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00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,242
Good evening, this is
MayKay Bueller reporting live
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00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,547
from outside
the Greenpoint Mall,
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00:00:06,614 --> 00:00:09,252
where hours from now
it's gonna be exploded
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00:00:09,318 --> 00:00:12,091
into itty‐bitty smithereens.
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00:00:12,157 --> 00:00:13,628
Oooweee.
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00:00:13,694 --> 00:00:17,802
Built way back in,oooweee, 1994,
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00:00:17,869 --> 00:00:20,440
the mall's design boastedstate‐of‐the‐art
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00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,278
triangles and squiggles.
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00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:23,981
Oooweee.
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00:00:24,048 --> 00:00:27,454
But it lost its mojo thanks tochanging consumer habits
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00:00:27,522 --> 00:00:31,029
and countless dressing roomcamera scandals.
12
00:00:31,095 --> 00:00:33,701
It finally closed in 2010.
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00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:38,410
Mayor Webb, are you all set
for the big demolition?
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00:00:38,476 --> 00:00:40,213
You're just gonna get your mouth
right up there
15
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,917
on that squishy bulb.
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00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,286
We sure are.
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00:00:43,353 --> 00:00:45,892
This town loves
a big explosion,
18
00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:48,029
especially around Halloween.
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00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:50,868
‐Don't we, gang?
‐(all cheering)
20
00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,678
I really wish
they wouldn't do this.
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00:00:55,745 --> 00:00:57,047
Oh, me neither.
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00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:58,751
This mall was all our whorlds.
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00:00:58,818 --> 00:01:01,389
No, I mean them.
Why are they sneaking in?
24
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:03,026
Wayne, we're not sneaking in.
They invited us.
25
00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:05,965
They're having a final mall walk
for superfans of the mall.
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00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:09,438
And this whole place is a
perfectly preserved time capsule
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00:01:09,506 --> 00:01:12,144
of America's most
glorious disaster:
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00:01:12,211 --> 00:01:14,115
VIOLET and DAVID:
The early 2000s.
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00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:16,553
An era of fashion that was
the most accessorized
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00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,724
but also, somehow,
the least attractive
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00:01:18,791 --> 00:01:20,293
I know there will be
something perfect
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00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,462
for my Halloween costume
in there.
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00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:22,766
What is your Halloween costume?
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00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,503
Violet, I don't choose
the costume.
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00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:26,339
The costume chooses me.
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00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:28,476
Jenny, that flier doesn't
make any sense.
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00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,347
If they're having
an event here,
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00:01:30,414 --> 00:01:32,619
why does everything say
"Danger, Stay Out"?
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00:01:32,686 --> 00:01:35,490
If it said "Come On In,"
I wouldn't want to go.
40
00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:37,729
Ooh, secret entrance.
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00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,067
Entrances should never
be secret.
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00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,071
‐(door creaks)
‐(rat squeaks)
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00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:43,641
Oh, neat. Rats.
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00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:45,511
I do not feel good
about this.
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00:01:45,578 --> 00:01:48,249
That's odd, 'cause I've never
felt better about
46
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,287
anything in my life.
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00:01:53,761 --> 00:01:55,765
♪ ♪
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00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:28,029
‐(soft thud)
‐(gasps)
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00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:30,701
(Wayne shudders)
50
00:02:35,778 --> 00:02:37,281
‐Yah!
‐Chaboogity boogity!
‐(Wayne screams)
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00:02:37,347 --> 00:02:38,818
(laughter)
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00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:41,857
Wayne, I know that Mom screaming
"Chaboogity boogity"
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00:02:41,924 --> 00:02:44,830
was way out of line,
but also, you need to chill.
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00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:46,700
‐It's the mannequins.
‐What?
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00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,571
Wayne's afraid of mannequins.
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00:02:48,637 --> 00:02:50,541
I'm just saying
there are a million reasons
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00:02:50,608 --> 00:02:52,377
not to go in here
right now.
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00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:55,116
‐Starting with the fact
that it's condemned.
‐It's mannequins.
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00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,321
‐And we're trespassing.
‐Totally mannequins.
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00:02:57,387 --> 00:03:00,227
‐And the ceiling is riddled
with asbestos.
‐It's mannequins. Mannequins.
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00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:03,567
‐And it's wired with a million
pounds of explosives.
‐Mannequins. Mannequins.
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00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:05,036
‐It's mannequins.
‐Okay, fine!
63
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:07,575
Like every right‐thinking
person in America,
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00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:09,512
I am wary of mannequins.
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00:03:09,579 --> 00:03:12,417
What are they?
Are they alive or dead?
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00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,355
No one knows.
