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DRE: Society would have us
believe that the divide
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00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:07,048
between boys and girls is vast
and insurmountable.
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00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:10,506
We're taught, "Girls are made
of sugar and spice
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00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:11,654
and everything nice."
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00:00:11,751 --> 00:00:14,172
"And boys are made of snips and snails
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00:00:14,237 --> 00:00:16,030
and puppy dog tails."
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00:00:16,055 --> 00:00:18,684
But in this house,
we raise our daughters
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00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:20,968
to be just as strong as our sons.
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00:00:20,969 --> 00:00:26,014
We raise our sons to be just
as sensitive as our daughters.
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00:00:26,015 --> 00:00:29,268
And I would say we overachieved
with Junior.
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00:00:29,269 --> 00:00:34,106
But still, Bow and I try
to look past gender
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00:00:34,107 --> 00:00:38,694
and see our kids
for the individuals they are.
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Oh!
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00:00:40,244 --> 00:00:41,309
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
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00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:42,496
- Look at this.
- What?
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00:00:42,521 --> 00:00:45,381
I got twenty likes on my new sneakers.
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You know that's not a lot, right?
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00:00:46,695 --> 00:00:47,903
What? What? What?
19
00:00:47,904 --> 00:00:49,128
No, Diane liked it. Look at that.
20
00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:50,194
And she doesn't like anything.
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Online or in real life.
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00:00:52,107 --> 00:00:53,774
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
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00:00:53,775 --> 00:00:55,151
- What?
- "Golden State Thriller"?
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00:00:55,152 --> 00:00:56,694
Did she change her username?
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I don't know. She's always chang...
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00:00:58,155 --> 00:00:59,196
What is that?
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00:00:59,197 --> 00:01:00,474
- [Gasps]
- What is this?
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00:01:00,499 --> 00:01:02,325
[Gasps] Scroll.
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00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:04,035
Is this a fake account?
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Oh, m... Oh!
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Oh, my Lord!
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Oh, God.
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Wait, Dre.
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- It's worse.
- Yeah.
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This is her real account.
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She played us.
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How is she verified?
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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- Image reported.
- Okay.
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00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:26,557
Image reported.
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Image reported.
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Yes, because it directly harms me!
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You know, we should have never
got the Internet.
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Somebody get me Zuckerberg.
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Get me Zuckerberg!
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Dre, look, I know she broke the rules,
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but we do not get to overreact.
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The last thing we want to do
is body shame our daughter.
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Appropriate amounts
of body shaming is okay.
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It's what got me to return
my male thong!
51
00:01:45,744 --> 00:01:49,080
No, Dre, the beach club management
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got you to return your male thong.
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Listen, I know you want to freak out,
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00:01:55,003 --> 00:01:58,839
but this is a normal part
of teenage development.
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I remember... I remember, Dre,
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00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,344
when I was a teenage girl,
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00:02:03,345 --> 00:02:07,682
I had two diaries.
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One for my mother to find
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00:02:09,768 --> 00:02:12,728
and the other
where I wrote down my crushes
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00:02:12,729 --> 00:02:14,234
and all my new swears.
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Of course you were dirty.
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What do you mean, dirty?
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Your parents were terrible.
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How could this happen to us?
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00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:23,189
After football season,
we are all going back to church.
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00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:25,399
Well, we don't need
to punish everybody, Dre.
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Look, we need to stay calm
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00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:29,278
or she's just gonna hide
more things from us.
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00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,738
So when I get home from work,
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00:02:30,739 --> 00:02:32,698
you and I are gonna
sit her down together
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00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,408
and we're gonna talk about what she did
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and figure out how
we're gonna move forward.
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That's the plan.
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- I like it.
- Okay.
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Can I hold a belt?
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00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,042
No.
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Fine.
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00:02:44,795 --> 00:02:48,005
I'm just going to wear one just in case.
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[Laughter]
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00:02:49,508 --> 00:02:50,883
- Hey, Dre.
- Yeah.
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00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:52,176
I tried to send you my Instagram story
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00:02:52,177 --> 00:02:53,427
of me going to a Black barber,
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00:02:53,428 --> 00:02:54,637
but you didn't come up.
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00:02:54,638 --> 00:02:56,639
Did... Did you
accidentally block me again?
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00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,683
Ah, no, Josh.
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00:02:58,684 --> 00:03:02,144
Even though I would love
to ignore that story,
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00:03:02,145 --> 00:03:03,896
I deleted my account this morning.
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00:03:03,897 --> 00:03:05,731
- Oh.
- Well, that's probably for the best, Dre.
89
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:07,733
All those pictures of you
in fancy cars and diamonds
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00:03:07,734 --> 00:03:09,318
made me want to pay you less.
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00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,903
- Hm.
- What happened, Dre?
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00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:13,364
Oh, did you accept a request
from a Russian model
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00:03:13,365 --> 00:03:14,865
and now none of your computers
will turn on?
