Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:12,320
Yeah, baby.
2
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,670
Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
3
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:40,430
l may just be a small-town
FBI agent-slash-single mother...
4
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,510
...but I'm still tough and sexy.
5
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:48,690
Well, Miss Normous, shall we shag now...
6
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,100
...or shag later?
7
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,360
Oh, Austin, behave.
8
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,160
Hey, Powers.
9
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,160
You better watch your frigging self...
10
00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:06,750
...because this is one doctor
who does make house calls.
11
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,960
Right, Mini Me?
12
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:14,380
Hey, assholes.
13
00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:20,890
I'm right over here. I'm Mini Me.
Come and get me.
14
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,060
And cut.
15
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,060
That's a cut, everybody.
16
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,270
Moving on. Check the gate, please.
17
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,070
So, Austin, what'd you think
of the opening credits?
18
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,410
Well, l can't believe
Sir Steven Spielberg...
19
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,910
...the grooviest filmmaker
in the history of cinema...
20
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,080
...is making a movie about my life.
21
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,620
Very shagadelic, baby. Yeah.
22
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,920
Having said that,
l do have some thoughts.
23
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,590
Really?
24
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,510
Uh, my friend here
thinks it's fine the way it is.
25
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,680
Well, no offense, Sir Stevie...
26
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:07,680
...but you've got to have mojo, baby.
Yeah.
27
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,430
Hit it.
28
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,510
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quincy Jones.
29
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,680
Yeah.
30
00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,390
This is where the movie
gets its mojo, baby.
31
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,770
Groovy, yes.
32
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,330
Quiet, everybody.
Music video, take two.
33
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,160
It's Britney Spears.
34
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:49,890
Oops, l did it again, baby. Yeah.
35
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,270
l love you!
36
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,790
Yeah.
37
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,770
Welcome back, Herr Doctor.
How was space?
38
00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:40,770
Space was cool. Wasn't it, Mini Me?
39
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,560
-Mm-hm.
-Yeah.
40
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,730
Dr. Evil, while you were in space...
41
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,490
...I created a way for us to make
huge sums of legitimate money...
42
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:52,240
...and still maintain the ethics
and the business practices...
43
00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:54,240
...of an evil organization.
44
00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:58,830
l have turned us into a talent agency:
The Hollywood Talent Agency.
45
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000
-Really?
-By charging A-list clients 9 percent...
46
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:05,590
...rather than the traditional 10 percent,
we've been able to sign such stars...
47
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,300
-...as George Clooney...
-Ooh.
48
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,170
...Julia Roberts...
-Hey.
49
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:10,930
...and Leo DiCaprio.
50
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,430
Leo.
51
00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:17,350
And the best part of the whole scheme
is we all get our own assistants.
52
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,350
Hi, I'm Number Three.
53
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,310
Whoa!
54
00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:24,610
I’m really excited to be part of the team
here at HTA.
55
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,440
Very impressive, Number Two...
56
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,530
...but I finally have the perfect plan.
57
00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:34,320
In the '70s, there lived
a Dutch metallurgical hedonist...
58
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:35,990
...by the name of Johann van der Smut.
59
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:38,540
He loved gold so much...
60
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:42,000
...he even lost his genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
61
00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,080
Hence the name...
62
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,630
...Goldmember.
63
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,960
He invented a cold-fusion power unit...
64
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:52,050
...for a "tractor beam"--
65
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,800
"Tractor beam"...
66
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:57,350
...powerful enough
to pull a meteor to Earth.
67
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,970
The meteor was called...
68
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,890
..."Midas 22."
69
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,060
It’s made of solid gold.
70
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,690
Is he sleeping?
71
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,570
Well, that's okay.
72
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,280
l guess Mini Me won't get any...
73
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,110
...chocolate!
74
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,240
You want down, Mini Me?
Use your words like a big boy clone.
75
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,660
He's okay.
76
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:24,920
Here's the chocolate.
77
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,250
It’s from Bruges. That's in Belgium.
78
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,630
That's where Daddy's from. Yeah.
79
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,760
Check out Mini Me.
80
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:40,600
Yeah. He's gone mental
on account of the chocolate.
81
00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:43,430
It’s like fricking catnip for clones.
82
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,810
-Your chair, Dr. Evil.
-Thank you.
83
00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:48,610
Whoa!
84
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,950
Thanks. Skedaddle. Right.
85
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,700
You know, when you have kids...
86
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,660
...I think you're gonna find
that all kids are different, eh?
87
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,470
For example, Mini Me loves chocolate.
88
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:15,970
Scotty don't.
89
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,300
-What, l like chocolate fine, l just--
-Scotty don't.
90
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,640
Well, this is very familiar. Hang on,
let me do what l do. "Uh, would you stop?"
91
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,480
How about I what?
92
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,390
What are you...?
93
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,310
l don't even-- Honestly, isn't this--?
94
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,020
How about you don't?
Ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't.
95
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:36,740
Ahem. Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time
that you finished unveiling your plan.
96
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,320
Yes, thank you, Number Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is--
97
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:43,240
-Scotty don't.
-Come on. You're such a lame-ass.
98
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,670
Oh.
-Oh.
99
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:52,380
-Oh.
-Oh.
100
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,630
Yeah.
-Oh, this is...
101
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,090
Yeah, yeah.
-Oh, so we're...
102
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,430
You know, this is causing me
serious psychological harm.
103
00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,350
l don't know. Who am l?
104
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:03,640
Fine. You know what?
l would love some chocolate.
105
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:04,970
Here you go.
106
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,810
Thank you. Perfect.
107
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,610
Heel, Mini Me.
108
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,360
Heel.
109
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:19,280
Come on. Got me a marlin. Yeah.
110
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,370
-You okay, Mini Me?
-Mm-hm.
111
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,120
Yeah? Did l pull too hard?
l don't want to hurt you.
112
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,120
-Dr. Evil.
-Yeah?
113
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,040
What does Goldmember's plan
have to do with us?
114
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:34,800
Our early attempts at a tractor beam
went through several preparations.
115
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,050
Preparations A through G were a failure.
But now, ladies and gentlemen...
116
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:43,760
...we finally have a working tractor beam
which we shall call:
117
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,560
"Preparation H."
118
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:49,520
What?
119
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,730
Why don't you just call it
"Operation Ass Cream," you ass.
120
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,520
I’m sorry, did you want some ice cream?
121
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:58,900
Yes. I'd love some chocolate ass cream.
122
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,360
Perhaps later.
123
00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:05,030
-Dr. Evil, l love your plan.
-Yeah, eh?
124
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,040
Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan.
125
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,500
Yes, Frau, on the whole,
l think Preparation H feels good.
126
00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:16,630
-What is it now?
-No, nothing. You know what, I agree.
127
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,010
Preparation H does feel good on the hole.
128
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:24,800
Well, I’m glad we're sprechen Sie
the same lingitty, ja.
129
00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:26,220
Ladies and gentlemen...
130
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:30,770
...using my time machine,
l shall travel back to 1975...
131
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,850
...pick up Goldmember
and bring him back to the future.
132
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,110
And the best part of this plan is...
133
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,440
...no one can stop me.
134
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,450
Not even...
135
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:43,990
...Austin Powers.
136
00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:57,130
Not so fast.
137
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,210
You're surrounded, Dr. Evil.
138
00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:02,550
Shit.
139
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:08,810
Dr. Evil, the World Court
sentences you to 400 years.
140
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,470
Do you have anything to say?
141
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,190
No, but l think Mini Me does.
142
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,610
Order! l will have order!
143
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,570
Looks like two eggs in a hanky.
144
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,530
The criminal genius known as Dr. Evil
and his clone...
145
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,040
...were sentenced today
at the World Organization.
146
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,330
For his efforts, Austin Powers...
147
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,540
...son of England's most famous spy,
Nigel Powers...
148
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:39,170
...will be knighted by the queen
at Buckingham Palace.
149
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,340
Arise, Sir Austin Powers.
150
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,970
Thank you, Your Majesty.
151
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:51,350
-Your father must be very proud of you.
-Oh, yeah.
152
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,850
Come on, Dad, stand up and take a bow.
153
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,480
Daddy?
154
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,740
Dad?
155
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,510
Daddy
156
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:28,220
Daddy wasn't there
157
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,220
Daddy
158
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,440
Daddy wasn't there
159
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,900
To take me to the fair
160
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:44,860
It seems he doesn't care
161
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,740
Daddy wasn't there
162
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,200
When I was first baptized
When I was criticized
163
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,540
When I was ostracized
When I was Jazzercised
164
00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:58,040
Steak and kidney pies
One-hour Martinize
165
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,880
When I was circumcised
166
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,250
Daddy wasn't there
167
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,380
To take me to the fair
168
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,880
To change my underwear
169
00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,220
Daddy wasn't there
170
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,180
"Daddy Wasn't There." Peace.
171
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,600
l am a sexy beast.
172
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,770
Yes.
173
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,230
Bangs. Yes, how’s it going?
174
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,110
The robot. Haven't seen that in a while.
175
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:29,400
It’s Austin Powers! You so funny.
-Well, you know.
176
00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:32,990
Also, very sexiful. Can l have autograph?
177
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,580
Of course. Your name is...?
178
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,290
Fook Mi.
179
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,380
Oh, behave, baby. Yes.
180
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,960
-Now, your name is...?
-Fook Mi.
181
00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:45,800
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
182
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:50,220
Fook Mi. Like this.
183
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,180
Oh, l see!
184
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,640
Your name is Fook Mi.
185
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,970
-You want drink?
-Yes, of course.
186
00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,850
You know, l have a private bar in the back
that you're more than welcome to use--
187
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,730
Here you go.
188
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,110
Fook Mi, that was fast.
189
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,320
Fook Yu.
190
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,650
You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom...
191
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,110
...and l don't care who knows it.
192
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:12,860
Austin.
193
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:18,120
This is my twin sister. Her name Fook Yu.
194
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:19,790
Fook Yu.
195
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,460
Fook Mi.
196
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:22,670
See?
197
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,500
Twins. Twins.
198
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,880
Twins. Yes.
199
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,680
We're going to see the twins. Yes.
200
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,980
l also think Austin Powers very sexiful.
201
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,520
We think you are very gravy, baby.
202
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:44,560
Do we make you sleepy?
203
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,520
Well, you make me many things,
but sleepy's not one of them.
204
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,900
We give you top-secret massage.
205
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:55,410
Yes, top-secret massage, baby.
206
00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,750
Sorry about that.
207
00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:02,500
l swear to God that never happens,
heh-heh-heh.
208
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,540
Yes, hold on a tic.
209
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,340
Okay....
210
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:13,550
Okay. Now, where were we, babies? Yes.
