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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,791 --> 00:00:47,551 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:52,994 --> 00:01:54,459 Yo, Burset. 3 00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:56,669 We're clearing out, man. 4 00:01:58,630 --> 00:01:59,798 What the fuck you doing? 5 00:02:00,259 --> 00:02:02,054 Cap wanted me to document the damage. 6 00:02:02,512 --> 00:02:05,223 You gotta check out this life-sized fucking panda bear they got in their living room, 7 00:02:05,348 --> 00:02:06,307 half burnt. 8 00:02:06,391 --> 00:02:08,060 It's got one melted plastic eye. 9 00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:10,062 Come on, I'll show you. 10 00:02:16,985 --> 00:02:20,113 So I say to her, "You're the third pregnant girl I've rescued this month." 11 00:02:20,279 --> 00:02:23,241 She goes, "But, I'm not pregnant!" And I go, "You're not rescued yet!" 12 00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:25,869 Hey, Burset, where the fuck you going? 13 00:02:25,952 --> 00:02:27,328 Gotta drain the hose. 14 00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:30,916 Anyway, you know the fucking crying guy with the cat? Remember him? 15 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,918 I kept telling him the cat wasn't in the house. 16 00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,460 He kept screaming that I gotta go back in. 17 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:48,906 Laundry is now available for pick-up. 18 00:04:09,264 --> 00:04:10,974 You sick fuck, do that in the bathroom. 19 00:04:12,309 --> 00:04:13,559 I got cancer. 20 00:04:19,732 --> 00:04:21,526 Is he allowed to watch us like that? 21 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,028 Pornstache? 22 00:04:24,237 --> 00:04:26,239 He does whatever he wants. 23 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:28,574 One of these days, you're gonna have to change your panties, Chapman. 24 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,869 That shit's gotta be getting ripe. 25 00:04:30,952 --> 00:04:32,537 Look at this. 26 00:04:32,662 --> 00:04:36,082 I asked Sophia to do my roots, she says there's a two-week waiting list. 27 00:04:36,374 --> 00:04:40,920 I wouldn't let that he-she touch my hair with a 10-foot pole. 28 00:04:41,046 --> 00:04:44,326 Well, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and go bald everywhere but in the tits like Rosa. 29 00:04:44,382 --> 00:04:47,302 And Sophia's pole is a hole now. 30 00:04:47,426 --> 00:04:49,637 Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz, 31 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:52,015 report to your counselor for your bunk assignments. 32 00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,100 Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz. 33 00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:55,310 Finally. 34 00:04:55,476 --> 00:04:57,187 Wait, you got assigned? 35 00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:58,604 This is bullshit. 36 00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,315 You know, I did my time in SHU. 37 00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:03,235 How much longer are they gonna keep me in here with Darth Vader and Mr. Clean? 38 00:05:03,401 --> 00:05:05,195 Fuck you. 39 00:05:05,362 --> 00:05:07,030 Why didn't I get assigned? 40 00:05:07,906 --> 00:05:10,408 They're probably sending her to Spanish Harlem. 41 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:12,744 They're gonna put you in The Suburbs with the other white people. 42 00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:14,954 So how do they choose your roommate? 43 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,581 Why? 44 00:05:16,706 --> 00:05:19,584 You afraid you're gonna end up with your rocka-lezzie girlfriend? 45 00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:35,016 "Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement." 46 00:05:37,602 --> 00:05:39,104 Oh, I'm sorry. 47 00:05:40,479 --> 00:05:43,108 Bitch, don't be cutting! There's a line here. 48 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,985 Um, for the toilet? I just need to pee. 49 00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:47,444 Can I pee? 50 00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:49,406 Go pee, kid. 51 00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:51,241 This better be hot. 52 00:05:51,324 --> 00:05:54,660 If I find another clump of hair in the drain, there's gonna be trouble. 53 00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:57,789 Oh! Gee! I'm sorry. 54 00:05:57,914 --> 00:05:59,665 It's okay, honey, you can look. 55 00:05:59,791 --> 00:06:01,793 I spent a lot of money for it. 56 00:06:03,502 --> 00:06:05,504 Go ahead, it's all yours. 57 00:06:06,214 --> 00:06:08,758 That's okay, I think I'll just wait. 58 00:06:09,175 --> 00:06:10,843 You gonna be waiting a long time, now. 59 00:06:16,015 --> 00:06:17,434 She's talking to the devil. 60 00:06:17,516 --> 00:06:19,060 Yeah, I got that part. 61 00:06:19,227 --> 00:06:21,229 That's Satan's stall. 62 00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:22,981 At least Satan gets a door. 63 00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:24,607 Give it a week. 64 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,402 You'll be pissing and farting with the rest of us. 65 00:06:28,445 --> 00:06:30,165 Your commissary ain't come in yet? 66 00:06:31,114 --> 00:06:32,865 Oh, I think so. 67 00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:35,910 My ID number doesn't shop until tomorrow. 68 00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,829 You better hope they got what you need. 69 00:06:37,954 --> 00:06:40,457 Ain't had powder foundation in dark for three months. 70 00:06:40,539 --> 00:06:42,667 I can't be walking around here with white face on. 71 00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:47,130 But those sad pair of shower shoes are not gonna save you. 72 00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:48,589 You need some of these. 73 00:06:49,632 --> 00:06:51,009 I made my own. 74 00:06:51,092 --> 00:06:52,135 Couture. 75 00:06:52,218 --> 00:06:54,637 Commissary don't carry a size 13. 76 00:06:55,554 --> 00:06:56,973 Is that duct tape? 77 00:06:57,098 --> 00:06:59,184 Metallics are very in this season. 78 00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:04,272 Don't hold your big bathroom too long. Prison food stops you right up. 79 00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:05,857 You gotta get it out while you can. 80 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:10,653 If you wanna skip that shower line, do the 5:00 a.m. or the 5:00 p.m. 81 00:07:10,736 --> 00:07:12,030 That's my secret. 82 00:07:12,697 --> 00:07:14,491 Why are you telling me all of this? 83 00:07:14,573 --> 00:07:16,201 'Cause I fucked up your hair. 84 00:07:16,326 --> 00:07:18,203 That shit looks broke. 85 00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:21,373 When your commissary comes in, swing by the salon. 86 00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:23,875 I'll fix it right up for you. 87 00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:26,503 Okay. Thank you. 88 00:07:27,586 --> 00:07:31,049 There's no point in playing shy, baby. You're home. 89 00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:04,082 Medical staff to the iso ward... 90 00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:06,000 Now, that's a fucking waste right there. 91 00:08:06,084 --> 00:08:08,086 Black girl with a white girl booty. 92 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,380 I mean, what's the point? 93 00:08:10,755 --> 00:08:13,466 Ooh, watch out for this one, man. 94 00:08:13,591 --> 00:08:15,260 She looks real good, and then she opens her mouth. 95 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:19,389 She's got those snaggly fucking Gargamel teeth. 96 00:08:19,472 --> 00:08:22,100 Fucking meth heads, man. 97 00:08:26,104 --> 00:08:28,189 Now, that right there? 98 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:31,484 That's a whole different species, my friend. 99 00:08:31,609 --> 00:08:33,861 Hey, Burset. 100 00:08:35,654 --> 00:08:37,449 Come over here. 101 00:08:37,574 --> 00:08:39,974 Prisoner maintenance detail for the shower room. 102 00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:46,791 Mmm. Smell that. 103 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,626 That smell good to you? 104 00:08:48,751 --> 00:08:50,044 Mickey D's? 105 00:08:51,045 --> 00:08:53,506 How long's it been since you had one of these? 