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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,045 [Seagulls Cry, Ocean Waves Crash] 2 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,516 Uno, dos, one, two, tres, cuatro. 3 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,361 ## ["Wooly Bully"] 4 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,863 # Hey, wooly bully # 5 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,943 # Watch it now, watch it # 6 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,863 # Here it comes Here it comes # 7 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,326 # Watch it now He gets you # 8 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,172 # Matty told Hatty # 9 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,762 # About a thing she saw # 10 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,886 # It had two big horns # 11 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,805 # And a wooly jaw # 12 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,981 # Wooly bully # 13 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,608 # Wooly bully # 14 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,520 # That's right # 15 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,731 # Wooly bully, wooly bully # 16 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,314 # Wooly bully # 17 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,615 # Hatty told Matty # 18 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:23,537 # Let's don't take no chance # 19 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,579 # Let's not be L seven # 20 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,413 # Come and learn to dance # 21 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,625 # Wooly bully # 22 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:35,216 # Wooly bully # 23 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:38,470 # Wooly bully, wooly bully # 24 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,837 # Wooly bully # 25 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,341 # Watch it now Watch it, watch it # 26 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,181 # Hey # 27 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,193 # Hey # 28 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,902 # That's right # 29 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,771 # Right, right, right # 30 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:04,532 [Ferry Whistle] 31 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,550 # Hey, wooly bully # 32 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:17,716 # Watch it now # 33 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,515 # Here it comes Here it comes # 34 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,007 [Indistinct Chatter] 35 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,812 # Matty told Hatty # 36 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,149 # About a thing she saw... ## 37 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,903 Freddie! 38 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,619 I dropped something. 39 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,195 Ralph, talk to him. 40 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,579 Listen to your father. 41 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,704 - From there we can see Cape Cod. - We were just there! 42 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,583 We could have stayed and saved $12.00. 43 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:58,252 Allen, don't you want to see Cape Cod? 44 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,761 You know where we are if you change your mind. 45 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,398 Allen! 46 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:23,030 [Alarm Bell, Whistle] 47 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,497 Oh, my God! 48 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,395 [Bell Ringing] 49 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,318 Thanks a lot. Thanks. 50 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,820 You okay, Allen? Lend me a towel. 51 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,363 Why did you do that? 52 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,548 Come on, son. 53 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,895 [Ferry Whistle] 54 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,397 [Woman Over P.A. System] Augie, pick up line four, please. 55 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,323 - Where are my cherries? - Mr. McCulloch, 56 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,252 they came in, but there was a fog... 57 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:57,123 If I don't get my cherries in 5 minutes, 58 00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,334 you don't get your money and you starve and you die. 59 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,968 Jerry? 60 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:07,257 - Where are McCulloch's cherries? - They're here, 61 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,507 but you gotta take a look. 62 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,385 Ah, Mr. McCulloch, be right back. 63 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,307 Where are my cherries? 64 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,819 Augie, did you grow these under your arms? 65 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,359 Jesus, snails with stems. Get them outta here! 66 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,903 - George, get them out of here. - You got it. 67 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:29,404 Bauer. Thank you. Honey, what's up? 68 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,079 We get a lot of rain and cherries get slime. 69 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,918 - I can't hear ya. - You agreed to take these off our hands. 70 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,917 - When the hell did I agree to that? - Not you, your brother. 71 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,667 Ah, all right. 72 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,668 Victoria, I can't hear you. 73 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,465 What I'm doing is important, too. 74 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,298 My brother bought your slimy cherries? 75 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,596 Yeah. We were playing poker. 76 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,677 He had two pair. I had a flush. 77 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,936 He had no cash, so we worked this out. 78 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,316 [Tires Screech] 79 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:02,901 ## [Car Radio] 80 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:07,070 Who put this goddam fruit here? 81 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,484 I'm all right, if anyone's concerned. 82 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,532 Good morning, Freddie. 83 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,785 Allen, Allen! 84 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,831 A simple "yes" or "no." 85 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,587 I made it. I'm in Penthouse magazine. 86 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,710 They printed my letter! 87 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,335 Listen, I'm very happy. 88 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,299 I'm in the Forum section. 89 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,758 The story's entitled, "A Lesbian No More." 90 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,171 They printed every word. It's a beautiful story. 91 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,637 I want copies for everybody. 92 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,719 Augie, good to see you! 93 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:36,721 Great game. We gotta do that more. 94 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,890 - Can we talk? - Great poker player. 95 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,102 - Cheats like a son of a bitch! - We have to talk. 96 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,894 - Missing petty cash? It was the cleaning girl. 97 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,148 You don't? I admit the whole thing. 98 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:50,318 I still don't care about it. 99 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,281 I love this guy! Do you hear me? 100 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,115 - Gimme a kiss. - Oh, Freddie. 101 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,283 Too big to kiss your older brother? 102 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,795 I love this guy's head. 103 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,338 Here's a buck. Wash my car. 104 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,458 Bauer! 105 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,629 Where are my... 106 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,465 Your cherries, yes. 107 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:14,890 Believe me, you won't be satisfied with what we have. 108 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,008 You're ruined! 109 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,179 Everyone's gonna know you left me dry. 110 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,430 You're finished, a ghost. 111 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,311 - How'd you like bananas at cost? - Deal! 112 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:26,153 Set up our friend with bananas at cost. 113 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:29,274 Allen, wait. I've got to get out early. 114 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,153 Gee, right. Today's the big day. 115 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,569 Ushers have to be early, too. 116 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,620 - I'll be there. - Okay. 117 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:42,336 [Woman On P.A.] Will someone get those Jonathans off the truck? 118 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:46,498 Any messages, Mrs. Stimler? 119 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,999 Yes. 120 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,714 What are they? 121 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:57,722 Huh? Oh, 122 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:01,145 your father wants you to call him back. 123 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:05,443 Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away 5 years ago. 124 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,808 Remember? 125 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:12,029 Right. Should I get him for you? 126 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,949 No, no. We'll... I'll take care of it. 127 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,659 You just get back to work. 128 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:28,964 - What's with her? - A little accident over the weekend. 129 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,838 Got hit in the head by some lightning. 130 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:35,758 It's not funny, Freddie! 131 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,720 I'm sorry. That's not funny. 132 00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:42,014 Besides, she can still do certain things. 133 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,643 Like jump-start a car? 134 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,608 [Laughing] Jump-start a car! 135 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,983 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 136 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:53,607 - What the hell are you doing down here? - Maybe I went... 137 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,904 - to the "Club A" last night. - Something new for you. 138 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,830 Maybe I met Mr. Buyrite, owner of Buyrite Markets. 139 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,453 Maybe we had a few drinks. 140 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:05,793 And maybe, just maybe... 141 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,919 we're his new produce suppliers. 142 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,549 I'm proud of you. 143 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,756 That's great! Which store? 144 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:15,462 Not which store, the whole chain. 