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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,133 -Previously on Wynonna Earp: -A kid is missing. 2 00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,657 -I'm retiring. -To Sheriff Nicole Haught! 3 00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,616 -Charlie. 4 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,531 This you flirting? 5 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,751 -My baby daddy is married to a vampire. -I don't like you at all. 6 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,666 -Stop pretending... 7 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,147 that this isn't what you came here for. 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,150 : He was kind, honest. His name was Julian. 9 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,066 -My dad was an angel. -You were born out of love. 10 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:26,548 -We can find Julian if you want. 11 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:39,039 Okay, this is the last time we're doing this. 12 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:42,085 Since we both have such stressful jobs and everything, 13 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:44,087 we could keep doing this to take the edge off. 14 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,132 No. 15 00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,439 I'm all edge, Charlie. If you can't handle that... 16 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,360 You may handle me however you please. 17 00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,539 Good morning, guys. I'm Deputy Nicole Haught and I am here... 18 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,628 -Shitty-shit-shit! -Whoa, whoa. 19 00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,369 I thought that was going pretty good. 20 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,111 -How's Purgatory's finest this morning? -Here we go. 21 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,374 Thank you, sincerely, for all that you do. 22 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,202 I know it's not an easy job. 23 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,639 Nedley calls us hose jockeys. 24 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,556 Uh, Sheriff Nedley's sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired. 25 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,777 And rest assured, when I am Sheriff, 26 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,562 you will be both respected and supported. 27 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,522 I will also pre-order a dozen of your calendars. 28 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,264 I'm April this year. 29 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,397 Happy Easter to me. 30 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,225 I had no idea Officer Haught was your sister's girlfriend. That's so weird. 31 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,488 You're not one of those "Adam and Eve, 32 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,403 not Adam and Steve" people, are you? 33 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:42,232 God, no. Purgatory Pride's my favourite event of the year. 34 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,278 Purgatory has a Pride? 35 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:47,150 Yeah. We painted the fire-engine rainbow. 36 00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,849 Nicole warned me about you. 37 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:53,461 -No, that you're a hot mess. 38 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:56,507 Well, it's better than a cold... tidy. 39 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,296 This was fun. 40 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:04,776 Thanks for the, uh... 41 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,866 -That's gross. 42 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,219 Heat? 43 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,136 -Ah... Nah. 44 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:19,748 Was that me? 45 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,758 Nothing to see here. 46 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:33,457 Just an adult woman with adult-woman needs leaving... a fire hall. 47 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:37,548 -Let me guess: you need a ride. -I had a ride. I need a nap. 48 00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,202 And a... ride. 49 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,813 So you and Doc, not a thing anymore? 50 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,511 We were never a thing. 51 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,643 And I haven't seen him for a week. 52 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,829 Burns like a mother! 53 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,919 Oh... 54 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,714 What have I done? 55 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,717 Bulshar's ring is rejecting you, 56 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,198 now that you're compromised. 57 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,505 Don't worry, my love. 58 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:25,205 Now we're linked together forever. 59 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,858 Just like you wanted. 60 00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,387 Just like I wanted. 61 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,657 ♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪ 62 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,528 ♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪ 63 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:48,967 ♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪ 64 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:54,669 ♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪♪ 65 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,455 ♪ Drink up brothers Drink up ♪ 66 00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:00,718 ♪ All you sexy mothers 67 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,285 ♪ OTPSI 68 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,069 What's with the children's choir? 69 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,898 It's a bunch of Omicron Tau Psis slumming it from the big city. 70 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:09,249 We confiscated their party bus this morning. 71 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:12,252 -The deeply committed. 72 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,734 Ah... Drink up, friends. Drink up, brothers. 73 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:20,347 Drink up, all you sexy... mothers. 74 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,306 -Maybe later. -Mm. Sorry, I... 75 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,829 I dozed off. 76 00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,744 -Since closing down the abattoir, 77 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:29,747 thereby rescuing my tall-n'-jazzy, maybe-kinda boyfriend, 78 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,533 I've been trying to figure out where Bulshar could've moved his operation. 79 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:33,925 Nice! 80 00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:36,406 Also, when was the last time you went home? 81 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,842 Or ate? 82 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:40,454 Oh, that depends. What day is it? 83 00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,282 We're gonna need to get you a falafel. 84 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,893 -Push with your legs! -Shut up with your mouth. 85 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,895 Am I finally gonna see your sex cave? 86 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,637 It's more of a closet. 87 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,466 Retired Nedley is kinky. 88 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:56,296 Everything in there I seized from crime scenes that didn't feel kosher. 89 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,906 Ones with supernatural element. 