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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,169
ADULT SHELDON:
Presenting...
2
00:00:07,006 --> 00:00:07,924
Number five:
3
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,968
Star Trek Fan Club Magazine.
4
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:14,264
Mom, DeForest Kelley's favorite
episode is "The Empath."
5
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,598
Good to know.
6
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,434
ADULT SHELDON:
Number four: the Weather Cube
7
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,935
from RadioShack.
8
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:21,020
ANNOUNCER (over device):
The humidity is 90%
9
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,148
with a dew point
of 79.5 degrees.
10
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,441
Mom!
11
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:27,277
The dew point is 79.5 degrees.
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,778
MARY:
Okay.
13
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,113
ADULT SHELDON:
Number three:
14
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,115
The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour.
15
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,117
Such a great theme song.
16
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,285
♪ ♪
17
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,328
♪ Buh-buh-bum. ♪
18
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,496
ADULT SHELDON:
Number two:
19
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,749
Meemaw after a few beers.
20
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,917
It took a while,
but we finally picked a new name
21
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,587
for my bowling team:
The Ball Busters.
22
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,630
Hey, Mom.
23
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,300
Guess what Meemaw named
her bowling team? The Ball...
24
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,634
ADULT SHELDON:
And the number one source
25
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,470
of news from my childhood:
26
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,014
the bulletin boardat the train store.
27
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,477
News about trainsin a store full of trains.
28
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,020
Yummy.
29
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,939
How did this not make
The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour?
30
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,357
(train whistles)
31
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,152
The train museum's
looking for a docent.
32
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,653
What's a docent?
33
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,946
It's a person in a museum
34
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,073
who gives information
on the exhibits.
35
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,619
Do you think they'd let someone
your age do that?
36
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,913
Why not? I have
a high school diploma.
37
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:20,830
True.
38
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,832
I know more about trains
than anybody.
39
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,042
True.
40
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,502
And I have the unique ability
41
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,587
to wear people down
until I get my way.
42
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,465
So true.
43
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:38,306
Hello. I understand
you're looking for a docent.
44
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,308
I'm 11 years old,
but you should know
45
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:41,768
I have a high school diploma
46
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,229
and I know more about trains
than anybody.
47
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,648
You still sound on the fence.
48
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,400
ADULT SHELDON:
It was time to break outmy unique ability.
49
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,903
Let me tell you about
every model train I own
50
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,696
and what each of them
means to me.
51
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,490
The first locomotive
I ever received...
52
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,034
ADULT SHELDON:
Wouldn't you know it,47 short minutes later,
53
00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,869
I got the job.
54
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,872
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
55
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,708
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
56
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,545
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
57
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,381
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
58
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:14,926
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
59
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,391
You put your cleats
in the truck?
60
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,391
Yep.
61
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,726
We should hit the road soon.
It's a long drive.
62
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,396
Okay.
63
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,396
I got your lunches here.
64
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,022
Extra Fruit Roll-Ups?
65
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,357
You each got two.
66
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,357
Thank you.
67
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,733
Thank you.
68
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,694
What time is the game?
69
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,694
12:30.
70
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,237
Why are we talking
about baseball
71
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,406
and not my impending
docent-hood?
72
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,199
Who wants to tell him
it's stupid?
73
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,868
Leave it alone.
74
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,868
And why do
they make you wear
75
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,411
that goofy costume?
76
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,830
Ha. They don't. This is all me.
77
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,748
What do you got going on today?
78
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,041
Ooh, laundry,
79
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,085
grocery shopping, vacuuming.
80
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,588
I might go nuts
and dust the picture frames.
81
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,090
Well, nice. Everybody's doing
something they love.
82
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:57,427
Sheldon, you sure about this?
83
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,096
Yes, leave the crusts on.
84
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,890
I'm a docent now.
85
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,435
Thanks for bringing me.
86
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,895
Hey, it got me out of
driving all the way
87
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,480
to Missy's game;
I should be thanking you.
88
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,778
My little knuckles
might not be cutting it.
89
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,946
Would you give it a go?
90
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,115
Sure.
91
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,241
How's that?
92
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,826
Four knocks. Bold.
93
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,119
(chuckles)
94
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:24,954
Hello, hello.