145 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:18,889 I hope you are joking with me. 146 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,304 Think big, be big. 147 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,517 He was a colonel. I made up a story... 148 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,178 about you being wounded in Nam and he wants to do business. 149 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,183 He's coming this morning. 150 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,727 Great, Freddie. It's only chaos down here. 151 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:33,822 - Augie brings me slimy cherries. - So what? 152 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,442 - Jerry's getting married tomorrow. - So what? 153 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,694 I was drinking with this bum all night. 154 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:42,955 - I'm busting my buns. - East 77th Street. 155 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:46,660 - Come on, you can handle this deal. - Yeah, I'll handle it. 156 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,454 - Your desk looks like a pigsty. - I have a system. 157 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,791 - [Buzzer] - Phone for you. 158 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:56,752 Yes? All right. Thank you. 159 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,005 Hi, Victoria. I'm sorry. 160 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,008 I forgot to call you back. 161 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,770 What's the matter? Your voice sounds funny. 162 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,345 What? Now? 163 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,643 You're moving out of the apartment now? 164 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,652 While we're talking? 165 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:16,154 Yeah, I know we were going to talk about it. 166 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:19,942 Victoria, this is a little impulsive. 167 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:23,038 If we were married you wouldn't move out like this. 168 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,531 - She might. Sure. - Get off! 169 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,784 - Was that you? - Get off the phone! 170 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,123 I'm so sorry! 171 00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,375 Not you. 172 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,085 Why not tell a guy you're on the phone? 173 00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,002 [Door Closes] 174 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,964 What do you mean, "Do I love you?" 175 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,261 Well, I... 176 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:45,299 Well, we met and... 177 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,934 You moved in, didn't you? 178 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,818 Well, it's... 179 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,774 it's just a very complicated thing. 180 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,616 Hey, do you love me? 181 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,452 Well, there you go. 182 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,492 There she went. 183 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,581 [Woman's Voice] What a huge wedding. 184 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,831 [Church Bells] 185 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,549 Cindy, hi. 186 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,552 - How are you? - How are you? 187 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,094 Excuse me. 188 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,394 You look so pretty! 189 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:36,152 Darn! My flash never works! 190 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,859 Figures. My mother-in-law gave it to me. 191 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,778 [Allen] Get up! 192 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,945 What? What? 193 00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:47,452 It was embarrassing when you were 10. 194 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,293 If something works for me, I stick with it! 195 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,002 I've been thinking. 196 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,625 I intend to get more involved with business. 197 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:58,000 I mean that this time. I know the business. 198 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,964 I was there at the beginning with Dad. 199 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:05,384 Do we sell fruit and vegetables or just fruit? 200 00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:09,176 By the time I came home, she was already gone. 201 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,596 - Victoria left, huh? - Yeah. 202 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,359 You know why she left me? 203 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,728 - Because I didn't love her. - That bitch. 204 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,026 Hi. Anywhere but the 1st three rows. 205 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,318 - Anywhere but the 1st three rows. - Hey! 206 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,199 Hi, Freddie. Allen, where's Victoria? 207 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,624 She's sick, and she can't make it. 208 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,706 I'm sorry. 209 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,419 Hey! 210 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,673 Can you answer me why I didn't love her, Freddie? 211 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,587 She had everything. 212 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,596 She was bright, sensitive, beautiful. 213 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,425 Hey, Allen! 214 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,141 - Hi. - Where's Victoria? 215 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:52,011 She can't make it because of the flu. 216 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,643 - Give her my love. - You bet! Sure. 217 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,308 I can't even give her my love! 218 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,855 Something in here is not working. 219 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,522 There are worse organs not to be working. Ha! 220 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,868 Hi, guys. Bauer, where's your pretty lady? 221 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,864 She's not coming! Okay? 222 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,329 Do you want your money back? 223 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:17,787 Well, I don't know. Maybe it's for the best. 224 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,048 - Hey, Allen. - She left me! My life's a shambles. 225 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,174 That's the news. Want the weather? 226 00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,753 Anywhere but the 1st three rows! 227 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:31,264 Lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother. 228 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,886 Drinking is a matter of algebraic ratios. 229 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,890 How drunk you get... 230 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:39,731 depends on how much alcohol you consume... 231 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,940 in relation to your total body weight. 232 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,107 It's not that you had too much to drink, 233 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,738 it's that you're too skinny! 234 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,986 - Marceau, more drinks here. - No. 235 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,912 - Freddie, I don't want to get drunk. - But you are. 236 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,752 A sober person would have reached for the pretzels. 237 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,292 - Is he going to be there long? - I don't know. 238 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,999 - Oh, I'm on the bar. - You're on the bar. 239 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,086 Come on, off the bar. 240 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,014 This stool is in your way. Let me move it. 241 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,387 Oh, oh, you fell. 242 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,978 That hurt. You're not having a good day. 243 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,981 - Wasn't that a beautiful wedding? - That was. 244 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:21,518 It was. It really was. 245 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,396 - The most gorgeous ceremony... - A lovely... 246 00:14:25,491 --> 00:14:27,033 [Growls] 247 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,157 - How ya doing? - Fine. 248 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,570 The fabulous Freddie Bauer here. 249 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,664 - Where did you get those? - My grandmother. 250 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,455 - She left them to me. - She did? 251 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,869 - They're beautiful. - Thank you. 252 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,089 Hi. 253 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,917 - Hi. - Hi. 254 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,381 You guys are in love, aren't you? 255 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,509 We just met. 256 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,931 That doesn't matter. I know about these things. 257 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:54,140 I can see. I can tell. 258 00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,386 You two guys, you're in love. 259 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,149 I think that's beautiful. 260 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,439 Thanks. 261 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,777 I don't live too far. 262 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:10,281 Let's go to my place for a quiet drink. 263 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:14,153 Do I expect too much out of life? 264 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:17,249 My dress! I can't believe this. 265 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:20,288 - I'm sorry. - Hey, what are you doing? 266 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:23,499 Both of you. You're both crazy! 267 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,666 I'm sorry. Look... 268 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,586 I don't ask that much, do I? 269 00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,754 I don't ask to be famous, rich, 270 00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:33,714 or play centre field for the Yankees. 271 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:36,561 I just want to meet a woman... 272 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,183 and fall in love, and get married. 273 00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,349 And I want to have a kid, 274 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,692 and I want to see him play a tooth in the school play. 275 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,605 It's not much. 276 00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:49,402 But I'm kidding myself. 277 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,863 It's never going to happen. 278 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,360 I'm going to grow old... 279 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,705 and grow lonely, and I'm gonna die; 280 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:01,456 and I'll be surrounded by a bunch of rotten fruit. 281 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,206 - No kidding! - Freddie? 282 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,842 Freddie? 283 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,966 Allen! 284 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,675 I want you to meet some friends of mine. 285 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,556 This is Tawny, and this is Jill. 286 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,800 - I'm Tawny. - You're Tawny Tiger! 