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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:13,147 ("Lucky Girl" by Cato Salsa Experience) 2 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,642 VOICEOVER: You're watching The Diamond Zone, 3 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,811 America's top adult network. 4 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,180 Up next... 5 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,581 Hey, hey! 6 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,948 It's Diamond Jim here, 7 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,451 ready to rock your world. 8 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,319 Lock the door. 9 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,454 Throw the tarp on the couch and 10 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,424 get ready, it's time for the Diamond Jim Marathon. 11 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,959 WOMAN: Woo! DIAMOND JIM: (laughs) Yeah! 12 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,330 It's a scrapbook of some of my hottest hits. 13 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:13,334 Including Cheerleader Debutantes 3: Gettin' Wet, 14 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:17,238 Debutante Nurses 9: Missionary Impossible, 15 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,339 and, of course, 16 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:21,542 Candys Sriper Cutey 14: You've Got Tail. 17 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,744 So, join all your favorite stars, 18 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,546 including Autumn Bliss. 19 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:26,747 Give me a T! 20 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,650 Give me an A! 21 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,951 DIAMOND JIM: Daphne Cheeks. 22 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,621 (gasps) I'm so wet! (giggles) 23 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,389 DIAMOND JIM: Suzi Diablo. 24 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,790 (whip swooshes) Submit. 25 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:40,228 And, of course, the hottest piece of ass known to mankind, 26 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:40,994 Bambi. 27 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,530 I'm all yours. 28 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,698 But wait, there's more. 29 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,600 Start dialin' that phone, 30 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,903 'cause one of you lucky bastards could be the next winner 31 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,005 of one of these bitchin' prizes. 32 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,975 How 'bout a leather barcalounger? 33 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,645 Treated with Tru Stain Guard, (phone rings) 34 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:01,382 or, an '86 Fiero. LESTER: Come on. 35 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,384 DIAMOND JIM: Saline racing package 36 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,353 and bumper bra. (laughs) 37 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,387 Come on. 38 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,256 The granddaddy of 'em all. 39 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,592 The vintage Diamond Jim Porn Booth. 40 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,927 Signed by me, Diamond Jim. 41 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,464 All your dreams come true right here. 42 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,532 Sit back, relax... LESTER: Hello? 43 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,000 Awesome. (door chimes) 44 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:20,701 VOICEOVER: What's your name? 45 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,803 Uh, me, Lester Watts. 46 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,804 W-A-T-T-S. 47 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,839 (bell rings) 48 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,441 Uh, I'm a boxers man. 49 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,009 Average size, pry, you know, 50 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,379 (coughs nervously) five and seven eighths inches. 51 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,680 But it's really wide. 52 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,348 Devastating girth. 53 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,617 Last night, or this morning, 54 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,951 and, like, 20 minutes ago at lunch. 55 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,488 And a pack of smokes. 56 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,723 If I had to choose, uh, 57 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,893 probably nipple clamps over strap-on. 58 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,297 Tapped? 59 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,233 What else do I like. 60 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,869 Fucking sixth graders! 61 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,606 VOICEOVER: Gross. 62 00:03:58,672 --> 00:03:59,940 No, no, no, no, that's not what I meant. 63 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,442 Hello? 64 00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:02,843 Hello? 65 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:06,046 God! (phone slams against counter) 66 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,415 God! 67 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,484 Hey, man of the hour, what's up? 68 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,352 How'd it go? 69 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,185 I got it. 70 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:12,786 LESTER: What? CARL: Yeah. 71 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:13,487 You just got it? 72 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,322 And it was beautiful. 73 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:17,725 I just sat down, eye to eye, 74 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,327 and the guy caved on everything. 75 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,463 Huge raise, fat title, sick office. 76 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,597 The works. 77 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,098 Tracy, how'd she take it when you told her 78 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,967 you were leavin' her daddy's firm? 79 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,602 No, no, I haven't, uh, 80 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,603 you know, I haven't told her. 81 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,339 Oh, Jesus Christ, man. 82 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,006 You're not giving her enough credit. 83 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,875 You know, she's a great girl. 84 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,877 Alright, and she wants what's best for me. 85 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,912 Because that is what's best for us, 86 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,349 for the Tracy Carl unit, and... 87 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,417 (spits) 88 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,489 Did you just say to me the Tracy Carl unit? 89 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,690 Bro. 90 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,492 I've had your back since the bloody asphalt days 91 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,427 of third grade dodge ball. 92 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,863 Tim Wheatley hit you in the face with a basketball. 93 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,830 Knocked you out. 94 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,065 What did I do? 95 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,600 I held him down and farted in his mouth, Carl. 96 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,369 I know, and I appreciate that. 97 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,503 You know I appreciate that. 98 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,372 I know what's best for you. 99 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,106 And, if I was about to cut my balls off, 100 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,975 I hope that a good friend 101 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,778 would stand up and tell me that I'm an asshole. 102 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,480 So, Carl, as a friend, 103 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,547 you're an asshole. 104 00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,582 Lester. 105 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,550 I promise, everything's gonna be okay. 106 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,485 Alright? 107 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,790 It's gonna be fine. 108 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,726 Are you out of your fucking mind? 109 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,062 Leaving Daddy's firm after all he's done for you, for us. 110 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,498 Well, yes, I know, but... 111 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,532 The wedding. 112 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,801 It's a hundred grand. 113 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,868 Who's paying? 114 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,404 Oh, that's right, Daddy. 115 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,070 Honeymoon? 116 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,072 Ding, Daddy again. 117 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,408 Well, he's very generous. 118 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,543 I just don't understand why you'd want to leave anyway. 119 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,578 My brothers love it there, and so does Uncle Larry. 120 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:45,646 And Mommy comes by everyday 121 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,515 with a healthy, homemade nutritious lunch 122 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,517 you claim you just love. 123 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,553 That is, unless you've been lying 124 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:53,821 to me. 125 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,722 Hmm? 126 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,591 Little liar. 127 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:58,759 Are you, Carl? 128 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,694 I am not a liar, I love your mother's cooking. 129 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,495 I just think that I... 130 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,630 Carl, sweetie, you've just, 131 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,797 you've got to have an open mind about this, 132 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,935 and realize that leaving Daddy's firm is simply 133 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,036 not gonna happen. 134 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,671 Okay, baby? 135 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,139 End of discussion. 136 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,010 Is the filo okay, though? 137 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,579 Hmm, a little cold. 138 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:19,513 Whoops. 139 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,590 Mm. 140 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,558 Mm, mm-hmm. 141 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,661 That's a good choice. 142 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,895 You know what? 143 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,465 You don't even have to tell me. 144 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,667 I wanna guess, is that okay? 145 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,135 You sat down eye to eye and you folded like a little bitch. 146 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,437 Am I wrong? 147 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:47,140 So you got the same title, no raise, shitty office. 148 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,075 What did you call it? 149 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,009 The works! 150 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,513 It's Monday morning, welcome to Hell. 151 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,483 I mean, why is she so mad at you all the time? 152 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,150 I mean, c'mon, bro. 153 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,152 I think you're the one that should be pissed, my friend. 154 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,055 I was thinking that maybe 155 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:05,058 I should buy her something, you know, that's special, 156 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,194 but, also, creative. 157 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,631 Ooh, like, get her a retard with a box of crayons. 158 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,032 With one of them sharpeners, so he can sharpen it 159 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,836 and then take the shavings and put 'em all over his face. 160 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,004 You're going to Hell. 161 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,171 Well, you know what, no, I'm not going to Hell. 162 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,073 Retards love crayons. 163 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:22,543 What are you doing? 164 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,376 No, no, no, no, don't be that guy. 165 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,145 I'm not calling her, alright. 166 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,213 Who are you callin'? 167 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,548 I'm calling to decline the job offer. 168 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,917 Don't be rash, okay, you don't have to call right now. 169 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:30,951 Give it the weekend. 170 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:31,752 Why give it the weekend? 171 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:32,953 I mean, what is the point? 172 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:33,921 What's gonna happen this weekend that's gonna... 173 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:38,058 (knocking on door) (dog barks) 174 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,861 (curious music) 175 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,532 (wood creaks) 176 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,666 (panel slams on floor) 177 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,735 (gasps) 178 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,072 Um. 179 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,508 Did you buy this? 180 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,546 I don't know. 181 00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,747 I've been pretty blackout drunk 182 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,048 for the last week and a half, thanks for asking. 183 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,249 But, no, I feel like I won it. 184 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,686 I vaguely remember calling some sweepstakes. 185 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,655 I hope I didn't buy this. 186 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,956 This thing's priceless, I couldn't have bought it. 187 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:09,923 I couldn't afford this. 188 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,058 Really? 189 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,926 And I'm the one who has to rethink my life. 190 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,161 Yeah, you do. 191 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,165 Let's plug this sucker in, huh? 192 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,268 This is a piece of history, my man. 193 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,670 I mean, this is how they kicked it old school. 194 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:23,771 There was no internet back them. 195 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,504 Just grab a roll of quarters, get on in, 196 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,673 and get your horn off. 197 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:29,109 Thanks for the history lesson, plug it in, huh? 198 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,112 (static) (booth whirs) 199 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,246 It works. 200 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,247 CARL: It seems to, yeah. 201 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,584 Let's check it out. 202 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,886 (Carl scoffs) C'mon! 203 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:39,953 It's like a time machine, 204 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,021 taking you back to porn's glory days. 205 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:45,859 Uh-huh, why am I longing for those days? 206 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:49,296 This is a vintage Diamond Jim porn booth, okay? 207 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,931 You know who Diamond Jim is. 208 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,132 No, I don't. 209 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,302 Think Spielberg, okay. 210 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,138 That's the kind of influence that this man had on porn. 211 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,608 I mean, before Diamond Jim, 212 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,375 porno was dark and dirty and hairy 213 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,278 and Diamond Jim just changed everything. 