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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:06,836 - SHIT, SHIT, SHITTY SHIT, [bleep]. 2 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,407 AH, JESUS TITTY [bleep]. 3 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,610 HELLO, SIR. EXCUSE ME? 4 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,612 - [vibrating babble] 5 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,924 - DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? 6 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,547 - 4:20. 7 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,892 - NICE. 8 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,247 [bong bubbles] 9 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:27,094 - TODAY, I WAS DRIVING ALONG IN MY CAR, 10 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:30,504 AND BY "CAR," I MEAN CAR-DBOARD BOX 11 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,058 WITH WHEELS PAINTED ON IT, 12 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,896 AND I CAME ACROSS AN OLD WOMAN, 13 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:39,741 AND SHE WAS CARRYING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, SHINY TOASTER 14 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,640 I HAD EVER SEEN. 15 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,411 [bicycle horn honks] 16 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:44,709 SO I STOPPED MY CAR--ARDBOARD BOX, 17 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,942 I GOT OUT, 18 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:49,106 AND I SAID, "EXCUSE ME, MISS, THAT-- 19 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,416 "THAT TOASTER IS-- IS MARVELOUS. 20 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,389 I-I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD PAY YOU FOR IT." 21 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,758 AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT'S NOT FOR SALE. 22 00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,227 IT'S MY TOASTER, I'M NOT SELLING IT TO ANYBODY." 23 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,827 AND I SAID, "MISS, I IMPLORE YOU, 24 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,230 "I NEED THAT TOASTER. 25 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,701 "IT'S--IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 26 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:11,300 I-I WANT TO STICK MY GENITALIA IN IT." 27 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,905 AND SHE SAID, "WHA--WHE--WHI--EH!" 28 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,438 AND I SAID, "OH, THAT--THAT WASN'T-- 29 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,183 "I DON'T THINK THAT WAS ENGLISH OR ANY TYPE OF HUMAN LANGUAGE. 30 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,479 I THINK YOU JUST BARKED LIKE A DOG." 31 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,281 AND SHE SAID, "[babbling]." 32 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,323 AND I SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, 33 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,048 "BUT I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR NECK 34 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:29,523 IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT TOASTER, YOU [bleep] BITCH." 35 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,493 AND SHE WAS LIKE, "[babbling]." 36 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,992 AND THEN I MURDERED HER. 37 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:36,763 I MURDERED HER FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL, SHINY TOASTER, 38 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,774 AND I [bleep] THE SHIT OUT OF IT LATER THAT NIGHT. 39 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,467 I MADE THAT TOASTER MY BITCH. 40 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,800 [sobbing] 41 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,504 [phone ringing] 42 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,865 - HELLO, TRIPTANK. - [on phone] HELLO. 43 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:49,683 I'M DISTURBED BY YOUR SHOW, WITH THE RACISM AND THE DRUGS 44 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,877 AND THE ALCOHOL AND THE-- AND THE MAGIC MUSHROOMS 45 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,980 AND PEOPLE HAVING SEX WITH ANIMALS. 46 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,482 I CAN'T ABIDE BY IT. - OKAY. 47 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,894 - WHY CAN'T YOU TALK ABOUT ROSES AND THE OCEAN INSTEAD? 48 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,587 - LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO THAT DEPARTMENT. 49 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,889 HOLD, PLEASE. - WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE 50 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,960 WHINER, CRYBABY CRUSADERS TRYING TO TELL ROY 51 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,530 WHAT HE CAN OR CANNOT WATCH? 52 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,888 GOD DAMN IT, THIS IS AMERICA. 53 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,096 IF I WANT TO WATCH A PORNO AND THEN SWITCH OVER 54 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,898 TO THE TELETUBBIES, THEN SO BE IT. I WILL DO IT. 55 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,571 - DON'T YOU HAVE WORK TO DO, OR SOMETHING? 56 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,139 - I GOT ME AN IDEA FOR A CARTOON. 