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WEBVTT
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♪ upbeat holiday music ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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[ "Candy Cane Lane" by Sia playing ]
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♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪
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♪ It's the cutest thing
I swear you'll ever see ♪
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♪ It's the best, so get dressed ♪
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♪ I'll impress you with
the colors of the rainbow ♪
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♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪
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♪ It's so magical,
let's go there in your dreams ♪
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♪ It's the best... ♪
02:33.400 --> 02:35.490
TRUDY: ...so surprised
when he saw all those presents
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under the Christmas tree,
and she was one of them.
02:38.280 --> 02:42.160
Now, this house was originally owned
by Herbert Flackshaw,
02:42.160 --> 02:44.500
who started this tradition
on Candy Cane Lane.
02:44.500 --> 02:48.920
He even hired his nephew Otis
to play Santa Claus for many years,
02:48.920 --> 02:51.710
until he was arrested
for child endangerment in 1992.
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Ooh, you guys got to look at this house.
02:54.210 --> 02:55.630
This house is the site...
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HARPER:
Are you having fun?
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‐ Are you having fun?
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‐ [ laughing ] Yes, I think this is cute.
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‐ It is. Yeah.
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‐ Oh, God, you hate it.
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‐ [ laughing ] No, I don't hate it.
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Baby, I'm just not
a huge Christmas person.
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‐ I know, I know, but... [ groans ]
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how can you not like the lights
and the decorations
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and the Christmas trees?
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‐ Fun fact: did you know
that Christmas trees are responsible
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for an annual average of four deaths,
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15 injuries
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and a loss of $12 million?
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‐ [ laughing ] Okay, I get it.
03:30.380 --> 03:32.210
I think you made your point.
‐ [ chuckles ]
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Thank you for trying to get me
to like Christmas.
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I love that you love it.
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I'm just so content taking care
of other people's pets
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when they're away for the holiday‐‐
‐ [ gasps ]
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Come with me.
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‐ Wait, where are we going?
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Do you know these people?
03:47.980 --> 03:49.980
What are you doing?
‐ No. Come here.
03:54.230 --> 03:57.070
‐ [ grunts ] Still not clear on the plan.
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‐ Will you shut up and follow me, please?
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Come on.
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‐ [ scoffs ]
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‐ [ Harper sighs ]
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Well, does this do anything for you?
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‐ This is beautiful.
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HARPER: I hate that you're gonna
be alone on Christmas.
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I'm gonna miss you.
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‐ Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.
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‐ We could just stay up here.
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‐ I'd do that.
‐ [ chuckles ]
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WOMAN:
Hey! I hear you up there.
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I'm calling the police.
‐ [ gasps ]
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‐ Um...
‐ [ gasping ]
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‐ [ both grunting ]
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[ sliding ]
‐ [ Abby grunts ]
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‐ Abby?
ABBY: Harper!
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‐ [ screams ] Oh, my God.
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Are you okay?
‐ Um...
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I don't know. Uh, what do I do?
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‐ Stay there. I'm gonna get you down.
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‐ Okay. Yeah.
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‐ Shit.
‐ Uh...
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[ gasps ] Oh.
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WOMAN:
What are you doing out there?
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‐ Harper!
WOMAN: Are you peeping?
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Don't you peep at me.
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‐ Oh, God! [ yells ]
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[ air hissing ]
HARPER: Abby?
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‐ [ groaning ]
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‐ Oh, my God. Are you okay?
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‐ I'm so great.
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‐ Here, here. Yeah, yeah, come on.
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We got to go. Come on.
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She's coming. Go. Run.
‐ Oh. Hey.
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Yeah, you better run.
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Pervert.
‐ [ laughing ]
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‐ Who said you could come downstairs?
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Giddyap.
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‐ [ both laughing ]
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[ whooping ]
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[ laughing continues ]
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‐ [ Harper sighs ]
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Come with me.
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‐ Where?
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‐ To my parents' house for Christmas.
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‐ Oh, really?
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I've got the pets to sit.
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‐ Oh, my God, get someone
to cover for you.
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I want to...
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wake up with you on Christmas morning.
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And if that doesn't
convince you to love Christmas,
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I'll never bring it up again.
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‐ Deal.
06:14.870 --> 06:16.790
Yeah.
‐ Mm.
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[ "Jingle Bells" by Joy Oladokun playing ]
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[ in distance ]
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
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♪ In a one‐horse open sleigh ♪
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♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
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♪ Laughing all the way ♪
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♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
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[ door closes ]
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♪ Making spirits bright ♪
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♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪
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♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
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♪ Oh, jingle bells... ♪
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‐ Hi.
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‐ Hey.
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Sit down.
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‐ What's going on in here?
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‐ I just woke up thinking about
going home with you and got...
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very excited about Christmas.
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‐ Oh... baby, you don't‐‐
You don't have to come with me.
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‐ Well, I want to.
HARPER: No.
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No, no, no, no, I‐‐ [ sighs ]
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I feel like I really put you
on the spot last night,
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and I understand how you feel
about Christmas
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because you lost your parents,
and you just don't have‐‐
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‐ No, no, no, I‐I genuinely want to go.
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‐ Uh‐huh.
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‐ I get to go meet the people
that made my favorite person.
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‐ Okay.
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But who's gonna look after all those pets?
07:36.370 --> 07:38.370
‐ John's gonna cover for me.
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I know why you're worried.
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But don't be.
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I'm all in on Christmas.
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‐ [ inhales deeply ]
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ABBY: Hmm?
‐ Good.
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ABBY:
Yeah.
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So, for the cat,
you can go every other day,
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but the dog and the fish need
to be seen morning and night.
08:00.440 --> 08:01.860
‐ Mm‐hmm. Okay.
‐ Oh, and the apartment on Butler
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has this weird lock, so if you jiggle it,
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it will lock, but you have to
make sure that you do that.
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‐ Yes.
‐ What are you doing on your phone?
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‐ I'm sorry, I left a gentleman
alone in my apartment,
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so I'm tracking him
to make sure he leaves.
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‐ You're tracking him?
‐ Yeah. I track everybody.
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If the NSA can do it, so can I.
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And he's gone.
Sorry, what were you saying?
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‐ I wrote it all down.
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They're really specific directions,
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but if you need anything,
you can obviously call me.
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‐ Abigail, don't worry.
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I'm responsible for the careers
of dozens of authors.
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I am more than capable of taking care
of a few pets for two days.
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‐ It's... it's five days.
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‐ Five days. That's what I said.
08:34.180 --> 08:35.180
WAITER: Refill?
‐ Hi.
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And I sort of think I made
the right decision, but at the same time‐‐
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‐ What is Ultrasuede?
08:39.560 --> 08:42.810
‐ Ultrasuede is, like,
a water‐resistant fabric.
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‐ Hello.
08:44.230 --> 08:45.770
‐ What are we doing here?
08:45.770 --> 08:47.230
‐ Hi. Can I help you?
08:47.230 --> 08:48.900
‐ Yeah, I'm picking up.
My name's Abby Holland.
08:48.900 --> 08:50.740
‐ Oh, yes, of course.
Um, just wait right here.
08:50.740 --> 08:52.910
I'll be right back.
Oh, enjoy some champagne.
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‐ Oh.
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Thank you.
08:55.830 --> 08:57.700
I love champagne.
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‐ Here we are.
09:01.580 --> 09:02.830
May I?
‐ Yeah, of course. Thanks.
09:08.590 --> 09:10.420
There it is.
09:10.420 --> 09:12.050
‐ No.
09:13.760 --> 09:15.680
Abby, you and Harper have
a perfect relationship.
09:15.680 --> 09:17.470
Why do you want to ruin that
09:17.470 --> 09:19.890
by engaging in one of
the most archaic institutions
09:19.890 --> 09:22.100
in the history of the human race?
09:22.100 --> 09:23.850
‐ Because I want to marry her.
09:23.850 --> 09:26.650
‐ Okay, you say that,
but what you're actually doing
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is tricking the woman you claim to love
09:28.900 --> 09:31.440
by trapping her in a box
of heteronormativity
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and trying to make her your property.
09:33.320 --> 09:35.780
She is not a rice cooker or a cake plate.
09:35.780 --> 09:37.160
She's a human being.
09:37.160 --> 09:38.540
‐ No, it's not about owning her.
09:38.540 --> 09:40.080
It's about building a life with her.
09:40.080 --> 09:44.670
She is my person,
and I really want everyone to know that.
09:46.000 --> 09:49.090
‐ I suppose that's one way
of looking at it.
09:49.090 --> 09:51.090
So, when are you gonna ask her?
09:52.670 --> 09:54.590
‐ I was thinking of doing it
on New Year's,
09:54.590 --> 09:56.720
but now that I'm going home with her...
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I understand this is very old‐fashioned,
09:58.760 --> 10:00.850
but I'm probably gonna ask
her dad for his blessing
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and propose on Christmas morning.
10:04.230 --> 10:07.980
‐ I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing?
10:07.980 --> 10:11.360
[ "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas"
by Caveboy playing ]
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Way to stick it to the patriarchy.
10:13.190 --> 10:15.160
Really well done.
10:15.160 --> 10:18.620
♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪
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♪ Lean your ear this way ♪
10:21.580 --> 10:25.040
♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪
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♪ What I'm gonna say... ♪
10:27.960 --> 10:29.340
ABBY:
God, I'm so excited.
10:29.340 --> 10:32.460
I can't believe I'm finally
gonna meet everyone.
10:32.460 --> 10:36.260
I mean, I haven't had
a family Christmas in ten years.
10:36.260 --> 10:38.680
Also, a fact you don't know about me:
10:38.680 --> 10:41.430
I am actually very good with parents.
10:41.430 --> 10:44.140
‐ Okay, there's something
that we should talk about
10:44.140 --> 10:45.730
before we get to my parents' house.
10:45.730 --> 10:46.810
‐ What is it?
10:46.810 --> 10:48.810
‐ Do you remember this summer
10:48.810 --> 10:53.030
when I came out to my parents
and told them we were together
10:53.030 --> 10:55.240
and they took it really well?
10:55.240 --> 10:56.950
‐ Yeah.
10:56.950 --> 11:01.370
‐ Okay, well, that wasn't
entirely accurate.
11:01.370 --> 11:03.790
‐ They didn't take it well?
11:03.790 --> 11:05.830
‐ No. No, no.
11:05.830 --> 11:08.330
Um...
11:08.330 --> 11:10.340
I didn't tell them.
11:12.800 --> 11:15.130
I was going to, and then Dad told us
11:15.130 --> 11:16.930
that he was running for mayor,
11:16.930 --> 11:19.260
and it just didn't feel
like the right time,
11:19.260 --> 11:22.100
and then now he's trying to get
the support of this donor,
11:22.100 --> 11:24.560
and our whole Christmas is
about impressing this person,
11:24.560 --> 11:27.690
which is stressing my mom out
even more than usual, and I just‐‐
11:27.690 --> 11:30.060
I know that if I tell them now,
11:30.060 --> 11:33.400
their reaction is gonna be colored
by all this other stress,
11:33.400 --> 11:35.900
and I‐I'm sorry,
I don't think that's fair.
11:35.900 --> 11:37.650
To you or to us.
11:37.650 --> 11:39.320
‐ Then why did you invite me?
11:39.320 --> 11:43.740
‐ Because we were just having
such a special night, and...
11:43.740 --> 11:47.580
and, fine, I got carried away,
but it's because I love you
11:47.580 --> 11:51.250
and‐and I want to give you
such a great Christmas.
11:51.250 --> 11:53.670
‐ You're off to a really great start.
11:53.670 --> 11:54.840
‐ I'm so sorry.
11:54.840 --> 11:56.880
‐ So, who do they think I am?
11:56.880 --> 11:58.340
‐ My roommate.
11:58.340 --> 12:00.300
‐ They don't think it's weird
that you're bringing
12:00.300 --> 12:02.050
your roommate home for Christmas?
12:02.050 --> 12:04.810
‐ No, because I told them that
you had nowhere else to go
12:04.810 --> 12:08.890
because your parents
are no longer with us.
12:08.890 --> 12:10.230
‐ I'm not going.
12:10.230 --> 12:14.230
‐ Look, this is actually
a really good opportunity
12:14.230 --> 12:19.490
for them to see how amazing
and kind and smart you are.
12:19.490 --> 12:21.490
You said it yourself,
you're great with parents,
12:21.490 --> 12:24.530
so they're gonna meet you,
they're gonna fall in love with you,
12:24.530 --> 12:27.790
and then that'll make it so much easier
when I do tell them.
12:29.660 --> 12:31.670
Look...
12:34.000 --> 12:37.130
I get it, okay?
12:37.130 --> 12:40.220
I am asking a lot of you.
12:40.220 --> 12:42.890
But I promise I will tell them everything
12:42.890 --> 12:44.890
after the holidays.
12:52.520 --> 12:54.150
‐ Okay, we can do this.
12:57.230 --> 12:58.900
It's five days.
12:58.900 --> 13:00.740
How bad can it be?
13:00.740 --> 13:02.740
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental playing ]
13:12.920 --> 13:15.170
ABBY: Should I have some sort
of cover story or something?
13:15.170 --> 13:16.340
HARPER:
Oh, no, no.
13:16.340 --> 13:17.960
Just be you.
‐ Okay.
13:17.960 --> 13:19.710
‐ I mean, but don't, you know,
13:19.710 --> 13:22.300
say that we're together,
obviously, and, um...
13:22.300 --> 13:26.680
you know, maybe don't mention
that you're, um...
13:26.680 --> 13:28.220
‐ Gay?
‐ Yeah.
13:28.220 --> 13:31.140
Yeah, I think, actually,
it might be better just to avoid it.
13:31.140 --> 13:32.440
But don't lie.
13:32.440 --> 13:34.400
You're a very bad liar.
13:34.400 --> 13:35.650
‐ No, I'm not.
13:37.270 --> 13:39.610
‐ Hi!
‐ Hi.
13:39.610 --> 13:41.110
‐ Wait.
13:41.110 --> 13:42.490
‐ Mom, what are you doing?
[ camera clicking ]
13:42.490 --> 13:45.240
‐ I started an Instagram feed
13:45.240 --> 13:49.040
for your father to give voters
a peek behind the curtain.
13:49.040 --> 13:50.830
Your mother's going viral!
13:50.830 --> 13:52.460
‐ [ all chuckle ]
13:52.460 --> 13:53.580
TIPPER:
Hi!
13:53.580 --> 13:55.170
BOTH:
Aw.
13:55.170 --> 13:57.130
‐ Look at you.
13:57.130 --> 14:01.510
You get more and more beautiful
every single time I see you.
14:01.510 --> 14:03.930
‐ [ laughing ] Mom, stop.
14:03.930 --> 14:05.430
‐ Did you bring concealer?
14:05.430 --> 14:07.140
‐ Yeah. This is Abby.
14:07.140 --> 14:08.560
‐ Hi, Abby.
14:08.560 --> 14:10.180
‐ [ chuckles ]
TIPPER: It is so nice to meet you.
14:10.180 --> 14:11.600
‐ It's so nice to meet you, too.
14:11.600 --> 14:12.850
Thank you for having me here.
14:12.850 --> 14:14.270
‐ It is nothing.
14:14.270 --> 14:18.650
Harper's father and I are always happy
to open our doors to those in need.
14:18.650 --> 14:20.070
‐ Where is Dad?
14:20.070 --> 14:22.440
‐ Uh, he's on a call.
‐ Oh, okay. Well‐‐
14:22.440 --> 14:24.150
‐ Harper!
‐ [ gasping, yelling ]
14:24.150 --> 14:26.410
‐ Oh, Jane.
‐ [ Jane laughing ]
14:26.410 --> 14:28.160
HARPER:
Oh, I have asked you not to do that.
14:28.160 --> 14:29.660
‐ I know. I didn't listen.
14:29.660 --> 14:31.490
JANE: Oh. Yay!
HARPER: Oh.
14:31.490 --> 14:33.250
I didn't think you'd be here,
but here you are.
14:33.250 --> 14:34.830
‐ Oh, I didn't want to wait
one more second
14:34.830 --> 14:36.210
to see my little sis.
‐ Oh, what's this?
14:36.210 --> 14:37.750
‐ Oh, I was changing the air filters.
‐ It's sticky.
14:37.750 --> 14:39.750
‐ Thank you, Jane.
14:39.750 --> 14:41.460
‐ Yeah, hi. You must be Abby.
14:41.460 --> 14:44.220
‐ Yeah. Nice to meet you.
JANE: You, too.
14:44.220 --> 14:45.840
Um...
14:47.260 --> 14:50.050
I'm so sorry about your parents.
14:50.050 --> 14:51.470
HARPER:
Oh, no.
14:51.470 --> 14:53.470
‐ Uh, it‐it ha‐‐
It happened a long time ago.
14:54.850 --> 14:56.440
‐ You're so brave.
14:56.440 --> 14:57.940
ABBY: Oh.
JANE: You don't need to be.
14:57.940 --> 14:59.400
‐ Jane.
‐ Mom, can you just‐‐
14:59.400 --> 15:00.940
TIPPER:
Okay. That's enough, Jane.
15:00.940 --> 15:03.530
Jane, too much. Too much.
JANE: You're always safe with‐‐
15:03.530 --> 15:06.110
‐ So, this is our living room.
15:06.110 --> 15:07.990
‐ Wow, that's a beautiful piano.
15:07.990 --> 15:09.320
‐ Isn't it?
15:09.320 --> 15:11.370
Of course, I wish
my daughters had bothered
15:11.370 --> 15:13.540
to learn to play it,
but it does look nice.
15:13.540 --> 15:15.500
‐ I took lessons for eight years.
15:15.500 --> 15:17.170
TIPPER:
And this is the den.
15:17.170 --> 15:19.000
‐ You're sure Harry will be there
tomorrow night, right?
15:19.000 --> 15:20.040
Perfect.
15:20.040 --> 15:21.710
Oh, uh, Carolyn, I'll call you later.
15:21.710 --> 15:23.340
My daughter just arrived.
15:23.340 --> 15:25.170
There she is, my perfect girl.
15:25.170 --> 15:27.300
‐ Hi, Dad. [ laughs ]
‐ Oh, look at you.
15:27.300 --> 15:29.890
BOTH: Oh!
[ camera clicks ]
15:29.890 --> 15:32.310
‐ Hi, Dad.
‐ Jane, glad you're here.
15:32.310 --> 15:34.600
The Internet has been a little spotty.
15:34.600 --> 15:36.600
‐ Ugh, not again.
15:36.600 --> 15:39.230
‐ Oh, and this is Harper's orphan friend.
15:39.230 --> 15:40.980
HARPER: Oh.
‐ This is Abby.
15:40.980 --> 15:42.730
‐ Yes, of course.
ABBY: Hey, sir.
15:42.730 --> 15:44.360
‐ [ sighs ] Terrible.
15:44.360 --> 15:46.490
There, there.
15:46.490 --> 15:48.280
Harper, I read your piece
about that senator.
15:48.280 --> 15:49.700
He's got to resign, right?
15:49.700 --> 15:51.490
HARPER:
Yeah, I think it's just a matter of time.
15:51.490 --> 15:53.950
‐ That was a good piece.
‐ Aw.
15:53.950 --> 15:54.950
Thanks, Dad.
15:54.950 --> 15:56.580
‐ You know what was really good?
15:56.580 --> 15:58.960
Um, the speech that you made
at the food bank on Thanksgiving.
15:58.960 --> 16:01.380
‐ Oh, thank you. You‐you know,
that speech wasn't scripted.
16:01.380 --> 16:02.960
I ju‐‐ It just came to me.
16:02.960 --> 16:04.590
‐ You could tell. I mean, you were very‐‐
16:04.590 --> 16:06.420
‐ Okay, enough shoptalk. Let's continue.
16:06.420 --> 16:08.510
‐ Okay. Bye.
TED: See you later.
16:08.510 --> 16:11.050
‐ And this is Sloane's room.
16:11.050 --> 16:13.300
She's my eldest.
16:13.300 --> 16:14.720
‐ That's a lot of trophies.
16:14.720 --> 16:16.060
‐ Yes.
16:16.060 --> 16:17.730
She was brilliant.
16:17.730 --> 16:19.440
She and her husband Eric‐‐
16:19.440 --> 16:22.310
he graduated top of his class at Yale‐‐
16:22.310 --> 16:25.020
were very successful attorneys,
16:25.020 --> 16:28.780
but they gave it all up
to raise their beautiful twins,
16:28.780 --> 16:32.570
and now they make gift baskets.
16:35.120 --> 16:36.660
Which is great.
16:36.660 --> 16:38.120
HARPER:
Mm‐hmm.
16:38.120 --> 16:40.710
‐ What'd I miss? [ panting ]
16:44.090 --> 16:45.750
‐ Wow.
16:45.750 --> 16:48.170
‐ [ sighs ] I know, right?