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00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:16,826
No, I found Diane's secret account,
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00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:18,327
where she's posing like a model
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00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,246
and getting likes from guys
old enough to vote
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but don't.
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Sweet mother of God, Dre.
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00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:25,459
What foreign country
are you sending her to?
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00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:27,753
You don't want any place
west of Belarus.
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00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:29,296
That was my first instinct.
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00:03:29,297 --> 00:03:31,716
But then Bow convinced me
that we need to be sensitive
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00:03:31,717 --> 00:03:34,802
with Diane so that
she can continue to trust us!
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00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:36,804
That is such nonsense.
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00:03:36,805 --> 00:03:38,889
Young girls don't need trust.
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They need to think
that behind every door
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is a man waiting
to besmirch them physically.
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00:03:44,229 --> 00:03:45,980
- What?
- Exactly right.
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Diane needs to know that
all teenage boys are wolves.
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And she is a little lamb.
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00:03:50,944 --> 00:03:52,695
That's right, Dre. Men are just angling
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00:03:52,696 --> 00:03:54,071
at ways to get at your daughter,
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and once they do...
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[Chuckles]
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...she belongs to the night.
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She broke the rules.
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She's not some helpless creature, man.
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00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,748
Diane can handle herself.
We raised her right.
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00:04:03,749 --> 00:04:06,292
But did everyone else's parents
raise them right?
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00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:07,376
- Hmm.
- [Chuckles]
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I know I didn't.
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Look, Dre, here's the thing.
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00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,801
If my teenage daughter
were to get pregnant,
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maybe it would lower my chance
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00:04:17,637 --> 00:04:19,305
of winning "father of the year" award,
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00:04:19,306 --> 00:04:22,016
but if your teenage daughter
gets pregnant,
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00:04:22,017 --> 00:04:25,186
well, then you and she
are just a stereotype.
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00:04:25,187 --> 00:04:26,520
[Chuckles]
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00:04:26,521 --> 00:04:28,814
Isn't the world funny?
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00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:31,067
Hey, who's thinking hot sandwiches?
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00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,360
I am starving.
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00:04:32,361 --> 00:04:33,236
- I do!
- Come on, let's get it.
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00:04:33,237 --> 00:04:35,196
- Let's do it!
- Oh, yeah!
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00:04:35,197 --> 00:04:36,614
♪♪
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- Hey, Grandma.
- Yeah, babe?
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00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:39,408
Can I talk to you?
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00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,618
It's about me and Olivia.
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00:04:40,619 --> 00:04:44,080
Ah, you need relationship advice,
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00:04:44,081 --> 00:04:46,540
so you came to the only person
you could trust.
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00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:48,501
Yeah. Also, nobody else is home.
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00:04:48,502 --> 00:04:49,919
Sit down, baby.
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00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,755
So, Olivia and I have been doing
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00:04:52,756 --> 00:04:54,715
this "around-the-world" food tour.
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00:04:54,716 --> 00:04:56,717
- Mm-hmm.
- And she loves it so much,
145
00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:58,969
but it has been killing my stomach.
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00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:00,262
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know what to do.
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00:05:00,263 --> 00:05:01,555
I really like her.
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00:05:01,556 --> 00:05:04,934
How do I tell her
I hate something she loves?
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00:05:04,935 --> 00:05:06,852
Well, that's an easy one, baby.
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00:05:06,853 --> 00:05:09,355
- You don't.
- What?
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00:05:09,356 --> 00:05:14,068
Secrets are the foundation
of all good relationships.
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00:05:14,069 --> 00:05:16,153
- Hmm.
- Couples need a little mystery.
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00:05:16,154 --> 00:05:19,156
You think Barack goes to the
bathroom in front of Michelle?
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00:05:19,157 --> 00:05:20,408
Hell no.
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00:05:20,409 --> 00:05:21,951
They have boundaries.
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00:05:21,952 --> 00:05:25,037
But I'm lying to her. Isn't that wrong?
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Is the lie making you
a better boyfriend?
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00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:28,834
Maybe?
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Then it's not wrong.
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Listen, I lie to
your grandfather all the time,
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00:05:34,423 --> 00:05:36,924
and our relationship
has been going strong
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00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:39,427
for fifty years.
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00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,886
Didn't you blow up his boat?
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00:05:40,887 --> 00:05:44,432
And some day, God willing,
she'll blow up your boat.
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00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,850
- Oh.
- The point is,
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00:05:45,851 --> 00:05:48,269
is what she don't know won't hurt her.
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00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,937
- You understand?
- Yeah.
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00:05:49,938 --> 00:05:51,355
Get the hell on where you're going.
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00:05:51,356 --> 00:05:53,190
- Thanks, Grandma.
- You're welcome.
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00:05:53,191 --> 00:05:55,276
[Laughs]
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00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:57,945
Mm.
