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1
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:13,147
("Lucky Girl" by Cato
Salsa Experience)
2
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,642
VOICEOVER: You're
watching The Diamond Zone,
3
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,811
America's top adult network.
4
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,180
Up next...
5
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,581
Hey, hey!
6
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,948
It's Diamond Jim here,
7
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,451
ready to rock your world.
8
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,319
Lock the door.
9
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,454
Throw the tarp on the couch and
10
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,424
get ready, it's time for
the Diamond Jim Marathon.
11
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,959
WOMAN: Woo!
DIAMOND JIM: (laughs) Yeah!
12
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,330
It's a scrapbook of
some of my hottest hits.
13
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:13,334
Including Cheerleader
Debutantes 3: Gettin' Wet,
14
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:17,238
Debutante Nurses 9:
Missionary Impossible,
15
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,339
and, of course,
16
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:21,542
Candys Sriper Cutey
14: You've Got Tail.
17
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,744
So, join all your
favorite stars,
18
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,546
including Autumn Bliss.
19
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:26,747
Give me a T!
20
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,650
Give me an A!
21
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,951
DIAMOND JIM: Daphne Cheeks.
22
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,621
(gasps) I'm so wet! (giggles)
23
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,389
DIAMOND JIM: Suzi Diablo.
24
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,790
(whip swooshes)
Submit.
25
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:40,228
And, of course, the hottest
piece of ass known to mankind,
26
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:40,994
Bambi.
27
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,530
I'm all yours.
28
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,698
But wait, there's more.
29
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,600
Start dialin' that phone,
30
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,903
'cause one of you lucky bastards
could be the next winner
31
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,005
of one of these bitchin' prizes.
32
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,975
How 'bout a leather
barcalounger?
33
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,645
Treated with Tru Stain Guard,
(phone rings)
34
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:01,382
or, an '86 Fiero.
LESTER: Come on.
35
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,384
DIAMOND JIM: Saline
racing package
36
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,353
and bumper bra. (laughs)
37
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,387
Come on.
38
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,256
The granddaddy of 'em all.
39
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,592
The vintage Diamond
Jim Porn Booth.
40
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,927
Signed by me, Diamond Jim.
41
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,464
All your dreams come
true right here.
42
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,532
Sit back, relax...
LESTER: Hello?
43
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,000
Awesome.
(door chimes)
44
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:20,701
VOICEOVER: What's your name?
45
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,803
Uh, me, Lester Watts.
46
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,804
W-A-T-T-S.
47
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,839
(bell rings)
48
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,441
Uh, I'm a boxers man.
49
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,009
Average size, pry, you know,
50
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,379
(coughs nervously) five
and seven eighths inches.
51
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,680
But it's really wide.
52
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,348
Devastating girth.
53
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,617
Last night, or this morning,
54
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,951
and, like, 20
minutes ago at lunch.
55
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,488
And a pack of smokes.
56
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,723
If I had to choose, uh,
57
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,893
probably nipple
clamps over strap-on.
58
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,297
Tapped?
59
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,233
What else do I like.
60
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,869
Fucking sixth graders!
61
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,606
VOICEOVER: Gross.
62
00:03:58,672 --> 00:03:59,940
No, no, no, no, that's
not what I meant.
63
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,442
Hello?
64
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:02,843
Hello?
65
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:06,046
God!
(phone slams against counter)
66
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,415
God!
67
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,484
Hey, man of the hour, what's up?
68
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,352
How'd it go?
69
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,185
I got it.
70
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:12,786
LESTER: What?
CARL: Yeah.
71
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:13,487
You just got it?
72
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,322
And it was beautiful.
73
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:17,725
I just sat down, eye to eye,
74
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,327
and the guy caved on everything.
75
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,463
Huge raise, fat
title, sick office.
76
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,597
The works.
77
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,098
Tracy, how'd she take
it when you told her
78
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,967
you were leavin'
her daddy's firm?
79
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,602
No, no, I haven't, uh,
80
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,603
you know, I haven't told her.
81
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,339
Oh, Jesus Christ, man.
82
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,006
You're not giving
her enough credit.
83
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,875
You know, she's a great girl.
84
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,877
Alright, and she wants
what's best for me.
85
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,912
Because that is
what's best for us,
86
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,349
for the Tracy Carl unit, and...
87
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,417
(spits)
88
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,489
Did you just say to me
the Tracy Carl unit?
89
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,690
Bro.
90
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,492
I've had your back since
the bloody asphalt days
91
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,427
of third grade dodge ball.
92
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,863
Tim Wheatley hit you in
the face with a basketball.
93
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,830
Knocked you out.
94
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,065
What did I do?
95
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,600
I held him down and
farted in his mouth, Carl.
96
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,369
I know, and I appreciate that.
97
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,503
You know I appreciate that.
98
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,372
I know what's best for you.
99
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,106
And, if I was about
to cut my balls off,
100
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,975
I hope that a good friend
101
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,778
would stand up and tell
me that I'm an asshole.
102
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,480
So, Carl, as a friend,
103
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,547
you're an asshole.
104
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,582
Lester.
105
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,550
I promise, everything's
gonna be okay.
106
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,485
Alright?
107
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,790
It's gonna be fine.
108
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,726
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
109
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,062
Leaving Daddy's firm after
all he's done for you, for us.
110
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,498
Well, yes, I know, but...
111
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,532
The wedding.
112
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,801
It's a hundred grand.
113
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,868
Who's paying?
114
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,404
Oh, that's right, Daddy.
115
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,070
Honeymoon?
116
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,072
Ding, Daddy again.
117
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,408
Well, he's very generous.
118
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,543
I just don't understand why
you'd want to leave anyway.
119
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,578
My brothers love it there,
and so does Uncle Larry.
120
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:45,646
And Mommy comes by everyday
121
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,515
with a healthy, homemade
nutritious lunch
122
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,517
you claim you just love.
123
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,553
That is, unless
you've been lying
124
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:53,821
to me.
125
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,722
Hmm?
126
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,591
Little liar.
127
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:58,759
Are you, Carl?
128
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,694
I am not a liar, I love
your mother's cooking.
129
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,495
I just think that I...
130
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,630
Carl, sweetie, you've just,
131
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,797
you've got to have an
open mind about this,
132
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,935
and realize that leaving
Daddy's firm is simply
133
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,036
not gonna happen.
134
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,671
Okay, baby?
135
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,139
End of discussion.
136
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,010
Is the filo okay, though?
137
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,579
Hmm, a little cold.
138
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,513
Whoops.
139
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,590
Mm.
140
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,558
Mm, mm-hmm.
141
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,661
That's a good choice.
142
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,895
You know what?
143
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,465
You don't even have to tell me.
144
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,667
I wanna guess, is that okay?
145
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,135
You sat down eye to eye and
you folded like a little bitch.
146
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,437
Am I wrong?
147
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:47,140
So you got the same title,
no raise, shitty office.
148
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,075
What did you call it?
149
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,009
The works!
150
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,513
It's Monday morning,
welcome to Hell.
151
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,483
I mean, why is she so
mad at you all the time?
152
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,150
I mean, c'mon, bro.
153
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,152
I think you're the one that
should be pissed, my friend.
154
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,055
I was thinking that maybe
155
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:05,058
I should buy her something,
you know, that's special,
156
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,194
but, also, creative.
157
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,631
Ooh, like, get her a retard
with a box of crayons.
158
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,032
With one of them sharpeners,
so he can sharpen it
159
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,836
and then take the shavings
and put 'em all over his face.
160
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,004
You're going to Hell.
161
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,171
Well, you know what, no,
I'm not going to Hell.
162
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,073
Retards love crayons.
163
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:22,543
What are you doing?
164
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,376
No, no, no, no,
don't be that guy.
165
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,145
I'm not calling her, alright.
166
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,213
Who are you callin'?
167
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,548
I'm calling to
decline the job offer.
168
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,917
Don't be rash, okay, you
don't have to call right now.
169
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:30,951
Give it the weekend.
170
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:31,752
Why give it the weekend?
171
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:32,953
I mean, what is the point?
172
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:33,921
What's gonna happen this
weekend that's gonna...
173
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:38,058
(knocking on door)
(dog barks)
174
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,861
(curious music)
175
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,532
(wood creaks)
176
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,666
(panel slams on floor)
177
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,735
(gasps)
178
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,072
Um.
179
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,508
Did you buy this?
180
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,546
I don't know.
181
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,747
I've been pretty blackout drunk
182
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,048
for the last week and a
half, thanks for asking.
183
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,249
But, no, I feel like I won it.
184
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,686
I vaguely remember
calling some sweepstakes.
185
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,655
I hope I didn't buy this.
186
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,956
This thing's priceless, I
couldn't have bought it.
187
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:09,923
I couldn't afford this.
188
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,058
Really?
189
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,926
And I'm the one who
has to rethink my life.
190
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,161
Yeah, you do.
191
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,165
Let's plug this sucker in, huh?
192
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,268
This is a piece of
history, my man.
193
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,670
I mean, this is how they
kicked it old school.
194
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:23,771
There was no internet back them.
195
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,504
Just grab a roll of
quarters, get on in,
196
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,673
and get your horn off.
197
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:29,109
Thanks for the history
lesson, plug it in, huh?
198
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,112
(static)
(booth whirs)
199
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,246
It works.
200
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,247
CARL: It seems to, yeah.
201
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,584
Let's check it out.
202
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,886
(Carl scoffs)
C'mon!
203
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:39,953
It's like a time machine,
204
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,021
taking you back to
porn's glory days.
205
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:45,859
Uh-huh, why am I
longing for those days?
206
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:49,296
This is a vintage Diamond
Jim porn booth, okay?
207
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,931
You know who Diamond Jim is.
208
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,132
No, I don't.
209
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,302
Think Spielberg, okay.
210
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,138
That's the kind of influence
that this man had on porn.
211
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,608
I mean, before Diamond Jim,
212
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,375
porno was dark and
dirty and hairy
213
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,278
and Diamond Jim just
changed everything.
214
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,681
DJ made porn fun, okay?
215
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,651
And fun is something that you
are sorely lacking these days.
216
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,752
Any fun that's left in you
217
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,754
is gonna be sucked
out by you know who.
218
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,122
Alright.
219
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,123
And not from your (whistles)
'cause she doesn't do that.
220
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,258
That's inappropriate,
she's a lady.
221
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,326
Get in the porn booth Carl,
222
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,293
and I'll show you
some real ladies.
223
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,031
CARL: That's great.
LESTER: Yeah.
224
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,800
LESTER: Carl.
CARL: What?
225
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,868
Trust me, get in the porn booth.
226
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,069
I'm not gettin' in there.
227
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,705
It's vintage, that means
used, used means sticky.
228
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,373
I'm not gettin' in there.
229
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,241
You don't like sticky?
230
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,408
No.
231
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,476
You don't mind sittin'
on the couch. (chuckles)
232
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,647
CARL: You fowl...
LESTER: Let's go!
233
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,849
LESTER: Carl, trust me.
234
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,258
Pick your flick!
(porn music)
235
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,763
CARL: Wow, someone had
a real thing for nurses.
236
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,230
They're nice people.
237
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,767
Okay, Carl, they're helpers.
238
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,403
Holy shit, Sorority Surprise?
239
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,739
That's insane, no
way, no, no, no, no.
240
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:06,874
Why?
241
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,175
Sorority Surprise,
you never heard of it?
242
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,376
I never have.
243
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,912
It's Diamond Jim's
experimental masterpiece.
244
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,346
It was an epic,
days in the making,
245
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,215
only to disappear off
the face of the planet.
246
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,285
Some people say Diamond Jim
went insane trying to finish it.
247
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,287
Other people say it was
the two scoops of cocaine
248
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,855
he put on his Raisin
Bran every morning.
249
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,356
But, here it is.
250
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,393
Hey, bud, pick your flick.
251
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,828
This will put a
smile on your face.
252
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,162
I bet it will.
253
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,999
Alright.
254
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,333
Let's get it on.
255
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,906
Are you doing that?
256
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,074
(dramatic music)
(booth rattles and knocks)
257
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,743
What is happening,
why is it happening?
258
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,044
When will it stop?
259
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,113
Stop this shit!
(dog barks)
260
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,247
Dude, bail!
261
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,019
(screams)
262
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,062
(coughing and gagging)
263
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,966
Whoa, that was intense.
264
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:07,801
Are you okay?
265
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:08,936
I think so.
266
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,138
Man, where are we?
267
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,405
(police sirens wail)
Carl!
268
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,340
Carl!
269
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,779
(porn music)
270
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:20,748
Freeze!
271
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,481
Put your hands up!
272
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,916
I said freeze!
273
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,885
Get your hands up.
274
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,419
You want us to freeze
or get our hands up?
275
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,387
Shut up, punk.
276
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,189
Brittany, frisk 'em.
277
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,459
Jeez!
278
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,198
I think we have a
concealed weapon here.
279
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,232
It's not what you think.
280
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,902
Is that booze I
smell on your breath?
281
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,773
I'm sorry, officer, we did
not do anything wrong here.
282
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,407
BRUNETTE COP: Oh yeah?
CARL: Ow!
283
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,442
How's malicious
jaywalking sound?
284
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,778
With intent.
285
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:51,879
Made up.
286
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,081
No, really, officer,
how do I know you?
287
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,382
And you, too, college?
288
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,416
I mean, I really
didn't go to college.
289
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,717
I used to deal weed there.
290
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,219
I didn't really deal weed
there, but I'm just sayin'.
291
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,520
How do I know you, AA?
292
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,955
Silence.
293
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,924
(spray fizzes)
Oh my God!
294
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,126
(screams)
295
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,866
(gasps)
296
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,235
Are those regulation uniforms?
297
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,537
VOICEOVER: Any available
please head down south.
298
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,872
Please head down south.
299
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,042
VOICEOVER: Detective Cannon,
strip search in room one.
300
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,444
(porn music)
301
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,064
(chair clangs on floor)
302
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,868
You wanna cop to
or walk the block?
