All language subtitles for Ill.Do.Anything.1994.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H264-FGT.HI.eng

MAN ON TV: The Academy of
Television Arts and Sciences...

MATT: It's too complicated
to get into right now.

BETH: Matt, will you
get in here for God's sake!

Look, Ma, how can I show up?

How can I show up tonight when my
union is boycotting the Emmys?

- Look, I have to hang up.
- BETH: It's on! Right now! Right this second!

Come on or you're gonna miss it!

You're gonna miss it!
You're gonna miss it!

All right, I gotta go watch.

(APPLAUSE)

The nominees for best actor

in a limited series or special are...
Here we go.

Jason Robards,
F.D.R.: The Last Year.

Henry Fonda, Gideon's Trumpet.

(GROANS)

Tony Curtis,
The Scarlett O'Hara Wars.

Matt Hobbs for.

- Caine Mutiny Court-Martial.
- BETH: Oh, you look so cute in that hat.

Powers Boothe, Guyana
Tragedy: Story of Jim Jones.

And the winner is.

Powers Boothe.

(APPLAUSE ON TV) Oh, my!
Damn it!

Damn it!
Damn it!

Oh, look, he even showed up.

(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)
What an act of courage.

Yeah, he was really
good in that role.

You make me crazy!

If you played someone insane

who killed someone by poisoning
a popular soft drink,

you would have won, too!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Yeah, I wonder if they send you
something for just being nominated.

BETH: Of all
the pathetic questions!

Why are you so damn foul
all of a sudden?

(BOOTHE CHATTERING)

Beth, what?

BOOTHE: ...and I believe
in the Academy.

(APPLAUSE)

(SIGHING)

We've been going back and forth on
where we've been heading for so long,

I was hoping that if you won tonight,
it might mean something for us.

Marriage?

Yes.

Look, Beth, the only thing...

Please go fast. I can't take
your dragging this out.

The only thing that I have
against our getting married

is that it might not be fair,

because you... See, I love acting.
I love it so much.

And I'm just gonna stay with
it forever, no matter what.

And, you know, it's okay for me
to put up with the ups and downs,

and the money and all of that,

but it might not be fair to you.

I'm going to tell you something
that I've never told you before.

Your feelings towards your work

are one of the things
I love most about you.

Really?

Well, then we have
no problem here.

Marry me.

(WHISPERING) I was just worried
whether I could make you happy.

(BETH LAUGHS)

(BABY CRYING ON INTERCOM)

(CRYING CONTINUES)

(BETH MIMICKING CRYING)

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Could you get her, honey? I've
got that big reading tomorrow.

No.

I have a busy day tomorrow, too.

I have to borrow
on our Christmas club.

I have to cut out the coupons
from the damn newspaper

so I can go to the store.

Beth. Beth. I don't want you
to worry about money anymore.

Now, I didn't want
to tell you this because

it may sound strange
when I say it out loud,

but you know me,
I'm not that cocky,

but I'm gonna get
Kiss of the Spider Woman.

(GROANS)

I mean, it is
between me or Raul,

and I've never been so sure.

It's weird.

I just know it.

I do.
Huh.

Boy, am I reassured.

What good news.
Isn't that a load off?

I've got a baby girl in there
sleeping in a used crib

who couldn't care less what a
director named Hector Babenco thinks.

Beth, I'm gonna get this part.

Oh, I can't stand this anymore.

(CRYING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?
Matt, this is Beth.

Oh, Beth, I'm glad you
finally returned my call.

Don't sound so self-righteous
about not returning calls.

What are you so mad about?

I'm talking about you!

Taking your share of the responsibility...
You know, Beth...

Beth, you're not the only
one that can scream!

You know, I can
scream too, you know!

(SIGHS)

You know what?
What?

I'm being sort of
a gutless wonder here.

I'm arguing back with you
because I'm embarrassed.

I won't be able to take
the kid when I said.

Beth, now listen. Wait a second.
Listen to me.

You're taking her.
You're taking her.

You're taking her.
Do you know how long...

Beth, I know exactly
how long it's been,

and I feel strange as hell at not
seeing her, but this isn't a choice.

I'm broke. It's a dry
spell in my life.

That's not my problem.

I know that's not your problem,

but it's no place
for a six-year-old.

What can I do?

The only full-time job
I seem to have right now

is not showing how scared I am.

Is that something you're trying
to say particularly well?

No, that's not something I tried
to say particularly well.

Well, it was very well put.
Well, thanks.

But you're still
taking your daughter!

And there's no way...

Beth! Hey!

Look, let me tell you what you are.
Beth! Hey, hey!

Never mind! I'll take her!
Bye! What kind of...

I must get work.
I will take anything.

I must get work!

I must not be embarrassed
by these pep talks to myself!

RECEPTIONIST:
Popcorn Pictures.

MAN: The truck is ridiculous.
Get the Lexus. Get the Lexus.

WOMAN:
It's nuts here today.

RECEPTIONIST: Cathy,
Matt Hobbs on one.

Hi, this is Cathy.

Sure I remember you.
Sure.

Um, just a minute.
I have another call.

(PHONE CLICKS)

Hey.
Hello. How are you?

Hi. Do you know a...

Hey, Shannon!

Don't ever refer to me or any
of us again as "D" people.

We are Development Executives.

There's an easy way
to remember that.

We're what you want to be.
Sorry.

What? Do you know a Matt Hobbs?

Matt Hobbs?
Matt Hobbs?

It does ring a dull
something or other, uh...

He's the guy Redford
played in The Natural.

No, no, no, that's Roy Hobbs.

There is a Matt Hobbs.

If I were you, I would be cautiously
enthusiastic until I figured out who that was.

Hi. Sorry. I was just finishing
a script evaluation, Matt.

So, um, is everything okay?

Good, good.
I haven't seen you since...

The last time we saw...

(STAMMERING) The one time
we saw each other.

Oh! The night
at the acting school.

Sure. Matt, hi.

Actually, uh, I do
know of something

that's starting in a hurry.

Um, they're auditioning
here today.

I can get you in.

No, no. No problem.

Um, yeah.
I'll see you later.

No, no, don't thank me.
You didn't interrupt anything.

This script is beyond awful.

Bye.

(EXCLAIMS)

Even the title, Little Dick,
means so many things.

WOMAN: Story, story,
story, story.

This one you loved, right?

I had some problems.

Like what?

What? It is
a little garbagey.

So? It has to be
cast right.

If Cathy doesn't like it,
we know it's a smash.

Hey.

RECEPTIONIST: Popcorn Pictures.
Please hold.

It's not like
I didn't recommend it.

RECEPTIONIST: No, I'm sorry.
He's not available.

No, I understand, but I
can't interrupt. Really.

If he checks with me, I'll have
him call you as soon as I can.

What did you say
your number was?

You know, I wasn't sure you would
remember me, let alone help.

Stop! You're good.

I am doing them a favor
by getting you in.

Well, that's a fresh slant.

(LAUGHS)

WOMAN: No, no, you're at the top
of the list. I promise you.

Claire, this is Matt Hobbs.

How you doing, Claire?
It's good to meet you.

Same here.

Please.

Hi, I'm George LaForest. I'm
here for the part of Harry.

CLAIRE: Okay.
Have a seat next to him.

Thanks.

Hey.

Um, this is Matt Hobbs.

This is John Earl McAlpine,
our director.

Good to meet you.

Burke Adler, our producer.

Okay, fine.

So, what have you
been doing with yourself

in the last few years?

Look, if you don't mind,
I'm really bad at interviews,

and I'd really prefer
just to read first.

That's the way
you'd like to do it?

Yes.
I see.

Okay, I'll tell you what,
why read at all?

Why don't we just give you the role?
Okay?

You want the part?
We don't have to read.

(LAUGHING) No, no, I'm serious.
Really.

Ah! Very good
in the mini-series.

MARTIN: Yeah, he got an
Emmy nomination for it.

BURKE: You know,
there are all different ways.

Did you know Bertolucci
never reads actors?

Just looks at them, feels around a
little bit and then he decides.

Doesn't read a word.
Well, I also have a way.

I like to interview first,
then I like to read.

Maybe come back the next
day, do it all over again.

I'll call people up
the actor's worked with.

I'll check him out
if he's famous,

I'll do an opinion survey
to see if people like him.

If he's not famous,
I'll put him on tape,

grab anybody I can find
and show them the tape.