90 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,777 Why didn't you turn them over to Dolls? 91 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:03,390 Well, initially, I wasn't sure I could trust him. Now I know. 92 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,657 Whoa. 93 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:13,530 How long have you been hiding this stuff? 94 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,663 Since I became Sheriff. 95 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,882 Oh... we're gonna find dinosaur bones. 96 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,449 Ha-ha. 97 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,669 It's up to you two to decide what to keep, what to burn. 98 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:25,499 Huh. It's like Hoarders meets Storage Wars. And I, for one, am here for it. 99 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,371 How you making out with getting city council's stamp of approval? 100 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,330 Well, Bunny Loblaw won't return my calls. 101 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,896 That stuck-up Tuesday's still around? 102 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:36,336 Yep. And reigning over city council with an iron fistula. 103 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,339 Bunny Loblaw's the real king-maker here in Purgatory. 104 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,906 And she won't return your calls because she's a bully. 105 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,865 Bullies smell fear, they just get more vicious. 106 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,563 -Yeah, dummy, everyone knows that. -Ow...! 107 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,522 You get her on your own turf, you look her dead in the eye 108 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,089 and you tell her that you're the only person for the job. 109 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,049 You're right. I am going to call her 110 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,660 and I'm gonna set up a meeting. 111 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,402 Bunny's gonna eat her for lunch. 112 00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,970 -Nedley, are you looking at my ass? -No. 113 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,845 Mm. This'll have to do. 114 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,634 You shouldn't sneak around 115 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:16,637 when there's a gun-toting mental patient on the loose. 116 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,380 -Well, I thought we were friends. 117 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,383 You bailed right in the middle of my Christmas feast. 118 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,083 You find my Brussels sprouts offensive? 119 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:34,002 I do apologize, ma'am, but... something came up. 120 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,133 Oh. 121 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,012 You're gonna make it up to me. 122 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668 I fear this is about to get weird. 123 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,888 Don't worry. I'll drive if you're tired. 124 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,456 I do not understand. 125 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,110 I need to get out of here. 126 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,068 Just for a little while. 127 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,984 -Cabin fever. -You don't know the half of it. 128 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,073 Oh, I just might. 129 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,816 Okay... let's go, 130 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,557 before I roll you for the keys. 131 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,959 -Urn. Nice. -Okay. 132 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:21,092 But is it supernatural? 133 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:22,485 Supernaturally oogly. 134 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,095 Can you check this out? I... 135 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,749 I found Nedley's old police memo. 136 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,100 "November 9, 1996. Raccoon stuck in drop ceiling." 137 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:33,017 "Call cleared, but now require rabies shot." 138 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:36,064 Wynonna, can you, like, a little help here, please? 139 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,764 -Oh, my God, never... -Holy shit! Baby Nedley. 140 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,940 When you're done with story time, can you do some actual work? 141 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,899 Nicole, you're a smart-ish girl. 142 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,553 Surely you've figured out by now that this whole 143 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,946 "cleaning out the secret locker" job is bullshit. 144 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,166 Nedley made it up to make us practice working together. 145 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,473 -He Parent Trapped us. -None of this stuff matters. 146 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:56,476 And it sure as hell isn't gonna help us with our Bulshar problem. 147 00:07:56,519 --> 00:08:00,131 Alright, well, you might be fine to sit on your ass and do nothing, but I'm not. 148 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,482 Especially after what he did to Dolls. 149 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,791 -Yes. -Fine, Nicole. 150 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,141 -Thank you. -No problem. 151 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,492 -Crap. 152 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:14,581 Crap. 153 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,628 Definitely crap. Not crap. 154 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,978 -More crap! -Wynonna, you're being reckless! 155 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,545 -Super crap. -Whoa! 156 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,982 You know what, Deputy Dipshit, that's kinda my brand, 157 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,549 and it's been working fine so far. 158 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,856 God, I am so sick of your attitude! 159 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:36,080 Smooth move, Ginger Spice. You just earned yourself seven years' bad luck. 160 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,761 -Hey, Tayla, you seen Doc around lately? -No. 161 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,242 I'll have a whiskey. Leave the bottle. 162 00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,899 Whatcha got there, Sheriff? 163 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,684 Ginger ale. And it's just Randy now. 164 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,252 Didn't peg you for a teetotaller, Just Randy. 165 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,690 Well, I'm still on duty. 166 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:23,606 Those drunken frat boys from the big city got me running my ass off. 167 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,783 One of the many, many jobs I won't miss when I retire. 168 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,177 Well, I won't tell if you won't. 169 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,223 Oh. 170 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,227 Look what I found for your retirement party slideshow. 171 00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,583 It's like your top lip is wearing a skinny tie. 172 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,325 How's it going in the evidence locker? 173 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,370 Ugh. 174 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,939 Nicole smashed some stuff. Big surprise. 175 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,768 Must hard to move around with a giant pickle up your ass. 176 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:58,946 -Give her some slack, Wynonna. -You know me. I love slack. 