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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,167 Hello? 2 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,625 You've had an accident. 3 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,083 You need an ambulance. 4 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:16,208 I'll call for one. I'll be right back. 5 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:19,542 - Lie still here. - No. 6 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,208 No. 7 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,500 No what? 8 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,875 I don't need an ambulance. 9 00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,958 I can clearly see you do. 10 00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:31,083 I'll call for one. 11 00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:32,792 In that case, I'll be up and gone 12 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,250 before you have time to come back. 13 00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:39,375 That will hurt. 14 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:43,292 That's possible. But it doesn't matter to me. 15 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:50,417 I assume you don't want me to call the police either. 16 00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:54,583 Yes, that's exactly right. 17 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,292 Is there anything you want? 18 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:14,708 I'd like a cup of tea with some milk. 19 00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,750 Well... 20 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:24,750 You have to come with me. 21 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,333 I don't serve tea in the street. 22 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:32,250 Can you walk? 23 00:07:33,042 --> 00:07:34,333 Yeah. 24 00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,250 I've even bought a cake. 25 00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,958 Here's a pajama. 26 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,708 Thank you. 27 00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,000 I've made up the bed for you. 28 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,083 With clean sheets. 29 00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,500 - Sorry. - That's okay. 30 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,750 There. 31 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:30,917 - I'll wash your clothes. - Not my coat. 32 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,458 It smells rather badly. 33 00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:36,292 It's my coat. 34 00:08:37,042 --> 00:08:39,042 The smell won't come off anyway. 35 00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:41,917 It's your coat. 36 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,417 - Do you take sugar? - No, thank you. 37 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,917 There you go. 38 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,458 Thank you. 39 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,083 So what happened? 40 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,833 Were you robbed? 41 00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:13,083 It's my own fault. 42 00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:16,792 I'm just a bad human being. 43 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,500 I've never met a bad human being. 44 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,000 Well, you have now. 45 00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:27,167 Do you want to talk about it? 46 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,083 You wouldn't understand. 47 00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,333 Well, try me. 48 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,125 But I wouldn't know where to start. 49 00:09:47,958 --> 00:09:51,750 Why is that ridiculous fishhook hanging there? 50 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,000 That's a fly. 51 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,500 I caught a fish with it once, a rather big one. 52 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,417 Strangely enough. 53 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,167 Fly fishing is about tying feathers 54 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,042 and other things to a hook 55 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:11,250 so it resembles something the fish likes to eat. 56 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:14,375 And then because the fly is very light, 57 00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,917 you have to have a line that is heavy. 58 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,208 It creates the velocity when you cast. 59 00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:35,208 - You fish a lot? - Well, some. 60 00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,500 But I don't catch much. 61 00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:42,750 The locals catch a lot more. 62 00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:46,875 When I was young, I... I had a book I... 63 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,375 I worshipped. 64 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,042 It was an old book by Izaak Walton 65 00:10:57,042 --> 00:10:58,542 called "The Complete Angler." 66 00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,292 It was like a romantic nature bible to me. 67 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,375 Maybe I know where to start. 68 00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:26,125 But if you're to understand, I'll... 69 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:29,125 I'll have to tell you the whole story. 70 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,000 And it'll be long. 71 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,042 Long is good. 72 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,958 And moral, I'm afraid. 73 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,167 To begin with the bait, 74 00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:55,125 I discovered my cunt as a two-year-old. 75 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:58,667 "Cunt" is a very strong word. 76 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,208 Let's call it "Pandora's Box" then. 77 00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:06,333 Um... No, no, no. "Cunt" is better. 78 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:09,833 So, I was a nymphomaniac. 79 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:12,458 Wait a moment, no. Nobody can be a nymphomaniac 80 00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,083 when they're only two years old. 81 00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,708 I don't think even the strictest God 82 00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:19,333 would see anything else than a child's normal behavior. 83 00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:22,500 What about fetuses? It's common knowledge 84 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:25,542 that fetuses often touch their genital organs. 85 00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:29,042 Can a fetus somehow be sinful? 86 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,125 Why not? 87 00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,458 Not according to any religion I know, 88 00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:37,083 unless it's an original sin. 89 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,458 Ancestral. 90 00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:44,833 Or perhaps according to a religion that doesn't exist yet. 91 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:49,125 According to a god that hasn't yet manifested himself. 92 00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,500 But then you can imagine anything. 93 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,917 At an early age, I was mechanically inclined. 94 00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:04,708 Kinetic energy, for example, has always fascinated me. 95 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:08,917 And my friend, let's call her "B," 96 00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:11,083 always came up with the ideas. 97 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:16,167 Playing frogs was one of B's classics. 98 00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,375 Joe, are you all right? 99 00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:44,250 Just a moment. 100 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,833 Are you done? 101 00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,125 For Christ's sakes, leave them alone. 102 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,542 I loved my father very much. 103 00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:05,917 He was a doctor. 104 00:14:06,917 --> 00:14:09,458 My mother's name was Katherine. 105 00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,500 My father called her Kay. 106 00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:16,833 I suppose she was what you'd call "a cold bitch." 107 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:21,542 She always had her back turned when she played solitaire. 108 00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,333 I hated solitaire. 109 00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:32,875 When we had P.E., I'd climb up into the ropes 110 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:37,250 and hang there for ages with the rope between my legs. 111 00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:40,917 "The Sensation" we called it. 112 00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:45,125 I remember very distinctly this word, "sensation." 113 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:55,458 Perhaps the only difference between me and other people 114 00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:59,250 was that I've always demanded more from the sunset. 115 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:04,917 More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. 116 00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:09,333 That's perhaps my only sin. 117 00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:15,375 Why are you insisting that children are sinful? 118 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,042 Not children. 119 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,958 Me. 120 00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:22,333 I don't see sin anywhere. 121 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,958 But then I'm not religious. 122 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:28,042 Well, that's because you don't know the rest of the story. 123 00:15:28,042 --> 00:15:30,167 And by the way, I'm not religious either. 124 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,667 Why would you take the most unsympathetic aspect 125 00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:37,083 of religion such as the concept of sin... 126 00:15:38,042 --> 00:15:40,708 and let it survive beyond religion? 127 00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:47,000 I don't understand this self-hatred. 128 00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:49,458 Well, that's what I said. 129 00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:51,917 - You wouldn't understand. - No, I'm... 130 00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:54,875 I'm sorry, I'll shut up. 131 00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:58,292 Please continue. 132 00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:16,250 Nervus... pudendus. 133 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:25,333 Nervus dorsalis clitoridis. 134 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,875 When the ash tree was created, 135 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,583 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous. 136 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:21,042 It was the most beautiful tree. 137 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,292 You couldn't say anything bad about it. 138 00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:31,333 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology. 139 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,083 Remember, Odin... 140 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:37,583 He hung from the ash tree, Yggdrasil, for nine days 141 00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,292 in order to gain insight. 142 00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:43,958 The ash tree had the strongest wood. 143 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,250 Then in the winter... 144 00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:55,792 when the ash tree lost all of its leaves... 145 00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:01,625 all the trees noticed its black buds, 146 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,458 and started laughing. 147 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,542 "Oh, look. 148 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:09,333 The ash tree has had its fingers in the ashes." 149 00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:13,208 See? 150 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:17,250 You can always tell the ash tree in winter 151 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,333 by the black buds. 152 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,875 Now... 153 00:18:32,292 --> 00:18:35,542 Now this is a lime tree leaf. 154 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:38,833 - Remember? - I forgot about the lime tree. 155 00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:40,958 I've told you 100 times. 156 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:44,458 My dad loved telling me about the trees, 157 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,958 and their leaves, and considered it 158 00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:48,875 part of a good education. 159 00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:54,042 He especially loved the childish educational stories he told 160 00:18:54,042 --> 00:18:56,833 to help me remember what I had learned. 161 00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:00,583 I knew how much he loved telling those stories. 162 00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:03,875 Sometimes I pretended I'd forgotten them. 163 00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:09,625 Originally, the lime tree's leaves were round. 164 00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:13,333 A fox had her den beneath its roots 165 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:15,000 where she had four cubs. 166 00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:18,625 One day, she went out looking for food for them. 167 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,708 There was a hunt in the forest. She was shot. 168 00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:25,750 Wounded, she crawled back to the den 169 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,042 where she and the four cubs died. 170 00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,000 This made the lime tree so sad. 171 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,000 And from then on, 172 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,250 the lime tree decided to have... 173 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,708 heart-shaped leaves. 