211
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,100
Ah, Austin. I’m sorry to interrupt.
212
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,390
Twins, Basil. Twins.
213
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,020
Austin, it's your father.
214
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,230
-Bye-bye.
-What?
215
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,070
-Bye.
-He's been kidnapped.
216
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,400
Very heavy, man.
217
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:36,700
Oh. So that's why my father
wasn't at the knighting ceremony.
218
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,280
Well, no, actually.
219
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:41,240
He was kidnapped
after you were knighted.
220
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:42,620
Ah.
221
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,750
He was last seen on his yacht.
222
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,420
Ah, yes, the HMS Shag-at-Sea.
223
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,670
Exactly. Just take a look.
224
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,000
Gentlemen, fall in.
225
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,010
Austin, these men were assigned
to guard your father.
226
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:57,550
Okay, chaps. Chins up, trousers down.
227
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,510
l think we may have found a clue.
228
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:06,060
Cor blimey. All your privates
have had their privates painted gold.
229
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,690
How bizarre.
230
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,860
Imagine, gilded tallywhackers...
231
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,150
...golden wedding tackle,
14-karat trouser snakes--
232
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,110
-That's enough.
-Okay.
233
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,910
Basil, there's only one person
in the world...
234
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:22,160
...who truly understands
the psychology of a madman.
235
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:25,120
Dr. Evil.
236
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,900
I've been expecting you, Mr. Powers.
237
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,820
My father is missing.
238
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:54,650
Yes, I heard. How ironic.
239
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:58,740
You finally caught me,
yet now you need me more than ever.
240
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:02,580
But then again, you've always needed me,
haven't you, Mr. Powers?
241
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:06,410
Remember when I told you
we're not so different, you and I?
242
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,920
We're not so different, you and l.
243
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,750
See? l did say that. Mm-hm.
244
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,760
Very clever. Now, who has my father?
245
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,170
Uh-oh!
246
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,800
Someone has some daddy issues.
247
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,930
Nothing could be my father from the truth.
248
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,350
Ooh! You said, "my father."
249
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,680
-No, l dadn't.
-Hey-oh!
250
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,100
Didn't. Did not.
251
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,350
She-ba.
252
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,940
-For me, this is a dad issue.
-Ha--
253
00:19:32,110 --> 00:19:33,190
Dead issue. Dead dad.
254
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,110
Deadbeat dad. Daddy didn't love me.
255
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:41,410
It seems the knighting ceremony
wasn't the only time...
256
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:44,700
...your daddy let you down.
257
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,080
Remember that day at the academy?
258
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,920
Think.
259
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,460
It was graduation.
260
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:04,760
Yeah, baby, yeah.
Do l make you horny, baby?
261
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,560
Oh, yes, that's the spot. Right there.
262
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,100
You're a naughty one. Yes, you are.
263
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,350
Hello, vicar. Crake!
264
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,520
Have you ever heard of knocking, man?
265
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,480
Right.
266
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,240
We were just getting started.
267
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,110
Bye, love.
268
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,160
Don't forget, Master Powers,
later you have a brief oral exam.
269
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:27,450
Well, l hope it's mostly oral and not too...
270
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,790
...brief, baby.
271
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,420
You know, "brief" and "oral exam"....
272
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,670
Marks are in, lads.
273
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,340
It looks Like Master Evil
is the top contender...
274
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,100
...for this year's
International Man of Mystery.
275
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,680
He's number one in the class.
276
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,770
Whoop-de-do, Basil.
277
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:52,850
Hey, everybody, I'm number one.
278
00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,190
Who cares?
279
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,690
Hello, I’m Number Two.
280
00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:58,610
Nice to meet you, Number Two...
281
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:03,110
...but now I’m going to be named
this year's International Man of Mystery.
282
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,610
Yeah, right.
283
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,000
Shut your gob.
284
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,370
Ow!
285
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,300
Who throws a cupcake? Honestly.
286
00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:24,970
And now it's time to award
our greatest honor.
287
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:29,060
This year's International
Man of Mystery is...
288
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,770
...Austin Powers.
289
00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:34,560
Well done, Austin.
290
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,860
Jolly good.
-Top notch.
291
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:44,740
We're proud of you.
-Very well done, indeed.
292
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,990
It’s always been my dream
to win this award, just like my dad.
293
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,160
And I’m glad he could be here.
294
00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:55,620
Stand up, Dad. Take a bow.
295
00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:03,340
Dad?
296
00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:07,510
Daddy?
297
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,230
Boo-frickity-hoo.
298
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,030
l had the best grades in the class
and I didn't get diddlysquat.
299
00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,610
-Here we go.
-Tell me, Mr. Powers...
300
00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:27,530
...what did you find on those sailors?
301
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:32,200
A golden surprise, perhaps?
302
00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:35,370
How did--? Yes.
303
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:39,540
All the sailors had their
meat and two veg painted gold.
304
00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:43,130
Yes, it's the distinctive calling card
of a criminal mastermind.
305
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,420
The aptly named...
306
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,970
...Goldmember.
307
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,140
How can I find this Goldmember?
308
00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:56,730
Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.
309
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,400
Yes, squid pro row.
310
00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:05,900
I'll give you Goldmember, you give me
a transfer to a regular prison...
311
00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:09,660
...so that l could be with
my beloved Mini Me.
312
00:23:09,870 --> 00:23:13,120
Okay, I'll get you a transfer
to a regular prison.
313
00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:14,660
Now, where's Goldmember?
314
00:23:14,830 --> 00:23:17,080
Not where, Mr. Powers...
315
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,670
...but when.
316
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:23,590
1975. Studio 69 Disco. New York City.
Corner of 69th and 8th.
317
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:26,170
You go now, Mr. Powers.
318
00:23:26,380 --> 00:23:28,550
Fly, fly.
319
00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:37,810
I’ll get it.
320
00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:48,190
Instead of hiding your father
in some remote location...
321
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,950
...Goldmember is hiding him in 1975.
322
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,410
So our engineers
have crafted this vehicle...
323
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:56,750
...to time-travel to the '70s.
324
00:23:56,910 --> 00:24:00,460
Smashing, Basil. A pimpmobile.
325
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:03,630
Oh, yes, yes.
l knew it would tickle your fancy.
326
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,920
What can l say? Look.
327
00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:07,130
Cough.
328
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,720
Here we go, 1975.
329
00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:12,970
Good luck, Austin.
330
00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:14,970
1975!
331
00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:17,470
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
332
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,020
Solid Gold
333
00:25:02,850 --> 00:25:05,150
Solid Gold
334
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,690
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
335
00:25:08,860 --> 00:25:11,570
It's solid gold, baby
336
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,330
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
337
00:25:17,490 --> 00:25:20,500
It's solid gold, baby
338
00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,290
Yeah
339
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:24,540
He's got the Midas touch
340
00:25:24,710 --> 00:25:26,330
But he touched it too much
341
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:30,880
Hey, Goldmember
342
00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,880
He's got a golden pad
343
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,970
He's super bad
344
00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:39,560
Hey, Goldmember
345
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,890
Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to Studio 69.
346
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:45,900
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen.
347
00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:49,440
It’s Goldmember!
348
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,950
Hey, everybody, I am from Holland.
349
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,710
Isn't that weird? Yes. Ha, ha.
350
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:07,330
He's got the Midas touch
351
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,380
But he touched it too much
352
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:11,590
Hey, Goldmember
-Yeah
353
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,760
Hey, Goldmember
354
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,590
You're getting' down tonight
355
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,760
Ow!
-You're dynamite
356
00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:19,260
Hey, Goldmember
357
00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:22,350
-Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
358
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,600
'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
Uh-huh
359
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:26,770
He likes it, uh-huh
Uh-huh
360
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940
Goldmember
-Goldmember
361
00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:31,190
He loves it
-He loves it
362
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,360
'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
363
00:26:33,530 --> 00:26:35,280
-He likes it, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
364
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:37,490
Goldmember
-Goldmember
365
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:39,490
He loves it
-He loves it
366
00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:41,700
He's got the Midas touch
367
00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:43,950
He touched it too much
368
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,790
Hey, Goldmember
369
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,960
Hey, Goldmember
-Goldmember
370
00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,790
He's from the Netherlands
371
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,130
-It's where he learned to dance
-Hey, Goldmember
372
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:55,170
-Gold, Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
373
00:26:55,340 --> 00:26:57,300
Hey, Goldmember
374
00:26:57,470 --> 00:27:00,180
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
375
00:27:00,390 --> 00:27:03,390
It's solid gold, baby
376
00:27:03,810 --> 00:27:06,810
Goldmember's so solid
-It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
377
00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:08,900
It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
378
00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:12,320
-It's gold
-It's solid gold, baby
379
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,820
His member's so gold
380
00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:17,490
Yes, it is, yeah
381
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,790
Well, if it isn't Austin Powers.
382
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,000
I’m sorry?
383
00:27:29,170 --> 00:27:32,420
You got a lot of nerve dragging
your jive white ass in here.
384
00:27:32,590 --> 00:27:35,000
l don't believe we've met.
385
00:27:35,670 --> 00:27:37,630
It’s me. Foxxy!
386
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,130
Foxxy Cleopatra!
387
00:27:39,550 --> 00:27:41,180
Long time, no see.
388
00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:43,680
-Oh.
-Stop!
389
00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:46,020
We can't be seen talking to each other,
you dig?
390
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,600
I’m using this cat as a distraction.
391
00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:50,350
l get it. Yes, very clever.
392
00:27:51,230 --> 00:27:52,690
First things first.
393
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:55,690
Ow! Ouch-kabibble!
394
00:27:55,860 --> 00:27:59,700
Eight years and no phone call?
Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra!
395
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,200
Where have you been?
396
00:28:01,370 --> 00:28:03,410
Listen, Foxxy.
397
00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:06,790
l just want you to know
l never intended to hurt you, baby.
398
00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:09,710
Well, all I know is...
399
00:28:09,870 --> 00:28:12,420
...Mama only got a taste of honey...
400
00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:15,300
...but she wanted the whole beehive.
401
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,550
Oh, beehive.
402
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,880
Yes, "beehive."
403
00:28:21,050 --> 00:28:23,300
You always knew how to make me smile.
404
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:26,390
Well, you know, it's a gift, really. l, um--
405
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,890
Ugh, what am I doing?
406
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,060
Foxxy, what are you doing
in Goldmember's club?
407
00:28:32,060 --> 00:28:33,230
I’m undercover.
408
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,070
About a year ago,
my partner at the bureau was killed.
409
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,740
And that jive-ass turkey Goldmember
is the prime suspect.
410
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,240
Ow!
