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1
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:06,836
- SHIT, SHIT, SHITTY SHIT,
[bleep].
2
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,407
AH, JESUS TITTY [bleep].
3
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,610
HELLO, SIR.
EXCUSE ME?
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,612
- [vibrating babble]
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,924
- DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?
6
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,547
- 4:20.
7
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,892
- NICE.
8
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,247
[bong bubbles]
9
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:27,094
- TODAY, I WAS DRIVING ALONG
IN MY CAR,
10
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:30,504
AND BY "CAR,"
I MEAN CAR-DBOARD BOX
11
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,058
WITH WHEELS PAINTED ON IT,
12
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,896
AND I CAME ACROSS AN OLD WOMAN,
13
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:39,741
AND SHE WAS CARRYING THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL, SHINY TOASTER
14
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,640
I HAD EVER SEEN.
15
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,411
[bicycle horn honks]
16
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:44,709
SO I STOPPED
MY CAR--ARDBOARD BOX,
17
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,942
I GOT OUT,
18
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:49,106
AND I SAID,
"EXCUSE ME, MISS, THAT--
19
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,416
"THAT TOASTER IS--
IS MARVELOUS.
20
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,389
I-I WAS WONDERING
IF I COULD PAY YOU FOR IT."
21
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,758
AND SHE SAID,
"NO, IT'S NOT FOR SALE.
22
00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,227
IT'S MY TOASTER,
I'M NOT SELLING IT TO ANYBODY."
23
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,827
AND I SAID,
"MISS, I IMPLORE YOU,
24
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,230
"I NEED THAT TOASTER.
25
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,701
"IT'S--IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
26
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:11,300
I-I WANT TO STICK
MY GENITALIA IN IT."
27
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,905
AND SHE SAID,
"WHA--WHE--WHI--EH!"
28
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,438
AND I SAID,
"OH, THAT--THAT WASN'T--
29
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,183
"I DON'T THINK THAT WAS ENGLISH
OR ANY TYPE OF HUMAN LANGUAGE.
30
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,479
I THINK YOU JUST BARKED
LIKE A DOG."
31
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,281
AND SHE SAID,
"[babbling]."
32
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,323
AND I SAID, "I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
33
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,048
"BUT I'M GOING TO BREAK
YOUR NECK
34
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:29,523
IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT
TOASTER, YOU [bleep] BITCH."
35
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,493
AND SHE WAS LIKE,
"[babbling]."
36
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,992
AND THEN I MURDERED HER.
37
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:36,763
I MURDERED HER FOR THAT
BEAUTIFUL, SHINY TOASTER,
38
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,774
AND I [bleep] THE SHIT OUT OF IT
LATER THAT NIGHT.
39
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,467
I MADE THAT TOASTER MY BITCH.
40
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,800
[sobbing]
41
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,504
[phone ringing]
42
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,865
- HELLO, TRIPTANK.
- [on phone] HELLO.
43
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:49,683
I'M DISTURBED BY YOUR SHOW,
WITH THE RACISM AND THE DRUGS
44
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,877
AND THE ALCOHOL AND THE--
AND THE MAGIC MUSHROOMS
45
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,980
AND PEOPLE HAVING SEX
WITH ANIMALS.
46
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,482
I CAN'T ABIDE BY IT.
- OKAY.
47
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,894
- WHY CAN'T YOU TALK ABOUT ROSES
AND THE OCEAN INSTEAD?
48
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,587
- LET ME TRANSFER YOU
TO THAT DEPARTMENT.
49
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,889
HOLD, PLEASE.
- WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE
50
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,960
WHINER, CRYBABY CRUSADERS
TRYING TO TELL ROY
51
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,530
WHAT HE CAN OR CANNOT WATCH?
52
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,888
GOD DAMN IT,
THIS IS AMERICA.
53
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,096
IF I WANT TO WATCH A PORNO
AND THEN SWITCH OVER
54
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,898
TO THE TELETUBBIES,THEN SO BE IT. I WILL DO IT.
55
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,571
- DON'T YOU HAVE WORK TO DO,
OR SOMETHING?
56
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,139
- I GOT ME AN IDEA
FOR A CARTOON.
57
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,198
YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT?
- NO.
58
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:24,536
- WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO JOIN THIS MAN AND WOMAN
59
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,035
IN HOLY MATRIMONY.
- [clucks]
60
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,276
[crowd gasping and murmuring]
- WHAT THE HELL?