57 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,198 YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT? - NO. 58 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:24,536 - WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO JOIN THIS MAN AND WOMAN 59 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,035 IN HOLY MATRIMONY. - [clucks] 60 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,276 [crowd gasping and murmuring] - WHAT THE HELL? 61 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,552 - OH, NO. THAT'S MY EX. - [clucks] 62 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:36,422 - IT'S OVER, CHICKEN. I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, GO! 63 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,623 [crowd gasps] - OH! 64 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,415 - [clucking babble] - HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF! 65 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:42,126 - NO! WAIT. - [clucking] 66 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,499 - I LOVE YOU. 67 00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:46,504 [crowd sighs] AS A FRIEND. 68 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,700 - [clucks] [crowd screaming] 69 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,641 - WHOA, HOLD UP. - OH, MY GOD. 70 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:52,367 - HONEY, PLEASE, THINK BEFORE YOU TALK. 71 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,343 - SERIOUSLY, CHICKEN, IF YOU PULL THAT TRIGGER, 72 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,541 I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER, EVEN YOUR STUPID MEMORY! 73 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,675 DO YOU WANT THAT? - [clucking] 74 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:02,579 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU CAN BE HAPPY. 75 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:03,946 [crowd sighs in relief] 76 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,751 JUST LIKE I'M GONNA BE HAPPY... WITH NICK HERE. 77 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,524 - [angry clucking] 78 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:12,062 [crowd gasps] - DO NOT LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE. 79 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,959 - OH, SWEET CANNOLI! 80 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,931 - PLEASE, CHICKEN, DON'T DO THIS. 81 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,600 - [clucking] 82 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:20,097 - I DON'T KNOW HOW I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU. 83 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,267 [crowd sighs in relief] 84 00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,769 - [clucking] - WHAT? 85 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,001 - [clucking] - YOU JUST WANTED 86 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,235 TO HEAR ME SAY THAT? THIS WAS A TEST? 87 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,542 - [clucks] - I AM GOING TO 88 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,344 KILL THAT CHICKEN! 89 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,206 [chicken clucking] 90 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,845 - HEY, BUD, I'VE BEEN THINKING. 91 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:40,249 ARE WE KILLER BEES OR JUST REGULAR BEES? 92 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,954 - HUH. I'M NOT SURE. 93 00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:46,486 - WELL, HOW DO WE FIND OUT? I FEEL LIKE THAT'S IMPORTANT. 94 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,263 [upbeat music] 95 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:53,271 [gunfire and people screaming] 96 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,297 - SO, UM, HOW DID THAT FEEL? 97 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,403 - [drags on cigarette] 98 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,235 [exhales] 99 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,811 MEH. 100 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,077 - NICE ASS. 101 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,650 - EXCUSE ME? 102 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,248 OH. [laughs] YOU MEANT MY DONKEY. 103 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,751 FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME KIND OF-- 104 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,053 - [moaning] 105 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,064 - EW! GROSS! UGH! 106 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,157 - [moaning] - EW! 107 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:18,888 [phone ringing] 108 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,032 - YOU'VE REACHED TRIPTANK. - OH, GOD! 109 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,428 THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE! 110 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,999 HOW DO I GET IT OUT? HOW DO I GET IT OUT? 111 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,270 - COLD WATER, MILD DISH SOAP, LIGHT RINSE. 112 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:28,999 [phone ringing] 113 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,173 TRIPTANK, HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 114 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,600 - HELLO, IS THIS BEN? - MAYBE. 115 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,335 - BEN, OH, MY GOD, IT'S YOU! I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WAS YOU. 116 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,542 WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, BEN? 117 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,854 WAS IT BECAUSE YOUR FATHER PUT HIS FINGER IN YOU? 118 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:40,977 DID HE STICK HIS [bleep] IN YOUR MOUTH? 119 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,151 TELL ME NOW, I NEED TO KNOW. - WAIT, I-I-I--I DON'T-- 120 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,290 - PLEASE COME BACK TO ME, AND STOP THIS NONSENSE ON THE TELLY. 121 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,217 - PREPARE YOURSELVES, SPACE TRAVELERS, 122 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:51,492 FOR THE MOST AWESOME-TASTIC, FUN-DORABLE ADVENTURE 123 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,762 OF A LIFETIME, WITH YOUR PAL... 124 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:57,931 - ME! I'M RICKY THE ROCKETSHIP. 