411
00:28:43,070 --> 00:28:45,530
Your father's in the back room,
under heavy guard.
412
00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,540
-Thanks, Foxxy.
-Austin! Good luck.
413
00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:06,260
Oh!
414
00:29:06,430 --> 00:29:08,260
-Dad!
-Hello, son.
415
00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:11,060
Just overpowering my guards. Heh, heh.
416
00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:13,600
I’m here to rescue you. Come quickly.
417
00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:16,480
I’ve got a better idea.
Why don't you rescue me in about...
418
00:29:16,650 --> 00:29:18,940
...what, seven or eight minutes, eh?
Ha, ha.
419
00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:22,780
Oh, knock it off.
l don't want to see my dad on the job.
420
00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:23,950
Come on, let's go.
421
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,780
Okay. I’m sorry. I'm sorry, girls.
-No.
422
00:29:26,950 --> 00:29:29,450
I’ve got to go, it's my boy. Hold on.
423
00:29:31,620 --> 00:29:34,000
-What's wrong with your neck?
-l took a Viagra.
424
00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:36,540
It got stuck in my throat.
I’ve had a stiff neck for hours.
425
00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:37,960
l thank you.
426
00:29:39,510 --> 00:29:42,010
Listen, Dad, if you are gonna
talk about naughty things...
427
00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:43,840
...in front of these American girls...
428
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,090
...then at least speak "English" English.
429
00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:48,680
All right, my son.
430
00:29:48,850 --> 00:29:51,470
l could've had it away
with this cracking Judy, my old china.
431
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,480
Are you telling pork pies
and a bag of tripe?
432
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,310
Because if you are feeling quiggly,
why not just have a J. Arthur?
433
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,560
-What, Billy No-Mates?
-Too right, youth.
434
00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:01,280
Don't you remember the din-din
with the grotty Scottish bint?
435
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,440
Oh, the one that was all
sixes and sevens?
436
00:30:03,610 --> 00:30:07,070
The trouble and strife of the Morris dancer
that lived up the apples and pears.
437
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,870
Yes, yes, she was the barrister
that became a bobby in a lorry...
438
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:13,910
...with a Gatling gun
in and above St. Regis...
439
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,210
...tea kettle.
440
00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:16,580
Yes.
-Then she...
441
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,000
Shat on a turtle.
442
00:30:19,170 --> 00:30:23,010
-Oh, God, we had some good times, eh?
-We had some good times, eh?
443
00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:25,630
-Wonderful times, we had.
-Good times, yeah.
444
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,100
We had some good, uh...
445
00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:31,470
...times.
446
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,850
Welcome to 1975...
447
00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,440
...Austin Powers and father.
448
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,360
Excuse me while l change.
The roller boogie has made me sweaty.
449
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,020
Yeah, sweaty.
450
00:30:42,190 --> 00:30:43,820
You see, Mr. Powers...
451
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,580
...I love gold.
452
00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:52,700
The look of it, the taste of it...
453
00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:55,620
...the smell of it, the texture.
454
00:30:55,790 --> 00:30:57,500
l love gold so much...
455
00:30:57,670 --> 00:31:01,960
...that I even lost my genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
456
00:31:02,630 --> 00:31:04,550
Hence the name...
457
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,630
...Goldmember.
458
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,560
We are both swingers, you see? Ha, ha.
459
00:31:17,730 --> 00:31:20,230
You have a tight body. Yes.
460
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,230
l see that from your tight pants.
461
00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:26,030
Yes, you are tight like a tiger.
462
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,360
Would you like a smoke and a pancake?
463
00:31:28,530 --> 00:31:31,410
-A what?
-A smoke and a pancake.
464
00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,740
You know, flapjack and a cigarette?
Hmm?
465
00:31:34,910 --> 00:31:36,910
All right. Cigar and a waffle?
466
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,250
No? Pipe and a crepe?
467
00:31:39,420 --> 00:31:42,080
No? Bong and a blintz?
-No.
468
00:31:42,250 --> 00:31:45,210
Ah, well. Then there is no pleasing you.
469
00:31:45,380 --> 00:31:47,090
That's not right.
470
00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:50,130
Ooh, hello. What have we here?
471
00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:51,800
That's a keeper. Yes.
472
00:31:51,970 --> 00:31:54,600
Put it in the skin box, please.
With the others.
473
00:31:54,770 --> 00:31:58,100
-I’m peeling.
-Oh, that’s just disgusting.
474
00:31:58,270 --> 00:31:59,940
Quickly. Quickly. Thank you.
475
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:01,270
Save me from myself.
476
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,560
You're insane, Goldmember.
477
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,780
And that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, l like it.
478
00:32:07,950 --> 00:32:10,280
KC and the Sunshine Band.
479
00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:13,740
All right, Goldmember,
don't play the laughing boy.
480
00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:16,950
There are only two things
l can't stand in this world:
481
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,330
People who are intolerant
of other people's cultures...
482
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:23,630
...and the Dutch.
-What?
483
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,970
Take the father away.
484
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:35,560
Dutch-hater. And now, ha, ha,
it is time to say goodbye.
485
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,810
Dr. Evil's orders.
486
00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,310
Which for you is bad news, bears.
487
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,560
Walter Matthau.
488
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:43,980
Shazam.
489
00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:46,690
Up yours, jive turkey.
490
00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:48,650
-Traitor.
-Ugh!
491
00:32:48,820 --> 00:32:51,110
Heh-heh-heh. Yes, the gun.
Good, very good.
492
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,820
2002.
493
00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,490
They're taking my father
to the time machine.
494
00:32:56,660 --> 00:32:59,540
The say-what machine?
-Come on, now. Ha, ha.
495
00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:01,250
No!
-This way, sugar.
496
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,720
That was close, Foxxy. l owe you one.
497
00:33:13,890 --> 00:33:17,970
Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office.
It’s a microfilm. It may be a clue.
498
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:20,810
-Smashing.
-l want to go to the future with you.
499
00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:24,020
We can catch Goldmember together.
l owe it to my partner.
500
00:33:24,190 --> 00:33:27,150
l should warn you, Foxxy,
2002 is very different.
501
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,190
Well, heh, the future
better get ready for me.
502
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,610
Because I’m Foxxy Cleopatra
and I'm a whole lot of woman.
503
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,370
2002, here we come.
504
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,800
All visitations limited to five minutes.
505
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,220
No spitting in the visitors' room.
506
00:33:57,220 --> 00:33:58,720
Herr Doctor...
507
00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:00,560
...I have some news.
508
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,350
-It’s your son.
-Oh.
509
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,390
He wants to take over
the family business.
510
00:34:05,150 --> 00:34:06,900
Scotty does?
511
00:34:07,060 --> 00:34:10,110
Oh, he’s gotten so evil,
he has even started losing his hair.
512
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,690
l know, it's sweet.
513
00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:14,900
Oh, he just wants to make you proud,
Herr Doctor.
514
00:34:15,070 --> 00:34:17,450
After all, it’s hard on the boy
not having a father.
515
00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:21,740
You know, first you were frozen,
then you were in space, now you're in jail.
516
00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:24,540
Well, don't tell me he feels neglected.
517
00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:27,540
l was adopted by fricking Belgians, eh?
518
00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:29,090
You were adopted?
519
00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:31,800
l never met my birth parents.
520
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,260
There was a car accident.
521
00:34:34,510 --> 00:34:37,340
I'm told it was a beautiful Belgian day.
522
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:41,510
The smell of waffles and Brussels sprouts
filled the summer air...
523
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,350
...until....
524
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,600
My birth mother was incinerated.
525
00:34:46,770 --> 00:34:49,810
l only survived
because her smoking carcass...
526
00:34:49,980 --> 00:34:53,610
...formed a protective cocoon
of slaughtered human effluence.
527
00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,860
A Belgian man and his 15-year-old
love slave with webbed feet...
528
00:34:57,030 --> 00:34:58,530
...was looting the accident scene.
529
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,910
They came across a blood-soaked baby,
moi.
530
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,120
They raised me to be evil.
531
00:35:03,290 --> 00:35:06,080
You know, that old chestnut.
532
00:35:07,460 --> 00:35:10,460
But nothing compares to this,
being inside the belly of the beast...
533
00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,750
...night after night, all alone.
534
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,130
Daddy’s all pent up. Let’s freak!
535
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:16,630
Oh!
536
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,360
Time's up.
537
00:35:34,530 --> 00:35:37,450
Visiting hours are over. Step to the line.
538
00:35:37,610 --> 00:35:39,240
Cuffs up.
539
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,620
Move it.
540
00:35:51,330 --> 00:35:52,750
Hi, there.
541
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,800
How you sleeping? Good?
542
00:35:57,170 --> 00:36:00,010
Gentlemen, listen up, y'all.
543
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:02,180
Here's the new plan:
544
00:36:02,350 --> 00:36:04,220
You're gonna start a riot...
545
00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:07,520
...and we’re gonna
walk out the front door.
546
00:36:10,270 --> 00:36:11,600
Hey, man.
547
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,820
l know guys on crack
that makes more sense than you.
548
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,530
Really?
549
00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:19,780
Then let me put it to you this way, cuz.
550
00:36:25,370 --> 00:36:26,700
Yeah.
551
00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:29,960
-Instead of treated
-We get tricked
552
00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:33,290
-Instead of kisses
-We get kicked
553
00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,540
It's the hard knock
554
00:36:34,710 --> 00:36:36,800
I don't know how to
be No crib on MTV
555
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,050
God only knows
Got my Mini Me in the G.P.
556
00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:41,260
See how it goes
Evil's all that I see
557
00:36:41,430 --> 00:36:43,550
And you ask me my name?
D to the rizzo
558
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,390
E to the vizzo
I to the lizzo
559
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,770
I'm a crazy
Y'all knew that
560
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:51,060
Austin caught me in the first act
It's all backwards, what's with that?
561
00:36:51,230 --> 00:36:53,900
So I'll make a prophecy
From the dogs to the Mini Me
562
00:36:54,060 --> 00:36:56,730
Give me an Escalade, a two-way
Bling bling on eBay
563
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,650
Domino
564
00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:04,740
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it
565
00:37:04,910 --> 00:37:06,580
Instead of treated
566
00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:09,830
This is for all my homeys in Bruges
567
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,580
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
568
00:37:17,550 --> 00:37:19,420
Ah, Cristal.
569
00:37:19,590 --> 00:37:20,630
My Moto.
570
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,260
A couple of beyotches.
571
00:37:22,430 --> 00:37:23,930
Why not?
