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Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:00,992 --> 00:00:04,366
my family had plenty of
missteps when it came to love.
3
00:00:06,244 --> 00:00:07,938
But for one magic moment,
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00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,897
it seemed like the gods of love
were smiling on all of us.
5
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:13,367
I was with Brea, Barry had Ren,
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and Erica and Geoff
were as strong as ever.
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Even my dad's friend Bill Lewis
had found someone.
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My angel, Dolores,
I promise to cherish you,
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and to listen to you recount your dreams
10
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no matter how dumb they are,
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00:00:26,149 --> 00:00:29,717
and to smile when I eat
what you call a taco salad.
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00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,719
Why would you toss a pear in there?
13
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This is a courthouse.
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We don't have time for vows.
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- Is your witness here?
- Mur-man, you're up.
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And I gotta tell you, I'm ready,
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except I'm not putting my hand
on a Bible.
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00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:39,894
I just need your signature.
19
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Stop! Nobody sign a damn thing!
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00:00:42,432 --> 00:00:43,998
Oh, no. She found us. How?
21
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This morning Murray says
he's going out for a walk,
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and naturally I assumed
he's terminally ill
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or having an affair, so I followed him.
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A walk, Murray?
25
00:00:52,508 --> 00:00:54,342
That's a lie as lazy
as the man who told it.
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00:00:54,344 --> 00:00:57,144
And how dare the two of you
try to sneak off and elope?!
27
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I'm sorry. Is this any of your business?
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Silly Dolores.
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Bill is my husband's best friend,
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which makes him my best friend,
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which makes this all about me.
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That does not track.
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Which is why we didn't
tell you about it.
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We knew you'd want
to take over the wedding
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and do something crazy.
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All I wanted to do
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was throw them a grand wedding
for the ages.
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I just need six months
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and a quarter of a million dollars.
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We leave for Tahiti on Sunday.
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Challenge accepted.
The wedding is tomorrow!
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Please, Bill, just say "I do"
and sign the paper.
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Then she can't touch us.
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Dolores, your wedding day
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is the most important day of your life.
46
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Murray and I will never forget ours.
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- Yeah, it was the dead of winter.
- July 3rd.
48
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- There was a chill in the air.
- The cake melted.
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Memories. The slide show of my mind.
50
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You could have what we have.
51
00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:42,957
Ooh, and we'll have it in the backyard.
52
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But nobody uses the john in the house
53
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'cause we got bushes.
54
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That's both a kind
and wildly ungenerous offer.
55
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But no one can plan
an entire wedding in a day.
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Watch me.
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Whee!
58
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That was my birth certificate.
59
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Life-changing news, everyone.
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00:01:59,409 --> 00:02:00,875
We're going on safari!
61
00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:02,877
And I'm gonna walk across
some rocks on a river
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00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:04,412
only to realize they're hippos.
63
00:02:04,414 --> 00:02:05,513
I have no information,
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00:02:05,515 --> 00:02:06,714
but I'm positive that's all wrong.
65
00:02:06,716 --> 00:02:08,082
In the next 24 hours,
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00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,818
you all are gonna help me
plan a wedding.
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- Yay!
- Zero chance.
68
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- No, thanks.
- In Africa?
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00:02:12,889 --> 00:02:14,155
You have no choice!
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00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:16,690
And it's gonna be a ridiculous,
over-the-top-affair.
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00:02:16,692 --> 00:02:18,859
This is gonna be a disaster,
so I'm bringing Ren.
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She's a foxy wildcard
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that'll lighten up this snooze-fest.
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00:02:21,531 --> 00:02:23,364
If he's bringing Ren,
then I'm bringing Brea.
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00:02:23,366 --> 00:02:25,199
No guests. They cost money.
76
00:02:25,201 --> 00:02:26,367
But it's a wedding,
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- and I'm obviously bringing Geoff.
- Who?
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This isn't because your father
doesn't know my name.
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00:02:30,058 --> 00:02:31,772
It's just weddings get me going.
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You know, the bride
in the dress of her dreams,
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the promise of forever,
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the dad in the wheelchair
who's standing up
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00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:38,412
just for that last little
walk down the aisle.
84
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This is who you want to bring? Really?
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00:02:40,183 --> 00:02:41,715
Everyone's invited, Murray.
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00:02:41,717 --> 00:02:42,783
Even hysterical Geoff.
87
00:02:42,785 --> 00:02:44,118
Who's getting married, again?
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00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,187
Your dad's friend Bill and some rando.
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Oh, it's gonna be so much fun!
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Ooh, it's like
we're all getting married.
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Don't forget me!
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
96
00:03:01,702 --> 00:03:05,105
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
97
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It was November 4th, 1980-something,
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00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,577
and my mom was attempting
to do the impossible...
99
00:03:09,579 --> 00:03:12,947
plan an entire wedding
with less than 24-hours notice.
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00:03:12,949 --> 00:03:14,215
We got here as soon as we could.
101
00:03:14,217 --> 00:03:15,282
What happened to Murray?
102
00:03:15,284 --> 00:03:16,917
Did he take a header down the stairs
103
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,285
because his feet are so swollen?
104
00:03:18,287 --> 00:03:20,254
Are his injuries consistent
with blunt-force trauma
105
00:03:20,256 --> 00:03:21,522
and you have a rock-solid alibi,
106
00:03:21,524 --> 00:03:23,023
but we know in our hearts it was you?
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Close.
