on the bus go swish-swish-swish ♪ 104 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,560 Larry, can I turn the song off? 105 00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:29,124 ♪ All through the town ♪ 106 00:04:29,149 --> 00:04:31,104 - Hey, no! - I love this song. 107 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,822 - Don't you, Larry? - Yeah! 108 00:04:33,151 --> 00:04:35,218 - Ugh. Not me. - ♪ Open and shut ♪ 109 00:04:36,538 --> 00:04:37,692 Fuck. 110 00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,583 One more lap, that's it. 111 00:04:40,138 --> 00:04:42,553 ♪ All through the town ♪ 112 00:04:42,805 --> 00:04:43,868 Again! 113 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,302 Hi, Larry, are you ready to go for a ride? 114 00:04:47,514 --> 00:04:48,971 ♪ The mommies on the bus go... ♪ 115 00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:50,747 No parking. No parking. 116 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,958 - ♪ Shh, shh, shh ♪ - What is this? 117 00:04:53,349 --> 00:04:54,503 Tow zone. 118 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:57,601 - This should be fine. - ♪ All through the town ♪ 119 00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,958 Great job, Lar... 120 00:05:44,491 --> 00:05:45,905 Uh, are we done? 121 00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:48,713 Colleen? 122 00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:50,720 Colleen? 123 00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:20,275 Oh, no. 124 00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:24,512 Oh, God. It's soaking wet. 125 00:06:24,939 --> 00:06:26,470 You see that? Oh. 126 00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:28,054 Ugh! 127 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,172 All right, go play. 128 00:06:32,179 --> 00:06:33,600 Ah, shit. 129 00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:36,455 No, no, no, no, no. Do not eat that. 130 00:06:36,455 --> 00:06:38,149 - Mommy. - You can't eat that. 131 00:06:40,787 --> 00:06:43,371 Oh, my God. He keeps running away from me. 132 00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:44,829 Larry! 133 00:06:44,829 --> 00:06:46,782 What? 134 00:06:46,829 --> 00:06:48,829 _ 135 00:06:49,852 --> 00:06:50,871 Okay. 136 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:51,954 Larry! 137 00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:55,719 Again. 138 00:06:56,871 --> 00:06:58,079 Again. 139 00:06:59,154 --> 00:07:02,505 Again. Our turn. You ready? 140 00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:03,607 Yes, Mom. 141 00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:06,490 Oh, whee! 142 00:07:07,419 --> 00:07:08,668 Fun. 143 00:07:09,587 --> 00:07:11,034 Fun. 144 00:07:11,961 --> 00:07:14,674 Fun. 145 00:07:15,545 --> 00:07:16,920 Hey, Bridge. 146 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,670 Hi, are you at the movies without me? 147 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,045 Yeah, 'cause you bailed on me. 148 00:07:20,045 --> 00:07:22,045 I'm in line getting popcorn alone. 149 00:07:22,045 --> 00:07:23,420 Well, what was I supposed to do? 150 00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,684 Leave my kid with depressed Tutu? 151 00:07:24,731 --> 00:07:26,661 - Don't sound so sad, B. - Ugh. 152 00:07:26,662 --> 00:07:28,386 - I'm just bummed. - Me too. 153 00:07:28,629 --> 00:07:31,494 You know, I'm so bored, I think I'm dying. 154 00:07:31,895 --> 00:07:33,937 Bridge, you're fine. You're not dying. 155 00:07:33,937 --> 00:07:36,150 Fuck it, I'm just gonna come meet you. It's his nap time. 156 00:08:21,963 --> 00:08:23,087 It's a cold one, huh? 157 00:08:26,338 --> 00:08:29,231 They burned witches at the stake not far from here. 158 00:08:30,739 --> 00:08:32,632 Imagine being burned alive. 159 00:08:37,797 --> 00:08:39,327 That water looks nice. 160 00:09:46,445 --> 00:09:48,820 Once we get inside, you gotta fall asleep, okay? 161 00:09:48,857 --> 00:09:50,732 Okay, oh, Jesus. Sorry! 162 00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:52,024 Oh, God, are you okay? 163 00:09:52,274 --> 00:09:53,635 I'm so sorry. 164 00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:56,482 I'm sorry. I was just late for the movie! 165 00:09:58,357 --> 00:10:00,773 What the hell is that? Did you hear that? 166 00:10:00,773 --> 00:10:02,116 Do you think I'm a terrible mother 167 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,947 for finding my kid kind of boring? 