303
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:51,371
'Cause Rod Cannon has
got the numbers on you.
304
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,305
And good.
305
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,277
(scoffs)
306
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,212
I get it.
(pounds table)
307
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,148
That's the book on you, huh?
308
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,984
That's the book on you,
smart guy, talkin' the talk?
309
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,886
Well, listen up, and
you better listen good.
310
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,021
You better check wise,
311
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,857
and sing the rumble.
312
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,024
Or before you know it,
313
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,525
you might find yourself
on the rub out highway
314
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,161
to Nowheresville.
315
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,402
That was the gun, son.
316
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,973
You don't wanna see the cannon.
317
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,078
Get this dumb mug
outta my sight.
318
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:35,415
(chair clangs across floor)
319
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,716
(door slams)
320
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,652
VOICEOVER: We have a wet
spill in the supply closet.
321
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,323
Attention janitorial,
we have a wet spill.
322
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:48,161
Well, well.
(porn music)
323
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,030
What do we have here?
324
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,034
Just another piece of meat, mm.
325
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,403
I...
326
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,072
(sharp slaps)
327
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,014
Another outburst like that,
328
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,983
and I will send you
straight to the hole.
329
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,985
Uh...
(baton whooshes sharply)
330
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,653
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
331
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,322
Just listen, okay?
332
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,290
All I know is I'm hangin'
out with my buddy,
333
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,960
and the next thing you
know there's lights
334
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,062
and then there's sound.
335
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,364
And then we slam into
the ground, okay?
336
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,033
There was cops.
337
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,234
Titty cops!
338
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,202
(sharp slap)
339
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:32,005
Then they kicked me in the
balls and they maced me.
340
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,474
And now I'm here,
that's all I know.
341
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,244
You think I haven't heard
that one before, do you?
342
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,112
(porn music)
343
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:43,183
(women shout in the background)
344
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,427
(footsteps)
345
00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:01,068
VOICEOVER: Officers Amanda
and Shauna to the first floor
346
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,936
for prisoner release.
347
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,242
You better get used
to it, bitches.
348
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,178
You're the fuckin' bitch.
349
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,245
Bitch.
350
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,214
Shut up, you stupid bitch.
351
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,149
Why don't you make me, bitch?
352
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,219
(screams and yowls)
353
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,255
Don't hurt her.
354
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,660
Wait a minute.
355
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,399
Have we met somewhere
before or somethin'?
356
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:33,666
I don't know.
357
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,403
I see punks like you every day.
358
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,373
Oh my God.
359
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:42,709
You're
360
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:47,614
(snaps finger)
Suzi, Suzi Diablo.
361
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,548
Look.
362
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:53,553
We can either do
this the easy way,
363
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,089
or we can do it the hard way.
364
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,293
Wait a minute, I
know the answers.
365
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,429
I know the next line.
366
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,031
SUZY: Yes?
367
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,332
Could it get any harder?
368
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:06,066
Oh yeah.
369
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:11,171
(porn music)
(moaning)
370
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,573
I think it just did.
371
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,541
Bingo.
372
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,078
(screaming and moaning)
373
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:25,185
(porn music)
(moaning)
374
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,119
Oh.
375
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,156
(moans)
376
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,434
You guys wanna...
377
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,270
'Cause it's opened.
378
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,671
No, we're good.
379
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,408
You're good, yeah.
380
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,315
(fabric rips)
381
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,350
One way or another,
382
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,852
you're gonna tell me
what I want to know.
383
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,090
Even if I have to
suck it out of you.
384
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,192
Oh, I'm not talkin'!
385
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,526
I'm not talkin'.
386
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,262
You can't get me to talk.
CARL: Lester.
387
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,230
Hey Lester.
(exciting music)
388
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,764
Oh my God!
389
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,233
What is he doing here?
390
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,234
Uh, baby, it's okay.
391
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,368
That's my buddy.
392
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,103
Dude, you don't understand.
393
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,870
She needs information.
394
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:18,871
I can explain.
395
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,373
Well, that's great,
explain later.
396
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,541
C'mon, c'mon.
397
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,243
You can't get away.
398
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:27,046
I'll track you down
until I get what I want.
399
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,784
CARL: Let's go, let's go, c'mon.
400
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,719
Excuse me!
401
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,792
(people talking and laughing)
402
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:44,197
("Out on the Streets"
by Bang Camaro)
403
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,666
Oh my God.
404
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,502
(screaming)
405
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,772
(girls shouting)
406
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,174
What?
407
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,844
(girls talking and laughing)
408
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,853
(coughs)
409
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,592
(engine revs)
410
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,228
(tires squeal)
411
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,229
This way.
412
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,670
(tires screech)
413
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,607
This is all my fault.
414
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,909
Don't sweat it, sista.
415
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,644
We're gonna track
house to house.
416
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,713
We're gonna bag those plugs,
417
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,582
before the blue plate
hits the counter.
418
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,616
Yeah?
419
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,751
Oh yeah.
(porn music)
420
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,820
(moans)
421
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,325
Whoa!
(record scratches)
422
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,794
(record scratches)
423
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,262
Can it, chippy.
424
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,231
Can it.
425
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,734
Rod's always here for the
takin', you know that.
426
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,536
But, with these punks,
427
00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:01,341
these mugs, these goofa loofa
doofa loose in my engine.
428
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,643
It's track one for trouble time.
429
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,245
Okay.
430
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,679
I think.
431
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,614
Okay.
432
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,948
(engine revs)
433
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,684
(tires squeal)
434
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,791
Oh my God, I am so wet!
435
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,931
(screams) It's so cold!
436
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,367
Ooh, and now I'm way
wetter than you are.
437
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,901
Nuh-huh, I'm way wetter.
438
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,603
Woo, girls!
439
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,704
Now you're both wet.
440
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,473
Alright, let's take a vote.
441
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,375
ALL: Yes, Mrs. Bliss.
442
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,409
Who's wetter?
443
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,310
Brandy
444
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,645
or Mandy?
445
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,648
(giggles) I wanna play!
446
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,950
(laughter)
447
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,288
Woo, now you're the wettest!
448
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,792
Have you ever seen
anything like this?
449
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,461
Yes.
450
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,463
Yes, my friend, I have.
451
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,032
This is the opening scene
of Dirty Talking Coeds.
452
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,934
Alright, that's enough of the
jokes, I'm serious, alright?
453
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,102
Bro, this is not a joke.
454
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:06,406
And I don't even know
how to be more serious.
455
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,840
And, like, wow.
456
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,777
This is definitely the
wettest I've ever been.
457
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,844
Excuse me?
458
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,915
(gasps) Like, wow.
459
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,018
This is definitely the
wettest I've ever been.
460
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:19,952
(curious music)
461
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:20,887
What?
462
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,791
Yeah.
463
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:25,525
That chick, back at
the police station,
464
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,527
her name is Suzi Diablo.
465
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,861
She's a porn star.
466
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,631
She's a black belt in S&M,
she's nothin' but trouble.
467
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:32,965
And this girl...
468
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,768
Alright girls!
(girls scream)
469
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,305
Her name is Autumn Bliss.
470
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,840
She's the den mother
here at Tri Pi Sorority.
471
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,008
She keeps the girls in line.
472
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,577
Dirty little hussies.
473
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,613
And her, that there
is Daphne Cheeks.
474
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,480
The blonde one.
475
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,981
She's a water sports specialist,
476
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:49,982
if you know what I'm sayin'.
477
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,751
It's one of my
personal favorites.
478
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:53,553
And in 5, 4, 3, 2...
479
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,824
(rock music)
480
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,329
That is Bambi Cummings.
481
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:07,600
She is the best
of the best, Carl.
482
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,635
I'll take that, Bambi.
483
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,569
Thanks.
484
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,473
Hi, girls.
485
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,274
GIRLS: Hi, Bambi!
486
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,310
Hi, Bambi.
487
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,413
End of story.
488
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:23,583
Carl.
489
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,753
I think we have to seriously
consider the possibility
490
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,488
that we died back there.
491
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,390
We got electrocuted
in that booth
492
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:33,726
and now we've somehow
made it to Heaven.
493
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,095
Praise Jesus.
494
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:36,963
No, no.
495
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,466
This is just a bad, drunk dream.
496
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:42,369
And, any minute,
I am gonna wake up
497
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,504
and everything will
be the way it was.
498
00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:46,639
Well, not exactly.
499
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,040
Diamond Jim.
500
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,142
In the flesh, my friend.
501
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,812
And, please, call me DJ.
502
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,046
DJ, please, tell my this is
503
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,482
some sort of dream or something.
504
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,684
Or, are we dead?
505
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,051
Well, the answer's yes and no.
506
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,453
Told you.
507
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,554
See, it's like this.
508
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:02,822
On the one hand,
509
00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:05,792
you've taken on an
alternative form of existence.
510
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,595
Which could be construed as
some sort of a dream-like state.
511
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,431
But, on the other hand, since
you physically traveled here,
512
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,499
you no longer exist back home,
513
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,401
so, technically,
you're considered dead.
514
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,735
Yes!
515
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,670
But, not really, 'cause
you're here, and you're alive.
516
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:18,938
Huh?
517
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,072
So, wait, wait, wait.
518
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:22,008
Are you saying that we
519
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,078
have traveled to some sort of
520
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:29,682
alternate porno flick dimension?
521
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:33,185
Or perhaps, if you
will, a Pornoville?
522
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:36,423
Well, if it looks like porno
and, uh, smells like porno.
523
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,558
It must be porno!
524
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,492
Oh yes!
525
00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:42,028
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
526
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:44,697
No, no, no, no, no,
this is not happening.
527
00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,599
Oh, it's happening, Carl.
528
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:49,469
You see, you were brought
here for a reason.
529
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:52,171
And, like any great journey,
530
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:55,908
the true adventure is
figuring that reason out.
531
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:56,909
Or somethin'.
532
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,111
Cool, I love
meaningful journeys.
533
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,379
If you could just do me a favor
534
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,750
and point me in the direction
of one of those, um,
535
00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:04,851
dimension altering porn booths,
536
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,853
and I'll just make my way home.
537
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:10,056
Carl, you don't punch
your ticket home
538
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,459
until you complete your journey.
539
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:13,826
No fast-forwarding.
540
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:14,961
You dig, son?
541
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:16,996
Now, here are the rules.
542
00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:17,930
Listen up.
543
00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:21,601
There are none! (laughs)
544
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,202
Shut the fuck up, no way.
545
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,037
Wait, now, hang on.
546
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,405
Is there one?
547
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:29,876
Shit, I don't remember, hey,
548
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,478
do whatever the hell you want.
549
00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:32,879
It gets better, huh?
550
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,080
But, uh, boys?
551
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,815
Piece of advice.
552
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,617
Just keep it simple.
553
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:40,787
(laughter)
554
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,790
Oh, he's gone.
555
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,091
Freak.
556
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:49,061
Okay, so, we can't hide
out here in the open then.
557
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,197
Um, hey, we can hide up there.
558
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,899
They have an attic up
there that they never use.
559
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:53,966
How do you know?
560
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:55,768
Because, in Coed Cupcakes 9,
561
00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,970
the girls have a seance
with a vibrating Ouija board
562
00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,673
that they think is haunted by
a ghost with a 20-inch schlong
563
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,041
that they call the
Cockness Monster
564
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,945
that lives in the attic
that they never use.
565
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:07,947
Oh, I should've been a
better friend to you, huh?
566
00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:08,815
Yeah.
567
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:09,549
Great.
568
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,583
Alright, fine, let's go.
569
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,619
Okay, but first, we
have to hide here
570
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,920
for five more minutes.
571
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:14,954
Why?
572
00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,924
They're about to
have an orgy, bro.
573
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:20,927
Fine, let's go.
574
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:23,530
("Out on the Streets"
by Bang Camaro)
575
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:27,500
(girls laughing and squealing)
576
00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,105
Huh?
577
00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:36,909
This is hilarious. (laughs)
578
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,011
Look at this.
579
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,013
CARL: What?
LESTER: Check this out.
580
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:41,948
Oh shit!
581
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:46,553
Why do they need all this
desert, I don't understand.
582
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,255
(girls giggling)
583
00:24:58,898 --> 00:24:59,899
Ooh la la!
584
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:01,734
God, that was fun.
585
00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:04,070
I know, and we've
only just begun.
586
00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:05,004
Woo!
587
00:25:06,405 --> 00:25:08,274
Look at what I've got.
588
00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,779
Little whipped cream.
589
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:13,813
(squeals)
590
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,247
Mm, any chocolate
to go with that?
591
00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:16,182
Maybe.
592
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,051
That feels good.
593
00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:21,287
Ooh.
594
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,222
Don't forget the
cherries, girls.
595
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,257
BOTH: We won't, Mrs. Bliss!
596
00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:26,859
Here, lick that.
597
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:27,794
Mm!
598
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:32,298
Mm, you're my favorite
sundae, yummy.
599
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:33,232
Here.
600
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:36,903
(giggling)
601
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,550
Hey, no, no, no, no, no.
602
00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:53,219
Lester, we gotta
go, we gotta go.
603
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,420
They forgot the cherries, Carl.
604
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:57,156
They forgot the cherries!
CARL: We gotta go!
605
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:59,892
They forgot the cherries!
606
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,027
We gotta go!
607
00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:01,961
Compose!
608
00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:03,963
Compose.
609
00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:08,701
(tense music)
610
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:13,773
(girls giggling and talking)
611
00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:17,710
Oh yeah, extra, extra.
612
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:18,377
I'll bring Mr. Booboo.
613
00:26:18,444 --> 00:26:20,680
Oh, good idea!
614
00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:22,882
I'm gonna take a shower.
615
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,757
But I always take showers.
616
00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,007
Oh yeah, I forgot.
617
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:51,678
(giggles) You're silly!
618
00:26:58,384 --> 00:27:00,219
You can change in
here if you want.
619
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,790
Ooh, um, how about we
meet in the shower?