16:48.170 --> 16:50.010
Ugh, is it hot in here,
16:50.010 --> 16:51.760
or is it just him?
HARPER: Okay.
16:51.760 --> 16:53.430
‐ Yummy, yummy, yummy.
HARPER: Okay.
16:53.430 --> 16:55.760
‐ No. Jane. No.
‐ Num, num.
16:55.760 --> 16:57.270
HARPER:
Mom, I thought you were gonna
16:57.270 --> 16:58.980
turn this room into your office.
16:58.980 --> 17:01.230
‐ Men need offices, dear.
17:01.230 --> 17:05.650
Oh, that is Harper's old
high school boyfriend Connor!
17:05.650 --> 17:08.650
[ laughs ]
HARPER: I asked you to put this away.
17:08.650 --> 17:10.530
TIPPER:
You know, he's still single.
17:10.530 --> 17:12.490
HARPER: Okay, Mom, stop, please.
TIPPER: Mm.
17:12.490 --> 17:14.240
Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?
17:14.240 --> 17:15.320
‐ No.
17:15.320 --> 17:16.620
But I have.
17:16.620 --> 17:18.700
'Cause... I have had many.
17:18.700 --> 17:22.500
Um, but‐but not too many;
an‐an appropriate amount.
17:22.500 --> 17:24.540
I actually just went through a breakup.
17:24.540 --> 17:26.920
‐ Oh, no.
TIPPER: Abby.
17:26.920 --> 17:28.590
‐ [ sighs ] Yeah, with, um...
17:28.590 --> 17:31.170
He was a‐‐ He was a milk... man.
17:31.170 --> 17:34.050
‐ Okay, and I think
we'll just settle in now.
17:34.050 --> 17:37.720
‐ Okay. Well, we'll just
show Abby to her room.
17:37.720 --> 17:40.640
‐ What, is she not gonna
stay up here with me?
17:40.640 --> 17:44.900
‐ Harper, I would never ask
two grown women to share the same bed.
17:44.900 --> 17:46.810
[ laughing ]
‐ Harper.
17:46.810 --> 17:50.150
‐ No, A‐Abby will stay in Jane's old room.
17:50.150 --> 17:51.610
‐ Oh, oh, I could show it to her.
‐ Okay.
17:51.610 --> 17:52.820
‐ I could take her down. Yeah, let's go.
17:52.820 --> 17:55.160
‐ Settle down.
JANE: I'm settled!
17:55.160 --> 17:57.740
‐ Okay.
[ door closes ]
17:59.910 --> 18:01.290
‐ Oh.
18:01.290 --> 18:02.790
Your room's in the basement.
18:02.790 --> 18:04.290
‐ Oh, yeah. I had night terrors.
18:04.290 --> 18:07.630
They put me down here so I wouldn't
wake everyone up. [ chuckles ]
18:07.630 --> 18:09.920
Behold. [ chuckles ]
18:12.130 --> 18:13.760
Cool, huh?
18:13.760 --> 18:15.010
‐ It's very cool.
18:15.010 --> 18:17.090
‐ It's my room.
18:17.090 --> 18:18.810
‐ Is everything okay?
18:18.810 --> 18:20.180
‐ Yeah. Yeah. Really good.
18:20.180 --> 18:21.930
‐ No, not you. No.
‐ Oh.
18:21.930 --> 18:23.430
‐ Yeah.
TIPPER: Thank you, Jane.
18:23.430 --> 18:27.020
Why don't you go on home and rest up
a little bit before dinner?
18:27.020 --> 18:28.610
‐ Okay.
‐ [ chuckles ]
18:28.610 --> 18:30.780
‐ Don't have any fun
without me. [ laughs ]
18:30.780 --> 18:33.150
‐ Yeah.
JANE: Bye.
18:33.150 --> 18:35.490
‐ I'm sorry about all this mess.
18:35.490 --> 18:37.320
‐ What? No, this is so nice.
18:37.320 --> 18:39.910
‐ Better than your room at the orphanage?
18:39.910 --> 18:42.250
‐ Oh, I‐I wasn't in an orphanage,
18:42.250 --> 18:44.960
'cause I‐I was 19 when my parents died.
18:44.960 --> 18:47.210
‐ Oh. One of the lucky ones.
18:47.210 --> 18:48.380
‐ Well...
18:48.380 --> 18:50.290
TIPPER:
I'll let you settle in.
18:50.290 --> 18:52.460
We leave for dinner at 6:45.
18:52.460 --> 18:53.670
‐ Okay.
18:53.670 --> 18:55.760
‐ Oh, there's no lock on this door.
18:55.760 --> 18:58.010
We had it removed
because Jane was always scared
18:58.010 --> 19:00.510
that we would lock her in.
19:00.510 --> 19:02.680
But don't worry,
you'll have total privacy.
19:02.680 --> 19:04.480
‐ Okay. [ chuckles ] Thank you.
19:04.480 --> 19:05.980
‐ Okay.
19:07.020 --> 19:08.730
[ "Nothing Rhymes with Christmas"
by Ana Gasteyer playing ]
19:08.730 --> 19:12.320
♪ Nothing rhymes with Christmas ♪
19:12.320 --> 19:14.320
♪ Every poet knows... ♪
19:14.320 --> 19:15.740
JANE: Milady.
ABBY: Thank you.
19:16.780 --> 19:18.160
COLLEEN:
Is this all right?
19:18.160 --> 19:19.740
‐ This is perfect, Colleen. Thank you.
19:19.740 --> 19:22.290
‐ Oh, actually, I think we're
gonna need one more chair.
19:22.290 --> 19:23.580
COLLEEN:
I'll have one brought over.
19:23.580 --> 19:25.290
‐ Oh, who else is joining us?
19:25.290 --> 19:27.040
‐ Hey, guys. How's it going?
19:27.040 --> 19:29.880
‐ [ chuckling ] Connor!
How funny to see you here.
19:29.880 --> 19:31.130
‐ You told me to be here at 7:00, right?
19:31.130 --> 19:32.750
TIPPER: Shh. Oh, wow.
JANE: Hey.
CONNOR: How you doing?
19:32.750 --> 19:34.340
TED:
Great to see you, Connor.
19:34.340 --> 19:35.380
‐ Hey, Ted. How you doing?
‐ Great.
19:35.380 --> 19:37.130
‐ Hi, Connor.
CONNOR: Hi, Jane.
19:37.130 --> 19:38.430
Hi. It's been a minute.
‐ Hi.
19:38.430 --> 19:39.590
‐ How are you?
‐ Yeah. Hey.
19:39.590 --> 19:41.600
‐ Connor, this is Harper's friend Abby.
19:41.600 --> 19:43.220
CONNOR: Oh, hey. Connor.
‐ Hey.
‐ She's an orphan.
19:43.220 --> 19:45.140
‐ Oh, um, I'm so sorry.
‐ Jane.
19:45.140 --> 19:46.390
CONNOR: I‐‐
‐ What?
‐ What are you doing?
19:46.390 --> 19:47.560
‐ She is.
‐ No, it's‐it's‐‐
19:47.560 --> 19:48.560
‐ It's all we have.
19:48.560 --> 19:49.770
TIPPER:
All right.
19:49.770 --> 19:51.400
Thank you. Let's all take a seat.
19:51.400 --> 19:53.400
‐ [ Harper sighing ]
19:55.990 --> 19:57.990
Do you want to switch?
‐ No.
19:57.990 --> 20:00.160
No, this is perfect.
‐ Okay.
20:00.160 --> 20:02.160
JANE: And then in the third chapter,
the Shadow Dreamers
20:02.160 --> 20:05.160
discover that the gemstone
that they thought was inside the gork
20:05.160 --> 20:08.330
was actually stolen by an evil floam,
which is sort of like a maggel
20:08.330 --> 20:10.120
but with less arms and more powers.
20:10.120 --> 20:11.420
‐ Oh, wow.
20:11.420 --> 20:12.840
That's amazing. It really is.
20:12.840 --> 20:15.000
‐ Jane, I just can't believe
you're still working on that book.
20:15.000 --> 20:16.050
It's been like ten years.
20:16.050 --> 20:17.670
‐ Takes a long time to build a world.
20:17.670 --> 20:21.180
‐ You know what I was
thinking about the other day?
20:21.180 --> 20:23.720
I was thinking about that trip
20:23.720 --> 20:26.270
that we took to our old house
in Jackson Hole
20:26.270 --> 20:28.600
when Harper got chicken pox.
CONNOR: Oh, yeah.
20:28.600 --> 20:29.810
[ laughing ] Oh, God.
20:29.810 --> 20:31.190
‐ Harper told me this story.
20:31.190 --> 20:35.320
‐ Then you must know that
she very quickly gave it to Connor.
20:35.320 --> 20:36.610
‐ Yes, she did.
‐ [ laughter ]
20:36.610 --> 20:38.110
CONNOR: Very quickly.
TED: The two of them
20:38.110 --> 20:40.070
didn't leave the cabin for the whole trip,
20:40.070 --> 20:41.530
if I remember correctly.
CONNOR: No.
‐ Oh, my goodness.
20:41.530 --> 20:43.700
‐ Literally in a cabin running a fever.
20:43.700 --> 20:44.950
TED: Yeah.
‐ Together.
20:44.950 --> 20:46.790
‐ Together. Yep, yep.
TIPPER: Really laughing a lot.
20:46.790 --> 20:48.540
CONNOR:
It was ground zero for chicken pox.
20:48.540 --> 20:50.370
Yeah. God, that was fun.
You know, I really,
20:50.370 --> 20:51.920
really loved going on those trips.
‐ Fun.
20:51.920 --> 20:53.790
‐ Well, we loved having you, son.
TIPPER: That was lovely.
20:53.790 --> 20:55.250
‐ Should we go to the ladies' room?
20:55.250 --> 20:58.010
‐ Oh, I‐I would hate to miss
some of these stories.
20:58.010 --> 21:00.090
‐ No, we'll be quick.
21:03.340 --> 21:05.970
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ I am so sorry.
21:05.970 --> 21:07.930
I had no idea he was gonna be here.
21:07.930 --> 21:09.390
I swear.
21:09.390 --> 21:11.350
‐ It's funny, I remember you
telling me that story.
21:11.350 --> 21:13.190
I think you just forgot
to mention that Connor
21:13.190 --> 21:15.020
was also there.
‐ [ sighs ] I know.
21:15.020 --> 21:18.940
I‐I don't know, he didn't seem like
an important part of the story.
21:18.940 --> 21:22.610
Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom,
and I'm gonna make sure that
21:22.610 --> 21:25.450
nothing like this happens
for the rest of the trip, okay?
21:26.990 --> 21:29.120
‐ You can be totally honest with me.
21:29.120 --> 21:30.540
Like, about anything.
21:30.540 --> 21:32.250
Seriously, I can take it.
21:33.290 --> 21:35.000
‐ Okay.
21:36.590 --> 21:39.090
Then you should know that
it is very difficult
21:39.090 --> 21:42.090
to sit next to you at dinner
and not be able to kiss you.
21:47.140 --> 21:48.850
‐ Yeah.
21:49.890 --> 21:51.730
‐ No more surprises.
21:51.730 --> 21:53.350
I promise.
21:57.770 --> 22:00.150
Riley.
RILEY: Mm.
22:00.150 --> 22:01.940
Harper.
22:02.950 --> 22:04.910
‐ Mm. Uh...
22:04.910 --> 22:06.570
‐ Sorry, um...
22:06.570 --> 22:08.080
Riley, this is Abby.
22:08.080 --> 22:09.950
Abby is my‐‐
‐ Orphan.
22:09.950 --> 22:11.370
Roommate. We‐‐
22:11.370 --> 22:13.330
I am an orphan, but we live together.
22:13.330 --> 22:14.620
As friends, um, like acquaintances.
22:14.620 --> 22:16.380
‐ Oh, please stop.
‐ Yeah.
22:16.380 --> 22:18.090
‐ Nice to meet you.
22:18.090 --> 22:20.170
So, I'm just gonna sneak on by you guys.
22:20.170 --> 22:21.380
‐ Oh, God. Sorry.
22:21.380 --> 22:23.300
Sorry. Just...
22:25.300 --> 22:26.930
‐ Was that the Riley?
22:26.930 --> 22:30.010
‐ Okay, that one really wasn't my fault.
22:30.010 --> 22:31.640
‐ Well, who knows, maybe...
22:31.640 --> 22:34.270
maybe another one of your exes
will bring out dessert.
22:34.270 --> 22:36.650
‐ Okay.
‐ Oh, my God.
22:36.650 --> 22:39.730
‐ Harper, did you see
that the Bennetts are here?
22:39.730 --> 22:40.860
HARPER:
Uh...
22:42.400 --> 22:43.990
Yeah. We just ran into Riley.
22:43.990 --> 22:45.910
‐ Did you hear she's doing
her residency at Johns Hopkins?
22:45.910 --> 22:47.780
‐ I should have her look at my mole.
22:47.780 --> 22:50.530
‐ No, um, I hadn't heard that.
22:50.530 --> 22:52.080
‐ It's very impressive.
22:52.080 --> 22:53.790
Her parents must be proud.
22:53.790 --> 22:55.330
And relieved.
22:55.330 --> 22:57.170
‐ I know. That lifestyle choice.
22:57.170 --> 22:59.540
[ Tipper chuckles ]
TED: Mm. Such a shame.
22:59.540 --> 23:00.630
‐ Abby, what do you do?
23:00.630 --> 23:05.550
‐ Oh, I'm‐I'm working on my PhD
in art history over at Carnegie Mellon.
23:05.550 --> 23:07.220
My parents were professors there,
23:07.220 --> 23:09.680
so I kind of wanted to follow
in their footsteps.
23:09.680 --> 23:11.760
‐ You know, before law school,
23:11.760 --> 23:15.480
I took all the money I had
and went to Paris for a month.
23:15.480 --> 23:17.770
Spent every day in museums.
23:17.770 --> 23:20.560
That experience made me the man I am.
23:20.560 --> 23:22.070
‐ That‐that must have been incredible.
23:22.070 --> 23:23.230
What a dream.
23:23.230 --> 23:25.320
‐ It was.
23:25.320 --> 23:27.860
Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh?
23:27.860 --> 23:29.780
Bet you could teach me a thing or two.
23:29.780 --> 23:31.240
‐ [ chuckles ]
JANE: Should I go over there?
23:31.240 --> 23:32.370
TED:
No, darling, no.
23:32.370 --> 23:33.700
JANE:
I do think it's getting bigger.
23:33.700 --> 23:35.200
TIPPER: No.
TED: Stay at the table, Jane.
23:38.920 --> 23:40.040
[ knocking ]
23:42.090 --> 23:44.630
‐ Oh. You settling in okay?
ABBY: Hey.
23:44.630 --> 23:46.050
Yeah. Yeah.
23:46.050 --> 23:49.640
You're such a wonderful host,
so I'm great.
23:49.640 --> 23:51.260
‐ Thank you, Abby.
23:51.260 --> 23:52.510
Thank you.
23:52.510 --> 23:53.810
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi, sweetie.
23:53.810 --> 23:55.220
Do you need something?
23:55.220 --> 23:57.180
‐ No, just to say good night to Abby.
23:57.180 --> 23:58.890
‐ Oh.
24:00.600 --> 24:02.230
‐ Mom, do you mind?
24:02.230 --> 24:04.020
‐ Oh. [ laughs ]
24:04.020 --> 24:05.780
I get it. Girl talk.
24:05.780 --> 24:07.530
Okay, when you finish, um,
24:07.530 --> 24:09.610
I want to give you
a little early Christmas present.
24:09.610 --> 24:10.820
‐ Ooh, okay.
24:10.820 --> 24:12.410
‐ Night.
TIPPER: Night, Abby.
24:14.950 --> 24:16.700
‐ [ sighs ]
24:18.460 --> 24:20.460
Tonight wasn't the best.
24:20.460 --> 24:22.040
‐ Yeah.
24:22.040 --> 24:23.590
But we got through it.
24:23.590 --> 24:25.210
‐ You know, you're right.
24:25.210 --> 24:27.210
You are really good with parents.
24:27.210 --> 24:28.920
‐ You think they like me?
24:28.920 --> 24:30.630
‐ Definitely.
24:30.630 --> 24:33.680
‐ You think they like me
as much as they love Connor?
24:33.680 --> 24:36.060
‐ Oh, no. No, no.
24:36.060 --> 24:38.430
But they don't even really
like me that much, so...
24:38.430 --> 24:40.100
‐ [ laughing ] Oh.
24:40.100 --> 24:41.560
‐ [ Harper mutters ]
24:45.440 --> 24:47.440
I love you.
‐ I love you.
24:49.650 --> 24:51.660
[ chuckling ] Stop it.
‐ [ laughs ]
24:52.820 --> 24:55.030
JOHN:
The hell did it go?
24:55.030 --> 24:57.870
Cheap freaking puzzle.
24:57.870 --> 24:59.870
[ cell phone vibrating ]
24:59.870 --> 25:02.210
Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
25:02.210 --> 25:03.830
Is everything okay?
ABBY: Yeah.
25:03.830 --> 25:04.880
I'm just checking on the animals.
25:04.880 --> 25:05.880
JOHN:
Oh, they're all good.
25:05.880 --> 25:07.000
I walked the dog.
25:07.000 --> 25:08.260
Fed him, fed the cats.
25:08.260 --> 25:10.260
All are well.
ABBY: What about the fish?
25:11.300 --> 25:12.840
‐ Uh, the fish are‐‐ Yeah.
25:12.840 --> 25:15.220
The‐the‐the fish are‐are‐‐ Yes. Yeah.
25:15.220 --> 25:16.390
But enough about me.
25:16.390 --> 25:17.390
Have you managed
25:17.390 --> 25:21.940
to get a man's permission to take
ownership of an adult human woman yet?
25:21.940 --> 25:23.350
‐ Not exactly.
25:23.350 --> 25:24.770
‐ What's going on? You sound tense.
25:24.770 --> 25:26.270
ABBY:
No, I'm not tense. I'm great.
25:26.270 --> 25:28.280
There's just one tiny thing.
25:28.280 --> 25:29.940
Um...
25:31.740 --> 25:34.110
Harper isn't out, and her parents
don't know we're together.
25:34.110 --> 25:37.280
‐ Okay, you know what,
I always felt like something was off.
25:37.280 --> 25:39.200
You can't go over a year without meeting
25:39.200 --> 25:40.450
your significant other's parents.
25:40.450 --> 25:41.620
Trust me, I have tried.
25:41.620 --> 25:43.040
‐ I know, but it's not that big of a deal,
25:43.040 --> 25:45.380
'cause she does plan on telling them
immediately after the holidays.
25:45.380 --> 25:48.250
‐ So, what, her parents are believing
that their straight daughter
25:48.250 --> 25:51.420
brought home her lesbian friend
for Christmas?
25:51.420 --> 25:52.720
‐ No. [ scoffs ]
25:52.720 --> 25:56.140
No. They also think that I'm...
25:56.140 --> 25:58.260
that I'm straight.
25:58.260 --> 26:00.020
‐ Have they ever met a lesbian?
26:00.020 --> 26:01.310
‐ It's not so bad.
26:01.310 --> 26:03.230
It's kind of fun having a secret.
26:03.230 --> 26:04.850
‐ Yeah, I mean,
there's nothing more erotic
26:04.850 --> 26:06.690
than concealing your authentic selves.
26:06.690 --> 26:09.860
‐ I know it's not ideal. I‐‐
26:09.860 --> 26:12.400
But I‐I know that it's what
she needs right now, so...
26:20.450 --> 26:22.660
[ gasps ]
26:22.660 --> 26:24.120
‐ Who are you?
26:24.120 --> 26:26.210
‐ I'm Abby.
26:26.210 --> 26:27.920
‐ Do you work here?
26:27.920 --> 26:29.550
‐ No, I'm H‐Harper's friend.
26:29.550 --> 26:31.550
SLOANE:
Kids?
26:31.550 --> 26:33.130
Where are you?
26:33.130 --> 26:35.130
Hey.
26:35.130 --> 26:37.220
What are you doing in here? Out.
26:38.800 --> 26:40.720
MATILDA:
But that's our room.
26:40.720 --> 26:42.270
‐ Sorry about them. I'm Sloane.
26:42.270 --> 26:44.100
MATILDA:
Why does she get to sleep in there?
26:44.100 --> 26:46.850
‐ Hi. I'm...
SLOANE: Because she's a grown‐up, sweetie.
26:46.850 --> 26:48.520
‐ ...Abby.
26:48.520 --> 26:50.860
SLOANE: [ in distance ]
Come. We're having breakfast.
27:03.540 --> 27:04.870
‐ [ yawns ]
27:04.870 --> 27:06.460
‐ Are you tired?
27:06.460 --> 27:08.080
Not me. I like the morning.