108
00:03:24,063 --> 00:03:26,260
He's barely helping me
throw a wedding by tomorrow.
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00:03:26,262 --> 00:03:27,294
Dang it, Beverly!
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00:03:27,296 --> 00:03:30,564
I had a tennis lesson with Lars. Lars!
111
00:03:30,566 --> 00:03:33,567
Good. Channel that weird,
middle-aged energy into this.
112
00:03:33,569 --> 00:03:36,604
Ginzy, I need enough flowers
for a presidential funeral.
113
00:03:36,606 --> 00:03:38,272
Linda, I need you to cater a meal
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for a hundred picky eaters.
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Essie...
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prove yourself useful.
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00:03:41,844 --> 00:03:43,765
I once went to a wedding
that had a really fun psychic.
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Oh, she was a hoot.
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Did she predict how useless
you'd be in this moment?
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00:03:46,816 --> 00:03:47,982
Yoo-hoo!
121
00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:49,316
Of course, my mom didn't account
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00:03:49,318 --> 00:03:50,584
for her rival yenta,
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who could smell a wedding being planned
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from a mile away.
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Jane Bales.
126
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:56,790
To what do I owe this displeasure?
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00:03:56,792 --> 00:03:57,925
I just popped over
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00:03:57,927 --> 00:03:59,994
because I heard
you were planning a wedding.
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00:03:59,996 --> 00:04:01,896
Based on the interior of your home,
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00:04:01,898 --> 00:04:03,097
I wanted to stop you.
131
00:04:03,099 --> 00:04:05,499
You will plan this wedding
over my dead body.
132
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:06,800
I introduced Bill and Dolores.
133
00:04:06,802 --> 00:04:08,235
I don't want you screwing this up.
134
00:04:08,237 --> 00:04:10,538
Please. I am the best party planner
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00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:13,240
in Montgomery County,
Southern New Jersey,
136
00:04:13,242 --> 00:04:17,478
and the entire Eastern seaboard
south of Delaware.
137
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,380
Well, that's impossible because I am.
138
00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:21,849
And the rest of the U.S.
and Puerto Rico and Guam.
139
00:04:21,851 --> 00:04:23,517
I once threw myself a baby shower
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00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:24,752
while I was giving birth.
141
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:27,421
I threw a quinceañera
for a 50-year-old white guy.
142
00:04:27,423 --> 00:04:29,623
It was super weird, but it was his day.
143
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:32,026
I once threw a Cinco de Mayo party
144
00:04:32,028 --> 00:04:33,360
on Ocho de Octubre.
145
00:04:33,362 --> 00:04:35,629
I threw a surprise party for myself,
146
00:04:35,631 --> 00:04:37,598
and I had no idea.
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Thanks, but no, thanks.
I have it covered.
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00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:40,601
Really? What have you done so far?
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00:04:40,603 --> 00:04:41,535
Just this.
150
00:04:42,905 --> 00:04:45,573
Well, it's been three minutes.
Why don't I see results?
151
00:04:45,575 --> 00:04:47,875
Because you ask too much of us?
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00:04:47,877 --> 00:04:49,209
Err! Wrong answer, Ginzy!
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00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:51,745
Now move your puckered poopers
outta here
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00:04:51,747 --> 00:04:53,914
and come back with a wedding!
155
00:04:55,151 --> 00:04:57,585
Well, at least you're working on
your best-man speech.
156
00:04:57,587 --> 00:04:59,720
No, I'm writing a very angry letter
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to the moron who almost parked
in front of our driveway.
158
00:05:02,224 --> 00:05:04,825
Dammit, Murray! You only have
two responsibilities!
159
00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:06,527
- Our kids?
- We have three kids.
160
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:08,262
I'm talking about the wedding.
161
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,997
You have to write your best-man speech
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00:05:09,999 --> 00:05:10,965
and get chairs.
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- Got it. Chicken fingers.
- Murray!
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Let me give you
a little piece of advice...
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If you want something done right,
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00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:17,025
you do it yourself.
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While my dad dodged his wedding duties,
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00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:21,875
we got hit with a long list of chores.
169
00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:24,411
I can't believe Mom
would actually ask us
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00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:25,746
to do manual labor.
171
00:05:25,748 --> 00:05:27,014
What even is this thing?
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00:05:27,016 --> 00:05:29,683
My God, you know nothing.
It's called a yard fork.
173
00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:31,819
Now it's a Kenpo thrusting lance!
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00:05:31,821 --> 00:05:34,088
Hello, rambunctious children.
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I am here for the wedding.
176
00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:37,424
Am I in the right place?
177
00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:39,860
Sweet "Witches of Eastwick"!
It's Karen English,
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00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:42,463
one of Philadelphia's
more popular radio occultists.
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00:05:42,465 --> 00:05:44,431
You might recognize this side of my face
180
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,166
from various vandalized bench ads.
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00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,267
Tell us, enchantress,
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00:05:47,269 --> 00:05:49,103
what greatness is in store for me?
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00:05:49,105 --> 00:05:50,514
The spirits are telling me... meh.
184
00:05:50,539 --> 00:05:52,706
- Huh?
- Ooh, but I am registering
185
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:55,542
a negative romantic complication.
186
00:05:57,178 --> 00:06:00,080
There is a couple here
who will not last the night.
187
00:06:00,082 --> 00:06:01,348
Someone's getting murdered?
188
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:02,816
No.
189
00:06:02,818 --> 00:06:05,052
But there is a romantic
relationship in peril.