214 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,681 DJ made porn fun, okay? 215 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,651 And fun is something that you are sorely lacking these days. 216 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,752 Any fun that's left in you 217 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,754 is gonna be sucked out by you know who. 218 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,122 Alright. 219 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,123 And not from your (whistles) 'cause she doesn't do that. 220 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,258 That's inappropriate, she's a lady. 221 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,326 Get in the porn booth Carl, 222 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,293 and I'll show you some real ladies. 223 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,031 CARL: That's great. LESTER: Yeah. 224 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,800 LESTER: Carl. CARL: What? 225 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,868 Trust me, get in the porn booth. 226 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,069 I'm not gettin' in there. 227 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,705 It's vintage, that means used, used means sticky. 228 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,373 I'm not gettin' in there. 229 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,241 You don't like sticky? 230 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,408 No. 231 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,476 You don't mind sittin' on the couch. (chuckles) 232 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,647 CARL: You fowl... LESTER: Let's go! 233 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,849 LESTER: Carl, trust me. 234 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,258 Pick your flick! (porn music) 235 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,763 CARL: Wow, someone had a real thing for nurses. 236 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,230 They're nice people. 237 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,767 Okay, Carl, they're helpers. 238 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,403 Holy shit, Sorority Surprise? 239 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,739 That's insane, no way, no, no, no, no. 240 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:06,874 Why? 241 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,175 Sorority Surprise, you never heard of it? 242 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,376 I never have. 243 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,912 It's Diamond Jim's experimental masterpiece. 244 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,346 It was an epic, days in the making, 245 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,215 only to disappear off the face of the planet. 246 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,285 Some people say Diamond Jim went insane trying to finish it. 247 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,287 Other people say it was the two scoops of cocaine 248 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,855 he put on his Raisin Bran every morning. 249 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,356 But, here it is. 250 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,393 Hey, bud, pick your flick. 251 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,828 This will put a smile on your face. 252 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,162 I bet it will. 253 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,999 Alright. 254 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,333 Let's get it on. 255 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,906 Are you doing that? 256 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,074 (dramatic music) (booth rattles and knocks) 257 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,743 What is happening, why is it happening? 258 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,044 When will it stop? 259 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,113 Stop this shit! (dog barks) 260 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,247 Dude, bail! 261 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,019 (screams) 262 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,062 (coughing and gagging) 263 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,966 Whoa, that was intense. 264 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:07,801 Are you okay? 265 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:08,936 I think so. 266 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,138 Man, where are we? 267 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,405 (police sirens wail) Carl! 268 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,340 Carl! 269 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,779 (porn music) 270 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:20,748 Freeze! 271 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,481 Put your hands up! 272 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,916 I said freeze! 273 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,885 Get your hands up. 274 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,419 You want us to freeze or get our hands up? 275 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,387 Shut up, punk. 276 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,189 Brittany, frisk 'em. 277 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,459 Jeez! 278 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,198 I think we have a concealed weapon here. 279 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,232 It's not what you think. 280 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,902 Is that booze I smell on your breath? 281 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,773 I'm sorry, officer, we did not do anything wrong here. 282 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,407 BRUNETTE COP: Oh yeah? CARL: Ow! 283 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,442 How's malicious jaywalking sound? 284 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,778 With intent. 285 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:51,879 Made up. 286 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,081 No, really, officer, how do I know you? 287 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,382 And you, too, college? 288 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,416 I mean, I really didn't go to college. 289 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,717 I used to deal weed there. 290 00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,219 I didn't really deal weed there, but I'm just sayin'. 291 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,520 How do I know you, AA? 292 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,955 Silence. 293 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,924 (spray fizzes) Oh my God! 294 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,126 (screams) 295 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,866 (gasps) 296 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,235 Are those regulation uniforms? 297 00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,537 VOICEOVER: Any available please head down south. 298 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,872 Please head down south. 299 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,042 VOICEOVER: Detective Cannon, strip search in room one. 300 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,444 (porn music) 301 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,064 (chair clangs on floor) 302 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,868 You wanna cop to or walk the block? 303 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:51,371 'Cause Rod Cannon has got the numbers on you. 304 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,305 And good. 305 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,277 (scoffs) 306 00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,212 I get it. (pounds table) 307 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,148 That's the book on you, huh? 308 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,984 That's the book on you, smart guy, talkin' the talk? 309 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,886 Well, listen up, and you better listen good. 310 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,021 You better check wise, 311 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,857 and sing the rumble. 312 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,024 Or before you know it, 313 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,525 you might find yourself on the rub out highway 314 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,161 to Nowheresville. 315 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,402 That was the gun, son. 316 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,973 You don't wanna see the cannon. 317 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,078 Get this dumb mug outta my sight. 318 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:35,415 (chair clangs across floor) 319 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,716 (door slams) 320 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,652 VOICEOVER: We have a wet spill in the supply closet. 321 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,323 Attention janitorial, we have a wet spill. 322 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:48,161 Well, well. (porn music) 323 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,030 What do we have here? 324 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,034 Just another piece of meat, mm. 325 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,403 I... 326 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,072 (sharp slaps) 327 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,014 Another outburst like that, 328 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,983 and I will send you straight to the hole. 329 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,985 Uh... (baton whooshes sharply) 330 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,653 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 331 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,322 Just listen, okay? 332 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,290 All I know is I'm hangin' out with my buddy, 333 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,960 and the next thing you know there's lights 334 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,062 and then there's sound. 335 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,364 And then we slam into the ground, okay? 336 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,033 There was cops. 337 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,234 Titty cops! 338 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,202 (sharp slap) 339 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:32,005 Then they kicked me in the balls and they maced me. 340 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,474 And now I'm here, that's all I know. 341 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,244 You think I haven't heard that one before, do you? 342 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,112 (porn music) 343 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:43,183 (women shout in the background) 344 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,427 (footsteps) 345 00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:01,068 VOICEOVER: Officers Amanda and Shauna to the first floor 346 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,936 for prisoner release. 347 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,242 You better get used to it, bitches. 348 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,178 You're the fuckin' bitch. 349 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,245 Bitch. 350 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,214 Shut up, you stupid bitch. 351 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,149 Why don't you make me, bitch? 352 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,219 (screams and yowls) 353 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,255 Don't hurt her. 354 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,660 Wait a minute. 355 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,399 Have we met somewhere before or somethin'? 356 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:33,666 I don't know. 357 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,403 I see punks like you every day. 358 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,373 Oh my God. 359 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:42,709 You're 360 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:47,614 (snaps finger) Suzi, Suzi Diablo. 361 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,548 Look. 362 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:53,553 We can either do this the easy way, 363 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,089 or we can do it the hard way. 364 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,293 Wait a minute, I know the answers. 365 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,429 I know the next line. 366 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,031 SUZY: Yes? 367 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,332 Could it get any harder? 368 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:06,066 Oh yeah. 369 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:11,171 (porn music) (moaning) 370 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,573 I think it just did. 371 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,541 Bingo. 372 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,078 (screaming and moaning) 373 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:25,185 (porn music) (moaning) 374 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,119 Oh. 375 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,156 (moans) 376 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,434 You guys wanna... 377 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,270 'Cause it's opened. 378 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,671 No, we're good. 379 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,408 You're good, yeah. 380 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,315 (fabric rips) 381 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,350 One way or another, 382 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,852 you're gonna tell me what I want to know. 383 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,090 Even if I have to suck it out of you. 384 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,192 Oh, I'm not talkin'! 385 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,526 I'm not talkin'. 386 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,262 You can't get me to talk. CARL: Lester. 387 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,230 Hey Lester. (exciting music) 388 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,764 Oh my God! 389 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,233 What is he doing here? 390 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,234 Uh, baby, it's okay. 391 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,368 That's my buddy. 392 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,103 Dude, you don't understand. 393 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,870 She needs information. 394 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:18,871 I can explain. 395 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,373 Well, that's great, explain later. 396 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,541 C'mon, c'mon. 397 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,243 You can't get away. 398 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:27,046 I'll track you down until I get what I want. 399 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,784 CARL: Let's go, let's go, c'mon. 400 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,719 Excuse me! 401 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,792 (people talking and laughing) 402 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:44,197 ("Out on the Streets" by Bang Camaro) 403 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,666 Oh my God. 404 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,502 (screaming) 405 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,772 (girls shouting) 406 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,174 What? 407 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,844 (girls talking and laughing) 408 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,853 (coughs) 409 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,592 (engine revs) 410 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,228 (tires squeal) 411 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,229 This way. 412 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,670 (tires screech) 413 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,607 This is all my fault. 414 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,909 Don't sweat it, sista. 415 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,644 We're gonna track house to house. 416 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,713 We're gonna bag those plugs, 417 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,582 before the blue plate hits the counter. 418 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,616 Yeah? 419 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,751 Oh yeah. (porn music) 420 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,820 (moans) 421 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,325 Whoa! (record scratches) 422 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,794 (record scratches) 423 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,262 Can it, chippy. 424 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,231 Can it. 425 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,734 Rod's always here for the takin', you know that. 426 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,536 But, with these punks, 427 00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:01,341 these mugs, these goofa loofa doofa loose in my engine. 428 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,643 It's track one for trouble time. 429 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,245 Okay. 430 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,679 I think. 