168 00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:06,357 Honestly. Like, not my kid specifically, 169 00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,024 but just motherhood in general. 170 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,857 Tsk. Hell no. Of course not. 171 00:10:09,857 --> 00:10:11,648 And I'm not a bad friend 172 00:10:11,648 --> 00:10:13,732 for thinkin' that you talkin' about motherhood is boring. 173 00:10:13,732 --> 00:10:15,151 - Is that you? - Well... 174 00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:18,898 ...would we be friends if we never met in food group? 175 00:10:18,898 --> 00:10:21,000 - No. - Probably not. 176 00:10:21,566 --> 00:10:22,940 There's so much blood! 177 00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:25,683 Well, she's dead. 178 00:10:26,107 --> 00:10:27,648 Funny, fat friend already died. 179 00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:29,274 Slut's always next to go. 180 00:10:29,274 --> 00:10:30,690 Okay, first of all, 181 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:32,524 she's not the slut... She's wearing khakis. 182 00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:33,907 Sluts don't wear khakis. 183 00:10:34,441 --> 00:10:36,607 The one with the Big Gulp, that's the slut. 184 00:10:36,607 --> 00:10:38,190 You know only sluts drink soda. 185 00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,441 Shh! Shh! 186 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,831 This movie can't be good for kids. 187 00:10:42,318 --> 00:10:44,065 Yeah, well, it's worse for women. 188 00:10:44,065 --> 00:10:45,566 They're the only ones getting killed. 189 00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:48,531 There's a reason it's rated R. 190 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,891 He has been asleep this whole time. 191 00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:56,058 And you know what? What the fuck business 192 00:10:56,058 --> 00:10:57,156 is it of yours? 193 00:10:57,237 --> 00:10:58,903 - I just think... - Reclaiming my time. 194 00:10:58,904 --> 00:11:00,238 - What are you... - Reclaiming my time. 195 00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:01,738 - I just think... you know, I... - Boop. 196 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,017 Is he yours? 197 00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,157 You're doing God's work, staying with him. 198 00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:08,988 Yep, bye. 199 00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:10,572 See you. 200 00:11:10,572 --> 00:11:11,779 - You just wake up? - Mm-hmm. 201 00:11:11,825 --> 00:11:13,023 I don't wanna wake up. 202 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,696 Why are you grabbing your penis? 203 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,946 Okay, well, you gotta use the big boy potty, okay? 204 00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:21,202 - Why? No. - Yeah, you have to. 205 00:11:21,466 --> 00:11:23,122 I really wanted to see this girl die. 206 00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:26,050 Hurry back. She's putting up a good fight. 207 00:11:27,867 --> 00:11:29,421 Is there a problem? 208 00:11:29,613 --> 00:11:31,654 I gave the teller my ID 209 00:11:31,654 --> 00:11:35,323 and I just wanna close out my savings account, that's all. 210 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,582 It's okay, miss, no. 211 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,597 - There's no problem. - Oh, good. 212 00:11:39,747 --> 00:11:42,283 It's just that I want to make sure everything's okay. 213 00:11:42,904 --> 00:11:44,324 Your clothes are wet, 214 00:11:44,946 --> 00:11:47,255 and you seem a little distressed. 215 00:11:48,613 --> 00:11:50,773 So... that's all. 216 00:11:52,654 --> 00:11:55,062 My boyfriend, Edmond, has a boat. 217 00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,057 He has a boat and he's so silly. 218 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:02,560 He said, "Colleen, let's jump in." 219 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,631 And it's so hot that we did. 220 00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:10,268 Okay, then. Um... 221 00:12:10,268 --> 00:12:13,060 - Okay? - You want the $3,700 222 00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:15,913 - in big or small bills? - All big! 223 00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:19,328 'Cause Edmond says we're gonna celebrate tonight. 