287 00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:19,182 And this is Jill, a four letter word. 288 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,429 - My brother, Allen. - Hi. 289 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,061 - Freddie, can I talk to you? - Absolutely. 290 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,025 Excuse me. 291 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,400 I'll be right back. We'll whisper some more. 292 00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:31,062 I've got some whispering for you! 293 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,316 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 294 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,328 Pack your bags. We're going to Rio! 295 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,702 They have a timesharing condominium. 296 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,708 We're gonna share some time with them. 297 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,833 No, I'm going to Cape Cod. 298 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,209 What are you talking about? 299 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,958 Why would you go to Cape Cod? 300 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,588 Because I like Cape Cod. 301 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,587 I feel better up there. 302 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,431 I look at the water and feel closer to something. 303 00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,766 - Cape Cod over Rio? Are you all right? - Yeah. 304 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:02,221 - Let me drive you up there. - No, no. 305 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,223 - You got enough money? - I've got plenty. 306 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,854 - Yeah? - Thanks. 307 00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:08,770 Can I have some then? 308 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,571 [Tapping] 309 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:21,583 - Where to? - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. 310 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:23,955 [Tires Screech] 311 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,333 You break that, you pay for it. 312 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,292 Well, I'm sorry. I usually enjoy... 313 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,671 smashing the glass with my face. 314 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,628 That's about 300 miles. You got the cash? 315 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,427 What is this? 316 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,395 [Crickets Chirp, Frogs Croak] 317 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,986 [Walter] Careful of that. 318 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,493 Be careful with that! 319 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,956 What do you think you're loading? 320 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:09,413 This is delicate scientific equipment. 321 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,841 Hold it. Put it down. 322 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,499 You see that? It says, "This end up." 323 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,002 Know what that means? This end up! 324 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:20,596 Why don't you try holding that end up? 325 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,302 All right, get away! 326 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,103 I'll do it myself. Get away. 327 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,146 Give me a hand. 328 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,237 Easy. 329 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,901 - Move that... - Excuse me. 330 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:41,197 - Morning. - Morning. 331 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,948 Ah, 332 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,875 I was dropped off on the wrong side of the beach. 333 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,581 Could you take me over to the island? 334 00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:52,337 Well, ah, we're not... 335 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,215 We're not going... 336 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,551 We're taking the boat. We're not going out there! 337 00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:01,089 - Have you seen anyone else along this beach? 338 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,804 Just me and the moron twins. 339 00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,515 We're not twins. 340 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:12,234 - What is all this stuff? - I knew it! 341 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:15,439 Who sent you up here? Dr. Ross from Chicago? 342 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,856 Who's Dr. Ross from Chicago? 343 00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:20,951 Who's Dr. Ross? You're very good. 344 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,408 I suppose you're some harmless beachcomber... 345 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:26,284 who happens to wear a tuxedo! 346 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:29,245 How dare you try and horn in on someone else's research! 347 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,711 I'm just a guy... 348 00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:33,666 Walter Kornbluth is not to be taken advantage of. 349 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:37,707 Just stay out of my way, sonny. 350 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,638 All right, let's move out! 351 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:51,478 A guy down the beach runs people out to the island. 352 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,725 What's the name? 353 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,942 The guy or the island? 354 00:19:57,865 --> 00:19:59,323 I'll find him. 355 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,157 [Boat Motor] 356 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,452 What's the matter? You look nervous. 357 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:08,291 Yeah. The truth is, Fat Jack, 358 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,996 I don't know how to swim. 359 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:13,209 - You can't swim? - No, sir. 360 00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:16,333 Then you wouldn't want me to do this. 361 00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:19,176 Stop! Ah, don't! 362 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,589 Please, cut it out! 363 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,636 There's water coming in the boat! 364 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,048 I'm just having a little fun. 365 00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:26,636 Well, don't. 366 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:28,766 [Motor Sputters] 367 00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,641 What is that? What's the matter? 368 00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:35,101 When I rocked the boat, I must have got water in the engine. 369 00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:38,148 I can fix it. I'm mechanical. 370 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,401 [Hammering] 371 00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:46,405 Did you fix it? 372 00:20:46,497 --> 00:20:49,663 No. I'll go back for the other boat. 373 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,410 What? 374 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,578 Where are you going, Mr. Fat Jack? 375 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,508 Back to the dock. It's only a few miles. 376 00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:03,009 I can swim it. I'll be back with the little boat. 377 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,263 The little boat? 378 00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,320 I knew it. 379 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:22,322 I knew that guy was spying on me. 380 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,780 I want to go down! 381 00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:29,619 Mr. Cornbeef? 382 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,995 Kornbluth! 383 00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:34,409 Whatcha looking for down there? 384 00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,709 Buried treasure? 385 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,920 Want to know what I'm looking for? 386 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,667 I'll tell ya. 387 00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:44,844 None of your goddam business, that's what! 388 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:47,219 Get out of my way! 389 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:55,434 Let's pee down his air hose. 390 00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:57,849 [Laughter] You get that. 391 00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:17,869 Piece of shit. 392 00:22:21,884 --> 00:22:22,963 [Scream] 393 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,711 [Boat Motor] 394 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,137 [Gasping] 395 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,216 [Boat Motor] 396 00:22:31,602 --> 00:22:32,716 Ahh! 397 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,861 [Gasping] 398 00:22:44,615 --> 00:22:45,895 Ah, gee. 399 00:22:47,493 --> 00:22:48,738 [Bang] 400 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,265 Ohhh! 401 00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:24,275 Ohh. 402 00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,987 [Spitting] 403 00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:33,450 Ouch! 404 00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:35,033 Ouch. 405 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:38,498 [Moans] 406 00:23:57,146 --> 00:23:58,308 Hello. 407 00:23:58,397 --> 00:24:02,264 You have any idea how I got here? 408 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,150 Did you save me? 409 00:24:09,408 --> 00:24:11,400 Ah, 410 00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:13,865 do you speak English? 411 00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:54,575 Hey! Come back! 412 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,449 Hey, come back! Please? 413 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,496 Just tell me who you are. 414 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:00,958 I've gotta talk to you. 415 00:25:01,043 --> 00:25:03,166 Can I call you? What's your number? 416 00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:05,791 I don't know how to swim. 417 00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:09,214 I don't know how to swim! Come back. 418 00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:11,922 Why didn't I learn how to swim? 419 00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:13,803 Please, just... 420 00:26:14,575 --> 00:26:16,235 [Gasp] 421 00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:18,996 It's a mermaid. It's her! 422 00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:21,404 [Shouts] Wait a minute. 423 00:26:21,498 --> 00:26:22,577 Wait a minute! 424 00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:24,540 Don't go. 425 00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:27,661 Come back. 426 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,996 I gotta take your picture. 427 00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:32,670 Hold it. 428 00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:05,349 [Honking] 429 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:08,009 [Indistinct Chatter] 430 00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,944 Hi, Mrs. Stimler. 431 00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:21,235 Hi, what happened to your head? 432 00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:24,612 - Lightning? - No, a boat hit me. 433 00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:28,868 - Mrs. Stimler? - Yes? 434 00:28:28,959 --> 00:28:32,660 - Nothing. - So nice to have you back. 435 00:28:35,007 --> 00:28:37,249 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 436 00:28:37,342 --> 00:28:39,715 The statue is a gift from French citizens... 437 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:43,587 and symbolizes hope for oppressed people. 438 00:28:43,682 --> 00:28:47,383 Over the past century, she has seen the skyline, 439 00:28:47,478 --> 00:28:51,938 which once she dwarfed, rise in mountains of stone and steel. 440 00:28:52,024 --> 00:28:55,974 If you'll go inside, the tour will continue. 