But what we do know is that
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00:03:14,421 --> 00:03:18,429
they are extremely susceptible
to being inhabited by spirits.
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00:03:18,496 --> 00:03:20,735
We all saw the movie Mannequin.
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00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,006
I mean, that idea
doesn't come from nowhere.
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00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,978
Oh, God. No...
Oh, there's another one!
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00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:28,316
They're teaming up.
One just touched my butt.
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00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:30,153
Get 'em off me.
Please, God!
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00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,692
‐(straining)
‐Good Lord.
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00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:35,598
Oh, my God, it clawed its way
into my shirt!
75
00:03:35,665 --> 00:03:37,835
Why isn't anyone helping me?
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00:03:37,902 --> 00:03:40,006
'Cause you're in zero danger?
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00:03:40,073 --> 00:03:42,210
Oh, come on, guys,
everyone has phobias.
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00:03:42,277 --> 00:03:43,313
Don't make fun of Wayne's.
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00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:45,952
Here, Wayne, I got you.
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00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,822
(both screaming)
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00:03:47,889 --> 00:03:49,893
(laughter)
82
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,999
Come on, let's walk down
this memory lane.
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00:03:55,571 --> 00:03:57,742
Violet Elizabeth, look.
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00:03:57,809 --> 00:03:59,746
VIOLET:
Oh, my God.
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00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:02,585
‐It's retail Indiana Jones.
‐Peanut Shack.
86
00:04:02,652 --> 00:04:04,723
Radio Shack.
Popcorn Barn.
87
00:04:04,789 --> 00:04:06,793
‐Record Barn.
‐Dress Barn.
88
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:08,029
Hickory Farms.
89
00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:09,833
Oh, I just love
that they're calling it out‐‐
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00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:13,306
that basically humans are just
all consumer chattel.
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00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,110
VIOLET:
Rainforest Cafe?
92
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:18,383
You kids are lucky if you get
to see a Rainforest Cafe.
93
00:04:18,449 --> 00:04:21,623
Sadly, these very important
restaurants are disappearing
94
00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:22,759
before our very eyes.
95
00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:24,796
It's a tragedy what's happening
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00:04:24,863 --> 00:04:27,100
to the Rainforest Cafes, y'all.
97
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,340
Oh... mall... God.
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00:04:30,407 --> 00:04:32,177
Stunned silence.
99
00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:34,381
Explain to me
what I'm seeing right now
100
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,118
‐before I pass out.
‐Oh, yeah.
101
00:04:36,185 --> 00:04:37,454
Your mom never told you?
102
00:04:37,522 --> 00:04:38,957
She was the face
of Greenpoint Mall.
103
00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:41,295
Got discovered by
a famous photographer.
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00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:42,999
JENNY:
God, we were so cool.
105
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:45,538
♪ Oh... ♪
106
00:04:45,604 --> 00:04:47,508
BOTH:
Whasssuup?
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00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:49,178
Whasssuup?!
108
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:51,917
Young ladies, the samples are
only for paying customers.
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00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:54,288
I'd like to see you try
to get it off my face
110
00:04:54,354 --> 00:04:56,593
and back into that tube,
beeyach.
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00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:58,062
Do it. Do it!
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00:04:58,129 --> 00:05:00,166
We're young and hot.
Deal with it.
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00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,738
(girls laugh)
114
00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:04,776
I'm only getting pennies
down here.
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00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:07,515
There's no way we'll be able
to afford an albino snake
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00:05:07,582 --> 00:05:08,917
with this BS.
117
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:11,388
All the big money's up top.
Launch me.
118
00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:12,925
♪ Fall out ♪
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00:05:12,992 --> 00:05:14,796
♪ I like it when you,uh, uh ♪
120
00:05:14,863 --> 00:05:16,800
♪ Girl, baby, make it,uh, uh. ♪
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00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:17,935
‐(crowd gasps, applauds)
‐Wow.
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00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,639
I'm looking for the right girl.
123
00:05:19,706 --> 00:05:21,342
I think I just found her.
124
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:26,118
Wait, so some 40‐year‐old guy
asked you to model for him,
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00:05:26,185 --> 00:05:27,555
and you said yes?
126
00:05:27,622 --> 00:05:29,057
Violet, come on, now.
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00:05:29,124 --> 00:05:30,995
If 40‐year‐old men stopped
wanting to take pictures
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00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:33,700
of 15‐year‐old girls,
there wouldn't even be models.
129
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,436
Now, is that the world you want?
130
00:05:35,504 --> 00:05:36,806
A hundred percent.
131
00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:38,109
Well, this guy wasn't creepy.
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00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:39,879
He was legit.
He had a business card.
133
00:05:39,946 --> 00:05:42,552
He had disco lights
in his Humvee, a pinky ring‐‐
134
00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:43,854
Okay, now I'm hearing it.