177 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,339 That chick is all work and no play. Next thing you know, 178 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:05,822 she's gonna be chopping people up with an axe like... that dude in the hotel. 179 00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,607 Dave at the Motor Inn? 180 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,306 -Him, too. -Well, go easy on Nicole. 181 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,398 You two have more in common than you think. 182 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,148 Well, it's worth a shot. 183 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,890 I guess. Okay. 184 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,199 Hi! Bunny. 185 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,853 Uh, come on in. 186 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,116 -I did. 187 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,815 Why? So you can rifle through the pockets? 188 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:46,689 Oh! What on God's flat earth is that? 189 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,649 Oh, that's just Calamity Jane. Please don't worry. She's super friendly. 190 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:52,782 I-I don't care what it is. Either she goes or I go. 191 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,132 I am deathly allergic! 192 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,656 Right. Okay. 193 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,963 Okay. Come on, girlie. 194 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,878 Calamity, you're getting fat. 195 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:06,100 -Okay, just make yourself cozy. One sec. I'll be right back. 196 00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,331 Disgusting. 197 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,167 I am sorry, ma'am. 198 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,692 Willa would've been very sorry about Willa. 199 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,302 That was always her first thought. 200 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,696 Willa was Ward's... pet. 201 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,916 God, she was... spoiled and she had a mean streak. 202 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,092 She'd have been a terrible heir. 203 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,053 She was just a child. 204 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,882 Yeah, she was my baby. 205 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,188 I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. 206 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,846 -Come on. 207 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,718 I'll tell you which way to turn. 208 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,024 Ms. Gibson. Michelle! It's freezing out here. 209 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,418 Oh, stop being a wiener. Come on. 210 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,941 Besides, I know you got a bottle of tequila 211 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,770 stashed under your seat, and that's gonna get us through. 212 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:11,774 So I have some great ideas on how to make the town safer 213 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,733 and the department run more efficiently. 214 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,865 Well, that's all well and good, Deputy Haught, 215 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,215 but my main concern is this. 216 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,783 Randy Nedley is full of shit. 217 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,046 -I am so sick and tired 218 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:27,355 of being kept in the dark about all the strange occurrences in Purgatory. 219 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:32,316 I won't be lied to about what's really going on in my town, under my nose. 220 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,103 -Well, you tell me. 221 00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:39,367 That's why I'm here. Unless you don't want to be sheriff. 222 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,934 And don't give me that hooey 223 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:45,982 about costume parties gone awry or zoo animals escaping. 224 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:51,248 Well, Bunny, um, Purgatory, it's a very unique... town 225 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,903 with... unique challenges. 226 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:57,167 Sorry to interrupt. Just need to talk to Deputy Tater Haught for a sec. 227 00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,039 Wynonna, this is really not a good time. 228 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,823 Actually, it's perfect timing. 229 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:04,827 Because I'm thinking of backing Wynonna for Sheriff. 230 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,438 You can't be serious. 231 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,832 I'm dead serious. 232 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,443 Wynonna, you are a straight-shooter. 233 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,142 -You're one tough bitch. -Hey-o. 234 00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:18,798 And the Earps are one of Purgatory's original families. 235 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,103 This one... 236 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:26,327 What Purgatory needs is a homegrown hero, 237 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:29,547 not some fly-by-night outsider, 238 00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:32,812 who, let's face it, is a little too... 239 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,292 ...different. 240 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:40,341 -Can I just... real quick, for a sec? -One sec. We'll just... 241 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,299 ...in the kitchen. 242 00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:46,129 Wait until Bunny finds out about Purgatory Pride. 243 00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,131 ! -Right! 244 00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:51,352 -Uh, it's about Nedley and you... -And me... 245 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:55,312 Did Buns Buns really just say I could be...? 246 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,140 Oh, no, you cannot take that job. 247 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,056 -I don't want that job. -Yeah, 'cause you would be a disaster. 248 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,493 -No shit, Not Sheriff. -You have no police training, 249 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:06,323 you're terrible with authority, you're not even qualified to run a Chipotle! 250 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:08,499 Guac You know what? 251 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:12,025 Maybe I'd like to be Sheriff Nedley 2 point uh-oh 252 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:14,331 I'm your boss after all. 253 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,421 Well, excuse me, but you can't even do one single assignment properly 254 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,076 without breaking a gazillion rules and a creepy-ass mirror in the process! 255 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,471 Oh, oh, oh, help! Isis! 256 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:29,564 What rules?! Purgatory is the goddamn Thunderdome and I'm Tina friggin' Turner! 257 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,871 ! -Point is, 258 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,960 you can wrap yourself up in the rules like a... 259 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,572 snug little blanket to keep you warm at night, but I'm gonna go get shit done. 260 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:41,619 Balls! Bunny's dead. 261 00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:46,059 -Calamity Jane! She's allergic! -Yeah. 262 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,105 Bunny? Hey. 263 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:53,022 -I know a dozen places we can hide the body. -Oh... oh... She's still alive. 