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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,755
Okay, Jessie!
Give me a pop fly!
2
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,468
I got it...
I got it...
3
00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:10,550
(GROANS)
4
00:00:11,552 --> 00:00:13,632
She got it.
5
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:17,104
Hey, nice grab.
Thanks. I learned from
watching Derek Jeter.
6
00:00:17,098 --> 00:00:19,478
Are you a Yankees fan?
Of course.
7
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,440
There are only
two types of people.
8
00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:25,862
Those who like the Yankees...
And those who have made
extremely poor life choices.
9
00:00:25,856 --> 00:00:28,406
You're funny,
you're good at sports,
and you're cute.
10
00:00:28,409 --> 00:00:30,489
I'm Luke.
I'm all those things, too.
11
00:00:32,243 --> 00:00:34,423
I'm Mackenzie.
Here's your ball back.
12
00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:37,455
I wrote my number on it...
In case you want to
call me some time.
13
00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:39,078
Maybe I'll
call you soon.
14
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,620
Maybe I'll answer.
15
00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:45,671
And maybe when you answer
I'll talk to you.
16
00:00:45,666 --> 00:00:47,666
That'd be weird
if you didn't.
17
00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:51,630
Till then.
Okay.
18
00:00:51,632 --> 00:00:54,142
Hiya, Luke!
(SHRIEKS)
19
00:00:54,135 --> 00:00:55,475
Creepy Connie!
20
00:00:55,476 --> 00:00:57,476
Luke, what's the... (YELPS)
Creepy Connie!
21
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:04,530
Funny seeing you again...
I mean, in real life,
and not just my nightmares.
22
00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:05,985
Luke, I really need
to talk to you.
23
00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:07,566
Connie, I really need
to run away from you.
24
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:12,820
You understand if I...
I get it.
25
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:16,003
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
26
00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:19,326
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
27
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:23,290
♪ It feels like a party
every day
28
00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:26,884
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
29
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:30,467
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
30
00:01:30,471 --> 00:01:33,511
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
31
00:01:33,514 --> 00:01:37,184
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
32
00:01:37,178 --> 00:01:40,808
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
33
00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:44,821
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
34
00:01:44,815 --> 00:01:48,565
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
35
00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,439
♪ Hey Jessie
36
00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:53,862
♪ Hey Jessie
37
00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:58,996
♪ It feels like a party
every day
38
00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:02,039
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
39
00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:11,378
I can't wait to see the
movie in the park tonight.
Me too.
40
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:14,472
I heard AstroKlutz is like
the funniest movie ever.
41
00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:16,635
Actually, Emma,
I need you to work.
42
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,637
We always get a big crowd
after these outdoor movies
in Central Park.
43
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,720
Oh, that's okay,
I really like working here.
44
00:02:22,723 --> 00:02:24,733
This place is like
my tenth home.
45
00:02:24,725 --> 00:02:27,475
They have nine others.
46
00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:29,068
I'm cool
working the shack alone.
47
00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:31,399
I've come a long way
since you asked me
to marry the ketchups,
48
00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:32,822
and I hired
a wedding planner.
49
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,326
I can't believe Creepy Connie
is back from boarding school.
50
00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:41,619
I am sure she wishes to
rekindle our romance.
51
00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:44,962
Poor thing is probably still
reeling from our breakup.
52
00:02:46,287 --> 00:02:47,787
Okay, just stay focused.
53
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:50,548
You never know when Creepy
Connie is going to strike.
54
00:02:50,551 --> 00:02:51,711
(KNIFE FLICKS)
Hi, guys!
55
00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:53,882
(SCREAMING)
56
00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:56,514
Guess who made
Friendship Fruit Crumble?
57
00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:57,507
(YELLING)
Die!
58
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,510
Guys, Creepy Connie
made us a creepy crumble!
59
00:03:02,393 --> 00:03:04,863
Guys! I'm not
creepy anymore!
60
00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:08,145
Luke, I have
extinguished the torch
I once carried for you.
61
00:03:08,148 --> 00:03:11,858
Uh, it was
less of a torch
and more of a bonfire.
62
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,902
Do you still
carry my torch, Connie?
63
00:03:14,905 --> 00:03:16,735
I'm sorry, you are?