135
00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:45,390
Did he make you jump
in every shot?
136
00:05:45,456 --> 00:05:47,562
He just liked when my
volleyball skort flew up.
137
00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:49,198
Oh, yeah, now I'm really
hearing it now.
138
00:05:49,264 --> 00:05:50,501
But it all worked out.
139
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:54,174
I mean, girl,
that picture is bangin'.
140
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,445
Here, let me get it for you.
141
00:05:56,513 --> 00:05:57,648
(grunts)
142
00:05:57,715 --> 00:05:59,017
Aw, hell no.
143
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:01,188
Someone donged it?
No worries, girl.
144
00:06:01,255 --> 00:06:03,594
Here, there's more posters
over there.
145
00:06:04,394 --> 00:06:06,700
Oh, damn, these are all
donged up, too.
146
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,971
This one's got devil horns
made of dongs.
147
00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:10,708
This one's got
a bouquet of dongs.
148
00:06:10,774 --> 00:06:13,279
This one, the water skis
are dongs.
149
00:06:13,346 --> 00:06:16,151
I mean, I hate who did this,
and I will kill them,
150
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:18,890
but this is some really
solid dong work.
151
00:06:18,957 --> 00:06:21,095
Who would do this?
So rude.
152
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:23,132
How would anyone deface
the queen of the mall?
153
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:24,702
I mean, I'm not bragging,
I'm just saying
154
00:06:24,769 --> 00:06:26,740
have some respect
for the office.
155
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:28,610
Well, we've all had
an experience here today.
156
00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:30,313
Great fun, a lot of lessons.
157
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,883
Let's call it
and head outside
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00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:34,121
before we get blown up
or assaulted by a mannequin.
159
00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:37,628
‐Wayne, we got to find at least
one dong‐free picture of me.
‐BETTY: Yep.
160
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:39,298
And I'm here to get
my loot on.
161
00:06:39,364 --> 00:06:41,936
Mother, you already looted
this place the week it closed.
162
00:06:42,003 --> 00:06:43,907
Yeah, and I hid some stuff
I couldn't carry.
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00:06:43,974 --> 00:06:45,511
‐It's time for me to claim
‐(gasps)
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00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:46,746
‐what is wrongfully mine.
‐(Violet gasps)
165
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:49,686
Violet, it's calling to me.
166
00:06:50,854 --> 00:06:52,324
Something's happening.
167
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:55,430
The spirit of early 2000s
teen drama characters
168
00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:57,501
is washing over me.
169
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,539
Ooh, Dawson's Creek.
170
00:06:59,605 --> 00:07:02,043
(gasps):
Felicity. The O. C.
171
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:03,179
The brooding, the drama,
172
00:07:03,245 --> 00:07:05,383
the almost unbearable
teen angst.
173
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:07,655
Don't fight it, David.
174
00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:09,625
I'm not David.
175
00:07:09,692 --> 00:07:11,896
I'm Joshua Hartnett Arquette,
176
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:14,902
and it's 2002,
and I'm the assistant manager
177
00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:17,608
at Wet Seal...
and I have a secret.
178
00:07:17,675 --> 00:07:19,645
And I'm Britney Tree Hill.
179
00:07:19,712 --> 00:07:21,315
I work at Wet Seal, too.
180
00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:25,089
My dad owns this town,
but he doesn't own me.
181
00:07:25,156 --> 00:07:28,162
Boy, y'all are dead set on not
having a third friend, huh?
182
00:07:28,229 --> 00:07:29,832
Listen, Jenny,
none of your mall friends
183
00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:31,201
showed up for this walk.
184
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:33,105
Probably because
it's a terrible idea
185
00:07:33,172 --> 00:07:34,542
and this place is
creepy as hell.
186
00:07:34,609 --> 00:07:35,811
Hi.
187
00:07:35,878 --> 00:07:37,548
‐(all scream)
‐(thunder cracks)
188
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,986
Are you guys here
for the mall walk, too?
189
00:07:40,052 --> 00:07:42,958
Yes. See, Wayne, other people
are starting to come in.
190
00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:46,298
Hold the flip phone.
Is that Jenny Hart,
191
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,035
the face of the Greenpoint Mall?
192
00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:50,339
‐And her intimidating
friend Brenda?
‐You take that back.
193
00:07:50,406 --> 00:07:52,110
Brenda, down!
194
00:07:52,177 --> 00:07:54,147
Yes, it is me.
(chuckles)
195
00:07:54,214 --> 00:07:55,784
I can't believe
you recognized me.
196
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,721
I mean, my face is everywhere,
but still...
