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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,441 --> 00:00:36,441 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver 2 00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:48,362 Throughout history, humans have had a primal instinct to hunt, 3 00:00:48,364 --> 00:00:51,284 to compete, to dominate. 4 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,501 Initially, survival was a daily necessity. 5 00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:56,339 Kill or be killed. There was no choice. 6 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,090 And through these battles, through all the aggression 7 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,426 against the opposition, a respect developed. 8 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,962 An unexpected camaraderie was born. 9 00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:07,100 And around the world, brotherhoods were forged. 10 00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:11,971 But now that we're civilized and spoiled 11 00:01:12,388 --> 00:01:13,971 by the luxuries of the modern world, 12 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:16,524 those instincts have been dulled. 13 00:01:16,526 --> 00:01:19,644 However, that primal need to dominate remains. 14 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,781 Even today, people around the world need an outlet, 15 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,315 an arena to crush the competition. 16 00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,652 And I'm not talking about fantasy football. 17 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,537 I'm talking about real competition. 18 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,707 Blood, sweat, and beer. 19 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:34,492 This is the story about my group of friends. 20 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,494 And for the last 20 years, we found that outlet 21 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,998 to unleash our need to conquer, to win, 22 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,965 to be crowned king, 23 00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:43,886 and to ruthlessly demoralize our best buddies. 24 00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:51,225 But at the end of the day, we are lifelong friends, 25 00:01:51,227 --> 00:01:53,763 and nothing could come between our brotherhood. 26 00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:59,734 Well, almost nothing. 27 00:02:32,518 --> 00:02:33,853 Where are you? 28 00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:36,055 Oh, okay. 29 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:48,284 Oh, okay. Get some. 30 00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:51,320 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 31 00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:55,990 Fuck you! 32 00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:57,708 Fuck! 33 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,545 Damn it! 34 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,169 Ow! Fuck! Aaah! Aaah! Stop! 35 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,839 Fucking stop shooting! Aaah! 36 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,143 Too much! 37 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,645 Oh, fuck. 38 00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,899 Yeah! 39 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,861 - Who's the king? - You're the king! 40 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:35,364 I want to say a couple words here. 41 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,865 I should not be standing here 42 00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:39,867 collecting another championship, 43 00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,871 but I am, thanks to guys like Doc. 44 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,791 I had you, Shelly. I had you. 45 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,676 You had me dead in the fucking water, 46 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,928 - I did, Shelly. - right there by the tree stump, 47 00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:52,012 and then you... what happened? You panicked, right? You spazzed out? 48 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,517 That is a good quality in a doctor, you must admit. 49 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,384 Your patients are very lucky. We'll let it go, and Zane... 50 00:03:57,386 --> 00:04:00,104 - That's my name! - "In Zane" in the membrane. 51 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,276 You idiot. You're such an idiot. 52 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,609 This fucking guy! 53 00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,980 And, Durfy, I was really hoping you'd win, man. 54 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,567 - Oh, thank you. - 'Cause I wanted to go down on the champion. 55 00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,537 Since I'm the champion, you can go down on me. 56 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,707 - Yeah, I'll start now. - Ooh! Ooh, ooh! 57 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,494 It's "ding!" Like a bullet off Superman. That's what that was. 58 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,213 Where's big Bob? Big Bob! Bobfather! 59 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,081 - Yes! - The man we owe it all to. 60 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,884 The man who put all this shit together. 61 00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,136 - Bobby, thank you. I love you, brother. - Love you too, buddy. 62 00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:35,725 And last but not least, Dixon Bender "like Beckham." 63 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:39,093 Get over here, Bender. Bender, 64 00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:41,595 I, uh, I've won, uh, 65 00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:44,098 six championships in six years. 66 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,100 What do you have to say about that? 67 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:48,354 - Well, Shelly, I... - Oh, we're all out of time. 68 00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:51,107 So sorry, Bender. Love you, Bobby! 69 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,526 - Whoo! - I need a beer. 70 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,444 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 71 00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:59,947 Bender, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry about earlier. 72 00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:02,449 I was just trying to make sure you were actually dead, you know. 73 00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:05,452 Well, you did. You shot me, like, 30 times, Shelly. 74 00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:07,456 - Thirty times. You painted a fucking house. - Yeah. 75 00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:08,958 It hurt. 76 00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:10,958 Aw, sweet, sweet Bender. Come on. 77 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,463 Come on over here. You didn't deserve that. 78 00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,964 - I'll never do it again, okay? - All right. 79 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,467 - You hear me? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 80 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,468 'Cause you are the toughest son of a bitch I know, 81 00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:24,273 and you wear your heart on your shoe. 82 00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,058 Aaah! Fuck! 83 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,066 You can be such an asshole, dude. Fuck! 84 00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:35,902 - You're 33? - Yeah. 85 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,405 - Wow! - You're so good looking for an older guy. 86 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,156 - Yeah! Totally. - I am not. 87 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,576 - Yeah, you are. - No, I'm not. 88 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:44,994 You look like a movie star. 89 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:46,462 You seriously think I look like a movie star? 90 00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:47,964 Yeah, totally! 91 00:05:48,464 --> 00:05:50,416 - You're hot! - Wow, thank you! 92 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,753 - What do you do? - Oh, I operate a backhoe. 93 00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:57,254 I dig a lot of, uh, sewer mains and cesspools. 94 00:05:57,256 --> 00:06:01,677 It's, uh, anywhere where waste generally dissipates into the soil. 95 00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:05,014 - Like poo? Oh. - Mm-hmm. 96 00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:07,650 Pretty good job. 97 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,190 Your grandparents let you throw parties like this here? 98 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:15,691 - Yeah. Yeah. - Really? 99 00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:18,694 Well, every summer, last 15 years. 100 00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:21,781 - Oh, my... - Hello! Who's this beautiful lady? 101 00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,083 - Hi, I'm Tiff. - Tiff? 102 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:25,916 Tiff, do you know who this is? 103 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,286 - That's Bob. - This is Bob. 104 00:06:27,536 --> 00:06:29,620 Bob is the bestest, sweetest son of a bitch 105 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,624 - in the whole, wide world. - Are you gonna kiss me on the lips? 106 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,124 I'm gonna kiss you right on your lips, you big, handsome... 107 00:06:34,126 --> 00:06:36,963 - You guys should kiss. - I love this guy. 108 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,131 Okay. Nikki calls. 109 00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:40,967 Jesus Christ. 110 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,303 Careful... 111 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,939 Hey, who's got my bucket? 112 00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:49,223 There you are, baby. 113 00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,143 Sheldon Baldinger. 114 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,527 Why, Nikki Baldinger? Hi, wifey. 115 00:06:53,529 --> 00:06:55,364 I think it's time we have a little chat. 116 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,984 Yeah? What do you want to talk about? 117 00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:01,235 I think it's time for my big, strong champion 118 00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:05,122 to take his trophy... inside. 119 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:08,158 - Shelly! Shelly! We got a sleeper. Right there. - Dude. 120 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,880 Mark did a bunch of absinthe. He's basically in a coma. 121 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,163 So fire up the nut sac. 122 00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,001 Time for the old meat goggles. 123 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,554 Rain check, babe. I'm sorry. I can't disappoint my fans. 124 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,924 Whoo! Who wants some balls and gravy? 125 00:07:25,094 --> 00:07:28,012 Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! 126 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,346 Ugh. 127 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,149 Unbelievable. Look at this guy. 128 00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:35,321 Why do I do this? Every year, I get dragged down to these things. 129 00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:38,322 Bunch of grown men acting like teenage chimps. 130 00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:41,659 Yeah, they're animals. 131 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:45,496 Poor Mark's passed out. Now he has balls smeared all over his forehead. 132 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,450 He's a schoolteacher. 133 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,753 It's a good thing Mark's students aren't here. 134 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:53,087 All he cares about is work 135 00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:56,008 and beating his buddies at the Buddy Games, especially you, Bender. 136 00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:57,760 I haven't showered for three days! 137 00:07:58,094 --> 00:08:00,177 Why don't you teach him a lesson? 138 00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,680 From us. Come on. It'll be fun. 139 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,685 - What, shoot him? I can't do that. - Okay. 140 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,138 Two for one. Two nuts, one guy. 141 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,141 Look familiar, Bender? 142 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,528 - What if I did? - Yeah, do it. 143 00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,396 Left hook. Uppercut. 144 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,148 Body blow. Aaah! 145 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,948 What? 146 00:08:20,950 --> 00:08:22,785 Shel! Shelly! 147 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,822 Bender, you fucked him up real good, man. 148 00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,625 Jesus Christ, what am I looking at? 149 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,428 - What's going on? - Nothing. 150 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,765 You know, I was doing the math 151 00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,598 on how many years we've been coming here, 152 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,017 - and it's five years of Sundays. - I know. 153 00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,902 She's making the same casserole. 154 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,404 Oh, God. 155 00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,356 My mom really appreciates it though. 156 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,776 And I appreciate you for coming with me. 157 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,692 I was thinking that maybe we could 158 00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:08,664 - add something to the Sunday routine. - Like what? 159 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,450 I'm just gonna keep sliding down the counter until you figure it out. 160 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,369 We could see how we like that. 161 00:09:15,871 --> 00:09:18,374 Yeah. You want to do it right here? 162 00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,885 You want to add something to the Sunday routine? 163 00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:45,151 I'm staring at a picture of myself as a child staring back at me. 164 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,119 It's horrifying. 165 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:50,623 Oh, God! 166 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,461 Okay, my buns are warm. 167 00:09:55,961 --> 00:09:57,795 Bless your heart! 168 00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,130 Oh, I always forget to heat those up. 169 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,002 Not a big deal. I mean, look at your casserole. 170 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,386 - Isn't it good today? - Oh... 171 00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,503 - Did you do something different this time? - No. 172 00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,056 No, you baked a pie. How am I gonna compete with you? 173 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:10,476 Oh, I bought that pie, sweetie. 174 00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:12,342 Bill hates my pie. 175 00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:13,844 What? What's that? 176 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,846 I said, you hate my pie. 177 00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,767 Oh, yeah. Store pie's better. 178 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:21,185 You know, I always think that pie is pie. 179 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,686 You know, as long as it's warm 180 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,157 and lots of whipped cream, you know. 181 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,407 - Mmm. - Bob loves my pie, right? 