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00:05:57,946 --> 00:06:01,574
No wonder the baby
has allergies. [Scoffs]
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00:06:01,575 --> 00:06:03,409
The guys at work tried to scare me,
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00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:06,287
but I knew Diane had
a good head on her shoulders.
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00:06:06,288 --> 00:06:07,538
Hey, Dad.
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00:06:07,539 --> 00:06:09,582
Hey, new sweatshirt?
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00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,083
Oh, it's not mine.
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00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:14,211
I got cold during Spanish,
so Jason gave this to me.
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00:06:14,212 --> 00:06:15,880
Jason?
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00:06:15,881 --> 00:06:17,631
Jason, who fills out that sweatshirt?
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00:06:17,632 --> 00:06:19,216
I mean, it's actually
kind of tight on him.
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00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:20,968
He really bulked up over the summer.
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00:06:20,969 --> 00:06:23,179
He took his shirt off
during football practice,
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00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,639
and I heard the coach gasp.
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00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,224
Hey, son, uh,
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00:06:27,225 --> 00:06:29,602
can you give me and Diane
a minute, please?
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00:06:29,603 --> 00:06:30,895
Sure, but if you want to hear more
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00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:33,272
about how truly large Jason is,
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00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:34,899
you know where to find me.
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00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,276
- Uh, baby girl.
- Mm-hmm?
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00:06:37,277 --> 00:06:39,528
Uh, you're gonna have
to give that sweatshirt back.
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00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,322
But he said I can keep it
as long as I want to.
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00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:43,532
Yeah, that's what all boys say.
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00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,898
Take it off.
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00:06:44,923 --> 00:06:46,119
Okay, fine.
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00:06:48,914 --> 00:06:50,664
Uh-huh. Yeah.
197
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:51,749
Thank you.
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00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:53,918
- Yeah.
- Hey!
199
00:06:53,919 --> 00:06:55,502
Did you wear that to school?
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00:06:55,503 --> 00:06:57,079
Yeah, I thought it was cute.
201
00:06:57,104 --> 00:07:00,055
I knew I should wait for Bow
to handle things, but...
202
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,926
[Wolf howls]
203
00:07:01,927 --> 00:07:03,969
We need to talk right now.
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00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,555
This boy is trying
to take advantage of you,
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00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:09,767
and I'm the only one that's
preventing him from doing so.
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00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:13,086
Sweet Black Jesus, how ripped is he?
207
00:07:13,111 --> 00:07:15,711
Is he a high school student
or a government experiment?
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00:07:19,527 --> 00:07:21,403
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, babe.
209
00:07:21,404 --> 00:07:23,739
- How was your day?
- Oh, my day was great.
210
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,491
Let me tell you something.
I had no surgery today,
211
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:29,411
and I finally mastered
the firefly pose in yoga.
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00:07:29,412 --> 00:07:31,789
Suck it, Six-Pack Stacy.
213
00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:34,465
There is a new favorite in class. Hey.
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00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,919
Okay. Well, I'm glad
somebody had a good day
215
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:40,547
because I had to come home
and put out a fire with Diane.
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00:07:40,548 --> 00:07:42,091
Oh, no. Wait. What happened now?
217
00:07:42,092 --> 00:07:44,134
She let a boy give her a sweatshirt.
218
00:07:44,135 --> 00:07:45,261
Okay.
219
00:07:45,262 --> 00:07:46,553
Don't worry.
220
00:07:46,554 --> 00:07:49,598
- I handled it.
- How?
221
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,642
You pose like that online,
222
00:07:51,643 --> 00:07:54,436
your cuteness brings the boys
to the yard!
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00:07:54,437 --> 00:07:56,105
A boy will think that you owe him
224
00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:57,940
for every little thing
that he gives you.
225
00:07:57,941 --> 00:07:59,608
A breath mint could be the only thing
226
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,777
between you and maternity pants!
227
00:08:01,778 --> 00:08:03,445
Jason... He gave you
his sweatshirt, uh-huh,
228
00:08:03,446 --> 00:08:04,697
but I guarantee you this!
229
00:08:04,698 --> 00:08:06,156
He will be nowhere to be found
230
00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:08,450
when you're eight months
pregnant with hemorrhoids
231
00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:10,203
and ankles the size of softballs!
232
00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:12,580
Oh, you thought I was done?!
233
00:08:12,581 --> 00:08:13,914
I'm not done!
234
00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:16,875
What are you, a youth pastor in Alabama?
235
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:19,086
Dre, there is a reason
236
00:08:19,087 --> 00:08:21,046
that we talk about these things
together.
237
00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:22,798
It was an emergency.
238
00:08:22,799 --> 00:08:24,008
And you should be thanking me.
239
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:27,303
Dre, you just blew up
all of the open lines
240
00:08:27,304 --> 00:08:28,721
of communication
241
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:32,891
that we worked so hard to build
with Diane.
242
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:34,101
We need to talk to her.
243
00:08:34,102 --> 00:08:36,270
Teenagers think they're grown today,
244
00:08:36,271 --> 00:08:38,022
and they're not.