197
00:07:57,788 --> 00:08:00,159
Of course I recognize you.
198
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:02,230
Don't you recognize me?
199
00:08:02,297 --> 00:08:04,669
Yeah... yeah...
200
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,775
I totally remember you.
You're...
201
00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:09,277
‐...that girl...
‐Stacy.
202
00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:10,446
Stacy. Nailed it.
203
00:08:10,514 --> 00:08:11,950
That's right.
I'm so glad
204
00:08:12,016 --> 00:08:13,687
I'm not the only one here.
205
00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:15,122
I just love this mall.
206
00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:16,826
You know, I used to
work here.
207
00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:18,830
Right at that kiosk.
208
00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:21,268
I was the very last one
to close shop.
209
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,740
For a while it was
just me and Sbarro,
210
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,711
and when they closed,
this place was just
211
00:08:25,777 --> 00:08:30,219
(echoing):
Stacy's mall!
212
00:08:30,286 --> 00:08:31,488
ALL:
Hmm.
213
00:08:31,556 --> 00:08:33,192
I can bling your phones
if you want.
214
00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:34,361
(excited gasps)
215
00:08:34,427 --> 00:08:37,635
Free bling?
I'm not saying no to that.
216
00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,243
Guys, I got a bad feeling
about Stacy.
217
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,314
No one else is getting
a mannequin‐come‐to‐life vibe
218
00:08:44,381 --> 00:08:45,684
from this lady?
219
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:47,086
Okay, Wayne,
just walk me through this,
220
00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:48,890
because I feel your theories are
always evolving.
221
00:08:48,957 --> 00:08:50,226
Thank you for asking.
222
00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:51,863
My working theory
is she's a spirit
223
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:53,299
with unfinished business
caught between realms
224
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:55,537
who has commandeered a mannequin
as a vessel
225
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:57,407
for the purpose
of luring us here
226
00:08:57,473 --> 00:08:58,409
and stealing our souls.
227
00:08:58,475 --> 00:08:59,545
‐All done.
‐(yells)
228
00:08:59,612 --> 00:09:00,914
These are off the hizzy.
229
00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:03,452
Oh, I like that
you kept it subtle.
230
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,724
See, Wayne, she's nice.
231
00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:07,427
She's a little eccentric, sure,
232
00:09:07,493 --> 00:09:08,597
but she loves the mall,
like us.
233
00:09:08,663 --> 00:09:09,899
(rats squeaking)
234
00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:15,242
Look. Mall rats.
(laughs)
235
00:09:15,309 --> 00:09:16,779
Get it?
236
00:09:16,846 --> 00:09:19,585
I mean, rats, ew. Ugh.
237
00:09:19,652 --> 00:09:21,054
I'm not friends with them.
238
00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:22,891
Get away, Nelly and Fat Joe.
239
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,329
Okay, maybe she's
a little weird,
240
00:09:25,396 --> 00:09:28,035
but the fun kind of weird,
you know, like‐like Bjork.
241
00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:30,473
Bjork is not on a first‐name
basis with rats.
242
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,576
Are we sure?
243
00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:32,811
I'll just go wait in the car.
244
00:09:32,878 --> 00:09:34,247
Sorry for my boyfriend.
245
00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:36,886
Some people just aren't
cut out for the mall.
246
00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,155
(spits):
Ew!
247
00:09:38,222 --> 00:09:39,892
‐Oh, these are dust.
‐WAYNE: Aah!
248
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:42,765
It's chained shut!
Someone locked us in!
249
00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:43,833
‐(thunder cracks)
‐(monkeys chittering)
250
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,336
WAYNE:
Oh, my God!
251
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:48,175
The monkey mannequins
are activated!
252
00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:57,828
Um, guys, this door was not
chained when we walked in.
253
00:09:57,895 --> 00:09:59,197
Wayne, maybe
this is a different door.
254
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:01,234
No way.
This is Stacy's doing.
255
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,973
If she had fingerprints,
they'd be all over this.
256
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,176
Wayne... (scoffs) Come on, man.
257
00:10:05,242 --> 00:10:06,879
She's not a mannequin.
Wayne.
258
00:10:06,946 --> 00:10:07,881
‐Come on.
‐Wayne, come on.
259
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:08,950
They are not real.
260
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:10,319
‐Whoopsie.
‐Oh!
261
00:10:10,386 --> 00:10:12,991
Oh, my gosh,
I am so sorry about that.
262
00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,995
Dale must have locked
all the security doors
263
00:10:15,062 --> 00:10:17,033
because he's a security guard.
264
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,172
(quietly):
I guarantee you
there is no Dale.
265
00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:21,909
Hey, Dale,
I think some visitors
266
00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:23,913
accidentally got locked in.