190
00:06:05,054 --> 00:06:06,553
Well, it's not mine.
191
00:06:06,555 --> 00:06:09,390
My boyfriend is so loving and devoted,
192
00:06:09,392 --> 00:06:11,692
even though he just
recently chose to move out.
193
00:06:11,694 --> 00:06:12,760
I see.
194
00:06:12,762 --> 00:06:14,628
And Brea and I are solid as a rock...
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00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:16,296
if half the rock was super attractive
196
00:06:16,298 --> 00:06:18,432
and the other half was wildly insecure.
197
00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:19,667
- Hmm.
- Ha-ha!
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00:06:19,669 --> 00:06:21,402
Karen English thinks
your love is garbage.
199
00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:22,469
Well, what about you
200
00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,471
and your unlikely partnership with Ren?
201
00:06:24,473 --> 00:06:26,440
I agree. Ren is a ten.
202
00:06:26,442 --> 00:06:29,043
But, as you all can see, I'm an eleven.
203
00:06:29,045 --> 00:06:30,244
Together, we are blackjack.
204
00:06:30,246 --> 00:06:33,247
All I know is that someone
is doomed here tonight.
205
00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:35,683
A reckoning is coming.
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00:06:35,685 --> 00:06:37,084
I am never wrong.
207
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,324
Is there a trick with this?
208
00:06:44,326 --> 00:06:46,432
- Yeah, just jiggle the thingy.
- I am jiggling it.
209
00:06:46,457 --> 00:06:47,995
- Jiggle it harder.
- Yeah, you gotta give the thing...
210
00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:49,618
- ...a good jiggle.
- I'm jiggling the thingy!
211
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,597
Yeah, just a little...
212
00:06:50,599 --> 00:06:52,433
- I got it.
- Oh.
213
00:06:52,435 --> 00:06:54,401
I'm never wrong.
214
00:06:56,739 --> 00:06:58,138
I'm never wrong.
215
00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:02,109
As Karen English had us
worried about a break-up,
216
00:07:02,111 --> 00:07:04,826
my mom was trying to keep
the wedding from falling apart.
217
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:05,846
What the hell is this?
218
00:07:05,848 --> 00:07:08,615
An elegant centerpiece
of tulips and begonias.
219
00:07:08,617 --> 00:07:10,084
You expect someone to look at this
220
00:07:10,086 --> 00:07:11,351
and feel anything but sick?
221
00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:12,186
Maybe whimsy?
222
00:07:12,188 --> 00:07:13,520
Beverly, I do think
223
00:07:13,522 --> 00:07:14,855
you're pushing us a little hard here.
224
00:07:14,857 --> 00:07:17,591
I already made 350 cucumber sandwiches.
225
00:07:17,593 --> 00:07:19,026
I think that's enough.
226
00:07:19,028 --> 00:07:20,627
Yeah, and I agreed to iron napkins,
227
00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:21,662
not whatever these are.
228
00:07:21,664 --> 00:07:23,664
Those are Murray's formal intimates,
229
00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:26,600
and you will put that iron
wherever I tell you to.
230
00:07:26,602 --> 00:07:27,868
Now, getting rid of all this.
231
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:29,136
We're gonna start over.
232
00:07:29,138 --> 00:07:30,437
I am done.
233
00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:33,006
Good! 'Cause despite
your mediocre efforts,
234
00:07:33,008 --> 00:07:34,475
you've really set me back.
235
00:07:34,477 --> 00:07:35,709
I'm right behind you, Linda.
236
00:07:35,711 --> 00:07:37,411
I can't believe I wasted my morning
237
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,146
creasing your husband's butt rags.
238
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,616
And I said some hateful words
in the bathroom to myself,
239
00:07:42,618 --> 00:07:45,052
so I need to go apologize
to my children.
240
00:07:45,054 --> 00:07:46,520
Well, good riddance!
241
00:07:46,522 --> 00:07:48,822
I'll just draw a frown
on a sack of flour
242
00:07:48,824 --> 00:07:49,890
to replace you!
243
00:07:49,892 --> 00:07:51,525
Oh.
244
00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:52,993
Too bad your friends are gone
245
00:07:52,995 --> 00:07:54,795
'cause I got one for the win column.
246
00:07:54,797 --> 00:07:55,963
I got us chairs.
247
00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:57,531
Oh, I knew you'd come through.
248
00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:58,665
Daddy does it again.
249
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,567
So now that I've done my part,
250
00:08:00,569 --> 00:08:03,504
I'm gonna go to my natural
surroundings of the den.
251
00:08:03,506 --> 00:08:04,738
Uh, wait, Murray.
252
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:06,740
- Yeah?
- What am I looking at?
253
00:08:06,742 --> 00:08:09,676
That's one of one hundred
premium wedding chairs.
254
00:08:09,678 --> 00:08:12,312
- This chair is for a child.
- Nah. It's perfect.
255
00:08:12,314 --> 00:08:14,248
Well, if it's so perfect,
why don't you sit down.
256
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,083
Because I prefer to stand.
257
00:08:16,085 --> 00:08:18,705
I like being on the balls of my feet,
ready to pounce.
258
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,787
Sit!
259
00:08:21,056 --> 00:08:22,756
All right. There you go.
260
00:08:22,758 --> 00:08:24,758
Well, that's, uh...
that's quite comfortable.
261
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,994
I like being so close to my knees.