174 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,958 Oh, yes, that's right. Heart-shaped. 175 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,542 Am I boring you? 176 00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,042 No, no. I'm just looking forward 177 00:19:58,042 --> 00:20:00,667 to how you'll get fishing weaved into your tale. 178 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:04,750 You could start with the fly on the wall there. 179 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,458 It's called a nymph. 180 00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:09,208 It will tie in elegantly with your discussion 181 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:14,333 about nymphomania. A nymph is an early stage 182 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,167 in the life of an insect. 183 00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:20,625 As a quite young nymph, 184 00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:24,667 it was imperative for me to get rid of my virginity. 185 00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:26,708 Hopla. 186 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,042 I kind of knew this boy, J, 187 00:20:30,042 --> 00:20:32,125 who had a moped. 188 00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:35,042 So in my eyes he was rather sophisticated. 189 00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:38,125 I was 15, 190 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,833 and perhaps my girlish, romantic expectations 191 00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,333 were a bit high. 192 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,167 But he had good, strong hands. 193 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,250 I liked his hands. 194 00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:00,500 Hello? 195 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,083 - Hi. - Hi. 196 00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:20,375 If I asked you to take my virginity would that be a problem? 197 00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,250 No, I don't see a problem. 198 00:21:28,792 --> 00:21:30,083 So, um... 199 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,208 Where shall I go? 200 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,125 It's the fucking carburetor. 201 00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:09,250 I just can't work it out, you imagine that? 202 00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:14,292 - That's not very good. - Hmm? 203 00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:16,375 - It's not very good. - No, it bloody isn't. 204 00:22:16,375 --> 00:22:18,417 Ruins the whole idea of having a moped. 205 00:22:21,917 --> 00:22:24,375 You should probably take off your knickers, yeah? 206 00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:13,083 He shoved his cock inside me and humped me three times. 207 00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:24,917 Then he turned me over like a sack of potatoes. 208 00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:35,583 Then he humped me five times in the ass. 209 00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:45,417 I never forgot those two humiliating numbers. 210 00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:49,292 Three and five? 211 00:24:49,292 --> 00:24:50,875 Those are Fibonacci numbers. 212 00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:56,458 That may be. 213 00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:58,542 In any case, it hurt like hell. 214 00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:02,458 I swore I'd never sleep with anyone again. 215 00:25:02,458 --> 00:25:05,792 But of course that only lasted a short while. 216 00:25:06,292 --> 00:25:09,250 And now to get back to your fishing. 217 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:12,250 A couple of years later, 218 00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,500 I was at my friend B's, 219 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:17,208 and as always, she had a new idea, 220 00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:20,708 financed by her younger brother's piggy banks 221 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,750 which she regularly emptied. 222 00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:30,167 We put on clothes later known as 223 00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,167 the "fuck me now" clothes. 224 00:25:34,208 --> 00:25:37,125 The idea was a competition. 225 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:39,792 We were to go on a train trip. 226 00:25:39,792 --> 00:25:42,667 B said there was no need for tickets. 227 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:45,875 The one who would fuck the most men 228 00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:48,208 when we reached the destination 229 00:25:48,208 --> 00:25:50,250 would win the chocolate sweets. 230 00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:54,750 "Born To Be Wild") # 231 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,333 May I interrupt here? 232 00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:19,500 What you were doing when you walked down that corridor. 233 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,583 You were reading the river. 234 00:26:35,042 --> 00:26:38,708 Most of the large fish stay sheltered from the current 235 00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:41,083 to save energy, and to hide from the prey. 236 00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:43,750 Where the fish hides in the stream 237 00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,875 entails a very complicated hierarchy. 238 00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:51,375 The topography decides where the most attractive places are, 239 00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:53,667 and the biggest fish choose the best positions. 240 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:03,917 What do I do? 241 00:27:03,917 --> 00:27:06,292 Smile and make eye contact. 242 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,333 But what if it doesn't work? 243 00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:11,833 If you have to talk, remember to ask lots of "wh" questions 244 00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:13,583 if you want more than a yes or no answer. 245 00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,042 Then it'll just happen on its own. 246 00:27:15,042 --> 00:27:18,500 You just take them to the lavatory and you have sex with them. 247 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,875 Oh. What if it's nasty? 248 00:27:21,875 --> 00:27:24,417 Then you just think of the bag of chocolate sweeties. 249 00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:59,750 What... What time is it? 250 00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:03,125 Ten. 251 00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:20,458 Where do you come from? 252 00:28:21,875 --> 00:28:23,250 From home. 253 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,292 Who knows where the lavatory is? 254 00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:36,833 Well, if you take a right, you will arrive at a lavatory 255 00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:38,458 at the end of the car. 256 00:28:38,458 --> 00:28:41,583 At the same time it is so cleverly arranged 257 00:28:41,583 --> 00:28:46,333 that if you take a left turn you will also arrive at a lavatory 258 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:49,083 since at the end of the next car there is also one. 259 00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:09,917 Let me show you where the lavatory is. 260 00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,250 It turned out to be shockingly easy. 261 00:29:45,042 --> 00:29:48,750 In no time, B was ahead five to three. 262 00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:50,458 And it was exactly right. 263 00:29:50,458 --> 00:29:52,917 Look them in the eye and smile. 264 00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:56,500 But then suddenly, it stopped. 265 00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,792 That's a very clear parallel to fishing in the stream. 266 00:30:00,625 --> 00:30:04,458 As it happens, either none of the fish are feeding, 267 00:30:04,458 --> 00:30:06,167 or they all feed at the same time. 268 00:30:06,167 --> 00:30:09,917 They go into feeding frenzy. All bite. 269 00:30:09,917 --> 00:30:12,667 And then just as suddenly as it started, it stops. 270 00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:18,000 It's observable, but it's highly unpredictable. 271 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,583 And it has to do with, I don't know, 272 00:30:20,583 --> 00:30:23,458 weather, barometric pressure, 273 00:30:23,458 --> 00:30:29,000 maybe some fish psychology. If that's possible. 274 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,042 Anyway, the fish most readily bite at the beginning of a light rain, 275 00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:35,583 and I think that's because they feel safe 276 00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:37,792 when they swim in the stream. 277 00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:39,833 Because they can't be seen from above. 278 00:30:39,833 --> 00:30:42,125 The water's surface is disturbed. 279 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,625 But then it started again. 280 00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:49,292 Although, a bit more slowly. 281 00:30:49,292 --> 00:30:52,042 Yeah. I think I know how. 282 00:30:52,042 --> 00:30:55,375 Because fly fishing can be done in several phases. 283 00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:59,750 And if the fish stop biting, you move on to phase two. 284 00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:03,208 And in phase two, you not only imitate an insect, 285 00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:05,667 but an insect in trouble. 286 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,667 You pull... You pull the line. 287 00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:12,833 You tug it irregularly, so the fish gets the impression 288 00:31:12,833 --> 00:31:15,875 that it's dealing with an injured and easy prey. 289 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,125 And then helplessly, let the fly float down the river again. 290 00:31:21,125 --> 00:31:24,875 Then half-heartedly, make a few jumps forward again. 291 00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:30,667 It can be done... It can be done very elegantly. 292 00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:45,542 Hey. 293 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:47,708 Sorry. 294 00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:50,750 Nothing to feel sorry about. 295 00:31:52,167 --> 00:31:54,625 I'm just not feeling very well today. 296 00:31:55,375 --> 00:31:57,208 What could be so bad? 297 00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:00,292 Oh, thank you. 298 00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:05,542 I can't talk about it right now. 299 00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:08,042 Can I just sit here for awhile? 300 00:32:09,167 --> 00:32:11,125 Yeah. Sure. 301 00:32:16,792 --> 00:32:18,542 Is it better now? 302 00:32:18,542 --> 00:32:20,208 No. 303 00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:35,458 - Are you all right? - It's Betty. 304 00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:39,667 I was just told that she's very ill. 305 00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:42,583 Is Betty a close family member? 306 00:32:45,292 --> 00:32:47,708 You could say that. 307 00:32:47,708 --> 00:32:50,042 She's my dwarf hamster. 308 00:32:50,042 --> 00:32:53,875 Dwarf hamster? You can't be serious. 309 00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:56,083 Well, what was I to do? 310 00:32:56,083 --> 00:32:59,875 And then, I did have a dwarf hamster when I was young. 311 00:32:59,875 --> 00:33:02,042 That you were very close to? 312 00:33:02,042 --> 00:33:04,750 Not at all. A bloody nuisance. 313 00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:07,667 Dwarf hamster? That's not so bad. 314 00:33:09,417 --> 00:33:11,625 Would have been worse if it were a person. 315 00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,750 Don't say that. 316 00:33:13,750 --> 00:33:17,000 I'm extremely fond of my hamster. 317 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,417 Yes, I think that's a rather cynical thing to say about Betty. 318 00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:25,542 Yes, I made the cage nice and cozy for her when... 319 00:33:25,542 --> 00:33:27,917 - When I got her. - I bet she liked that. 320 00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:30,750 Betty was excited. 321 00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:35,708 One of nature's most meaningless creatures. 322 00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:39,042 You're aware that the choice of a dwarf hamster 323 00:33:39,042 --> 00:33:42,542 possibly suggests certain sexual connotations. 324 00:33:42,542 --> 00:33:43,958 I can see that now 325 00:33:43,958 --> 00:33:46,875 but it was really not a conscious choice. 326 00:33:48,042 --> 00:33:51,458 How long does a dwarf hamster actually live? 327 00:33:51,458 --> 00:33:53,542 Months, years? 328 00:33:54,417 --> 00:33:56,417 Its life is much too short. 329 00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:07,292 Would you show me where the lavatory is? 330 00:34:08,458 --> 00:34:11,417 I... have to blow my nose. 331 00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:33,083 Just the same, we were running out of subjects, 332 00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:35,792 and B was ahead on points, 333 00:34:35,792 --> 00:34:39,417 which led us to S's first-class compartment. 334 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,333 Tickets, please. 335 00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,667 Thank you. Ladies? 336 00:34:55,333 --> 00:34:56,333 Tickets. 337 00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:08,875 Well... 338 00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:12,667 I think I might have lost it. 339 00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:14,333 Perhaps. 340 00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,750 Drop yours as well, did you? 341 00:35:18,375 --> 00:35:21,708 I haven't bought a ticket for your shitty train. 342 00:35:22,333 --> 00:35:24,458 It's so bloody slow, we should have been 343 00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:26,333 at the end of the track half an hour ago. 344 00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:29,208 Regardless of delays, you still need a ticket, sweetheart. 345 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,625 Eight pounds each, please. 346 00:35:33,750 --> 00:35:35,917 Ooh! 347 00:35:35,917 --> 00:35:39,042 I accidentally tore it up. 348 00:35:39,042 --> 00:35:41,583 Can't expect me to pay for scraps of paper. 