267
00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:25,550
Can you open the north doors?
268
00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:27,186
MALE VOICE (over phone):Oh, yeah.
269
00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:30,159
Hmm, seems like Dale's real.
And hilarious.
270
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:33,132
Oh, my God, Dale!
Isn't he so funny?
271
00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:36,037
Full disclosure,
we are dating.
272
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:37,574
There, Dale's on it.
273
00:10:37,641 --> 00:10:40,045
Brenda, let's go find
a non‐donged poster of me.
274
00:10:40,112 --> 00:10:41,582
Uh, y'all,
can we stick together, please?
275
00:10:41,649 --> 00:10:44,187
Ugh, I still haven't found
my Halloween costume.
276
00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:47,026
Betty, come on, you can't deny
something's off about that lady.
277
00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:48,195
Help me find another exit.
278
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:50,166
Fine. I'm headed
that way anyway.
279
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,203
Got to get over
to the payphone graveyard
280
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,642
to unearth
some of my stashed loot.
281
00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:56,946
Good Lord, Betty,
what could you have possibly
282
00:10:57,013 --> 00:10:58,248
stored in here ten years ago
283
00:10:58,315 --> 00:10:59,819
that would be worth
anything now?
284
00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:01,856
Oh, I don't know,
why don't you ask
285
00:11:01,923 --> 00:11:04,895
this portable DVD player
how much it's worth.
286
00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:06,766
Now all we got to do
is find where I stashed
287
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,037
the cigarette lighter adapter.
288
00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:14,314
Oh, here's a good one.
289
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,184
Look closer.
All your fingers got
290
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:18,055
a little surprise on the end.
291
00:11:18,121 --> 00:11:20,192
Oh, come on.
They did that on purpose
292
00:11:20,259 --> 00:11:21,762
so we'd have to get up close.
293
00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:22,931
Penis‐drawing butts.
294
00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:25,069
I'll tell you one thing.
295
00:11:25,135 --> 00:11:27,975
No one would have
gotten away with this disrespect
296
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:30,112
‐back in the day.
‐♪ ♪
297
00:11:30,179 --> 00:11:31,616
Hey, it's the poster girl.
298
00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:34,655
‐Jenny, do the jump.
‐Brenda, launch me!
299
00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:37,527
♪ ♪
300
00:11:37,594 --> 00:11:39,197
(all cheering)
301
00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:41,669
Can I get a picture
with you?
302
00:11:41,736 --> 00:11:43,038
Sure.
303
00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:45,109
Wait, there's a camera
in your phone?
304
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:47,681
Point five megapixels, baby.
305
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:48,850
(shutter snaps)
306
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,689
‐That's poppin'.
‐Hey, shawty,
307
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,693
can you style me your digits?
308
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,095
Dope fo‐sho.
309
00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:56,398
♪ One, two, three, uh ♪
310
00:11:56,464 --> 00:11:58,503
♪ My baby don't mess around ♪
311
00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,007
♪ Because she loves me soand this I know... ♪
312
00:12:01,074 --> 00:12:03,947
Hey, Jenny, Brenda,
lookin' good.
313
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:05,650
How are the dogs today, Kelly?
314
00:12:05,717 --> 00:12:07,286
(laughs):
On a stick.
315
00:12:07,353 --> 00:12:09,190
(laughter)
316
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,200
Ooh, looking good, Glen.
317
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,471
‐How's Monica?
‐In my rearview.
318
00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:18,408
Call me.
319
00:12:19,812 --> 00:12:23,418
‐Hoobastank CDs
just for you two.
‐(laughing)
320
00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:27,159
♪ For sticking to‐together'cause we don't know how ♪
321
00:12:28,061 --> 00:12:29,631
♪ Hey ya... ♪
322
00:12:29,698 --> 00:12:31,167
It's on the mall.
323
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:34,742
Oh, Danny, what are you
doing to us?
324
00:12:34,808 --> 00:12:38,516
Oh, man, friggin' glory days.
325
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,952
Brenda, I'm having
a weird thought,
326
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,254
and I need you
to talk me out of this.
327
00:12:41,321 --> 00:12:44,260
Were we kind of... stuck up?
328
00:12:45,563 --> 00:12:46,498
Brenda?
329
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,601
Brenda?!
330
00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:51,942
Oh, come on, y'all.
331
00:12:52,009 --> 00:12:55,449
Come on, Betty, you already
got a tape deck audio adapter,
332
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:58,422
seven PalmPilot
replacement styluses,
333
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:00,560
‐and an inexplicably enormous
CD tower.
‐(grunting)
334
00:13:00,627 --> 00:13:02,463
What other forms
of outdated technology
335
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,900
could you possibly need?