431 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,614 Okay. 432 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,948 (engine revs) 433 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,684 (tires squeal) 434 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,791 Oh my God, I am so wet! 435 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,931 (screams) It's so cold! 436 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,367 Ooh, and now I'm way wetter than you are. 437 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,901 Nuh-huh, I'm way wetter. 438 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,603 Woo, girls! 439 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,704 Now you're both wet. 440 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,473 Alright, let's take a vote. 441 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,375 ALL: Yes, Mrs. Bliss. 442 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,409 Who's wetter? 443 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,310 Brandy 444 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,645 or Mandy? 445 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,648 (giggles) I wanna play! 446 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,950 (laughter) 447 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,288 Woo, now you're the wettest! 448 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,792 Have you ever seen anything like this? 449 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,461 Yes. 450 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,463 Yes, my friend, I have. 451 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,032 This is the opening scene of Dirty Talking Coeds. 452 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,934 Alright, that's enough of the jokes, I'm serious, alright? 453 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,102 Bro, this is not a joke. 454 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:06,406 And I don't even know how to be more serious. 455 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,840 And, like, wow. 456 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,777 This is definitely the wettest I've ever been. 457 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,844 Excuse me? 458 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,915 (gasps) Like, wow. 459 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,018 This is definitely the wettest I've ever been. 460 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:19,952 (curious music) 461 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:20,887 What? 462 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,791 Yeah. 463 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:25,525 That chick, back at the police station, 464 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,527 her name is Suzi Diablo. 465 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,861 She's a porn star. 466 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,631 She's a black belt in S&M, she's nothin' but trouble. 467 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:32,965 And this girl... 468 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,768 Alright girls! (girls scream) 469 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,305 Her name is Autumn Bliss. 470 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,840 She's the den mother here at Tri Pi Sorority. 471 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,008 She keeps the girls in line. 472 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,577 Dirty little hussies. 473 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,613 And her, that there is Daphne Cheeks. 474 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,480 The blonde one. 475 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,981 She's a water sports specialist, 476 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:49,982 if you know what I'm sayin'. 477 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,751 It's one of my personal favorites. 478 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:53,553 And in 5, 4, 3, 2... 479 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,824 (rock music) 480 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,329 That is Bambi Cummings. 481 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:07,600 She is the best of the best, Carl. 482 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,635 I'll take that, Bambi. 483 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,569 Thanks. 484 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,473 Hi, girls. 485 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,274 GIRLS: Hi, Bambi! 486 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,310 Hi, Bambi. 487 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,413 End of story. 488 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:23,583 Carl. 489 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,753 I think we have to seriously consider the possibility 490 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,488 that we died back there. 491 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,390 We got electrocuted in that booth 492 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:33,726 and now we've somehow made it to Heaven. 493 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,095 Praise Jesus. 494 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:36,963 No, no. 495 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,466 This is just a bad, drunk dream. 496 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:42,369 And, any minute, I am gonna wake up 497 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,504 and everything will be the way it was. 498 00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:46,639 Well, not exactly. 499 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,040 Diamond Jim. 500 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,142 In the flesh, my friend. 501 00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,812 And, please, call me DJ. 502 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,046 DJ, please, tell my this is 503 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,482 some sort of dream or something. 504 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,684 Or, are we dead? 505 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,051 Well, the answer's yes and no. 506 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,453 Told you. 507 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,554 See, it's like this. 508 00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:02,822 On the one hand, 509 00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:05,792 you've taken on an alternative form of existence. 510 00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,595 Which could be construed as some sort of a dream-like state. 511 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,431 But, on the other hand, since you physically traveled here, 512 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,499 you no longer exist back home, 513 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,401 so, technically, you're considered dead. 514 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,735 Yes! 515 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,670 But, not really, 'cause you're here, and you're alive. 516 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:18,938 Huh? 517 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,072 So, wait, wait, wait. 518 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:22,008 Are you saying that we 519 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,078 have traveled to some sort of 520 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:29,682 alternate porno flick dimension? 521 00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:33,185 Or perhaps, if you will, a Pornoville? 522 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:36,423 Well, if it looks like porno and, uh, smells like porno. 523 00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,558 It must be porno! 524 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,492 Oh yes! 525 00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:42,028 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 526 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:44,697 No, no, no, no, no, this is not happening. 527 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,599 Oh, it's happening, Carl. 528 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:49,469 You see, you were brought here for a reason. 529 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:52,171 And, like any great journey, 530 00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:55,908 the true adventure is figuring that reason out. 531 00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:56,909 Or somethin'. 532 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,111 Cool, I love meaningful journeys. 533 00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,379 If you could just do me a favor 534 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,750 and point me in the direction of one of those, um, 535 00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:04,851 dimension altering porn booths, 536 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,853 and I'll just make my way home. 537 00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:10,056 Carl, you don't punch your ticket home 538 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,459 until you complete your journey. 539 00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:13,826 No fast-forwarding. 540 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:14,961 You dig, son? 541 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:16,996 Now, here are the rules. 542 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:17,930 Listen up. 543 00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:21,601 There are none! (laughs) 544 00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,202 Shut the fuck up, no way. 545 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,037 Wait, now, hang on. 546 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,405 Is there one? 547 00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:29,876 Shit, I don't remember, hey, 548 00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,478 do whatever the hell you want. 549 00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:32,879 It gets better, huh? 550 00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,080 But, uh, boys? 551 00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,815 Piece of advice. 552 00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,617 Just keep it simple. 553 00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:40,787 (laughter) 554 00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,790 Oh, he's gone. 555 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,091 Freak. 556 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:49,061 Okay, so, we can't hide out here in the open then. 557 00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,197 Um, hey, we can hide up there. 558 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,899 They have an attic up there that they never use. 559 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:53,966 How do you know? 560 00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:55,768 Because, in Coed Cupcakes 9, 561 00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,970 the girls have a seance with a vibrating Ouija board 562 00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,673 that they think is haunted by a ghost with a 20-inch schlong 563 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,041 that they call the Cockness Monster 564 00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,945 that lives in the attic that they never use. 565 00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:07,947 Oh, I should've been a better friend to you, huh? 566 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:08,815 Yeah. 567 00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:09,549 Great. 568 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,583 Alright, fine, let's go. 569 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,619 Okay, but first, we have to hide here 570 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,920 for five more minutes. 571 00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:14,954 Why? 572 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,924 They're about to have an orgy, bro. 573 00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:20,927 Fine, let's go. 574 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:23,530 ("Out on the Streets" by Bang Camaro) 575 00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:27,500 (girls laughing and squealing) 576 00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,105 Huh? 577 00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:36,909 This is hilarious. (laughs) 578 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,011 Look at this. 579 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,013 CARL: What? LESTER: Check this out. 580 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:41,948 Oh shit! 581 00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:46,553 Why do they need all this desert, I don't understand. 582 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,255 (girls giggling) 583 00:24:58,898 --> 00:24:59,899 Ooh la la! 584 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:01,734 God, that was fun. 585 00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:04,070 I know, and we've only just begun. 586 00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:05,004 Woo! 587 00:25:06,405 --> 00:25:08,274 Look at what I've got. 588 00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,779 Little whipped cream. 589 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:13,813 (squeals) 590 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,247 Mm, any chocolate to go with that? 591 00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:16,182 Maybe. 592 00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,051 That feels good. 593 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:21,287 Ooh. 594 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,222 Don't forget the cherries, girls. 595 00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,257 BOTH: We won't, Mrs. Bliss! 596 00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:26,859 Here, lick that. 597 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:27,794 Mm! 598 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:32,298 Mm, you're my favorite sundae, yummy. 599 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:33,232 Here. 600 00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:36,903 (giggling) 601 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,550 Hey, no, no, no, no, no. 602 00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:53,219 Lester, we gotta go, we gotta go. 603 00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,420 They forgot the cherries, Carl. 604 00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:57,156 They forgot the cherries! CARL: We gotta go! 605 00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:59,892 They forgot the cherries! 606 00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,027 We gotta go! 607 00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:01,961 Compose! 608 00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:03,963 Compose. 609 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:08,701 (tense music) 610 00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:13,773 (girls giggling and talking) 611 00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:17,710 Oh yeah, extra, extra. 612 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:18,377 I'll bring Mr. Booboo. 613 00:26:18,444 --> 00:26:20,680 Oh, good idea! 614 00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:22,882 I'm gonna take a shower. 615 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,757 But I always take showers. 616 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,007 Oh yeah, I forgot. 617 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:51,678 (giggles) You're silly! 618 00:26:58,384 --> 00:27:00,219 You can change in here if you want. 619 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,790 Ooh, um, how about we meet in the shower? 620 00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:06,726 Okay. (giggles) 621 00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:14,967 ("Push Push" by Bang Camaro) 622 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,783 * Oh 623 00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:47,800 * Oh 624 00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,342 * Ooh, come on 625 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:58,745 * I wanna take you higher 626 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,446 * Ooh, come on 627 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,415 * Let's make electric fire 628 00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:07,086 * Push push lady lightening 629 00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:09,188 * Push 630 00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:11,991 * Push 631 00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:15,795 * Push push lady lightening 632 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:17,897 * Push 633 00:28:17,964 --> 00:28:19,899 * Push 634 00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:24,737 (door slams) 635 00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:28,307 (screams) 636 00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,444 Who are you, and what are you doing in my closet? 637 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,480 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can explain. 638 00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:35,748 Yeah, you better, or I start screaming. 639 00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:38,084 No, no, don't scream, don't scream, please, please. 640 00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:40,987 Um, okay, I came here in a booth. 641 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,322 A movie booth, but it's not a movie booth, 642 00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,793 it's a time portal dimension jumping... 643 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,095 You sure you wanna hear this? 644 00:28:49,161 --> 00:28:51,497 Oh, I'm quite sure, mm-hmm. 645 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:56,368 Quality control, ma'am. 646 00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:59,839 Uh, I have been inspecting these items. 