349 00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:44,458 - Have another one. - Oh, great idea. 350 00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:47,167 Oh, that one's disappeared too. 351 00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:48,667 I can always just get the police 352 00:35:48,667 --> 00:35:50,833 to collect your payment at the next station... 353 00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:53,375 Let's just take it easy here, shall we? 354 00:35:53,375 --> 00:35:56,250 Apparently, the young ladies have left without any money. 355 00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:58,208 If it's okay with you, I'd like to pay for their tickets. 356 00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:01,167 No, sir, it's not. Leave your money where it is. 357 00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:02,958 We'll let the police deal with these two. 358 00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:04,667 We did have sort of an agreement 359 00:36:04,667 --> 00:36:06,667 that I was to pay. I just forgot about it. 360 00:36:10,333 --> 00:36:14,208 I see. Two first-class tickets... 361 00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:16,667 for two first-class ladies. 362 00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:20,208 Enjoy the rest of your journey. 363 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,167 Tickets, please. 364 00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:35,750 Now that you've been so nice to us... 365 00:36:37,792 --> 00:36:40,375 we'd like to be nice to you, too. 366 00:36:40,375 --> 00:36:42,833 Oh, that's very kind of you, but there's no need. 367 00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:49,042 I mean that. 368 00:36:53,333 --> 00:36:55,542 You have to split them up into whether they have 369 00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,667 a goal and a mission or not. 370 00:36:58,792 --> 00:37:00,083 That one doesn't. 371 00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:02,708 Well, I've already lost anyway. 372 00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:08,375 I'm willing to give you five extra points... 373 00:37:10,958 --> 00:37:13,208 if you can get that one in there. 374 00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:18,458 I decided, perhaps a bit desperately, 375 00:37:18,458 --> 00:37:20,708 that the only thing standing between me 376 00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:22,625 and the bag of chocolate sweets, 377 00:37:22,625 --> 00:37:27,083 was an unequivocal provocation of this man. 378 00:37:27,083 --> 00:37:30,500 Excellent. An induced take. 379 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:33,708 When all other attempts fail, a dramatic provocation 380 00:37:33,708 --> 00:37:37,417 can get an otherwise completely passive fish to bite. 381 00:37:37,417 --> 00:37:39,292 A salmon or a trout, for example, 382 00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:41,875 eats itself fat while in salt water, 383 00:37:41,875 --> 00:37:43,958 and then basically has no need to eat 384 00:37:43,958 --> 00:37:47,875 as it makes its way upstream to the spawning grounds. 385 00:37:47,875 --> 00:37:50,250 They're not hungry but they will react instinctively 386 00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,000 to the right provocation. 387 00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:54,875 Which would not be a fly, but for instance, 388 00:37:54,875 --> 00:37:58,583 a brightly colored wobbler, preferably red, 389 00:37:58,583 --> 00:38:01,500 served immediately in front of the fish. 390 00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:05,000 The very best is one we call the Finnish Weapon. 391 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,875 The so-called "Rappala." 392 00:38:09,792 --> 00:38:11,667 I don't know if it's comparable, 393 00:38:11,667 --> 00:38:14,708 but I decided in any case to find out 394 00:38:14,708 --> 00:38:16,792 why he hadn't taken the bait, 395 00:38:16,792 --> 00:38:19,333 and to use my psychological abilities, 396 00:38:19,333 --> 00:38:23,250 which B, in my opinion, didn't possess to the same degree. 397 00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:26,667 You've bought a gift. 398 00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:29,208 Yes. 399 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:32,417 It's for my wife. 400 00:38:33,917 --> 00:38:37,917 - No gifts for the children? - No. 401 00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:41,208 We don't have any, actually. 402 00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:45,167 Well, you seem rather well-to-do. 403 00:38:46,917 --> 00:38:51,792 You travel first-class, and you bought us our tickets. 404 00:38:51,792 --> 00:38:55,833 Why then not buy a decent gift for your wife? 405 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:58,583 I can see it comes from the station. 406 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,667 Of course I should have... 407 00:39:06,667 --> 00:39:08,917 bought her something... 408 00:39:08,917 --> 00:39:10,625 something better, but... 409 00:39:11,792 --> 00:39:14,833 Let's just say I was suddenly in a hurry to get home. 410 00:39:15,833 --> 00:39:18,708 Why would a man like you 411 00:39:18,708 --> 00:39:21,833 with such an orderly life suddenly have to hurry? 412 00:39:25,583 --> 00:39:27,500 It has to do with family. 413 00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:32,625 My wife and I have decided that we... 414 00:39:35,583 --> 00:39:37,917 we miss having children, after all. 415 00:39:38,583 --> 00:39:41,375 And that if we are to have children, it has to be now. 416 00:39:44,167 --> 00:39:46,458 So my wife called yesterday to say that she... 417 00:39:47,833 --> 00:39:49,292 She started ovulating. 418 00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:55,542 And all signs point to maximum fertility precisely tonight. 419 00:39:56,625 --> 00:39:57,708 You see? 420 00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:01,375 That's why I bought her a gift at the station. 421 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:04,083 I had to get a ticket home as quickly as possible. 422 00:40:05,875 --> 00:40:10,917 - Well, I understand now. - What is it you understand? 423 00:40:10,917 --> 00:40:13,333 Why you didn't have sex with us. 424 00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:19,708 It wasn't because I didn't want to. 425 00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:23,708 So you've been saving your sperm. 426 00:40:23,708 --> 00:40:28,583 For weeks. I mean, you and your wife are... 427 00:40:28,583 --> 00:40:31,917 seem to be at an age where every attempt 428 00:40:31,917 --> 00:40:36,167 to become pregnant has to be taken very seriously. 429 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:40,125 Right now, my... 430 00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:46,250 My sperm quality is at its peak, I'm told. 431 00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:02,292 Please... 432 00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:08,583 I'm begging you, please don't. 433 00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:10,375 It's okay. 434 00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:12,958 Please don't. 435 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,875 You've been as horny as hell. 436 00:41:18,917 --> 00:41:20,875 But you wouldn't give up your load. 437 00:41:21,625 --> 00:41:22,875 Please don't. 438 00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:34,667 Oh, fuck. 439 00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:15,833 Wow. 440 00:42:28,375 --> 00:42:32,250 In your case, it wasn't the taste of a Madeleine cake, 441 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:34,125 moistened with lime blossom tea, 442 00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:37,167 but the combination of chocolate and sperm. 443 00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:39,292 What? 444 00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:44,917 That was a piece of culturally blasphemic digression. 445 00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:48,792 It's a story about memory. 446 00:42:48,792 --> 00:42:50,833 How the combination of two flavors 447 00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:52,917 set off a chain of memories. 448 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:59,750 So oral sex became, in the eye of the angler, 449 00:42:59,750 --> 00:43:04,542 your... your Finnish weapon. 450 00:43:04,542 --> 00:43:06,542 Is that your only comment? 451 00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,583 What else... What else do you want me to say? 452 00:43:12,542 --> 00:43:14,542 That I behaved reprehensibly. 453 00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:18,083 That already my actions exemplify 454 00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:21,125 that I'm a... I'm a terrible human being. 455 00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:24,667 That's not the way I see it. 456 00:43:24,667 --> 00:43:27,250 On the contrary, I saw it as a... 457 00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,792 A very pleasurable and humorous story. 458 00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:34,333 Not at all sad, or... or weighed down by sin. 459 00:43:34,958 --> 00:43:36,500 Like all that talk about Pandora's Box. 460 00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:40,542 I've consciously used and hurt others... 461 00:43:40,542 --> 00:43:43,375 for the sake of my own satisfaction. 462 00:43:44,208 --> 00:43:47,000 And what I've told you so far only begins to suggest that. 463 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,792 But when you told the story, you were cheerful. 464 00:43:49,792 --> 00:43:51,042 Full of humor. 465 00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:55,417 It wasn't as if you embarked on some tragic tale. 466 00:43:55,417 --> 00:43:57,500 Well, that's the way I am. 467 00:43:59,667 --> 00:44:03,208 I've always loved the chills at the start of a fever, 468 00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:06,500 knowing only too well that sickness will soon follow. 469 00:44:13,250 --> 00:44:15,333 The only thing you've done, 470 00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:18,375 except giving a few people an experience to remember, 471 00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:19,875 is that you... 472 00:44:19,875 --> 00:44:22,333 You relieved S from his load 473 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,417 in some... some youthful hubris. 474 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:30,667 I read somewhere that if you keep the load too long 475 00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:32,167 the sperm will die. 476 00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:34,417 Or worse, degenerate. 477 00:44:35,750 --> 00:44:38,167 Maybe thanks to you, Mr. S and his wife 478 00:44:38,167 --> 00:44:40,625 now have a healthy and well-functioning child. 479 00:44:42,542 --> 00:44:45,292 I discovered my power as a woman 480 00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:47,750 and used it without any concern for others. 481 00:44:48,750 --> 00:44:50,375 That's completely unacceptable. 482 00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:52,667 Oh, little darling... 483 00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:54,292 Don't you "little darling" me. 484 00:44:57,292 --> 00:44:58,042 No. 485 00:45:01,042 --> 00:45:02,958 What I wanted to say was that 486 00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,708 if you have wings, why not fly? 487 00:45:07,292 --> 00:45:08,500 Allow me to digress. 488 00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:11,917 I read a book about Sikorski and helicopters 489 00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,833 where the author stressed the fact that 490 00:45:13,833 --> 00:45:17,292 in order to take off, you tilt the helicopter forward. 491 00:45:17,292 --> 00:45:19,375 It looks like you're trying to force the helicopter 492 00:45:19,375 --> 00:45:23,667 down into the ground, but the effect is the contrary. 493 00:45:23,667 --> 00:45:25,708 That the velocity takes the helicopter 494 00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:29,542 and sweeps it up in the air. 495 00:45:29,542 --> 00:45:32,375 The pilots say the helicopter wants to fly. 496 00:45:34,208 --> 00:45:36,375 It's like when you're in a glider plane, 497 00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:39,375 and suddenly you're lifted, 498 00:45:39,375 --> 00:45:43,208 because of the spontaneous emission of thermals. 499 00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:48,500 Thermals is when the sun is warming up the field, 500 00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:52,625 and it emits a thermal bubble of warm air that rises. 501 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,917 These aircraft, they want to fly. 502 00:45:55,917 --> 00:45:58,167 It's just a little unpredictable when. 503 00:46:00,375 --> 00:46:02,958 You flew on that... on that train. 504 00:46:04,333 --> 00:46:06,625 And that surprised you. 505 00:46:41,583 --> 00:46:43,208 No more stories. 506 00:46:45,542 --> 00:46:47,125 You need to sleep. 507 00:46:47,792 --> 00:46:49,167 No, no. 508 00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:52,000 This is beginning to amuse me. 509 00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,583 I don't even know your name. 510 00:47:02,292 --> 00:47:03,583 My name is Joe. 511 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,542 I'm Seligman. 512 00:47:08,208 --> 00:47:10,250 What a fucking ridiculous name. 513 00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:14,167 It's Jewish. 514 00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:16,958 You said you weren't religious. 515 00:47:16,958 --> 00:47:19,417 No, but my great-grandfather was. 516 00:47:19,417 --> 00:47:22,500 And my parents gave me the name as a sort of... 517 00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:25,958 sentimental association to Judaism. 518 00:47:29,917 --> 00:47:34,958 Why let the sentimental part of religion, as you said, 519 00:47:34,958 --> 00:47:38,000 outlive religion itself? 520 00:47:41,375 --> 00:47:42,792 You have a point. 521 00:47:45,667 --> 00:47:48,708 But we've always been anti-Zionists, 522 00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:52,583 which is not the same as being anti-Semitic, 523 00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:56,500 as certain political powers try to convince us. 524 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,917 Seligman... 525 00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:02,500 means "the happy one." 526 00:48:05,792 --> 00:48:07,458 So, are you happy then? 527 00:48:10,458 --> 00:48:12,208 Well, I suppose I am. 528 00:48:14,167 --> 00:48:15,792 In my own way. 529 00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:17,875 Even if I'm the kind of person 530 00:48:17,875 --> 00:48:20,208 who cut the nails of the right hand first. 531 00:48:20,208 --> 00:48:21,625 What does that mean? 532 00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:24,833 Well, I divide humanity into two groups: 533 00:48:24,833 --> 00:48:27,792 the people who cut the nails on the left hand first, 534 00:48:27,792 --> 00:48:30,750 and the people who cut the nails of the right hand first. 535 00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,708 My theory is that the people who cut the nails 536 00:48:33,708 --> 00:48:37,042 of the left hand first, they're more light-hearted. 