224 00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:24,876 - Hey. - Girl, I was all wrong. 225 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:27,086 Asian guy... ice skate straight to the face. 226 00:12:27,704 --> 00:12:30,037 Okay, well, I gotta go. He peed through his diaper 227 00:12:30,037 --> 00:12:31,287 and I don't have any extra. 228 00:12:31,287 --> 00:12:33,371 Well, this movie sucks anyway. I can just leave with you. 229 00:12:33,371 --> 00:12:34,829 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 230 00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:36,329 Okay, come on, we'll go to your place. 231 00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:37,357 Okay. 232 00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:38,538 Okay. 233 00:12:38,983 --> 00:12:40,626 Oh, wait, grab the candy. 234 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,746 We can just watch it at your house. 235 00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:45,864 Yeah. Stream it illegally. 236 00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:48,579 My car was right here. 237 00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:50,993 What do you mean, your car was right here? 238 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,168 It's gone. 239 00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:54,142 They must have towed my car! 240 00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:56,527 Bridge! Damn it! 241 00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,584 I told you to stop parking illegally. 242 00:12:58,584 --> 00:13:00,376 Yeah, but it works 80% of the time. 243 00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:01,423 It worked this morning! 244 00:13:01,423 --> 00:13:03,434 It says, "No parking anytime," 245 00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:05,464 so that means no parking anytime. 246 00:13:05,464 --> 00:13:07,588 I've only been towed, like, six times. 247 00:13:07,588 --> 00:13:08,880 That's nothing compared to 248 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,997 how many times I've parked illegally. 249 00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:15,247 All right, well, we're gonna go to the tow yard, then. 250 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:17,630 I'll see you later. 251 00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:21,620 Okay, drama queen, you know I'm coming with you. 252 00:13:22,464 --> 00:13:24,588 Open, shut them, open, shut them. 253 00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:25,713 And then you go back. 254 00:13:39,322 --> 00:13:40,708 Know what, Bridge? 255 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,172 This was very MacGyver of you. 256 00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:44,713 I'm kind of proud. 257 00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:47,266 My t-shirt diap? Thank you. 258 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,735 Yep, gave him the shirt off my back. 259 00:13:56,673 --> 00:13:58,359 Seems kind of out of it, huh? 260 00:13:59,466 --> 00:14:01,005 Seems okay. What's wrong? 261 00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:02,380 Do you think the movie scared him? 262 00:14:02,648 --> 00:14:04,068 No, he was sleeping. 263 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,505 - Did you see any of the movie? - Yeah. 264 00:14:06,505 --> 00:14:07,816 Shit. 265 00:14:08,877 --> 00:14:10,939 Maybe he saw the woman get her head cut off. 266 00:14:11,086 --> 00:14:12,628 He didn't see anything. 267 00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:13,836 He was asleep the whole time, Bridge. 268 00:14:13,861 --> 00:14:15,120 He woke up right when they cut her legs off. 269 00:14:15,496 --> 00:14:16,919 He did not see anything. 270 00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:18,749 - Are you depressed? - Yeah. 271 00:14:19,097 --> 00:14:19,997 Okay. 272 00:14:21,002 --> 00:14:22,507 - Are you sad? - Yes. 273 00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:25,503 - Do you have anxiety? - Yeah. 274 00:14:25,503 --> 00:14:27,799 Oh, God. Do you have an eating disorder? 