27:08.080 --> 27:11.340
But then I have something meaningful
to get out of bed for, so...
27:11.340 --> 27:13.590
KIDS:
Thank you, Mommy.
27:13.590 --> 27:15.090
‐ Snowman pancakes.
27:15.090 --> 27:18.300
God, that's a lot of work for something
that's just gonna turn to shit.
27:18.300 --> 27:20.140
Oh, but that's kind of like
your law degree.
27:20.140 --> 27:22.220
‐ It must be freeing
to be so self‐involved
27:22.220 --> 27:24.220
you don't realize that's actually
not appropriate language
27:24.220 --> 27:25.430
to use in front of children.
27:25.430 --> 27:26.810
ERIC:
We got everything out of the van.
27:27.850 --> 27:29.150
‐ Thank you, honey.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
27:29.150 --> 27:31.230
‐ Oh, this is‐‐
‐ Abby. I'm Eric.
27:31.230 --> 27:32.690
‐ Nice to meet you.
ERIC: Mm‐hmm.
27:32.690 --> 27:36.280
A teaspoon of coconut oil‐‐
add some nice moisture to those hands.
27:36.280 --> 27:37.860
‐ Oh.
27:37.860 --> 27:39.200
Yeah, thank you.
27:42.370 --> 27:45.450
So, you and your sister
are pretty intense.
27:45.450 --> 27:47.830
‐ What do you mean?
27:47.830 --> 27:49.000
‐ Freeze!
ERIC: Ooh.
27:49.000 --> 27:52.670
‐ Don't move one more muscle
before I hug you!
27:52.670 --> 27:54.420
‐ Hi, Jane.
JANE: Oh. Oh, hi.
27:54.420 --> 27:55.880
‐ Oh. Yay.
‐ [ Jane laughs ]
27:55.880 --> 27:56.970
‐ [ Sloane clears throat ]
27:56.970 --> 27:58.930
JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi.
ERIC: Hi, Jane.
27:58.930 --> 28:01.800
‐ Hi, you guys. Hi.
28:01.800 --> 28:03.060
Um... [ chuckles ]
28:03.060 --> 28:04.720
Gosh, you're so big.
28:04.720 --> 28:06.680
What are you, college students?
28:06.680 --> 28:09.140
‐ We're in elementary school.
28:09.140 --> 28:11.270
‐ Yeah. No, I‐I know. I'm just‐‐
28:11.270 --> 28:13.360
You're just so tall, you know?
28:13.360 --> 28:14.900
‐ Here they are.
‐ My babies.
28:16.610 --> 28:19.030
Aw...
28:19.030 --> 28:21.070
‐ Hi, Daddy.
‐ Did you get Harper's article I sent you?
28:21.070 --> 28:22.950
SLOANE: I did.
TED: Good, right?
28:22.950 --> 28:24.120
‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.
‐ Uh‐huh.
28:24.120 --> 28:25.870
ERIC: Ted.
‐ Eric.
28:25.870 --> 28:27.330
Good to see you.
SLOANE: Hi, Mom.
28:27.330 --> 28:28.500
TIPPER: [ chuckling ]
Hi.
28:28.500 --> 28:30.290
‐ Morning.
‐ Morning, Abby.
28:30.290 --> 28:32.840
Hey, girls, come here.
TIPPER: I'm good.
ERIC: Hi.
28:32.840 --> 28:34.290
‐ Just‐just‐just come over here.
28:34.290 --> 28:36.000
TIPPER: Just move a bit.
TED: I cannot believe
28:36.000 --> 28:39.260
I've got all my daughters under one roof.
28:39.260 --> 28:41.220
Mm, mm.
‐ This is great content.
28:41.220 --> 28:42.680
‐ Oh.
‐ Hold it. Hold it.
28:42.680 --> 28:43.680
‐ And smile.
TED: Hold on.
28:43.680 --> 28:45.470
JANE: Daddy.
‐ Uh‐huh. Uh‐huh.
‐ Got it.
28:45.470 --> 28:47.140
‐ Okay. I got to shower.
28:47.140 --> 28:49.140
Hey, big night tonight, girls.
‐ That's too much.
28:49.140 --> 28:50.810
‐ We're meeting a major donor
at the party.
28:50.810 --> 28:52.650
Harper, I need you to bring your A game.
28:52.650 --> 28:54.730
‐ Got it.
‐ Dad, do you need me to do anything?
28:54.730 --> 28:56.150
‐ Honey, no.
28:56.150 --> 28:59.070
You just bring that beautiful family
and show them off.
28:59.070 --> 29:00.490
Who knows?
29:00.490 --> 29:02.780
These might be the only
grandchildren we ever have.
29:02.780 --> 29:05.330
TIPPER:
And it is crucial that we take
29:05.330 --> 29:08.500
the family holiday photo
for the Instagram tonight,
29:08.500 --> 29:12.210
so don't wear anything
that will strobe, Jane.
29:12.210 --> 29:14.840
‐ [ Jane chuckles softly ]
29:14.840 --> 29:16.840
[ sighs ]
29:16.840 --> 29:18.460
Okay.
29:18.460 --> 29:21.550
Who's ready to go ice‐skating?
29:21.550 --> 29:23.760
Are you ready? [ chuckles ]
‐ No.
29:23.760 --> 29:25.760
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪
29:30.270 --> 29:32.480
‐ Let me know if you guys
need any more room.
29:32.480 --> 29:35.020
I can make myself real small.
29:36.060 --> 29:39.280
‐ So, Sloane and Eric,
you guys make gift baskets, right?
29:39.280 --> 29:40.610
‐ No.
29:40.610 --> 29:43.200
We create curated gift experiences
29:43.200 --> 29:45.620
inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.
29:45.620 --> 29:47.200
‐ Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous.
29:47.200 --> 29:48.200
She has impeccable taste.
29:48.200 --> 29:50.200
‐ Oh, no, honey, you have the eye.
29:50.200 --> 29:51.580
‐ Aw.
‐ Mm.
29:51.580 --> 29:52.920
‐ That sounds great.
29:52.920 --> 29:54.330
SLOANE:
Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so.
29:54.330 --> 29:56.130
Paltrow. Goop picked us up,
29:56.130 --> 29:58.090
and sales have been
through the roof ever since.
29:59.130 --> 30:00.380
‐ [ Harper sighs ]
30:00.380 --> 30:02.760
‐ [ lively chatter ]
30:06.930 --> 30:08.100
HARPER:
Hey.
30:08.100 --> 30:09.470
‐ Hey.
30:09.470 --> 30:11.430
‐ Are you sure you're okay?
‐ Yeah.
30:11.430 --> 30:13.020
No, this is so fun.
30:13.020 --> 30:14.390
‐ Whoa.
30:14.390 --> 30:16.770
‐ Sloane, do you need a helper?
30:16.770 --> 30:19.400
‐ Please. I've always
skated circles around you.
30:19.400 --> 30:21.740
‐ [ chuckles ] That was in your youth.
30:21.740 --> 30:23.570
I mean, I've lapped you
like 12 times today.
30:23.570 --> 30:26.410
‐ Like I'm even trying.
‐ Like it would even matter.
30:26.410 --> 30:28.660
‐ 20 bucks says I can do
two laps in under a minute.
30:28.660 --> 30:30.240
‐ 50 bucks says I can do three.
30:30.240 --> 30:31.830
‐ Let's do it. Jane, time us.
30:31.830 --> 30:33.250
‐ Oh, I'm actually having fun just‐‐
30:33.250 --> 30:36.040
BOTH: Jane.
‐ Okay, fun. Yeah.
30:36.040 --> 30:37.830
No problem.
30:37.830 --> 30:40.250
♪ tense music ♪
30:41.380 --> 30:42.380
JANE:
Ready?
30:43.420 --> 30:45.380
Set.
30:45.380 --> 30:46.680
Go.
‐ [ both grunt ]
30:49.220 --> 30:50.140
‐ [ chuckles ]
30:51.220 --> 30:52.640
‐ Move!
‐ No!
30:52.640 --> 30:54.480
‐ I love it when they do this.
30:55.640 --> 30:57.020
ERIC: What are they doing?
‐ They're racing.
30:57.020 --> 30:58.310
‐ Ah, yeah.
30:58.310 --> 31:01.110
‐ Jane, time!
‐ Oh, I forgot to press start.
31:01.110 --> 31:03.110
How long do you guys think‐‐
‐ Don't‐don't tell them that.
31:03.110 --> 31:04.740
‐ You need to take a break yet, Sloane?
31:04.740 --> 31:05.860
‐ Huh, maybe you should just
31:05.860 --> 31:07.490
worry about yourself.
‐ Oh, yeah?
31:08.200 --> 31:09.740
[ yelps ]
‐ [ man grunts ]
31:09.740 --> 31:10.990
‐ Oh!
‐ Ooh.
31:10.990 --> 31:12.290
‐ [ chuckles ]
31:12.290 --> 31:14.250
[ yelps, screams ]
‐ [ man grunts ]
31:14.250 --> 31:15.710
‐ Mm.
‐ Ow.
31:15.710 --> 31:17.040
ABBY:
Should we stop them?
31:17.040 --> 31:19.250
ERIC: No, they'll
tire themselves out eventually.
31:19.250 --> 31:20.290
‐ [ laughing ] Yeah. That's right.
31:20.290 --> 31:21.460
‐ That's the way it goes.
HARPER: Whoo!
31:21.460 --> 31:22.880
Get off me!
31:22.880 --> 31:24.300
‐ I love you guys. I love you.
31:24.300 --> 31:25.760
HARPER:
No! You're such a cheater!
31:25.760 --> 31:27.680
‐ Stop it! [ shouts ]
‐ You stop it!
31:27.680 --> 31:29.010
‐ ...a little restless.
‐ They're gonna need to turn around.
31:29.010 --> 31:30.600
‐ Look, some of us were here
when you said to be here.
31:30.600 --> 31:32.510
‐ Jane, is that‐‐
That's what you're wearing, right?
‐ Yeah.
31:32.510 --> 31:34.390
TIPPER:
All right. Harper!
31:34.390 --> 31:36.770
Eric, can you make them be still?
31:36.770 --> 31:38.600
‐ Wow.
31:38.600 --> 31:40.360
‐ It's my early Christmas present.
31:40.360 --> 31:42.520
TIPPER:
Harper, please come here.
31:42.520 --> 31:43.780
‐ Honey, we're very late.
31:43.780 --> 31:45.740
‐ Ted, the family holiday photo
31:45.740 --> 31:48.160
is an essential element
of every candidate's feed,
31:48.160 --> 31:50.990
and if we cannot manage to post one,
31:50.990 --> 31:53.700
we do not deserve to have
that account at all.
31:53.700 --> 31:55.040
TED: All right. Up, up, up, kids.
‐ That is so true.
31:55.040 --> 31:56.250
TIPPER: Jane, get out of the middle.
‐ Come on, Matilda.
31:56.250 --> 31:57.620
‐ Oh.
SLOANE: You have to stand, honey.
31:57.620 --> 31:59.580
TIPPER:
Abby, would you mind taking that?
31:59.580 --> 32:01.250
‐ Yeah, not at all.
‐ Oh, thank you.
32:01.250 --> 32:04.050
‐ Okay, here we go. Here we go.
‐ Around and face this way.
32:04.050 --> 32:05.460
Thank you.
‐ Okay.
32:05.460 --> 32:07.800
‐ Everyone say, "Christmas."
32:07.800 --> 32:09.220
‐ No, don't say that.
32:09.220 --> 32:10.550
Just smile.
32:10.550 --> 32:12.550
[ camera clicking ]
32:12.550 --> 32:14.260
‐ Okay.
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]
32:14.260 --> 32:16.310
Ah, good. I can't wait.
32:16.310 --> 32:19.230
Blurry. Boring.
32:19.230 --> 32:20.940
Nope. Nope. Nope.
32:20.940 --> 32:22.860
Okay, none of these will do.
32:22.860 --> 32:25.730
Uh, we will try again tomorrow.
32:25.730 --> 32:27.820
Thank you.
HARPER: Where's Abby?
32:27.820 --> 32:29.820
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪
32:31.870 --> 32:33.870
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
32:46.210 --> 32:48.590
‐ Ted, Tipper. [ laughs, squeals ]
32:48.590 --> 32:50.680
Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
32:50.680 --> 32:52.890
Oh, mwah. Oh.
‐ Carolyn, you are a vision.
32:52.890 --> 32:54.680
TIPPER: Gorgeous dress.
TED: Mwah.
32:54.680 --> 32:57.270
Uh, you remember my daughters
Harper, Jane and Sloane.
32:57.270 --> 32:58.520
Sloane's husband Eric.
32:58.520 --> 33:00.520
Their children Matilda and Magnus.
33:00.520 --> 33:02.850
And this is Harper's friend Abby.
33:02.850 --> 33:05.150
CAROLYN:
Charmed. This is my assistant Levi.
33:05.150 --> 33:08.780
Though, truth be told, in a few years,
we'll probably all be working for him.
33:08.780 --> 33:10.320
‐ [ laughs ] Oh, you're too kind.
33:10.320 --> 33:11.820
‐ Oh.
‐ Is the white whale here?
33:11.820 --> 33:13.240
‐ Ah, indeed. Let me take you over.
33:13.240 --> 33:15.370
‐ Oh, Harper, come with us.
33:15.370 --> 33:16.790
Uh, Jane, uh, uh, keep Abby company.
33:16.790 --> 33:18.500
‐ You got it.
‐ Dad, should I come, too?
33:18.500 --> 33:20.250
‐ I'll come right back.
‐ Okay.
TED: N‐No, honey.
33:20.250 --> 33:22.330
Just, uh, enjoy yourself.
‐ Great.
33:22.330 --> 33:23.710
CAROLYN:
Now, Harry's tough.
33:23.710 --> 33:24.960
Don't let her throw you.
33:24.960 --> 33:26.800
‐ I'm gonna take the twins
to the kids' club.
33:26.800 --> 33:28.130
Please order me several drinks.
33:28.130 --> 33:29.170
‐ Yeah.
33:29.170 --> 33:30.470
‐ Come on, you guys.
33:30.470 --> 33:32.050
Let's go play.
33:32.050 --> 33:34.180
JANE:
Okay. Well...
33:34.180 --> 33:36.430
looks like it's just us ladies.
33:36.430 --> 33:38.850
Now, I don't know about you,
but I am single
33:38.850 --> 33:41.440
and ready to mingle, so...
33:42.850 --> 33:45.110
CAROLYN:
Harry.
33:45.110 --> 33:47.770
This is‐‐
‐ Ted Caldwell.
33:47.770 --> 33:50.030
‐ Ms. Levin, it is an honor.
‐ [ Harry chuckles ]
33:50.030 --> 33:51.820
‐ I am gonna leave you two
to get acquainted.
33:51.820 --> 33:52.950
‐ Okay. Thank you.
33:52.950 --> 33:54.610
This is my husband Scott.
33:54.610 --> 33:56.660
We met on Bumble. [ chuckles ]
TED: Pleasure.
33:56.660 --> 33:58.290
And, uh, this is my wife Tipper.
33:58.290 --> 34:00.000
My daughter Harper, who writes for the‐‐
34:00.000 --> 34:01.410
‐ Pittsburgh Post‐Gazette.
34:01.410 --> 34:02.790
HARPER: Yes.
‐ Yes, I'm familiar.
34:02.790 --> 34:04.290
‐ You've read her work?
34:04.290 --> 34:06.250
‐ Yes.
34:08.960 --> 34:11.260
♪ lively jazz music ♪
34:11.260 --> 34:13.930
‐ Hey, could I get a vodka neat?
34:13.930 --> 34:15.640
Thanks.
34:19.010 --> 34:20.020
‐ You're new.
34:21.770 --> 34:24.850
‐ Yeah, I'm just visiting.
‐ From where?
34:24.850 --> 34:27.020
‐ I'm really not interested
in meeting anyone tonight, so‐‐
34:27.020 --> 34:28.320
‐ I am.
34:29.520 --> 34:31.360
CAROLYN:
Oh, I'll have to check out Goop.
34:31.360 --> 34:33.360
Was that‐‐ When was that one, again?
34:33.360 --> 34:36.660
‐ [ quiet, indistinct chatter ]
34:48.420 --> 34:50.050
‐ Are you enjoying the party?
34:50.050 --> 34:52.210
‐ Yeah.
34:52.210 --> 34:53.840
SLOANE:
That's great.
34:53.840 --> 34:56.720
If my friend ditched me at a party
where I didn't know anyone,
34:56.720 --> 34:58.510
I probably wouldn't have a good time.
34:58.510 --> 34:59.680
‐ Oh, no, sh‐she didn't ditch me.
34:59.680 --> 35:00.970
No, she's just helping your dad.
35:00.970 --> 35:03.270
‐ Yeah, she's very helpful.
35:04.770 --> 35:07.480
So, how long have you
and Harper been roommates?
35:07.480 --> 35:09.730
‐ I moved in like six months ago.
35:09.730 --> 35:11.320
‐ You moved in to her place?
35:11.320 --> 35:12.440
‐ Mm‐hmm.
35:12.440 --> 35:14.280
‐ Isn't it a one‐bedroom?
35:14.280 --> 35:15.990
‐ Technically, yes.
35:15.990 --> 35:17.450
Yeah, well, it was a one‐bedroom,
35:17.450 --> 35:20.280
and‐and now that we have
converted the pantry
35:20.280 --> 35:22.990
i‐into my bedroom, it's a two‐bedroom.
35:22.990 --> 35:25.210
Um, it's really spacious
in there, and it's‐‐
35:25.210 --> 35:27.080
‐ I don't want to have
this conversation anymore.
35:27.080 --> 35:28.710
‐ No problem.
35:30.090 --> 35:32.130
‐ Being mayor is no small task.
35:32.130 --> 35:35.760
However, it's a task I am not only up for
but eager to take on.
35:35.760 --> 35:37.380
HARRY:
I'm gonna stop you right there.
35:37.380 --> 35:39.300
I have a perfect record.
35:39.300 --> 35:40.720
And do you know why?
35:40.720 --> 35:42.510
Because I do my homework.
35:42.510 --> 35:44.520
Last election, I almost backed Dave Grady.
35:44.520 --> 35:46.770
‐ Dave Grady? Didn't his son‐‐
35:46.770 --> 35:48.650
‐ Get arrested
for exotic animal smuggling?
35:48.650 --> 35:49.770
Yes.
35:49.770 --> 35:54.110
I'm telling you this
because I'm not just looking at you.
35:54.110 --> 35:55.440
This is a family affair.
35:55.440 --> 35:57.530
‐ Well, I can assure you,
35:57.530 --> 36:01.200
this family has nothing to hide.
36:03.990 --> 36:06.370
♪ upbeat jazz music ♪
36:11.920 --> 36:13.590
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey. Hey.
36:13.590 --> 36:15.420
‐ Hi. Can I have a sip of your drink?
36:15.420 --> 36:17.420
‐ Yeah, of course.
‐ Thank you.
36:18.720 --> 36:20.010
Mm.
‐ You okay?
36:20.010 --> 36:21.220
‐ Mm‐hmm.
36:21.220 --> 36:23.220
I just needed a bit of a breather.
36:23.220 --> 36:24.560
Thank you.
36:24.560 --> 36:25.810
KELLY:
Harper?
36:25.810 --> 36:27.100
HARPER: Mm!
‐ [ squealing ]
36:27.100 --> 36:28.560
ASHLEY:
Hi!
36:28.560 --> 36:29.940
‐ [ laughing ] Hi.
36:29.940 --> 36:31.650
You look incredible.
36:31.650 --> 36:33.730
‐ As always.
‐ Oh, my God.
36:33.730 --> 36:35.780
‐ [ exhales sharply ] You, too. God, guys.
36:35.780 --> 36:38.780
Oh, um, this is my roommate Abby.
36:38.780 --> 36:40.740
And this is Kelly and Ashley.
36:40.740 --> 36:42.320
KELLY: Oh, lovely to meet you.
‐ Yes.
36:42.320 --> 36:44.280
Nice to meet you, too.
CONNOR: Hey, you guys.
36:44.280 --> 36:45.870
Wow.
36:45.870 --> 36:48.120
God, sorry, just seeing the three of you
standing next to each other
36:48.120 --> 36:49.660
takes me right back to high school.
36:49.660 --> 36:51.960
Minus the bad cafeteria food.
36:51.960 --> 36:54.630
‐ [ laughing loudly ]
36:55.800 --> 36:57.670
You're so funny.
36:57.670 --> 36:59.510
‐ Uh, Harper, can I talk
to you for a second?
36:59.510 --> 37:01.510
HARPER:
Um, yeah.
37:01.510 --> 37:03.760
I'll just be a sec.
37:03.760 --> 37:06.140
‐ Am I crazy, or did you have
absolutely no idea
37:06.140 --> 37:07.640
I was coming to dinner last night?