441 00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:58,358 Come on. Here we go. 442 00:28:58,447 --> 00:29:00,985 Let's go. We're backing up. 443 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,565 You've got feet, use them! 444 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:07,243 Don't touch my hat. Do not ever touch my hat. 445 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:08,611 That's it. 446 00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:11,625 Up-up-up-up-up-up. Okay. 447 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:13,833 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 448 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,922 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 449 00:29:17,007 --> 00:29:20,423 It has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. 450 00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:22,420 Bocci balls! 451 00:29:22,513 --> 00:29:23,426 [Yell] 452 00:29:23,514 --> 00:29:24,759 Hey, hey. 453 00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:27,137 Come on. Don't be doing that. 454 00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:28,601 Take a picture... 455 00:29:28,685 --> 00:29:30,429 of me, Vinnie. 456 00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:32,762 Vinnie, take my picture. 457 00:29:32,856 --> 00:29:34,267 You get it? 458 00:29:34,358 --> 00:29:36,434 You get it! 459 00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:39,018 The statue... was a gift straight... 460 00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:40,772 from French people. 461 00:29:40,864 --> 00:29:42,987 Get out of the way. What's going on? 462 00:29:43,075 --> 00:29:44,652 Okay, miss. 463 00:29:44,743 --> 00:29:48,657 This ain't California. We don't go for this. 464 00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:51,950 [Booing] 465 00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:00,716 [Boat Whistle] 466 00:30:06,306 --> 00:30:09,343 - What's your name? - She don't speak no English. 467 00:30:09,434 --> 00:30:12,601 - And you do? - Here. She was carrying this. 468 00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:14,561 What's this? 469 00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:19,022 Who's this guy? 470 00:30:20,988 --> 00:30:23,479 Is that enough? Do you want some more? 471 00:30:23,574 --> 00:30:26,409 That's all we can handle. Let's talk terms. 472 00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:28,818 - He doesn't have a clue. - Don't worry. 473 00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,739 We'll move it out in the morning. 474 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:33,322 Bauer. Your brother told me about... 475 00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:36,868 your unfortunate experience in Vietnam. 476 00:30:36,962 --> 00:30:38,670 Huh? 477 00:30:38,755 --> 00:30:41,840 The incident in Vietnam. Remember? 478 00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:47,263 The grenade still bother you? You're wearing a bandage. 479 00:30:47,347 --> 00:30:49,589 Page him. Hey, Al? 480 00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:51,474 - Yeah? - Phone. 481 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,636 Um, excuse me. 482 00:30:55,481 --> 00:30:57,806 Thanks, Jerry. Yeah? 483 00:30:57,900 --> 00:31:00,473 Allen Bauer. Speaking. 484 00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:08,526 Yeah. On my way! 485 00:31:08,619 --> 00:31:10,327 I believe this... 486 00:31:11,830 --> 00:31:14,452 Allen, where are you going? 487 00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:16,000 Allen! 488 00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:20,838 - What happened? - Telephone. 489 00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:24,042 He was on the phone in Nam when the grenade went off. 490 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:27,088 Ever since then, he runs, 491 00:31:27,179 --> 00:31:29,385 gets in a car, and drives away. 492 00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:32,046 - Oh. - I don't know why. 493 00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:34,633 - It just happens. - Oh. 494 00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,187 Let's review this. 495 00:31:36,271 --> 00:31:39,106 [Siren] 496 00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:59,619 Pardon me. Excuse me! 497 00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:02,381 [Bell Rings] Mr. Police Officer? 498 00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:04,920 Hey! Take it easy. 499 00:32:05,008 --> 00:32:06,918 What do you want? 500 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:09,418 My name's Allen Bauer. You guys called me. 501 00:32:09,513 --> 00:32:12,763 Any of you guys call for an Allen Bauer? 502 00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:16,799 Bauer. Yeah. That's for her. 503 00:32:16,895 --> 00:32:18,687 Right over there. 504 00:32:41,336 --> 00:32:42,451 Hi. 505 00:32:49,970 --> 00:32:52,543 I take it you know this girl? 506 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,672 Yeah, I do. 507 00:32:55,767 --> 00:32:57,677 Who is she? 508 00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:01,640 I don't know. 509 00:33:01,732 --> 00:33:03,060 Of course. 510 00:33:16,538 --> 00:33:19,290 Afternoon. You're home early. 511 00:33:19,374 --> 00:33:21,450 Yeah. 512 00:33:28,258 --> 00:33:29,836 Uh, 513 00:33:29,927 --> 00:33:31,966 that doorway spins. 514 00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:34,627 Want to get this fixed, Timmy? 515 00:33:40,646 --> 00:33:43,018 - Hi. - Hello. 516 00:34:29,111 --> 00:34:31,780 ## [Allen Sings] 517 00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:34,651 # Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-a # 518 00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:38,027 # Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder # 519 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,947 # It's the truth It's actual # 520 00:34:40,038 --> 00:34:41,663 # Everything is satisfactual # 521 00:34:41,748 --> 00:34:44,749 # Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-a # 522 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:46,874 # My, oh, my What a wonderful day # 523 00:34:46,962 --> 00:34:49,833 Room service. I didn't know what you liked, 524 00:34:49,923 --> 00:34:53,707 so I got you a choice. Fruity Pebbles, pancakes... 525 00:34:53,802 --> 00:34:55,925 No. No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no. 526 00:34:56,013 --> 00:34:58,005 I've got to get back to work. 527 00:34:58,098 --> 00:35:00,007 That will keep you company. 528 00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:03,932 When I come back from work, we'll get some dinner, 529 00:35:04,021 --> 00:35:06,393 and pick you up some clothes. 530 00:35:06,482 --> 00:35:09,482 Not that you don't look spectacular in my robe. 531 00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:12,189 Okay? Bye-bye. 532 00:35:14,865 --> 00:35:17,273 No. Please. 533 00:35:17,367 --> 00:35:19,574 You're gonna put me in the hospital. 534 00:35:19,661 --> 00:35:22,865 It's about 3 p.m. I really have to get back. 535 00:35:23,582 --> 00:35:25,658 You are wonderful. 536 00:35:25,751 --> 00:35:26,782 Bye-bye. 537 00:35:26,877 --> 00:35:28,288 Bye. 538 00:35:29,129 --> 00:35:32,545 [TV] 539 00:35:32,633 --> 00:35:36,132 Things don't get started again until 4 p.m. 540 00:35:42,476 --> 00:35:45,097 Let's not be so choosy with these onions. 541 00:35:45,187 --> 00:35:48,104 Some of these are perfectly good onions. 542 00:35:48,190 --> 00:35:51,475 [Allen] Everybody, zip-a-dee-doo-dah! 543 00:35:51,568 --> 00:35:54,569 # Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-a # 544 00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:57,940 # My, oh, my What a wonderful day # 545 00:35:58,033 --> 00:36:00,987 # Plenty of sunshine heading my way # 546 00:36:01,078 --> 00:36:04,198 # Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-a # 547 00:36:04,289 --> 00:36:07,160 # Mr. Mango on my shoulder # 548 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:09,243 Freddie, dance with me! 549 00:36:09,336 --> 00:36:11,625 Please, not in front of the teamsters. 550 00:36:11,713 --> 00:36:14,501 - Come on, they're happy guys. - You're a rotten lead. 551 00:36:14,591 --> 00:36:17,261 I've got the Buyrite contracts ready. 552 00:36:17,344 --> 00:36:19,218 - Want to check them? - No. 553 00:36:19,304 --> 00:36:21,096 You check them. You know the business. 554 00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:22,841 - So I'm in charge? - Sure. 555 00:36:22,933 --> 00:36:24,807 What about the lawyer's meeting at 8:00? 556 00:36:24,893 --> 00:36:28,262 8 p.m.? That's too late for me. 557 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:31,771 I'm going upstairs and take a nap. 558 00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:34,528 Wake me when it's time to go home. 559 00:36:34,611 --> 00:36:38,526 # Zip-a-dee... ## Jerry, handle those for me! 560 00:36:40,284 --> 00:36:42,360 [TV Announcer] Anne Klein. 561 00:36:42,452 --> 00:36:44,362 Bloomingdale's. 562 00:36:46,415 --> 00:36:47,992 Anne Klein. 563 00:36:50,752 --> 00:36:53,125 Bloomingdale's. 564 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,338 The Anne Klein Collection, available at... 565 00:36:59,428 --> 00:37:01,136 Bloomingdale's. 566 00:37:13,484 --> 00:37:15,523 Can I help you? 567 00:37:16,653 --> 00:37:19,227 Can't you talk? 568 00:37:20,782 --> 00:37:23,024 - Bloomingdale's? - Sure. 569 00:37:23,118 --> 00:37:24,067 Hey! 570 00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:23,507 Oh, my God. 571 00:38:23,595 --> 00:38:26,466 Darling. Darling. 572 00:38:26,557 --> 00:38:30,506 Darling! That outfit, it's to die from. 573 00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:33,389 What happened? You saw Annie Hall 100 times? 574 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,102 That look is over. 575 00:38:36,191 --> 00:38:38,148 You want to try that on? 576 00:38:38,235 --> 00:38:40,643 Who knows? Maybe it's you. 577 00:38:40,737 --> 00:38:42,860 I couldn't get one leg in there. 578 00:38:42,948 --> 00:38:47,325 My daughter is lucky. She's anorexic. 579 00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:55,124 Please call again. Don't forget these. 580 00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:59,078 Do yourself a favor and stop in the lingerie department. 581 00:38:59,173 --> 00:39:02,838 A pretty girl like you shouldn't wear boxer shorts. 582 00:39:09,850 --> 00:39:11,842 [Boy] Let me try! 583 00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:14,687 [TV Announcer] Colgate Winter Fresh Gel... 584 00:39:14,771 --> 00:39:19,101 And now, we continue with Capitol. 585 00:39:19,193 --> 00:39:23,237 Wear the adjustable-angle mascara by Revlon. 586 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,035 Maximum protection in a great-tasting gel. 587 00:39:29,119 --> 00:39:31,824 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest clearance sale ever! 588 00:39:31,914 --> 00:39:33,953 Crazy Eddie's slashing prices... 589 00:39:34,041 --> 00:39:36,366 on stereo equipment, video equipment, 590 00:39:36,460 --> 00:39:38,785 color TV's, car stereos, CB's, phones, 591 00:39:38,879 --> 00:39:41,002 disco equipment and professional products, 592 00:39:41,089 --> 00:39:44,541 plus a selection of floor samples and demonstrators... 593 00:39:44,635 --> 00:39:46,343 priced at or below cost. 594 00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:48,088 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest sale ever, 595 00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:51,347 going on right now with prices that are insane! 596 00:39:51,433 --> 00:39:53,924 Crazy Eddie, 12 great locations. Manhattan, 597 00:39:54,019 --> 00:39:55,893 the Bronx, Brooklyn, Syosset, Paramus, 598 00:39:55,979 --> 00:39:58,731 East Brunswick, Union, Westchester, Westbury and Norwalk. 599 00:39:58,816 --> 00:40:02,398 ## [Humming] 600 00:40:02,486 --> 00:40:06,566 # Zip-a-dee-doo-dah # Hello? 601 00:40:07,866 --> 00:40:10,701 I'm home! 602 00:40:21,004 --> 00:40:22,380 [Ding] 603 00:40:27,761 --> 00:40:29,884 - I'm looking for a girl, Timmy. - $200. 604 00:40:29,972 --> 00:40:32,510 No, the blonde I came in with. 605 00:40:32,599 --> 00:40:35,386 - Oh, she left. - Any idea where? 606 00:40:35,477 --> 00:40:38,348 - I put her in a cab. - To where, Timmy? 607 00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:41,274 - Bloomingdale's. - Bloomingdale's. Great. Thanks. 608 00:40:41,358 --> 00:40:43,267 Yo! Hey, taxi! 609 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,902 Hey! 610 00:40:44,987 --> 00:40:46,611 Halt, taxi, please! 611 00:40:46,822 --> 00:40:49,111 # She works hard for the money # 612 00:40:49,199 --> 00:40:52,615 Come on, come on. Let's go! 613 00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:56,487 # She works hard for the money so you better treat her right # 614 00:40:56,582 --> 00:40:59,951 Excuse me, miss, we're getting ready to close. 615 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:02,879 She's been here for 6 hours. 