182 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:30,196 - I do love your pie. Very much. - Yeah, Bob loves my pie. 183 00:10:30,446 --> 00:10:32,448 Sounds like you guys are talking about vagina. 184 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:33,916 - Oh, Bill! - What? 185 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:37,284 Oh, good Lord! I know what you meant. 186 00:10:37,286 --> 00:10:39,586 No, we were actually talking about vagina. 187 00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:41,505 - No, we weren't. - Oh, stop it. 188 00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:46,679 Bobby, when are you gonna marry this girl? 189 00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:48,378 Mom, please. 190 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,797 - Peas? - No, Dad. I don't want peas. 191 00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:52,799 I want grandbabies, for goodness sake. 192 00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:55,104 I know you want grandbabies. You say that every weekend. 193 00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:57,273 - What are you guys waiting for? - Mother... 194 00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,026 Mary Ann Baldinger? 195 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,395 Uh, give me one second. 196 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,232 Why don't you take him away somewhere romantic? 197 00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,653 Mrs. Baldinger. This is a surprise. How are you? 198 00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:14,073 Not so good, Bobby. Sheldon needs you. Now. 199 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,409 - We're at Silver Linings. - Silver Linings? Like, the rehab? 200 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,079 Yes. I'll explain when you get here. Come now. 201 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,967 - I'm sorry, you guys. I have to run. - What? 202 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,967 - Is everything okay? - Yeah, I'll see you back at the house. 203 00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:29,305 - Do you want me to go with you? - Nope. You enjoy yourselves. 204 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,509 - Eat your casserole. - I can... 205 00:11:36,011 --> 00:11:38,013 Okay. Okay. 206 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:49,775 What? 207 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,160 What is going on? 208 00:11:53,162 --> 00:11:54,663 Shouldn't his wife be here? Where's Nikki? 209 00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,030 Nikki? The bitch filed for divorce, 210 00:11:57,032 --> 00:12:00,417 sold the shares back to the investors, and moved to Jamaica. 211 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,338 What? 212 00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:05,124 He is in a dark, dark place, Bobby. 213 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:08,008 Sheldon's a good boy. Do you know what it's like 214 00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:11,013 watching your boy wasting away in front of your eyes? 215 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,465 I can't even imagine, Mrs. B. I am so sorry. 216 00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:15,351 I need you to do something for me. 217 00:12:15,684 --> 00:12:16,719 Yeah, anything. You name it. 218 00:12:17,102 --> 00:12:18,187 Get the boys back together. 219 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,139 Yeah. Whatever you need. We'll take him out, 220 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,024 - maybe go on a vacation. - No. 221 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,891 His counselor said Sheldon needs something to live for. 222 00:12:24,893 --> 00:12:27,780 He needs a win. He needs those games. 223 00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:29,148 - The Buddy Games? - Yeah. 224 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,648 No. No, no, no. 225 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,150 That's... That's not gonna happen. 226 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,571 I'm not asking. I'm telling. 227 00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,988 If you have any compassion in your soul whatsoever, 228 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,825 you will do this for my boy. 229 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,128 Oh, don't be a pussy. 230 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,831 You were always a leader of men. 231 00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:47,549 What did the boys used to call you? 232 00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:52,338 - The Bobfather. - And why did they call you that? 233 00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,174 Because I was their leader. 234 00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,009 Exactly. 235 00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,261 Now, you rally those troops. 236 00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:02,014 - Shake. All right. - All right. 237 00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,516 Oh, you're a good boy, Bobby. 238 00:13:06,902 --> 00:13:07,936 God... 239 00:13:09,938 --> 00:13:12,441 - Whoop. Excuse me. - Hey, Bob. 240 00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:18,280 Shelly? 241 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,916 What are you doing here, Bob? 242 00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:24,003 Holy shit! What... Uh, you look... 243 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,754 Like a runway model? 244 00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,673 You know... 245 00:13:29,258 --> 00:13:30,843 - Why are you here, Bob? - Uh... 246 00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:34,296 Uh, could we go talk someplace a little more private? 247 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,683 Sure. Just let Bruce finish first. 248 00:13:37,966 --> 00:13:39,351 You hungry, fella? 249 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,134 I know it feels like he's taking stuff off, 250 00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,971 but he's actually putting things on your head. 251 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,194 - Mmm! - What, you got cocaine in here? 252 00:13:51,196 --> 00:13:52,646 How the fuck did you get cocaine in here? 253 00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:54,450 Crushed-up SweeTARTS. 254 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,233 Desperate times, brother. 255 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,903 So, uh, I don't see you for years, 256 00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,408 and then you just show up on my doorstep like this. 257 00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:03,909 Uh, you don't see me for y... 258 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,911 We've been trying to track you down for years. 259 00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,995 - What do you want, Bob? - I want my best friend back. 260 00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:10,497 That's what I want. 261 00:14:10,499 --> 00:14:12,999 I want to know what the hell happened to you. 262 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,421 And why are you here... Five years? 263 00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,639 Oh, come on, man. 264 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,093 Seriously? 265 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:24,430 What could be so bad that you had to go down this road? 266 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,734 I lost my right testicle that night, Bob. 267 00:14:31,153 --> 00:14:33,655 Oh, I... I didn't... I didn't... 268 00:14:34,156 --> 00:14:35,441 I didn't know that. I'm sorry. 269 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,076 Yeah, that night they did surgery. 270 00:14:37,326 --> 00:14:38,911 I didn't feel anything for days, man. 271 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,495 I mean, it might have been the OxyContin talking, 272 00:14:41,497 --> 00:14:43,832 but, whoo, son! 273 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,666 But, uh something still wasn't right. 274 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,003 What do you mean? 275 00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:49,753 I guess in all the chaos, 276 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,788 nobody thought to check on my left nut, 277 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,458 - the only one I had left. - Oh, no. 278 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,261 It got a little staph infection, 279 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,014 and they had to remove that one too. 280 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:00,432 So you... 281 00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:02,267 Lost both my balls? Yeah. 282 00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:05,102 Ah, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry, man. 283 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,107 I had no idea. I don't even know what to say. 284 00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:11,894 I'm a fuckin' textbook alpha male, honest. 285 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,643 I am a wrecking ball. 286 00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,645 - I am a killing machine. - Okay. Okay. 287 00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:18,150 I bring food back to the village and lay all the women. 288 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,573 You know, life hasn't been all that good to me either, just so you know. 289 00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:27,991 My company is completely in the shitter. 290 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,462 I'm practically broke. I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment. 291 00:15:30,879 --> 00:15:31,830 - Really? - Yeah. 292 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:38,137 Goddamn it, man! We were on top of the world, weren't we? 293 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:41,340 Look, I know we're not as young and bulletproof as we used to be, 294 00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:43,976 but we got to where we were because we were good at what we did. 295 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,596 Who says that got to settle because life dealt us a couple of shitty hands? 296 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,731 You know what we need? 297 00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:50,849 A gun. 298 00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,520 No, we don't... not a... No, we don't need a gun. 299 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,605 Right. Two guns. One for each of us. Good catch. 300 00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,605 You know what else we need? 301 00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,243 - The Buddy Games. - You out of your fucking mind? 302 00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,610 - No. - That's the reason I'm in this place, 303 00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:05,612 in this goddamn robe, 304 00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:07,614 snorting crushed-up candies. 305 00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:10,919 I got tits, for Christ's sake! Fuck the Buddy Games! 306 00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:14,788 Let's not let one little hiccup destroy 20 years of greatness. 307 00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:18,675 You are... the Buddy Games. 308 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,513 You are our champion. You are our king. 309 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,298 - We need you to save us. - I'm the king? 310 00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,766 - You're the king. - Who's the king? 311 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,466 - You. - Mm-mmm. 312 00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:28,468 - Shelly. - Shelly's the fucking king. 313 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,389 If I'm the king, then I get to decide who's there. 314 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,224 Okay, sure. 315 00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:33,892 Then Bender can't be there. 316 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,229 Really? 317 00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:40,148 - Come on. - Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's one of us. 318 00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,032 What? After what he did to me? 319 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,534 Then forget it, man. Fuck you. Save yourselves. 320 00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:47,956 Okay, okay, you know what? Fine, fine. He doesn't even have to know. 321 00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,576 I'll call everybody else except for Bender. 322 00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:51,910 Get those fucking games back on. 323 00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,712 - Right on. One more thing. - What? 324 00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:54,997 Let me tell the guys. 325 00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:56,830 - About what? - My balls. 326 00:16:56,832 --> 00:16:58,083 What balls? 327 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,503 Too soon, sorry. Come on. 328 00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:05,005 Just give me a... 329 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,394 Bear. Look at you. 330 00:17:13,315 --> 00:17:15,734 What's the matter with you? 331 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,101 - Tell me you're in. - Are you kidding me? 332 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,772 Fuck, yeah! Yeah, I'm in! 333 00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,692 Bitches are going down! 334 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,363 Stay Golden. 335 00:17:30,365 --> 00:17:32,866 - Zanester! - Bobfather! 336 00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,918 "Boobfather." 337 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,289 What's up, man? 338 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,675 - The games are back, baby! - What? 339 00:17:40,175 --> 00:17:41,627 - And Shelly's in. - You're kidding me. 340 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,428 - No, I'm not. - Shelly's... 341 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,712 Yeah, count me in, man. Count me in. Sounds delish. 342 00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:48,216 - All right, buddy, let's talk soon. - Okay. 343 00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,103 Holy shit. 344 00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,472 Whoo! 345 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,784 - Bobby! - Hey, Durfy, you got a minute to talk? 346 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,234 - Uh... - Okay, that's a cut on rehearsal. 347 00:18:08,236 --> 00:18:10,289 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a second. 348 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:14,242 - I'm just shooting a major motion picture right now. - Please face camera. 349 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,660 Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So what's up, dude? 350 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,912 Buddy Games, they're back. Are you in? 351 00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:21,414 Um, I feel like that would be a little weird without Shelly now. 352 00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:23,717 - No, no, he's in. - Then I'm there. 353 00:18:23,719 --> 00:18:26,221 - I can't wait to see him. - All right, I'll talk to you soon, buddy. 354 00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:28,390 Thank you, second team. First team on set. 355 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,256 - Hey, Mr. McDonough. - Hey, how are you? 356 00:18:30,258 --> 00:18:32,761 Yeah, good. So your mark is right there. 357 00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,763 - Thank you. - Yeah, you're gonna be looking... 358 00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:38,150 - Right. Mm, mm, mm... - ...right over there. Okay. 359 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,269 Don't be too nervous. You already got the job. 360 00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:43,570 Maybe grab a quick pic, though, together? 361 00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:46,408 - Then we can tag each other. - Inappropriate, but, yeah, sure. 362 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,274 - Have you heard of Facebook? - Yeah, I guess. 363 00:18:48,276 --> 00:18:49,695 - I'm gonna pop it on there. - That's great. 