275 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:29,279 Yeah. 276 00:14:30,711 --> 00:14:32,500 I can feel it in his body. 277 00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:34,450 Have you heard of epigenetics? 278 00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,575 It's trauma passed down from generation to generation 279 00:14:36,637 --> 00:14:39,674 and boy, it runs deep in my family. 280 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,159 Yours too. 281 00:14:41,908 --> 00:14:43,783 What do you mean, mine too? 282 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:46,123 - I mean, I'm just... - This baby is not depressed. 283 00:14:46,242 --> 00:14:48,284 There is nothing wrong with him. He is perfectly beautiful. 284 00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:49,434 If he's not depressed, 285 00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:51,022 what is the matter with you? 286 00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:52,837 I'm hungry. 287 00:14:53,749 --> 00:14:55,100 Oh, shit. 288 00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:57,576 - What? - Nothing. 289 00:14:58,139 --> 00:15:00,993 What? 290 00:15:01,263 --> 00:15:03,741 I may have forgotten to feed him breakfast and lunch. 291 00:15:03,741 --> 00:15:05,658 I thought he was gonna eat at Tutu's. 292 00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:07,366 All he's eaten today is Reese's Pieces. 293 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,510 We gotta get off the bus. Come on. 294 00:15:08,535 --> 00:15:09,865 - We gotta... - Why can't we do the junkyard 295 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,241 and then grab him food? 296 00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:12,241 Because he's hungry now. He is hungry now. 297 00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:13,934 - Come on, let's go. - Here you go. 298 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,907 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 299 00:15:15,907 --> 00:15:17,434 Cheerios and a diaper? 300 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,167 Thank you so much. See? You were prepared. 301 00:15:20,239 --> 00:15:21,407 You know what you're doing. 302 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,517 Apparently, I don't. 303 00:15:26,436 --> 00:15:28,269 Wow, and it had been 33 years? 304 00:15:28,324 --> 00:15:30,241 - 33 years. - Wow. 305 00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:31,727 Let me give you this blush, okay? 306 00:15:31,776 --> 00:15:33,182 - Please do. - Great. 307 00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:35,332 Could you help me with where my cheekbones are? 308 00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:38,807 Because when I'm doing it at home, I find it hard to know. 309 00:15:38,916 --> 00:15:40,252 - Can I give you a trick? - Yeah. 310 00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:41,932 Look surprised. Watch me. 311 00:15:41,964 --> 00:15:43,239 Not surprised. 312 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,252 Try it. There they are. 313 00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:47,549 - Don't move. - Really? Oh, my... 314 00:15:47,549 --> 00:15:48,841 Don't you move a muscle. 315 00:15:48,841 --> 00:15:50,633 You are like a miracle worker here. 316 00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:52,049 - You know... - Can you see... look in my eyes. 317 00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:53,321 - I'm looking at them. - Do you see? 318 00:15:53,403 --> 00:15:54,861 They're the windows to my soul. 319 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:56,117 Go ahead and close them for me. 320 00:15:56,142 --> 00:15:57,141 - Close them? - Yeah. 321 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,050 Okay. 322 00:15:58,050 --> 00:15:59,298 Once, I worked at Dunkey's 323 00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:00,704 when I was, like, 19, 324 00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:03,186 and this boss I had, Latricia, 325 00:16:03,257 --> 00:16:05,602 she thought that there was money missing from the register, 326 00:16:05,627 --> 00:16:06,978 but it was not me. 327 00:16:06,978 --> 00:16:09,228 - Of course, it wasn't. - And know where she is today? 328 00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:11,314 - Where? - I have no idea, but not here. 329 00:16:11,339 --> 00:16:13,103 - She's not here! - She must be miserable. 