37:07.640 --> 37:09.560
‐ It was a surprise.
‐ Yeah.
37:09.560 --> 37:11.190
Yeah, I thought so.
37:11.190 --> 37:13.940
Um, sorry about that.
‐ It's not you.
37:13.940 --> 37:16.320
‐ But, actually,
I'd love to do... that again.
37:16.320 --> 37:19.110
Like, hang out again, if you got time.
37:19.110 --> 37:22.530
‐ That sounds so nice, and, um...
37:22.530 --> 37:26.030
and I just don't know, uh,
'cause it's so busy and‐‐
37:26.030 --> 37:27.080
‐ Yeah. Totally got it.
HARPER: Mm‐hmm.
37:27.080 --> 37:28.120
‐ No pressure.
HARPER: Yeah.
37:28.120 --> 37:30.460
‐ But that being said, if you, you know,
37:30.460 --> 37:32.960
and‐and your roommate want
to get out and hang out,
37:32.960 --> 37:34.380
that'd be great.
‐ Abby. Yeah.
37:34.380 --> 37:36.040
CONNOR:
Abby. Yeah. Absolutely.
37:36.040 --> 37:38.800
‐ Hey, if she doesn't
sleep with him, then I will.
37:38.800 --> 37:41.840
[ giggling ]
37:41.840 --> 37:44.260
I'm just kidding. I would never.
37:44.260 --> 37:46.640
‐ He's definitely still into her.
37:46.640 --> 37:48.260
‐ I know.
37:48.260 --> 37:50.270
[ cell phone vibrating ]
37:51.390 --> 37:53.520
‐ [ sighs ] I should...
37:53.520 --> 37:55.480
take this.
37:55.480 --> 37:56.650
Hello?
37:56.650 --> 37:58.070
JOHN:
Did you know that you're standing
37:58.070 --> 37:59.900
in a country club
that didn't let women have
37:59.900 --> 38:02.240
their own memberships
until the early 2000s?
38:02.240 --> 38:03.910
‐ How do you know that?
38:03.910 --> 38:05.870
‐ Um, I might be tracking you,
38:05.870 --> 38:07.870
but it's for your own safety, clearly.
38:07.870 --> 38:08.870
‐ What‐what do you want?
38:08.870 --> 38:11.620
‐ I want you to break out of that closet.
[ camera clicks ]
38:11.620 --> 38:13.080
‐ I am not in the closet.
38:13.080 --> 38:14.670
I told you, Harper's gonna
tell her parents everything
38:14.670 --> 38:15.670
right after the holidays.
38:15.670 --> 38:17.590
‐ You deserve to be with someone
38:17.590 --> 38:21.090
who shouts their love for you
from the rooftops.
38:21.090 --> 38:22.510
‐ That's very sweet.
[ toilet flushes over phone ]
38:22.510 --> 38:24.220
‐ So stop being a doormat, you fool.
38:24.220 --> 38:26.470
‐ Did you need something,
or did you just call to shame me?
38:26.470 --> 38:27.760
‐ I'm not shaming you.
38:27.760 --> 38:29.060
I just think the choice
you're making is dumb
38:29.060 --> 38:30.640
and you should feel bad
about it and yourself.
38:30.640 --> 38:33.640
Also, I am loving these fish.
38:34.690 --> 38:38.020
If I wanted to buy
the exact same one for myself,
38:38.020 --> 38:40.780
where‐where do you think I would do that?
38:40.780 --> 38:41.990
‐ What?
38:41.990 --> 38:43.820
JOHN:
You know what, I think I should google it.
38:43.820 --> 38:45.110
I'm gonna google it. Thanks.
38:51.950 --> 38:53.620
‐ Hey.
38:53.620 --> 38:55.750
‐ Oh, hey. Hey.
39:00.460 --> 39:02.510
‐ How's it going?
‐ Great.
39:02.510 --> 39:08.010
‐ I was just taking a break from
diagnosing everyone's mystery illnesses.
39:08.010 --> 39:09.760
‐ [ Abby chuckles ]
39:09.760 --> 39:12.310
‐ Hey, I wasn't trying
to eavesdrop or anything.
39:12.310 --> 39:14.430
I was out there before you came out.
39:14.430 --> 39:17.100
You didn't see me, but, um...
39:18.560 --> 39:20.860
I can relate.
39:20.860 --> 39:22.860
‐ Like, to what?
39:27.030 --> 39:28.280
‐ Nothing.
39:28.280 --> 39:29.370
[ clears throat ]
39:29.370 --> 39:31.080
Nothing. [ inhales deeply ]
39:31.080 --> 39:33.200
[ sighs ] Okay. I'm gonna go back inside.
39:34.580 --> 39:39.000
I'm sure my mother's hairdresser
wants to show me her weird finger again.
39:39.000 --> 39:41.000
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ So...
39:42.130 --> 39:43.880
I like your jacket. [ sighs ]
39:44.880 --> 39:47.180
Okay. [ shivers ]
39:49.300 --> 39:52.560
[ applause, cheering ]
‐ Thank you. Thank you so much.
39:52.560 --> 39:55.890
Will you all please join me in welcoming
39:55.890 --> 40:00.520
my dear, dear friend,
Councilman Ted Caldwell.
40:00.520 --> 40:02.320
‐ [ cheering ]
40:04.070 --> 40:06.110
TED:
Thank you so much. Thank you.
40:06.110 --> 40:08.030
Isn't this the best time of year?
40:08.030 --> 40:09.490
I mean, really.
40:09.490 --> 40:11.450
I know we're all having
a great time tonight,
40:11.450 --> 40:13.280
so I will be brief.
40:13.280 --> 40:15.660
I've accomplished a lot in my life,
40:15.660 --> 40:18.080
and serving you on the city council
40:18.080 --> 40:22.840
is right up there
with my most rewarding life experiences.
40:22.840 --> 40:25.130
But I'm ready for more.
40:25.130 --> 40:26.340
‐ [ cheering ]
40:26.340 --> 40:29.300
TED:
These are turbulent times,
40:29.300 --> 40:33.350
and the way I can ensure
depravity doesn't seep in
40:33.350 --> 40:35.930
through the cracks of our community
40:35.930 --> 40:40.020
is by making sure there are no cracks.
40:40.020 --> 40:42.020
‐ [ cheering ]
‐ No cracks!
40:44.270 --> 40:48.740
TED: Look, our foundation is built
on family, tradition and faith,
40:48.740 --> 40:54.200
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.
40:54.200 --> 40:56.290
I have loved being your city councilman,
40:56.290 --> 40:58.450
and I can't wait to be your mayor.
40:58.450 --> 40:59.750
Merry Christmas.
40:59.750 --> 41:01.540
‐ [ cheering ]
41:01.540 --> 41:03.540
[ camera clicking rapidly ]
41:05.710 --> 41:07.710
♪ holiday music ♪
41:14.140 --> 41:15.390
[ cell phone chimes ]
41:25.060 --> 41:27.280
[ camera clicks ]
41:27.280 --> 41:28.940
[ phone chimes ]
41:32.820 --> 41:34.450
[ phone chimes ]
41:40.910 --> 41:43.000
‐ [ chuckles softly ]
41:44.040 --> 41:47.050
TED: [ on video ]
...the way I can ensure depravity
41:47.050 --> 41:50.300
doesn't seep in through
the cracks of our community
41:50.300 --> 41:53.470
is by making sure there are no cracks.
41:53.470 --> 41:56.390
‐ [ cheering on video ]
41:56.390 --> 41:57.970
[ distant door closes ]
41:57.970 --> 41:59.770
TED: [on video]
Look, our foundation is built
41:59.770 --> 42:03.190
on family, tradition and faith,
42:03.190 --> 42:08.270
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.
42:11.780 --> 42:13.780
[ TV playing indistinctly ]
42:15.950 --> 42:17.740
MAN: [ on TV ]
Um, for the chicken breast,
42:17.740 --> 42:22.000
we were looking at a quarter cup of honey,
and remember to use local honey...
42:22.000 --> 42:24.370
[ footsteps ]
[ TV continues indistinctly ]
42:33.840 --> 42:35.130
‐ [ sighs ]
42:35.130 --> 42:36.680
[ footsteps passing ]
42:39.260 --> 42:40.810
[ phone chimes ]
42:44.060 --> 42:45.270
‐ [ gasps ]
42:47.150 --> 42:49.110
‐ Whoa.
[ whirring ]
42:49.110 --> 42:50.230
Shit. Shit!
42:51.070 --> 42:52.570
Come on. Come on.
42:52.570 --> 42:54.650
Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no.
42:56.780 --> 42:59.030
[ clattering ]
42:59.030 --> 43:00.540
Oh!
‐ [ screams ]
43:00.540 --> 43:04.210
Abby, what are you doing in the closet?
43:04.210 --> 43:07.500
‐ I‐‐ Well, I guess
I must have been sleepwalking.
43:07.500 --> 43:09.500
‐ Oh, that is very dangerous.
43:09.500 --> 43:11.500
I once took too many Ambien,
43:11.500 --> 43:13.630
and I bought a racehorse online.
43:13.630 --> 43:15.010
ABBY: Oh.
TIPPER: Okay.
43:15.010 --> 43:16.590
You need to go back downstairs, Abby.
43:16.590 --> 43:18.090
‐ Okay.
‐ Carefully.
43:18.090 --> 43:19.550
ABBY: Yeah, uh‐‐
‐ Are you all right to do that?
43:19.550 --> 43:21.260
ABBY:
Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too.
43:21.260 --> 43:23.810
God, I‐I was in such a daze.
TIPPER: I'll get all this.
43:23.810 --> 43:24.850
ABBY: Okay.
‐ Go on.
43:24.850 --> 43:25.850
ABBY:
Um, I‐I was‐‐
43:25.850 --> 43:27.400
‐ Do you want me to come with you?
43:27.400 --> 43:28.480
ABBY:
No, thank you.
43:28.480 --> 43:29.610
I'm sorry about this.
43:31.230 --> 43:32.610
[ gasps ]
‐ [ Harper growls playfully ]
43:32.610 --> 43:35.110
‐ Oh, my God. [ laughs ]
43:35.110 --> 43:37.410
How did you get down here?
43:37.410 --> 43:39.370
‐ When I saw that mess upstairs,
43:39.370 --> 43:41.870
I knew my mom would be busy
for the next two hours.
43:41.870 --> 43:43.540
‐ What do you want to do for two hours?
43:43.540 --> 43:45.500
‐ I don't know.
‐ Hmm.
43:53.550 --> 43:55.550
[ birds chirping ]
44:05.480 --> 44:07.100
HARPER:
Mm.
44:08.600 --> 44:10.310
[ footsteps in hall ]
44:10.310 --> 44:12.320
[ knocking ]
‐ [ both gasp ]
44:12.320 --> 44:14.280
TIPPER: Abby?
‐ Shit.
44:14.280 --> 44:15.690
Fuck.
44:15.690 --> 44:17.150
TIPPER:
Abby, honey, are you okay?
44:17.150 --> 44:19.110
‐ Uh‐huh. I'm‐I'm‐I'm okay.
44:19.110 --> 44:21.030
‐ [ whispers ]
I can't believe I fell asleep.
44:21.030 --> 44:23.790
TIPPER: Um, I think there's
something against the door.
44:23.790 --> 44:25.790
ABBY:
Um, I'm just moving it right now.
44:25.790 --> 44:27.000
Sorry. It's heavy.
44:28.080 --> 44:29.120
Morning.
44:29.120 --> 44:31.080
‐ Why did you block the door?
44:31.080 --> 44:33.590
‐ I‐I didn't want to sleepwalk again.
44:35.090 --> 44:37.260
‐ Well, sorry to barge in.
44:37.260 --> 44:39.380
The twins usually stay down here.
44:39.380 --> 44:41.300
I'm just getting them Jane's old Game Boy.
44:41.300 --> 44:42.430
‐ Morning, kids.
44:42.430 --> 44:44.600
‐ Morning.
TED: Abby.
44:44.600 --> 44:46.890
Uh, honey, I'm headed to the office,
but I wanted to let you know
44:46.890 --> 44:50.520
I have invited Harry Levin and her husband
to our Christmas Eve party.
44:51.560 --> 44:52.610
‐ What?
44:52.610 --> 44:53.690
TED:
Well, you heard what she said.
44:53.690 --> 44:56.610
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
TED: It's not just about me.
44:56.610 --> 44:58.440
It's about our whole family.
44:58.440 --> 45:01.030
And what is a better
representation of our family
45:01.030 --> 45:04.330
than your Christmas Eve party?
45:05.370 --> 45:07.200
‐ It is legendary.
45:08.700 --> 45:09.960
TED: Mwah!
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
45:09.960 --> 45:11.870
TED: Have a good day.
‐ You know I will.
45:11.870 --> 45:13.130
TIPPER:
Can't even believe that.
45:13.130 --> 45:15.290
That is two more people on the guest list.
45:15.290 --> 45:18.050
I basically have to reimagine
the entire party.
45:18.050 --> 45:19.720
‐ [ sighs ] Man.
45:19.720 --> 45:21.340
‐ Found it.
45:21.340 --> 45:23.930
Okay, come on, you two.
45:23.930 --> 45:25.850
Let's look at it.
45:28.180 --> 45:29.930
‐ [ whispers ] That was very, very close.
45:29.930 --> 45:31.440
‐ We shouldn't have done that.
45:31.440 --> 45:34.560
‐ Harper, we've been up since 5:45 a.m....
‐ This is the last batch.
45:34.560 --> 45:36.900
‐ ...and the twins already made
their own batch of cookies
45:36.900 --> 45:38.070
and decorated them.
‐ No.
45:38.070 --> 45:40.900
SLOANE:
We're making these for the party.
45:40.900 --> 45:42.160
‐ Okay, I'm off.
45:42.160 --> 45:43.570
‐ What? Where are you going?
45:43.570 --> 45:45.490
‐ Uh, Levi has a connection
with a local potpourri vendor.
45:45.490 --> 45:46.700
He's gonna introduce us.
45:46.700 --> 45:48.370
‐ Great. Right.
ERIC: Yeah.
45:48.370 --> 45:49.370
Bye, babe.
45:49.370 --> 45:50.540
TIPPER:
It just runs everywhere.
45:50.540 --> 45:51.620
‐ Bye, kids.
‐ That's right. That's right.
45:51.620 --> 45:52.790
KIDS:
Bye, Daddy.
45:52.790 --> 45:54.000
‐ Jane. Oh, my God.
45:54.000 --> 45:55.500
‐ I'm just gonna do a button. Can I‐‐
‐ No, no.
45:55.500 --> 45:57.000
‐ You can't decorate these.
‐ But they have buttons.
45:57.000 --> 45:58.710
‐ And can you not?
I'm trying to have an even number.
45:58.710 --> 46:00.340
‐ Mommy, when are we gonna see Santa?
46:00.340 --> 46:01.800
‐ Honey, I don't know
if we're gonna have time
46:01.800 --> 46:03.680
to see him this year.
Jane, can you not? I just‐‐
46:03.680 --> 46:05.510
‐ Oh, take them to see Santa Claus.
46:05.510 --> 46:07.810
This could be the last year
that they see him.
46:07.810 --> 46:09.100
‐ Why? Is Santa dying?
46:09.100 --> 46:10.810
‐ No.
‐ Are we dying?
46:10.810 --> 46:13.100
‐ No. Fine, I will take you.
46:13.100 --> 46:15.270
I still need to get
a white elephant gift anyway.
46:15.270 --> 46:17.610
Did you guys get yours?
‐ Yes.
46:17.610 --> 46:20.230
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah, I'm making
something very special.
46:20.230 --> 46:21.610
‐ Uh, what is white elephant?
46:21.610 --> 46:23.530
TIPPER:
Oh, it's a gift exchange game we do
46:23.530 --> 46:25.950
every year at our Christmas Eve party.
‐ Oh.
46:25.950 --> 46:27.910
‐ And I guess you don't know what it is
46:27.910 --> 46:30.450
because Harper forgot
to tell you about it.
46:30.450 --> 46:32.370
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ That's okay.
46:32.370 --> 46:33.790
I‐I can run out and grab one today.
46:33.790 --> 46:37.630
‐ Great. So, you girls can tag along
with Sloane to the mall.
46:37.630 --> 46:40.170
‐ Oh. Actually, I told Dad
that I'd go to his office
46:40.170 --> 46:42.420
and help him write his speech
for Carolyn's dinner tonight.
46:42.420 --> 46:44.340
‐ Yeah, I wish I could go,
46:44.340 --> 46:46.140
but, um, I have to put
the finishing touches
46:46.140 --> 46:48.350
on my Christmas gifts.
46:48.350 --> 46:50.220
‐ Guess it's just gonna be
you and me. Fun.
46:50.220 --> 46:52.180
TIPPER: Well, just make sure
you're all back here by 4:00.
46:52.180 --> 46:53.560
‐ That's okay?
46:53.560 --> 46:56.560
‐ We are going to get
that Christmas photo tonight
46:56.560 --> 46:57.860
before we leave for dinner.
46:57.860 --> 46:59.020
‐ Yes.
‐ Yes.
46:59.020 --> 47:01.030
♪ holiday music playing over speakers ♪
47:09.620 --> 47:11.290
‐ Oh. Hey.
47:11.290 --> 47:14.000
Hey. Can you watch them for a bit?
47:14.000 --> 47:16.120
I have to run an errand.
Um, Santa promised them
47:16.120 --> 47:19.340
[ hushed ]
the complete works of Sylvia Plath, so...
47:19.340 --> 47:20.630
Is that all right?
47:20.630 --> 47:21.750
‐ Yeah.
47:21.750 --> 47:23.260
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:23.260 --> 47:25.010
‐ Okay. Thank you.
47:25.010 --> 47:27.090
Be good, you two.
47:27.090 --> 47:30.050
♪ playful holiday music ♪
47:30.050 --> 47:34.140
‐ Hi, guys.
Do you, um, want to come over‐‐
47:34.140 --> 47:35.560
Want to‐‐ Come on.
47:35.560 --> 47:37.940
♪ ♪
47:37.940 --> 47:39.480
[ chuckles nervously ]
47:41.860 --> 47:44.690
‐ Why was Aunt Harper hiding
in your room this morning?
47:45.740 --> 47:48.280
‐ Uh, we were playing a game.
47:48.280 --> 47:49.950
‐ Like hide‐and‐seek?
47:49.950 --> 47:51.580
‐ Yeah, like hide‐and‐seek.
47:51.580 --> 47:53.160
MAGNUS:
We love that game.
47:53.160 --> 47:55.160
‐ What do you guys think about
this white elephant game?
47:55.160 --> 47:57.000
What gift should I get? Can you help me?
47:57.000 --> 47:58.750
‐ How about this?
47:58.750 --> 48:00.380
‐ That is nice.
48:00.380 --> 48:03.710
I was thinking maybe
something everyone might like.
48:03.710 --> 48:05.590
Like, um...
48:05.590 --> 48:08.260
I don't know, a scarf
might be good, actually.
48:08.260 --> 48:10.680
Someone might want to have that.
48:10.680 --> 48:13.100
Seems Christmassy.
48:14.720 --> 48:16.560
Oh.
48:16.560 --> 48:18.390
Hey, come on. Um...
48:18.390 --> 48:20.350
Hey, Carolyn.
48:20.350 --> 48:21.860
Hey, it's good to see you.
48:23.190 --> 48:25.190
I'm Abby. We met last night.
48:25.190 --> 48:27.190
I'm Harper Caldwell's friend.
48:27.190 --> 48:29.700
‐ [ gasps ] Oh! Oh, yes.
48:29.700 --> 48:31.950
[ chuckling ] Yes, of course.
48:31.950 --> 48:33.240
Mm.
48:34.740 --> 48:37.290
It's lovely seeing you.
48:38.330 --> 48:40.330
‐ Hey, I'm‐I'm really looking forward
to dinner tonight.
48:41.380 --> 48:43.420
‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.
48:46.420 --> 48:48.300
Have‐have a nice day. I'll see you later.
48:48.300 --> 48:50.340
[ alarm blaring ]
CRYSTAL: Hey! Ma'am!
48:50.340 --> 48:51.760
ED: Oh, ma'am!
CRYSTAL: Ma'am, we're gonna
stop you right there.
48:51.760 --> 48:53.800
ED: Ma'am, put the bag on the floor.
‐ Okay.
48:53.800 --> 48:54.970
CRYSTAL: Miss, put it down.
ED: Ma'am!
48:54.970 --> 48:57.560
Put the bag on the floor
and slide it to me.
48:57.560 --> 48:58.890
You want to explain that?
ABBY: A‐As I've said,
48:58.890 --> 49:01.350
I did not put that in my bag.
There might‐‐
49:01.350 --> 49:03.360
‐ Oh, you didn't put it in your bag...
‐ Oh.
