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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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You're saying that Val Kilmer's
nipples were so sensitive
3
00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:08,776
that he had fake nipples
put on his Batman chest armor?
4
00:00:08,778 --> 00:00:11,579
- Uh-huh.
- A. Wouldn't solve the problem.
5
00:00:11,581 --> 00:00:14,548
B. What about Clooney?
His chest armor had nipples too.
6
00:00:14,550 --> 00:00:17,353
Uh, it's common knowledge
that Clooney had his nipples
7
00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:19,021
insured for a million dollars.
8
00:00:19,022 --> 00:00:21,555
Why the hell would George
insure his nipples
9
00:00:21,557 --> 00:00:24,793
- for a million dollars?
- Why? I'll show you why.
10
00:00:26,262 --> 00:00:30,131
- My God, they're spectacular!
- Oh, yeah, they are.
11
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:32,801
- You're making that up.
- How did you know?
12
00:00:32,802 --> 00:00:34,902
No one can afford two accountants.
Not even Clooney.
13
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:37,372
- Right, Wanda?
- Can't talk. Busy.
14
00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:40,108
Too busy to talk about
Clooney's nipples? Since when?
15
00:00:40,109 --> 00:00:42,576
Since I started programming
my own computer game.
16
00:00:42,578 --> 00:00:44,746
Oh, computer game.
Sounds awesome.
17
00:00:44,747 --> 00:00:47,849
It's an urban development game,
designing and building cities.
18
00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:49,518
Sounds less awesome.
19
00:00:49,519 --> 00:00:52,153
Oh, no, no, you're thinking
of other city design games.
20
00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:54,087
Mine gets down and dirty,
21
00:00:54,089 --> 00:00:56,524
into the real nitty-gritty of the city.
22
00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:59,807
- I like nitty gritty.
- I like down and dirty. Let us play!
23
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:00,762
Come on, come on, please?
24
00:01:00,763 --> 00:01:03,265
Well... I do need to get it beta tested,
25
00:01:03,266 --> 00:01:05,199
and you guys are about as beta
as it gets.
26
00:01:05,201 --> 00:01:06,801
All right, you can try it.
27
00:01:06,802 --> 00:01:08,069
You guys talking
about computer games?
28
00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:10,271
All right!
I love 'em!
29
00:01:10,272 --> 00:01:14,507
- Chess, Checkers, Mahjong...
- So, board games on a screen, then.
30
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:18,545
You Gen-Xers, you always
got your nose in a computer.
31
00:01:18,547 --> 00:01:22,348
In my day, we played games
on tables made of solid oak,
32
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,784
face to face, like real men.
33
00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:27,454
Gather 'round, youngsters,
Dad's going to tell us
34
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,422
about the Great
Kerplunk Championship of '39.
35
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:32,292
When we were dating,
we used to have game nights.
36
00:01:32,294 --> 00:01:36,929
We'd play Scrabble,
Risk, Monopoly, Sorry...
37
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,667
Don't apologize.
Those Parker Brothers really knew
38
00:01:39,668 --> 00:01:43,136
how to show you a good time.
Remember Crokinole?
39
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,969
Uh, it's pronounced
"Whack-A-Mole."
40
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:49,474
Who could forget Crokinole?
Those were crazy times.
41
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:53,144
Speaking of crazy, when you're
playing computer solitaire,
42
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,347
you can change
the design of the cards,
43
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,082
like, any time you want!
44
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,150
Middle of a game,
playing with sunflowers,
45
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:02,236
then blammo!
Niagara Falls.
46
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,490
My game sounds pretty
exciting now, doesn't it?
47
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:09,160
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
48
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:12,163
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
49
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:15,748
2x10 - Anger Games
50
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,472
- How's lunch, Davis?
- It's not exactly what I ordered.
51
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,274
Oh, shoot!
I gave you scrambled eggs.
52
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,910
You ordered over easy.
53
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,847
Chicken and waffles, actually,
but no worries, I'll eat this.
54
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,649
Oh, I'm so sorry, Davis.
How about I make it up to you
55
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,350
with a free box
of Prairie Leader cookies?
56
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:36,254
I'm helping sell them for their
annual anti-bullying campaign.
57
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,289
Unfortunate turn of phrase.
58
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,258
Those cookies taste so good
59
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,928
- with an ice-cold glass of...
- Milk!
60
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:45,864
- Exactly!