262
00:08:26,996 --> 00:08:29,029
You can sit that way
through the whole ceremony?
263
00:08:29,031 --> 00:08:30,664
I'm in a great deal of pain.
264
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:33,066
Dammit, Murray, you failed me,
like everyone else!
265
00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:34,635
What am I supposed to do now?!
266
00:08:34,637 --> 00:08:37,004
I'm gonna tell you what I tell our kids.
267
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:39,173
There's nothing wrong with quitting.
268
00:08:39,175 --> 00:08:40,707
I'll take care of the chairs.
269
00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,210
You just go and finish writing
your best-man speech.
270
00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:44,378
Hey, don't worry. I'm gonna wing it.
271
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,713
My mom's party crew was crumbling.
272
00:08:46,715 --> 00:08:48,448
She knew there was only one yenta
273
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,784
who could help her get
this wedding back on track.
274
00:08:50,786 --> 00:08:51,752
I...
275
00:08:51,754 --> 00:08:52,833
Failed miserably
276
00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:54,760
and inevitably had
to come to me for help?
277
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,068
- It's just...
- You couldn't pull off
278
00:08:56,092 --> 00:08:57,292
a one-day wedding by yourself
279
00:08:57,293 --> 00:08:58,525
and you needed me all along?
280
00:08:58,527 --> 00:08:59,927
- That's...
- True.
281
00:08:59,929 --> 00:09:01,728
And admitting your mistake
is the first step
282
00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,831
in the lengthy apology you owe me.
283
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,399
Well, save it.
284
00:09:05,401 --> 00:09:06,967
We have a wedding to throw.
285
00:09:10,372 --> 00:09:11,538
Come on.
286
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:13,407
As my mom and Jane Bales joined forces,
287
00:09:13,409 --> 00:09:15,876
the strength of our bonds
was about to be tested.
288
00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:17,010
Hey, guys. You ready?
289
00:09:17,012 --> 00:09:20,047
Almost. Let me just touch up
my lipstick.
290
00:09:20,049 --> 00:09:21,915
Because I smooched it off.
291
00:09:23,085 --> 00:09:24,251
I'll never get used to it.
292
00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:26,520
Geoff, you got
some extremely personal mail
293
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:27,721
that I obviously opened.
294
00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:28,989
Congrats.
295
00:09:28,991 --> 00:09:30,791
You got into the study-abroad
program in Spain.
296
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:32,226
- Oh, my God, really?!
- Yeah.
297
00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:33,627
The Spanish are awesome.
298
00:09:33,629 --> 00:09:35,829
They eat dinner at midnight,
fight bulls for fun,
299
00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,598
and even their babies kiss hello.
300
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,999
Wait, you're just gonna jet off
301
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:42,102
to a faraway land of fancy ham
and flamenco dancing?
302
00:09:42,104 --> 00:09:44,171
Oh, I-I mean, it's totally
not gonna happen.
303
00:09:44,173 --> 00:09:45,472
It was just a lark.
304
00:09:45,474 --> 00:09:47,507
A lark that totally panned out
in the most amazing way,
305
00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:48,508
but it's not happening.
306
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:50,310
Geoff, look at me.
307
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:51,578
You have to go.
308
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,347
Wait. You really want me to go?
309
00:09:53,349 --> 00:09:54,514
It's Spain!
310
00:09:54,516 --> 00:09:56,650
Or, as they call it, España.
311
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:58,318
Es-pa-ña! Huh?
312
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,786
Are we starting a chant or what?
313
00:09:59,788 --> 00:10:00,787
I don't think so.
314
00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:03,357
Madrid, Barcelona, Ibiza.
315
00:10:03,359 --> 00:10:05,025
You know your places. Nice.
316
00:10:05,027 --> 00:10:06,460
I'm gonna start the car.
317
00:10:06,462 --> 00:10:07,794
But you can't drive to Spain!
318
00:10:07,796 --> 00:10:09,129
It's across a whole ocean!
319
00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:11,298
- Damn it.
- Holy crap.
320
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,399
That mind witch was right.
321
00:10:12,401 --> 00:10:13,834
You and Geoff are dunzo.
322
00:10:13,836 --> 00:10:15,202
You don't know
what you're talking about.
323
00:10:15,204 --> 00:10:16,203
It's someone else.
324
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,938
Brea can't come to the wedding.
325
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,307
She's going to
her grandma's 70th in Hartford.
326
00:10:20,309 --> 00:10:21,375
Should I be worried?
327
00:10:21,377 --> 00:10:23,677
Hot dog, yes! Very worried.
328
00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:26,313
I thought you were gonna gently
reassure me I was being crazy.
329
00:10:26,315 --> 00:10:28,782
Do you know anything about
senior birthdays in Connecticut?
330
00:10:28,784 --> 00:10:30,284
Super sexy.
331
00:10:30,286 --> 00:10:31,919
That's why it's called
the Romance State.
332
00:10:31,921 --> 00:10:33,186
I think it's the Nutmeg State.
333
00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:34,721
You're thinking, but I'm knowing.
334
00:10:34,723 --> 00:10:37,324
Once you cross state lines,
anything goes.
335
00:10:37,326 --> 00:10:38,959
But they're just going
to the Holiday Inn.
336
00:10:38,961 --> 00:10:40,746
- Ouch.
- They have pools.
337
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:42,535
- Pools have boys.
- Boys meet Brea.
338
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,264
- Brea go bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
339
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,166
Oh, God! There is a pool!