572
00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,640
I gotta bust a move
Drop and bust a groove
573
00:37:26,810 --> 00:37:29,060
Feelin' fine, got an evil crew
Goldmember too
574
00:37:29,220 --> 00:37:30,220
Lick my 9
575
00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:32,940
Till then I'll...on my...butt
Brains out
576
00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:35,770
Put...on call
And splooge in your...that's all
577
00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:37,690
Fo' shizzle my nizzle, y'all
578
00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,320
Yeah.
579
00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:44,410
All right, Listen up.
580
00:37:44,570 --> 00:37:47,200
Tonight, 8 p.m.,
you're going to start a riot.
581
00:37:47,370 --> 00:37:49,620
Yes, Dr. Evil.
582
00:37:49,790 --> 00:37:53,290
Attention, all guards.
There is a riot in progress.
583
00:37:53,460 --> 00:37:55,290
Seal all exits.
584
00:37:55,460 --> 00:38:00,340
Attention. Dr. Evil and his clone
are trying to escape.
585
00:38:00,510 --> 00:38:04,380
All guards report to Cell Block A
immediately.
586
00:38:04,550 --> 00:38:07,640
Dr. Evil and his clone are getting away.
587
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:17,980
There you are.
588
00:38:18,150 --> 00:38:20,980
-Good morning, sunshine.
-Good morning.
589
00:38:21,150 --> 00:38:22,440
How did you sleep?
590
00:38:22,610 --> 00:38:25,990
-Great.
-Me too. If these lips could talk.
591
00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:29,830
Mm. Oh, hello.
592
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,080
You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
593
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,540
Oh. l hope there's a search involved.
594
00:38:38,130 --> 00:38:39,250
You've got mail.
595
00:38:39,420 --> 00:38:41,840
So, what does this thing do?
596
00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:43,510
Well, it's called the Internet...
597
00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,050
...and it's completely revolutionized
the way we live...
598
00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,840
...and access vital information.
599
00:38:48,010 --> 00:38:49,970
For example, have a look at this:
600
00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:51,470
Oh, look at the monkey.
601
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,680
Oh, he's got his finger on his--
-Oh, no. Watch out.
602
00:38:57,270 --> 00:38:59,770
Wow. Now, that's vital information.
603
00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:01,440
l know. It’s amazing.
604
00:39:04,190 --> 00:39:07,030
Oh, Basil. What's happening, baby?
605
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,860
A lot is happening, Foxxy.
606
00:39:09,030 --> 00:39:11,120
Dr. Evil has escaped.
607
00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:13,330
The good news is that
one of our agents...
608
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:16,870
...has managed to infiltrate
Dr. Evil's organization.
609
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,710
Excellent. We’ve been trying for years
to get a mole inside Dr. Evil’s lair.
610
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,840
-We now have that mole.
-Yes.
611
00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,300
And here he is.
612
00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:29,340
So you're the--
613
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:33,890
Mo....
614
00:39:34,060 --> 00:39:35,930
Most. Most.
615
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:38,480
-Most.
-Most excellent agent we've ever seen.
616
00:39:38,650 --> 00:39:40,900
Yes, most excellent agent we’ve ever seen.
617
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:42,900
-Mm-hm.
-Thank you.
618
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:44,570
Thank you.
619
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,400
Now, l wasn't able to get an exact Location,
but l did learn...
620
00:39:47,570 --> 00:39:50,360
...that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair
outside of Tokyo, Japan.
621
00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:52,410
Hmm.
622
00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:56,580
By the way, l realize
that l have a large mole on my face.
623
00:39:57,910 --> 00:39:59,500
Where? Ha, ha.
624
00:39:59,670 --> 00:40:02,330
What? Where's that mole? Heh, heh.
625
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,590
l didn't see one.
626
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:09,050
l also realize the irony
that l am myself a mole.
627
00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,850
No one would make that connection.
628
00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:17,770
Anyway, well done, old chap.
629
00:40:17,930 --> 00:40:18,980
Jolly good work.
630
00:40:19,140 --> 00:40:22,440
Yes, nice to mole you-- Meet you.
Nice to meet your mole.
631
00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:23,770
-Don't say "mole."
-Stop.
632
00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:25,980
-l said "mole."
-Stop.
633
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,400
Stop.
634
00:40:29,450 --> 00:40:31,110
Bye.
-Mole.
635
00:40:35,330 --> 00:40:36,620
Mole.
636
00:40:36,790 --> 00:40:38,500
Stop.
637
00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:43,210
-Mole.
-Oh, shut up!
638
00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,800
Moley-moley-moley-moIey-moley.
639
00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,900
Up, periscope.
640
00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,820
Ladies and gentlemen...
641
00:41:11,990 --> 00:41:14,160
...welcome to my new submarine lair.
642
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,240
It’s long and hard and full of seamen.
643
00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,170
Nothing? No?
644
00:41:26,340 --> 00:41:27,590
Not even a titter?
645
00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:28,960
Tough sub.
646
00:41:29,130 --> 00:41:31,920
Dr. Evil, you look very tight.
647
00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:33,590
Yes, tight like a tiger.
648
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,180
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Really?
649
00:41:35,350 --> 00:41:37,140
Yes, you look like a macho man.
650
00:41:37,310 --> 00:41:39,140
Village People.
651
00:41:39,310 --> 00:41:40,520
You know, Goldmember...
652
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,770
...I don't think that’s something
one dude should say to another dude.
653
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,480
Yeah. A little creepy. Mm-hm.
654
00:41:46,650 --> 00:41:51,440
Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
This is a keeper. Oi.
655
00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:52,860
Yes.
656
00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:56,990
All right, you're not gonna put that skin
in your mouth, are you?
657
00:41:58,490 --> 00:42:00,990
You did. Okay, that’s just gross.
658
00:42:02,210 --> 00:42:04,460
Yes, salty. Yes, that was good.
659
00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,710
Ladies and gentlemen...
660
00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:09,920
...as you know...
661
00:42:10,090 --> 00:42:12,840
...we've been designing
a "tractor beam"...
662
00:42:13,010 --> 00:42:15,130
...code-named Preparation H.
663
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:19,050
-Heh-heh-heh.
-It’s powerful enough to pull the meteor...
664
00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:23,060
..."Midas 22" into a collision course
with the Earth.
665
00:42:23,230 --> 00:42:27,600
Upon entering the atmosphere,
the hot ball of magma...
666
00:42:27,770 --> 00:42:31,610
...will strike and melt the polar icecaps,
causing a global flood.
667
00:42:31,780 --> 00:42:36,240
But enough of my technical mumbo jumbo.
Allow me to demonstrate.
668
00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:41,910
Lower the globe.
669
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:43,910
Lower the globe!
670
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,250
Ow! Ow!
671
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,000
Well, congratulations, numbnuts.
672
00:42:51,170 --> 00:42:55,220
You've succeeded in turning me
into a fricking jack-in-the-box.
673
00:42:55,380 --> 00:42:57,840
Get it off. Get it off. It's dark, it's dark.
674
00:42:58,010 --> 00:42:59,720
I’m okay. I’m okay.
675
00:43:01,310 --> 00:43:02,930
Release the meteor.
676
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,100
Release the meteor!
677
00:43:06,770 --> 00:43:08,270
-Ow!
-Oh....
678
00:43:10,270 --> 00:43:11,360
No way.
679
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,030
Right in the kniggin.
680
00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:16,240
-Goddamn it. Oh!
-Ow.
681
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,950
Guys.
682
00:43:18,450 --> 00:43:19,780
Way to go, A-hole.
683
00:43:19,950 --> 00:43:24,290
All right, hold on while I try
and find my balls, for God's sakes.
684
00:43:24,450 --> 00:43:26,660
One, two and three.
685
00:43:26,830 --> 00:43:28,620
Okay. I'm okay.
686
00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:32,710
Dr. Evil, we still have
the ultimate insurance policy.
687
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,300
May l present to you...
688
00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:37,670
...the very sexual, the very tight...
689
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,970
...Austin Powers' father.
690
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,810
-His what?
-His father, Dr. Evil.
691
00:43:43,970 --> 00:43:45,720
His "farger"?
692
00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:50,100
-What's a farger?
-His father. You know, the father.
693
00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:54,940
Yeah. Goldmember, I don't speak
freaky-deaky Dutch, okay, perv boy?
694
00:43:55,110 --> 00:43:57,240
Father. His dad. Dad is father.
695
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,530
Oh, his dad?
696
00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:00,990
Oh, his father.
697
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,660
Yes, I have a Dutch accent.
Isn’t that weird?
698
00:44:03,830 --> 00:44:05,740
Father. Father.
699
00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:09,000
Ah, Nigel Powers.
700
00:44:09,170 --> 00:44:10,500
Hello, hello.
701
00:44:14,130 --> 00:44:18,470
-Bring him to me.
-Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.
702
00:44:18,630 --> 00:44:21,720
Oh, put the guns down.
Is this the first day on the job or something?
703
00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:25,510
Look, this is how it goes.
You attack me one at a time...
704
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,930
...and l knock you out with a single punch.
Okay? Go.
705
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:30,520
-Judo chop.
-Oh, he's good.
706
00:44:30,690 --> 00:44:31,940
Judo chop.
707
00:44:32,610 --> 00:44:33,980
Do you know who I am?
708
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,730
Have you any idea
how many anonymous henchmen...
709
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,360
...I've killed over the years?
And look at you.
710
00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:42,530
You haven't even got a nametag.
You got no chance.
711
00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:44,160
Why don't you just fall down?
712
00:44:44,330 --> 00:44:46,240
Go on, son.
713
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,620
All right, Dr. Evil, give yourself up
while you've still got a chance.
714
00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,340
Okay. Okay. You've got me.
715
00:44:56,500 --> 00:44:58,880
Nigel Powers, meet...
716
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,550
...Mini Me.
-Oh, blimey.
717
00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,050
l thought l smelled cabbage.
718
00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:05,390
Take him away.
719
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,560
Uh, Dr. Evil, can l paint his yoo-hoo gold?
720
00:45:09,730 --> 00:45:12,390
It’s kind of my thing, you know.
721
00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:21,490
How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard?
722
00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:25,950
Attention, henchmen, it's health week.
723
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,740
Don't forget your physical.
Dr. Evil's orders.
724
00:45:32,830 --> 00:45:35,830
You know, l think it's a shame
the way they treat you.
725
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,590
Just because
you're one-eighth their size...
726
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,760
...doesn't mean you deserve
one-eighth of their respect.
727
00:45:42,430 --> 00:45:44,050
Does it?
728
00:45:44,220 --> 00:45:46,930
Say, mini-fella, I'm, uh...
729
00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,930
...I'm curious.
730
00:45:49,430 --> 00:45:52,770
Is, uh, everything in proportion?