64
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:22,029
You must be joking.
We dated for two months.
65
00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:25,882
Remember when we held hands
for 32 and a half seconds
on Valentine's Day?
66
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:28,536
Still not ringing a bell.
67
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:31,089
Well, "creepy"
just turned into "awkward."
68
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,843
Ravi, why don't you
go upstairs?
69
00:03:34,835 --> 00:03:37,385
So that I can
find some proof
that Connie and I dated?
70
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:40,098
(LAUGHS)
No, no, 'cause this is
getting hard to watch.
71
00:03:42,102 --> 00:03:45,442
Luke, I came here
to warn you.
Mackenzie's after you!
72
00:03:45,436 --> 00:03:48,646
Mackenzie?
You mean the cool girl
I met in the park?
73
00:03:48,649 --> 00:03:51,689
Mackenzie's not cool.
She's my roommate
at boarding school.
74
00:03:51,692 --> 00:03:54,782
She's a complete weirdo who is
totally obsessed with you.
75
00:03:54,775 --> 00:03:57,405
Takes one to know one.
76
00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:59,858
Well, if you think
I was bad when I was
crushing on Luke,
77
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,860
it's nothing compared
to Mackenzie.
78
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:05,002
At school, all the girls
call her Mad Mac.
79
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,415
Mackenzie's not mad!
80
00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:09,787
And we just met today.
How could she be
obsessed with me?
81
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,500
Well, I might have
talked about you
for 10 months straight...
82
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,844
Then there was
the shrine...
83
00:04:15,836 --> 00:04:17,966
And the failed cloning
experiment.
84
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:21,588
But the point is,
Mad Mac is after you!
85
00:04:21,592 --> 00:04:23,642
Okay, Connie,
clearly you're making this up
86
00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,564
just to keep Luke
from dating another girl.
87
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,936
Well, it won't work.
88
00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:28,557
I'm calling Mackenzie
to hang out tonight,
89
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:29,889
and there's nothing
you can do about it.
90
00:04:30,891 --> 00:04:32,441
Fine, Luke.
It's your funeral.
91
00:04:36,397 --> 00:04:38,737
No! What if
Connie poisoned it?
92
00:04:38,739 --> 00:04:40,989
You're right.
We should serve it
to Bertram first.
93
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:42,201
Yeah.
Yeah.
94
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:50,537
Emma! You've gotta take
a five minute break to watch
the end of this movie.
95
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,411
I don't know...
Come on!
96
00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,594
Okay, I'm in.
97
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,506
I've only had
two customers since
the movie started anyway,
98
00:04:58,509 --> 00:05:00,469
and one of them just
wanted to use our bathroom.
99
00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:03,471
You don't
have a bathroom.
I know.
100
00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:05,104
Don't walk behind
the building.
101
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:14,361
I'm really glad you invited
me over, Luke,
but you seem kinda edgy.
102
00:05:15,105 --> 00:05:17,485
Sorry.
103
00:05:17,488 --> 00:05:21,358
There's this girl who has
a creepy obsession with me,
and she keeps breaking in.
104
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,032
Note to self,
get a lock for the dumbwaiter.
105
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,865
Oh, you must mean Connie.
She's my roommate
at boarding school.
106
00:05:28,869 --> 00:05:32,579
Wait, so you do know her?
I thought she made that up
to get between you and me.
107
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,263
Oh, don't be silly.
Connie wouldn't come
between us.
108
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:38,505
She's totally over you.
She even took down her
shrine to you last month.
109
00:05:38,509 --> 00:05:40,589
Oh.
But don't worry...
110
00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,091
I dug it out of the trash.
111
00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:46,425
Oh.
112
00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:51,558
I, uh... I wasn't worried...
113
00:05:51,562 --> 00:05:53,472
But I'm starting
to get there now.
114
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,475
I made this for you.
Try it on.
115
00:05:58,479 --> 00:06:01,319
How nice of you.
Are these pearls?
116
00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:03,571
No, they're my baby teeth.
117
00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:04,954
(SHRIEKS)
118
00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:09,116
Aw, you don't like that one?
119
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,329
I guess I'll have to
make you another.
120
00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:17,264
Connie was telling
the truth!
You really are mad!