330 00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:14,187 - She has a sad li... - She sounds like a really 331 00:16:14,187 --> 00:16:16,853 - unhappy person. - People who are mean to me, 332 00:16:17,157 --> 00:16:19,270 - tragedy befalls them often. - Mm-hmm. 333 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,103 - I think it's God. - You know what? 334 00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:22,881 I think God knows I'm one of his messengers here. 335 00:16:22,906 --> 00:16:23,929 Mm-hmm. 336 00:16:23,954 --> 00:16:25,514 You're about to be on your honeymoon? 337 00:16:25,514 --> 00:16:27,212 - Yes. - Girl, you have got to try 338 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:28,973 our luminescent blush. That's this. 339 00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:30,491 This is gonna change your world. 340 00:16:30,516 --> 00:16:32,639 Edmond loves me without makeup. 341 00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:33,768 That's sweet. 342 00:16:33,768 --> 00:16:36,060 But I can't wait to surprise him again! 343 00:16:42,183 --> 00:16:44,769 Does anyone know where the escalator down is? 344 00:16:45,249 --> 00:16:47,372 Where the down escalator is? 345 00:16:52,601 --> 00:16:53,851 It really is gorgeous, but I just... 346 00:16:53,851 --> 00:16:55,767 ...I feel a little bit guilty, you know, 347 00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:58,518 but he told me to spoil myself, 348 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,435 so how 'bout you wrap that up for me? 349 00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,946 - Hi. - Hi. 350 00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,443 Everyone here is so nice. 351 00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:30,435 Well, they pay us to be nice to the customers. 352 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:35,198 Uh, can I get you a cab? Where would you like to go? 353 00:17:58,086 --> 00:17:59,813 Oh, feeling better? 354 00:18:00,143 --> 00:18:01,809 You got your diaper, we got your muffin. 355 00:18:01,809 --> 00:18:03,178 Now you want to go to the tow yard? 356 00:18:03,239 --> 00:18:04,571 See, that's the problem. 357 00:18:04,571 --> 00:18:06,581 You let him make all of the decisions. 358 00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:08,255 I don't let him make all the decisions. 359 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,945 We're in a relationship. 360 00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:12,862 Just because he's short doesn't mean he doesn't have opinions. 361 00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:14,238 - I didn't say... - Right? 362 00:18:14,238 --> 00:18:15,272 ...that he didn't have opinions. 363 00:18:15,272 --> 00:18:16,292 You have opinions. 364 00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:17,792 No, no. I have opinions. 365 00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:19,968 I know you do, Lar. 366 00:18:19,993 --> 00:18:22,071 However, it is your mom's job 367 00:18:22,071 --> 00:18:23,529 to teach you how to do things. 368 00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:25,029 - No. - But you don't even 369 00:18:25,029 --> 00:18:26,819 go potty on your own yet. 370 00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,816 Oh, you think you can train him to go potty? 371 00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:30,877 Absolutely. 372 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,294 You need to let him know 373 00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:34,252 no more diapers, potty time, baby. 374 00:18:34,252 --> 00:18:36,544 Be my guest, there's a bathroom right in there. 375 00:18:36,544 --> 00:18:37,716 - All right. - All right. 376 00:18:37,971 --> 00:18:39,371 Come on, Lar Bear. 377 00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:40,651 Come on, munchkin. 378 00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:41,984 Okay, good luck. 379 00:18:41,984 --> 00:18:43,651 - You ready to do this? - Yeah. 380 00:18:43,651 --> 00:18:45,443 Say: ♪ Let's go poopy ♪ 381 00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:48,401 ♪ Let's go poopy let's go poopy ♪ 382 00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:50,359 Come on. Let's... let's just... 383 00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:56,796 Okay, Lar, let's do this. Let's do this. 384 00:18:57,811 --> 00:18:59,728 Look at me. 385 00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:05,317 Sweetie, look, I need you to go to the bathroom. 