- Oh, I'm so sorry, Davis!
61
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:49,068
- Here, let me help with that.
- Coffee!
62
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:53,138
- Oh, geez! Sorry about that.
- It's all fine.
63
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:56,640
I'll just go to the bathroom
and clean myself up.
64
00:02:56,642 --> 00:03:00,077
Huh. After all that, he
didn't even get angry.
65
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,914
Davis?
Yeah, he's pretty even-keeled.
66
00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:05,048
He's the keelest person I know.
67
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:08,152
Come to think of it,
I've never seen him angry.
68
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,353
Hmm.
Can't say that I have either.
69
00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:12,256
I see a lot of moody, some giddy.
70
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,725
I get a crap-ton of pouty...
but not angry.
71
00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:18,455
That's not good. Bottling up anger
can be dangerous for health.
72
00:03:18,486 --> 00:03:21,632
Health is important. Can I get
another pulled pork poutine?
73
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,433
There's milk in mine.
74
00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:30,274
- Emma, look what I have.
- I'm sure it's impressive,
75
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:32,942
but Tuesday is when
we wiggle and giggle.
76
00:03:32,944 --> 00:03:35,812
Not that! Horndog.
77
00:03:35,814 --> 00:03:39,549
- The old Crokinole board!
- I found it in the basement.
78
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,650
You up for a game
for old times' sake?
79
00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:44,921
Are you kidding?
Set it up.
80
00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:49,025
- It's set up.
- Aren't there supposed to be game pieces?
81
00:03:49,027 --> 00:03:52,428
Oh yeah.
Little pucks or something.
82
00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,965
- So what do we do now?
- I have an idea.
83
00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,970
- You can't wait until Tuesday?
- You started it.
84
00:04:04,507 --> 00:04:06,108
You have no other pants
you can wear
85
00:04:06,109 --> 00:04:08,177
while you're soaking the stain
out of your uniform?
86
00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:11,402
I'm behind on laundry.
My washing machine broke,
87
00:04:11,403 --> 00:04:13,805
and the manufacturer
isn't honoring the warranty.
88
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,284
Wow, that's gotta
make you a little angry.
89
00:04:16,286 --> 00:04:18,820
That and walking around
like a carrot with a badge.
90
00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:21,122
Well, there's a silver lining
to everything.
91
00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:23,124
My negotiating skills are improving
92
00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:24,760
by talking to customer service,
93
00:04:24,761 --> 00:04:27,896
and these sweatpants
are hella comfortable.
94
00:04:29,032 --> 00:04:31,667
What the...
I'm being audited.
95
00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,468
You poor bastard.
96
00:04:33,470 --> 00:04:36,203
Strangers combing through
your personal life.
97
00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:38,874
So violating.
No silver lining in that.
98
00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,909
Gives me chance to meet
other government employees.
99
00:04:41,911 --> 00:04:44,979
Maybe ask them if you can
write off those sweatpants.
100
00:04:47,316 --> 00:04:50,852
That was fast. I thought beta
testing would take longer.
101
00:04:50,854 --> 00:04:52,554
Ooh, or were you guys
having so much fun
102
00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:54,055
you had to stop
and catch your breath?
103
00:04:54,056 --> 00:04:56,558
Honestly...
bit of a snore.
104
00:04:56,559 --> 00:04:58,394
Big snore.
Snores galore.
105
00:04:58,395 --> 00:05:00,796
- A snoregasbord.
- A Jersey snore.
106
00:05:01,964 --> 00:05:03,399
Wait a minute, why am I...
107
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,801
- It's not boring!
- You said nitty gritty.
108
00:05:05,802 --> 00:05:08,302
I did not find an ounce of nit nor grit.
109
00:05:08,304 --> 00:05:09,404
And I was down to get dirty,
110
00:05:09,405 --> 00:05:11,571
and there was no
dirty to be downed.
111
00:05:11,573 --> 00:05:13,540
Where's all the action
you were talking about?
112
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:17,511
The action is slicing
through bureaucratic red tape,
113
00:05:17,513 --> 00:05:19,613
battling city hall over permits,
114
00:05:19,615 --> 00:05:22,364
while wrestling with the budget!
115
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:25,419
Yeah...
Uh, all we're saying is
116
00:05:25,421 --> 00:05:27,654
maybe in between
the egg-head action,
117
00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:31,458
- someone could shoot someone.
- Or sever a limb with a battle Axe.