245
00:08:38,023 --> 00:08:41,775
All right, my mother came down
hard on me, and it worked.
246
00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:43,235
You're terrified of your mother.
247
00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:45,446
All Black men are terrified
of their mothers, Bow.
248
00:08:45,447 --> 00:08:47,615
That's how love works.
249
00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:50,409
While I was keeping the heat on Diane,
250
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:53,829
Olivia was keeping a different
kind of heat on Junior.
251
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:57,458
And we've reached
our next culinary destination:
252
00:08:57,459 --> 00:08:59,418
Malaysia! [Chuckles]
253
00:08:59,419 --> 00:09:03,380
I... I love curry,
and I love fish heads.
254
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:04,892
Put them together, look out!
255
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,008
[Both laugh]
256
00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:08,218
Oh, the recipe called
for seven different chilies.
257
00:09:08,219 --> 00:09:09,762
I had to go to three
different grocery stores
258
00:09:09,763 --> 00:09:11,347
just to get all the ingredients.
259
00:09:11,348 --> 00:09:12,973
You didn't have to do that.
260
00:09:12,974 --> 00:09:14,725
Anything for you, babe.
261
00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:16,352
- [Chuckles softly]
- Dig in.
262
00:09:16,353 --> 00:09:20,981
♪♪
263
00:09:20,982 --> 00:09:22,191
Is everything okay?
264
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:25,277
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no,
just savoring the aromas.
265
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:26,862
Mmm!
266
00:09:26,863 --> 00:09:27,697
Delicious.
267
00:09:27,698 --> 00:09:29,073
[Both chuckle]
268
00:09:29,074 --> 00:09:33,911
♪♪
269
00:09:33,912 --> 00:09:35,245
Mmm.
270
00:09:35,246 --> 00:09:36,705
[Chuckles]
271
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:40,042
[Slurps]
272
00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:41,710
Mmm! [Chuckles]
273
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:44,546
Ooh! You just feel the... the spices.
274
00:09:44,547 --> 00:09:45,631
Just goes right down your throat.
275
00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:46,882
I know.
276
00:09:46,883 --> 00:09:48,258
Just like fire.
277
00:09:48,259 --> 00:09:51,053
So I sent my building manager an e-mail
278
00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:53,889
asking if we can change
these blinds to curtains,
279
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:55,516
and guess what.
280
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:58,060
He said he wants all the windows
to be uniform,
281
00:09:58,061 --> 00:10:00,854
and I'm like, "We face an alley.
282
00:10:00,855 --> 00:10:03,273
Nobody's gonna see the blinds.
283
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:04,566
Nobody's gonna see the..."
284
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,860
My mouth is on fire!
285
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:09,113
What?
286
00:10:09,114 --> 00:10:10,155
Oh, my God.
287
00:10:10,156 --> 00:10:11,448
Are you okay?
288
00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:13,409
Junior, are you okay?
289
00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:14,660
Seriously?
290
00:10:14,661 --> 00:10:15,911
No!
291
00:10:15,912 --> 00:10:16,954
I'm not okay.
292
00:10:16,955 --> 00:10:18,831
It hurts so bad.
293
00:10:18,832 --> 00:10:20,582
So, so bad.
294
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,751
All of this spicy food is killing me.
295
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,878
My stomach feels like a... like a...
296
00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:27,965
like a wet paper bag
just full of hot coals.
297
00:10:27,966 --> 00:10:29,258
Well, then why have you been
letting me cook you
298
00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:30,759
all this spicy food?
299
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,554
Because you like spicy food so much.
300
00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:37,559
And... I like you so much.
301
00:10:43,106 --> 00:10:46,650
You know we don't have to agree
on everything to date, right?
302
00:10:46,651 --> 00:10:47,651
Of course I don't know that.
303
00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:48,986
Everything that I know about dating
304
00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:50,279
I've learned from watching my parents
305
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,989
and "Think Like a Man" movies.
306
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:53,615
Okay.
307
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,325
If we're going to work,
308
00:10:55,326 --> 00:10:57,870
you need to just be honest with me.
309
00:10:57,871 --> 00:11:01,874
I'm still going to like you
for who you are, okay?
310
00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:03,709
Okay.
311
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:06,003
Unless you're into Frisbee golf.
312
00:11:06,004 --> 00:11:07,671
I mean, it's just a waste
of park resources.
313
00:11:07,672 --> 00:11:11,508
♪♪
314
00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:13,177
[Knock on door]
315
00:11:13,178 --> 00:11:15,095
Honey?
316
00:11:15,096 --> 00:11:18,348
- Hi. We brought your sweatshirt back.
- Hi.
317
00:11:18,349 --> 00:11:21,059
So, we want you to know
318
00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:23,896
that you are in control of your own body
319
00:11:23,897 --> 00:11:25,856
and you can do
whatever you want with it.