386 00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,050 Mommy! 387 00:19:08,042 --> 00:19:09,343 No. 388 00:19:14,922 --> 00:19:16,797 Pee-sit, Larry. I'm telling you. 389 00:19:17,922 --> 00:19:20,146 All right. 390 00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:22,895 No potty. 391 00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,943 And I think I was in diapers till I was, like, 5. 392 00:19:26,968 --> 00:19:28,536 Oh... oh, yeah. How did it go? 393 00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:30,326 - Potty trained. - No. 394 00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:31,284 No, he's not. 395 00:19:31,526 --> 00:19:33,589 So, I found us a ride to the tow yard. 396 00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,447 Who's he? What's happening? 397 00:19:35,493 --> 00:19:36,992 - Hi. - He's gonna drive us. 398 00:19:36,992 --> 00:19:39,201 Hello. Um, Bridge? 399 00:19:39,226 --> 00:19:40,269 What? 400 00:19:40,294 --> 00:19:42,441 Uh, you sure you just don't want to take the bus, or...? 401 00:19:42,568 --> 00:19:44,519 Come on. It'll be so much faster. 402 00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:46,271 Bridge, how long have you known this man? 403 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:48,127 About two minutes. 404 00:19:49,859 --> 00:19:50,818 Please. 405 00:19:50,818 --> 00:19:52,151 It's a free ride. 406 00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:53,652 I don't want to ride with him. 407 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,857 You're being kind of rude. 408 00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:58,026 I'm black. I don't fucking hitchhike. 409 00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:14,512 Is that Melania? 410 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:16,502 Yes. 411 00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:31,886 However many Triple Play scratchies that gets me. 412 00:20:32,109 --> 00:20:33,407 I feel lucky. 413 00:20:40,443 --> 00:20:41,506 Thank you. 414 00:20:41,693 --> 00:20:43,036 That's for you. 415 00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,811 I dropped a quarter there. I'm not getting it. 416 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,476 Hm. 417 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:27,006 I think maybe the kitchen's bad luck. 418 00:21:27,735 --> 00:21:29,947 I'ma do some more scratchies upstairs. 419 00:21:35,883 --> 00:21:37,777 You know, you can just drop us off right here. 420 00:21:37,777 --> 00:21:39,068 - You sure? - Yep. 421 00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:40,433 Stop, stop, stop. Yep. 422 00:21:40,463 --> 00:21:41,755 You know, your kid 423 00:21:41,755 --> 00:21:43,259 should really be in a car seat. 424 00:21:43,713 --> 00:21:45,034 Yeah, I know, buddy. 425 00:21:45,322 --> 00:21:46,861 Can you just unlock these doors? 426 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,831 Thank you so much. 427 00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:50,252 Okay. 428 00:21:50,307 --> 00:21:51,974 Yeah, come with me. 429 00:21:51,974 --> 00:21:53,461 All right, thanks. 430 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:54,924 Bye. 431 00:21:55,349 --> 00:21:56,947 Come with me. Come on. 432 00:21:57,558 --> 00:21:58,917 Okay. 433 00:22:01,109 --> 00:22:02,841 Say bye to the creepy guy. 434 00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:05,341 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 435 00:22:07,475 --> 00:22:09,787 Oh, no, they're closed. 436 00:22:10,476 --> 00:22:12,100 - Oh, God. - Bridge. 437 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,559 I didn't know! 438 00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:15,267 Didn't you look the tow place up on your phone? 439 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,392 What kind of place closes at 4:00 p.m.? 440 00:22:16,392 --> 00:22:18,601 The kind of place that you have to pay 441 00:22:18,601 --> 00:22:19,975 if they hold your car for an extra day. 442 00:22:19,975 --> 00:22:21,223 Maybe we can call someone. 443 00:22:21,223 --> 00:22:22,557 - I don't know. - You didn't see the hours? 444 00:22:22,582 --> 00:22:23,599 Bridge. 