731
00:45:54,270 --> 00:45:56,940
You know, your bobby-dangler,
your general, two colonels...
732
00:45:57,110 --> 00:45:59,360
...your giggle stick, master of ceremonies.
733
00:46:00,690 --> 00:46:02,940
Yeah. Oh, don't be shy. Let's have a look.
734
00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:10,290
My word.
735
00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:11,950
You're a tripod.
736
00:46:13,710 --> 00:46:17,580
What do you feed that thing, eh?
It’s like a baby's arm holding an apple.
737
00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:23,470
The good news is, you ever get tired,
you can use it as a kickstand.
738
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:32,560
l think we both know who the real brains is
behind this operation, eh?
739
00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:33,770
Mm-hm.
740
00:46:47,820 --> 00:46:50,780
Tokyo à gogo, baby. Yeah.
741
00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,250
Oh, what's kicking, Basil?
742
00:46:54,410 --> 00:46:57,170
A lot's kicking, Foxxy. Austin...
743
00:46:57,330 --> 00:47:01,590
...one of Dr. Evil's henchmen
has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena.
744
00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:03,670
Proceed there immediately.
745
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,170
Thanks, Basil.
746
00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:16,140
Ah, Jesus Christ.
This diaper's making my nuts rub together.
747
00:47:16,310 --> 00:47:19,190
It’s gonna start a fire.
748
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,110
That's Fat Bastard.
749
00:47:21,270 --> 00:47:25,030
...Fat Bastard.
750
00:47:37,540 --> 00:47:39,880
You know what my favorite
Helen Hunt movie is?
751
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,040
Twister.
752
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,720
Oh!
753
00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:51,390
Fat Bastard...
754
00:47:53,060 --> 00:47:55,350
-That's not right.
-Sure ain't.
755
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,350
Are we done here?
756
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,690
I’ve got to take a crap.
757
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,770
Wait a tick.
758
00:48:02,940 --> 00:48:05,030
Something doesn't smell right.
759
00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:07,740
And l think it's Fat Bastard.
760
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:12,320
On top of spaghetti
761
00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:16,080
All covered in-- Ahh! --cheese
762
00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:21,500
I lost my poor meatball
763
00:48:21,670 --> 00:48:23,000
'Cause somebody--
764
00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:30,050
-You okay, Austin?
-Sound as a pound, love. Yeah. Good.
765
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,180
What the--? I didn't have any corn.
766
00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:40,100
Aah!
767
00:48:49,030 --> 00:48:50,450
Hey, diaper lady.
768
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,740
Here's my diaper.
769
00:48:54,410 --> 00:48:56,540
l think l might have pinched one off
too soon.
770
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,370
Oh, l left a rosebud in there for you.
771
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,470
You really are a fat bastard.
772
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,970
You know, that hurts my feelings.
l tried going on a diet, you know.
773
00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:21,640
The Zone. You know,
"carbs are the enemy"?
774
00:49:22,230 --> 00:49:24,310
We don't like carbs,
you know what I mean?
775
00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:25,860
Oh.
776
00:49:27,530 --> 00:49:28,900
Who's your friend?
777
00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:32,650
Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly.
778
00:49:32,820 --> 00:49:35,370
Oh, do you find me sexy?
779
00:49:35,530 --> 00:49:37,410
Oh, look at my titties.
780
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,330
-Shut your mouth.
-Mm, yeah.
781
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,420
All right, that's enough.
782
00:49:44,580 --> 00:49:46,590
Okay, you got me.
783
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,170
-Put it there, would you?
-Okay.
784
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,090
Come here, you.
785
00:49:55,890 --> 00:49:58,350
Ow, my titties!
786
00:49:58,510 --> 00:50:00,680
Ow, you gave me a nurple.
787
00:50:06,310 --> 00:50:08,360
I’ve got you now, ha-ha-ha.
788
00:50:09,530 --> 00:50:10,690
Come here, you.
789
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,700
Prepare for the ultimate
wire-fighting maneuver.
790
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,290
l just hope my wire-fighting team
is ready.
791
00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:30,050
Whoa!
792
00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:47,480
-Crikey.
-Oh, great.
793
00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:49,480
Isn’t this magical?
794
00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:51,360
One of my wires broke.
795
00:50:59,030 --> 00:51:00,530
You under arrest, sugar.
796
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,080
Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat
you made an exchange with?
797
00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:08,420
Oh, all right.
798
00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:11,040
His name is Roboto.
799
00:51:11,210 --> 00:51:13,340
He owns Roboto Industries.
800
00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:18,180
He's designing some contraption
for Dr. Evil. l don't know.
801
00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:19,930
The tractor beam.
802
00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:21,350
That's it.
-Listen...
803
00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:24,520
...do you honestly think
that crime can pay?
804
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,600
Well, to be honest with you,
I’ve been trying to go legit.
805
00:51:28,270 --> 00:51:31,400
l really take my sumo wrestling
seriously, you know.
806
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:35,820
But when you're an overweight child...
807
00:51:35,990 --> 00:51:39,660
...in a society that demands perfection...
808
00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:42,950
...well, your sense of right, wrong...
809
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,660
...fair and unfair...
810
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:50,460
...will always be tragically skewed.
811
00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:57,800
Did you just soil yourself?
812
00:51:57,970 --> 00:52:00,430
Maybe, heh-heh-heh.
813
00:52:00,590 --> 00:52:03,300
It did sound a little wet, didn't it?
Right at the end.
814
00:52:03,470 --> 00:52:04,720
Ooh. Ha-ha-ha.
815
00:52:04,890 --> 00:52:06,270
Let's have a smell, all right?
816
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:08,980
Ooh, wafting, wafting.
817
00:52:09,150 --> 00:52:12,730
Oh, everyone likes their own brand,
don't they? This is magic.
818
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,610
All right, analysis:
819
00:52:14,780 --> 00:52:17,820
Oh, it smells Like carrots and throw-up.
820
00:52:17,990 --> 00:52:19,990
Oh, that could gag a maggot.
821
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:24,660
l smell Like hot, sick ass
in a dead carcass.
822
00:52:25,370 --> 00:52:28,960
Oh, even stink would say that stinks.
823
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,330
You know when you go
into an apartment building...
824
00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,170
...and you smell other people's cooking
on each floor and you go:
825
00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:37,590
"What are they cooking?" That, plus crap.
826
00:52:45,390 --> 00:52:47,270
-Hey, Pop.
-Hey, Scotty.
827
00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:49,020
How you been, sport?
828
00:52:49,190 --> 00:52:50,690
Whoa!
829
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:52,150
l got you a present.
830
00:52:52,310 --> 00:52:53,650
Really?
831
00:52:53,810 --> 00:52:56,190
-Open the tank.
-Open the tank!
832
00:53:02,820 --> 00:53:06,530
Are those sharks with laser beams
attached to their heads?
833
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,750
Cool. You mean l actually have
fricking sharks...
834
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,380
...with fricking Laser beams
attached to their fricking heads?
835
00:53:18,010 --> 00:53:21,170
You're the best evil son
an evil dad could ever ask for.
836
00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:24,640
Well, l love you, Dad.
837
00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:29,470
l love you, son.
838
00:53:31,230 --> 00:53:32,440
It’s touching moment, yes.
839
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,020
Scotty, come here.
840
00:53:35,980 --> 00:53:38,150
Pop a squat right next to Daddy.
841
00:53:40,740 --> 00:53:41,950
Mini Me?
842
00:53:42,490 --> 00:53:44,490
Move down the bench.
843
00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:47,410
Move down the bench.
844
00:53:47,580 --> 00:53:48,990
There's a power struggle, yes.
845
00:53:54,420 --> 00:53:56,750
Scotty's on fire.
846
00:53:58,590 --> 00:54:00,380
All right, it's getting crowded in here.
847
00:54:00,550 --> 00:54:02,760
Everyone out, everyone out. Come on.
848
00:54:02,930 --> 00:54:05,050
Not you, Scotty. Not you, Number Two.
849
00:54:05,220 --> 00:54:06,890
Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember.
850
00:54:07,050 --> 00:54:08,390
Not you, guys back there.
851
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,600
Not you, Henchman Holding Wrench.
852
00:54:10,770 --> 00:54:12,770
Not you,
Henchman Arbitrarily Turning Knobs...
853
00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:14,940
...Making It Seem Like
You're Doing Something.
854
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,950
Oh, this is uncomfortable.
855
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,790
Heh, heh. The tiny one can't take a hint.
Heh-heh-heh.
856
00:54:33,910 --> 00:54:36,460
He doesn't understand.
He is small, heh, heh.
857
00:54:54,060 --> 00:54:56,270
Hello, Foxxy. Austin.
858
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,940
We've confirmed what Fat Bastard told you
about Roboto is accurate.
859
00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:03,480
He was hired by Dr. Evil
to construct Preparation H.
860
00:55:03,650 --> 00:55:07,740
So Roboto had the technology
to build Goldmember's tractor beam.
861
00:55:07,910 --> 00:55:09,780
Which means Roboto
will lead us to Goldmember.
862
00:55:09,950 --> 00:55:13,040
Which means Goldmember
will lead us to my father.
863
00:55:25,420 --> 00:55:28,510
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. I thank you.
864
00:55:34,020 --> 00:55:36,100
-You speak Japanese?
-A little.
865
00:55:36,270 --> 00:55:38,940
Well, you might be a cunning linguist,
but I’m a master debater.
866
00:55:42,690 --> 00:55:44,940
I’m looking for my father.
He was kidnapped.
867
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:51,990
Please eat what?
868
00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:53,740
Wait.
869
00:55:54,660 --> 00:55:58,370
He said,
"Please eat some shitake mushrooms."
870
00:55:58,540 --> 00:56:00,330
Tell me...
871
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:01,960
...what do you know...
872
00:56:02,130 --> 00:56:05,710
...about my father's where...
873
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:10,180
...abouts?
874
00:56:10,340 --> 00:56:11,680
Mm.
875
00:56:15,470 --> 00:56:17,730
"Your ass is happy"?
876
00:56:17,890 --> 00:56:19,230
No.
877
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,820
He said,
"Your assignment is an unhappy one."
878
00:56:24,980 --> 00:56:26,280
Oh.
879
00:56:29,150 --> 00:56:31,740
Nice potty mouth, dirtbag.
880
00:56:33,740 --> 00:56:34,870
Oh.
881
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,830
Yes, quite off topic,
thank you very much.
882
00:56:40,670 --> 00:56:42,880
Why don't I just speak in English?
883
00:56:44,090 --> 00:56:46,090
That would be a good idea,
now, wouldn't it?
884
00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:48,260
That way l wouldn't
misread the subtitles...
