Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:15,887 --> 00:01:17,923
(MOANING)
2
00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:31,242
(RHYTHMIC CREAKING)
3
00:01:40,727 --> 00:01:42,479
(MAN SCREAMING)
4
00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:03,084
Editor's office, please
5
00:02:03,647 --> 00:02:07,879
Well, tell him it's Martin Trout
Then he may not be quite so busy
6
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:11,685
Hello? Yeah, I've got it Yeah The lot, the works
7
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,567
Him and her together Yeah
8
00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:17,640
No, no By the pool at her place in the country
9
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:21,564
Yeah Tongues in a reef knot
10
00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:25,475
Yeah At one point he had his tongue in her nose
11
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:30,199
Yes Look, this is thermonuclear
12
00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,562
Profumo doesn't come into it
13
00:02:33,807 --> 00:02:38,756
My battery is getting a bit low
so I'll give you a buzz back when I get to Victoria
14
00:02:39,407 --> 00:02:41,523
Okay Bye
15
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:53,079
Sorry about this
I know it must be in here somewhere
16
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:58,365
Anyway, are you well?
17
00:03:01,287 --> 00:03:04,245
Here you are
It must have slipped through a hole in the lining
18
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:08,445
Here, cheer up
I just earned myself 1 00,000 quid
19
00:03:10,087 --> 00:03:13,841
MAN: About time and all, eh?
20
00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:19,520
MARTIN: What do you mean, 80?
21
00:03:19,607 --> 00:03:22,280
80 nothing You agreed 1 00, sight unseen
22
00:03:22,647 --> 00:03:24,763
1 00 if the story checked out
23
00:03:24,847 --> 00:03:27,839
Don't mess me around, John
24
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:29,998
Look, I am holding in my hand
25
00:03:30,087 --> 00:03:33,875
a little stick of dynamite
that will blow this country apart
26
00:03:34,927 --> 00:03:39,364
Look, if you're not interested,
I have a little phone number in Wapping
27
00:03:39,727 --> 00:03:41,240
I'm sure they
28
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,325
Yes That's more like it
29
00:03:44,407 --> 00:03:48,559
VICTOR: Hello, can you put me through
to your customer complaints department please?
30
00:03:48,647 --> 00:03:51,923
MARTIN: right away and be over to you
Yeah On your desk
31
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:54,726
VICTOR: Your public-relations department, then
MARTIN: Sorry, I
32
00:03:54,847 --> 00:03:57,156
No, I don't want Personnel!
I want to talk to someone
33
00:03:57,247 --> 00:03:59,442
I want to complain about one of your products!
34
00:03:59,527 --> 00:04:01,563
Well, I can come to you directly or
35
00:04:01,647 --> 00:04:04,207
VICTOR: If he's there, I would Hello!
MARTIN: Hang on a second
36
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,761
VICTOR: Hello? Yes, they were
37
00:04:07,087 --> 00:04:10,397
Fifty-five bloody pounds they cost me Ł55!
38
00:04:10,807 --> 00:04:14,243
Put them on brand-new this morning
to go on holiday and what happens?
39
00:04:14,327 --> 00:04:16,636
I'll show you what bloody well happens
40
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:19,045
Do you hear that?
41
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,042
Can you hear that?
42
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,483
It's like walking around
with a dead halibut stuck to your foot
43
00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:29,118
I've never in all my life
known such shoddy bloody work
44
00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:32,882
Oi, you, Superman's grandad
45
00:04:33,887 --> 00:04:39,041
Shut your bloody yap I can't hear myself think
with you shrieking about like a rutting gibbon
46
00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:41,317
Shrieking like a Who the hell is shrieking?
47
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:45,480
Who's shrieking? A hand grenade could go off
in your mouth and no one would hear it!
48
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:50,243
Show some consideration for the rest
of the human race and shut your bleeding trap!
49
00:04:51,127 --> 00:04:55,882
-Have you quite finished?
-No Your socks are too loud as well
50
00:04:56,447 --> 00:04:59,564
Here I am, trying to make
an important phone call
51
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:02,559
Oi! Can't you see this booth is occupied?
52
00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:05,366
You trying to access my Mercury facility
and use my
53
00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:09,201
There was no one here
What was I supposed to Oh!
54
00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:11,440
Hello
55
00:05:12,847 --> 00:05:14,599
Hello? Are you still there?
56
00:05:14,687 --> 00:05:18,316
Yes Well, I can tell you now,
you haven't heard the end of this
57
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,039
Who were you phoning anyway?
58
00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:27,120
Oh, it doesn't matter
I forgot to cancel the Sunday papers, that's all
59
00:05:27,287 --> 00:05:31,166
Margaret! Mr Meldrew!
60
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:32,845
We're going to miss it!
61
00:05:32,927 --> 00:05:35,043
Yes, coming!
62
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,280
At least some of us can cancel the Sunday papers
63
00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:44,756
The sordid crap they keep filling them with,
64
00:05:45,287 --> 00:05:48,085
be a relief to get away from them
for a couple of weeks
65
00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:55,085
Yeah, sorry about that Some goon
shooting his mouth off 90 to the dozen
66
00:05:55,207 --> 00:05:56,720
Now, what was I saying?
67
00:05:56,807 --> 00:05:59,924
Oh, yeah If I bring the roll of film round to you
68
00:06:05,487 --> 00:06:07,000
Roll of
69
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:36,558
-A Portuguese pen friend? Bet that's fun
-Yes
70
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,997
Of course, his English is a bit better
than my Portuguese
71
00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:45,565
We've been writing to each other for 1 3 years
it must be now, but never got round to meeting
72
00:06:46,247 --> 00:06:48,124
The engines have stopped
73
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:51,483
Why have they done that?
Just completely cut out all together
74
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:57,244
And then a couple of years ago he lost his wife,
and I recently got divorced,
75
00:06:57,327 --> 00:07:00,797
and we both thought it was a good chance
to take the plunge
76
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,684
Quite an adventure for you
77
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:05,156
My godfathers, did you hear that?
78
00:07:05,247 --> 00:07:06,316
What is it now?
79
00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:10,958
I just overheard one of those stewardesses
whispering to her colleague, ''We are all doomed''
80
00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:13,686
I swear I did As they went by just then
81
00:07:16,207 --> 00:07:17,765
Why is no one else panicking?
82
00:07:17,847 --> 00:07:21,840
Of course, I'd be a bit nervous
about going over there on my own
83
00:07:22,207 --> 00:07:27,804
So the three of us decided to rent a little villa
and have a bit of a holiday for a couple of weeks
84
00:07:27,887 --> 00:07:30,765
What was that? Who heard that just then?
85
00:07:30,847 --> 00:07:32,075
God spare us
86
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:35,477
That noise, like the sound of a wing coming loose
87
00:07:35,887 --> 00:07:38,606
There'll be the sound of someone
being hit over the head
88
00:07:38,687 --> 00:07:41,076
with a bottle of duty free scotch in a minute
89
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:43,965
For God's sake,
give over and try going to sleep or something
90
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,481
How can I go to sleep with all this turbulence?
91
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:50,480
How could we have turbulence?
We haven't left the bloody runway yet!
92
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:54,879
Yes, that's another thing It'll be
a hundred times worse once we're in the air
93
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:37,839
Well, I'll be jiggered Look at that, a gear lever
94
00:08:38,007 --> 00:08:41,204
It's been here all the time
just staring us in the face
95
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:47,243
I wonder if we could use it at all to get to our villa
before the dawn of the next ice age
96
00:08:48,607 --> 00:08:51,440
II can't drive fast, Mr Meldrew,
97
00:08:52,327 --> 00:08:55,046
not on these narrow mountain roads
98
00:08:55,127 --> 00:08:56,242
Fast?
99
00:08:57,407 --> 00:09:01,878
We didn't exactly crash through the sound barrier
in that dual carriageway in Lisbon, did we?
100
00:09:01,967 --> 00:09:03,559
I mean, that was the ultimate insult
101
00:09:03,647 --> 00:09:06,764
Being overtaken
by two blokes pushing a Transit van
102
00:09:09,407 --> 00:09:12,558
Still, it's nice to know
that in temperatures of 1 00 degrees
103
00:09:12,647 --> 00:09:16,720
the car rental firm has thoughtfully
provided us with this, isn't it?
104
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,844
I mean, don't they speak English
at that place, for goodness sake?
105
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,521
Presumably not as they're all Portuguese
106
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:27,318
Yes, everyone else may be melting to death
on the roads, but not us,
107
00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:30,843
because we have a car with hair conditioner
108
00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:34,363
I mean, what in the name of sanity
did they think we wanted it for?
109
00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:37,359
To make sure that the roof rack
was more shiny and manageable?
110
00:09:37,447 --> 00:09:42,840
Will you put a lid on it?
We're supposed to be on holiday
111
00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:47,236
Just stop moaning and enjoy the scenery
112
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:54,796
VICTOR: We're never going to get to that villa
today with Nigel Mansell here at the wheel
113
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,526
At this rate, I shudder to think where we'll end up
114
00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:14,164
We're just saying whether it's wise
to go any further before morning
115
00:10:15,007 --> 00:10:18,238
Jean's dog-tired I could do with some shut-eye
116
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,602
I wonder if they do rooms here for the night?
117
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,476
Well, I suppose they must do
118
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:27,606
Why don't I go and ask?
Give me a chance to use my Portuguese
119
00:10:30,527 --> 00:10:33,803
Well, a fine start this has been to the proceedings
120
00:10:34,207 --> 00:10:38,644
Why is it whenever we go anywhere
it's just one hideous catastrophe after another?
121
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,918
(SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE)
122
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:02,240
There we are All sorted apparently
123
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:06,605
I said would 5,000 escudos be a fair price,
he seemed very happy
124
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:11,397
So I gather he's got a room to show you first,
Mrs Warboys, see if it's to your liking
125
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:14,799
Oh, I get first pick, do I?
126
00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:16,756
-Oh!
-Hello
127
00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:18,758
-I go with you?
-Oh, yes
128
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,197
MAN: You look like very hot lady
129
00:11:22,287 --> 00:11:26,280
MRS WARBOYS: Oh, yes
I'm not used to your climate, I'm afraid
130
00:11:29,087 --> 00:11:34,559
I just hope for your sake this villa is up to scratch
when we finally get there
131
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:39,115
I said all along we should get a place
from a proper holiday firm
132
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:42,405
Not a classified ad in Zit magazine
133
00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:44,876
Jesus Christ Just have a bit of faith
134
00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:48,482
It said it was a charming little villa
that would suit any couple down to the ground
135
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:52,321
I'd have a bit of faith if the photograph
they sent hadn't been touched up with Tipp-Ex
136
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:55,877
I held it up to the light, I swear I could see
a ''condemned'' sign underneath
137
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:59,084
Well, I'm telling you now,
if we get to this place and it's a
138
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:00,646
(MRS WARBOYS SCREAMING)
139
00:12:00,727 --> 00:12:02,001
(CRASHING)
140
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,520
MARGARET: Jean?