61
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,552
- OH, NO. THAT'S MY EX.
- [clucks]
62
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:36,422
- IT'S OVER, CHICKEN.
I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, GO!
63
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,623
[crowd gasps]
- OH!
64
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,415
- [clucking babble]
- HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF!
65
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:42,126
- NO! WAIT.
- [clucking]
66
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,499
- I LOVE YOU.
67
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:46,504
[crowd sighs]
AS A FRIEND.
68
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,700
- [clucks]
[crowd screaming]
69
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,641
- WHOA, HOLD UP.
- OH, MY GOD.
70
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:52,367
- HONEY, PLEASE,
THINK BEFORE YOU TALK.
71
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,343
- SERIOUSLY, CHICKEN,
IF YOU PULL THAT TRIGGER,
72
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,541
I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER,
EVEN YOUR STUPID MEMORY!
73
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,675
DO YOU WANT THAT?
- [clucking]
74
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:02,579
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
YOU CAN BE HAPPY.
75
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:03,946
[crowd sighs in relief]
76
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,751
JUST LIKE I'M GONNA BE HAPPY...
WITH NICK HERE.
77
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,524
- [angry clucking]
78
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:12,062
[crowd gasps]
- DO NOT LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE.
79
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,959
- OH, SWEET CANNOLI!
80
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,931
- PLEASE, CHICKEN,
DON'T DO THIS.
81
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,600
- [clucking]
82
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:20,097
- I DON'T KNOW
HOW I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
83
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,267
[crowd sighs in relief]
84
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,769
- [clucking]
- WHAT?
85
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,001
- [clucking]
- YOU JUST WANTED
86
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,235
TO HEAR ME SAY THAT?
THIS WAS A TEST?
87
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,542
- [clucks]
- I AM GOING TO
88
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,344
KILL THAT CHICKEN!
89
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,206
[chicken clucking]
90
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,845
- HEY, BUD,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
91
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:40,249
ARE WE KILLER BEES
OR JUST REGULAR BEES?
92
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,954
- HUH. I'M NOT SURE.
93
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:46,486
- WELL, HOW DO WE FIND OUT?
I FEEL LIKE THAT'S IMPORTANT.
94
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,263
[upbeat music]
95
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:53,271
[gunfire and people screaming]
96
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,297
- SO, UM, HOW DID THAT FEEL?
97
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,403
- [drags on cigarette]
98
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,235
[exhales]
99
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,811
MEH.
100
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,077
- NICE ASS.
101
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,650
- EXCUSE ME?
102
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,248
OH. [laughs]
YOU MEANT MY DONKEY.
103
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,751
FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE SOME KIND OF--
104
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,053
- [moaning]
105
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,064
- EW! GROSS! UGH!
106
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,157
- [moaning]
- EW!
107
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:18,888
[phone ringing]
108
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,032
- YOU'VE REACHED TRIPTANK.
- OH, GOD!
109
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,428
THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!
110
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,999
HOW DO I GET IT OUT?
HOW DO I GET IT OUT?
111
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,270
- COLD WATER, MILD DISH SOAP,
LIGHT RINSE.
112
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:28,999
[phone ringing]
113
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,173
TRIPTANK,
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
114
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,600
- HELLO, IS THIS BEN?
- MAYBE.
115
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,335
- BEN, OH, MY GOD, IT'S YOU!
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WAS YOU.
116
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,542
WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY
ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, BEN?
117
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,854
WAS IT BECAUSE YOUR FATHER
PUT HIS FINGER IN YOU?
118
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:40,977
DID HE STICK HIS [bleep]
IN YOUR MOUTH?
119
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,151
TELL ME NOW, I NEED TO KNOW.
- WAIT, I-I-I--I DON'T--
120
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,290
- PLEASE COME BACK TO ME, AND
STOP THIS NONSENSE ON THE TELLY.
121
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,217
- PREPARE YOURSELVES,
SPACE TRAVELERS,
122
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:51,492
FOR THE MOST AWESOME-TASTIC,
FUN-DORABLE ADVENTURE
123
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,762
OF A LIFETIME,
WITH YOUR PAL...
124
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:57,931
- ME!
I'M RICKY THE ROCKETSHIP.
125
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:06,035
- OH, GOD DAMN IT!
I TORE MY ACHILLES!
126
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,410
- HEY, KIDS.
- [screaming]
127
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,439
all: HEY, RICKY!