620
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:06,726
Okay. (giggles)
621
00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:14,967
("Push Push" by Bang Camaro)
622
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,783
* Oh
623
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:47,800
* Oh
624
00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,342
* Ooh, come on
625
00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:58,745
* I wanna take you higher
626
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,446
* Ooh, come on
627
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,415
* Let's make electric fire
628
00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:07,086
* Push push lady lightening
629
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:09,188
* Push
630
00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:11,991
* Push
631
00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:15,795
* Push push lady lightening
632
00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:17,897
* Push
633
00:28:17,964 --> 00:28:19,899
* Push
634
00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:24,737
(door slams)
635
00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:28,307
(screams)
636
00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,444
Who are you, and what are
you doing in my closet?
637
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,480
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I can explain.
638
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:35,748
Yeah, you better, or
I start screaming.
639
00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:38,084
No, no, don't scream, don't
scream, please, please.
640
00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:40,987
Um, okay, I came
here in a booth.
641
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,322
A movie booth, but
it's not a movie booth,
642
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,793
it's a time portal
dimension jumping...
643
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,095
You sure you wanna hear this?
644
00:28:49,161 --> 00:28:51,497
Oh, I'm quite sure, mm-hmm.
645
00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:56,368
Quality control, ma'am.
646
00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:59,839
Uh, I have been
inspecting these items.
647
00:29:02,308 --> 00:29:04,410
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to seize them all.
648
00:29:04,476 --> 00:29:05,344
What?
649
00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:08,180
Even Mr. Booboo?
650
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:10,516
Oh, especially Mr. Booboo.
651
00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:14,320
So, you're from outer space?
652
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:19,391
CARL: Uh, no, not exactly.
BAMBI: You gonna eat me?
653
00:29:19,458 --> 00:29:21,894
I'm not, no, no, I'm not
gonna do anything to you.
654
00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:24,463
I just, I need to go home.
655
00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:25,531
Oh.
656
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:27,399
Gee, mister.
657
00:29:27,466 --> 00:29:31,137
Are you absolutely positive
you have to take all of them?
658
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:32,839
Absolutely sure.
659
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:35,307
Well, are you sure there's
660
00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:38,444
nothing I can do to
change your mind?
661
00:29:40,346 --> 00:29:43,950
Well, I, uh... (laughs)
662
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,354
I'm sure that, uh...
663
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,421
(giggles)
664
00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:50,356
I, uh...
665
00:29:52,358 --> 00:29:54,493
(giggles)
666
00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:05,337
(growls)
667
00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:06,505
(sighs sensually)
668
00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:07,373
(hisses)
669
00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:08,240
(gasps)
670
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:12,411
(growling, hissing, and moaning)
671
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:22,354
And where did you land here?
672
00:30:22,421 --> 00:30:24,924
I dunno, there was an alley.
673
00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,993
And, um, we got arrested.
(tires squealing)
674
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:29,461
I mean, everything was
just happening so fast.
675
00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:32,932
It looks like things aren't
slowing down any time soon.
676
00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:35,434
(tires screech)
677
00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:38,037
(porn music)
678
00:30:45,611 --> 00:30:46,812
Oh no, that's that guy.
679
00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:49,181
That's that crazy detective
guy with the toothpick,
680
00:30:49,248 --> 00:30:50,182
and I don't know
what he's saying.
681
00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:51,583
Yeah, that's
Detective Rod Cannon.
682
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,485
He always gets his man.
683
00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:54,987
You guys gotta hide.
684
00:30:55,054 --> 00:30:55,787
You gonna help us?
685
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,389
Of course, silly. (giggles)
686
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:58,524
Oh, thanks.
687
00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,060
(squeals)
688
00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:03,262
(giggles)
689
00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:05,631
(screams)
690
00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:07,599
Daphne, you gotta hide
these two and quick!
691
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:08,935
Rod is here.
692
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:09,768
Rod Cannon?
693
00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:11,170
The long schlong of the law?
694
00:31:11,237 --> 00:31:12,171
Rod Cannon?
695
00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:16,408
Did he interrogate you?
696
00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:17,609
Yeah, kinda.
697
00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:21,213
Oh, shit, bro.
(squeals)
698
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,616
You do not wanna
be caught by Rod.
699
00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:27,319
He always gets his man.
700
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:28,620
If you know what I mean.
701
00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:30,489
I usually don't
know what you mean,
702
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:32,724
and it's no exception right now.
703
00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:35,127
(panting)
704
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,566
(knocks on door)
705
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,368
Well.
706
00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:47,739
If it isn't Rod Cannon.
(porn music)
707
00:31:47,806 --> 00:31:49,508
Afternoon, Mrs. Bliss.
708
00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:51,510
What can I do for
you today, Detective?
709
00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:53,312
Official business.
710
00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:54,213
Rod.
711
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:59,718
You know boys aren't allowed
upstairs without an escort.
712
00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:03,122
Like I said, sweetie,
it's official.
713
00:32:10,062 --> 00:32:11,197
He's coming.
714
00:32:12,198 --> 00:32:14,933
(excited music)
715
00:32:25,211 --> 00:32:26,078
(knocks on door)
716
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,080
Open up, police.
717
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:29,281
Hey, guys.
718
00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:30,216
What's up?
719
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,685
Step aside, please.
720
00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:35,521
I need to have a look see.
721
00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:36,455
In there.
722
00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:39,025
Cool.
723
00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,592
Something wrong?
724
00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:43,095
Well, that's confidential.
725
00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:44,030
Mm.
726
00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:45,998
Awesome.
727
00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:47,466
Have fun.
728
00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:48,400
Okay.
729
00:32:55,774 --> 00:32:56,842
So.
730
00:32:56,908 --> 00:33:01,080
You girls seen anything
out of the ordinary?
731
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:02,014
Mm-mm.
732
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,052
(giggles)
733
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,321
Somethin' funny?
734
00:33:10,589 --> 00:33:11,690
DAPHNE: No.
735
00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:12,291
BAMBI: Rod, is there
something we should be
736
00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:13,992
worried about?
737
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:19,198
I'm a workin' man, cupcake.
738
00:33:19,265 --> 00:33:21,767
So, that's Detective
Cannon to you.
739
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:24,170
And, please, I'm the one asking
the questions here, missy.
740
00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:25,237
You understand?
741
00:33:25,304 --> 00:33:26,105
(vibrator hums)
742
00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:26,772
Turn it off!
743
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,307
I don't know how.
744
00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:29,675
How long you had this for?
745
00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,077
I don't know how to do it.
746
00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:33,011
You know how to do it.
747
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:37,383
How long do you want
me to have had it for?
748
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:38,450
(stuffed animal quacks)
749
00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:40,752
(moans)
750
00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:44,090
(porn music)
751
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:45,023
Oh.
752
00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:48,227
Rod, are you gonna tell
us what's going on or not?
753
00:33:48,294 --> 00:33:49,461
Nothin' I can't handle.
754
00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,762
Just a couple hoods on the lam.
755
00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:52,298
You know me.
756
00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:54,766
(bat whooshes through the air)
757
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:55,634
I always get my man.
758
00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:56,468
(bat whooshes through the air)
759
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,271
Let's smash it in the window.
760
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:05,144
Whoa!
761
00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:07,179
One.
762
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:08,046
Two.
763
00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:10,582
Three.
(window slams shut)
764
00:34:10,649 --> 00:34:11,517
Ooh!
765
00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:17,656
(bat cracks against skull)
(Carl shouts in pain)
766
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,292
(whimpering)
767
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:25,797
You hear somethin'?
768
00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:27,533
BAMBI: No, what?
DAPHNE: No. (giggles)
769
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,435
Did you hear
something, no, uh-huh.
770
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:31,637
(giggles)
771
00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:36,742
(coughs) Alright.
772
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,211
Guess my work here is done.
773
00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:44,583
Thanks, Rod, we already
have your number.
774
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:46,652
Jesus Christ!
(Carl whimpers)
775
00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:47,619
BAMBI: Oh my God!
776
00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:48,687
CARL: Ow!
777
00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:53,259
We have to get you
guys to the hospital.
778
00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,494
No, no, we don't need doctors.
779
00:34:55,561 --> 00:34:57,829
Yes, and, besides, there's
lots of crazy gadgets there.
780
00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:00,866
Maybe one of them can
help you get home.
781
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:04,236
Oh, okay, thank
you, that's nice.
782
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:06,438
Let me just do my hair
first, my hospital hair.
783
00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,374
Hospital hair, okay.
784
00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:11,843
What's happening?
785
00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:12,978
Wouldn't you say you're risking
786
00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:16,648
quite a bit for this
mysterious stranger?
787
00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:18,284
You know me.
788
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,453
I'm always a sucker
for the new guy.
789
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,922
(giggles) Jeez.
790
00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:27,393
And Carl is just so
sweet and helpless.
791
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,860
I mean, look at them.
792
00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:29,728
(groaning)
793
00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:30,662
Oh.
794
00:35:31,897 --> 00:35:33,532
Oh.
795
00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:37,803
So, every day these
palookas ride the streets
796
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,371
is an embarrassment.
797
00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:40,972
An embarrassment,
not only to me,
798
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,575
but to the entire department.
799
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,544
No one, and I mean no one,
800
00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:47,846
makes a clean sneak from
the clubhouse and walks.
801
00:35:47,913 --> 00:35:48,947
Not on my watch.
802
00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,716
Not on my watch.
803
00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:51,550
(door slams shut)
804
00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:52,618
Sir.
805
00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:55,221
I've just landed a tip.
806
00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:56,288
No, not that.
807
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:58,390
They've been spotted
at the hospital.
808
00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:00,392
Diablo, slant the hospital.
809
00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,661
Dick, Lance, hit the campus.
810
00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:04,696
I want these hoods
back by nightfall,
811
00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:06,765
or there will be hell to pay.
812
00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:07,766
Get out of here.
813
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:08,834
Come on, move,
let's see movement.
814
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:11,270
Let's move, let's
move, let's move.
815
00:36:11,337 --> 00:36:13,439
Other way, other way, go.
816
00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:18,610
VOICEOVER: The pink zone
is for unloading only.
817
00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:22,781
(rapid footsteps)
(machinery beeps)
818
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:23,815
I've got a contorted labrum.
819
00:36:23,882 --> 00:36:27,253
I need 600 gallons
of toxamagooem.
820
00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,053
What was that last word?
821
00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:29,921
Where'd you study medicine?
822
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,591
This one here's got a
humerus erectus and it's...
823
00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:33,592
Yeah, it's huge.
824
00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:38,196
(muffled words)
What are you doing?
825
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:42,901
Doctor, are they gonna be okay?
826
00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:45,904
Right now, it doesn't look good.
827
00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:47,573
But you sure as hell do.
828
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,375
Is there anything that I can do?
829
00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:52,344
Well, I'm sure I can
think of something.
830
00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:53,279
Okay.
831
00:36:55,113 --> 00:36:57,283
VOICEOVER: All deliveries
for Dr. Jellyfinger
832
00:36:57,349 --> 00:36:59,485
please use the rear entry.
833
00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:03,389
(gasps) Carl, what
are you doing?
834
00:37:03,455 --> 00:37:04,256
Look, I have to get out of here.
835
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,491
I can't waste my time with this.
836
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:06,525
I've gotta find the portal,
I've gotta get home.
837
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:09,295
Let's just grab
Lester and we'll go.
838
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,662
I can't.
839
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:11,963
Oh, yeah.
840
00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:14,032
I have to go to
cheerleading practice.
841
00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:16,034
Tryouts are tomorrow.
842
00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:20,439
And, besides, we can't
arouse any suspicions.
843
00:37:20,506 --> 00:37:21,473
Yeah, no, I understand.
844
00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:23,742
I mean, you've
already done so much.
845
00:37:23,809 --> 00:37:25,544
But, I still wanna help.
846
00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:28,347
After you find Lester,
come back to the Pi House,
847
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:30,849
and Daphne and I will find
you guys a place to hide.
848
00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:33,852
Right, okay, thanks, Bambi.
849
00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:36,388
Sure thing, and good luck.
850
00:37:43,462 --> 00:37:46,765
Uh, then, good luck
to you, thank you.
851
00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:48,867
To you as... (coughs)
852
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:51,570
(rock music)
853
00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:52,971
(sharp slap)
854
00:37:53,038 --> 00:37:55,441
(sharp slap)
855
00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:57,809
(sharp slap)
856
00:37:59,545 --> 00:38:00,879
Where are they?
857
00:38:06,184 --> 00:38:07,052
Oh!
858
00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:15,026
Hey girls, yeah.
859
00:38:15,093 --> 00:38:17,496
Do you want to
get it on with me?
860
00:38:17,563 --> 00:38:19,565
Do you want to do it?
861
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,500
Are you ready for
your sponge bath?
862
00:38:21,567 --> 00:38:24,836
Uh, yeah.
(porn music)
863
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,444
(laughs) Now turn over.
864
00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:33,311
Okay.
865
00:38:33,379 --> 00:38:36,648
We always start with the back.
866
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:37,916
But, don't worry.
867
00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:40,051
We always finish with the front.
868
00:38:40,118 --> 00:38:42,354
(laughs)
869
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:46,091
Oh yeah, you excited?
870
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,526
Not really. (chuckles)
871
00:38:47,593 --> 00:38:48,660
Oh, really?
872
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:52,831
Oh yeah, get down
in the crack there.
873
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,301
(intercom beeps)
874
00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:58,870
VOICEOVER: Dr. Bushwood, please
prepare for an injection.
875
00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:02,541
Dr. Bushwood, prepare
for a big injection.
876
00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:04,109
Bubbly.
877
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,413
Shh.
878
00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:11,082
(gasps)
879
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,519
Wow, that looked painful.
880
00:39:13,585 --> 00:39:15,086
Hello, Lesty.
881
00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:19,858
VOICEOVER: Dr. Dickblow,
call gynecology stat.
882
00:39:19,925 --> 00:39:21,627
Ooh, baby.
883
00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:22,894
Looks like I'm all strapped in.
884
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:27,132
It wasn't very nice,
running out on me like that.