264 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,328 Fine, I'll save them for next time. 265 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,633 Uh, her purse. Wynonna, get her purse! 266 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:58,636 -Yeah, cash. -No! Medication, Wynonna! 267 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,292 Ah, crap. 268 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:07,297 Oh! Is this Oxy?! Ow. 269 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,299 -Oh, the tea. -Oh! 270 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:14,043 Alright, Bunny, here we go, here we go. Swallow. 271 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:17,090 C'mon, c'mon, you old bat! Oh. 272 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,527 -Okay. 273 00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:24,227 -I don't need a doctor! 274 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,229 Okay. Let's put her in my cruiser. We'll get her faster 275 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,622 to the hospital with the lights and sirens on. 276 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,232 Don't take me to Purgatory General! 277 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,408 They have too many immigrant doctors! 278 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:34,368 -Okay, that's enough out of you. -Ow! Jeez! 279 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,110 -Go inside, get her purse. 280 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,242 No, I want to get her meds. The doctors need them to diagnose her. 281 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,070 Go, go, go! 282 00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,854 -Get her to the hospital and get the meds after. ! 283 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,378 -I will get them. You want something done right! -No, I will do it. 284 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:50,340 What is going on?! 285 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:57,478 You have gotta be freakin' kidding me! 286 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:02,483 -Look who needs my help now. 287 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,705 -Get in. 288 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,621 Dude, I have her keys. What about your truck? 289 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,972 Battery's dead. I blame your cat for that, too. 290 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,452 Okay, well, I should drive, because then we're not stealing Bunny's car, 291 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,106 we're just commandeering it for official police-- 292 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,587 -Bigger fish, Nicole. -Okay. 293 00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,982 Okay, great, I'll call Waverly. 294 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,157 -We're logging on now. : Hurry. 295 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,028 We need to make sure Bunny's okay. 296 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,509 Sorry, sorry, but it's... it's kind of funny. 297 00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,554 You guys have some terrible luck today. 298 00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:33,296 Like "black fly in your Chardonnay" kind of terrible. 299 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,516 : Speed it up, Jagged Little Nerd. 300 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:39,999 Okay. Pinging the cruiser's GPS, 301 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,479 and... good news! It's parked. 302 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,482 Bunny Nut Cheerios! You need to hurry. 303 00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,397 Later. 304 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:53,316 Ugh! Of course those two frat brats drove your car to a biker bar! 305 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,319 Yeah, well, maybe they're friendly bikers hosting a Golden Girls Trivia Night. 306 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:59,061 Well, Rose, we are not in St. Olaf anymore. 307 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,672 Get me outta here, you white-trash tart!! 308 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,414 You're feeling better. Try your handle. 309 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,503 -I am!! -It doesn't open from the inside. 310 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:09,245 It's a safety feature. Haven't you been arrested, like, 500 times?! 311 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:13,032 -Not the time, Nicole! -Luckily, I always have a spare key. 312 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,250 Oh, good. 313 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:20,039 -You are some kind of moron, Haught! 314 00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,216 Whoa! Bullet could ricochet and hit Bunny. 315 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,609 -I'm willing to take the risk. -Or us. 316 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:28,177 -Okay. -Why don't we just call the fire department? 317 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,049 -They can pop the door off. -No!! 318 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,094 -Do not do that. 319 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,749 -They'll never let us sheriffs live it down. 320 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,534 Yeah. We go in and find Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Douche, 321 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,449 we're in and out five minutes, tops. 322 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:42,409 If we get the keys, she'll never notice, we're good to go. Let's go. 323 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:45,586 Don't leave me in here, you sonsofbitches!! 324 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,588 You are gonna hear from my lawyer!! 325 00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:55,422 -We're outnumbered. -We don't want Bunny to think we went in guns blazing. 326 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:05,388 I couldn't wait to join the rodeo circuit and flee this shithole town. 327 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,564 Then I came back one... 328 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:11,394 long August weekend and I got drunk, pregnant. 329 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,266 Ended up marrying Ward Earp. 330 00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,312 Well, he did give you three beautiful daughters. 331 00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:20,099 No, he gave me two. Waverly was Julian's, remember? 332 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,104 What's it like, being with an angel? 333 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,627 What's it like being with a demon? 334 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:37,638 No, Julian made me feel like I didn't have to break my spirit to be happy. 335 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,468 -I do know what that is like. -Hmm. 336 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,513 The night Waverly was born... 337 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:48,518 ...Ward pushed Julian outside of the Ghost River Triangle. 338 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,608 It happened right here. 339 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,567 He's been lost ever since. 340 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,351 How do you know that? 341 00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,269 Bobo told me. 342 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,531 Del Rey 343 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,187 I did more than talk to him. 344 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,885 I gave him the Christmas dinner that you didn't want. 345 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:09,626 And his freedom. 