647 00:29:02,308 --> 00:29:04,410 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to seize them all. 648 00:29:04,476 --> 00:29:05,344 What? 649 00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:08,180 Even Mr. Booboo? 650 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:10,516 Oh, especially Mr. Booboo. 651 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:14,320 So, you're from outer space? 652 00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:19,391 CARL: Uh, no, not exactly. BAMBI: You gonna eat me? 653 00:29:19,458 --> 00:29:21,894 I'm not, no, no, I'm not gonna do anything to you. 654 00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:24,463 I just, I need to go home. 655 00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:25,531 Oh. 656 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:27,399 Gee, mister. 657 00:29:27,466 --> 00:29:31,137 Are you absolutely positive you have to take all of them? 658 00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:32,839 Absolutely sure. 659 00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:35,307 Well, are you sure there's 660 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:38,444 nothing I can do to change your mind? 661 00:29:40,346 --> 00:29:43,950 Well, I, uh... (laughs) 662 00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,354 I'm sure that, uh... 663 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,421 (giggles) 664 00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:50,356 I, uh... 665 00:29:52,358 --> 00:29:54,493 (giggles) 666 00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:05,337 (growls) 667 00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:06,505 (sighs sensually) 668 00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:07,373 (hisses) 669 00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:08,240 (gasps) 670 00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:12,411 (growling, hissing, and moaning) 671 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:22,354 And where did you land here? 672 00:30:22,421 --> 00:30:24,924 I dunno, there was an alley. 673 00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,993 And, um, we got arrested. (tires squealing) 674 00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:29,461 I mean, everything was just happening so fast. 675 00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:32,932 It looks like things aren't slowing down any time soon. 676 00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:35,434 (tires screech) 677 00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:38,037 (porn music) 678 00:30:45,611 --> 00:30:46,812 Oh no, that's that guy. 679 00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:49,181 That's that crazy detective guy with the toothpick, 680 00:30:49,248 --> 00:30:50,182 and I don't know what he's saying. 681 00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:51,583 Yeah, that's Detective Rod Cannon. 682 00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,485 He always gets his man. 683 00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:54,987 You guys gotta hide. 684 00:30:55,054 --> 00:30:55,787 You gonna help us? 685 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,389 Of course, silly. (giggles) 686 00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:58,524 Oh, thanks. 687 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,060 (squeals) 688 00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:03,262 (giggles) 689 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:05,631 (screams) 690 00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:07,599 Daphne, you gotta hide these two and quick! 691 00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:08,935 Rod is here. 692 00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:09,768 Rod Cannon? 693 00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:11,170 The long schlong of the law? 694 00:31:11,237 --> 00:31:12,171 Rod Cannon? 695 00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:16,408 Did he interrogate you? 696 00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:17,609 Yeah, kinda. 697 00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:21,213 Oh, shit, bro. (squeals) 698 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,616 You do not wanna be caught by Rod. 699 00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:27,319 He always gets his man. 700 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:28,620 If you know what I mean. 701 00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:30,489 I usually don't know what you mean, 702 00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:32,724 and it's no exception right now. 703 00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:35,127 (panting) 704 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,566 (knocks on door) 705 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,368 Well. 706 00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:47,739 If it isn't Rod Cannon. (porn music) 707 00:31:47,806 --> 00:31:49,508 Afternoon, Mrs. Bliss. 708 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:51,510 What can I do for you today, Detective? 709 00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:53,312 Official business. 710 00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:54,213 Rod. 711 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:59,718 You know boys aren't allowed upstairs without an escort. 712 00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:03,122 Like I said, sweetie, it's official. 713 00:32:10,062 --> 00:32:11,197 He's coming. 714 00:32:12,198 --> 00:32:14,933 (excited music) 715 00:32:25,211 --> 00:32:26,078 (knocks on door) 716 00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,080 Open up, police. 717 00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:29,281 Hey, guys. 718 00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:30,216 What's up? 719 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,685 Step aside, please. 720 00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:35,521 I need to have a look see. 721 00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:36,455 In there. 722 00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:39,025 Cool. 723 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,592 Something wrong? 724 00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:43,095 Well, that's confidential. 725 00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:44,030 Mm. 726 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:45,998 Awesome. 727 00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:47,466 Have fun. 728 00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:48,400 Okay. 729 00:32:55,774 --> 00:32:56,842 So. 730 00:32:56,908 --> 00:33:01,080 You girls seen anything out of the ordinary? 731 00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:02,014 Mm-mm. 732 00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,052 (giggles) 733 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,321 Somethin' funny? 734 00:33:10,589 --> 00:33:11,690 DAPHNE: No. 735 00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:12,291 BAMBI: Rod, is there something we should be 736 00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:13,992 worried about? 737 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:19,198 I'm a workin' man, cupcake. 738 00:33:19,265 --> 00:33:21,767 So, that's Detective Cannon to you. 739 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:24,170 And, please, I'm the one asking the questions here, missy. 740 00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:25,237 You understand? 741 00:33:25,304 --> 00:33:26,105 (vibrator hums) 742 00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:26,772 Turn it off! 743 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,307 I don't know how. 744 00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:29,675 How long you had this for? 745 00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,077 I don't know how to do it. 746 00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:33,011 You know how to do it. 747 00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:37,383 How long do you want me to have had it for? 748 00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:38,450 (stuffed animal quacks) 749 00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:40,752 (moans) 750 00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:44,090 (porn music) 751 00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:45,023 Oh. 752 00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:48,227 Rod, are you gonna tell us what's going on or not? 753 00:33:48,294 --> 00:33:49,461 Nothin' I can't handle. 754 00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,762 Just a couple hoods on the lam. 755 00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:52,298 You know me. 756 00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:54,766 (bat whooshes through the air) 757 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:55,634 I always get my man. 758 00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:56,468 (bat whooshes through the air) 759 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,271 Let's smash it in the window. 760 00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:05,144 Whoa! 761 00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:07,179 One. 762 00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:08,046 Two. 763 00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:10,582 Three. (window slams shut) 764 00:34:10,649 --> 00:34:11,517 Ooh! 765 00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:17,656 (bat cracks against skull) (Carl shouts in pain) 766 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,292 (whimpering) 767 00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:25,797 You hear somethin'? 768 00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:27,533 BAMBI: No, what? DAPHNE: No. (giggles) 769 00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,435 Did you hear something, no, uh-huh. 770 00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:31,637 (giggles) 771 00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:36,742 (coughs) Alright. 772 00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,211 Guess my work here is done. 773 00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:44,583 Thanks, Rod, we already have your number. 774 00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:46,652 Jesus Christ! (Carl whimpers) 775 00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:47,619 BAMBI: Oh my God! 776 00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:48,687 CARL: Ow! 777 00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:53,259 We have to get you guys to the hospital. 778 00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,494 No, no, we don't need doctors. 779 00:34:55,561 --> 00:34:57,829 Yes, and, besides, there's lots of crazy gadgets there. 780 00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:00,866 Maybe one of them can help you get home. 781 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:04,236 Oh, okay, thank you, that's nice. 782 00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:06,438 Let me just do my hair first, my hospital hair. 783 00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,374 Hospital hair, okay. 784 00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:11,843 What's happening? 785 00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:12,978 Wouldn't you say you're risking 786 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:16,648 quite a bit for this mysterious stranger? 787 00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:18,284 You know me. 788 00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,453 I'm always a sucker for the new guy. 789 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,922 (giggles) Jeez. 790 00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:27,393 And Carl is just so sweet and helpless. 791 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,860 I mean, look at them. 792 00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:29,728 (groaning) 793 00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:30,662 Oh. 794 00:35:31,897 --> 00:35:33,532 Oh. 795 00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:37,803 So, every day these palookas ride the streets 796 00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,371 is an embarrassment. 797 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:40,972 An embarrassment, not only to me, 798 00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,575 but to the entire department. 799 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,544 No one, and I mean no one, 800 00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:47,846 makes a clean sneak from the clubhouse and walks. 801 00:35:47,913 --> 00:35:48,947 Not on my watch. 802 00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,716 Not on my watch. 803 00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:51,550 (door slams shut) 804 00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:52,618 Sir. 805 00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:55,221 I've just landed a tip. 806 00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:56,288 No, not that. 807 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:58,390 They've been spotted at the hospital. 808 00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:00,392 Diablo, slant the hospital. 809 00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,661 Dick, Lance, hit the campus. 810 00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:04,696 I want these hoods back by nightfall, 811 00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:06,765 or there will be hell to pay. 812 00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:07,766 Get out of here. 813 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:08,834 Come on, move, let's see movement. 814 00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:11,270 Let's move, let's move, let's move. 815 00:36:11,337 --> 00:36:13,439 Other way, other way, go. 816 00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:18,610 VOICEOVER: The pink zone is for unloading only. 817 00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:22,781 (rapid footsteps) (machinery beeps) 818 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:23,815 I've got a contorted labrum. 819 00:36:23,882 --> 00:36:27,253 I need 600 gallons of toxamagooem. 820 00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,053 What was that last word? 821 00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:29,921 Where'd you study medicine? 822 00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,591 This one here's got a humerus erectus and it's... 823 00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:33,592 Yeah, it's huge. 824 00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:38,196 (muffled words) What are you doing? 825 00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:42,901 Doctor, are they gonna be okay? 826 00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:45,904 Right now, it doesn't look good. 827 00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:47,573 But you sure as hell do. 828 00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,375 Is there anything that I can do? 829 00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:52,344 Well, I'm sure I can think of something. 830 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:53,279 Okay. 831 00:36:55,113 --> 00:36:57,283 VOICEOVER: All deliveries for Dr. Jellyfinger 832 00:36:57,349 --> 00:36:59,485 please use the rear entry. 833 00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:03,389 (gasps) Carl, what are you doing? 834 00:37:03,455 --> 00:37:04,256 Look, I have to get out of here. 835 00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,491 I can't waste my time with this. 836 00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:06,525 I've gotta find the portal, I've gotta get home. 837 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:09,295 Let's just grab Lester and we'll go. 838 00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,662 I can't. 839 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:11,963 Oh, yeah. 840 00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:14,032 I have to go to cheerleading practice. 841 00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:16,034 Tryouts are tomorrow. 842 00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:20,439 And, besides, we can't arouse any suspicions. 843 00:37:20,506 --> 00:37:21,473 Yeah, no, I understand. 844 00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:23,742 I mean, you've already done so much. 845 00:37:23,809 --> 00:37:25,544 But, I still wanna help. 846 00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:28,347 After you find Lester, come back to the Pi House, 847 00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:30,849 and Daphne and I will find you guys a place to hide. 848 00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:33,852 Right, okay, thanks, Bambi. 849 00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:36,388 Sure thing, and good luck. 850 00:37:43,462 --> 00:37:46,765 Uh, then, good luck to you, thank you. 851 00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:48,867 To you as... (coughs) 852 00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:51,570 (rock music) 853 00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:52,971 (sharp slap) 854 00:37:53,038 --> 00:37:55,441 (sharp slap) 855 00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:57,809 (sharp slap) 856 00:37:59,545 --> 00:38:00,879 Where are they? 857 00:38:06,184 --> 00:38:07,052 Oh! 858 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:15,026 Hey girls, yeah. 859 00:38:15,093 --> 00:38:17,496 Do you want to get it on with me? 860 00:38:17,563 --> 00:38:19,565 Do you want to do it? 861 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,500 Are you ready for your sponge bath? 862 00:38:21,567 --> 00:38:24,836 Uh, yeah. (porn music) 863 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,444 (laughs) Now turn over. 864 00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:33,311 Okay. 865 00:38:33,379 --> 00:38:36,648 We always start with the back. 866 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:37,916 But, don't worry. 867 00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:40,051 We always finish with the front. 868 00:38:40,118 --> 00:38:42,354 (laughs) 869 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:46,091 Oh yeah, you excited? 870 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,526 Not really. (chuckles) 871 00:38:47,593 --> 00:38:48,660 Oh, really? 872 00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:52,831 Oh yeah, get down in the crack there. 