885
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,668
Oh, well, it's all
about timing, baby.
886
00:39:29,735 --> 00:39:33,204
Look, I'm not going
anywhere, so I guess
887
00:39:33,271 --> 00:39:36,475
now is the time, if you
know what I'm sayin'?
888
00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:38,209
(tense music)
889
00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:39,878
What's that thing?
890
00:39:43,014 --> 00:39:43,882
Uh.
891
00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:48,987
I assure you, this,
indeed, will hurt.
892
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,155
Wait!
893
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,691
You mean, like, role play hurt?
894
00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:53,759
Mm-hmm.
895
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,961
Or, honest to God, hurt?
896
00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:58,063
Yeah.
897
00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:01,867
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, no,
no, you don't wanna do that.
898
00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:02,801
Yes?
899
00:40:04,069 --> 00:40:06,738
Dr. Jellyfinger,
Dr. Jellyfinger.
900
00:40:06,805 --> 00:40:07,939
Dr. Jellyfinger.
CARL: Oh, no, that's not...
901
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:08,940
Your patient is waiting.
902
00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:11,009
I don't have patients.
903
00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,044
What if I told you...
904
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,748
(tense music)
905
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,851
What if I told you
that I'm a virgin?
906
00:40:22,688 --> 00:40:24,590
Aw, fuck it, I'm stalling.
907
00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:25,957
Get it over with.
908
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,094
(screams)
909
00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,598
(screams)
910
00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:35,801
Don't, uh, okay.
911
00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:39,070
Hello.
912
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,506
Doctor.
913
00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:42,908
It's so good to see you.
914
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:43,842
So, um,
915
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:45,844
what, uh,
916
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,547
seems to be the problem?
917
00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:50,649
It's my nipples.
918
00:40:50,716 --> 00:40:52,050
They taste funny.
919
00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:59,457
Okay, would you excuse me for...
920
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:05,230
(screams)
921
00:41:06,264 --> 00:41:07,465
Oh, weird!
922
00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:10,569
Lester! (screams)
923
00:41:10,636 --> 00:41:11,903
Carl, help me!
924
00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,774
(chair clangs)
925
00:41:17,142 --> 00:41:18,009
Wow.
926
00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:20,078
You don't ever say
a word about this.
927
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:21,379
I don't know what
you're talking...
928
00:41:21,446 --> 00:41:21,980
I don't, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
929
00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:23,749
Good. Nothin'.
930
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,019
(shouts)
931
00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:29,087
My legs!
932
00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:29,955
Yes!
933
00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:32,758
(hectic music)
934
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,293
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
that's where we landed.
935
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,327
That's where we landed,
that's where we dropped.
936
00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:38,697
I don't care, let's
go, she's comin'.
937
00:41:38,764 --> 00:41:40,566
With that thing, let's go!
938
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:41,499
Come on!
939
00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:43,569
Um...
940
00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:47,238
Okay.
941
00:41:47,305 --> 00:41:48,974
It's still there.
942
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:51,843
Don't touch me.
943
00:41:51,910 --> 00:41:53,111
I don't...
944
00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:54,980
I'm gonna count to three, okay?
945
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,715
Keep 'em closed.
946
00:41:56,782 --> 00:41:57,649
One.
947
00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:00,652
(gasps)
948
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,587
(growls)
949
00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,689
(grunts)
950
00:42:05,924 --> 00:42:07,826
You never say a word
about this, ever.
951
00:42:07,893 --> 00:42:08,794
Ever.
952
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:09,661
No, never.
953
00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,998
Absolutely, I would not do that.
954
00:42:13,064 --> 00:42:14,866
(door bangs)
955
00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:19,070
Go, go, go, go, go!
(high tempo music)
956
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,843
Gave you the slip, huh?
957
00:42:24,910 --> 00:42:26,077
Let me tell you
somethin', missy.
958
00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:28,747
I want those twists bar-bound.
959
00:42:29,447 --> 00:42:30,315
Asap.
960
00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:33,284
It's not at your batch.
961
00:42:33,351 --> 00:42:34,753
Got me, sister?
962
00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:37,623
Move it.
963
00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:47,132
So, uh, why don't you tell
me something about yourself.
964
00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:48,867
Okay, um,
965
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:51,169
I'm 21 years old
and I'm a Capricorn.
966
00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:55,907
I'm 5'7, 110 pounds, my
measurements are 34C, 24, 34.
967
00:42:55,974 --> 00:42:58,143
My turn-ons include
candle-light dinners,
968
00:42:58,209 --> 00:42:59,177
guys who make me laugh,
969
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,345
and long bubble baths,
970
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:03,314
and my goal in life is
to make the world smile.
971
00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:04,950
(chuckles)
972
00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:06,818
But, you know what?
973
00:43:06,885 --> 00:43:09,020
Lately I've been
having these thoughts.
974
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,355
New thoughts.
975
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:14,325
I just think that there must
be more to life than sex.
976
00:43:14,392 --> 00:43:17,663
Gosh, I mean, it's always sex.
977
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:18,329
Just
978
00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:19,197
sex,
979
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:20,065
sex,
980
00:43:20,131 --> 00:43:21,332
sex.
981
00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:24,803
It seems like there might
be something missing.
982
00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:28,239
Yeah, like, like love, perhaps.
983
00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:29,841
Love.
984
00:43:29,908 --> 00:43:31,743
What do you mean?
985
00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:32,944
Well, you know, love.
986
00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:35,914
When you have sex with
someone that you love,
987
00:43:35,981 --> 00:43:36,915
the sex is better.
988
00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:38,750
Okay, so, I'm
supposed to have sex
989
00:43:38,817 --> 00:43:40,351
with the people that I love.
990
00:43:40,418 --> 00:43:42,688
Yeah, absolutely.
991
00:43:42,754 --> 00:43:45,223
But, how do you know if
you're falling in love?
992
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:48,159
Well, that is the great mystery.
993
00:43:49,527 --> 00:43:53,131
Maybe it's something that
you catch in a person's eye
994
00:43:53,198 --> 00:43:54,299
that touches you.
995
00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:57,235
Or, maybe it's the way
that person treats you.
996
00:43:57,302 --> 00:44:01,707
The way that they
understand, they listen.
997
00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:03,742
Let's make love.
998
00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:04,676
Right now.
999
00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:06,277
What?
1000
00:44:06,344 --> 00:44:08,179
You wanna make...
1001
00:44:08,246 --> 00:44:08,980
Now?
1002
00:44:09,047 --> 00:44:10,982
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1003
00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:11,649
What?
1004
00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:12,317
You don't love me?
1005
00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:13,151
No, it's not that.
1006
00:44:13,218 --> 00:44:16,121
I just, you know, I should...
1007
00:44:16,187 --> 00:44:17,455
Two seconds, give
me two seconds.
1008
00:44:17,522 --> 00:44:18,389
Okay.
1009
00:44:20,291 --> 00:44:22,794
So, I found myself
outside of San Antone
1010
00:44:22,861 --> 00:44:25,396
round abouts midnight
on a cool January eve.
1011
00:44:25,463 --> 00:44:27,265
I was shacked up on an
old Pentecostal church
1012
00:44:27,332 --> 00:44:28,867
with Ruby Joe Greenberg,
1013
00:44:28,934 --> 00:44:30,401
who's foot now with
old Chief Redclaw.
1014
00:44:30,468 --> 00:44:31,502
He's outta Missoula way.
1015
00:44:31,569 --> 00:44:34,806
Makes his livin'
tradin' arrowheads for
1016
00:44:34,873 --> 00:44:37,142
firewater and mescalin
south of the border.
1017
00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,844
He carries around
a dream catcher.
1018
00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:41,679
You wanna take a bath and fuck?
1019
00:44:43,148 --> 00:44:44,215
Yeah, okay.
1020
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:46,184
Okay.
1021
00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:50,321
Some people say that
it's not cheating
1022
00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:52,057
if you're in a different state.
1023
00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:54,425
So, I don't really see
how it can be cheating
1024
00:44:54,492 --> 00:44:57,763
if you're in a different
fucking dimension.
1025
00:44:57,829 --> 00:45:00,398
You gotta lighten up, bro.
1026
00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:04,302
Come on, alright, here,
here's what you do, alright?
1027
00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:07,906
You go back in there
and you man up.
1028
00:45:07,973 --> 00:45:10,508
You know, I think you
need to realize something.
1029
00:45:10,575 --> 00:45:12,043
This is not a joke.
1030
00:45:12,110 --> 00:45:13,078
Alright?
1031
00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:13,945
If we don't figure
out what's what,
1032
00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:15,313
we might be doomed here forever.
1033
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:20,285
I think you just might be
overreacting just a little bit.
1034
00:45:20,351 --> 00:45:21,920
I mean, sure, things aren't
going our way right now,
1035
00:45:21,987 --> 00:45:22,921
but, as soon we
work out the kinks,
1036
00:45:22,988 --> 00:45:24,289
c'mon, everything's
gonna be great.
1037
00:45:24,355 --> 00:45:27,392
Look, it's just, you know, I
have a life to get back to.
1038
00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:28,426
You know, a real life.
1039
00:45:28,493 --> 00:45:30,028
And, uh, wait a minute.
1040
00:45:30,095 --> 00:45:32,463
You and I have a dog together.
1041
00:45:32,530 --> 00:45:35,901
Charlie!
(dog burps)
1042
00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:37,235
Charlie, yeah.
1043
00:45:38,236 --> 00:45:39,104
Okay.
1044
00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:41,472
But, I'm gonna tell you what.
1045
00:45:41,539 --> 00:45:43,308
If I give all this up,
1046
00:45:43,374 --> 00:45:45,176
you have got to
promise me, right now,
1047
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,511
that when you get back,
1048
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,014
you at least try and make
some changes in your life.
1049
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,816
I'm sorry, wait,
what does that mean?
1050
00:45:50,882 --> 00:45:51,917
I don't want you goin' back
1051
00:45:51,983 --> 00:45:54,285
and living your same
shitty life, Carl.
1052
00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:56,888
Wait a minute, I
have a shitty life?
1053
00:45:56,955 --> 00:45:58,924
You have the
shittiest life, yes.
1054
00:45:58,990 --> 00:45:59,791
You're about to marry a woman
1055
00:45:59,858 --> 00:46:01,927
who's not gonna let you be you.
1056
00:46:01,993 --> 00:46:04,896
Not only that, she's
turned you into a bitch!
1057
00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:06,097
You're a little bitch!
1058
00:46:06,164 --> 00:46:07,132
She took 'em.
1059
00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:08,533
She owns 'em, and
now you're a bitch.
1060
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:09,935
I don't even know you anymore.
1061
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:10,836
Whoa!
1062
00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:11,903
Whoa.
1063
00:46:11,970 --> 00:46:13,038
Whoa.
1064
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,072
Whoa.
1065
00:46:14,139 --> 00:46:15,006
Whoa.
1066
00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:19,310
Whoa.
1067
00:46:23,481 --> 00:46:24,349
Come here.
1068
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,889
Alright, so, where should
we look for the, uh,
1069
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:31,990
the way to (snaps fingers).
LESTER: Whoa.
1070
00:46:32,057 --> 00:46:33,992
I tell you what, I've
got a million ideas
1071
00:46:34,059 --> 00:46:35,060
all brewin' right up here,
1072
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:36,127
can't wait to get
workin' on 'em asap.
1073
00:46:36,194 --> 00:46:38,396
But, first, you're
gonna have to, uh,
1074
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,999
you're gonna have to
let me take a bath.
1075
00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:42,400
With Daphne.
1076
00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:44,202
She's ready to rock, so...
1077
00:46:44,269 --> 00:46:45,136
If I could get you to
leave the bathroom,
1078
00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:46,404
it'd be really great.
1079
00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:47,272
Okay.
1080
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,473
So, first thing tomorrow then.
1081
00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:49,207
LESTER: Oh yeah, totally,
tomorrow, perfect.
1082
00:46:49,274 --> 00:46:50,942
Lookin' forward to it.
1083
00:46:51,009 --> 00:46:51,609
Have fun.
1084
00:46:51,676 --> 00:46:52,543
Okay.
1085
00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:59,117
Carl, that was the longest
two seconds of my life.
1086
00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:01,887
This is about right.
1087
00:47:04,189 --> 00:47:06,491
(porn music)
1088
00:47:07,725 --> 00:47:08,526
(gasps)
1089
00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:10,461
Hello, poppy.
1090
00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:13,098
I hoped you brought some ice.
1091
00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:15,033
Why would I need ice?
1092
00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:17,435
(kicks thud)
1093
00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:21,940
(kick thuds)
1094
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:26,077
(gasps for air)
1095
00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:31,149
(groaning)
1096
00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:32,517
Hey, wait here.
1097
00:47:36,487 --> 00:47:39,224
(vomit splatters)
1098
00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:41,359
(groans)
1099
00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:44,862
(laughs)
1100
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,269
(groans)
1101
00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:53,538
I forgot.
1102
00:47:54,472 --> 00:47:55,706
You're a Tri Pi.
1103
00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:59,610
You pledged in Dirty Talking
Coeds 11, I knew that.
1104
00:47:59,677 --> 00:48:00,545
So stupid!
1105
00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:05,383
(speaks in Spanish)
1106
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:06,651
I don't know what
you're sayin' to me.
1107
00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:09,120
I don't speak that languge,
1108
00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:11,189
(chair clangs)
1109
00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:12,723
(laughs) Bitch!
1110
00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:13,925
Yeah, Carl.
1111
00:48:16,261 --> 00:48:18,096
Oh my God, what is going on?
1112
00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:19,998
That is the woman from
the hospital who, um...
1113
00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:22,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, she what?
1114
00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:23,568
I don't know her.
1115
00:48:24,702 --> 00:48:27,105
Who, um, who hurt Lester.
1116
00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:29,374
What a bitch.
1117
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,309
She puked on my face.
1118
00:48:31,376 --> 00:48:33,344
[Daphne and Bambi] Oh.