885
00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:51,590
...making it seem like
you're saying things that are dirty.
886
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,930
I’m sorry to hear about your father,
but l can't help you.
887
00:56:56,770 --> 00:56:59,100
Please excuse me.
l have another appointment.
888
00:57:05,110 --> 00:57:06,320
By the way...
889
00:57:11,700 --> 00:57:15,030
-Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
-Tell me something l don't know.
890
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,450
-l open-mouth kissed a horse once.
-Say what?
891
00:57:17,620 --> 00:57:19,040
That's something you don't know.
892
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,120
My spider sense is telling me
that my father's still in this building.
893
00:57:22,290 --> 00:57:25,630
You keep a lookout.
I’m gonna try and sneak in.
894
00:58:29,820 --> 00:58:31,820
Mm.
895
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,750
Come on, come on, come on.
896
00:59:08,730 --> 00:59:09,900
Judo chop!
897
00:59:36,010 --> 00:59:37,930
Shazam!
898
00:59:38,090 --> 00:59:39,430
Come on, sugar.
899
00:59:44,470 --> 00:59:47,270
-There's Goldmember and Roboto.
-Yes, very impressive.
900
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,100
Put Preparation H
into my schtuppen transporten.
901
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,400
-What's this?
-You need this to turn on the tractor beam.
902
00:59:56,570 --> 00:59:58,280
It’s a gold key.
903
00:59:58,450 --> 00:59:59,860
It’s gold.
904
01:00:00,820 --> 01:00:02,160
Smarty-pants.
905
01:00:02,330 --> 01:00:04,450
-Let's spread out.
-Yeah.
906
01:00:08,870 --> 01:00:11,330
Hands up, Goldmember.
It’s payback time.
907
01:00:12,710 --> 01:00:14,130
Sure, you can kill me...
908
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:18,050
...but then what happens
to Austin Powers' father?
909
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:27,850
-Dad.
-Yes.
910
01:00:28,020 --> 01:00:31,310
And now he's going to have
an unfortunate smelting accident.
911
01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:40,320
-Hiya!
-Unh!
912
01:00:40,490 --> 01:00:43,070
Don't worry, Dad. I’m here to rescue you.
913
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:47,580
Ow! May l point out that last time around,
you fell into an obvious trap.
914
01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:50,160
Now you're trying to save me
instead of stopping Goldmember.
915
01:00:50,330 --> 01:00:53,170
Oh, please. I’m not gonna
let Goldmember get away.
916
01:00:53,340 --> 01:00:55,340
Austin, Goldmember's getting away.
917
01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:56,840
Ah.
918
01:01:01,510 --> 01:01:05,350
Hello, hello.
Aren't you going to introduce us, Austin?
919
01:01:05,510 --> 01:01:07,810
-Foxxy, this is--
-Powers. Nigel Powers.
920
01:01:08,930 --> 01:01:12,440
-Is that Eau de Flores you're wearing?
-Yes, it is.
921
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:13,980
That's how a woman should smell.
922
01:01:14,150 --> 01:01:16,360
Especially one as beautiful as you.
923
01:01:16,530 --> 01:01:20,440
My, my. Even in the face of danger,
you live up to your reputation.
924
01:01:23,370 --> 01:01:24,530
Get on with it.
925
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,710
I’ve got an idea.
926
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:36,880
Your spy car's a MINI?
927
01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:40,050
It’s not the size, mate,
it's how you use it.
928
01:02:03,530 --> 01:02:05,320
l would've found my way off that.
929
01:02:05,490 --> 01:02:07,490
Fellas.
-What? I saved your life.
930
01:02:07,660 --> 01:02:10,200
-You should've been doing your job.
-Oh, you're welcome, man.
931
01:02:10,370 --> 01:02:12,370
Shut up and turn around, please!
932
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,150
Run! It’s Godzilla!
933
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,910
It looks Like Godzilla, but due to
international copyright laws, it's not.
934
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,450
Still, we should run Like it is Godzilla!
935
01:02:49,620 --> 01:02:50,870
Though it isn't.
936
01:02:56,460 --> 01:02:57,790
There's Goldmember.
937
01:03:04,130 --> 01:03:06,300
Breaker, breaker, 1-niner.
938
01:03:06,470 --> 01:03:08,300
This is Goldy-Wang. Over.
939
01:03:08,470 --> 01:03:09,970
10-4, there, Goldy-Wang.
940
01:03:10,140 --> 01:03:12,470
This is Rubber Ducky.
What's your 10-20? Over.
941
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,440
I’ve got Preparation H in my rear
and Smokey the Bear in my back door.
942
01:03:16,650 --> 01:03:18,900
We've got us a convoy. Over.
943
01:03:19,060 --> 01:03:22,820
Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch
pile of monkey nuts.
944
01:03:23,530 --> 01:03:25,860
Open wide there, Rubber Ducky.
945
01:03:26,030 --> 01:03:28,530
I am entering your mouth now. Over.
946
01:03:34,790 --> 01:03:38,500
Oh, great. Goldmember got away.
-Now what?
947
01:03:38,670 --> 01:03:41,460
l think it's obvious.
We should take Dr. Evil's lair by force.
948
01:03:41,630 --> 01:03:44,050
-You can be my backup, son.
-Backup?
949
01:03:44,210 --> 01:03:46,130
Well, that's fairly condescending.
950
01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:48,380
Do you think Dr. Evil's
gonna expect an attack?
951
01:03:48,550 --> 01:03:50,390
We should infiltrate his lair.
952
01:03:50,550 --> 01:03:53,180
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
953
01:03:53,350 --> 01:03:57,350
We need commandos, scuba,
gadgets, for God's sake.
954
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,850
Well, l don't like to use gadgets...
955
01:04:00,020 --> 01:04:02,150
...outside the bedroom. I thank you.
956
01:04:05,030 --> 01:04:06,110
Outside the bedroom.
957
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,700
You know, l think being frozen
damaged your brain.
958
01:04:10,530 --> 01:04:12,990
Really? And how would you know?
959
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:16,830
This is the most time
that we've ever spent together since...
960
01:04:17,330 --> 01:04:18,370
...ever.
961
01:04:18,540 --> 01:04:20,620
-What are you saying, son?
-Oh, please.
962
01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:23,710
What boy learned to drive a car
with machine guns on it?
963
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,880
Or had a helicopter
you can fit in a knapsack?
964
01:04:27,050 --> 01:04:29,050
What about your Swedish nanny, Helga?
965
01:04:30,510 --> 01:04:31,550
Oh, yes. Helga.
966
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,550
Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking.
967
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,310
-Ha-ha-ha.
-Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes.
968
01:04:35,470 --> 01:04:37,140
She stayed on until you were 24.
969
01:04:39,060 --> 01:04:40,640
We were mates, you and l.
970
01:04:40,810 --> 01:04:44,020
l didn't need a friend, I needed a father.
971
01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:47,070
Do you know l risked my life
trying to save you...
972
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,700
...and you still don't give me any respect.
973
01:04:49,860 --> 01:04:54,160
Respect? Oh, come on.
lf you've got an issue, here’s a tissue.
974
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,340
That is not funny.
975
01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:08,760
Well, l suppose we better go
our separate ways, then.
976
01:05:10,630 --> 01:05:16,560
Fine.
977
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,900
So I've been assigned to welcome you
to the Ministry of Defence.
978
01:05:31,070 --> 01:05:34,530
l have a letter from my director
personally thanking you for switching sides.
979
01:05:42,830 --> 01:05:45,080
l can't wait to inform Austin
of your defection.
980
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,800
Oh, hello, Basil.
981
01:05:51,970 --> 01:05:54,800
Yes, Austin should be here
any second. Yes.
982
01:05:55,390 --> 01:05:57,810
Yes, I'm in Austin’s hotel room right now.
Mm-hm.
983
01:06:04,270 --> 01:06:06,310
-Aah!
-Oh-- Uh--
984
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,480
-Assassin!
-Eek!
985
01:06:11,150 --> 01:06:13,070
Try to kill me, will you?
986
01:06:16,070 --> 01:06:17,950
Oh, you want to be friends, huh?
987
01:06:19,620 --> 01:06:21,250
Wait a tick.
988
01:06:22,580 --> 01:06:23,910
Peace?
989
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,120
Oh!
990
01:06:25,290 --> 01:06:27,130
I’m not falling for that again.
991
01:06:36,470 --> 01:06:38,680
But at least he didn't mention it.
992
01:06:38,850 --> 01:06:41,180
Yes, I realize he can't talk.
993
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,350
Listen, l think Dr. Evil treated him badly
and that's why he's decided to help us.
994
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,610
Come back here, you little bugger.
995
01:06:54,740 --> 01:06:55,860
Got you.
996
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,790
Oh, yes, I’m sure Austin and Mini
will get along famously.
997
01:07:03,370 --> 01:07:06,460
No, l guarantee nothing will happen
to Mini Me on my watch.
998
01:07:10,710 --> 01:07:13,550
Come on, you bugger.
Come on, I got you.
999
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:23,220
Oh, l think he and Austin will be united
in their commitment to stopping Dr. Evil.
1000
01:07:27,310 --> 01:07:30,860
Austin, there you are.
I’ve come to tell you the good news.
1001
01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:36,900
Mini Me has...
1002
01:07:37,740 --> 01:07:38,740
...switched sides.
1003
01:07:39,410 --> 01:07:42,240
Ah! Oh. Heh.
1004
01:07:42,410 --> 01:07:46,870
Sorry about that, old chap. Sorry.
You know. Sorry.
1005
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,500
Welcome aboard, heh-heh-heh.
1006
01:07:49,670 --> 01:07:52,170
-My "mole-stake."
-What was that?
1007
01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:56,420
-Listen, just get it out of your system.
-No, I’m fine.
1008
01:07:56,590 --> 01:07:58,590
-We could work together better if--
-It’s okay--
1009
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:00,470
Mole! Bloody mole!
1010
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:04,770
We're not supposed to talk about the mole,
but there's a mole winking me in the face.
1011
01:08:04,930 --> 01:08:09,190
I’m gonna chop it off and cut it up
and make some guacamole.
1012
01:08:11,270 --> 01:08:13,690
-Better?
-Yeah. Yes.
1013
01:08:27,870 --> 01:08:31,040
So you've decided to join us,
huh, Mini Me?
1014
01:08:31,210 --> 01:08:33,460
Welcome to the good side,
my mini-brother.
1015
01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:36,630
And thank you for the map
of Dr. Evil's sub.
1016
01:08:38,130 --> 01:08:39,800
What's this? It says:
1017
01:08:39,970 --> 01:08:43,430
"Dr. Evil's tractor beam is now complete.