340
00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:47,868
And a free New York Times every morning!
341
00:10:47,911 --> 00:10:49,169
That's what I'm saying.
342
00:10:49,171 --> 00:10:51,071
They really know
how to set a table for love.
343
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:52,239
Are we good to go?
344
00:10:53,682 --> 00:10:56,317
We are. Them? Not so much.
345
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,168
My mom had gotten
exactly what she needed
346
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,646
to pull off a one-day wedding...
347
00:11:01,671 --> 00:11:03,224
another Beverly Goldberg.
348
00:11:03,249 --> 00:11:05,279
Get me up to speed.
Where are we on food?
349
00:11:05,304 --> 00:11:06,570
- Unfinished.
- Chairs?
350
00:11:06,572 --> 00:11:07,804
- Tiny.
- Guest list?
351
00:11:07,806 --> 00:11:09,709
A real who's-who of nobodies.
352
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:10,966
I've worked with less.
353
00:11:10,991 --> 00:11:13,176
Yeah, but we still need music, a cake,
354
00:11:13,178 --> 00:11:15,045
an officiant, a videographer,
355
00:11:15,047 --> 00:11:17,214
and a huge team of
hair and makeup for us...
356
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:18,909
and possibly Dolores if there's time.
357
00:11:18,951 --> 00:11:20,283
So a whole wedding?
358
00:11:20,285 --> 00:11:21,351
Done.
359
00:11:21,353 --> 00:11:22,385
Your daughter's musical, right?
360
00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:23,553
Oh, don't bother.
361
00:11:23,555 --> 00:11:25,489
My children have already
refused to help me.
362
00:11:25,491 --> 00:11:26,890
That's adorable.
363
00:11:26,892 --> 00:11:28,825
You! You're in a dumb
singing group, right?
364
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:30,260
Yeah, but I'm not in the mood...
365
00:11:30,262 --> 00:11:31,761
I don't care. You're booked.
366
00:11:31,763 --> 00:11:33,363
I'm only saying yes because I'm afraid.
367
00:11:33,365 --> 00:11:34,598
Not afraid enough.
368
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,833
Scoot. Go. Knees high!
369
00:11:36,835 --> 00:11:38,568
Holy crap!
370
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:40,770
You were hateful to my child!
371
00:11:40,772 --> 00:11:42,506
And it was beautiful to watch.
372
00:11:42,508 --> 00:11:44,074
Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.
373
00:11:44,076 --> 00:11:46,576
You can be this horrible, too.
374
00:11:48,647 --> 00:11:51,548
While I am an ordained deacon,
375
00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:54,451
uh, I'd like to sit down
with the bride and groom
376
00:11:54,453 --> 00:11:55,585
and really get to know them.
377
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:57,420
He's as bald as a misshapen egg,
378
00:11:57,422 --> 00:11:58,722
and she doesn't seem to mind.
379
00:11:58,724 --> 00:11:59,990
You're all caught up.
380
00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:02,459
Your angry eyes make me feel
like I know them enough.
381
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:05,595
Oh, no!
382
00:12:05,597 --> 00:12:07,264
A fit, middle-aged lady on my bed.
383
00:12:07,266 --> 00:12:08,999
I saw this movie with Barry.
384
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,901
Flattered but spoken for.
385
00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:12,536
Get your head out of the gutter,
camera dork.
386
00:12:12,538 --> 00:12:14,337
I prefer film aficionado.
387
00:12:14,339 --> 00:12:16,139
You are gonna point your Kodak
388
00:12:16,141 --> 00:12:18,742
and chronicle the nuptials
of Bill and Dolores.
389
00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:20,277
I barely know who those people are,
390
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:22,579
and I'm kind of at a crossroads
in my own relationship.
391
00:12:22,581 --> 00:12:24,047
Everything you're saying is ridiculous
392
00:12:24,049 --> 00:12:25,448
because you're a child.
393
00:12:26,384 --> 00:12:27,384
And what is this room?
394
00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:31,988
Ginzy, I wasn't very nice earlier,
395
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:33,490
so this will come as no shock.
396
00:12:33,492 --> 00:12:35,325
But I'm gonna need you to bring me
397
00:12:35,327 --> 00:12:36,493
all your white roses,
398
00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:38,185
you tremendous piece of [bleep].
399
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:42,036
You know, words like
that are why we canceled HBO!
400
00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:43,967
I'll have them here by 1:45.
401
00:12:44,703 --> 00:12:46,503
Hello, I need service!
402
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,774
I'm next forever, so why don't you
403
00:12:50,776 --> 00:12:52,275
and your corned beefcovered friends
404
00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:53,877
start making me some finger sandwiches
405
00:12:53,879 --> 00:12:55,312
and a six-tiered wedding cake.
406
00:12:55,314 --> 00:12:57,280
- We only do meats.
- And now cakes.
407
00:12:57,282 --> 00:13:00,116
And I need you to take in
the seams of all these pants.
408
00:13:00,118 --> 00:13:01,985
Okay.
409
00:13:01,987 --> 00:13:04,221
Yep, my mom and Jane were a dream team,
410
00:13:04,223 --> 00:13:06,823
but I was in a relationship nightmare.
411
00:13:06,825 --> 00:13:08,291
Pick up, pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up, pick up.
412
00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:09,926
Dammit! Answering machine!
413
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:11,328
Dude, you're doomed.
414
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:13,196
Leaving a message
won't get your lady back.