346 00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:14,153 Are you out of your godforsaken mind, woman? 347 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:17,156 I think we've established, yes, sometimes. 348 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:21,290 -You have unleashed a monster. -Bulshar has risen, sweet cheeks. 349 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,857 These are end times. 350 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,512 It's gonna take monsters to fight a monster. 351 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:30,734 Bobo Del Rey has tried to kill your daughters multiple times. 352 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,693 Nobody's perfect. 353 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:36,262 You do not get to make those life-or-death decisions for them! 354 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,394 Who's gonna stop me? 355 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,743 You, Johnny Hank? 356 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,703 Mm. If necessary. 357 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:43,834 Well, good. 358 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,228 Seems like now we're finally talking. 359 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,318 -So here's my terms. : Yeah!!! 360 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:52,800 What should we do with these interlopers? 361 00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,195 Release them to the woods and hunt them down like dogs? 362 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,371 : Yeah!! -Or, or... 363 00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:02,679 we could eviscerate them right here on the bar. 364 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,814 Are you gonna stay late and clean up that mess? 365 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:09,512 'Cause I'm not. Suggestions? 366 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,341 Anyone else? 367 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,867 Yah-ha. That might be a good idea. 368 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,956 -Shhh-shhh. 369 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,611 Well, well, well. 370 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,613 Looks like today is our lucky day. 371 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:26,529 Seems the would-be sheriff and the heir 372 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,618 have decided to join us for a little drink. 373 00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,492 We were dumb to think we could pull a fast one on you. 374 00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,972 But I can tell you're men of sport. 375 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:39,412 And, you know, where's the sport in ripping Dumb and Doucher to shreds? 376 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,848 What are you proposin'? 377 00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:44,721 I'm proposing that you let them go, 378 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,027 and... 379 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:50,553 you and me and, uh, Deputy Haught to Trot here 380 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,772 have ourselves a little contest. 381 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,949 What are you good at? 382 00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,559 -Golden Girls Trivia. -Drinking. 383 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,649 You really wanna challenge me to a drinking contest? 384 00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,912 Mm-hmm. I do. 385 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,524 And... if we win, then you let us go. 386 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:08,876 -Then you... 387 00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:11,531 get to... kill us. 388 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,534 You could've just offered them cash. 389 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:17,580 I didn't work it out all the way to the end before I pitched it. 390 00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:20,279 You must be the stupidest heir yet. 391 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,324 Definitely in the top five. 392 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:24,761 -Okay. 393 00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,023 Let them Greeks go. 394 00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:31,028 You owe us. Take the cruiser and the old bag in the backseat and get to the hospital, okay? 395 00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:34,597 -Yes, ma'am. -Now... let's get pissed! 396 00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,904 : Yeah! 397 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,560 I'm worried. Neither of them are answering. 398 00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,997 Okay, wait, wait. Let's just recap. 399 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,305 First, Bunny has a heart attack at Nicole's. 400 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,872 -Yes. -Then the cruiser gets stolen with Bunny in it. 401 00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:52,006 Then it just happens to end up at a Revenant roadhouse? 402 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,965 Doesn't that sound spectacularly unlucky to you? 403 00:21:57,664 --> 00:21:59,666 Too unlucky to be a coincidence? 404 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,974 Mirror, mirror, on the floor... 405 00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:13,419 Maybe if we put it back together, their luck will change? 406 00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:14,855 Well, it can't get any worse. 407 00:22:14,898 --> 00:22:16,987 -Okay. -One... 408 00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:19,686 two, three, drink. 409 00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,519 Mm, is that all you got? 410 00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:29,696 Come on, fella, let's take this up a notch, huh? Grab the ouzo. 411 00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:31,698 I really wish you would stop helping. 412 00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:35,571 One, two, three, drink! 413 00:22:38,705 --> 00:22:40,359 -Ah! 414 00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,057 How you feeling there, Rolfy boy? 415 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,015 -I feel good. -Good. 416 00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:46,974 -I feel strong. 417 00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:50,760 -I failed college. You weigh, like, eight pounds. 418 00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,808 I like you. Ena, 419 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,940 dio, tria! 420 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,739 -Game over, lightweight! 421 00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:14,697 What? I swallowed it! 422 00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:17,396 And it came back up, which means you lose. Everybody knows that. 423 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:19,093 It's true, man. Everyone knows that. 424 00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:23,706 Well, we won fair and square. Uncuff us. 425 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,536 Hang on! 426 00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:31,932 You've been spitting your shots into this bottle. 427 00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:35,414 No, she hasn't. You haven't, right? 428 00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:37,894 -I learned it from Coyote Ugly. -Oh, I love that movie! 429 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:39,722 You broke the rules. 430 00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:41,898 Now I get to break your necks. 431 00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:43,987 -Ooh, good one. 432 00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:46,468 -Stop!! 433 00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,165 -Stop quipping and run! -Yep. 434 00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:50,429 Okay! 435 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,044 Hurry up! The cuff's chafing. 