That's the way I like to do it.

I believe in screen tests.

I believe in cutting people
out if the dailies are bad.

I believe in replacing people
if the previews aren't there.

Because I don't make movies for theaters
that serve cappuccino in the lobby.

I make popcorn movies.

You want to know what I like, come
to my house, look at my lamps.

That's what I like. But you're
not gonna find it in my movies.

In my movies,
you'll see what I know,

and what I know is detail.

And what I don't know, I discover.
I'll tell you something.

Yesterday we were mixing this
last scene in a movie, right?

Huge field of windmills. Big windmills.
Now, they blow up.

The propellers come loose.
They slice through the air.

One of them hits this
four-story tank of propane gas.

There's this
humongous explosion.

Now, I'm sitting there
going, "Louder!"

"It's gotta be louder,
louder, louder, louder!"

They're saying to me, "We can't make it
louder. There's too much distortion."

We went louder.

See, they discovered a thing, a filter.
I don't know what they did.

But the fact is, we did it.

I don't question.
I just do it.

So if you're asking me
can you do it differently,

you don't want to talk, you
just want to read, I say...

Ask him, he's the director.

Whatever.

Okay. Good. Let's go.
Any questions?

They only gave me two pages.

And I really want to
give this my best shot,

so if I could read the script
and then come back.

The part works tomorrow.

MATT: Okay.

Who will I read with?

Right here.

I'll play Wendy.

Over there, okay?

(CLEARING THROAT)

What? What is it? What are you holding?
What does it say?

WOMAN: They need John for the physical.
They won't wait.

Time for my buns
to have visitors.

All right.
Go ahead.

(LAUGHING) Go ahead?
The director just left.

So? He trusts me.

Anyway, we're just
doing the first page.

Let's start with "I've
been so..." Just...

(SIGHS)

(SNIFFLES)

You know...

God, I've been so messed up.

Maybe all the bad stuff
was in my mind?

Right?

"Okay, darling Harry,
here it is."

"If someone were
breaking up with me,"

"I'd like it short and sweet.
What about you?"

"Incredibly drawn out."

"I can't take care of you right now.
What am I, your mother?"

"What am I, your duck?"

"You know, we've been
together for two years"

"and you act like you're
blowing away some feathers,"

"so what I'm asking you..."

BURKE: You didn't
do the quack.

Huh?

Stage direction says for him to quack.
You didn't do it.

Over there.

(SNIFFS)

Oh, yeah.
But, you know,

why would he quack when somebody
is breaking up with him?

(LAUGHING)

Well, hopefully
because it's funny.

But this isn't a comedy.

Then we're in a lot of trouble,

'cause they're already
fall-down laughing

at the teaser trailer
in 5,235 theaters!

Yes, it's a comedy.

Comedy.

I think I need to make
an adjustment here.

No. You know what?
You're not right for this.

But, Martin, I like him.

I want to bring him back
for something else. Okay?

MARTIN: Okay.

Sure.

Thank you.
BURKE: Bye.

MARTIN:
It was very touching.

WOMAN: Burke wants everybody
starting for the preview. Cathy!

You know, I got all the way to the
car, and I forgot to thank you.

Oh, sure, um, how'd it go?

Well, I didn't get it.

Strange man.

He did say something about
wanting me back, though.

Well, good. His saver is
he means what he says.

Well, I just wanted
to say thanks.

WOMAN: Let's go. He wants
everybody at the preview early.

MAN: I'm coming,
I'm coming.

Don't be sad.

No.

No.

CATHY: So long, Matt.

Oh, that's Matt.
How do you know him?

Oh, uh, well,

I was, uh, auditing
this acting class and...

He filled in teaching one night.

He did a scene himself,
and he was awesome.

For some reason
he just can't get arrested.

Listen. Just listen to me.

BETH: It is very important that
you get here exactly on time.

Oh, Beth.

Very important, Matt.

I'm gonna tell you,
it just makes more sense

if you put her on a plane in Georgia.
BURKE: Hey, you, actor! You!

And I'll be right here
to pick her up.

Absolutely not.
You know what I mean?

I'm so lucky to run into somebody I know.
What's your name again?

Excuse me, I'm on the phone. Matt,
don't have two conversations at once.

Hang up, hang up. Excuse me.
I'm on the phone, please.

Matt, listen to me.
I'm sorry, Beth.

Where's my driver? Why do you think?
If I pick her up,

it's going to end up costing
an extra $480. Hang up.

It's senseless. Please, please.
Hang up.

I said no.
Why are you so upset?

You know, it doesn't
have to be like this.

Please.
Oh, yes, it does.

(MUTTERING) Okay, okay.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Is Jeannie there?

Just be here on time, okay?

Is Jeannie there?

Just be here on time.

Tell her I said hi.

I will. Okay.
All right, so long.

What... (SHUSHING)
I got a crisis!

This kid who's supposed to
drive me is 30 minutes late.

Everybody from my office
is gone.

Now, I have a very big
movie opening.

There's a test screening
in the valley in 45 minutes.

Do you have any idea
how important this is?

Do you know what
I'm talking about?

Is that what this is all about?
You need a lift?

Yes, yes.

Okay, I got my car
right over here.

Wait up.

This is your car?

Yeah.

(CAR APPROACHING)

How late are you?
How late are you?

BOY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. BURKE:
Were you surfing? Not just today.

There's no way you're
ever going to make it.

You are going to fail!

Listen, listen, I know about this.
You're gonna be a failure!

Look, a guy got shot on the freeway.
Traffic was all tied up.

You should leave time
for that kind of thing!

Let's go. You said
you'd give me a lift.

What the hell
are you talking about?

Not in your car.
I got my own.

I'll give you $120 to take me.

And don't worry.
It'll still be a favor.

What do you need me for?
Don't you drive?

Yeah, I drive.

I don't like
to look for parking.

Keep driving.

She runs the test screenings.
Very smart, very...

She's got a real case on me. So far
I've been keeping it in the bank.

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(INHALES)

(GRUNTS)

Hello. Welcome.

The name of the picture you'll
be seeing is Ground Zero.

There may be some scratches.
Some of the colors may be off.

There are no titles,

and it has not been
finally mixed for sound.

And the music is temp.

That means temporary.

So thank you all for coming
and enjoy the show.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

BURKE: Come on.
Here we go.

Nothing good
that happens tonight

will make feeling the way
I do right now worth it.

Nothing.

(GUNS FIRING ON SCREEN)

Please, God, let tonight
give him peace.

Nan, shh!
No prayers.

Forgive my manners.
I'm Nan.

Have you two met?
Yeah.

Good.

(LOUD EXPLOSION)

MAN: Turn it down!
WOMAN: Ow!

Lower it!
That hurt!

Yeah, I'm divorced, too.

Hmm.

Yeah, my daughter's six.

Mine's 11.

Oh, 11, yeah.

She's coming out here.
I'm gonna go pick her up.

Oh, good.

I remember how it was for us

when my daughter and I moved
out here from Washington.

Well, she's only gonna
be here for three weeks.

Oh.

Washington.
Washington?

Boy, that must have been
a big adjustment.

It wasn't that bad.

Both places have
a lot in common.

Over-privileged people,

crazed by their fear
of losing their privileges.

Alcoholism.

Addiction.

Betrayal.

The near total degradation of
what once were grand motives.

The same spiritual bloodletting.

I kind of do miss
the seasons though.

(CHUCKLES)
What?

(LAUGHING)
What?

So how long has it been since
you've seen your daughter?

Oh, a little over two years.

Two years?

Well, my ex-wife insisted
on moving back to Georgia,

and I was in the Philippines
on a mini-series...

Oh, please!

It's one thing to be
a son of a bitch.

You don't have to be
a stupid son of a bitch.

People move heaven and
earth to see their kids.

I don't care if she moved to Pluto.
It's abandonment.

Hey, wait a minute.
We just met.

Oh. I'm sorry.

(CHEERING)

(AUDIENCE GROANING)

(CHUCKLING)

Sorry to bust your chops.

(CHEERING)

MAN: Faster, people.
Faster, please!

Very good. Who else? Yeah, yeah.

All right.

All right, we're running behind
on Hispanics. Let's go, people.

Women over 25. Women under 25.
Past 40.

Males under 25.
Males over 25.

I just never thought
it would do that well.

There were so many holes.