415
00:13:13,198 --> 00:13:15,420
Brea! It's Adam Goldberg
of Adam and Brea.
416
00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:16,500
It's already bad.
417
00:13:16,502 --> 00:13:18,635
I know you're headed off
to sexy Hartford,
418
00:13:18,637 --> 00:13:20,737
but I could use a pep talk
on where we stand.
419
00:13:20,739 --> 00:13:22,939
I mean, you could do whatever you want,
420
00:13:22,941 --> 00:13:24,674
but please don't do whatever you want.
421
00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,977
For the love of God,
stay out of that hotel pool!
422
00:13:26,979 --> 00:13:28,144
You're tanking it, bro.
423
00:13:28,146 --> 00:13:29,946
Just hang up while you're behind.
424
00:13:29,948 --> 00:13:33,116
Anyhoo, safe travels,
and please don't leave me.
425
00:13:33,118 --> 00:13:36,319
Oh, here comes my anxiety gas.
426
00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:37,854
Have I hung up yet?
427
00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:39,756
I think I nailed it.
428
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:42,392
You did not, but you can fix it.
429
00:13:42,394 --> 00:13:43,894
Just leave a few more messages
430
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:45,795
in the same tone of clumsy desperation.
431
00:13:45,797 --> 00:13:47,797
- You're not a good person.
- I know.
432
00:13:47,799 --> 00:13:50,734
Yeah, Barry had me worked up
about my relationship,
433
00:13:50,736 --> 00:13:53,537
but I wasn't the only one
trying to work things out.
434
00:13:53,539 --> 00:13:55,005
Hey, whatcha doin'?
435
00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:56,573
Hiding from Jane Bales.
436
00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:57,841
She's a scary lady.
437
00:13:57,843 --> 00:13:59,376
I know. She made me the flower girl.
438
00:13:59,378 --> 00:14:01,511
I didn't even say yes,
but here's my basket of petals.
439
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:05,181
Look, about the whole
study-abroad thing...
440
00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:06,850
it kind of seemed like
you were super pumped
441
00:14:06,852 --> 00:14:08,518
- for me to go.
- So pumped!
442
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,986
You'd be okay with me leaving you, then?
443
00:14:09,988 --> 00:14:11,588
I guess that's what I'm saying.
444
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:12,789
Oh. Okay, then.
445
00:14:12,791 --> 00:14:13,994
I guess I should really consider it.
446
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,886
- Please don't!
- I am so confused.
447
00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:17,127
I know. I'm sorry.
448
00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:19,162
Of course I don't want you to go.
449
00:14:19,164 --> 00:14:20,964
But we just had this whole thing
450
00:14:20,966 --> 00:14:22,799
about how everything's on my terms,
451
00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:25,535
and this was my chance to
finally support what you want.
452
00:14:25,537 --> 00:14:27,771
But I can never leave you.
453
00:14:27,773 --> 00:14:29,005
But it's España.
454
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:31,341
You can eat paella
and watch children smoke.
455
00:14:31,343 --> 00:14:32,742
Everything I want is right here.
456
00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:34,077
Now you're laying it on a little thick.
457
00:14:34,079 --> 00:14:35,712
Just shut up and kiss the flower girl.
458
00:14:36,481 --> 00:14:37,547
Balls!
459
00:14:37,549 --> 00:14:38,848
You guys are okay?!
460
00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:40,350
Now it's definitely me.
461
00:14:40,352 --> 00:14:42,352
As the psychic's prediction
became clear,
462
00:14:42,354 --> 00:14:45,355
my mom and Jane Bales
had pulled off the impossible.
463
00:14:45,357 --> 00:14:47,857
In one day, they turned our backyard
464
00:14:47,859 --> 00:14:49,659
into a picture-perfect wedding venue.
465
00:14:49,661 --> 00:14:52,596
Hey, have you seen my, uh,
tie with the stain
466
00:14:52,598 --> 00:14:53,630
that looks like a stripe?
467
00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,065
I've got it right here.
468
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,533
Oh!
469
00:14:56,535 --> 00:14:58,268
And you also got big-boy chairs.
470
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:00,103
How 'bout that.
I pushed you to do better.
471
00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:01,771
Now maybe you can take care of something
472
00:15:01,773 --> 00:15:03,406
like your best-man duties?
473
00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:05,275
I think it's a little too late
for a bachelor party,
474
00:15:05,277 --> 00:15:07,477
- but I'll talk to Vic.
- No. Is your speech ready?
475
00:15:07,479 --> 00:15:08,712
- Well, yes.
- Where is it?
476
00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:09,980
Bingy, bingy.
477
00:15:09,982 --> 00:15:11,715
- So you didn't write it.
- No, I did not.
478
00:15:11,717 --> 00:15:13,783
Beverly, big problem.
479
00:15:13,785 --> 00:15:15,619
Bill has locked himself in the bathroom.
480
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:17,320
He says he doesn't want
to go through with it!
481
00:15:17,322 --> 00:15:19,389
Nobody panic. It's just cold feet.
482
00:15:19,391 --> 00:15:20,957
Murray will talk him down.
483
00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:21,958
Thank you, Murray!
484
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,293
What am I supposed to do?
485
00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,562
Maybe care about this wedding
for a freakin' second!
486
00:15:25,564 --> 00:15:27,364
I did at City Hall.
487
00:15:27,366 --> 00:15:28,898
But then you took over everything
488
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:29,933
and turned it into a circus.