There's not much time.
1018
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,140
Dr. Evil must pay."
1019
01:08:49,770 --> 01:08:52,940
"You are so beautiful.
Are you a clone of an angel?"
1020
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:58,440
That is so sweet.
Well, no, my mini-man, I'm not.
1021
01:09:01,740 --> 01:09:03,990
"Are you sure you don't have
a little clone in you?"
1022
01:09:05,330 --> 01:09:06,740
Yeah, I'm sure.
1023
01:09:06,950 --> 01:09:08,200
"Would you like to?"
1024
01:09:11,830 --> 01:09:13,750
Horny bugger.
1025
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:15,960
That is so not funny.
1026
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,760
Okay, everyone, prepare to dive.
1027
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,430
This spy car's also a submarine.
1028
01:09:36,690 --> 01:09:39,190
Get me the World Organization.
1029
01:09:41,570 --> 01:09:42,860
What is it, Dr. Evil?
1030
01:09:43,030 --> 01:09:44,490
Gentlemen, in a matter of hours...
1031
01:09:44,660 --> 01:09:48,540
...a meteor will crash into Earth,
causing a global flood.
1032
01:09:48,700 --> 01:09:50,830
That is, of course, unless you pay me...
1033
01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:54,000
...one billion...
1034
01:09:59,880 --> 01:10:02,170
...million yen.
1035
01:10:02,340 --> 01:10:04,050
l think you're bluffing.
1036
01:10:04,220 --> 01:10:08,220
Well, perhaps you'd like a demonstration.
Number Two, the key, please.
1037
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:32,250
Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing.
1038
01:10:32,410 --> 01:10:34,410
One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
1039
01:10:34,580 --> 01:10:37,000
-Which one?
-It's the one that looks like a pair of--
1040
01:10:37,170 --> 01:10:40,420
Melons. Big, juicy melons.
1041
01:10:40,590 --> 01:10:42,590
Are they nice and firm?
1042
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,590
Well, what do you think?
1043
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:47,510
Look at that. It looks like a set of giant--
1044
01:10:49,430 --> 01:10:53,270
-Hey, "A" and "N," you're late.
-How we doing? We're back.
1045
01:10:53,430 --> 01:10:55,770
Go, Titans!
1046
01:10:55,940 --> 01:10:58,360
Check it out. Those remind me of--
1047
01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:00,860
-Boobs.
-Boobs, Ozzy?
1048
01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:05,450
-These filmmakers are ****ing boobs.
-What do you mean, Dad?
1049
01:11:05,610 --> 01:11:10,200
They're using the same ****ing joke
as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
1050
01:11:10,370 --> 01:11:12,790
-What ****ing joke?
-You know, the ****ing joke...
1051
01:11:12,950 --> 01:11:15,460
...about the long smooth rocket
that looks like some guy's--
1052
01:11:15,620 --> 01:11:17,460
-Johnson.
-Yes, sir.
1053
01:11:17,630 --> 01:11:21,300
-Any sign of that satellite?
-No, sir. It's gone.
1054
01:11:21,460 --> 01:11:25,010
Gentlemen, you have my demands.
Peace out.
1055
01:11:59,580 --> 01:12:02,290
Cor, baby. You look very switched on.
1056
01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:05,380
Thank you, Austin.
1057
01:12:05,550 --> 01:12:06,880
Uh--
1058
01:12:08,510 --> 01:12:11,800
No, Mini Me. Off. Bad. Mustn't.
No humping.
1059
01:12:14,180 --> 01:12:17,100
Dr. Evil, in light of the success
of the device...
1060
01:12:17,270 --> 01:12:19,690
...it is Japanese custom
that l receive a bonus.
1061
01:12:21,110 --> 01:12:23,860
A bonus? Ha-ha-ha. That's good.
1062
01:12:24,030 --> 01:12:25,690
Yeah, that's awesome.
1063
01:12:25,860 --> 01:12:28,360
Throw me a fricking bonus here.
Ha-ha-ha.
1064
01:12:31,370 --> 01:12:34,200
Oh, l haven't laughed that hard
since l was a little girl. Thank you.
1065
01:12:34,370 --> 01:12:36,580
-Hmm.
-Oh.
1066
01:12:36,750 --> 01:12:38,040
You're not joking.
1067
01:12:38,210 --> 01:12:40,370
No. In fact,
if you don't give me the bonus--
1068
01:12:40,540 --> 01:12:42,670
Hey, Dad.
-Hey, Scotty. How are you, sport?
1069
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:44,500
Whoa!
1070
01:12:50,970 --> 01:12:53,140
-Why don't you let me take care of this?
-Okay.
1071
01:13:04,230 --> 01:13:05,400
Ugh.
1072
01:13:05,570 --> 01:13:07,030
He's got a good evil laugh.
1073
01:13:08,530 --> 01:13:09,860
Get along.
1074
01:13:10,030 --> 01:13:11,200
Scotty!
1075
01:13:11,990 --> 01:13:16,200
Scotty.
1076
01:13:16,370 --> 01:13:19,160
Take it down a notch.
1077
01:13:20,420 --> 01:13:21,580
It’s creeping a bit.
1078
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,670
Let's go.
1079
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:29,380
We'll need a disguise.
1080
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:32,430
There's only one uniform.
1081
01:13:33,340 --> 01:13:36,600
One of us has to go on
the other one's shoulders.
1082
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:52,150
Hey there, buddy. How's it going?
Good to see you.
1083
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,280
Yeah. Yeah. Hi.
1084
01:13:56,780 --> 01:13:59,290
How are you? Just getting my sea legs.
Sorry about that.
1085
01:13:59,450 --> 01:14:00,790
Hello. You all right?
1086
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:04,000
Yes, it's a good hat. Very good hat.
1087
01:14:05,210 --> 01:14:07,290
Come on, Mini Me. Let's go.
1088
01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:10,590
Hold it right there, mister.
1089
01:14:13,090 --> 01:14:16,300
Did you really think
you could get away with this?
1090
01:14:16,470 --> 01:14:18,640
l did, actually. Yes.
1091
01:14:18,810 --> 01:14:20,890
Every new recruit must have a physical.
1092
01:14:21,850 --> 01:14:23,600
Now get in here, sailor.
1093
01:14:23,770 --> 01:14:26,860
I’m going to need a urine sampIe.
1094
01:14:28,570 --> 01:14:29,820
Okay.
1095
01:14:33,990 --> 01:14:35,740
No.
-I don't know.
1096
01:14:36,990 --> 01:14:39,990
Okay, then. Um....
1097
01:14:44,830 --> 01:14:46,210
Okay.
1098
01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:56,590
Hello.
1099
01:15:03,060 --> 01:15:05,810
And here we go.
1100
01:15:06,310 --> 01:15:07,650
Sorry.
1101
01:15:07,810 --> 01:15:10,270
Right. There you go. Right.
1102
01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,110
Ah, yes.
-Terrific.
1103
01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:15,360
Yes, good. Okay.
1104
01:15:15,530 --> 01:15:19,280
All right, sailor, go behind that screen...
1105
01:15:19,490 --> 01:15:21,330
...and strip down to your skivvies.
1106
01:15:21,490 --> 01:15:24,700
All right, then. I’ll just go to that screen...
1107
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:28,420
...which is over there.
1108
01:15:32,130 --> 01:15:33,800
Right behind that screen.
1109
01:15:35,130 --> 01:15:36,470
Next.
1110
01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:40,390
Come on, hurry. The map.
1111
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:43,060
Okay, what's our plan?
1112
01:15:45,390 --> 01:15:47,810
-I’m going to need a urine sample.
-Okay.
1113
01:15:47,980 --> 01:15:49,560
Which way to the main chamber?
1114
01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:11,170
Okay, so.... Oh, sure.
1115
01:16:13,550 --> 01:16:15,340
Oh.
1116
01:16:23,220 --> 01:16:26,520
-Excuse me, doctor?
-It’s difficult in public, isn't it?
1117
01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:37,280
Mini Me, our shadows.
We're casting a shadow.
1118
01:16:37,450 --> 01:16:39,200
What's wrong, sailor?
1119
01:16:39,410 --> 01:16:41,570
You should check that guy out.
1120
01:16:47,620 --> 01:16:49,040
What the hell's going on here?
1121
01:16:52,460 --> 01:16:53,880
Hands up.
1122
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:58,800
You heard me. l said, hands up.
Both of you.
1123
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,140
Oh.
1124
01:17:11,650 --> 01:17:14,650
-Come with me.
-Mini Me, the map. Go.
1125
01:17:16,980 --> 01:17:19,780
Okay. You got me.
1126
01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:32,330
Are you all right, little man?
1127
01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:34,000
Uh-huh.
1128
01:17:36,750 --> 01:17:38,260
Right on.
1129
01:17:55,020 --> 01:17:56,610
Mr. Powers.
1130
01:17:56,770 --> 01:17:58,360
Before l kill you...
1131
01:17:58,530 --> 01:18:01,990
...perhaps you'd like to see
the genius of my plan.
1132
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:05,660
Key, please.
1133
01:18:09,790 --> 01:18:13,040
What the--? Who? But how? Where? Huh?
1134
01:18:15,420 --> 01:18:16,880
-Looking for this?
-Huh?
1135
01:18:19,210 --> 01:18:21,010
-Mini Me?
-All right...
1136
01:18:21,170 --> 01:18:24,930
...everybody drop your guns,
because Foxxy Cleopatra's in the sub.
1137
01:18:25,090 --> 01:18:28,220
Smashing, Foxxy. Yeah.
1138
01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:32,560
Unh!
-Here, sugar.
1139
01:18:33,190 --> 01:18:34,730
All right, Dr. Evil.
1140
01:18:34,900 --> 01:18:37,650
It’s finally come down to this.
1141
01:18:38,230 --> 01:18:41,860
You, me and a gun.
1142
01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,530
What are you going to do now, Austin?
1143
01:18:48,580 --> 01:18:50,200
Dad?
1144
01:18:50,540 --> 01:18:52,950
What are you doing here?
1145
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,080
I’ve gotta finish this off once and for all.
1146
01:18:57,750 --> 01:19:00,300
I’m afraid you can't do that.
1147
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,420
l have to protect my son.
1148
01:19:02,590 --> 01:19:04,590
Dad, I’m fine.
1149
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:06,930
I’m not talking about you.
1150
01:19:07,890 --> 01:19:11,100
I’m talking about him.
1151
01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:15,520
What?
1152
01:19:15,770 --> 01:19:19,110
Dr. Evil's not your son, l am.
1153
01:19:19,570 --> 01:19:21,110
-You both are.
-Huh?!