49:03.360 --> 49:06.480
‐ ...but it ended up in your bag, so this
is probably just a big misunderstanding.
49:06.480 --> 49:08.990
‐ Maybe it grew legs
and then it walked into her bag.
49:08.990 --> 49:10.530
‐ CRYSTAL: [ stammers ]
Did you check it for legs, or‐‐
49:10.530 --> 49:11.860
‐ I haven't checked it for legs.
‐ You haven't done that.
49:11.860 --> 49:13.780
‐ I'm not suggesting that it grew legs.
49:13.780 --> 49:15.740
‐ It's not looking good, sweetie.
49:15.740 --> 49:16.950
‐ Pittsburgh, huh?
49:16.950 --> 49:18.250
‐ Yeah.
49:18.250 --> 49:19.960
‐ What are you doing down this way?
49:19.960 --> 49:21.330
‐ You pulling a job?
49:21.330 --> 49:22.670
Jacking a roost?
49:22.670 --> 49:24.290
‐ What was that?
CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank
49:24.290 --> 49:25.630
and breaking bad?
49:25.630 --> 49:27.670
‐ I'm not doing any of those things.
ED: Smash and grab?
49:27.670 --> 49:29.720
‐ I‐I didn't take this necklace.
CRYSTAL: Wow.
49:29.720 --> 49:31.680
ABBY: I'm sure that you could
review some footage.
49:31.680 --> 49:32.680
Aren't there cameras in malls?
49:32.680 --> 49:34.680
‐ Are you telling me how to do my job?
ABBY: There are cameras everywhere.
49:34.680 --> 49:35.890
CRYSTAL: You're gonna regret it.
‐ No.
49:35.890 --> 49:37.010
ED: You know what? Fine.
‐ No, I'm not doing any‐‐
49:37.010 --> 49:38.970
‐ Why don't you go ahead
and do my job, hotshot?
‐ Good freaking luck.
49:38.970 --> 49:40.390
ED: You're in charge now.
CRYSTAL: Yeah.
49:40.390 --> 49:41.890
‐ Can you believe‐‐
‐ No, I'm gonna get her to sing, okay?
49:41.890 --> 49:43.650
ED: Go ahead.
CRYSTAL: I'm gonna make this little birdie
49:43.650 --> 49:45.900
go tweet, tweet, tweet, becau‐‐
‐ Go ahead.
49:47.400 --> 49:49.030
‐ Eugene.
‐ [ Eugene stammers ]
49:49.030 --> 49:50.440
‐ Goddamn it. We're‐‐
‐ What are you‐‐
49:50.440 --> 49:51.860
‐ I heard there were Cruffins in here.
49:51.860 --> 49:52.950
‐ No.
49:52.950 --> 49:54.410
‐ There aren't any Cruffins.
49:54.410 --> 49:56.410
EUGENE:
There's not, or there were? Were there?
49:56.410 --> 49:58.410
CRYSTAL: No, we stopped
keeping food in here.
ED: No.
49:58.410 --> 49:59.750
HARPER:
Dad, Abby would never do this.
49:59.750 --> 50:00.960
SLOANE:
Go get ready quick, quick, quick,
50:00.960 --> 50:02.120
because we're late now.
50:02.120 --> 50:03.290
TED:
This isn't a conversation, Harper.
50:03.290 --> 50:04.290
HARPER:
Please, Dad, just be‐‐
50:04.290 --> 50:05.790
TIPPER: [ hushed ]
Shh! Quiet.
50:05.790 --> 50:07.420
HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry.
TIPPER: Oh, I know. I know.
50:07.420 --> 50:09.170
HARPER:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
50:14.510 --> 50:16.550
‐ I didn't do it.
50:16.550 --> 50:17.890
‐ Baby, I know.
50:17.890 --> 50:21.680
But Carolyn thinks it would just be better
if you weren't at the dinner.
50:21.680 --> 50:23.770
Look, it's gonna be so boring anyways.
50:23.770 --> 50:25.400
You're lucky you don't have to go.
50:25.400 --> 50:27.400
Come here.
50:29.190 --> 50:31.440
[ sighs ]
50:31.440 --> 50:35.110
Can we hang out tonight after the dinner?
50:35.110 --> 50:37.580
My friends want to go out,
and‐and we can go with them
50:37.580 --> 50:39.990
or we can not go with them, but...
50:39.990 --> 50:42.620
I just think we‐we need a break
50:42.620 --> 50:44.710
from the family.
50:44.710 --> 50:46.130
‐ Yeah, s‐‐
[ knocking ]
50:47.710 --> 50:49.840
‐ Harper, we have got to go.
50:49.840 --> 50:51.340
Come on, we're gonna be late.
50:51.340 --> 50:53.050
‐ Okay. [ sighs ]
50:53.050 --> 50:54.470
I'll see you later?
ABBY: Mm‐hmm.
50:54.470 --> 50:55.590
‐ Okay.
50:55.590 --> 50:56.930
I'm sorry.
50:56.930 --> 50:59.350
TIPPER:
We weren't able to get the photo again.
50:59.350 --> 51:00.600
[ door closes ]
51:00.600 --> 51:02.600
[ "Blame It on Christmas"
by Shea Diamond playing ]
51:02.600 --> 51:04.600
♪ Blame it on Christmas ♪
51:06.020 --> 51:09.190
♪ Why I'm out of control ♪
51:10.440 --> 51:14.360
♪ Oh, give me forgiveness ♪
51:14.360 --> 51:17.870
♪ For what's about to unfold ♪
51:19.660 --> 51:24.160
♪ 'Cause I just can't keep my cool ♪
51:24.160 --> 51:28.500
♪ While I'm tiding all of this yule ♪
51:28.500 --> 51:32.250
♪ Blame it on, blame it on Christmas ♪
51:32.250 --> 51:34.840
♪ Ooh, why I'm acting a fool. ♪
51:36.630 --> 51:37.800
‐ Hey.
51:37.800 --> 51:39.850
‐ We meet again.
51:39.850 --> 51:41.430
ABBY: [ chuckles ]
Yeah.
51:41.430 --> 51:43.060
‐ No Harper?
51:43.060 --> 51:45.890
‐ No, she's, um, with her family.
51:45.890 --> 51:47.850
I‐I'm gonna meet up with her in a bit.
51:47.850 --> 51:49.310
What'd you get?
51:49.310 --> 51:51.980
‐ Um...
51:51.980 --> 51:56.030
Oh, I can't tell you, because it's for
the white elephant party.
51:56.030 --> 51:57.990
‐ Ah, you're going to that, too?
51:57.990 --> 51:59.370
‐ Oh, yeah.
51:59.370 --> 52:01.200
Yeah, my family goes every year.
52:01.200 --> 52:03.120
It's, um...
52:03.120 --> 52:05.200
God, it's the best party of the year.
52:05.200 --> 52:07.460
‐ [ laughs ]
52:07.460 --> 52:10.040
You know, I'm‐I'm glad I ran into you,
52:10.040 --> 52:13.210
'cause I'm having this thing where
if I stick my finger in my eye,
52:13.210 --> 52:14.960
it, like, really hurts.
52:14.960 --> 52:18.590
‐ Yeah, I mean, that's
a classic case of, um,
52:18.590 --> 52:20.850
contact stupiditis.
52:20.850 --> 52:23.100
Um, because it's a stupid thing to do.
52:23.100 --> 52:24.890
‐ [ laughs ] Yep.
‐ Once you get to
52:24.890 --> 52:26.770
the finger‐poking stage,
you're‐you're pretty much dead.
52:26.770 --> 52:28.190
‐ [ sighs ]
52:28.190 --> 52:31.520
I'd really like to drink some alcohol.
52:31.520 --> 52:33.230
Do you know where I could do that?
52:34.900 --> 52:36.570
‐ Yes.
52:38.240 --> 52:40.490
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪
52:40.490 --> 52:43.120
‐ ♪ Christmas is for caring ♪
‐ [ scattered laughter ]
52:43.120 --> 52:45.040
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪
52:45.040 --> 52:47.790
‐ ♪ Christmas is for sharing ♪
52:47.790 --> 52:49.420
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪
52:49.420 --> 52:52.250
♪ Can't you guess? ♪
52:52.250 --> 52:55.380
‐ ♪ Christmas is for ha... ♪
52:55.380 --> 52:56.840
♪ Penis ♪
52:56.840 --> 52:58.590
RILEY: Yes, you are.
‐ I wish.
52:58.590 --> 53:00.430
‐ Just tell me.
‐ I wish I had a story, like‐‐
53:00.430 --> 53:02.050
‐ Did you steal it?
‐ No.
53:02.050 --> 53:05.720
And I still don't have
a white elephant gift, on top of it all.
53:05.720 --> 53:07.810
‐ You've got to get one.
‐ I'm trying.
53:07.810 --> 53:09.390
‐ I will help you with this.
53:09.390 --> 53:11.770
I know a lot of places that aren't malls.
53:11.770 --> 53:13.060
‐ That would be great.
53:13.060 --> 53:15.440
SINGERS:
♪ And when does Christmas come? ♪
53:15.440 --> 53:19.110
♪ And when does Christmas leave? ♪
53:19.110 --> 53:23.700
‐ [ laughter ]
SINGERS: ♪ It comes but never goes... ♪
53:23.700 --> 53:26.910
‐ What did you mean last night
when you said you could relate?
53:26.910 --> 53:30.120
‐ That was just a comment
based on an assumption
53:30.120 --> 53:33.040
that I was making about you and Harper.
53:35.960 --> 53:38.710
‐ I think it's probably
an accurate assumption.
53:40.970 --> 53:43.140
You don't have to talk to me
about this stuff.
53:43.140 --> 53:44.510
I know it's weird, like‐‐
53:44.510 --> 53:46.390
‐ So, what has she told you?
53:46.390 --> 53:48.600
‐ That you dated in high school.
53:48.600 --> 53:50.850
That you were her first girlfriend.
53:50.850 --> 53:52.770
That's about it.
53:54.150 --> 53:55.900
Is there more?
RILEY: Mm‐hmm.
53:56.940 --> 53:57.940
Yeah, a little.
54:00.900 --> 54:02.910
I mean...
54:05.620 --> 54:07.620
Yeah.
54:07.620 --> 54:10.120
Yeah, growing up,
we were totally inseparable.
54:10.120 --> 54:11.830
We were best friends.
54:11.830 --> 54:15.000
And then, freshman year,
we became more than friends.
54:16.250 --> 54:18.250
We started dating.
54:20.010 --> 54:23.430
But nobody knew that, obviously.
54:23.430 --> 54:26.470
And we would, like,
leave these little love letters
54:26.470 --> 54:28.260
in‐in each other's lockers.
54:28.260 --> 54:31.390
And one day, one of Harper's friends
found one of the letters,
54:31.390 --> 54:34.690
and she asked Harper wh‐what it was about,
54:34.690 --> 54:39.480
and Harper basically just said
that I am gay
54:39.480 --> 54:41.320
and that I wouldn't leave her alone.
54:41.320 --> 54:44.280
And then within a couple days,
like, everybody in school found out,
54:44.280 --> 54:47.320
and everybody was so awful to me.
54:48.370 --> 54:50.410
‐ I'm sorry, that's‐‐ I'm sorry.
54:51.450 --> 54:54.540
‐ Yeah, so the thing that
I can relate to is just
54:54.540 --> 54:58.250
being in love with somebody that is...
54:58.250 --> 55:01.050
too afraid to show the world who they are.
55:07.970 --> 55:09.680
But that was a long time ago.
55:10.720 --> 55:12.270
‐ Yeah.
55:12.270 --> 55:14.270
[ music ends ]
[ cheering, applause ]
55:14.270 --> 55:16.270
‐ Thank you!
55:16.270 --> 55:19.020
All right, that's enough.
55:20.070 --> 55:23.860
And with this next song,
we're gonna need a little help from you.
55:23.860 --> 55:26.450
‐ We're gonna ask you a...
55:26.450 --> 55:28.070
‐ Question.
‐ ...question.
55:28.070 --> 55:30.330
And you are going to...
55:30.330 --> 55:31.910
‐ Give us the answer.
‐ ...answer.
55:31.910 --> 55:34.040
‐ Yeah.
‐ [ laughs ] It's simple.
55:34.040 --> 55:35.620
EM K. ULTRA:
Here we go.
55:35.620 --> 55:37.120
[ applause ]
55:37.120 --> 55:40.130
♪ Who's got a beard
that's long and white? ♪
55:40.130 --> 55:42.590
‐ [ patrons singing ]
‐ We're gonna sing. Ready?
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah.
55:42.590 --> 55:45.220
‐ ♪ Who comes around
on a special night? ♪
55:45.220 --> 55:48.090
‐ ♪ Santa comes around
on a special night ♪
55:48.090 --> 55:50.600
‐ ♪ Special night ♪
‐ ♪ Special night ♪
55:50.600 --> 55:53.560
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪
55:53.560 --> 55:54.980
MISS L'TEAU: Everybody!
‐ Whoa.
55:54.980 --> 55:58.650
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪
55:58.650 --> 56:01.150
♪ Must be Santa ♪
56:01.150 --> 56:04.110
♪ Santa Claus ♪
56:04.110 --> 56:05.900
‐ No. No, what? Oh, my God, no.
‐ What?
56:05.900 --> 56:07.860
‐ Oh, we're gonna get
a little more intimate now.
56:07.860 --> 56:09.200
RILEY:
Yes!
56:09.200 --> 56:11.580
‐ ♪ Who's got boots and a suit of red? ♪
56:11.580 --> 56:13.370
‐ [ laughs ]
‐ Oh... [ laughs ]
56:13.370 --> 56:16.000
Come on, you want to hear her sing, right?
56:16.000 --> 56:19.670
MISS L'TEAU: Yeah.
Yeah, we want to hear her sing.
‐ [ cheering ]
56:19.670 --> 56:21.960
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ Who's got boots
and a suit of red? ♪
‐ I'll help you.
56:21.960 --> 56:24.670
ABBY and RILEY:
♪ Santa's got boots and a suit of red ♪
56:24.670 --> 56:27.260
EM K. ULTRA: Yeah, perfect!
MISS L'TEAU: ♪ Who's got
a long cap on his head? ♪
56:27.260 --> 56:30.010
ALL:
♪ Santa's got a long cap on his head ♪
56:30.010 --> 56:32.760
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ On his head ♪
OTHERS: ♪ On his head ♪
56:32.760 --> 56:35.680
SINGERS: ♪ Suit of red ♪
PATRONS: ♪ Suit of red ♪
56:35.680 --> 56:41.230
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪
56:41.230 --> 56:43.610
♪ Must be Santa ♪
56:43.610 --> 56:47.110
♪ Santa Claus ♪
56:47.110 --> 56:49.320
♪ Must be Santa ♪
56:49.320 --> 56:52.070
♪ Must be Santa ♪
[ cell phone chimes ]
56:52.070 --> 56:53.950
♪ Must be Santa... ♪
56:53.950 --> 56:56.790
‐ Um, I should‐‐ I should close out.
56:56.790 --> 56:58.830
It's‐‐ Harper texted me.
56:58.830 --> 57:01.170
‐ Oh.
‐ Yes.
57:01.170 --> 57:03.460
PATRONS:
♪ Santa's got a beard that's long... ♪
57:03.460 --> 57:06.170
♪ lively dance music ♪
57:06.170 --> 57:07.550
ASHLEY:
...of the square.
57:07.550 --> 57:09.170
The guy at the top of the square.
57:09.170 --> 57:10.380
That's the business model.
57:10.380 --> 57:12.010
It's brilliant.
57:12.010 --> 57:14.050
‐ Hi.
57:14.050 --> 57:15.560
‐ Oh, Abby's here.
CONNOR: Shots, shots, shots.
57:15.560 --> 57:17.600
You guys ready?
‐ How was‐‐ How was tonight?
57:17.600 --> 57:19.140
‐ Shots!
‐ Oh, shots.
ABBY: It was great. It was good.
57:19.140 --> 57:20.940
All right, I think I'm gonna grab a beer.
ASHLEY: Shots, shots, shots, shots.
57:20.940 --> 57:22.480
‐ No, no, no, no.
CONNOR: No, Abby, Abby, hey.
57:22.480 --> 57:23.610
Cannot be at this place sober.
57:23.610 --> 57:24.820
It's a‐‐ Ready? Cheers.
ASHLEY and KELLY: Cheers.
57:24.820 --> 57:26.150
‐ Eyes, eyes.
‐ Eyes, eyes.
57:26.150 --> 57:28.400
‐ Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes,
eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.
57:28.400 --> 57:29.530
CONNOR:
One, two, three. Go.
57:30.570 --> 57:32.530
[ music ends ]
‐ Oh!
57:32.530 --> 57:34.240
‐ Okay, I need some music.
HARPER: Did you have dinner?
57:34.240 --> 57:35.660
ASHLEY: Come, come, come, come, come.
ABBY: Yeah.
57:35.660 --> 57:37.490
‐ Wait. Okay, I'll come right back.
57:39.960 --> 57:41.290
♪ lively dance music ♪
57:41.290 --> 57:43.380
Are you having the most terrible time?
57:43.380 --> 57:44.460
‐ No.
57:44.460 --> 57:46.300
No, I'm‐I'm just tired.
57:46.300 --> 57:47.550
‐ Okay.
‐ I'm really tired.
57:47.550 --> 57:49.460
I think I'm gonna go.
57:49.460 --> 57:51.010
‐ Oh, no.
57:51.010 --> 57:52.510
Uh...
57:52.510 --> 57:54.760
[ sighs ] I kind of want to stay
a little bit longer.
57:54.760 --> 57:56.680
Is that okay?
57:59.140 --> 58:00.980
‐ [ laughter ]
58:02.230 --> 58:04.100
‐ Yeah, you should‐‐ Yes, of course.
58:04.100 --> 58:05.360
Yeah. Yeah, I'm just‐‐
‐ Yeah?
58:05.360 --> 58:06.690
Are you sure?
‐ Mm.
58:06.690 --> 58:08.400
‐ Okay.
58:08.400 --> 58:09.990
And you'll get home okay?
58:09.990 --> 58:11.570
I won't be out late.
58:11.570 --> 58:12.950
Okay.
58:12.950 --> 58:15.700
Text me when you get home.
58:15.700 --> 58:17.080
CONNOR:
Hey.
58:17.080 --> 58:18.240
How about you?
58:18.240 --> 58:19.750
You won't. You won't.
58:19.750 --> 58:22.290
She will. You won't. You won't.
KELLY: You won't.
58:47.980 --> 58:50.610
[ over speakers ]
♪ Hey ♪
58:50.610 --> 58:52.860
♪ What are we doing? ♪
58:52.860 --> 58:55.110
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
58:55.110 --> 58:56.870
♪ Don't you remem... ♪
58:56.870 --> 58:58.330
CONNOR:
Well, that was fun.
58:58.330 --> 59:00.080
HARPER:
Whew. Yeah.
59:00.080 --> 59:02.160
[ Connor groans ]
[ Harper sighs ]
59:02.160 --> 59:04.580
‐ I'm glad you came out.
‐ Yeah.
59:04.580 --> 59:06.830
‐ It's been a minute, you know,
since we've gotten to do this.
59:06.830 --> 59:09.540
Like, since we‐‐
59:10.590 --> 59:11.880
Well, you know.
59:11.880 --> 59:13.970
I've missed you.
59:13.970 --> 59:15.720
‐ No, it's nice to catch up.
59:15.720 --> 59:17.180
‐ Yeah.
59:17.180 --> 59:19.810
[ takes deep breath ]
59:19.810 --> 59:22.100
‐ Well, I'm that way.
59:22.100 --> 59:23.640
‐ Oh, darn.
‐ Where are you?
59:23.640 --> 59:25.140
‐ I'm that way. [ laughs ]
59:25.140 --> 59:26.650
‐ Good night.
‐ Good night.
59:26.650 --> 59:28.230
It was great seeing you.
‐ [ grunts ]
59:28.230 --> 59:30.400
‐ [ clears throat ]
‐ [ Harper chuckles ]
59:30.400 --> 59:32.230
‐ [ sighs ]
59:32.230 --> 59:34.240
Hey, Harper, was there someone else?
59:36.610 --> 59:38.030
‐ What do you mean?
59:39.070 --> 59:41.120
‐ Is that why we broke up?
59:42.160 --> 59:44.250
‐ No.
59:44.250 --> 59:46.960
No, I mean, I‐I told you
that the long distance
59:46.960 --> 59:48.790
just got too hard and‐‐
59:48.790 --> 59:50.290
‐ The distance. Yeah, I know, I know.
59:50.290 --> 59:51.590
I know.
59:52.630 --> 59:54.260
[ sighs ]
59:54.260 --> 59:56.090
I don't know. Just...
59:56.090 --> 59:58.970
kind of always felt like
there was something...
1:00:00.760 --> 1:00:04.020
Kind of felt like there was
something you weren't telling me.
