All language subtitles for Home Alone (1990) [2160p HDR BluRay FGT].SDH

- [People Chattering]
- [Phone Ringing]

- [ Man ] Answer the phone.
- [ Woman ] Where's my suitcase?

[ Girl ] I'm going downstairs.
Who stole my hair dryer?

- Miss. Young lady. Excuse me. Girls.
- [ Chattering ]

- Hey, hey, little fella.
- [ Shouting ]

- Excuse me, girls. Girls.
- Take the witches!

Hey. Hey, big fella. Excuse me.

Come help me make up
these beds in the living room!

Excuse me. Ma'am!

- Hi. Hey, son! Son!
- Who stole my book bag?

Big fella! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Little guy. Little guy!

Pete's brother and his family
are here. Oh, it's crazy.

- [ Woman ] Trish is going to Montreal.
- Montreal?

- Uh-huh.
- That's right. Her family's there.

- And we're off.
- When do you leave?

- Tomorrow.
- You're not ready, are you?

Mom! Uncle Frank won't let me watch
the movie, but the big kids can.

- Why can't I?
- Kevin, I'm on the phone.

When do you come back? Not till then?

It's not even rated "R."
He's just being a jerk.

Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no,

then it must be really bad.

We're not bringing the dog.
We're putting him--

Hey, hey, hey! Get off.
Kevin, out of the room.

Hang up the phone and make me,
why don't ya?

Oh, this kid.

Kate, did you by any chance
pick up a voltage adapter thing?

I didn't have time to do that.

How am I supposed to shave in France?

- Grow a goatee.
- Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.

I've got something for you to do.

Pick up those Micro Machines that are
all over in there.

Aunt Leslie stepped on one
and almost broke her neck.

He was in the garage again,
playing with the glue gun.

Didn't we talk about that?

Did I burn down the joint?
I don't think so.

- I was making ornaments out of fishhooks.
- My new fishhooks?

I can't make ornaments out of the old
ones, with dry worm guts stuck on 'em.

- Peter.
- Come on, Kevin. Out.

Peter, Kate, do you guys
have a voltage adapter?

- Here! Here's a voltage adapter.
- Oh, you're getting heavy.

Go pack your suitcase.

Pack my suitcase?

- Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller?
- I don't live here.

A house with this many people,
there's no shampoo?

- Are your parents home?
- Yeah, but they don't live here.

- Tracy, did you order the pizza?
- Buzz did.

- Excuse me, miss. Are your parents here?
- My parents live in Paris. Sorry.

- Hi!
- Hi!

- Are your parents home?
- Yeah.

- Do they live here?
- No.

No. Why should they? All kids, no parents.
Probably a fancy orphanage.

I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've
never done this once in my whole life.

- Tough.
- That's what Megan said.

- What did I say?
- You told Kevin, "Tough."

The dope was whining about a suitcase.
What am I supposed to do?

Shake his hand and say,
"Congratulations, you're an idiot"?

- I'm not an idiot!
- Oh, really? You're completely helpless!

- Everyone has to do everything for you.
- She's right, Kev.

Excuse me, puke-breath.

I'm a lot smaller than you.
I don't know how to pack a suitcase.

- I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff.
- Shut up, Linnie.

Do you know what I should pack?

Buzz told you, cheek-face.
Toilet paper and water.

Listen, Kev, what are
you so worried about?

You know mom's gonna pack
your stuff anyway.

You're what the French call
les incompetents.

- What?
- Bombs away!

[ Banging Loudly ]

P.S. You have to sleep
on the hide-a-bed with Fuller.

If he has something to drink,
he's gonna wet the bed.

This house is so full of people,
it makes me sick!

When I grow up and get married,
I'm livin' alone!

Did you hear me? I'm livin' alone!

I'm livin'alone!

Who's gonna feed your spider
while we're gone?

He just ate a whole load of mice guts. He
should be good for a couple weeks.

Is it true that French babes
don't shave their pits?

Some don't.

But they got nude beaches.

Not in the winter.

[ Tape Playing, Rewinding ]

- Buzz?
- Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?

Can I sleep in your room?
I don't want to sleep with Fuller.

If he has something to drink,
he'll wet the bed.

I wouldn't let you sleep
in my room if you were growing on my ass.

[ Object Clattering]

Check it out. Old man Marley.

Who is he?

[ Buzz ] You ever heard of
the South Bend Shovel Slayer?

- [Boy] No.
- That's him.

Back in '58, he murdered his whole family
and half the people on his block...

with a snow shovel.

Been hiding out in this
neighborhood ever since.

Well, if he's the Shovel Slayer,
how come the cops don't arrest him?

Not enough evidence to convict.

They never found the bodies.

But everyone around here knows he did it.

Now it'll just be a matter of time
before he does it again.

What's he doin' now?

He walks up and down
the streets every night...

salting the sidewalks.

Maybe he's just trying to be nice.

No way.

See that garbage can full of salt?

That's where he keeps his victims.

The salt turns the bodies...

into mummies.

- Wow.
- Mummies.

- [ Gasps ]
- Look out!

[ Tires Screeching ]

[ Grunting ]

[Policeman]
How you kids doin', huh? Good?

Lot of action around here today, huh?

Goin' on vacation? Where you goin'?

Do you hear me or what? Goin'on a trip?

Where you goin', kid?

- [Knocking]
- [ Grunts ]

Okay, that's 122.50.

Not for me, kid. I don't live here.

- Oh. You just around for the holidays?
- I guess you could say that.

- Hey, pizza's here!
- Here you go. That's 122.50.

It's my brother's house.
He'll take care of it.

- [ Chattering ]
- Hey, listen, uh--

- Hi.
- Hi. Are you Mr. McCallister?

- Yeah.
- The Mr. McCallister who lives here?

- Yes.
- Oh, good, 'cause somebody owes me 122.50.

- I'd like a word with you, sir.
- Am I under arrest or something?

No, no. It's Christmastime. There's always
a lot of burglaries around the holidays.

We're checking the neighborhood to see if
everyone's taking the proper precautions.

Oh, yeah. Well, we have automatic timers
for our lights, locks for our doors.

That's about as well as anybody can do.

- You get some eggnog?
- Come on, Dad.

- Let's eat.
- Come on.