128
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,443
- I'M RICKY THE ROCKETSHIP,
129
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,975
THE HAPPIEST ROCKET SHIP
ON THE PLANET.
130
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:18,221
HOW WOULD YOU KIDS LIKE TO GO
ON A FUN SPACE ADVENTURE
131
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,748
TO THE MOON?
132
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,593
[all cheering]
133
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,858
OKAY, LET'S GO!
134
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,287
UH, ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE--
135
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,263
I'VE ONLY GOT ROOM FOR SIX
IN HERE.
136
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,433
OH! THE ROPE!
137
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:34,631
THE REST OF YOU GRAB THIS ROPE
AND HOLD ON TIGHT.
138
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:37,535
HERE WE GO!
139
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,738
both: [screaming]
140
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,540
- HOPE EVERYONE'S GOOD
BACK THERE.
141
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,313
MOON, HERE WE COME.
142
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:48,981
- UH, RICKY, IS THERE ANY OXYGEN
IN THE MAIN CABI--[coughs]
143
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,952
- OXY--WHAT?
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
144
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,792
I'M MADE OF MAGIC AND SCIENCE.
145
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,758
[all choking]
146
00:05:56,757 --> 00:06:00,087
WE'RE HERE.
WELCOME TO THE MOON!
147
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:03,704
ARE YOU KIDS READY TO PLAY?
148
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,197
OH, JIPPETY SKIPPETY.
149
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,813
- [coughs]
[late show music]
150
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:25,145
IT'S LATE NIGHT WITHBOOT-[bleep] MCGILLICUTTY.
151
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,792
I'M YOUR ANNOUNCER,
JACK FLANNAGAN.
152
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:33,628
AND NOW, YOUR HOST,
BOOT-[bleep] MCGILLICUTTY!
153
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,127
[cheers and applause]
- AH, THANK YOU.
154
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:38,029
OH, YEAH, YOU'RE TOO KIND.
PLEASE SIT!
155
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,031
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.
[censor bleeping]
156
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,403
[laughter]
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TODAY,
157
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,602
HUH, JACK? [giggles]
158
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,603
- OH, YES, BOOT-[bleep],
A REAL WINNER.
159
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,836
- LET'S GET STARTED
WITH THE JOKES.
160
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,780
KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE?
BANANA. BANANA WHO?
161
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,277
BANANA SECRET GOVERNMENT
TESTING FACILITY!
162
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,249
- [screams]
163
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,277
[both scream]
164
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,781
AH! LIKE IT!
165
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,784
[coughs]
166
00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,646
[laughter and applause]
167
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,853
HERE'S SOMETHING IN THE NEWS:
THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED PLANS
168
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,856
TODAY TO BUILD A HIGHWAY
TO THE MOON.
169
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:08,828
WHEN REACHED FOR COMMENT,
A SPOKESPERSON SAID...
170
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,559
[grunting and farting]
171
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,865
[laughs]
POLITICS, HUH, JACK?
172
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,597
- THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF CROOKS.
173
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,472
- ALL RIGHT, FOLKS,
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK,
174
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,771
BUT STICK AROUND,
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
175
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,172
[cheers and applause]
DUH, DUH, DUH.
176
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,774
I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING,
I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING!
177
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,935
[tires screeching]
NO.
178
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,543
[car horns honking]
179
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,235
- [bleep] YOU!
180
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,175
A-AND...WE'RE BACK.
[cheering and late show music]
181
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:30,721
YO, I RECOGNIZE OUR NEXT GUEST
FROM THE SIDE OF THE BUS.
182
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,577
PLEASE WELCOME
GUY ON THE SIDE OF THE BUS.
183
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:36,246
- HI, BOOT-[bleep], I'M JUST
A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
184
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:36,816
BUH-BYE!
185
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,724
- DON'T FORGET ME,
BOOT-[bleep].
186
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:40,786
- OH, HELLO, SCRAPEY.
187
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,264
- OH, I JUST WANTED TO PLUG
MY NEW BOOK,
188
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:48,373
THE GOVERNMENT IS BRAINWASHINGYOU AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT!
189
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,068
- AMEN, BROTHER.
[cheers and applause]
190
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,570
HANDS DOWN,
SMARTEST BUILDING I KNOW.
191
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,213
AND NOW FOR A SEGMENT
CALLED "RAT SEX."
192
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,939
[cheers and applause]
THAT'S--THAT'S--THAT'S RAT SEX.