489
00:15:29,935 --> 00:15:31,468
Circus?
490
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:33,303
Do you understand why I'm doing this?
491
00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:34,504
No, I don't.
492
00:15:34,506 --> 00:15:36,539
Murray, you know,
a wedding is not just about
493
00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:37,907
the two people getting married.
494
00:15:37,909 --> 00:15:40,810
It's a celebration of what
it means to be married...
495
00:15:40,812 --> 00:15:42,746
two people starting
their lives together,
496
00:15:42,748 --> 00:15:44,047
starting a family.
497
00:15:45,016 --> 00:15:46,916
Huh. I never thought of that.
498
00:15:46,918 --> 00:15:49,552
Well, I guess I shouldn't be
surprised that you didn't.
499
00:15:52,357 --> 00:15:55,725
I can't believe Brea's going
to the Holiday Inn in Hartford.
500
00:15:55,727 --> 00:15:56,993
I know.
501
00:15:56,995 --> 00:15:58,795
It's like she's going
to the Playboy Mansion,
502
00:15:58,797 --> 00:16:00,263
if the Playboy Mansion
503
00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:02,165
was in the insurance capital
of the world.
504
00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:03,767
Hey, Adam.
505
00:16:03,769 --> 00:16:06,469
Brea? You're here? Why?
506
00:16:06,471 --> 00:16:08,304
Because I can't imagine
being away from you
507
00:16:08,306 --> 00:16:09,406
for even a day.
508
00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:12,042
Psh! Girl, I wasn't scared.
509
00:16:12,044 --> 00:16:13,576
Which is a complete lie.
510
00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:14,678
Thank God you're here.
511
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,013
Aww...
512
00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:18,548
Oh, no.
513
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:20,383
If Geoff and Erica are good
and you and Brea are, too,
514
00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:21,785
then that can mean only one thing!
515
00:16:21,787 --> 00:16:23,987
Hey, I was looking for you.
516
00:16:23,989 --> 00:16:26,189
Hopefully not to break up with me.
517
00:16:26,191 --> 00:16:28,224
- What?
- We're good, right?
518
00:16:28,226 --> 00:16:31,161
Oh, um... yeah...
519
00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:32,762
"Oh, um"?
520
00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:35,108
Barry, we need to talk.
521
00:16:38,784 --> 00:16:41,734
The wedding my mom planned
for Bill was in serious trouble
522
00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:43,187
'cause there was no Bill.
523
00:16:43,189 --> 00:16:45,108
Bill, when you agreed to get married,
524
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:47,688
you gave up your right
to ever make a decision again.
525
00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,278
Bill... Bill stepped out!
526
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:52,563
Bill...
527
00:16:52,565 --> 00:16:54,798
Um, I'm gonna knock down this door,
528
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,833
choke you out,
529
00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:58,516
and drag your lifeless body
downstairs...
530
00:16:58,541 --> 00:16:59,937
and move your face like a puppet
531
00:16:59,939 --> 00:17:00,971
so you say, "I do!"
532
00:17:00,973 --> 00:17:02,773
You're gonna "Weekend at Bernie's" me?
533
00:17:02,775 --> 00:17:03,841
No, thank you!
534
00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:05,909
L-L-Let me give this a try.
535
00:17:07,246 --> 00:17:09,713
Hey, Bill.
536
00:17:09,715 --> 00:17:12,282
I thought you were crazy
about this lady.
537
00:17:12,284 --> 00:17:13,884
Like beans love weenies.
538
00:17:13,886 --> 00:17:15,653
That's also our nicknames
for each other.
539
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:16,687
I'm beans.
540
00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:17,888
Well, then, what's the problem?
541
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:20,758
I've been burned
by the marriage game once.
542
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,626
Do you know I spent the last six years
543
00:17:22,628 --> 00:17:24,194
sleeping on an empty waterbed?
544
00:17:24,196 --> 00:17:25,929
That sounds terribly uncomfortable.
545
00:17:25,931 --> 00:17:28,499
I just haven't had anyone
to fill it for, you know?
546
00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:31,001
Now you got Dolores to fill it for you.
547
00:17:31,003 --> 00:17:32,803
What if she leaves me, too?
548
00:17:32,805 --> 00:17:34,705
I can't go through it again.
549
00:17:34,707 --> 00:17:38,208
You know, I was gonna save this
for my wedding speech,
550
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:40,110
but what the hell.
551
00:17:40,112 --> 00:17:43,947
Marriage... is not a sure thing.
552
00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:45,649
That's a rough start.
553
00:17:45,651 --> 00:17:48,152
Look, if you find
the right woman, like I did,
554
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,320
it's the easiest choice in the world.
555
00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:53,157
I knew I loved Bevy soon as I met her.
556
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,192
Over the last 28 years,
557
00:17:55,194 --> 00:17:58,495
she's really taught me what love is.
558
00:17:58,497 --> 00:17:59,997
If you find a woman
559
00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:03,434
who makes you half as happy
as Bevy makes me,
560
00:18:03,436 --> 00:18:04,668
you're set for life.
561
00:18:08,507 --> 00:18:10,074
I want what you have.
562
00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:11,108
That's a good thing
563
00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:12,810
'cause it's waiting right outside.
564
00:18:15,247 --> 00:18:17,648
You really are my best man.
565
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,291
Do you really mean those
nice things you said?
566
00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:28,659
Nah.
567
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:30,661
Shut up and get in here.
568
00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:31,895
All right.