436 00:23:57,087 --> 00:24:00,917 -You're going too fast and I'm too drunk. -Ugh! 437 00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:05,661 -You are literally the worst! Go! -Climb! Climb! Climb! 438 00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:14,627 You found my mementos. 439 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,458 You mean, the souvenirs... of all the people you have killed? 440 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:21,808 -That's a vulgar way to put it. -It is the truth. 441 00:24:22,635 --> 00:24:23,679 Is it Wynonna you're helping? 442 00:24:25,768 --> 00:24:28,118 In a manner of speaking. 443 00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:31,992 She must be some woman if you're willing to give up one of your precious pistols. 444 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,995 It's sweet you think she'd want you now. 445 00:24:36,649 --> 00:24:39,086 You know how your jealousy bores me. 446 00:24:39,129 --> 00:24:40,217 As you really are. 447 00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:42,611 Wynonna helped make me as I am. 448 00:24:44,657 --> 00:24:47,703 I did! Because you asked me to! 449 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:52,186 My Henry. 450 00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:55,885 The greatest gunslinger that ever lived. 451 00:24:57,104 --> 00:24:58,627 A filthy, rotten scoundrel. 452 00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:03,719 All this helping and sacrificing she has you doing... 453 00:25:03,763 --> 00:25:07,027 -She thinks I can be better. 454 00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:08,289 It's beneath you. 455 00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:11,118 Wynonna is breaking your spirit. 456 00:25:12,206 --> 00:25:14,861 But I love you when you're at your worst. 457 00:25:16,863 --> 00:25:17,907 Maybe even more. 458 00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:25,219 Then you'll know... 459 00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:27,221 I'm not a man that does ultimatums. 460 00:25:28,004 --> 00:25:28,918 Or likes to choose. 461 00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:31,094 You have chosen. 462 00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:34,620 And you're mine, forever now. 463 00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:38,014 So go, tell the Earp heir. 464 00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:41,844 See if she welcomes you back into her bed. 465 00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,984 We wouldn't be in this mess if you just played by the rules! 466 00:25:51,027 --> 00:25:53,247 There are no rules in this shit-town. 467 00:25:53,290 --> 00:25:57,251 Nicole, if you wanna be all normal and law-abiding, do it somewhere else! 468 00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,861 You know what? Get your ass out of your head, Wynonna! 469 00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:00,863 You're not the only one who's been through stuff. 470 00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:04,258 Oh, right, I forgot. You survived a massacre. 471 00:26:05,738 --> 00:26:09,176 -Yeah, that one is legit as F. -You're right I did. 472 00:26:09,219 --> 00:26:12,614 And so I'm not about to die here handcuffed to a criminal! 473 00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:13,659 You, by the way. 474 00:26:13,702 --> 00:26:15,574 -Oh! Real mature! 475 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:18,620 You know what? You survived some shit, 476 00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,230 and I cannot wait for your TED Talk, 477 00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:23,103 but get back to me when you're cursed! 478 00:26:23,146 --> 00:26:24,974 -Jesus! 479 00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:26,976 -Mother bad-lucker, it's jammed. -Argh! 480 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,631 Not even like Space or strawberry, 481 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,241 but the bad kind of jam! 482 00:26:35,376 --> 00:26:40,599 Well, aren't you two a pair of catty little bitches? 483 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:41,948 I like it. 484 00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:44,733 All that animosity running through your veins... 485 00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:46,866 -You're basting in it. 486 00:26:46,909 --> 00:26:48,955 Oh, it'll make you taste so much better. 487 00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:54,656 -You be Scott. -You be Tessa. 488 00:27:09,715 --> 00:27:11,978 -We make a pretty good team. -Yeah, our chemistry's solid. 489 00:27:12,021 --> 00:27:13,849 -Ah! -Okay. 490 00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:15,808 -Yep. Exactly. 491 00:27:22,989 --> 00:27:26,296 As much as I love a feel-good ending, this ain't it. 492 00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:27,646 Any last words? 493 00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,909 -I miss Macaulay Culkin! -Tell Waverly I love her! 494 00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:33,652 Sure, make me look like an asshole. 495 00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:41,660 You owe me a wife. 496 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,793 -Worse. 497 00:27:44,837 --> 00:27:46,186 Okay. 498 00:27:47,970 --> 00:27:49,972 There's... there's gotta be one more piece! 499 00:27:50,016 --> 00:27:52,671 Ah, whoop, there it is! Here, here. 500 00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:55,151 -Oh! Oh, my God. 501 00:27:55,195 --> 00:27:58,024 -I dunno. 502 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:02,158 -There's a mountain man!! -A gross, scabby mountain man!! 503 00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:03,203 So not fixed, then. 504 00:28:04,857 --> 00:28:06,902 Not so fast, Gandalf! 505 00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:07,729 No! 506 00:28:09,209 --> 00:28:12,821 -You shall not pass!!! 507 00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:19,698 Yeah, on second thought, you do you, man... 508 00:28:20,873 --> 00:28:22,135 Ah!! 509 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:25,442 One of you will be my new wife! 510 00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:28,837 -Not it. 511 00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:29,403 Come on. 512 00:28:30,143 --> 00:28:32,232 -Help. 513 00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:36,802 Shit! 514 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:43,199 : Okay, the mirror wasn't the only thing they broke, right? 515 00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,987 It looks like a... a lawn ornament? 516 00:28:50,293 --> 00:28:51,730 He's not an ogre. 517 00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:53,296 He's a gnome! 518 00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:58,258 ! -You owe me a wife. Now choose. 519 00:28:58,301 --> 00:29:00,869 -How could we possibly-- -She'd make a great gnome wife. 520 00:29:00,913 --> 00:29:04,743 -Ooh, loving a good puzzle. -She's beautiful and... 521 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:07,049 annoyingly noble. And I know she's great in bed, 522 00:29:07,093 --> 00:29:09,095 because my house has very thin walls. 523 00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:12,011 -Quick, quick, quick, quick! -Stop! -You should choose Wynonna. 524 00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:14,404 She is funny and irrepressible, 525 00:29:14,448 --> 00:29:17,799 and she always goes to the mat for the people she loves. 526 00:29:17,843 --> 00:29:20,933 -More tape! -Oh, and she's super fertile! -It was one time. 527 00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:24,066 You stick to that, I will do tape. 528 00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:28,331 I think this would be a really good time to tell you that I am a lesbian. 529 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:31,857 -Oh, like you never went through an experimental phase. -Not with gnomes! 530 00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:34,163 That's very narrow-minded, Nicole! Love is love! 531 00:29:34,207 --> 00:29:36,252 -Stop talking!!! 532 00:29:38,515 --> 00:29:40,866 -Okay. 533 00:29:40,909 --> 00:29:43,782 Ugh! You want a wife, but you need a mint. 534 00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:47,437 -We're missing a piece! -Okay, I got the knees! 