106 00:08:55,216 --> 00:08:57,302 - Long time. - Mmm-hmm. 107 00:08:57,469 --> 00:08:58,844 Do you want some? 108 00:08:59,637 --> 00:09:01,306 You offering me a taste? 109 00:09:02,348 --> 00:09:04,642 You can suck it out of my dick. 110 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:08,354 I don't do sausage in my breakfast sandwich. 111 00:09:12,024 --> 00:09:14,486 What the fuck are you doing inside the CO bubble? 112 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:21,326 Your foot's over the line, Burset. You better get back before I give you a shot. 113 00:09:24,412 --> 00:09:26,122 Shit is wild, right? 114 00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:27,499 Freaky. 115 00:09:27,999 --> 00:09:30,001 Freaky-deaky. Freaktown. 116 00:09:31,836 --> 00:09:33,338 Cyborg pussy. 117 00:09:34,339 --> 00:09:36,674 I bet it's fucking perfect. 118 00:09:37,675 --> 00:09:39,276 Don't tell me you'd hit that? 119 00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:40,970 I live in the present, not in the past. 120 00:09:41,053 --> 00:09:43,181 Besides, she used to have a dick, 121 00:09:43,306 --> 00:09:45,350 and so she knows what it likes. 122 00:09:52,273 --> 00:09:54,733 What'd you guys do about pussy in Iraq anyway? 123 00:09:55,527 --> 00:09:56,986 Did you fuck camels? 124 00:09:57,111 --> 00:09:58,571 I was in Afghanistan. 125 00:09:58,696 --> 00:10:00,376 And you don't go anywhere near the camels, 126 00:10:00,406 --> 00:10:02,200 'cause sometimes they strap them up with explosives 127 00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:04,743 and run them into camp and... 128 00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:06,745 And if you try to have sex with the girls there, 129 00:10:06,871 --> 00:10:08,498 their village throws rocks at 'em till they die, 130 00:10:08,581 --> 00:10:10,542 so there's not a lot going on. 131 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,710 Plus, they're all dressed like beekeepers. 132 00:10:12,793 --> 00:10:14,962 Occasionally, a Russian hooker comes through, 133 00:10:15,046 --> 00:10:18,049 but those girls are nasty and they cry a lot. 134 00:10:18,257 --> 00:10:20,552 Transporting one to I-S 12. 135 00:10:20,718 --> 00:10:22,928 All these offenders want a piece of me, Bennett. 136 00:10:23,596 --> 00:10:25,264 You know why? 137 00:10:25,723 --> 00:10:27,600 It's the fucking pheromones, man. 138 00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:31,229 You get 'em all locked up like this for a long time, 139 00:10:31,354 --> 00:10:35,066 and they get this prehistoric yearning for man-stink. 140 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:39,654 They fucking hate my guts, you know? 141 00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:42,114 But they can't help themselves. 142 00:10:43,199 --> 00:10:45,284 I'm musty and they love it. 143 00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,287 You don't really... 144 00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,415 What? Fuck 'em? 145 00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:55,086 Hell, no! That's against the rules. 146 00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:57,338 Ladies in the house programs, 147 00:10:57,422 --> 00:10:58,464 we will begin in one hour. 148 00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:00,758 But I tell you what, grasshopper. 149 00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:05,513 Some of these bitches would suck it for half a cigarette. 150 00:11:06,347 --> 00:11:08,140 Swallow. Lift your tongue. 151 00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:10,101 Okay. Move on. 152 00:11:10,518 --> 00:11:11,603 Black! 153 00:11:11,852 --> 00:11:14,105 Take these with food. No check. 154 00:11:14,313 --> 00:11:15,856 Ooh, you got me on the yellow ones. I like the yellow ones. 155 00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:19,110 Lost 10 pounds on the yellow ones. But gave me that horrible rash on my... 156 00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:20,528 Not my problem. 157 00:11:20,945 --> 00:11:21,987 Burset. 158 00:11:25,157 --> 00:11:26,451 What are those? Those aren't my pills. 159 00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:29,120 They are now. Whole prison is going generic. 160 00:11:29,245 --> 00:11:30,829 What's the dose? 161 00:11:30,996 --> 00:11:32,498 .5 milligrams. 162 00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:34,166 Then that ain't enough. I need four of those. 163 00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:35,792 I do what the chart says. 164 00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:37,794 You can't just change my dose. 165 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,631 Talk to your counselor, okay? 166 00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:41,924 Fatovich! 167 00:11:44,761 --> 00:11:47,138 You got a name, girl? 168 00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:49,974 That's your bed, those two are your hooks. 169 00:11:50,099 --> 00:11:52,518 This ain't like the projects in here, I got rules. 170 00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,811 No sleeping all day 'cause it's depressing. 171 00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,314 Clean up after yourself. 172 00:11:56,397 --> 00:12:00,610 If I find a mess on this floor, my floor, you're gonna hear about it. 173 00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:02,320 And keep your food sealed, 174 00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:04,656 because I don't need chipmunks or roaches in here 175 00:12:04,739 --> 00:12:06,449 trying to get their Cup O' Noodles on, 176 00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,409 plus that poor excuse for food stinks to high heaven... 177 00:12:08,493 --> 00:12:11,496 I sleep whenever I want, old lady. 178 00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:16,875 And I don't know what busted-ass country you come from, 179 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:18,753 but this is America, 180 00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:22,465 and if I want noodles, I'll eat noodles. 181 00:12:22,548 --> 00:12:27,219 Now, back off across your floor before I make you that mess you hate so much. 182 00:12:31,557 --> 00:12:32,767 Time to peel that orange, Chapman. 183 00:12:32,849 --> 00:12:34,101 You're one of us now. 184 00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:36,937 One of us. One of us. 185 00:12:37,021 --> 00:12:39,398 Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble. 186 00:12:40,232 --> 00:12:44,861 Inmate Martinez, report for an assignment at the laundry detail. 187 00:12:45,029 --> 00:12:47,114 Nine and a half, right? 188 00:12:50,284 --> 00:12:51,369 Ten. 189 00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:55,540 Did your feet swell when you went back to boys? 190 00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:57,709 Fuck you. 191 00:12:59,752 --> 00:13:01,472 You can't just change people's meds! 192 00:13:01,546 --> 00:13:04,507 I got a line of golden girls complaining about blood pressure pills. 193 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:06,300 Half this prison's on antidepressants. 194 00:13:06,384 --> 00:13:08,704 You take away their Zoloft, they're gonna go off the rails. 195 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,180 Monumentally bad. Monumental pain in my ass. 196 00:13:11,263 --> 00:13:13,558 Your ass? I'm juggling vendor changes, staff reductions. 197 00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:15,560 Look at me, I'm paying for my own coffee here. 198 00:13:15,685 --> 00:13:19,522 I got a tranny camped out in my hallway yelling about her hormones! 199 00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:22,233 He can suck it up. She. Jesus. 200 00:13:22,316 --> 00:13:24,068 She could be a major headache for us. 201 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,944 We are only required to give her enough to maintain. 202 00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,613 It is a federal system. 