616 00:41:04,548 --> 00:41:06,873 Excuse me, miss. 617 00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,458 I'm going to insist that... 618 00:41:09,553 --> 00:41:13,136 that you stop doing that. 619 00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:18,930 She's exercising. 620 00:41:20,731 --> 00:41:23,601 Give her... a minute. 621 00:41:23,692 --> 00:41:25,685 Sir, we're closing. 622 00:41:25,777 --> 00:41:28,315 I know. Just give me 3 minutes. 623 00:41:28,405 --> 00:41:30,730 - Come back. - 3 minutes. You can time me! 624 00:41:33,202 --> 00:41:35,906 Oh, thank God. 625 00:41:35,996 --> 00:41:38,119 Excuse me. Do you know this woman? 626 00:41:38,207 --> 00:41:40,994 Yeah. Just don't ask me her name. 627 00:41:41,084 --> 00:41:43,373 We've been trying to tell her it's closing time, 628 00:41:43,462 --> 00:41:45,787 but she doesn't seem to understand. 629 00:41:45,881 --> 00:41:48,668 That's because she doesn't speak English. 630 00:41:48,759 --> 00:41:50,336 Hello, Allen. 631 00:41:50,427 --> 00:41:52,550 How was your day? 632 00:41:53,847 --> 00:41:55,840 I never went to college, 633 00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:58,340 but wasn't that English? 634 00:41:58,435 --> 00:42:00,642 Thank you for letting me use your TV. 635 00:42:00,729 --> 00:42:03,350 It was very educational. 636 00:42:04,733 --> 00:42:06,773 It's all right, miss. 637 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,487 What's your name? 638 00:42:11,573 --> 00:42:14,360 It's hard to say in English. 639 00:42:14,451 --> 00:42:17,488 Well, just say it in your language. 640 00:42:17,579 --> 00:42:20,035 All right. My name is... 641 00:42:20,123 --> 00:42:21,783 [Screech] 642 00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:37,799 Hey, how 'bout those Knicks? 643 00:42:37,891 --> 00:42:42,637 I'm confused why you haven't said anything until now. 644 00:42:42,729 --> 00:42:45,980 - I didn't know English. - I see. Now you do? 645 00:42:46,066 --> 00:42:48,901 I learned from TV. It's wonderful! 646 00:42:48,986 --> 00:42:51,192 I'll ask questions and if you answer correctly, 647 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,272 you can win one of these prizes. 648 00:42:53,365 --> 00:42:55,903 A wall clock, matching washer and dryer, 649 00:42:55,993 --> 00:42:58,069 or a brand new car! 650 00:42:58,162 --> 00:43:00,154 Let me go first, okay? 651 00:43:00,247 --> 00:43:02,405 Who are you? Where are you from? 652 00:43:02,499 --> 00:43:04,871 Begin when you were born... 653 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,127 and finish when you blew up the TV's. 654 00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:16,712 Pretty. 655 00:43:16,805 --> 00:43:20,803 Well, yeah. I've never thought about it before, 656 00:43:20,893 --> 00:43:23,894 but, yeah. Are you from Cape Cod? 657 00:43:26,523 --> 00:43:29,228 No, I'm from another place. 658 00:43:29,318 --> 00:43:32,852 Yeah? I've got a cousin from there. 659 00:43:32,946 --> 00:43:33,978 Ha-ha-ha. 660 00:43:36,617 --> 00:43:38,490 Are you an American? 661 00:43:38,577 --> 00:43:40,570 No. 662 00:43:40,662 --> 00:43:44,411 Then why were you in Cape Cod and now New York? 663 00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:46,907 How did the cops find you naked? 664 00:43:47,002 --> 00:43:48,282 What's that? 665 00:43:48,378 --> 00:43:50,537 What? The music? 666 00:43:50,631 --> 00:43:53,750 I like music! I heard some in the TV, 667 00:43:53,842 --> 00:43:55,467 Dance Fever. 668 00:43:55,552 --> 00:43:59,217 # Hey, I love you, girl # 669 00:43:59,306 --> 00:44:02,757 - # Darling # - Ah, hi, hi. 670 00:44:02,851 --> 00:44:05,389 We better go, hon, or else we'll be late. 671 00:44:05,479 --> 00:44:08,599 - You never heard music? - What's that? 672 00:44:08,690 --> 00:44:09,355 Ah... 673 00:44:09,441 --> 00:44:11,683 [Car Horn] 674 00:44:11,777 --> 00:44:13,354 - [Crash] - Oh, gosh! 675 00:44:13,445 --> 00:44:15,354 - What's that? - It's a movie theatre. 676 00:44:15,447 --> 00:44:17,736 What the hell you doin'? You coulda got me killed! 677 00:44:17,825 --> 00:44:20,113 Cut her some slack. She's from out of town. 678 00:44:20,202 --> 00:44:21,577 Keep her on a leash. 679 00:44:21,662 --> 00:44:23,571 Yeah, yeah. Have a nice day. 680 00:44:23,664 --> 00:44:25,039 Hello? 681 00:44:28,001 --> 00:44:30,623 Did you see this? 682 00:44:30,712 --> 00:44:34,580 It's wonderfully delicious and so good for you. 683 00:44:34,675 --> 00:44:38,174 While you're here, watch a little less TV. 684 00:44:40,055 --> 00:44:43,756 How long are you going to be in town? 685 00:44:44,852 --> 00:44:47,473 6 fun-filled days. 686 00:44:47,563 --> 00:44:49,769 Oh, 6 days. 687 00:44:49,857 --> 00:44:51,565 Is that all? 688 00:44:53,152 --> 00:44:55,393 6 days, 689 00:44:55,487 --> 00:44:58,025 and the moon is full. 690 00:44:58,115 --> 00:45:00,522 Oh. 691 00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:04,491 The moon is full. 692 00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:11,251 If I stay longer than that, 693 00:45:11,336 --> 00:45:13,827 I can't ever go back. 694 00:45:13,922 --> 00:45:15,666 Oh, I get... What? 695 00:45:15,757 --> 00:45:19,043 Is there some sort of immigration problem? 696 00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:21,010 Where did you get that? 697 00:45:21,096 --> 00:45:23,634 Where? Oh, for... 698 00:45:25,976 --> 00:45:27,601 Sir? 699 00:45:27,686 --> 00:45:29,513 Here you are, sir. There you go. 700 00:45:29,605 --> 00:45:33,139 I'm going to have to call you something in English, 701 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:36,151 because I can't pronounce... What? 702 00:45:36,236 --> 00:45:38,229 What are English names? 703 00:45:38,322 --> 00:45:40,610 There's millions of them, I guess. 704 00:45:40,699 --> 00:45:42,692 Jennifer, Joanie, Hillary. 705 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:45,073 Careful. Those are hot. 706 00:45:45,162 --> 00:45:47,569 Names, names. Linda, Kim... 707 00:45:47,664 --> 00:45:49,704 [Allen] Where are we? Madison. 708 00:45:49,791 --> 00:45:50,954 Elizabeth, Samantha... 709 00:45:51,043 --> 00:45:54,957 - I like Madison. - Madison's not a name. 710 00:45:56,465 --> 00:45:59,549 Well, all right. Madison it is. 711 00:45:59,635 --> 00:46:02,386 Good thing we weren't at 149th Street. 712 00:46:02,471 --> 00:46:05,223 Are we going back to where you live? 713 00:46:05,307 --> 00:46:08,225 Okay, um... Here's the thing. 714 00:46:08,310 --> 00:46:11,015 I was going to find you a hotel, 715 00:46:11,104 --> 00:46:15,351 but I figure that after this afternoon... 716 00:46:15,442 --> 00:46:18,776 Well, I just assumed that... 717 00:46:20,989 --> 00:46:24,654 Would you mind staying with me? 718 00:46:26,286 --> 00:46:28,445 I want to stay with you. 719 00:46:28,539 --> 00:46:31,077 You're the reason I came here. 720 00:46:41,301 --> 00:46:43,211 Ah, that was a kiss. 721 00:46:43,303 --> 00:46:45,213 I know. 722 00:48:57,187 --> 00:48:59,429 Madison? 723 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:08,567 Madison? 724 00:49:08,657 --> 00:49:10,235 Allen? 725 00:49:10,325 --> 00:49:12,781 Yeah, of course, it's Allen. 726 00:49:12,870 --> 00:49:15,028 What are you doing, sweetheart? 727 00:49:15,122 --> 00:49:17,447 Taking a bath. 728 00:49:17,541 --> 00:49:20,708 Ooo, ooo. Can I come in? 729 00:49:21,170 --> 00:49:22,712 No! 730 00:49:22,796 --> 00:49:24,456 [Clunk] 731 00:49:24,548 --> 00:49:27,039 What was that? 732 00:49:27,134 --> 00:49:28,628 Madison, are you all right? 733 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,673 - Everything's fine. - Then let me in. 734 00:49:31,763 --> 00:49:34,515 I'll be right there. I'm just changing. 735 00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:37,517 Enough! Open the door. Something is wrong. 736 00:49:37,603 --> 00:49:40,307 Allen, can you make me some pancakes? 737 00:49:40,397 --> 00:49:42,057 Make you some... Madison! 738 00:49:42,149 --> 00:49:44,438 All right, Madison, this is getting scary. 739 00:49:44,526 --> 00:49:46,815 Either open this door, or I'll break it down! 740 00:49:46,904 --> 00:49:49,739 - No, Allen, please. - All right, that's it! 741 00:49:49,823 --> 00:49:51,104 Allen, no! 742 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,026 Ow. 743 00:50:04,379 --> 00:50:06,039 Hi. 744 00:50:06,131 --> 00:50:09,334 Hi. Are you okay? 745 00:50:09,426 --> 00:50:11,751 Yeah. 746 00:50:11,845 --> 00:50:14,087 Why wouldn't you let me in? 747 00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:18,012 I was... shy. 748 00:50:20,062 --> 00:50:21,971 You were shy? 749 00:50:22,064 --> 00:50:25,397 After the car, elevator, bedroom, 750 00:50:25,484 --> 00:50:28,687 and top of the refrigerator, you were shy? 751 00:50:30,030 --> 00:50:32,603 I was shy. 752 00:50:32,699 --> 00:50:34,491 She was shy. 753 00:50:43,460 --> 00:50:46,295 [Garbled Shouts] 754 00:50:59,226 --> 00:51:01,978 [Gasping] 755 00:51:05,357 --> 00:51:07,148 Hey, B.B. Brain! 756 00:51:07,234 --> 00:51:08,894 Yeah? 757 00:51:08,986 --> 00:51:11,025 See this hose? 758 00:51:11,113 --> 00:51:13,782 It's so I can breathe. 759 00:51:13,866 --> 00:51:14,980 Uh-huh. 760 00:51:15,075 --> 00:51:17,827 You want to get your chair off it? 761 00:51:17,911 --> 00:51:19,987 Huh? 762 00:51:26,879 --> 00:51:28,670 [Laughing] 763 00:51:28,755 --> 00:51:30,878 The Star Confidential? 764 00:51:31,633 --> 00:51:33,293 Yeah. 765 00:51:33,385 --> 00:51:36,552 - Why are you reading that? - I don't know. 766 00:51:36,638 --> 00:51:41,134 What possesses the uneducated to purchase these? 767 00:51:41,226 --> 00:51:42,507 Interesting. 768 00:51:42,603 --> 00:51:45,058 You're not helping yourself. 769 00:51:45,147 --> 00:51:46,641 You're not... 770 00:51:46,732 --> 00:51:48,274 This is not news. 771 00:51:48,358 --> 00:51:51,276 Give me this. You know what's in here? 772 00:51:51,838 --> 00:51:55,254 Nothing. You have sex, perversion. 773 00:51:55,342 --> 00:51:58,094 It's all fabrication. Look at this. 774 00:51:58,178 --> 00:52:01,214 A naked woman at the Statue of Liberty. 775 00:52:03,308 --> 00:52:05,764 Where would they find a girl to do that? 776 00:52:05,852 --> 00:52:07,644 [Laughing] 777 00:52:10,148 --> 00:52:12,818 - Ow, my head! - Let me see that. 778 00:52:20,992 --> 00:52:23,662 Take me back to shore. Now! 779 00:52:28,125 --> 00:52:29,323 Hello. 780 00:52:34,756 --> 00:52:36,749 Madison, what is it? 781 00:52:36,842 --> 00:52:38,751 What happened? 782 00:52:38,844 --> 00:52:40,836 [Horse Whinnying On TV Programme] 783 00:52:40,929 --> 00:52:43,800 It's the saddest thing I ever saw. 784 00:52:43,890 --> 00:52:45,598 [TV, Indistinct] 785 00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:48,222 It's Bonanza. 786 00:52:48,311 --> 00:52:51,680 The man killed another man and he died in the street. 787 00:52:51,773 --> 00:52:56,352 No, no. This is only TV. 788 00:52:56,445 --> 00:53:00,063 I thought you understood about TV being make-believe. 789 00:53:00,157 --> 00:53:03,490 It's pretend killing that's going on. 790 00:53:03,577 --> 00:53:05,534 This guy is an actor. 791 00:53:05,620 --> 00:53:08,372 Next week, he'll get shot on another show. 792 00:53:08,457 --> 00:53:09,999 It's kinda funny. 793 00:53:11,710 --> 00:53:14,746 I'm supposed to laugh? 794 00:53:14,838 --> 00:53:16,996 Yeah. 795 00:53:17,090 --> 00:53:18,917 There you go. 796 00:53:19,009 --> 00:53:21,381 Yeah. 797 00:53:21,470 --> 00:53:23,628 I got you something. 798 00:53:27,267 --> 00:53:29,260 [Sigh] 799 00:53:38,820 --> 00:53:42,070 It's beautiful. I love it. 800 00:53:44,076 --> 00:53:46,614 No, you open it. 801 00:53:46,703 --> 00:53:48,612 There's more? 802 00:53:58,673 --> 00:54:02,089 ## [Waltz] 803 00:55:04,781 --> 00:55:07,355 Do you like that? 804 00:55:07,451 --> 00:55:09,739 Yeah, I do. 805 00:55:11,329 --> 00:55:14,165 I don't know why. Just... 806 00:55:14,249 --> 00:55:16,040 something about it. 807 00:55:16,126 --> 00:55:18,664 It's always appealed to me. 808 00:55:20,172 --> 00:55:21,998 Do you like the sea? 809 00:55:22,090 --> 00:55:25,008 No. When I was about 8, 810 00:55:25,093 --> 00:55:27,501 I had this accident on a ship. 811 00:55:27,596 --> 00:55:29,802 I remember. 812 00:55:29,890 --> 00:55:31,681 What? 813 00:55:31,767 --> 00:55:34,258 Ah, I can't. 814 00:55:34,353 --> 00:55:36,013 I forget the words. 815 00:55:36,104 --> 00:55:39,354 What's..."I understand." 816 00:55:39,441 --> 00:55:41,434 [Chuckle] 817 00:55:42,152 --> 00:55:44,358 Did you get hurt? 818 00:55:45,739 --> 00:55:48,859 No, no, I didn't, 819 00:55:48,950 --> 00:55:53,862 but when I was underwater, I could have sworn I saw... 820 00:55:53,955 --> 00:55:56,281 What? 821 00:55:57,042 --> 00:55:58,916 - Nothing. - What? 822 00:55:59,002 --> 00:55:59,998 Nothing! 823 00:56:00,087 --> 00:56:02,957 I was just a stupid kid. 824 00:56:06,468 --> 00:56:10,051 - They're going to tear this park out. - Why? 825 00:56:10,138 --> 00:56:14,053 They're gonna build condos or some such nonsense. 826 00:56:14,142 --> 00:56:17,096 What are you gonna do, huh? 827 00:56:20,065 --> 00:56:22,271 You want to go home? 828 00:56:22,359 --> 00:56:24,316 No, I have 5 days left! 829 00:56:24,403 --> 00:56:25,945 No-no-no. 830 00:56:26,029 --> 00:56:28,236 My home! 831 00:56:28,323 --> 00:56:30,067 Oh. 832 00:56:30,158 --> 00:56:31,818 Yes. 833 00:56:42,527 --> 00:56:45,148 [Allen] Why do we want to go to a political dinner? 