I told everybody it
wasn't gonna do business.

Why am I so public
with my opinions?

You might just be right.

Not with that score.

(MUTTERING)
Here, here.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I got it.

You know,

maybe tonight's the night
I'm losing my entire mind,

but weren't you in Platoon?

That's incredible.

You know, I was only
in there for a minute.

In the rape scene, moving past Charlie
Sheen when I left the Quonset hut.

I had a great scene,
but it was cut out.

But there was that one long
close-up where you seemed,

um, ashamed of yourself,

but still arrogant?

No?

That's exactly
what I was going for.

It was?
Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll take my...

Ooh!

(CHUCKLING)

Thanks.

You read all those scripts?

Beast of burden.

Okay.

So what are you?
Totally wonderful or what?

I...

Oh, good night.

So how come you haven't said anything?
This is great, right?

No.

What no?

The definite recommends are way
off for a score this high.

And even for action-adventure,
it's just too low for women.

But it was such a good score.

I know.

I'm sorry.

And, unfortunately, yesterday's
tracking wasn't...

I'm sorry.

They just don't seem in the mood
for action-adventure right now.

Whoa.

I think it's so wonderful

that you don't worry about
even trying to act strong.

Thanks.

Hey, um,

you wanna eat
something sometime?

I'm, uh...

I'm blushing from head to foot.

Good.

I'll call you.

Maybe I'll come by
the office tomorrow.

Ten, 15 and 20.

Thank you.
Yep.

You know, I was gonna
offer you this regularly,

but I thought
it would humiliate you.

I don't mind
an occasional odd job.

But I can't work tomorrow.
I gotta get my kid.

All right.
Let's go.

I gotta look at the cards.
I'll ride back here.

(ENGINE STARTS)

I shouldn't be long.

WOMAN: Okay.
We'll make your plane.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Hi, are you Matt?
Uh-huh.

I didn't know if we
could wait much longer.

She's a real nut on smoking
anywhere near the kid.

Just... One...

(EXHALES)
Come on in.

You wait here.

Hello.

Hi.

Did you two meet?

(CHUCKLING)
No, not really.

Is she ready?
I have a taxi waiting.

I just have to say
goodbye to her.

You have no idea
how difficult that is.

(LAUGHING)
It's three weeks.

It's not three weeks.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

He doesn't know?

You're not taking her
for a visit.

You're taking her for a while.

Just because you want to go off
with him, doesn't mean I have to...

You're getting the wrong idea.
Oh, I don't think so.

No matter how you put
this, I don't think so!

Hey, look, I'm
a United States marshal.

I'm here because she didn't show up
yesterday to start serving her time.

(EXHALES)

I don't have a choice.

You don't have a choice.

(STUTTERING)

What did she do?

I loved, helped and supported,
in every way possible,

a businessman who committed
the terrible crime

of being financially imaginative
with a pension fund.

Jeannie, come over here.
I want to talk to you.

Okay, there.

Now listen carefully.
Be still.

What's the most important
thing in life to know?

No one will ever love me
as much as you do.

Good.

Now concentrate
with all your muscles

and remember everything
I'm about to say to you.

Don't talk to strangers.
They may be monsters.

Take your vitamins so the poison
in the food can't hurt you.

What else now?
Teeth.

Right! Thank you.

Brush right after you eat

or your gums will start to bleed
in your sleep and choke you.

Beth, Beth, Beth!
Mrs. Hobbs...

What? I'm giving
Jeannie her reminders.

Her reminders? You can't say
things like that to a little girl.

No, don't.
Don't dare.

Don't criticize
the way I mother her

or I think I'll start to
scream and never stop!

Mrs. Hobbs.
Yes?

You know, I've been involved with
this sort of thing for a long time.

You're not gonna
criticize me, are you?

Not in front of him.

Because all he's done is send
Jeannie these long, stupid letters.

He doesn't even realize
she can't read.

He sends letters to
somebody who can't read.

It's almost funny.

I thought you'd
read them to her.

Oh.

The meter's running.
All right.

Can I just have
another minute with her?

Jeannie, Jeannie,
come here. Come here.

That's a very good outfit
you just picked out.

Mrs. Hobbs.

Hi. Hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi.

What have you been telling her?

Okay, love, Mommy's going to help
others who need her for a few years,

and you're going with Daddy,
as I explained.

BETH: Look at me. Don't
step in the street alone.

You don't want to lose a foot.
Remember the story I told you.

Now if someone ever comes up
and offers you candy,

you scream for
the police immediately.

Stranger, danger, Jeannie.
Stranger, danger.

Beginning now, you
must give less value

to your own happiness
and well-being.

Then, hopefully,
you will reach a point

where you give that
no value whatsoever.

Give her everything.

There's no such thing
as spoiling a child.

MARSHAL: Even if you have
to steal to do it?

You don't really want to
mess with me, do you?

No.

MATT: Come on, Jeannie.
We've got to go.

I want to go with you.

Can't, pretty heart.
I'm sorry.

Not even a compromise?

Okay, the compromise will be that
you don't have to ride in back.

What? You can ride up front
with the driver, okay?

Now, remember, Jeannie,
don't talk to strangers.

Don't forget to say
your prayers at night.

Remember God.
He made you.

Can we go, please?

Yeah. To the airport? MATT: Yes.

BETH: Goodbye,
sweetness.

You think of me!

WOMAN ON RADIO: Tonight, Atlanta's
own Attman's Theater for the Arts

presents kids' comedy theater on
Saturday from 1:00 to 5:00...

(WOMAN CHATTERING)

It'll be okay.

I'm your dad, you know,

so it'll be okay.

You and I will make it okay.

You ever ridden
in a plane before?

Yes.

Don't stare at me.

Sorry.

I want to put on
my yellow dress.

We can't get the yellow dress
'cause it's underneath the plane.

Why don't you run under
there and get it?

It's underneath the plane,
so we can't get it.

I want my yellow dress.

Please!
I want my yellow dress!

Jeannie, it's impossible.
It's impossible. Please!

Please, I want it! It's underneath
the plane. We can't get it.

I want my yellow dress!

Please, I want my yellow dress!
Jeannie, please.

Please, give it to me!

(SCREAMING) MATT: All
right, all right, Jeannie.

Jeannie, listen to me. Give
it to me, give it to me,

give it to me, give it to me!
Jeannie, Jeannie.

Jeannie, it's impossible.
It's underneath the plane.

(GRUNTS)
Don't, don't kick the seat.

I want to put on
my yellow dress!

Jeannie.
Give me a compromise!

All right, you want
a compromise?

As soon as we land,
that's the compromise.

ALL: Don't hit her!

(STAMMERING) I didn't hit her.
She hit herself.

Let go, let go, let go!
Jeannie!

(CRYING)
Let go, let go!

(BEEPING)

WOMAN ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the captain has turned on
the fasten seat belt sign.

Please remain seated.

Jeannie.
Jeannie.

Jeannie! Jeannie...

Sir, the seat belt sign is on!

Jeannie, please, we have to sit down.
Sir, please.

(JEANNIE SCREAMING)
Jeannie...

JEANNIE: (CRYING)
I want my dress!

I have no idea what to do.

God.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(MAN SHOUTING)

Okay, partner.

Okay. All right.
What?

WOMAN:
Where you going now?

(DOOR SLAMS)

All right. I'll have you
in bed in a second.

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

MATT: It's cheerier
in the daytime.

Can you read the sign?

(SIGHS)
The Jeannie part.

Oh, yeah.
All right.

(YAWNS)

(EXHALES)

(SUITCASE CLICKS)

Where do I sleep?

I have a sleeping bag...

Or a bed.

Which do you want?

That.

Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Socks off?
Okay, in bed.

Hug?

Hug?

JEANNIE:
Let go.

Let go.

WOMAN: Uh, Mr. Adler, I've given Mr.
Vincent another note.

He knows you're holding.

(GRUNTING)

(HYDRAULICS HISSING)

WOMAN: Uh, Mr. Adler,
he's running late,

and he asked me
to read you this.

"I've gone over
the Ground Zero test scores.

"And I think we must..."
He underlines must.

"Delay the release of the film until we
see the results of the next preview."

"I'm also concerned that the
running time is now 78 minutes."

"I'll speak to you
after the next test."

Sorry.
The "sorry" was mine.

(GROANS)

Monica?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Yeah, is Leslie up yet?