118
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:32,760
While in a high-speed chase.
119
00:05:32,761 --> 00:05:35,062
People can be entertained
without violence.
120
00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:37,398
Yeah, we just don't want
to hang out with those people.
121
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,135
- I refuse to pander!
- Ooh. A giant pander would be cool.
122
00:05:43,372 --> 00:05:46,005
I found some things
we can use as game pieces.
123
00:05:46,007 --> 00:05:47,808
I... I got three bottle caps
124
00:05:47,810 --> 00:05:51,044
and a dried circle of ketchup
I scraped off a dinner plate.
125
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,279
Never mind that.
126
00:05:53,281 --> 00:05:55,749
I just bought a box
of Prairie Leader Cookies.
127
00:05:55,751 --> 00:05:57,351
They'll be perfect for game pucks.
128
00:05:57,352 --> 00:06:00,386
Now we're cookin' with coconut.
129
00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:02,221
And since you solved
our little puck problem,
130
00:06:02,223 --> 00:06:05,559
- you can go first.
- Alrighty.
131
00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:07,595
What the hell was that?
132
00:06:07,596 --> 00:06:09,897
I'm setting up scouts.
King me!
133
00:06:09,898 --> 00:06:12,500
- That's not how you play.
- Well, then, how do you play?
134
00:06:12,501 --> 00:06:13,901
First you build a tower,
135
00:06:13,902 --> 00:06:16,202
and each player tries
to pull a cookie out
136
00:06:16,204 --> 00:06:17,904
without making it fall.
137
00:06:17,905 --> 00:06:20,106
- That's Jenga.
- Oh.
138
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:21,575
You pinch one puck with another
139
00:06:21,576 --> 00:06:22,876
to make it flip through the air.
140
00:06:22,877 --> 00:06:25,579
- That's tiddly winks!
- Oh. Uh...
141
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:27,646
You roll a puck across the board.
142
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,414
If it falls before it reaches the end,
143
00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:30,951
you have to chase me
around the table
144
00:06:30,952 --> 00:06:33,018
and catch me before
I get back to my seat.
145
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:36,421
That's...
I have no idea what that is.
146
00:06:37,592 --> 00:06:40,259
Are these the chocolate coated
cookies with mint filling?
147
00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:42,796
No. They're the chocolate
and vanilla kind.
148
00:06:42,797 --> 00:06:44,931
- Hmm.
- You were right.
149
00:06:44,932 --> 00:06:48,101
There's something very unnatural
about Davis' lack of anger.
150
00:06:48,102 --> 00:06:51,103
Which is why I think
we should make him mad.
151
00:06:51,105 --> 00:06:52,672
Why would we do that?
152
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:55,941
Think of all that stress
building up in him with no outlet.
153
00:06:55,942 --> 00:06:59,612
I had a cousin who had a heart
attack at 40 because of stress.
154
00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:01,613
Wasn't he the one who worked
as a bacon tester?
155
00:07:01,615 --> 00:07:03,049
At the pork factory?
156
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,250
Yeah, and when his doctor
157
00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:06,719
made him quit smoking,
the stress killed him.
158
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,953
But you're talking about
purposely provoking
159
00:07:08,955 --> 00:07:12,824
a giant of a man
who carries a big stick and a gun.
160
00:07:12,826 --> 00:07:14,460
For his own health.
161
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:17,029
I'm also considering
the health of bystanders,
162
00:07:17,031 --> 00:07:19,631
some of whom spend
eight to 12 hours a day
163
00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:21,833
working right beside him.
164
00:07:21,835 --> 00:07:25,320
But if we do it in a controlled
way, we can prevent him
165
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:28,806
from blowing up over something
stupid someday in the future.
166
00:07:28,808 --> 00:07:30,375
I don't like the chocolate ones.
167
00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:33,406
- Could I buy half...
- Just buy a box already!
168
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:34,664
Aah!
169
00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:42,819
I'll admit it. I might have
been a little precious earlier,
170
00:07:42,821 --> 00:07:45,322
so I made some small
tweaks to the game.
171
00:07:45,324 --> 00:07:48,693
I don't see much difference.
There's still no thrills.
172
00:07:48,694 --> 00:07:50,328
Yeah, where's
the adrenaline rush?
173
00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:51,829
Where's the adrenaline rush?
174
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:54,665
Player 1 has to make it
to city hall
175
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,833
before the permit office closes.