193
00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,114
RAT--RAT SEX.
RAT SEX, RAT SEX, RAT SEX.
194
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,213
COME ON, YOU LITTLE SHITS!
195
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:03,816
[cheers and applause]
196
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,047
I INVENTED THAT SHIT.
- THAT'S RIGHT, BOOT-[bleep].
197
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:10,494
YOU'RE LOVED BY EVERYONE.
YOUR FATHER NEVER MOLESTED YOU.
198
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,691
YOU'RE AN A-PLUS WINNER!
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, FOLKS?
199
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:17,304
[cheers and applause]
[spraying paint can]
200
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:25,838
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
SMART, GREAT.
201
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,409
[woman screaming]
202
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,077
[car horns honking]
YOU'RE GREAT, GREAT.
203
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,407
RAT SEX.
[police siren wails]
204
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,711
- DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME.
- BYE!
205
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:37,354
[incoherent nightmare voices
echoing]
206
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,751
- YOU'RE SICK.
YOU'RE GONNA DIE.
207
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,922
- [screaming and whimpering]
208
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,559
[snores]
209
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,758
- AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO ART SCHOOL.
210
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,730
[phone ringing]
- TRIPTANK.
211
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,228
- [on phone] TALKING TO YOU
IS AN INSULT TO HUMANITY.
212
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,370
NOT ALL OF US ARE LIVING
IN COMAS, WATCHING TV, BUD.
213
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,297
THE INTERNET IS SCIENCE.
I SWEAR TO GOD,
214
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,503
IF YOU HAVE PROSTITUTES
DOWN THERE,
215
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,865
YOU HAVE THEM CALL ME
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
216
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,035
[phone ringing]
- PLEASE HOLD.
217
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:08,883
- OH, GOD. NOTHING HAPPENED.
EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
218
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,222
LIFE IS STILL MAGICAL.
219
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,117
JUST BE COOL, RICKY,
JUST BE COOL!
220
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:17,259
[sobbing] I'M NOT COOL.
DEAD CHILDREN ARE NOT COOL!
221
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:23,359
[cartoon music]
222
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,796
[stomach grumbles]
223
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,537
OW.
224
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,912
- [humming cheerfully]
225
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,320
- [evil laugh]
226
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,834
- OH, CARROTS.
227
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,399
- NO!
- [munching]
228
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,639
- [grunts]
229
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,977
- AHH.
230
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,076
- HUH?
231
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,822
OH!
232
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,217
[grunts]
233
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,520
[evil laugh]
234
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,055
[chuckles]
235
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,698
[shudders]
236
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:40,969
[gasps]
237
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,914
- OH! OH, GOD, HELP!
238
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:43,879
- I--
- PLEASE HELP ME.
239
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,477
DO SOMETHING, DO ANYTHING.
- I'M--I'M REALLY SORRY.
240
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,020
- [gasps] OH, GOD,
YOU'RE DROOLING!
241
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,717
- UH, NO.
I MEAN, I--IT'S--YES.
242
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:53,789
- OH, NO, NO!
243
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,417
- IT'S OKAY.
- NO, NO, NO!
244
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:58,492
- GOD, I'M--
I'M REALLY SORRY.
245
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,126
- [whimpers]
AH!
246
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,129
- [chomp]
247
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:06,000
[whispering] OKAY.
[shudders]
248
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,699
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
249
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,342
IT'S--IT'S--
IT'S JUST GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
250
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,538
[shuddering] OH, GOD,
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
251
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,811
NO, IT'S FINE.
EVERYTHING IS JUST--
252
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,781
OKAY, IT'S OKAY.
253
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,280
OH, MY GOD, WHAT--
254
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,082
NO, IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
EVERYTHING IS OKAY.
255
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,785
I CAN DEAL WITH THIS.
256
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,648
[shuddering]
257
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,863
[stomach growling]
258
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,889
[cartoon music fanfare]
259
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,325
- I JUST GOT THE CALL.
HOW'S MY SON?
260
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,059
- YEAH, YOUR SON WAS IN
A PRETTY BAD CAR ACCIDENT.
261
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,066
- PLEASE, JUST TELL IT TO ME
STRAIGHT, DOC.
262
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,128
- OH, OF COURSE, PARDON ME.
263
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,135
REGARDING YOUR SON, I FEAR
I DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD NEWS.
264
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:45,768
- OH, MY GOD.