1:00:11.150 --> 1:00:13.150
‐ There wasn't someone else.
1:00:33.840 --> 1:00:35.260
ABBY: [ whispers ]
Hey.
1:00:37.300 --> 1:00:39.300
‐ What's wrong?
1:00:39.300 --> 1:00:40.640
‐ Just making sure you're okay.
1:00:40.640 --> 1:00:42.260
‐ Why wouldn't I be?
1:00:42.260 --> 1:00:44.850
‐ I don't know, you weren't
answering me, so I was‐‐
1:00:44.850 --> 1:00:47.890
‐ I‐I know, but you‐you knew
I was out with my friends.
1:00:47.890 --> 1:00:49.270
‐ Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't know that
1:00:49.270 --> 1:00:50.980
you were gonna be out
till 2:00 in the morning,
1:00:50.980 --> 1:00:52.190
so I'm just checking on you.
1:00:52.190 --> 1:00:54.480
‐ Okay.
1:00:54.480 --> 1:00:56.780
[ chuckles ] I'm sorry.
I didn't know I had a curfew.
1:00:56.780 --> 1:00:58.570
‐ What is going on with you?
1:00:58.570 --> 1:01:00.570
‐ Nothing. I‐‐
1:01:00.570 --> 1:01:02.280
Nothing.
1:01:02.280 --> 1:01:06.120
I just don't know why
you're keeping tabs on me.
1:01:06.120 --> 1:01:08.080
‐ Keeping tabs on you?
‐ Yeah.
1:01:08.080 --> 1:01:09.710
It just‐‐
1:01:09.710 --> 1:01:11.290
[ sighs ]
1:01:11.290 --> 1:01:12.880
‐ What?
1:01:12.880 --> 1:01:16.460
‐ It just feels a little... suffocating.
1:01:16.460 --> 1:01:17.840
‐ I'm suffocating you?
1:01:17.840 --> 1:01:19.840
‐ Or not, but just‐‐
1:01:19.840 --> 1:01:21.800
‐ Well, I feel really suffocated
in the closet
1:01:21.800 --> 1:01:23.220
that you shoved me back into.
‐ Shh!
1:01:23.220 --> 1:01:24.680
[ hushed ]
You agreed to this.
1:01:24.680 --> 1:01:25.930
‐ Yeah, we were practically already here.
1:01:25.930 --> 1:01:27.180
‐ Can you sh‐‐
1:01:27.180 --> 1:01:28.600
Please be quiet.
1:01:28.600 --> 1:01:30.600
‐ I was gonna‐‐ I‐‐
1:01:32.400 --> 1:01:34.650
If I knew that part
of what I was agreeing to
1:01:34.650 --> 1:01:36.690
was you hanging out
with your ex‐boyfriend all night,
1:01:36.690 --> 1:01:39.690
maybe I wouldn't have.
‐ [ sighs ] God, Abby.
1:01:42.240 --> 1:01:45.330
I just‐‐ I feel like
we just need some space.
1:01:45.330 --> 1:01:46.620
‐ You need some space?
1:01:48.450 --> 1:01:50.250
Okay.
1:01:51.420 --> 1:01:52.830
‐ Abby.
1:01:52.830 --> 1:01:54.290
[ footsteps stomping ]
‐ Oh.
1:01:54.290 --> 1:01:57.460
She is very heavy‐footed.
1:01:57.460 --> 1:02:02.470
Honey, I have a list of party errands
that Jane has volunteered to run,
1:02:02.470 --> 1:02:04.680
but I don't trust her
to do them on her own,
1:02:04.680 --> 1:02:07.140
so I need you to supervise.
1:02:07.140 --> 1:02:09.060
‐ Okay.
1:02:13.400 --> 1:02:15.560
‐ It's a long list.
1:02:18.690 --> 1:02:20.490
HARPER: [ sighs ]
Okay.
1:02:20.490 --> 1:02:21.820
[ groans ]
1:02:32.000 --> 1:02:33.750
ABBY:
No, no.
1:02:34.790 --> 1:02:36.080
[ phone vibrating ]
1:02:38.210 --> 1:02:41.090
Hey.
JOHN: Okay, so...
1:02:41.090 --> 1:02:44.470
I might have been a little judgmental
when we last spoke.
1:02:44.470 --> 1:02:48.140
You are in an unusual situation,
and as your friend,
1:02:48.140 --> 1:02:50.470
I should have created
a safe space for you to share
1:02:50.470 --> 1:02:52.890
without the threat of criticism, so...
1:02:52.890 --> 1:02:54.560
I'm sorry.
1:02:54.560 --> 1:02:56.230
I am here.
1:02:56.230 --> 1:02:57.860
No judgment.
1:02:57.860 --> 1:02:59.400
What is going on?
1:02:59.400 --> 1:03:00.980
ABBY:
Well, let's see.
1:03:00.980 --> 1:03:03.110
I was arrested by mall security yesterday,
1:03:03.110 --> 1:03:05.280
and now Harper's entire family
thinks I'm a criminal.
1:03:05.280 --> 1:03:07.740
And after spending her entire night, like,
1:03:07.740 --> 1:03:11.660
until 2:00 in the morning,
with her ex‐boyfriend Connor,
1:03:11.660 --> 1:03:14.000
she's acting like someone
I barely even recognize.
1:03:14.000 --> 1:03:16.580
And I want to just get out of here,
but it would cost me
1:03:16.580 --> 1:03:18.750
like a thousand dollars
to get a ride, and‐‐
1:03:18.750 --> 1:03:21.340
This is why I avoid Christmas.
1:03:21.340 --> 1:03:23.010
It brings out the worst in everything.
1:03:23.010 --> 1:03:26.050
I‐I know this isn't about me.
I just feel crazy, like‐‐
1:03:26.050 --> 1:03:28.720
Do I‐‐ It's‐‐
Do I stick it out for two days?
1:03:28.720 --> 1:03:30.720
It's‐it's not that long.
1:03:30.720 --> 1:03:32.810
But I don't know. I‐‐
1:03:34.020 --> 1:03:35.890
What would you do?
1:03:35.890 --> 1:03:37.060
JOHN:
Uh...
1:03:37.060 --> 1:03:38.520
Uh... uh...
1:03:38.520 --> 1:03:39.650
I...
1:03:39.650 --> 1:03:41.780
[ quietly ]
Thank you.
1:03:41.780 --> 1:03:44.740
I'm gonna‐‐ I'm gonna need
to give this a think.
1:03:44.740 --> 1:03:46.490
I think.
1:03:47.740 --> 1:03:49.570
‐ Hello?
1:03:59.330 --> 1:04:01.920
[ inhales deeply ]
1:04:01.920 --> 1:04:03.960
[ exhales ]
1:04:07.050 --> 1:04:09.050
[ exhales sharply ]
1:04:11.180 --> 1:04:13.100
[ sighs ]
1:04:14.520 --> 1:04:16.140
Hey, um...
1:04:16.140 --> 1:04:17.890
Hey, it's Abby.
1:04:17.890 --> 1:04:20.020
Are you‐‐ Are you doing
anything right now?
1:04:20.020 --> 1:04:22.270
Who's really gonna want
a mini doughnut factory?
1:04:22.270 --> 1:04:23.820
RILEY:
Uh, this family.
1:04:23.820 --> 1:04:25.860
I saw two of their cousins
get in a fistfight
1:04:25.860 --> 1:04:27.700
over a quesadilla maker
at this party once.
1:04:27.700 --> 1:04:29.780
[ cell phone chimes ]
‐ Oh, yikes.
1:04:36.910 --> 1:04:38.370
‐ Everything all right?
1:04:38.370 --> 1:04:39.670
‐ Yeah.
1:04:42.670 --> 1:04:45.840
JANE:
Thank you so much. It looks so good.
1:04:45.840 --> 1:04:47.920
I mean, it‐it looks good.
1:04:47.920 --> 1:04:50.680
[ "The First Noel"
plays softly over speakers ]
1:04:52.890 --> 1:04:54.350
JANE:
This is all for me.
1:04:54.350 --> 1:04:55.850
[ chuckles ] It's not. It's not.
1:04:55.850 --> 1:04:57.020
I'm just kidding.
1:04:57.020 --> 1:04:58.730
It's for my‐‐
1:04:58.730 --> 1:05:00.810
And yes, we'll have‐‐
1:05:06.070 --> 1:05:08.190
Ready to go?
1:05:08.190 --> 1:05:10.820
‐ [ gasps ]
[ bottles clatter ]
1:05:10.820 --> 1:05:12.450
[ Harper sighs ]
1:05:12.450 --> 1:05:14.450
‐ It's probably okay.
1:05:16.370 --> 1:05:18.250
[ grunts ]
1:05:18.250 --> 1:05:20.330
‐ [ Harper gasps ]
1:05:22.080 --> 1:05:23.290
[ Harper sighs ]
1:05:23.290 --> 1:05:25.300
♪ playful music ♪
1:05:29.420 --> 1:05:31.890
‐ Oh, do not put that there.
1:05:31.890 --> 1:05:34.640
What do you think this is, a barn party?
1:05:34.640 --> 1:05:37.560
Hey, everyone, please come down!
1:05:37.560 --> 1:05:41.230
We are getting this photo
as soon as Jane gets here.
1:05:41.230 --> 1:05:42.940
‐ Honey, are you sure
this is the best time?
1:05:42.940 --> 1:05:44.400
People will start arriving any minute.
1:05:44.400 --> 1:05:45.980
‐ It's the only time.
1:05:45.980 --> 1:05:47.320
[ door opens ]
1:05:48.940 --> 1:05:50.490
Hi, Abby.
‐ Hi.
1:05:50.490 --> 1:05:52.990
Oh, where should I put
this white elephant gift?
1:05:52.990 --> 1:05:54.820
‐ I don't know. In the oven?
1:05:54.820 --> 1:05:56.450
Jesus, Abby, where do you think it goes?
1:05:56.450 --> 1:05:57.990
Under the damn tree.
1:05:57.990 --> 1:05:59.620
[ sighs ] I'm sorry.
1:05:59.620 --> 1:06:01.290
I'm sorry.
1:06:01.290 --> 1:06:03.630
You probably never even
had a Christmas tree.
1:06:03.630 --> 1:06:06.090
[ sighs ] We do this party every year,
1:06:06.090 --> 1:06:09.260
and every year,
no matter how early I start planning,
1:06:09.260 --> 1:06:11.970
I just feel totally unprepared.
1:06:11.970 --> 1:06:15.760
[ sighs ]
And I can't find my Christmas brooch.
1:06:15.760 --> 1:06:17.310
Have you seen it?
1:06:17.310 --> 1:06:18.890
You can tell me.
1:06:18.890 --> 1:06:20.310
I won't be mad.
1:06:20.310 --> 1:06:22.190
I just want to know it's safe.
1:06:23.650 --> 1:06:25.110
‐ I haven't seen it.
1:06:26.610 --> 1:06:28.020
‐ Okay.
1:06:28.020 --> 1:06:32.490
Well, if it should magically
appear on my dresser,
1:06:32.490 --> 1:06:34.490
there will be no questions asked.
1:06:34.490 --> 1:06:35.740
‐ Okay.
TIPPER: Okay.
1:06:43.790 --> 1:06:46.290
‐ [ sighs ] Um...
1:06:46.290 --> 1:06:47.500
Hey, Ted.
1:06:48.590 --> 1:06:51.720
I just wanted to mention‐‐
1:06:51.720 --> 1:06:54.970
everything that happened yesterday
was a complete misunderstanding.
1:06:54.970 --> 1:06:56.470
You know, I would never, ever‐‐
1:06:56.470 --> 1:06:58.720
You‐you don't‐‐ You don't have to explain.
1:06:58.720 --> 1:07:01.140
Let's just avoid
any further incidents, yes?
1:07:01.140 --> 1:07:02.890
‐ Yeah. Yes.
TED: Okay.
1:07:02.890 --> 1:07:05.440
‐ Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas Eve.
TED: Oh.
1:07:05.440 --> 1:07:07.440
‐ [ chuckles ] Hey, Abby.
ABBY: Hey.
1:07:07.440 --> 1:07:09.440
‐ Look at what this little elf brought in.
1:07:09.440 --> 1:07:11.280
[ squeals ]
ABBY: Wow. What is that?
1:07:11.280 --> 1:07:13.030
‐ This is my masterpiece.
1:07:13.030 --> 1:07:15.530
Whoever picks it is gonna be very pleased.
1:07:15.530 --> 1:07:16.950
‐ Oh, Jane, I'm so glad you're here.
1:07:16.950 --> 1:07:18.280
The printer's jammed again.
1:07:18.280 --> 1:07:20.290
‐ Oh, okay. I'm on it.
1:07:32.300 --> 1:07:34.920
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
1:07:34.920 --> 1:07:36.720
What'd you do today?
1:07:36.720 --> 1:07:40.050
‐ I just went and got
a white elephant gift.
1:07:40.050 --> 1:07:41.390
‐ Oh.
1:07:41.390 --> 1:07:42.850
In town?
1:07:42.850 --> 1:07:44.180
‐ Yeah.
1:07:44.180 --> 1:07:45.600
‐ How'd you get there?
1:07:45.600 --> 1:07:46.690
‐ Has Jane arrived yet?
1:07:46.690 --> 1:07:49.520
‐ Yeah, Jane's in Ted's office with him.
1:07:49.520 --> 1:07:51.400
TIPPER:
Jane, Ted, now!
1:07:51.400 --> 1:07:54.030
Nice of you two to join us.
Where are the twins?
1:07:54.030 --> 1:07:56.740
‐ They don't feel like having
their picture taken tonight.
1:07:56.740 --> 1:07:59.280
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
1:07:59.280 --> 1:08:01.790
TIPPER:
Harper, come with me.
1:08:02.830 --> 1:08:05.290
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪
1:08:07.920 --> 1:08:09.420
SLOANE:
It's really a break from
1:08:09.420 --> 1:08:12.550
traditional gifting
and a move into the extraordinary.
1:08:12.550 --> 1:08:15.220
The vessels are curated
for each individual.
1:08:15.220 --> 1:08:17.840
We'd be happy to mindfully assemble‐‐
TED: Uh, S‐Sloane was
1:08:17.840 --> 1:08:21.550
on track to make partner at her firm
before she left to start a family.
1:08:21.550 --> 1:08:22.720
She's our super mom,
1:08:22.720 --> 1:08:27.140
Harper is our powerhouse, and, uh, Jane...
1:08:27.140 --> 1:08:29.850
i‐is the only reason
the Internet ever works in this house.
1:08:29.850 --> 1:08:31.310
‐ [ laughing ]
JANE: Aw.
1:08:31.310 --> 1:08:33.150
I have a way with routers.
1:08:35.030 --> 1:08:36.780
ERIC:
Excuse me, all.
1:08:36.780 --> 1:08:38.950
Uh, the twins have prepared
a little song for you.
1:08:38.950 --> 1:08:40.240
HARPER:
Oh.
1:08:40.240 --> 1:08:42.700
[ piano playing "Silent Night" ]
1:08:45.370 --> 1:08:48.620
‐ ♪ Silent night ♪
1:08:48.620 --> 1:08:51.460
♪ Holy night ♪
1:08:51.460 --> 1:08:53.500
♪ All is calm... ♪
1:08:53.500 --> 1:08:55.590
‐ What are you drinking?
1:08:55.590 --> 1:08:57.800
‐ Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol.
1:08:57.800 --> 1:09:00.220
‐ Gross. Can I have some?
‐ Yeah.
1:09:00.220 --> 1:09:03.350
KIDS:
♪ Mother and child... ♪
1:09:03.350 --> 1:09:05.850
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐ So, Plort is the leader
of the Shadow Dreamers.
1:09:05.850 --> 1:09:07.890
He's half human, half Quazzle.
‐ Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm.
1:09:07.890 --> 1:09:10.310
‐ He's got the eyes of a Verg
but the heart of a Zengle.
1:09:10.310 --> 1:09:12.230
The Verg comes from his mother's side,
generations back.
1:09:12.230 --> 1:09:14.020
SLOANE:
If you want the spa package vessel,
1:09:14.020 --> 1:09:15.860
you could do edible bubble bath.
‐ Excuse me, Sloane.
1:09:15.860 --> 1:09:17.990
Uh, Harry wants to meet the twins.
1:09:17.990 --> 1:09:19.360
‐ I'll find them.
TED: Okay.
1:09:19.360 --> 1:09:20.700
‐ Excuse me.
1:09:20.700 --> 1:09:23.580
‐ You know?
Thing is, my parents were so attached
1:09:23.580 --> 1:09:28.040
to me believing in Santa Claus
that even after years go by
1:09:28.040 --> 1:09:30.080
and I stop believing in Santa Claus,
1:09:30.080 --> 1:09:32.250
and they knew that I stopped
believing in Santa Claus,
1:09:32.250 --> 1:09:34.250
we just kept that charade going.
1:09:34.250 --> 1:09:37.460
Their investment in it just made me feel
so bad for them, you know?
1:09:37.460 --> 1:09:39.010
‐ Mm‐hmm.
1:09:40.050 --> 1:09:42.390
Yeah.
1:09:42.390 --> 1:09:44.430
‐ Like, so bad for them that...
1:09:44.430 --> 1:09:47.720
you know, that I eventually
just murdered them.
1:09:47.720 --> 1:09:48.890
‐ That sounds fun.
‐ Mm.
1:09:48.890 --> 1:09:50.350
Okay.
1:09:51.390 --> 1:09:53.020
What is happening?
1:09:53.020 --> 1:09:54.480
CONNOR:
Hey, you guys.
1:09:54.480 --> 1:09:56.150
HARPER:
Connor, you made it.
1:09:56.150 --> 1:09:57.860
JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi.
CONNOR: Hey, guys. Merry Christmas.
1:09:57.860 --> 1:09:59.690
Good to see you. Hi.
‐ [ Abby sighs ]
1:09:59.690 --> 1:10:02.110
CONNOR: Merry Christmas.
‐ I don't know.
1:10:04.160 --> 1:10:05.950
Yesterday, I'd never felt closer
1:10:05.950 --> 1:10:08.330
to another person
in my entire life, and now I...
1:10:08.330 --> 1:10:11.040
I don't know her.
1:10:11.040 --> 1:10:14.460
And I thought she loved me
and was happy, but I...
1:10:14.460 --> 1:10:18.500
I‐I see her here, and she's so terrified
of what everyone thinks,
1:10:18.500 --> 1:10:20.840
and it's just making me wonder
who the real Harper is.
1:10:20.840 --> 1:10:22.880
You know?
1:10:22.880 --> 1:10:24.930
‐ Well, maybe they both are.
1:10:28.220 --> 1:10:30.220
‐ I was gonna ask her
to marry me tomorrow.
1:10:37.110 --> 1:10:40.110
‐ Um, I'm gonna get you a real drink.
1:10:40.110 --> 1:10:41.950
Okay?
1:10:45.370 --> 1:10:46.620
JOHN: [ whispers ]
Abby.
1:10:46.620 --> 1:10:48.410
Abby! [ clears throat ]
1:10:48.410 --> 1:10:50.450
Sorry. What?
1:10:51.450 --> 1:10:52.620
ABBY:
Um...
1:10:53.830 --> 1:10:55.080
How are you here?
1:10:55.080 --> 1:10:56.500
‐ When are you gonna get this?
1:10:56.500 --> 1:10:58.250
I have been tracking you.
1:10:58.250 --> 1:10:59.630
Mm, mm, mm, mm. [ clears throat ]
1:10:59.630 --> 1:11:00.840
‐ Hello.
1:11:00.840 --> 1:11:01.840
‐ Hi.
1:11:01.840 --> 1:11:02.880
TIPPER:
I'm Tipper.
1:11:02.880 --> 1:11:04.470
This is my home.
JOHN: Oh.
1:11:04.470 --> 1:11:06.220
‐ Are you the ex‐boyfriend?
1:11:10.890 --> 1:11:13.730
‐ [ clears throat ] Y‐Yes. I am John,
1:11:13.730 --> 1:11:16.350
Abby's heterosexual ex‐boyfriend,
1:11:16.350 --> 1:11:19.440
and I have come to get her back.
1:11:19.440 --> 1:11:20.980
TIPPER:
Mm. I see.
1:11:20.980 --> 1:11:24.820
Well, it would've been nice
to have known you were coming,
1:11:24.820 --> 1:11:28.320
but since you are here, enjoy.
1:11:28.320 --> 1:11:30.330
JOHN:
Thank you so much.
1:11:31.790 --> 1:11:34.120
Okay, I nailed that, and she is fabulous.
1:11:34.120 --> 1:11:35.370
‐ What are you doing?
1:11:35.370 --> 1:11:38.170
‐ That phone call earlier
was a cry for help.
1:11:38.170 --> 1:11:40.630
I'm here to rescue you.
Please get your things.