176
00:07:56,835 --> 00:08:00,338
Does she wait for the walk light?
Does she jaywalk?
177
00:08:00,339 --> 00:08:03,807
And she's running
4.5 miles an hour!
178
00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:06,243
- In heels!
- How is that conflict?
179
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:08,613
Look down, idiot!
Subway grate.
180
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:09,948
Yeah, but there's no battling.
181
00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:12,843
At the very least, give us
a physical altercation.
182
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:14,985
Fine, I'll show you.
183
00:08:14,987 --> 00:08:17,020
One side, citizen!
184
00:08:17,022 --> 00:08:18,389
Stand right, walk left.
185
00:08:18,390 --> 00:08:20,691
Ha! She nearly knocked him
to the ground!
186
00:08:20,693 --> 00:08:23,511
Talk about full tilt.
187
00:08:24,196 --> 00:08:27,197
Wait!
Did you miss the giant panda?
188
00:08:27,199 --> 00:08:29,648
I took your note!
189
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:33,668
Why the sigh, cherry pie?
190
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:37,773
- I have two flat tires on my car.
- Wow. Who the... I mean...
191
00:08:37,774 --> 00:08:40,943
what happened there?
You're having quite the day.
192
00:08:40,944 --> 00:08:43,278
Wouldn't blame you
for getting angry.
193
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:46,349
- Why is there a punching bag here?
- Lacey lent it to me.
194
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,750
I just hung it up there for now.
195
00:08:48,752 --> 00:08:50,818
Flat tires, huh? Grr.
196
00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:52,921
And what's with all
the clown noses?
197
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,490
Those are stress balls.
198
00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:57,426
I got a deal on a whole box.
Here, try one.
199
00:08:57,427 --> 00:09:00,029
- Ow!
- Sorry. Here's another one.
200
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,597
- Hey!
- And another.
201
00:09:01,598 --> 00:09:03,766
- What are you doing? Karen, stop it!
- And another.
202
00:09:05,602 --> 00:09:06,535
What are you laughing at?
203
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:09,069
I just realized how ironic it was
204
00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:12,707
that I was getting stressed
at being hit by stress balls.
205
00:09:12,709 --> 00:09:15,109
Stress? Balls?
206
00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:17,478
Ow! Ooh.
207
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,216
- Get it?
- Yeah. Hilarious.
208
00:09:21,217 --> 00:09:23,918
The rules must be here somewhere.
209
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,986
I can't believe you saved
all these instructions.
210
00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:28,556
Half of them are appliance manuals.
211
00:09:28,558 --> 00:09:32,527
"Congratulations on taking
your first step into the future
212
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,462
with the Crumb King 200"?
213
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:37,966
- Why are you reading that?
- Golden crisp booster button?
214
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:41,803
This was six toasters ago.
Hoard much?
215
00:09:46,775 --> 00:09:49,076
Still working on your game?
216
00:09:49,078 --> 00:09:51,011
Silent treatment.
I get it.
217
00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:52,647
All because someone tried
218
00:09:52,648 --> 00:09:55,249
to help someone make
someone's game better.
219
00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:58,252
It's too bad, because someone
took time out of someone's day
220
00:09:58,254 --> 00:10:01,056
to make someone
a list of suggestions for someone.
221
00:10:01,057 --> 00:10:02,723
If someone hears
someone's suggestions,
222
00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:05,160
- will someone shut up?
- Let's find out.
223
00:10:05,161 --> 00:10:07,328
You know what's missing
in every cityscape game?
224
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:09,397
- A super-keen dork?
- The country.
225
00:10:09,398 --> 00:10:10,765
The city is so limiting.
226
00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:12,933
Create more of a world, if you will.
227
00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:17,204
A fantastical world, with...
Ogres!
228
00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:19,005
Why is the ogre wearing glasses?
229
00:10:19,007 --> 00:10:20,874
I have a whole
back story for that,
230
00:10:20,876 --> 00:10:22,443
but it's too much to get into.
231
00:10:22,444 --> 00:10:24,779
Okay.
Cow dung, near-sighted ogres.
232
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:27,047
- Got it, thanks.
- No, no, there's more.
233
00:10:27,048 --> 00:10:28,716
Planning on a picnic in the park?
234
00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:31,217
The forecast is sunny,
with a chance of...
235
00:10:31,219 --> 00:10:35,288
- Dragon!
- The dragon also wears glasses.