- Eggnog? Listen, are you gonna be leaving.
- Pizza! Pizza!

- Pizza!
- [ Sighs ]

[ Woman ] Grab yourself a napkin. You're
gonna have to pour your own drinks.

Does Santa Claus have
to go through customs?

- What time do we have to go to bed?
- Early.

We're leaving the house
at 8:00 a.m. on the button.

I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to
get rid of it. Hey! Don't you dare.

Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50,
plus a tip.

For pizza?

[Frank] Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.

- Frank, you've got money. Come on.
- Traveler's checks.

Forget it, Frank. We have cash.

[ Peter ] You've probably got traveler's
checks that don't work in France.

Did anyone order me a plain cheese?

Oh, yeah, we did. But if you want any,

somebody's gonna have to barf it all up,
'cause it's gone.

[Leslie] Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.

Kev! Kevin, get a plate. [ Grunting ]

[ Imitates Retching ]

[ Screaming ]

- [ All Shouting ]
- Wow!

The passports! Watch it!

- [Shouting Continues]
- [ Frank ] Help me out here!

Let's get these passports out of here.

- [ Kate ] Kevin, get off of him!
- [ Kevin ] You moron!

Are you okay, honey?
Come here. Are you all right?

What is the matter with you?

He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose.

He knows I hate sausage and olives and--

Look what you did, you little jerk!

- Kevin, get upstairs right now.
- Why?

- Kevin, you're such a disease.
- Shut up.

- Kevin, upstairs!
- Say good night, Kevin.

- Good night, Kevin.
- [ Megan ] Now what's for dinner?

Why do I always get treated like scum?

Oh, I'm sorry. This house is just crazy.

We've got all these
extra kids running around.

My brother-in-law
drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.

How come you didn't
bring more cheese pizzas?

Nice tip. Thanks a lot.

- Thanks.
- Having a reunion or something?

My husband's brother
transferred to Paris last summer...

and his kids are still going
to school here,

and I guess
he missed the whole family.

He's giving us this trip
to Paris so we can be together.

- You're taking a trip to Paris?
- Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Excellent. Excellent.

If you'll excuse me, this one's out of
sorts. I'll be right back.

Don't worry about me. I spoke
to your husband already.

And don't worry about your home.

It's in good hands.

There are 15 people in this house. You're
the only one that has to make trouble.

- I'm the only one getting dumped on.
- You're the only one acting up.

- Now get upstairs.
- I am upstairs, dummy.

- The third floor?
- Go.

It's scary up there.

Don't be silly.
Fuller will be up in a little while.

I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You
know about him. He wets the bed.

He'll pee all over me. I know it.

Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

I'm sorry.

It's too late. Get upstairs.

Everyone in this family hates me.

Then maybe you should ask Santa
for a new family.

I don't want a new family!
I don't want any family! Families suck!

Stay up there. I don't want to see you
again for the rest of the night.

I don't want to see you
for the rest of my life.

And I don't want to see
anybody else either.

I hope you don't mean that.

You'd feel pretty sad
if you woke up tomorrow morning

and you didn't have a family.

- No, I wouldn't.
- Then say it again.

Maybe it'll happen.

I hope I never see
any of you jerks again.

[ Thinking ]
I wish they would all just disappear.

[ Window Shutters Rattling]

[ Beeps ]

[Knocking]

- Where are they?
- I don't know. She said 8:00 sharp.

[Doorbell Ringing]

Peter!

[ Both ] We slept in!

[ All Chattering ]

Hi. I'm Mitch Murphy.
I live across the street.

You guys going out of town?
We're going to Orlando, Florida.

Well, actually, first we're going to
Missouri to pick up my grandma.

Do you know the McCallisters
are going to France?

Do you know if it's cold there? Do these
vans get good gas mileage?

Gee, kid, I don't know. Hit the road.

[ Chattering Continues ]

Heather, do a head count.
Make sure everyone's in the vans.

Where are the passports and tickets?

I put 'em in the microwave to dry 'em off.

How fast does this thing go?

Does it have automatic transmission?
Does it have four-wheel drive?

Look, I told you before, kid,
don't bother me. Now beat it.

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Heather ] Come on. Hurry up.

- Line up in front off the van.
- Did you take my batteries?

- [ Heather ] Line up and shut up!
- Wow!

Shut up. I gotta take a head count.

- One, two, three, four, five--
- Eleven, 92, 12.

Buzz, don't be a moron.

Six, seven, eight,

nine, 10, 11.

Okay. Half in this van,
half in this van. Come on. Let's go.

- [ Chattering ]
- Have a good trip.

Bring me back something French.

There's no way on earth we're gonna make
this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.

- Think positive, Frank.
- You be positive. I'll be realistic.

- Ma'am? Ma'am?
- What?

I wanted to let you know
your power's fixed.

Phone lines are a mess. Gonna take Ma Bell
a couple of days to patch 'em up.

- Especially around the holidays.
- Okay, thanks.

- Heather! Did you count heads?
- Eleven, including me.

Five boys, six girls, four parents, two
drivers and a partridge in a pear tree.

♪♪ [ Rock And Roll ]

♪ Out of all the reindeer
you know you're the mastermind ♪

[ Chattering ]

♪ Run, run, Rudolph
Randolph ain't too far behind ♪

♪ Run, run, Rudolph
Santa's gotta make it to town ♪

♪ Santa, make him hurry Tell him he can
take the freeway down ♪♪

This way!

- Hold the plane!
- [Kate] Did we miss the flight?

- No, you just made it.
- [ All Cheering ]

Single seats only in coach.
Take whatever's free.

Thank you.

- I get a window seat!
- [ Chattering ]

[Peter]
You kids are in coach. We're up here.

Here are your seats.
Five "A" and "B" and four "A" and "B."

- I'll take your coats.
- Thank you.

Fasten your seat belts, please.

- Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.

- We made it.
- Do you believe it?

Hope we didn't forget anything.

What are you doing out of costume?

Now get back and get dressed.

I'm terribly sorry.
I thought you were our Santa Claus.

[ Man ] Your Santa Claus is intoxicated.

- [ Woman] Oh, no.
- Yes.

It's disgraceful!
How can you allow a man--

[Man #2 Singing Drunkenly]
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

[ Woman ] What do you mean by drinking?
You know it's not allowed!