141
00:12:06,407 --> 00:12:08,363
What's happened? What's the matter?
142
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:10,438
(SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE)
143
00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:14,561
That man thought I was a
144
00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:17,161
Vocé acha que pode vir assimpara o nosso paiís, com essas velhas putas?
145
00:12:17,247 --> 00:12:20,000
Whatever did you say to him, Mr Meldrew?
146
00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:21,725
I'm sorry, Mrs Warboys
147
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,559
He wanted me to
148
00:12:23,647 --> 00:12:26,844
He wanted you to what? Jean?
149
00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:28,599
Something beginning with ''H''
150
00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:31,042
Pensas que podes vir assim...
151
00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:35,157
Cinco mil escudos.
152
00:12:35,247 --> 00:12:37,886
-Something beginning with ''H''
-Victor
153
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,997
(YELLING IN PORTUGUESE)
154
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:47,117
(TYRES SCREECHING)
155
00:12:47,207 --> 00:12:48,799
MARGARET: Congratulations!
156
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,682
I just don't be
157
00:12:53,887 --> 00:12:56,799
''Give me a chance to try out my Portuguese''
158
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,842
You never ever learn, do you?
159
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:03,923
It wasn't my fault
He just got the wrong end of the stick
160
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:07,397
Oh, that's nothing
to what Jean nearly got the wrong end of
161
00:13:08,727 --> 00:13:11,958
Poor woman will be having nightmares now
every time she sees a zip
162
00:13:12,047 --> 00:13:14,686
-Sees what?
-Look where you're going!
163
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:17,281
-Watch your speed
-Yes, well
164
00:13:17,887 --> 00:13:21,675
Oh, I don't believe it That's all we need
165
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:25,077
MARGARET: What is?
166
00:13:50,127 --> 00:13:53,563
Que é que o senhor está a pensar a fazer?Não viu eu fazer-lhe sinal ali atrás para parar-se?
167
00:13:53,727 --> 00:13:55,285
Sabe qual é o limite de velocidade nesta estrada?
168
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,482
(STAMMERING)
169
00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:59,843
O automóvel quase que iía parar ali na valeta.Esteve a beber hoje â noite?
170
00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:02,316
I'm very sorry I didn't realise
171
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,238
Ah! São ingleses, devia ter adivinhado.
172
00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:05,885
Someone very nearly assaulted our friend
173
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:10,119
Yes He wanted her to do something
beginning with ''H'' apparently
174
00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:13,321
-What was that?
-You work it out
175
00:14:13,447 --> 00:14:15,403
Tem sorte eu não o multar desta vez.
176
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,318
No futuro, veja se tem mais cuidado.
177
00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:18,766
I'm sorry?
178
00:14:18,847 --> 00:14:22,522
English nau compriendo.
179
00:14:22,607 --> 00:14:24,882
We were on our way to a holiday villa
180
00:14:27,687 --> 00:14:31,157
Este é um siítio difiícil de encontrar a esta hora.E as estradas estão perigosas.
181
00:14:31,247 --> 00:14:33,397
-É melhor sair.
-Bom, saiam por favor.
182
00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:36,081
Vamos. E o meu colega seguirá depoisno vosso automóvel.
183
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,805
Vocés venham comigo.
184
00:14:58,007 --> 00:15:01,044
Bom, minhas senhoras e meu senhor,saiam por favor.
185
00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:05,036
-Saiam!-Bom. É aqui que vão ficar.
186
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:17,918
Bem, isto parece estar vazio.Bom. Experimentem as vossas camas.
187
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:21,562
If it's about what happened at that pub,
we didn't mean to cause any trouble
188
00:15:21,647 --> 00:15:24,081
If you could just call the British Council
or anybody who speaks English?
189
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,556
Tenho a certeza que são muito confortáveis.Experimentem-nas!
190
00:15:26,647 --> 00:15:30,560
E no futuro,vejam se tenham mais cuidado a conduzir.
191
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:34,881
E se vão dormir aqui,mantenham a porta bem fechada.
192
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:38,357
Os ratos podem tornar-se muito esfomiadosdurante a noite.
193
00:15:58,127 --> 00:15:59,560
(CLANKING)
194
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:01,160
(BUBBLING)
195
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,565
(CLANKING)
196
00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:07,444
(BANGING)
197
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,918
(FLUSHING)
198
00:16:37,807 --> 00:16:39,843
My watch has stopped
199
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,437
5:30 in the afternoon
200
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:47,321
Eighteen hours, not a thing to eat
201
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:50,397
Can't even have a bath
202
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,598
Sixty years old I'll be next month
203
00:16:59,967 --> 00:17:01,878
Sixty years
204
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:06,799
of waiting for something nice to happen
205
00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:12,323
Will you let us out of here?
We haven't done anything wrong!
206
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,719
Hello? Hello? Can you hear me out there or what?
207
00:17:17,967 --> 00:17:19,082
Hello?
208
00:17:24,687 --> 00:17:28,236
I realise now
that the only thing that's kept me going
209
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:32,763
is the hope that one day
things might be different
210
00:17:33,647 --> 00:17:35,239
That one day
211
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:38,162
well, I suppose it was being over romantic,
212
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,886
I could go on a nice holiday to Portugal
213
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:45,317
and come home again afterwards
214
00:17:47,047 --> 00:17:51,802
instead of being left to rot to death
in the set of Midnight Express,
215
00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:55,761
charged with geriatric pimping
216
00:17:58,407 --> 00:18:00,921
Twitchy leg muscle is starting up
217
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,842
Need to stretch my legs, I think
218
00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:06,086
MARGARET: Yes
219
00:18:07,407 --> 00:18:11,639
Well, I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that
when they put us on the rack
220
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:13,758
My God! You're not serious?
221
00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:16,680
Is it still legal to garrotte people over here?
222
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:18,806
Well, let's hope so
223
00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:30,686
I can't believe I let you take us to that thing
It was so cruel
224
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,281
It was like something out of Roman times
225
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,722
How can you say it was cruel?
226
00:18:35,807 --> 00:18:40,961
The matador is in no real danger If the bull
gets too close, they stab it to death with swords
227
00:18:41,047 --> 00:18:43,436
-How can it be cruel?
-It's cruel to the bull
228
00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:45,916
Cruel to the bull? Man, whose side are you on?
229
00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:49,522
We're on the side of decency
and human compassion, Dad, as it happens
230
00:18:49,607 --> 00:18:52,804
Oh, right Of course, I forgot
231
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:56,846
My son, the compassionate welterweight
with no taste for blood
232
00:18:57,127 --> 00:19:00,085
Can you wonder
that he lost 1 1 of his last 1 2 fights?
233
00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:02,044
Does that surprise anyone in this car?
234
00:19:02,127 --> 00:19:05,085
I had a run of bad luck That's all it was
235
00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:08,716
No The reason is
Do you want to know the reason?
236
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,322
It's because you haven't got the killer instinct
237
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:14,922
Thirty-five years in this business,
I think I know what the game's about
238
00:19:15,407 --> 00:19:16,840
It's about hate
239
00:19:17,487 --> 00:19:19,603
You have to hate the person
240
00:19:19,687 --> 00:19:23,396
You have to physically want to
beat the living crap out of the man you're boxing
241
00:19:23,487 --> 00:19:25,364
-What it's not about
-Can we give this a rest?
242
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:28,644
What it's not about
is stopping halfway through round five
243
00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:31,195
to enquire about his mother's arthritis
244
00:19:31,927 --> 00:19:34,964
I promise, before this holiday is over
245
00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:37,800
we're going to work
on this attitude problem of yours
246
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:43,481
If I can make you dislike just one person,
to bring out that hate and aggression,
247
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:45,717
it may just give me hope for your future
248
00:19:45,807 --> 00:19:49,083
How many times, Dad?
I don't have any hidden aggression
249
00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:51,158
because I never let people upset me
250
00:19:51,247 --> 00:19:56,685
See? Look at me I'm Mr Cool,
which is something you should try sometime
251
00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:58,844
You might live a bit longer
252
00:20:14,207 --> 00:20:16,163
Would you believe it?
253
00:20:16,327 --> 00:20:19,046
-What's that?
-That manky old dump across the road
254
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:20,446
You know, the one the travel agent said
255
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:23,041
was only being held together
by cockroach droppings
256
00:20:23,127 --> 00:20:25,516
-What about it?
-There's a car outside
257
00:20:25,607 --> 00:20:27,643
Must belong to them demolition people
258
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,116
No, look There's suitcases on the roof
259
00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:34,439
My God Do you know, I think they've
actually conned someone into staying there
260
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,722
Must be some serious brain damage
261
00:20:38,527 --> 00:20:40,836
(SCREAMING)
262
00:20:40,927 --> 00:20:42,519
VICTOR: You bastards!
263
00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:47,242
We'll see what the European Court
of Human Rights has to say about this!
264
00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:50,922
Because I'm not letting it rest here, matey,
and don't think I am!
265
00:20:51,407 --> 00:20:53,921
If Terry Waite can stick it, so can we!
266
00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:57,921
You haven't got the better of us yet!
267
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:40,406
If I could just reach one of them
268
00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:45,436
Got it!
269
00:21:45,527 --> 00:21:48,280
-Oh, wonderful!
-There
270
00:21:52,487 --> 00:21:54,876
-What's this?
-A lemon?
271
00:21:55,287 --> 00:21:57,676
Is that all there is, Mr Meldrew?
272
00:21:57,767 --> 00:21:58,995
All there
273
00:22:00,607 --> 00:22:04,395
No, wait!
I think I can see a string of bratwurst sausages
274
00:22:04,527 --> 00:22:07,200
just stringed up nicely in the next branch
275
00:22:07,487 --> 00:22:12,481
Of course it's all there is It's a bloody lemon tree
What else do you expect to find on it?
276
00:22:12,887 --> 00:22:15,765
We haven't eaten in two days
277
00:22:16,207 --> 00:22:17,606
Give it here
278
00:22:19,487 --> 00:22:22,399
I suppose there's no sign of life out there still
279
00:22:23,407 --> 00:22:26,160
I can't make it out
There's no officers, no vehicles
280
00:22:26,247 --> 00:22:29,045
The place is as quiet as a graveyard
281
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:33,044
I can't see much through these trees at all
if it comes to that
282
00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:36,597
I can just make out a sign on the gate
283
00:22:36,687 --> 00:22:41,442
Something ''da Queimada''
284
00:22:42,447 --> 00:22:44,278
Police station, is that?