537 00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:39,458 They have a tendency to enjoy life more, 538 00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:42,958 because they go straight for the easiest task, and... 539 00:48:43,667 --> 00:48:46,458 save the difficulties for later. 540 00:48:52,292 --> 00:48:56,583 - So what do you do? - Always the left hand first. 541 00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:58,417 I don't think there's a choice. 542 00:48:59,167 --> 00:49:02,542 Go for the pleasure first, always. 543 00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:05,792 And then when you've done the left hand, 544 00:49:05,792 --> 00:49:07,500 only the right hand remains. 545 00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:10,792 That's the easiest one left. 546 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,208 I never thought of it like that. 547 00:49:23,042 --> 00:49:24,958 Well, you're never too old. 548 00:49:25,792 --> 00:49:27,083 Never too old to learn. 549 00:49:35,583 --> 00:49:37,917 That's rugelach. 550 00:49:37,917 --> 00:49:40,417 Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a Jewish cake. 551 00:49:40,417 --> 00:49:44,000 - There's that sentimentality again. - Oh, but it's more than rugelach. 552 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,667 It's rugelach served with a cake fork. 553 00:49:48,208 --> 00:49:51,375 A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry, 554 00:49:51,375 --> 00:49:54,542 which there is no excuse for eating with a cake fork. 555 00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:58,500 To serve it with a cake fork is irritatingly unmanly, 556 00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:01,333 not to say downright feminine. 557 00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:07,250 However, it can bring us further with the story. 558 00:50:08,708 --> 00:50:13,750 I also knew someone who consumed rugelach every day, 559 00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,542 almost ritually, with a cake fork. 560 00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:20,042 And although we'll be jumping a bit in time, 561 00:50:21,917 --> 00:50:24,083 I have to tell you about Jerome. 562 00:50:24,792 --> 00:50:26,583 As far as I can see, the next chapter 563 00:50:26,583 --> 00:50:29,250 doesn't contain as direct an accusation 564 00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:32,875 against my person as the rest of the story. 565 00:50:32,875 --> 00:50:35,833 But as you've read a great deal, apparently, 566 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,458 you know that in a story things have to be good 567 00:50:38,458 --> 00:50:40,250 before they can be bad. 568 00:50:44,417 --> 00:50:48,375 The chapter will also make a sentimental soul like you happy 569 00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:52,958 as it contains observations on the subject of love. 570 00:52:11,167 --> 00:52:13,083 Can I tell you something? 571 00:52:15,167 --> 00:52:17,250 Sure. 572 00:52:18,042 --> 00:52:20,417 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure. 573 00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,292 It might not be important to you... 574 00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:24,958 But it is to me. 575 00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:28,667 I've never had an orgasm before. 576 00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,000 Really? 577 00:52:38,458 --> 00:52:40,000 You're my first one. 578 00:52:42,792 --> 00:52:44,542 You don't know how happy that makes me. 579 00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:50,333 I love you. 580 00:52:55,625 --> 00:52:57,500 You're my first. 581 00:53:01,958 --> 00:53:03,500 Well, I have to admit, 582 00:53:04,208 --> 00:53:05,958 quite a lot of girls say that. 583 00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:12,042 The train trip had increased my appetite, 584 00:53:12,042 --> 00:53:14,583 and soon B and I started a club 585 00:53:14,583 --> 00:53:17,292 that we called "The Little Flock." 586 00:53:18,750 --> 00:53:22,250 Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva. 587 00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:23,625 B, of course, took the lead 588 00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:25,417 as she was the most daring of us. 589 00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:29,167 She was raised Catholic. I'm sure you're familiar 590 00:53:29,167 --> 00:53:32,083 with the practices of the Catholic Church. 591 00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:36,375 ...mea maxima vulva. Mea vulva, mea... 592 00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:38,000 That's interesting. 593 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,083 Blasphemic, satanic. 594 00:53:42,583 --> 00:53:46,542 The music. The interval between "B" and "F." 595 00:53:46,542 --> 00:53:49,292 It's a tritone. The devil’s interval. 596 00:53:50,458 --> 00:53:52,833 It was banned from music in the Middle Ages. 597 00:53:54,292 --> 00:53:57,000 Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it. 598 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,875 She took piano lessons. 599 00:53:59,708 --> 00:54:01,167 Vacuum Cleaner? 600 00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:05,000 The Vacuum Cleaner possessed a special talent for floppy cocks. 601 00:54:06,333 --> 00:54:09,125 She had some kind of vacuum in her cunt. 602 00:54:09,667 --> 00:54:12,000 I was imagining something like that. 603 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,917 Fourteenth of the eighth. 604 00:54:14,917 --> 00:54:17,625 I was at a place called The Donkey. 605 00:54:17,625 --> 00:54:20,833 The boys were staring, University hangout. 606 00:54:20,833 --> 00:54:22,917 I approached the stupidest one of the lot 607 00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:25,542 and asked for directions to the underground. 608 00:54:25,542 --> 00:54:27,333 He studied literature. 609 00:54:27,875 --> 00:54:31,542 I told him I read a lot, and that I really admired people 610 00:54:31,542 --> 00:54:33,792 that chose to study subjects in depth. 611 00:54:34,875 --> 00:54:37,167 As I said, he was very stupid. 612 00:54:37,167 --> 00:54:38,958 Told me all about Kierkegaard. 613 00:54:38,958 --> 00:54:40,792 I nodded, smiled. 614 00:54:40,792 --> 00:54:42,417 Then he asked if we could go elsewhere. 615 00:54:42,417 --> 00:54:46,000 The idiot thought he'd pulled me after five minutes of his bullshit. 616 00:54:46,583 --> 00:54:48,625 I told him I was on my period, 617 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,667 and I took out his cock and gave him a hand job. 618 00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:57,750 Ugly, little shriveled cock, with a tight foreskin. 619 00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:01,292 When I pulled it back, it sort of collapsed 620 00:55:01,292 --> 00:55:05,417 but it worked in the end. University boys are disgusting. 621 00:55:05,417 --> 00:55:07,792 And then I jacked him off until he shook 622 00:55:07,792 --> 00:55:10,833 in that way they do, you know. Just before they come. 623 00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:13,792 Then I let go of his cock and got up. 624 00:55:13,792 --> 00:55:17,542 I left him standing up against the wall 625 00:55:17,542 --> 00:55:20,958 with his pants round his ankles looking stunned. 626 00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:26,833 Now, B's message wasn't exactly representational. 627 00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:29,125 She just had to be the tough one. 628 00:55:31,042 --> 00:55:32,708 It was directed at the men. 629 00:55:33,917 --> 00:55:37,667 It was about fucking, and about having the right to be horny. 630 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,083 We masturbated together, that kind of thing. 631 00:55:43,667 --> 00:55:45,208 But it was rebellious. 632 00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:49,333 We weren't allowed to have boyfriends. 633 00:55:49,333 --> 00:55:51,792 No fucking the same guy more than once. 634 00:55:52,375 --> 00:55:57,083 You said you were rebellious. What did you rebel against? 635 00:55:57,583 --> 00:55:58,417 Love. 636 00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:01,333 Love? 637 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,750 We were committed to combat the love-fixated society. 638 00:56:25,167 --> 00:56:27,875 I really believed in our Little Flock. 639 00:56:27,875 --> 00:56:30,417 But of course, that was naive of me. 640 00:56:31,042 --> 00:56:34,000 Over time, even the strongest 641 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,542 couldn't stay true to our manifest. 642 00:56:36,542 --> 00:56:40,625 Third of the fifth. My third intercourse this week, 643 00:56:40,625 --> 00:56:42,417 - again with Alex. - Third? 644 00:56:45,125 --> 00:56:48,333 Haven't we stated that we fuck each guy once? 645 00:56:48,333 --> 00:56:50,917 Yes, but he was rather sweet. 646 00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:52,917 Sweet? 647 00:56:53,750 --> 00:56:56,958 - Well, you know, sexy. - Well, then, say sexy. 648 00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,625 He squeezed my earlobes. 649 00:57:00,625 --> 00:57:03,833 Earlobes? Great. What else did he squeeze? 650 00:57:06,958 --> 00:57:10,292 I don't think you can understand Alex. 651 00:57:10,917 --> 00:57:12,500 I don't want to. 652 00:57:12,500 --> 00:57:15,000 - Our relationship-- - Relationship. 653 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,167 There you are. 654 00:57:17,333 --> 00:57:21,042 The way you're describing it, which should be full of lust, 655 00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:24,125 is just a nauseating analysis of his future abilities 656 00:57:24,125 --> 00:57:26,208 as a father to your child. 657 00:57:26,208 --> 00:57:30,042 You think you know everything about sex. 658 00:57:33,958 --> 00:57:37,917 The secret ingredient to sex is love. 659 00:57:43,917 --> 00:57:48,542 For me, love was just lust with jealousy added. 660 00:57:49,333 --> 00:57:51,542 Everything else was total nonsense. 661 00:57:52,250 --> 00:57:56,542 For every 100 crimes committed in the name of love, 662 00:57:56,542 --> 00:57:59,167 only one is committed in the name of sex. 663 00:58:00,792 --> 00:58:02,333 That's quite a statement. 664 00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:06,500 Well, it all strengthened my wish for a serious education. 665 00:58:31,583 --> 00:58:33,542 Glasgow. 666 00:58:37,208 --> 00:58:38,292 Aberdeen. 667 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,750 Why are you smiling? 668 00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:44,833 Well, I just pictured 669 00:58:44,833 --> 00:58:47,833 how an education would be conveyed in your storytelling. 670 00:58:49,042 --> 00:58:50,917 Well, that's nothing to smile about. 671 00:58:51,958 --> 00:58:53,417 Oh, I understand that. 672 00:58:55,042 --> 00:58:57,167 So what kind of education did you get? 673 00:58:58,042 --> 00:59:01,417 I began studying medicine, like my father. 674 00:59:01,417 --> 00:59:05,542 Today we are going to perform the procedure that's called an abortion. 675 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:09,875 We open up our cervical channel to enter the uterus, 676 00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:12,208 and to get access to the fetus, 677 00:59:12,208 --> 00:59:15,500 for which we use the so-called Hegal sticks. 678 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:19,667 We enter the vagina tract, and go into the cervical channel. 679 00:59:20,708 --> 00:59:22,667 We start with a small sized stick 680 00:59:22,667 --> 00:59:25,958 to cause a minimum of damage to the tissue. 681 00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:29,417 And then we increase the size of the stick. 682 00:59:29,417 --> 00:59:32,542 But it was harder and harder for me to concentrate, 683 00:59:32,542 --> 00:59:36,792 so I studied less and less, till finally I dropped out. 684 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,875 My dad was very disappointed when I stopped. 685 00:59:43,792 --> 00:59:46,417 But it was the only time I saw my mother really smile 686 00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:49,417 when she said, "What did I tell you?" 687 00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:55,208 So instead, I began to look for a job. 688 00:59:56,875 --> 00:59:59,708 It turned out it was hard to get a job 689 00:59:59,708 --> 01:00:02,333 that paid even halfway decently. 690 01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:06,750 I didn't really know how to do anything. 691 01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:09,917 So I didn't have high hopes when I applied for a position 692 01:00:09,917 --> 01:00:12,583 as an assistant at a printing house. 693 01:00:13,708 --> 01:00:16,167 So, could you tell me a little bit more 694 01:00:16,167 --> 01:00:19,333 about your background? 695 01:00:19,333 --> 01:00:21,167 Um... 696 01:00:21,167 --> 01:00:24,625 - Education-wise. - Oh. 697 01:00:24,625 --> 01:00:29,958 Well, I finished high school, and decided to study medicine. 698 01:00:30,792 --> 01:00:32,958 But I didn't finish. 699 01:00:32,958 --> 01:00:35,625 I know it sounds a bit pointless coming here. 700 01:00:35,625 --> 01:00:38,208 - Right. - I just really need a job. 701 01:00:38,208 --> 01:00:40,292 And I've tried everywhere. 702 01:00:40,292 --> 01:00:43,917 I don't usually give jobs to people just because they need one. 703 01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:49,958 What about secretarial skills? Do you have any of those? 704 01:00:49,958 --> 01:00:52,542 No, I didn't think you needed skills. 705 01:00:54,333 --> 01:00:57,167 You didn't think you needed skills for this position 706 01:00:57,167 --> 01:00:59,542 - as a secretary? - No. 707 01:01:00,042 --> 01:01:01,875 Can you open an envelope? 708 01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:05,708 Yes, I... Yes, I think I can open an envelope. 709 01:01:05,708 --> 01:01:07,708 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 710 01:01:08,958 --> 01:01:13,500 I shall discuss this conversation with Mr. Jerome, my boss. 711 01:01:16,167 --> 01:01:19,250 Do you think there's a chance? 712 01:01:20,250 --> 01:01:23,250 - I doubt it. - Oh. 713 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:47,458 Well, apparently, having absolutely no experience 714 01:01:48,250 --> 01:01:50,417 is absolutely fine for this job. 715 01:01:50,417 --> 01:01:51,583 You've got it. 716 01:01:54,417 --> 01:01:56,500 Does that mean I should start tomorrow? 717 01:01:57,375 --> 01:01:58,958 Yeah, I suppose it does. 718 01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:03,208 - Good morning. - Right. 719 01:02:10,542 --> 01:02:12,792 Yes? 720 01:02:16,083 --> 01:02:18,042 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 721 01:02:18,042 --> 01:02:20,667 I just wanted to introduce you to our new junior secretary. 722 01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:23,542 Joe? I believe you wanted to explain her work duties. 723 01:02:23,542 --> 01:02:25,208 - Hi. - This is the new junior secretary. 724 01:02:25,208 --> 01:02:26,833 Liz, can I have another coffee? 725 01:02:26,833 --> 01:02:28,125 - Yes, of course, sir. - Thank you. 726 01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:32,333 Hi. 727 01:02:36,458 --> 01:02:39,458 - Jerome. - Your first love. 728 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:48,167 I bet you didn't think I'd make something of myself, right? 