Oh, good. I didn't want you to get worried
when you realized I wasn't there.

I'm, um...

I'm still with that man.

Well, I'll tell you
about it later.

But it sure is nice
to have wobbly legs again.

Yeah, look, today is recycling
day for Leslie at school,

so give her some empty cans.

Well, then dump some soda out.

Yeah, well, thank you.

Yeah. Well,
take good care.

(BURKE WHIMPERING)

Oh, I thought you took off
in the middle of the night.

No, no, I just had to call home.

Is that why you're upset?

No.

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

How you doing?

I'm from next door.

Right across the hall.

And I've seen you in the
laundry room with your kids.

Hello.
So... Hello.

Who are you?

I'm Lucy Grizada.

What's your name?

MATT: Say "Jeannie."

I need somebody to help me
and her on short notice.

You know, I have seen you in
the building with your kids,

and I was hoping you knew someone
that I could leave her with.

I've got a new job that starts now.
Do you know anyone?

Well, I'm always here.

Um, maybe I could do it myself.

Great! Great!

We'll work out
a full-time schedule.

Wait!

Why don't you go in and
meet Ricky and Essa. Okay?

We're gonna make fruit bars.

Why don't you leave her for a
while and then we'll talk?

Sort of a test?

No. Just to see
how it works out.

Uh-huh.

Birdie.

(WHISPERS)
Please behave.

I don't know what we'll do
if this doesn't work out.

So behave, sweetheart.

Behave.

All right. Thank you.
She'll be fine.

(CHILD SCREAMING)

Shoot.

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(CHILD CRYING)

(CRYING CONTINUES)

I'm sorry I bothered you.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Come on, Jeannie.
Let's go.

Come on. Let's go.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, wait. Can I have her
just a little while longer?

My little boy just fell, and she's
the only one he lets hold him.

Your little boy fell. He's
the one that's screaming.

Yes, she can stay.

All right, Jeannie.

Jeannie.

No, no, that's okay.
That's okay.

(CHATTERING ON TV)

MAN: Women over 25, under 25.
Count! So go ahead.

So they moved her
up to first class.

Don't worry.

My daughter used to have fits in
supermarkets when we first moved here.

It's all so perfectly normal.

Plus, I know a great
psychiatric children's group.

No, no, no, no.

What breaks your heart
about Jeannie is that...

She... She doesn't think
anything can help.

She's...

She's lucky she has a daddy
who cares, believe me.

I don't know
if lucky's the word.

You know,

I'm hoping that she's
asleep when I get home

so I don't have
to deal with her.

I'm actually afraid
of my own kid.

(SIGHS) My God.

I've had exactly that feeling
and never said it aloud.

Excuse me, Nan. Here are the cards.
Uh, you could...

Oh, never mind.
I'll do it. Thanks.

MAN: Very good? Fair?

I felt terrible, the way that I blew
up at you when I first met you.

It was really rude. No, please.
No, no, no.

MAN: Quickly! Come on!
Let's count!

I began taking antidepressants when
we moved here from Washington.

I had some side effects.

Sleeping 14 hours, no libido,

I gained 17 pounds in nine
days, that sort of thing.

So they gave me pills to
deal with the side effects,

then pills to deal with the side effects
I was getting from those pills.

All this besides the stuff the
nutritionist was giving me.

The combination formed
some sort of...

Potion.

So I keep telling the truth.
I don't have a choice.

That's why I was so rude to you.

(LAUGHS)
It's true.

Thanks.

Your doctor says this?

Oh, yes.
He's excited.

He's monitoring me
for a while longer

before writing it up
for a medical journal.

Burke's going crazy
waiting for the score.

Okay. All right.
Thanks. Coming!

(CHATTERING)

So, how are you anyway?

Oh, I'm...

It's a tough one, huh?

Me, too.

BURKE:
Hey, Cathy! Come on!

BURKE: Nan, I didn't say... I can
barely hear you. You're getting fuzzy.

- MATT: We're right here at the office anyway.
- NAN: Can you hear me now?

BURKE: Stop right here
so I can hear her, please.

Nan, you're breaking up.

Look, my daughter's home with a baby-sitter
for the first time. I gotta go.

BURKE: Would you wait
one second, please?

I can't hear you.
Back up an inch.

Keep talking, Nan.
NAN: I said that...

I can't hear you. Go forward two inches.
Keep talking, please.

Stop right there!
Go back again.

Nan, you're fading. There! Right there.
NAN: Can you hear me?

You checked over
every card yourself?

Yes, I did.

Did we do well
with any group at all?

Eleven-year-old boys, but there were
only three of them in the audience.

Just three 11-year-olds?

NAN: Honey, I know
you'll feel better soon.

It's only a movie.

Yeah, right. See you.

And I love...

I'm all alone.

At least there's that.

JEANNIE:
I don't wanna go!

Everybody is tired!
You can come back tomorrow.

I want to live with them! I
want to live with those people!

God, let me live there!

Jeannie. Jeannie.

(SCREAMS)

Please, Lucy, don't make me go!

Maybe if she just
stayed tonight.

I love it here so much that...

Daddy says I can stay.

I think it's terrible to
give her what she pleases,

especially when
she acts like that.

Terrible!
I know, I know.

She's gonna think that she
can do whatever she wants.

I know.

All right, you will see Lucy in
the morning. We're going home.

No, I'm not! Stop!

MATT: What is
wrong with you?

JEANNIE: What's wrong
with you?

Don't talk back!
Don't talk fresh!

You promised!
You promised!

You're on
a time-out!

(SOFTLY)
What's that?

That is where you stay by
yourself and you be quiet!

Could I please
just say one word?

No!

One word!

No!

(MATT SIGHS)

JEANNIE: Goodbye,
bunny rabbits.

Goodbye, Georgia.

Goodbye, new training wheels.

Bye-bye,
stuffed animals,

especially Doris.

Goodbye, Ronnie's puppy.

And...

(DOOR OPENING)

What's the matter?
Are you sad?

I don't like that word, please.

Which? Which word?

Sad.

(CLEARS THROAT) You
know, you're in here

because you made a choice
by the way that you acted.

So if you don't like the
way that this worked out,

then next time that
you have to make a choice,

you just think of this.

I don't understand.

Well, I don't either.
I just read it.

All right.

Um... Okay.

I don't feel like being
alone right now, do you?

(WHISPERS)
No.

Okay, let's do
this time-out

together.

Okay.
Okay.

What is the sin that we've committed
that we have to eat take-out Thai

every day of our lives?

(CLEARING THROAT)
Did you bring chopsticks?

Here.

(PHONE RINGING)
Chopstick.

WOMAN:
Popcorn Pictures.

Hey.
Hey.

How you doing?
Good.

You want some?
It's perk.

No, thanks.
I brought my own.

Uh, I'm almost finished with this,
if you'd just give me a minute.

No, no, that's fine.
I'll sit over there.

You want a script to read?

No. No, thank you.

Will somebody take a minute
to look over my casting list

before Burke gets here?

(PHONE RINGING) WOMAN: Popcorn Pictures.
Please hold.

(HUMMING)

(MUTTERING)

This list isn't
so great, Millie.

Well, I wanted to put people on
there we had a shot at getting.

"Jeff Daniels, Ed Harris,

"F. Murray Abraham,
Willem Dafoe,

"Tommy Lee Jones, John
Malkovich." For an action lead?

Does Academy Award stuff
mean anything here?

I mean, could you just take my list
and go down it one name at a time

instead of this general lack of...
Okay, okay.

Let's play State the Obvious.

"Ed Harris."
Losing his hair.

"F. Murray Abraham." Has a nose
as long as an Aspen ski-line.

(SNICKERING) "Jeff
Daniels." Beanpole.

"Bob Hoskins." Looks fur-bearing
when he takes off his shirt.

"Tommy Lee Jones."
Very unfortunate skin.

"John Malkovich"? What
dermatologist gave you this list?

(LAUGHING)
Hey.

"James Spader."
Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla.

"Christopher Walken."
Weird hair.

Where do you put the garbage?

MAN: "Willem Dafoe."
Teeth.

"Gary Busey."
WOMAN: Teeth again.

Teeth again.

"James Woods."
Small head, pointy face.

"Raul Julia."
Bug eyes.

"John Goodman."

(LAUGHING) Bombed
on the big screen.