203 00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:30,449 If he wanted to keep his girlish figure, he should've stayed out of jail. 204 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,993 Why would anyone ever give up being a man? 205 00:13:33,077 --> 00:13:36,455 It's like winning the lottery and giving the ticket back. 206 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:56,726 Hello, baby. 207 00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:01,439 Look at you getting your sweat on. 208 00:14:01,522 --> 00:14:03,107 You look all shiny. 209 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,610 I bet you don't even smell funky. 210 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,987 I knew you wouldn't. 211 00:14:09,447 --> 00:14:12,450 You a real woman, Chapman. A real grown woman. 212 00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:14,410 And not like all these other girls around here. 213 00:14:14,493 --> 00:14:16,913 I can't waste my time with these silly bitches. 214 00:14:16,995 --> 00:14:19,123 I need a real woman. 215 00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:21,793 I'm sure that you'll find one. 216 00:14:21,918 --> 00:14:23,586 - I wrote a poem, you wanna hear? - You know, that's fine... 217 00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:28,466 "Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape 218 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:32,929 "But now, it look like fire in the sky 219 00:14:33,011 --> 00:14:39,977 "Why? Because you light a fire inside me" 220 00:14:44,106 --> 00:14:45,483 Wow. 221 00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,196 I wrote it for you. 222 00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,827 You know, my fianc� is a writer. 223 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,707 I'm gonna call you Dandelion. 224 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:05,294 'Cause they're pretty, and yellow, just like you. 225 00:15:06,629 --> 00:15:07,880 Everybody out! Let's go! 226 00:15:08,088 --> 00:15:09,674 Oh! Thank you. 227 00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:13,177 What's going on? 228 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,261 Locking up the track. 229 00:15:14,345 --> 00:15:15,972 - Why? - Budget cuts. 230 00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:17,682 No staff to cover it. 231 00:15:17,849 --> 00:15:20,017 But I have to run. 232 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,436 This is the only thing that makes me feel normal. 233 00:15:22,561 --> 00:15:25,022 Ya'll gonna have to do your swirl someplace else. 234 00:15:25,982 --> 00:15:27,316 Swirl? 235 00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:30,277 Chocolate and vanilla. 236 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:36,534 Swir-irl. Swir-irl. 237 00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:42,498 The bottom line is that the prison can no longer provide high-end hormones. 238 00:15:42,581 --> 00:15:46,335 If I don't get my medication, I'm going through withdrawal. 239 00:15:46,418 --> 00:15:50,840 Hot flashes, night sweats. My face will sag, my body hair will start to grow back. 240 00:15:51,007 --> 00:15:52,216 Okay, we don't need to get into... 241 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,218 Let me explain this for you. 242 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:57,346 When my penis was split in half and inverted, 243 00:15:57,429 --> 00:15:59,515 my testes were removed, 244 00:15:59,598 --> 00:16:01,893 so I don't have any testosterone left 245 00:16:01,976 --> 00:16:05,354 to replace the estrogen that you taking away from me! 246 00:16:05,437 --> 00:16:08,065 Okay, okay! What do you want from me? 247 00:16:10,275 --> 00:16:11,736 I wanna see a doctor. 248 00:16:11,861 --> 00:16:13,901 You can't go to the clinic unless it's an emergency. 249 00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:15,447 This is an emergency. 250 00:16:15,573 --> 00:16:17,241 Yeah, well, we don't see it that way. 251 00:16:22,371 --> 00:16:23,414 Was there something else? 252 00:16:24,498 --> 00:16:25,583 Yes. 253 00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:38,220 I'd like to report an emergency. 254 00:16:40,848 --> 00:16:43,559 Man, new bunkie's trying to lay down all these rules and shit. 255 00:16:43,642 --> 00:16:47,479 "Dis go here. Dat go there. Dis how you be wipin' your bunghole." 256 00:16:47,646 --> 00:16:49,565 Wait, you got assigned? What dorm are you in? 257 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,945 Yo, girl, be careful messing with Miss Claudette. That woman is no joke. 258 00:16:54,236 --> 00:16:56,989 What, is she gonna put a voodoo curse on me? 259 00:16:57,073 --> 00:16:59,742 Island bitch got control issues. 260 00:16:59,825 --> 00:17:02,453 Word is she killed someone. That's why she doin' so much time. 261 00:17:02,536 --> 00:17:03,704 Yeah, I believe it, too. 262 00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:05,748 You look in her eyes and know she seen some shit. 263 00:17:05,831 --> 00:17:06,832 I'm not scared of her. 264 00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:08,042 You should be. 265 00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:11,879 I hear when she was down the hill she threw a pot of boiling water in her bunkie's face. 266 00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:15,716 Burned her eyelids off. She be looking like Beetlejuice and shit. 267 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,968 So? 268 00:17:17,134 --> 00:17:18,552 Let her come at me. 269 00:17:18,636 --> 00:17:20,262 Yo, come on, now. 270 00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:21,869 She'll see what she be messing with. 271 00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:24,475 Yo, the lady ain't taken a visitor in 10 years 272 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,268 'cause she won't do strip search. 273 00:17:26,351 --> 00:17:28,479 And she ain't dookied 274 00:17:28,646 --> 00:17:30,230 - the whole time she been locked up. - Oh, come on. 275 00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:31,356 No, I'm serious. 276 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,317 - That's crazy. - Nah, for reals. 277 00:17:33,442 --> 00:17:37,154 No one's ever seen her use the stalls! That's the truth. She don't poop. 278 00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:40,658 She probably got a voodoo spell stopping up her butt. 279 00:17:40,825 --> 00:17:42,326 That's some steel right there. 280 00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:54,880 Maxi pads with wings are back in the commissary. 281 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:03,139 Swing shift guard detail. P.m. cell check commences at 2130 hours. 282 00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:16,652 I had to rub Red's feet for this. 45 minutes. 283 00:18:16,777 --> 00:18:18,362 You can't sit there. 284 00:18:19,237 --> 00:18:21,157 How long are you gonna do this? 285 00:18:21,699 --> 00:18:23,784 We both live here. We have to deal with each other. 286 00:18:23,868 --> 00:18:25,202 No, we don't. 287 00:18:25,327 --> 00:18:27,788 I plan on spending my entire sentence avoiding you. 288 00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:28,914 Get over it. 289 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,625 We did some illegal shit and we both got caught. 290 00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:33,878 You stole my life. 291 00:18:35,838 --> 00:18:38,883 You stole my good life that I made after you. 292 00:18:40,384 --> 00:18:42,302 Stay the fuck away from me. 293 00:18:44,805 --> 00:18:47,892 Ladies, in-house programs will begin in one hour. 294 00:18:47,975 --> 00:18:49,852 Is there a problem here? 295 00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:52,063 No. 296 00:18:52,855 --> 00:18:55,066 You bothering my friend here? 297 00:18:56,108 --> 00:18:59,236 Dandelion, she bothering you? 298 00:18:59,403 --> 00:19:01,488 No, we were just talking. 299 00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:05,743 Yeah, she is bothering me. 300 00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:09,922 Then you need to be on your way. 'Cause she don't like talking to you. 301 00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:12,750 Not one bit. 302 00:19:14,251 --> 00:19:15,293 Are you kidding me? 303 00:19:15,419 --> 00:19:17,254 Move, bitch. 304 00:19:17,337 --> 00:19:19,097 This is my wife here, so you need to step... 305 00:19:19,173 --> 00:19:20,716 Well, no, I'm not actually your... 306 00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:24,595 I will cut you! I will cut you, bitch! 