1:11:40.630 --> 1:11:42.630
‐ [ sighs ]
1:11:45.300 --> 1:11:46.470
‐ Is that the ex‐boyfriend?
1:11:46.470 --> 1:11:47.930
‐ [ indistinct conversation ]
1:11:47.930 --> 1:11:49.390
‐ [ gasps ] Oh, my God.
1:11:50.560 --> 1:11:52.560
‐ I mean, I guess he's handsome. I‐‐
1:11:52.560 --> 1:11:54.560
Can we please go?
1:11:59.650 --> 1:12:01.190
‐ Harper.
1:12:01.190 --> 1:12:02.650
It's over.
1:12:02.650 --> 1:12:04.190
I'm done.
1:12:10.280 --> 1:12:12.290
‐ I'm just gonna...
1:12:13.370 --> 1:12:16.040
‐ Everybody, please take your seats.
1:12:16.040 --> 1:12:18.880
We're ready to begin white elephant.
1:12:20.630 --> 1:12:22.090
HARPER:
Abby. Hey.
1:12:22.090 --> 1:12:23.420
Can we just talk for a second?
1:12:23.420 --> 1:12:25.210
‐ No. I got to go. I‐I can't‐‐
1:12:25.210 --> 1:12:26.800
I can't do this for you anymore.
1:12:26.800 --> 1:12:28.550
But, uh, merry Christmas.
1:12:28.550 --> 1:12:32.010
Enjoy your family, and enjoy Connor.
1:12:32.010 --> 1:12:35.140
‐ What? What?
No, I don't‐‐ I don't want him.
1:12:35.140 --> 1:12:36.730
I don't want Connor.
1:12:36.730 --> 1:12:37.890
I want you.
1:12:37.890 --> 1:12:39.060
‐ Then what was that?
1:12:39.060 --> 1:12:40.770
‐ I don't know.
1:12:40.770 --> 1:12:43.610
Why are you huddled
in a corner with Riley?
1:12:43.610 --> 1:12:45.940
‐ None of this has anything
to do with Riley.
1:12:45.940 --> 1:12:48.360
This is all happening
because of you, Harper.
1:12:48.360 --> 1:12:51.950
You not telling your parents about us
is a choice that you made.
1:12:51.950 --> 1:12:53.910
‐ It is not that simple.
ABBY: Do you know how painful
1:12:53.910 --> 1:12:58.370
it's been to watch the person
that I love choose to hide me?
1:12:58.370 --> 1:13:00.880
‐ I am not hiding you. I am hiding me.
1:13:01.920 --> 1:13:03.750
Okay?
1:13:03.750 --> 1:13:06.840
Our entire life,
we have been expected to be
1:13:06.840 --> 1:13:10.800
these perfect, golden children.
1:13:11.970 --> 1:13:15.520
I mean, love in our house wasn't
something we just got for free.
1:13:15.520 --> 1:13:17.100
It is something that we competed for,
1:13:17.100 --> 1:13:19.520
and if we veered
off their course, we lost it.
1:13:21.020 --> 1:13:23.270
I‐I know it's messed up, okay?
1:13:23.270 --> 1:13:24.940
I get it.
1:13:24.940 --> 1:13:26.610
But they're my parents,
1:13:26.610 --> 1:13:29.110
and I am scared that if
I tell them who I really am,
1:13:29.110 --> 1:13:31.280
I will lose them.
1:13:31.280 --> 1:13:34.910
And I know, if I don't tell them,
I will lose you.
1:13:36.950 --> 1:13:38.960
I don't want to lose you.
1:13:41.210 --> 1:13:42.540
‐ Hey, come here. Come here.
1:13:42.540 --> 1:13:44.290
‐ No, I don't want to lose you.
‐ No, no.
1:13:44.290 --> 1:13:46.250
Look at me. Come here.
Look at me. It's okay.
1:13:46.250 --> 1:13:48.340
‐ I don't‐‐
‐ Hey, stop.
1:13:50.010 --> 1:13:52.390
HARPER: I don't want to lose you.
ABBY: You're not.
1:13:57.390 --> 1:13:59.770
SLOANE:
Matilda and Magnus...
1:14:03.310 --> 1:14:05.230
TIPPER:
If you want a present... [ laughs ]
1:14:05.230 --> 1:14:07.230
you better have a number.
1:14:07.230 --> 1:14:08.610
‐ [ clears throat ] 'Sup?
1:14:08.610 --> 1:14:09.990
‐ 'Sup?
1:14:09.990 --> 1:14:11.530
TIPPER:
Anybody else?
1:14:11.530 --> 1:14:12.820
‐ [ chuckles ]
1:14:12.820 --> 1:14:14.820
‐ You pump?
1:14:15.950 --> 1:14:18.490
‐ I'm sorry?
‐ Weights.
1:14:18.490 --> 1:14:20.370
‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah.
1:14:21.500 --> 1:14:23.460
‐ Yeah.
1:14:23.460 --> 1:14:25.880
You?
‐ Yeah. Yeah.
1:14:27.000 --> 1:14:29.010
‐ What do you bench?
‐ [ sighs ]
1:14:30.090 --> 1:14:32.090
Thousand. Thou‐Thousand, plus.
1:14:32.090 --> 1:14:34.140
TIPPER:
All right. Everybody have your numbers?
1:14:34.140 --> 1:14:35.760
SLOANE: Kids?
‐ Sloane, Sloane, Sloane!
1:14:35.760 --> 1:14:37.350
‐ Hmm? Yeah?
‐ Can we just talk for a sec?
1:14:37.350 --> 1:14:39.350
‐ Oh, what's there to talk about?
You and Abby are in
1:14:39.350 --> 1:14:41.180
a romantic relationship,
and you've been lying
1:14:41.180 --> 1:14:42.940
to the family about it
for God knows how long.
1:14:42.940 --> 1:14:44.520
Does that sound about right, or‐‐
1:14:44.520 --> 1:14:48.230
‐ Just, uh, please don't tell
Mom and Dad yet.
1:14:48.230 --> 1:14:50.530
‐ [ chuckles softly ]
‐ Please, Sloane.
1:14:50.530 --> 1:14:52.860
I'm telling them after the holidays.
1:14:59.490 --> 1:15:01.450
‐ [ chuckles ]
1:15:01.450 --> 1:15:02.790
Just rip it.
1:15:02.790 --> 1:15:04.670
HARPER:
Please promise me you won't say anything.
1:15:04.670 --> 1:15:07.080
Now is just very bad timing,
1:15:07.080 --> 1:15:09.170
and I'm telling them everything
after the holidays anyways.
1:15:09.170 --> 1:15:10.710
‐ Honestly, I feel sorry for you.
1:15:10.710 --> 1:15:12.340
Mom and Dad are gonna be so heartbroken
1:15:12.340 --> 1:15:14.340
when they find out
you've been lying to them.
[ clattering ]
1:15:14.340 --> 1:15:16.550
‐ Sloane, if you‐‐
‐ [ gasps ] Wait. Kids?
1:15:16.550 --> 1:15:18.890
Found you!
‐ [ gasping ]
1:15:18.890 --> 1:15:20.100
HARPER:
Oh.
1:15:20.100 --> 1:15:21.310
‐ Are you kidding me?
1:15:21.310 --> 1:15:23.640
No one's supposed to know yet.
1:15:23.640 --> 1:15:25.390
We had an agreement.
1:15:25.390 --> 1:15:26.900
‐ I'm sorry.
1:15:26.900 --> 1:15:29.570
‐ I guess I'm not
the only one with a secret.
1:15:31.480 --> 1:15:33.110
‐ [ Sloane screams ]
1:15:33.110 --> 1:15:34.530
‐ Wow.
‐ Yeah.
1:15:34.530 --> 1:15:36.410
‐ Yeah, that is‐‐ That's‐that's good mass.
1:15:36.410 --> 1:15:38.030
That is solid.
‐ Yeah. Thanks, man.
1:15:38.030 --> 1:15:40.280
JANE:
Oh, my God. They all look so nice.
1:15:40.280 --> 1:15:42.120
‐ Just choose, Jane.
‐ [ chuckles ]
1:15:42.120 --> 1:15:43.910
‐ Eeny, meeny, mi‐‐
1:15:43.910 --> 1:15:45.460
[ laughs ] I'm just kidding.
1:15:45.460 --> 1:15:46.460
‐ [ grunting ]
1:15:46.460 --> 1:15:48.880
‐ You have no idea what goes on
in other people's families,
1:15:48.880 --> 1:15:50.960
so you need to just keep your mouth shut!
1:15:50.960 --> 1:15:53.420
HARPER:
You keep your mouth shut, psycho!
1:15:53.420 --> 1:15:55.340
‐ I should run. Yeah.
‐ Yeah.
1:15:57.390 --> 1:15:59.140
‐ Levi. [ clears throat ] We should‐‐
1:15:59.140 --> 1:16:01.220
JANE:
Huh. I wonder what this one is.
1:16:02.640 --> 1:16:05.270
‐ Abby, get the Santa.
‐ [ strained grunt ]
1:16:05.270 --> 1:16:07.100
‐ I mean‐‐
‐ You stay out of this, Sappho.
1:16:07.100 --> 1:16:08.150
‐ I would‐‐
1:16:08.150 --> 1:16:09.860
‐ [ grunting ]
1:16:09.860 --> 1:16:12.150
‐ I don't know what this is.
1:16:12.150 --> 1:16:14.440
It's big.
‐ [ laughter ]
1:16:14.440 --> 1:16:15.990
‐ [ grunting, screaming ]
‐ Oh!
1:16:18.490 --> 1:16:20.240
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
‐ [ gasping ]
1:16:20.240 --> 1:16:21.780
‐ Oh, gosh.
1:16:21.780 --> 1:16:23.790
Here, help me out here.
1:16:25.290 --> 1:16:27.500
What‐what‐what‐‐ Wh‐What is this?
1:16:27.500 --> 1:16:29.830
‐ It's a painting of Main Street.
1:16:29.830 --> 1:16:30.750
I made it.
1:16:30.750 --> 1:16:32.340
‐ I love that.
1:16:32.340 --> 1:16:34.090
[ clearing throat ]
1:16:35.920 --> 1:16:37.720
SLOANE:
No! No, no, no!
1:16:37.720 --> 1:16:40.140
[ screams ] I'll kill you!
1:16:40.140 --> 1:16:41.180
‐ [ guests murmuring ]
SLOANE: I'll kill you!
1:16:41.180 --> 1:16:42.680
TED: What are you doing?
TIPPER: Girls!
1:16:42.680 --> 1:16:44.930
What is going on?
1:16:44.930 --> 1:16:46.390
‐ Yeah, what is going on?
1:16:46.390 --> 1:16:48.440
Harper, do you want
to tell them, or should I?
1:16:48.440 --> 1:16:49.940
‐ Don't, Sloane!
SLOANE: Why?
1:16:49.940 --> 1:16:51.110
It's not good timing?
1:16:51.110 --> 1:16:52.190
‐ [ grunts ]
‐ [ guests gasp ]
1:16:52.190 --> 1:16:53.900
‐ Girls, stop that this instant!
1:16:53.900 --> 1:16:55.480
‐ Come on, guys. Just hug it out.
1:16:55.480 --> 1:16:56.650
BOTH:
Shut up, Jane!
1:16:56.650 --> 1:16:58.360
‐ Don't do this, Sloane.
1:16:58.360 --> 1:17:00.820
‐ All this because you're scared
to not be the favorite.
1:17:00.820 --> 1:17:01.870
Pathetic.
1:17:01.870 --> 1:17:03.030
‐ Sloane, you're making a scene!
1:17:03.030 --> 1:17:04.080
SLOANE:
I am?
1:17:04.080 --> 1:17:06.450
You think she's so innocent?
1:17:07.580 --> 1:17:10.620
All of this is happening
because Harper is‐‐
1:17:10.620 --> 1:17:12.750
‐ [ guests gasp, scream ]
1:17:12.750 --> 1:17:13.840
‐ [ panting ]
1:17:15.300 --> 1:17:17.420
‐ Harper is a lesbian.
1:17:17.420 --> 1:17:19.430
Abby's her girlfriend.
1:17:31.770 --> 1:17:32.980
‐ She is lying.
1:17:34.980 --> 1:17:36.280
I am not a lesbian.
1:17:36.280 --> 1:17:40.070
Sloane is the one that has this big‐‐
1:18:07.600 --> 1:18:09.560
[ grunting in frustration ]
TED: No!
1:18:09.560 --> 1:18:11.770
‐ [ Harper screams ]
‐ [ guests gasping, shouting ]
1:18:11.770 --> 1:18:13.730
‐ Harper!
‐ [ Sloane and Harper screaming ]
1:18:13.730 --> 1:18:15.860
‐ Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it!
HARRY: Oh, my.
1:18:15.860 --> 1:18:16.980
JANE:
No!
1:18:16.980 --> 1:18:18.980
Enough!
1:18:18.980 --> 1:18:20.320
‐ [ both panting ]
1:18:20.320 --> 1:18:25.120
‐ I put 100 hours
into that painting, and you...
1:18:25.120 --> 1:18:28.370
you just destroyed it like it was nothing.
1:18:30.540 --> 1:18:31.960
It was something.
1:18:33.330 --> 1:18:35.840
I am something.
1:18:37.090 --> 1:18:38.590
And guess what.
1:18:38.590 --> 1:18:39.960
I like myself.
1:18:39.960 --> 1:18:44.430
And maybe you all don't
because I'm not fancy.
1:18:45.640 --> 1:18:48.850
But whether you like it or not,
I'm a part of this family,
1:18:48.850 --> 1:18:51.390
and I will not be left out anymore!
1:18:51.390 --> 1:18:52.690
‐ [ screaming ]
‐ No!
1:18:52.690 --> 1:18:55.350
‐ [ guests gasping ]
1:18:56.560 --> 1:18:57.900
‐ Stop it, girls!
1:18:57.900 --> 1:18:59.900
‐ [ groaning ]
TIPPER: Stop this right now.
1:18:59.900 --> 1:19:01.070
JANE:
Guys, you keep ripping it more!
1:19:01.070 --> 1:19:03.530
TIPPER:
Kids, what are you doing back there?
1:19:03.530 --> 1:19:06.200
MAGNUS: Playing hide‐and‐seek
like Abby and Aunt Harper.
1:19:07.410 --> 1:19:09.660
‐ [ sighs, sniffles ]
1:19:13.250 --> 1:19:15.250
[ footsteps approaching ]
1:19:19.300 --> 1:19:21.630
[ sighs, sniffles ]
1:19:22.760 --> 1:19:24.180
JOHN:
Abby?
1:19:24.180 --> 1:19:25.680
‐ [ Abby groans ]
1:19:29.720 --> 1:19:31.600
‐ Want to go for a walk?
1:19:32.640 --> 1:19:33.890
Okay.
1:19:34.940 --> 1:19:36.730
Okay.
1:19:36.730 --> 1:19:38.810
Come on.
1:19:38.810 --> 1:19:40.730
ABBY:
My parents loved Christmas.
1:19:41.820 --> 1:19:43.150
We would do all the stuff.
1:19:43.150 --> 1:19:45.450
We would decorate and...
1:19:45.450 --> 1:19:47.870
do the tree and watch, like,
every Christmas movie.
1:19:52.450 --> 1:19:56.210
After they died, I‐I couldn't really
bring myself to acknowledge Christmas.
1:19:56.210 --> 1:19:57.750
JOHN:
Hmm.
1:19:59.630 --> 1:20:03.300
‐ The holidays were just
a huge reminder of...
1:20:03.300 --> 1:20:05.840
them not being here.
1:20:08.010 --> 1:20:10.300
So I really thought
maybe this year with...
1:20:10.300 --> 1:20:14.890
with Harper and meeting
her family, you know,
1:20:14.890 --> 1:20:16.770
that it would just feel different.
1:20:22.820 --> 1:20:24.490
[ sniffles ]
1:20:24.490 --> 1:20:27.570
I don't‐‐ I don't think that she...
1:20:27.570 --> 1:20:29.570
loves me as much as I thought she did.
1:20:29.570 --> 1:20:31.240
‐ Hey.
1:20:32.330 --> 1:20:37.330
Harper not coming out to her parents
has nothing to do with you.
1:20:37.330 --> 1:20:40.330
‐ [ trembling ] How could it not?
1:20:42.290 --> 1:20:46.090
‐ Remind me, what did your parents say
when you told them you were gay?
1:20:47.300 --> 1:20:51.180
‐ Um, that they loved and supported me.
1:20:52.350 --> 1:20:54.560
‐ That's amazing.
1:20:57.980 --> 1:21:00.400
My dad...
1:21:00.400 --> 1:21:02.230
kicked me out of the house
1:21:02.230 --> 1:21:04.940
and didn't talk to me
for 13 years after I told him.
1:21:06.860 --> 1:21:09.280
Everybody's story is different.
1:21:10.660 --> 1:21:12.950
There's your version
1:21:12.950 --> 1:21:17.000
and my version and everything in between.
1:21:19.620 --> 1:21:22.920
But the one thing that
all of those stories have in common
1:21:22.920 --> 1:21:27.420
is that moment
right before you say those words,
1:21:27.420 --> 1:21:30.510
when your heart is racing
1:21:30.510 --> 1:21:32.800
and you don't know what's coming next.
1:21:35.760 --> 1:21:37.770
That moment's really terrifying.
1:21:39.440 --> 1:21:41.600
And then once you say those words,
1:21:41.600 --> 1:21:44.020
you can't unsay them.
1:21:44.020 --> 1:21:48.400
A chapter has ended,
and a new one's begun,
1:21:48.400 --> 1:21:52.570
and you have to be ready for that.
1:21:52.570 --> 1:21:54.780
You can't do it for anyone else.
1:21:56.700 --> 1:21:59.620
Just because Harper isn't ready,
1:21:59.620 --> 1:22:02.170
it doesn't mean she never will be,
1:22:02.170 --> 1:22:04.080
and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
1:22:04.080 --> 1:22:05.750
‐ [ sniffles ]
1:22:08.340 --> 1:22:09.880
[ sniffles ]
1:22:09.880 --> 1:22:13.430
I‐I want to be with someone who is ready.
1:22:13.430 --> 1:22:15.350
‐ Mm.
1:22:28.030 --> 1:22:30.570
You look great in this coat.
1:22:30.570 --> 1:22:32.490
GUEST: Merry Christmas. Thank you.
SLOANE: Thank you.
1:22:32.490 --> 1:22:35.070
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
1:22:36.120 --> 1:22:37.870
RILEY:
Just wait for me in the car.
1:22:44.460 --> 1:22:45.670
Great party.
1:22:46.710 --> 1:22:48.300
‐ Yeah.
1:22:48.300 --> 1:22:49.420
‐ You okay?
1:22:53.050 --> 1:22:54.890
‐ I'm so sorry.
1:22:57.100 --> 1:22:58.970
‐ [ sighs ]
1:23:02.100 --> 1:23:04.270
Merry Christmas.
1:23:05.850 --> 1:23:07.610
‐ Merry Christmas.
1:23:12.530 --> 1:23:14.360
‐ She's a really good one.
1:23:14.360 --> 1:23:16.200
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah.
1:23:20.240 --> 1:23:21.450
‐ Riley.
‐ Sloane.
1:23:27.630 --> 1:23:29.500
‐ I'm sorry.
1:23:30.710 --> 1:23:32.880
Okay, come on. Let's get you two to bed.
1:23:34.970 --> 1:23:37.220
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin, for coming,
1:23:37.220 --> 1:23:41.470
and again, my apologies for the spectacle.
1:23:41.470 --> 1:23:43.230
‐ I'll call you.
1:23:50.440 --> 1:23:52.440
‐ What the hell happened tonight?
1:23:52.440 --> 1:23:54.950
Even as children,
you never behaved this badly.
1:23:54.950 --> 1:23:57.870
I expected more from you,
especially you, Harper.
1:23:57.870 --> 1:23:59.910
You know how this world works.
1:23:59.910 --> 1:24:04.330
Reputation is everything,
and tonight you jeopardized mine.
1:24:04.330 --> 1:24:07.170
Jane, I know you‐you just
wanted to be included.
1:24:07.170 --> 1:24:08.460
‐ It was really nice.
1:24:08.460 --> 1:24:12.420
‐ Sloane, making up lies
about your sister.
1:24:12.420 --> 1:24:13.800
You're better than that.
1:24:13.800 --> 1:24:16.260
At least you used to be.
1:24:18.840 --> 1:24:20.970
‐ Sorry, I'm‐I'm just getting my stuff.
1:24:20.970 --> 1:24:23.060
‐ Wait, Abby.
1:24:23.060 --> 1:24:24.680
Wait.
1:24:25.890 --> 1:24:27.140
[ sighs ]
1:24:27.140 --> 1:24:29.150
Sloane wasn't lying.
1:24:30.730 --> 1:24:32.230
I'm gay.