873 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,301 (intercom beeps) 874 00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:58,870 VOICEOVER: Dr. Bushwood, please prepare for an injection. 875 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:02,541 Dr. Bushwood, prepare for a big injection. 876 00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:04,109 Bubbly. 877 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,413 Shh. 878 00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:11,082 (gasps) 879 00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,519 Wow, that looked painful. 880 00:39:13,585 --> 00:39:15,086 Hello, Lesty. 881 00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:19,858 VOICEOVER: Dr. Dickblow, call gynecology stat. 882 00:39:19,925 --> 00:39:21,627 Ooh, baby. 883 00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:22,894 Looks like I'm all strapped in. 884 00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:27,132 It wasn't very nice, running out on me like that. 885 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,668 Oh, well, it's all about timing, baby. 886 00:39:29,735 --> 00:39:33,204 Look, I'm not going anywhere, so I guess 887 00:39:33,271 --> 00:39:36,475 now is the time, if you know what I'm sayin'? 888 00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:38,209 (tense music) 889 00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:39,878 What's that thing? 890 00:39:43,014 --> 00:39:43,882 Uh. 891 00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:48,987 I assure you, this, indeed, will hurt. 892 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,155 Wait! 893 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,691 You mean, like, role play hurt? 894 00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:53,759 Mm-hmm. 895 00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,961 Or, honest to God, hurt? 896 00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:58,063 Yeah. 897 00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:01,867 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, no, no, you don't wanna do that. 898 00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:02,801 Yes? 899 00:40:04,069 --> 00:40:06,738 Dr. Jellyfinger, Dr. Jellyfinger. 900 00:40:06,805 --> 00:40:07,939 Dr. Jellyfinger. CARL: Oh, no, that's not... 901 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:08,940 Your patient is waiting. 902 00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:11,009 I don't have patients. 903 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,044 What if I told you... 904 00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,748 (tense music) 905 00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,851 What if I told you that I'm a virgin? 906 00:40:22,688 --> 00:40:24,590 Aw, fuck it, I'm stalling. 907 00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:25,957 Get it over with. 908 00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,094 (screams) 909 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,598 (screams) 910 00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:35,801 Don't, uh, okay. 911 00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:39,070 Hello. 912 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,506 Doctor. 913 00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:42,908 It's so good to see you. 914 00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:43,842 So, um, 915 00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:45,844 what, uh, 916 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,547 seems to be the problem? 917 00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:50,649 It's my nipples. 918 00:40:50,716 --> 00:40:52,050 They taste funny. 919 00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:59,457 Okay, would you excuse me for... 920 00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:05,230 (screams) 921 00:41:06,264 --> 00:41:07,465 Oh, weird! 922 00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:10,569 Lester! (screams) 923 00:41:10,636 --> 00:41:11,903 Carl, help me! 924 00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,774 (chair clangs) 925 00:41:17,142 --> 00:41:18,009 Wow. 926 00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:20,078 You don't ever say a word about this. 927 00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:21,379 I don't know what you're talking... 928 00:41:21,446 --> 00:41:21,980 I don't, I have no idea what you're talking about. 929 00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:23,749 Good. Nothin'. 930 00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,019 (shouts) 931 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:29,087 My legs! 932 00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:29,955 Yes! 933 00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:32,758 (hectic music) 934 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,293 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's where we landed. 935 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,327 That's where we landed, that's where we dropped. 936 00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:38,697 I don't care, let's go, she's comin'. 937 00:41:38,764 --> 00:41:40,566 With that thing, let's go! 938 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:41,499 Come on! 939 00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:43,569 Um... 940 00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:47,238 Okay. 941 00:41:47,305 --> 00:41:48,974 It's still there. 942 00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:51,843 Don't touch me. 943 00:41:51,910 --> 00:41:53,111 I don't... 944 00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:54,980 I'm gonna count to three, okay? 945 00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,715 Keep 'em closed. 946 00:41:56,782 --> 00:41:57,649 One. 947 00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:00,652 (gasps) 948 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,587 (growls) 949 00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,689 (grunts) 950 00:42:05,924 --> 00:42:07,826 You never say a word about this, ever. 951 00:42:07,893 --> 00:42:08,794 Ever. 952 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:09,661 No, never. 953 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,998 Absolutely, I would not do that. 954 00:42:13,064 --> 00:42:14,866 (door bangs) 955 00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:19,070 Go, go, go, go, go! (high tempo music) 956 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,843 Gave you the slip, huh? 957 00:42:24,910 --> 00:42:26,077 Let me tell you somethin', missy. 958 00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:28,747 I want those twists bar-bound. 959 00:42:29,447 --> 00:42:30,315 Asap. 960 00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:33,284 It's not at your batch. 961 00:42:33,351 --> 00:42:34,753 Got me, sister? 962 00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:37,623 Move it. 963 00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:47,132 So, uh, why don't you tell me something about yourself. 964 00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:48,867 Okay, um, 965 00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:51,169 I'm 21 years old and I'm a Capricorn. 966 00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:55,907 I'm 5'7, 110 pounds, my measurements are 34C, 24, 34. 967 00:42:55,974 --> 00:42:58,143 My turn-ons include candle-light dinners, 968 00:42:58,209 --> 00:42:59,177 guys who make me laugh, 969 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,345 and long bubble baths, 970 00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:03,314 and my goal in life is to make the world smile. 971 00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:04,950 (chuckles) 972 00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:06,818 But, you know what? 973 00:43:06,885 --> 00:43:09,020 Lately I've been having these thoughts. 974 00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,355 New thoughts. 975 00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:14,325 I just think that there must be more to life than sex. 976 00:43:14,392 --> 00:43:17,663 Gosh, I mean, it's always sex. 977 00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:18,329 Just 978 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:19,197 sex, 979 00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:20,065 sex, 980 00:43:20,131 --> 00:43:21,332 sex. 981 00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:24,803 It seems like there might be something missing. 982 00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:28,239 Yeah, like, like love, perhaps. 983 00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:29,841 Love. 984 00:43:29,908 --> 00:43:31,743 What do you mean? 985 00:43:31,810 --> 00:43:32,944 Well, you know, love. 986 00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:35,914 When you have sex with someone that you love, 987 00:43:35,981 --> 00:43:36,915 the sex is better. 988 00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:38,750 Okay, so, I'm supposed to have sex 989 00:43:38,817 --> 00:43:40,351 with the people that I love. 990 00:43:40,418 --> 00:43:42,688 Yeah, absolutely. 991 00:43:42,754 --> 00:43:45,223 But, how do you know if you're falling in love? 992 00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:48,159 Well, that is the great mystery. 993 00:43:49,527 --> 00:43:53,131 Maybe it's something that you catch in a person's eye 994 00:43:53,198 --> 00:43:54,299 that touches you. 995 00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:57,235 Or, maybe it's the way that person treats you. 996 00:43:57,302 --> 00:44:01,707 The way that they understand, they listen. 997 00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:03,742 Let's make love. 998 00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:04,676 Right now. 999 00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:06,277 What? 1000 00:44:06,344 --> 00:44:08,179 You wanna make... 1001 00:44:08,246 --> 00:44:08,980 Now? 1002 00:44:09,047 --> 00:44:10,982 I gotta go to the bathroom. 1003 00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:11,649 What? 1004 00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:12,317 You don't love me? 1005 00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:13,151 No, it's not that. 1006 00:44:13,218 --> 00:44:16,121 I just, you know, I should... 1007 00:44:16,187 --> 00:44:17,455 Two seconds, give me two seconds. 1008 00:44:17,522 --> 00:44:18,389 Okay. 1009 00:44:20,291 --> 00:44:22,794 So, I found myself outside of San Antone 1010 00:44:22,861 --> 00:44:25,396 round abouts midnight on a cool January eve. 1011 00:44:25,463 --> 00:44:27,265 I was shacked up on an old Pentecostal church 1012 00:44:27,332 --> 00:44:28,867 with Ruby Joe Greenberg, 1013 00:44:28,934 --> 00:44:30,401 who's foot now with old Chief Redclaw. 1014 00:44:30,468 --> 00:44:31,502 He's outta Missoula way. 1015 00:44:31,569 --> 00:44:34,806 Makes his livin' tradin' arrowheads for 1016 00:44:34,873 --> 00:44:37,142 firewater and mescalin south of the border. 1017 00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,844 He carries around a dream catcher. 1018 00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:41,679 You wanna take a bath and fuck? 1019 00:44:43,148 --> 00:44:44,215 Yeah, okay. 1020 00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:46,184 Okay. 1021 00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:50,321 Some people say that it's not cheating 1022 00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:52,057 if you're in a different state. 1023 00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:54,425 So, I don't really see how it can be cheating 1024 00:44:54,492 --> 00:44:57,763 if you're in a different fucking dimension. 1025 00:44:57,829 --> 00:45:00,398 You gotta lighten up, bro. 1026 00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:04,302 Come on, alright, here, here's what you do, alright? 1027 00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:07,906 You go back in there and you man up. 1028 00:45:07,973 --> 00:45:10,508 You know, I think you need to realize something. 1029 00:45:10,575 --> 00:45:12,043 This is not a joke. 1030 00:45:12,110 --> 00:45:13,078 Alright? 1031 00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:13,945 If we don't figure out what's what, 1032 00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:15,313 we might be doomed here forever. 1033 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:20,285 I think you just might be overreacting just a little bit. 1034 00:45:20,351 --> 00:45:21,920 I mean, sure, things aren't going our way right now, 1035 00:45:21,987 --> 00:45:22,921 but, as soon we work out the kinks, 1036 00:45:22,988 --> 00:45:24,289 c'mon, everything's gonna be great. 1037 00:45:24,355 --> 00:45:27,392 Look, it's just, you know, I have a life to get back to. 1038 00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:28,426 You know, a real life. 1039 00:45:28,493 --> 00:45:30,028 And, uh, wait a minute. 1040 00:45:30,095 --> 00:45:32,463 You and I have a dog together. 1041 00:45:32,530 --> 00:45:35,901 Charlie! (dog burps) 1042 00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:37,235 Charlie, yeah. 1043 00:45:38,236 --> 00:45:39,104 Okay. 1044 00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:41,472 But, I'm gonna tell you what. 1045 00:45:41,539 --> 00:45:43,308 If I give all this up, 1046 00:45:43,374 --> 00:45:45,176 you have got to promise me, right now, 1047 00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,511 that when you get back, 1048 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,014 you at least try and make some changes in your life. 1049 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,816 I'm sorry, wait, what does that mean? 1050 00:45:50,882 --> 00:45:51,917 I don't want you goin' back 1051 00:45:51,983 --> 00:45:54,285 and living your same shitty life, Carl. 1052 00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:56,888 Wait a minute, I have a shitty life? 1053 00:45:56,955 --> 00:45:58,924 You have the shittiest life, yes. 1054 00:45:58,990 --> 00:45:59,791 You're about to marry a woman 1055 00:45:59,858 --> 00:46:01,927 who's not gonna let you be you. 1056 00:46:01,993 --> 00:46:04,896 Not only that, she's turned you into a bitch! 1057 00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:06,097 You're a little bitch! 1058 00:46:06,164 --> 00:46:07,132 She took 'em. 1059 00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:08,533 She owns 'em, and now you're a bitch. 1060 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:09,935 I don't even know you anymore. 1061 00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:10,836 Whoa! 1062 00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:11,903 Whoa. 1063 00:46:11,970 --> 00:46:13,038 Whoa. 1064 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,072 Whoa. 1065 00:46:14,139 --> 00:46:15,006 Whoa. 1066 00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:19,310 Whoa. 1067 00:46:23,481 --> 00:46:24,349 Come here. 1068 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,889 Alright, so, where should we look for the, uh, 1069 00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:31,990 the way to (snaps fingers). LESTER: Whoa. 1070 00:46:32,057 --> 00:46:33,992 I tell you what, I've got a million ideas 1071 00:46:34,059 --> 00:46:35,060 all brewin' right up here, 1072 00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:36,127 can't wait to get workin' on 'em asap. 1073 00:46:36,194 --> 00:46:38,396 But, first, you're gonna have to, uh, 1074 00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,999 you're gonna have to let me take a bath. 1075 00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:42,400 With Daphne. 1076 00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:44,202 She's ready to rock, so... 1077 00:46:44,269 --> 00:46:45,136 If I could get you to leave the bathroom, 1078 00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:46,404 it'd be really great. 1079 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:47,272 Okay. 1080 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,473 So, first thing tomorrow then. 1081 00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:49,207 LESTER: Oh yeah, totally, tomorrow, perfect. 1082 00:46:49,274 --> 00:46:50,942 Lookin' forward to it. 1083 00:46:51,009 --> 00:46:51,609 Have fun. 1084 00:46:51,676 --> 00:46:52,543 Okay. 1085 00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:59,117 Carl, that was the longest two seconds of my life. 1086 00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:01,887 This is about right. 1087 00:47:04,189 --> 00:47:06,491 (porn music) 1088 00:47:07,725 --> 00:47:08,526 (gasps) 1089 00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:10,461 Hello, poppy. 1090 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:13,098 I hoped you brought some ice. 1091 00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:15,033 Why would I need ice? 1092 00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:17,435 (kicks thud) 1093 00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:21,940 (kick thuds) 1094 00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:26,077 (gasps for air) 1095 00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:31,149 (groaning) 1096 00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:32,517 Hey, wait here. 1097 00:47:36,487 --> 00:47:39,224 (vomit splatters) 1098 00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:41,359 (groans) 1099 00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:44,862 (laughs) 1100 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,269 (groans) 1101 00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:53,538 I forgot. 1102 00:47:54,472 --> 00:47:55,706 You're a Tri Pi. 1103 00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:59,610 You pledged in Dirty Talking Coeds 11, I knew that. 1104 00:47:59,677 --> 00:48:00,545 So stupid! 1105 00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:05,383 (speaks in Spanish) 1106 00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:06,651 I don't know what you're sayin' to me. 1107 00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:09,120 I don't speak that languge, 1108 00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:11,189 (chair clangs) 1109 00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:12,723 (laughs) Bitch! 1110 00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:13,925 Yeah, Carl. 1111 00:48:16,261 --> 00:48:18,096 Oh my God, what is going on? 1112 00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:19,998 That is the woman from the hospital who, um... 1113 00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:22,167 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, she what? 1114 00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:23,568 I don't know her. 1115 00:48:24,702 --> 00:48:27,105 Who, um, who hurt Lester. 