445 00:22:23,599 --> 00:22:25,140 I didn't not see the hours. 446 00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:26,848 I just didn't see the hours. 447 00:22:26,848 --> 00:22:28,349 The hours are right here, Bridge. 448 00:22:28,349 --> 00:22:29,973 - I can't... - How did you miss that? 449 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,157 Can you just stop yelling at me? 450 00:22:31,182 --> 00:22:32,557 I'll stop yelling at you 451 00:22:32,557 --> 00:22:34,140 when you stop getting your fucking car towed... 452 00:22:34,140 --> 00:22:35,307 What the fuck am I supposed to do? 453 00:22:35,307 --> 00:22:36,392 ...every other week. 454 00:22:36,428 --> 00:22:38,096 - I didn't do this on purpose. - Jesus. 455 00:22:38,121 --> 00:22:40,344 I can't... I can't wait till Monday to get my car. 456 00:22:40,534 --> 00:22:41,867 - Ugh. - There must be... 457 00:22:41,892 --> 00:22:42,995 - God. - Larry? 458 00:22:43,031 --> 00:22:44,463 - Lar, shit. - Wait, Larry! 459 00:22:44,534 --> 00:22:46,075 Maybe there's another way in. 460 00:22:46,594 --> 00:22:48,402 Larry. Larry! 461 00:22:48,612 --> 00:22:50,153 Ow, there's barbed wire. 462 00:22:50,432 --> 00:22:51,557 Ow. 463 00:22:52,242 --> 00:22:53,890 Oh, shit. Larry. 464 00:22:54,492 --> 00:22:56,116 Fuck, I'm stuck! Ow. 465 00:22:56,116 --> 00:22:57,434 Larry Bird! 466 00:22:57,632 --> 00:22:59,991 You stop there! Right now! 467 00:23:00,866 --> 00:23:03,075 Ow. Ow! 468 00:23:03,075 --> 00:23:05,475 Larry, you're in big trouble! 469 00:23:05,991 --> 00:23:08,204 Ow, ow, ow, ow. 470 00:23:08,408 --> 00:23:09,501 Larry! 471 00:23:16,475 --> 00:23:17,644 Larry! 472 00:23:22,047 --> 00:23:23,588 Let me look at you. Okay. 473 00:23:23,588 --> 00:23:25,610 Larry. Hi, hi. 474 00:23:25,610 --> 00:23:27,027 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 475 00:23:27,027 --> 00:23:28,610 - Yeah. - You promise? 476 00:23:28,610 --> 00:23:30,444 - Yeah. - Don't run away from me, okay? 477 00:23:30,444 --> 00:23:31,486 Okay. 478 00:23:31,486 --> 00:23:32,610 I am such a fuck-up. 479 00:23:32,610 --> 00:23:33,569 What do you mean? 480 00:23:33,569 --> 00:23:35,897 I mean, my kid keeps running away from me. 481 00:23:36,229 --> 00:23:37,381 It's cool. 482 00:23:37,735 --> 00:23:39,528 How many moms can say, "Oh, yeah, I lost my kid 483 00:23:39,528 --> 00:23:40,696 in a junkyard"? 484 00:23:40,721 --> 00:23:42,059 More you think, honey. 485 00:23:42,194 --> 00:23:43,291 You're a great mom. 486 00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:44,664 Uh, no, I'm not. 487 00:23:44,986 --> 00:23:47,700 I made us take a ride with that Melania lover. 488 00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:52,229 I mean, I couldn't even handle five minutes in the park 489 00:23:52,470 --> 00:23:54,988 with my own kid without wanting to fucking blow my brains out. 490 00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:57,432 Bridge, all moms want to kill themselves. 491 00:23:58,039 --> 00:23:59,361 It's motherhood. 492 00:23:59,393 --> 00:24:00,807 - I'm a terrible mom. - You're a great... 493 00:24:00,832 --> 00:24:02,069 Look! 494 00:24:02,069 --> 00:24:03,902 - Look at him. - Larry! 495 00:24:05,891 --> 00:24:07,282 He's going to the potty! 496 00:24:07,361 --> 00:24:08,698 - Larry! - Ah! 497 00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:09,865 You did it! 498 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,157 - Yeah, boy. - High-five. 499 00:24:11,157 --> 00:24:12,270 High-five. 500 00:24:13,508 --> 00:24:15,091 I think... I think he's still going. 501 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,394 - I'm gonna just... - Okay. 502 00:24:16,419 --> 00:24:17,889 ...you know, I'ma give him his privacy. 503 00:24:23,246 --> 00:24:25,311 Col... Colleen. 504 00:24:25,988 --> 00:24:27,066 Joe? 505 00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:28,825 How did you get up here? 506 00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:30,803 I scratched off some of the tickets 507 00:24:30,874 --> 00:24:32,231 you left on the table. 508 00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:33,788 You won. 509 00:24:34,108 --> 00:24:36,985 You won a Massachusetts riverboat cruise. 