Bombed on the big screen.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

Where do they find these people?

MAN: Did you say
something?

Yes. Where did
they find you?

What?

Yes. You know,
I always thought

that people in your job had
to have some qualifications.

I mean, forget common
decency for a minute. Okay?

You don't even know that these
people that you're talking about

are some of the best guys alive!

I don't think all the
yelling is necessary.

Yes, it is. And I'm not talking
to you, and I don't like you.

You know, I...

You know, I always had
a firm idea about acting.

That you just shut up and act.

And I always believed that you forget about
all the crap that you can't control.

But, you know...

My God, man!

I mean, where did they find you?

I...

Okay, okay, okay. All
right, you know, I know.

It's a business.

And nobody ever put
a gun to anybody's head.

You know, nobody put it
up there and said,

"Okay now,
you've gotta act."

But, you know, doesn't somebody in
your job still have to have at least

some dull feeling of respect for people
who really do know what they're doing?

I mean, don't you have
to know something besides

how to pose for this picture
of you that nobody's snapping?

Hey, why don't you just
mind your own business?

Well, because, man, because
you're minding my business!

And that's the problem!

The hell with this.
I'm really sorry.

No, no, no.
Take my seat, please.

(SNICKERING)
Don't hit me.

I'm not gonna hit you.

It's not your fault,

this stupidity of yours.

You're just a scared little shit
that gets to say he's making movies.

And the only thing that
they ever taught you

is that what you really
like doesn't matter.

I didn't mean you.

If you didn't,
you sure should have.

(SIGHS)
I'll take that.

Oh, thank you.

What? What is it?

I've been...

I just got this feeling,

seeing myself talking
to you and...

Like this is the most
important moment of...

Ever.

Okay, good.
What is it?

(EXHALES)

I've been watching
this company make movies

that cost tens of
millions of dollars.

And all the while, I have known

about this wonderful script,
which we somehow own,

and we could make
for about 14 million.

Three million if you can live
without stars or a name director.

That's it?
Send me the coverage.

I have sent you coverage
on it nine times!

(SOFTLY) I'm sorry.

I swear to you, Burke,
it'll work.

You have never
heard me say that.

Oh, really?

How about last night's preview?

I don't know anything
about action-adventure!

Uh, I have no idea
where that came from.

(CATHY SIGHS)

Look, I know that everyone thinks that
I don't have any commercial sense

because of what I said at that
Gremlins preview and all.

And you think that I can't
put myself on the line.

Well, if this picture
doesn't work,

fire me.

Have me killed if it
doesn't get good reviews.

If this picture doesn't get a 70% definite
recommend from women 49 and under,

I promise to be your sex slave
until they drop ticket prices

back to five bucks and start
enforcing the "R" rating.

You're selling very excellent.

Very excellent presentation.

You

gotta do this for me.

I think this movie
could save me.

Oh, please.

What's the script?

Mr. Deeds Goes To Town.

A remake.

Yeah.

JEANNIE: I would like
you to look at this.

You're being poopie.

Jeannie!

Thanks, Lucy.

Say goodbye.

Say goodbye.

Jeannie, say goodbye.

Why wouldn't you look at
the way I dressed Ricky?

I had a real rough day.

So I don't want to talk about it.
Just let it sit there.

ANSWERING MACHINE: You have
no messages at this time.

(SARCASTICALLY)
What was so rough?

Tell me.

Compromise.

Are you sad?

Yes.

Now I really need to be quiet.

You!

I know what will cheer you up.

♪ You are the best. ♪

♪ You can do everything. ♪

♪ You can be everything ♪
♪ you want to be. ♪

♪ You are a smile. ♪

♪ You are a rainbow. ♪

♪ You were created so perfectly. ♪

♪ Sometimes we laugh. ♪

♪ Sometimes we cry. ♪

♪ Sometimes we hurt inside ♪
♪ and don't understand why. ♪

♪ We're only human. ♪

♪ We make mistakes. ♪

♪ Sometimes it seems like only ♪
♪ other people get the breaks. ♪

♪ Hey. ♪

♪ You're the best. ♪

♪ Don't you worry. ♪

♪ You're not your friends, ♪
♪ you're not your mother. ♪

♪ You're not your father ♪
♪ and you're not your brother. ♪

♪ Don't let sadness ♪
♪ get you down, just... ♪

♪ ...and that's the best ♪
♪ anybody can do ♪

♪ Don't let sadness ♪
♪ get you down ♪

I'm stupid!

I can't even remember the words!

No, no, no, listen to me.
You're not stupid.

I am stupid.

I can't even remember
the words to some baby song.

(PHONE RINGING)

MATT: Hello?

Matt, they may let me finally
make a movie I love!

(EXCLAIMING)

And I think you're
perfect for it, too.

JEANNIE: (WHISPERING)
Who is it?

Me? Well, uh...

Is it Lucy?

Well, this is great. Okay. I'll come
right over and pick up the script.

CATHY: No, I'll get
your address from Claire.

Okay.

Can I just talk?

If you like,
bring it right on over.

CATHY: Okay, fine.

Let me talk!

We might make it yet, kid.

MATT: I let you wear your cape and crown.
Now, come on!

JEANNIE: Why can't I stay
just a little while?

Because this is a very
special friend of Daddy's

and I need the privacy.

Now, be fair!

I let you wear that dress!

Hi, come in.

I want you to meet my
daughter, Queen Elizabeth.

Boo!

Jeannie, this is Cathy.

Hi. What a
pretty dress.

(WHISPERS)
Thank you.

Thank you.
That's nice.

Are you going to a party?

Hey, Dad, am I going to a party?

No, you're going next door.

Jeannie!

Do you remember our compromise?

You're gonna go next door to
Lucy's, and you're gonna play.

And you're gonna
show them this dress.

And then I'm gonna come
by and get you later,

and we'll go out and we'll buy you
anything you want for under $17.

I remember.

Goodbye.

I love you very much.

Well, thank you!

(WHISPERS) Say thank you.
Say thanks!

Thanks.

JEANNIE: Now say,
"Thanks, Jeannie."

MATT: Thanks, Jeannie.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

MATT: Go on inside.

What a little winner, huh?

Thanks.

This is my favorite project.

Good.

And it looks like we're
going ahead with it.

Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, huh?
Oh, it's a remake.

Well, come on.
Well, it's original.

This is a wonderful rewrite.

It's funnier.

And there's a part in it for...

Yes. Burke says I can
test whoever I want.

He wasn't even surprised
when I mentioned you.

So if you could read this now,

and if you like it,
we can make a test deal.

Okay. Which part?

Longfellow Deeds.

(CHUCKLES)

Mr. Deeds?

Who goes to town, yeah!

I just can't wait to hear
what you think of it.

I mean, who are we kidding?

I'm even having trouble
getting short parts.

I'm gonna say that I love this no
matter what you've done to it.

Stop being so creepy honest.

I really have an instinct

about you for this.

I'm going home.

Call me when you finish
reading it, or...

You know, just come on over.

For luck.

For luck.

(DOOR CLOSING)

(BOTH GASP)

Oh!

I mistimed it.

I wanted you to catch
me fully frontal.

(CATHY CHUCKLES)

So, the script?

It's really good.

I get a little nervous thinking
about the opportunity.

Well, I want to hear everything.

Should we go through
it page by page?

Okay.

(STUTTERING)

If it's okay...

I kind of...

I kind of work on
these things in private.

It's just that it's
a little better for me

if I don't...
If I don't...

Okay.

No, it's okay.
It won't kill me.

No, no, really, please.
I do understand.

I'm just not that fragile.

No, no, no, no.

(WHISPERS) Let's go.
Yeah.

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHING)

You look so serious.

I am so serious.

Good.

(PHONE RINGING)

I get a lot of calls.
I'm a phone person.

(ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS)

MAN: Cathy, you were supposed to be
here an hour and five minutes ago.

Maybe you think a one-month
anniversary is silly. Goodbye.

You know something? Maybe we
should start seeing other people.

Oh!

(PHONE RINGING)

(ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS)

WOMAN: Hey, Cath, pick up,
pick up, pick up. Great news.

Oliver Stone's movie
just fell apart.

He's going crazy. Perfect
timing to send him Deeds. Bye.

Oh, guess who's gay?
Call me, bye.

Is this the kind of crap
you listen to all day?

Please, we're making love here.