1116 00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:29,374 What a bitch. 1117 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,309 She puked on my face. 1118 00:48:31,376 --> 00:48:33,344 [Daphne and Bambi] Oh. 1119 00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:35,446 You need to find another place to hide. 1120 00:48:35,513 --> 00:48:36,647 Well, where? 1121 00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:46,624 Of all the places that Bambi could think of 1122 00:48:46,691 --> 00:48:47,625 for us to hide. 1123 00:48:47,692 --> 00:48:49,760 Hey, do I have puke in my eyebrow? 1124 00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,663 No, I got all of it, I think. 1125 00:48:52,730 --> 00:48:53,598 Lock it. 1126 00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:56,934 How they doin'? 1127 00:48:58,103 --> 00:48:59,770 Everything okay? 1128 00:48:59,837 --> 00:49:01,039 Look, you know, 1129 00:49:01,106 --> 00:49:01,906 Bambi is really going out of her way to help us, 1130 00:49:01,973 --> 00:49:05,343 and, by the way, so is Daphne. 1131 00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:07,545 I just, you know, I just think we should 1132 00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:10,748 make it easy on them, not get them into any more trouble. 1133 00:49:10,815 --> 00:49:13,584 You cocksucker, I knew it. 1134 00:49:13,651 --> 00:49:14,719 You're into her, aren't you? 1135 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:19,157 She's cute, but, uh, she's not even real. 1136 00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:20,558 First of all, Bambi Cummings 1137 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,560 is the hottest of the hot, Carl. 1138 00:49:22,627 --> 00:49:25,230 She is like microwave lasagna hot. 1139 00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:26,531 And, secondly, she wants you. 1140 00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:28,299 And I don't know why, I mean, it's retarded to me. 1141 00:49:28,366 --> 00:49:29,300 There's a million swingin' dicks here. 1142 00:49:29,367 --> 00:49:31,436 She could have any one she wants. 1143 00:49:31,502 --> 00:49:33,538 And she's chosen you. 1144 00:49:33,604 --> 00:49:35,306 Bambi Cummings is real. 1145 00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:37,108 She's real enough to touch. 1146 00:49:37,175 --> 00:49:38,509 She's real enough to squeeze. 1147 00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:40,745 And she's real enough to put her shit on the line for us. 1148 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,413 Okay, that's real. 1149 00:49:51,289 --> 00:49:52,223 Good night, Carl, I love you. 1150 00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:53,724 I love you too, shh.... 1151 00:49:53,791 --> 00:49:54,659 You made me say it. 1152 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,528 (crickets chirp) 1153 00:49:58,596 --> 00:50:00,465 (birds sing) 1154 00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:04,669 (girls giggle) (happy music) 1155 00:50:10,408 --> 00:50:12,210 Oh, aren't we in a good mood today? 1156 00:50:12,277 --> 00:50:14,712 I know, I just feel so... 1157 00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:16,114 I don't know, you know? 1158 00:50:16,181 --> 00:50:17,048 Is it 1159 00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:18,749 Carl? 1160 00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:20,518 You know about Carl? 1161 00:50:20,585 --> 00:50:23,288 Of course, sweetie, Daphne told me. 1162 00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:25,390 Doesn't he sound like a cutie. 1163 00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:27,125 Oh, he is. 1164 00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:29,627 It's just, I've never felt like this before. 1165 00:50:29,694 --> 00:50:31,562 I think I'm in 1166 00:50:31,629 --> 00:50:32,497 love. 1167 00:50:33,431 --> 00:50:34,399 Love? 1168 00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:35,200 Wow. 1169 00:50:35,266 --> 00:50:36,501 What does that feel like? 1170 00:50:36,567 --> 00:50:37,835 Oh, well, um, 1171 00:50:37,902 --> 00:50:41,206 at first, I can't get him out of my mind, you know? 1172 00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,641 And then I get this pit in my stomach, 1173 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:46,544 and my heart is pumping really hard. 1174 00:50:46,611 --> 00:50:48,413 And it's hard for me to breathe, 1175 00:50:48,479 --> 00:50:52,750 and I get this headache, and it's just so awesome, you know? 1176 00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:54,219 (sighs) 1177 00:50:54,285 --> 00:50:55,620 Wow! 1178 00:50:55,686 --> 00:51:00,258 That's exactly how I felt after my first double penetration! 1179 00:51:00,325 --> 00:51:01,392 You know what they say? 1180 00:51:01,459 --> 00:51:02,660 You never forget your first. 1181 00:51:02,727 --> 00:51:04,629 I know! (laughs) 1182 00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:05,696 Oh, Bambi! 1183 00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,577 (porn music) 1184 00:51:30,655 --> 00:51:31,922 It's not here. 1185 00:51:31,989 --> 00:51:33,291 What's not? 1186 00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:34,892 What you're lookin' for, Carl. 1187 00:51:34,959 --> 00:51:36,161 Hey, DJ. 1188 00:51:36,227 --> 00:51:39,830 Can you, just, please tell me where the portal is 1189 00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:41,466 so that I can 1190 00:51:41,532 --> 00:51:42,600 get out of here. 1191 00:51:42,667 --> 00:51:45,203 How about if I give you a hint, Carl, okay? 1192 00:51:45,270 --> 00:51:46,571 Yeah, please. 1193 00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:47,905 Give me a hint. 1194 00:51:47,972 --> 00:51:50,875 Your way home is not through something you can touch. 1195 00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,810 But, rather, something 1196 00:51:54,345 --> 00:51:55,880 you can feel. 1197 00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:56,881 Okay? 1198 00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:58,249 Okay. 1199 00:51:58,316 --> 00:52:00,785 DJ, um, so, if you're not gonna show me how to get home. 1200 00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:01,852 Maybe you can give me some 1201 00:52:01,919 --> 00:52:03,588 actually useful information, you know? 1202 00:52:03,654 --> 00:52:04,789 Like, uh, Rod? 1203 00:52:06,391 --> 00:52:08,859 Why, why is he chasing us all over town. 1204 00:52:08,926 --> 00:52:11,462 Because that's his job. 1205 00:52:11,529 --> 00:52:12,530 Rod's a cop. 1206 00:52:13,931 --> 00:52:17,535 It's what cops do, they chase people around. 1207 00:52:17,602 --> 00:52:19,337 That's what it is, it's like, Bambi. 1208 00:52:19,404 --> 00:52:21,872 Bambi, Bambi's gonna be the hottest damn 1209 00:52:21,939 --> 00:52:23,874 sorority cheerleader there ever was. 1210 00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:25,476 Sexy. 1211 00:52:25,543 --> 00:52:28,213 I so wanna kick your ass right now. 1212 00:52:28,279 --> 00:52:30,315 I mean, I don't know if I could, but you're not helping me. 1213 00:52:30,381 --> 00:52:31,582 DIAMOND JIM: You wanna throw? 1214 00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:33,418 And I don't know if I have to beat it out of you. 1215 00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:34,885 You want me to go cobra on you? 1216 00:52:34,952 --> 00:52:35,553 If you must. 1217 00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:36,254 I'll take you down. 1218 00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:38,256 Show me some feelin'! 1219 00:52:38,323 --> 00:52:39,324 That's your adventure! 1220 00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:40,191 I'll choose my own adventure, alright? 1221 00:52:40,258 --> 00:52:41,158 Feel it, that's all I'm sayin'! 1222 00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:42,159 CARL: Stop. DIAMOND JIM: Bam! 1223 00:52:42,227 --> 00:52:43,928 CARL: Don't! DIAMOND JIM: That hurt. 1224 00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:44,795 Look out, land shark. 1225 00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:45,730 A what? 1226 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:50,868 What a dick. 1227 00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:55,506 (girls chatting) 1228 00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:10,655 I am so excited about tryouts. 1229 00:53:10,721 --> 00:53:12,857 I'd do anything To make the squad. 1230 00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:13,991 Me too. 1231 00:53:14,058 --> 00:53:17,328 There's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do. 1232 00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:19,997 I just heard that they're short one judge, 1233 00:53:20,064 --> 00:53:21,799 and they might cancel tryouts. 1234 00:53:21,866 --> 00:53:25,370 GIRLS: (gasps) No! 1235 00:53:25,436 --> 00:53:26,771 DAPHNE: Mmm. 1236 00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:27,905 Now listen, sister. 1237 00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:29,674 You wanna play ball, or what? 1238 00:53:29,740 --> 00:53:32,610 Yeah! (squeals) 1239 00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:35,513 Hold on, cupcake. 1240 00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:39,850 You want the alligator, 1241 00:53:39,917 --> 00:53:42,287 you're gonna have to spill the beans. 1242 00:53:42,353 --> 00:53:43,921 No, I promised Bambi I wouldn't tell. 1243 00:53:43,988 --> 00:53:44,789 Okay. 1244 00:53:44,855 --> 00:53:45,523 Oh! 1245 00:53:45,590 --> 00:53:47,758 No, no, no, okay, jeez. 1246 00:53:47,825 --> 00:53:51,296 Okay, um, on campus, girls' locker room. 1247 00:53:51,996 --> 00:53:53,864 Hey, hey, hey! 1248 00:53:53,931 --> 00:53:55,866 Cool your jets, chippy. 1249 00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:00,471 I got the jump. 1250 00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:01,472 VOICEOVER: Go ahead, Rod. 1251 00:54:01,539 --> 00:54:03,474 Valley Campus, girl's locker room. 1252 00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,075 VOICEOVER: Copy that. ROD: Over. 1253 00:54:05,142 --> 00:54:06,511 Alright, let's chew. 1254 00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:08,779 (laughing) 1255 00:54:13,618 --> 00:54:16,321 Well, if he doesn't show up, we're gonna have to cancel. 1256 00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:17,422 GIRLS: Oh! 1257 00:54:21,058 --> 00:54:24,028 (heavy breathing) 1258 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,431 Hey, sorry I'm late. 1259 00:54:26,497 --> 00:54:27,498 Car trouble. 1260 00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:29,467 Let's get it on! 1261 00:54:29,534 --> 00:54:30,868 (cheering) 1262 00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:32,370 ("Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" by Billy Goodrum) 1263 00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:35,940 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1264 00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:38,943 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1265 00:54:39,810 --> 00:54:43,548 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1266 00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,083 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1267 00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:48,953 * She's a beauty 1268 00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:53,491 * She's a queen 1269 00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:57,695 * Don't wake me up now 1270 00:54:57,762 --> 00:55:00,965 * This must be a dream 1271 00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:05,336 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1272 00:55:06,003 --> 00:55:09,740 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1273 00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:12,710 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1274 00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:15,446 * Break it down 1275 00:55:15,513 --> 00:55:18,516 * Break it down now 1276 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,856 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1277 00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,665 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1278 00:55:34,732 --> 00:55:35,966 By the power vested in me 1279 00:55:36,033 --> 00:55:40,538 as the coolest and best looking judge in the Valley, 1280 00:55:40,605 --> 00:55:44,008 I hereby announce this year's cheer captain 1281 00:55:44,074 --> 00:55:48,413 as Bambi Cummings! (cheering) 1282 00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:49,780 Thanks, Lester. 1283 00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,128 (gasps) There he is! 1284 00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,796 Oh, shit. 1285 00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,632 Come on, you idiot. 1286 00:56:14,639 --> 00:56:16,574 Open it, open it, open it, open it. 1287 00:56:16,641 --> 00:56:18,543 The big guys, they're comin', open it! 1288 00:56:18,609 --> 00:56:19,477 Uh... 1289 00:56:20,545 --> 00:56:21,646 Uh-oh, key broke. 1290 00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:22,580 Oh, God! 1291 00:56:29,186 --> 00:56:30,087 Oh, word. 1292 00:56:31,288 --> 00:56:33,824 (giggling) 1293 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:34,759 Come on. 1294 00:56:40,665 --> 00:56:43,801 (giggling) Boobies. 1295 00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:52,176 I thought you were learnin' how to fix this. 1296 00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,745 Sorry, Carl, I have a plan. 1297 00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:03,688 His name is Busta. 1298 00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:05,422 Busta Nut. 1299 00:57:06,891 --> 00:57:08,626 Wanna be rapper turned porn star. 1300 00:57:08,693 --> 00:57:12,563 Directed a few low budget videos for some no-name MCs. 1301 00:57:12,630 --> 00:57:14,765 Hooked up with Diamond Jim and viola. 1302 00:57:14,832 --> 00:57:16,834 A franchise was born. 1303 00:57:16,901 --> 00:57:18,503 Okay, how does that help us get home? 1304 00:57:18,569 --> 00:57:19,637 Dude's got a whole collection of 1305 00:57:19,704 --> 00:57:21,205 old school video style games 1306 00:57:21,271 --> 00:57:24,509 in the basement downstairs, Carl. 1307 00:57:24,575 --> 00:57:25,976 Booth style games. 1308 00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:27,878 You feel me? 1309 00:57:28,946 --> 00:57:31,549 Yes, okay, good, good, good. 1310 00:57:33,117 --> 00:57:33,984 Really? 1311 00:57:35,853 --> 00:57:37,221 Follow my lead. 1312 00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:43,193 (dance music) 1313 00:57:44,595 --> 00:57:47,798 (party people chatter) 1314 00:57:51,602 --> 00:57:52,737 Back the fuck up, bitch. 1315 00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:53,671 What? 1316 00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:55,806 Summa Eve. 1317 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:56,741 Hey. 1318 00:57:57,842 --> 00:57:58,843 You know me. 1319 00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:02,246 It's me, look at my. 1320 00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,614 Rumpa? 1321 00:58:03,681 --> 00:58:04,281 Huh? 1322 00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,816 Rumpa. 1323 00:58:05,883 --> 00:58:06,917 Rumpa Thumpa. 1324 00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:08,953 Rumper Thumper. 1325 00:58:09,019 --> 00:58:10,555 Check this out. 1326 00:58:11,956 --> 00:58:13,691 With the pop and the bang bang, 1327 00:58:13,758 --> 00:58:15,826 click back and the thumb up to the 1328 00:58:15,893 --> 00:58:16,994 you know what. 1329 00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:17,928 Mm, girl. 1330 00:58:18,863 --> 00:58:20,631 Yeah, freak it. 1331 00:58:20,698 --> 00:58:21,699 There, and would you like a little bit a 1332 00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:25,002 (makes chicken sounds) 1333 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:26,904 Alright, Rump Thump, my brother. 1334 00:58:26,971 --> 00:58:29,974 That's right, and this is my boy, PB&J. 1335 00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,810 We call him Hot Carl, he likes when girls poop on him. 1336 00:58:32,877 --> 00:58:33,744 Tell her. 1337 00:58:35,412 --> 00:58:37,882 I like it when girls poop on me. 1338 00:58:37,948 --> 00:58:38,716 Very sick fuck. 1339 00:58:38,783 --> 00:58:39,550 But we fit in here, so, girl, 1340 00:58:39,617 --> 00:58:42,119 we just listen to the music, 1341 00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:43,588 saw the girls, thought we'd come down 1342 00:58:43,654 --> 00:58:44,955 and see what's crackalackin. 1343 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,657 Do I get a plus one? 1344 00:58:46,724 --> 00:58:47,792 Come on in. 1345 00:58:49,894 --> 00:58:51,361 Thanks, girl. 1346 00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:53,097 I love your work. 1347 00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:58,102 (hip hop dance music) 1348 00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:09,814 Hi. 1349 00:59:11,682 --> 00:59:12,883 Oh. 1350 00:59:12,950 --> 00:59:14,619 I'm stimulated. 1351 00:59:14,685 --> 00:59:16,220 And discombobulated. 1352 00:59:17,354 --> 00:59:19,757 I'ma get all y'all pregnant tonight. 1353 00:59:19,824 --> 00:59:22,627 I will leave it in! (laughs) 1354 00:59:22,693 --> 00:59:24,695 And you know you love that, huh? 1355 00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:25,763 That's him right there. 1356 00:59:25,830 --> 00:59:26,496 That's him, look at the pimp, see him? 1357 00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:29,266 That's Busta. Busta Nut. 1358 00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:30,901 I love you 'cause you never judge me 1359 00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,170 on the fact that I was uncircumcised. 1360 00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:35,372 I love that about you. 1361 00:59:35,439 --> 00:59:37,307 You know my dick got a legwarmer on it, 1362 00:59:37,374 --> 00:59:38,876 you still love daddy. 1363 00:59:38,943 --> 00:59:41,078 (laughter) 1364 00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:43,047 He's a mad player to the motherfuckin' mack. 1365 00:59:43,113 --> 00:59:44,882 Okay, can you just stop with that? 1366 00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,050 Stop. 1367 00:59:46,116 --> 00:59:47,384 And where's the thing? 