336
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,937
‐We got to get out of here.
‐This is the mother lode.
337
00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:09,645
It looks like a Corvette, but
it actually rewinds VHS tapes.
338
00:13:09,711 --> 00:13:12,717
Okay, we can go find
your precious exit now.
339
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:17,059
Wait. Does this nameplate
say Dale Everton?
340
00:13:19,531 --> 00:13:21,535
Hello? Hello...
341
00:13:21,602 --> 00:13:22,938
Sir?
342
00:13:24,975 --> 00:13:26,010
Oh, my God!
343
00:13:26,077 --> 00:13:27,446
BETTY:
Oh, my Lord, y'all.
344
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:28,916
Is there lipstick
on that thing?
345
00:13:28,983 --> 00:13:31,020
(squeaking)
346
00:13:31,087 --> 00:13:33,191
I was right.
She was lying about Dale.
347
00:13:33,258 --> 00:13:35,462
I knew she was no good.
I'm calling Jenny.
348
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,801
Oh, my God, there's
a Nerds candy rope
349
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:39,538
shoved in my SIM card slot.
350
00:13:39,605 --> 00:13:40,673
That's what she said?
351
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:41,942
Damn it, not now, Betty.
352
00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:43,311
My phone's not even in here.
353
00:13:43,378 --> 00:13:45,215
It's just costume gems
and chains.
354
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:48,054
A blingy ball of junk, y'all.
355
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:51,829
Brenda, this isn't cute anymore.
356
00:13:51,896 --> 00:13:54,200
Where the hell are you?
357
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:11,167
Oh, my God, Wayne was right.
Stacy is bad news.
358
00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:12,571
Why is she so obsessed
with me?
359
00:14:12,637 --> 00:14:14,575
I got to warn
Violet and David!
360
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:17,213
‐Aah!
‐Aah!
361
00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:19,952
This day could not
get any worse.
362
00:14:20,018 --> 00:14:22,089
I'm trying out
for equestrian tomorrow,
363
00:14:22,156 --> 00:14:25,329
but my nemesis Kimberly
spooked my prize steed.
364
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:29,103
Looks like I'm gonna have to
put down another horse.
365
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:31,107
God, I wish I could see that.
366
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,078
You're obviously invited,
Joshua.
367
00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:35,984
‐Chill. You're on the list.
‐No, Britney.
368
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:38,990
I can't see it
because I'm blind.
369
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:41,427
But you drove us here.
370
00:14:41,494 --> 00:14:43,265
‐On pure instinct.
‐(crunch)
371
00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,768
Hang on, what's this?
372
00:14:44,835 --> 00:14:47,707
Don't open it, it's my mother's
eating disorder diary.
373
00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:49,143
No, David, I'm serious.
374
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,513
What the hell is this?
375
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,584
It looks like the walkie‐talkie
Stacy had.
376
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:54,186
MAN'S VOICE (over comm):Oh, yeah!
377
00:14:54,253 --> 00:14:57,326
Oh, my God.
This means there's no Dale.
378
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:59,531
(gasps):
David.
379
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:02,837
‐Aah!
‐Oh, yeah!
380
00:15:02,904 --> 00:15:04,240
Jenny, Jenny...
381
00:15:04,307 --> 00:15:06,210
I already know.
Lacy's bad.
382
00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:08,114
It's Stacy,
and she's a mannequin.
383
00:15:08,181 --> 00:15:11,622
And her boyfriend is, too.
Tell her, Betty.
384
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:12,857
‐Betty?
‐Oh, my God.
385
00:15:12,924 --> 00:15:14,561
Mother?
386
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:16,799
BETTY (shouting):
I got kidnapped, too,
you dummy!
387
00:15:16,865 --> 00:15:19,303
STACY (over mall intercom):
♪ I'm like a bird ♪
388
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:22,376
♪ I'll only fly away ♪
389
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:25,717
‐♪ I don't knowwhere my soul is ♪
‐(carousel music playing)
390
00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:29,056
♪ I don't knowwhere my home is. ♪
391
00:15:33,264 --> 00:15:35,335
STACY:
♪ I'm like a bird ♪
392
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,674
♪ I'll only fly away... ♪
393
00:15:37,741 --> 00:15:40,011
Okay, listen,
we got the upper hand here.
394
00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:42,483
I'll take the elevator and
come up to her from behind.
395
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:45,923
You take the escalator
and distract her from the front.
396
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,927
‐Perfect plan.
‐You ready?
397
00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:49,765
One, two...
398
00:15:49,831 --> 00:15:52,637
I'm sorry, Jenny.
I forgot that, on principle,
399
00:15:52,704 --> 00:15:54,373
I won't hit a woman.