125 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:06,035 - OH, GOD DAMN IT! I TORE MY ACHILLES! 126 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,410 - HEY, KIDS. - [screaming] 127 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,439 all: HEY, RICKY! 128 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,443 - I'M RICKY THE ROCKETSHIP, 129 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,975 THE HAPPIEST ROCKET SHIP ON THE PLANET. 130 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:18,221 HOW WOULD YOU KIDS LIKE TO GO ON A FUN SPACE ADVENTURE 131 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,748 TO THE MOON? 132 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,593 [all cheering] 133 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,858 OKAY, LET'S GO! 134 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,287 UH, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE-- 135 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,263 I'VE ONLY GOT ROOM FOR SIX IN HERE. 136 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,433 OH! THE ROPE! 137 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:34,631 THE REST OF YOU GRAB THIS ROPE AND HOLD ON TIGHT. 138 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:37,535 HERE WE GO! 139 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,738 both: [screaming] 140 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,540 - HOPE EVERYONE'S GOOD BACK THERE. 141 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,313 MOON, HERE WE COME. 142 00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:48,981 - UH, RICKY, IS THERE ANY OXYGEN IN THE MAIN CABI--[coughs] 143 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,952 - OXY--WHAT? THERE'S NO SUCH THING. 144 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,792 I'M MADE OF MAGIC AND SCIENCE. 145 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,758 [all choking] 146 00:05:56,757 --> 00:06:00,087 WE'RE HERE. WELCOME TO THE MOON! 147 00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:03,704 ARE YOU KIDS READY TO PLAY? 148 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,197 OH, JIPPETY SKIPPETY. 149 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,813 - [coughs] [late show music] 150 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:25,145 IT'S LATE NIGHT WITH BOOT-[bleep] MCGILLICUTTY. 151 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,792 I'M YOUR ANNOUNCER, JACK FLANNAGAN. 152 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:33,628 AND NOW, YOUR HOST, BOOT-[bleep] MCGILLICUTTY! 153 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,127 [cheers and applause] - AH, THANK YOU. 154 00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:38,029 OH, YEAH, YOU'RE TOO KIND. PLEASE SIT! 155 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,031 SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. [censor bleeping] 156 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,403 [laughter] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TODAY, 157 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,602 HUH, JACK? [giggles] 158 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,603 - OH, YES, BOOT-[bleep], A REAL WINNER. 159 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,836 - LET'S GET STARTED WITH THE JOKES. 160 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,780 KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BANANA. BANANA WHO? 161 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,277 BANANA SECRET GOVERNMENT TESTING FACILITY! 162 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,249 - [screams] 163 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,277 [both scream] 164 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,781 AH! LIKE IT! 165 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,784 [coughs] 166 00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,646 [laughter and applause] 167 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,853 HERE'S SOMETHING IN THE NEWS: THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED PLANS 168 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,856 TODAY TO BUILD A HIGHWAY TO THE MOON. 169 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:08,828 WHEN REACHED FOR COMMENT, A SPOKESPERSON SAID... 170 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,559 [grunting and farting] 171 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,865 [laughs] POLITICS, HUH, JACK? 172 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,597 - THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF CROOKS. 173 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,472 - ALL RIGHT, FOLKS, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, 174 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,771 BUT STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 175 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,172 [cheers and applause] DUH, DUH, DUH. 176 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,774 I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING! 177 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,935 [tires screeching] NO. 178 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,543 [car horns honking] 179 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,235 - [bleep] YOU! 180 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,175 A-AND...WE'RE BACK. [cheering and late show music] 181 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:30,721 YO, I RECOGNIZE OUR NEXT GUEST FROM THE SIDE OF THE BUS. 182 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,577 PLEASE WELCOME GUY ON THE SIDE OF THE BUS. 183 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:36,246 - HI, BOOT-[bleep], I'M JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION. 184 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:36,816 BUH-BYE! 185 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,724 - DON'T FORGET ME, BOOT-[bleep]. 186 00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:40,786 - OH, HELLO, SCRAPEY. 