729 01:02:48,167 --> 01:02:49,792 And now, here I sit. 730 01:02:49,792 --> 01:02:52,000 The director's chair of M & J Morris, Ltd. 731 01:02:56,333 --> 01:02:58,417 - Yeah, it's quite surprising. - Surprising? 732 01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,750 It's a sign from God. 733 01:03:05,667 --> 01:03:07,500 You know, I've thought about you often since then. 734 01:03:09,292 --> 01:03:10,958 Have you thought of me? 735 01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,125 - Well... - What? 736 01:03:17,042 --> 01:03:19,667 Usually, you know, my uncle sits here. 737 01:03:19,667 --> 01:03:21,292 But he's developed a bit of a tummy problem, 738 01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:23,000 so he's at the spa, taking long baths, 739 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,417 drinking lots of water, poor guy. And no one knows for how long. 740 01:03:26,417 --> 01:03:29,917 So now I'm the "J" in M & J Morris, Ltd. 741 01:03:29,917 --> 01:03:31,708 How about that? 742 01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:34,542 We print cards and envelopes, nonsense like that. 743 01:03:35,375 --> 01:03:37,250 It's a bloody complicated business, you know. 744 01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:38,667 I don't understand a word of it. 745 01:03:39,917 --> 01:03:42,708 Come, I'll show you around. Yes? 746 01:03:42,708 --> 01:03:44,375 - Ladies? - Yes, sir. 747 01:03:44,375 --> 01:03:46,583 Oh, look, there you are. Good job. 748 01:03:46,583 --> 01:03:48,958 Every time you do a good job, I say, "Good job, Liz." 749 01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,792 - Thank you, sir. - What's her name? 750 01:03:50,792 --> 01:03:52,625 - Liz. - Good job, Liz. 751 01:03:52,625 --> 01:03:54,667 - Good job, Liz. - Good job, Liz. 752 01:04:13,542 --> 01:04:15,250 It stopped. 753 01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:16,667 Fuck. 754 01:04:20,208 --> 01:04:21,250 Yes. 755 01:04:23,208 --> 01:04:25,667 - Well, isn't there an alarm? - Which? 756 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,750 - Isn't there... - Alarm, right, yes. 757 01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:31,500 Good thinking. 758 01:04:34,958 --> 01:04:36,042 Imagine... 759 01:04:36,958 --> 01:04:39,375 you look just as great all these years later. 760 01:04:39,917 --> 01:04:41,042 Oh, no. 761 01:04:45,250 --> 01:04:47,708 - No. - No? 762 01:04:49,917 --> 01:04:51,542 No, Jerome, this won't work. 763 01:04:51,542 --> 01:04:54,125 - Which won't work? - This. 764 01:04:56,833 --> 01:04:57,875 Why not? 765 01:04:59,042 --> 01:05:00,417 You're not really my type. 766 01:05:03,083 --> 01:05:04,250 That's how it's gonna be? 767 01:05:05,042 --> 01:05:07,000 - Yes. - All right. 768 01:05:13,625 --> 01:05:14,875 Fuck's sake. 769 01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:25,667 Okay. 770 01:05:35,667 --> 01:05:37,333 Um... 771 01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:38,583 Give me your hand. 772 01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:41,708 We'll do fireman's grip. 773 01:05:43,750 --> 01:05:45,250 - You okay? - Yeah. 774 01:05:48,583 --> 01:05:50,042 Why didn't you have sex with him? 775 01:05:52,208 --> 01:05:54,500 You must have had sex in a lift before. 776 01:05:56,708 --> 01:06:00,667 I'm not quite sure. I've shagged lots of idiots. 777 01:06:00,667 --> 01:06:03,292 Including worse idiots than him. 778 01:06:05,458 --> 01:06:07,042 Of course, I... 779 01:06:07,042 --> 01:06:10,042 I regretted that it had been him back then. 780 01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:13,750 But that's just sentimental drivel. 781 01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:15,042 And I'm not sentimental. 782 01:06:16,333 --> 01:06:18,292 I suppose he fired you then. 783 01:06:18,292 --> 01:06:21,708 No. If he had fired me, then he would have lost. 784 01:06:25,042 --> 01:06:26,792 As I didn't recall anyone 785 01:06:26,792 --> 01:06:28,667 having defined my work duties, 786 01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:32,417 I decided to clean up in order to smooth the waters. 787 01:06:40,292 --> 01:06:41,667 Good morning, sir. 788 01:06:41,667 --> 01:06:43,667 - Any calls? - No, sir. 789 01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:53,958 - What have you done? - Oh. I cleaned up. 790 01:06:54,500 --> 01:06:56,250 You cleaned up. 791 01:06:57,333 --> 01:06:58,917 - It was quite messy, and-- - Liz? 792 01:06:58,917 --> 01:07:01,750 - Yes, sir? - She cleaned up. 793 01:07:02,375 --> 01:07:04,667 I know, I... I didn't know, sir. 794 01:07:04,667 --> 01:07:06,792 - I was away from my desk. - Are you completely mad? 795 01:07:13,667 --> 01:07:15,708 What is the tea and pastry doing here? 796 01:07:16,375 --> 01:07:17,667 I thought that's what you wanted for-- 797 01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:20,958 You thought? You're not supposed to think. 798 01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:23,375 I don't pay you to think, do I? This is a do-over. 799 01:07:23,375 --> 01:07:24,917 - A do-over... - Right. 800 01:07:24,917 --> 01:07:27,667 Pick it up. Take it outside. And do it again. 801 01:07:40,083 --> 01:07:42,333 One moment. 802 01:07:50,708 --> 01:07:52,000 Come in. 803 01:07:55,208 --> 01:07:57,500 Would now be a good time for some tea and cake? 804 01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:58,792 Sure, why not? 805 01:08:01,708 --> 01:08:03,458 Where the fuck's my cake fork? 806 01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:05,375 - Cake fork? - Right. 807 01:08:05,375 --> 01:08:09,917 Well, I would have got you one, but it just... feels inappropriate. 808 01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:29,500 Unmanly. 809 01:08:29,500 --> 01:08:30,958 Feminine. 810 01:08:30,958 --> 01:08:32,917 Well, on the other hand, 811 01:08:32,917 --> 01:08:37,000 you must say that a cake fork is a rather practical tool. 812 01:08:38,917 --> 01:08:42,208 It's like a cross between a knife and a fork. 813 01:08:42,833 --> 01:08:45,000 The point is that you're supposed to be able 814 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000 to hold the cake dish with one hand 815 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:48,667 and then cut it with the other. 816 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,875 And then eat it with the fork. 817 01:08:52,875 --> 01:08:55,750 It's not feminine, it's at least bourgeois. 818 01:08:56,667 --> 01:08:59,125 It's said that the Bolsheviks, 819 01:08:59,125 --> 01:09:01,333 during their rampage through Russia, 820 01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:03,042 to separate the men from the boys, 821 01:09:03,042 --> 01:09:05,958 or rather the bourgeoisie from the proletariat, 822 01:09:05,958 --> 01:09:09,125 they brought a boy, and before burning down a house 823 01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:12,667 they sent him in to make sure they had cake forks. 824 01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:20,333 That's not true. 825 01:09:22,667 --> 01:09:24,875 I don't have the story first-hand. 826 01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,167 Hello. 827 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,958 - Hi. - Hi. 828 01:09:28,958 --> 01:09:31,458 I was wondering if you could help me. 829 01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:35,083 It's suddenly gone very dirty. See, yes? 830 01:09:35,083 --> 01:09:38,625 See, you've got your dirty fingers on there. 831 01:09:38,625 --> 01:09:40,708 Maybe we should wash your hands. 832 01:09:40,708 --> 01:09:42,208 Yeah, better. 833 01:09:44,708 --> 01:09:46,417 Mm-hmm. 834 01:09:46,417 --> 01:09:49,167 - You must be very talented. - Yeah, sure. 835 01:09:49,167 --> 01:09:49,917 Hmm. 836 01:09:50,667 --> 01:09:53,542 You see, here's got a stain. 837 01:10:05,625 --> 01:10:07,417 If you'd asked Jerome, he would have said 838 01:10:07,417 --> 01:10:09,542 that I was the one who'd declared war. 839 01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:16,292 Many times he'd take me into town just so I could hold his coat. 840 01:10:17,167 --> 01:10:19,333 - There. - Where? 841 01:10:19,333 --> 01:10:21,292 There, behind the green car. 842 01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:26,250 - It's not big enough. - It is, there's plenty of space. 843 01:10:29,583 --> 01:10:31,667 I saw it, it's not enough space. 844 01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:33,917 I'm telling you, there's plenty of space. 845 01:10:46,667 --> 01:10:50,042 No. It's too small a space for such a long car. 846 01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:54,500 Can I try? 847 01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:59,542 - Can you try? - I'm a wizard at this. 848 01:10:59,542 --> 01:11:01,083 I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe. 849 01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:03,792 You just saw me do it. It's not enough space, okay? 850 01:11:04,667 --> 01:11:07,625 - Can I try? - Fuck. You want to try? 851 01:11:10,208 --> 01:11:11,333 Why not? 852 01:11:26,250 --> 01:11:27,625 Stupid. 853 01:12:06,625 --> 01:12:09,917 It was about this time that a dramatic change 854 01:12:09,917 --> 01:12:11,833 happened inside of me. 855 01:12:13,250 --> 01:12:17,792 I could suddenly see a kind of order in the mess. 856 01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:31,458 Are you just standing here looking? 857 01:12:34,250 --> 01:12:36,958 Yeah. I've begun to like his mess. 858 01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:39,375 How do you mean? 859 01:12:40,792 --> 01:12:43,750 Well, these are all things placed by Jerome. 860 01:12:44,417 --> 01:12:46,292 I mean, by Jerome's hands. 861 01:12:47,167 --> 01:12:50,750 Sounds to me like you would like to be handled by Mr. Jerome. 862 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:54,875 Darling, you're in love with him. 863 01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:02,208 It was all very, very wrong. 864 01:13:03,625 --> 01:13:06,208 I wanted to be one of Jerome's things. 865 01:13:07,042 --> 01:13:11,708 I wanted to be picked up and put down, again and again. 866 01:13:13,083 --> 01:13:15,667 I wanted to be treated by his hands 867 01:13:15,667 --> 01:13:18,792 according to some sophisticated principle 868 01:13:18,792 --> 01:13:20,875 that I didn't understand. 869 01:13:21,458 --> 01:13:23,250 His strong hands? 870 01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:27,208 Yes, but now it was no longer just about his hands. 871 01:13:27,208 --> 01:13:30,458 It's as if everything about him was different, 872 01:13:31,292 --> 01:13:34,500 which, of course, it wasn't and I knew that in my head. 873 01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:38,208 And I scolded myself for seeing him in this new light. 874 01:13:39,167 --> 01:13:43,208 - Love is blind. - No, no, no, it's worse. 875 01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,042 Love distorts things. 876 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,917 Or even worse... love is something 877 01:13:49,917 --> 01:13:51,583 you've never asked for. 878 01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:57,417 The erotic was something I asked for, or even demanded of men. 879 01:13:57,417 --> 01:14:00,167 But this idiotic love... 880 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,042 I felt humiliated by it, 881 01:14:04,708 --> 01:14:07,417 and all the dishonesty that follows. 882 01:14:09,958 --> 01:14:12,250 The erotic is about saying yes. 883 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,167 Love appeals to the lowest instincts, 884 01:14:17,167 --> 01:14:19,083 wrapped up in lies. 885 01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:23,667 How do you say "yes" when you mean "no," and vice versa. 886 01:14:27,458 --> 01:14:29,792 I'm ashamed of what I became. 887 01:14:31,083 --> 01:14:32,792 But it was beyond my control. 888 01:14:34,958 --> 01:14:39,208 - You know what you're doing now? - No, what am I doing? 889 01:14:39,750 --> 01:14:42,000 You're defending your personality. 890 01:14:42,792 --> 01:14:45,125 I thought the point was to reveal it. 891 01:14:57,250 --> 01:15:01,417 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 892 01:15:03,667 --> 01:15:05,292 Thank you meaning, "That's all." 893 01:15:09,042 --> 01:15:12,542 You can go now. Goodbye, Joe. 894 01:15:26,708 --> 01:15:30,292 At this time, I took up walking again. 895 01:15:30,292 --> 01:15:31,875 You walked in the forest? 896 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:34,333 Yes, I walked in the forest. 897 01:15:39,708 --> 01:15:42,292 The forest of my childhood. 898 01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:46,542 I took the same walk again and again. 899 01:15:47,125 --> 01:15:50,167 Right turn after the gatehouse, 900 01:15:50,167 --> 01:15:53,042 and right again by the ash tree, 901 01:15:53,042 --> 01:15:55,750 which has the most beautiful leaves in the forest, 902 01:15:57,458 --> 01:16:01,167 and further on, past a lady with her poodle, 903 01:16:01,167 --> 01:16:03,917 and the old man on the bench. 904 01:16:11,250 --> 01:16:14,500 I couldn't free myself of the image of Jerome 905 01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,458 and his careless elegance. 906 01:16:21,875 --> 01:16:26,375 And during this time, when I was with other men, 907 01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:30,542 I forbade them to touch my body with their hands. 908 01:16:34,167 --> 01:16:37,833 And soon, I stopped having sex altogether. 909 01:16:39,958 --> 01:16:42,292 I tried to meet him all the time. 910 01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:45,042 I found out where he lived, 911 01:16:45,708 --> 01:16:48,417 but of course, never dared ring his doorbell. 912 01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:55,375 I even started humiliating myself on purpose 913 01:16:55,375 --> 01:16:57,500 in order for him to notice me. 914 01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,667 You broke a taillight. 915 01:17:21,250 --> 01:17:22,333 I did. 916 01:17:23,708 --> 01:17:25,917 I thought you were such a wizard at parking. 917 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,167 So did I. 918 01:17:29,167 --> 01:17:31,125 It'll be deducted from your salary. 919 01:17:34,583 --> 01:17:36,083 It's a long car. 920 01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:42,625 I worked for a long time on a letter 921 01:17:42,625 --> 01:17:45,583 in which I told him about my feelings for him, 922 01:17:45,583 --> 01:17:48,375 but couldn't bring myself to hand it over. 923 01:17:51,125 --> 01:17:52,875 - Bye. - Bye. Bye. 924 01:17:53,542 --> 01:17:55,125 A month would pass 925 01:17:55,125 --> 01:17:59,000 before I had built up enough courage to deliver it. 926 01:18:24,125 --> 01:18:26,375 Well, I've written him a letter after all. 927 01:18:28,292 --> 01:18:31,583 Do you think that the letter is a bad idea? 928 01:18:34,333 --> 01:18:37,125 No, I think it's the right thing to do. 929 01:18:37,125 --> 01:18:42,500 I'm just... I think maybe you should wait until Friday. 930 01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:43,625 Why? 931 01:18:44,583 --> 01:18:46,667 He's always in a good mood on Fridays. 932 01:18:48,042 --> 01:18:49,208 Okay. 933 01:19:08,792 --> 01:19:12,917 I'm sorry, isn't this... Jerome's office? 934 01:19:12,917 --> 01:19:16,750 I'm happy to say that this never has been 935 01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:19,042 and never will be Jerome's office. 