320
00:11:25,857 --> 00:11:28,650
But the pictures that you're posting,
321
00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:30,778
they give people a window
322
00:11:30,779 --> 00:11:34,782
into something
that you should keep private.
323
00:11:34,783 --> 00:11:35,949
DRE: Boys thumb through Instagram
324
00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:37,576
like it's a Cheesecake Machine menu,
325
00:11:37,577 --> 00:11:39,453
and you are dressed
like a Jalapeño Popper.
326
00:11:39,454 --> 00:11:42,206
And you can dress like a
Jalapeño Popper if you want to.
327
00:11:42,207 --> 00:11:46,168
Because it is your right as a woman.
328
00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:49,338
Okay, so I have the right to do
what I did,
329
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,256
but I shouldn't have done it?
330
00:11:50,257 --> 00:11:51,548
Okay, I got it.
331
00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:54,927
Listen. [Clears throat]
332
00:11:54,928 --> 00:11:58,472
You are building your identity
as a woman.
333
00:11:58,473 --> 00:12:01,433
And you should have the freedom
to explore that
334
00:12:01,434 --> 00:12:05,020
without being tied
to the judgments of society.
335
00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:07,815
- [Sighs]
- And society will judge you.
336
00:12:07,816 --> 00:12:10,776
But I want you to remember that
337
00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:13,403
while you are ignoring the judgment.
338
00:12:13,404 --> 00:12:14,488
Does that make sense?
339
00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,114
- I guess.
- No.
340
00:12:16,115 --> 00:12:17,866
Okay, so we've handled that.
341
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,117
- What?
- Yeah. Yes.
342
00:12:19,118 --> 00:12:20,244
All right.
343
00:12:20,245 --> 00:12:21,286
There we go.
344
00:12:21,287 --> 00:12:22,830
Okay, okay, okay.
345
00:12:22,831 --> 00:12:24,373
I'll leave it alone, but you know what?
346
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:25,707
When your mama go to work,
347
00:12:25,708 --> 00:12:27,125
I'm taking the door off the hinges.
348
00:12:27,126 --> 00:12:31,046
♪♪
349
00:12:31,047 --> 00:12:32,756
- [Sighs]
- Oh, good, you're here.
350
00:12:32,757 --> 00:12:34,049
What year did America open?
351
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:35,467
1776.
352
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:37,845
Right, I knew it was definitely
before I was born.
353
00:12:37,846 --> 00:12:40,806
I just couldn't remember how far.
354
00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:42,766
You seem angrier than usual.
355
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:44,977
Mom and Dad cornered me
about that sweatshirt.
356
00:12:44,978 --> 00:12:46,812
You'd think after Dad yelled
at me for like an hour,
357
00:12:46,813 --> 00:12:48,230
we'd be done, but no.
358
00:12:48,231 --> 00:12:50,482
Here comes Mom, to yell at me
in her "quiet" way.
359
00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:52,818
She can say "sweetie"
as many times as she wants.
360
00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:53,986
We're still being yelled at.
361
00:12:53,987 --> 00:12:56,321
[Scoffs] Are you just as tired as I am
362
00:12:56,322 --> 00:12:58,073
of Mom and Dad cracking down on us?
363
00:12:58,074 --> 00:13:01,076
Yes, Dad forced me to add him
to my close friends list
364
00:13:01,077 --> 00:13:02,744
on all of my accounts
because he says he wants
365
00:13:02,745 --> 00:13:04,079
to keep an eye on things.
366
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,873
But all he ever does is put fire emojis
367
00:13:05,874 --> 00:13:07,666
underneath everything I post.
368
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,167
It's weird for your dad to say
369
00:13:09,168 --> 00:13:11,378
that your shirtless
basketball picture is fire.
370
00:13:11,379 --> 00:13:14,423
So you were half naked
and Dad said nothing?
371
00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:15,591
And Mom liked it?
372
00:13:15,592 --> 00:13:17,175
This is ridiculous.
373
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:18,927
I can't post a photo of me
wearing lipstick,
374
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,554
but you can flaunt your bird chest
375
00:13:20,555 --> 00:13:21,722
all over the Internet?
376
00:13:21,723 --> 00:13:23,181
Unh-unh. Nope. Let's go.
377
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:24,224
We've all got to have a talk.
378
00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:25,851
- Come on.
- What?
379
00:13:25,852 --> 00:13:27,728
Like an eagle or like a sparrow?
380
00:13:27,729 --> 00:13:29,063
What kind of bird are we talking?
381
00:13:29,772 --> 00:13:31,732
Mm-hmm. Hey. Good, you're here.
382
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,150
Hey, Diane, set the table.
383
00:13:33,151 --> 00:13:34,401
Do you think it's fair
you're treating me differently
384
00:13:34,402 --> 00:13:36,111
because I'm a girl?
385
00:13:36,112 --> 00:13:37,487
Okay. Fine.
386
00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:39,781
Uh, Jack, set the table.
387
00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:43,035
Diane, we do not treat you differently.