265
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,772
- I MEAN, HIS ORGANS
ARE ALL [bleep], BRO.
266
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,135
- JUST TELL ME,
IS MY SON GONNA BE OKAY?
267
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,714
- WELL, CONSIDERING
THE STATE OF HIS--
268
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,714
UH, WHAT'S IT CALLED?
- I DON'T KNOW.
269
00:11:55,716 --> 00:12:00,046
- UH, THAT PART OF HIM
THAT IS MASHED INTO BITS,
270
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,053
UNRECOGNIZABLE MUSH--
271
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,124
- WHAT? I DON'T KNOW,
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.
272
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,463
- WELL, SPOILER ALERT.
[laughs]
273
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:08,428
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON?
- MM, WHAT IS IT?
274
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,698
OH, HIS HEAD...
♪ SHOULDER, KNEES, AND TOES
275
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,758
♪ KNEES AND TOES
- WHAT?
276
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,166
- ♪ HEAD, SHOULDER, KNEES,
AND TOES ♪
277
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:15,968
♪ KNEES AND TOES
278
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,339
♪ AND HIS EYES AND HIS EARS
- OH, MY GOD.
279
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,367
- ♪ AND HIS MOUTH AND NOSE
- NO!
280
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,172
- ♪ YOUR SON IS JUST MUSH NOW
- [sobs]
281
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,144
- ♪ SO G--MAKE ANOTHER BOY
282
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,513
[phone ringing]
- HELLO, TRIPTANK.
283
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,781
- [on phone] HI, THIS IS RICKY
THE ROCKETSHIP.
284
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,780
WHEN I SAID, "YES,
YOU CAN DO THIS SKETCH,"
285
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,482
I DIDN'T MEAN
THAT YOU CAN PORTRAY ME
286
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:33,084
AS A [bleep] HOMICIDAL KILLER.
THIS IS BULLSHIT!
287
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,916
- SO YOU'RE SAYING
YOU'RE HAVING AN ISSUE NOW?
288
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,491
- IF I SEE THAT SKETCH
ANYWHERE ON THAT SHOW,
289
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,861
I'M COMING DOWN
AND BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
290
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,731
WITH AN ALUMINUM BASEBALL BAT.
291
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:43,829
I'M STARTING AT YOUR HEAD,
292
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,100
THEN WORKING MY WAY
DOWN TO YOUR RIBCAGE,
293
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,069
AND THEN YOUR KNEES,
YOUR ANKLES.
294
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,028
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA MISS
YOUR BABY [bleep] TOE!
295
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,996
[fire engine siren blaring]
296
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,848
- ♪ THREE ALIENS
CAME FROM THE SKY ♪
297
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,447
♪ THE GALACTIC COUNCIL
SENT THEM ♪
298
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,619
all: ♪ AND HERE'S
THE REASON WHY ♪
299
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:08,347
- ♪ THE MISSION IS TO STUDY
EARTH'S MOST AVERAGE GU-UY ♪
300
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,415
- AH!
all: ♪ TO SEE IF HUMANS
301
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,862
♪ ARE WORTH SAVING
OR IF EVERYONE HAS TO DIE ♪
302
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:15,629
- WAIT, WHAT?
303
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,399
I SEE.
304
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,099
UH-HUH.
[phone beep]
305
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:21,901
[sobbing]
306
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:25,472
- LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GOT
A CASE OF "THE FROWNSIES."
307
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,242
- IT'S NOT "THE FROWNSIES,"
OKAY?
308
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,610
MY MOM WAS JUST DIAGNOSED
WITH TERMINAL CANCER!
309
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,580
- OH, WE CAN CURE THAT,
NO PROBLEM.
310
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,479
FOR US, THAT'S LIKE
THE SNIFFLES.
311
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,111
- REALLY?
- YOU'RE IN LUCK,
312
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,676
BECAUSE OUR ALIEN SEMEN...
313
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,184
- UH-HUH.
- HAS THESE SPECIAL ENZYMES
314
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,446
IN IT, AND THEY'LL
FIX YOUR MOM RIGHT UP.
315
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,494
- OH, GOD.
OKAY, WELL, WHAT DO WE DO?
316
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,320
W-WE PUT IT IN A PILL,
OR SOMETHING?
317
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:49,085
- GOSH, YOU'RE BAD
AT GUESSING, JEFF.
318
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:55,173
- SO--[coughs]
HOW EXACTLY DOES THIS WORK?