936 01:19:19,542 --> 01:19:23,625 My nephew has been standing in for me while I've been unwell. 937 01:19:24,125 --> 01:19:27,125 What's that? A letter for him? 938 01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:29,292 Yes. 939 01:19:29,292 --> 01:19:32,417 Give it to me and I'll make sure he gets it. 940 01:19:37,042 --> 01:19:40,958 Can't promise when that might be because he's long gone. 941 01:19:42,208 --> 01:19:45,708 How the young finance their irrepressible desire 942 01:19:45,708 --> 01:19:47,458 for travel is a mystery to me. 943 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:51,542 - So he's gone? - Deserted us, yes. 944 01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:55,375 Raving about a trip around the world, 945 01:19:55,375 --> 01:19:57,750 - and married, and all. - Married? 946 01:19:58,375 --> 01:19:59,583 Marriage, yes. 947 01:20:00,667 --> 01:20:03,000 Flown the coop with my secretary. 948 01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:04,875 Liz. 949 01:20:13,083 --> 01:20:14,667 And your job? 950 01:20:15,167 --> 01:20:17,500 Well, it turned out that Jerome's uncle 951 01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:21,167 demanded a bit more knowledge about the business, so... 952 01:20:21,167 --> 01:20:22,000 I see. 953 01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:25,875 Well, as for evidence of you being a bad human being, 954 01:20:25,875 --> 01:20:28,042 there wasn't much to go on in this chapter. 955 01:20:28,042 --> 01:20:32,167 Yes, as I said. At least superficially. 956 01:20:33,583 --> 01:20:36,708 - I suppose you were jealous. - No, I wasn't jealous. 957 01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:38,042 I didn't know that feeling. 958 01:20:39,542 --> 01:20:42,167 It's almost superhuman not to feel jealousy. 959 01:20:43,667 --> 01:20:45,583 Well, that was the end of love, then? 960 01:20:47,583 --> 01:20:50,375 Well, maybe not quite as simple. 961 01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:57,125 But more about that later, as they say in the novels. 962 01:20:57,125 --> 01:20:59,792 And Jerome just disappeared? 963 01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:06,167 Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him in my own way, mentally, 964 01:21:06,167 --> 01:21:09,833 as I masturbated on the train amongst other people. 965 01:21:12,167 --> 01:21:14,417 You masturbated on the train, on the seat? 966 01:21:14,417 --> 01:21:17,500 - Yes, of course. - And that's possible? 967 01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:21,583 Easily. You just put your coat in your lap. 968 01:21:21,583 --> 01:21:25,958 It can be done silently without expression. 969 01:21:25,958 --> 01:21:28,000 The only thing that could give me away 970 01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:31,958 and mostly to women, was my open mouth when I came. 971 01:21:46,292 --> 01:21:49,000 I did a jigsaw puzzle. 972 01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,000 Ajigsaw puzzle? 973 01:21:55,167 --> 01:21:58,333 I found details in the other passengers 974 01:21:58,333 --> 01:22:00,500 that reminded me of Jerome. 975 01:22:55,292 --> 01:22:57,083 But in the long run, 976 01:22:57,083 --> 01:22:59,417 I couldn't hold onto the details of him, 977 01:22:59,417 --> 01:23:01,792 no matter how hard I tried. 978 01:23:02,708 --> 01:23:04,500 So, you could say that in a way, 979 01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:08,167 Jerome followed you as a kind of silhouette. 980 01:23:08,167 --> 01:23:11,875 Yes, but gradually disappearing as a sexual being. 981 01:23:11,875 --> 01:23:17,083 Maybe that's how it is with memory. You remember silhouettes. 982 01:23:17,083 --> 01:23:18,958 The essentials. 983 01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:21,833 But that's not necessarily a bad thing. 984 01:23:26,042 --> 01:23:28,292 Of course there's silhouettes in the winter. 985 01:23:28,292 --> 01:23:30,583 The trees are difficult to tell apart. 986 01:23:30,583 --> 01:23:32,167 These buds... 987 01:23:32,167 --> 01:23:34,083 My father wrestled courageously 988 01:23:34,083 --> 01:23:37,083 with his flora and tree type guides. 989 01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:40,208 It's actually... 990 01:23:42,417 --> 01:23:46,083 the souls of the trees we see in the winter. 991 01:23:46,708 --> 01:23:48,500 In summer, everything's green and idyllic, 992 01:23:48,500 --> 01:23:53,333 but in the winter, the branches and the trunks, they all stand out. 993 01:23:53,333 --> 01:23:55,542 Look at how crooked they all are. 994 01:23:57,500 --> 01:24:00,542 The branches have to carry all of the leaves into the sunlight. 995 01:24:02,083 --> 01:24:05,000 It's one long struggle for survival. 996 01:24:08,250 --> 01:24:11,292 My father surprised me by calling the naked trunks 997 01:24:11,292 --> 01:24:13,500 the souls of the trees. 998 01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:17,083 A poetic thought that was rare for him, 999 01:24:17,083 --> 01:24:20,708 as by his own account, he preferred the empirical sciences. 1000 01:24:24,500 --> 01:24:26,000 And after Jerome? 1001 01:24:27,375 --> 01:24:30,083 I reacted, um... 1002 01:24:30,083 --> 01:24:33,417 Well, let's just say... aggressively. 1003 01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:39,000 - How? - By intensifying my hunt for men. 1004 01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:43,958 You know these supermarket doors 1005 01:24:43,958 --> 01:24:46,875 that open and close by way of some kind of sensor? 1006 01:24:47,708 --> 01:24:50,542 Now compare these doors to my cunt, 1007 01:24:50,542 --> 01:24:53,792 and add an extraordinarily sensitive sensor. 1008 01:24:55,958 --> 01:24:59,792 My sensitive door opening gave me an opportunity 1009 01:24:59,792 --> 01:25:04,542 to develop my morphological studies from knees to genitals. 1010 01:25:09,625 --> 01:25:14,625 I embarked on a trip through, what, in the lingo of children's books, 1011 01:25:14,625 --> 01:25:18,417 one might call, "The Country of the Big, Bad Cocks." 1012 01:25:21,042 --> 01:25:24,958 "The Country of the Small Yellow Cocks," and so on. 1013 01:25:25,708 --> 01:25:27,958 And most of all, I battled my way 1014 01:25:27,958 --> 01:25:30,750 through an untold number of circumcised cocks. 1015 01:25:32,625 --> 01:25:35,542 By the way, did you know that if you combine 1016 01:25:35,542 --> 01:25:38,292 all the foreskin cut off through history, 1017 01:25:38,292 --> 01:25:41,250 it would reach to Mars and back again? 1018 01:26:00,458 --> 01:26:01,875 "Mrs. H." 1019 01:26:17,458 --> 01:26:20,542 By now, I had built up a sizable circle of men, 1020 01:26:20,542 --> 01:26:24,375 and was starting to have trouble remembering who was who. 1021 01:26:24,375 --> 01:26:26,417 Hello, sweetheart. Want to meet? 1022 01:26:26,417 --> 01:26:28,125 It's Fisher. 1023 01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:31,083 I'm lying here thinking of you and what you said. 1024 01:26:31,083 --> 01:26:33,250 I'm not angry at all if that's what you're thinking. 1025 01:26:33,250 --> 01:26:35,792 Hi, Joe. It's Rob again. 1026 01:26:35,792 --> 01:26:37,500 I had a really good time seeing you. 1027 01:26:37,500 --> 01:26:39,042 Give me a... Give me a call. 1028 01:26:39,042 --> 01:26:41,125 Hi, Joe. 1029 01:26:41,125 --> 01:26:43,542 I left a couple of messages. Is everything all right? 1030 01:26:43,542 --> 01:26:46,250 I quickly gave up trying to remember 1031 01:26:46,250 --> 01:26:50,958 the individual relationships. It was impossible. 1032 01:26:50,958 --> 01:26:54,333 And impossible to predict what they wanted to hear. 1033 01:26:55,667 --> 01:26:57,542 So I invented a method. 1034 01:27:01,083 --> 01:27:03,458 It was all based on chance. 1035 01:27:06,958 --> 01:27:09,917 A one meant an overly loving answer. 1036 01:27:13,375 --> 01:27:16,542 A two, not quite as passionate, but still positive. 1037 01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:20,625 And so on, up to five, which was a complete rejection. 1038 01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:23,417 And six, no answer at all. 1039 01:27:26,083 --> 01:27:30,125 The trick with this method was that I didn't have to worry about 1040 01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:32,208 the individual relationships, 1041 01:27:32,208 --> 01:27:35,417 but instead became completely unpredictable, 1042 01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:38,542 which, of course, drove the men even wilder. 1043 01:27:40,667 --> 01:27:42,417 Hey, Eddie, it's me. 1044 01:27:42,417 --> 01:27:44,292 Listen, I've given this a lot of thought, 1045 01:27:44,292 --> 01:27:47,375 and I've come to the conclusion that we're done. Bye. 1046 01:27:48,708 --> 01:27:51,792 I was just wondering if you wanted to come back, 1047 01:27:51,792 --> 01:27:54,000 and maybe we can do something nice. 1048 01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,750 Hi, Patrick, it's Joe. 1049 01:27:56,750 --> 01:28:00,375 I had a really lovely time with you, and I'd love for you to come back. 1050 01:28:00,375 --> 01:28:03,708 If you're interested, let me know. Bye. 1051 01:28:03,708 --> 01:28:07,583 I really don't think we match, and you're quite annoying, 1052 01:28:08,500 --> 01:28:12,000 so I don't want to see you anymore. Please don't call back. 1053 01:28:13,042 --> 01:28:15,125 That sounds rather stressful. 1054 01:28:15,125 --> 01:28:17,125 Yes, actually, it was. 1055 01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:21,000 But fortunately, I had my little book of comfort. 1056 01:28:22,708 --> 01:28:28,375 When I needed comfort or peace, I took out my herbarium 1057 01:28:28,375 --> 01:28:30,417 and looked at my favorite leaves. 1058 01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:34,792 Ash, trembling aspen and lime. 1059 01:28:42,875 --> 01:28:45,292 When you're dealing with a larger group of lovers 1060 01:28:45,292 --> 01:28:50,167 as I was, there will typically be a difference in their qualities. 1061 01:28:50,167 --> 01:28:52,500 H was a sticky bastard. 1062 01:28:52,500 --> 01:28:56,667 I had invited A for dinner, as he was my favorite, 1063 01:28:56,667 --> 01:29:01,000 while H, who was present, had become quite irritating. 1064 01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,333 You have to leave. I've got guests for dinner. 1065 01:29:03,333 --> 01:29:05,000 But he's not coming until seven. 1066 01:29:06,208 --> 01:29:09,417 No. But seven isn't that far away. 1067 01:29:17,917 --> 01:29:19,542 Do you love me? 1068 01:29:22,125 --> 01:29:24,917 A was to arrive at seven, 1069 01:29:24,917 --> 01:29:27,583 and I needed to get H out of there. 1070 01:29:30,417 --> 01:29:31,833 I love you too much. 1071 01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:36,792 You keep promising, but I understand now 1072 01:29:36,792 --> 01:29:40,292 that you'll never leave your family for my sake. 1073 01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:44,125 It's sad, but... 1074 01:29:46,208 --> 01:29:47,333 it's your choice. 1075 01:29:49,208 --> 01:29:52,375 It's not satisfying for me that I can't have you completely. 1076 01:29:56,042 --> 01:29:58,625 Which is why we can't see each other any longer. 1077 01:30:03,375 --> 01:30:04,375 Goodbye. 1078 01:30:08,958 --> 01:30:09,917 Look... 1079 01:30:15,125 --> 01:30:17,083 Have a nice life. 1080 01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,125 My darling, I'm yours. 1081 01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:48,083 I've left her. 1082 01:30:56,375 --> 01:30:59,250 - Has he gone inside? - Yes. 1083 01:31:00,667 --> 01:31:02,375 Is the door closed? 1084 01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:16,958 - Uh, hello. - Hello. 1085 01:31:16,958 --> 01:31:20,000 Apologize. We, uh... 1086 01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,667 had promised not to come up. 1087 01:31:22,667 --> 01:31:25,583 We just wanted to... 1088 01:31:25,583 --> 01:31:29,083 make sure he got here safely, now that he's... 1089 01:31:29,083 --> 01:31:30,583 made the big decision. 1090 01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:36,000 May the children see him inside? 1091 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:38,792 They say that the experience of saying goodbye 1092 01:31:38,792 --> 01:31:41,708 can be very useful later when dealing with trauma. 1093 01:31:58,708 --> 01:31:59,958 What a nice place. 1094 01:32:01,500 --> 01:32:04,375 It's, uh... so bohemian. 1095 01:32:05,958 --> 01:32:08,292 We used to have a place like this before we were... 1096 01:32:08,292 --> 01:32:10,167 we were married. 1097 01:32:10,167 --> 01:32:13,583 Before the children, me and my husband. 1098 01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:19,125 Oh, I'm sorry. He isn't anymore, is he? 1099 01:32:19,958 --> 01:32:22,458 It's all so new and confusing. 1100 01:32:27,125 --> 01:32:30,167 He wanted to give us everything, but, uh... 1101 01:32:31,375 --> 01:32:33,375 Of course we couldn't accept that. 1102 01:32:35,667 --> 01:32:37,125 Oh, that's right. 1103 01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:41,000 - You need the car key. - No, I don't need the car. 1104 01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:43,042 Oh, yes, you do. 1105 01:32:43,042 --> 01:32:44,500 He likes the car. 1106 01:32:46,042 --> 01:32:47,708 Here. 1107 01:32:47,708 --> 01:32:49,750 - Please, just take it. - I don't want it. 1108 01:32:49,750 --> 01:32:52,417 - Just take it. - I don't want the fucking car! 1109 01:32:56,333 --> 01:33:00,042 It's all right. We'll get the bus home. 1110 01:33:00,750 --> 01:33:03,708 Children might as well get used to public transport now, right? 1111 01:33:04,917 --> 01:33:08,625 Of course, their standard of living won't be the same anymore, but... 1112 01:33:13,083 --> 01:33:15,292 I'm not saying that to bother anyone. 1113 01:33:16,333 --> 01:33:17,875 One has to be realistic. 1114 01:33:22,167 --> 01:33:23,375 Hey. 1115 01:33:25,583 --> 01:33:26,917 What's this? 1116 01:33:26,917 --> 01:33:28,792 It's a present. 1117 01:33:29,708 --> 01:33:32,875 A pillow he has embroidered himself. 1118 01:33:34,500 --> 01:33:36,292 - And who's it for? - Daddy. 1119 01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:40,625 I do hope it's all right if the children 1120 01:33:40,625 --> 01:33:42,125 call their father "Daddy" here. 1121 01:33:42,125 --> 01:33:45,833 If you prefer, they can call him... 1122 01:33:45,833 --> 01:33:49,958 "him," or simply, "the man." 1123 01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:52,500 Whatever. 1124 01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:58,083 "Whatever." 1125 01:33:59,333 --> 01:34:01,708 Must be hard when you've got everything, 1126 01:34:02,625 --> 01:34:04,125 to know what to say. 1127 01:34:05,292 --> 01:34:07,292 To be honest, my first thought was never, 1128 01:34:07,292 --> 01:34:09,458 ever to let either of you see the children, 1129 01:34:09,458 --> 01:34:11,875 but then I changed my mind. 1130 01:34:11,875 --> 01:34:14,417 I thought it only right that their father be confronted 1131 01:34:14,417 --> 01:34:16,875 by the little people whose lives he's destroyed. 1132 01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:20,750 Give Daddy your present. 1133 01:34:24,458 --> 01:34:27,583 It's a car the little dear has embroidered. 1134 01:34:29,542 --> 01:34:32,417 I'm aware that not everyone can see it, but... 1135 01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:35,250 with the heart one can see much, 1136 01:34:35,250 --> 01:34:38,542 however unimportant that information may be to you. 1137 01:34:40,458 --> 01:34:45,167 Would it be all right if I show the children the whoring bed? 1138 01:34:45,167 --> 01:34:49,583 After all, they also had a stake in this event. 