834 00:56:45,238 --> 00:56:48,357 - The president will be speaking. - President of what? 835 00:56:48,449 --> 00:56:50,821 President of the Three Stooges Fan Club. 836 00:56:50,910 --> 00:56:53,318 - The president of the United States! - Wow. 837 00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:55,405 We'll be rubbing elbows with the big boys. 838 00:56:55,498 --> 00:56:57,989 - You think big, you be big. - I guess so. 839 00:56:58,084 --> 00:57:00,076 Listen, 840 00:57:00,169 --> 00:57:03,455 would you mind if I took Madison... 841 00:57:03,548 --> 00:57:06,121 instead of going with you? 842 00:57:07,844 --> 00:57:09,421 What? 843 00:57:10,263 --> 00:57:12,670 - What? - What? 844 00:57:12,765 --> 00:57:15,303 Something in here not working? 845 00:57:15,393 --> 00:57:19,011 "Oh, I'll never fall in love, Freddie. 846 00:57:19,105 --> 00:57:21,726 I can't. It won't work with me." 847 00:57:21,816 --> 00:57:24,603 Who said anything about me being in love? 848 00:57:24,694 --> 00:57:27,149 You haven't been to work in two days. 849 00:57:27,238 --> 00:57:29,029 - So? - Admit it. 850 00:57:29,115 --> 00:57:30,692 - No. - Admit it! 851 00:57:30,783 --> 00:57:32,527 Eye gouge! 852 00:57:32,618 --> 00:57:34,611 [Scream] 853 00:57:34,704 --> 00:57:36,163 Ahhh. 854 00:57:36,247 --> 00:57:37,077 Ahhh! 855 00:57:37,165 --> 00:57:40,616 - Admit it. Bone crusher! - No. 856 00:57:45,298 --> 00:57:47,456 Son of a bi... 857 00:57:56,476 --> 00:57:57,970 Ow. 858 00:58:00,772 --> 00:58:02,681 How long we been playing? 859 00:58:02,774 --> 00:58:05,858 - About 5 minutes. - Oh, God. 860 00:58:05,943 --> 00:58:09,063 My heart's beating like a rabbit. 861 00:58:09,155 --> 00:58:11,148 You, uh, want a beer? 862 00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,399 No, thanks. 863 00:58:27,090 --> 00:58:30,007 So, tell me this. 864 00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:32,418 If you're not in love with her, 865 00:58:32,512 --> 00:58:35,762 how come little things she does, drive you crazy? 866 00:58:35,848 --> 00:58:37,426 Little things? 867 00:58:37,517 --> 00:58:41,929 Freddie, the woman learned English in a single afternoon. 868 00:58:43,856 --> 00:58:46,478 She could probably speak English already. 869 00:58:46,567 --> 00:58:48,690 I think she was in shock from being arrested. 870 00:58:48,778 --> 00:58:50,936 What about that, huh? 871 00:58:51,030 --> 00:58:53,735 What about a woman showing up naked in a public place? 872 00:58:53,825 --> 00:58:55,485 I'm for it. 873 00:58:55,576 --> 00:58:57,450 You said... 874 00:58:57,537 --> 00:59:01,155 that she had some kind of immigration problem. 875 00:59:01,249 --> 00:59:05,081 She's on an ocean liner in international waters. 876 00:59:05,169 --> 00:59:09,084 She sees America. It looks good. 877 00:59:09,173 --> 00:59:12,756 So, she greases her body like a channel swimmer. 878 00:59:12,844 --> 00:59:17,137 She dives in. She has heavy trouble with sharks, 879 00:59:17,223 --> 00:59:20,058 she goes through the Coast Guard, minefields, 880 00:59:20,143 --> 00:59:23,843 and then she's on shore. She's okay. That's it. 881 00:59:25,565 --> 00:59:27,723 What about the bathtub? 882 00:59:27,817 --> 00:59:30,818 This moon stuff, and all those TV's? 883 00:59:30,903 --> 00:59:33,110 Look, I'm being serious. 884 00:59:33,197 --> 00:59:38,073 I admit to a few minor fiascos in my love life. 885 00:59:38,161 --> 00:59:42,110 Freddie, you took a date to one of your own weddings! 886 00:59:42,957 --> 00:59:45,199 I'm a free spirit! 887 00:59:45,293 --> 00:59:48,662 I'm extremely liberal, a freewheeling dude. 888 00:59:48,755 --> 00:59:53,582 You're in love with this girl. You're trying to convince yourself you're not. 889 00:59:55,178 --> 00:59:57,336 I just don't know, Freddie. 890 00:59:57,430 --> 00:59:59,719 Something about it isn't right. 891 00:59:59,807 --> 01:00:01,634 I'll serve. 892 01:00:01,726 --> 01:00:04,133 Hold the beer. That will be your handicap. 893 01:00:04,228 --> 01:00:06,802 - Oh, we're gonna play? - Yeah. 894 01:00:06,898 --> 01:00:10,148 - I'm gonna teach you a lesson in humility. 895 01:00:10,234 --> 01:00:12,393 Humility 101. 896 01:00:12,487 --> 01:00:14,230 - You all set? - Yeah. 897 01:00:14,322 --> 01:00:15,899 Here we go. 898 01:00:17,116 --> 01:00:18,279 Oh! 899 01:00:24,957 --> 01:00:27,531 This is what we came to hear? 900 01:00:29,712 --> 01:00:32,084 You call and tell us... 901 01:00:32,173 --> 01:00:36,218 you have stretched the frontiers of paleontology... 902 01:00:36,302 --> 01:00:38,342 and zoology. 903 01:00:38,429 --> 01:00:41,798 We interrupt important, serious work... 904 01:00:41,891 --> 01:00:44,049 to fly here at a moment's notice, 905 01:00:44,143 --> 01:00:46,634 and you give us mermaids! 906 01:00:46,729 --> 01:00:49,600 Don't call us. Call the comic book companies. 907 01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:53,605 Enough. We have a seminar in 3 weeks. Be ready. 908 01:00:55,655 --> 01:00:57,363 [Whistling] 909 01:00:58,950 --> 01:01:01,654 Allen, you're here! I got you a present. 910 01:01:01,744 --> 01:01:05,362 - Don't look. Close your eyes. - I gotta close the door. 911 01:01:05,456 --> 01:01:07,579 What are you doing? 912 01:01:07,667 --> 01:01:10,039 All right. 913 01:01:11,129 --> 01:01:13,536 Okay. Look. 914 01:01:19,971 --> 01:01:23,589 Ha-ha! Wha... You, ah... 915 01:01:23,683 --> 01:01:26,684 Well, that's big! 916 01:01:27,687 --> 01:01:30,723 Yeah, this is... 917 01:01:30,815 --> 01:01:33,388 This is very... big, 918 01:01:33,484 --> 01:01:35,940 and it's... really here. 919 01:01:36,028 --> 01:01:37,938 It's just so big! 920 01:01:38,030 --> 01:01:40,604 They were gonna tear it down, so I bought it for you. 921 01:01:40,700 --> 01:01:43,570 Where did you get the money to pay for it? 922 01:01:45,371 --> 01:01:48,574 Madison, where's your necklace? 923 01:01:48,666 --> 01:01:51,074 I traded it for the statue. 924 01:01:51,169 --> 01:01:52,248 Why? 925 01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:56,168 Because I love you. 926 01:01:57,759 --> 01:02:00,084 Oh, Madison. 927 01:02:04,307 --> 01:02:06,430 Madison, I love... 928 01:02:06,517 --> 01:02:08,724 this, ah, present. 929 01:02:08,811 --> 01:02:11,018 I love it. 930 01:02:13,858 --> 01:02:16,016 And I love you. 931 01:02:21,532 --> 01:02:23,441 [Dr. Zidell] What's happened to you? 932 01:02:23,534 --> 01:02:26,654 You were the brightest student in my class. 933 01:02:26,746 --> 01:02:29,996 True, emotionally, you were 12 years old. 934 01:02:30,083 --> 01:02:33,665 - I was 12 years old. - That's right. 935 01:02:33,753 --> 01:02:35,959 Look what you've become; 936 01:02:36,047 --> 01:02:38,253 a "schmuck." 937 01:02:38,341 --> 01:02:42,125 There is a mermaid in New York City. 938 01:02:42,220 --> 01:02:43,714 You mean this, this... 939 01:02:43,805 --> 01:02:46,296 naked girl? 940 01:02:46,390 --> 01:02:48,300 How come she's got legs? 941 01:02:48,392 --> 01:02:52,521 She has legs out of water and fins in the water. 942 01:02:52,605 --> 01:02:56,306 You taught me that, Dr. Zidell. Remember? 943 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,271 You taught me all the legends. 944 01:02:59,362 --> 01:03:02,363 You used to show me charts on your office walls... 945 01:03:02,448 --> 01:03:06,197 where sailors had claimed they saw mermaids. 946 01:03:06,285 --> 01:03:09,203 Walter, that was for fun, for relaxation, 947 01:03:09,288 --> 01:03:12,539 not for you to build your whole life on. 948 01:03:13,793 --> 01:03:17,493 I'm gonna prove to you and everyone else that... 949 01:03:17,588 --> 01:03:20,625 that girl is a mermaid! 950 01:03:20,716 --> 01:03:23,254 How? You gonna get her wet... 951 01:03:23,344 --> 01:03:26,215 so everybody sees she has fins? 952 01:03:26,305 --> 01:03:27,716 [Chuckle] 953 01:03:32,478 --> 01:03:36,061 [Indistinct] 954 01:03:43,656 --> 01:03:45,150 [Honking] 955 01:03:52,165 --> 01:03:54,572 [Honking] 956 01:04:00,798 --> 01:04:02,506 [Man] Taxi? 957 01:04:05,511 --> 01:04:06,922 Oh! 958 01:04:07,013 --> 01:04:09,420 - Watch it! - Hey, watch it, buddy. 959 01:04:09,515 --> 01:04:11,757 [Walter] Excuse me. 960 01:04:15,271 --> 01:04:17,180 Look out. 961 01:04:19,609 --> 01:04:22,278 What does he think he's doing? 962 01:04:22,361 --> 01:04:25,362 Hey! Hey! 963 01:04:26,032 --> 01:04:29,864 [Crying] 964 01:04:38,878 --> 01:04:40,787 [Walter] Oh, my... 965 01:04:41,964 --> 01:04:44,965 - Ow, ohh, ooof! - [Punches Landing] 966 01:04:50,223 --> 01:04:52,927 ## [Piano] 967 01:05:09,242 --> 01:05:11,115 - [Grunt] - [Gasp] 968 01:05:11,202 --> 01:05:12,862 Oops. 969 01:05:14,414 --> 01:05:16,038 Nice earrings. 970 01:05:18,251 --> 01:05:21,584 - Is something the matter? - No, nothing at all. 971 01:05:21,671 --> 01:05:23,331 I was thinking. 972 01:05:23,423 --> 01:05:26,423 You don't have to leave the country. 973 01:05:28,261 --> 01:05:31,464 - I do. - You don't. There's stuff we can do... 974 01:05:31,556 --> 01:05:34,177 to get around the immigration laws. 975 01:05:34,267 --> 01:05:38,134 I could give you a job down at the market. 976 01:05:38,229 --> 01:05:40,850 You could get a work visa. 977 01:05:40,940 --> 01:05:45,567 Or, uh, you could, uh, 978 01:05:45,653 --> 01:05:48,109 marry, like, an American, 979 01:05:48,197 --> 01:05:50,688 and they have to let you stay. 980 01:05:50,783 --> 01:05:52,823 Our food is here! 981 01:05:52,910 --> 01:05:55,448 Oh. 982 01:05:55,538 --> 01:05:59,370 Well, we'll talk about it later. 983 01:05:59,459 --> 01:06:03,207 Do be careful, madam. The plate is very hot. 984 01:06:03,296 --> 01:06:05,502 Thank you. These look terrific. 985 01:06:27,361 --> 01:06:29,734 She's really hungry! 986 01:06:31,908 --> 01:06:34,659 ## ["Skater's Waltz"] 987 01:06:54,138 --> 01:06:57,139 You were very good. 988 01:06:57,225 --> 01:06:59,846 Come on. Oops. Come on. 989 01:07:01,604 --> 01:07:03,810 Let's sit down and talk. 990 01:07:05,483 --> 01:07:06,562 Ah. 991 01:07:08,194 --> 01:07:10,400 Your nose is cold. 992 01:07:10,488 --> 01:07:13,323 I don't want to talk about my nose. 993 01:07:13,407 --> 01:07:15,566 Your ears are all red! 994 01:07:15,660 --> 01:07:19,278 I don't want to talk about any part of my face. 995 01:07:19,372 --> 01:07:24,615 But I do want to talk about what happened in the restaurant. 996 01:07:24,710 --> 01:07:27,036 I'm sorry. 997 01:07:27,130 --> 01:07:30,166 That's how we eat lobster where I come from. 998 01:07:30,258 --> 01:07:34,469 Oh, no-no-no. I don't care about that. 999 01:07:34,554 --> 01:07:38,634 I was trying to do something in there... 1000 01:07:38,724 --> 01:07:41,346 and I guess I did it very badly. 1001 01:07:41,436 --> 01:07:43,309 I was trying... 1002 01:07:44,397 --> 01:07:48,560 to ask you if you wanted to get married. 1003 01:07:50,903 --> 01:07:53,275 Madison, will you marry me? 1004 01:07:59,745 --> 01:08:01,288 No. 1005 01:08:01,372 --> 01:08:03,993 What? No? Just no? 1006 01:08:04,083 --> 01:08:07,666 You don't want to think about it, kick it around? 1007 01:08:07,754 --> 01:08:09,663 - I can't. - Why? 1008 01:08:09,756 --> 01:08:12,293 I can't tell you. 1009 01:08:12,383 --> 01:08:14,625 I know you have some big secret you think... 1010 01:08:14,719 --> 01:08:16,842 you can't tell me, but you can. 1011 01:08:16,929 --> 01:08:18,839 - You're already married? - Allen. 1012 01:08:18,931 --> 01:08:21,090 You're dying? You were once a man? 1013 01:08:21,184 --> 01:08:23,722 - Whatever it is, you can tell me. - Allen. 1014 01:08:23,811 --> 01:08:27,263 I only have three days left. 1015 01:08:28,775 --> 01:08:31,479 Please make them wonderful. 1016 01:08:33,738 --> 01:08:35,647 Okay. 1017 01:08:42,955 --> 01:08:45,446 Want to skate some more? 1018 01:08:46,459 --> 01:08:48,617 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 1019 01:08:52,381 --> 01:08:54,208 Allen? 1020 01:09:10,650 --> 01:09:12,559 You know them? 1021 01:09:12,652 --> 01:09:16,270 No, I�ve just seen them before. 1022 01:09:16,364 --> 01:09:19,318 I guess they've come here for about 40 years. 1023 01:09:21,869 --> 01:09:23,778 They look very happy. 1024 01:09:23,871 --> 01:09:27,121 Why shouldn't they be happy, huh? 1025 01:09:27,208 --> 01:09:30,494 They get to spend their whole lives together. 1026 01:09:33,714 --> 01:09:37,415 Is this really what happens when water gets cold? 1027 01:09:37,510 --> 01:09:39,586 Yeah. 1028 01:09:39,679 --> 01:09:42,430 Where I come from, it never gets cold. 1029 01:09:42,515 --> 01:09:45,302 Well, hey, what a breakthrough! 1030 01:09:45,393 --> 01:09:48,678 You just really opened up to me there. 1031 01:09:51,190 --> 01:09:53,764 Your voice sounds funny. 1032 01:09:53,860 --> 01:09:55,899 It's called sarcasm. 1033 01:09:55,987 --> 01:09:58,857 They don't have that where you come from either? 1034 01:10:00,825 --> 01:10:02,616 No. 1035 01:10:02,702 --> 01:10:07,280 Well, they don't have anything, do they? 1036 01:10:07,373 --> 01:10:11,537 They don't have ice, or music, or clothes. 1037 01:10:11,627 --> 01:10:14,545 What kind of a place is this? 1038 01:10:15,715 --> 01:10:17,873 Madison? 1039 01:10:17,967 --> 01:10:20,968 - Madison! - Hey, those skates are rented! 1040 01:10:21,053 --> 01:10:23,260 Give me one second. Madison? 1041 01:10:23,347 --> 01:10:24,972 Ahh! Madison! 