187 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,264 - OH, I JUST WANTED TO PLUG MY NEW BOOK, 188 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:48,373 THE GOVERNMENT IS BRAINWASHING YOU AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT! 189 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,068 - AMEN, BROTHER. [cheers and applause] 190 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,570 HANDS DOWN, SMARTEST BUILDING I KNOW. 191 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,213 AND NOW FOR A SEGMENT CALLED "RAT SEX." 192 00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,939 [cheers and applause] THAT'S--THAT'S--THAT'S RAT SEX. 193 00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,114 RAT--RAT SEX. RAT SEX, RAT SEX, RAT SEX. 194 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,213 COME ON, YOU LITTLE SHITS! 195 00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:03,816 [cheers and applause] 196 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,047 I INVENTED THAT SHIT. - THAT'S RIGHT, BOOT-[bleep]. 197 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:10,494 YOU'RE LOVED BY EVERYONE. YOUR FATHER NEVER MOLESTED YOU. 198 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,691 YOU'RE AN A-PLUS WINNER! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, FOLKS? 199 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:17,304 [cheers and applause] [spraying paint can] 200 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:25,838 EVERYTHING IS FINE. SMART, GREAT. 201 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,409 [woman screaming] 202 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,077 [car horns honking] YOU'RE GREAT, GREAT. 203 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,407 RAT SEX. [police siren wails] 204 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,711 - DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME. - BYE! 205 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:37,354 [incoherent nightmare voices echoing] 206 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,751 - YOU'RE SICK. YOU'RE GONNA DIE. 207 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,922 - [screaming and whimpering] 208 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,559 [snores] 209 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,758 - AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ART SCHOOL. 210 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,730 [phone ringing] - TRIPTANK. 211 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,228 - [on phone] TALKING TO YOU IS AN INSULT TO HUMANITY. 212 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,370 NOT ALL OF US ARE LIVING IN COMAS, WATCHING TV, BUD. 213 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,297 THE INTERNET IS SCIENCE. I SWEAR TO GOD, 214 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,503 IF YOU HAVE PROSTITUTES DOWN THERE, 215 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,865 YOU HAVE THEM CALL ME BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! 216 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,035 [phone ringing] - PLEASE HOLD. 217 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:08,883 - OH, GOD. NOTHING HAPPENED. EVERYTHING'S GOOD. 218 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,222 LIFE IS STILL MAGICAL. 219 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,117 JUST BE COOL, RICKY, JUST BE COOL! 220 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:17,259 [sobbing] I'M NOT COOL. DEAD CHILDREN ARE NOT COOL! 221 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:23,359 [cartoon music] 222 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,796 [stomach grumbles] 223 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,537 OW. 224 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,912 - [humming cheerfully] 225 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,320 - [evil laugh] 226 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,834 - OH, CARROTS. 227 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,399 - NO! - [munching] 228 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,639 - [grunts] 229 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,977 - AHH. 230 00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,076 - HUH? 231 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,822 OH! 232 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,217 [grunts] 233 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,520 [evil laugh] 234 00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,055 [chuckles] 235 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,698 [shudders] 236 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:40,969 [gasps] 237 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,914 - OH! OH, GOD, HELP! 238 00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:43,879 - I-- - PLEASE HELP ME. 239 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,477 DO SOMETHING, DO ANYTHING. - I'M--I'M REALLY SORRY. 240 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,020 - [gasps] OH, GOD, YOU'RE DROOLING! 241 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,717 - UH, NO. I MEAN, I--IT'S--YES. 242 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:53,789 - OH, NO, NO! 243 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,417 - IT'S OKAY. - NO, NO, NO! 244 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:58,492 - GOD, I'M-- I'M REALLY SORRY. 245 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,126 - [whimpers] AH! 246 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,129 - [chomp] 247 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:06,000 [whispering] OKAY. [shudders] 248 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,699 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. EVERYTHING IS FINE. 249 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,342 IT'S--IT'S-- IT'S JUST GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. 250 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,538 [shuddering] OH, GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? 