95
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,583
Volunteer docent Sheldon
Cooper reporting for duty.
96
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,293
Welcome aboard.
97
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,546
Train nomenclature right
out of the gate. Promising.
98
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,509
I like your conductor's uniform.
99
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,929
You know what they say.
Dress for the job you want.
100
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,640
Do I get an "ask me" button,
too?
101
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,975
Well, thank you for asking,
and yes, you do.
102
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,186
I'll be right back.
103
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,771
Do you see that bell?
104
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,857
That's from Texas and New
Orleans locomotive number 701.
105
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,776
I'd tell you more,
but you haven't contributed
106
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,235
the suggested donation.
107
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,956
Number 701 was built in 1930
by the Baldwin Locomotive Works.
108
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,292
It was a superheated
4-8-4 class GS-1
109
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,294
with 7...
110
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,294
I want my money back.
111
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,671
Here you go.
112
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673
Thank you.
113
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,174
I know you're supposed
to pick me up at 4:00,
114
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,342
but I may live here now.
115
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,344
Send me a Christmas card.
116
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,722
I'm glad Mom didn't come.
117
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,974
Why's that?
118
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,017
I can spit
when I'm on the mound.
119
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,353
You can hock up anything
you want today.
120
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,521
(snorts)
121
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,023
Not here.
122
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,023
Aw.
123
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,275
We need to stop so I can pee.
124
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,528
I told you to pee
before we left the house.
125
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,405
That was an hour and a half ago.
126
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,699
(sighs)
Can't you hold it?
127
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,367
I may spit like a man,
128
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,244
but I have the bladder
of a little girl.
129
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,247
(whirring)
130
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,542
I'm going to work.
131
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,669
Okay, have fun.
132
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,005
What-what time do you think
you'll be back?
133
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,214
Before dinner.
134
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,966
See you then.
135
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,553
(door closes)
136
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,971
(vacuum stops)
137
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,976
And my day off begins.
138
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,478
Just let me know
if you have any questions.
139
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,107
This is a very nice
builder's plate.
140
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,984
How can you be sure
it's not a replica?
141
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,944
Now, that is a great question.
142
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,613
Thank you. I also know
the answer. Do you?
143
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:26,409
Well, there's, uh,
rust and soot on the back of it
144
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,412
from when it was mounted
to the engine's smokebox.
145
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,748
Very good.
146
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,916
Ah, the 1937
147
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,752
Santa Fe diesel.
148
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,420
I've always loved
that paint scheme.
149
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,464
I wonder if they had
a name for it.
150
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,299
Cat's Whiskers.
151
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,759
Correct.
152
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,926
Ha! Two for two.
153
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,094
Did you know that
the word "train"
154
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,929
comes from
the French verb traîner,
155
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,806
which means to draw or drag?
156
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,100
(chuckles):
Well, I just learned something.
157
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,769
Well, if you enjoy
learning things,
158
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,980
then you and I are on
the fast track to friendship.
159
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,482
Speaking of fast tracks,
160
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,692
the Japanese bullet
train, or Shinkansen...
161
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,038
(exhales)
162
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,334
Ready to roll?
163
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,419
Not really.
164
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,922
What's wrong?
165
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,800
It happened.
166
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,803
What happened?
167
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:31,682
That thing that happens to girls
168
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,769
when they're becoming
young ladies.
169
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,356
What? Now?
170
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,608
I'm not happy about it, either.
171
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,319
(stammers)
Should we go home?
172
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:44,946
I'm pitching in an hour.
173
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,697
I-- you think
that's a good idea?
174
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:47,865
Maybe you need to lie down.
175
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,075
I don't need to lie down.
176
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,827
Okay, well, maybe
I need to lie down.
177
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,578
(sighs)
178
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,877
Okay, we're gonna find a
pay phone and call your mother.
179
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,838
She's not here right now.
What can she do?
180
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,881
Well, I don't know what to do.
181
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,342
We're gonna go to a drugstore
and get what I need.
182
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,344
Go to a drug store.
183
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,388
Okay, I can do that.
184
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:13,057
Breathe. We're gonna
get through this.