1042 01:10:27,101 --> 01:10:30,221 Madison, please? I'm sorry! 1043 01:10:30,313 --> 01:10:33,349 Let her go. Show some dignity. 1044 01:10:33,441 --> 01:10:34,900 Madison? 1045 01:10:37,737 --> 01:10:40,144 [Indistinct] 1046 01:10:44,368 --> 01:10:46,160 Thanks. 1047 01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:10,056 [Car Horn] 1048 01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:25,276 [Thunder] 1049 01:12:36,647 --> 01:12:38,557 Hey, Charlie. How's it goin'? 1050 01:12:43,529 --> 01:12:45,438 - Allen? - What? 1051 01:12:54,499 --> 01:12:56,041 Yes. 1052 01:13:09,889 --> 01:13:12,641 If we get our blood test today, 1053 01:13:12,725 --> 01:13:14,634 we can marry tomorrow! 1054 01:13:14,727 --> 01:13:17,681 Before the blood test, I have to tell you everything. 1055 01:13:17,772 --> 01:13:20,014 So, tell me. 1056 01:13:20,108 --> 01:13:22,147 - Not today. - But, see, 1057 01:13:22,235 --> 01:13:24,808 if we get the test today... no pressure, mind you... 1058 01:13:24,904 --> 01:13:28,902 then as soon as you tell me, we can get married. 1059 01:13:29,075 --> 01:13:31,198 Listen, you will love being married to me. 1060 01:13:31,285 --> 01:13:35,746 I was born to be married. Mom and Dad were married. 1061 01:13:35,832 --> 01:13:39,201 Their moms and dads were married, too. 1062 01:13:43,756 --> 01:13:46,923 [Panting] 1063 01:14:12,118 --> 01:14:13,945 [Camera Clicks] 1064 01:14:17,832 --> 01:14:20,288 Son of a bitch. 1065 01:14:20,376 --> 01:14:22,452 I thought we were going upstairs. 1066 01:14:22,545 --> 01:14:25,380 I love you. I'm not gonna lose you again. 1067 01:14:25,465 --> 01:14:27,872 We are getting married tonight. 1068 01:14:27,967 --> 01:14:31,550 We're gonna drive to Maryland. Freddie always marries there. 1069 01:14:31,637 --> 01:14:33,926 You don't need a blood test down there. 1070 01:14:34,015 --> 01:14:37,265 There's this dinner with the president. Damn! 1071 01:14:37,351 --> 01:14:41,052 Hey, that's okay! We'll go to Maryland after dinner. 1072 01:14:41,147 --> 01:14:43,720 - We'll already be dressed up! - I haven't told you... 1073 01:14:43,816 --> 01:14:46,390 You haven't told me this big secret. 1074 01:14:46,486 --> 01:14:48,562 Tell me on the way to Maryland. 1075 01:14:49,655 --> 01:14:51,565 Oooh! 1076 01:15:21,604 --> 01:15:24,938 I hope we have a boy and a girl. 1077 01:15:26,859 --> 01:15:30,727 - What kind? - Wha... What kind? 1078 01:15:30,822 --> 01:15:33,194 The young kind, I guess. 1079 01:15:33,282 --> 01:15:36,070 The older ones are a little hard to deliver. 1080 01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:38,069 We're getting married tonight. 1081 01:15:38,162 --> 01:15:40,285 - Wonderful. - Thank you. 1082 01:15:40,373 --> 01:15:43,623 Why is this bread in here instead of out there? 1083 01:15:43,709 --> 01:15:46,283 The butter is hard like a rock. 1084 01:15:46,379 --> 01:15:48,870 Do you have a broken arm? 1085 01:15:48,965 --> 01:15:52,464 No, it's fractured in 16 places. 1086 01:15:52,552 --> 01:15:54,378 Why are you here? 1087 01:15:55,721 --> 01:15:57,798 The union sent me. 1088 01:15:57,890 --> 01:16:00,132 ## ["Hail To The Chief"] 1089 01:16:00,226 --> 01:16:03,346 My God, the president is here! 1090 01:16:03,438 --> 01:16:06,807 The president's here. The president's here! 1091 01:16:24,709 --> 01:16:27,247 Hmm. 1092 01:16:42,268 --> 01:16:44,474 I'm just a corn-fed Kansas boy, 1093 01:16:44,562 --> 01:16:47,682 but you are the Big Apple of my eye. 1094 01:16:49,275 --> 01:16:50,817 Thank you. 1095 01:16:51,402 --> 01:16:53,359 Thank you. 1096 01:16:53,446 --> 01:16:55,485 Thank you very much. 1097 01:16:57,033 --> 01:17:00,698 Thank you. It's great to be back in New York. 1098 01:17:11,964 --> 01:17:13,874 Alert. Alert. Table 5. 1099 01:17:13,966 --> 01:17:16,089 Intercept busboy with suspicious hump. 1100 01:17:19,555 --> 01:17:21,465 He's reaching! Get him now! 1101 01:17:21,557 --> 01:17:24,511 - Sir, I'd like a word with you, please. - About what? 1102 01:17:24,602 --> 01:17:26,559 This has nothing to do with the president. 1103 01:17:26,646 --> 01:17:29,563 This has nothing to do with the president! 1104 01:17:29,649 --> 01:17:31,476 [Indistinct] 1105 01:17:31,567 --> 01:17:36,110 Well, I guess he just found out what his dinner cost. 1106 01:17:39,158 --> 01:17:41,281 I want to talk to the press. 1107 01:17:41,369 --> 01:17:43,527 I want to talk to the press. 1108 01:17:43,621 --> 01:17:45,993 I have a formal statement to make! 1109 01:17:46,082 --> 01:17:49,700 [President] In Bob Hollins, you have a candidate for Congress... 1110 01:17:49,794 --> 01:17:51,751 who is in touch with the people, 1111 01:17:51,838 --> 01:17:55,705 a man who built up the business left to him by his grandfather. 1112 01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:57,709 What was once a small pushcart on wheels... 1113 01:17:57,802 --> 01:18:00,756 - Allen? - Yeah? 1114 01:18:00,847 --> 01:18:03,088 It's time for me to tell you. 1115 01:18:03,182 --> 01:18:05,389 What? Now? 1116 01:18:05,476 --> 01:18:08,596 - Right now. - Okay. Great. 1117 01:18:08,688 --> 01:18:10,846 - Not here. - Fine. Fine. 1118 01:18:10,940 --> 01:18:15,187 [President] But more importantly, with fresh meat. 1119 01:18:15,278 --> 01:18:18,397 - I am not crazy. There's a mermaid in there. 1120 01:18:18,489 --> 01:18:20,316 - What mermaid? - I am a scientist! 1121 01:18:20,408 --> 01:18:22,899 Where's the goddam car! 1122 01:18:23,119 --> 01:18:25,788 The grey BMW. 1123 01:18:25,872 --> 01:18:27,781 [Shouting] 1124 01:18:27,874 --> 01:18:30,365 [Indistinct] 1125 01:18:30,460 --> 01:18:32,452 Hey, I know that guy. 1126 01:18:32,545 --> 01:18:35,581 I saw him on Cape Cod. He was crazy then. 1127 01:18:35,673 --> 01:18:39,208 There she is! There she is! 1128 01:18:41,345 --> 01:18:43,836 - Don't let him shoot that. - That a gun? 1129 01:18:43,931 --> 01:18:45,474 Hold it! 1130 01:18:45,558 --> 01:18:46,721 No! 1131 01:18:46,809 --> 01:18:49,051 Get that thing out of his hand. 1132 01:18:50,271 --> 01:18:52,145 Grab that hose! 1133 01:18:52,231 --> 01:18:55,398 Grab him! Get him! 1134 01:18:59,906 --> 01:19:00,855 No! 1135 01:19:00,948 --> 01:19:03,570 What's going on? 1136 01:19:20,927 --> 01:19:23,500 I was right! 1137 01:19:23,596 --> 01:19:27,463 Behold the mermaid! 1138 01:19:27,558 --> 01:19:30,429 [Crowd Gasps] 1139 01:19:34,107 --> 01:19:35,684 Let me outta here! 1140 01:19:35,775 --> 01:19:37,684 Who are you? What is your name? 1141 01:19:37,777 --> 01:19:39,437 Allen! 1142 01:19:40,655 --> 01:19:43,027 - What do we do? - Grab her. Grab everybody. 1143 01:19:43,116 --> 01:19:44,610 I want to see her. 1144 01:19:44,700 --> 01:19:47,274 Allen! Allen! 1145 01:19:47,370 --> 01:19:50,454 Get her! Get her! 1146 01:19:51,499 --> 01:19:53,123 Allen! 1147 01:19:57,713 --> 01:19:59,208 Please? 1148 01:19:59,298 --> 01:20:02,216 - Let's pick her up. - Allen. Allen! 1149 01:20:07,432 --> 01:20:09,508 Allen. Allen. 1150 01:20:14,605 --> 01:20:16,432 Allen! 1151 01:20:23,239 --> 01:20:26,323 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. 1152 01:20:26,409 --> 01:20:29,161 [Man On P.A. System] Dr. Hill, line 5. Stat! 1153 01:20:31,622 --> 01:20:33,165 - Buckwalter. - Sir! 1154 01:20:34,250 --> 01:20:36,207 Gentlemen. 1155 01:20:36,294 --> 01:20:38,203 - Anything? - No change. 1156 01:20:49,015 --> 01:20:51,422 I am not a fish! 1157 01:20:51,517 --> 01:20:56,060 How many times do I have to tell you that? 1158 01:20:56,147 --> 01:20:59,183 Will you just let me out of here? 1159 01:20:59,275 --> 01:21:02,644 Please? Huh? People? 1160 01:21:02,737 --> 01:21:05,109 Let's try some interaction. 1161 01:21:05,198 --> 01:21:07,321 Fine. Jim? 1162 01:21:07,408 --> 01:21:10,113 [Hoist Motor] 1163 01:21:41,526 --> 01:21:43,399 [Beeping] 1164 01:21:59,669 --> 01:22:03,334 I guess they thought you might be one. 1165 01:22:04,882 --> 01:22:07,171 Yeah. 1166 01:22:07,260 --> 01:22:09,087 I guess so. 1167 01:22:10,847 --> 01:22:14,263 You said whatever my secret was, you'd understand. 1168 01:22:14,350 --> 01:22:17,304 I know. 1169 01:22:20,398 --> 01:22:24,016 You thought at least I was a human being. 1170 01:22:31,325 --> 01:22:33,117 Allen? 1171 01:22:49,177 --> 01:22:52,795 He's been in the water 12 hours. He's just a man. 1172 01:22:52,889 --> 01:22:55,759 Get him out so we can concentrate on her. 1173 01:23:06,652 --> 01:23:09,570 Greg Martin, W-M-E-T Radio, here with Allen Bauer. 1174 01:23:09,655 --> 01:23:13,071 - When did you meet the mermaid? - Tell me where. 1175 01:23:13,159 --> 01:23:15,780 Did you know she was a mermaid? 1176 01:23:15,870 --> 01:23:19,073 - Did you actually make love to her? - That's a stupid question. 1177 01:23:19,165 --> 01:23:21,074 Did she eat worms? 1178 01:23:21,167 --> 01:23:24,251 Would you have to make love to her in water? 1179 01:23:24,337 --> 01:23:26,211 That's none of your business. 1180 01:23:26,297 --> 01:23:28,918 Is she a mutant or missing link? 1181 01:23:29,008 --> 01:23:30,289 No, she's not. 1182 01:23:30,384 --> 01:23:33,635 I'm from People. Is she also seeing Burt Reynolds? 1183 01:23:33,721 --> 01:23:36,046 For crying out loud! 1184 01:23:39,769 --> 01:23:41,927 Leave him alone! 1185 01:23:42,021 --> 01:23:45,770 Leave him alone! Get out of the way! 1186 01:23:45,858 --> 01:23:47,815 - Let me through. - Out of the way. 1187 01:23:47,902 --> 01:23:50,986 - Allen, you all right? - Yeah. Get me out. 1188 01:23:51,072 --> 01:23:53,527 Is anyone here from Penthouse? 1189 01:23:53,616 --> 01:23:56,902 - [Everyone] No. - Then we ain't talking. 1190 01:23:58,162 --> 01:24:00,700 ## [Car Radio] 1191 01:24:17,557 --> 01:24:19,549 Hey, Allen? 1192 01:24:24,939 --> 01:24:27,691 What are you looking at? 1193 01:24:27,775 --> 01:24:30,100 You never saw a guy who slept with a fish? 1194 01:24:30,194 --> 01:24:32,768 Get back to work! 1195 01:24:33,990 --> 01:24:36,944 Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. 1196 01:24:37,034 --> 01:24:39,157 I wrote them down. 1197 01:24:39,245 --> 01:24:41,534 You got calls from... 1198 01:24:41,622 --> 01:24:44,493 CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, 1199 01:24:44,584 --> 01:24:48,498 UPI, Ted Turner, Time, Newsweek, 1200 01:24:48,588 --> 01:24:51,375 Marineland, "Ripley's Believe It Or Not, " 1201 01:24:51,466 --> 01:24:53,873 and Mrs. Paul. 1202 01:24:53,968 --> 01:24:57,586 Not now, Mrs. Stimler. 1203 01:25:00,933 --> 01:25:03,056 "Fishman?" 1204 01:25:03,770 --> 01:25:05,679 Fishman! 1205 01:25:05,772 --> 01:25:08,772 That's what they're calling you on TV, too. 1206 01:25:08,858 --> 01:25:11,314 Personally, I think it's kinda cute. 1207 01:25:14,572 --> 01:25:16,612 So, how is she? 1208 01:25:16,699 --> 01:25:20,364 How is she? 1209 01:25:20,453 --> 01:25:22,778 She's... a mermaid. 1210 01:25:22,872 --> 01:25:26,786 I don't understand. All my life... 1211 01:25:26,876 --> 01:25:28,999 I've been waiting for someone... 1212 01:25:29,087 --> 01:25:31,542 and when I find her, 1213 01:25:31,631 --> 01:25:33,540 she's a fish. 1214 01:25:33,633 --> 01:25:35,921 Nobody said love's perfect! 1215 01:25:36,010 --> 01:25:40,637 Oh, Freddie, I don't expect it to be perfect, 1216 01:25:40,723 --> 01:25:43,724 but for God's sake, it's usually human! 1217 01:25:45,478 --> 01:25:48,645 Every day people meet and they fall in love. 1218 01:25:48,731 --> 01:25:50,142 Look what I got. 1219 01:25:52,235 --> 01:25:55,853 Look what you got. Yeah, let's look. 1220 01:25:56,989 --> 01:25:59,907 Let's take a good look at what you got. 1221 01:25:59,992 --> 01:26:02,697 - People fall in love every day, huh? - Yeah. 1222 01:26:02,787 --> 01:26:06,654 That's a crock! It doesn't work that way. 1223 01:26:06,749 --> 01:26:09,157 Do you realize how happy you were with her? 1224 01:26:09,252 --> 01:26:11,921 That is, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. 1225 01:26:12,004 --> 01:26:15,041 Every day? Come on. 1226 01:26:15,133 --> 01:26:18,133 Some people will never be that happy! 1227 01:26:18,219 --> 01:26:21,553 I'll never be that happy. 1228 01:26:22,890 --> 01:26:25,381 What am I talking to you for? 1229 01:26:25,476 --> 01:26:28,430 You don't know nothing. Mrs. Stimler? 1230 01:26:34,235 --> 01:26:36,275 [Beeping] 1231 01:27:01,429 --> 01:27:03,754 Does she look a little pale? 1232 01:27:05,641 --> 01:27:07,883 Ah, that's a good day's work. 1233 01:27:07,977 --> 01:27:11,476 Tomorrow, I want to see how she interacts... 1234 01:27:11,564 --> 01:27:17,187 with other marine life, then the internal examination. 1235 01:27:17,278 --> 01:27:18,986 Internal? 1236 01:27:19,071 --> 01:27:22,156 I want to study her pulmonary system, 1237 01:27:22,241 --> 01:27:25,860 - reproductive organs, everything! - Dr. Ross? 1238 01:27:25,953 --> 01:27:29,405 Are we considering... 1239 01:27:29,499 --> 01:27:33,164 how the subject is responding to the examination procedure? 1240 01:27:33,252 --> 01:27:35,044 I'm considering everything! 1241 01:27:35,129 --> 01:27:37,964 Ah, yes, 1242 01:27:38,049 --> 01:27:40,291 I'm sure you are, Dr. Ross. 1243 01:27:40,384 --> 01:27:42,958 How stupid of me. But let me ask, 1244 01:27:43,054 --> 01:27:45,260 are you considering the possibility... 1245 01:27:45,348 --> 01:27:47,839 that you might be a sadistic pig? 1246 01:27:52,522 --> 01:27:55,938 While we are baring our souls, Mr. Kornbluth, 1247 01:27:56,025 --> 01:27:59,643 I must honestly tell you I have never considered you a man of science. 