364 00:18:50,078 --> 00:18:51,661 Hey, here with my top dog, 365 00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:53,031 - Neil McDonough. - Is that a video? 366 00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:54,864 - It is a video. Is that okay? - Yeah, n... 367 00:18:54,866 --> 00:18:56,868 - You'd rather I take a picture? - Second team, what are you doing? 368 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,171 One second. I'll just do a video. I'll be really quick. 369 00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:16,688 Hello? 370 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:18,190 Hey. 371 00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,778 - Looks like someone's been busy. - I have been busy. 372 00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:26,114 What do you think about taking a vacation? 373 00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:29,949 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? Oh, my gosh, good. 374 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,951 'Cause I went through our calendars, and there's a couple things we can move, 375 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,905 and we can make it work out. We can go anywhere. 376 00:19:34,289 --> 00:19:36,158 Do you smell something burning? 377 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,491 Oh! Damn it. 378 00:19:38,493 --> 00:19:40,746 Oh! Ugh! 379 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:41,546 Oh! 380 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,048 Are you... 381 00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,919 Dang! I burned it. 382 00:19:48,136 --> 00:19:50,722 Could you... Could you turn back? 383 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,558 I made three of these. 384 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,011 The other two didn't actually turn out so well either, but... 385 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,513 oh, well. 386 00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:02,401 Well, you know what? We can always scrape it off and still eat the inside. 387 00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:08,021 Oh, I was gonna ask you, what was going on with Mrs. Baldinger? 388 00:20:08,023 --> 00:20:10,523 Oh, uh... Yeah, no, that's... 389 00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:12,994 Shelly's not doing so hot. He is on suicide watch. 390 00:20:13,528 --> 00:20:15,447 - What? Poor Sheldon. - Yeah. 391 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,113 He needs my help, babe. 392 00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:18,915 Yeah, of course. Whatever he needs. 393 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,951 Mary Ann thinks that I should get the guys back together 394 00:20:21,953 --> 00:20:24,423 for the Buddy Games. 395 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,925 - And what'd you tell her? - Well, no. 396 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,211 - Good. - At first, and then I said yes. 397 00:20:29,594 --> 00:20:32,097 - And then you said yes? - Of course. You know? 398 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:35,098 Are you sure you don't want to think about this for a second? 399 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,102 - I have thought about it. - You have thought about it? 400 00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:39,938 It's a really good idea. What better to get him off his feet? 401 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,722 You really think that getting the guys together for a weekend of teabagging 402 00:20:42,724 --> 00:20:44,559 will stop Sheldon from killing himself? 403 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,062 Yeah. I do. 404 00:20:47,362 --> 00:20:48,947 Okay, so then, um, what's next for us? 405 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,899 Um... 406 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:53,867 - Oh, my God, you don't know. - I do know. 407 00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,454 - You don't know. - Yeah, I know. 408 00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,407 We've grown up, and it's not gonna be like it was before. 409 00:20:59,741 --> 00:21:01,124 How do you know? You haven't seen these guys in forever. 410 00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,460 Can somebody open the goddamn door? 411 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,961 Is that Bender? 412 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:07,415 Oh, sounds like he's grown up. I'm gonna go. 413 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,916 You know what? That's a good idea. Let me deal with him, 414 00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:11,584 and I'll meet you for dinner later. 415 00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:14,339 - No, Bob, I'm leaving. - What do you mean, you're... 416 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,506 Okay. 417 00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,810 You have the Buddy Games, right? 418 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,229 I'm taking the helicopter. 419 00:21:29,237 --> 00:21:31,740 Dixon fuckin' Bender. 420 00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:34,274 - How are you, man? - Well, I'd be lying 421 00:21:34,276 --> 00:21:37,195 if I said everything was rainbows and unicorns. 422 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:38,914 You're still struggling, huh? 423 00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,247 Yeah, I've been eating shit, actually. 424 00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:44,619 Went through my mom's inheritance, and, uh, now I'm living in my van. 425 00:21:44,953 --> 00:21:46,538 So, you know, fuck me. 426 00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:49,541 I don't want to talk about it. Know what I want to talk about? 427 00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,043 I want to talk about Buddy Games. 428 00:21:52,427 --> 00:21:55,380 - Uh, what about Buddy Games? - I heard through the grapevine 429 00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:59,215 not only are they back on, but Shelly's back? 430 00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,553 Where the fuck has he been, and why didn't you call me? 431 00:22:01,803 --> 00:22:04,139 - Uh, listen... - I want to know when and where they are. 432 00:22:04,639 --> 00:22:05,941 I need to sleep on your couch. 433 00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:08,527 I'll take a bed. I'll take whatever. 434 00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,061 But I need some sleep. 435 00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:15,233 Uh... there's an entry fee this year. 436 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:16,618 Okay, yeah. All right. 437 00:22:17,118 --> 00:22:19,454 Like, how much? Like, ten bucks? 438 00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:24,374 $10,000? Our friends that I've known... 439 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,244 we've known forever... they now all of a sudden 440 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,712 have $10,000 in side cash they can just throw around? 441 00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:32,083 Durfy does? He still owes me 20 bucks. 442 00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:33,969 - That's what the guys wanted to do. I'm sorry. - Fine. 443 00:22:34,336 --> 00:22:36,421 We'll play your high-stakes shit, okay? 444 00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:39,674 But I want to play, so can you front me the money? 445 00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:41,975 No. Things are, uh, a little tight 446 00:22:41,977 --> 00:22:43,762 at the moment, so I can't. 447 00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:45,897 Yeah, I can tell. You're roughing it. 448 00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:49,100 Just let me play. You can. You can because you're the Bobfather. 449 00:22:49,484 --> 00:22:51,987 So you created this world. You make the rules. 450 00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,938 So you could go, "Hey, remember our friend Bender? 451 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,741 Can he come and play?" 452 00:22:58,526 --> 00:23:01,580 I can't. Just figured it out. Shelly. 453 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,448 Now this makes sense. Holy shit. 454 00:23:03,832 --> 00:23:05,415 Because five years ago, 455 00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:07,702 I accidentally cracked his nut. 456 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,036 - I'm really sorry, okay? - He lost both of his balls. 457 00:23:10,038 --> 00:23:13,122 - He lost both his fucking balls. - What? 458 00:23:13,124 --> 00:23:14,793 Goddamn you, man! 459 00:23:15,043 --> 00:23:16,127 Both of them? 460 00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,681 - I don't want to talk about it. You got to go. - Bob, I didn't know. 461 00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:21,464 - You got to go. - All right, all right. 462 00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,969 I love you, dude, but you gotta fucking go. 463 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:40,535 You're leaving right now? 464 00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:42,570 Where are you going? 465 00:23:44,789 --> 00:23:47,659 Really? Really, Bob? 466 00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:51,546 You can't float me any cash? Really? 467 00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:54,047 Damn it, man! Come on! 468 00:23:54,049 --> 00:23:55,550 What a dick! 469 00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,679 All right, I'll tell you what. 470 00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:11,014 I'll give you 25 for the china, 50 for the ring, 471 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,816 - Fifty? - A hundred for the locket, a hundred for the paintings, 472 00:24:13,818 --> 00:24:17,322 and, uh, $100 for the rest of this crap. 473 00:24:17,822 --> 00:24:20,239 - 375. We got a deal? - What? No, we don't have a deal. 474 00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:23,995 $50 for a diamond? That was my mother's wedding ring. 475 00:24:24,195 --> 00:24:26,029 It's fake, fella. 476 00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:27,780 What? 477 00:24:27,782 --> 00:24:30,333 Fuckin' motherfucker! 478 00:24:30,335 --> 00:24:33,004 She gave him 47 years. 479 00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:34,756 That should be a Purple Heart! 480 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:36,675 That would actually be worth something. 481 00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:38,043 Fine. Okay. 482 00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:40,845 All right, fine. What about the china? 483 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,048 You can't tell me that's fake. 'Cause that says, 484 00:24:43,431 --> 00:24:45,300 "Made in China." Okay. 485 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,552 So I will take no less 486 00:24:47,936 --> 00:24:50,520 than a thousand for all this, and that's final. 487 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:52,555 I'll tell you what. 488 00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:54,059 I'll give you 375. 489 00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:57,562 She's still dead. 490 00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:00,982 500. $500. 491 00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,450 Okay. 492 00:25:03,451 --> 00:25:04,953 I don't normally do this... 493 00:25:05,954 --> 00:25:07,405 but I'm gonna give you 375. 494 00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:10,825 Oh, you're really having fun, aren't you? 495 00:25:14,462 --> 00:25:16,164 Can I hold the locket one more time? 496 00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:19,250 Can you give me that, you surly fuck? 497 00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,254 - Can I keep the picture? - Sure. 498 00:25:25,256 --> 00:25:27,592 That'll be $5. 499 00:25:32,147 --> 00:25:34,147 Hey! 500 00:25:34,149 --> 00:25:36,933 - Asshole! - Sorry. I'm in training. 501 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:39,104 We're gonna test your range of motion, all right? 502 00:25:39,354 --> 00:25:41,437 I want you to hold on to this ball here, 503 00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:43,908 and you're gonna go from side to side. 504 00:25:44,275 --> 00:25:46,327 Oh! He steals the ball! 505 00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,530 Oh! 506 00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:51,449 Mr. Hornbacher, I am so sorry. 507 00:25:52,867 --> 00:25:55,336 Yeah, some lemonade, please. 508 00:25:57,372 --> 00:25:58,456 Thank you. 509 00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:01,960 Thank you. 510 00:26:12,303 --> 00:26:15,271 Hey, what do we have here? 511 00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:17,807 Saddle up, you old grisly bird. 512 00:26:17,809 --> 00:26:20,779 Yeah. 513 00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,562 Yeah, beauty. 514 00:26:22,564 --> 00:26:24,397 Cheers. 515 00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:26,785 You're breaking the law, mister! 516 00:26:26,985 --> 00:26:30,820 You need a liquor license to sell vodka. 517 00:26:30,822 --> 00:26:34,123 And you need to recognize a business opportunity. 518 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:37,495 So MYOB, little bitches! 519 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,715 - He just said the "B" word! - Shame on you! 520 00:26:40,965 --> 00:26:42,548 You're both gonna be strippers when you grow up, 521 00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,502 really bad ones that no one pays to see. 522 00:26:44,919 --> 00:26:45,920 Ew! 523 00:26:46,254 --> 00:26:48,256 I'm texting the police! 524 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,808 Fuck. 525 00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:55,261 - Hey, what are you doing? - Stop! 526 00:26:55,263 --> 00:26:57,146 Hey, come back here! 527 00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:58,983 Get on the pole! 528 00:26:59,267 --> 00:27:00,602 What are you doing? Stop! 529 00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:04,322 - Give us our money! Come back! - You're bad kids! 530 00:27:06,941 --> 00:27:09,525 He took our money! Stop! Hey! 531 00:27:11,996 --> 00:27:13,079 Pig! 532 00:27:13,081 --> 00:27:14,499 Mom! 533 00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:19,420 She didn't tell me. 534 00:27:19,921 --> 00:27:22,338 I thought I had cancer, damn it. Okay. 535 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:24,259 I thought I had cancer, damn it. 536 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:27,593 You all knew what I was, and you didn't tell me? 537 00:27:27,595 --> 00:27:30,098 I thought I had cancer, damn it! 538 00:27:31,599 --> 00:27:33,384 Hmm. 539 00:27:34,135 --> 00:27:35,637 Fuck. 540 00:27:37,639 --> 00:27:39,641 What the fuck. Was that any good? 541 00:27:44,529 --> 00:27:46,231 - Yeah. - Hey, little brother. 542 00:27:46,481 --> 00:27:47,565 Little busy today. What do you need? 543 00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,068 I need to borrow a couple bucks. 544 00:27:51,452 --> 00:27:53,452 Thought you said this Hollywood thing was working out. 545 00:27:53,454 --> 00:27:56,405 It is. I just murdered an audition 546 00:27:56,407 --> 00:27:58,710 for a CW pilot right before I called you. 547 00:27:58,877 --> 00:28:01,460 And I'm in postproduction on something right now. 548 00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:02,830 What the fuck is postproduction? 549 00:28:03,131 --> 00:28:06,551 I star in a national commercial for the Marines. 550 00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:08,386 Well, I'm sure Dad would have been proud. 551 00:28:08,887 --> 00:28:10,722 He'd have been more proud if you were an actual fucking Marine. 552 00:28:10,972 --> 00:28:13,474 Jack, you are hurting my feelings a little bit, but yes. 553 00:28:13,808 --> 00:28:16,394 Jesus Christ. Listen to me. Do you know how hard it is 554 00:28:16,895 --> 00:28:18,895 trying to keep this family business profitable 555 00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:20,765 without having to finance your little pipe dreams? 556 00:28:21,182 --> 00:28:22,734 Dad left this to you, not me. 557 00:28:23,067 --> 00:28:25,151 How long's it gonna be before you figure out 558 00:28:25,153 --> 00:28:28,106 that this acting thing is a fucking waste of time? 559 00:28:28,606 --> 00:28:33,027 You know, sister's out here. Belly's as big as shit, 560 00:28:33,361 --> 00:28:34,913 but she's sweating her balls off just like the rest of us. 561 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,363 So why don't you think about that while you're out there 562 00:28:37,365 --> 00:28:39,867 in La-La Land eating your goddamn avocado sandwiches? 563 00:28:40,368 --> 00:28:42,370 - You don't know what I... - I got work to do. Real work. 564 00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:44,839 Look it up. Fuck-head. 565 00:29:00,722 --> 00:29:02,722 Full penetration's an extra hundred. 