285
00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:46,039
And some chickens
286
00:22:46,127 --> 00:22:51,565
I mean, it can't be so remote
there's no one on duty in the whole
287
00:22:59,927 --> 00:23:01,155
Oh
288
00:23:02,207 --> 00:23:03,720
This isn't happening
289
00:23:16,847 --> 00:23:18,200
Come on!
290
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,042
Oh!
291
00:23:22,727 --> 00:23:24,285
How did you do that?
292
00:23:25,127 --> 00:23:26,799
How did you unlock it?
293
00:23:26,887 --> 00:23:28,684
I didn't unlock it
294
00:23:28,767 --> 00:23:30,598
(STAMMERING) But how did
295
00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:32,484
It wasn't locked
296
00:23:32,567 --> 00:23:35,559
It was never locked It was just a bit stiff
297
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:39,643
Oh, God Haven't you worked it out yet?
298
00:23:39,727 --> 00:23:41,399
Worked what out?
299
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:45,924
Rua da Queimada Doesn't that ring any bells?
300
00:23:48,967 --> 00:23:51,561
This is our villa
301
00:23:54,687 --> 00:23:55,836
How
302
00:23:57,127 --> 00:23:59,595
You mean it isn't a police cell?
303
00:23:59,727 --> 00:24:02,195
I showed them the address Don't you remember?
304
00:24:02,567 --> 00:24:05,604
We thought they were arresting us
They were just bringing us to the house
305
00:24:05,687 --> 00:24:09,077
That other officer must have picked up the keys
on the way from
306
00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:15,925
Thirty-six hours we've spent
wallowing in our own filth, sucking lemons
307
00:24:16,847 --> 00:24:21,921
''A charming villa to suit any couple''
Such as who? Bill Sikes and Nancy?
308
00:24:23,607 --> 00:24:26,963
By the looks of it,
we'll be lucky if it's got a bloody roof
309
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,479
(STAMMERING) I
310
00:24:40,807 --> 00:24:44,243
I don't believe it
311
00:25:39,807 --> 00:25:41,604
Help!
312
00:26:20,967 --> 00:26:22,161
I know
313
00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:28,042
Anyway, we're over the worst now hopefully So
314
00:26:29,207 --> 00:26:32,040
Yes 6:30
315
00:26:32,287 --> 00:26:35,916
I'm looking forward to meeting you
in the flesh at long last
316
00:26:37,607 --> 00:26:40,565
See you then, Alfonso Bye
317
00:26:55,087 --> 00:26:58,397
I suppose this new aftershave
is going to be launched on the public again today
318
00:26:58,487 --> 00:27:00,717
like chemical warfare, is it?
319
00:27:00,807 --> 00:27:03,480
I'll be putting it on in just a second, yes
320
00:27:03,567 --> 00:27:06,081
The one that makes you smell like a donkey?
321
00:27:08,607 --> 00:27:11,326
I don't think I'm gonna risk this bed linen
322
00:27:11,407 --> 00:27:15,764
Just as well we brought some of our own
Did you bring that other case? Oh, there it is
323
00:27:16,327 --> 00:27:20,445
I don't know where you get that from
I mean, I'm hardly likely to pay Ł34 7
324
00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:23,877
for an aftershave that makes me
smell like a donkey, am I?
325
00:27:23,967 --> 00:27:28,006
Perfectly good aftershave
I don't know why you've such a downer on it
326
00:27:30,327 --> 00:27:31,885
What is all this?
327
00:27:35,007 --> 00:27:36,156
What the
328
00:27:36,247 --> 00:27:38,283
But didn't you
329
00:27:38,927 --> 00:27:40,679
You didn't
330
00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:43,998
Oh, for crying out loud
331
00:27:44,407 --> 00:27:46,602
I thought you were
supposed to have emptied all this
332
00:27:46,687 --> 00:27:49,281
when you brought the case down from the attic
333
00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:50,880
I thought you'd taken it out
334
00:27:50,967 --> 00:27:53,083
I said I hadn't taken it out
335
00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:56,876
You said you were going to do everything,
pack all the sheets and towels in it on Friday
336
00:27:56,967 --> 00:28:02,041
I said, ''Why do I have to do everything?''
I asked you to pack all the sheets and
337
00:28:03,847 --> 00:28:06,281
I laid them all out on the spare bed ready
338
00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:10,485
You must have seen them
when you took the bloody thing down to the car
339
00:28:12,127 --> 00:28:14,083
Well, I did see
340
00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:17,121
This is what I've got to lie on in bed now, is it?
341
00:28:17,207 --> 00:28:21,803
Ten years' worth of Access statements
and 1 00 copies of the Beezer!
342
00:28:21,887 --> 00:28:25,277
We even had to pay excess baggage
to bring it here
343
00:28:26,087 --> 00:28:32,003
Oh, stillI'm sure we can happily find a use
for this while we're here
344
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:35,079
I'll just go and see if there's some cheese
345
00:28:37,847 --> 00:28:39,439
(DOOR SLAMMING)
346
00:28:51,807 --> 00:28:53,445
(SNIFFING)
347
00:29:11,487 --> 00:29:13,876
Go on Get out of it
348
00:29:15,527 --> 00:29:17,995
Bugger off, the lot of you
Did someone put you up to this?
349
00:29:18,087 --> 00:29:20,282
Go and sniff around someone else
350
00:29:20,367 --> 00:29:23,484
I don't think it's as strong as all that
I'm getting sick of this
351
00:29:36,127 --> 00:29:37,685
I like those
352
00:29:39,047 --> 00:29:41,163
Look at that Italian calf leather
353
00:29:43,767 --> 00:29:48,079
I have looked for a pair like this at home
Do you think I could find anything?
354
00:29:50,247 --> 00:29:51,475
Thanks all the same
355
00:29:51,567 --> 00:29:52,636
(CHOKING)
356
00:29:52,727 --> 00:29:54,319
Is she all right?
357
00:29:57,567 --> 00:29:59,285
Slap her on the back or something
358
00:29:59,727 --> 00:30:02,036
Oh, God, it's something lodged in her throat
359
00:30:02,447 --> 00:30:04,324
Out of the way Here, let me
360
00:30:10,327 --> 00:30:13,524
Oh, thank you Obrigada.
361
00:30:13,887 --> 00:30:17,436
I don't know what happens Eat too fast, I think
362
00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:21,042
That's all right
I mean, it's called the Heimlich manoeuvre
363
00:30:21,527 --> 00:30:23,916
I saw it demonstrated once
by Susan Stranks on Magpie.
364
00:30:24,007 --> 00:30:25,281
MARGARET: Oh, did you?
365
00:30:25,367 --> 00:30:27,483
I've been waiting all these years
for a chance to use it
366
00:30:27,567 --> 00:30:29,603
You sure you're all right now?
367
00:30:29,687 --> 00:30:31,279
I'm so grateful
368
00:30:31,727 --> 00:30:33,319
I don't know what to say
369
00:30:33,407 --> 00:30:35,204
Yes Well, it's getting on, I think,
370
00:30:35,287 --> 00:30:37,642
and we don't want
to keep your friend Alfonso waiting, do we?
371
00:30:37,727 --> 00:30:41,083
Perhaps you'd like to put her down now, Victor
You've just saved the woman from choking
372
00:30:41,167 --> 00:30:43,635
You don't want to kill her with the aftershave
373
00:31:07,607 --> 00:31:08,801
Ah, Victor
374
00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:13,726
The non-specific urethritis is not giving you
too much trouble tonight, I hope
375
00:31:13,847 --> 00:31:17,999
The scalding sensation
is now improving a little, yes?
376
00:31:19,407 --> 00:31:21,159
Slightly, yes
377
00:31:33,487 --> 00:31:36,285
I feel as if I'm walking through a dream
378
00:31:36,567 --> 00:31:40,355
To think that I'm actually here
after all these years
379
00:31:43,847 --> 00:31:46,236
Shame we never got to meet Maria
380
00:31:47,847 --> 00:31:50,680
Two years is it now, since the accident?
381
00:31:51,647 --> 00:31:53,717
They never found her body presumably
382
00:31:54,487 --> 00:31:56,284
And I don't suppose they ever will
383
00:31:59,647 --> 00:32:02,320
My wife for 26 years
384
00:32:04,127 --> 00:32:09,155
Sometimes she would walk home
from the town along the cliff tops
385
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:14,442
It is a beautiful walk,
386
00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:17,886
but very dangerous close to the edge
387
00:32:20,007 --> 00:32:23,556
So many times I tell her to be careful,
388
00:32:24,247 --> 00:32:28,445
that the ground can so easily crumble
beneath your feet like
389
00:32:29,727 --> 00:32:31,763
dry fruitcake, you know
390
00:32:32,967 --> 00:32:34,161
But
391
00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:37,717
one day she goes into town,
392
00:32:39,367 --> 00:32:40,925
she never came back
393
00:32:42,487 --> 00:32:46,878
They found one of her shoes on top of the cliffs,
394
00:32:48,327 --> 00:32:50,557
the other on the rocks below
395
00:32:52,527 --> 00:32:57,442
A torn piece of her dress
caught on some driftwood
396
00:32:58,687 --> 00:33:02,475
The current must have swept her far out to sea
397
00:33:04,367 --> 00:33:07,677
Three weeks later, off the Estoril coast,
398
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,957
two skin divers find an octopus
399
00:33:12,047 --> 00:33:14,277
holding a Gucci handbag
400
00:33:16,287 --> 00:33:19,563
But, you know, it is hopeless
401
00:33:20,927 --> 00:33:23,202
She is gone forever
402
00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:32,355
Three weeks' time
would have been her 53rd birthday
403
00:33:37,727 --> 00:33:39,479
Just before yours, then
404
00:33:41,647 --> 00:33:43,285
She'll be 60 next month
405
00:33:44,767 --> 00:33:46,485
Can I ever forget it?
406
00:33:49,887 --> 00:33:51,718
Oh, I may have moved
407
00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:57,486
Lovely Now just one more Lean in
408
00:33:58,887 --> 00:34:00,286
(MOSQUITO BUZZING)
409
00:34:00,367 --> 00:34:01,686
Lovely
410
00:34:03,367 --> 00:34:05,562
Oh, that's another roll finished
411
00:34:06,607 --> 00:34:09,599
I seem to have a bag full of these things
412
00:34:09,887 --> 00:34:12,082
I don't know
where they've all come from suddenly
413
00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:14,203
It's been a terrific evening, Alfonso
414
00:34:14,287 --> 00:34:15,640
(MOSQUITO BUZZING)
415
00:34:15,727 --> 00:34:19,481
I'm afraid I've fallen in love with your house
416
00:34:20,487 --> 00:34:22,478
May we take it back with us?