236
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:38,338
- Glasses are cool.
- Are they?
237
00:10:39,327 --> 00:10:41,361
Oh, that really hurt.
238
00:10:41,363 --> 00:10:45,331
I have no idea how that tack
got on your chair.
239
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,735
- How ya feeling, buddy?
- Anxious.
240
00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:50,068
But nothing a nice cup
of Splendid Serenity
241
00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:53,005
and some Prairie Leader cookies
won't cure.
242
00:10:53,007 --> 00:10:56,709
- Where are my cookies?
- Oh, I helped myself to a few of them.
243
00:10:56,711 --> 00:10:58,744
I mean, all of them.
244
00:10:58,746 --> 00:11:01,614
You're not angry, are you?
245
00:11:01,616 --> 00:11:03,549
Flat tire, tack in the ass,
246
00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:06,887
I bagged him with a stress ball.
Zero anger!
247
00:11:06,888 --> 00:11:08,921
I even ate all his
Prairie Leader Cookies,
248
00:11:08,923 --> 00:11:11,591
- and I hate the chocolate ones.
- I'll take it from here.
249
00:11:11,592 --> 00:11:14,994
"Hungry" is one letter away
from "hangry,"
250
00:11:14,996 --> 00:11:18,030
which has the word "angry"
right in it.
251
00:11:18,032 --> 00:11:22,668
- You ever notice that?
- Yeah. That's what that is.
252
00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:24,602
Get ready to light
this lavender candle
253
00:11:24,604 --> 00:11:26,771
when Davis explodes.
254
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:30,376
- Hungry, Davis?
- Hungry Hungry Davis!
255
00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:31,677
I'll have a tuna melt.
256
00:11:31,678 --> 00:11:34,813
- Sorry, we're out.
- Okay. Clubhouse sandwich.
257
00:11:34,814 --> 00:11:35,981
We're out of that too.
258
00:11:35,982 --> 00:11:38,851
- Oh. What's the soup?
- It's the one you hate.
259
00:11:38,852 --> 00:11:41,720
Aw, I hate that one.
Plate of fries?
260
00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:45,823
Nope, deep fryer's broken.
All we have is liver and onions.
261
00:11:45,825 --> 00:11:49,962
Liver and onions, gross!
I'm starving here.
262
00:11:49,963 --> 00:11:52,230
Get that candle ready.
263
00:11:52,232 --> 00:11:54,632
Davis, you play
games on your computer.
264
00:11:54,634 --> 00:11:57,303
- Show us how to play Crokinole.
- Cookies!
265
00:11:57,304 --> 00:11:59,004
Don't!
266
00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:01,574
- Mm.
- What are you doing?
267
00:12:01,575 --> 00:12:04,163
You're supposed to use them
as game pieces.
268
00:12:04,678 --> 00:12:06,378
Dammit!
269
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,817
- Those Brent's ideas?
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,052
I have some ideas too.
271
00:12:13,053 --> 00:12:14,986
If you're nice to me,
I'll show 'em to you.
272
00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:16,888
So I guess I'll never see them.
273
00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:20,091
Okay, you don't have to be nice.
Just look at my ideas. Please?
274
00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:21,393
Okay, toilet tank, show me.
275
00:12:21,394 --> 00:12:23,327
- "Toilet tank"?
- We had a deal?
276
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:24,463
Fair enough.
277
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:27,331
Okay, every city
has its element of crime...
278
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:30,416
Stop. I'm not putting
bank robbers, mafia goons,
279
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:34,072
- and prostitute assassins in my game.
- But that's the reality we live in!
280
00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:36,741
At least put in a car chase.
People speed, right?
281
00:12:36,742 --> 00:12:38,843
- Average people?
- Okay.
282
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:40,112
And sometimes people get angry
283
00:12:40,113 --> 00:12:43,847
- and speed after the speeders.
- That's not untrue.
284
00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:46,683
And maybe some of
those people carry guns.
285
00:12:46,685 --> 00:12:49,187
- Forget it!
- But if you're using Brent's ideas,
286
00:12:49,188 --> 00:12:51,589
then they're going to need guns
to protect themselves
287
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,159
from four-eyed ogres
and nerd dragons.
288
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:58,329
- I was considering Brent's ideas...
- Check these out.
289
00:12:59,031 --> 00:13:01,999
Wow, you really know
how to paint a picture.