1119
00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:35,446
You need to find
another place to hide.
1120
00:48:35,513 --> 00:48:36,647
Well, where?
1121
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:46,624
Of all the places that
Bambi could think of
1122
00:48:46,691 --> 00:48:47,625
for us to hide.
1123
00:48:47,692 --> 00:48:49,760
Hey, do I have
puke in my eyebrow?
1124
00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,663
No, I got all of it, I think.
1125
00:48:52,730 --> 00:48:53,598
Lock it.
1126
00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:56,934
How they doin'?
1127
00:48:58,103 --> 00:48:59,770
Everything okay?
1128
00:48:59,837 --> 00:49:01,039
Look, you know,
1129
00:49:01,106 --> 00:49:01,906
Bambi is really going out
of her way to help us,
1130
00:49:01,973 --> 00:49:05,343
and, by the way, so is Daphne.
1131
00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:07,545
I just, you know, I
just think we should
1132
00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:10,748
make it easy on them, not get
them into any more trouble.
1133
00:49:10,815 --> 00:49:13,584
You cocksucker, I knew it.
1134
00:49:13,651 --> 00:49:14,719
You're into her, aren't you?
1135
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:19,157
She's cute, but, uh,
she's not even real.
1136
00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:20,558
First of all, Bambi Cummings
1137
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,560
is the hottest of the hot, Carl.
1138
00:49:22,627 --> 00:49:25,230
She is like microwave
lasagna hot.
1139
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:26,531
And, secondly, she wants you.
1140
00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:28,299
And I don't know why, I
mean, it's retarded to me.
1141
00:49:28,366 --> 00:49:29,300
There's a million
swingin' dicks here.
1142
00:49:29,367 --> 00:49:31,436
She could have
any one she wants.
1143
00:49:31,502 --> 00:49:33,538
And she's chosen you.
1144
00:49:33,604 --> 00:49:35,306
Bambi Cummings is real.
1145
00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:37,108
She's real enough to touch.
1146
00:49:37,175 --> 00:49:38,509
She's real enough to squeeze.
1147
00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:40,745
And she's real enough to put
her shit on the line for us.
1148
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,413
Okay, that's real.
1149
00:49:51,289 --> 00:49:52,223
Good night, Carl, I love you.
1150
00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:53,724
I love you too, shh....
1151
00:49:53,791 --> 00:49:54,659
You made me say it.
1152
00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,528
(crickets chirp)
1153
00:49:58,596 --> 00:50:00,465
(birds sing)
1154
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:04,669
(girls giggle)
(happy music)
1155
00:50:10,408 --> 00:50:12,210
Oh, aren't we in
a good mood today?
1156
00:50:12,277 --> 00:50:14,712
I know, I just feel so...
1157
00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:16,114
I don't know, you know?
1158
00:50:16,181 --> 00:50:17,048
Is it
1159
00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:18,749
Carl?
1160
00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:20,518
You know about Carl?
1161
00:50:20,585 --> 00:50:23,288
Of course, sweetie,
Daphne told me.
1162
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:25,390
Doesn't he sound like a cutie.
1163
00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:27,125
Oh, he is.
1164
00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:29,627
It's just, I've never
felt like this before.
1165
00:50:29,694 --> 00:50:31,562
I think I'm in
1166
00:50:31,629 --> 00:50:32,497
love.
1167
00:50:33,431 --> 00:50:34,399
Love?
1168
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:35,200
Wow.
1169
00:50:35,266 --> 00:50:36,501
What does that feel like?
1170
00:50:36,567 --> 00:50:37,835
Oh, well, um,
1171
00:50:37,902 --> 00:50:41,206
at first, I can't get him
out of my mind, you know?
1172
00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,641
And then I get this
pit in my stomach,
1173
00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:46,544
and my heart is
pumping really hard.
1174
00:50:46,611 --> 00:50:48,413
And it's hard for me to breathe,
1175
00:50:48,479 --> 00:50:52,750
and I get this headache, and
it's just so awesome, you know?
1176
00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:54,219
(sighs)
1177
00:50:54,285 --> 00:50:55,620
Wow!
1178
00:50:55,686 --> 00:51:00,258
That's exactly how I felt after
my first double penetration!
1179
00:51:00,325 --> 00:51:01,392
You know what they say?
1180
00:51:01,459 --> 00:51:02,660
You never forget your first.
1181
00:51:02,727 --> 00:51:04,629
I know! (laughs)
1182
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:05,696
Oh, Bambi!
1183
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,577
(porn music)
1184
00:51:30,655 --> 00:51:31,922
It's not here.
1185
00:51:31,989 --> 00:51:33,291
What's not?
1186
00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:34,892
What you're lookin' for, Carl.
1187
00:51:34,959 --> 00:51:36,161
Hey, DJ.
1188
00:51:36,227 --> 00:51:39,830
Can you, just, please tell
me where the portal is
1189
00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:41,466
so that I can
1190
00:51:41,532 --> 00:51:42,600
get out of here.
1191
00:51:42,667 --> 00:51:45,203
How about if I give
you a hint, Carl, okay?
1192
00:51:45,270 --> 00:51:46,571
Yeah, please.
1193
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:47,905
Give me a hint.
1194
00:51:47,972 --> 00:51:50,875
Your way home is not through
something you can touch.
1195
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,810
But, rather, something
1196
00:51:54,345 --> 00:51:55,880
you can feel.
1197
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:56,881
Okay?
1198
00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:58,249
Okay.
1199
00:51:58,316 --> 00:52:00,785
DJ, um, so, if you're not
gonna show me how to get home.
1200
00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:01,852
Maybe you can give me some
1201
00:52:01,919 --> 00:52:03,588
actually useful
information, you know?
1202
00:52:03,654 --> 00:52:04,789
Like, uh, Rod?
1203
00:52:06,391 --> 00:52:08,859
Why, why is he chasing
us all over town.
1204
00:52:08,926 --> 00:52:11,462
Because that's his job.
1205
00:52:11,529 --> 00:52:12,530
Rod's a cop.
1206
00:52:13,931 --> 00:52:17,535
It's what cops do, they
chase people around.
1207
00:52:17,602 --> 00:52:19,337
That's what it is,
it's like, Bambi.
1208
00:52:19,404 --> 00:52:21,872
Bambi, Bambi's gonna
be the hottest damn
1209
00:52:21,939 --> 00:52:23,874
sorority cheerleader
there ever was.
1210
00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:25,476
Sexy.
1211
00:52:25,543 --> 00:52:28,213
I so wanna kick
your ass right now.
1212
00:52:28,279 --> 00:52:30,315
I mean, I don't know if I could,
but you're not helping me.
1213
00:52:30,381 --> 00:52:31,582
DIAMOND JIM: You wanna throw?
1214
00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:33,418
And I don't know if I have
to beat it out of you.
1215
00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:34,885
You want me to go cobra on you?
1216
00:52:34,952 --> 00:52:35,553
If you must.
1217
00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:36,254
I'll take you down.
1218
00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:38,256
Show me some feelin'!
1219
00:52:38,323 --> 00:52:39,324
That's your adventure!
1220
00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:40,191
I'll choose my own
adventure, alright?
1221
00:52:40,258 --> 00:52:41,158
Feel it, that's all I'm sayin'!
1222
00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:42,159
CARL: Stop.
DIAMOND JIM: Bam!
1223
00:52:42,227 --> 00:52:43,928
CARL: Don't!
DIAMOND JIM: That hurt.
1224
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:44,795
Look out, land shark.
1225
00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:45,730
A what?
1226
00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:50,868
What a dick.
1227
00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:55,506
(girls chatting)
1228
00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:10,655
I am so excited about tryouts.
1229
00:53:10,721 --> 00:53:12,857
I'd do anything
To make the squad.
1230
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:13,991
Me too.
1231
00:53:14,058 --> 00:53:17,328
There's absolutely
nothing I wouldn't do.
1232
00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:19,997
I just heard that
they're short one judge,
1233
00:53:20,064 --> 00:53:21,799
and they might cancel tryouts.
1234
00:53:21,866 --> 00:53:25,370
GIRLS: (gasps) No!
1235
00:53:25,436 --> 00:53:26,771
DAPHNE: Mmm.
1236
00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:27,905
Now listen, sister.
1237
00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:29,674
You wanna play ball, or what?
1238
00:53:29,740 --> 00:53:32,610
Yeah! (squeals)
1239
00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:35,513
Hold on, cupcake.
1240
00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:39,850
You want the alligator,
1241
00:53:39,917 --> 00:53:42,287
you're gonna have
to spill the beans.
1242
00:53:42,353 --> 00:53:43,921
No, I promised Bambi
I wouldn't tell.
1243
00:53:43,988 --> 00:53:44,789
Okay.
1244
00:53:44,855 --> 00:53:45,523
Oh!
1245
00:53:45,590 --> 00:53:47,758
No, no, no, okay, jeez.
1246
00:53:47,825 --> 00:53:51,296
Okay, um, on campus,
girls' locker room.
1247
00:53:51,996 --> 00:53:53,864
Hey, hey, hey!
1248
00:53:53,931 --> 00:53:55,866
Cool your jets, chippy.
1249
00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:00,471
I got the jump.
1250
00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:01,472
VOICEOVER: Go ahead, Rod.
1251
00:54:01,539 --> 00:54:03,474
Valley Campus,
girl's locker room.
1252
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,075
VOICEOVER: Copy that.
ROD: Over.
1253
00:54:05,142 --> 00:54:06,511
Alright, let's chew.
1254
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:08,779
(laughing)
1255
00:54:13,618 --> 00:54:16,321
Well, if he doesn't show up,
we're gonna have to cancel.
1256
00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:17,422
GIRLS: Oh!
1257
00:54:21,058 --> 00:54:24,028
(heavy breathing)
1258
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,431
Hey, sorry I'm late.
1259
00:54:26,497 --> 00:54:27,498
Car trouble.
1260
00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:29,467
Let's get it on!
1261
00:54:29,534 --> 00:54:30,868
(cheering)
1262
00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:32,370
("Yeah, Yeah, Yeah"
by Billy Goodrum)
1263
00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:35,940
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1264
00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:38,943
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1265
00:54:39,810 --> 00:54:43,548
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1266
00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,083
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1267
00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:48,953
* She's a beauty
1268
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:53,491
* She's a queen
1269
00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:57,695
* Don't wake me up now
1270
00:54:57,762 --> 00:55:00,965
* This must be a dream
1271
00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:05,336
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1272
00:55:06,003 --> 00:55:09,740
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1273
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:12,710
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1274
00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:15,446
* Break it down
1275
00:55:15,513 --> 00:55:18,516
* Break it down now
1276
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,856
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1277
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,665
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1278
00:55:34,732 --> 00:55:35,966
By the power vested in me
1279
00:55:36,033 --> 00:55:40,538
as the coolest and best
looking judge in the Valley,
1280
00:55:40,605 --> 00:55:44,008
I hereby announce this
year's cheer captain
1281
00:55:44,074 --> 00:55:48,413
as Bambi Cummings!
(cheering)
1282
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:49,780
Thanks, Lester.
1283
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,128
(gasps) There he is!
1284
00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,796
Oh, shit.
1285
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,632
Come on, you idiot.
1286
00:56:14,639 --> 00:56:16,574
Open it, open it,
open it, open it.
1287
00:56:16,641 --> 00:56:18,543
The big guys, they're
comin', open it!
1288
00:56:18,609 --> 00:56:19,477
Uh...
1289
00:56:20,545 --> 00:56:21,646
Uh-oh, key broke.
1290
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:22,580
Oh, God!
1291
00:56:29,186 --> 00:56:30,087
Oh, word.
1292
00:56:31,288 --> 00:56:33,824
(giggling)
1293
00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:34,759
Come on.
1294
00:56:40,665 --> 00:56:43,801
(giggling) Boobies.
1295
00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:52,176
I thought you were
learnin' how to fix this.
1296
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,745
Sorry, Carl, I have a plan.
1297
00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:03,688
His name is Busta.
1298
00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:05,422
Busta Nut.
1299
00:57:06,891 --> 00:57:08,626
Wanna be rapper
turned porn star.
1300
00:57:08,693 --> 00:57:12,563
Directed a few low budget
videos for some no-name MCs.
1301
00:57:12,630 --> 00:57:14,765
Hooked up with
Diamond Jim and viola.
1302
00:57:14,832 --> 00:57:16,834
A franchise was born.
1303
00:57:16,901 --> 00:57:18,503
Okay, how does that
help us get home?
1304
00:57:18,569 --> 00:57:19,637
Dude's got a whole collection of
1305
00:57:19,704 --> 00:57:21,205
old school video style games
1306
00:57:21,271 --> 00:57:24,509
in the basement
downstairs, Carl.
1307
00:57:24,575 --> 00:57:25,976
Booth style games.
1308
00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:27,878
You feel me?
1309
00:57:28,946 --> 00:57:31,549
Yes, okay, good, good, good.
1310
00:57:33,117 --> 00:57:33,984
Really?
1311
00:57:35,853 --> 00:57:37,221
Follow my lead.
1312
00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:43,193
(dance music)
1313
00:57:44,595 --> 00:57:47,798
(party people chatter)
1314
00:57:51,602 --> 00:57:52,737
Back the fuck up, bitch.
1315
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:53,671
What?
1316
00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:55,806
Summa Eve.
1317
00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:56,741
Hey.
1318
00:57:57,842 --> 00:57:58,843
You know me.
1319
00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:02,246
It's me, look at my.
1320
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,614
Rumpa?
1321
00:58:03,681 --> 00:58:04,281
Huh?
1322
00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,816
Rumpa.
1323
00:58:05,883 --> 00:58:06,917
Rumpa Thumpa.
1324
00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:08,953
Rumper Thumper.
1325
00:58:09,019 --> 00:58:10,555
Check this out.
1326
00:58:11,956 --> 00:58:13,691
With the pop and the bang bang,
1327
00:58:13,758 --> 00:58:15,826
click back and the
thumb up to the
1328
00:58:15,893 --> 00:58:16,994
you know what.