569
00:18:31,897 --> 00:18:33,964
While my dad put
the wedding back on track,
570
00:18:33,966 --> 00:18:36,567
Barry was trying to keep
his relationship with Ren
571
00:18:36,569 --> 00:18:38,135
from going off the rails.
572
00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,770
Look...
573
00:18:39,772 --> 00:18:41,805
Barry, I-I think you're great.
574
00:18:41,807 --> 00:18:42,906
But...
575
00:18:42,908 --> 00:18:44,842
I saw my old boyfriend,
576
00:18:44,844 --> 00:18:46,910
and I think I still have
feelings for him.
577
00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:48,412
You sure?
578
00:18:48,414 --> 00:18:49,580
We kissed.
579
00:18:49,582 --> 00:18:52,583
So... that's it?
580
00:18:52,585 --> 00:18:54,251
You're just gonna get
back together with him?
581
00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:55,686
I'm so sorry.
582
00:18:57,723 --> 00:18:58,756
Me too.
583
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,124
In that moment,
584
00:19:00,126 --> 00:19:01,391
Barry didn't need a psychic
585
00:19:01,393 --> 00:19:03,861
to tell him how much it was gonna hurt,
586
00:19:03,863 --> 00:19:06,463
but luckily, he had
a few shoulders to lean on.
587
00:19:06,465 --> 00:19:08,866
- You okay?
- Not really.
588
00:19:08,868 --> 00:19:11,235
Stupid psychic.
589
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:14,638
Bar, no one actually knows the future.
590
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,906
But what I can tell you
591
00:19:15,908 --> 00:19:17,908
is we're gonna get through this.
592
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:19,343
Together.
593
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,178
I guess family can't break up with you.
594
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,813
Wouldn't even think of it.
595
00:19:22,815 --> 00:19:24,414
You're stuck with us forever.
596
00:19:24,416 --> 00:19:26,216
It was true.
597
00:19:26,218 --> 00:19:30,721
In good times and in bad,
family is there forever...
598
00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:33,590
both the family we're born into
599
00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,325
and the family that we choose.
600
00:19:35,327 --> 00:19:39,482
♪ Maybe I'm amazed at the
way you love me all the time ♪
601
00:19:39,507 --> 00:19:40,697
♪ Bum-bum, bum ♪
602
00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:44,591
♪ Maybe I'm afraid of the way
I love you ♪
603
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,737
♪ Bum-bum, bum-bum,
bum-bum, bum-bum-bum ♪
604
00:19:46,739 --> 00:19:49,139
And by the power vested in me
605
00:19:49,141 --> 00:19:52,106
by two very terrifying ladies,
606
00:19:52,131 --> 00:19:54,912
I pronounce you man and wife.
607
00:19:57,183 --> 00:19:58,715
That day,
608
00:19:58,717 --> 00:20:00,643
Bill and Dolores chose their new family,
609
00:20:00,668 --> 00:20:05,252
and with it, a new future...
one they'd make together.
610
00:20:05,277 --> 00:20:07,491
It's so beautiful!
611
00:20:07,493 --> 00:20:10,227
- You did great... but you always do.
- ♪ Maybe I'm amazed at the way ♪
612
00:20:10,229 --> 00:20:13,303
♪ I really need you ♪
613
00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:15,981
♪ Maybe I'm a man ♪
614
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,335
- ♪ Maybe I'm a lonely man ♪
- That's what's incredible about weddings.
615
00:20:18,337 --> 00:20:19,837
They're just a day.
616
00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:23,207
But they're the beginning
of an entire new lifetime.
617
00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:24,441
Because when you think about it,
618
00:20:24,443 --> 00:20:26,643
life is full of new beginnings...
619
00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:30,480
marriage, children, even break-ups.
620
00:20:30,482 --> 00:20:33,250
And although we can't predict
what tomorrow holds,
621
00:20:33,252 --> 00:20:34,585
as long as we're there
622
00:20:34,587 --> 00:20:36,753
with the people we love in the present,
623
00:20:36,755 --> 00:20:39,523
the future is bound to be amazing.
624
00:20:50,765 --> 00:20:52,577
Hey, Brea. It's Adam again.
625
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,775
I'm so glad you came to the wedding
626
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,106
instead of going to Hartford.
627
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,158
I'm sure you would've looked
great at the hotel, too.
628
00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:58,424
I hear there's a nice pool there,
629
00:20:58,471 --> 00:21:00,791
so I assume you'd be enjoying
the freedom of a swimsuit.
630
00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:02,287
My mom always says
631
00:21:02,289 --> 00:21:04,522
a one-piece is the safest choice
for modesty.
632
00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:05,757
I'm in no way suggesting
633
00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:07,258
you should have a swimsuit
like my mom's.
634
00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:09,027
In her defense, she pulls it off.
635
00:21:09,029 --> 00:21:10,261
She's pretty fit.
636
00:21:10,263 --> 00:21:13,131
Power walks, plays tennis,
eats cottage cheese.
637
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:15,133
You could do a lot worse than
having a body like my mom's.
638
00:21:15,135 --> 00:21:16,167
Let's just say
639
00:21:16,169 --> 00:21:18,570
if you were her age and had her body,
640
00:21:18,572 --> 00:21:20,338
you would hear no complaints from me.
641
00:21:21,675 --> 00:21:22,880
How'd I do?
642
00:21:22,942 --> 00:21:25,494
Honestly, I am feeling better
about my break-up.
47092
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