185
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,184
(exhales sharply)
186
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,854
SHELDON:
It's almost
opening time.
187
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,188
Can I flip the sign?
188
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,439
Have at it.
189
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,904
Five, four,
190
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,366
three, two, one.
191
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,618
We're officially open
for business.
192
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,086
Anticlimactic.
193
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,338
(motorcycle revs over TV)
194
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,345
Get him, Dalton. Get him.
195
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,556
GEORGE JR.:
Mary Cooper,
196
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,391
what are you doing?
197
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:56,475
Nothing.
198
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,102
Why are you watching Road House?
199
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,062
Why aren't you at work?
200
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,522
I asked you first,
and my question
201
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:02,940
is way more interesting.
202
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,526
It was just on.
203
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,028
I don't even know what that is.
204
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,572
Then how'd you know
his name's Dalton?
205
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,367
I don't have to explain
myself to you.
206
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,952
This is a pretty dirty movie.
207
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,080
How do you know? It is rated R.
208
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,249
For violence, language
and sexual content.
209
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,044
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
210
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:28,883
GEORGE SR.:
Nothing to be
embarrassed about.
211
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,260
It's perfectly natural.
Perfectly normal.
212
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,720
Dad, I know.
213
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,263
I'm telling myself.
214
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,432
Uh...
215
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,601
How much money you need?
216
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,603
I'm not going in there. You are.
217
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,105
Why can't you go?
It's embarrassing.
218
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,441
You just said
it wasn't embarrassing.
219
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:46,984
Well, it is and I lied.
220
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,236
♪ Whoa... ♪
221
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,112
Excuse me.
222
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,282
Hello. Welcome
to the Lone Star Train Museum.
223
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,784
I'm Docent Sheldon Cooper.
224
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,078
If you have any questions...
225
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,454
You know where the bathroom is?
226
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,123
Indeed I do.
You'll want to chug along
227
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,959
past our authentic 1928
228
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,294
Southern Pacific Sunset
limited whistle,
229
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,296
then keep going past
our conductor's uniform,
230
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,298
which was worn on the Texas
and Pacific Railway.
231
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,925
Then you'll come upon...
232
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,301
Son, I have to take a leak.
233
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,762
It's in the back.
234
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,762
Thank you.
235
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:17,306
And our toilets flush,
unlike the ones on trains
236
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,308
before 1889.
237
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,768
(train whistle blows)
238
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,478
This is a genuine
locomotive bell
239
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,481
from Texas and New Orleans
number 701.
240
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,817
Now there's a proper technique
to make the purest sound.
241
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,318
Most people don't know
how to do that.
242
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,945
But you're in luck,
because I do.
243
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,613
(bell ringing)
244
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,157
♪ And I still wouldn't
let her go ♪
245
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,327
♪ Better be on your way,
get along... ♪
246
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,662
(train whistle blows)
247
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,997
You want to know more
about the Cotton Belt,
248
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,623
there's plenty in here.
249
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,334
Although the facts
in that brochure are suspect.
250
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,461
(chuckles)
Sheldon, I, uh,
251
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,505
I wrote this brochure.
252
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:51,632
While the origins of the
Southern Pacific go back
253
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:55,761
to 1848, the company wasn't
formally started until 1865.
254
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,016
And before you reprint these,
we should talk fonts.
255
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,851
(train whistle blows)
256
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,020
See? It's all in the wrist.
257
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,188
♪ Train kept a-rollin'
all night long... ♪
258
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,523
(train whistle blows)
259
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:09,358
And early trains used
the drop chute toilet,
260
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,320
also called the hopper toilet,
which was really just a hole...
261
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,364
Couldn't you just listen
to this all day?
262
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,993
♪ And I still wouldn't
let her go. ♪
263
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,541
So how many times
have you seen Road House?
264
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,377
Sorry, can't hear you.
265
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,754
More or less than five?
266
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,339
'Cause that's
how many times I've seen it.
267
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,382
That's how many years
you're gonna be grounded
268
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,217
if you don't drop it right now.
269
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,053
Does Dad know
you like this movie?
270
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,220
(vacuum stops)
271
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,890
No, and it is gonna
stay that way.
272
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,392
Why?
273
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,392
Because it is not
274
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,186
something I should be watching.