566 00:29:02,724 --> 00:29:05,226 Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! 567 00:29:05,727 --> 00:29:07,528 I'm giving you the early-bird special. 568 00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:09,781 Shut up and dig! Dig, boy! 569 00:29:11,649 --> 00:29:13,067 How many labias do you have? 570 00:29:13,451 --> 00:29:16,035 Oh, I just farted! Just keep going! 571 00:29:16,037 --> 00:29:17,822 Oh, it's bad! 572 00:29:22,126 --> 00:29:23,542 Oh, no! 573 00:29:23,544 --> 00:29:27,882 No! 574 00:29:38,843 --> 00:29:40,345 Looking great, hon. 575 00:29:40,845 --> 00:29:43,648 - Yeah? - Gorgeous. 576 00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:45,431 Come on, angel. Time to go. 577 00:29:46,901 --> 00:29:50,822 Hey, honey, it's me, checking in again. 578 00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,523 I just want to make sure that you're okay out there, 579 00:29:54,525 --> 00:29:56,527 wherever you are. 580 00:29:57,028 --> 00:29:59,030 I just want to know why you stormed off like that, 581 00:29:59,530 --> 00:30:01,614 why you hate these guys so much. 582 00:30:01,616 --> 00:30:03,616 Look, we need to talk. 583 00:30:40,204 --> 00:30:42,206 Oh, here we are. 584 00:30:45,710 --> 00:30:47,578 Okay. 585 00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:50,463 Oh, wow. 586 00:30:50,465 --> 00:30:53,251 Oh, I bet this brings back some fond memories, huh? 587 00:30:54,585 --> 00:30:57,472 Last time I was here, I was getting wheeled out on a stretcher. 588 00:30:58,389 --> 00:30:59,891 Well, not that memory. 589 00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:03,394 - Welcome back, buddy! - Oh, hey. 590 00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:05,344 - You made it. - Yeah. 591 00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:07,313 Hey, I got to defend my title, right? 592 00:31:07,315 --> 00:31:09,233 - I'm gonna take that back. - Hey! Hey! 593 00:31:09,517 --> 00:31:12,854 Oh, talking smack already. How much fun is this, huh? 594 00:31:13,104 --> 00:31:16,188 - All right, Mama. - Okay, I'll let you boys be. 595 00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:18,493 - Come on. - Hold that for a second. 596 00:31:18,693 --> 00:31:22,080 Just a second. You only hold it while I get out of the car. 597 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,163 Good luck, sweetie. 598 00:31:24,165 --> 00:31:26,082 - So good to see you. - Give 'em hell, hon. 599 00:31:26,084 --> 00:31:27,869 - Bye, Mom. Thanks. - Bye, Mary Ann. 600 00:31:28,035 --> 00:31:29,618 - Thanks. - Bye, Mama. Thank you. 601 00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:33,089 - Welcome back, man. - The place hasn't changed much. 602 00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:34,592 Yeah. Yeah. 603 00:31:36,094 --> 00:31:37,595 Hey, there's, uh... 604 00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:42,431 There's something that I wasn't entirely honest with you about. 605 00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:46,053 - My company did well. - How well? 606 00:31:46,270 --> 00:31:50,691 Well, I sold it for... approximately 387 million. 607 00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:52,525 Wow! That's... 608 00:31:52,527 --> 00:31:55,446 - I'm... Holy... - Yeah, it's been a... 609 00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:58,366 - Congratulations, brother. - ...a pretty good couple of years, thanks. 610 00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:01,367 Life just hasn't been the same without you. 611 00:32:01,369 --> 00:32:03,371 That part was true. 612 00:32:04,872 --> 00:32:07,373 You didn't tell the guys about my... 613 00:32:07,375 --> 00:32:09,877 Your balls? No. No. Definitely not. 614 00:32:11,379 --> 00:32:12,880 I'm not sure I can believe you now, Bob. 615 00:32:13,381 --> 00:32:14,882 Yeah? Well, believe this. 616 00:32:15,383 --> 00:32:17,385 - You're with friends now. - Hey, boobs! 617 00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:20,805 - Is that your dad? - Hey, Mr. Schmidt. 618 00:32:21,139 --> 00:32:22,673 No, no, no. That's... That's Shelly. 619 00:32:23,641 --> 00:32:25,643 Oh, my God. What the hell? 620 00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:28,146 Holy shit, Sheldon! 621 00:32:28,646 --> 00:32:31,147 - Fuck you guys. - Are you kidding me? 622 00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:33,149 He's back! 623 00:32:33,151 --> 00:32:35,351 Get the fuck off of me. 624 00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,355 Get off of me. Get off of me. 625 00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:40,856 Hands off, hands off. 626 00:32:40,858 --> 00:32:42,693 That's right. 627 00:32:45,079 --> 00:32:46,948 Oh, so, um, 628 00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:49,167 I had to say goodbye to the guys in Bon Jovi 629 00:32:49,450 --> 00:32:52,870 and start the journey home, man. 630 00:32:53,287 --> 00:32:55,373 I just realized I couldn't run from it anymore. 631 00:32:55,873 --> 00:32:57,875 That's reality. That's it. 632 00:32:58,292 --> 00:33:00,878 You still got his number, Bon Jovi? 633 00:33:03,681 --> 00:33:05,132 Come on, Doc. Some decorum. 634 00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:08,052 Shel, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, man. 635 00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:09,387 Thanks. 636 00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:11,439 But tell me about the chicks from Tibet, man. 637 00:33:11,973 --> 00:33:13,808 'Cause I've heard they're smoking hot. True or false? 638 00:33:14,108 --> 00:33:15,526 - Nah, I never heard that. - I never heard that. 639 00:33:16,027 --> 00:33:17,443 You guys haven't heard... 640 00:33:17,445 --> 00:33:19,480 The point is that our king is back. Look at this. 641 00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:22,149 He sure as hell is. 642 00:33:22,316 --> 00:33:24,151 Let's make a toast. Oh, wait. Somebody's here. 643 00:33:24,368 --> 00:33:27,038 - Nut check! - Oh! 644 00:33:27,371 --> 00:33:29,740 Oh! Oh! 645 00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,792 - Nut tap! - You're lucky they were low. I didn't really feel much. 646 00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:37,665 You dodged a bullet. I just felt log. 647 00:33:37,999 --> 00:33:40,082 I'm very happy to see we're still doing that. 648 00:33:40,084 --> 00:33:42,053 No shit, because that is... 649 00:33:42,386 --> 00:33:44,889 That's the kind of stuff I missed, man, all my travels. 650 00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:47,758 It was the camaraderie, being with you guys, just... 651 00:33:48,092 --> 00:33:50,177 the connection with other people, you know? 652 00:33:50,561 --> 00:33:52,647 I feel bad I didn't reach back out to you guys. 653 00:33:53,147 --> 00:33:56,651 'Cause I got all the cards and the notes and everything. I just had a lot on my mind. 654 00:33:56,934 --> 00:33:58,986 - It just wasn't... - You kidding? We love you, man. 655 00:33:59,403 --> 00:34:00,855 What... 656 00:34:05,159 --> 00:34:06,744 I know that horn. Yeah. 657 00:34:07,161 --> 00:34:08,529 It's got to be. 658 00:34:08,746 --> 00:34:10,281 Whoo! What? 659 00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:13,749 What? Buddy Games! 660 00:34:13,751 --> 00:34:15,920 Yeah! 661 00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:19,206 - There he is! - Hey, you guys, Bender's here! 662 00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:21,425 You fucking bastard. 663 00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:23,711 He's not supposed to be here. 664 00:34:24,045 --> 00:34:25,628 Come on. I'm not gonna miss the Buddy Games. 665 00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:27,098 That's insane. What's up, Durf? 666 00:34:27,431 --> 00:34:29,016 Bender! 667 00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:31,802 - Who's that guy? - Hey, man. How are ya? 668 00:34:32,603 --> 00:34:33,971 Are you lost? 669 00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:36,138 Sheldon. What's up, bud? 670 00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:38,440 I got nothing to say to you, buddy. 671 00:34:38,442 --> 00:34:40,442 You got a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here. 672 00:34:40,444 --> 00:34:43,564 I knew you were gonna say that, and I'm here for peace. 673 00:34:43,814 --> 00:34:45,316 Okay? Hear me out. 674 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,904 Look, man, the past is in the past, dude. 675 00:34:51,906 --> 00:34:54,375 There's nothing we can do about it. What happened, happened. 676 00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,794 All I care about is the future 677 00:34:57,078 --> 00:34:58,963 and our prosperity, 678 00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,581 and that's why I'm here. 679 00:35:01,465 --> 00:35:03,884 Sheldon, I give you... 680 00:35:04,218 --> 00:35:07,338 - Cuban cigars. - No, Doc, but good guess. 681 00:35:07,755 --> 00:35:10,141 This is something a little bit more special. 682 00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:19,767 What is this? 683 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,519 It's my... my seed. 684 00:35:21,769 --> 00:35:24,655 My... baby sauce. 685 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:26,657 - What? - Dick matter. 686 00:35:34,615 --> 00:35:37,533 - Are you... Are you for real? - Wow, Dixon fucking Bender. 687 00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:39,668 Oh, that's a lot of loads. 688 00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:41,255 Uh, it's nine, to be exact. 689 00:35:41,455 --> 00:35:42,506 Whoa, there. 690 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,041 - Dude, two days, that took me. - Ugh. 691 00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:47,094 Bender, you are a fucking hero, man. 692 00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:50,598 - That's kind of weird, man. - Was there a memo? 693 00:35:50,848 --> 00:35:52,798 Were we supposed to bring semen? I didn't bring semen. Durfy? 694 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:56,051 Bender, that's a very gross present. Why did you give him that? 695 00:35:56,053 --> 00:35:59,054 It's not gross. It's not gross, okay? 696 00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:02,226 Our friend, our very good friend here, Sheldon, 697 00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:05,479 he lost both of his testicles. 698 00:36:06,364 --> 00:36:07,231 Oh... 699 00:36:08,783 --> 00:36:09,700 Is that true, Shelly? 700 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,904 It's true. I, uh... They're both gone. 701 00:36:15,906 --> 00:36:19,293 I'm... I'm, uh... I'm like a Ken doll down there now. 702 00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:21,660 Hey, Ken had a good life. 703 00:36:21,662 --> 00:36:25,583 He had a hot blonde, a Corvette. Right? 704 00:36:27,168 --> 00:36:29,253 Ah, look, I mean, I can't complain. 705 00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:31,839 - Now I can have kids. - You can have dozens. 706 00:36:32,223 --> 00:36:35,007 So, that's my peace offering, 707 00:36:35,009 --> 00:36:38,512 and I just want to know, are we cool? 708 00:36:41,732 --> 00:36:44,233 Yeah. Yeah. 709 00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,103 All right. Whew! 710 00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:47,488 - Oh, thank God. - Are you kidding me? 711 00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:49,323 - Come on. - Love you, brother. 712 00:36:49,573 --> 00:36:51,358 It worked. Thought we were gonna see some blows. 713 00:36:51,575 --> 00:36:53,661 Thank you very much. That's really fucking awesome. 714 00:36:54,111 --> 00:36:55,944 I love that. Know what else I love? Alcohol! 715 00:36:55,946 --> 00:36:57,413 Let's go to the tiki bar. Come on. 716 00:36:57,415 --> 00:36:59,415 - Tiki bar! - All right. 717 00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,418 Go for it. 718 00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:03,871 - I can't believe that worked... - Thanks, Bob. 719 00:37:04,255 --> 00:37:05,756 'Cause that's your fault, right? 720 00:37:07,124 --> 00:37:08,509 - Whoa! - What the hell? 721 00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:11,376 Dude, what is all this money? What is that? 722 00:37:11,378 --> 00:37:13,681 Dude, it was not easy. 723 00:37:14,181 --> 00:37:16,133 I mean, a $10,000 entry fee? 724 00:37:16,684 --> 00:37:18,135 That was not easy to scrape up, 725 00:37:18,686 --> 00:37:20,638 but I banged and bartered my way for those Benjamins. 726 00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:23,557 Pretty much sold my soul, and, uh, don't give a shit. 727 00:37:23,891 --> 00:37:25,476 But at the end of the day, I'm gonna win that... 728 00:37:25,976 --> 00:37:28,362 ♪ $60,000, whores ♪ 729 00:37:28,612 --> 00:37:30,531 Entry fee? What entry fee? 730 00:37:30,815 --> 00:37:32,650 - I'm lost. - Bender... 731 00:37:33,951 --> 00:37:36,287 I'm sorry, Bender. There was never an entry fee. 732 00:37:36,537 --> 00:37:38,620 What? 733 00:37:38,622 --> 00:37:42,991 I'm sorry, but I didn't have the heart to tell you, man, you weren't invited. 734 00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:45,296 We didn't feel comfortable with you here this year. 735 00:37:45,579 --> 00:37:48,632 You know, you could've told me that. That would have been a lot easier. 736 00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:50,549 I didn't think you were gonna come up with ten thou... 737 00:37:50,551 --> 00:37:53,387 I mean, 10,000 bucks? Really? That's crazy! 738 00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,172 - Oh, my God. - Are you fucking kidding me? 739 00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:58,309 I made up everything about the fee and the pot. I'm sorry. 740 00:37:58,509 --> 00:38:02,094 You're sorry? I sold all of my shit! All of it! 741 00:38:02,096 --> 00:38:04,096 I sold all my mom's stuff. 742 00:38:04,098 --> 00:38:07,067 I gave a bum a hand job for $30. 743 00:38:07,485 --> 00:38:10,187 - Ooh, expand on that. - No, I'm not going to. You want to smell my hand? 744 00:38:10,404 --> 00:38:12,488 I don't think so. No, probably not. 745 00:38:12,490 --> 00:38:14,024 Bob, you fucked me, man! 746 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,527 You promised me 60 grand, so you better fix this. 747 00:38:17,027 --> 00:38:19,864 I can't get that stuff back. I can't take that hand job back. 748 00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:23,083 This has always been about pride. You said it yourself. This is about the brotherhood. 749 00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:24,833 This is not about money or anything else. 750 00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:26,120 Oh, fuck that! 751 00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:28,372 Yeah, it's not about money, because you have money. 752 00:38:28,589 --> 00:38:30,291 - All right? Zane. - Yeah? 753 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,043 Could you use $60,000 for your tanning business? 754 00:38:33,427 --> 00:38:35,346 - Yes. - Yeah. 755 00:38:35,629 --> 00:38:37,848 - Durf, what about you, bud? - Yeah. 756 00:38:38,215 --> 00:38:41,218 - It's a hard yes from you. It should be. Doc? - Yeah. 757 00:38:41,635 --> 00:38:43,888 Exactly. And Shelly needs new straitjackets. You see, Bob? 758 00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:47,022 We all fucking need. 759 00:38:47,024 --> 00:38:51,061 But not you, man. You don't have the need for anything. 760 00:38:55,616 --> 00:38:58,402 Zane, could I spot you 10,000 bucks? 761 00:38:58,652 --> 00:39:00,037 - Just this once. - What about you, Durfy? Can I spot you? 762 00:39:00,538 --> 00:39:03,539 - What about you? Doc? Shelly? - Yeah, I won't say no. 763 00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:04,992 50,000 bucks. 764 00:39:05,376 --> 00:39:06,961 - That's great. What about you? - What about me? 765 00:39:07,461 --> 00:39:08,796 What are you gonna spot yourself? 766 00:39:09,630 --> 00:39:10,831 Can you believe this fucking guy? 767 00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:12,383 Well, yeah. 768 00:39:12,716 --> 00:39:14,585 It's so crazy! I sold all my shit. 769 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,922 I'm gonna match the fucking pot. How does that sound? 770 00:39:18,422 --> 00:39:20,558 Hundred thousand bucks! 771 00:39:20,975 --> 00:39:22,343 We're gonna play for 100,000 bucks. 772 00:39:22,509 --> 00:39:24,428 I like it, I don't love it. 773 00:39:24,678 --> 00:39:25,846 - One-fifty. - Yes! Done. 774 00:39:26,180 --> 00:39:29,066 - 150,000 bucks! - 150 grand! 775 00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:32,603 - Oh! - Looks like we got ourselves a Buddy Game. 776 00:39:34,021 --> 00:39:34,939 Yes! 777 00:39:41,829 --> 00:39:43,779 All right, boys, here we go! 778 00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:45,616 The Buddy Games are back, baby! 779 00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:50,452 Kicking off this year's event: Kong's Crucible. 