388
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,328
- You don't?
- No.
389
00:13:44,329 --> 00:13:46,038
You've seen Jack online.
390
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:47,789
He's shirtless and sweaty.
391
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:48,999
And how many lectures did he get?
392
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,917
Because I've gotten two so far.
393
00:13:50,918 --> 00:13:53,211
That was a picture
of Jack playing sports.
394
00:13:53,212 --> 00:13:54,630
Nobody is paying attention to that.
395
00:13:54,631 --> 00:13:56,340
- Really?
- Yeah.
396
00:13:56,341 --> 00:13:58,592
Because I bet Ashley Thompson
saw it and liked it, too,
397
00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:00,719
which is probably
why they've been making out
398
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,054
in the school stairwell.
399
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:03,305
Whoa!
400
00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:06,725
This is not how I wanted it to come out,
401
00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:07,644
but it is true.
402
00:14:07,645 --> 00:14:08,852
- Ooh!
- My boy!
403
00:14:08,853 --> 00:14:10,604
But you don't know that
404
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:11,938
because you're not in his business.
405
00:14:11,939 --> 00:14:13,815
We don't have to worry
about Jack as much
406
00:14:13,816 --> 00:14:16,443
because he can't get pregnant.
407
00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:18,445
But he can get someone pregnant!
408
00:14:18,446 --> 00:14:20,322
You've always said
you treat us the same,
409
00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:21,699
but you don't.
410
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,411
Hey, just to be clear,
I'm really supporting
411
00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:27,752
this whole "boys will be boys" thing
412
00:14:27,777 --> 00:14:30,708
- that we've got going on, you know?
- No. Not now.
413
00:14:33,695 --> 00:14:36,672
Obviously we are going
to talk about Diane,
414
00:14:36,673 --> 00:14:39,675
but first we need to make sure
that Jack doesn't get in
415
00:14:39,676 --> 00:14:41,593
over his head with that little
Fast Ashley.
416
00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:42,928
- Definitely.
- Mm-hmm.
417
00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:44,471
Any girl who's willing
to make out with Jack
418
00:14:44,472 --> 00:14:46,348
in the stairwell doesn't respect herself
419
00:14:46,349 --> 00:14:47,516
or the stairwell.
420
00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:49,017
Oh, my God!
421
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,936
Dre, we just did it again.
422
00:14:50,937 --> 00:14:53,105
We're coming down harder
on Ashley than Jack.
423
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,107
You know what? Maybe Ashley's father
424
00:14:55,108 --> 00:14:57,317
is having the same talk with her.
425
00:14:57,318 --> 00:14:59,111
But he's probably not around
426
00:14:59,112 --> 00:15:02,114
because his daughter was
kissing a guy in a stairwell.
427
00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:03,156
Dre.
428
00:15:03,157 --> 00:15:04,366
Look.
429
00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:06,118
I know I sound like a caveman.
430
00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:09,788
- Yeah.
- But it is my job to protect Diane.
431
00:15:09,789 --> 00:15:11,331
And I'm not going to apologize
432
00:15:11,332 --> 00:15:14,334
for treating our son
and daughter differently.
433
00:15:14,335 --> 00:15:16,128
Even if we treat them the same,
434
00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:17,963
the world is gonna treat them
differently.
435
00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:20,048
I remember when I was in high school,
436
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,800
if you were a girl and you had sex,
437
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,051
you were automatically outcast.
438
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,803
If you were a guy, you were king.
439
00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:26,847
Yeah, but back then
if you wanted to brag,
440
00:15:26,848 --> 00:15:29,015
you had to tell your friends one by one
441
00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:31,268
or meet behind T-Will's house
442
00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:32,936
while his grandmother
was grocery shopping.
443
00:15:32,937 --> 00:15:35,272
- Eww.
- But now all you have to do is post
444
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:37,488
and the entire school sees it
in minutes.
445
00:15:37,513 --> 00:15:38,525
I know.
446
00:15:38,526 --> 00:15:40,902
I believe that women should be able
447
00:15:40,903 --> 00:15:42,904
to freely express their sexuality,
448
00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:44,948
but I know that it gets exploited.
449
00:15:44,949 --> 00:15:47,617
None of this would be a problem
450
00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:49,661
if there weren't men in the world.
451
00:15:49,662 --> 00:15:51,663
- Hey!
- Yep.
452
00:15:51,664 --> 00:15:52,914
Okay, I mean, you're right,
453
00:15:52,915 --> 00:15:54,332
but I just had to say something.
454
00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:55,500
It's an unfair world.
455
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,210
Diane is fifteen years old.
456
00:15:57,211 --> 00:15:59,212
I don't want to dump all of this
on her shoulders.
457
00:15:59,213 --> 00:16:02,424
But we need to prepare her
for the world as it is,
458
00:16:02,425 --> 00:16:04,092
not the way we want it to be.
459
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:07,053
I know it's hard
being the mother of a daughter
460
00:16:07,054 --> 00:16:09,639
in a patriarchal world.