290
00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:04,046
Actually, I just used pencil.
291
00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:09,606
- What are you doing?
- I'm Yahooing the rules to Crokinole.
292
00:13:09,608 --> 00:13:14,210
Player 1 tries to shoot
their disc into the 20-hole.
293
00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:18,114
If it doesn't land in the hole,
it stays in play in the 15 zone.
294
00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:19,049
What the hell does that mean?
295
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:22,152
There's a video.
Clink on that.
296
00:13:22,154 --> 00:13:26,157
Welcome to the world champion
Crokinole final in Sussex, England.
297
00:13:26,158 --> 00:13:28,758
Nigel Conlon
and St. John Bonrad-Walmsly
298
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,394
are locked in heated battle,
299
00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:31,928
Bonrad-Walmsly in the lead,
300
00:13:31,929 --> 00:13:33,896
and holding the hammer in the fifth.
301
00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:36,900
This is for all the quid.
Let's watch.
302
00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,772
It just goes on and on.
303
00:13:42,774 --> 00:13:45,407
It's like watching
British paint dry.
304
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,878
In slow motion,
with all the windows closed.
305
00:13:47,879 --> 00:13:51,081
- I need some wine.
- Bring me some whiskey.
306
00:13:51,082 --> 00:13:52,782
The good stuff,
from under the sink!
307
00:13:53,985 --> 00:13:57,453
- You wanted to talk to me?
- Yes. I had some time to think
308
00:13:57,454 --> 00:13:59,421
as I was choking down
my liver and onions,
309
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:02,424
and I realized I have a serious
problem to deal with.
310
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:03,794
Oh, thank god.
311
00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:06,261
Acknowledging the problem
is half the battle, Davis.
312
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,397
And I just want you to know
that Karen and I are here
313
00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:10,199
to help you with your anger issues.
314
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:11,201
What?
315
00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:12,569
There are ways to deal with it.
316
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:14,770
We have more than enough
stress balls at the office,
317
00:14:14,772 --> 00:14:16,073
and Karen, I think you should
318
00:14:16,074 --> 00:14:18,941
give Lacey back her punching bag.
She needs it.
319
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,975
Lacey doesn't have anger issues.
320
00:14:20,977 --> 00:14:23,746
- Maybe a bit of a short fuse...
- Zip it, Karen!
321
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:26,114
Davis, you're the one
with anger issues.
322
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:27,583
Or... lack of.
323
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:30,485
- Yeah. You never get angry.
- I get angry.
324
00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:31,821
No, you don't.
325
00:14:31,822 --> 00:14:34,823
Looking back, I can't think
of a single episode.
326
00:14:34,825 --> 00:14:36,791
Episode?
Like a TV episode?
327
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,928
Like an incident.
A specific situation.
328
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,263
That is a weird way of phrasing it.
329
00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:45,600
Oh, my god,
I've never been angry.
330
00:14:45,602 --> 00:14:46,702
That makes me so...
331
00:14:46,703 --> 00:14:49,704
- Angry?
- ...sad.
332
00:14:49,773 --> 00:14:53,225
- Come on!
- Now I'm scared.
333
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,373
It's not the worst thing in
the world to not be angry.
334
00:14:59,374 --> 00:15:00,974
It's not the greatest, either.
335
00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:04,476
Without anger, I'm just
some kind of pacifist freak.
336
00:15:04,478 --> 00:15:07,380
But, now that you're
aware, you can fix it.
337
00:15:07,382 --> 00:15:08,648
Maybe talk to someone.
338
00:15:08,649 --> 00:15:10,416
I am!
I'm talking to you guys.
339
00:15:10,418 --> 00:15:13,586
And I'm getting panicky.
And nauseous.
340
00:15:13,587 --> 00:15:16,311
Uh-oh, here comes
the liver and onions.
341
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,491
Mission accomplished.
342
00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:21,327
The new version of my game
is finally finished.
343
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,062
What?
You were gone 40 minutes.
344
00:15:23,064 --> 00:15:26,564
Explain to me how you were able
to program all those changes that fast.
345
00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:28,599
First, I patched a collection
of off-the-shelf tools
346
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:31,804
to reduce the incidence of open bugs
and stabilize the code,
347
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,440
- creating a frictionless...
- Whoa, whoa, I think you're forgetting
348
00:15:34,441 --> 00:15:36,341
I don't know
what any of those words mean.