(PHONE RINGING)

(BOTH MOANING)

JEANNIE: Daddy?

Daddy? Where is he?
Lucy, you dialed wrong.

LUCY: Matt, you left this number.
Are you there?

Jeannie misses you and is upset

because you're not here to
watch TV like you promised.

I think all daddies should keep
their promises, Matt. Bye.

(DIAL TONE DRONING)

I'm sorry.

(PANTING)

It's all right.

Is there a name
for what we just had?

No.

Just tell me what made you rush
over and pick me up at my office

and bring me here at 6:00.

We seem to have this
unspoken agreement,

not to talk about why we're
together when we're together.

And I don't think it's good to let
that become a pattern for us.

Come on.

Why did I rush over to see you?

Uh, well...

Um...

Well, I had the urge to

be with someone.

You were the closest.

What's wrong?

You're not at all aware that
you've just said something

unattractive?

I'm sorry if it came
out the wrong way.

I'm not looking for an apology.

"Closest."

One of the things I'm not
great at is expressing...

Let's not make this
about your shortcomings.

I'm sure you've had enough of those
conversations to last you a lifetime.

What I'm trying...
No, I haven't.

No, you haven't what?

Had conversations
about shortcomings.

No woman has ever told you

that you have an almost
barbaric insensitivity?

That you seem to have lapsed
into some final cynicism

where you actually believe that not only
does everyone think the way you do,

but only you have
the courage to express it.

That you seem horribly certain

that everyone else is sort of
pretending when they talk about love.

Or seem to care for anything
outside their own anus.

No one's ever said that
sort of thing to you?

Yeah, I heard that.

But I didn't know that's what
you meant by shortcomings.

If you think this way,
what are you doing here?

I'm here for the same reason

that 86% of older women
love Beauty and the Beast.

I would like to believe
that underneath the creature,

there's a sweet, caring guy.

I sure hope you're wrong.

No.
I'm kidding.

Come on.
I have to pick up Leslie.

Oh, come on.
No.

Come on!

Stop making me feel bad.

Okay.

(DOOR CLOSES)

You know, this is awkward,
me driving you around

and then going in to
test for you tomorrow.

Not really.

Well, I can't drive you to work
tomorrow and then go right in and test.

It's okay.
I'm coming in late tomorrow.

I'll get one of the kids
to drive me.

Thank you.

And, look, if I get
the lead in this movie?

Yeah?

You have to go back to sitting up
front with me when I drive you.

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

Very good!

Hey, Kenny?
Yeah, baby.

Did you hear I was in
the hospital last week?

Matt, should we run lines? Yeah.

For food poisoning.

Food poisoning?

I thought that I would die.
"What's wrong?"

Guys, they're ready for you.

Okay, so, Matt, they're ready.
I went to the hospital.

Lily, ready for you.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Is he fabulous?

Do you always wear your hair...

Is he out there?
Yeah.

They couldn't pump my stomach.

You can't keep...
Underneath?

You want more powder
under there?

If that will be good for
you, it's good for me.

How's that? Good?

Yeah.
Yes.

Where's Jeannie?

Jeannie's fine. I'll
never eat there again.

Well, I hope not.

They're all ready for you.
All right.

How many men are testing today?

You're the only one.

Well, well, all right.

In that case, tell
them I need more time.

No, actually, I'm finished.

No, I mean for me. I want
to focus a little more.

Oh, okay.

Matt?
Yeah?

The thing they're
looking for most is sexy.

You know who she was involved
with for a minute or so?

Who?

Hey, hey, hey, uh,
you guys, you know, uh...

I really need to
be alone right now.

'Cause I need to focus a
little, so if you don't mind.

Is that all right?

That's fine.
MATT: Thank you.

Focus a little.

Ken.

Have you seen the pastry truck?
Has that guy been by?

No, he's always late.

WOMAN: Let's focus
on a Danish.

I can't remember. You're too pretty.
You're...

I can't remember.
You're too pretty.

Oh, I told them
I could be a chairman.

No, that's a lie.
Oh, I tell them...

I told them I'd
tell her the truth.

I told her I'd keep
on being chairman.

Uh, oh, I told them
I'd keep on being chairman.

Oh, I told them I'd keep...

I told them that I'd
keep on being chairman.

You know, you know...

You know I am chairman.

Sexy, sexy.

Sexy. I am chairman,
you know.

Oh.

(EXCLAIMS)

BOY: I'm so nervous, Mom.
WOMAN: It'll be okay.

I forgot everything.

Get out of my way!

Don't say it like that!

How should I say it?

Get out of my way.

Or, get out of my way!

Or, get out of my way.

Wow.

No, I'm doing my name.

J-E...

Hey, hey!

Hey, it felt great!

Tell me!

Great!

Let him finish. God!

I want to tell him!

If you wait one minute,
I'll let you.

♪ I can't wait to tell him, ♪
♪ I can't wait to tell him. ♪

Anyway, the girl I did it with?
She's really good!

And the director, the crew,
we all felt we nailed it.

♪ I can't wait to tell him, ♪
♪ I can't wait to tell him. ♪

♪ I can't wait to tell him, ♪
♪ I can't wait to tell him ♪

Now?

Uh-huh. Wait'll you
hear this one.

Yeah.

WOMAN: Who's next?

MAN: Tell them
you liked the script.

MATT: Excuse me.

WOMAN: Just be yourself,
honey, but remember to smile.

Some lady asked me to go in a
room and you know make-believe,

and say stuff like
we were playing a game,

and everybody
went "Yeah!"

And they said they wanted
me to be on television!

♪ And give me money. ♪

♪ And have a teacher there. ♪

♪ And a person to braid my hair. ♪

♪ And color my face ♪
♪ and give me clothes ♪

They said that they
want you on television?

Yeah.

Come here.

Uh, just sit right here
for one second, okay?

♪ And give me money. ♪

♪ And have a teacher there. ♪

Excuse me.

She auditioned for a TV show?

Yeah.

Come here.

JEANNIE: ♪ And give me money. ♪

♪ And have a teacher there. ♪

♪ And a person to braid my hair and ♪
♪ color my face and give me... ♪

Do you actually think you can have my kid
audition for a show without asking me?

I didn't!

She went for water, and by the time she
got back, they had offered her the part.

Blame Burke.
He was there.

What's the part, anyway?

(SIGHS)

It's, um...

A white kid in a multiracial foster home
with all these kids of varying ages.

It's not a bad show.

I can't wait to see the test.

How did they test her so fast?

No, they offered it to her off the reading.
I meant your test.

Oh.

Offered off the reading.

Child actor.

Just what any kid with problems
needs to straighten out.

A series of her own.

You'll let me know as
soon as they see my test?

Right away.

You've got my vote.

MATT: I'm not changing my mind.
I've thought about this.

I'm doing it.

Uh-uh.

Back up a bit.

Do I have to learn to read
to be on television?

MATT: You have to learn
to listen to me.

I'm doing it.

Not if I don't let you.

That's the law.

Police law.

(GROANS)

All right, just listen to me.

I don't like listening to you!

You talk too much!
Why? Why do you?

Because I know about this.

I have worked with kid actors,

and they don't have
that much fun.

You know,
they're inside all day.

They don't get to go
to regular schools.

And they don't play with regular
friends like Ricky and Essa.

And their parents.

Do you think that I am going to be one
of those parents that sits around

in one of those little rooms...

You're cuckoo anyway!

I won't do it!
And I don't care!

Because I'd be
stupid at it anyway!

Pick it up, Jeannie.

We don't throw things here.

Take it out of the trash.

Take it out of the trash.

Come here.

Let's work on it.

MATT: So when you play a
part, the character is you.

So anything you think
or feel will be right.

You can't make a mistake.

And once you get that, then you can relax.
You really feel...

I'm really thrilling you
with this, aren't I?

Come on.
Let's get off the bed.

Let's do the scene where
they say "I love you."

Get off the bed.
Come on over here.

JEANNIE: I don't want to do
that "I love you" again.

Why don't you do that
with poopie Cathy?

(WHOOPS) Look.
My hair's so pretty.

(WHOOPING)

My hair's so pretty.

Look, I'm pretty.

Barbie.

(WHOOPING)

WOMAN: Come on, Deeds.
Tell me about the meeting.

I can't remember.
You're too pretty.

Oh, all right, darling.

DEEDS: I told them that I
would keep on being chairman.