461
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,601
Yes, I know some stuff.
462
00:16:12,602 --> 00:16:14,311
Well, it could be worse.
463
00:16:14,312 --> 00:16:16,646
I could be Ashley's mom.
464
00:16:16,647 --> 00:16:17,898
Damn it.
465
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:19,149
I just did it again.
466
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:23,278
♪♪
467
00:16:23,279 --> 00:16:25,739
Ah, the Prince of Lies.
468
00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:27,616
[Laughs] How'd it go, babe?
469
00:16:27,617 --> 00:16:30,744
I told Olivia the truth
about how her spicy food
470
00:16:30,745 --> 00:16:33,121
rushes through me
like a hot mountain spring.
471
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,040
Oh, sweetie,
472
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:38,168
I'm so sorry
to hear about you and Olivia.
473
00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:41,254
No, Grandma, when someone
really cares about you,
474
00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:44,591
you can tell them who you are
and they'll still be there.
475
00:16:44,592 --> 00:16:47,219
Oh, so I'm just supposed
to tell the love of my life
476
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,222
that "our" song...
the one we got married to...
477
00:16:50,223 --> 00:16:53,308
is the same one I had
with my last boyfriend
478
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:54,726
and the boyfriend before that
479
00:16:54,727 --> 00:16:56,394
and the boyfriend before that
480
00:16:56,395 --> 00:16:58,146
and the boyfriend before that?
481
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,357
"Let's Stay Together" was
your song with all those guys?
482
00:17:00,358 --> 00:17:04,027
You find a good one, you stick with it.
483
00:17:04,028 --> 00:17:07,697
I don't want to take the chance
of hurting your grandfather.
484
00:17:07,698 --> 00:17:08,782
Trust me, Grandma.
485
00:17:08,783 --> 00:17:11,993
You're going to feel a lot better
if you tell him the truth.
486
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,913
Okay, baby.
487
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:16,373
So now that you're smelling yourself,
488
00:17:16,374 --> 00:17:18,208
you think you can come out here
and talk to me
489
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,961
like you're the second coming
of Black Jesus?
490
00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:22,712
I put diapers on you, boy.
491
00:17:22,713 --> 00:17:24,297
- Go on, get out of here.
- All right.
492
00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:27,384
♪♪
493
00:17:27,385 --> 00:17:29,594
Long, lanky ass.
494
00:17:29,595 --> 00:17:32,347
No matter how many years
we've been doing it,
495
00:17:32,348 --> 00:17:36,184
we keep finding there's more
and more to being parents.
496
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,478
Uh, you ordered pizza?
497
00:17:38,479 --> 00:17:39,729
Well, you failed as parents,
498
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:41,148
so we thought we'd treat ourselves.
499
00:17:41,149 --> 00:17:42,607
- Mm-hmm.
- DRE: Huh, that's fair.
500
00:17:42,608 --> 00:17:46,486
Ah, as you know, this wasn't
our finest day as parents.
501
00:17:46,487 --> 00:17:47,821
And that's saying a lot
502
00:17:47,822 --> 00:17:49,656
because you once left us on a ski lift.
503
00:17:49,657 --> 00:17:51,741
Okay, and I know you guys are twins
504
00:17:51,742 --> 00:17:53,785
and are used to being treated the same.
505
00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:55,871
- Mm-hmm.
- But there are gonna be times
506
00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:57,330
where we're gonna talk to you
differently
507
00:17:57,331 --> 00:17:58,415
because you're getting older
508
00:17:58,416 --> 00:17:59,833
and going through different things.
509
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:03,253
Yes, and, Diane,
it is so much harder on women,
510
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:04,504
especially on the Internet.
511
00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:05,797
- Yeah, way hard.
- Mm-hmm.
512
00:18:05,798 --> 00:18:07,841
So I advise you not to read any comments
513
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:10,635
on any of those apps or websites ever.
514
00:18:10,636 --> 00:18:13,013
And we promise that you will both get
515
00:18:13,014 --> 00:18:15,640
the same support
516
00:18:15,641 --> 00:18:17,767
and the same honest information from us.
517
00:18:17,768 --> 00:18:19,102
- Yeah.
- Okay?
518
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,854
- Thanks.
- Okay.
519
00:18:20,855 --> 00:18:22,480
And when it can be the same,
520
00:18:22,481 --> 00:18:23,565
it will be the same.
521
00:18:23,566 --> 00:18:24,816
- Mm-hmm.
- All right?
522
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:27,235
For instance, you're both grounded!
523
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,570
[Both laugh]
524
00:18:28,571 --> 00:18:30,280
- What?
- I don't understand. What do you mean?
525
00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,574
Did you think that we forgot
526
00:18:32,575 --> 00:18:35,452
that you lied to us
about a fake account?
527
00:18:35,453 --> 00:18:39,664
No, you, young lady, cannot
leave this house for two weeks!