275
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,687
Then why are you watching it?
276
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:52,026
It is a guilty pleasure,
so will you drop it now?
277
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,153
Relax.
278
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,280
I ain't gonna tell nobody.
279
00:10:58,657 --> 00:10:59,867
Thank you.
280
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,328
I think it's awesome
you like it.
281
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,583
It is pretty cool how Dalton
282
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,126
doesn't drive
his Mercedes to the bar
283
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,920
'cause he knows
they're gonna trash it.
284
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,213
Dalton's no dummy.
285
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,881
No, sir.
286
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,758
It's right over there
in aisle two.
287
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,471
Find everything you need today?
288
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,139
Yeah, think so.
289
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,940
(chuckles)
290
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,274
(clears throat)
291
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,446
You don't know
what you're doing, do you?
292
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,281
No, ma'am.
293
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,950
Would you like some help?
294
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,076
Yes, ma'am, thank you, ma'am.
295
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,120
Okay.
296
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,415
(bell ringing)
297
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,793
Uh...
298
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,169
we need to talk.
299
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,921
About this bell? You got it.
300
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,757
Did you know different
engineers would often...
301
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,634
Son?
302
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,928
You're a sweet kid, but...
303
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,805
I don't think
this is working out.
304
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,723
What? Why?
305
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,809
I-I know everything
there is to know about trains.
306
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,853
Well, you see now,
that there is the problem.
307
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:12,148
People, when they come here,
they want to enjoy it.
308
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,316
They don't want to get
lectured in the bathroom.
309
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,360
And you have been
correcting me
310
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,487
in front of the visitors
all morning long.
311
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,947
Would you prefer
I send you a memo
312
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,323
of your mistakes
at the end of the day?
313
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,450
No.
314
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,450
Because that's what I did
315
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,659
for the teachers at my school.
316
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,952
I think it brought us
all closer.
317
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,328
Sheldon, it's great
to have knowledge.
318
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,206
But you don't need
to show it off all the time.
319
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,499
Oh, I don't mind.
320
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,334
(chuckles)
321
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,671
You see, trains are
all about balance, right?
322
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,673
Now you put too much water
into a steam engine,
323
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,300
it can't do its job.
324
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,677
You let that water run low--
boom, it'll blow up.
325
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,180
Now, a good engineer
326
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,682
makes sure he uses just
the right amount of water.
327
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,143
Not too little, not too much.
328
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,687
That make sense?
329
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,149
The fireman adjusts the water,
not the engineer.
330
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,067
And then he took
my "ask me" button.
331
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,111
He didn't even ask me.
He just took it.
332
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,496
Everybody gets fired
for something eventually.
333
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,539
For being too good
at their job?
334
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,917
Well, Moon Pie,
sometimes you just get
335
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,504
too excited about
sharing the facts in your head.
336
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,048
But learning facts is
the ant's pants.
337
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,674
Which is
the Australian derivation
338
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,218
of the bee's knees.
339
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,385
See, you just learned something.
340
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,554
And wasn't that
the cat's pajamas?
341
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,891
Alls I'm saying is people
aren't always in the mood.
342
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,434
Well, they should be.
343
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,728
I'm happy to learn
any fact at any time.
344
00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:34,230
Is that so?
345
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,565
Yes.
346
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,234
Grab my knitting bag.
347
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,902
I don't recommend
driving while knitting.
348
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,154
Your reflexes aren't
what they used to be.
349
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,240
Just look in the bag!
350
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,866
Did you know
351
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,369
that there are three
different kinds of yarn?
352
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,912
I didn't.
353
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,665
You got your animal, like wool.
354
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,250
Your plant, like cotton.
355
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,710
And your synthetic,
like acrylic.
356
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,878
Interesting.
357
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,213
You think so?
358
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,548
I'm glad to hear that.
359
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,759
Because each one of them
has plusses and minuses,
360
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,719
and you're about
to hear them all
361
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,098
in mind-numbing detail.
362
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,770
Nothing to worry about.
363
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,939
We got this.
364
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,939
Really?
365
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,399
Everything you need's
right here.
366
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,193
You're the best.
367
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,113
Come on, I'll show you
where the bathroom is.