251 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,811 NO, IT'S FINE. EVERYTHING IS JUST-- 252 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,781 OKAY, IT'S OKAY. 253 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,280 OH, MY GOD, WHAT-- 254 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,082 NO, IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE. EVERYTHING IS OKAY. 255 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,785 I CAN DEAL WITH THIS. 256 00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,648 [shuddering] 257 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,863 [stomach growling] 258 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,889 [cartoon music fanfare] 259 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,325 - I JUST GOT THE CALL. HOW'S MY SON? 260 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,059 - YEAH, YOUR SON WAS IN A PRETTY BAD CAR ACCIDENT. 261 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,066 - PLEASE, JUST TELL IT TO ME STRAIGHT, DOC. 262 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,128 - OH, OF COURSE, PARDON ME. 263 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,135 REGARDING YOUR SON, I FEAR I DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD NEWS. 264 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:45,768 - OH, MY GOD. 265 00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,772 - I MEAN, HIS ORGANS ARE ALL [bleep], BRO. 266 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,135 - JUST TELL ME, IS MY SON GONNA BE OKAY? 267 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,714 - WELL, CONSIDERING THE STATE OF HIS-- 268 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,714 UH, WHAT'S IT CALLED? - I DON'T KNOW. 269 00:11:55,716 --> 00:12:00,046 - UH, THAT PART OF HIM THAT IS MASHED INTO BITS, 270 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,053 UNRECOGNIZABLE MUSH-- 271 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,124 - WHAT? I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. 272 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,463 - WELL, SPOILER ALERT. [laughs] 273 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:08,428 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON? - MM, WHAT IS IT? 274 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,698 OH, HIS HEAD... ♪ SHOULDER, KNEES, AND TOES 275 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,758 ♪ KNEES AND TOES - WHAT? 276 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,166 - ♪ HEAD, SHOULDER, KNEES, AND TOES ♪ 277 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:15,968 ♪ KNEES AND TOES 278 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,339 ♪ AND HIS EYES AND HIS EARS - OH, MY GOD. 279 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,367 - ♪ AND HIS MOUTH AND NOSE - NO! 280 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,172 - ♪ YOUR SON IS JUST MUSH NOW - [sobs] 281 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,144 - ♪ SO G--MAKE ANOTHER BOY 282 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,513 [phone ringing] - HELLO, TRIPTANK. 283 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,781 - [on phone] HI, THIS IS RICKY THE ROCKETSHIP. 284 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,780 WHEN I SAID, "YES, YOU CAN DO THIS SKETCH," 285 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,482 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN PORTRAY ME 286 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:33,084 AS A [bleep] HOMICIDAL KILLER. THIS IS BULLSHIT! 287 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,916 - SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE HAVING AN ISSUE NOW? 288 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,491 - IF I SEE THAT SKETCH ANYWHERE ON THAT SHOW, 289 00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,861 I'M COMING DOWN AND BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU 290 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,731 WITH AN ALUMINUM BASEBALL BAT. 291 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:43,829 I'M STARTING AT YOUR HEAD, 292 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,100 THEN WORKING MY WAY DOWN TO YOUR RIBCAGE, 293 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,069 AND THEN YOUR KNEES, YOUR ANKLES. 294 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,028 I'M NOT EVEN GONNA MISS YOUR BABY [bleep] TOE! 295 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,996 [fire engine siren blaring] 296 00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,848 - ♪ THREE ALIENS CAME FROM THE SKY ♪ 297 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,447 ♪ THE GALACTIC COUNCIL SENT THEM ♪ 298 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,619 all: ♪ AND HERE'S THE REASON WHY ♪ 299 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:08,347 - ♪ THE MISSION IS TO STUDY EARTH'S MOST AVERAGE GU-UY ♪ 300 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,415 - AH! all: ♪ TO SEE IF HUMANS 301 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,862 ♪ ARE WORTH SAVING OR IF EVERYONE HAS TO DIE ♪ 302 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:15,629 - WAIT, WHAT? 303 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,399 I SEE. 304 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,099 UH-HUH. [phone beep] 305 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:21,901 [sobbing] 306 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:25,472 - LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GOT A CASE OF "THE FROWNSIES." 307 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,242 - IT'S NOT "THE FROWNSIES," OKAY? 308 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,610 MY MOM WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL CANCER! 309 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,580 - OH, WE CAN CURE THAT, NO PROBLEM. 310 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,479 FOR US, THAT'S LIKE THE SNIFFLES. 311 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,111 - REALLY? - YOU'RE IN LUCK, 312 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,676 BECAUSE OUR ALIEN SEMEN... 