1329
00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:17,928
Mm, girl.
1330
00:58:18,863 --> 00:58:20,631
Yeah, freak it.
1331
00:58:20,698 --> 00:58:21,699
There, and would you
like a little bit a
1332
00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:25,002
(makes chicken sounds)
1333
00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:26,904
Alright, Rump Thump, my brother.
1334
00:58:26,971 --> 00:58:29,974
That's right, and
this is my boy, PB&J.
1335
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,810
We call him Hot Carl, he
likes when girls poop on him.
1336
00:58:32,877 --> 00:58:33,744
Tell her.
1337
00:58:35,412 --> 00:58:37,882
I like it when girls poop on me.
1338
00:58:37,948 --> 00:58:38,716
Very sick fuck.
1339
00:58:38,783 --> 00:58:39,550
But we fit in here, so, girl,
1340
00:58:39,617 --> 00:58:42,119
we just listen to the music,
1341
00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:43,588
saw the girls,
thought we'd come down
1342
00:58:43,654 --> 00:58:44,955
and see what's crackalackin.
1343
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,657
Do I get a plus one?
1344
00:58:46,724 --> 00:58:47,792
Come on in.
1345
00:58:49,894 --> 00:58:51,361
Thanks, girl.
1346
00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:53,097
I love your work.
1347
00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:58,102
(hip hop dance music)
1348
00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:09,814
Hi.
1349
00:59:11,682 --> 00:59:12,883
Oh.
1350
00:59:12,950 --> 00:59:14,619
I'm stimulated.
1351
00:59:14,685 --> 00:59:16,220
And discombobulated.
1352
00:59:17,354 --> 00:59:19,757
I'ma get all y'all
pregnant tonight.
1353
00:59:19,824 --> 00:59:22,627
I will leave it in! (laughs)
1354
00:59:22,693 --> 00:59:24,695
And you know you love that, huh?
1355
00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:25,763
That's him right there.
1356
00:59:25,830 --> 00:59:26,496
That's him, look at
the pimp, see him?
1357
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:29,266
That's Busta. Busta Nut.
1358
00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:30,901
I love you 'cause
you never judge me
1359
00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,170
on the fact that I
was uncircumcised.
1360
00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:35,372
I love that about you.
1361
00:59:35,439 --> 00:59:37,307
You know my dick got
a legwarmer on it,
1362
00:59:37,374 --> 00:59:38,876
you still love daddy.
1363
00:59:38,943 --> 00:59:41,078
(laughter)
1364
00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:43,047
He's a mad player to
the motherfuckin' mack.
1365
00:59:43,113 --> 00:59:44,882
Okay, can you just
stop with that?
1366
00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,050
Stop.
1367
00:59:46,116 --> 00:59:47,384
And where's the thing?
1368
00:59:47,451 --> 00:59:49,186
Oh, word, sorry, uh, yeah.
1369
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:51,021
The time machine
portal thing-ma-bop.
1370
00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:52,056
Probably gonna find that
1371
00:59:52,122 --> 00:59:54,058
over there in VIP
down the stairs.
1372
00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:56,894
BOTH: Oh you. (laughs)
1373
00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:59,096
Oh my God, is that Carl?
1374
01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:03,133
And why'd he going over there?
1375
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,804
Oh, maybe that's where
his spaceship is.
1376
01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:10,207
Bam?
1377
01:00:13,744 --> 01:00:14,344
Hey, sugar.
1378
01:00:14,411 --> 01:00:15,279
Hi.
1379
01:00:16,246 --> 01:00:17,381
Wanna party?
1380
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,684
Uh, yeah, okay, we'll party.
1381
01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:22,286
Um, I have to, I need my friend.
1382
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:37,101
Okay, you both look great.
1383
01:00:38,502 --> 01:00:39,937
Bye.
1384
01:00:40,004 --> 01:00:41,005
Excuse me.
1385
01:00:43,874 --> 01:00:44,742
Bam Bam.
1386
01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:46,977
What's wrong?
1387
01:00:48,112 --> 01:00:49,947
What are these?
1388
01:00:50,014 --> 01:00:52,249
We're out of here.
1389
01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:54,651
(laughter)
1390
01:00:58,455 --> 01:01:00,891
SERVER: Here's your drink.
1391
01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:01,826
May I?
1392
01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:06,130
You want some?
1393
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,464
Yeah!
1394
01:01:07,531 --> 01:01:08,465
Oh, it's warm!
1395
01:01:08,532 --> 01:01:09,399
Yeah!
1396
01:01:20,477 --> 01:01:21,245
That's it, man, I said,
1397
01:01:21,311 --> 01:01:22,546
what motherfucker, you crazy.
1398
01:01:22,612 --> 01:01:25,449
I stuck my plow cup right
up in his porsche for sure.
1399
01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:28,152
Know what I'm sayin'?
(laughter)
1400
01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:31,889
Ain't no motherfuckers spit
it like my brother Rumpa.
1401
01:01:31,956 --> 01:01:32,757
Smoke?
1402
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:33,557
Yeah!
1403
01:01:33,623 --> 01:01:35,059
That came out her ass too.
1404
01:01:35,125 --> 01:01:36,193
LESTER: Did it?
BUSTA: Yup.
1405
01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,262
[Busta and Lester] Ah!
1406
01:01:40,597 --> 01:01:41,932
I'm smokin' crack!
1407
01:01:41,999 --> 01:01:43,433
(laughter)
1408
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:44,701
Literally!
1409
01:01:48,505 --> 01:01:49,974
I, I'm...
1410
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:51,541
I know one of them.
1411
01:01:51,608 --> 01:01:52,943
Hey!
1412
01:01:53,010 --> 01:01:53,944
Yo, my boy.
1413
01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:56,914
Bitches, suck this
motherfucker's dick.
1414
01:01:56,981 --> 01:01:58,382
Do it!
1415
01:01:58,448 --> 01:02:02,219
Yo, dawg! (sighs)
1416
01:02:02,286 --> 01:02:03,387
BUSTA: Give him some car wash.
1417
01:02:03,453 --> 01:02:07,792
Yo, lizook over here,
my... (record scratches)
1418
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,962
Uh, it's cool, man.
1419
01:02:13,630 --> 01:02:16,033
He's a motherfuckin'
turd in a punch bowl.
1420
01:02:16,100 --> 01:02:17,501
Little cracka ass.
1421
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,103
But, he's my boy.
1422
01:02:22,106 --> 01:02:23,140
I'll just be right back, okay?
1423
01:02:23,207 --> 01:02:24,341
Save my spot.
1424
01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:25,409
Tap tap.
1425
01:02:25,475 --> 01:02:28,412
You better go get
that motherfucker.
1426
01:02:30,380 --> 01:02:32,082
LESTER: Holy shit.
1427
01:02:32,149 --> 01:02:34,384
Well, here it is.
1428
01:02:34,451 --> 01:02:35,920
Alright, well.
1429
01:02:37,321 --> 01:02:39,056
Go ahead and get in.
1430
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:41,992
You're not coming.
1431
01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:46,864
I love you, but, I struck
the lottery here, bro.
1432
01:02:46,931 --> 01:02:48,065
I belong here.
1433
01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:56,907
If this thing works,
1434
01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:58,408
you can ride it back
anytime you want.
1435
01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:02,412
And, who knows, maybe
even sometimes I'll
come for holidays.
1436
01:03:02,479 --> 01:03:03,547
Like Kwanzaa.
1437
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:07,351
Alright.
1438
01:03:07,417 --> 01:03:08,285
Well.
1439
01:03:09,186 --> 01:03:10,154
Bye.
1440
01:03:10,220 --> 01:03:11,088
Bye.
1441
01:03:15,559 --> 01:03:17,261
There we go, holy
shit, it works.
1442
01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:19,529
(booth whirs)
1443
01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:20,464
Alright.
1444
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,033
(booth beeps and whirs)
1445
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:24,969
What the fuck is this?
1446
01:03:27,604 --> 01:03:28,906
It looks like some
kind of video game
1447
01:03:28,973 --> 01:03:31,909
where you have to use the
cock to shoot all the titties.
1448
01:03:31,976 --> 01:03:33,277
Welp.
1449
01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:35,279
Looks like you're screwed.
1450
01:03:35,345 --> 01:03:36,947
Should we go back upstairs?
1451
01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:38,548
You said this was gonna work.
1452
01:03:38,615 --> 01:03:39,884
Make it work.
1453
01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:44,221
(laughs)
1454
01:03:44,288 --> 01:03:45,890
Sorry, you died.
1455
01:03:47,624 --> 01:03:50,127
(chair clangs)
1456
01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:57,301
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1457
01:03:57,367 --> 01:04:00,004
(chair clangs)
1458
01:04:01,538 --> 01:04:04,474
(stomps thud)
1459
01:04:04,541 --> 01:04:05,910
Yeah, yeah, another.
1460
01:04:05,976 --> 01:04:06,576
One more.
1461
01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:07,511
Let's go!
1462
01:04:19,123 --> 01:04:22,026
LANCE: Freeze!
(records scratches)
1463
01:04:22,092 --> 01:04:24,428
(guns clack)
1464
01:04:29,333 --> 01:04:32,402
What kinda bitch ass
motherfuckers you think we are?
1465
01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,538
You think those is
motherfuckin' guns?
1466
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:37,574
This here is a
motherfucking gun.
1467
01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:40,244
(laughs)
1468
01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:41,311
Ain't that right, my man?
1469
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:44,081
What the?
(teeth clatter on the floor)
1470
01:04:44,148 --> 01:04:47,051
You ain't no
motherfuckin' Rumpa.
1471
01:04:47,117 --> 01:04:47,717
I...
1472
01:04:47,784 --> 01:04:48,953
He was...
1473
01:04:49,019 --> 01:04:50,220
Check that out!
1474
01:04:52,289 --> 01:04:53,623
You motherfuckers.
1475
01:04:53,690 --> 01:04:55,292
And don't come around here.
1476
01:04:55,359 --> 01:04:58,062
I'll beat the Grizzly
Adams shit outta you.
1477
01:04:58,128 --> 01:05:00,064
You Andy Griffith
lookin' motherfucker.
1478
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:01,898
Get to dancin' again.
1479
01:05:06,136 --> 01:05:08,372
You're on your own!
1480
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:11,475
Don't look at me,
don't look at me!
1481
01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:17,514
So, I know that
didn't go so well.
1482
01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:18,983
Didn't go so well?
1483
01:05:19,049 --> 01:05:20,184
No, check it out...
1484
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,486
Don't give me that look,
I've got the cure, Carl.
1485
01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:24,254
I've got our way out of here.
1486
01:05:24,321 --> 01:05:25,189
Two words.
1487
01:05:26,323 --> 01:05:27,992
Babysitter orgy.
1488
01:05:28,058 --> 01:05:29,359
Oh my God!
1489
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,161
There's a house down here
that I recognize from earlier.
1490
01:05:31,228 --> 01:05:33,263
I knew I recognized it, but...
1491
01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:37,301
Oh my God, I'm trapped
here forever with you.
1492
01:05:38,802 --> 01:05:42,639
You say that like
it's a bad thing.
1493
01:05:42,706 --> 01:05:44,774
I should've never
listened to you.
1494
01:05:44,841 --> 01:05:47,244
You work in a liquor store.
1495
01:05:49,146 --> 01:05:53,283
And now, you've dragged me
into your porn-fueled world.
1496
01:05:56,553 --> 01:06:01,158
(laughs) You're the
biggest loser I know.
1497
01:06:01,225 --> 01:06:03,527
I deserve this, really.
1498
01:06:03,593 --> 01:06:04,494
So, thanks.
1499
01:06:04,561 --> 01:06:05,362
Is that right?
1500
01:06:05,429 --> 01:06:06,163
Yeah.
1501
01:06:06,230 --> 01:06:07,697
Well, you know what, Carl?
1502
01:06:07,764 --> 01:06:09,166
Boohoo.
1503
01:06:09,233 --> 01:06:10,600
Yeah, oh, I'm Carl!
1504
01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:12,636
Oh, there's too many boobies.
1505
01:06:12,702 --> 01:06:14,538
How could you do
this to me, Lester?
1506
01:06:14,604 --> 01:06:17,441
How could you bring me to the
greatest place on the Earth?
1507
01:06:17,507 --> 01:06:18,308
You know what?
1508
01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:19,109
What about me?
1509
01:06:19,176 --> 01:06:20,144
I should be gettin' laid.
1510
01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:23,113
Two at a time,
twice a day, but no.
1511
01:06:23,180 --> 01:06:24,614
I gotta deal with your
whinin' ass all the time.
1512
01:06:24,681 --> 01:06:25,782
Aw, I'm sorry.
1513
01:06:25,849 --> 01:06:28,052
Yeah, I'm the one who
gets kicked in the balls
1514
01:06:28,118 --> 01:06:29,319
over and over and over,
1515
01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:30,354
and I'm laying in my own puke,
1516
01:06:30,420 --> 01:06:33,357
and then the thing
at the hospital.
1517
01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:37,161
You don't say a word,
but don't tell nobody.
1518
01:06:38,428 --> 01:06:39,029
You know what?
1519
01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:40,330
To hell with you.
1520
01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:41,365
To hell with me?
1521
01:06:41,431 --> 01:06:42,666
LESTER: Yes.
CARL: To hell with me.
1522
01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:43,267
LESTER: Straight to hell.
CARL: To hell with you.
1523
01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:45,469
Okay, no, you.
1524
01:06:45,535 --> 01:06:47,704
These are all for you.
1525
01:06:47,771 --> 01:06:49,173
Alright?
1526
01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:51,808
Go, get laid, enjoy, enjoy.
1527
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:52,742
I will.
1528
01:06:59,183 --> 01:07:01,118
You're a baby, come on.
1529
01:07:02,786 --> 01:07:03,653
Hey.
1530
01:07:10,294 --> 01:07:11,161
Sheesh.