1139 01:34:53,333 --> 01:34:55,375 You need to see it. Right? 1140 01:34:56,417 --> 01:34:58,250 Let's go see Daddy's favorite place. 1141 01:34:59,375 --> 01:35:01,500 Come on, boys. 1142 01:35:02,917 --> 01:35:04,792 Oh! 1143 01:35:07,125 --> 01:35:11,167 So this is where it all happened. 1144 01:35:17,667 --> 01:35:20,625 You should try to memorize this room. 1145 01:35:21,292 --> 01:35:23,333 Especially the bed. 1146 01:35:23,958 --> 01:35:26,792 It'll stand you in good stead later in therapy. 1147 01:35:26,792 --> 01:35:28,333 Oh. 1148 01:35:28,333 --> 01:35:30,917 Here I sit rambling on about therapy 1149 01:35:30,917 --> 01:35:33,083 without a thought of what it might cost. 1150 01:35:33,083 --> 01:35:36,125 I do hope you don't think we're here to beg. 1151 01:35:39,958 --> 01:35:41,542 I'm sorry. 1152 01:35:41,542 --> 01:35:43,917 I'm sorry. 1153 01:35:43,917 --> 01:35:46,500 Being silly. Mommy's being silly. 1154 01:35:47,167 --> 01:35:49,583 Let's have a cup of tea. 1155 01:36:08,292 --> 01:36:10,583 Hope it's not too weak. 1156 01:36:10,583 --> 01:36:13,292 Afraid I'm rather nervous. 1157 01:36:19,500 --> 01:36:23,250 The children's father likes two lumps of sugar in his tea. 1158 01:36:41,583 --> 01:36:43,417 Mm-mm. I'll get it. 1159 01:36:43,417 --> 01:36:45,625 Mm-mm. - No, no, please, please. 1160 01:36:47,750 --> 01:36:50,333 - Hello. - Hello. 1161 01:36:50,333 --> 01:36:52,333 - Yes? - Uh... 1162 01:36:52,333 --> 01:36:54,875 How nice. Lovely. 1163 01:36:54,875 --> 01:36:58,375 - Boys, come here. - Is Joe here? 1164 01:36:58,375 --> 01:36:59,542 This might be interesting. 1165 01:37:01,792 --> 01:37:03,125 - This is my son. - Yes. 1166 01:37:03,125 --> 01:37:04,875 - Yes. - Hello, hello. 1167 01:37:04,875 --> 01:37:07,500 - Look him in the eyes. - I'm Andy. Hello. 1168 01:37:07,500 --> 01:37:09,542 - Friend of Joe's then? - Yeah. 1169 01:37:09,542 --> 01:37:13,167 - You known each other long? - Uh... Not that long, no. 1170 01:37:13,167 --> 01:37:15,000 - Not very long? - No. 1171 01:37:15,000 --> 01:37:15,833 Oh. 1172 01:37:23,750 --> 01:37:26,000 A menage-a-trois. 1173 01:37:28,167 --> 01:37:30,333 It's all so exotic. 1174 01:37:30,333 --> 01:37:33,125 So broad-minded. 1175 01:37:34,833 --> 01:37:38,542 On that point... I failed. 1176 01:37:39,542 --> 01:37:40,875 No doubt about it. 1177 01:37:43,417 --> 01:37:47,333 Boys, now is the time to be alert, 1178 01:37:47,333 --> 01:37:50,833 and ask all the questions your heart's desire. 1179 01:37:52,333 --> 01:37:54,917 Because... 1180 01:37:54,917 --> 01:37:58,208 I hope that you shall never have to encounter 1181 01:37:58,208 --> 01:38:01,417 such people or be in such a situation ever again. 1182 01:38:03,417 --> 01:38:06,958 Well, hmm? You don't have any questions? 1183 01:38:07,917 --> 01:38:09,208 No? 1184 01:38:11,750 --> 01:38:14,542 Well, I'll start, shall I? 1185 01:38:14,542 --> 01:38:17,208 Approximately, how many lives... 1186 01:38:17,208 --> 01:38:20,625 do you think she has time to destroy in one day? 1187 01:38:20,625 --> 01:38:23,708 Five? 50? 1188 01:38:24,833 --> 01:38:26,833 Or several hundreds? 1189 01:38:27,958 --> 01:38:31,000 I admit the latter sounds improbable, 1190 01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:34,833 but where there's a will there's a way. 1191 01:38:43,125 --> 01:38:46,708 Look, this is just a big misunderstanding. 1192 01:38:51,667 --> 01:38:53,167 Boys? 1193 01:38:55,417 --> 01:38:57,542 I don't... I don't love your father. 1194 01:38:59,000 --> 01:39:01,542 She's just saying that to make us feel better. 1195 01:39:01,542 --> 01:39:03,375 I'm sure you understand that. 1196 01:39:04,167 --> 01:39:06,458 Because if it were a joke, I mean... 1197 01:39:07,583 --> 01:39:12,375 If... this were really a joke, then it would be a joke so cruel. 1198 01:39:17,875 --> 01:39:21,292 No one can be that cruel. 1199 01:39:24,750 --> 01:39:27,875 They say that even the Huns on their rampage 1200 01:39:27,875 --> 01:39:31,625 were rather unreserved, but to split up a family... 1201 01:39:35,042 --> 01:39:39,083 To destroy a mesh of feelings woven over 20 years 1202 01:39:39,083 --> 01:39:42,125 is no joke, I can assure you. 1203 01:39:52,125 --> 01:39:53,375 Well... 1204 01:39:55,042 --> 01:39:57,833 If three's a crowd, then seven must be 1205 01:39:57,833 --> 01:40:00,500 a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss. 1206 01:40:02,625 --> 01:40:07,208 I must say I have a hard time picturing her enjoying loneliness. 1207 01:40:09,625 --> 01:40:13,125 I think we better grab the chance to get away 1208 01:40:13,125 --> 01:40:15,583 before things become grotesque. 1209 01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:21,667 No, no, no! 1210 01:40:24,250 --> 01:40:27,417 You wouldn't want to give your father a guilty conscience now, would you? 1211 01:41:05,458 --> 01:41:07,625 So how did this episode affect your life? 1212 01:41:09,000 --> 01:41:10,333 Not at all. 1213 01:41:12,542 --> 01:41:15,292 - Not at all? - No. 1214 01:41:16,250 --> 01:41:19,292 You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. 1215 01:41:23,917 --> 01:41:25,750 Well, that's true. 1216 01:41:28,750 --> 01:41:32,333 Some people... blame the addict. 1217 01:41:32,333 --> 01:41:36,500 Other people feel sorry for the addict. 1218 01:41:36,500 --> 01:41:41,167 But I was an addict out of lust, not out of need. 1219 01:41:41,917 --> 01:41:43,708 You would say that, wouldn't you? 1220 01:41:44,583 --> 01:41:48,167 And lust that led to destruction around me, 1221 01:41:48,167 --> 01:41:49,625 everywhere I went. 1222 01:41:51,333 --> 01:41:56,042 Well, addiction sometimes leads to an... 1223 01:41:56,042 --> 01:41:57,875 absence of empathy. 1224 01:41:59,667 --> 01:42:01,042 You can't fight a lion 1225 01:42:01,042 --> 01:42:03,667 and blow the noses of your children at the same time. 1226 01:42:06,250 --> 01:42:09,333 For me, nymphomania was callousness. 1227 01:42:12,583 --> 01:42:14,292 You're very stubborn. 1228 01:42:15,250 --> 01:42:17,417 But what about yourself? 1229 01:42:18,333 --> 01:42:20,875 How did you feel during all this? 1230 01:42:30,833 --> 01:42:33,875 Did you feel good, or did you feel bad? 1231 01:42:41,917 --> 01:42:44,583 It's funny because when I think about my life 1232 01:42:44,583 --> 01:42:49,417 as a whole, I can only say that I felt good. 1233 01:42:49,417 --> 01:42:54,125 But when I try and remember a specific episode, 1234 01:42:54,125 --> 01:42:57,542 I'd say that just then I felt rather bad. 1235 01:42:57,542 --> 01:42:59,125 In what way? 1236 01:43:04,792 --> 01:43:07,875 Mrs. H was right about the loneliness. 1237 01:43:08,667 --> 01:43:12,958 I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been my constant companion. 1238 01:43:15,792 --> 01:43:19,917 So you were with all these men, and you still felt alone? 1239 01:43:27,042 --> 01:43:29,375 I didn't want to tell you about it. 1240 01:43:31,000 --> 01:43:33,500 But you've led me into a trap. 1241 01:43:36,750 --> 01:43:39,292 It was a certain feeling. 1242 01:43:44,167 --> 01:43:48,708 Oh, how awful that everything has to be so trivial. 1243 01:43:58,208 --> 01:44:01,125 When I was seven I had to have an operation. 1244 01:44:01,125 --> 01:44:04,417 Nothing serious, but it did require anesthesia. 1245 01:44:06,625 --> 01:44:11,083 I had already been pre-medicated, and was feeling all right. 1246 01:44:12,250 --> 01:44:15,250 But when I looked into the room where the doctors and nurses 1247 01:44:15,250 --> 01:44:18,500 were preparing for the operation, 1248 01:44:18,500 --> 01:44:21,000 it was as if had to pass through 1249 01:44:21,000 --> 01:44:24,958 an impenetrable gate all by myself. 1250 01:44:27,417 --> 01:44:30,125 It wasn't just that I missed my mom. 1251 01:44:30,125 --> 01:44:32,667 I don't think I missed my dad, 1252 01:44:32,667 --> 01:44:34,458 even though he was the nice one. 1253 01:44:35,292 --> 01:44:39,708 It was as if I was completely alone in the universe. 1254 01:44:41,792 --> 01:44:46,583 As if my whole body was filled with loneliness and tears. 1255 01:45:09,833 --> 01:45:13,625 And I'm still not allowed to feel sorry for you? 1256 01:45:15,458 --> 01:45:17,208 Shall we go on? 1257 01:45:42,958 --> 01:45:44,958 What are you reading? 1258 01:45:44,958 --> 01:45:47,917 I'm not reading it really, I'm just... 1259 01:45:47,917 --> 01:45:50,625 reacquainting myself with Edgar Allan Poe. 1260 01:45:51,833 --> 01:45:53,000 I don't know him. 1261 01:45:54,417 --> 01:45:56,333 Well, he was a... 1262 01:45:58,333 --> 01:46:00,458 very anxiety-ridden man. 1263 01:46:06,542 --> 01:46:10,667 He died in the most fearful way you can imagine, 1264 01:46:10,667 --> 01:46:12,667 in something called delirium tremens. 1265 01:46:15,750 --> 01:46:20,500 It occurs when the long-time abuse of alcohol is followed by... 1266 01:46:20,500 --> 01:46:22,750 by a sudden abstinence. 1267 01:46:24,750 --> 01:46:28,333 Your body goes into some kind of hyper-sensitive shock. 1268 01:46:29,333 --> 01:46:32,542 You can see the most horrifying hallucinations 1269 01:46:32,542 --> 01:46:38,000 or rats and snakes, and cockroaches coming out of the floor, 1270 01:46:38,000 --> 01:46:41,250 and worms slithering the walls. 1271 01:46:44,125 --> 01:46:47,875 One's entire nervous system is on high alert, 1272 01:46:47,875 --> 01:46:50,500 and you have a constant panic and paranoia. 1273 01:46:52,333 --> 01:46:54,875 And then the circulatory system fails. 1274 01:46:55,708 --> 01:46:58,250 But the panic and horror... 1275 01:46:58,250 --> 01:47:01,250 remains until the moment of death. 1276 01:47:17,792 --> 01:47:19,750 I know what delirium is. 1277 01:47:24,083 --> 01:47:25,417 "During the whole 1278 01:47:25,417 --> 01:47:27,167 of a dull, dark and soundless day 1279 01:47:27,167 --> 01:47:30,375 in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung 1280 01:47:30,375 --> 01:47:33,125 oppressively low in the heavens, 1281 01:47:33,125 --> 01:47:36,375 I had been passing alone on horseback 1282 01:47:36,375 --> 01:47:40,083 through a singularly dreary tract of country; 1283 01:47:40,083 --> 01:47:41,958 and at length found myself 1284 01:47:41,958 --> 01:47:44,875 as the shades of the evening drew on, 1285 01:47:44,875 --> 01:47:49,000 within view of the melancholy House of Usher." 1286 01:48:18,792 --> 01:48:20,667 Hey, Dad. 1287 01:48:32,333 --> 01:48:33,333 Hi, love. 1288 01:48:36,000 --> 01:48:37,333 How are you? 1289 01:48:39,250 --> 01:48:40,750 I fought with Mom. 1290 01:48:42,542 --> 01:48:45,042 She's... She's not coming. 1291 01:48:49,625 --> 01:48:52,083 You ought not to fight with her. 1292 01:48:52,083 --> 01:48:54,458 You know Kay's fear of hospitals. 1293 01:48:58,125 --> 01:49:00,333 I know she's not coming. 1294 01:49:00,333 --> 01:49:03,042 We already said everything we needed to say. 1295 01:49:06,000 --> 01:49:07,833 Kay and I said goodbye at home. 1296 01:49:09,333 --> 01:49:11,292 I don't want her here at all. 1297 01:49:14,750 --> 01:49:18,792 - I can't accept that. - You'll have to. 1298 01:49:19,750 --> 01:49:22,542 She's a cowardly, stupid bitch. 1299 01:49:24,250 --> 01:49:25,708 No, she's not. 1300 01:49:26,958 --> 01:49:28,917 - Yeah. - No, she's not. 1301 01:49:28,917 --> 01:49:30,458 - Yes. - No, she's not. 1302 01:49:30,458 --> 01:49:33,042 Yes, she is. You've never understood that. 1303 01:49:48,208 --> 01:49:49,875 Doesn't it scare you? 1304 01:49:51,875 --> 01:49:57,583 No. 1305 01:50:00,625 --> 01:50:02,792 How can you not be afraid? 1306 01:50:07,708 --> 01:50:09,708 I've seen so many die. 1307 01:50:12,083 --> 01:50:15,417 And there's that Epicurus quote 1308 01:50:15,417 --> 01:50:17,167 about not fearing death. 1309 01:50:18,583 --> 01:50:22,250 "When we are, death has not come. 1310 01:50:22,250 --> 01:50:26,708 When death has come... we are not." 1311 01:50:31,125 --> 01:50:33,333 You know it's going to happen. 1312 01:50:33,958 --> 01:50:37,417 I also know all the drugs the doctors have to offer. 1313 01:50:37,417 --> 01:50:38,958 So, no. 1314 01:50:39,958 --> 01:50:41,875 I am not... 1315 01:50:41,875 --> 01:50:44,000 I am not afraid. 1316 01:50:45,917 --> 01:50:48,708 Hmm. My beautiful girl. 1317 01:50:50,667 --> 01:50:52,583 Beautiful dad. 1318 01:50:59,833 --> 01:51:01,625 Hello, Doctor. 1319 01:51:01,625 --> 01:51:04,667 Hello, Doctor. This is my daughter Joe. 1320 01:51:04,667 --> 01:51:06,292 - Hey, Joe. - Hi. 1321 01:51:09,042 --> 01:51:10,958 Do you need anything? 1322 01:51:10,958 --> 01:51:14,375 As I've said, I've decided to be 1323 01:51:14,375 --> 01:51:16,958 an exemplary patient, completely subjecting myself 1324 01:51:16,958 --> 01:51:19,625 - to doctor's orders. - Are you in pain? 1325 01:51:21,417 --> 01:51:22,917 I don't think so, no. 1326 01:51:22,917 --> 01:51:25,000 We're going to give you a splash all the same. 1327 01:51:46,458 --> 01:51:48,000 Your hair is longer. 1328 01:51:50,583 --> 01:51:52,250 No, it's not. 1329 01:51:55,333 --> 01:51:57,417 They're giving you too much medication. 1330 01:52:08,083 --> 01:52:08,792 No. 1331 01:52:10,292 --> 01:52:11,833 Dad. 1332 01:52:12,625 --> 01:52:16,208 It's okay, Dad. You're just dreaming. 1333 01:52:16,208 --> 01:52:20,792 You're having a nightmare. 1334 01:52:22,292 --> 01:52:25,667 It's okay. 1335 01:52:43,292 --> 01:52:45,833 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 1336 01:52:48,542 --> 01:52:51,667 Okay. Don't worry, I'm going to get the doctor. Don't worry. 1337 01:53:08,375 --> 01:53:10,375 You must be exhausted. 1338 01:53:12,042 --> 01:53:13,333 I'm fine. 1339 01:53:14,167 --> 01:53:16,583 I think you should go home, get some rest. 1340 01:53:18,375 --> 01:53:21,458 No. Someone needs to be here. 1341 01:53:23,333 --> 01:53:26,208 Perhaps you could share with some other family members. 1342 01:53:29,667 --> 01:53:31,458 There aren't any others. 1343 01:54:05,750 --> 01:54:07,458 Kay! 1344 01:54:07,458 --> 01:54:10,667 Daddy, it's okay. 1345 01:54:10,667 --> 01:54:13,583 Kay? 1346 01:54:17,458 --> 01:54:18,958 Kay. 1347 01:54:18,958 --> 01:54:21,750 Kay. Kay. 1348 01:54:27,417 --> 01:54:30,958 Kay. 1349 01:54:30,958 --> 01:54:33,625 Kay! Kay. 1350 01:54:33,625 --> 01:54:36,792 - Kay! - I'm going to get the doctor. 1351 01:54:36,792 --> 01:54:38,333 Kay! 1352 01:54:38,333 --> 01:54:39,958 I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy. 1353 01:54:43,375 --> 01:54:47,500 Excuse me. My dad is really unwell. 1354 01:54:47,500 --> 01:54:49,792 Sit. I'll go have a look. 1355 01:54:51,542 --> 01:54:53,583 Maybe you could give him some more morphine. 1356 01:54:53,583 --> 01:54:56,250 There's something I'd like to explain. 1357 01:54:57,833 --> 01:54:59,625 I can certainly give him more morphine, 1358 01:54:59,625 --> 01:55:02,833 but most likely it won't make much difference. 1359 01:55:03,833 --> 01:55:08,333 Most deaths, fortunately, are uneventful, 1360 01:55:08,333 --> 01:55:13,875 as long as you medicate the patients to keep them free of fear and pain. 1361 01:55:13,875 --> 01:55:16,875 In a few cases, the process of dying 1362 01:55:16,875 --> 01:55:18,667 causes brain damage, 1363 01:55:19,875 --> 01:55:22,125 which triggers what we call delirium. 1364 01:55:22,875 --> 01:55:27,708 That's not something we can soften with morphine, unfortunately. 1365 01:55:46,375 --> 01:55:47,833 Daddy. 1366 01:55:58,042 --> 01:55:59,750 It's gonna be okay. 1367 01:56:11,583 --> 01:56:14,500 I don't know what's happening to me. 1368 01:56:31,417 --> 01:56:33,667 Don't you want to take a little walk? 1369 01:56:33,667 --> 01:56:36,000 I'll stay with your father in the meantime. 1370 01:56:36,542 --> 01:56:39,417 You'll stay? You'll stay here? 1371 01:56:39,417 --> 01:56:40,417 Yes. 1372 01:57:37,875 --> 01:57:39,792 Ash tree leaves. 