319
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,038
- OKAY, THIS IS--THIS
IS GONNA SOUND INSANE, MOM,
320
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,868
BUT, UH,
CHIEF WINDFEATHER HERE...
321
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,073
- HELLO.
- HE, UH, HAS SPECIAL POWERS.
322
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,236
YOU KNOW, LIKE BUFFALO SPIRIT,
AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
323
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,046
- UH-HUH.
- BUT REALLY,
324
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:10,277
TO USE THESE POWERS
TO THEIR FULL POTENTIAL,
325
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,423
HE HAS TO BE VERY,
VERY CLOSE TO YOU--
326
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,990
INSIDE OF YOU ACTUALLY,
AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
327
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,989
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO TO YOU,
IT'S GONNA SEEM A LOT LIKE SEX,
328
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,663
BUT IT'S NOT SEX AT ALL.
329
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,561
IT'S JUST
AN ANCIENT, ANCIENT THERAPY
330
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:28,334
THAT IS GUARANTEED TO WORK.
331
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:32,195
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, MOM?
332
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,135
- WELL, IT COULDN'T BE WORSE
THAN CHEMO.
333
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,141
- [grunting]
334
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,214
- [whispering]
WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?
335
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,983
- HUH, THAT IS MORE STUBBORN
THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE,
336
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,783
I'LL BE HONEST.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
337
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:45,754
- UH, HOW DO I, UH--
338
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:49,552
OH, A BOWLING BALL
HAS THREE HOLES IN IT, RIGHT?
339
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,516
- YES.
- OKAY,
340
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:54,763
SO IMAGINE HOW HARD IT WOULD BE
TO BOWL A GOOD GAME
341
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,401
WITH JUST ONE FINGER.
- WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
342
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,927
- I NEED MY OTHER TWO FINGERS
SO WE CAN GIVE HER
343
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,603
THE FULL TRIPLE-INJECTION
TREATMENT.
344
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,102
GUYS!
345
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,804
- [shuddering]
OH.
346
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:11,210
[all grunting]
347
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,881
- HMPH!
GUYS, THIS IS A MISTAKE.
348
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,980
I SHOULD'VE--
- GOOD NEWS, JEFF--
349
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,051
NO, GREAT NEWS!
- WE DID IT.
350
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,520
- [laughing] OH, THANK GOD!
THAT'S AMAZING!
351
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,919
- SHE'LL NEVER
GET CANKER SORES AGAIN!
352
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:23,963
- WHAT?
- IT'S FUNNY,
353
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,387
YOU GUYS THINK THEY'RE
SUCH A BIG DEAL. FOR US--
354
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,363
- SHE DIDN'T HAVE CANKER SORES,
YOU [bleep] IDIOTS!
355
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,901
SHE HAD CANCER! CAN-CER!
- [gasps]
356
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,727
- WELL, THE ONLY CURE FOR THAT
IS THE TRIPLE FIST.
357
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:35,704
- NO!
358
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,402
[all humming]
[ethereal vibration]
359
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,095
- OHH.
360
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,535
- WHOA.
- HONEY, IT'S ME.
361
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,811
HOW YOU FEELING?
362
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,939
- I FEEL AMAZING.
363
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:48,575
- WOW!
YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE.
364
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,651
HEY, LISTEN,
I GOT A BUM HIP.
365
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,449
YOU THINK YOU COULD WORK SOME
OF YOUR MAGIC ON ME SOMETIME?
366
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,823
[polka music]
- ♪ AH, HA HA HA HA HA
367
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,222
♪ AH, HA HA HA HA
368
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,223
♪ AH, HA HA
- ♪ HEY, HEY
369
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:02,125
- ♪ OH, HO HO
- ♪ HEY, HEY
370
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,558
[cheers and applause]
371
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:08,033
- LET THE TOURNAMENT
OF FIGHTING STYLES...BEGIN!
372
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,874
[cheers and applause]
373
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:10,669
ROUND ONE.
374
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:15,940
IRON SHOGUN VERSUS
THE SHADOW WARRIOR.
375
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,782
[cheers and applause]
376
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:21,247
THE SHADOW WARRIOR.
377
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:22,807
- [coughs]
378
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,146
- THE SHADOW--
- WHERE'S THE [bleep]
379
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,880
SHADOW WARRIOR?
- I DON'T KNOW, HE CONFIRMED.
380
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,486
- AH, GOOD,
SO YOU TALKED TO HIM.