[Man #2]But it's cold.
A man's gotta do something to keep warm.

[Man] I ought to take this cane and--

[ Woman ] Julia, get some black coffee
and plenty of it.

[ Man #2 ] Black with a little cream.

- [ Shuts TV Off ]
- Mom?

Thank you.

- That's real crystal. It's real.
- Yeah. So?

- Put 'em in your purse. Put 'em! Put 'em!
- I can't do that.

Put them in your purse!

Uh, yeah, yeah, fill it up, fill it up.
Fill it up, please.

Thank you.

Don't you feel like a heel flying first
class with the kids back in coach?

No, the kids are fine.

Only flying I ever did as a kid
was in the family station wagon,

and it wasn't to France.

We used to have to go over
to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house.

The kids are okay.
They're having the time of their lives.

Yeah.

Hello?

Mom?

Dad?

Mom? Dad?

Where are you guys?

Buzz?

Buzz?

Buzz?

Megan?

Hello? Hello?

Rod? Uncle Frank?

Uncle Frank, is this a joke?

Megan? Linnie?

Is this a joke?

[ Growling ]

[ Gasps ]

It's only my imagination.
Only my imagination.

The cars are still here.
They didn't go to the airport.

I made my family disappear.

Kevin, you're completely helpless.

You know, Kevin, you're what the French
call les incompetents.

Kevin, I'm going
to feed you to my tarantula.

Kevin, you are such a disease.

There are 15 people in this house...

and you're the only one
who has to make trouble.

Look what you did, you little jerk.

I made my family disappear.

♪♪ [ Rock And Roll ]

I'm free! Free! Free!

[ Shouting ]

[ Screaming ]

Wow!

No clothes on anybody. Sickening!

Cool! Firecrackers!
I'll save these for later.

Buzz, I'm going through
all your private stuff!

You better come out and pound me!

Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!

[ Glass Shatters]

Who is it?

It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.

Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out of here.

[ Snakes ] All right, Johnny.
But what about my money?

[Johnny] What money?

Acey said you had
some dough for me.

Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

Acey said 10%.

Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.

[Snakes] What do you mean?

Guys, I'm eating junk
and watching rubbish!

You better come out and stop me!

[Johnny]
He'll call you when he gets out.

Hey.

I tell you what I'm gonna
give you, Snakes.

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10...

to get your ugly, yellow,

no-good keister off my property...

before I pump your guts full of lead.

All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

One, two, ten!

[ Johnny Laughing ]

[ Gunfire Resumes]

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Mom!

What's the matter?

Honey?

- I have a terrible feeling.
- About what?

That we didn't do something.

Oh, no, you feel that way
because we left in such a hurry.

We took care of everything.
Believe me, we did.

Did I turn off the coffee?

No. I did.

Did you lock up?

Yeah.

Did you close the garage?

That's it. I forgot to close
the garage. That's it.

No, that's not it.

What else could we be forgetting?

Kevin!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Grunts ]

The captain's doing all he can.
Your phones are still out of order.

We'll call as soon as we land, Kate.
I'm sure everything's okay.

It's horrible. Horrible. Just horrible.

How could we do this? We forgot him.

We didn't forget him.
We just... miscounted.

What kind of mother am I?

If it makes you feel any better,
I forgot my reading glasses.

[Policeman]
Five families gone on one block alone.

- They all told me from their own mouths.
- [ Man Chuckles ]

It's almost too easy.

Check it out.
All the houses with nobody home...

have automatic timers on their lights.

But I got it all figured out. Watch this.

Number 664 will be going on...

right about... now.

- Oh.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Number 672,

right... now.

- [Man Chuckles]
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

671... now.

And that's the one, Marvin.
That's the silver tuna.

Oh, it's very "G."

Very "G," huh? It's loaded.

It's got lots of topflight goods.

- Stereos, VCR's.
- Toys.

Probably lookin' at some very fine
jewelry. Possible cash hoard.

Odd marketable securities. Who knows?

It's a gem.

Grab your crowbar.

Crowbars up.

[ Man ] ♪ You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch ♪

♪ You're the king of sinful sots ♪

♪ Your heart's a dead tomato
splotched with moldy purple spots ♪

♪ Mr. Grinch ♪

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich--

- [ Van Doors Close]
- [ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

Which way?

We'll go around back down
the basement. Follow me.

I thought you said they were gone.

They were supposed
to leave this morning.

Let's get out of here.

- [ Van Doors Closing]
- [ Panting ]

[ Van Driving Away ]

[ Woman Speaking French Over P.A. ]

- We have to use the phone, please.
- [ Speaking French ]

It's an emergency.
We really have to make a call.

- Please! Our brother's home alone.
- [ French ]

- Give us the phone!
- Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you.

Peter, I'm gonna call the police. Why
don't you book us a flight home.

Get some change out of here.
Call everybody you know. Oh. Leslie.

Here's my address book. You and Frank call
everybody who lives on our street.

- Maybe somebody can help us.
- [ Man Speaking French ]

Hello? Hello? Hello?
She'll have to call you back.

This is ridiculous.
Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed.

And I can't be a wimp.
I'm the man of the house.

Hey! I'm not afraid anymore!

I said, I'm not afraid anymore!

Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore!

[ Object Clattering]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[Phone Ringing]

Village Police Department.

Hi. Look, I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.

Our phones are out of order,
so I'd like somebody to go to our house...

and tell him we're coming home to get him.

Let me connect you
with Family Crisis Intervention.

- It's not a family crisis.
- Hold on.

Larry, can you pick up? There's some lady
on hold, sounds kind of hyper.

- What line, Rose?
- Uh, two.

Family Crisis Intervention.
Sergeant Balzak.

I am calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.

Has the child been involved
in a violent altercation...

with a drunken and/or mentally ill member
of his immediate family?

No.

Has he been involved
in a household accident?

I don't know. I don't-- I hope not.

Has the child ingested any poison...

and/or any other object
that has become lodged in his throat?

No, he's just home alone! I would like
somebody to go over to the house...

and see that he's all right,
just to check on him.

You want us to go to your house
just to check on him?

Yes!

Let me connect you
with the police department.

- They just transferred me to you.
- Rose?

- Yeah?
- Hyper on two. Hold on, please.