307 00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:26,555 Don't make me cut you! 308 00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:31,060 You know where the fuck you at, bitch? You don't know me! 309 00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,270 Take it easy, take it easy. 310 00:19:37,816 --> 00:19:41,153 It's all right. We all good. 311 00:19:42,404 --> 00:19:43,655 Mmm-hmm. 312 00:19:56,127 --> 00:19:57,461 I'm not your wife. 313 00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:00,714 I threw my pie for you. 314 00:20:06,637 --> 00:20:09,848 The head should pass through your body in three to five days. 315 00:20:09,974 --> 00:20:11,976 Unless you start vomiting or have severe cramping, 316 00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:15,104 it's best just to let the body eliminate this on its own. 317 00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:16,814 I'm gonna have to shit it out. 318 00:20:16,981 --> 00:20:20,692 If it made it down your esophagus, it should travel the rest of the way. 319 00:20:20,818 --> 00:20:23,070 If it doesn't pass in a week, we'll consider surgery. 320 00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,863 Pay close attention to your stool. 321 00:20:24,989 --> 00:20:26,490 I don't think I could miss it. 322 00:20:26,657 --> 00:20:29,160 I'm going to have to put you on suicide watch. 323 00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:32,037 What? Why? 324 00:20:32,163 --> 00:20:34,498 We take swallowers very seriously. 325 00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:37,876 You really think I would've eaten a bobble-head if I wanted to kill myself? 326 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:40,629 Listen, Doc, I need my dosage. 327 00:20:41,338 --> 00:20:46,302 I've given five years, $80,000 and my freedom for this. 328 00:20:46,384 --> 00:20:49,763 I'm finally who I'm supposed to be. Do you understand? 329 00:20:49,847 --> 00:20:51,556 I can't go back. 330 00:20:52,516 --> 00:20:53,684 Look, 331 00:20:54,643 --> 00:20:56,478 I'd like to help you. 332 00:20:57,354 --> 00:21:00,316 Unfortunately, you have elevated levels of AST and ALT, 333 00:21:00,398 --> 00:21:01,900 which could mean liver damage... 334 00:21:02,026 --> 00:21:04,486 That's bullshit. That could mean anything. 335 00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:08,073 We're gonna take you off your hormones entirely... 336 00:21:08,199 --> 00:21:09,616 - What? - ...until we can schedule an ultrasound. 337 00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:10,993 Get a clean read. 338 00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:12,870 But that could take months. 339 00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,580 I can offer you an antidepressant. 340 00:21:16,874 --> 00:21:17,958 I can't take it! 341 00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:19,710 Can I open 'em? 342 00:21:21,545 --> 00:21:23,547 All righty. Open 'em. 343 00:21:26,884 --> 00:21:28,344 Oh, my God. 344 00:21:28,426 --> 00:21:30,221 - Good or bad? - Not good. 345 00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:34,892 You look like Hannah Montana. That skirt is... 346 00:21:35,059 --> 00:21:37,061 I thought it was so cute. 347 00:21:37,936 --> 00:21:40,064 That's what happens when I shop for myself. 348 00:21:40,981 --> 00:21:42,900 It's 'cause I never got to be a teenage girl. 349 00:21:42,983 --> 00:21:44,568 And you never will be. 350 00:21:44,693 --> 00:21:47,487 You should be dressing like a classy grown-up lady. 351 00:21:48,197 --> 00:21:49,573 You think I'm classy? 352 00:21:49,781 --> 00:21:53,410 I can't have my husband walking 'round like a $2 hooker. 353 00:21:53,952 --> 00:21:55,329 Let's see. 354 00:21:57,915 --> 00:21:59,208 Ah. 355 00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,253 Yeah, this color looks good on you. 356 00:22:02,878 --> 00:22:04,255 Come here. 357 00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:32,490 Can't believe I'm doing this. 358 00:22:33,491 --> 00:22:34,826 You don't have to. 359 00:22:35,953 --> 00:22:37,288 Hmm. 360 00:22:37,913 --> 00:22:39,373 Okay. 361 00:22:39,831 --> 00:22:41,625 That is much better. 362 00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:47,131 I can't zip it, but you get the idea. 363 00:22:51,218 --> 00:22:54,930 Holy shit. I look hot. 364 00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:04,940 Please keep it. 365 00:23:05,816 --> 00:23:07,151 Crystal... 366 00:23:07,234 --> 00:23:10,112 I'm fine with the rest of it. The hair and the makeup. 367 00:23:10,195 --> 00:23:12,823 I'll teach you all of it. You'll be a pro. 368 00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:18,370 Just please keep your penis. 369 00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:22,624 - You know I can't. - For me. 370 00:23:27,879 --> 00:23:29,256 You don't have to stay. 371 00:23:33,844 --> 00:23:35,012 No? 372 00:23:35,553 --> 00:23:38,849 Where would I go? I mean, this is my family. 373 00:23:46,731 --> 00:23:50,652 I got this for you. You can try it on if you want. 374 00:23:50,735 --> 00:23:52,112 I'm 10 pounds up. 375 00:23:52,237 --> 00:23:55,324 Besides, your tits are better than mine. 376 00:23:57,159 --> 00:23:58,702 You're perfect. 377 00:23:58,827 --> 00:24:00,204 Come here. 378 00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:20,640 - You can't leave me alone with my mother. - I know, I know. 379 00:24:20,724 --> 00:24:23,559 I promised your brother I'd help him fix the roof of his trailer. 380 00:24:23,685 --> 00:24:25,270 I need a buffer! 381 00:24:25,396 --> 00:24:27,231 Why can't you just come and visit me 382 00:24:27,314 --> 00:24:29,066 every single waking moment that you're allowed to 383 00:24:29,191 --> 00:24:31,193 and make your life all about me? 384 00:24:31,402 --> 00:24:35,280 Piper, we talked about this, okay? Visits every other week, so I can have a life. 385 00:24:35,406 --> 00:24:37,241 You said that. These are your words. 386 00:24:37,324 --> 00:24:38,742 But I'm an idiot. 387 00:24:38,909 --> 00:24:41,370 Okay, here's the game, 388 00:24:41,453 --> 00:24:43,663 you remember every rude thing she says, all right? 389 00:24:43,747 --> 00:24:44,789 And then next week, 390 00:24:44,915 --> 00:24:48,502 we will rank them in order from kind of crazy 391 00:24:48,584 --> 00:24:51,088 to truly bat-shit bananas. 392 00:24:51,213 --> 00:24:53,465 It'll be fun! Come on, Piper. 393 00:24:54,258 --> 00:24:56,510 I can't cancel. He's living under a tarp. 394 00:24:56,676 --> 00:24:58,053 Jesus. 395 00:24:58,678 --> 00:25:01,390 When is he gonna get his shit together? 396 00:25:01,515 --> 00:25:04,435 I'm not sure that Cal gets the "family fuck-up" title anymore. 397 00:25:07,812 --> 00:25:10,065 You okay, Pipes? 398 00:25:10,315 --> 00:25:12,859 In-house programs start in one hour. 399 00:25:12,984 --> 00:25:14,570 Are those groceries? 400 00:25:14,778 --> 00:25:17,281 Yes. But... 401 00:25:17,406 --> 00:25:19,116 You forgot to bring the bags. 402 00:25:20,451 --> 00:25:25,539 Uh, I did, but I'm gonna eat the bag later, so don't worry. Planet is safe. 403 00:25:25,747 --> 00:25:28,292 Did you go to Whole Foods? What did you get? 404 00:25:28,417 --> 00:25:29,918 A bunch of stuff. 405 00:25:30,085 --> 00:25:35,799 No, no, no. Be specific. Tell me everything. In detail. Just take me away. 406 00:25:36,716 --> 00:25:40,304 Okay, um, I got some crispy snap peas, 407 00:25:40,429 --> 00:25:43,181 I got some cherry juice for my smoothies. 408 00:25:43,307 --> 00:25:45,225 Oh, God, smoothies. 409 00:25:46,143 --> 00:25:49,480 Then some purple kale, Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies. 410 00:25:49,563 --> 00:25:52,232 I can feel them in my mouth. 411 00:25:54,276 --> 00:25:58,322 Then I got, um, you know, those bulk roasted almonds. 412 00:25:58,405 --> 00:26:02,367 You know, with the sugar coating on the top? 413 00:26:02,493 --> 00:26:03,693 Yeah, yeah, the crack almonds. 414 00:26:03,785 --> 00:26:05,245 The crack almonds. 415 00:26:06,913 --> 00:26:10,708 And, uh, well, then I got some heirloom tomatoes. 416 00:26:11,751 --> 00:26:14,171 Last of the season, you know? 417 00:26:14,296 --> 00:26:19,009 Super plump and ripe. Engorged almost. 418 00:26:19,092 --> 00:26:23,054 With some wet, juicy buffalo mozzarella. 419 00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:26,141 And some sweet, sweet-ass organic blueberries. 