1368 00:59:47,451 --> 00:59:49,186 Oh, word, sorry, uh, yeah. 1369 00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:51,021 The time machine portal thing-ma-bop. 1370 00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:52,056 Probably gonna find that 1371 00:59:52,122 --> 00:59:54,058 over there in VIP down the stairs. 1372 00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:56,894 BOTH: Oh you. (laughs) 1373 00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:59,096 Oh my God, is that Carl? 1374 01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:03,133 And why'd he going over there? 1375 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,804 Oh, maybe that's where his spaceship is. 1376 01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:10,207 Bam? 1377 01:00:13,744 --> 01:00:14,344 Hey, sugar. 1378 01:00:14,411 --> 01:00:15,279 Hi. 1379 01:00:16,246 --> 01:00:17,381 Wanna party? 1380 01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,684 Uh, yeah, okay, we'll party. 1381 01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:22,286 Um, I have to, I need my friend. 1382 01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:37,101 Okay, you both look great. 1383 01:00:38,502 --> 01:00:39,937 Bye. 1384 01:00:40,004 --> 01:00:41,005 Excuse me. 1385 01:00:43,874 --> 01:00:44,742 Bam Bam. 1386 01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:46,977 What's wrong? 1387 01:00:48,112 --> 01:00:49,947 What are these? 1388 01:00:50,014 --> 01:00:52,249 We're out of here. 1389 01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:54,651 (laughter) 1390 01:00:58,455 --> 01:01:00,891 SERVER: Here's your drink. 1391 01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:01,826 May I? 1392 01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:06,130 You want some? 1393 01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,464 Yeah! 1394 01:01:07,531 --> 01:01:08,465 Oh, it's warm! 1395 01:01:08,532 --> 01:01:09,399 Yeah! 1396 01:01:20,477 --> 01:01:21,245 That's it, man, I said, 1397 01:01:21,311 --> 01:01:22,546 what motherfucker, you crazy. 1398 01:01:22,612 --> 01:01:25,449 I stuck my plow cup right up in his porsche for sure. 1399 01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:28,152 Know what I'm sayin'? (laughter) 1400 01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:31,889 Ain't no motherfuckers spit it like my brother Rumpa. 1401 01:01:31,956 --> 01:01:32,757 Smoke? 1402 01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:33,557 Yeah! 1403 01:01:33,623 --> 01:01:35,059 That came out her ass too. 1404 01:01:35,125 --> 01:01:36,193 LESTER: Did it? BUSTA: Yup. 1405 01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,262 [Busta and Lester] Ah! 1406 01:01:40,597 --> 01:01:41,932 I'm smokin' crack! 1407 01:01:41,999 --> 01:01:43,433 (laughter) 1408 01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:44,701 Literally! 1409 01:01:48,505 --> 01:01:49,974 I, I'm... 1410 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:51,541 I know one of them. 1411 01:01:51,608 --> 01:01:52,943 Hey! 1412 01:01:53,010 --> 01:01:53,944 Yo, my boy. 1413 01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:56,914 Bitches, suck this motherfucker's dick. 1414 01:01:56,981 --> 01:01:58,382 Do it! 1415 01:01:58,448 --> 01:02:02,219 Yo, dawg! (sighs) 1416 01:02:02,286 --> 01:02:03,387 BUSTA: Give him some car wash. 1417 01:02:03,453 --> 01:02:07,792 Yo, lizook over here, my... (record scratches) 1418 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,962 Uh, it's cool, man. 1419 01:02:13,630 --> 01:02:16,033 He's a motherfuckin' turd in a punch bowl. 1420 01:02:16,100 --> 01:02:17,501 Little cracka ass. 1421 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,103 But, he's my boy. 1422 01:02:22,106 --> 01:02:23,140 I'll just be right back, okay? 1423 01:02:23,207 --> 01:02:24,341 Save my spot. 1424 01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:25,409 Tap tap. 1425 01:02:25,475 --> 01:02:28,412 You better go get that motherfucker. 1426 01:02:30,380 --> 01:02:32,082 LESTER: Holy shit. 1427 01:02:32,149 --> 01:02:34,384 Well, here it is. 1428 01:02:34,451 --> 01:02:35,920 Alright, well. 1429 01:02:37,321 --> 01:02:39,056 Go ahead and get in. 1430 01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:41,992 You're not coming. 1431 01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:46,864 I love you, but, I struck the lottery here, bro. 1432 01:02:46,931 --> 01:02:48,065 I belong here. 1433 01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:56,907 If this thing works, 1434 01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:58,408 you can ride it back anytime you want. 1435 01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:02,412 And, who knows, maybe even sometimes I'll come for holidays. 1436 01:03:02,479 --> 01:03:03,547 Like Kwanzaa. 1437 01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:07,351 Alright. 1438 01:03:07,417 --> 01:03:08,285 Well. 1439 01:03:09,186 --> 01:03:10,154 Bye. 1440 01:03:10,220 --> 01:03:11,088 Bye. 1441 01:03:15,559 --> 01:03:17,261 There we go, holy shit, it works. 1442 01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:19,529 (booth whirs) 1443 01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:20,464 Alright. 1444 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,033 (booth beeps and whirs) 1445 01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:24,969 What the fuck is this? 1446 01:03:27,604 --> 01:03:28,906 It looks like some kind of video game 1447 01:03:28,973 --> 01:03:31,909 where you have to use the cock to shoot all the titties. 1448 01:03:31,976 --> 01:03:33,277 Welp. 1449 01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:35,279 Looks like you're screwed. 1450 01:03:35,345 --> 01:03:36,947 Should we go back upstairs? 1451 01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:38,548 You said this was gonna work. 1452 01:03:38,615 --> 01:03:39,884 Make it work. 1453 01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:44,221 (laughs) 1454 01:03:44,288 --> 01:03:45,890 Sorry, you died. 1455 01:03:47,624 --> 01:03:50,127 (chair clangs) 1456 01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:57,301 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1457 01:03:57,367 --> 01:04:00,004 (chair clangs) 1458 01:04:01,538 --> 01:04:04,474 (stomps thud) 1459 01:04:04,541 --> 01:04:05,910 Yeah, yeah, another. 1460 01:04:05,976 --> 01:04:06,576 One more. 1461 01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:07,511 Let's go! 1462 01:04:19,123 --> 01:04:22,026 LANCE: Freeze! (records scratches) 1463 01:04:22,092 --> 01:04:24,428 (guns clack) 1464 01:04:29,333 --> 01:04:32,402 What kinda bitch ass motherfuckers you think we are? 1465 01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,538 You think those is motherfuckin' guns? 1466 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:37,574 This here is a motherfucking gun. 1467 01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:40,244 (laughs) 1468 01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:41,311 Ain't that right, my man? 1469 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:44,081 What the? (teeth clatter on the floor) 1470 01:04:44,148 --> 01:04:47,051 You ain't no motherfuckin' Rumpa. 1471 01:04:47,117 --> 01:04:47,717 I... 1472 01:04:47,784 --> 01:04:48,953 He was... 1473 01:04:49,019 --> 01:04:50,220 Check that out! 1474 01:04:52,289 --> 01:04:53,623 You motherfuckers. 1475 01:04:53,690 --> 01:04:55,292 And don't come around here. 1476 01:04:55,359 --> 01:04:58,062 I'll beat the Grizzly Adams shit outta you. 1477 01:04:58,128 --> 01:05:00,064 You Andy Griffith lookin' motherfucker. 1478 01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:01,898 Get to dancin' again. 1479 01:05:06,136 --> 01:05:08,372 You're on your own! 1480 01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:11,475 Don't look at me, don't look at me! 1481 01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:17,514 So, I know that didn't go so well. 1482 01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:18,983 Didn't go so well? 1483 01:05:19,049 --> 01:05:20,184 No, check it out... 1484 01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,486 Don't give me that look, I've got the cure, Carl. 1485 01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:24,254 I've got our way out of here. 1486 01:05:24,321 --> 01:05:25,189 Two words. 1487 01:05:26,323 --> 01:05:27,992 Babysitter orgy. 1488 01:05:28,058 --> 01:05:29,359 Oh my God! 1489 01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,161 There's a house down here that I recognize from earlier. 1490 01:05:31,228 --> 01:05:33,263 I knew I recognized it, but... 1491 01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:37,301 Oh my God, I'm trapped here forever with you. 1492 01:05:38,802 --> 01:05:42,639 You say that like it's a bad thing. 1493 01:05:42,706 --> 01:05:44,774 I should've never listened to you. 1494 01:05:44,841 --> 01:05:47,244 You work in a liquor store. 1495 01:05:49,146 --> 01:05:53,283 And now, you've dragged me into your porn-fueled world. 1496 01:05:56,553 --> 01:06:01,158 (laughs) You're the biggest loser I know. 1497 01:06:01,225 --> 01:06:03,527 I deserve this, really. 1498 01:06:03,593 --> 01:06:04,494 So, thanks. 1499 01:06:04,561 --> 01:06:05,362 Is that right? 1500 01:06:05,429 --> 01:06:06,163 Yeah. 1501 01:06:06,230 --> 01:06:07,697 Well, you know what, Carl? 1502 01:06:07,764 --> 01:06:09,166 Boohoo. 1503 01:06:09,233 --> 01:06:10,600 Yeah, oh, I'm Carl! 1504 01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:12,636 Oh, there's too many boobies. 1505 01:06:12,702 --> 01:06:14,538 How could you do this to me, Lester? 1506 01:06:14,604 --> 01:06:17,441 How could you bring me to the greatest place on the Earth? 1507 01:06:17,507 --> 01:06:18,308 You know what? 1508 01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:19,109 What about me? 1509 01:06:19,176 --> 01:06:20,144 I should be gettin' laid. 1510 01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:23,113 Two at a time, twice a day, but no. 1511 01:06:23,180 --> 01:06:24,614 I gotta deal with your whinin' ass all the time. 1512 01:06:24,681 --> 01:06:25,782 Aw, I'm sorry. 1513 01:06:25,849 --> 01:06:28,052 Yeah, I'm the one who gets kicked in the balls 1514 01:06:28,118 --> 01:06:29,319 over and over and over, 1515 01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:30,354 and I'm laying in my own puke, 1516 01:06:30,420 --> 01:06:33,357 and then the thing at the hospital. 1517 01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:37,161 You don't say a word, but don't tell nobody. 1518 01:06:38,428 --> 01:06:39,029 You know what? 1519 01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:40,330 To hell with you. 1520 01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:41,365 To hell with me? 1521 01:06:41,431 --> 01:06:42,666 LESTER: Yes. CARL: To hell with me. 1522 01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:43,267 LESTER: Straight to hell. CARL: To hell with you. 1523 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:45,469 Okay, no, you. 1524 01:06:45,535 --> 01:06:47,704 These are all for you. 1525 01:06:47,771 --> 01:06:49,173 Alright? 1526 01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:51,808 Go, get laid, enjoy, enjoy. 1527 01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:52,742 I will. 1528 01:06:59,183 --> 01:07:01,118 You're a baby, come on. 1529 01:07:02,786 --> 01:07:03,653 Hey. 1530 01:07:10,294 --> 01:07:11,161 Sheesh. 1531 01:07:14,231 --> 01:07:16,533 (door chimes) 1532 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:17,767 Oh. 1533 01:07:17,834 --> 01:07:19,303 Did I order a pizza? 1534 01:07:19,369 --> 01:07:21,505 Gee, maybe I got the wrong house. 1535 01:07:21,571 --> 01:07:22,672 What kind of pizza is it? 1536 01:07:22,739 --> 01:07:24,808 Extra large sausage and 1537 01:07:25,709 --> 01:07:27,344 giant meatballs. 1538 01:07:27,411 --> 01:07:28,345 Mm! 1539 01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:29,479 Sounds yummy! 1540 01:07:31,481 --> 01:07:32,349 Ooh, yeah. 1541 01:07:35,919 --> 01:07:38,655 (hip hop music) 1542 01:07:46,496 --> 01:07:49,266 I'm takin' your car, pizza boy. 1543 01:07:49,333 --> 01:07:50,367 'Cause it's my world! 1544 01:07:50,434 --> 01:07:52,836 (engine revs) 1545 01:07:54,338 --> 01:07:56,373 (tires squeal) (horn blares) 1546 01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:57,374 Watch where you're... 1547 01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:58,041 You know what? 1548 01:07:58,108 --> 01:08:00,544 Fuck you. (laughs) 1549 01:08:00,610 --> 01:08:02,746 Nothin's ruinin' my night. 1550 01:08:04,314 --> 01:08:07,751 VOICEOVER: Goodnight Mrs. Bliss. 1551 01:08:07,817 --> 01:08:09,085 Hey, Bambi. 1552 01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:10,787 It's me. 1553 01:08:16,493 --> 01:08:17,594 What's wrong? 1554 01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:19,829 How could you? 1555 01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:22,466 Uh... 1556 01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:23,600 How could I what? 1557 01:08:23,667 --> 01:08:26,903 I thought you were different. 1558 01:08:26,970 --> 01:08:28,205 What are you talkin' about? 1559 01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,174 I saw you tonight. 1560 01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:31,575 With those girls. 1561 01:08:33,377 --> 01:08:35,279 With which girls? 1562 01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:37,847 So, now you're gonna lie to me? 1563 01:08:37,914 --> 01:08:40,417 Oh, no, those, no, no, no, no, I can explain. 1564 01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:42,186 I don't wanna hear it. 1565 01:08:42,252 --> 01:08:44,188 I saw what I saw and that's that. 1566 01:08:44,254 --> 01:08:45,889 No, baby, really, it is not what you think. 1567 01:08:45,955 --> 01:08:47,657 No, Carl. 1568 01:08:47,724 --> 01:08:48,725 You hurt me. 1569 01:08:49,793 --> 01:08:52,596 And I don't ever wanna see you again. 1570 01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:55,599 And to think I ever loved you, Carl. 1571 01:09:00,670 --> 01:09:01,905 (bell chimes) 1572 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:03,740 (giggling) 1573 01:09:03,807 --> 01:09:05,409 Thank you, God. 1574 01:09:05,475 --> 01:09:06,843 (gasps) 1575 01:09:06,910 --> 01:09:07,677 Oh my God. 1576 01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:10,447 Did we, like, order a pizza? 1577 01:09:10,514 --> 01:09:11,548 You didn't? 1578 01:09:12,682 --> 01:09:13,783 Who cares? 1579 01:09:13,850 --> 01:09:16,320 I'm, like, totally starving. 1580 01:09:18,322 --> 01:09:19,656 But we don't have any money. 1581 01:09:19,723 --> 01:09:23,827 Oh my God, is there, like, any other way we could pay you? 1582 01:09:25,362 --> 01:09:28,632 I'm sure we can think of somethin'. 1583 01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:30,267 (porn music) 1584 01:09:30,334 --> 01:09:32,502 And I was just inside for a second. 1585 01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:35,239 Don't sell yourself short, studmuffin. 1586 01:09:35,305 --> 01:09:38,342 You were harder than Chinese math. 1587 01:09:38,408 --> 01:09:39,876 Thanks, sweet tits. 1588 01:09:39,943 --> 01:09:42,912 But, seriously, who steals a pizza car? 1589 01:09:42,979 --> 01:09:45,249 I'm kickin' a hunch. 1590 01:09:45,315 --> 01:09:48,452 Now go pin your diapers on and dangle. 1591 01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:51,788 Breaker, breaker. 1592 01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:52,589 VOICEOVER: Ooh, I'm here, Rod. 1593 01:09:52,656 --> 01:09:54,824 Dust out the chopper squad. 1594 01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:56,526 I got the buzz on the hot peep. 1595 01:09:56,593 --> 01:09:58,628 VOICEOVER: Ooh, Roger. 1596 01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:00,997 It's called 1597 01:10:01,064 --> 01:10:02,799 the nervous game. 1598 01:10:02,866 --> 01:10:05,001 Oh my God, I'm, like, so scared. 1599 01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:06,836 Stop. (giggles) 1600 01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,338 Seriously. 1601 01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:09,639 So, what you do 1602 01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:12,576 is you put one hand on each other. 1603 01:10:13,577 --> 01:10:14,444 Not yet. 1604 01:10:15,445 --> 01:10:17,714 Starting with each other's heads. 1605 01:10:17,781 --> 01:10:21,385 Then you move slowly down, pausing to ask, 1606 01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:24,421 "Are you nervous?" 1607 01:10:24,488 --> 01:10:25,755 And if the answer's no, 1608 01:10:25,822 --> 01:10:28,024 then you keep moving. 1609 01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:29,593 And the game doesn't stop 1610 01:10:29,659 --> 01:10:32,896 until someone says, "That makes me nervous." 1611 01:10:32,962 --> 01:10:35,432 But, what if nothing makes me nervous? 1612 01:10:35,499 --> 01:10:36,966 Then you keep going and going 1613 01:10:37,033 --> 01:10:39,703 and going and going. (laughs) CARL: Going and going. 1614 01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:41,505 Okay, let's start. 1615 01:10:56,653 --> 01:10:57,787 Are you nervous? 1616 01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:59,923 No, are you nervous? 1617 01:10:59,989 --> 01:11:00,857 No. 1618 01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:07,664 Are you nervous? 1619 01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:08,598 No. 1620 01:11:12,001 --> 01:11:13,470 Are you nervous? 1621 01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:17,507 No. 1622 01:11:21,478 --> 01:11:22,078 Are you nervous? 1623 01:11:22,145 --> 01:11:24,881 (door slams open) 1624 01:11:24,948 --> 01:11:26,483 Did you guys hear somethin'? 1625 01:11:26,550 --> 01:11:29,653 (angry music) 1626 01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:30,654 Now you're makin' me nervous. 1627 01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:34,991 (baton cracks) (cries out in pain) 1628 01:11:36,460 --> 01:11:38,061 Where is your boyfriend? 1629 01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:40,029 (scoffs) He's not my boyfriend. 1630 01:11:40,096 --> 01:11:40,897 (door chimes) 1631 01:11:40,964 --> 01:11:41,765 Hello. 1632 01:11:41,831 --> 01:11:43,299 Anybody at home? 1633 01:11:45,201 --> 01:11:49,072 I am the pool boy, and I have come to clean your pool. 1634 01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:51,341 Oh, and it's so dirty. 1635 01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:01,751 (gasps) 1636 01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:02,619 (gasps) 1637 01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:04,754 (growls) 1638 01:12:08,892 --> 01:12:10,960 (growls) 1639 01:12:13,129 --> 01:12:14,864 Wait, we don't even have a pool. 1640 01:12:14,931 --> 01:12:17,000 (laughs) 1641 01:12:19,536 --> 01:12:22,071 (wistful music) 1642 01:13:00,644 --> 01:13:03,112 (tires squeal) 1643 01:13:05,281 --> 01:13:07,484 Fuck this place, Carl. 1644 01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:23,833 (dance music) 1645 01:13:28,004 --> 01:13:29,706 Oh, come on, Bammers. 