No, please don't hang up.
Please, don't-- Any luck?

No. We couldn't get anybody.

[ Kate ] Leslie?

I'm sorry, Kate. Nothing but
a bunch of answering machines.

Somebody pick up. Pick up!

- Hi, ma'am. It's you again.
- Yeah, hi. Look.

I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone, and I--

Okay, okay. We'll send a policeman over to
your house to check on your son.

[Knocking]

- [Knocking]
- [ Gasps ]

[Knocking]

There's no one home.
The house looks secure.

- Tell 'em to count their kids again.
- [ Man ] Ten-four.

I can't believe you can't
bump somebody or ask somebody--

I'm sorry, but there's
no way I can do that.

Isn't there a way if you ask somebody?

- If you explained this is an emergency.
- I wish I could--

They're sending a policeman over
to the house to check on Kevin.

That's a relief.
Everything here is booked.

There's nothing to Chicago?

There's nothing to Chicago, New York,
Nashville. You name it. Everything's gone.

- What about a private plane?
- No, I'm sorry. We don't do that.

The only thing they have is a booking for
all of us on Friday morning.

Friday morning? That's two days away.

Look, honey,
the kids are exhausted. You are exhausted.

There's absolutely nothing
more we can do in this airport.

I say we go to Rob's, call the police
again, and they can get back to us.

Kevin is home all by himself. I'm not
leaving here unless it's on an airplane.

Madame, we are doing everything we can.

If you want to stay at the airport, maybe
we can get you on standby.

It is a possibility
that a seat will open up.

- Is that okay?
- Yes. I'll wait.

[Man]♪ Bells will be ringing ♪

♪ The glad, glad news ♪

- Bye. I'll miss you.
- Bye.

- Find Kevin.
- ♪ Oh, what a Christmas ♪

- ♪ To have the blues ♪
- Don't you get lost.

[ Chuckles ] Good-bye.

[Frank] Good-bye, Kate.

♪ Please come home for Christmas ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll be happy at Christmas ♪

♪ Once again ♪♪

I took a shower,
washing every body part with actual soap,

including all my major crevices, including
in between my toes and in my belly button,

which I never did before,
but sort of enjoyed.

I washed my hair
with adult-formula shampoo...

and used cream rinse
for that just-washed shine.

I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so
I'll pick one up when I go out today.

Other than that, I'm in good shape.

[ Screaming ]

[Screaming Continues]

Whoa!

[ Moans ]

All right! Buzz's life savings.

I thought the Murphys went to Florida.

[ Loud Clattering ]

You know, you're one of the great cat
burglars of the world, Marv.

You think you could keep it
down a little in there?

[Phone Ringing]

Hi, you've reached the Murphys. Please
leave a message after you hear the beep.

Chuck, this is Peter McCallister again,

and we're still in Paris
at my brother's apartment.

Let me give you the number here, okay?
The country code is 3-3.

The area code is 1 -4.

And the number is 694-8764.

- Hey, Harry?
- Yeah?

That house we were at last night,
was that the McCallisters?

- Yeah.
- Call me in Paris.

You're right. They're gone.

- I knew they were.
- Silver tuna tonight.

[ Chuckles]

[Harry] Wow.

How may I help you?

Is this toothbrush approved
by the American Dental Association?

Well, I don't know.

- It doesn't say, hon.
- Can you please find out?

- Herb!
- Yeah?

I've got a question here
about a toothbrush.

Do you know, is this toothbrush approved
by the American Dental Association?

I don't know.

[ Boots Squeaking ]

[ Gasps ]

-Just tell him that--
-Oh, hon, you pay for that here.

Why don't you just tell him it's approved?

[ Woman] Wait, son, you have to pay
for that toothbrush. Son?

Son! Hey!

Jimmy! Stop that boy!

Hey! Hey!

Shoplifter!

[ Gasps ]

Hey! Hey, kid!

Come back here!

- [ Women Gasping ]
- [ Woman ] Watch it!

Come back here!

Stop it, will ya! Come here!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Grunts, Groans ]

Yeehaw!

I'm a criminal.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

What's so funny?

What's so funny? What are you laughin' at?

You did it again, didn't you?

You left the water runnin', didn't you?

What's wrong with you?
I told you not to do it.

Harry, it's our calling card.

- Calling card.
- All the great ones leave their mark.

We're the "Wet Bandits."

You're sick, you know that?
You're really sick.

- I'm not sick.
- Yes, you are.

- I'm not sick!
- That's a sick thing to do!

We don't need that heat.

Don't tell me what to do.
I can do it if I want to.

- You're sick.
- I'm not sick.

- Hey, watch out!
- [ Tires Screeching]

[ Screaming ]

Hey. Hey! You gotta watch out
for traffic, son, you know?

- Sorry.
- Damn.

Santy don't visit the funeral homes,
little buddy.

[Harry] Okay, okay.

Merry Christmas.

[ Gasps ]

What's the matter?

I don't like the way
that kid looked at me.

- Did you see that?
- You ever seen him before?

I saw a hundred kids this week.

Let's see what house he goes into.

[ Whistling ]

[ Marv ] Why is he goin' faster?

I told you something's wrong. I knew he
looked at me weird. Why would he run?

[Bell Tolling]

- [ Marv ] Maybe he went in the church.
- I'm not goin' in there.

- Me neither.
- Ah, let's get out of here.

When those guys come back, I'll be ready.

[ Woman Over Stereo]
♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪

♪ At the Christmas party hop ♪

♪ Mistletoe hung where you can see ♪

♪ Every couple tries to stop ♪

♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪

♪ Have a happy holiday ♪

- Did they come back?
- From Paris?

♪ Everyone dancing merrily ♪

♪ In the new old-fashioned way ♪

♪ You will get a sentimental feeling ♪

♪ When you hear ♪

♪ Voices singing Let's be jolly ♪

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪

[ Harry ] We'll come back tomorrow.
Maybe they'll be gone by then.

We'd better get out of here
before somebody sees us.

♪ In the new old-fashioned way♪♪

[ Horns Honking ]

[ Speaking French ]

Attention! Attention!

- Look what I have found in "ze" kitchen!
- Frank, those are for later.

Frank?

Mes petites enfants,
do you want a little shrimp, eh?