1:24:36.820 --> 1:24:39.740
And I am in love with Abby.
1:24:41.950 --> 1:24:43.950
I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner,
1:24:43.950 --> 1:24:47.500
but I know how much appearances
and reputation matter to you,
1:24:47.500 --> 1:24:50.790
and me being gay just didn't...
1:24:50.790 --> 1:24:53.210
fit into the plan.
1:24:53.210 --> 1:24:57.130
But I...
1:24:57.130 --> 1:25:00.340
let myself hurt Riley...
1:25:02.140 --> 1:25:05.140
...because I was so scared
that you would find out
1:25:05.140 --> 1:25:07.390
I wasn't who you wanted me to be.
1:25:08.480 --> 1:25:10.270
And...
1:25:10.270 --> 1:25:12.860
I still regret it.
1:25:14.150 --> 1:25:17.860
I can't do that to Abby... [ chuckles ]
1:25:19.910 --> 1:25:21.700
[ crying ] ...and throw away...
1:25:23.080 --> 1:25:24.660
...our life together.
1:25:27.620 --> 1:25:32.380
So I am done being scared,
1:25:32.380 --> 1:25:34.880
and I am done keeping secrets.
1:25:37.050 --> 1:25:38.800
I love you.
1:26:03.030 --> 1:26:05.450
‐ Eric and I are getting a divorce.
1:26:06.700 --> 1:26:09.660
We separated a few months ago.
1:26:10.910 --> 1:26:12.960
And the truth is I didn't tell you
1:26:12.960 --> 1:26:15.210
because without my family
I'm worthless to you.
1:26:16.880 --> 1:26:22.130
We've spent our entire lives
trying to earn your love,
1:26:22.130 --> 1:26:24.140
and I'm done, too.
1:26:30.850 --> 1:26:34.350
‐ I don't have any secrets,
but I am an ally.
1:26:43.530 --> 1:26:44.950
[ distant door closes ]
1:26:49.040 --> 1:26:51.580
‐ I'm gonna go.
1:26:51.580 --> 1:26:54.170
‐ Wait. No, no.
1:26:54.170 --> 1:26:56.170
[ sighing ]
1:26:57.960 --> 1:26:59.880
I did it.
1:27:00.880 --> 1:27:02.590
‐ Mm‐hmm.
1:27:04.300 --> 1:27:06.850
I'm sorry.
1:27:06.850 --> 1:27:09.470
Uh, it's just too late.
1:27:26.410 --> 1:27:28.410
‐ [ sobs softly ]
1:27:48.680 --> 1:27:50.680
‐ [ takes deep breath ]
1:27:52.600 --> 1:27:56.730
I have always wanted to try karate,
1:27:56.730 --> 1:27:58.730
even though I know it's not elegant.
1:27:58.730 --> 1:28:01.020
I hate flowers.
1:28:01.020 --> 1:28:02.690
‐ I see what you're doing.
1:28:02.690 --> 1:28:07.360
‐ We have been so worried
about seeming perfect.
1:28:09.030 --> 1:28:13.000
But maybe we don't even know
what perfect is.
1:28:14.040 --> 1:28:16.370
We have one daughter
1:28:16.370 --> 1:28:20.380
who has been unhappy in a marriage
and felt like she couldn't tell us,
1:28:20.380 --> 1:28:23.670
and another daughter who...
1:28:23.670 --> 1:28:27.340
[ crying ] just had her heart broken
1:28:27.340 --> 1:28:30.260
because she was afraid
1:28:30.260 --> 1:28:33.020
we wouldn't love her
if she told us the truth.
1:28:33.020 --> 1:28:35.020
And... [ sniffles ]
1:28:35.020 --> 1:28:38.650
the only reason that Jane is okay
is because we gave up on her
1:28:38.650 --> 1:28:41.060
after she wouldn't stop
biting in preschool.
1:28:41.060 --> 1:28:43.110
[ takes deep, gasping breath ]
1:28:43.110 --> 1:28:45.190
That is...
1:28:45.190 --> 1:28:49.410
very far from perfect, if you ask me.
1:28:57.080 --> 1:28:59.000
‐ Thanks.
1:28:59.000 --> 1:29:01.170
‐ I'm really sorry.
1:29:01.170 --> 1:29:02.670
‐ I know.
1:29:02.670 --> 1:29:04.420
Me, too.
1:29:05.800 --> 1:29:08.180
And, Jane, I...
1:29:08.180 --> 1:29:11.640
I'm so sorry about your painting.
1:29:11.640 --> 1:29:13.430
It was really beautiful.
1:29:13.430 --> 1:29:15.680
‐ It was.
1:29:15.680 --> 1:29:17.850
‐ Thanks, guys.
1:29:23.690 --> 1:29:26.690
‐ He just needs a little time.
1:29:31.320 --> 1:29:33.950
JOHN:
Okay, listen to these ingredients:
1:29:33.950 --> 1:29:35.290
maltodextrin,
1:29:35.290 --> 1:29:38.000
autolyzed yeast extract,
1:29:38.000 --> 1:29:40.870
artificial colors‐‐ Red 40 Lake,
1:29:40.870 --> 1:29:44.130
Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5.
1:29:44.130 --> 1:29:46.840
Because all of the yellows
taste so different.
1:29:46.840 --> 1:29:49.590
You know, I am disgusted at the poison
1:29:49.590 --> 1:29:52.390
these corporations
try to pass off as food.
1:29:54.220 --> 1:29:56.100
‐ Who's watching the animals?
1:29:56.100 --> 1:29:58.310
‐ My therapist is taking care of them,
but we should have
1:29:58.310 --> 1:30:01.270
a conversation about the fish
at some point.
1:30:02.560 --> 1:30:04.730
‐ What happened to the fish?
1:30:06.860 --> 1:30:08.860
‐ Let's look at gum.
1:30:12.950 --> 1:30:15.160
Okay, so I just want to
preface this by saying that
1:30:15.160 --> 1:30:17.080
nobody would disagree
that fish belong in the ocean.
1:30:17.080 --> 1:30:18.580
Correct?
[ horn honking ]
1:30:21.210 --> 1:30:23.040
‐ Abby.
1:30:23.040 --> 1:30:24.540
‐ H‐How did you even‐‐
1:30:24.540 --> 1:30:27.000
‐ I tracked you. John taught me.
1:30:27.000 --> 1:30:28.460
‐ I just want to go home.
1:30:28.460 --> 1:30:30.760
HARPER:
I know. I just‐‐
1:30:30.760 --> 1:30:33.140
Please, let me say this.
1:30:34.180 --> 1:30:36.430
You are my family.
1:30:36.430 --> 1:30:40.430
I mean, you are the love of my life.
1:30:40.430 --> 1:30:41.980
I was terrible.
1:30:41.980 --> 1:30:44.440
And‐and I wish that
I could undo everything,
1:30:44.440 --> 1:30:46.820
but I promise you
I will make it up to you.
1:30:46.820 --> 1:30:50.190
I will spend the rest of my life
making it up to you.
1:30:50.190 --> 1:30:52.860
And I won't hurt you like this again.
1:30:54.990 --> 1:30:57.620
But please...
1:30:57.620 --> 1:30:59.450
give me another chance.
1:30:59.450 --> 1:31:01.910
I‐I want to build a life with you.
1:31:03.960 --> 1:31:05.790
Please.
1:31:07.790 --> 1:31:09.380
‐ And what about your parents? I‐‐
1:31:09.380 --> 1:31:11.420
‐ No, no, I...
1:31:11.420 --> 1:31:14.130
I don't care what they think.
1:31:14.130 --> 1:31:16.510
I only care about you.
1:31:17.850 --> 1:31:20.470
If I have you, that's all I need.
1:31:22.770 --> 1:31:24.480
Be with me.
1:31:31.110 --> 1:31:33.610
♪ uplifting music ♪
1:31:35.410 --> 1:31:37.120
‐ [ chuckles ]
1:31:52.550 --> 1:31:54.340
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪
1:31:54.340 --> 1:31:55.760
JANE:
So, the Shadow Dreamers
1:31:55.760 --> 1:31:58.220
were compelled to rise up against Flanks.
1:31:58.220 --> 1:32:00.390
JOHN: Because of the blatant
Thorfian rights violations.
1:32:00.390 --> 1:32:01.770
‐ Exactly.
1:32:01.770 --> 1:32:02.850
‐ Good morning.
1:32:02.850 --> 1:32:04.140
‐ Hey, morning. Merry Christmas.
‐ Hi.
1:32:04.140 --> 1:32:06.100
‐ Morning.
HARPER: Hey, Mom.
1:32:06.100 --> 1:32:07.980
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.
1:32:07.980 --> 1:32:09.190
ABBY:
How'd you sleep?
1:32:09.190 --> 1:32:11.150
‐ Did he come down?
1:32:11.150 --> 1:32:12.900
‐ No, not yet.
1:32:12.900 --> 1:32:14.320
SLOANE:
Everyone.
1:32:14.320 --> 1:32:15.530
Go ahead, kids.
1:32:15.530 --> 1:32:18.320
‐ We put the necklace in Abby's bag.
1:32:18.320 --> 1:32:19.950
MAGNUS:
We're sorry.
1:32:19.950 --> 1:32:21.280
‐ Thank you.
1:32:21.280 --> 1:32:23.370
‐ Can we open our stockings now?
1:32:23.370 --> 1:32:25.210
‐ Yes.
‐ Let's go.
1:32:25.210 --> 1:32:27.290
[ footsteps approaching ]
1:32:33.880 --> 1:32:38.220
‐ Uh, I have sunk
almost all of our savings
1:32:38.220 --> 1:32:40.220
into this campaign.
1:32:40.220 --> 1:32:44.020
Because I thought, if I won,
1:32:44.020 --> 1:32:46.020
you'd all be proud of me.
1:32:46.020 --> 1:32:48.100
‐ We're already proud of you.
1:32:48.100 --> 1:32:50.360
‐ We don't care if you win.
1:32:50.360 --> 1:32:51.520
‐ Yeah.
1:32:51.520 --> 1:32:53.440
And the money doesn't matter.
1:32:53.440 --> 1:32:56.030
When I sell my book,
I'll take care of all of us.
1:32:59.410 --> 1:33:02.200
‐ I love you, girls.
1:33:02.200 --> 1:33:05.000
And I'm sorry for making you think
1:33:05.000 --> 1:33:08.080
that anything could ever
get in the way of that.
1:33:09.080 --> 1:33:10.750
I want to do better,
1:33:10.750 --> 1:33:14.050
and it will take time,
but all I want for you
1:33:14.050 --> 1:33:16.170
is to find the same joy and happiness
1:33:16.170 --> 1:33:20.800
that you have given me,
no matter where it comes from.
1:33:20.800 --> 1:33:22.800
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]
1:33:24.890 --> 1:33:26.680
JANE:
Aw.
1:33:26.680 --> 1:33:29.560
TED: Mm.
‐ [ women laughing ]
1:33:29.560 --> 1:33:32.650
[ "O Holy Night" instrumental playing ]
1:33:41.410 --> 1:33:42.820
‐ Whoa!
1:33:42.820 --> 1:33:44.120
‐ Smile.
1:33:44.120 --> 1:33:45.490
Smile.
1:33:45.490 --> 1:33:46.790
‐ Aw.
[ camera clicks ]
1:33:46.790 --> 1:33:48.830
‐ You didn't think I knew
how to do that, did you?
1:33:48.830 --> 1:33:49.830
‐ I‐‐ It's impressive.
1:33:49.830 --> 1:33:51.750
♪ ♪
1:34:07.350 --> 1:34:09.140
‐ Hello?
HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted.
1:34:09.140 --> 1:34:10.730
‐ Merry‐‐
HARRY: I'll get right to it.
1:34:10.730 --> 1:34:13.270
I like you. I think you can win, too,
1:34:13.270 --> 1:34:15.230
and not just this election.
1:34:15.230 --> 1:34:17.610
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin.
HARRY: Hold on. There's an "if."
1:34:17.610 --> 1:34:21.320
Now, I don't know if Sloane's
revelation last night was true,
1:34:21.320 --> 1:34:23.530
but if it is... [ sighs ]
1:34:23.530 --> 1:34:27.200
and Harper can adopt
a "don't ask, don't tell" policy
1:34:27.200 --> 1:34:29.870
regarding her private life,
1:34:29.870 --> 1:34:31.660
I think we could be in business.
1:34:31.660 --> 1:34:33.670
What do you say?
1:34:45.720 --> 1:34:47.310
‐ Well?
1:34:47.310 --> 1:34:49.270
‐ It's not gonna work out.
1:34:50.310 --> 1:34:51.560
‐ Oh.
1:34:51.560 --> 1:34:53.230
‐ We'll figure something out.
1:34:57.770 --> 1:34:59.570
TIPPER:
Great, so‐‐ Wait, come over here.
1:34:59.570 --> 1:35:01.900
TED: Okay. Where am I? Here?
TIPPER: You move there.
1:35:01.900 --> 1:35:04.070
TED: Yeah, okay. Okay.
TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right.
1:35:04.070 --> 1:35:06.120
Um, Jane, you get in the middle.
1:35:06.120 --> 1:35:07.120
‐ Yeah.
1:35:08.160 --> 1:35:09.580
‐ [ chuckling ]
‐ Right there.
1:35:09.580 --> 1:35:11.330
TIPPER:
John, would you mind?
1:35:11.330 --> 1:35:13.420
‐ Oh, I would be delighted.
1:35:13.420 --> 1:35:15.540
Okay.
1:35:15.540 --> 1:35:17.880
‐ Abby, what are you doing way over there?
1:35:17.880 --> 1:35:19.500
Get in here.
‐ Come on.
1:35:19.500 --> 1:35:21.670
‐ [ laughter ]
1:35:23.930 --> 1:35:26.300
‐ Okay. Everyone say, "Christmas."
1:35:26.300 --> 1:35:28.180
‐ No, don't say that.
‐ [ Abby laughs ]
1:35:28.180 --> 1:35:30.770
[ "Make You Mine This Season"
by Tegan and Sara playing ]
1:35:30.770 --> 1:35:31.850
[ camera clicks ]
1:35:31.850 --> 1:35:35.270
♪ Somebody broke your heart ♪
1:35:35.270 --> 1:35:38.020
♪ Under a Christmas tree... ♪
1:35:38.020 --> 1:35:40.070
JANE:
"Once they cross Corvall Chasm,
1:35:40.070 --> 1:35:42.240
"they will enter floam territory.
1:35:42.240 --> 1:35:45.660
"The Shadow Dreamers know
they might not all make it out
1:35:45.660 --> 1:35:47.450
"with their Krindoll intact,
1:35:47.450 --> 1:35:51.490
"but the entire Thorfian race
rests on their shoulders.
1:35:51.490 --> 1:35:56.000
"They look to each other
and then into the darkness.
1:35:56.000 --> 1:35:59.460
It is Glank who takes the first step."
1:35:59.460 --> 1:36:01.840
‐ [ cheering ]
1:36:07.550 --> 1:36:09.350
‐ Here you go.
Thank you so much for coming.
1:36:09.350 --> 1:36:10.390
MAN:
Thank you.
1:36:10.390 --> 1:36:11.970
JANE: Bye.
‐ Hi.
1:36:11.970 --> 1:36:13.140
JANE: Hi.
‐ We'll meet you there?
1:36:13.140 --> 1:36:14.140
‐ Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:36:14.140 --> 1:36:15.140
‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah, you bet.
1:36:15.140 --> 1:36:16.350
‐ That was awesome.
‐ Bye.
1:36:16.350 --> 1:36:17.400
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.
1:36:17.400 --> 1:36:18.560
‐ Oh. Two at a time.
‐ Oh.
1:36:18.560 --> 1:36:19.770
‐ Aah!
‐ Oh, my word.
‐ It's an onslaught.
1:36:19.770 --> 1:36:21.070
♪ ♪
1:36:21.070 --> 1:36:24.280
♪ Make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪
1:36:24.280 --> 1:36:27.780
♪ Bells ring out on the street ♪
1:36:27.780 --> 1:36:29.910
♪ Snow falling at our feet ♪
1:36:29.910 --> 1:36:31.780
‐ [ indistinct chatter ]
1:36:31.780 --> 1:36:34.250
♪ Lights glowing in the trees ♪
1:36:35.540 --> 1:36:37.670
♪ Will you dance with me? ♪
1:36:37.670 --> 1:36:41.670
♪ Have I been good enough ♪
‐ [ Sloane laughs ]
1:36:41.670 --> 1:36:45.760
♪ To ask for your love? ♪
1:36:48.680 --> 1:36:52.310
♪ You're the only girl
I've got on my list ♪
1:36:52.310 --> 1:36:55.680
♪ I write your name, I know it's foolish ♪
1:36:55.680 --> 1:36:59.900
♪ But I chase the feeling
'cause you keep me dreaming ♪
1:36:59.900 --> 1:37:03.940
♪ That I could make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪
1:37:03.940 --> 1:37:06.820
♪ I put a star on the top of my tree ♪
1:37:06.820 --> 1:37:10.660
♪ I just want to make you mine ♪
1:37:10.660 --> 1:37:14.080
♪ Its light is gonna lead you
straight to me ♪
1:37:14.080 --> 1:37:17.710
♪ I just want to make you mine. ♪
1:37:22.380 --> 1:37:24.380
[ song fades ]
[ "Think of Christmas"
by Anne‐Marie begins ]
1:37:24.380 --> 1:37:28.550
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:37:28.550 --> 1:37:30.760
♪ I think of you ♪
1:37:41.440 --> 1:37:44.190
♪ Remember the snow angels ♪
1:37:44.190 --> 1:37:46.570
♪ Unorthodox anecdotes ♪
1:37:46.570 --> 1:37:49.400
♪ About how it's never home ♪
1:37:49.400 --> 1:37:52.120
♪ Hmm, unless you're here ♪
1:37:52.120 --> 1:37:54.780
♪ Don't matter how deep the snow ♪
1:37:54.780 --> 1:37:57.500
♪ Don't matter how cold it goes ♪
1:37:57.500 --> 1:38:00.000
♪ I've already made it home ♪
1:38:00.000 --> 1:38:02.330
♪ Hmm, because you're here ♪
1:38:02.330 --> 1:38:05.130
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪
1:38:05.130 --> 1:38:07.800
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪
1:38:07.800 --> 1:38:10.630
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪
1:38:10.630 --> 1:38:12.930
♪ But they know 'cause ♪
1:38:12.930 --> 1:38:16.100
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪
1:38:16.100 --> 1:38:17.520
♪ Yeah, they know ♪
1:38:17.520 --> 1:38:22.020
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪
1:38:22.020 --> 1:38:25.650
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪
1:38:25.650 --> 1:38:28.570
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪
1:38:28.570 --> 1:38:32.570
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:38:32.570 --> 1:38:35.950
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪
1:38:35.950 --> 1:38:38.910
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪
1:38:38.910 --> 1:38:43.210
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:38:43.210 --> 1:38:45.500
♪ I think of you ♪
1:38:48.590 --> 1:38:50.970
♪ I think of you ♪
1:38:56.140 --> 1:38:58.810
♪ Rewriting my memories ♪
1:38:58.810 --> 1:39:01.230
♪ Creating new history ♪
1:39:01.230 --> 1:39:04.060
♪ And the season feels new to me ♪
1:39:04.060 --> 1:39:06.360
♪ Huh, because you're here ♪
1:39:06.360 --> 1:39:09.110
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪
1:39:09.110 --> 1:39:11.820
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪
1:39:11.820 --> 1:39:14.910
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪
1:39:14.910 --> 1:39:16.950
♪ But they know 'cause ♪
1:39:16.950 --> 1:39:20.120
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪
1:39:20.120 --> 1:39:21.450
♪ Yeah, they know ♪
1:39:21.450 --> 1:39:26.000
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪
1:39:26.000 --> 1:39:29.670
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪
1:39:29.670 --> 1:39:32.550
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪
1:39:32.550 --> 1:39:36.470
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:39:36.470 --> 1:39:40.100
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪
1:39:40.100 --> 1:39:42.980
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪
1:39:42.980 --> 1:39:47.310
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:39:47.310 --> 1:39:49.690
♪ I think of you ♪
1:39:52.780 --> 1:39:55.240
♪ I think of you ♪
1:39:58.200 --> 1:40:00.660
♪ I think of you ♪
1:40:04.580 --> 1:40:08.790
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪
1:40:08.790 --> 1:40:11.210
♪ I think of you. ♪
[ song ends ]
1:40:11.210 --> 1:40:13.210
♪ joyous holiday music ♪
1:40:43.240 --> 1:40:45.250
♪ ♪
1:41:04.220 --> 1:41:06.230
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental plays ]
1:41:36.260 --> 1:41:38.260
♪ ♪
1:41:41.090 --> 1:41:43.100
[ music ends ]
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