528
00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:41,374
For w... No! What?
529
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:44,211
And you, my son, what are you doing
530
00:18:44,212 --> 00:18:46,046
tramping around the school campus
531
00:18:46,047 --> 00:18:47,797
- like some trollop?
- Yeah.
532
00:18:47,798 --> 00:18:49,174
What are you trying to do,
get a reputation?
533
00:18:49,175 --> 00:18:52,163
- [Scoffs]
- You get two weeks as well!
534
00:18:52,188 --> 00:18:54,771
- [Both laugh]
- What?!
535
00:18:54,861 --> 00:18:55,871
Bam!
536
00:18:55,974 --> 00:18:57,974
Sometimes you get it wrong,
537
00:18:57,975 --> 00:19:01,603
but, man, parenting feels so good
538
00:19:01,783 --> 00:19:03,109
when you get it right.
539
00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:08,735
[Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" plays]
540
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:11,363
♪ Let's stay together ♪
541
00:19:11,364 --> 00:19:13,156
Junior, what are you up to?
542
00:19:13,157 --> 00:19:14,199
What?
543
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,534
- It's just your favorite song.
- Yeah.
544
00:19:16,535 --> 00:19:18,723
Sung by your favorite man.
545
00:19:18,748 --> 00:19:20,986
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
546
00:19:21,011 --> 00:19:22,874
[Laughs]
547
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:25,877
♪ Whatever you want to do ♪
548
00:19:25,878 --> 00:19:27,837
Sing, baby.
549
00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:32,300
♪ Is all right with me ♪
550
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,052
Yeah.
551
00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:40,018
♪ 'Cause you make me feel so brand new ♪
552
00:19:40,043 --> 00:19:41,685
All right, all right, Earl.
553
00:19:41,686 --> 00:19:43,103
Come on, now. You don't have to do that.
554
00:19:43,104 --> 00:19:45,939
All right, baby, look,
I know I'm no Al Green,
555
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,440
but I'm a little Al Jarreau. You know?
556
00:19:47,441 --> 00:19:48,900
- Sit down, honey.
- Hmm?
557
00:19:48,901 --> 00:19:50,860
I need to get something off my chest.
558
00:19:50,861 --> 00:19:51,945
Is everything all right?
559
00:19:51,946 --> 00:19:53,363
[Sighs]
560
00:19:53,364 --> 00:19:55,907
Okay.
561
00:19:55,908 --> 00:19:58,034
Earl.
562
00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:04,207
Our song hasn't only been "our" song.
563
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:09,963
It's been my song with a lot of others.
564
00:20:09,964 --> 00:20:12,090
Now, I've kept that secret for years,
565
00:20:12,091 --> 00:20:15,510
but Junior felt I should be
honest with you.
566
00:20:15,511 --> 00:20:18,680
Well, at least that explains
why he said,
567
00:20:18,681 --> 00:20:22,934
"Hey, Pops,
come put the moves on Grandma."
568
00:20:22,935 --> 00:20:24,894
I'm sorry.
569
00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:26,396
I thought it was harmless.
570
00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:28,773
Baby, I don't care about that.
571
00:20:28,774 --> 00:20:32,736
I can't blame you for loving a classic.
572
00:20:32,737 --> 00:20:37,032
And [Chuckles] I suppose
I also can't blame you
573
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:39,534
for wanting a little consistency
in your romantic life.
574
00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:41,786
Now, I know I haven't always been
575
00:20:41,787 --> 00:20:43,830
the best provider of that for you.
576
00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:47,250
You're the most consistent thing
in my life, Earl.
577
00:20:47,251 --> 00:20:49,169
For better or worse.
578
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:50,837
Mm.
579
00:20:50,838 --> 00:20:52,672
Well, let's keep aiming for better.
580
00:20:52,673 --> 00:20:54,299
[Laughs]
581
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,176
I love you.
582
00:20:55,177 --> 00:20:57,135
I love you.
583
00:20:57,136 --> 00:21:00,847
And while we're getting things
off our chests, um...
584
00:21:00,848 --> 00:21:01,973
No, no.
585
00:21:01,974 --> 00:21:05,352
Just hold on. Let me say this, now.
586
00:21:05,353 --> 00:21:07,103
You know, for the first
five years we were together...
587
00:21:07,104 --> 00:21:09,147
Yes?
588
00:21:09,148 --> 00:21:11,399
...I thought your name was Ruthie.
589
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,610
I did.
590
00:21:13,611 --> 00:21:15,570
- You know, if you say it like R...
- Oh, my God.
591
00:21:15,571 --> 00:21:17,081
- Say it fast. Say it fast.
- Y-You know what?
592
00:21:17,106 --> 00:21:19,808
- Ruby, Ruth. Ruby, Ruthie.
- You might want to shut up like right now.
593
00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:20,950
Just let it go.
594
00:21:20,951 --> 00:21:23,130
Let it go 'cause I heard you
scream that one night.
42486
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