1531
01:07:14,231 --> 01:07:16,533
(door chimes)
1532
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:17,767
Oh.
1533
01:07:17,834 --> 01:07:19,303
Did I order a pizza?
1534
01:07:19,369 --> 01:07:21,505
Gee, maybe I got
the wrong house.
1535
01:07:21,571 --> 01:07:22,672
What kind of pizza is it?
1536
01:07:22,739 --> 01:07:24,808
Extra large sausage and
1537
01:07:25,709 --> 01:07:27,344
giant meatballs.
1538
01:07:27,411 --> 01:07:28,345
Mm!
1539
01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:29,479
Sounds yummy!
1540
01:07:31,481 --> 01:07:32,349
Ooh, yeah.
1541
01:07:35,919 --> 01:07:38,655
(hip hop music)
1542
01:07:46,496 --> 01:07:49,266
I'm takin' your car, pizza boy.
1543
01:07:49,333 --> 01:07:50,367
'Cause it's my world!
1544
01:07:50,434 --> 01:07:52,836
(engine revs)
1545
01:07:54,338 --> 01:07:56,373
(tires squeal)
(horn blares)
1546
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:57,374
Watch where you're...
1547
01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:58,041
You know what?
1548
01:07:58,108 --> 01:08:00,544
Fuck you. (laughs)
1549
01:08:00,610 --> 01:08:02,746
Nothin's ruinin' my night.
1550
01:08:04,314 --> 01:08:07,751
VOICEOVER: Goodnight Mrs. Bliss.
1551
01:08:07,817 --> 01:08:09,085
Hey, Bambi.
1552
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:10,787
It's me.
1553
01:08:16,493 --> 01:08:17,594
What's wrong?
1554
01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:19,829
How could you?
1555
01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:22,466
Uh...
1556
01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:23,600
How could I what?
1557
01:08:23,667 --> 01:08:26,903
I thought you were different.
1558
01:08:26,970 --> 01:08:28,205
What are you talkin' about?
1559
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,174
I saw you tonight.
1560
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:31,575
With those girls.
1561
01:08:33,377 --> 01:08:35,279
With which girls?
1562
01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:37,847
So, now you're gonna lie to me?
1563
01:08:37,914 --> 01:08:40,417
Oh, no, those, no, no,
no, no, I can explain.
1564
01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:42,186
I don't wanna hear it.
1565
01:08:42,252 --> 01:08:44,188
I saw what I saw
and that's that.
1566
01:08:44,254 --> 01:08:45,889
No, baby, really, it
is not what you think.
1567
01:08:45,955 --> 01:08:47,657
No, Carl.
1568
01:08:47,724 --> 01:08:48,725
You hurt me.
1569
01:08:49,793 --> 01:08:52,596
And I don't ever
wanna see you again.
1570
01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:55,599
And to think I ever
loved you, Carl.
1571
01:09:00,670 --> 01:09:01,905
(bell chimes)
1572
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:03,740
(giggling)
1573
01:09:03,807 --> 01:09:05,409
Thank you, God.
1574
01:09:05,475 --> 01:09:06,843
(gasps)
1575
01:09:06,910 --> 01:09:07,677
Oh my God.
1576
01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:10,447
Did we, like, order a pizza?
1577
01:09:10,514 --> 01:09:11,548
You didn't?
1578
01:09:12,682 --> 01:09:13,783
Who cares?
1579
01:09:13,850 --> 01:09:16,320
I'm, like, totally starving.
1580
01:09:18,322 --> 01:09:19,656
But we don't have any money.
1581
01:09:19,723 --> 01:09:23,827
Oh my God, is there, like, any
other way we could pay you?
1582
01:09:25,362 --> 01:09:28,632
I'm sure we can
think of somethin'.
1583
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:30,267
(porn music)
1584
01:09:30,334 --> 01:09:32,502
And I was just
inside for a second.
1585
01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:35,239
Don't sell yourself
short, studmuffin.
1586
01:09:35,305 --> 01:09:38,342
You were harder
than Chinese math.
1587
01:09:38,408 --> 01:09:39,876
Thanks, sweet tits.
1588
01:09:39,943 --> 01:09:42,912
But, seriously, who
steals a pizza car?
1589
01:09:42,979 --> 01:09:45,249
I'm kickin' a hunch.
1590
01:09:45,315 --> 01:09:48,452
Now go pin your
diapers on and dangle.
1591
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:51,788
Breaker, breaker.
1592
01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:52,589
VOICEOVER: Ooh, I'm here, Rod.
1593
01:09:52,656 --> 01:09:54,824
Dust out the chopper squad.
1594
01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:56,526
I got the buzz on the hot peep.
1595
01:09:56,593 --> 01:09:58,628
VOICEOVER: Ooh, Roger.
1596
01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:00,997
It's called
1597
01:10:01,064 --> 01:10:02,799
the nervous game.
1598
01:10:02,866 --> 01:10:05,001
Oh my God, I'm, like, so scared.
1599
01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:06,836
Stop. (giggles)
1600
01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,338
Seriously.
1601
01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:09,639
So, what you do
1602
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:12,576
is you put one
hand on each other.
1603
01:10:13,577 --> 01:10:14,444
Not yet.
1604
01:10:15,445 --> 01:10:17,714
Starting with each
other's heads.
1605
01:10:17,781 --> 01:10:21,385
Then you move slowly
down, pausing to ask,
1606
01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:24,421
"Are you nervous?"
1607
01:10:24,488 --> 01:10:25,755
And if the answer's no,
1608
01:10:25,822 --> 01:10:28,024
then you keep moving.
1609
01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:29,593
And the game doesn't stop
1610
01:10:29,659 --> 01:10:32,896
until someone says,
"That makes me nervous."
1611
01:10:32,962 --> 01:10:35,432
But, what if nothing
makes me nervous?
1612
01:10:35,499 --> 01:10:36,966
Then you keep going and going
1613
01:10:37,033 --> 01:10:39,703
and going and going. (laughs)
CARL: Going and going.
1614
01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:41,505
Okay, let's start.
1615
01:10:56,653 --> 01:10:57,787
Are you nervous?
1616
01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:59,923
No, are you nervous?
1617
01:10:59,989 --> 01:11:00,857
No.
1618
01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:07,664
Are you nervous?
1619
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:08,598
No.
1620
01:11:12,001 --> 01:11:13,470
Are you nervous?
1621
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:17,507
No.
1622
01:11:21,478 --> 01:11:22,078
Are you nervous?
1623
01:11:22,145 --> 01:11:24,881
(door slams open)
1624
01:11:24,948 --> 01:11:26,483
Did you guys hear somethin'?
1625
01:11:26,550 --> 01:11:29,653
(angry music)
1626
01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:30,654
Now you're makin' me nervous.
1627
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:34,991
(baton cracks)
(cries out in pain)
1628
01:11:36,460 --> 01:11:38,061
Where is your boyfriend?
1629
01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:40,029
(scoffs) He's not my boyfriend.
1630
01:11:40,096 --> 01:11:40,897
(door chimes)
1631
01:11:40,964 --> 01:11:41,765
Hello.
1632
01:11:41,831 --> 01:11:43,299
Anybody at home?
1633
01:11:45,201 --> 01:11:49,072
I am the pool boy, and I
have come to clean your pool.
1634
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:51,341
Oh, and it's so dirty.
1635
01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:01,751
(gasps)
1636
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:02,619
(gasps)
1637
01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:04,754
(growls)
1638
01:12:08,892 --> 01:12:10,960
(growls)
1639
01:12:13,129 --> 01:12:14,864
Wait, we don't even have a pool.
1640
01:12:14,931 --> 01:12:17,000
(laughs)
1641
01:12:19,536 --> 01:12:22,071
(wistful music)
1642
01:13:00,644 --> 01:13:03,112
(tires squeal)
1643
01:13:05,281 --> 01:13:07,484
Fuck this place, Carl.
1644
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:23,833
(dance music)
1645
01:13:28,004 --> 01:13:29,706
Oh, come on, Bammers.
1646
01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:32,241
DJ's parties always
cheer you up.
1647
01:13:32,308 --> 01:13:34,043
Put on a happy face.
1648
01:13:36,646 --> 01:13:37,914
Oh.
1649
01:13:37,981 --> 01:13:40,750
You did the right thing by
gettin' rid of that Carl.
1650
01:13:40,817 --> 01:13:42,986
Oh, I don't know, I think
I made a horrible mistake.
1651
01:13:43,052 --> 01:13:45,822
And I miss him so much it hurts.
1652
01:13:45,889 --> 01:13:47,657
I wonder what he's
doing right now.
1653
01:13:47,724 --> 01:13:50,560
(engine rumbles)
1654
01:13:52,061 --> 01:13:54,631
Oh God, so that's it, huh?
1655
01:13:54,698 --> 01:13:55,565
Yup.
1656
01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,569
Well, what's the plan?
1657
01:14:03,139 --> 01:14:05,742
(dance music)
1658
01:14:10,747 --> 01:14:11,881
(laughs)
1659
01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:15,985
Bambi, Daphne, come over
here, you sweet things.
1660
01:14:16,052 --> 01:14:19,188
Uh-oh, why the long
puss, sweet cheeks?
1661
01:14:19,255 --> 01:14:20,223
She'll be fine.
1662
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:22,626
She just needs to relax.
1663
01:14:22,692 --> 01:14:24,761
Well, you came to
the right place.
1664
01:14:24,828 --> 01:14:26,563
Excuse me, sweetie.
1665
01:14:26,630 --> 01:14:27,597
Come on, now.
1666
01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:30,734
Sit down, tell DJ
what's goin' on.
1667
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:34,203
Well, there's this
boy that I met.
1668
01:14:34,270 --> 01:14:38,107
And I treated him bad,
and now I feel bad.
1669
01:14:38,174 --> 01:14:39,643
That's so sad.
1670
01:14:59,863 --> 01:15:01,598
CARL: Fuck!
1671
01:15:01,665 --> 01:15:04,067
(chase music)
1672
01:15:14,678 --> 01:15:15,679
Um, sorry.
1673
01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:47,811
(heads smack together)
1674
01:15:49,012 --> 01:15:49,879
Oh God.
1675
01:15:50,980 --> 01:15:53,617
LESTER: Oh great,
excellent, what's this?
1676
01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:54,618
Oh, this one too.
1677
01:15:54,684 --> 01:15:55,619
Oh, that's nice.
1678
01:15:55,685 --> 01:15:57,887
Okay, give it up, ginks.
1679
01:15:57,954 --> 01:15:59,122
Or else you're both
1680
01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:00,189
gonna get
1681
01:16:00,256 --> 01:16:02,158
the Broderick.
1682
01:16:02,225 --> 01:16:02,959
What's that?
1683
01:16:03,026 --> 01:16:05,228
I don't know what that is.
1684
01:16:06,763 --> 01:16:08,698
Titty twister!
1685
01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:09,833
Do it, try it.
1686
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:12,401
(moans)
Sleep, sleep!
1687
01:16:12,468 --> 01:16:14,003
It's not working.
1688
01:16:15,839 --> 01:16:16,840
Oh yeah!
1689
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,575
(punches thud)
1690
01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:22,045
C'mon, c'mon.
1691
01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:22,912
Okay.
1692
01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:24,047
(punch thuds)
1693
01:16:24,113 --> 01:16:25,114
(gasps for air)
1694
01:16:25,181 --> 01:16:27,851
(punches thud)
1695
01:16:30,854 --> 01:16:32,822
Ha, get off me, bitch.
1696
01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:34,023
Nope.
1697
01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:34,924
Okay.
1698
01:16:34,991 --> 01:16:35,959
Now he sleeps.
1699
01:16:36,025 --> 01:16:37,126
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
1700
01:16:37,193 --> 01:16:39,195
Not today, Rod Jammin.
1701
01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:44,333
(laughs)
1702
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:45,735
Get him, Carl!
1703
01:16:51,274 --> 01:16:54,077
(water splashes)
1704
01:16:55,144 --> 01:16:55,812
Oh!
1705
01:16:59,282 --> 01:17:01,851
What the hell is goin' on?
1706
01:17:01,918 --> 01:17:04,287
I am about to red
light these hopheads
1707
01:17:04,353 --> 01:17:06,022
back to the hoosegow!
1708
01:17:06,089 --> 01:17:07,857
Well, just stuff it, Rod.
1709
01:17:07,924 --> 01:17:10,293
DJ, we just want to go home.
1710
01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:12,796
Yeah, I mean, we can't
figure out why we're here.
1711
01:17:12,862 --> 01:17:16,933
And, by the way, none of
us learned a damn thing.
1712
01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:19,135
Is that right?
1713
01:17:19,202 --> 01:17:21,738
So, you guys just wanna
give up the journey?
1714
01:17:21,805 --> 01:17:23,206
Is that right?
1715
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:24,741
Exactly, yeah.
1716
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,913
Well, if that's what
you really want.
1717
01:17:29,979 --> 01:17:31,180
That's exactly...
1718
01:17:31,247 --> 01:17:32,882
Well, yes, positive.
1719
01:17:32,949 --> 01:17:35,184
Okay, then just do as I say.
1720
01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:36,585
Cup your balls,
1721
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:39,923
give 'em a squeeze, and say,
"There's no place like home.
1722
01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:42,325
"There's no place like home."
1723
01:17:43,226 --> 01:17:45,294
(laughs)
1724
01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:50,900
LESTER AND CARL: There's
no place like home.
1725
01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:52,736
LESTER AND CARL: There's
no place like home.
1726
01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:53,870
LESTER AND CARL: There's
no place like home.
1727
01:17:53,937 --> 01:17:57,006
(laughs) Just fuckin' with ya!
1728
01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:57,974
You're a dick!
1729
01:17:58,041 --> 01:17:59,743
I hate this guy so much.
1730
01:17:59,809 --> 01:18:03,780
(laughs) The booth's
right up there.
1731
01:18:03,847 --> 01:18:06,315
Just step inside and off ya go.
1732
01:18:07,450 --> 01:18:09,886
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold the phone.