780 00:39:50,454 --> 00:39:52,423 It's a giant obstacle course, 781 00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:54,625 complete with corn dogs, bubble balls, 782 00:39:54,959 --> 00:39:57,177 watermelons, electric eels. 783 00:39:57,378 --> 00:39:59,294 - What's that? - Don't ask. 784 00:39:59,296 --> 00:40:01,515 Once you get through there, it's mud pits, 785 00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:03,298 motorcycles, beer bongs, 786 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,687 and one big-ass waterslide. 787 00:40:07,054 --> 00:40:09,638 You're gonna catch a lot of air, I'm gonna warn you right now, 788 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,139 but, very important to note, 789 00:40:11,141 --> 00:40:13,444 the only way you win is if you capture the flag. 790 00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:15,729 Whoever captures the flag wins the event. 791 00:40:16,146 --> 00:40:18,198 Top three finalists at the end of today's events 792 00:40:18,732 --> 00:40:21,151 competes in tomorrow's final event, the endgame. 793 00:40:21,535 --> 00:40:23,454 Oh, by the way, Shelly, we got near beer for you. 794 00:40:23,737 --> 00:40:25,572 - Copy. - Wait, what? 795 00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:28,042 - He's in the program, Bender. - I can't mix my meds with alcohol. 796 00:40:28,459 --> 00:40:29,827 He can't drink alcohol period. 797 00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:31,795 That seems like an unfair advantage. 798 00:40:32,079 --> 00:40:34,915 - It's still beer, dick face! - Why don't you just get him a Fresca. 799 00:40:35,215 --> 00:40:38,585 Are you trying to mind-fuck me, mijo? 'Cause I invented mind-fucking. 800 00:40:38,802 --> 00:40:40,888 - I'll come all over your mind. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 801 00:40:41,388 --> 00:40:42,890 What the fuck is wrong with you? 802 00:40:43,390 --> 00:40:45,225 Insane Clown Pussy. 803 00:40:45,426 --> 00:40:47,344 Are you ready for this? 804 00:40:48,062 --> 00:40:49,480 - Boom! - Eat! 805 00:41:14,922 --> 00:41:16,674 Goddamn, dude! 806 00:41:20,928 --> 00:41:22,763 What the fuck? 807 00:42:11,228 --> 00:42:13,313 High voltage? What... 808 00:42:20,521 --> 00:42:23,240 - Oh! Oh, God! - Get over here! 809 00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:48,382 Go, go, go, go! 810 00:43:03,313 --> 00:43:05,816 Fuck you! Eat it! Eat it! 811 00:43:12,956 --> 00:43:14,324 Coming for you! 812 00:43:14,625 --> 00:43:15,991 Come on! 813 00:43:15,993 --> 00:43:17,744 I can suck way harder than you, Bender! 814 00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:19,630 Let's get it! 815 00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:24,835 Fuck it. 816 00:43:34,561 --> 00:43:35,512 Ah, good! 817 00:43:35,929 --> 00:43:36,980 Cheaters! 818 00:43:39,149 --> 00:43:40,684 Not today! 819 00:43:42,436 --> 00:43:44,605 Don't touch me, Bender! Aaah! 820 00:43:48,075 --> 00:43:51,528 I am Kong King! 821 00:43:56,950 --> 00:43:58,418 Stop Shelly! 822 00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:08,178 Oh, no! Oh, no! 823 00:44:08,545 --> 00:44:11,131 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 824 00:44:15,102 --> 00:44:16,553 Son of a bitch! 825 00:44:52,139 --> 00:44:53,638 You finished? 826 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,057 Bob put zero effort into this event. 827 00:44:56,059 --> 00:44:57,559 This is fucking dumb. 828 00:44:57,561 --> 00:44:59,477 Oh, come on. I lost my whole lure. 829 00:45:04,184 --> 00:45:05,767 Is there money in there? 830 00:45:05,769 --> 00:45:07,654 - Open it. - Be careful, Doc. 831 00:45:13,026 --> 00:45:14,111 Yeah! 832 00:45:15,612 --> 00:45:17,497 Oh, no! 833 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,286 - Don't touch it! Don't touch it! - Oh, God! 834 00:45:43,106 --> 00:45:44,191 Yeah, baby. 835 00:45:44,691 --> 00:45:46,191 Okay. Remember them well. 836 00:45:46,193 --> 00:45:48,195 All right, here we are, boys... the old watering hole. 837 00:45:48,695 --> 00:45:50,530 The old Spread Eagle Bar and Grill. 838 00:45:52,399 --> 00:45:54,701 It's also the home of our next challenge. 839 00:45:54,952 --> 00:45:56,820 So full of curveballs. 840 00:45:57,070 --> 00:45:58,155 Who here thinks they got what it takes 841 00:45:58,655 --> 00:45:59,573 when it comes to charming the ladies? 842 00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:02,793 Well, that's part of it. 843 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,661 You think you can get a girl to buy you a drink? 844 00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:06,580 Okay, easy enough. 845 00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:08,830 Take them on the dance floor and maybe get a kiss on the lips? 846 00:46:08,832 --> 00:46:11,132 - Oh, please. - Bob, come on. 847 00:46:11,134 --> 00:46:13,303 Okay, well, who can do that 848 00:46:13,587 --> 00:46:15,472 without shitting your pants first? 849 00:46:18,175 --> 00:46:20,175 Yeah, you all got real serious now, didn't you? 850 00:46:20,177 --> 00:46:22,145 - Bob, that's perverse. - Nope, that's the next challenge. 851 00:46:22,479 --> 00:46:24,429 I like to call it "intestinal fortitude." 852 00:46:24,431 --> 00:46:27,315 Man, this is the dumbest shit ever. Are you fucking kidding me? 853 00:46:27,317 --> 00:46:29,152 - No. - Corn dogs and laxatives? 854 00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:31,569 You are the ones that wanted to play for 150,000 bucks. 855 00:46:31,571 --> 00:46:33,023 I'm just trying to make you earn it. 856 00:46:33,407 --> 00:46:35,490 Sounds like somebody doesn't want to compete. 857 00:46:35,492 --> 00:46:37,993 - And if you don't compete... - You must concede. 858 00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:41,696 I'm not conceding! I'm a fucking cock rooster. Gonna get me a chicken. 859 00:46:41,698 --> 00:46:44,451 - Here we go. - Oh, man. 860 00:47:04,021 --> 00:47:05,305 Oh, my God. 861 00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:09,607 - Your bag is everything. - Oh, thank you. 862 00:47:09,609 --> 00:47:11,893 - I'm sorry. May I? - Absolutely. 863 00:47:11,895 --> 00:47:13,947 - Look at that. - It's watermelon. 864 00:47:14,147 --> 00:47:16,064 I think I might be the last piece to this puzzle. 865 00:47:16,066 --> 00:47:17,868 Oh! 866 00:47:19,703 --> 00:47:21,536 My mouth is very dry. 867 00:47:21,538 --> 00:47:24,039 - Can I get you a drink? - You are so very sweet. 868 00:47:24,041 --> 00:47:26,043 - Absolutely. - I... Just this once. 869 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:29,327 - Okay. What do you like? - Oh, anything that's wet. 870 00:47:29,329 --> 00:47:30,247 Oh... Oh! 871 00:47:30,630 --> 00:47:32,466 Hey, can you buy me a drink? 872 00:47:32,666 --> 00:47:33,717 I live in my van. 873 00:47:34,167 --> 00:47:35,218 What? No. 874 00:47:36,636 --> 00:47:38,388 I'll chow your box for a week. 875 00:47:38,638 --> 00:47:40,173 You like vodka? 876 00:47:40,557 --> 00:47:42,807 - Yeah. - Yeah. 877 00:47:42,809 --> 00:47:44,261 Two wet ones. 878 00:47:44,678 --> 00:47:46,179 Yeah, hi. This is Dr. Kelly. 879 00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:55,605 You look like you need a blow job. 880 00:47:58,241 --> 00:47:59,743 - Shot, silly. - Oh. 881 00:48:00,077 --> 00:48:01,025 What did you think I meant? 882 00:48:01,027 --> 00:48:02,913 Uh, you know, oral... 883 00:48:04,748 --> 00:48:07,584 Can you please just call me back? I miss you. 884 00:48:07,951 --> 00:48:08,952 All right, bye. 885 00:48:09,286 --> 00:48:12,339 Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. 886 00:48:13,757 --> 00:48:15,208 I would buy you a drink... 887 00:48:16,676 --> 00:48:19,677 but my friends and I are playing this ridiculous game 888 00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,963 where we're trying to get women to buy us drinks. 889 00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:24,134 That's refreshingly honest. 890 00:48:24,384 --> 00:48:27,802 - It's ridiculous. - I feel like buying you a drink. 891 00:48:27,804 --> 00:48:30,107 - Okay. - What'll it be? 892 00:48:31,191 --> 00:48:33,193 Uh-oh. You look lonely. 893 00:48:33,693 --> 00:48:36,696 The cure for that is, you buy me a drink, 894 00:48:37,197 --> 00:48:38,198 and I'll sit... 895 00:48:39,199 --> 00:48:40,650 I'll save this seat for you. 896 00:48:41,651 --> 00:48:43,653 You know what drinking makes me want to do? 897 00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:46,656 - What's that? - It makes me want to feel, and it makes me want to move. 898 00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,376 - You want to move with me? - Ooh, absolutely! 899 00:48:49,576 --> 00:48:51,661 Oh, I know you. Hi, Durf. 900 00:48:54,581 --> 00:48:56,967 Here we go. Here it is. 901 00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,833 There's a kink there that's very sensitive 902 00:48:58,835 --> 00:49:00,835 - on the right side, yeah. - Oh, I can feel that. 903 00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:02,337 Why don't you order us a couple drinks, 904 00:49:02,339 --> 00:49:04,339 and I'll get you all fixed up? 905 00:49:04,341 --> 00:49:06,341 Um, sure. 906 00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:08,843 Eddie, two vodka cranberry. 907 00:49:08,845 --> 00:49:10,847 Careful. I'm very sensitive. 908 00:49:11,348 --> 00:49:13,850 Nice and loosey-goosey. Nice and loosey-goosey. 909 00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:15,352 Aaah! 910 00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:17,354 - Oh, yeah, there you go. - Oh, God! 911 00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:21,322 - How's that? Nice? - I think you just made it worse. 912 00:49:21,324 --> 00:49:25,162 - Stand up. Let's check that weight distribution. - Okay, hang on. 913 00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:28,698 - I love your hair. Do you sleep in the woods? - Sometimes. 914 00:49:28,949 --> 00:49:31,533 I got a half a bottle of Fireball parked outside 915 00:49:31,535 --> 00:49:34,004 in my Kia Sorento, if you're interested in coming out back. 916 00:49:34,955 --> 00:49:36,454 Yes. Yes, I am. 917 00:49:36,456 --> 00:49:37,757 - Yes, I am. - Good. 918 00:49:38,008 --> 00:49:41,509 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Save it, kitty. Save it. 919 00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:44,848 Let's hit the dance floor, and you can ride me like a fucking animal. 920 00:49:45,131 --> 00:49:47,467 - I will. I will. - Okay, let's go. 921 00:49:57,861 --> 00:50:00,445 If you let your hips go, 922 00:50:00,447 --> 00:50:02,447 your neck will follow. 923 00:50:02,449 --> 00:50:04,451 Wait a minute. Are you trying to dance with me? 924 00:50:04,951 --> 00:50:06,951 Yeah. No, I'm... 925 00:50:08,321 --> 00:50:11,206 Oh, no. 926 00:50:11,208 --> 00:50:12,709 Oh, no! 927 00:50:13,210 --> 00:50:15,045 Where's the bathroom? 928 00:50:15,245 --> 00:50:16,830 That's it for Doc. 929 00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:22,802 - I don't want to buy you a drink. - What's the big deal? 930 00:50:23,003 --> 00:50:25,420 - Fuck off, please. - What did you say to me? 931 00:50:25,422 --> 00:50:28,925 - I said, "Walk off." - Hey! The lady said no, asshole. 932 00:50:29,175 --> 00:50:32,512 - Fuck off, shrimp dick. Come on. Please. - No! 933 00:50:34,347 --> 00:50:35,849 Hey, bud, how's it going? 934 00:50:36,349 --> 00:50:38,349 How does it look like it's going, bitch? 935 00:50:38,351 --> 00:50:39,851 Okay. 936 00:50:39,853 --> 00:50:42,239 Zane, I forgot what a good dancer you are, man. 937 00:50:42,489 --> 00:50:44,858 - Yeah? - What was that move you used to do back in the day? 938 00:50:45,191 --> 00:50:47,110 It was sick. You used to kill it. 939 00:50:47,410 --> 00:50:51,281 It's not a move, Bender. It's called art. 940 00:50:51,498 --> 00:50:53,333 - Hey, dude, break it out, man. - Yeah? 941 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:54,832 Yeah. 942 00:50:54,834 --> 00:50:57,704 - Here at the Spread Eagle? - Yeah. 943 00:50:58,038 --> 00:50:59,339 Okay. 944 00:51:02,042 --> 00:51:04,125 Oh! 945 00:51:04,127 --> 00:51:07,128 Oh, Bender, you made me... 946 00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:10,550 - Oh! - What happened? 947 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,886 I'm having a hard time understanding what's she's doing. 948 00:51:13,386 --> 00:51:15,388 - Why would she do that? - She just left. 949 00:51:15,889 --> 00:51:17,889 She just left, and... and I'm... 950 00:51:17,891 --> 00:51:20,894 I'm a little busted up about it. 951 00:51:21,394 --> 00:51:23,396 I mean, she's... I love her. 952 00:51:23,897 --> 00:51:25,897 She is beautiful. Tiff... 953 00:51:32,122 --> 00:51:34,124 You like that, huh? 954 00:51:34,624 --> 00:51:37,742 Who's the shrimp dick now, motherfucker? Who's the shrimp dick now? 955 00:51:37,744 --> 00:51:39,496 Let me go, shrimp dick! 956 00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:41,247 What's up, Durf? 957 00:51:41,631 --> 00:51:43,133 Having some troubles? Struggling a little bit? 958 00:51:43,416 --> 00:51:44,467 I'm good. 959 00:51:44,834 --> 00:51:45,802 You don't look good. 960 00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,137 Oh, fuck! 961 00:51:47,470 --> 00:51:48,555 Let it out! 962 00:51:51,725 --> 00:51:55,810 I'm gonna crush you, you little Oompa Loompa motherfucker! 963 00:51:55,812 --> 00:51:59,232 Shh, shh. Go to sleep. Shh, just let it happen. 964 00:51:59,566 --> 00:52:02,150 Shh. 965 00:52:02,152 --> 00:52:04,020 Shh. 966 00:52:04,821 --> 00:52:07,157 Yes! Yeah! 967 00:52:14,114 --> 00:52:16,116 Congratulations, Bender. 968 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,592 Hey, Shelly. 969 00:52:26,092 --> 00:52:28,593 You looked pretty good until the fight started. 970 00:52:28,595 --> 00:52:29,961 I don't want to talk about it. 971 00:52:29,963 --> 00:52:31,848 - That guy was really small. - Bender... 972 00:52:32,182 --> 00:52:34,768 I know they like to be called little people, but I'd classify that guy... 973 00:52:35,218 --> 00:52:37,637 - Shut your cock pocket. - What the fuck are we doing here? 974 00:52:37,887 --> 00:52:40,890 - Seriously, Bob. I have meat strapped to my face. - Hold your horses, boys. 975 00:52:41,224 --> 00:52:43,775 It'll be here momentarily. But first, 976 00:52:43,777 --> 00:52:46,778 I decided to throw a little curveball into this one. 977 00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:49,566 - Oh! - We're gonna hit this. 978 00:52:49,783 --> 00:52:52,152 - Oh, man. - Oh, fuck, yes. Let's get weird. 979 00:52:52,318 --> 00:52:53,901 - Please! - What does that mean? 980 00:52:53,903 --> 00:52:55,405 You're saying you've never smoked pot? 981 00:52:55,822 --> 00:52:57,405 You don't fucking know what I do 982 00:52:57,407 --> 00:52:58,742 when I go to the clubs, man. 983 00:52:58,958 --> 00:53:00,877 I get super paranoid when I smoke grass. 984 00:53:01,127 --> 00:53:02,712 Come on. You know the rules. Buddy Games, baby. 985 00:53:03,213 --> 00:53:05,465 - If you can't compete, you must concede. - It's medicinal. 986 00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:07,834 Bet I'm the only one that's smoked hash. 987 00:53:08,334 --> 00:53:10,170 Guys, they test sometimes on movie sets. 988 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:11,838 I don't know if I can have this in my system. 989 00:53:12,088 --> 00:53:13,673 That's the shit that killed Hendrix. 990 00:53:14,174 --> 00:53:16,676 Yeah, boy! Bye, bye, brain. 991 00:53:19,095 --> 00:53:20,595 Take it. 992 00:53:20,597 --> 00:53:21,898 - Got it? - Got it. 993 00:53:23,233 --> 00:53:24,651 Don't bogart that shit. 994 00:53:26,569 --> 00:53:27,937 Fuck you. 995 00:53:31,441 --> 00:53:33,193 Holy shit. 996 00:53:33,410 --> 00:53:35,862 You're blowing it out and sucking it in at the same time? 997 00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:40,867 - This is a bad idea. - All right, boys. 998 00:53:41,034 --> 00:53:42,619 The final event of the day. 999 00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:46,120 This is not a game of strength 1000 00:53:46,122 --> 00:53:48,458 or endurance, but rather a test of courage, 1001 00:53:48,675 --> 00:53:52,295 and it will determine tomorrow's three finalists in the endgame. 1002 00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:55,598 So ask yourselves, how bad do you want that money, boys? 1003 00:53:55,849 --> 00:53:57,932 - Bad. Real bad. - Real bad. 1004 00:53:57,934 --> 00:53:59,769 The game is simple. 1005 00:54:00,103 --> 00:54:02,687 The last one to keep his head above board wins. 1006 00:54:02,689 --> 00:54:04,190 Enter the dragon! 1007 00:54:04,641 --> 00:54:06,190 What? 1008 00:54:09,195 --> 00:54:11,529 - Bob, what the fuck is that thing? - What the fuck is that? 1009 00:54:11,531 --> 00:54:13,700 - What the fuck is that, man. - It's a dinosaur. 1010 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:23,126 Hey, Bob. Bob left. 1011 00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,712 Bob, what a fucking coward. 1012 00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:44,430 Yeah. Look at Shelly and his juicy, fat head. 1013 00:54:44,898 --> 00:54:46,850 Eat off the rest of his hair. 1014 00:54:49,936 --> 00:54:50,937 Doc! 1015 00:54:51,271 --> 00:54:52,822 - Oh, my God! - Doc! 1016 00:54:53,406 --> 00:54:56,276 - Tell me you're okay! - That was intense. 1017 00:54:56,526 --> 00:54:59,579 Doc, talk to me! Doc, just talk! 1018 00:55:00,029 --> 00:55:01,579 He senses fear! 1019 00:55:01,581 --> 00:55:04,000 Doc was weak, like you, Zane. 1020 00:55:04,334 --> 00:55:05,335 Yeah. 1021 00:55:10,206 --> 00:55:12,208 Yeah, I'm not afraid. 