368
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,781
Oh, and there's a
very helpful cashier
369
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,283
named Gretchen
you need to hug.
370
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,534
Come on.
371
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,494
Here she is, Gretchen.
372
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,454
Another way
373
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,790
to cast on in knitting
374
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,750
is called the slingshot.
375
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,627
Did you know the Wham-O company
was named
376
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,796
after its first product,
the Wham-O Slingshot?
377
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:43,465
I'm the one saying
the facts right now.
378
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,467
Unless you're tired
of hearing them?
379
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,136
Sick of learning? Never.
380
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,471
Well, that's too bad.
381
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,391
How awesome was it when he
fights those four guys at once?
382
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,268
They were asking for it.
383
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,312
Dalton doesn't fight
unless he has to.
384
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,147
True, 'cause
when the doctor says,
385
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,857
"How many of these fights
you win?" he says...
386
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,817
BOTH:
Nobody ever wins in a fight.
387
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,820
(both laugh)
388
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:07,656
Mm, and I like how smart he is.
389
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,825
But doesn't feel
like he has to show it off.
390
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:10,868
No kidding.
391
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,119
Maybe Sheldon should watch it.
392
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:15,956
Hey, what was Dalton's third
rule of being a good bouncer?
393
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,666
Be nice.
394
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,335
That's right.
395
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,173
I think Dad would love that
you're into stuff like this.
396
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,008
I'm sure he would.
397
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,469
He took me to see Mad Max twice.
398
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:29,553
Really?
399
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,180
Actually...
400
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,515
the second time,
we couldn't find a sitter,
401
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,184
so we brought you along.
402
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,852
How old was I?
403
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:38,854
I don't know... four?
404
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,814
No wonder I'm so cool.
405
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,067
So, why you hiding it?
406
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,404
Well, 'cause I'm supposed
to be a good Christian.
407
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,366
Clearly this is something
I need to work on.
408
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:54,036
Well, before you fix it,
you've got to watch Die Hard 2.
409
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:57,373
Bruce Willis stabs a guy
in the head with an icicle.
410
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:03,712
Now, circular knitting produces
a seamless tube.
411
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,589
You already told me that.
412
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,883
Oh, did I?
413
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:10,052
Can we circle back
to double-pointed needles?
414
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,720
I have a follow-up question.
415
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,806
Hold that thought.
416
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,352
(indistinct chatter)
417
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,232
Strike two!
418
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,067
(crowd cheering)
419
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,067
One more!
420
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,985
Just like that!
421
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,742
Strike three, you're out.
422
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,244
There you go! Ha!
423
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,079
That's how
you do it!
424
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,414
Is that
your little girl?
425
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,499
That's my little lady.
426
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,548
Well, sometimes.
427
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,974
Carrying the stuffing out of the
Caddy was easy. Using it to stop
428
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,768
the guys chasing us...
429
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,768
The kids are asleep.
430
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,437
MacGYVER:
Gasoline would help.
431
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,439
Always does...
432
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,439
You gonna watch that?
433
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:04,815
Well, it's MacGyver.
434
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,942
He makes stuff out
of other stuff.
435
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,694
MacGYVER:
Sort of a homemade mortar.
436
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,404
Why, did you want
to watch something else?
437
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:14,032
I thought maybe
we could watch a movie.
438
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,077
Sure, yeah, which one?
439
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,872
Um... I don't know.
440
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,041
I heard that that movie
Road House
441
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,793
is supposed to be good.
442
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,420
What's it about?
443
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,672
I think it's about a guy,
444
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,508
um... Dalton.
445
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,844
Who's a bouncer
446
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:35,304
who has to clean up a bar
447
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,057
that's been overrun
by a bunch of bad guys.
448
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,517
Oh, yeah, it's got that guy
that looks like Georgie in it.
449
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,144
No, he doesn't.
450
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,645
(laughs):
Are you kidding?
451
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,314
He looks exactly like him.
452
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,525
♪ ♪
453
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,781
Let's just watch MacGyver.
454
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,532
GEORGE SR.:
Cool.
455
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,828
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
456
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,914
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
457
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:03,874
and TOYOTA.
458
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,002
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
31643
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