349
00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:38,310
I just added a smattering
of your fantasy ideas
350
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,412
and some of the street crime
that Hank wanted,
351
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:42,580
then wrapped it all up
into the farming industry.
352
00:15:42,582 --> 00:15:45,817
Gentlemen, I present
to you my new game...
353
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,153
Grain Theft Ogre!
354
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,588
- No way!
- Awesome!
355
00:15:49,589 --> 00:15:52,857
I also created a cool way
to personalize your characters
356
00:15:52,859 --> 00:15:56,761
by using digital scans
of your actual faces.
357
00:15:57,897 --> 00:16:01,666
- Ugh. That looks fake.
- Who has lips that big?
358
00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,968
Ooh, okay, that is a creep show.
359
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:07,271
All right, scrub that.
We'll work the kinks out later.
360
00:16:07,273 --> 00:16:08,973
Why do I have Grey whiskers?
361
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:14,045
I don't understand.
We used to love this game.
362
00:16:14,046 --> 00:16:18,115
Just keep playing.
Maybe it'll put us to sleep.
363
00:16:18,117 --> 00:16:21,169
Oscar Leroy in the final match
of the "Who Gives A Crap"
364
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:24,868
Crokinole Championship
from Blandville, Borington...
365
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:33,999
- I bet you can't do that again.
- I'll take that action.
366
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,401
If you miss, you have
to take a drink, and...
367
00:16:38,403 --> 00:16:41,238
- eat a radish.
- A radish?
368
00:16:41,239 --> 00:16:44,641
You're on.
Buckle up, buttercup!
369
00:16:45,777 --> 00:16:48,378
So you lack the ability
to process an emotion.
370
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:52,516
- Is that so bad?
- Actually, most serial killers have that.
371
00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:56,152
Where's my anger?
I'm all Bruce Banner and no Hulk.
372
00:16:56,154 --> 00:16:57,888
All Beethoven and no Cujo.
373
00:16:57,890 --> 00:17:00,624
Deep breaths, Davis.
You're starting to hyperventilate.
374
00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:04,061
- Plus, those were two different dogs.
- This is your fault.
375
00:17:04,062 --> 00:17:05,762
You should have left
well enough alone.
376
00:17:07,332 --> 00:17:09,833
This is pretty cool.
So what's my character again?
377
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:12,769
You're a farmer ogre,
and you hired Stickman
378
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:16,272
to deliver and sell your grain,
but you find him in the city,
379
00:17:16,274 --> 00:17:18,374
having gambled away all your gold.
380
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:21,445
- That dirty bastard.
- And what's my story?
381
00:17:21,446 --> 00:17:25,479
You're a slimeball stickman very
close to getting an ogre beating.
382
00:17:27,718 --> 00:17:29,653
High-speed truck chase!
Whoo-hoo!
383
00:17:29,654 --> 00:17:33,156
- Try and catch me, four-eyes!
- Now it gets good.
384
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:36,725
Here, the ogre has the option
of contacting authorities
385
00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:42,566
and filing an F4-8 claim to
compensate for lost property, or...
386
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,566
...punch out the mailman
and take his truck.
387
00:17:44,568 --> 00:17:46,001
You're dead, Stickman!
388
00:17:46,002 --> 00:17:50,105
No one's ever going to choose
the F4-8 option, are they?
389
00:17:53,477 --> 00:17:55,243
I don't know why you're
upset with me.
390
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:56,712
I was only trying to help.
391
00:17:56,713 --> 00:17:59,148
Maybe Davis should breathe
into this paper bag.
392
00:17:59,149 --> 00:18:00,550
Kinda busy here, Mavis!
393
00:18:00,551 --> 00:18:03,017
Look how she flies
off the handle like that.
394
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:05,253
You're so lucky to have
anger issues, Lacey.
395
00:18:05,255 --> 00:18:08,623
- I don't have anger issues!
- Let's take you for little walk.
396
00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,393
If anyone has issues, it's you,
397
00:18:11,395 --> 00:18:15,331
- you emotionally stunted weirdo!
- No one likes a bully.
398
00:18:15,332 --> 00:18:17,999
Yeah, well, no one
likes your cookies.
399
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,337
I'm sorry.
They kind of like the vanilla ones.
400
00:18:23,339 --> 00:18:26,673
Try and snick a cookie in my mouth
401
00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:29,176
when I have two radishes in it.
402
00:18:30,146 --> 00:18:32,113
Butter up, buckercup.