417
00:34:22,807 --> 00:34:24,035
Of course
418
00:34:24,967 --> 00:34:28,323
But you will find it is far too big for one person
419
00:34:29,847 --> 00:34:33,476
For two, perhaps not so bad
420
00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:41,885
(SLAPPING)
421
00:34:42,607 --> 00:34:45,326
How you stick it in this climate is beyond me
422
00:34:47,367 --> 00:34:51,918
Tomorrow you will ring me, Jean,
and I show you the wonders of the Algarve
423
00:34:52,567 --> 00:34:55,001
And perhaps we take you scuba diving, Victor
424
00:34:55,087 --> 00:34:58,477
-Yes, have you got any concrete flippers?
-ALFONSO: Sorry?
425
00:34:58,567 --> 00:35:00,205
Nothing Good night, Alfonso
426
00:35:00,287 --> 00:35:01,925
-Good night
-Night
427
00:35:02,007 --> 00:35:04,282
Bye, Alfonso, and thank you again
428
00:35:16,967 --> 00:35:19,640
You two seem to get on like a house on fire
429
00:35:20,047 --> 00:35:21,241
Really?
430
00:35:22,447 --> 00:35:26,281
Must have been a terrible ordeal for him,
losing his wife like that
431
00:35:26,967 --> 00:35:29,242
He obviously loved her very much
432
00:35:30,367 --> 00:35:31,846
Did you think so?
433
00:35:33,127 --> 00:35:36,437
-What do you mean?
-Just thought it was a bit odd, that's all
434
00:35:36,527 --> 00:35:38,324
Showed us around every room
435
00:35:38,407 --> 00:35:41,479
and there wasn't a single photograph
of her in the house
436
00:35:44,007 --> 00:35:48,956
No No, I haven't actually managed
to lay my hands on it again as such
437
00:35:50,007 --> 00:35:54,000
Well, it must be round here somewhere
Yeah, ten to one it's in her handbag,
438
00:35:54,087 --> 00:35:56,726
in which case I'll have to pick my moment
439
00:35:57,087 --> 00:36:00,602
Listen, you get that front page ready for Sunday
440
00:36:00,687 --> 00:36:05,886
And you better wear asbestos gloves
because these pictures are hot
441
00:36:06,007 --> 00:36:07,565
Talk to you soon
442
00:36:28,447 --> 00:36:30,199
(CAR APPROACHING)
443
00:36:34,607 --> 00:36:36,086
(CAR DOOR CLOSING)
444
00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:49,318
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
445
00:36:50,367 --> 00:36:54,440
MRS WARBOYS: Always worried that these things
won't live up to your expectations
446
00:36:54,527 --> 00:36:58,805
But, if anything, I'd say he was even
better looking in the flesh than his photographs
447
00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:02,042
I must have been a big disappointment
448
00:37:03,047 --> 00:37:05,277
Yes, I expect so
449
00:37:05,367 --> 00:37:07,562
What's that supposed to mean?
450
00:37:08,287 --> 00:37:09,436
Sorry?
451
00:37:09,527 --> 00:37:11,040
Go to bed
452
00:37:16,767 --> 00:37:20,442
My skin's gone all dry now
I should've put something on my face
453
00:37:20,527 --> 00:37:22,085
Try a pillow
454
00:37:43,767 --> 00:37:46,679
Oh, be careful if you get up in the night
without your shoes on
455
00:37:46,767 --> 00:37:49,884
I put that mousetrap down
near the bathroom door
456
00:37:49,967 --> 00:37:51,639
(MOUSETRAP SNAPPING)
457
00:37:51,727 --> 00:37:52,876
Oh
458
00:37:55,527 --> 00:37:57,085
I wasn't, was I?
459
00:37:57,727 --> 00:38:00,446
-What?
-A disappointment
460
00:38:01,447 --> 00:38:04,757
I think you know the answer to that
as well as I do
461
00:38:08,927 --> 00:38:10,440
It's funny
462
00:38:10,527 --> 00:38:15,920
In the first few months after Chris left,
I was almost ready to drink the Domestos
463
00:38:16,727 --> 00:38:19,321
It never occurred to me that one day I might
464
00:38:19,407 --> 00:38:22,080
(MRS WARBOYS GIGGLING) Just listen to me!
465
00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:25,364
Like some sort of silly schoolgirl
466
00:38:30,527 --> 00:38:32,722
Have a good night, Jean See you in the morning
467
00:38:32,807 --> 00:38:34,479
Night, Margaret
468
00:38:37,007 --> 00:38:40,602
You know, this place isn't as bad as all that really
469
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:46,165
Once you get used to it
470
00:38:52,087 --> 00:38:54,043
(MARTIN GROANING)
471
00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:57,085
Sorry, Mr Meldrew?
472
00:38:57,407 --> 00:38:59,796
-Good night, Mrs Warboys
-Night
473
00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:04,885
(DOOR CLOSING)
474
00:39:13,487 --> 00:39:16,877
Might get some of these developed today
if we can find somewhere
475
00:39:17,367 --> 00:39:19,517
What time are you seeing Alfonso?
476
00:39:19,967 --> 00:39:21,923
We said 1 0:00 at the golf house,
477
00:39:22,007 --> 00:39:24,680
so if you just drop me at the bus stop, I'll be fine
478
00:39:25,447 --> 00:39:27,881
Well, here he comes, the Silver Surfer
479
00:39:28,327 --> 00:39:31,364
I don't think Tom Cruise
has got anything to worry about, do you?
480
00:39:31,447 --> 00:39:32,766
You two ready?
481
00:39:32,847 --> 00:39:35,077
We've been ready for half an hour
482
00:39:35,567 --> 00:39:38,923
We were waiting for you
to finish faffing about up there
483
00:39:39,007 --> 00:39:41,123
VICTOR: Faffing about up where?
484
00:39:43,007 --> 00:39:44,884
(CAR DEPARTING)
485
00:39:47,447 --> 00:39:48,846
(BANGING)
486
00:39:50,047 --> 00:39:51,605
(GRUNTING)
487
00:40:15,727 --> 00:40:17,877
(MUMBLING)
488
00:40:20,687 --> 00:40:23,201
(SCREAMING)
489
00:41:27,727 --> 00:41:30,878
Oh, what's this? For us?
490
00:41:32,647 --> 00:41:34,365
-What is it?
-Soup
491
00:41:34,447 --> 00:41:35,596
Soup
492
00:41:36,807 --> 00:41:38,286
Mmm! Mmm!
493
00:41:38,367 --> 00:41:41,404
-Very tasty Did you make this yourself?
-Yes
494
00:41:41,487 --> 00:41:42,920
It's lovely
495
00:41:48,607 --> 00:41:50,245
-Victor
-What?
496
00:41:51,127 --> 00:41:52,685
Oh, yes
497
00:41:54,727 --> 00:41:56,046
Thank you
498
00:41:58,007 --> 00:41:59,884
Mmm Mmm Delicious
499
00:42:00,407 --> 00:42:02,045
MARGARET: Thank you very much
500
00:42:13,807 --> 00:42:16,719
Watch where you're going,
you blundering great oaf
501
00:42:16,807 --> 00:42:20,436
Why don't you just bury me alive with a shovel
and have done with it?
502
00:42:21,807 --> 00:42:24,719
I'm sorry Did a bit of sand go up your nose?
503
00:42:25,247 --> 00:42:27,807
I'll come and poke it out for you if you like
504
00:42:27,887 --> 00:42:29,878
Oh, no! Look at that now
505
00:42:29,967 --> 00:42:32,527
I've knocked over your bottle of embalming fluid
506
00:42:32,607 --> 00:42:35,075
I sorry about that, man I really am
507
00:42:36,207 --> 00:42:38,482
Victor, for God's sake!
508
00:42:40,087 --> 00:42:41,679
Look at that!
509
00:42:42,207 --> 00:42:44,767
Legs look like they've been pebble-dashed now!
510
00:42:45,727 --> 00:42:47,763
I'll have to go wash it all off
511
00:43:35,607 --> 00:43:38,326
It's too hot for me here I think I'll go for a walk
512
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:39,886
Oh, right
513
00:43:42,687 --> 00:43:45,201
Before I rot away altogether
514
00:43:48,047 --> 00:43:50,003
And, Hugo, here's a tip
515
00:43:50,607 --> 00:43:53,280
When you're boxing, it's always a good idea
516
00:43:53,447 --> 00:43:58,237
to remain perpendicular to the canvas
That way the audience get a better view
517
00:43:58,647 --> 00:44:03,243
If we ever got sponsorship, you'll have to put
the product logo on the soles of your shoes,
518
00:44:03,327 --> 00:44:06,160
'cause that's the only angle
the camera ever see you from
519
00:44:09,727 --> 00:44:12,685
Oh, hello What have you brought me this time?
520
00:44:12,767 --> 00:44:15,201
-Some roast beef and Yorkshire pudding?
-Yes
521
00:44:15,367 --> 00:44:17,517
Mmm Thank you
522
00:44:17,927 --> 00:44:19,804
God, you're wonderful, Dad
523
00:44:19,887 --> 00:44:22,321
And you're doing a wonderful job
trying to wind me up
524
00:44:22,407 --> 00:44:25,922
Except, unfortunately, I'm on my holiday
No one in the world is going to upset me
525
00:44:26,007 --> 00:44:28,202
Now can you understand that?
526
00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:31,486
Smell that ozone
527
00:44:31,567 --> 00:44:34,001
Why can't you just accept it, Humphrey?
528
00:44:34,087 --> 00:44:37,204
Your son is a really sane and centred individual
529
00:44:37,847 --> 00:44:41,556
and that kind of self control
is a really rare quality these days
530
00:44:52,007 --> 00:44:54,202
And I know what a big disappointment
it's been to you,
531
00:44:54,287 --> 00:44:57,563
but there's not you or anyone else
can possibly faze him out
532
00:45:11,567 --> 00:45:14,445
Hey! Watch out for the jellyfish!
533
00:45:17,527 --> 00:45:19,722
Hello! How are you?
534
00:45:20,407 --> 00:45:22,557
Oh, don't you remember?
535
00:45:23,127 --> 00:45:26,244
In the shoe shop Isabella
536
00:45:26,767 --> 00:45:30,123
You squeezed me, very tightly I think
537
00:45:33,007 --> 00:45:34,360
You want a drink?