1646 01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:32,241 DJ's parties always cheer you up. 1647 01:13:32,308 --> 01:13:34,043 Put on a happy face. 1648 01:13:36,646 --> 01:13:37,914 Oh. 1649 01:13:37,981 --> 01:13:40,750 You did the right thing by gettin' rid of that Carl. 1650 01:13:40,817 --> 01:13:42,986 Oh, I don't know, I think I made a horrible mistake. 1651 01:13:43,052 --> 01:13:45,822 And I miss him so much it hurts. 1652 01:13:45,889 --> 01:13:47,657 I wonder what he's doing right now. 1653 01:13:47,724 --> 01:13:50,560 (engine rumbles) 1654 01:13:52,061 --> 01:13:54,631 Oh God, so that's it, huh? 1655 01:13:54,698 --> 01:13:55,565 Yup. 1656 01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,569 Well, what's the plan? 1657 01:14:03,139 --> 01:14:05,742 (dance music) 1658 01:14:10,747 --> 01:14:11,881 (laughs) 1659 01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:15,985 Bambi, Daphne, come over here, you sweet things. 1660 01:14:16,052 --> 01:14:19,188 Uh-oh, why the long puss, sweet cheeks? 1661 01:14:19,255 --> 01:14:20,223 She'll be fine. 1662 01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:22,626 She just needs to relax. 1663 01:14:22,692 --> 01:14:24,761 Well, you came to the right place. 1664 01:14:24,828 --> 01:14:26,563 Excuse me, sweetie. 1665 01:14:26,630 --> 01:14:27,597 Come on, now. 1666 01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:30,734 Sit down, tell DJ what's goin' on. 1667 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:34,203 Well, there's this boy that I met. 1668 01:14:34,270 --> 01:14:38,107 And I treated him bad, and now I feel bad. 1669 01:14:38,174 --> 01:14:39,643 That's so sad. 1670 01:14:59,863 --> 01:15:01,598 CARL: Fuck! 1671 01:15:01,665 --> 01:15:04,067 (chase music) 1672 01:15:14,678 --> 01:15:15,679 Um, sorry. 1673 01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:47,811 (heads smack together) 1674 01:15:49,012 --> 01:15:49,879 Oh God. 1675 01:15:50,980 --> 01:15:53,617 LESTER: Oh great, excellent, what's this? 1676 01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:54,618 Oh, this one too. 1677 01:15:54,684 --> 01:15:55,619 Oh, that's nice. 1678 01:15:55,685 --> 01:15:57,887 Okay, give it up, ginks. 1679 01:15:57,954 --> 01:15:59,122 Or else you're both 1680 01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:00,189 gonna get 1681 01:16:00,256 --> 01:16:02,158 the Broderick. 1682 01:16:02,225 --> 01:16:02,959 What's that? 1683 01:16:03,026 --> 01:16:05,228 I don't know what that is. 1684 01:16:06,763 --> 01:16:08,698 Titty twister! 1685 01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:09,833 Do it, try it. 1686 01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:12,401 (moans) Sleep, sleep! 1687 01:16:12,468 --> 01:16:14,003 It's not working. 1688 01:16:15,839 --> 01:16:16,840 Oh yeah! 1689 01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,575 (punches thud) 1690 01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:22,045 C'mon, c'mon. 1691 01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:22,912 Okay. 1692 01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:24,047 (punch thuds) 1693 01:16:24,113 --> 01:16:25,114 (gasps for air) 1694 01:16:25,181 --> 01:16:27,851 (punches thud) 1695 01:16:30,854 --> 01:16:32,822 Ha, get off me, bitch. 1696 01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:34,023 Nope. 1697 01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:34,924 Okay. 1698 01:16:34,991 --> 01:16:35,959 Now he sleeps. 1699 01:16:36,025 --> 01:16:37,126 Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. 1700 01:16:37,193 --> 01:16:39,195 Not today, Rod Jammin. 1701 01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:44,333 (laughs) 1702 01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:45,735 Get him, Carl! 1703 01:16:51,274 --> 01:16:54,077 (water splashes) 1704 01:16:55,144 --> 01:16:55,812 Oh! 1705 01:16:59,282 --> 01:17:01,851 What the hell is goin' on? 1706 01:17:01,918 --> 01:17:04,287 I am about to red light these hopheads 1707 01:17:04,353 --> 01:17:06,022 back to the hoosegow! 1708 01:17:06,089 --> 01:17:07,857 Well, just stuff it, Rod. 1709 01:17:07,924 --> 01:17:10,293 DJ, we just want to go home. 1710 01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:12,796 Yeah, I mean, we can't figure out why we're here. 1711 01:17:12,862 --> 01:17:16,933 And, by the way, none of us learned a damn thing. 1712 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:19,135 Is that right? 1713 01:17:19,202 --> 01:17:21,738 So, you guys just wanna give up the journey? 1714 01:17:21,805 --> 01:17:23,206 Is that right? 1715 01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:24,741 Exactly, yeah. 1716 01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,913 Well, if that's what you really want. 1717 01:17:29,979 --> 01:17:31,180 That's exactly... 1718 01:17:31,247 --> 01:17:32,882 Well, yes, positive. 1719 01:17:32,949 --> 01:17:35,184 Okay, then just do as I say. 1720 01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:36,585 Cup your balls, 1721 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:39,923 give 'em a squeeze, and say, "There's no place like home. 1722 01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:42,325 "There's no place like home." 1723 01:17:43,226 --> 01:17:45,294 (laughs) 1724 01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:50,900 LESTER AND CARL: There's no place like home. 1725 01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:52,736 LESTER AND CARL: There's no place like home. 1726 01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:53,870 LESTER AND CARL: There's no place like home. 1727 01:17:53,937 --> 01:17:57,006 (laughs) Just fuckin' with ya! 1728 01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:57,974 You're a dick! 1729 01:17:58,041 --> 01:17:59,743 I hate this guy so much. 1730 01:17:59,809 --> 01:18:03,780 (laughs) The booth's right up there. 1731 01:18:03,847 --> 01:18:06,315 Just step inside and off ya go. 1732 01:18:07,450 --> 01:18:09,886 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone. 1733 01:18:09,953 --> 01:18:11,154 Hold the phone. 1734 01:18:12,488 --> 01:18:14,791 You just gonna kick these trouble boys the skip out? 1735 01:18:14,858 --> 01:18:16,860 Will you shut up, Rod? 1736 01:18:18,161 --> 01:18:20,196 Seriously, what crime did these boys ever commit, anyway? 1737 01:18:20,263 --> 01:18:22,766 Well, I mean, I'm not sure, specifically. 1738 01:18:22,832 --> 01:18:25,401 I mean, I'll check the statutes and everything, 1739 01:18:25,468 --> 01:18:27,336 when I get a chance. 1740 01:18:27,403 --> 01:18:28,872 Yeah, why don't you do that? 1741 01:18:28,938 --> 01:18:30,306 Rod, why don't you check the statutes. 1742 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:32,308 You are the sorriest cop on the force. 1743 01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:33,242 And, Rod? 1744 01:18:34,310 --> 01:18:36,079 You're fired. (gasps) 1745 01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,146 Excuse me? 1746 01:18:39,015 --> 01:18:41,084 (laughs) 1747 01:18:42,986 --> 01:18:45,989 Oh, what are you guys waitin' for? 1748 01:18:51,427 --> 01:18:52,295 C'mon. 1749 01:18:59,635 --> 01:19:01,838 Carl, come on, let's go. 1750 01:19:10,146 --> 01:19:12,916 (romantic music) 1751 01:19:15,418 --> 01:19:19,122 I guess you learned somethin' important here afterall. 1752 01:19:19,188 --> 01:19:21,357 Well, I did, DJ. 1753 01:19:21,424 --> 01:19:24,493 I learned what true love really is. 1754 01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:25,761 Oh, Jesus. 1755 01:19:26,629 --> 01:19:28,031 (giggles) 1756 01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:29,398 I love you, Carl. 1757 01:19:29,465 --> 01:19:31,167 I love you, baby. 1758 01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:33,837 (gasps) 1759 01:19:33,903 --> 01:19:34,971 What happened? 1760 01:19:35,038 --> 01:19:38,541 What did you do to my friend, Diamond Jim? 1761 01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:41,477 (ceiling crashes) 1762 01:19:42,678 --> 01:19:45,114 (groans) 1763 01:19:45,181 --> 01:19:46,049 Bambi? 1764 01:19:50,553 --> 01:19:51,420 Bambi? 1765 01:19:53,189 --> 01:19:55,391 So, then, I remember, it hits me, wang. 1766 01:19:55,458 --> 01:19:56,893 The one rule 1767 01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:58,427 in this land. 1768 01:19:58,494 --> 01:20:00,363 You can't fall in love. 1769 01:20:00,429 --> 01:20:02,999 DJ, that's so unfair, I love him. 1770 01:20:03,066 --> 01:20:04,567 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1771 01:20:06,069 --> 01:20:09,873 In this land, you can't have that feeling, okay? 1772 01:20:09,939 --> 01:20:10,806 I'm sorry. 1773 01:20:12,108 --> 01:20:14,210 Yeah, that's tough, sweetie. 1774 01:20:14,277 --> 01:20:15,644 Tough break. 1775 01:20:15,711 --> 01:20:17,246 Hey, listen, it's been really great gettin' to know you all. 1776 01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:19,015 Hey, uh, Lester? 1777 01:20:19,082 --> 01:20:22,285 Are you sure that you really, really wanna go? 1778 01:20:22,351 --> 01:20:25,288 Yeah, bro, I think I learned my lesson. 1779 01:20:25,354 --> 01:20:26,489 What was that? 1780 01:20:26,555 --> 01:20:29,893 This place is not what I expected it to be, okay? 1781 01:20:29,959 --> 01:20:32,128 My nuts can't take anymore. 1782 01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:35,899 And I don't mean in a good way. 1783 01:20:35,965 --> 01:20:36,900 Well, there's one more thing 1784 01:20:36,966 --> 01:20:38,634 that you should know before you go. 1785 01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:41,170 Oh yeah, Diamond Jim, what's that? 1786 01:20:41,237 --> 01:20:42,105 Lester. 1787 01:20:44,273 --> 01:20:45,541 I'm your father. 1788 01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:48,211 What? 1789 01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:52,916 That's my son! 1790 01:20:52,982 --> 01:20:54,517 Prince of the Valley! 1791 01:20:56,719 --> 01:20:59,388 And then we will get married. 1792 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,193 Carl! (tense music) 1793 01:21:04,260 --> 01:21:05,494 Where the hell have you been? 1794 01:21:05,561 --> 01:21:08,197 It's been two days, and you know what that means? 1795 01:21:08,264 --> 01:21:09,432 That means it's Sunday. 1796 01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:12,201 And, do you know what Sunday is? 1797 01:21:12,268 --> 01:21:16,405 Sunday is food tasting day at the club with my parents. 1798 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,542 What the fuck happened to your ceiling? 1799 01:21:19,608 --> 01:21:20,609 Uh... 1800 01:21:20,676 --> 01:21:22,178 You know what, no, no, no. 1801 01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:24,013 I don't wanna know, because right now 1802 01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,348 we're gonna go to the club, 1803 01:21:25,414 --> 01:21:26,449 we're gonna meet my parents, 1804 01:21:26,515 --> 01:21:29,618 and we're gonna have a nice time, okay? 1805 01:21:29,685 --> 01:21:32,421 And tomorrow you will explain everything. 1806 01:21:32,488 --> 01:21:33,089 Okay. 1807 01:21:33,156 --> 01:21:34,423 So, go get changed. 1808 01:21:34,490 --> 01:21:35,358 Chop chop. 1809 01:21:41,530 --> 01:21:42,398 No. 1810 01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:46,535 What did you say? 1811 01:21:50,139 --> 01:21:51,640 I said no. 1812 01:21:51,707 --> 01:21:53,009 No? 1813 01:21:53,076 --> 01:21:53,709 Oh. 1814 01:21:53,776 --> 01:21:55,178 No to what. 1815 01:21:55,244 --> 01:21:56,912 No to everything. 1816 01:21:58,581 --> 01:22:01,150 No to picking up your parents. 1817 01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:05,254 And no to going to the food tasting at the club. 1818 01:22:05,321 --> 01:22:09,225 And also no to ever explaining anything to you. 1819 01:22:10,459 --> 01:22:11,394 You know what? 1820 01:22:11,460 --> 01:22:12,628 You are gonna regret this, mister? 1821 01:22:12,695 --> 01:22:14,263 Oh, really? 1822 01:22:14,330 --> 01:22:16,132 Are you sure, are you sure I am? 1823 01:22:16,199 --> 01:22:17,466 Do I look like I'm gonna regret it? 1824 01:22:17,533 --> 01:22:18,434 Are you sure? TRACY: Yes! 1825 01:22:18,501 --> 01:22:19,468 Well, look closer! 1826 01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:22,605 Get the hell out of here, go, get. 1827 01:22:22,671 --> 01:22:25,208 (door slams) 1828 01:22:31,214 --> 01:22:33,282 DJ, isn't there anything you can do? 1829 01:22:33,349 --> 01:22:35,418 I mean, I know the rule, but can't you make an exception 1830 01:22:35,484 --> 01:22:36,585 just this once? 1831 01:22:36,652 --> 01:22:37,686 Bambi. 1832 01:22:37,753 --> 01:22:39,055 You know, you've always been my favorite. 1833 01:22:39,122 --> 01:22:41,490 And I would do anything in the world to make you happy. 1834 01:22:41,557 --> 01:22:43,792 Then please help me, please. 1835 01:22:43,859 --> 01:22:45,194 Come on, DJ. 1836 01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:48,131 Do our girl right. 1837 01:22:49,732 --> 01:22:51,467 (laughs) 1838 01:22:51,534 --> 01:22:54,403 Well, let's just see what the Deej can do. 1839 01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,372 (laughs) Alright? 1840 01:22:56,439 --> 01:22:58,641 (laughter) 1841 01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:03,146 There he is. 1842 01:23:03,212 --> 01:23:05,314 He's comin' out of it. 1843 01:23:05,381 --> 01:23:06,715 Hey, son. 1844 01:23:06,782 --> 01:23:08,184 How you doin'? 1845 01:23:08,251 --> 01:23:09,718 You're here, you're back. 1846 01:23:09,785 --> 01:23:12,721 You're the prince of the valley. 1847 01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:14,690 How you like your life? 1848 01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:19,262 I love you, dad. 1849 01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,629 Are you sure you still wanna go? 1850 01:23:20,696 --> 01:23:23,132 (laughter) 1851 01:23:26,902 --> 01:23:28,271 No! 1852 01:23:28,337 --> 01:23:29,505 No! 1853 01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,439 No! 1854 01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,242 (snaps fingers) 1855 01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:35,611 (gasps) 1856 01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:38,147 I never liked him anyway. 1857 01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:40,416 (laughter) 1858 01:24:00,669 --> 01:24:02,771 VOICEOVER: You're watching the Diamond Zone, 1859 01:24:02,838 --> 01:24:04,840 America's top adult network. 1860 01:24:04,907 --> 01:24:06,275 Up next... 1861 01:24:06,342 --> 01:24:07,776 What's up, buddy? 1862 01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:09,778 It's Lester "Double-Wide" Watts here, 1863 01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:11,580 comin' straight at you. 1864 01:24:11,647 --> 01:24:14,049 Are you ready to get it on? 1865 01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,719 What? 1866 01:24:16,785 --> 01:24:19,755 And now, for a sampling of some of my new super hot hits. 1867 01:24:19,822 --> 01:24:21,790 What do you mean you can't pay me? 1868 01:24:21,857 --> 01:24:23,826 I cleaned the pool. 1869 01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:24,760 Though. 1870 01:24:25,728 --> 01:24:27,530 (giggles) 1871 01:24:27,596 --> 01:24:28,464 Oh, okay. 1872 01:24:29,765 --> 01:24:31,267 Consider your pipes 1873 01:24:31,334 --> 01:24:32,201 plumbed. 1874 01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,806 WOMAN: Here, hold this. 1875 01:24:37,873 --> 01:24:39,775 Are you ready for your deposition? 1876 01:24:39,842 --> 01:24:40,709 Shh. 1877 01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:45,414 That's right, baby. 1878 01:24:46,549 --> 01:24:49,552 And, now, a special delivery just for you. 1879 01:24:49,618 --> 01:24:53,422 The hottest piece of ass this side of the Mississippi. 1880 01:24:53,489 --> 01:24:55,691 Mrs. Bambi Cummings. 1881 01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:56,825 No, no, no. 1882 01:25:00,263 --> 01:25:02,265 (sighs) 1883 01:25:06,469 --> 01:25:09,104 (electric zap) 1884 01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,585 (dog barks) 1885 01:25:22,651 --> 01:25:23,852 (scream) 1886 01:25:23,919 --> 01:25:26,789 (ceiling crashes) 1887 01:25:37,800 --> 01:25:38,667 Bambi? 1888 01:25:46,442 --> 01:25:47,443 Bambi, is that you? 1889 01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:49,345 Yeah, it's really me. 1890 01:25:49,412 --> 01:25:50,613 But, how? 1891 01:25:50,679 --> 01:25:51,647 When your journey ended, 1892 01:25:51,714 --> 01:25:53,716 it turned out mine had just begun. 1893 01:25:53,782 --> 01:25:54,550 Your journey? 1894 01:25:54,617 --> 01:25:55,918 Yes, see, Carl. 1895 01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:58,887 You came into my life and showed me what I was looking for. 1896 01:25:58,954 --> 01:26:01,290 And then DJ told me if I wanted true love 1897 01:26:01,357 --> 01:26:03,426 I'd have to go after it myself. 1898 01:26:03,492 --> 01:26:04,893 So, you gave up your... 1899 01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:07,730 Your life there to be with me? 1900 01:26:07,796 --> 01:26:11,166 Carl, I'd do anything to be with you. 1901 01:26:12,034 --> 01:26:13,402 Anything. 1902 01:26:13,469 --> 01:26:14,337 Anything. 1903 01:26:23,312 --> 01:26:25,881 (laughs) See, Carl? 1904 01:26:25,948 --> 01:26:29,385 I told you I'd always have your back. 1905 01:26:29,452 --> 01:26:31,420 That's right, buddy. 1906 01:26:31,487 --> 01:26:33,589 Since third grade dodge ball. 1907 01:26:33,656 --> 01:26:35,291 Lester, what are you doing? 1908 01:26:35,358 --> 01:26:36,325 What am I doin'? 1909 01:26:36,392 --> 01:26:37,560 I'm just havin' the time of my life. 1910 01:26:37,626 --> 01:26:38,661 Two at a time. 1911 01:26:38,727 --> 01:26:41,864 Twice a day. (laughs) 1912 01:26:43,098 --> 01:26:45,368 Looks like you have your hands full too, Carl. 1913 01:26:45,434 --> 01:26:46,302 Yeah. 1914 01:26:47,403 --> 01:26:48,571 Thanks, man. 1915 01:26:48,637 --> 01:26:51,540 The pleasure is all mine. 1916 01:26:51,607 --> 01:26:53,909 See ya at Kwanzaa, buddy. 1917 01:26:53,976 --> 01:26:56,679 Yeah, I'll see you at Kwanzaa. 1918 01:26:57,846 --> 01:27:00,483 You know, they say I'm the best of the best. 1919 01:27:00,549 --> 01:27:01,216 Mm-hmm. 1920 01:27:01,284 --> 01:27:03,619 Think you can handle me? 1921 01:27:03,686 --> 01:27:04,753 Definitely. 1922 01:29:50,185 --> 01:29:53,656 Pack of smokes, c'mon, make it snappy. 1923 01:30:07,736 --> 01:30:09,538 Choke on 'em, punk. 1924 01:30:11,073 --> 01:30:13,075 Choke. 117170

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