- Oper-- Do you speak English?
- [ Operator Speaking French ]

Parlez anglais?

Is there-- I mean--

Est ce qui un person qui parle anglais?

Did you get anybody?

I'm looking for my son!
Do you know where he is?

I can't find anybody. They've all gone
shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays.

[ Peter ] Never mind. Forget it.

This is so pointless.

- What?
- We're here rotting in this apartment.

Kevin's at home. Mom's at the airport.

- So?
- You're not at all worried about Kevin?

Why should I be?

He's acted like a jerk too many times,
and this time he caught it in the butt.

But he's so little and helpless.
Don't you think he's flipped out?

The little trout can use
a couple of days in the real world.

You're not worried that something
might happen to him?

No. For three reasons.

"A": I'm not that lucky.

Two: We have smoke detectors.

And "D": We live in the most boring street
in the United States of America...

where nothing even remotely dangerous
will ever happen, period.

[ Tires Screeching]

[ Grunts ]

[Johnny's Voice] Who is it?

It's Little Nero's, sir.
I have your pizza.

Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell outta here.

Okay.

Um, well, what about the money?

What money?

Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.

[Johnny] Is that a fact?

How much do I owe you?

Uh, that'll be 11.80, sir.

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

- Cheapskate.
- Hey.

I'm gonna give you to the count
of 10 to get your ugly,

yellow, no-good keister off my property...

before I pump your guts full of lead.

One, two, ten!

[ Gunfire]

[ Johnny Laughing ]

[ Gunfire Continues]

[ Gunfire Continues]

[ Sniffing ]

A lovely cheese pizza just for me.

[ Woman Over P.A ] To Dallas-Fort Worth.

[ Woman Continues In French]

We have the $500, the pocket translator,

the two first-class seats--
that's an upgrade from your coach--

- Is that a real Rolex?
- Do you think it is?

- No.
- But who can tell?

- I also have a ring.
- That is beautiful!

Come on. They're boarding.

This gal has offered us
two first-class tickets if we go Friday.

Plus a ring, a watch,
a pocket translator, $500 and--

- The earrings. You love the earrings.
- She's got her own earrings.

A whole shoe box full of 'em.
Dangley ones.

- Come on, come on.
- No, but--

I'm desperate.

I'm begging you.

From a mother to a mother, please.

- Oh, Ed.
- Please.

[ Ed ] Oh, all right.

"Dear Santa Claus. I got
a little sister last year.

This year I'd rather
have some clay dough."

[ Audience Laughing ]

[Man Continues Chattering On TV]

I didn't mean it.

If you come back, I'll never
be a pain in the butt again.

I promise. Good night.

[ Kisses Picture ]

♪♪[Men Scatting]

[Man]♪ I'm dreaming ♪

♪ Of a white Christmas ♪

♪ Just like the ones I used to know ♪

♪ Where those treetops glisten ♪

♪ And children listen ♪

♪ To hear ♪

♪ Sleigh bells in the snow ♪

♪ The snow ♪

[ Screaming ]

♪ With every Christmas card I write ♪

♪ May your days, may your days
may your days be merry ♪

♪ And bright ♪♪

[ Woman Over P.A.
Speaking Indistinctly ]

Are those microwave dinners any good?

- I don't know.
- I'll give 'em a whirl.

For the kids.

Hold on. I got a coupon for that.

It was in the paper this morning.

- 19.83.
- Okay.

Are you here all by yourself?

Ma'am, I'm eight years old.
You think I would be here alone?

I don't think so.

- Where's your mom?
- My mom's in the car.

- And where is your father?
- He's at work.

- What about your brothers and sisters?
- I'm an only child.

- Where do you live?
- I can't tell you that.

- Why not?
- 'Cause you're a stranger.

[Furnace Groaning]

Hello, Kevin!

- [ Sinister Laughter ]
- Shut up.

[ Harry ] I don't get it.

I mean, right now it looks
like there's nobody home.

Last night the place is jumpin'.

Somethin' ain't right. Go check it out.

Now?

No, tomorrow, egghead. Now!

Go ahead!

"Now?"

[ Doorknob Rattling ]

Shit.

- Get the hell outta here.
- All right, Johnny.

- But what about my money?
- [ Johnny ] What money?

Acey said you had some dough for me.

[ Johnny ] Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?

Acey said 10%.

- Two bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
- What do you mean?

[Johnny] He's upstairs taking a bath.

He'll call you when he gets out.

Hey.

I tell you what
I'm gonna give you, Snakes.

- Snakes?
- I'm gonna give you to the count of 10...

to get your ugly, yellow,

no-good keister off my property
before I pump your guts full of lead.

All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

One, two, ten!

[ Gunfire]

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Johnny Laughing ]

[ Gunfire Continues]

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

[ Panting ]

What happened?

I don't know who's in there,
but somebody just got blown away!

Huh?

Somebody beat us to the job.
They're in there!

Two of 'em. There was arguing.
One of 'em blew the other one away.

- Who?
- I don't know.

I thought I recognized
one of their voices.

And I know I heard that name
Snakes before.

Snakes? Snakes, Snakes.

- I don't know no Snakes.
- Snakes.

Let's get out of here.

Hold it, hold it.
Let's wait and see who it is.

We work this neighborhood too.

- Yeah.
- Supposin' the cops finger us for a job...

and they start asking us
questions about a murder in the area.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a face to go
with their questions?

That's a good idea.

Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?

He sounded like a snake.

- [ Typing]
- Everything's full.

Everything's full?

I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.

[ Moans ] What about another airline?

[ Typing]

Nothing available. May I help you get
a hotel room in the city?

Tomorrow afternoon we can
get you a flight to Chicago.

I can't wait that long.

I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing
absolutely everything we can.

Go ahead. I'm in your way.
You have places to go, people to see.

You got a ticket there.
That's good. Excuse me. Look.

I have been awake for almost 60 hours.
I'm tired and I'm dirty.

I have been from Chicago to Paris to
Dallas to-- Where the hell am I?

Scranton.

I am trying to get home
to my eight-year-old son!

And now that I'm this close,
you're telling me it's hopeless?

- I'm sorry.
- No. No, no. Wait. This is Christmas!