1022 00:55:12,625 --> 00:55:14,210 Oh, no. Oh, God. 1023 00:55:16,212 --> 00:55:18,131 No. No. 1024 00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:26,472 Ugh! I'm sorry, Mom! 1025 00:55:33,229 --> 00:55:36,149 That's it, motherfucker. That's it, motherfucker. 1026 00:55:36,399 --> 00:55:37,901 Huh? 1027 00:55:38,318 --> 00:55:40,484 Shelly, get out of there. You win, man. 1028 00:55:40,486 --> 00:55:44,155 - What are you doing? - You want a piece of me, huh? 1029 00:55:44,157 --> 00:55:47,627 You stupid fucking pea-brained lizard, you think I'm scared of you? 1030 00:55:47,994 --> 00:55:49,412 Shelly, man, you already won. Get out of there! 1031 00:55:49,746 --> 00:55:52,081 Where is it? Where is it? Come on! 1032 00:55:52,332 --> 00:55:53,883 Oh, my God! 1033 00:56:08,648 --> 00:56:09,599 Hey. 1034 00:56:12,685 --> 00:56:13,570 You all right? 1035 00:56:13,903 --> 00:56:15,989 Uh-huh. Good times, man. 1036 00:56:16,406 --> 00:56:17,989 You're sort of gazing right into that fire. 1037 00:56:17,991 --> 00:56:21,277 I'm just a little worried about you. 1038 00:56:24,030 --> 00:56:26,416 Hey, look, I know you're pissed at me right now... 1039 00:56:26,699 --> 00:56:29,786 Why would I be pissed at you? 'Cause you lied to me about everything? 1040 00:56:30,203 --> 00:56:33,089 I'm sorry that I lied to you. I am. But I did it for... 1041 00:56:33,256 --> 00:56:35,174 Don't apologize. You literally saved my life. 1042 00:56:35,425 --> 00:56:38,294 - Well, I wouldn't go that far. I mean... - No. 1043 00:56:38,461 --> 00:56:41,045 This little reunion could just as easily have been my funeral, 1044 00:56:41,047 --> 00:56:43,549 but now I got a reason to live again, man. 1045 00:56:45,051 --> 00:56:47,637 And that? I owe that all to you, little buddy. 1046 00:56:50,857 --> 00:56:53,309 Can I get you anything? Another near beer? 1047 00:56:53,643 --> 00:56:55,226 Nah, I'm good. 1048 00:56:55,228 --> 00:56:58,231 - Okay. - You know what, though? I'm gonna get you something. 1049 00:56:58,648 --> 00:57:01,034 - Okay. - Show you how I feel about everything. 1050 00:57:01,367 --> 00:57:03,319 - Ooh! - Oh, yeah. 1051 00:57:29,679 --> 00:57:33,016 - How many cards you want, Doc? - Hey, fellas. 1052 00:57:33,266 --> 00:57:34,849 Look, I'm a little embarrassed 1053 00:57:34,851 --> 00:57:37,353 by my behavior earlier... I got a little crazy there. 1054 00:57:37,770 --> 00:57:41,939 It's just been a long day of excruciating pain and humiliation. 1055 00:57:41,941 --> 00:57:44,494 I feel bad about the way I behaved. 1056 00:57:44,694 --> 00:57:47,278 I feel better now because being with you guys means the world to me. 1057 00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:51,032 As a token of my appreciation, I made you guys these frosty pina coladas. 1058 00:57:51,034 --> 00:57:53,334 One for everybody. Get in there! 1059 00:57:53,336 --> 00:57:56,255 - Can you get me one? - Guys... 1060 00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:58,758 Thanks, man. Look how frothy these are. 1061 00:57:59,042 --> 00:58:02,378 - Shelly did a fun thing. Look, Bob. - Thank you, bro. Wow. 1062 00:58:02,595 --> 00:58:04,597 Mmm. It's different, but it's good. 1063 00:58:04,931 --> 00:58:07,298 Creamy, ooh. I like it. 1064 00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:10,851 My mom always said, "If the drinks are free, drink till you can't walk or see." 1065 00:58:10,853 --> 00:58:13,856 Shelly, are you good? I thought you were on the wagon. 1066 00:58:14,223 --> 00:58:15,808 Never been better, buddy. Never been better. 1067 00:58:16,309 --> 00:58:18,811 This is exactly what I needed. 1068 00:58:19,228 --> 00:58:21,280 All right. Don't get too drunk and then whip your pants down 1069 00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,981 - and start playing with your empty bean bag chair. - All right. 1070 00:58:23,983 --> 00:58:27,120 - Hey, to Shelly. - To Shelly Belly. Love you, Shel. 1071 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:28,404 Glad to have you back, brother. 1072 00:58:28,905 --> 00:58:30,907 Cheers, cheers. 1073 00:58:31,407 --> 00:58:33,376 Yo, Doc, I think you need to have 1074 00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:36,577 a doctor look at that thing. It's starting to drip. 1075 00:58:36,579 --> 00:58:37,712 I am a doctor, Durf. 1076 00:58:37,714 --> 00:58:38,998 So good, man! 1077 00:58:39,382 --> 00:58:40,416 I didn't mean it like that. 1078 00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,833 So how's La La Land treating you, bro? 1079 00:58:42,835 --> 00:58:44,253 Yeah, Hollywood man. 1080 00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:46,639 Pretty darn good. I'm feeling blessed. 1081 00:58:47,140 --> 00:58:50,141 - I got a lot of things coming down the pipeline. - That's great, man. 1082 00:58:50,143 --> 00:58:53,146 - Couple things in postproduction. - What's postproduction? 1083 00:58:53,646 --> 00:58:55,982 That's a good question. Editing, 1084 00:58:56,182 --> 00:58:58,317 color timing, scoring... 1085 00:58:58,684 --> 00:58:59,769 Scoring, verb... 1086 00:59:00,269 --> 00:59:02,269 What Zane does every night with the ladies. 1087 00:59:05,775 --> 00:59:07,360 You know what you should do? 1088 00:59:07,860 --> 00:59:10,861 Seriously. Work with Mark Wahlberg. 1089 00:59:10,863 --> 00:59:12,198 Guy is money. 1090 00:59:12,582 --> 00:59:14,951 He kicks all kinds of ass. 1091 00:59:15,118 --> 00:59:17,503 He's got that itty-bitty waist, but he seems like an accessible guy. 1092 00:59:17,703 --> 00:59:19,088 Like, the kind of guy you can talk to. 1093 00:59:19,255 --> 00:59:20,840 That's a really helpful tip. Thank you. 1094 00:59:21,207 --> 00:59:22,790 Yeah, for sure. 1095 00:59:22,792 --> 00:59:24,594 But seriously, like, what do you got, Durfy? 1096 00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:27,380 Uh, I was told not to let anybody watch this, 1097 00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,882 but I did get an early cut of something 1098 00:59:30,299 --> 00:59:32,635 that I have on my phone if you guys want to take a little look. 1099 00:59:32,885 --> 00:59:34,969 All right. 1100 00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:37,972 You can't tell anyone you saw this, though, okay? 1101 00:59:37,974 --> 00:59:41,277 This is what we call an industrial in the biz. 1102 00:59:43,529 --> 00:59:45,029 Oh, she's pregnant. 1103 00:59:45,031 --> 00:59:47,898 Who's that handsome guy? 1104 00:59:47,900 --> 00:59:50,069 - Black-and-white. Nice touch. - Artsy. 1105 00:59:50,236 --> 00:59:51,819 She's cute. 1106 00:59:51,821 --> 00:59:54,290 It's likeRaging Bull. 1107 00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:56,626 It's got a great twist, too, you guys. 1108 01:00:05,084 --> 01:00:06,669 Oh, God, she's so good. 1109 01:00:07,170 --> 01:00:09,172 I really liked working with her. 1110 01:00:14,594 --> 01:00:16,177 Um... 1111 01:00:16,179 --> 01:00:18,179 - Oh, man. - Wow. 1112 01:00:18,181 --> 01:00:20,183 Man, she gets me when she gives that look. 1113 01:00:20,683 --> 01:00:22,683 - What do you think? - Yeah, it's... 1114 01:00:22,685 --> 01:00:24,103 Let me get this straight. 1115 01:00:24,487 --> 01:00:27,023 You stay at home, and your wife goes to war? 1116 01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,860 Yeah, well, um, you know, somebody has to watch the baby. 1117 01:00:31,110 --> 01:00:32,995 I didn't write it. I just act in it, so... 1118 01:00:33,496 --> 01:00:35,832 No, totally. America thanks you for your service, man. 1119 01:00:36,165 --> 01:00:39,416 - How do you make yourself cry? - On the day, I wasn't able to, 1120 01:00:39,418 --> 01:00:41,787 so they just put a drop in your eye. 1121 01:00:42,038 --> 01:00:44,090 - You didn't cry? - Well, not on that day. 1122 01:00:44,457 --> 01:00:46,042 - Wow! - I always though you actually cried. 1123 01:00:46,459 --> 01:00:49,543 - I think it looks real. - Come on. This... 1124 01:00:49,545 --> 01:00:52,546 We're his best friends. We owe him honesty here. 1125 01:00:52,548 --> 01:00:56,050 Durf, I love you. That's a terrible commercial. 1126 01:00:56,052 --> 01:00:59,388 That's 100% Rotten Tomatoes, man. 1127 01:00:59,639 --> 01:01:01,722 Yeah, I have other things maybe you'll dig. 1128 01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:03,643 Of course you will, and they'll be awesome. 1129 01:01:03,976 --> 01:01:06,062 No, we're all pro-troops, but that was anti-acting. 1130 01:01:06,562 --> 01:01:08,981 That's good, though, dude. Next time, Durf. 1131 01:01:09,365 --> 01:01:10,948 I'm kidding, Dude. 1132 01:01:10,950 --> 01:01:13,236 I'll get an eyedropper, dude. Don't well up. 1133 01:01:13,486 --> 01:01:16,070 I loved it. Hey, it's time to announce the finalists. 1134 01:01:16,072 --> 01:01:17,907 - Come on. Let's go. - This is go time. 1135 01:01:18,207 --> 01:01:19,625 - Come on, baby. - Come on. Let's go. 1136 01:01:20,993 --> 01:01:22,745 I liked your movie, Durf. 1137 01:01:22,962 --> 01:01:24,914 Thanks, man. 1138 01:01:26,299 --> 01:01:28,799 All right, boys, the moment we've all been waiting for. 1139 01:01:28,801 --> 01:01:31,302 As you can see, I stand among these tiki torches. 1140 01:01:31,304 --> 01:01:33,804 These three tiki torches represent the three guys 1141 01:01:33,806 --> 01:01:36,307 who will be competing in tomorrow's final event. 1142 01:01:36,309 --> 01:01:38,809 If I call your name, you're in. Ready? 1143 01:01:38,811 --> 01:01:40,646 And remember, we're playing for this. 1144 01:01:40,897 --> 01:01:42,765 - Yeah. - Hell, yeah. 1145 01:01:43,015 --> 01:01:46,402 - Say my name. - The first finalist in this year's Buddy Games is... 1146 01:01:46,602 --> 01:01:48,686 Bob Schmidt. 1147 01:01:48,688 --> 01:01:50,690 Is there a Bob Schm... Oh, that's me. 1148 01:01:51,190 --> 01:01:53,109 That's me. 1149 01:01:53,409 --> 01:01:55,912 All right, game one, game one. 1150 01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,114 Hey, check it. The score's right here. 1151 01:01:58,364 --> 01:02:01,250 And the next finalist is... 1152 01:02:01,450 --> 01:02:02,835 Dixon Bender. 1153 01:02:03,085 --> 01:02:05,169 - Yes! - What? 1154 01:02:05,171 --> 01:02:07,671 - I did better than Bender did. - I did not see that coming. 1155 01:02:07,673 --> 01:02:09,625 - Yep, I saw it coming. - I want a recount. 1156 01:02:10,042 --> 01:02:11,460 You'd be up here if you held your shit the longest. 1157 01:02:11,761 --> 01:02:13,629 That's right. And the third finalist 1158 01:02:13,846 --> 01:02:15,930 may not be the most athletic guy here. 1159 01:02:15,932 --> 01:02:18,267 - In fact, he's probably the least athletic guy here. - Doc. 1160 01:02:18,467 --> 01:02:21,470 - Oh, no. That's not good for me. - He demonstrated nerves of steel 1161 01:02:21,804 --> 01:02:24,807 in the face of dragons. It's Shelly Baldinger! 1162 01:02:25,107 --> 01:02:27,191 - Yeah! - You got to be kidding me! 1163 01:02:27,193 --> 01:02:29,693 - What? Are you joking? - Yep. 1164 01:02:29,695 --> 01:02:30,980 That's bullshit. 1165 01:02:31,197 --> 01:02:32,281 Don't look so down, Durf. 1166 01:02:32,782 --> 01:02:35,282 Maybe there's a tampon commercial in your future. 1167 01:02:35,284 --> 01:02:37,737 Yeah. Anything with a vagina, you know? 1168 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,487 Or a fake baby. You fuckers. 1169 01:02:40,489 --> 01:02:43,793 I don't know how I'm not a finalist. 1170 01:02:44,293 --> 01:02:47,077 - I want a recount. - Hey, who wants a pina colada? 1171 01:02:47,079 --> 01:02:50,047 - I want a pina colada! - Who wants a pina colada? 1172 01:02:50,049 --> 01:02:52,468 When I say "pina," you say "colada"! 1173 01:02:52,969 --> 01:02:55,254 - Pina! Pina! - Colada! Colada! 1174 01:03:50,726 --> 01:03:51,694 Hey. 1175 01:03:54,230 --> 01:03:56,232 Hey. Shelly. 1176 01:03:57,233 --> 01:03:59,318 Shelly. 1177 01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,154 Guys. Guys, come here. Shelly's out cold here. 1178 01:04:04,156 --> 01:04:06,492 Oh, you know what that means. Balls and gravy! 1179 01:04:06,992 --> 01:04:09,493 No, no, no, no. I'm serious. I can't tell if he's breathing. 1180 01:04:09,495 --> 01:04:11,995 - What? He's just passed out. - All right, get out of my way. 1181 01:04:11,997 --> 01:04:13,999 Let me handle this. Let me handle this. 1182 01:04:17,219 --> 01:04:18,721 - Oh, no. - What? 1183 01:04:19,055 --> 01:04:20,973 - This is bad, guys. - Give it to us straight, Doc. 1184 01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,426 It's an impingement between C3 and C4. 1185 01:04:23,926 --> 01:04:25,311 Are you kidding me? Is he breathing? 1186 01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:27,596 Yes, he's breathing. He's fine. 1187 01:04:27,897 --> 01:04:29,398 He's just a big, ugly baby. 1188 01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:31,567 He's fine. He's sleeping. 1189 01:04:32,601 --> 01:04:35,521 Where's... Where's Durfy? 1190 01:04:35,771 --> 01:04:37,654 - I don't know. - That's odd. 1191 01:04:37,656 --> 01:04:40,107 - Durfy! - Durf! 1192 01:04:40,109 --> 01:04:42,695 - Durfy! Durfy! - Durf! Durf! 1193 01:04:44,697 --> 01:04:46,697 This is bullshit. 1194 01:04:46,699 --> 01:04:49,168 I'm gonna pack my bags and get out of here. 1195 01:04:54,707 --> 01:04:56,709 What the hell is that? 1196 01:05:03,682 --> 01:05:05,134 What the fuck? 1197 01:05:05,468 --> 01:05:07,468 - He's not out there. - His car's still here. 1198 01:05:07,470 --> 01:05:09,937 - He's not in his room. - I called him. He didn't answer. 1199 01:05:09,939 --> 01:05:11,891 - Where would he be? - Oh, you guys. 1200 01:05:12,224 --> 01:05:13,309 - What? - The commercial. 1201 01:05:13,692 --> 01:05:15,275 His commercial about lady Marines. 1202 01:05:15,277 --> 01:05:17,446 Dude, our own military might attack us over that commercial. 1203 01:05:17,780 --> 01:05:20,282 - We shit all over it. - We were being honest. It sucked. 1204 01:05:20,566 --> 01:05:23,650 - We didn't have to be that honest. - You know how sensitive he is. 1205 01:05:23,652 --> 01:05:25,488 Fuck! He probably wandered off somewhere. 1206 01:05:25,788 --> 01:05:28,491 - We got to go looking for him. - Somebody's got to watch Shelly. 1207 01:05:28,707 --> 01:05:29,658 The doctor should. 1208 01:05:29,959 --> 01:05:30,910 I want Bender to stay. 1209 01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:32,161 - You hear that? - What'd you say? 1210 01:05:32,545 --> 01:05:34,046 He picked Bender. 1211 01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:36,499 - He said "Doctor." - He said "Bender." I heard him. 1212 01:05:36,916 --> 01:05:38,999 - Bender, you stay here. Stay with him. - Are you kidding me? 1213 01:05:39,001 --> 01:05:40,886 Grab the torches, boys. Let's go find him. 1214 01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:43,222 What if he wakes up? Do I have to talk to him? 1215 01:05:46,225 --> 01:05:47,176 Stay back! 1216 01:05:51,730 --> 01:05:53,232 Leave me alone! 1217 01:05:54,733 --> 01:05:56,235 Oh! Shelter. 1218 01:06:22,378 --> 01:06:23,879 Durfy? 1219 01:06:25,381 --> 01:06:27,883 - Durf! - Durf and Turf? 1220 01:06:29,051 --> 01:06:31,103 What is that? What is that? 1221 01:06:35,724 --> 01:06:37,309 How's it getting in the door? 1222 01:06:40,312 --> 01:06:42,481 What? 1223 01:06:50,573 --> 01:06:52,825 Where are you? 1224 01:06:56,295 --> 01:06:57,796 You hear that? 1225 01:06:58,297 --> 01:06:59,798 Oh, my God. 1226 01:07:00,249 --> 01:07:02,299 - That way. - Let's go get our boy. 1227 01:07:02,301 --> 01:07:03,669 We're coming, Durf! 1228 01:07:28,861 --> 01:07:30,446 What? 1229 01:07:31,697 --> 01:07:33,249 That's weird. 1230 01:07:45,844 --> 01:07:47,796 Don't make me do this. 1231 01:07:48,213 --> 01:07:49,598 Please! 1232 01:07:49,798 --> 01:07:52,384 Okay, I'm going to let you go. 1233 01:07:52,885 --> 01:07:54,768 Stop fighting, okay? 1234 01:07:54,770 --> 01:07:56,388 Stay down. 1235 01:07:58,691 --> 01:08:00,693 Whore! Okay! 1236 01:08:03,729 --> 01:08:06,148 - Die you little... - That's a tiny thing! 1237 01:08:06,615 --> 01:08:08,951 Durfy... Knock it off, man! 1238 01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:10,786 Stop, man, stop! 1239 01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:14,123 Did he kill it? 1240 01:08:15,457 --> 01:08:16,542 Oh, my God! 1241 01:08:17,042 --> 01:08:19,411 You guys, that thing was trying to kill me. 1242 01:08:19,712 --> 01:08:21,213 - Oh, my God. - That little thing right there? 1243 01:08:21,580 --> 01:08:23,632 Yeah, it looks cute, but it came in that shed 1244 01:08:23,999 --> 01:08:25,584 and got my ear and my face. 1245 01:08:26,085 --> 01:08:28,470 - Holy mother of God. - You look like shit, man. 1246 01:08:28,754 --> 01:08:30,339 Is that right? I look like shit? 1247 01:08:30,839 --> 01:08:32,508 My commercial sucks. Do you want to say anything else? 1248 01:08:33,008 --> 01:08:35,511 - I was just busting... - No, no, I heard you loud and clear. 1249 01:08:36,011 --> 01:08:37,813 I heard you loud and clear. The commercial sucked. 1250 01:08:38,013 --> 01:08:40,065 - We were just busting your chops. - You know what else? 1251 01:08:40,599 --> 01:08:42,518 I'm not fucking making it in Hollywood, okay? 1252 01:08:42,851 --> 01:08:45,437 Are you happy? I don't have an agent. 1253 01:08:45,938 --> 01:08:48,739 I self-submit to extras casting, okay? 1254 01:08:48,741 --> 01:08:50,691 I sell tape. 1255 01:08:50,693 --> 01:08:53,744 And right before I got here, I shit the bed 1256 01:08:53,746 --> 01:08:56,747 on probably the best opportunity I'm ever gonna have for a CW pilot. 