313 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,184 - UH-HUH. - HAS THESE SPECIAL ENZYMES 314 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,446 IN IT, AND THEY'LL FIX YOUR MOM RIGHT UP. 315 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,494 - OH, GOD. OKAY, WELL, WHAT DO WE DO? 316 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,320 W-WE PUT IT IN A PILL, OR SOMETHING? 317 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:49,085 - GOSH, YOU'RE BAD AT GUESSING, JEFF. 318 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:55,173 - SO--[coughs] HOW EXACTLY DOES THIS WORK? 319 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,038 - OKAY, THIS IS--THIS IS GONNA SOUND INSANE, MOM, 320 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,868 BUT, UH, CHIEF WINDFEATHER HERE... 321 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,073 - HELLO. - HE, UH, HAS SPECIAL POWERS. 322 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,236 YOU KNOW, LIKE BUFFALO SPIRIT, AND STUFF LIKE THAT. 323 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,046 - UH-HUH. - BUT REALLY, 324 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:10,277 TO USE THESE POWERS TO THEIR FULL POTENTIAL, 325 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,423 HE HAS TO BE VERY, VERY CLOSE TO YOU-- 326 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,990 INSIDE OF YOU ACTUALLY, AND, UH, YOU KNOW, 327 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,989 WHAT HE'S GONNA DO TO YOU, IT'S GONNA SEEM A LOT LIKE SEX, 328 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,663 BUT IT'S NOT SEX AT ALL. 329 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,561 IT'S JUST AN ANCIENT, ANCIENT THERAPY 330 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:28,334 THAT IS GUARANTEED TO WORK. 331 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:32,195 SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, MOM? 332 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,135 - WELL, IT COULDN'T BE WORSE THAN CHEMO. 333 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,141 - [grunting] 334 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,214 - [whispering] WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE? 335 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,983 - HUH, THAT IS MORE STUBBORN THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, 336 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,783 I'LL BE HONEST. - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 337 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:45,754 - UH, HOW DO I, UH-- 338 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:49,552 OH, A BOWLING BALL HAS THREE HOLES IN IT, RIGHT? 339 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,516 - YES. - OKAY, 340 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:54,763 SO IMAGINE HOW HARD IT WOULD BE TO BOWL A GOOD GAME 341 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,401 WITH JUST ONE FINGER. - WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 342 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,927 - I NEED MY OTHER TWO FINGERS SO WE CAN GIVE HER 343 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,603 THE FULL TRIPLE-INJECTION TREATMENT. 344 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,102 GUYS! 345 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,804 - [shuddering] OH. 346 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:11,210 [all grunting] 347 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,881 - HMPH! GUYS, THIS IS A MISTAKE. 348 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,980 I SHOULD'VE-- - GOOD NEWS, JEFF-- 349 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,051 NO, GREAT NEWS! - WE DID IT. 350 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,520 - [laughing] OH, THANK GOD! THAT'S AMAZING! 351 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,919 - SHE'LL NEVER GET CANKER SORES AGAIN! 352 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:23,963 - WHAT? - IT'S FUNNY, 353 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,387 YOU GUYS THINK THEY'RE SUCH A BIG DEAL. FOR US-- 354 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,363 - SHE DIDN'T HAVE CANKER SORES, YOU [bleep] IDIOTS! 355 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,901 SHE HAD CANCER! CAN-CER! - [gasps] 356 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,727 - WELL, THE ONLY CURE FOR THAT IS THE TRIPLE FIST. 357 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:35,704 - NO! 358 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,402 [all humming] [ethereal vibration] 359 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,095 - OHH. 360 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,535 - WHOA. - HONEY, IT'S ME. 361 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,811 HOW YOU FEELING? 362 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,939 - I FEEL AMAZING. 363 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:48,575 - WOW! YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE. 364 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,651 HEY, LISTEN, I GOT A BUM HIP. 365 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,449 YOU THINK YOU COULD WORK SOME OF YOUR MAGIC ON ME SOMETIME? 366 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,823 [polka music] - ♪ AH, HA HA HA HA HA 367 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,222 ♪ AH, HA HA HA HA 368 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,223 ♪ AH, HA HA - ♪ HEY, HEY 369 00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:02,125 - ♪ OH, HO HO - ♪ HEY, HEY 370 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,558 [cheers and applause] 371 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:08,033 - LET THE TOURNAMENT OF FIGHTING STYLES...BEGIN! 372 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,874 [cheers and applause] 373 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:10,669 ROUND ONE. 374 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:15,940 IRON SHOGUN VERSUS THE SHADOW WARRIOR. 