535 00:29:47,481 --> 00:29:50,136 I got the... Oh, my God, these are-- 536 00:29:50,179 --> 00:29:53,139 Boobs?! Oh, hell gnome, it's a lady! 537 00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:55,837 They broke his gnome wife! Quick, stick the boobs back on! 538 00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:58,274 -That is a lawsuit waiting to happen! -Okay, fine, I'll do it! 539 00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,973 -Just... hand me the double-sided tape! 540 00:30:01,016 --> 00:30:04,150 -Yes. -Oh, God, I really wish we had a gnome bra! 541 00:30:04,193 --> 00:30:04,977 Done! 542 00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:06,979 There. 543 00:30:12,158 --> 00:30:14,290 Monique! You're alright. 544 00:30:19,513 --> 00:30:21,254 Oh, buh-buh-buh-buh! 545 00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:22,821 Ah! 546 00:30:26,302 --> 00:30:28,478 -Aw, that was kind of-- -Sweet. 547 00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:30,176 And romantic. 548 00:30:30,219 --> 00:30:32,918 Exactly how my first Grindr date ended. 549 00:30:34,876 --> 00:30:36,791 I've said too much. 550 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,446 Found it at the old roadhouse. Doors were open, keys were in the ignition. 551 00:30:39,489 --> 00:30:41,361 I wouldn't drive it for more than a day. 552 00:30:41,404 --> 00:30:44,538 You never know when the owner's gonna sober up and report it stolen. 553 00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:48,324 Okay. We got some cash, an ID. 554 00:30:48,368 --> 00:30:52,981 Ooh, I knew an outlaw'd get what's needed when I need to get out of Dodge fast. 555 00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:57,507 Oh, but... I'm not gonna take your pistol. 556 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:58,987 We both know you might need that. 557 00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:01,163 -Much obliged. 558 00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:04,340 Otherwise, nicely done, Johnny Hank. 559 00:31:04,384 --> 00:31:05,864 Wish I could say the same. 560 00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:08,518 Is this where you beg me to stay? 561 00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,259 Oh, I do not beg. 562 00:31:13,045 --> 00:31:16,091 Anyways, this gives us our best chance at keeping them safe. 563 00:31:16,135 --> 00:31:19,965 Seems to be my lot in life. Leaving to keep other people safe. 564 00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:22,402 -Am I meant to feel sorry for you? -No. 565 00:31:22,445 --> 00:31:24,447 I would never ask you that. 566 00:31:24,491 --> 00:31:27,276 But you do recognize this, you recognize me, 567 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,191 you recognize what I'm doing. 568 00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:33,239 Setting evil free and imperiling your own family in the process? 569 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:37,199 Now that I know what's happened to Julian, I have to go find him. 570 00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:39,027 He's lost out there. 571 00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:41,421 He's outside the Ghost River Triangle. 572 00:31:42,204 --> 00:31:45,642 From the second I walked into that barn... 573 00:31:45,686 --> 00:31:47,601 you knew I'd make you leave, 574 00:31:48,428 --> 00:31:49,995 you knew I'd help you. 575 00:31:50,038 --> 00:31:52,345 Sometimes it takes a monster. 576 00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:55,609 Wynonna will be angry. 577 00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:58,351 She's not gonna be angry with you. 578 00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:01,223 She always seems to forgive you. 579 00:32:02,007 --> 00:32:04,487 Still, you may not escape her anger, 580 00:32:04,531 --> 00:32:09,014 for you are abandoning your family for love. 581 00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:13,583 Oh. Like I'm gonna let a vampire lecture me on love. 582 00:32:24,203 --> 00:32:26,945 Oh. Shit. 583 00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:31,601 Out already? Didn't even have time to send flowers. 584 00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:34,430 It was just a fancy faint. 585 00:32:34,474 --> 00:32:36,998 Yeah, the cat made a bed in your ass crack. 586 00:32:37,042 --> 00:32:40,045 The doctor said I'm fine. I'm as healthy as an ox. 587 00:32:40,088 --> 00:32:41,655 -With the cankles to match. -Listen. 588 00:32:41,698 --> 00:32:44,614 I am just here to tell Officer Haught 589 00:32:44,658 --> 00:32:47,008 that despite the day's events, 590 00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,402 she will not be getting my support. 591 00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:54,973 She saved your life, you incorrigible bitch. 592 00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:56,626 Perhaps. 593 00:32:56,670 --> 00:32:59,673 But she does not belong here in Purgatory. 594 00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:02,197 She is not our... people. 595 00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:04,504 Are you a xenophobe, or a homophobe? 596 00:33:04,547 --> 00:33:06,985 Why pick just one? 597 00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:10,075 Even though it was against her best interest, Nicole did the right thing. 598 00:33:10,118 --> 00:33:12,425 She always does the right thing, no matter what. 599 00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:14,470 That's the kind of person who should be sheriff. 600 00:33:14,514 --> 00:33:16,211 -I'll keep that in mind. -No. 601 00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:20,999 Bunny... shouldn't we talk about what really happened today? 602 00:33:22,348 --> 00:33:24,393 What's really got your pearls all twisted? 603 00:33:24,437 --> 00:33:27,701 -I don't know what you're talking about. -What you saw. 604 00:33:28,397 --> 00:33:30,704 Because you saw something, didn't you, Bun Bun? 605 00:33:30,747 --> 00:33:34,273 It was a dream, a terrible dream. 606 00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:36,405 Like the one where I'm on the cruise ship 607 00:33:36,449 --> 00:33:39,495 with all the shirtless... Portuguese sailors. 608 00:33:39,539 --> 00:33:42,324 Okay, there's a lot to unpack there. 609 00:33:42,368 --> 00:33:45,197 But no... you weren't dreaming. 610 00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:47,677 See, you think you want to know the things 611 00:33:47,721 --> 00:33:49,549 Nedley's been keeping secret. 612 00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:52,769 You don't. That monster you saw today, 613 00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:56,295 it's just... the tip of the iceberg. 614 00:33:57,122 --> 00:33:58,166 Iceberg? 615 00:33:58,210 --> 00:34:00,081 If you don't back Nicole for sheriff, 616 00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:05,043 I am sending that monster and all of his demon friends... 617 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:07,045 to your house. 618 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:10,091 You can't and you won't. 619 00:34:10,135 --> 00:34:12,354 Oh, bless your cold, withered heart. 620 00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:15,270 You think it could handle another "fancy faint"? 621 00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,752 Then Nicole Haught's gonna be the next sheriff. 622 00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:20,058 Okay? 623 00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:22,408 Have a lovely day. 624 00:34:22,451 --> 00:34:24,366 I need to get to church. 625 00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:25,715 You gotta book yourself that cruise. 626 00:34:33,419 --> 00:34:35,203 How long have you been listening? 627 00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:36,726 It would've been rude to interrupt. 628 00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:39,599 -Naughty Haughty. Because... 629 00:34:40,252 --> 00:34:42,341 I feel like I can hear space and time. 630 00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:45,518 Hair of the dog? 631 00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:49,391 Officer Haught. At work? 632 00:34:49,435 --> 00:34:52,612 Well, some rules are made to be broken. 633 00:34:52,655 --> 00:34:54,440 Huh. Maybe you would be a good wife. 634 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:57,834 Ah, thank you. But you're not my type. You cheat at drinking games. 635 00:34:57,878 --> 00:34:59,401 -Mm-hmm. 636 00:35:02,796 --> 00:35:03,797 Truce? 