1154
01:19:23,030 --> 01:19:24,280
What?
1155
01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:29,120
It was our first family holiday together.
1156
01:19:29,620 --> 01:19:31,620
Just as I was finishing a case...
1157
01:19:31,790 --> 01:19:34,950
...your mother brought the two of you
to Belgium.
1158
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:41,460
I stopped to have a tinkle when the car....
1159
01:19:51,810 --> 01:19:56,230
But my parents died in a car accident.
1160
01:19:56,390 --> 01:19:58,480
It was no accident.
1161
01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:01,270
It was an assassination attempt.
1162
01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:03,860
I thought only Austin survived.
1163
01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:06,320
I should have told you the truth earlier...
1164
01:20:06,490 --> 01:20:09,320
...but those Belgians,
they made you so damn...
1165
01:20:09,490 --> 01:20:10,780
...evil.
1166
01:20:11,580 --> 01:20:15,250
And, of course, they share a border
with the Dutch.
1167
01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:20,170
Very interesting story, Mr. Powers.
1168
01:20:20,330 --> 01:20:23,630
Of course, I’m gonna have to wait
until l see all the facts.
1169
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:25,420
Daddy.
1170
01:20:27,510 --> 01:20:29,510
Shh, Daddy's here, Dougie.
1171
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:31,680
-Shh.
-Uh, "Dougie"?
1172
01:20:31,850 --> 01:20:33,760
-Dougie?
-Dougie. Remember, Dougie?
1173
01:20:33,930 --> 01:20:36,100
Dad, what's going on?
1174
01:20:39,850 --> 01:20:41,690
What are you going to do, Austin?
1175
01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,830
-Austin.
-Hmm?
1176
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:58,830
Are you sure you can trust Dr. Evil?
1177
01:21:01,130 --> 01:21:03,040
He ain't heavy...
1178
01:21:03,380 --> 01:21:05,550
...he's my brother, baby. Yeah.
1179
01:21:08,550 --> 01:21:11,630
l should have told you this
so long ago, son.
1180
01:21:12,510 --> 01:21:14,010
-I’m very proud of you.
-Unh!
1181
01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:19,520
-Can you forgive me?
-l forgive you, Dad.
1182
01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:27,400
Come on.
1183
01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:31,240
Yes.
1184
01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:42,920
My two sons.
1185
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:47,090
I’m Dougie. I’m Dougie.
1186
01:21:50,380 --> 01:21:52,050
Come on.
1187
01:21:53,090 --> 01:21:55,260
Oh, there you are.
1188
01:21:59,850 --> 01:22:01,350
Oh, come on.
1189
01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,060
l mean, first I’m not evil enough for you.
1190
01:22:05,230 --> 01:22:07,440
And now you're gonna turn good?
1191
01:22:07,610 --> 01:22:09,070
Listen, Scott.
1192
01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:10,860
You can spend your whole life...
1193
01:22:11,030 --> 01:22:14,070
...trying to win your parents' acceptance,
believe me.
1194
01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:18,620
But at the end of the day,
you've just gotta do it for yourself, baby.
1195
01:22:18,790 --> 01:22:20,120
That all I’ve gotta do?
1196
01:22:20,290 --> 01:22:21,450
Hey, Austin? Shh!
1197
01:22:22,290 --> 01:22:23,580
What?
1198
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:25,420
l hate you.
1199
01:22:26,290 --> 01:22:28,630
l hate you. I hate you.
1200
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,920
l don't even know you,
but l hate you too.
1201
01:22:33,090 --> 01:22:34,760
And l especially hate you.
1202
01:22:37,810 --> 01:22:39,010
You'll pay.
1203
01:22:39,640 --> 01:22:41,100
You'll all pay.
1204
01:22:45,230 --> 01:22:49,360
I'd like to point out that no one else
in my gene pool runs like a girl.
1205
01:22:49,530 --> 01:22:51,320
Not so fast, smarty-pants.
1206
01:22:52,820 --> 01:22:54,150
Dr. Evil...
1207
01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:59,450
...you might not want to destroy the world,
but l do.
1208
01:23:00,620 --> 01:23:03,410
Preparation H goes ahead as planned.
1209
01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:05,250
I’m going to flood the Earth.
1210
01:23:06,580 --> 01:23:07,750
Think again, Goldmember.
1211
01:23:08,340 --> 01:23:10,670
Ah, Foxxy Cleopatra.
1212
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:15,590
It’s a shame l had to kill your partner.
Too bad for you.
1213
01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:19,680
Too bad for me?
How about too bad for you?
1214
01:23:19,850 --> 01:23:21,350
Oh, no.
1215
01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:25,180
No! No! No!
1216
01:23:25,350 --> 01:23:27,770
No....
1217
01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:29,940
Luckily, I keep a spare.
1218
01:23:37,950 --> 01:23:39,120
Look, everyone.
1219
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:41,370
My winkie was a key.
1220
01:23:41,540 --> 01:23:43,490
Only a bloody Dutchman.
1221
01:23:43,660 --> 01:23:45,620
-Ha-ha-ha.
-You mine, sucker.
1222
01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:50,040
Yes.
1223
01:23:50,210 --> 01:23:51,880
Foxxy, I’m coming.
1224
01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:55,840
Nobody try anything stupid
or the shooting begins.
1225
01:23:56,010 --> 01:23:59,890
Austin. Take Dougie.
I’ll stay here and be your backup.
1226
01:24:00,050 --> 01:24:05,140
-Dougie, what do we do?
-I’m not a real "hands-on evil genius."
1227
01:24:05,310 --> 01:24:07,560
Think. You were always the smart one.
1228
01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:11,810
Uh, l could reroute the output capacitor
to the tractor beam...
1229
01:24:11,980 --> 01:24:14,530
...from one of the conduit boxes up there.
1230
01:24:14,690 --> 01:24:15,860
Come on, let's go.
1231
01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:24,580
Yes. The shooting begins.
1232
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:29,420
Let me shoot.
1233
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,210
You know, Dr. Evil...
1234
01:24:36,380 --> 01:24:39,260
-...l used to think you were crazy.
-l know.
1235
01:24:39,430 --> 01:24:42,970
But now l can see you're nuts.
l thank you.
1236
01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:45,810
Give me the gun.
1237
01:24:48,770 --> 01:24:50,100
Ow!
1238
01:25:00,530 --> 01:25:02,120
Hurry.
1239
01:25:05,620 --> 01:25:07,830
Father. Father. Father.
-Ow!
1240
01:25:08,460 --> 01:25:10,790
Father, can you hear me?
1241
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:12,080
Father. Father.
1242
01:25:16,460 --> 01:25:17,630
Wow!
1243
01:25:22,970 --> 01:25:27,310
Well done, Austin.
He saved the world again.
1244
01:25:27,470 --> 01:25:29,430
Hey, yeah.
1245
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:30,730
Thank you.
1246
01:25:30,890 --> 01:25:32,190
Right on.
1247
01:25:32,350 --> 01:25:35,770
-Austin, you did it.
-We did it.
1248
01:25:35,940 --> 01:25:37,980
Yeah, baby.
1249
01:25:39,650 --> 01:25:42,660
No? Just trying it on.
1250
01:25:44,580 --> 01:25:45,910
Goldmember?
1251
01:25:46,490 --> 01:25:47,990
You under arrest, sugar.
1252
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:53,290
Hey, assholes.
1253
01:25:53,460 --> 01:25:58,000
Do l have time for a last smoke
and a pancake, or what?
1254
01:26:02,130 --> 01:26:06,300
I am from Holland. Isn't that weird?
1255
01:26:08,930 --> 01:26:10,060
Yeah.
1256
01:26:10,230 --> 01:26:12,440
Yes, well done.
1257
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:14,650
Good on you, man.
1258
01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:19,690
Thank you.
1259
01:26:35,460 --> 01:26:36,460
Yes.
1260
01:26:38,590 --> 01:26:40,460
Hey, Powers.
1261
01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:47,010
Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore.
1262
01:26:47,180 --> 01:26:50,680
l went on the Subway diet.
You know, just like Jared.
1263
01:26:50,850 --> 01:26:53,060
I've lost 180 pounds.
1264
01:26:53,230 --> 01:26:54,810
Congratulations, baby.
1265
01:26:54,980 --> 01:26:58,650
Thank you. l do have a little bit
of excess skin, though.
1266
01:26:58,820 --> 01:27:00,400
Bit of a problem here, yeah.
1267
01:27:00,570 --> 01:27:04,650
And unfortunately,
my neck does look like a vagina.
1268
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:09,200
Austin! Austin!
-Over here.
1269
01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:13,620
Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1270
01:27:13,790 --> 01:27:15,580
Austin, you the boss!
-You all right?
1271
01:27:15,750 --> 01:27:18,170
Loved it!
-Okay.
1272
01:27:18,630 --> 01:27:19,840
Austin...
1273
01:27:20,590 --> 01:27:23,170
...thank you for everything.
1274
01:27:31,470 --> 01:27:32,770
Shazam.
1275
01:27:44,990 --> 01:27:48,410
I’m gonna get you, Austin Powers.
1276
01:28:20,230 --> 01:28:22,190
Well, they're using the same
****ing joke...
1277
01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:26,280
...as they did in the last Austin Powers
film-- Movie-- What was it?
1278
01:28:26,450 --> 01:28:28,110
Well, they're using the-- Well--
1279
01:28:28,280 --> 01:28:31,570
Well, they're using the same joke
that they did-- Oh.
1280
01:28:32,660 --> 01:28:34,700
What do l mean?
-Ha-ha-ha.
1281
01:28:34,870 --> 01:28:37,500
-Boobs, Ozzy.
-Stop, do that again.
1282
01:28:37,660 --> 01:28:39,080
You're starting to laugh.
1283
01:28:40,460 --> 01:28:44,000
Oh, don't start, Kelly,
or I'll put you back in the refrigerator.
1284
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:46,840
One more.
1285
01:28:47,010 --> 01:28:48,720
-l don't like that.
-A little serious.
1286
01:28:48,880 --> 01:28:51,090
Don't make that noise, Sharon.
I’m getting turned on.
1287
01:28:51,260 --> 01:28:53,640
My testosterone is going dancing.
1288
01:28:54,850 --> 01:28:55,850
Get off me.
1289
01:29:00,940 --> 01:29:03,940
Is--? Is it true what they say about you?
1290
01:29:06,990 --> 01:29:09,950
Kickstand. Really?
1291
01:29:10,110 --> 01:29:13,530
Um, can I give you my cell phone number?
1292
01:29:13,700 --> 01:29:14,870
Please?
1293
01:29:17,290 --> 01:29:20,370
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Burt Bacharach.
93137
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