- The season of perpetual hope!
- Ma'am if--

If I have to get out
on your runway and hitchhike,

if it costs me everything I own,

if I have to sell my soul
to the devil himself,

I am going to get home to my son.

Ma'am, if there was anything at
all I could do for you today--

- Do it. Do anything.
- I can get you a hotel room.

- What?
- Excuse me.

Can you excuse us for a second? Can I see
you for a second? Please. Excuse us. Come.

Couldn't help but hearin'
you got a little bit of a dilemma there.

We got a crisis ourselves. [ Laughing ]

Allow me to introduce myself.
Gus Polinski. How are you?

Polka king of the Midwest?

The Kenosha Kickers?

- Hi there.
- Hiya.

No? That's okay. I thought
you might've recognized--

Anyways, uh, I had
a few hits a few years ago.

Uh, that's why, you know--
"Polka, Polka, Polka"?

♪ Polka, polka, polka ♪

No? "Twin Lakes Polka."

"Yamahoozie Polka,"
a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka."

- "Polka Twist."
- These are songs?

Yeah. Yeah. We--
Some fairly big hits for us.

- You know, in the early '70s, you know?
- Oh.

Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.

- In Chicago?
- No. Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan.

I'm sorry. Did you say you could help me?

Anyway, I'm rambling on here. [ Laughing ]

Our flight was canceled,
so we gotta drive.

So, uh, see the guy in the yellow jacket
over there by the Budget sign?

He's gonna rent us a nice big, uh, van,
and we're gonna drive to Milwaukee.

I heard you had some problems
here, uh, gettin' to Chicago

to see your kid or somethin'?

Uh, my son. He-- We left and he's there.

Aw, geez. If you have to get to Chicago,
we'll gladly drive you.

It's on the way to Milwaukee.

- You'd give me a ride?
- Sure we will. Why not, you know?

- You gotta get home and see your kid.
- A ride to Chicago?

Sure. You know, it's Christmastime.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

If you don't mind goin'
with some polka bums.

No, I'd love to.

[ Snoring ]

- Hey, Marv, Marv, Marv.
- What?

Look at this.

I think we're gettin' scammed
by a "kindygartener."

[ Chuckles]

[ Gasps ]

Dad, can you come here and help me?

Remember that kid we saw the other day?
He lives here.

Well, if the kid's there,
the parents gotta be.

He's home alone.

You gotta be kiddin'.
You wanna come back tonight?

- Uh-huh.
- Even with the kid here?

- Uh-huh.
- I don't think that's a good idea.

That house is the only reason we started
workin' this block in the first place.

Ever since I laid eyes
on that house, I wanted it.

So let's take it one step at a time, okay?

We'll unload the van. We'll get a bite
to eat. We'll come back about 9:00.

- 9:00.
- This way it's dark then.

Yeah. Kids are scared of the dark.

You're afraid of the dark too,
Marv. You know you are.

No, I'm not!

- Yes, you are.
- I'm not, not, not.

- You are so.
- [ Whispering ] Mom, where are you?

♪♪[ "Deck The Halls"]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

Do you play?

You want to try it? Go ahead. Try it.

- Try it. Try it.
- No.

Okay. [ Laughs ]

- Excuse me.
- Yeah?

- Hey, nice shoes.
- Oh, thanks.

Is he still here?
It's really important that I see him.

He's getting in his car.
I guess if you hurry, you can catch him.

Damn! How low can you get? Givin' Kris
Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve.

What's next? Rabies shots
for the Easter Bunny?

Santa, hold on!

Can I talk to you for a minute?

If you make it quick. Santa's got a little
get-together he's late for.

Okay. I know you're not
the real Santa Claus.

What makes you say that?
Just out of curiosity.

I'm old enough to know how it works.

- All right.
- But I also know that you work for him.

- And I'd like you to give him a message.
- Shoot.

I'm Kevin McCallister,
671 Lincoln Boulevard.

- Do you need the phone number?
- No, that's all right.

Okay. This is extremely important.

Would you please tell him that,
instead of presents this year,

I just want my family back.

No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz,
Megan, Linnie and Jeff.

And my aunt and my cousins.

And, if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

Okay. I'll see what I can do.

- Thanks.
- Wait. Hold on a second.

My elf took the last
of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.

- That's okay.
- No, no, no. Don't be silly.

Everybody who sees Santa
has gotta get... somethin'.

Here. Hold out your little paw there.

There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.

I won't. Thanks.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Gears Grinding ]

- [ Engine Stalls ]
- Son of a--

[ Chattering]

[ Women ] ♪ Somewhere in my memory ♪

♪ Lies the joy of Christmas ♪

♪ Living in my memory ♪

♪ All of the music ♪

♪ All of the magic ♪

♪ All of the family home ♪

♪ Here with me ♪

[ Choir]♪ Long lay the world ♪

♪ In sin and error pining ♪

♪ Till he appeared ♪

♪ And the soul felt his worth ♪

♪ A thrill of hope ♪

♪ The weary world rejoices ♪

♪ For yonder breaks ♪

♪ A new and glorious morn ♪

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

♪ Oh, hear the angel voices ♪

♪ O night divine ♪

♪ O night ♪

♪ When Christ was born ♪

♪ O night ♪

♪ O holy night ♪

♪ O night divine ♪

♪ So led by light ♪

♪ Of a star sweetly gleaming ♪

♪ Here came the Wise Men ♪

♪ From Orient lands ♪

♪ The king of kings ♪

♪ Lay thus in lowly manger ♪

- [ Gasps ]
- ♪ In all our trials ♪

♪ Born to be our friend ♪

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

♪ Oh, hear ♪

♪ The angel voices ♪

- Merry Christmas.
- ♪ O night ♪

Huh?

- ♪ Divine ♪
- May I sit down?

♪ O night ♪

♪ When Christ was born ♪

♪ O night ♪

That's my granddaughter up there.
The little red-haired girl.

- ♪ O holy night ♪
- She's about your age.

- Do you know her?
- No.

- You live next to me, don't you?
- Yeah.

You can say hello when you see me.
You don't have to be afraid.

There's a lot of things going around
about me, but none of it's true.

Okay?

- You been a good boy this year?
- I think so.

Swear to it?

- No.
- Yeah, I had a feeling.