1733
01:18:09,953 --> 01:18:11,154
Hold the phone.
1734
01:18:12,488 --> 01:18:14,791
You just gonna kick these
trouble boys the skip out?
1735
01:18:14,858 --> 01:18:16,860
Will you shut up, Rod?
1736
01:18:18,161 --> 01:18:20,196
Seriously, what crime did
these boys ever commit, anyway?
1737
01:18:20,263 --> 01:18:22,766
Well, I mean, I'm not
sure, specifically.
1738
01:18:22,832 --> 01:18:25,401
I mean, I'll check the
statutes and everything,
1739
01:18:25,468 --> 01:18:27,336
when I get a chance.
1740
01:18:27,403 --> 01:18:28,872
Yeah, why don't you do that?
1741
01:18:28,938 --> 01:18:30,306
Rod, why don't you
check the statutes.
1742
01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:32,308
You are the sorriest
cop on the force.
1743
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:33,242
And, Rod?
1744
01:18:34,310 --> 01:18:36,079
You're fired.
(gasps)
1745
01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,146
Excuse me?
1746
01:18:39,015 --> 01:18:41,084
(laughs)
1747
01:18:42,986 --> 01:18:45,989
Oh, what are you
guys waitin' for?
1748
01:18:51,427 --> 01:18:52,295
C'mon.
1749
01:18:59,635 --> 01:19:01,838
Carl, come on, let's go.
1750
01:19:10,146 --> 01:19:12,916
(romantic music)
1751
01:19:15,418 --> 01:19:19,122
I guess you learned somethin'
important here afterall.
1752
01:19:19,188 --> 01:19:21,357
Well, I did, DJ.
1753
01:19:21,424 --> 01:19:24,493
I learned what true
love really is.
1754
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:25,761
Oh, Jesus.
1755
01:19:26,629 --> 01:19:28,031
(giggles)
1756
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:29,398
I love you, Carl.
1757
01:19:29,465 --> 01:19:31,167
I love you, baby.
1758
01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:33,837
(gasps)
1759
01:19:33,903 --> 01:19:34,971
What happened?
1760
01:19:35,038 --> 01:19:38,541
What did you do to my
friend, Diamond Jim?
1761
01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:41,477
(ceiling crashes)
1762
01:19:42,678 --> 01:19:45,114
(groans)
1763
01:19:45,181 --> 01:19:46,049
Bambi?
1764
01:19:50,553 --> 01:19:51,420
Bambi?
1765
01:19:53,189 --> 01:19:55,391
So, then, I remember,
it hits me, wang.
1766
01:19:55,458 --> 01:19:56,893
The one rule
1767
01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:58,427
in this land.
1768
01:19:58,494 --> 01:20:00,363
You can't fall in love.
1769
01:20:00,429 --> 01:20:02,999
DJ, that's so
unfair, I love him.
1770
01:20:03,066 --> 01:20:04,567
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1771
01:20:06,069 --> 01:20:09,873
In this land, you can't
have that feeling, okay?
1772
01:20:09,939 --> 01:20:10,806
I'm sorry.
1773
01:20:12,108 --> 01:20:14,210
Yeah, that's tough, sweetie.
1774
01:20:14,277 --> 01:20:15,644
Tough break.
1775
01:20:15,711 --> 01:20:17,246
Hey, listen, it's been really
great gettin' to know you all.
1776
01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:19,015
Hey, uh, Lester?
1777
01:20:19,082 --> 01:20:22,285
Are you sure that you
really, really wanna go?
1778
01:20:22,351 --> 01:20:25,288
Yeah, bro, I think
I learned my lesson.
1779
01:20:25,354 --> 01:20:26,489
What was that?
1780
01:20:26,555 --> 01:20:29,893
This place is not what I
expected it to be, okay?
1781
01:20:29,959 --> 01:20:32,128
My nuts can't take anymore.
1782
01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:35,899
And I don't mean in a good way.
1783
01:20:35,965 --> 01:20:36,900
Well, there's one more thing
1784
01:20:36,966 --> 01:20:38,634
that you should
know before you go.
1785
01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:41,170
Oh yeah, Diamond
Jim, what's that?
1786
01:20:41,237 --> 01:20:42,105
Lester.
1787
01:20:44,273 --> 01:20:45,541
I'm your father.
1788
01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:48,211
What?
1789
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:52,916
That's my son!
1790
01:20:52,982 --> 01:20:54,517
Prince of the Valley!
1791
01:20:56,719 --> 01:20:59,388
And then we will get married.
1792
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,193
Carl!
(tense music)
1793
01:21:04,260 --> 01:21:05,494
Where the hell have you been?
1794
01:21:05,561 --> 01:21:08,197
It's been two days, and
you know what that means?
1795
01:21:08,264 --> 01:21:09,432
That means it's Sunday.
1796
01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:12,201
And, do you know what Sunday is?
1797
01:21:12,268 --> 01:21:16,405
Sunday is food tasting day
at the club with my parents.
1798
01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,542
What the fuck happened
to your ceiling?
1799
01:21:19,608 --> 01:21:20,609
Uh...
1800
01:21:20,676 --> 01:21:22,178
You know what, no, no, no.
1801
01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:24,013
I don't wanna know,
because right now
1802
01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,348
we're gonna go to the club,
1803
01:21:25,414 --> 01:21:26,449
we're gonna meet my parents,
1804
01:21:26,515 --> 01:21:29,618
and we're gonna have
a nice time, okay?
1805
01:21:29,685 --> 01:21:32,421
And tomorrow you will
explain everything.
1806
01:21:32,488 --> 01:21:33,089
Okay.
1807
01:21:33,156 --> 01:21:34,423
So, go get changed.
1808
01:21:34,490 --> 01:21:35,358
Chop chop.
1809
01:21:41,530 --> 01:21:42,398
No.
1810
01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:46,535
What did you say?
1811
01:21:50,139 --> 01:21:51,640
I said no.
1812
01:21:51,707 --> 01:21:53,009
No?
1813
01:21:53,076 --> 01:21:53,709
Oh.
1814
01:21:53,776 --> 01:21:55,178
No to what.
1815
01:21:55,244 --> 01:21:56,912
No to everything.
1816
01:21:58,581 --> 01:22:01,150
No to picking up your parents.
1817
01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:05,254
And no to going to the
food tasting at the club.
1818
01:22:05,321 --> 01:22:09,225
And also no to ever
explaining anything to you.
1819
01:22:10,459 --> 01:22:11,394
You know what?
1820
01:22:11,460 --> 01:22:12,628
You are gonna
regret this, mister?
1821
01:22:12,695 --> 01:22:14,263
Oh, really?
1822
01:22:14,330 --> 01:22:16,132
Are you sure, are you sure I am?
1823
01:22:16,199 --> 01:22:17,466
Do I look like I'm
gonna regret it?
1824
01:22:17,533 --> 01:22:18,434
Are you sure?
TRACY: Yes!
1825
01:22:18,501 --> 01:22:19,468
Well, look closer!
1826
01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:22,605
Get the hell out
of here, go, get.
1827
01:22:22,671 --> 01:22:25,208
(door slams)
1828
01:22:31,214 --> 01:22:33,282
DJ, isn't there
anything you can do?
1829
01:22:33,349 --> 01:22:35,418
I mean, I know the rule, but
can't you make an exception
1830
01:22:35,484 --> 01:22:36,585
just this once?
1831
01:22:36,652 --> 01:22:37,686
Bambi.
1832
01:22:37,753 --> 01:22:39,055
You know, you've always
been my favorite.
1833
01:22:39,122 --> 01:22:41,490
And I would do anything in
the world to make you happy.
1834
01:22:41,557 --> 01:22:43,792
Then please help me, please.
1835
01:22:43,859 --> 01:22:45,194
Come on, DJ.
1836
01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:48,131
Do our girl right.
1837
01:22:49,732 --> 01:22:51,467
(laughs)
1838
01:22:51,534 --> 01:22:54,403
Well, let's just see
what the Deej can do.
1839
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,372
(laughs) Alright?
1840
01:22:56,439 --> 01:22:58,641
(laughter)
1841
01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:03,146
There he is.
1842
01:23:03,212 --> 01:23:05,314
He's comin' out of it.
1843
01:23:05,381 --> 01:23:06,715
Hey, son.
1844
01:23:06,782 --> 01:23:08,184
How you doin'?
1845
01:23:08,251 --> 01:23:09,718
You're here, you're back.
1846
01:23:09,785 --> 01:23:12,721
You're the prince of the valley.
1847
01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:14,690
How you like your life?
1848
01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:19,262
I love you, dad.
1849
01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,629
Are you sure you still wanna go?
1850
01:23:20,696 --> 01:23:23,132
(laughter)
1851
01:23:26,902 --> 01:23:28,271
No!
1852
01:23:28,337 --> 01:23:29,505
No!
1853
01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,439
No!
1854
01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,242
(snaps fingers)
1855
01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:35,611
(gasps)
1856
01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:38,147
I never liked him anyway.
1857
01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:40,416
(laughter)
1858
01:24:00,669 --> 01:24:02,771
VOICEOVER: You're
watching the Diamond Zone,
1859
01:24:02,838 --> 01:24:04,840
America's top adult network.
1860
01:24:04,907 --> 01:24:06,275
Up next...
1861
01:24:06,342 --> 01:24:07,776
What's up, buddy?
1862
01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:09,778
It's Lester
"Double-Wide" Watts here,
1863
01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:11,580
comin' straight at you.
1864
01:24:11,647 --> 01:24:14,049
Are you ready to get it on?
1865
01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,719
What?
1866
01:24:16,785 --> 01:24:19,755
And now, for a sampling of
some of my new super hot hits.
1867
01:24:19,822 --> 01:24:21,790
What do you mean
you can't pay me?
1868
01:24:21,857 --> 01:24:23,826
I cleaned the pool.
1869
01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:24,760
Though.
1870
01:24:25,728 --> 01:24:27,530
(giggles)
1871
01:24:27,596 --> 01:24:28,464
Oh, okay.
1872
01:24:29,765 --> 01:24:31,267
Consider your pipes
1873
01:24:31,334 --> 01:24:32,201
plumbed.
1874
01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,806
WOMAN: Here, hold this.
1875
01:24:37,873 --> 01:24:39,775
Are you ready for
your deposition?
1876
01:24:39,842 --> 01:24:40,709
Shh.
1877
01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:45,414
That's right, baby.
1878
01:24:46,549 --> 01:24:49,552
And, now, a special
delivery just for you.
1879
01:24:49,618 --> 01:24:53,422
The hottest piece of ass
this side of the Mississippi.
1880
01:24:53,489 --> 01:24:55,691
Mrs. Bambi Cummings.
1881
01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:56,825
No, no, no.
1882
01:25:00,263 --> 01:25:02,265
(sighs)
1883
01:25:06,469 --> 01:25:09,104
(electric zap)
1884
01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,585
(dog barks)
1885
01:25:22,651 --> 01:25:23,852
(scream)
1886
01:25:23,919 --> 01:25:26,789
(ceiling crashes)
1887
01:25:37,800 --> 01:25:38,667
Bambi?
1888
01:25:46,442 --> 01:25:47,443
Bambi, is that you?
1889
01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:49,345
Yeah, it's really me.
1890
01:25:49,412 --> 01:25:50,613
But, how?
1891
01:25:50,679 --> 01:25:51,647
When your journey ended,
1892
01:25:51,714 --> 01:25:53,716
it turned out mine
had just begun.
1893
01:25:53,782 --> 01:25:54,550
Your journey?
1894
01:25:54,617 --> 01:25:55,918
Yes, see, Carl.
1895
01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:58,887
You came into my life and showed
me what I was looking for.
1896
01:25:58,954 --> 01:26:01,290
And then DJ told me
if I wanted true love
1897
01:26:01,357 --> 01:26:03,426
I'd have to go after it myself.
1898
01:26:03,492 --> 01:26:04,893
So, you gave up your...
1899
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:07,730
Your life there to be with me?
1900
01:26:07,796 --> 01:26:11,166
Carl, I'd do anything
to be with you.
1901
01:26:12,034 --> 01:26:13,402
Anything.
1902
01:26:13,469 --> 01:26:14,337
Anything.
1903
01:26:23,312 --> 01:26:25,881
(laughs) See, Carl?
1904
01:26:25,948 --> 01:26:29,385
I told you I'd always
have your back.
1905
01:26:29,452 --> 01:26:31,420
That's right, buddy.
1906
01:26:31,487 --> 01:26:33,589
Since third grade dodge ball.
1907
01:26:33,656 --> 01:26:35,291
Lester, what are you doing?
1908
01:26:35,358 --> 01:26:36,325
What am I doin'?
1909
01:26:36,392 --> 01:26:37,560
I'm just havin' the
time of my life.
1910
01:26:37,626 --> 01:26:38,661
Two at a time.
1911
01:26:38,727 --> 01:26:41,864
Twice a day. (laughs)
1912
01:26:43,098 --> 01:26:45,368
Looks like you have your
hands full too, Carl.
1913
01:26:45,434 --> 01:26:46,302
Yeah.
1914
01:26:47,403 --> 01:26:48,571
Thanks, man.
1915
01:26:48,637 --> 01:26:51,540
The pleasure is all mine.
1916
01:26:51,607 --> 01:26:53,909
See ya at Kwanzaa, buddy.
1917
01:26:53,976 --> 01:26:56,679
Yeah, I'll see you at Kwanzaa.
1918
01:26:57,846 --> 01:27:00,483
You know, they say I'm
the best of the best.
1919
01:27:00,549 --> 01:27:01,216
Mm-hmm.
1920
01:27:01,284 --> 01:27:03,619
Think you can handle me?
1921
01:27:03,686 --> 01:27:04,753
Definitely.
1922
01:29:50,185 --> 01:29:53,656
Pack of smokes,
c'mon, make it snappy.
1923
01:30:07,736 --> 01:30:09,538
Choke on 'em, punk.
1924
01:30:11,073 --> 01:30:13,075
Choke.
117170
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