538
00:45:35,607 --> 00:45:38,440
Yes, I think perhaps I will Thank you
539
00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:54,683
Bloody vandals Look at that
540
00:45:54,967 --> 00:45:57,117
I'll never be able to wear this again
541
00:46:00,727 --> 00:46:02,126
Nice walk?
542
00:46:02,207 --> 00:46:03,560
What?
543
00:46:04,287 --> 00:46:05,436
Yes
544
00:46:06,287 --> 00:46:10,997
Oh, guess what
I ran into Isabella, the lady from the shoe shop
545
00:46:11,887 --> 00:46:13,445
Oh, yes
546
00:46:13,527 --> 00:46:16,485
-Head first evidently
-Sorry?
547
00:46:16,567 --> 00:46:20,162
What did she have stuck in her throat this time?
Your tongue?
548
00:46:22,367 --> 00:46:25,962
My What the hell's that supposed to mean?
549
00:46:26,047 --> 00:46:28,845
She just stopped by to say thank you
for that episode in the shop
550
00:46:28,927 --> 00:46:30,440
I'll see you back at the car
551
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,120
(CAR ENGINE REVVING)
552
00:46:45,207 --> 00:46:48,358
Oh, look who it is! It's the sunbathing mummy!
553
00:46:48,487 --> 00:46:51,206
How is your embalming fluid, big man? All right?
554
00:46:51,287 --> 00:46:53,278
Look at you You're like a bleeding corpse!
555
00:46:53,367 --> 00:46:58,521
Just try one more trick like that, that's all!
One more and see what happens!
556
00:47:02,687 --> 00:47:04,757
(CRASHING)
557
00:47:07,047 --> 00:47:08,958
(MAN SHOUTING)
558
00:47:10,447 --> 00:47:12,085
(LAUGHING)
559
00:47:19,367 --> 00:47:22,040
Oh, I said you should have come
to the golf with us
560
00:47:22,567 --> 00:47:26,719
You want to see Alfonso's swing!
Like poetry in motion
561
00:47:27,607 --> 00:47:30,644
Oh, there's another roll to put in, by the way
562
00:47:31,007 --> 00:47:33,077
Did you find a shop for the others?
563
00:47:34,967 --> 00:47:37,640
I forgot every word about it actually
564
00:47:38,247 --> 00:47:41,603
Better start getting ready
I've only got three hours
565
00:47:43,127 --> 00:47:45,960
Are you sure you won't change your mind
about tonight?
566
00:47:46,487 --> 00:47:50,116
It's supposed to be a lovely drive,
right up through the mountains,
567
00:47:50,687 --> 00:47:53,804
and Alfonso said the food is out of this world
568
00:47:53,887 --> 00:47:56,720
No, you and Victor go I'm not really in the mood
569
00:48:01,487 --> 00:48:04,365
And, of course, a good detective show
570
00:48:04,767 --> 00:48:06,200
I love them
571
00:48:06,287 --> 00:48:08,847
The Poirots and Miss Marples
572
00:48:09,247 --> 00:48:13,604
It's something I think
we always do much better than the Americans
573
00:48:13,927 --> 00:48:16,157
Apart from Columbo, of course
574
00:48:16,807 --> 00:48:19,116
Oh, you have to admire the way they get
575
00:48:19,207 --> 00:48:23,405
all that period detail of the '70s
exactly right like that
576
00:48:23,527 --> 00:48:25,279
It's a real credit to them
577
00:48:25,367 --> 00:48:27,437
All that period detail?
578
00:48:27,527 --> 00:48:30,325
That's because they were made in the '70s
579
00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:32,682
-What were?
-The Columbos.
580
00:48:32,807 --> 00:48:34,320
They were
581
00:48:34,887 --> 00:48:37,447
You're drunk and we haven't started eating yet
582
00:48:37,527 --> 00:48:42,555
And then again,
none of it's as grizzly as real life, is it?
583
00:48:43,287 --> 00:48:46,723
Oh, you remember that case in Ostrich Gardens?
584
00:48:46,807 --> 00:48:50,925
Man with one arm
went off with that girl from Do-It-All?
585
00:48:51,327 --> 00:48:54,524
They fell in love
while he was changing a light bulb
586
00:48:55,607 --> 00:48:59,486
Well, he was a nasty piece of work
from all accounts
587
00:48:59,767 --> 00:49:03,237
I'm sure you can't change a light bulb
if you've only got one arm
588
00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:06,482
You can if you've still got the receipt
589
00:49:06,887 --> 00:49:11,517
Anyway, they reckon he did his wife in, in a pinch
590
00:49:12,887 --> 00:49:17,836
Drowned her in the bath with Charlie Chester
turned up loud to cover the screams
591
00:49:18,367 --> 00:49:22,724
(VOICE ECHOING) Then buried the body under
the dog kennel in the back garden
592
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:25,921
and made out she'd just gone missing
593
00:49:26,607 --> 00:49:32,284
Well, of course, one day,
the dog started to get a bit
594
00:49:32,367 --> 00:49:34,517
For God's sake, will you stop this?
595
00:49:43,847 --> 00:49:45,200
I'm sorry
596
00:49:46,687 --> 00:49:48,518
When you talk of drowning
597
00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:52,404
the memory is still very painful
598
00:49:53,487 --> 00:49:57,719
-Forgive me, I should have not shouted
-Oh, no, no, no
599
00:49:58,287 --> 00:49:59,925
It was my fault
600
00:50:00,687 --> 00:50:02,962
I don't know what I was thinking of
601
00:50:07,567 --> 00:50:09,205
I have made up my mind
602
00:50:09,287 --> 00:50:12,404
I can hardly keep my eyes open
603
00:50:13,007 --> 00:50:15,567
Go back now, Jean, and sleep well,
604
00:50:15,647 --> 00:50:19,276
and I will call you in the morning
605
00:50:30,767 --> 00:50:34,646
Night, Alfonso, night Night
606
00:50:34,967 --> 00:50:36,798
(MRS WARBOYS EXCLAIMING)
607
00:52:47,927 --> 00:52:52,079
-I won't be a second
-Don't go, Alfonso
608
00:52:52,167 --> 00:52:54,317
Wonderful, good
609
00:52:54,407 --> 00:52:55,760
Think, woman
610
00:52:55,847 --> 00:52:57,838
For heaven's sake
611
00:53:22,207 --> 00:53:24,846
Meu Deus! Houve ali um acidente.
612
00:53:25,447 --> 00:53:27,517
Devem ter chocado de frente.
613
00:53:27,607 --> 00:53:29,643
E o outro seguiu viagem e deixou-os aqui.
614
00:53:32,567 --> 00:53:35,035
Acho que deviam todos sair do carro.
615
00:53:35,127 --> 00:53:37,277
Ela está inconsciente.
616
00:53:37,447 --> 00:53:39,278
Ela precisa urgentemente de assisténcia médica.
617
00:53:40,207 --> 00:53:42,675
Puxa-a para cima agora.
618
00:53:44,887 --> 00:53:46,206
Tudo bem.
619
00:53:59,967 --> 00:54:02,720
Ora! Agora é depressa para o hospital!
620
00:54:16,607 --> 00:54:19,280
Where the hell have you gone?
621
00:54:21,687 --> 00:54:23,439
Mrs Warboys!
622
00:54:25,167 --> 00:54:27,078
Where have you disappear
623
00:54:36,687 --> 00:54:40,760
Oh, you stupid, stupid, stupid woman
624
00:54:40,847 --> 00:54:42,803
Why couldn't you stay
625
00:54:44,047 --> 00:54:46,402
Oh, my God!
626
00:54:47,087 --> 00:54:48,486
Is something wrong?
627
00:54:48,567 --> 00:54:51,923
Oh, yes It's my friend
She's had rather a lot to drink
628
00:54:52,007 --> 00:54:54,043
and I think she may have
629
00:54:54,527 --> 00:54:55,960
And
630
00:54:56,047 --> 00:54:57,924
You're not serious?
631
00:54:58,007 --> 00:55:01,124
I mean, she wasn't in a fit state to walk anywhere
632
00:55:08,687 --> 00:55:10,439
Are you sure she's down there?
633
00:55:10,527 --> 00:55:13,325
Well, I don't know
I've shouted around everywhere
634
00:55:14,647 --> 00:55:17,639
Mrs Warboys!
635
00:55:17,807 --> 00:55:19,559
Are you all right?
636
00:55:19,647 --> 00:55:21,319
(ECHOING)
637
00:55:21,407 --> 00:55:25,286
If you're down there, say something!
638
00:55:38,487 --> 00:55:41,604
Get to the nearest phone
Ring the coastguard quick as you can
639
00:55:41,687 --> 00:55:43,723
For God's sake, be careful
640
00:56:22,527 --> 00:56:25,325
COASTGUARD: (ON LOUDSPEAKER)
Mrs Warboys. Mrs Warboys.
641
00:56:31,647 --> 00:56:33,683
(SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE)
642
00:56:40,167 --> 00:56:41,998
Is there anything?
643
00:56:42,087 --> 00:56:43,679
What about my husband?
644
00:56:43,767 --> 00:56:46,804
There must be some sign of him out there
or something I mean
645
00:56:46,887 --> 00:56:48,923
What's happened to him?
646
00:57:11,127 --> 00:57:14,164
Help!
647
00:57:14,487 --> 00:57:18,366
(OVER RADIO) ...os amigos da senhoradesaparecida viessem â casa mortuária.
648
00:57:18,647 --> 00:57:22,560
Contemos consigo para fazer uma identificação,que será útil para nós.
649
00:57:22,647 --> 00:57:23,682
Diga?
650
00:57:23,767 --> 00:57:25,997
Certo. Vou já tratar disso.
651
00:57:28,007 --> 00:57:29,679
You're Signora Meldrew?
652
00:57:29,767 --> 00:57:31,280
Yes What's happened?
653
00:57:31,967 --> 00:57:35,277
We'd like you both to go to the hospital mortuary
654
00:57:36,007 --> 00:57:37,645
to make an identification
655
00:57:45,807 --> 00:57:49,800
Tenho muita pena de vos fazer vir aquiem circunstâncias tão trágicas.
656
00:57:49,887 --> 00:57:53,926
He say he's very sorry to bring you here
under such circumstances
657
00:57:54,207 --> 00:57:58,678
Peço-vos que se preparem para um choque.Não é uma visão muito agradável.
658
00:57:59,087 --> 00:58:03,126
He say to prepare yourself
as it is not a very pleasant sight
659
00:58:03,287 --> 00:58:07,041
Tanto quanto sabemos que o pé da senhorafoi engolido por um tubarão.