1257 01:08:56,749 --> 01:08:59,700 And it's fucking gone, and that's it, okay? So I fucking suck! 1258 01:08:59,702 --> 01:09:02,452 - You don't suck. - You feel fucking funny now? 1259 01:09:02,454 --> 01:09:04,421 You want to make some fucking jokes about that? 1260 01:09:04,423 --> 01:09:07,343 Durfy, calm down. You're a little fired up right now. 1261 01:09:07,843 --> 01:09:10,346 No, no, no. Don't calm down. Let him get it out. 1262 01:09:10,846 --> 01:09:15,217 What is this, Durf, huh? What is this, your fucking goodbye speech? Huh? 1263 01:09:15,517 --> 01:09:17,936 We throw a little tough love your way, and you throw in the towel? 1264 01:09:18,187 --> 01:09:20,771 You want to be an actor or not? Start filming this. 1265 01:09:20,773 --> 01:09:24,274 You want to fucking be an actor on a CW pilot, Durfy? 1266 01:09:24,276 --> 01:09:27,112 - Use it! Use it! - Show me! Show me! 1267 01:09:27,396 --> 01:09:29,446 You guys, I just got attacked by a fucking mink. 1268 01:09:29,448 --> 01:09:31,867 I'm not auditioning in the woods, okay? 1269 01:09:34,703 --> 01:09:36,703 - I'm not gonna do this! - Do it right now! 1270 01:09:36,705 --> 01:09:39,658 You guys knew what I was the whole time, and you didn't tell me? 1271 01:09:42,127 --> 01:09:43,912 I thought I had cancer, damn it. 1272 01:09:44,129 --> 01:09:46,713 Okay, so I'm a mutant? 1273 01:09:46,715 --> 01:09:48,717 So I'm gonna dedicate the rest of my life... 1274 01:09:49,718 --> 01:09:52,219 to putting those who would do ill to others 1275 01:09:52,221 --> 01:09:54,721 straight in the fucking ground. 1276 01:09:54,723 --> 01:09:57,226 And I don't care if I have to die doing it. 1277 01:09:59,728 --> 01:10:02,514 John Durfy Jr, Mutant Institute. 1278 01:10:02,765 --> 01:10:04,767 Yeah! 1279 01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:06,933 You guys, that last part was improv. 1280 01:10:06,935 --> 01:10:09,236 Yeah, Durfy! Yeah! 1281 01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:12,191 That's not even in the script. It's not even in the script. 1282 01:10:27,873 --> 01:10:28,841 Hi, Dixon. 1283 01:10:31,844 --> 01:10:33,345 Hey, Shelly. 1284 01:10:34,847 --> 01:10:38,133 Have an extra bowl of Cuckoo Puffs this morning? 1285 01:10:38,350 --> 01:10:41,220 When are you gonna learn to shut the fuck up, Bender? 1286 01:10:41,437 --> 01:10:43,439 Why am I here? 1287 01:10:43,806 --> 01:10:45,891 That is a really good question. What are you doing here? 1288 01:10:46,391 --> 01:10:49,228 You're not supposed to be here. I was very clear about that. 1289 01:10:49,528 --> 01:10:51,611 I have every right to be here. I'm one of your oldest friends, 1290 01:10:51,613 --> 01:10:54,614 and I'm here to preserve the sanctity of our friendship 1291 01:10:54,616 --> 01:10:56,869 and to beat your ass in the Buddy Games. 1292 01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:59,488 I'm gonna wipe your ass out there today. 1293 01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:01,156 You're gonna wipe my ass? 1294 01:11:01,457 --> 01:11:02,875 Yeah, with your face. 1295 01:11:03,075 --> 01:11:05,158 You're gonna wipe my ass with my face. 1296 01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:06,626 Got it, bud. 1297 01:11:06,628 --> 01:11:09,631 And I'm sure that Bob will make that happen. 1298 01:11:10,082 --> 01:11:12,332 - What's that supposed to mean? - You don't think this is all rigged for you? 1299 01:11:12,334 --> 01:11:16,221 Like you didn't know that? Look, you made your point. Just let me out. 1300 01:11:19,925 --> 01:11:21,393 What the fuck are you doing? 1301 01:11:21,677 --> 01:11:22,728 You know what your problem is, Bender? 1302 01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:27,848 You don't know when to shut the fuck up! 1303 01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:30,569 No! You crazy fuck! 1304 01:11:30,936 --> 01:11:32,938 - No! All right, no! - Yeah! 1305 01:11:33,438 --> 01:11:35,324 I won't say anything else. I'll stop talking. 1306 01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:38,777 Oh, I really want to believe you when you say 1307 01:11:39,244 --> 01:11:43,163 that the sanctity of our lifelong friendship means something to you, 1308 01:11:43,165 --> 01:11:44,166 but... 1309 01:11:45,667 --> 01:11:46,668 I don't. 1310 01:11:49,705 --> 01:11:51,788 Is that supposed to scare me? 1311 01:11:51,790 --> 01:11:53,290 When's the last time you've driven a car? 1312 01:11:53,292 --> 01:11:55,093 Your mom dropped you off here. 1313 01:11:55,344 --> 01:11:56,378 Don't you talk about my mama. 1314 01:11:56,795 --> 01:11:58,714 Then get your fat ass out of my mom's van! 1315 01:11:59,014 --> 01:11:59,963 You say you're sorry. 1316 01:11:59,965 --> 01:12:01,133 Sorry for what? 1317 01:12:01,383 --> 01:12:02,267 For ruining my life. 1318 01:12:02,518 --> 01:12:03,936 I didn't ruin your life! 1319 01:12:04,219 --> 01:12:05,270 You fucking say it! 1320 01:12:05,687 --> 01:12:06,638 Fuck you! 1321 01:12:09,808 --> 01:12:12,060 No! No! Wait, wait, wait! 1322 01:12:12,394 --> 01:12:14,561 I didn't shoot you! I didn't shoot you! 1323 01:12:14,563 --> 01:12:15,531 I didn't do... 1324 01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:20,118 No! 1325 01:12:28,210 --> 01:12:29,578 What did you say? 1326 01:12:29,878 --> 01:12:31,246 I said you're a piece of shit! 1327 01:12:31,496 --> 01:12:33,582 No, that's not what you said. You said you didn't do it. 1328 01:12:33,966 --> 01:12:37,052 Of course I didn't do it, man. I'm not an animal. 1329 01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,556 I wouldn't shoot a man in the balls, let alone my friend. 1330 01:12:41,056 --> 01:12:43,475 I love balls. I have two of them. 1331 01:12:43,809 --> 01:12:48,180 Okay. You didn't do it? Who did? 1332 01:12:50,515 --> 01:12:51,483 Nikki. 1333 01:12:52,401 --> 01:12:53,685 Bullshit. 1334 01:12:58,690 --> 01:12:59,658 What the fuck are you talking about? 1335 01:13:00,576 --> 01:13:03,076 Why don't you teach him a lesson. 1336 01:13:03,078 --> 01:13:04,997 From us. Come on. It'll be fun. 1337 01:13:05,364 --> 01:13:08,417 - Rest it. Let it sit there. - Right on the nose. 1338 01:13:10,619 --> 01:13:12,004 What if I did it right there? 1339 01:13:12,204 --> 01:13:13,288 - Shoot him. - Ooh. 1340 01:13:13,789 --> 01:13:15,791 But I couldn't do it. 1341 01:13:16,792 --> 01:13:19,211 So she took the gun from me and pulled the trigger. 1342 01:13:27,886 --> 01:13:30,806 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did you do? 1343 01:13:31,139 --> 01:13:33,058 Then why wouldn't you say something, huh? 1344 01:13:33,308 --> 01:13:35,277 Why would you protect her? 1345 01:13:35,527 --> 01:13:38,730 - I was protecting you. - Protecting me? 1346 01:13:38,897 --> 01:13:41,984 - Your marriage. - If you wanted to protect me, you could've stopped her. 1347 01:13:42,401 --> 01:13:45,287 Do you think I knew that she was gonna shoot you in the scrotum? 1348 01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:48,657 All right, I could've taken the gun away, but I didn't. 1349 01:13:49,157 --> 01:13:50,993 Can somebody get me out of this fucking thing, man? 1350 01:13:51,293 --> 01:13:52,878 I got it. I got it. 1351 01:13:54,796 --> 01:13:58,665 Do you want to know why I didn't? 1352 01:13:58,667 --> 01:14:01,386 Maybe it's because you were being 1353 01:14:01,803 --> 01:14:04,673 - a drunk, obnoxious asshole. - This fucking guy. 1354 01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,392 Or maybe I did it because you put your balls on our foreheads 1355 01:14:07,809 --> 01:14:09,261 for years and just laughed it up. 1356 01:14:09,845 --> 01:14:12,347 Or maybe I liked 1357 01:14:12,898 --> 01:14:14,266 that you thought it was me all these years. 1358 01:14:14,650 --> 01:14:17,069 Because whether or not I pulled the trigger, 1359 01:14:17,319 --> 01:14:20,103 - you got what you deserved, bud. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. 1360 01:14:20,105 --> 01:14:23,273 He doesn't mean that. Bender, you don't mean that. Nobody deserves... 1361 01:14:23,275 --> 01:14:25,525 Guys, I got to come clean. In '95, 1362 01:14:25,527 --> 01:14:29,331 when I won the cup, I was juicing. 1363 01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:32,668 I got to get it off my chest. I don't want you to scratch my name off the cup though. 1364 01:14:33,085 --> 01:14:36,588 Nobody's gonna scratch anything off anything. Shell Bell, 1365 01:14:37,005 --> 01:14:40,342 I think it's pretty clear that Bender feels terribly. 1366 01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:42,627 I mean, he gifted you his own personal spank bank. 1367 01:14:43,128 --> 01:14:44,546 That's a gesture. 1368 01:14:44,846 --> 01:14:46,880 - Am I right? That was a real gesture. - Yeah. 1369 01:14:46,882 --> 01:14:48,717 - You're right. - Yeah, which I want back. 1370 01:14:48,934 --> 01:14:50,519 You're unfit to raise my children. 1371 01:14:50,886 --> 01:14:52,971 - That's not gonna happen? - What do you mean? 1372 01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:55,273 Can't do it. I already re-gifted it. 1373 01:14:55,607 --> 01:14:56,808 - To who? - What? 1374 01:14:57,142 --> 01:14:58,725 You like those pina coladas? 1375 01:14:58,727 --> 01:15:00,228 Mmm. Little bit of Bender in there? 1376 01:15:01,229 --> 01:15:02,729 Oh, no. 1377 01:15:02,731 --> 01:15:05,033 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 1378 01:15:05,233 --> 01:15:07,235 You're joking? That's a joke? 1379 01:15:07,569 --> 01:15:09,154 Oh, my... Oh, my God. 1380 01:15:09,538 --> 01:15:12,574 - No. - I knew I tasted jizz! 1381 01:15:12,991 --> 01:15:15,408 Bob, get him back in the loony bin right now. 1382 01:15:15,410 --> 01:15:17,662 Call his mom and have her pick him up. 1383 01:15:17,913 --> 01:15:20,165 - That is grounds for disqualification. - I'm calling the cops. 1384 01:15:20,332 --> 01:15:24,219 What are you going to tell the cops? "Hey, Officer, I drank my own jizz"? 1385 01:15:24,419 --> 01:15:25,504 Hold up. Hold up. 1386 01:15:27,255 --> 01:15:29,558 Why are we surprised by this? 1387 01:15:30,058 --> 01:15:32,561 This is the kind of stupid shit that happens every time we get together. 1388 01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:36,064 I mean, I never thought I was gonna forgive you guys for this. 1389 01:15:37,733 --> 01:15:39,768 - I was so pissed at you guys. - Still a great piece. 1390 01:15:40,152 --> 01:15:42,104 You remember that one? That was you guys. 1391 01:15:42,320 --> 01:15:45,071 Sons of bitches! And this? Fucking... 1392 01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,743 - Zac Efron. - That was your idea. 1393 01:15:47,993 --> 01:15:48,910 You did that on your own, bro. 1394 01:15:49,244 --> 01:15:50,112 Your choice. 1395 01:15:50,328 --> 01:15:51,279 You wanted that. 1396 01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:53,913 - You all gave me the... - No. No. 1397 01:15:53,915 --> 01:15:55,917 Look, the point is that every time we get together, 1398 01:15:56,418 --> 01:15:57,917 we do something that we regret in the moment, 1399 01:15:57,919 --> 01:16:00,420 but then we laugh about it later, right? 1400 01:16:00,422 --> 01:16:03,708 That's why we keep coming back. These are the games we play. 1401 01:16:03,959 --> 01:16:06,960 These are the memories that we live for. And, yeah, we drank a little jizz... 1402 01:16:06,962 --> 01:16:08,380 We drank a lot of jizz. 1403 01:16:08,797 --> 01:16:10,132 We drank a lot of jizz. 1404 01:16:10,432 --> 01:16:11,714 I had a second pina colada. 1405 01:16:11,716 --> 01:16:14,801 And Shelly totaled Bender's van, but you know what? 1406 01:16:14,803 --> 01:16:16,721 This too shall pass. We will live on, 1407 01:16:17,055 --> 01:16:19,107 and this brotherhood will never die. 1408 01:16:20,942 --> 01:16:24,110 And I fucking love it! I love all of it. 1409 01:16:24,112 --> 01:16:25,897 And I've missed every one of you assholes. 1410 01:16:26,314 --> 01:16:28,400 And I wouldn't trade this shit for anything, so... 1411 01:16:28,900 --> 01:16:30,735 I suggest that each one of you look in the mirror 1412 01:16:31,036 --> 01:16:32,904 and think about what this brotherhood means to you. 1413 01:16:33,121 --> 01:16:34,623 Especially you, Durfy. 1414 01:16:35,207 --> 01:16:37,159 Your ear, it's, like, hanging... 1415 01:16:37,659 --> 01:16:39,544 Is it injured? 'Cause it doesn't feel good. 1416 01:16:39,878 --> 01:16:42,547 - You might want peroxide... - You think that's gonna read on camera? 1417 01:16:42,881 --> 01:16:45,250 - Not if the camera's pointed at someone else. - Thanks for inviting me. 1418 01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:47,584 - You're a good person. - Yeah, yeah, you too. 1419 01:16:47,586 --> 01:16:50,555 Thanks for letting me play, and thanks for the pina coladas and my ear. 1420 01:16:50,755 --> 01:16:51,673 It's just been really great. 1421 01:16:51,973 --> 01:16:53,341 All right. 1422 01:16:53,508 --> 01:16:55,594 The rest of you get a little sleep, 1423 01:16:56,094 --> 01:16:57,512 because come sundown, it's game on. 1424 01:17:00,565 --> 01:17:03,149 - Not so much you two. - Nope, we are sleeping in. 1425 01:17:03,151 --> 01:17:05,652 Didn't make the cut. 1426 01:17:05,654 --> 01:17:07,654 Shelly, you went too far. 1427 01:17:07,656 --> 01:17:10,108 - Oh, I'm gonna throw up. - Yeah, Shelly. 1428 01:17:10,492 --> 01:17:12,077 Well played. 1429 01:17:34,266 --> 01:17:35,600 So here we are, boys. 1430 01:17:37,469 --> 01:17:38,937 The endgame. It's simple. 1431 01:17:39,304 --> 01:17:40,887 First one to lay their hands 1432 01:17:40,889 --> 01:17:43,389 on that buddy bucket at the end of this field 1433 01:17:43,391 --> 01:17:45,193 wins all the cash. 1434 01:17:45,393 --> 01:17:46,893 What's with the suit? 1435 01:17:46,895 --> 01:17:48,862 Oh, this old thing? 1436 01:17:48,864 --> 01:17:53,118 It's a one-inch-thick superpolyamide body armor suit. 1437 01:17:53,318 --> 01:17:54,901 Why? What the fuck are we doing now? 1438 01:17:54,903 --> 01:17:57,122 Well, this little baby can absorb a bullet 1439 01:17:57,539 --> 01:17:59,124 - from ten feet away. - What? 1440 01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:01,074 All we're gonna be using are simple bows and arrows. 1441 01:18:01,076 --> 01:18:02,544 Give it a try. 1442 01:18:04,379 --> 01:18:06,379 - You want me to shoot you with an arrow? - Yeah. 1443 01:18:06,381 --> 01:18:07,883 Okay. 1444 01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:09,885 There you go. 1445 01:18:12,837 --> 01:18:13,922 I like this already. 1446 01:18:18,677 --> 01:18:20,095 Oh, no! 1447 01:18:20,896 --> 01:18:22,647 Bob! What the fuck? 1448 01:18:22,847 --> 01:18:23,732 Holy shit! 1449 01:18:23,932 --> 01:18:24,849 Oh, my God. 1450 01:18:25,066 --> 01:18:26,935 Bob! Oh, my... 1451 01:18:27,185 --> 01:18:28,851 Oh! Help! 1452 01:18:33,775 --> 01:18:35,777 You should see the looks on your faces! 1453 01:18:36,194 --> 01:18:39,281 - I'm just kidding. - Oh, my... Dude, what the fuck, man? 1454 01:18:39,698 --> 01:18:41,783 That's the game. That's the game. 1455 01:18:42,167 --> 01:18:45,251 You got six arrows right over here. Use them wisely, 1456 01:18:45,253 --> 01:18:47,589 because if you get stuck with an arrow, you're out. 1457 01:18:48,089 --> 01:18:49,958 Ten minutes, shotgun start, so suit up, boys. 1458 01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:51,376 Whoo! 1459 01:18:52,377 --> 01:18:54,377 Ow. Bob, you're... 1460 01:18:54,379 --> 01:18:56,881 Bob's not well mentally, I don't... 1461 01:19:03,805 --> 01:19:05,388 I don't know who to root for. 1462 01:19:05,390 --> 01:19:07,225 - I hate them all. - Yeah, it's tough. 1463 01:19:07,442 --> 01:19:09,525 - I'm going Bender. - You're gonna go Bender? 1464 01:19:09,527 --> 01:19:12,314 - Bender. - He lost his mom. He lives in a van. 1465 01:19:12,480 --> 01:19:15,066 He's had hemorrhoids since we were, what, six? 1466 01:19:15,567 --> 01:19:18,486 How many fucking six-year-olds do you know that have hemorrhoids? 1467 01:19:20,622 --> 01:19:23,992 Hey, everybody. Welcome back. 1468 01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:28,546 You know what's fucking crazy? 1469 01:19:29,047 --> 01:19:30,546 Like, seriously? 1470 01:19:30,548 --> 01:19:32,968 How slimming black really is. 1471 01:19:33,301 --> 01:19:34,884 One little announcement. 1472 01:19:34,886 --> 01:19:37,172 That field is live. Real arrows will be flying. 1473 01:19:37,339 --> 01:19:39,341 So, please, if you could stay behind these flags 1474 01:19:39,674 --> 01:19:41,643 until you can see that champion bucket is raised. 1475 01:19:41,926 --> 01:19:44,344 - Smell weird to you? - Oh, fuck, man! 1476 01:19:44,346 --> 01:19:47,399 Oh, let me get a shot really quick. You got any schnapps? 1477 01:19:47,599 --> 01:19:50,683 Why do you have a nut cup? Aren't those supposed to protect testicles? 1478 01:19:50,685 --> 01:19:54,072 Aren't minivans meant for mothers? Oh, that's right. You don't have a minivan. 1479 01:19:54,356 --> 01:19:56,741 Yeah, thanks. I don't have a mother either. You're about to lose. 1480 01:19:57,242 --> 01:19:58,691 You're about to burp up your own cum bubbles. 1481 01:19:58,693 --> 01:20:00,161 You're gonna fucking lose, man. 1482 01:20:00,612 --> 01:20:02,580 This is your day... 1483 01:20:07,452 --> 01:20:09,037 Bye, suckers! 