400
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,077
You don't even think
she is a woman.
401
00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:57,647
Well, she's still
shaped like one.
402
00:15:57,714 --> 00:16:01,087
Look who's here.
The queen of the mall.
403
00:16:01,154 --> 00:16:02,456
Stacy, what are you doing?
404
00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:03,893
You can't just tie people up.
405
00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:05,997
Let 'em go.
I'll help you.
406
00:16:06,063 --> 00:16:07,834
Oh, I'm afraid
I can't do that.
407
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:11,474
But while they're all tied up,
why not have a picnic with me?
408
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,344
I got all the best mall food.
409
00:16:13,411 --> 00:16:16,317
I got Panda Express,
Dippin' Dots, and look,
410
00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:17,720
a King Cheesesteak Potato
411
00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:21,027
from the Great American
Potato Company. Mmm.
412
00:16:21,093 --> 00:16:23,231
No, Tracy!
This food is so moldy
413
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:24,366
it's practically penicillin.
414
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:26,972
You build up a tolerance, Jenny!
415
00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:29,076
And the name is Stacy!
416
00:16:29,143 --> 00:16:30,613
Jenny, there's a kill switch.
417
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,684
Yeah, but how
am I gonna get there?
418
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:33,819
Do your jump, girl.
419
00:16:33,886 --> 00:16:35,088
I don't think I can.
420
00:16:35,155 --> 00:16:36,825
I'm not the same person I was.
421
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,094
Come on, I believe in you.
422
00:16:38,161 --> 00:16:39,463
Do the jump!
423
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,873
‐♪ ♪
‐(grunts)
424
00:16:43,939 --> 00:16:46,210
♪ ♪
425
00:16:46,812 --> 00:16:48,381
(carousel music playing)
426
00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:49,651
Okay, that's on me.
427
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,387
Why are you doing this,
Stephanie?
428
00:16:51,454 --> 00:16:54,026
Stacy! Stacy! Stacy!
429
00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:55,796
Why is it so hard
to remember?
430
00:16:55,863 --> 00:16:58,903
It's the most clichéd name
for a mall rat.
431
00:16:58,969 --> 00:17:00,405
While the whole world
432
00:17:00,472 --> 00:17:03,378
was celebrating you,
Jennifer Hart,
433
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:05,115
I was there, too.
434
00:17:05,181 --> 00:17:07,252
Let me refresh your memory.
435
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,223
(applause)
436
00:17:09,290 --> 00:17:11,828
I love you, Jenny!
437
00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:13,264
Could you sign my poster?
438
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:14,935
Hey, can I get
a picture with you?
439
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,972
(vocalizing)
440
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:18,976
You guys wanna hang out?
441
00:17:19,043 --> 00:17:21,280
♪ ♪
442
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:29,096
Uh‐uh, this is for
Jenny Hart.
443
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,438
♪ ♪
444
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:42,322
Oh, yeah, we were
definitely bitches.
445
00:17:42,389 --> 00:17:44,126
Stacy, I'm really sorry.
446
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:46,531
Too little too late.
447
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:49,336
I dedicated my life to you...
and my book,
448
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,773
Mall In The Family, colon,
449
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,442
Friendship Is A KioskNamed Love.
450
00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:54,213
On sale now at Waldenbooks.
451
00:17:54,279 --> 00:17:55,583
Aw, it's closed.
452
00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,319
Don't you get it?
The mall is closed.
453
00:17:57,386 --> 00:17:59,591
You're closed.
This mall was my life.
454
00:17:59,658 --> 00:18:02,530
Even after they shuttered it,
I kept coming back day after day
455
00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:05,402
hoping that maybe Jenny Hart
would hang out with me.
456
00:18:05,468 --> 00:18:08,374
And then I figured out a way
to get Jenny Hart here.
457
00:18:08,441 --> 00:18:10,445
‐JENNY: The flier.
‐And now that you're here,
458
00:18:10,513 --> 00:18:12,049
you get to die with me.
459
00:18:12,115 --> 00:18:13,317
Y'all do.
460
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,255
And she just lost me.
461
00:18:15,321 --> 00:18:17,092
She just lost you?
462
00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:20,733
So now we get to transition
to the great mall in the sky.
463
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,006
And you can be the queen,
and we'll be together
464
00:18:24,073 --> 00:18:27,212
Forever... 21.
465
00:18:27,279 --> 00:18:29,584
Wayne, you untied yourself.
466
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,353
Get us the hell off this thing.
467
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,324
Yep, that's the plan.
468
00:18:33,391 --> 00:18:34,961
Just having a...
(nervous chuckle)
469
00:18:35,028 --> 00:18:36,998
...little bit of trouble moving
with her, uh,
470
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:38,769
‐mannequin boyfriend staring
right at me.