Well, this is the place to be
if you're feeling bad about yourself.

- It is?
- I think so.

- Are you feeling bad about yourself?
- No.

♪♪[ Choir, Indistinct]

I've been kind of a pain lately.

I said some things I shouldn't have.

I really haven't been too good this year.

- Yeah.
- I'm kind of upset about it,

because I really like my family.

Even though sometimes I say I don't.

Sometimes I even think I don't.
Do you get that?

I think so. How you feel about your family
is a complicated thing.

Especially with an older brother.

Deep down you always love 'em, but you can
forget that you love 'em.

And you can hurt them,
and they can hurt you.

And that's not just because you're young.

You want to know the real reason
that I'm here right now?

Sure.

I came to hear my granddaughter sing,
and I can't come and hear her tonight.

- You have plans?
- No. I'm not welcome.

- At church?
- Oh, you're always welcome at church.

I'm not welcome with my son.

Years back, before you and
your family moved on the block,

I had an argument with my son.

- How old is he?
- Oh, he's grown up.

We lost our tempers,

and I said I didn't care
to see him anymore.

He said the same, and we haven't
spoken to each other since.

If you miss him, why don't you call him?

I'm afraid if I call him,
he won't talk to me.

How do you know?

I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't.

No offense, but aren't you
a little old to be afraid?

You can be a little old
for a lot of things.

You're never too old to be afraid.

That's true. I've always
been afraid of our basement.

It's dark, there's weird stuff
down there, and it smells funny.

That sort of thing.
It's bothered me for years.

Basements are like that.

Then I made myself go down there
to do some laundry,

and I found out it's not so bad.

All this time I've been worrying about it,

but if you turn on the lights,
it's no big deal.

- What's your point?
- My point is you should call your son.

What if he won't talk to me?

At least you'll know. Then you
could stop worrying about it,

and you won't have to be afraid anymore.

I don't care how mad I was,
I'd talk to my dad,

especially around the holidays.

[ Sighs ] I don't know.

Just give it a shot.
For your granddaughter anyway.

I'm sure she misses you...
and the presents.

I send her a check.

I wish my grandparents
send that. They always send me clothes.

Last year I got a sweater
with a big bird knitted on it.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Not for a guy in the second grade.

You can get beat up
for wearing something like that.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

I have a friend who got nailed

'cause there was a rumor
he wore dinosaur pajamas.

You'd better run along home
where you belong.

You think about what I said.

- All right?
- Okay.

- It was nice talking to you.
- Nice talking to you.

[ Choir ] ♪ Merry, merry Christmas
On, on they send ♪

♪ On without end Their joyful tone
to every home ♪

- What about you?
- Me?

Yeah. You and your son.

We'll see what happens.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

♪ One seems to hear
Words of good cheer ♪

♪ From everywhere
Filling the air ♪

♪ Oh, how they pound
Raising the sound ♪

- ♪ O'er hill and dale Telling their tale ♪
- [Bell Tolling]

♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ]

This is my house. I have to defend it.

[ Bell Dings ]

Okay, we'll check it out first.
We can always come back for the truck.

How do you wanna go in?

We'll go to the back door.
Maybe he'll let us in. You never know.

Yeah. He's a kid. Kids are stupid.

Bless this highly nutritious microwaveable
macaroni and cheese dinner...

and the people who sold it on sale.

Amen.

[ Clock Chiming]

This is it. Don't get scared now.

[ Knocking ]

[ Harry ] Merry Christmas, little fella.

We know that you're in there,

and that you're all alone.

[ Marv ] Yeah, come on, kid. Open up.

It's Santy Claus and his elf.

We're not gonna hurt you.

No, no. We got some nice presents for you.

Be a good little fella now
and open the door.

- [ Gun Fires ]
- [ Groaning ]

Shoot! [ Muttering ]

What? What? What?

- [ Muttering Continues ]
- What? What happened?

Get that little-- [ Muttering Continues ]

Hello.

[ Screams, Groaning ]

Yes! Yes!

The little jerk is armed!

That's it! That's it! I'm goin' around
the front! You go down the basement!

That little-- [ Mutters ]

[ Screams ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Grunts, Screams ]

[ Panting ]

Ow!

[ Grunts, Groans ]

That smart aleck.

[ Whimpers, Grunts ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting Continues ]

[ Grunts ]

Oh, boy, that's it, you little--
you little son of a--

Oh, not this time, you little brat.

[ Chuckles ]

You little creep, you, where are you?

Where are you, you little creep?

[ Screaming ]

[ Huffing ]

[ Screaming, Groaning ]

[ Sizzling ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighing ]

Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screams ]

[ Muttering ]

I'll rip his head off!
[ Muttering Continues ]

[ Chuckles, Sighs ] You're dead, kid.

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Sizzling ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Mutters ]

- [ Yelps ]
- [ Crowbar Clatters]

[ Whimpering ]

[ Chuckles, Mutters ]

[ Grunts ]

Where are you, you little creep?

[ Grunting ]

Harry! I'm comin'in!

[ Kevin ] Oh, no, I'm really scared!

It's too late for you, kid.
We're already in the house.

- We're gonna get you!
- Okay. Come and get me.

Why, you--

Now you're dead!

[ Screaming ]

I'm gonna kill that kid!

[ Screams, Whimpers ]

[ Sputtering ]

- Marv!
- Harry?

Why the hell'd you take your shoes off?

Why the hell are you
dressed like a chicken?

I'm up here, you morons! Come and get me!

[ Both Screaming ]

You guys give up,
or are you thirsty for more?

[ Groaning ]

- Heads up!
- Huh?

- [ Grunts, Screams ]
- Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.

- [ Yelling ]
- Ow!

- [ Grunts, Groans ]
- Yes!

He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

- Aw, shut up, will ya!
- Oh!

- What is it?
- You're missin' some teeth.

Where? It's my gold tooth.
My gold tooth! I'll kill him!

- I'll kill him! [ Muttering ]
- [ Groaning ]

You bomb me with one more can, kid,

and I'll snap off your cojones
and boil them in motor oil!

[ Man On Phone ] 911 Emergency.

[ Deep Voice ]
Help. My house is being robbed.

My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
My name's Murphy.

Watch it. You never know what's up there.

There he is! [ Screams ]

[ Yells ] Ah! I got ya!