381
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,558
- UH, EMAIL.
- EMAIL? YOU HAVE TO CALL.
382
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,658
[bleep]. OKAY, OKAY,
JUST SWITCH THE SCHEDULE AROUND.
383
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,501
HAVE HIM FIGHT ZUN-MAI.
- ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE.
384
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,297
- ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE?
385
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,328
UGH! WHAT ABOUT CROCODILE?
- NO.
386
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,704
- LEROY SMAX?
- NUH-UH.
387
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,902
- DANNY HERO?
- NADA.
388
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,973
- BLOOD NINJA?
- NO.
389
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:45,971
- YOSHIKO?
- NAH.
390
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:46,742
- CYBORG?
- NOPE.
391
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,110
- WHAT'S HIS NAME,
THE [bleep] MONKEY KUNG-FU GUY.
392
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:49,969
- SORRY.
- YOU CAN'T HOLD
393
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,836
A MYSTERIOUS, UNDERGROUND
MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT
394
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,506
WITH ONE GUY!
395
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,283
- DON'T I, LIKE, WIN BY DEFAULT,
OR WHATEVER?
396
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,052
[crowd booing]
- GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF
397
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,821
AROUND HERE.
[phone ringing]
398
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:00,619
[crowd booing]
399
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,550
- [on phone] HELLO?
- [chuckling] LEROY SMAX.
400
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,586
HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?
IT'S YAO-ZHANG.
401
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,632
- YO, WHAT'S UP?
- YEAH, SO WE WERE JUST HAVING
402
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,697
THIS WHOLE TOURNAMENT TO PROVE
THE BEST FIGHTING STYLE THING,
403
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,527
AND WE WERE REALLY HOPING--
- YEAH, SORRY, MAN, I WOULD,
404
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,903
BUT RIGHT NOW,
I'M GETTING REVENGE
405
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,571
AGAINST THE SHAOLIN WARRIOR
WHO KILLED MY BROTHER.
406
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,300
- REALLY? THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING?
407
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,136
YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING THAT?
408
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,041
- YEP, GOTTA GO.
[video game fighting grunts]
409
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,743
- WELL, 'CAUSE I--HELLO?
[dial tone]
410
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,084
GOD DAMN IT!
411
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,549
[dialing beeps]
412
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,577
[phone ringing]
- YELLO?
413
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:32,381
- BLOOD NINJA, MARTIAL ARTS
TOURNAMENT ON DRAGON ISLAND.
414
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,885
WAITING FOR YOU, BUDDY.
WHERE ARE YOU?
415
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,487
- OH, SHIT. THAT WAS TODAY?
I CAN'T.
416
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,789
I'M IN CONNECTICUT WITH MY KIDS.
[baby babbling]
417
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:40,563
[beep]
- ASSHOLE!
418
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,390
OKAY, I KNOW
I CAN GET YOSHIKO TO COMMIT.
419
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,526
SHE'S ALWAYS HAD, LIKE,
A THING FOR ME.
420
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,633
[dialing tones]
421
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,895
- OOH! [panting]
422
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,644
[phone ringing]
423
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:53,869
UGH!
424
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:54,413
[beep]
425
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,437
[crowd booing]
- COME ON, MAN,
426
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,872
HE'S GOT TO FIGHT SOMEBODY,
OTHERWISE,
427
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,436
WE LEGALLY HAVE TO REFUND
EVERYONE'S ADMISSION.
428
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,806
I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, MAN.
429
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,914
I SPENT IT ALL
ON THIS [bleep] THRONE!
430
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:06,376
OH, GOD, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MOVE
BACK IN WITH MY PARENTS.
431
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:10,416
- WAIT! MASTER YAO-ZHANG,
CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE?
432
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,193
[cheers and applause]
433
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,462
- HEY, DID SOMEBODY
ORDER A PIZZA?
434
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,031
UGH!
435
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,488
[grunts]
[cheers and applause]
436
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,526
- IRON SHOGUN WINS
THE TOURNAMENT!
437
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,502
[cheers and applause]
- [laughs]
438
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,030
OH, I AM SORRY,
TRAFFIC WAS JUST--
439
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:27,306
AH, COME ON!
I'M, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES LATE.
440
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:35,483
[applause]
441
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,082
- MOM, DAD,
442
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:38,182
I FOUND THIS IN YOUR ROOM,
AND I HAVE A QUESTION.