‐(rats squeaking)
471
00:18:38,836 --> 00:18:41,641
Wait, that's right.
He's her boyfriend.
472
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,344
He's our way out of this.
473
00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:46,083
The one thing that will
get to her is jealousy.
474
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:47,820
It's classic teen drama stuff.
475
00:18:47,887 --> 00:18:48,822
So what do I do?
476
00:18:48,889 --> 00:18:49,858
You know what to do.
477
00:18:49,924 --> 00:18:51,360
Make her jealous
with a performance
478
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:53,264
worthy of a Teen Choice Award.
479
00:18:53,331 --> 00:18:55,736
Oh, my God, you're right.
480
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:57,740
♪ ♪
481
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,453
Oh, no, Joshua,
is that Dale making out
482
00:19:04,521 --> 00:19:06,190
with the captain
of the lacrosse team?
483
00:19:06,257 --> 00:19:08,695
‐The day before regionals?
‐(gasps)
484
00:19:08,762 --> 00:19:10,766
♪ ♪
485
00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:15,441
♪ Kiss me ♪
486
00:19:15,509 --> 00:19:18,582
♪ Out of the bearded barley ♪
487
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:21,220
♪ Nightly, beside... ♪
488
00:19:21,287 --> 00:19:24,359
No! He said he would
wait for me!
489
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:30,405
♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪
490
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:32,275
He can't swim!
491
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,781
You monster!
Aah!
492
00:19:34,848 --> 00:19:37,285
♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪
493
00:19:37,987 --> 00:19:41,528
Wayne, you freakin' saved all
our lives. You were so brave.
494
00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:43,966
You totally went to
second base with a mannequin.
495
00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,671
Yeah, it used to be a mannequin
would wipe your mind
496
00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:48,575
after something like this,
but nowadays,
497
00:19:48,642 --> 00:19:51,681
‐they have no decency.
‐Oh, good Lord.
498
00:19:51,748 --> 00:19:54,520
Jenny, here you go.
I went back in and got this.
499
00:19:56,357 --> 00:19:59,162
(sighs):
Yeah, you know what,
500
00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:00,799
I think maybe this version of me
501
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,603
should just stay in the past.
502
00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:05,743
Okay, I just risked my life
going back in there,
503
00:20:05,809 --> 00:20:07,412
but... (imitates trumpet)
Whatev.
504
00:20:07,479 --> 00:20:09,817
We've talked about it,
and we think it's best
505
00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:11,988
that Britney and Joshua
die with the mall, too.
506
00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:14,126
Aw, but they were really
growing on me.
507
00:20:14,192 --> 00:20:16,297
Don't worry,
their secret identical twins
508
00:20:16,363 --> 00:20:18,301
‐will collect
the life insurance.
‐(gasps)
509
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,973
Do you mean
Christina Courtney Lohan
510
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,377
and Logan Romijn Stamos?
511
00:20:27,787 --> 00:20:31,427
‐Guys, here it comes.
‐Ooowee, this just in.
512
00:20:31,493 --> 00:20:34,132
A Greenpoint familywas trapped inside the mall
513
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:38,174
with a crazy woman,but made a dramatic escape.
514
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:42,148
An anonymous redheaded sourcetells us that Wayne Edwards
515
00:20:42,215 --> 00:20:46,256
tricked the captor bylocking lips with a mannequin.
516
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:49,530
Talk about ooowee.
517
00:20:49,597 --> 00:20:51,066
Does everyone need to know that?
518
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:54,139
With me now is longtimemall security guard
519
00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:55,709
Dale Everton.
520
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:56,811
‐(gasps)
‐What?
521
00:20:56,878 --> 00:20:58,548
Dale, will it be sad
522
00:20:58,615 --> 00:21:00,519
to see the mall exploded?
523
00:21:00,586 --> 00:21:02,623
Well, it wasa big part of my life.
524
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:04,727
I met my girlfriendStacy there.
525
00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:07,132
Although she passed in 2002.
526
00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:09,336
She got caught upin the carousel.
527
00:21:09,403 --> 00:21:12,208
‐Oh, what?!
‐All right, looks like
528
00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:15,048
the moment is finally here.
529
00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:17,686
‐(rumbling, explosions)
‐(cheering)
530
00:21:20,826 --> 00:21:23,297
All right, got all
the mannequins out of there.
531
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:24,767
Haul 'em away.
532
00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:27,706
♪ Kiss me ♪
533
00:21:27,773 --> 00:21:30,679
♪ Out of the bearded barley. ♪
534
00:21:30,746 --> 00:21:32,917
‐(meows)‐(horn honks musically)
535
00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:35,956
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
39643
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