660
00:58:07,687 --> 00:58:11,646
He say it appears
that her foot was bitten off by a shark
661
00:58:11,967 --> 00:58:13,958
Oh, my God!
662
00:58:30,847 --> 00:58:32,200
MARGARET: Is this it?
663
00:58:32,287 --> 00:58:35,882
O senhor tome o tempo que quiser,mas veja se reconhece o pé.
664
00:58:35,967 --> 00:58:39,721
He say take your time and tell him
if you recognise it
665
00:58:41,687 --> 00:58:44,838
Tell him if we Well, is this all there is?
666
00:58:45,207 --> 00:58:46,799
Excuse me?
667
00:58:46,887 --> 00:58:49,242
We thought we were coming here
to look at a body
668
00:58:49,327 --> 00:58:52,046
I mean, where the devil has this come from,
for heaven's sake?
669
00:58:52,127 --> 00:58:53,879
Ele quer saber de onde é o pé.
670
00:58:53,967 --> 00:58:56,276
Foi um pescador de Porches que o trouxe.
671
00:58:56,367 --> 00:58:58,676
Encontrou-o nos intestinos do barracuda morto.
672
00:58:58,887 --> 00:59:02,084
O meu trabalho é tentar descobrira quem pertence o pé.
673
00:59:02,167 --> 00:59:07,400
He say a fisherman from Porches
find it in the stomach of a dead barracuda
674
00:59:07,607 --> 00:59:10,440
Now we try to find out who it belongs to
675
00:59:11,407 --> 00:59:13,125
Find out who it
676
00:59:13,567 --> 00:59:16,764
What is this?
A new version of Cinderella by David Lynch?
677
00:59:17,207 --> 00:59:18,799
My wife's upset enough as it is
678
00:59:18,887 --> 00:59:22,004
without you shoving
these grizzly atrocities like this under our
679
00:59:22,087 --> 00:59:23,805
Wait Wait, just a minute
680
00:59:24,967 --> 00:59:26,559
That's not her foot
681
00:59:26,647 --> 00:59:28,478
What do you mean?
682
00:59:28,567 --> 00:59:32,321
She had a large bunion on her big toe
She showed it to me two months ago
683
00:59:32,407 --> 00:59:33,760
Are you sure?
684
00:59:33,847 --> 00:59:36,566
And she always cuts her toenails neater than that
685
00:59:36,647 --> 00:59:38,365
No I'm positive
686
00:59:39,007 --> 00:59:42,522
Whoever this belonged to,
it definitely wasn't Jean
687
00:59:44,127 --> 00:59:46,561
(MRS WARBOYS MUMBLING)
688
00:59:59,087 --> 01:00:01,806
(OVER INTERCOM)
Dr Cardoso na cardiologia imediatamente.
689
01:00:02,207 --> 01:00:06,120
Dr Cardoso na cardiologia imediatamente.
690
01:00:10,447 --> 01:00:14,360
One of us is going to have to ring him
and it's not going to be me
691
01:00:15,247 --> 01:00:18,125
Poor man's already lost one wife over a cliff
692
01:00:18,767 --> 01:00:22,237
What does he use?
Some sort of kamikaze dating agency?
693
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:30,880
I just cannot believe she was left there like that,
694
01:00:31,887 --> 01:00:33,479
in that condition,
695
01:00:34,647 --> 01:00:38,640
next to a complete sheer drop,
696
01:00:40,087 --> 01:00:41,679
in total darkness
697
01:00:42,807 --> 01:00:45,879
Yes, now, no point blaming yourself
698
01:00:50,407 --> 01:00:52,045
How can you sit and
699
01:00:53,807 --> 01:00:55,604
I wouldn't put it past you
700
01:00:55,687 --> 01:00:57,917
to have trussed her up in a sack
and thrown her in
701
01:00:58,007 --> 01:00:59,326
Oh, for goodness sake!
702
01:00:59,407 --> 01:01:02,285
You have never liked the woman
as long as you've known her
703
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,722
To you, she was just a gibbering old bat
704
01:01:04,807 --> 01:01:08,117
who called round twice a week
to polish off our digestive biscuits
705
01:01:09,247 --> 01:01:12,956
''A plague of locusts with earrings'',
was it, you called her?
706
01:01:15,567 --> 01:01:18,365
You never took a thing she said seriously
707
01:01:18,447 --> 01:01:21,120
or had so much as a civil word for her
708
01:01:21,607 --> 01:01:23,723
Well, I just hope you're satisfied
709
01:01:23,807 --> 01:01:25,081
Margaret
710
01:01:25,167 --> 01:01:28,876
Oh, bugger off
I'm in no mood for your gormless drivel either
711
01:01:28,967 --> 01:01:30,525
Thank you very
712
01:01:35,927 --> 01:01:37,201
Jean!
713
01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:00,486
Yeah
714
01:02:00,567 --> 01:02:01,966
All right, hon
715
01:02:02,047 --> 01:02:03,480
Yeah Love you
716
01:02:04,007 --> 01:02:05,156
Bye
717
01:02:07,247 --> 01:02:09,397
A fisherman's offered to drive him over so
718
01:02:09,487 --> 01:02:11,478
Oh, I can't believe it
719
01:02:12,407 --> 01:02:14,045
So how did he sound?
720
01:02:14,127 --> 01:02:17,563
Oh, he sounded tired, I suppose
721
01:02:18,047 --> 01:02:20,117
Maybe he'll grab some sleep on the way back
722
01:02:20,367 --> 01:02:21,800
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
723
01:02:21,887 --> 01:02:24,162
(SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE)
724
01:03:08,807 --> 01:03:10,843
I haven't even put any of it on today
725
01:03:10,927 --> 01:03:13,395
Go on, get out of here Shush
726
01:03:18,247 --> 01:03:22,957
Bloody aftershave I can't walk five yards now
without getting a snout up my backside
727
01:03:23,047 --> 01:03:26,403
Who runs their marketing research department?
Muffin the Mule?
728
01:03:27,247 --> 01:03:28,760
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
729
01:03:28,847 --> 01:03:30,200
I'll get it
730
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:37,397
(SIGHING)
731
01:05:02,967 --> 01:05:05,561
Water's not heating up properly in that tap now
732
01:05:05,647 --> 01:05:08,400
Think it must be a fault in the boiler
Do you know anything about
733
01:05:08,487 --> 01:05:09,966
(DOOR BANGING)
734
01:05:15,767 --> 01:05:18,076
Oh, God!
735
01:05:18,567 --> 01:05:20,762
I never thought I'd see you again
736
01:05:20,887 --> 01:05:22,445
How do you feel?
737
01:05:23,167 --> 01:05:24,680
How do I feel?
738
01:05:26,767 --> 01:05:30,077
I've just spent seven hours
of total sensory deprivation
739
01:05:30,167 --> 01:05:33,239
throwing up
and pulling live herrings out of my underpants,
740
01:05:34,287 --> 01:05:37,643
only to be driven back here by a trained chimp
741
01:05:38,087 --> 01:05:42,080
inside a vehicle with all the comfort
of a runaway cement mixer
742
01:05:43,087 --> 01:05:47,000
All because Wacky Races across the road
743
01:05:47,087 --> 01:05:49,442
tells me someone's fallen into the sea,
744
01:05:49,527 --> 01:05:52,439
when all that's happened
is her bloody shoe's come off!
745
01:05:52,967 --> 01:05:55,197
And you want to know how I feel?
746
01:05:56,927 --> 01:06:00,044
In words of one sodding syllable,
747
01:06:00,127 --> 01:06:02,243
this is how I feel!
748
01:06:02,327 --> 01:06:05,205
-Hugo!
-Yes, yes, you can do it
749
01:06:05,327 --> 01:06:07,636
Go, go, go, go, go!
750
01:06:13,927 --> 01:06:15,645
It's in there
751
01:06:15,727 --> 01:06:17,877
I always knew it was in there
752
01:06:20,087 --> 01:06:21,440
I think I need a bath
753
01:06:49,167 --> 01:06:52,045
-MARGARET: Are we coming back here after lunch?
-I expect so
754
01:06:52,127 --> 01:06:54,595
I might go and apologise
to that bloke over the road later on
755
01:06:54,687 --> 01:06:56,200
for last night and everything
756
01:06:56,287 --> 01:06:57,766
Right
757
01:07:28,047 --> 01:07:29,878
Excuse me
758
01:07:29,967 --> 01:07:31,082
Hang on
759
01:07:31,167 --> 01:07:33,237
Take that, will you? Obrigada.
760
01:07:48,127 --> 01:07:50,163
So, there
761
01:07:51,607 --> 01:07:53,962
Obviously you would like some time
762
01:07:54,047 --> 01:07:58,086
I cannot expect you to give an answer right away
763
01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,879
(CHUCKLING) Oh
764
01:08:01,487 --> 01:08:05,719
I know it's barely a week
since we met face to face,
765
01:08:05,807 --> 01:08:08,116
but, of course
766
01:08:09,207 --> 01:08:11,482
over the years, really, I've
767
01:08:12,327 --> 01:08:14,921
I feel I've got to know you
768
01:08:15,007 --> 01:08:16,326
(PHONE RINGING)
769
01:08:16,407 --> 01:08:17,601
I'm sorry
770
01:08:18,407 --> 01:08:20,284
It will be that business call
771
01:08:20,927 --> 01:08:22,599
Please forgive me, Jean
772
01:08:24,167 --> 01:08:25,839
My mouth's gone quite dry
773
01:08:27,327 --> 01:08:29,158
I'll go and get us a refill
774
01:08:38,327 --> 01:08:40,397
MARTIN: No, fair's fair
775
01:08:40,487 --> 01:08:42,364
No, I've mucked you about
776
01:08:42,447 --> 01:08:45,519
No, I understand I have mucked you about
777
01:08:45,607 --> 01:08:47,802
Tell you what I'll do New offer
778
01:08:47,887 --> 01:08:51,197
I'm prepared to let you have it for 1 00 grand
779
01:08:51,287 --> 01:08:54,245
less the cost of processing and developing,
780
01:08:54,327 --> 01:08:58,240
which, according to my notes here, comes to
781
01:08:58,327 --> 01:09:05,085
Ł999,99567
782
01:09:05,887 --> 01:09:11,245
Or about Ł5 for every bone I've had broken
in my body getting the bloody thing back
783
01:09:12,487 --> 01:09:14,398
Yeah, it should be here in a second, yeah
784
01:09:14,487 --> 01:09:17,445
Yeah, on its way Hot from the presses
785
01:09:17,527 --> 01:09:19,199
-Obrigada.