510 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:39,320 - I did? - Yes. 511 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,783 - I won? - You won. 512 00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:45,543 Oh, Joe! Oh, Joe! 513 00:24:45,590 --> 00:24:49,379 Oh, and you climbed all the way up here. 514 00:24:49,415 --> 00:24:51,083 - I had... I had... - Sit. Sit. 515 00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:52,832 ...I had to get... I had to tell you. 516 00:24:52,902 --> 00:24:55,699 I had to get up here so I could see that smile. 517 00:24:55,724 --> 00:24:56,780 Oh, Joe. 518 00:24:56,780 --> 00:24:58,365 I just... I wanted to see your face. 519 00:25:02,270 --> 00:25:03,615 It was worth it. 520 00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:06,227 Look at this, Joe. 521 00:25:06,227 --> 00:25:08,421 Riverboat, riverboat, riverboat. 522 00:25:08,446 --> 00:25:10,227 We won! 523 00:25:10,227 --> 00:25:11,810 - Yes, we did. - Come here, kiss me. 524 00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:14,161 Muah, I love you. Muah, I love you. 525 00:25:14,269 --> 00:25:15,852 ♪ Larry went poopy ♪ 526 00:25:15,852 --> 00:25:17,310 ♪ Larry went poopy ♪ 527 00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:19,561 ♪ Larry went poopy ♪ 528 00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:21,030 I should have gone poopy. 529 00:25:21,055 --> 00:25:23,523 Ugh. Where's your car? 530 00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:26,149 ♪ Where is my car? ♪ 531 00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:27,357 There it is. 532 00:25:29,649 --> 00:25:31,170 Let's get out of here. 533 00:25:31,315 --> 00:25:32,351 Yes. 534 00:25:32,607 --> 00:25:34,683 - Oh, shit. - What the hell? 535 00:25:35,399 --> 00:25:37,180 Now how we supposed to get out? 536 00:25:37,503 --> 00:25:39,081 Well, when Thelma and Louise got chopped, 537 00:25:39,113 --> 00:25:41,298 they just drove through that gate really, really fast. 538 00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:43,208 That is a movie, and they had a more solid car. 539 00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:45,382 - No offense. - Hmm, none taken. 540 00:25:45,382 --> 00:25:46,881 Oh, Bridge, we gotta find an office 541 00:25:46,881 --> 00:25:47,934 - or a number or something. - Hola. 542 00:25:47,959 --> 00:25:50,099 Whoo. Uh, can you let us out? 543 00:25:50,162 --> 00:25:51,764 - Que? - Um, yeah. 544 00:25:51,789 --> 00:25:52,956 Can you let us out? 545 00:25:52,980 --> 00:25:54,285 _ 546 00:25:54,309 --> 00:25:55,763 _ 547 00:25:55,849 --> 00:25:57,544 - Si. - _ 548 00:25:57,569 --> 00:25:58,647 Gracias. _ 549 00:25:58,647 --> 00:26:00,189 Oh, yeah. 550 00:26:00,189 --> 00:26:01,481 - _ - Oh, gracias. 551 00:26:01,481 --> 00:26:03,489 Oh, um, ah... 552 00:26:03,779 --> 00:26:06,869 _ 553 00:26:07,398 --> 00:26:08,481 Right? 554 00:26:08,481 --> 00:26:09,689 - Si. - Yeah. 555 00:26:09,908 --> 00:26:11,908 _ 556 00:26:12,178 --> 00:26:13,460 She thinks we're a couple. 557 00:26:13,460 --> 00:26:14,735 You could do worse. 558 00:26:14,876 --> 00:26:16,680 _ 559 00:26:16,711 --> 00:26:20,367 _ 560 00:26:20,391 --> 00:26:22,001 _ 561 00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:26,429 What did she say? 562 00:26:27,029 --> 00:26:28,645 She's rescuing us. 563 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:30,077 Thank God. 564 00:26:30,077 --> 00:26:31,647 - That was fun. - Mm-hmm. 565 00:26:31,647 --> 00:26:32,895 - That was really fun. - Really fun. 566 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,670 I mean, we could have had more fun 567 00:26:35,670 --> 00:26:37,795 doing other things, but it was fun. 568 00:26:37,795 --> 00:26:39,202 It was fun. I had a good time. 569 00:26:39,203 --> 00:26:40,906 Couldn't have done it without you, Thelma. 570 00:26:40,906 --> 00:26:42,489 Couldn't have done it without you, Weezy. 571 00:26:42,815 --> 00:26:44,345 Is she just opening the gate? 572 00:26:44,401 --> 00:26:45,999 We could have just did that ourselves. 573 00:26:45,999 --> 00:26:46,957 I think the gate was open. 574 00:26:46,958 --> 00:26:47,958 We panicked for nothing. 575 00:26:47,958 --> 00:26:49,167 - Okay. - Okay, let's go. 576 00:26:49,167 --> 00:26:51,125 Well, let's go drive off a cliff. 577 00:26:51,125 --> 00:26:52,334 Come on, Weezy. 578 00:26:54,334 --> 00:26:55,331 Oh, it's in park. 579 00:26:55,331 --> 00:26:56,654 Take the damn car. 580 00:26:57,158 --> 00:26:58,242 Let's go find a cliff. 581 00:26:58,242 --> 00:26:59,497 Yes. 582 00:27:01,422 --> 00:27:02,552 Thanks, girl. 38799

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