375 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,782 [cheers and applause] 376 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:21,247 THE SHADOW WARRIOR. 377 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:22,807 - [coughs] 378 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,146 - THE SHADOW-- - WHERE'S THE [bleep] 379 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,880 SHADOW WARRIOR? - I DON'T KNOW, HE CONFIRMED. 380 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,486 - AH, GOOD, SO YOU TALKED TO HIM. 381 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,558 - UH, EMAIL. - EMAIL? YOU HAVE TO CALL. 382 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,658 [bleep]. OKAY, OKAY, JUST SWITCH THE SCHEDULE AROUND. 383 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,501 HAVE HIM FIGHT ZUN-MAI. - ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE. 384 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,297 - ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE? 385 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,328 UGH! WHAT ABOUT CROCODILE? - NO. 386 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,704 - LEROY SMAX? - NUH-UH. 387 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,902 - DANNY HERO? - NADA. 388 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,973 - BLOOD NINJA? - NO. 389 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:45,971 - YOSHIKO? - NAH. 390 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:46,742 - CYBORG? - NOPE. 391 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,110 - WHAT'S HIS NAME, THE [bleep] MONKEY KUNG-FU GUY. 392 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:49,969 - SORRY. - YOU CAN'T HOLD 393 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,836 A MYSTERIOUS, UNDERGROUND MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT 394 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,506 WITH ONE GUY! 395 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,283 - DON'T I, LIKE, WIN BY DEFAULT, OR WHATEVER? 396 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,052 [crowd booing] - GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF 397 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,821 AROUND HERE. [phone ringing] 398 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:00,619 [crowd booing] 399 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,550 - [on phone] HELLO? - [chuckling] LEROY SMAX. 400 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,586 HOW'S IT GOING, MAN? IT'S YAO-ZHANG. 401 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,632 - YO, WHAT'S UP? - YEAH, SO WE WERE JUST HAVING 402 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,697 THIS WHOLE TOURNAMENT TO PROVE THE BEST FIGHTING STYLE THING, 403 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,527 AND WE WERE REALLY HOPING-- - YEAH, SORRY, MAN, I WOULD, 404 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,903 BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M GETTING REVENGE 405 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,571 AGAINST THE SHAOLIN WARRIOR WHO KILLED MY BROTHER. 406 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,300 - REALLY? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING? 407 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,136 YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING THAT? 408 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,041 - YEP, GOTTA GO. [video game fighting grunts] 409 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,743 - WELL, 'CAUSE I--HELLO? [dial tone] 410 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,084 GOD DAMN IT! 411 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,549 [dialing beeps] 412 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,577 [phone ringing] - YELLO? 413 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:32,381 - BLOOD NINJA, MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT ON DRAGON ISLAND. 414 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,885 WAITING FOR YOU, BUDDY. WHERE ARE YOU? 415 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,487 - OH, SHIT. THAT WAS TODAY? I CAN'T. 416 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,789 I'M IN CONNECTICUT WITH MY KIDS. [baby babbling] 417 00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:40,563 [beep] - ASSHOLE! 418 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,390 OKAY, I KNOW I CAN GET YOSHIKO TO COMMIT. 419 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,526 SHE'S ALWAYS HAD, LIKE, A THING FOR ME. 420 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,633 [dialing tones] 421 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,895 - OOH! [panting] 422 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,644 [phone ringing] 423 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:53,869 UGH! 424 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:54,413 [beep] 425 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,437 [crowd booing] - COME ON, MAN, 426 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,872 HE'S GOT TO FIGHT SOMEBODY, OTHERWISE, 427 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,436 WE LEGALLY HAVE TO REFUND EVERYONE'S ADMISSION. 428 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,806 I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, MAN. 429 00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,914 I SPENT IT ALL ON THIS [bleep] THRONE! 430 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:06,376 OH, GOD, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MY PARENTS. 431 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:10,416 - WAIT! MASTER YAO-ZHANG, CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE? 432 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,193 [cheers and applause] 433 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,462 - HEY, DID SOMEBODY ORDER A PIZZA? 434 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,031 UGH! 435 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,488 [grunts] [cheers and applause] 436 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,526 - IRON SHOGUN WINS THE TOURNAMENT! 