420 00:26:26,266 --> 00:26:27,851 Mmm. 421 00:26:27,976 --> 00:26:30,521 My cock is hard. And I'm rubbing it against your ass. 422 00:26:30,604 --> 00:26:31,729 What? What? 423 00:26:31,855 --> 00:26:34,274 - What? - Are you trying to have phone sex with me? 424 00:26:34,358 --> 00:26:38,529 I thought that's what we... I'm confused. 425 00:26:39,112 --> 00:26:42,032 There are guards listening. They sit in a bubble and they listen. 426 00:26:42,115 --> 00:26:43,699 I'm sure people do it all the time. 427 00:26:44,618 --> 00:26:46,620 And there's a woman weeping next to me. 428 00:26:48,205 --> 00:26:53,418 Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today. 429 00:26:53,835 --> 00:26:56,046 Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. 430 00:26:56,213 --> 00:26:59,216 No, it's okay. I'm, uh... 431 00:26:59,341 --> 00:27:02,010 I'm reliving my youth. I'm 14 again. 432 00:27:02,177 --> 00:27:04,429 I know. I don't wanna... 433 00:27:04,555 --> 00:27:05,721 I love you. 434 00:27:08,350 --> 00:27:09,934 I love your little boobs. 435 00:27:10,310 --> 00:27:12,728 Oh, my God! 436 00:27:13,729 --> 00:27:14,856 No! 437 00:27:21,863 --> 00:27:24,700 You're not allowed to put stuff on the walls. 438 00:27:24,866 --> 00:27:27,077 Everyone has stuff on their walls. 439 00:27:28,412 --> 00:27:29,580 Officer! 440 00:27:31,289 --> 00:27:32,666 What's going on? 441 00:27:32,748 --> 00:27:34,918 Tell her she gotta take that ugly shit down. 442 00:27:39,423 --> 00:27:40,591 Your kid draw that? 443 00:27:42,259 --> 00:27:43,301 I did. 444 00:27:44,886 --> 00:27:46,722 - Sorry, I didn't mean... - No, it's okay. 445 00:27:46,804 --> 00:27:50,141 I kind of messed it up. My eyes are too small. 446 00:27:51,226 --> 00:27:52,728 No, it's nice. 447 00:27:53,645 --> 00:27:55,855 I mean, it's cool that you can draw, you know? 448 00:27:55,939 --> 00:27:57,190 It's art. 449 00:27:58,442 --> 00:28:00,860 Oh, so you gonna allow that shit? 450 00:28:04,114 --> 00:28:05,907 She can leave it up. 451 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,161 Fine. 452 00:28:10,287 --> 00:28:13,206 Then I'm gonna put my pictures up of Kanye. 453 00:28:13,789 --> 00:28:18,253 - What did you do to your hair? - I had to give it to a transsexual. 454 00:28:18,336 --> 00:28:19,879 For a weave. 455 00:28:21,089 --> 00:28:22,966 Interesting. 456 00:28:23,091 --> 00:28:26,678 Your dad sends his love. He wanted to come, but... 457 00:28:26,802 --> 00:28:28,722 No, I get it. He doesn't wanna see me like this. 458 00:28:28,804 --> 00:28:29,973 Here. 459 00:28:30,098 --> 00:28:32,142 They didn't frisk me at the door. 460 00:28:32,267 --> 00:28:34,728 I mean, this could totally be a fake belly full of drugs. 461 00:28:34,811 --> 00:28:36,313 How would they ever know? 462 00:28:36,438 --> 00:28:39,899 I get strip searched on the way out. Squat and cough. 463 00:28:40,150 --> 00:28:41,943 Oh, Piper, please. 464 00:28:42,026 --> 00:28:45,071 You didn't touch anything in that bathroom, did you? 465 00:28:45,155 --> 00:28:48,032 Everything around here is so sticky. 466 00:28:48,158 --> 00:28:51,787 But the people are much cleaner than I thought they'd be. 467 00:28:53,538 --> 00:28:55,206 How are you feeling, Pol? 468 00:28:55,957 --> 00:28:58,335 Large. Hostile. Nothing new. 469 00:28:58,460 --> 00:29:02,088 I am so excited for you. For all of us. 470 00:29:02,172 --> 00:29:04,466 It is so smart to do this now. 471 00:29:04,549 --> 00:29:08,261 I told Piper, it's much harder to conceive when you're in your late 30s. 472 00:29:08,970 --> 00:29:10,013 Thanks, Mom. 473 00:29:10,138 --> 00:29:11,556 Oh, but it's true. 474 00:29:11,682 --> 00:29:14,225 You just don't have a lot of time to waste. 475 00:29:14,351 --> 00:29:18,730 That's exactly what I need right now. A reminder of my ebbing fertility. 476 00:29:22,651 --> 00:29:24,611 I'll go get some snacks. 477 00:29:28,699 --> 00:29:32,118 The whole way up she hummed �dith Piaf songs and ate pistachios. 478 00:29:32,869 --> 00:29:36,164 You owe me. I wanted alone time with you. 479 00:29:36,832 --> 00:29:38,041 I have a wife! 480 00:29:38,208 --> 00:29:40,210 - What? - A prison wife. 481 00:29:40,293 --> 00:29:42,713 Her name is Crazy Eyes and she follows me everywhere. 482 00:29:42,879 --> 00:29:44,339 That really happens? 483 00:29:44,881 --> 00:29:46,174 Jeez. 484 00:29:46,257 --> 00:29:49,886 Are her eyes, like, bulgy or crossed, or is one lid kind of droopy? 485 00:29:50,053 --> 00:29:51,388 - What kind of crazy? - They're just crazy. 486 00:29:51,471 --> 00:29:53,849 They're just full of crazy. It's terrifying. 487 00:29:53,931 --> 00:29:56,476 I'm afraid to tell Larry because I don't want him to worry. 488 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,354 But she's extremely persistent. 489 00:29:59,437 --> 00:30:01,523 She follows me everywhere. 490 00:30:01,898 --> 00:30:03,400 She threw pie for me. 491 00:30:03,567 --> 00:30:05,068 Did she rape you? 492 00:30:05,193 --> 00:30:07,904 - No, she didn't rape me. - Oh. 493 00:30:07,987 --> 00:30:09,989 But she held my hand. 494 00:30:10,365 --> 00:30:12,158 Aw! That's kind of sweet. 495 00:30:12,242 --> 00:30:15,370 I wish Pete would hold my hand. But he says it makes his palms sweat. 496 00:30:15,453 --> 00:30:17,213 And he won't stop laughing in birthing class. 497 00:30:17,247 --> 00:30:18,874 He's like a seventh grader. 498 00:30:18,998 --> 00:30:21,251 I just told you that I have a wife. 499 00:30:21,376 --> 00:30:22,616 I heard you. That really sucks. 500 00:30:22,711 --> 00:30:25,338 But you were supposed to be my wife, Piper, remember? 501 00:30:25,422 --> 00:30:28,592 I'm kind of freaking out that you're not gonna be there. 502 00:30:29,426 --> 00:30:30,761 I know. 503 00:30:30,886 --> 00:30:32,554 I'm sorry. 504 00:30:33,221 --> 00:30:36,850 We just got this crib pad that sets off an alarm if the baby stops breathing. 505 00:30:36,933 --> 00:30:38,476 Which could totally happen. 506 00:30:38,602 --> 00:30:39,770 I mean, that's a thing. 507 00:30:39,853 --> 00:30:42,063 And there's a skinny bitch in my pre-natal yoga, 508 00:30:42,188 --> 00:30:43,940 she's a stick who swallowed a grapefruit. 509 00:30:44,023 --> 00:30:46,359 The other day she asked me if I was having twins. 510 00:30:46,443 --> 00:30:48,445 Ugh, thank God. I'm starving. 511 00:30:48,528 --> 00:30:49,696 Skittles. 512 00:30:49,780 --> 00:30:54,158 Did you know that inmates are not allowed to touch money in this place? 513 00:30:54,284 --> 00:30:57,036 The guard just told me. Fascinating. 514 00:30:58,705 --> 00:31:01,249 So what about the Barney's order? Did you find a warehouse? 515 00:31:01,332 --> 00:31:03,960 Oh, I got a couple of sketchy bids. I haven't had time to go look. 516 00:31:04,085 --> 00:31:05,503 Well, that's why we hired Mariana. 517 00:31:05,629 --> 00:31:07,297 I fired her. 518 00:31:07,380 --> 00:31:08,965 She doesn't know how to make a Word document. 519 00:31:09,090 --> 00:31:10,550 And she doesn't shave her pits. 520 00:31:10,634 --> 00:31:12,803 Wait, but why didn't you ask me first? 521 00:31:12,886 --> 00:31:14,095 That's not fair. 522 00:31:15,639 --> 00:31:18,642 Oh, honey, it's not as if we can pick up a phone and call you. 523 00:31:18,725 --> 00:31:20,477 I know it's hard, 524 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,939 but the rest of us have to keep living our lives. 525 00:31:33,657 --> 00:31:34,908 How you doing, Red? 526 00:31:34,991 --> 00:31:36,493 I'm missing half my zucchini. 527 00:31:36,576 --> 00:31:39,579 These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not dildos. 528 00:31:40,413 --> 00:31:43,959 I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets. 529 00:31:44,041 --> 00:31:46,503 God knows what they're doing with those. 530 00:31:46,628 --> 00:31:49,130 Can't hang on to anything cock-shaped. 531 00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:54,678 Sorry. Too soon? 532 00:31:55,303 --> 00:31:56,387 A little. 533 00:31:56,513 --> 00:31:58,682 You, I don't understand you. 534 00:31:59,474 --> 00:32:01,142 I got three sons, and let me tell you, 535 00:32:01,225 --> 00:32:03,269 if they tried to do what you did, 536 00:32:03,353 --> 00:32:07,482 I'd chop off their hands before I'd let them get rid of their baby makers. 537 00:32:08,316 --> 00:32:10,527 I already made my baby. 538 00:32:10,652 --> 00:32:13,655 Listen, I need you to get something in. 539 00:32:14,238 --> 00:32:17,033 Talk to Gina. She takes my orders, you know how this goes. 540 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,537 It's something that's hard to get. Estrogen pills or patches. 