1373 01:57:42,250 --> 01:57:44,042 Where did you find them? 1374 01:57:44,542 --> 01:57:46,417 They were in the park. 1375 01:57:54,542 --> 01:57:57,500 It truly is the most beautiful tree in the forest. 1376 01:58:01,792 --> 01:58:04,083 But Dad... 1377 01:58:04,083 --> 01:58:07,042 How do you recognize it in winter? 1378 01:58:08,042 --> 01:58:09,958 Told you 100 times. 1379 01:58:12,000 --> 01:58:13,708 I can't remember. 1380 01:58:18,458 --> 01:58:21,542 When the ash tree was created... 1381 01:58:24,167 --> 01:58:27,125 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous, 1382 01:58:28,208 --> 01:58:30,000 because it was... 1383 01:58:32,292 --> 01:58:34,917 It was the most beautiful tree in the forest. 1384 01:58:38,417 --> 01:58:40,250 It had the strongest wood. 1385 01:58:41,417 --> 01:58:43,208 It could be used for anything. 1386 01:58:45,875 --> 01:58:49,750 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology. 1387 01:58:51,250 --> 01:58:54,208 You couldn't say anything bad about it. 1388 01:58:58,417 --> 01:59:02,250 And then when all the other trees saw the ash tree 1389 01:59:02,250 --> 01:59:05,333 with its black buds... 1390 01:59:06,417 --> 01:59:08,500 they all started laughing. 1391 01:59:09,417 --> 01:59:10,917 "Oh, look. 1392 01:59:12,167 --> 01:59:15,750 The ash tree's had its fingers in the ashes." 1393 01:59:32,875 --> 01:59:36,167 Dad. Daddy! 1394 01:59:36,167 --> 01:59:38,208 Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong? 1395 01:59:38,208 --> 01:59:39,500 Daddy, what's wrong? 1396 01:59:43,125 --> 01:59:45,750 Daddy, it's me! It's me, then. It's me! 1397 01:59:45,750 --> 01:59:48,625 Help! Help! 1398 01:59:51,333 --> 01:59:52,542 Okay. 1399 01:59:52,542 --> 01:59:54,708 Okay. 1400 01:59:57,750 --> 02:00:00,208 Okay. It's okay, it's okay. It's all right. 1401 02:00:04,083 --> 02:00:05,875 It's all right. 1402 02:00:16,167 --> 02:00:18,458 We have to fixate him. 1403 02:00:18,458 --> 02:00:22,000 What are you doing? What are you doing to me? 1404 02:00:27,125 --> 02:00:30,375 Joe! What are you doing to me? 1405 02:00:44,583 --> 02:00:45,542 Joe! 1406 02:00:46,083 --> 02:00:48,958 Joe! 1407 02:00:48,958 --> 02:00:51,458 I'm sorry. 1408 02:00:56,625 --> 02:00:58,042 You should take a break. 1409 02:02:31,875 --> 02:02:33,625 Excuse me. 1410 02:02:40,917 --> 02:02:42,750 Okay, don't worry. 1411 02:02:42,750 --> 02:02:45,417 Just clean that up. 1412 02:03:32,458 --> 02:03:33,875 Ready? 1413 02:04:37,208 --> 02:04:41,500 When he died, I had no feelings left. 1414 02:04:42,458 --> 02:04:44,792 Well, that's certainly understandable. 1415 02:04:45,583 --> 02:04:48,667 No. I don't know what happened to me. 1416 02:04:49,917 --> 02:04:51,458 It was very shameful. 1417 02:04:52,583 --> 02:04:56,333 Shameful? I don't understand. 1418 02:05:22,208 --> 02:05:24,417 I lubricated. 1419 02:05:42,125 --> 02:05:44,458 I know you like to present yourself in a negative way, 1420 02:05:44,458 --> 02:05:47,042 and that you have this, kind of dark bias 1421 02:05:47,042 --> 02:05:49,125 that you're worse than everyone else. 1422 02:05:49,792 --> 02:05:51,708 But this story doesn't add to that belief. 1423 02:05:54,083 --> 02:05:57,500 It's extremely common to react sexually in a crisis. 1424 02:05:58,292 --> 02:06:00,875 It may be shameful to you, but... 1425 02:06:00,875 --> 02:06:04,375 in literature, there is many worse examples. 1426 02:06:08,125 --> 02:06:10,458 But I did inherit my father's caliper. 1427 02:06:12,958 --> 02:06:17,625 I found it so beautiful and worn by its use. 1428 02:06:18,833 --> 02:06:21,083 What else did you receive? 1429 02:06:23,833 --> 02:06:25,125 Nothing. 1430 02:06:26,917 --> 02:06:29,375 I didn't have the strength to argue with my mother, 1431 02:06:29,375 --> 02:06:32,750 so I wrote off any further part of my inheritance. 1432 02:06:32,750 --> 02:06:37,792 Really? Well, that's a dramatic gesture. 1433 02:06:41,125 --> 02:06:44,583 - You listen to music, I see? - Yes. 1434 02:06:44,583 --> 02:06:48,750 I like it a lot. Shall I find a tape? 1435 02:06:48,750 --> 02:06:53,583 No, if there's a tape already in the machine? I'd like to hear that. 1436 02:06:54,125 --> 02:06:56,167 It's something I've been listening to a lot lately, 1437 02:06:56,167 --> 02:06:59,458 though it's not an entirely complete recording, unfortunately. 1438 02:07:00,083 --> 02:07:02,750 - What is it? - It's Bach. 1439 02:07:02,750 --> 02:07:05,500 From his little organ book. 1440 02:07:12,500 --> 02:07:14,792 The theme is originally a hymn, 1441 02:07:15,667 --> 02:07:19,042 Bach rearranged it and embellished it a little. 1442 02:07:20,083 --> 02:07:23,292 He was the master at polyphony, if you know what that is. 1443 02:07:23,292 --> 02:07:25,958 No, yet another thing I don't know. 1444 02:07:25,958 --> 02:07:29,167 Polyphony is from the Middle Ages. 1445 02:07:29,167 --> 02:07:31,667 It's an entirely European phenomenon. 1446 02:07:32,500 --> 02:07:35,500 It's distinguished by the idea that, 1447 02:07:35,500 --> 02:07:38,625 every voice is its own melody, 1448 02:07:40,083 --> 02:07:42,042 but together in harmony. 1449 02:07:43,917 --> 02:07:48,125 Bach's forerunner, Palestrina, he wrote many words 1450 02:07:48,125 --> 02:07:50,792 for several choirs at the same time, 1451 02:07:50,792 --> 02:07:53,208 wallowing in polyphony. 1452 02:08:03,208 --> 02:08:05,458 But in my eyes, Bach perfected 1453 02:08:05,458 --> 02:08:07,792 the melodic expression and the harmony. 1454 02:08:08,833 --> 02:08:13,250 And also mixed up with some rather incomprehensible 1455 02:08:13,250 --> 02:08:15,625 mystique regarding numbers, 1456 02:08:15,625 --> 02:08:19,375 most likely based on the Fibonacci Sequence. 1457 02:08:20,958 --> 02:08:23,292 You know the one that starts with the zero, 1458 02:08:23,292 --> 02:08:24,500 and then comes the one. 1459 02:08:25,208 --> 02:08:29,458 The sequence is created by adding the two previous numbers 1460 02:08:29,458 --> 02:08:32,750 to create the new one, so it's zero plus one makes one. 1461 02:08:32,750 --> 02:08:35,625 and one plus one makes two, and two plus one makes three 1462 02:08:35,625 --> 02:08:39,042 and three plus two makes five, and five plus three makes eight, 1463 02:08:39,042 --> 02:08:41,208 and eight plus five makes 13. 1464 02:08:41,208 --> 02:08:42,958 The sequence has an interesting connection 1465 02:08:42,958 --> 02:08:45,750 to Pythagoras' theorem of the Golden Section. 1466 02:08:47,500 --> 02:08:50,958 It was all about finding out a divine methodology 1467 02:08:50,958 --> 02:08:52,875 in art and architecture. 1468 02:08:52,875 --> 02:08:54,833 A bit like the way a tri-tone, 1469 02:08:54,833 --> 02:08:56,958 which was played on the piano in your little club 1470 02:08:56,958 --> 02:08:58,917 was supposed to be a satanic interval. 1471 02:09:00,583 --> 02:09:04,750 The sum of the numeric values represented in Bach's name is 14, 1472 02:09:05,750 --> 02:09:08,000 a number he often used in his compositions. 1473 02:09:08,000 --> 02:09:09,833 The clever thing about Bach's name 1474 02:09:09,833 --> 02:09:13,417 is that the numeric value of the individual letters 1475 02:09:13,417 --> 02:09:15,167 are all Fibonacci numbers. 1476 02:09:18,250 --> 02:09:20,833 This piece has three voices: 1477 02:09:20,833 --> 02:09:22,000 the bass voice... 1478 02:09:27,875 --> 02:09:29,750 The second voice played with the left hand. 1479 02:09:34,500 --> 02:09:36,417 The first voice played with the right hand. 1480 02:09:36,417 --> 02:09:40,333 That is called Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus. 1481 02:09:40,333 --> 02:09:44,500 And together, these three voices create the polyphony. 1482 02:11:15,333 --> 02:11:18,625 Well, if I should compare this with my story, 1483 02:11:18,625 --> 02:11:22,000 it's reminiscent of a quality of nymphomania, 1484 02:11:22,000 --> 02:11:25,542 which is normally ignored, but nonetheless essential, 1485 02:11:25,542 --> 02:11:29,208 and namely the relationship between the various intercourses. 1486 02:11:31,875 --> 02:11:34,125 That's interesting. 1487 02:11:34,125 --> 02:11:36,833 They create a... a completeness? 1488 02:11:38,208 --> 02:11:40,542 As, for example, the handshake, 1489 02:11:40,542 --> 02:11:43,792 which for all people is the sum of 1490 02:11:43,792 --> 02:11:46,708 all the different handshakes that together 1491 02:11:46,708 --> 02:11:50,083 form our view of what a handshake is. 1492 02:11:50,083 --> 02:11:53,000 The good, the bad handshake, 1493 02:11:53,000 --> 02:11:54,667 the firm, the limp. 1494 02:11:56,708 --> 02:11:59,417 Normally, a nymphomaniac is seen as... 1495 02:12:00,708 --> 02:12:02,750 someone who can't get enough, 1496 02:12:03,667 --> 02:12:06,042 and therefore, has sex with many different people. 1497 02:12:06,042 --> 02:12:07,750 Well, that, of course, is true, 1498 02:12:07,750 --> 02:12:12,542 but if I'm to be honest, I see it precisely as 1499 02:12:12,542 --> 02:12:17,167 the sum of all these different sexual experiences. 1500 02:12:19,000 --> 02:12:23,125 So in that way, I have only one lover. 1501 02:12:27,875 --> 02:12:30,708 Since the music has three voices, 1502 02:12:30,708 --> 02:12:34,583 I will limit myself to talking about three lovers. 1503 02:12:34,583 --> 02:12:38,417 The bass is easy. That's F. 1504 02:12:39,000 --> 02:12:42,375 F had a red car that he'd bought used. 1505 02:12:45,292 --> 02:12:46,583 As I was having sex 1506 02:12:46,583 --> 02:12:50,750 with seven or eight men every night at the time, 1507 02:12:50,750 --> 02:12:53,042 scheduling was tricky. 1508 02:12:53,042 --> 02:12:56,083 And they all had to have precise appointments. 1509 02:12:56,083 --> 02:12:59,125 F was a good man. 1510 02:12:59,125 --> 02:13:01,833 If he was scheduled for ten o'clock, 1511 02:13:01,833 --> 02:13:06,125 he always showed up around nine and parked down in the street. 1512 02:13:06,125 --> 02:13:08,417 I always smiled when I saw him. 1513 02:13:10,250 --> 02:13:13,917 Often I took pity on him, and gave him a cup of coffee, 1514 02:13:13,917 --> 02:13:16,125 although I was finishing with the one before. 1515 02:13:18,750 --> 02:13:22,250 It's hard to say why I'm choosing to talk about F, 1516 02:13:22,250 --> 02:13:23,917 but he was reassuring, 1517 02:13:24,458 --> 02:13:27,750 and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex. 1518 02:13:28,667 --> 02:13:32,292 No, I'd go even further, and say that there was 1519 02:13:32,292 --> 02:13:35,542 a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex. 1520 02:13:36,625 --> 02:13:41,042 Without words, he knew exactly what I wanted, 1521 02:13:41,042 --> 02:13:44,125 where he should touch me and what he should do. 1522 02:13:45,792 --> 02:13:50,125 The most sacred goal for F was my orgasm. 1523 02:13:51,000 --> 02:13:53,917 Why? And then... 1524 02:13:53,917 --> 02:13:58,042 the swans answered in the same voice. 1525 02:13:58,042 --> 02:14:00,167 And granted him privileges 1526 02:14:00,167 --> 02:14:02,333 none of the others received. 1527 02:14:08,917 --> 02:14:11,125 F was the bass voice. 1528 02:14:11,125 --> 02:14:15,042 Monotone, predictable and ritualistic. 1529 02:14:15,042 --> 02:14:17,042 No doubt about it. 1530 02:14:17,042 --> 02:14:20,708 But also the foundation that is so important, 1531 02:14:20,708 --> 02:14:23,833 even if on its own it doesn't mean much. 1532 02:14:56,875 --> 02:14:58,833 G was quite different. 1533 02:14:59,917 --> 02:15:03,667 The only one I had to, and wanted to wait for. 1534 02:15:04,667 --> 02:15:08,250 When he finally turned up and I opened the door, 1535 02:15:08,250 --> 02:15:10,625 he didn't immediately enter, 1536 02:15:10,625 --> 02:15:13,583 the way a cat doesn't when you let it in. 1537 02:15:13,583 --> 02:15:16,083 As if, once the door is open, 1538 02:15:16,083 --> 02:15:18,208 it has all the time in the world. 1539 02:15:25,083 --> 02:15:27,458 But he was more than a cat. 1540 02:15:27,458 --> 02:15:30,583 He was like some kind of jaguar, or leopard. 1541 02:15:31,958 --> 02:15:34,333 He moved like them, 1542 02:15:34,333 --> 02:15:36,958 which turned me on no end. 1543 02:15:47,750 --> 02:15:50,208 When he laid down on my bed, 1544 02:15:50,208 --> 02:15:52,833 it was clear to me that I should approach him, 1545 02:15:52,833 --> 02:15:54,708 and not the other way round. 1546 02:15:55,292 --> 02:16:00,708 And when I did touch him, it was with some hesitation, 1547 02:16:00,708 --> 02:16:04,125 as his reactions were unpredictable. 1548 02:16:04,125 --> 02:16:07,125 He was in charge. That's the way it was. 1549 02:16:09,500 --> 02:16:11,792 # # 1550 02:16:57,625 --> 02:16:59,958 Despite my success in managing 1551 02:16:59,958 --> 02:17:03,208 the complicated logistics involved with arranging 1552 02:17:03,208 --> 02:17:06,750 up to ten daily sexual satisfactions, 1553 02:17:06,750 --> 02:17:09,583 while also having a full-time job, 1554 02:17:09,583 --> 02:17:12,958 I was still prone to a certain sadness. 1555 02:17:12,958 --> 02:17:15,917 So when my busy life allowed a few breaks, 1556 02:17:15,917 --> 02:17:18,208 I used them to take my walks. 1557 02:17:19,208 --> 02:17:22,667 These repeated walks became a kind of metaphor 1558 02:17:22,667 --> 02:17:25,750 for my life. Monotonous and pointless. 1559 02:17:28,458 --> 02:17:32,167 Yes, precisely like the movements of a caged animal. 1560 02:17:33,750 --> 02:17:36,542 Basically, we're all waiting for permission to die. 1561 02:19:04,208 --> 02:19:05,708 No. 1562 02:19:06,583 --> 02:19:09,625 No, no, no. No, there... 1563 02:19:09,625 --> 02:19:12,375 There are some completely unrealistic coincidences 1564 02:19:12,375 --> 02:19:14,042 in your story about Jerome. 1565 02:19:16,250 --> 02:19:20,083 First, by chance, he hires you as... As an assistant. 1566 02:19:20,083 --> 02:19:21,667 And then you take a walk in a forest, 1567 02:19:21,667 --> 02:19:23,500 and it's littered with photographs of him. 1568 02:19:23,500 --> 02:19:26,458 And not only that... he's present. 1569 02:19:27,500 --> 02:19:32,208 And then like a god, pulls you up to him through the clouds. 1570 02:19:32,208 --> 02:19:35,917 So what? That's the way this story goes. 1571 02:19:36,708 --> 02:19:39,750 And I'm the one telling it, and I know what happened. 1572 02:19:41,000 --> 02:19:42,917 Do you want to hear it or not? 1573 02:19:46,458 --> 02:19:48,208 Goodness gracious. 1574 02:20:00,375 --> 02:20:02,250 What a strange way to meet. 1575 02:20:04,083 --> 02:20:05,083 Yes. 1576 02:20:07,042 --> 02:20:09,083 It's a very strange way. 1577 02:20:09,083 --> 02:20:11,667 Jerome was there because he'd just had a fight 1578 02:20:11,667 --> 02:20:14,708 with his wife, who in anger tore up the photographs 1579 02:20:14,708 --> 02:20:16,958 they just had developed from their travels. 1580 02:20:16,958 --> 02:20:19,708 I don't know if I can believe this. 1581 02:20:19,708 --> 02:20:21,458 Which way do you think you'd get the most 1582 02:20:21,458 --> 02:20:23,000 out of my story? 1583 02:20:23,000 --> 02:20:25,375 By believing in it or not believing in it? 1584 02:20:26,542 --> 02:20:28,083 Yeah, you're right. 1585 02:20:28,083 --> 02:20:29,750 You might have a point with all this. 1586 02:20:33,917 --> 02:20:37,875 The secret ingredient to sex is love. 1587 02:20:42,000 --> 02:20:44,875 The third voice, the secret ingredient. 1588 02:20:45,792 --> 02:20:47,375 Cantus Firmus. 1589 02:22:22,417 --> 02:22:25,708 Fill all my holes. 1590 02:22:27,708 --> 02:22:32,625 # # 1591 02:23:25,000 --> 02:23:26,250 What's wrong? 1592 02:23:26,250 --> 02:23:28,958 Hmm? 1593 02:23:28,958 --> 02:23:32,125 - I can't feel anything. - Huh? 1594 02:23:32,125 --> 02:23:33,625 I can't feel anything. 1595 02:23:36,458 --> 02:23:38,458 I can't feel anything. 1596 02:23:40,708 --> 02:23:43,208 I can't... anything. 1597 02:23:48,625 --> 02:23:53,292 "Fأ¼hre mich") # 112399

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