WOMAN: I know.

Do you always wear your
hair back like this?

DIRECTOR: Cut.
He's so good!

(CHUCKLING)

Beautiful!

DIRECTOR:
Great, very good.

Gee, are you good.
Oh, thanks.

Okay, let's have our
creative meeting right here.

Well, I'd sure go to bed with her.
Very fuckable.

MAN: I'd bone her.

What about him?

I think he's a very good
to excellent actor.

Mmm-hmm.

But there's something...

You wouldn't go to bed with him.

Well, six years ago, maybe.

CATHY: Everything
doesn't boil down to...

I like that shy thing
he was going for.

He's talented and attractive.

So you'd go to bed with him?

He, um,

might be a little
light in that area.

The man is talented.

Let me stop you before
you embarrass yourself!

We all can do our little lectures
about what things boil down to.

Everybody else here was
professional enough to say,

"I'd go to bed with him, I
wouldn't go to bed with him."

You're ducking it.

So let's cut out the acting stuff
and focus on what's important.

You know, we do have some kind of
responsibility to the audience.

So, you've just seen
the screen test, okay?

Your job aside, would you,
yourself, go to bed with him?

Would you, Cathy?

I'm being real now.

No.

Okay, then we keep looking.

Well, that's standing up to him.

CATHY: I'm fine.

I'm right outside my office.

Good, give the phone to him.

Hello, Matt.

Oh, okay, sure.

Matt?

Matt.

Matt!

Maybe it would be easier
if I just said hi to her?

Okay, here she is.

Hi.
Hi.

Yeah, it's exciting, isn't it?

No. No, no,
he's right, honey.

They get somebody
to read it to you.

Can you put your dad on?

Yes. It's important.

No, put your dad on first.

Damn it!

Rude.

Hello?

Hi, Matt. Uh-huh.

A few hours ago.

They all, uh...

Everyone liked your work, but...

You know, I think they'll
go for a name or something.

(SIGHS)

You know, I...
I could do...

I can do it with
more humor, if...

No, it's not a matter
of doing it differently.

They liked what
you did a lot, and...

It's not you.

It's them.

I want you to know that I
really hung in there for you.

Really. I fought hard.

Well, gee, Cath, I want to thank you
for giving me a shot, you know?

No, don't thank me.

If you feel like getting
together later, or anytime.

Yeah.

Give me a call, okay?

It sounds like you have
your hands full right now.

Bye.

Daddy?

(SNIFFLES)

Daddy?

Everything's okay.

I'm sorry. I forgot to put
you back on with Cathy.

You didn't cry because of that.

I didn't even want
to talk to her.

(WHISPERS) Dad,
can I say one thing?

Yeah.

You've got to make me supper.

(JEANNIE HUMMING)

Okay, here we go, kids.
On the set, please.

Set?

That pretend living
room right over there.

Set. Bye-bye.

Wait, wait, Jeannie,
Jeannie, Jeannie.

Let Daddy give you a big kiss.

No, I have to go to work.

Is this the set?
That's the set.

Thanks for trusting me.

I love you, I love you. You're
the world's greatest mom.

I owe you everything.

Bye, honey.

You just told me she was sad.

No, I never said
for you to look sad.

Okay, okay, wait.
No, come on.

Let me figure out how
to tell you what I want.

I know what you want.
What?

You want that Jackee thing.
Oh, no.

That very colored thing.

No, way over the top.

Cop to it.
Yes, you do.

A little would be fun.

JEANNIE: Dad!

Daddy!

What? What? Come on.

There's this trouble.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Look, she's just very worried

about being able to pretend
cry when she has to,

and she doesn't get it
about memorizing,

but that's all.

That's all?

Come here.

This isn't going to be good.
I can't do it.

Yeah, well, not
with that attitude.

It's just that... Did they
tell you what an audience is?

Can you help me to cry?

Yes.

Yes, I can.

I can help make it okay.

Trust me.

JEANNIE: Now I can't even
understand what you're saying!

Do you know what trust means?

Not very.

It means that if something
is hard to believe,

you believe someone you trust

because you know he wouldn't
say it unless it were true.

You don't make sense!

I don't understand you.

I think you do.

Just know that I'm gonna be here
for you whenever you need me.

I will always...
Okay!

I think you do.

We look like jerks
eating here at this hour.

Everybody's gonna think we couldn't get
a reservation during the hot hours.

Hey, great to see you!

Can't remember her name.

Why do you do this to yourself?

What?

Why do you insist on
eating dinner in a restaurant

where you're bound to see all
the people you're afraid of?

I'm not afraid of them.

What do you call it when you think that
what a group of people thinks of you

can confirm or destroy any decent
idea you have of yourself?

Normal.

How did little Jeannie do today?

Isn't it something? They've got
you testing my new TV show.

What I asked was
how did Jeannie do?

What are you talking about?

Somebody else.

Jeannie.

How did she do?

(SHUSHING)

Don't talk to me like this.

I want to be treated as if I'm
really saying words to you,

which you engage and respond to.

I like Matt. I'd like to
know how his daughter did.

So before you start working
this room desperately,

and I end up feeling
so sorry for you I could die,

I would like you to answer my question.
How did Jeannie do?

She did okay! All
right, that's all.

No, no.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

It's heating up.

Don't go.
Don't worry.

I'm not that mad.

I gotta go do this.

(WHISPERS)
That son of a bitch.

How are you?
Nice to see you.

Lovely wife.
Yes.

The smartest guy in town.

This is my wife.

You, too.

How are you?
See you later.

(LAUGHING)

The world's funniest man.
Bye-bye.

My hand.

Where you going?

What's the matter with you?
Where you going?

Hi, Victor, how are you?

Jack. This is Nan.

Jack and of course,
his lovely wife, uh...

Elisabeth.
Elisabeth.

And of course...

Oh, you know, come up
with the great carpets.

Stacy.
Stacy!

This is Nan.

Victor, I called
you yesterday...

I'm sorry I can't talk now.

I'm very upset about
what's happening to Burke,

so I just made up my mind that I
can't be witness to it anymore

if I love him.

And I certainly shouldn't
be here if I don't,

so I was just
in the process of leaving

when he stopped me
and you folks walked in.

I'm sure you've had something
like this happen to you sometime,

some horrible thing in your
personal life happening in public?

Thank you for understanding.

Goodbye.

I wish only good things for you,

even though I feel I've been very
damaged by this relationship.

Uh, I...

Wasn't that spectacular?

VICTOR: I've never seen
anybody that secure.

Fantastic.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?
BURKE: Nan.

Yeah?

I hope I'm not calling too late.

I'd like another chance.

You only think you feel that way
because you're on the verge of failure

and you're without a core.

See? No one
else gets me!

(SIGHS)

Um...

Do you wanna have
a little sex, huh?

You know, I've never hung
up on anybody in my life.

Because what if the next thing
they said solved everything?

But I must end
this conversation.

That's no?

Hello? Nan?

GIRL: I'm so nervous, Mommy.

WOMAN: You'll be fine.

Are you gonna need me?

The kids are rehearsing upstairs, and
I'd like to go up and take a look.

Yeah, sure.

I have to stay inside
during lunch hours now anyway.

That's when everybody returns my calls
'cause they're trying to miss me.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Thanks for the support.

What's the most important thing
you do when you're acting?

You listen.

Listening.
Right.

You're really worried about being able
to cry when you're supposed to, right?

Right.
Okay.

Well, you know, there are only two
ways to do a thing like that.

One is to think of something
that really makes you sad.

Or two, forget you're you, and really
forget that you're pretending.

(SIGHS)

How do you do that?

Okay, you, uh...

I could eat you for lunch
when I was your age

and I'm a hell of
a lot bigger now!

That's it.
That's it!

Do you see how it scared
you and you reacted?

Now in acting, that's called
action, reaction. See?

Don't do that again.

(LAUGHS) All right.

Jeannie, they need you, honey.

Come on.

Hurry up.
Let's go.

MATT: You're welcome!

Come on, baby.

MATT: You're welcome.

You're welcome.

(DOOR OPENING)

What's wrong?
Well...

To heck with it.

I'm a free man. Let's go to your house
and break the answering machine.

You know, I could
get away right now.

No. I've got a big
meeting later. Uh...

We'd better take two cars.

(PHONE RINGING)

I hope it's you.

You're a little nutty
in the afternoon.