-There, sir
786
01:09:19,967 --> 01:09:24,279
Yeah You'll be pleased to hear
that I have in my hand the merchandise
787
01:09:24,487 --> 01:09:27,877
Prints and negatives of a set of photographs
788
01:09:27,967 --> 01:09:30,845
that is going to send
shock waves throughout the
789
01:09:32,327 --> 01:09:34,204
What the bloody hell is this?
790
01:09:34,287 --> 01:09:36,005
This isn't the film I gave you
791
01:09:36,087 --> 01:09:37,679
What're you trying to do to me?
792
01:09:37,767 --> 01:09:41,646
Este é o rolo que vocé me deu para revelar.Por que eu havia de querer enganá-lo?
793
01:09:41,727 --> 01:09:45,481
Essas são as fotografias que estavam nele.Eu não tenho culpa, homem.
794
01:09:46,407 --> 01:09:47,601
Oh, no
795
01:09:48,927 --> 01:09:52,363
This is some kind of cruel joke
796
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:58,046
I bet I
797
01:09:59,047 --> 01:10:01,607
It's coming back to me now
798
01:10:02,367 --> 01:10:05,086
For some reason...
799
01:10:05,207 --> 01:10:08,358
-but there was nobody here
-It's all clear.
800
01:10:08,447 --> 01:10:11,519
She never had it in the first place
801
01:10:11,607 --> 01:10:15,282
because it never fell on the floor in the first place
802
01:10:15,367 --> 01:10:19,599
because I'd already put it back in my pocket
803
01:10:20,047 --> 01:10:22,959
I have travelled halfway across bloody Europe
804
01:10:23,047 --> 01:10:26,244
getting half killed, looking for a roll of film
805
01:10:26,327 --> 01:10:30,878
that all the time was inside the lining
of my own bleeding jacket!
806
01:11:33,127 --> 01:11:36,005
Sim. Obrigada.
807
01:13:18,207 --> 01:13:19,606
What are you doing?
808
01:13:23,807 --> 01:13:26,879
You kept them all this time
809
01:13:31,727 --> 01:13:33,604
One on the cliff,
810
01:13:33,687 --> 01:13:35,086
one on the rocks?
811
01:13:36,327 --> 01:13:38,477
That's how they were found?
812
01:13:40,847 --> 01:13:42,565
Please put them down, Jean
813
01:13:43,527 --> 01:13:45,961
These are the shoes she was wearing
814
01:13:46,727 --> 01:13:48,046
the day she fell?
815
01:13:51,807 --> 01:13:52,922
No
816
01:13:54,287 --> 01:13:57,518
I don't think she did fall from that cliff at all
817
01:13:59,567 --> 01:14:01,558
-What are you trying
-Look!
818
01:14:02,567 --> 01:14:04,205
Look at them, Alfonso
819
01:14:05,167 --> 01:14:06,725
Can't you see?
820
01:14:06,807 --> 01:14:10,846
Couldn't anyone see
what's staring you in the face?
821
01:14:10,927 --> 01:14:12,155
I
822
01:14:13,607 --> 01:14:15,677
They are both
823
01:14:15,767 --> 01:14:17,200
left shoes
824
01:14:19,127 --> 01:14:20,446
Both
825
01:14:21,767 --> 01:14:23,723
But that isn't possible
826
01:14:23,807 --> 01:14:25,798
They're from two different pairs
827
01:14:27,047 --> 01:14:28,765
They're not identical
828
01:14:29,807 --> 01:14:32,844
but they're quite similar enough
for someone in a hurry
829
01:14:32,967 --> 01:14:36,039
to pick them both up thinking they went together
830
01:14:37,207 --> 01:14:38,959
and plant them on the cliff
831
01:14:40,087 --> 01:14:41,679
with a torn dress
832
01:14:42,887 --> 01:14:45,924
to make it look as if there'd been an accident
833
01:14:51,727 --> 01:14:57,040
No woman
would ever have made this mistake, Alfonso
834
01:15:32,807 --> 01:15:35,401
Mind your legs I'll just give you a top-up
835
01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:39,366
(SIGHING)
836
01:15:40,687 --> 01:15:41,915
Sorry about this
837
01:15:42,047 --> 01:15:44,197
Think the pilot went out or something
838
01:15:44,287 --> 01:15:46,084
Your dad's having a look at it now
839
01:15:47,647 --> 01:15:49,126
That's the business
840
01:15:51,367 --> 01:15:52,595
Oh, yes
841
01:15:52,687 --> 01:15:53,915
(DOORBELL RINGING)
842
01:15:54,007 --> 01:15:55,156
I'll get it
843
01:15:59,287 --> 01:16:01,005
Oh, hello
844
01:16:01,087 --> 01:16:03,885
I Is your husband in?
845
01:16:03,967 --> 01:16:06,845
I think I owe him an apology
for last night and everything
846
01:16:06,927 --> 01:16:09,395
He's in the bath at the moment
If you'd just like to wait a sec
847
01:16:09,527 --> 01:16:11,597
HUMPHREY: Shirley, can you
give me a hand in here?
848
01:16:11,687 --> 01:16:12,722
Hang on
849
01:16:12,807 --> 01:16:14,559
I'm needed in the kitchen
850
01:16:14,647 --> 01:16:16,558
(TAPPING)
851
01:16:38,167 --> 01:16:39,805
For goodness sake!
852
01:16:39,887 --> 01:16:41,400
Out! Come on
853
01:16:41,887 --> 01:16:44,276
Will you stop following me?
854
01:16:46,127 --> 01:16:48,197
Where did you come from anyway?
855
01:16:48,287 --> 01:16:49,561
Out
856
01:16:50,287 --> 01:16:52,596
For goodness sakes
857
01:16:55,207 --> 01:16:56,640
Come on
858
01:16:59,607 --> 01:17:00,676
Shh!
859
01:17:01,647 --> 01:17:03,638
Will you stop following me?
860
01:17:15,407 --> 01:17:17,398
(DONKEY URINATING)
861
01:17:21,287 --> 01:17:22,720
Oh, yes
862
01:17:23,767 --> 01:17:25,325
Some of that
863
01:17:26,567 --> 01:17:27,841
That's nice
864
01:17:29,447 --> 01:17:31,278
You're doing a terrific job
865
01:17:33,727 --> 01:17:35,080
That's lovely
866
01:17:36,967 --> 01:17:38,036
Thanks
867
01:17:41,047 --> 01:17:42,605
Just absol
868
01:17:54,287 --> 01:17:56,278
How are you this morning?
869
01:18:06,647 --> 01:18:08,763
Should have expected it really
870
01:18:09,967 --> 01:18:12,481
All the people on holiday in Portugal,
871
01:18:12,567 --> 01:18:15,525
you have to pick a fight with a professional boxer
872
01:18:16,727 --> 01:18:18,524
No wonder he went berserk
873
01:18:19,207 --> 01:18:21,482
I should think that's the first time
874
01:18:21,567 --> 01:18:24,798
a donkey's ever been floored with a left hook
875
01:18:27,167 --> 01:18:28,839
How's that going down?
876
01:18:29,527 --> 01:18:30,846
All right?
877
01:18:31,847 --> 01:18:34,077
Can you manage any more or
878
01:18:34,327 --> 01:18:36,318
(MUMBLING)
879
01:18:45,647 --> 01:18:46,841
Right
880
01:18:51,527 --> 01:18:53,438
Jean is late
881
01:18:54,047 --> 01:18:56,515
I hope everything is all right over there
882
01:18:57,967 --> 01:19:02,518
She said she had a feeling
Alfonso might propose to her today
883
01:19:04,727 --> 01:19:07,366
Perhaps I'll just give them a quick ring
884
01:19:15,887 --> 01:19:17,843
(MUMBLING)
885
01:19:22,247 --> 01:19:23,475
Yes
886
01:19:23,647 --> 01:19:25,205
I expect so
887
01:19:32,327 --> 01:19:35,160
It's ringing, but there's no answer
888
01:19:37,847 --> 01:19:40,122
(PHONE RINGING)
889
01:20:13,327 --> 01:20:15,045
Something's wrong
890
01:20:15,567 --> 01:20:17,239
I have that feeling
891
01:20:17,727 --> 01:20:20,287
Something I don't know
892
01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:22,284
(MUMBLING)
893
01:20:24,287 --> 01:20:29,407
(MUMBLING) You're justto go over there
watch televisionin the first place
894
01:20:29,487 --> 01:20:31,398
It's ever since you've said that,
895
01:20:32,327 --> 01:20:34,682
about why there were no pictures of his wife
896
01:20:35,327 --> 01:20:38,364
And that night in the restaurant,
with those murder stories
897
01:20:38,447 --> 01:20:40,483
Why would he get all agitated?
898
01:20:41,607 --> 01:20:44,804
I think we should go over there, Victor Now!
899
01:20:45,487 --> 01:20:47,603
(VICTOR MUMBLING PROTESTS)
900
01:20:51,527 --> 01:20:53,404
Well, yes No!
901
01:20:53,487 --> 01:20:55,045
I don't know
902
01:20:55,127 --> 01:20:59,200
Look, I'll drive Just stick your shoes on
903
01:20:59,367 --> 01:21:02,279
Quickly I hate to think what we might find
904
01:21:12,127 --> 01:21:13,355
Jean?
905
01:21:22,327 --> 01:21:25,603
MRS WARBOYS: It's funny how you can
go on deceiving yourself,
906
01:21:25,687 --> 01:21:29,077
ignoring what your insides
have been telling you all the time
907
01:21:31,567 --> 01:21:32,920
It was
908
01:21:34,287 --> 01:21:36,198
whenever I mentioned her name
909
01:21:37,927 --> 01:21:39,758
something happened to his eyes
910
01:21:41,327 --> 01:21:44,285
Suddenly he wasn't looking at me anymore
911
01:21:45,527 --> 01:21:46,676
she never came back
912
01:21:46,767 --> 01:21:48,280
He was looking through me.
913
01:21:48,367 --> 01:21:49,641
They found one of her shoes
914
01:21:49,727 --> 01:21:51,399
Back to another world.
915
01:21:51,487 --> 01:21:55,036
-on top of the cliffs
-A world he could never recapture.
916
01:21:56,487 --> 01:21:58,478
When I saw the shoes,
917
01:21:58,567 --> 01:22:02,196
that's when I started to guessthat the whole thing was an invention.
918
01:22:03,447 --> 01:22:05,642
The torn dress on the rocks...
919
01:22:05,727 --> 01:22:07,922
even the handbag in the sea.
920
01:22:08,807 --> 01:22:11,082
It all added up to one thing.
921
01:22:12,967 --> 01:22:15,606
His wife had faked her own death
922
01:22:16,967 --> 01:22:18,878
to go and live with someone else
923
01:22:19,927 --> 01:22:21,519
Faked her own death?