1248 01:27:59,737 --> 01:28:02,821 You're not a member of my team. 1249 01:28:02,907 --> 01:28:07,783 Run along, Walter. See if you can't find a unicorn. 1250 01:28:11,290 --> 01:28:13,164 [Door Slams] 1251 01:29:02,842 --> 01:29:05,167 [Trickling Water] 1252 01:29:16,647 --> 01:29:20,431 - What's that? - Painkiller, Mr. Kornbluth. 1253 01:29:20,526 --> 01:29:22,934 Whoever punched you cracked your tooth. 1254 01:29:23,029 --> 01:29:25,567 We'll be very close to the nerve. 1255 01:29:25,656 --> 01:29:29,440 I don't deserve painkiller. Just drill. 1256 01:29:29,535 --> 01:29:33,450 Oh, you want pain. Well, we aim to please. 1257 01:29:33,539 --> 01:29:35,199 [Drill Motor Whirring] 1258 01:29:36,209 --> 01:29:38,248 Get out. 1259 01:29:38,336 --> 01:29:40,163 - What are you... - Get out! 1260 01:29:40,254 --> 01:29:43,588 - Ja, ja, ja. - Please stay. Ahh! 1261 01:29:44,884 --> 01:29:46,841 Let's talk. 1262 01:29:50,139 --> 01:29:52,262 Hey, put that down. 1263 01:29:52,350 --> 01:29:54,841 - Put that needle down. - Stay away from me. 1264 01:29:54,936 --> 01:29:58,435 - I said, "Let's talk." Put it down. - Stay away! 1265 01:30:03,569 --> 01:30:05,609 Ahhh! 1266 01:30:06,322 --> 01:30:08,030 Ahhh! 1267 01:30:08,116 --> 01:30:10,192 Ohhh! 1268 01:30:11,494 --> 01:30:12,774 Uh. 1269 01:30:14,622 --> 01:30:16,365 Ah! 1270 01:30:18,334 --> 01:30:21,454 Ah! 1271 01:30:21,546 --> 01:30:23,704 What a week I'm having! 1272 01:30:26,134 --> 01:30:28,803 You've destroyed my life, Kornbluth. 1273 01:30:28,886 --> 01:30:31,721 I didn't mean to. 1274 01:30:31,806 --> 01:30:35,139 I just had to prove that I wasn't crazy. 1275 01:30:35,226 --> 01:30:38,061 I'm a man of science. 1276 01:30:40,690 --> 01:30:44,273 I just didn't think about how it would affect you... 1277 01:30:44,360 --> 01:30:46,269 or her. 1278 01:30:46,362 --> 01:30:48,818 I'm really a nice guy. 1279 01:30:48,906 --> 01:30:51,444 If I had friends, you could ask them. 1280 01:30:51,534 --> 01:30:55,863 I've been on the phone to every employee of the government... 1281 01:30:55,955 --> 01:30:59,454 calling them sons of bitches. 1282 01:30:59,542 --> 01:31:02,876 Nobody could even get in to see her. 1283 01:31:05,047 --> 01:31:06,542 I can. 1284 01:31:09,552 --> 01:31:12,257 Come on. Come on! 1285 01:31:12,346 --> 01:31:14,553 - Ahh! - Come on. 1286 01:31:55,932 --> 01:31:59,182 Good afternoon, Dr. Kornbluth. I wasn't expecting you today. 1287 01:31:59,268 --> 01:32:01,344 These are Drs. Jarred and Johanssen... 1288 01:32:01,437 --> 01:32:03,430 from the Stockholm Institute. 1289 01:32:03,523 --> 01:32:06,061 I thought they were coming later with Dr. Ross. 1290 01:32:06,150 --> 01:32:10,148 No, no. That story was to fool the press. 1291 01:32:11,197 --> 01:32:14,530 You know, I'm half Swedish. 1292 01:32:19,122 --> 01:32:21,031 - Ja. - Ja. 1293 01:32:24,460 --> 01:32:28,043 - Ja. - Oh, ja. 1294 01:32:28,131 --> 01:32:29,755 Well! 1295 01:32:29,841 --> 01:32:31,917 Just a second. 1296 01:32:49,026 --> 01:32:50,984 Ah. 1297 01:33:02,081 --> 01:33:04,703 - How the hell did you do that? - Let me tell you. 1298 01:33:04,792 --> 01:33:07,366 Many nudie films come from Sweden. 1299 01:33:07,462 --> 01:33:11,673 After you see them 400 or 500 times, the stuff sinks in. 1300 01:33:11,758 --> 01:33:13,834 Afternoon, Buckwalter. 1301 01:33:13,926 --> 01:33:16,002 Sorry, no one comes in... 1302 01:33:16,095 --> 01:33:19,132 until Dr. Ross gets back with them Swede people. 1303 01:33:19,223 --> 01:33:21,216 These are the Swedish doctors. 1304 01:33:21,309 --> 01:33:24,345 These are... Swedes? 1305 01:33:24,437 --> 01:33:26,560 Ah, come here. 1306 01:33:26,647 --> 01:33:30,775 Isn't that one kinda dark? 1307 01:33:30,860 --> 01:33:33,149 He's dirty from the trip! 1308 01:33:33,237 --> 01:33:35,563 - Let us in. - I'm not supposed to. 1309 01:33:35,656 --> 01:33:37,696 What are you afraid of? 1310 01:33:37,784 --> 01:33:41,568 Do you think we're gonna steal the mermaid? 1311 01:33:41,662 --> 01:33:43,951 Steal the mermaid. Stealing the mermaid! 1312 01:33:44,040 --> 01:33:47,373 Are we gonna fold her in half and put her in a briefcase? 1313 01:33:47,460 --> 01:33:49,417 In a briefcase. In half. 1314 01:33:49,504 --> 01:33:52,208 I guess it's all right. 1315 01:33:52,298 --> 01:33:53,757 Go in. Go in. 1316 01:33:53,841 --> 01:33:55,834 - Good joke, there. - Yeah. 1317 01:33:58,221 --> 01:34:00,094 [Beeping] 1318 01:34:10,608 --> 01:34:13,181 [Faster Beeping] 1319 01:34:31,003 --> 01:34:33,411 - Hi. - Hi. 1320 01:34:33,506 --> 01:34:37,254 Is this the big secret you've been keeping, 1321 01:34:37,343 --> 01:34:40,095 that you're a mermaid, or is there something else? 1322 01:34:40,179 --> 01:34:42,255 No, that's it. 1323 01:34:45,518 --> 01:34:48,804 Allen, don't feel guilty. 1324 01:34:48,896 --> 01:34:51,055 Guilty? About what? 1325 01:34:51,149 --> 01:34:53,521 About not loving me any more. 1326 01:34:54,986 --> 01:34:57,607 Oh, Madison. 1327 01:34:57,697 --> 01:34:59,939 All the time we were together, 1328 01:35:00,032 --> 01:35:02,606 you always knew how I was feeling. 1329 01:35:02,702 --> 01:35:04,611 Can't you tell now? 1330 01:35:09,500 --> 01:35:11,125 [Faster Beeping] 1331 01:35:13,838 --> 01:35:17,456 # Well, left my wife in New Orleans # 1332 01:35:17,550 --> 01:35:19,756 # Forty-eight kids and a can of beans # 1333 01:35:19,844 --> 01:35:22,715 - # Left, right, one, two ## - Oh, my God! 1334 01:35:22,805 --> 01:35:24,845 - What? - Stand back, man. 1335 01:35:24,932 --> 01:35:28,348 Cover his face, for God's sake! 1336 01:35:28,436 --> 01:35:31,009 What happened? What's going on? 1337 01:35:31,105 --> 01:35:33,643 Dr. Johanssen bent down to examine that creature... 1338 01:35:33,733 --> 01:35:36,603 and suddenly these rays came out of her eyes! 1339 01:35:36,694 --> 01:35:39,861 Don't go in there! She'll melt your face off. 1340 01:35:39,947 --> 01:35:41,940 I knew something would happen. What should I do? 1341 01:35:42,033 --> 01:35:45,568 - Don't whine. Seal off the area. - I'll call the Pentagon. 1342 01:35:45,661 --> 01:35:48,497 You want to create a national panic? 1343 01:35:48,581 --> 01:35:51,997 - I don't want to die! - Pull yourself together. 1344 01:35:52,085 --> 01:35:54,124 Don't let anybody in that room. 1345 01:35:54,212 --> 01:35:57,545 I'll be back with nuclear weapons. Come on, Doctor. 1346 01:36:25,159 --> 01:36:27,366 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. Who are your guests? 1347 01:36:27,453 --> 01:36:30,953 Drs. Jarred and Johanssen from the Swedish Institute. 1348 01:36:31,040 --> 01:36:32,997 Sir? 1349 01:36:33,084 --> 01:36:37,545 Dr. Kornbluth left with the Swedes a few minutes ago. 1350 01:36:43,761 --> 01:36:47,711 Hiya, boys. Come in. The water's fine. 1351 01:36:47,807 --> 01:36:49,681 [Laughing] 1352 01:36:50,810 --> 01:36:52,849 Let's get her back now! 1353 01:36:52,937 --> 01:36:54,811 And arrest him. 1354 01:36:58,109 --> 01:37:01,312 [Alarm] 1355 01:37:08,911 --> 01:37:13,123 [Helicopter] We have a blue BMW. Over. 1356 01:37:36,355 --> 01:37:38,348 [Honking] Come on. 1357 01:37:38,441 --> 01:37:42,141 Know something? I don't think we're being followed. 1358 01:37:42,236 --> 01:37:45,273 Wha... Well, that was easy. 1359 01:37:45,364 --> 01:37:47,274 That was simple! 1360 01:37:47,366 --> 01:37:48,777 We did it! [Laughing] 1361 01:37:48,868 --> 01:37:51,157 - [Walter] My plan. - You're a genius. 1362 01:37:51,245 --> 01:37:54,365 I am a genius, but you came in with the Swedish thing. 1363 01:37:54,457 --> 01:37:57,126 That was a brilliant touch. 1364 01:37:57,210 --> 01:37:59,997 I didn't even like you when we first met. 1365 01:38:00,088 --> 01:38:02,127 Nobody likes me when they first meet me. 1366 01:38:02,215 --> 01:38:03,709 [Laughing] 1367 01:38:03,800 --> 01:38:05,757 Allen? 1368 01:38:13,017 --> 01:38:15,473 - Move! - All right. Here we go! 1369 01:38:20,066 --> 01:38:21,774 [Honking] 1370 01:38:26,322 --> 01:38:28,279 [Honking] 1371 01:38:31,744 --> 01:38:33,903 Suspect heading south on Broadway. 1372 01:39:06,654 --> 01:39:10,699 [Helicopter] Unit One. Lost them in the Wall Street district. Over. 1373 01:39:13,911 --> 01:39:16,034 - Stop the car. - What? 1374 01:39:16,122 --> 01:39:18,613 Stop and let me out. I'll slow them down. Do it! 1375 01:39:24,922 --> 01:39:28,541 I caused all this. Now I'm gonna finish it. 1376 01:39:37,018 --> 01:39:39,176 Get the hell out of here. 1377 01:39:39,270 --> 01:39:41,144 Go! 1378 01:39:58,915 --> 01:40:00,658 Whoa! Oooh. 1379 01:40:03,669 --> 01:40:06,207 What a week I'm having! 1380 01:40:07,340 --> 01:40:08,917 [Honking] 1381 01:40:16,974 --> 01:40:19,726 [Honking] 1382 01:40:20,853 --> 01:40:23,605 Hey, mac, move that thing out of here. 1383 01:40:24,732 --> 01:40:27,401 Up yours, Gomer. I'm waitin' for a fare. 1384 01:40:27,485 --> 01:40:29,524 [Tires Screech] 1385 01:40:35,118 --> 01:40:36,232 Heave! 1386 01:40:39,539 --> 01:40:41,412 All right. Move out. 1387 01:40:42,917 --> 01:40:44,993 Come on, let's go! 1388 01:41:10,695 --> 01:41:14,028 - I was ready to stay with you forever. - I know. 1389 01:41:14,115 --> 01:41:16,570 They know who you are. They won't leave you alone. 1390 01:41:16,659 --> 01:41:19,115 I can't ever come back to you. 1391 01:41:19,203 --> 01:41:21,741 I wish I could go with you. 1392 01:41:21,831 --> 01:41:24,120 You can. 1393 01:41:24,208 --> 01:41:26,699 - How? - It can be done. 1394 01:41:26,794 --> 01:41:30,709 Remember when you were 8 and fell off the ship? 1395 01:41:30,798 --> 01:41:33,206 You were safe under the water, weren't you? 1396 01:41:33,301 --> 01:41:35,459 Yeah. 1397 01:41:35,553 --> 01:41:38,091 You were with me. 1398 01:41:38,181 --> 01:41:41,384 You mean, that was real? 1399 01:41:42,226 --> 01:41:44,848 That was you? 1400 01:41:44,937 --> 01:41:47,179 That was you! 1401 01:41:50,485 --> 01:41:53,154 This is great. This is great! 1402 01:41:53,237 --> 01:41:55,563 I can go with you and still come back... 1403 01:41:55,656 --> 01:41:58,408 and see Freddie at Christmas. 1404 01:41:58,493 --> 01:42:00,485 You can't ever come back. 1405 01:42:00,578 --> 01:42:03,698 [Sirens] 1406 01:42:14,217 --> 01:42:16,174 Madison. 1407 01:42:19,013 --> 01:42:20,922 I understand. 1408 01:42:30,233 --> 01:42:32,356 You on the dock, don't move. 1409 01:42:32,443 --> 01:42:34,483 You're under arrest. 1410 01:42:34,570 --> 01:42:36,646 Let the girl go. Step back. 1411 01:42:36,739 --> 01:42:38,946 You're under arrest. 1412 01:42:39,033 --> 01:42:40,824 You have to go. 1413 01:42:40,910 --> 01:42:43,318 Move out. Let's go! 1414 01:42:44,080 --> 01:42:46,238 I love you, Madison. 1415 01:42:47,917 --> 01:42:49,459 Go. 1416 01:42:51,337 --> 01:42:52,748 Go! 1417 01:43:00,179 --> 01:43:03,014 Get that guy on the dock. 1418 01:43:04,434 --> 01:43:06,141 Leave her alone! 1419 01:43:09,021 --> 01:43:10,765 Leave her alone! 1420 01:43:21,701 --> 01:43:23,361 Madison. 1421 01:43:30,251 --> 01:43:31,876 Madison! 1422 01:43:41,971 --> 01:43:45,803 Stay where you are. We'll get you out. 1423 01:43:48,644 --> 01:43:51,349 [Gasping] Madison! 1424 01:44:36,692 --> 01:44:38,851 [Garbled Shouts] 1425 01:44:38,945 --> 01:44:40,736 Ooo! 1426 01:45:08,808 --> 01:45:13,221 ## ["Love Came For Me"] 1427 01:45:13,312 --> 01:45:16,563 # One fine day # 1428 01:45:17,650 --> 01:45:22,893 # Love came for me # 1429 01:45:24,657 --> 01:45:28,737 # And love was rare # 1430 01:45:30,621 --> 01:45:34,701 # As love can be # 1431 01:45:36,544 --> 01:45:41,669 # I saw stars # 1432 01:45:41,758 --> 01:45:47,262 # Shining in clear blue skies # 1433 01:45:47,346 --> 01:45:52,803 # We flowed together # 1434 01:45:54,020 --> 01:45:57,519 # Once and forever # 1435 01:45:59,817 --> 01:46:03,945 # Love came for me # 1436 01:46:05,782 --> 01:46:09,530 # One fine night # 1437 01:46:11,454 --> 01:46:16,116 # Love let us see # 1438 01:46:17,460 --> 01:46:22,205 # How far we'll go # 1439 01:46:23,382 --> 01:46:27,001 # How good we'll be # 1440 01:46:29,639 --> 01:46:32,640 # We saw a world # 1441 01:46:34,143 --> 01:46:40,182 # No one ever saw before # 1442 01:46:40,274 --> 01:46:44,058 # It was the world # 1443 01:46:44,153 --> 01:46:47,439 # Love can start # 1444 01:46:47,532 --> 01:46:52,240 # With a beat of a heart # 1445 01:46:52,328 --> 01:46:56,492 # Love came for me # 1446 01:47:21,983 --> 01:47:26,063 # I saw stars # 1447 01:47:27,155 --> 01:47:33,109 # Shining in clear blue skies # 1448 01:47:33,202 --> 01:47:36,536 # We flowed together # 1449 01:47:38,958 --> 01:47:43,667 # Once and forever # 1450 01:47:44,881 --> 01:47:48,878 # Love came for me # 1451 01:47:50,803 --> 01:47:54,468 # One fine night # 1452 01:47:56,559 --> 01:48:00,391 # Love let us see # 1453 01:48:02,440 --> 01:48:05,939 # How far we'll go # 1454 01:48:08,237 --> 01:48:12,401 # How good we'll be # 1455 01:48:14,243 --> 01:48:18,905 # We saw a world # 1456 01:48:18,998 --> 01:48:25,665 # No one ever saw before # 1457 01:48:25,755 --> 01:48:29,088 # It was the world # 1458 01:48:29,175 --> 01:48:32,626 # Love can start # 1459 01:48:32,720 --> 01:48:37,631 # With a beat of a heart # 1460 01:48:37,725 --> 01:48:41,723 # Love came for me # 1461 01:48:43,314 --> 01:48:48,142 # Love came for me # 1462 01:48:49,237 --> 01:48:53,566 # Love came for me ## 101779