541 00:32:20,662 --> 00:32:22,706 - I don't do drugs. - It's medication. 542 00:32:22,873 --> 00:32:26,292 I got rules. No drugs. Nothing like that comes through my kitchen. 543 00:32:26,376 --> 00:32:30,755 Besides, even if I wanted to help you, I don't have connections like that. 544 00:32:32,841 --> 00:32:35,468 Here, have a yam. 545 00:32:35,552 --> 00:32:37,971 My mamochka ate those during her menopause. 546 00:32:38,054 --> 00:32:41,558 And I'll get you some soy, but that's the best I can do. 547 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,520 What if I have my own connections? 548 00:32:45,645 --> 00:32:49,399 Do you not hear me, huh? It's not gonna happen. 549 00:32:50,525 --> 00:32:53,737 Listen, sweetheart, there's other channels. 550 00:32:56,948 --> 00:33:00,702 But I really don't think you wanna go down that road. 551 00:33:02,746 --> 00:33:05,289 You wanna go down that road? I say Jordans. 552 00:33:05,415 --> 00:33:07,751 - Those are cool. - Those are gay. 553 00:33:07,918 --> 00:33:08,919 I like the Lebrons. 554 00:33:09,044 --> 00:33:10,670 You want the highs or the lows? 555 00:33:10,795 --> 00:33:11,796 Both. 556 00:33:11,922 --> 00:33:12,964 No. Pick one, baby. 557 00:33:13,089 --> 00:33:16,217 If it were up to me, my man, I'd say the lows. 558 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:17,552 Those Dunkmans are tight. 559 00:33:17,635 --> 00:33:19,429 They're the hottest pair of kicks to drop this year. 560 00:33:19,512 --> 00:33:20,597 How much? 561 00:33:20,722 --> 00:33:22,098 $300. 562 00:33:23,266 --> 00:33:24,768 We'll take 'em, right? 563 00:33:34,318 --> 00:33:37,614 Stand up. Check 'em out. You're gonna love those shoes. 564 00:33:37,739 --> 00:33:39,074 Excuse me, do you have... 565 00:33:39,198 --> 00:33:40,951 Hey, Michael, what are you doing here? 566 00:33:43,703 --> 00:33:45,204 Oh, shit! 567 00:33:45,413 --> 00:33:46,456 Hi, Pat. 568 00:33:46,706 --> 00:33:48,207 Shit... Uh... 569 00:33:49,042 --> 00:33:50,293 Yeah. 570 00:33:50,460 --> 00:33:51,878 I, uh... 571 00:33:51,962 --> 00:33:53,797 Deborah's doing some shopping, so I just thought I'd... 572 00:33:53,922 --> 00:33:56,800 Did you get my letter? I was hoping to hear from you. 573 00:33:56,883 --> 00:33:58,927 Yeah, I was, uh... 574 00:34:00,011 --> 00:34:02,639 I'm sorry. I gotta go. 575 00:34:04,515 --> 00:34:06,309 Take care, Michael. 576 00:34:08,311 --> 00:34:09,687 Nice kicks. 577 00:34:12,816 --> 00:34:14,943 Sometimes it's hard for people. 578 00:34:15,026 --> 00:34:16,319 Michael. 579 00:34:16,987 --> 00:34:18,529 Michael! No! 580 00:34:18,696 --> 00:34:21,449 Sir. Ma'am. You need to pay for those. 581 00:34:24,368 --> 00:34:25,648 Attention, inmates, 582 00:34:25,662 --> 00:34:29,499 the pharmacy window will be closing at 1530 hours. 583 00:34:31,334 --> 00:34:33,837 Hey. You wanted to see me? 584 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,005 Yes, Chapman. 585 00:34:35,088 --> 00:34:37,757 Bravo dorms, assemble for visitation hall. 586 00:34:37,841 --> 00:34:41,177 We do not choose roommates around here. 587 00:34:41,302 --> 00:34:45,264 This type of hanky-panky is against prison regulations. 588 00:34:45,348 --> 00:34:47,684 I warned you about this when you first came in. 589 00:34:47,851 --> 00:34:50,728 I... I don't know what you're talking about. 590 00:34:53,857 --> 00:34:58,695 Warren just informed me that you'd like to be bunked together. 591 00:34:59,696 --> 00:35:01,114 Warren? Who is that? 592 00:35:04,492 --> 00:35:05,535 Crazy Eyes? 593 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:08,913 This is not gonna fly around here. Not on my watch. 594 00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:12,042 Lesbian request denied. 595 00:35:12,625 --> 00:35:14,711 Okay, wait! I had nothing to do with that! 596 00:35:14,836 --> 00:35:17,421 Believe me, the last thing I want is to be anywhere near her. 597 00:35:17,547 --> 00:35:19,382 I've been trying to shake her for days. 598 00:35:19,549 --> 00:35:21,051 This didn't come from you? 599 00:35:21,217 --> 00:35:23,386 No! Absolutely not. 600 00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:26,097 Please don't put me with her. Please. 601 00:35:26,222 --> 00:35:29,934 I would like to stay as far away from that as possible. 602 00:35:30,143 --> 00:35:32,520 I was hoping that that was the case. 603 00:35:34,064 --> 00:35:36,273 She is completely nuts. 604 00:35:36,399 --> 00:35:39,569 No, I know. I've had trouble with her before. 605 00:35:39,694 --> 00:35:42,655 She's what we call a "stud," 606 00:35:42,739 --> 00:35:45,241 which is very confusing for a nice girl like you, 607 00:35:45,408 --> 00:35:48,578 because, let's be honest, she looks like a man. 608 00:35:49,412 --> 00:35:52,082 If it were up to me, I'd take all the butch ones 609 00:35:52,165 --> 00:35:54,000 and I'd put them in a "little boy's wing," 610 00:35:54,084 --> 00:35:56,753 and I'd separate them from the general community. 611 00:35:57,128 --> 00:36:01,424 Ran that up the ladder a couple of times, got no traction at all. 612 00:36:03,093 --> 00:36:04,385 My advice? 613 00:36:06,429 --> 00:36:08,472 Let her down easy. 614 00:36:09,265 --> 00:36:13,644 She's volatile, that one. She was removed from the puppy program. 615 00:36:16,147 --> 00:36:20,151 Lesbians can be very dangerous. 616 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,362 It's the testosterone. 617 00:36:25,281 --> 00:36:29,202 They took my moisturizer, guys. I had to walk through the airport barefoot. 618 00:36:29,493 --> 00:36:32,872 I mean, if Bush fucking wins again, we're all moving to Berlin! 619 00:36:37,585 --> 00:36:40,671 Hey, you, Laura Ingalls Wilder. 620 00:36:41,756 --> 00:36:44,634 We're escaping America before the apocalypse. Wanna come? 621 00:36:45,176 --> 00:36:46,469 Sorry? 622 00:36:46,636 --> 00:36:48,138 What can I get for you? 623 00:36:48,512 --> 00:36:50,265 Oh, hi, I was wondering if you're hiring? 624 00:36:51,474 --> 00:36:52,725 No, I'm sorry. 625 00:36:52,809 --> 00:36:54,144 Well, can I leave this with you? 626 00:36:54,269 --> 00:36:57,855 Honestly, it's just gonna end up in a drawer somewhere, so... 627 00:36:58,940 --> 00:37:00,191 Okay. 628 00:37:00,566 --> 00:37:01,651 Well, 629 00:37:05,989 --> 00:37:07,490 can I have a margarita then? 630 00:37:08,241 --> 00:37:09,408 That I can do for you. 631 00:37:17,458 --> 00:37:20,336 It's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think? 632 00:37:22,839 --> 00:37:24,715 Let's see this. 633 00:37:25,716 --> 00:37:29,220 Steve's Greek Cuisine? Le Grand Fromage? 634 00:37:29,345 --> 00:37:30,805 Bullshit, bullshit. 635 00:37:30,888 --> 00:37:32,682 You need a lesson in fudging a resume. 636 00:37:32,765 --> 00:37:33,850 Do you work here? 637 00:37:33,975 --> 00:37:35,518 Are you fucking kidding me? 638 00:37:37,103 --> 00:37:38,980 Manager, Polly Harper. 639 00:37:40,273 --> 00:37:41,816 No one named Polly Harper gets put in charge. 640 00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:42,942 Who is that really? 641 00:37:43,026 --> 00:37:44,694 It's my friend. 642 00:37:46,529 --> 00:37:49,032 You've never waited a fucking table in your life, have you? 643 00:37:51,159 --> 00:37:52,368 No. 644 00:37:54,537 --> 00:37:56,873 So, Piper Chapman, 645 00:37:58,208 --> 00:38:03,213 "A Smith grad with excellent listening skills, passionate about making diners feel good." 646 00:38:03,338 --> 00:38:05,381 Mmm. That sounds kind of dirty. 647 00:38:05,464 --> 00:38:07,217 You can put that on my tab. 648 00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:10,303 "Safe, clean, and careful when handling food and drink." 649 00:38:11,595 --> 00:38:13,097 Oh, gosh. 650 00:38:13,223 --> 00:38:15,099 I like that in a woman. 651 00:38:17,434 --> 00:38:18,954 What else do I need to know about you? 652 00:38:20,897 --> 00:38:22,398 Who are you? 653 00:38:23,482 --> 00:38:25,068 My name is Alex. 654 00:38:27,362 --> 00:38:29,364 And what do you do, Alex? 655 00:38:30,406 --> 00:38:33,117 Besides make fun of strangers in bars? 656 00:38:33,243 --> 00:38:36,037 I work for an international drug cartel. 657 00:38:39,916 --> 00:38:42,543 Oh, come on. You telling me you don't get lonely out here 658 00:38:43,086 --> 00:38:45,046 in the middle of nowhere? 659 00:38:45,129 --> 00:38:48,883 No, I'm not into people. I'm more into beans. 660 00:38:48,966 --> 00:38:52,595 Did you see my long beans? They're going off. 661 00:38:52,678 --> 00:38:54,513 And my banjo. 662 00:38:54,597 --> 00:38:58,059 Those are my friends, my beans and my banjo. 