924
01:22:21,727 --> 01:22:23,763
Alfonso worshipped Maria
925
01:22:24,607 --> 01:22:26,245
She was his life
926
01:22:27,367 --> 01:22:30,757
She knew that if she just ran away,
he'd only come after her
927
01:22:31,327 --> 01:22:33,557
Hound her to the end of his days
928
01:22:34,687 --> 01:22:37,804
She had to make him believe
she was gone forever
929
01:22:39,247 --> 01:22:40,362
Well
930
01:22:41,847 --> 01:22:45,203
even at the suggestion
another man had been in the house
931
01:22:45,287 --> 01:22:47,482
helping her to plant the evidence,
932
01:22:47,567 --> 01:22:50,639
it was as if I wasn't there anymore
933
01:22:58,047 --> 01:23:00,481
Everything that was sacred to her memory
934
01:23:00,567 --> 01:23:03,001
he'd kept hidden away in the cellar.
935
01:23:03,087 --> 01:23:05,317
He just couldn't let go.
936
01:23:05,407 --> 01:23:10,527
He started searching thenthrough all her belongings for some sort of clue.
937
01:23:10,607 --> 01:23:14,202
He said he had to know for certain if it was true.
938
01:23:14,887 --> 01:23:16,878
Then suddenly he remembered.
939
01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:18,639
A few years before,
940
01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:22,402
a business trip she'd made to Faro,to see a male colleague.
941
01:23:23,527 --> 01:23:27,998
At the time, he half suspectedshe might have been...
942
01:23:29,487 --> 01:23:30,840
Well...
943
01:23:32,247 --> 01:23:35,000
from somewhere he found a phone number...
944
01:23:36,927 --> 01:23:38,519
and, of course,
945
01:23:38,607 --> 01:23:40,484
who should answer it, but...
946
01:23:40,567 --> 01:23:41,761
Maria
947
01:23:43,287 --> 01:23:44,606
Alfonso
948
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:47,155
Inácio. Inácio.
949
01:23:47,247 --> 01:23:50,159
After that there was no reasoning with him.
950
01:23:50,847 --> 01:23:54,078
Mas tu não vias que nunca me podiater ido simplesmente embora.
951
01:23:54,207 --> 01:23:57,244
MRS WARBOYS: He said he neededsome time to himself now.
952
01:23:57,327 --> 01:23:58,680
Please, Jean
953
01:23:58,767 --> 01:24:02,123
MRS WARBOYS: That it wouldn't changeanything between the two of us.
954
01:24:03,287 --> 01:24:06,199
To wait a couple of days and he'd call me
955
01:24:07,727 --> 01:24:09,877
and we'd pick up where we left off.
956
01:24:09,967 --> 01:24:13,596
This makes no difference between us
957
01:24:13,687 --> 01:24:15,882
I will call you in two days
958
01:24:17,127 --> 01:24:19,322
MRS WARBOYS: And I knew then
959
01:24:20,567 --> 01:24:22,762
that I'd never see him again.
960
01:24:30,367 --> 01:24:34,076
I'm sorry I was in a bit of a state
when I got back last night
961
01:24:35,167 --> 01:24:38,762
I'm afraid it's all rather knocked me for six
962
01:24:41,567 --> 01:24:43,797
(MUMBLING)
963
01:24:49,487 --> 01:24:51,603
turned out for the best
964
01:24:52,847 --> 01:24:55,441
You never said a truer word, Mr Meldrew,
965
01:24:56,647 --> 01:24:58,877
and I appreciate that very much
966
01:25:38,967 --> 01:25:40,798
Aah! Ow!
967
01:25:49,807 --> 01:25:51,479
(MARTIN SCREAMING)
968
01:26:09,167 --> 01:26:10,646
Strange
969
01:26:11,887 --> 01:26:15,323
I wasn't all that keen
on coming to Portugal at first,
970
01:26:16,367 --> 01:26:18,403
but now that we're about to leave,
971
01:26:18,487 --> 01:26:21,445
I never want to see the bloody place again
as long as I live
972
01:26:22,607 --> 01:26:25,326
Yes, that's the good thing
about having a really miserable holiday
973
01:26:25,407 --> 01:26:27,921
It makes the going home such a positive joy
974
01:26:29,447 --> 01:26:31,597
Like the last time we got back
from our holiday abroad
975
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,518
to find our house had been demolished
976
01:26:33,607 --> 01:26:37,839
Oh, yes
Funny, you can laugh about it now, can't you?
977
01:26:41,287 --> 01:26:43,039
I suppose you can't, really
978
01:26:43,927 --> 01:26:45,121
Well
979
01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:49,956
I guess we'll have to look lively in minute
980
01:26:51,167 --> 01:26:53,681
We've got a long drive back to the airport
981
01:26:54,287 --> 01:26:57,040
Make sure I've got my passport and everything
982
01:26:58,327 --> 01:27:01,125
Oh, yes I haven't seen those yet, have I?
983
01:27:01,247 --> 01:27:04,159
-What's that? Another album's worth?
-Yes
984
01:27:04,807 --> 01:27:07,799
That roll of film, you know, we thought we'd lost
985
01:27:08,407 --> 01:27:10,637
Found it in the car yesterday
986
01:27:10,727 --> 01:27:13,446
Must've fallen out of
someone's pocket or something
987
01:27:13,527 --> 01:27:15,518
when they were in the back seat
988
01:27:16,007 --> 01:27:18,282
Now, if I'm right,
989
01:27:18,367 --> 01:27:21,916
these should start the day
we drove down through the mountains
990
01:27:22,127 --> 01:27:23,560
Where are we?
991
01:27:28,967 --> 01:27:30,195
My God
992
01:27:30,287 --> 01:27:32,403
-VICTOR: What is it?
-What's wrong?
993
01:27:34,567 --> 01:27:36,285
Is that
994
01:27:37,647 --> 01:27:40,605
Oh, surely not
995
01:27:40,727 --> 01:27:43,002
Or is it someone who just looks like him?
996
01:27:44,487 --> 01:27:46,478
It can't be him
997
01:27:47,287 --> 01:27:49,243
Look, where did these come from?
998
01:27:50,127 --> 01:27:51,526
How should I know?
999
01:27:52,287 --> 01:27:54,243
Where do things ever come
1000
01:27:55,607 --> 01:27:58,883
Oh, my God, look It gets worse
1001
01:28:02,367 --> 01:28:06,360
Do you see what they're doing in this one,
Mr Meldrew?
1002
01:28:09,167 --> 01:28:11,635
Something beginning with ''H''
1003
01:28:18,207 --> 01:28:19,481
MARGARET: No
1004
01:28:20,167 --> 01:28:23,000
It's one of those professional lookalikes
or something
1005
01:28:23,087 --> 01:28:24,520
It must be
1006
01:28:25,727 --> 01:28:28,321
It's just a practical joke
1007
01:28:28,407 --> 01:28:30,762
by whoever had the car before us
1008
01:28:31,207 --> 01:28:33,880
It's filth, whatever it is,
1009
01:28:33,967 --> 01:28:36,435
and I don't want to look at any more of it
1010
01:28:47,327 --> 01:28:49,079
Well
1011
01:28:49,167 --> 01:28:51,362
I suppose we'd better ask for the bill
1012
01:28:51,447 --> 01:28:52,800
Time's getting on
1013
01:28:55,167 --> 01:28:57,044
Conta, por favor.
1014
01:28:57,767 --> 01:29:00,679
I've got some Portuguese money I could pay
1015
01:29:00,767 --> 01:29:02,917
MARGARET: Are you sure?
1016
01:29:35,487 --> 01:29:37,364
(SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE)
1017
01:29:38,247 --> 01:29:40,636
Airport please, aeroporto.
1018
01:29:40,807 --> 01:29:42,843
Quick as you can, please
1019
01:29:42,927 --> 01:29:44,519
(GASPING)
1020
01:30:05,007 --> 01:30:07,919
Do you need to go anywhere before we leave,
Mr Meldrew?
1021
01:30:08,007 --> 01:30:10,123
No, thank you
1022
01:30:10,207 --> 01:30:13,119
MRS WARBOYS: It's funny how the penicillin
never managed to clear it up
1023
01:30:13,207 --> 01:30:14,799
VICTOR: Do you mind
if we talk about something else?
1024
01:30:14,887 --> 01:30:16,559
MRS WARBOYS: Am I driving us back?
1025
01:30:16,647 --> 01:30:20,037
VICTOR: I thought I'd hitch a ride on
a giant slug this time to speed things up
1026
01:30:20,207 --> 01:30:21,606
(CRASHING)
1027
01:30:21,687 --> 01:30:22,915
(MARTIN SCREAMING)
1028
01:30:27,687 --> 01:30:30,440
# They say I might as well face the truth
1029
01:30:31,007 --> 01:30:33,919
# That I am just too long in the tooth
1030
01:30:34,407 --> 01:30:37,399
# I've started to deteriorate
1031
01:30:38,047 --> 01:30:40,925
#And now I've passed my own sell-by date
1032
01:30:41,287 --> 01:30:45,360
# So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways
1033
01:30:45,447 --> 01:30:48,803
# It's true that my body has seen better days
1034
01:30:48,887 --> 01:30:52,436
# But give me half a chanceand I can still misbehave
1035
01:30:52,607 --> 01:30:54,996
# One foot in the grave
1036
01:30:56,047 --> 01:30:59,084
# One foot in the grave
1037
01:30:59,887 --> 01:31:02,242
VICTOR: Hello! Hello!
1038
01:31:02,647 --> 01:31:06,401
Hello. Oh, hell... I can't hear myself think!
1039
01:31:07,007 --> 01:31:08,679
Stop it!
1040
01:31:09,567 --> 01:31:12,445
Will you turn off that ruddy racket?
1041
01:31:16,007 --> 01:31:18,999
# They tell me I am well past my prime
1042
01:31:19,447 --> 01:31:22,439
# The landlord in the sky's calling time
1043
01:31:23,007 --> 01:31:25,840
# But there's one thing that he ought to know
1044
01:31:26,487 --> 01:31:29,524
# I am not yet ready to go
1045
01:31:30,007 --> 01:31:33,556
# So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, but don't shed a tear
1046
01:31:34,007 --> 01:31:37,079
# I'm not exactly a little old dear
1047
01:31:37,567 --> 01:31:40,843
# One thing's for sure, I'm still bloody well here
1048
01:31:41,367 --> 01:31:43,483
# One foot in the grave
1049
01:31:44,407 --> 01:31:46,841
# One foot in the grave
1050
01:31:47,687 --> 01:31:50,440
# One foot in the grave #
81616
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.