443
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:40,554
- [chuckles] HONEY,
I THINK IT'S TIME WE HAVE
444
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,093
THAT BIRDS AND BEES TALK.
- OH, DEAR LORD.
445
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,419
[laugh track]
- BUT DAD, I LEARNED
446
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,964
ALL ABOUT THE BIRDS AND BEES
AND OTHER WILDLIFE
447
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,060
WHILE IN THE SCOUTS.
[laugh track]
448
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,661
- NO, SWEETIE,
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
449
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,863
- YES, SON.
450
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:55,225
WHEN A MOMMY BIRD
AND A DADDY BEE LOVE EACH OTHER,
451
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,565
THEY WILL COME TOGETHER
AND MAKE A BABY.
452
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,570
- HOWEVER, SOMETIMES,
453
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,041
THE BIRDS LIKE TO STUNG
BY THE BEES FOR FUN.
454
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,010
[laugh track]
- OTHER TIMES,
455
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,308
THE BEES LIKE TO BE CHOKED
BY THE BIRDS.
456
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,350
- SOMETIMES, THE BIRD AND BEE
WILL SWITCH ROLES...
457
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,747
[laugh track]
WHERE THE BEE GETS STUNG
458
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,678
BY A FAKE STINGER
THAT THE BIRD WEARS.
459
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,753
[laugh track]
- THEN THERE ARE TIMES
460
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:16,122
WHEN THE BIRD WEARS A MASK,
WHERE SHE HAS TO TRUST THE BEE
461
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,062
TO DO THINGS
THAT HURT IN THE BEGINNING,
462
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,727
BUT IN THE END, FEEL AMAZING.
[laugh track]
463
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,187
- OTHER TIMES, A BEE
WILL HOOK UP WITH ANOTHER BEE,
464
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,656
BUT IT'S COOL,
BECAUSE IT WAS IN A HOT TUB.
465
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,195
- SOMETIMES, A BIRD
LIKES TO GET STUNG
466
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:33,001
BY MANY DIFFERENT BEES IN A ROW,
WHILE SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.
467
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,566
- SOMETIMES,
THE BEE GOES TO VEGAS
468
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,314
AND SLEEPS WITH A STRANGE BIRD.
469
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,309
THEN HE FINDS OUT
THAT THE BIRD HAS A STINGER.
470
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,452
[laugh track]
THAT BEE HAD TO KILL THAT BIRD
471
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,407
AND LEAVE THE BODY
OUTSIDE THE CITY.
472
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,446
- UH-OH.
- SOMETIMES, THE--
473
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,521
- MOM? DAD?
474
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,060
ARE WE STILL TALKING
ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES?
475
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,217
[both chuckle]
[laugh track]
476
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:57,826
[cheers and applause]
477
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,430
- OKAY, FINE,
GO AHEAD, TELL ME.
478
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,232
- OKAY, HERE WE GO, MAN.
SO PICTURE THIS.
479
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,695
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
A CUTE, LITTLE UNICORN
480
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,143
DROPS IN OUT OF THE SKY
ONTO THIS LITTLE CLIFF,
481
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:08,209
AND HE'S STANDING ON THE EDGE,
TERRIFIED.
482
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,408
THE ONLY WAY OUT
IS THROUGH THIS CHAINSAW PIT
483
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,580
WITH SWORDS AND KNIVES
AND BLADES SWINGING ALL AROUND,
484
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,810
SO HE SUCKS IT UP
LIKE A TRUE UNICORN MAN WOULD,
485
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,516
HE JUMPS OVER THE CHAINSAWS,
486
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,018
FINALLY MAKES IT
TO THE OTHER SIDE.
487
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,149
CLEAR OUT OF NOWHERE COMES
THIS VIKING SON OF A BITCH,
488
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,055
AND KICKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF, AND
HE FALLS DOWN INTO THE SPIKES,
489
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,558
DEAD MEAT, GUTS ALL OVER.
POOR UNICORN.
490
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,690
- THAT IS
THE ABSOLUTE WORST IDEA EVER.
491
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:33,056
IT WOULD NEVER GET MADE.
THAT SHOW WOULD NEVER GET MADE.
492
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:37,126
- [death metal screaming]
♪ THE LAST DEAD UNICORN!
493
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,215
- [grunts]
- [screams]
494
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,059
- I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON,
CHILDREN,
495
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:07,832
JUST IN A MUCH, MUCH HOTTER
PLACE.
36411
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