663 00:38:58,268 --> 00:39:00,728 And I'm banging this underwater welder. 664 00:39:00,978 --> 00:39:02,146 Wow. 665 00:39:02,272 --> 00:39:03,940 You gotta have hobbies. 666 00:39:04,857 --> 00:39:05,900 What about you? 667 00:39:05,983 --> 00:39:08,444 What's happening with the writing? No gigs? 668 00:39:08,527 --> 00:39:12,823 Been a little distracted. Maybe you heard, my fianc�e's in prison. 669 00:39:13,324 --> 00:39:16,535 Hey, when you visit, do you get to, uh... 670 00:39:19,455 --> 00:39:21,749 No, they don't allow conjugals in federal. 671 00:39:22,292 --> 00:39:25,169 - It's a lot of me, myself and I. - Bummer. 672 00:39:25,461 --> 00:39:26,462 Oh. 673 00:39:26,796 --> 00:39:28,131 You gotta try edging, man. 674 00:39:28,298 --> 00:39:29,506 What is that? 675 00:39:29,757 --> 00:39:33,636 It's where you jerk off, okay? 676 00:39:33,761 --> 00:39:36,097 Right to the point of orgasm 677 00:39:37,932 --> 00:39:39,267 and then stop. 678 00:39:40,393 --> 00:39:41,685 And you do this because... 679 00:39:41,811 --> 00:39:45,315 Because your jizz is your power, man. It's spiritual, it keeps your Chi inside. 680 00:39:45,398 --> 00:39:47,317 Especially if you got writer's block. 681 00:39:47,442 --> 00:39:52,155 You gotta walk right up to that line, bro, and not cross it. 682 00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:53,739 And this is something you do? 683 00:39:53,864 --> 00:39:54,824 Yeah. Welder chick taught me. 684 00:39:54,949 --> 00:39:59,412 See, you gotta, um... You gotta grab right underneath your balls, 685 00:39:59,495 --> 00:40:01,705 like, right here, you really gotta get up right up in there. 686 00:40:01,831 --> 00:40:02,873 Okay, yeah. 687 00:40:02,999 --> 00:40:04,708 And it creates, like, a whole body thing. 688 00:40:04,834 --> 00:40:06,461 Kind of like a female orgasm. 689 00:40:06,543 --> 00:40:08,379 You know, most dudes, they don't know what women got, 690 00:40:08,504 --> 00:40:09,546 but trust me, bro, 691 00:40:09,797 --> 00:40:13,009 it is way, way better. 692 00:40:14,010 --> 00:40:15,719 A lot of creative people do it. 693 00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:19,849 In fact, they say that John Lennon wrote Imagine 694 00:40:19,974 --> 00:40:21,684 right at that sweet spot. 695 00:40:29,192 --> 00:40:30,734 Fifteen months. 696 00:40:31,694 --> 00:40:35,281 Whoa. It's a long time to wait. Even if it is for my sister. 697 00:40:35,365 --> 00:40:37,700 How about we don't talk about sex with your sister? 698 00:40:37,825 --> 00:40:39,202 Good point. 699 00:40:42,538 --> 00:40:43,706 Did you see this coming? 700 00:40:43,831 --> 00:40:46,000 With Piper? 701 00:40:46,083 --> 00:40:50,380 No, no, not jail, but something, yeah. 702 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,260 She wants to feel like she's different. 703 00:40:56,969 --> 00:40:59,763 Likes the whole "I'm risky" thing. 704 00:41:01,307 --> 00:41:03,184 My sister's a complicated cat. 705 00:41:04,894 --> 00:41:06,479 So I'm learning. 706 00:41:07,897 --> 00:41:10,066 Not like my parents ever saw it. 707 00:41:10,191 --> 00:41:12,609 Between "Perfect Piper" and "Doctor Danny," 708 00:41:12,735 --> 00:41:15,238 they met their quality parenting quota. 709 00:41:15,321 --> 00:41:19,200 But, like, I was free to smoke a bowl and fuck off for the rest of my life 710 00:41:19,283 --> 00:41:21,411 with nobody ever bothering me. 711 00:41:21,494 --> 00:41:25,081 Now, my mom's talking about coming up here to visit, 712 00:41:25,206 --> 00:41:27,124 putting me in the Christmas letter. 713 00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:29,752 Suddenly I'm "Creative Cal." 714 00:41:30,461 --> 00:41:31,837 It's fucked up. 715 00:41:36,008 --> 00:41:39,887 Piper going to jail might be, like, the worst thing that has ever happened to me. 716 00:41:49,439 --> 00:41:51,566 Oh. Sophia! 717 00:41:51,648 --> 00:41:53,609 I got you a present. 718 00:41:53,734 --> 00:41:56,028 It's powder foundation in medium dark. 719 00:41:56,153 --> 00:41:58,114 I had to guess. I hope it's all right. 720 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,367 Honey, it's perfect. That's real sweet of you. 721 00:42:01,451 --> 00:42:02,785 Thank you. 722 00:42:02,952 --> 00:42:04,495 You're welcome. 723 00:42:08,958 --> 00:42:10,667 I got commissary. 724 00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:12,336 Look whose ship finally came in! 725 00:42:12,962 --> 00:42:14,130 Here. 726 00:42:14,255 --> 00:42:16,466 This is payback for all the stuff you gave me. 727 00:42:17,550 --> 00:42:21,804 And, Nicky, here's your cup. 728 00:42:21,887 --> 00:42:22,972 Hmm. 729 00:42:23,389 --> 00:42:26,642 And, um, Nivea. That's interest. 730 00:42:26,767 --> 00:42:28,811 What else you got, kid? I'll take that face wash. 731 00:42:28,936 --> 00:42:30,980 Don't be a commissary ho, DeMarco. 732 00:42:31,063 --> 00:42:34,484 And these... It's like Christmas! 733 00:42:35,818 --> 00:42:37,945 Yo, P, heads up. You got a visitor. 734 00:42:39,738 --> 00:42:41,324 Hello, baby. 735 00:42:43,075 --> 00:42:44,368 Can I talk to you? 736 00:42:45,495 --> 00:42:47,538 Inmate Peterson, please return to the prison chapel. 737 00:42:52,168 --> 00:42:54,670 Listen, Suzanne. 738 00:42:55,671 --> 00:42:56,922 I, um... 739 00:42:57,714 --> 00:42:59,216 I know that you like me... 740 00:42:59,342 --> 00:43:01,802 I don't just like you, Piper. 741 00:43:01,885 --> 00:43:03,471 I got feelings. 742 00:43:04,430 --> 00:43:07,099 Love feelings. 743 00:43:07,808 --> 00:43:09,685 Yeah, I got that. Um... 744 00:43:11,562 --> 00:43:13,856 You know, maybe I was unclear, 745 00:43:13,981 --> 00:43:17,485 and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, 746 00:43:20,279 --> 00:43:25,159 but I cannot be your wife. 747 00:43:25,242 --> 00:43:28,704 I've already promised to be someone else's wife. Larry. 748 00:43:28,787 --> 00:43:31,207 Whom I love very much. 749 00:43:31,290 --> 00:43:34,335 And I'm just not interested in anybody else. 750 00:43:34,418 --> 00:43:36,962 This is nothing personal. 751 00:43:37,046 --> 00:43:39,215 But you and I? 752 00:43:40,883 --> 00:43:42,385 Not gonna happen. 753 00:43:46,556 --> 00:43:47,890 I feel you. 754 00:43:55,356 --> 00:43:57,066 Where is he? 755 00:43:57,149 --> 00:43:59,569 He won't come. I tried. 756 00:44:00,403 --> 00:44:02,738 They let him pitch Friday. 757 00:44:02,863 --> 00:44:05,866 This big game against Castle Hill. They won. 758 00:44:06,033 --> 00:44:07,868 That's great. 759 00:44:09,786 --> 00:44:11,330 You look like shit. What's wrong? 760 00:44:13,416 --> 00:44:14,917 They took me off my hormones. 761 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,419 What, why? 762 00:44:16,544 --> 00:44:17,865 They're saying it's liver damage. 763 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,673 It's bullshit. They just don't wanna be liable. 764 00:44:20,797 --> 00:44:23,008 Oh, I'm sorry, baby. 765 00:44:23,217 --> 00:44:24,385 I'm losing my shit, Crystal. 766 00:44:24,468 --> 00:44:29,181 I didn't wanna have to ask you, but I don't know what else to do. 767 00:44:33,686 --> 00:44:35,771 I need you to sneak 'em in. 768 00:44:39,942 --> 00:44:41,277 How? 769 00:44:42,903 --> 00:44:44,238 I don't know. 770 00:44:44,363 --> 00:44:46,115 You want me to shove 'em up my ass? 771 00:44:46,198 --> 00:44:47,950 Take 'em out in the bathroom? Then what? 772 00:44:48,033 --> 00:44:52,121 Put 'em in my mouth so I can kiss you? Have you lost your fucking mind? 773 00:44:52,288 --> 00:44:53,872 It's crazy, I know. 774 00:44:53,997 --> 00:44:55,958 You want me to get locked up, too? Oh, that's perfect. 775 00:44:56,041 --> 00:45:00,713 Yeah, Michael can go live with my mother, who won't speak to me anymore at all. 776 00:45:00,795 --> 00:45:02,465 But you? 777 00:45:02,548 --> 00:45:06,927 Well, you'll have your smooth skin and your lady curves, so it'll all be worth it. 778 00:45:07,136 --> 00:45:09,930 I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. 779 00:45:11,181 --> 00:45:15,394 I'm working two jobs, I'm trying to raise our son. 780 00:45:15,478 --> 00:45:17,079 You know they trying to seize the house? 781 00:45:17,146 --> 00:45:18,939 They can't do that. 782 00:45:19,022 --> 00:45:22,485 I never paid any of our bills with those stolen credit cards. 783 00:45:22,610 --> 00:45:25,154 I can't even show my face in church anymore. 784 00:45:25,237 --> 00:45:26,656 I'm sorry. 785 00:45:26,821 --> 00:45:30,159 How fucking selfish can you be? 786 00:45:30,326 --> 00:45:33,078 Crystal, if they take this away from me, 787 00:45:34,037 --> 00:45:36,206 this will all have been for nothing. 