437 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,502 [cheers and applause] - [laughs] 438 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,030 OH, I AM SORRY, TRAFFIC WAS JUST-- 439 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:27,306 AH, COME ON! I'M, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES LATE. 440 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:35,483 [applause] 441 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,082 - MOM, DAD, 442 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:38,182 I FOUND THIS IN YOUR ROOM, AND I HAVE A QUESTION. 443 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:40,554 - [chuckles] HONEY, I THINK IT'S TIME WE HAVE 444 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,093 THAT BIRDS AND BEES TALK. - OH, DEAR LORD. 445 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,419 [laugh track] - BUT DAD, I LEARNED 446 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,964 ALL ABOUT THE BIRDS AND BEES AND OTHER WILDLIFE 447 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,060 WHILE IN THE SCOUTS. [laugh track] 448 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,661 - NO, SWEETIE, THIS IS DIFFERENT. 449 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,863 - YES, SON. 450 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:55,225 WHEN A MOMMY BIRD AND A DADDY BEE LOVE EACH OTHER, 451 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,565 THEY WILL COME TOGETHER AND MAKE A BABY. 452 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,570 - HOWEVER, SOMETIMES, 453 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,041 THE BIRDS LIKE TO STUNG BY THE BEES FOR FUN. 454 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,010 [laugh track] - OTHER TIMES, 455 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,308 THE BEES LIKE TO BE CHOKED BY THE BIRDS. 456 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,350 - SOMETIMES, THE BIRD AND BEE WILL SWITCH ROLES... 457 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,747 [laugh track] WHERE THE BEE GETS STUNG 458 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,678 BY A FAKE STINGER THAT THE BIRD WEARS. 459 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,753 [laugh track] - THEN THERE ARE TIMES 460 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:16,122 WHEN THE BIRD WEARS A MASK, WHERE SHE HAS TO TRUST THE BEE 461 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,062 TO DO THINGS THAT HURT IN THE BEGINNING, 462 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,727 BUT IN THE END, FEEL AMAZING. [laugh track] 463 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,187 - OTHER TIMES, A BEE WILL HOOK UP WITH ANOTHER BEE, 464 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,656 BUT IT'S COOL, BECAUSE IT WAS IN A HOT TUB. 465 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,195 - SOMETIMES, A BIRD LIKES TO GET STUNG 466 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:33,001 BY MANY DIFFERENT BEES IN A ROW, WHILE SHE WAS IN COLLEGE. 467 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,566 - SOMETIMES, THE BEE GOES TO VEGAS 468 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,314 AND SLEEPS WITH A STRANGE BIRD. 469 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,309 THEN HE FINDS OUT THAT THE BIRD HAS A STINGER. 470 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,452 [laugh track] THAT BEE HAD TO KILL THAT BIRD 471 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,407 AND LEAVE THE BODY OUTSIDE THE CITY. 472 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,446 - UH-OH. - SOMETIMES, THE-- 473 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,521 - MOM? DAD? 474 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,060 ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES? 475 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,217 [both chuckle] [laugh track] 476 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:57,826 [cheers and applause] 477 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,430 - OKAY, FINE, GO AHEAD, TELL ME. 478 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,232 - OKAY, HERE WE GO, MAN. SO PICTURE THIS. 479 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,695 ALL OF A SUDDEN, A CUTE, LITTLE UNICORN 480 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,143 DROPS IN OUT OF THE SKY ONTO THIS LITTLE CLIFF, 481 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:08,209 AND HE'S STANDING ON THE EDGE, TERRIFIED. 482 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,408 THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH THIS CHAINSAW PIT 483 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,580 WITH SWORDS AND KNIVES AND BLADES SWINGING ALL AROUND, 484 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,810 SO HE SUCKS IT UP LIKE A TRUE UNICORN MAN WOULD, 485 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,516 HE JUMPS OVER THE CHAINSAWS, 486 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,018 FINALLY MAKES IT TO THE OTHER SIDE. 487 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,149 CLEAR OUT OF NOWHERE COMES THIS VIKING SON OF A BITCH, 488 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,055 AND KICKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF, AND HE FALLS DOWN INTO THE SPIKES, 489 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,558 DEAD MEAT, GUTS ALL OVER. POOR UNICORN. 490 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,690 - THAT IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST IDEA EVER. 491 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:33,056 IT WOULD NEVER GET MADE. THAT SHOW WOULD NEVER GET MADE. 492 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:37,126 - [death metal screaming] ♪ THE LAST DEAD UNICORN! 493 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,215 - [grunts] - [screams] 494 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,059 - I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON, CHILDREN, 495 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:07,832 JUST IN A MUCH, MUCH HOTTER PLACE. 36411

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