I got him, Harry! Harry, I got him!

[Mutters] Harry, get up! Give me a hand!

Ow! I got him!

- [ Grunting ]
- Harry, help me! Get up!

I got him!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

- What are you doing, Marv?
- Harry, don't move.

- Marv?
- Don't... move!

Marv, what are you doing? Marv--

[ Grunts, Mutters ]

Did I get him? Did I get him?

Where is it? Where is it?

Never mind did you get it!
How do you like it? Huh?

You jerk! Get that kid!
Go on! Get the kid!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

[Screaming]

Where'd he go?

Maybe he committed suicide.

Down here, you big horse's ass!

Come and get me before I call the police!

- Let's get him!
- Wait. Wait.

That's just what he wants us to do--

us to go back downstairs through his fun
house so we get all tore up.

- He's gonna call the cops!
- He's not callin' the-- From a tree house?

Come on.

- Out the window?
- Yeah.

- I'm not goin' out the window.
- Why? Are you scared, Marv?

Are you afraid? Come on. Get out here.

Come on.

- [Shuddering]
- Come on!

[ Gasps, Whimpering ]

Come on. Keep goin'. Keep goin'.

- Let's go back, Harry.
- Shut up!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

- [ Whimpering]
- Shut it, Marv!

Hey, guys, check this out.

- Go back! Go back!
- [ Whimpering ]

- Go back.
- Okay.

[ Both Screaming ]

There he goes! There he is!
Get out of the way, you dope!

[ Both Panting, Groaning ]

- There he is!
- Hey, I'm calling the cops.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
He wants us to follow him.

I got a better idea. Come on.

Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time.

Get over here!

[ Grunting ]

What are we gonna do to him, Harry?

We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm
gonna burn his head with a blowtorch.

Then we can smash his face with an iron!

I'd like to slap him right in the face
with a paint can maybe.

Or shove a nail through his foot.

I'm gonna bite off every one of these
little fingers one at a time.

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Men Laughing ]

[ Grunts, Groans ]

[ Grunts ]

- Come on. Let's get you home.
- Whoa!

[Sirens Wailing]

[ Chattering]

[Police Radio Chatter]

Wow. This is great.

Nice move-- always
leaving the water running.

Now we know each and every
house that you've hit.

Hey, you know, we've been looking for you
two guys for a long time.

- Yeah.
- Well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits.

-Wet Bandits. W-E-T--
-Shut up! Get in the car!

Hey, come on. Come on.

- Hands off the head, pal!
- Come on!

[Man]♪ Have yourself ♪

♪ A merry little Christmas ♪

♪ Let your heart be light ♪

♪ From now on your troubles ♪

♪ Will be out of sight ♪

[ Siren Wailing ]

♪ Through the years ♪

♪ We all will be together ♪

♪ If the fates allow ♪

♪ Hang a shining star ♪

♪ Upon the highest bough ♪

♪ And have yourself ♪

♪ A merry little Christmas ♪

♪ Now♪♪

[ Kate ]
I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

You're not. You know, you're beating
yourself up there, you know.

Come on. This happens.
These things happen. You know, you--

Gee, you wanna talk about bad parents?
Look at-- Look at us.

I mean, we're on the road 48, 49 weeks out
of the year. We hardly see our families.

Uh, Joe over there--
Gosh, you know, he's--

[ Snoring ]

He forgets his kids' names half the time.

Ziggy over there-- He doesn't even--
He's never even met his kid.

Eddie-- Let's just hope none
of them write a book about him.

Tell me, have you ever gone on vacation
and left your child home?

- No.
- [ Chuckles ]

But I did leave one
at a funeral parlor once.

Yeah, it was-- it was terrible too.

You know, I was all distraught and
everything. You know, the wife and I,

we left the little tyke
there in the funeral parlor all day.

All day. You know, and we went back at
night when we came to our senses.

And there he was. Apparently he was there
alone all day with a corpse.

- Oh!
- Whew, yeah. He was okay, you know.

After six, seven weeks, you know, he came
around and started talking again.

But he's okay. You know, they get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.

- Maybe we shouldn't talk about this.
- Well, you brought it up.

- I was just trying to cheer you up.
- Well, I'm sorry I did.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

[ Sighs ]

[ Bells Jingling ]

[Door Opens]

Kevin? Kevin!

[ Sighs ]

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.

[ Sighs, Crying ]

Where is everybody else?

Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
They wanted to so much, but--

I didn't fall asleep in the back of the
cab and drool all over you, did I?

- I don't drool.
- You guys, would you shut up!

Come on, you guys, it's Christmas. Kevin!
Kevin, Kevin, my boy!

- Oh, my God!
- Kevin, how are ya?

- Merry Christmas.
- Hi, Mom.

Good to see you. Ah, you're all right.
I love you. You okay?

- Yeah.
- Hey, Kev.

It's pretty cool that
you didn't burn the place down.

- [ Chattering Continues]
- Thanks, Buzz.

Wait a minute. How did you guys get home?

Oh, we took the morning flight. Remember?
The one you didn't want to wait for.

Oh, no. [ Laughs ] Oh, thank you.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Someone has to find an open store.
We don't have milk.

I went shopping yesterday.

You? Shopping?

I got some milk, eggs and fabric softener.

- What?
- No kiddin'?

What a funny guy.
What else did you do while we were away?

Just hung around.

[ All Laughing ]

You guys, put the stuff upstairs.

You went shopping? He doesn't know how to
tie his shoe, and he's going shopping?

- [ Kate ] Buzz, forget it.
- This is not the Kevin I knew.

Honey, what's this?

[ Buzz ]
Kevin! What did you do to my room?

♪♪[ Orchestra]

[ Women]♪ Candles in the window ♪

♪ Shadows painting the ceiling ♪

♪ Gazing at the fire glow ♪

♪ Feeling that gingerbread ♪

♪ Feeling ♪

♪ Precious moments ♪

♪ Special people ♪

♪ Happy faces ♪

♪ I can see ♪

♪ Somewhere in my memory ♪

♪ Christmas joys ♪

♪ All around me ♪

♪ Living in my memory ♪

♪ All of the music ♪

♪ All of the magic ♪

♪ All of the family home ♪

♪ Here with me ♪♪