1484 01:20:21,633 --> 01:20:24,719 Let's go, babe! Come on. You got this. Let's go! 1485 01:20:41,986 --> 01:20:43,905 Okay, babe, you got this! 1486 01:20:44,372 --> 01:20:45,373 Let's go, baby! 1487 01:20:48,209 --> 01:20:50,995 Ah! 1488 01:20:53,248 --> 01:20:54,666 Oh, my God. 1489 01:20:54,966 --> 01:20:56,549 Suck on that, Richie Rich! 1490 01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:59,421 Bob! 1491 01:21:01,723 --> 01:21:02,757 Bob! Bob! No, wait... 1492 01:21:04,225 --> 01:21:05,927 Shit just got real. 1493 01:21:17,322 --> 01:21:19,739 Okay. Shelly's sucking wind right now. 1494 01:21:19,741 --> 01:21:21,743 He's not gonna be able to shoot for shit. 1495 01:21:22,243 --> 01:21:24,243 It's now or never. 1496 01:21:24,245 --> 01:21:25,613 Let's go, Bender. 1497 01:21:26,998 --> 01:21:29,501 We already know how this will end, Bender! 1498 01:21:30,001 --> 01:21:32,504 I own you! I always have! 1499 01:21:34,372 --> 01:21:36,873 You always said, "There's next year," Shelly. 1500 01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:40,259 Well, guess what? It is next year! 1501 01:21:40,261 --> 01:21:45,465 I guess it boils down to who's got the bigger balls. 1502 01:21:45,467 --> 01:21:47,852 Well, that'd definitely be you, pal. 1503 01:21:48,219 --> 01:21:50,605 No, no, no. Ladies first. 1504 01:21:52,941 --> 01:21:55,226 Aaah! Fuck you! 1505 01:22:03,568 --> 01:22:05,651 Ooh, look at that fat back. 1506 01:22:05,653 --> 01:22:08,039 Here we go, baby. 1507 01:22:10,658 --> 01:22:13,628 - Damn it! - Crap! 1508 01:22:13,995 --> 01:22:16,581 Yeah, let's dance, baby. 1509 01:22:18,917 --> 01:22:19,968 It's over. It's over. 1510 01:22:20,335 --> 01:22:22,837 Fuck you, Bender. Fuck you. 1511 01:22:25,306 --> 01:22:27,225 Sorry about all that stuff I said about you earlier, buddy. 1512 01:22:29,177 --> 01:22:30,011 No, you're not, Sheldon. 1513 01:22:33,181 --> 01:22:34,599 Just end it. 1514 01:22:36,568 --> 01:22:39,020 Don't shoot me in the balls either. That'd be super predictable and lame. 1515 01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:42,357 Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 1516 01:22:46,361 --> 01:22:49,030 - You fucking caught that? - You were gonna shoot me in the face? 1517 01:22:58,289 --> 01:23:00,708 Get off me! Get off me! 1518 01:23:00,959 --> 01:23:03,261 You son of a bitch! 1519 01:23:09,601 --> 01:23:12,937 Not this year! 1520 01:23:18,026 --> 01:23:20,895 No! No! 1521 01:23:21,229 --> 01:23:23,779 Never fuck with a man's minivan. 1522 01:23:33,575 --> 01:23:35,159 I got it. I got it. 1523 01:23:47,555 --> 01:23:50,141 Yeah! 1524 01:23:54,846 --> 01:23:57,899 Yeah! I fucking did it! 1525 01:23:58,266 --> 01:24:00,852 - You okay, buddy? - No shame. You did good. 1526 01:24:01,352 --> 01:24:02,854 - You did really good. - How many fingers is this? 1527 01:24:03,354 --> 01:24:05,690 Just not as good as that motherfucker right there! 1528 01:24:06,190 --> 01:24:07,940 You just kicked him in the head, Doc! 1529 01:24:07,942 --> 01:24:10,026 Bobby, are you okay? 1530 01:24:10,028 --> 01:24:12,747 - Oh, my goodness, look at that. - Bob! 1531 01:24:12,947 --> 01:24:14,363 Oh, my God! 1532 01:24:14,365 --> 01:24:16,251 - Oh, my God! - Oh, you came. 1533 01:24:16,751 --> 01:24:19,003 - We've got to get you to the hospital. - No, no, I'm fine. 1534 01:24:19,203 --> 01:24:21,787 I really am. I'm fine. Well, not great. 1535 01:24:21,789 --> 01:24:23,791 Oh, my God! 1536 01:24:24,292 --> 01:24:27,176 Oh, I know what you're gonna say, that this whole thing was a mistake. 1537 01:24:27,178 --> 01:24:28,680 No, I wasn't gonna say that at all. 1538 01:24:30,181 --> 01:24:31,549 Bobby, you needed this. 1539 01:24:31,849 --> 01:24:32,884 - Really? - Yeah. 1540 01:24:33,268 --> 01:24:34,850 Now that it's out of your system, 1541 01:24:34,852 --> 01:24:36,638 - we can just go back to our life, you know? - Yeah. 1542 01:24:36,888 --> 01:24:38,389 God, I love you. 1543 01:24:39,390 --> 01:24:41,776 - I love you so much. - I love you too. 1544 01:24:42,060 --> 01:24:45,113 I was doing a lot of thinking on my trip, and, um... 1545 01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,866 I think it's time, Bob. 1546 01:24:49,117 --> 01:24:50,201 Yeah. 1547 01:24:51,653 --> 01:24:54,122 - All right, come on. Let's do this. - I... I can't. 1548 01:24:54,405 --> 01:24:56,407 Oh, God, because your... your hand. 1549 01:24:56,741 --> 01:24:58,242 - Let me help you. - Whoa! 1550 01:24:58,543 --> 01:25:00,626 Whoa! Yeah! 1551 01:25:00,628 --> 01:25:03,548 It is huge! How much was it? 1552 01:25:03,915 --> 01:25:05,833 I don't know. 1553 01:25:06,050 --> 01:25:07,552 I don't know! 1554 01:25:10,421 --> 01:25:11,889 Okay, everybody's watching, Bob. 1555 01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:14,726 Look, baby, I know that you're scared. 1556 01:25:15,009 --> 01:25:17,428 That's okay, and I get it, but you don't need to be. 1557 01:25:17,679 --> 01:25:19,514 These last few weeks, yeah, they have been weird, 1558 01:25:19,731 --> 01:25:21,316 but we can just go back to the way things used to be. 1559 01:25:21,733 --> 01:25:22,817 Just you and me... 1560 01:25:23,685 --> 01:25:25,153 forever. 1561 01:25:27,071 --> 01:25:28,523 - I love you. - Oh, my God. I love you too. 1562 01:25:29,023 --> 01:25:31,326 - I love you so much. - I love you so much. 1563 01:25:34,078 --> 01:25:35,913 I'm not this guy. 1564 01:25:37,749 --> 01:25:39,751 I'm not the guy you deserve. 1565 01:25:40,251 --> 01:25:41,753 I'm this fucking guy. 1566 01:25:42,704 --> 01:25:44,172 What? 1567 01:25:44,455 --> 01:25:47,540 My mom wants me to be Bob, the soon-to-be father, but... 1568 01:25:47,542 --> 01:25:49,959 I'm just the Bobfather, you know? 1569 01:25:49,961 --> 01:25:52,930 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Look, I know this sounds crazy. 1570 01:25:53,348 --> 01:25:55,850 I've never felt more purpose than I have these last few weeks. 1571 01:25:57,301 --> 01:26:00,302 These guys need me, and I need them, 1572 01:26:00,304 --> 01:26:02,774 and this is gonna keep happening every year for the rest of my life. 1573 01:26:03,141 --> 01:26:06,027 And you're just gonna end up hating them and resenting me. 1574 01:26:06,227 --> 01:26:07,810 And who knows? Maybe you'll end up shooting me in the balls 1575 01:26:07,812 --> 01:26:09,364 and taking all my money like Shel... 1576 01:26:10,732 --> 01:26:12,450 - Oh! - Bobby! 1577 01:26:15,737 --> 01:26:17,405 You know, I really respect your choice... 1578 01:26:17,572 --> 01:26:19,038 and your honesty. 1579 01:26:19,040 --> 01:26:20,823 I just wish you would've told me five fucking years ago 1580 01:26:20,825 --> 01:26:22,375 that you would've chosen your friend's balls 1581 01:26:22,377 --> 01:26:23,828 and their farts over me. 1582 01:26:26,297 --> 01:26:28,249 - Where's the gravity? I... - Oh, my God. 1583 01:26:28,666 --> 01:26:31,419 Okay, okay, okay, that's enough. You got it out of your system. 1584 01:26:31,669 --> 01:26:33,221 Farewell, Bobfather. 1585 01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:37,341 Now, nobody does that to my buddy Bob. 1586 01:26:37,558 --> 01:26:39,143 - Ooh! - Doc! 1587 01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:40,928 You are done, Tiff! 1588 01:26:43,731 --> 01:26:45,815 Mama, start the car. Start the car, Mama! 1589 01:26:45,817 --> 01:26:46,734 Later, Tiff. 1590 01:27:00,498 --> 01:27:02,417 Well, things didn't go exactly as planned, 1591 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:05,837 but then again, the games never do. 1592 01:27:06,087 --> 01:27:09,171 Look, you don't stop playing because you get older, 1593 01:27:09,173 --> 01:27:11,676 you get older when you stop playing. 1594 01:27:12,093 --> 01:27:14,677 Now the boys are back, 1595 01:27:14,679 --> 01:27:16,679 and somehow everything seems right again. 1596 01:27:16,681 --> 01:27:20,384 In fact, things might even be a little better. 1597 01:27:43,908 --> 01:27:46,410 Shelly may not have reclaimed his throne, 1598 01:27:46,911 --> 01:27:48,913 but he's back. 1599 01:27:49,413 --> 01:27:51,132 Exactly where he belongs. 1600 01:27:53,167 --> 01:27:54,752 Still the king. 1601 01:27:58,756 --> 01:28:01,759 Turns out Durfy may not be such a shitty actor after all. 1602 01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,762 He just needed a little nudge. 1603 01:28:07,231 --> 01:28:11,269 "You have officially been offered the role of Frankie in..." 1604 01:28:13,354 --> 01:28:14,939 Oh, my God! 1605 01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:17,942 Yes! 1606 01:28:18,943 --> 01:28:21,362 And then there's Bender. 1607 01:28:21,662 --> 01:28:23,247 - Look at him. - Call Sheldon again. 1608 01:28:23,748 --> 01:28:26,167 - That's the face of a champion. - Calling Sheldon. 1609 01:28:32,423 --> 01:28:34,008 Nope. 1610 01:28:34,959 --> 01:28:37,044 - Call declined. - Come on, man! 1611 01:28:38,546 --> 01:28:41,048 - Call Sheldon again. Call him again! - Please watch your tone. 1612 01:28:41,549 --> 01:28:43,050 As for Doc, well, 1613 01:28:43,551 --> 01:28:45,436 he was finally able to provide some relief. 1614 01:28:47,939 --> 01:28:50,024 It's time I got something off my chest. 1615 01:28:50,441 --> 01:28:52,360 So here goes. 1616 01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:54,562 - I'm, uh... - I know. 1617 01:28:54,862 --> 01:28:56,731 - What do you mean, you know? - I know. 1618 01:28:56,981 --> 01:28:59,532 - How long have you known? - Remember back in '96, 1619 01:28:59,534 --> 01:29:02,787 when you bought that Cavalier King Charles spaniel, 1620 01:29:02,987 --> 01:29:05,571 and you named it after Brad Pitt's character in Legends of the Fall? 1621 01:29:05,573 --> 01:29:07,959 - Oh, Tristan. - Way before that. 1622 01:29:08,209 --> 01:29:09,243 All right, one more. 1623 01:29:09,627 --> 01:29:10,161 I'm gay! 1624 01:29:10,711 --> 01:29:11,710 All right, you're all done. 1625 01:29:11,712 --> 01:29:14,213 Oh, that felt amazing! 1626 01:29:14,215 --> 01:29:17,216 So if I'm not happy with the results, I get a full refund, right? 1627 01:29:17,218 --> 01:29:18,669 'Cause I burn through workout equipment 1628 01:29:19,136 --> 01:29:21,222 like Gene Simmons does through pussy. 1629 01:29:21,722 --> 01:29:23,057 From Kiss. 1630 01:29:23,341 --> 01:29:26,926 I mean, fitness is my middle name. 1631 01:29:26,928 --> 01:29:28,429 And I'm just afraid... You know, like, 1632 01:29:28,930 --> 01:29:31,597 I've broken things before, 'cause I'm so strong, and I'm... 1633 01:29:31,599 --> 01:29:34,817 - Shelly, just hear me out. - What are you doing here, dude? 1634 01:29:34,819 --> 01:29:37,154 I'm in trouble, and it's bad. 1635 01:29:37,438 --> 01:29:39,405 - I need a place to hide out. - No, man! 1636 01:29:39,407 --> 01:29:42,026 Oh, my God, I'm in deep shit, man! 1637 01:29:42,243 --> 01:29:45,077 Get the fuck out of my house, dude. What are you doing here? 1638 01:29:45,079 --> 01:29:49,000 - Bender! - No! No! Aaah! 1639 01:29:52,703 --> 01:29:54,288 You're mine, bitch. 1640 01:29:58,759 --> 01:30:01,794 You shot my best friend, you son of a bitch! You're fucking dead! 1641 01:30:01,796 --> 01:30:03,796 You hear me? You're fucking dead! 1642 01:30:03,798 --> 01:30:06,298 Yeah, that's right, you fucking pussy. 1643 01:30:06,300 --> 01:30:07,635 "Best friend"? 1644 01:30:08,936 --> 01:30:10,855 I'm truly touched by that, man. 1645 01:30:11,222 --> 01:30:14,609 What the... You're alive? 1646 01:30:14,809 --> 01:30:17,226 Ha, ha, ha! I'm alive! 1647 01:30:17,228 --> 01:30:21,030 - It was a joke. I was trying to get you out of the house. - What? 1648 01:30:21,032 --> 01:30:24,201 Yeah, you weren't returning my phone calls, dude. I just want to talk. 1649 01:30:24,402 --> 01:30:26,368 But, he... he shot you. 1650 01:30:26,370 --> 01:30:29,240 Yeah, that's my buddy Thurston. He works for the pawn shop. 1651 01:30:29,790 --> 01:30:32,291 I was buying my mom's shit back, and he got me this movie gun. 1652 01:30:32,293 --> 01:30:34,295 - What movie is it from? - Ride Along 2. 1653 01:30:34,795 --> 01:30:37,632 - Yeah, 50 bucks. Fucking bang, bang, dude. - Hundred bucks. 1654 01:30:37,882 --> 01:30:39,967 - You said 50. - I said a hundred. 1655 01:30:40,468 --> 01:30:43,254 Twenty-five a bullet and 50 for the gun, that's $100. 1656 01:30:43,504 --> 01:30:46,641 You're a fucking liar! 1657 01:30:46,841 --> 01:30:48,223 - I'm not paying for that. - Yes, you are. 1658 01:30:48,225 --> 01:30:50,809 - No, I'm not. No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 1659 01:30:50,811 --> 01:30:53,230 What the fuck is going on here? 1660 01:30:54,649 --> 01:30:56,148 Look, man, 1661 01:30:56,150 --> 01:30:57,652 all I cared about 1662 01:30:58,152 --> 01:31:00,571 was you and just making things right again. 1663 01:31:00,905 --> 01:31:03,489 You lost your fucking mind, Bender? Get me out of this goddamn chair. 1664 01:31:03,491 --> 01:31:06,859 Dude, with that money, I could've done anything. 1665 01:31:06,861 --> 01:31:08,861 Got an eight-ball the size of Nebraska, 1666 01:31:08,863 --> 01:31:12,867 fucked my way through whatever rogue country this asshole's from, 1667 01:31:13,367 --> 01:31:15,169 but that's not what was in my heart. 1668 01:31:15,336 --> 01:31:18,422 I felt so bad for you and all the shit you went through, 1669 01:31:18,923 --> 01:31:21,008 and I just wanted to get you back on your feet. 1670 01:31:21,542 --> 01:31:22,460 So... 1671 01:31:22,793 --> 01:31:26,180 here's my plan. Wait for it... 1672 01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:28,382 Boom! 1673 01:31:28,716 --> 01:31:30,801 A scrot-o! 1674 01:31:31,302 --> 01:31:33,521 Fuckin' scrotes! 1675 01:31:33,804 --> 01:31:35,354 I got balls for you! 1676 01:31:35,356 --> 01:31:37,191 Smell it! Smell! 1677 01:31:37,441 --> 01:31:40,444 I got you balls. Fuck you. I got you balls. 1678 01:31:40,811 --> 01:31:43,531 Fuckin' Sack Nicholson over here. 1679 01:31:44,031 --> 01:31:47,535 Piercings. One with a tattoo on it. Look at this guy. 1680 01:31:47,818 --> 01:31:49,320 So many fucking balls, dude. 1681 01:31:49,820 --> 01:31:52,237 And then lo and behold... 1682 01:31:52,239 --> 01:31:55,874 Sheldon, you're back! 1683 01:31:55,876 --> 01:31:58,713 Shel Bell! You look like Elton John. 1684 01:31:58,996 --> 01:32:01,882 You're fucking back! Fuck you! 1685 01:32:02,049 --> 01:32:05,134 Look at that shit. Juicy! 1686 01:32:05,136 --> 01:32:08,139 Long live the king! 1687 01:32:20,317 --> 01:32:21,817 Bob's web of lies 1688 01:32:21,819 --> 01:32:24,319 has finally come home to roost. 1689 01:32:24,321 --> 01:32:25,773 What will happen to poor Bob? 1690 01:32:29,326 --> 01:32:31,746 I'm free. And you're fucked. 1691 01:32:36,083 --> 01:32:37,666 It's not gross, all right? Our buddy just... 1692 01:32:37,668 --> 01:32:39,670 It's a very, very gross present. 1693 01:32:40,171 --> 01:32:42,171 - It's not gross. - Why would you get him that? 1694 01:32:42,173 --> 01:32:44,625 It's not gross. 1695 01:32:45,042 --> 01:32:47,126 I was just a little distracted, um, 1696 01:32:47,128 --> 01:32:50,596 planning my speech for the Oscars. 1697 01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:56,437 What the fuck is that thing? Fucking cat? 1698 01:33:00,191 --> 01:33:03,227 You need the Heimlich, dude? You need the Heimlich? 1699 01:33:10,451 --> 01:33:12,536 This is some jackassery, man. 1700 01:33:13,037 --> 01:33:14,538 Are you fucking kidding me? 1701 01:33:15,039 --> 01:33:17,792 A baby? A baby here? 1702 01:33:18,042 --> 01:33:20,461 - Yeah, just take a look at the tailbone there. - No tailbone. 1703 01:33:20,661 --> 01:33:23,245 - That's where I draw the line. - Come on. 1704 01:33:23,247 --> 01:33:26,750 All right, bend over. 1705 01:33:27,001 --> 01:33:29,084 - Sweet swimsuit. - Thank you. 1706 01:33:29,086 --> 01:33:30,971 Can you swim or dive? 1707 01:33:31,305 --> 01:33:32,387 Yeah, both. 1708 01:33:32,389 --> 01:33:33,808 Well, you can dive on my dick. 1709 01:33:34,141 --> 01:33:35,726 Okay. Okay. 1710 01:33:36,227 --> 01:33:37,561 - Two more. Two more. - Two more. Two more. 1711 01:33:44,852 --> 01:33:48,272 Filled with jizz! 1712 01:33:52,193 --> 01:33:55,529 Are you just gonna call it? Okay. Foreground, background... 1713 01:34:03,754 --> 01:34:05,537 My dad likes to buy his pie at the store. 1714 01:34:05,539 --> 01:34:07,673 Oh, yeah. Store pie's better. 1715 01:34:07,675 --> 01:34:09,009 Oh, God. 1716 01:34:09,510 --> 01:34:11,009 What's the matter with your woman? 1717 01:34:11,011 --> 01:34:12,513 Is she always like this? 1718 01:34:14,014 --> 01:34:16,014 I think she's been drinking this morning. 1719 01:34:16,016 --> 01:34:17,518 - Really? - Yeah. 1720 01:34:19,770 --> 01:34:21,856 Motherfucker! 1721 01:34:22,356 --> 01:34:23,691 Fuck! 1722 01:34:26,026 --> 01:34:28,195 - I'm so sorry. - On frame, right? 1723 01:34:28,395 --> 01:34:31,982 You became a friar. That's dope, right? That is so rad. 1724 01:34:32,483 --> 01:34:35,402 - Listen to Lance Bass over here. - Oh, shit! 1725 01:34:40,407 --> 01:34:41,909 Oh! 1726 01:34:47,131 --> 01:34:48,130 What? 1727 01:34:48,132 --> 01:34:50,632 Thanks, Prick Moranis. 1728 01:34:52,887 --> 01:34:55,472 Let's play some Buddy Games! 1729 01:34:55,973 --> 01:34:57,474 Let's play some "Bloody" Games! 1730 01:34:57,925 --> 01:34:59,393 No! 1731 01:35:06,901 --> 01:35:08,903 Get it. Get it. Get it. 1732 01:35:15,492 --> 01:35:17,993 The, uh, the parking brake wasn't set, 1733 01:35:17,995 --> 01:35:19,914 so it just started rolling back. 1734 01:36:22,977 --> 01:36:25,560 Let's play some Buddy Games! 1735 01:36:28,283 --> 01:36:33,283 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 131520

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