788 00:45:42,588 --> 00:45:44,881 I married a man named Marcus. 789 00:45:47,259 --> 00:45:49,720 I cry for him all the time. 790 00:45:51,681 --> 00:45:54,684 But I stayed and I supported you 791 00:45:54,809 --> 00:45:57,478 because I could see how much pain you were in. 792 00:45:58,853 --> 00:46:00,606 I know it was saving your life. 793 00:46:00,731 --> 00:46:02,149 It was. 794 00:46:02,274 --> 00:46:05,695 I figured better my kid had two moms than a dead dad, right? 795 00:46:05,820 --> 00:46:11,158 At least he'd be around, which is more than my father was. 796 00:46:13,076 --> 00:46:17,206 At least he'd be at his baseball games, even if it was in a dress. 797 00:46:20,334 --> 00:46:21,876 So I put up with you becoming a woman, 798 00:46:22,002 --> 00:46:24,755 but I never signed on for a life with a criminal. 799 00:46:26,674 --> 00:46:32,929 I'm gonna get my shit together. I promise. I'm gonna make it up to you. 800 00:46:33,055 --> 00:46:34,515 Oh, you wanna make it up to me? 801 00:46:34,598 --> 00:46:36,767 Do your time. 802 00:46:37,768 --> 00:46:41,480 Get the fuck out of here, so you can be a father to your son. 803 00:46:44,567 --> 00:46:46,068 Man up. 804 00:46:53,033 --> 00:46:54,243 What the fuck is this? 805 00:46:54,326 --> 00:46:56,245 We're reassigning you. Get your things. 806 00:46:56,370 --> 00:46:59,081 You fucking kidding me? 807 00:47:00,207 --> 00:47:01,458 You had me moved? 808 00:47:04,127 --> 00:47:05,588 Who's running this place? 809 00:47:05,671 --> 00:47:06,839 Not you. 810 00:47:06,921 --> 00:47:08,965 Shut your mouth and get your things. 811 00:47:10,551 --> 00:47:12,428 Watch yourself, little girl. 812 00:47:12,553 --> 00:47:14,513 This is not America, 813 00:47:15,765 --> 00:47:17,516 this is The Litch, 814 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,102 and I've been here a long while. 815 00:47:57,347 --> 00:48:01,811 Inmate Stuart, report to inmate work station two. 816 00:48:01,894 --> 00:48:03,813 Officer Roberts, guard detail, central library. 817 00:48:04,979 --> 00:48:09,485 I'm in here at 5:00 just about every day. You don't like it, avoid it. 818 00:48:13,906 --> 00:48:15,365 You named me. 819 00:48:15,491 --> 00:48:18,285 - What? - You didn't have to take me down with you. 820 00:48:18,368 --> 00:48:19,662 Is that what all this is about? 821 00:48:19,787 --> 00:48:21,831 You think I turned you in? 822 00:48:21,956 --> 00:48:24,416 You haven't seen me in five years, 823 00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,336 you had no idea what was going on with me. 824 00:48:27,419 --> 00:48:29,463 I am a different person. I was building a life... 825 00:48:29,546 --> 00:48:32,800 Oh, well, hurray for you. It wasn't me, Piper. 826 00:48:32,883 --> 00:48:34,050 Bullshit! 827 00:48:34,176 --> 00:48:35,719 You never ever forgave me for leaving. 828 00:48:35,845 --> 00:48:37,045 Thirteen people were indicted. 829 00:48:37,053 --> 00:48:39,097 You met all of them. We traveled together. 830 00:48:39,181 --> 00:48:40,223 I know it was you. 831 00:48:40,349 --> 00:48:41,517 No, it wasn't! 832 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,644 And fuck you for thinking it was! 833 00:48:43,727 --> 00:48:44,927 Right, what did they give you? 834 00:48:45,019 --> 00:48:47,539 Time off for every innocent person that you threw under the bus? 835 00:48:47,648 --> 00:48:50,526 Innocent? That is fucking hilarious! 836 00:48:51,401 --> 00:48:54,028 You carried that bag. No one had a gun to your head. 837 00:48:54,112 --> 00:48:58,283 Your fianc� might buy this bullshit, but I know you. 838 00:48:59,702 --> 00:49:01,578 I know you. 839 00:49:02,830 --> 00:49:05,582 And there were no complaints when I took you all over the world, 840 00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:07,501 but the second shit got real... 841 00:49:07,584 --> 00:49:08,711 You put me in danger. 842 00:49:08,794 --> 00:49:10,713 You loved it. 843 00:49:13,215 --> 00:49:16,844 You were just this boring little girl from Connecticut, 844 00:49:16,927 --> 00:49:19,053 who wanted to feel special and bad. 845 00:49:19,179 --> 00:49:22,516 - Don't turn this around on me. - I didn't name you. 846 00:49:22,599 --> 00:49:26,562 And, yeah, maybe I never forgave you for leaving, 847 00:49:26,687 --> 00:49:29,899 because you broke my fucking heart. 848 00:49:30,024 --> 00:49:33,027 And maybe I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life, 849 00:49:33,109 --> 00:49:35,237 but I've never lied to you. 850 00:49:36,613 --> 00:49:37,740 Ever. 851 00:49:50,252 --> 00:49:51,461 I'm stuck. 852 00:49:51,587 --> 00:49:55,674 I think my necklace is caught on my shirt or in my hair or maybe both. 853 00:49:57,885 --> 00:49:59,135 So you want me to... 854 00:49:59,261 --> 00:50:01,095 Yeah. Yeah. 855 00:50:02,347 --> 00:50:03,766 Oh, man. 856 00:50:03,891 --> 00:50:05,976 Don't look at my belly. 857 00:50:06,268 --> 00:50:07,603 There. 858 00:50:09,229 --> 00:50:10,647 You're free. 859 00:50:11,314 --> 00:50:12,733 Yeah, right. 860 00:50:25,579 --> 00:50:27,497 - Hello? - Hey, baby, it's me. 861 00:50:27,706 --> 00:50:31,209 Hey! How was the visit with your mom? 862 00:50:31,418 --> 00:50:33,712 Listen, Larry, I need you to do something for me, 863 00:50:33,796 --> 00:50:34,797 and I don't wanna talk about it. 864 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,925 I need you to find out if Alex Vause named me at her trial. 865 00:50:38,132 --> 00:50:42,178 But wait, my dad said the testimony was sealed. 866 00:50:42,304 --> 00:50:43,764 Why the sudden interest? 867 00:50:43,847 --> 00:50:48,018 I don't know. It's just eating at me. I got a lot of time on my hands. 868 00:50:48,142 --> 00:50:51,563 Please, Larry. There's got to be a way. Will you talk to him? 869 00:50:51,647 --> 00:50:55,442 Her name is Alex Vause. V-A-U-S-E. 870 00:50:56,318 --> 00:50:58,152 This is really important to me. 871 00:50:58,236 --> 00:50:59,863 Yeah, okay. But, um... 872 00:51:00,030 --> 00:51:01,364 And I don't wanna talk about it. 873 00:51:04,118 --> 00:51:06,745 And my mother told me that my eggs are getting old. 874 00:51:11,165 --> 00:51:14,086 Chapman! Get your things together. You're moving down to B dorm. 875 00:51:14,168 --> 00:51:15,879 Cube 18! 876 00:51:16,005 --> 00:51:17,339 That's the ghetto. 877 00:51:18,298 --> 00:51:19,424 What? 878 00:51:20,634 --> 00:51:22,136 They got you in the ghetto. 879 00:51:22,218 --> 00:51:25,014 Good luck, Chapman. You're gonna need it. 880 00:52:11,685 --> 00:52:14,646 That's your bed. These are your hooks. 881 00:52:15,564 --> 00:52:19,902 I am nobody's cleaning lady and I make honor cube every week, 882 00:52:19,985 --> 00:52:22,236 so you do your part and then some. 883 00:52:22,362 --> 00:52:24,948 My floor's my pride, 884 00:52:25,074 --> 00:52:28,618 so no shoes, leave them off before you step in. 885 00:52:28,827 --> 00:52:31,830 And I see that nonsense go down in the cafeteria. 886 00:52:31,914 --> 00:52:33,623 I don't care if you're gay or what, 887 00:52:33,749 --> 00:52:37,169 but you bring any drama in here and we'll have trouble. 888 00:52:37,251 --> 00:52:40,589 I don't tolerate foolishness in my bunk. Understand? 889 00:52:50,557 --> 00:52:54,186 The following inmates have prescriptions waiting in the infirmary... 890 00:53:07,407 --> 00:53:09,159 - You have the right to remain silent. - I don't understand! 891 00:53:09,283 --> 00:53:11,036 - What's happening? - Anything you say or do 892 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:12,495 can and will be held against you in a court of law. 893 00:53:12,621 --> 00:53:14,123 - You have the right to an attorney. - What did you do? 894 00:53:14,248 --> 00:53:16,768 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. 895 00:53:16,792 --> 00:53:19,293 Do you understand these rights as I just read 'em to you? 896 00:53:21,630 --> 00:53:22,798 Yes. 897 00:53:22,965 --> 00:53:25,675 With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me? 898 00:53:31,598 --> 00:53:32,808 No. 899 00:53:37,229 --> 00:53:41,357 Officer Williams, inmate services, station 2365. 900 00:53:41,483 --> 00:53:43,152 Hey, Burset! 901 00:53:53,578 --> 00:53:56,456 I heard you've been looking for something. 902 00:53:57,373 --> 00:53:59,501 Change your mind about that Egg McMuffin? 903 00:54:01,628 --> 00:54:03,839 You've got the wrong girl. 904 00:55:04,801 --> 00:55:15,388 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 67586

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