637 00:35:04,493 --> 00:35:06,278 More than a truce. A win. 638 00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:08,106 Hm. 639 00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,328 You know, I used to think you were an outsider too. 640 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:16,549 And that things would get too demony and you would... 641 00:35:17,245 --> 00:35:19,813 go and leave my sister with a broken heart. 642 00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:22,772 Wynonna, I love her. 643 00:35:22,816 --> 00:35:23,643 Ew. 644 00:35:24,470 --> 00:35:26,124 Also, you'd better. 645 00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:30,302 And I love you, too. 646 00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:34,262 I mean, I know it's terribly unfair and sometimes I really get... jealous, 647 00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:36,482 because you get to be... 648 00:35:38,266 --> 00:35:39,267 Get to be what? 649 00:35:40,790 --> 00:35:41,748 You. 650 00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:47,319 You know, you're staked to this land, same as me. 651 00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:50,191 You never had a choice. 652 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,236 What do you mean? 653 00:35:56,589 --> 00:35:58,330 It wasn't Black Badge who saved you 654 00:35:58,373 --> 00:36:00,854 from the Cult of Bulshar massacre, Nicole. 655 00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:05,163 It was an idealistic local cop. 656 00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:16,783 Oh... 657 00:36:18,654 --> 00:36:21,614 That little dance battle at the vampire ball really did my back in. 658 00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:30,884 Ah... 659 00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:39,632 You were so damn scared. 660 00:36:42,374 --> 00:36:43,984 Still so damn tough. 661 00:36:44,985 --> 00:36:47,292 I found you downriver from the massacre. 662 00:36:47,335 --> 00:36:50,469 You'd gotten yourself into a canoe, you got away, so... 663 00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:53,472 You're the one. 664 00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,916 Kept an eye on you afterwards. 665 00:37:04,265 --> 00:37:05,919 You know, those folks of yours... 666 00:37:07,964 --> 00:37:11,446 Who lets their six-year-old daughter go to a music festival in the woods? 667 00:37:11,490 --> 00:37:14,884 My parents were never anything but selfish. 668 00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:16,669 If they could see you now. 669 00:37:16,712 --> 00:37:19,237 Uh... we don't talk. 670 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,501 Why? Because of... who you are? 671 00:37:22,544 --> 00:37:23,893 Yeah. 672 00:37:23,937 --> 00:37:25,895 A cop. 673 00:37:25,939 --> 00:37:28,507 When I found out you'd enrolled in the police academy, 674 00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:30,900 I couldn't resist offering you this job. 675 00:37:30,944 --> 00:37:32,902 When I saw the posting, I... I knew 676 00:37:32,946 --> 00:37:34,991 that this was where I had to serve. 677 00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,780 Everything good that I have in my life 678 00:37:40,823 --> 00:37:43,913 is because I came back to the Ghost River Triangle. 679 00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:52,618 You're like a daughter... to me. 680 00:38:11,419 --> 00:38:13,465 You're wrinkling the crease in my khakis. 681 00:38:21,864 --> 00:38:23,039 Thank you. 682 00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:28,610 You are a tough act to follow. 683 00:38:28,654 --> 00:38:30,482 I'm not going anywhere. 684 00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:34,312 Not if you really need me. 685 00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:37,315 Congratulations, Sheriff Haught. 686 00:38:39,708 --> 00:38:40,970 You earned it. 687 00:38:44,931 --> 00:38:47,890 Fill a tub with tequila and salt the rim. 688 00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:49,675 I have had a day. 689 00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:53,940 She's gone. 690 00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:58,074 Went to find Julian. 691 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,087 But we just had Christmas together and it was so nice. 692 00:39:12,524 --> 00:39:13,960 We could spend our whole lives trying to figure out 693 00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:16,441 why she does what she does, baby girl. 694 00:39:17,485 --> 00:39:18,443 We already have. 695 00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,968 At least now she really is free. 696 00:39:22,664 --> 00:39:23,752 Must be nice. 697 00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:40,116 Good evening. 698 00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:43,903 I come bearing gifts. 699 00:39:44,904 --> 00:39:46,775 Well, gift. 700 00:39:53,521 --> 00:39:55,697 -This is-- -Bulshar's ring. 701 00:39:55,741 --> 00:39:58,396 It may protect you in your upcoming battle. 702 00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:01,616 How did you get it? Nicole had it. 703 00:40:01,660 --> 00:40:05,098 Well... the details are a little foggy. 704 00:40:06,665 --> 00:40:09,058 I do like to day drink, as you know. 705 00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,451 Why don't you keep it? 706 00:40:12,627 --> 00:40:15,761 Anyone ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth? 707 00:40:16,849 --> 00:40:18,546 Did you spend the day with my mother? 708 00:40:18,590 --> 00:40:21,941 -She essentially treated me as her Ober-- -Uber. 709 00:40:27,816 --> 00:40:30,428 What she told me may require some explanation. 710 00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:31,777 She thought so, too. 711 00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:35,128 Lemme just read it to you. 712 00:40:36,608 --> 00:40:37,826 "Dear Wynonna, 713 00:40:39,175 --> 00:40:40,699 don't trust Doc Holliday. 714 00:40:43,658 --> 00:40:44,964 He's not what he says he is." 715 00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:48,750 Did she also say she set Bobo free from the well? 716 00:40:48,794 --> 00:40:51,449 She does love to burn a place down before she runs. 717 00:40:51,492 --> 00:40:53,581 The recklessness of her actions - 718 00:40:53,625 --> 00:40:56,062 I do not see how she could remain here and keep you safe. 719 00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:58,586 Just tell me what you did. 720 00:41:01,981 --> 00:41:03,069 Who are you? 721 00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:06,768 -Who I've always been. -Don't talk to me in riddles. 722 00:41:06,812 --> 00:41:09,467 -Like you give a shit about me. 723 00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,207 You refused me. 724 00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:16,517 Wynonna, I do care-- 725 00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:20,695 You are runnin' out of road, woman. 726 00:41:21,522 --> 00:41:22,610 Tell me what you are. 727 00:41:29,748 --> 00:41:31,010 Kate. 728 00:41:33,534 --> 00:41:35,144 You let her do this. 729 00:41:37,886 --> 00:41:39,497 She had you. 730 00:41:40,802 --> 00:41:42,500 It was the only way. 731 00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:44,197 What about us? 732 00:41:44,893 --> 00:41:46,678 What about Alice? 733 00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:49,811 What would our daughter say 734 00:41:49,855 --> 00:41:53,554 if she knew her father sold his soul?! 735 00:41:53,598 --> 00:41:56,949 You of all people should understand the sacrifices that have been made. 736 00:41:56,992 --> 00:42:00,822 You wanted your immortality that badly, selfish asshole?! 737 00:42:00,866 --> 00:42:02,128 You watch your mouth!! 738 00:42:04,304 --> 00:42:05,523 Bite me. 739 00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:10,702 There are some... 740 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:13,792 ...advantages... 741 00:42:15,141 --> 00:42:16,838 ...to you being a vampire. 742 00:42:18,013 --> 00:42:19,972 John Henry Holliday, 743 00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:22,801 you're not welcome in my home anymore. 744 00:42:22,844 --> 00:42:24,193 Don't you do this. 745 00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:27,066 No, you did this. 746 00:42:27,109 --> 00:42:28,154 Not me. 747 00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:42,211 ♪ 56328

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