So this is how the big
ones make out, huh?

So what's new?

You know, this is the biggest bonus I
ever got out of a busted screen test.

Someday you'll have
to show it to me.

Sure.

No, no, I don't want to see it.

I'm just trying to figure out how to get
it out from under my skin. Forget it.

Matt, will you take me
off the speaker?

Sure.

What's the matter?

CATHY: Better talk fast. This is
where my phone always kicks out.

(STATIC BUZZING)

Matt, before someone
else tells you,

I'd better confess something.

When we did your screen test...

(PHONE CRACKLING)
Can you hear me?

Yes.

I sort of folded
on you at the end.

Matt?

You didn't like what I did?

No, I did, truly,

but the discussion
got sort of dumb.

It was a question of sexiness.

Oh, oh.

You folded on whether
or not I'm sexy.

You don't think I'm sexy?

And you expressed that to...

Well, I tell you, I certainly
must think so pretty much

because I feel great about
where we're going now.

Oh.

You very mad at me?

Oh, no, no, it's just that, you
know, I know that you were...

Oh, God!

Oh, I'm... Yeah.

Yeah, I am, damn it.
Damn it, I am.

Matt!

Matt!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(CAR HONKING)

CATHY: I know.
MAN: Come on!

I don't know if I've been bad,

but I know somebody's been bad.

I'm a good kid.

(KIDS CHATTERING)

Comb your hair.
Learn your lines.

I don't know if I've been bad,

but I know somebody's been bad.

Maybe it's you.

(GROANS)

I won't be able to do it.

Parents, please? Parents, parents?
Thank you.

Remember, when you're
in the audience,

be sure you laugh and applaud,
even if it's somebody else's kid.

Please try to follow the rules.

They're really very simple.

You're not allowed
near the stage, okay?

Now, if you haven't
signed a contract,

be sure that before you leave
this building tonight,

that all your
paperwork's done...

You're not allowed
near the stage.

Hey, you're not allowed
near the stage.

MAN: How's everybody
doing tonight?

We are excited today. We're
here to see The Rainbow House.

I just found out that we
bow before we do anything.

Great!
Then everybody claps!

Great!

I made up a great bow.
Are you going to look?

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
Yes?

Yes!

What's wrong?

I won't be able to cry.
It's too hard for me.

Oh, look, they'll give you a lot
of chances after everyone leaves.

You'll get to do it over and over
till you get it right. Don't worry.

Okay?

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

It is my pleasure now to introduce a
bunch of very talented young actors.

Let's start off with the
charming Heather Deloach.

A big round of applause
for Heather.

DJ Dellos!
Let's get him out here.

Brittany Johnson!

Matt!

Here is Tricia Joe!

Matt!

I don't want to miss
her introduction.

I'll talk fast.
It's amazing news.

Oliver Stone's been looking for a
comedy, and he's doing my picture!

Good for you.

No, but part of this
involves you.

He remembers you from Platoon,

and he wants to use you
in this one.

Got your attention, huh?

MAN: And now I'd like to introduce
a very special young girl,

Jennifer Cabrera!

Oh, Cathy.

Look, I'm going to watch this.

Let me talk to you
later or tomorrow.

MAN: Jeannie Hobbs!

It's really good news.
I gotta go!

What show is complete
without twins?

Alissa and Danielle Dowdy!

Oh!

I missed it!
I missed it!

I promised her I'd see it
and I missed it!

Get a grip.
She'll recover.

Just stop worrying about it.

I mean,

my father never saw any of
my things when I was a kid.

Oh, this looks intense.
Excuse me.

Good luck tonight, Matt.
I bet it'll be great.

Oh, thank you. What's going on?
What are you doing?

MAN: We'll start the show
in a couple of minutes.

She's wishing me luck
because of my kid.

Oh.

Why are you doing this to me?

Is it because of that
screen test thing?

No, I don't think so.

Well, don't be like this!

I mean, especially since anyone in the world
would have done the same thing I did.

(CHUCKLES) I don't know.
It's a big world.

Look,

I don't have a kid
or a mate or a talent.

I've got my work and I am not gonna
apologize for thinking it's important.

I am being real here, Matt.

You're not going to make me
miss one minute of this show.

I am late for three
things now too,

two of which are really
important, and I am taking the...

Don't miss them.

I couldn't help overhearing because
I was intentionally eavesdropping.

Don't feel bad.
It's not your fault.

It's not?
No.

It's just that he's
too good for you.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MAN: Get Kate in here, and then
you can have your favorite food.

What is your favorite food?

Carbohydrates!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

You're lucky you
already got to do yours.

Yeah.

When the light goes on,
you go in, okay?

WOMAN: I said stop.

Will you stop?

I want all you kids out. Clear out
so I can have a talk with her.

Nan?
Just a second.

WOMAN: Just sit there
and wait till I sign this.

WOMAN: Okay, time to do this!
Everybody, out!

Not you, fool.
And not you.

BOY: Go easy on her.

Now, you gonna hear
what I have to say,

and I'm gonna listen
to what you have to say.

This is as much about me
as it is about you.

Now go ahead.

Say what you got to say.

BURKE: What do you think?

Wait, wait. Listen.

Stop rocking.

Now what's going on?

It's like everyone's pis...

Ticked off at me

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

because I'm not colored!

The word is "black."

The word is
"African-American."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

What do we do with a new word?
We use it in a sentence.

Go ahead. Use African-American
in a sentence.

(SIGHS)

(WHISPERING) This is
where she has to cry.

Look at me! I...

They should cut.

(SNIFFING)

I love an African-American.

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

I love a little redneck.

What?

No.

(LAUGHING)

It's okay, Jeannie. We just need
to get that hug at the end.

Amazing.
Amazing, right?

You were great.

Do you want me to put you down?

No, this is okay.

Okay, you have some
more work to do.

You have to go hug the lady
just like you did me.

Wait.

I'm very proud of you.

I love you more than anybody.

(WHISPERING)
When I had to cry,

I was thinking of someone
taking me away from you.

Give me a kiss.

MAN: All right, we're clear.
We're not done yet. Come on.

(KIDS YELLING)

I can't hear you!
You're a grownup!

My ear is bleeding!

(ALL YELLING)

Hey, Jeannie!
You did it!

Do you have any idea
how special you were?

That looks like a yes.

Gotta get dressed for the party.

There's more?

BOY: The party's
on the roof!

(GIGGLING)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Wait a second.

I wanna see my kid!

They're taking the cast picture
now, so just wait for one second.

Nan...

She doesn't look like the
women I normally go out with.

But you know what
they say. Beauty fades.

What they don't say
is it fades very slowly.

Huh?

You don't think I can
tell you what to do.

No, no!
Only I can do that.

I want you to tell
me what to feel.

This Oliver Stone thing,
does he really want me?

Yeah.

Oh, I forgot to say
congratulations.

Which part?

Which part do you want?

One of the two leads
wouldn't be bad.

No. It's the crippled
factory owner.

Best part in the movie.

Jeannie?
Smile!

Smile.

Yeah, Mom!

(MATT CHUCKLING)

(JEANNIE LAUGHING)

Daddy.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Why are you breathing so heavy?

I'm nervous!

Look, let's move our thing
in a more regular direction.

What does that mean?

Let me think.

Why don't we go
out this weekend?

With your kid.

Whose name is...

Leslie.

Okay.
Okay.

I was right?

(NAN CHUCKLES)

NAN: Jerk.

Last ones here?

I told you.

What did you think of my bow?
I didn't see it.

I know that!

Well, don't push.
Show it to me.

Oh, all right.

Hey, I got a part in a movie.

JEANNIE: Oh, good. Don't you
just love it when that happens?

Yeah, I guess I do.

♪ You are the best ♪

♪ You can do everything ♪

♪ You can be everything ♪
♪ you want to be ♪

♪ You are a smile ♪

♪ You are a rainbow ♪

♪ You were created so perfectly ♪

♪ Sometimes we laugh ♪

♪ Sometimes we cry ♪

♪ Sometimes we hurt inside ♪
♪ and don't understand why ♪

♪ We're only human ♪

♪ We make mistakes ♪

♪ Sometimes it seems like only ♪
♪ other people get the breaks ♪

♪ And give me money ♪

♪ And have a teacher there ♪

♪ And a person to braid my hair ♪

♪ And color my face ♪
♪ and give me clothes ♪