403
00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:39,853
This is the best game ever.
404
00:18:39,855 --> 00:18:43,290
Way better when you're drunk
and make up your own rules.
405
00:18:43,292 --> 00:18:44,926
Wait, that's what
we used to do
406
00:18:44,927 --> 00:18:47,060
with all the games we played.
407
00:18:47,062 --> 00:18:49,663
Right, we turned them
into drinking games!
408
00:18:49,665 --> 00:18:53,134
We don't like games!
We like drinking.
409
00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:56,337
Whoo!
410
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:02,176
This game is super responsive.
411
00:19:02,177 --> 00:19:05,379
Yeah. Zero lag time.
Dragon!
412
00:19:06,181 --> 00:19:08,683
- Lava-bomb spitting dragon!
- Whoa!
413
00:19:08,684 --> 00:19:11,718
Now you have the option
of calling a dragon control officer
414
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:15,355
- to safely remove...
- Lightning blast!
415
00:19:15,357 --> 00:19:17,157
Or just try and kill it.
416
00:19:17,159 --> 00:19:19,493
Hey, guys.
Is it okay if we hang out?
417
00:19:19,494 --> 00:19:20,828
Davis needs to unwind.
418
00:19:20,829 --> 00:19:22,729
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come play Wanda's game.
419
00:19:22,731 --> 00:19:24,820
- It'll take your mind off things.
- Good idea.
420
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,540
- Come on, buddy, let's check it out.
- I don't know.
421
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:30,670
- What do I do?
- First you gotta run away from Brent.
422
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:33,374
- Go! Go! Go!
- Keep an eye out for that dragon!
423
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,676
- Duck!
- Up up, down down, B, then A.
424
00:19:35,677 --> 00:19:37,144
That's how you lightning-blast
the dragon.
425
00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:39,112
I don't want to blast him.
I like dragons.
426
00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:41,882
Then call dragon control instead.
Activate your wrist phone!
427
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:44,885
Davis, I want to apologize
for my behaviour.
428
00:19:44,886 --> 00:19:46,686
Davis needs to take a minute.
429
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:47,988
- Don't you, partner?
- Huh?
430
00:19:47,989 --> 00:19:49,590
Up up. Down down.
Chop chop.
431
00:19:49,591 --> 00:19:51,992
- Wrist phone! 311!
- Davis?
432
00:19:51,993 --> 00:19:55,296
- You can talk to Davis later.
- Davis! The dragon's got your stick legs!
433
00:19:55,297 --> 00:19:57,431
- Up, down, left left!
- Up, down, left left.
434
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,300
You did it!
You killed the dragon!
435
00:20:01,302 --> 00:20:05,371
No!
I'm... in... a...
436
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:08,473
bad... place...
right... now!
437
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,211
- You got angry!
- I got angry!
438
00:20:11,212 --> 00:20:14,079
I did it!
♪ He got angry! ♪
439
00:20:14,081 --> 00:20:17,149
- ♪ I got angry ♪
- He got angry!
440
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,152
You have that backed up
somewhere, don't you?
441
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:25,424
Of course I do...
on that laptop.
442
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:34,862
- Ooh. Someone had a wild night.
- Shh. Crokinole.
443
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:37,061
- Shh.
- Shh.
444
00:20:37,062 --> 00:20:39,997
So, are you re-programming
your game on your new laptop?
445
00:20:39,998 --> 00:20:42,266
Nope.
I found a game of pong online.
446
00:20:42,267 --> 00:20:45,301
- Wanna play?
- The grand-daddy of video games.
447
00:20:45,303 --> 00:20:46,870
Too bad they never expanded on it,
448
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:50,373
- you know, characters 'n' such.
- Use your imagination.
449
00:20:53,577 --> 00:20:55,344
Hey, it works!
450
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:02,164
What?
Do I have something on my face?
451
00:21:07,281 --> 00:21:08,782
♪ I don't know ♪
452
00:21:08,783 --> 00:21:11,718
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
453
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:17,056
♪ I don't know ♪
454
00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:20,226
♪ I just... don't know ♪
455
00:21:22,096 --> 00:21:25,998
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ It's a great big place ♪
456
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,535
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
457
00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:33,605
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ And it's my happy place ♪
458
00:21:33,607 --> 00:21:36,208
♪ I don't know ♪
459
00:21:37,065 --> 00:21:40,206
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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