121
00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:20,259
Mad about you!
122
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,501
We were
meant to be together.
123
00:06:23,504 --> 00:06:25,564
I will never
leave your side.
124
00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:27,386
The only question is...
125
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,467
Which wrist do you want
the handcuff on?
126
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,310
Right or left?
127
00:06:33,854 --> 00:06:36,284
Excellent question...
128
00:06:36,276 --> 00:06:38,646
Let me think about...
(YELLING) Help!
129
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,359
CONNIE: I'll save you, Luke!
130
00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:43,902
Connie?
Mac!
131
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,294
(BOTH YELLING AND GRUNTING)
132
00:06:47,488 --> 00:06:49,328
(SCREAMING)
133
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:54,291
(HANDCUFFS CLICKING)
134
00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:58,504
I've been wanting to do that
ever since you snagged
the top bunk in our dorm room.
135
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,420
Connie!
I knew you were
still after Luke!
136
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,552
A creepy leopard
doesn't change
its creepy spots!
137
00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:08,466
No, you're wrong!
Connie's the one
who saved me!
138
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,139
Mackenzie really is Mad Mac!
139
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:13,140
Is it mad to want
to handcuff myself
to the love of my life
140
00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:14,773
so we never spend
a moment apart?
141
00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:16,435
Yes!
Of course!
142
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,556
I see where you're
coming from, but yeah.
143
00:07:19,359 --> 00:07:21,899
Nothing can keep us apart!
144
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,062
Connie, my bag, please.
145
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,905
By the way,
I really love
your sweater.
146
00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:29,118
I'll be back!
147
00:07:32,573 --> 00:07:36,503
Believe it or not,
this isn't the first time I've
had to open a door this way.
148
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:37,417
Oh, we believe it.
149
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,670
What do they put
in the water
at your boarding school?
150
00:07:47,798 --> 00:07:49,508
(LAUGHING)
151
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,510
That movie was hilarious.
An astronaut
buddy-cop movie.
152
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,983
Who says Hollywood
is out of fresh ideas?
153
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,767
Oh, no, look!
154
00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:02,400
I can't believe
I left this place alone
for five minutes
155
00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:04,362
and all the food
got stolen.
156
00:08:04,364 --> 00:08:06,534
I know, crazy.
157
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,567
If you can't trust New Yorkers
at night in Central Park,
158
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:10,910
who can you trust?
159
00:08:15,415 --> 00:08:18,035
Connie, thank you
for coming to my rescue.
160
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:20,538
Yeah, I'm almost glad
you broke into
the penthouse...
161
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,881
Again.
162
00:08:21,882 --> 00:08:24,842
How do you
get in here so easily?
163
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:27,425
Well, I could tell you,
but then I'd have to end you.
164
00:08:29,089 --> 00:08:30,509
Sorry if that
came off as creepy.
165
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,800
You know,
sometimes I just
can't help myself.
166
00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:34,693
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
167
00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:37,345
Ugh. Mad Mac
tagged me
in a video post.
168
00:08:37,938 --> 00:08:39,478
Hi, Luke.
169
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:42,399
So sad that
Connie interrupted
our date earlier.
170
00:08:42,402 --> 00:08:44,912
Can't wait to finish
what we started.
171
00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:46,645
Soon you'll be mine...
172
00:08:46,647 --> 00:08:50,947
Forever!
(CACKLES)
173
00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:55,211
On top of everything else,
she's one of those people
with a really annoying laugh.
174
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,536
Wait, are those my shoes?
175
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,289
And my skateboard?
176
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,801
And that's my half-eaten
calzone from last week!
All those things are...
177
00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:07,465
Under my bed!
178
00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:11,467
Do you know what this means?
The video is coming
from inside the house!
179
00:09:12,432 --> 00:09:13,512
Is that my diary?
180
00:09:15,385 --> 00:09:17,935
Uh, not everything
is about you, Jessie!
181
00:09:18,979 --> 00:09:21,479
Mad Mac is upstairs!
182
00:09:21,481 --> 00:09:22,521
I'll get her, Luke!
183
00:09:23,684 --> 00:09:25,824
Dibs on the calzone!
Dibs on my diary!
184
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,358
No sign of Mad Mac.
(SNIFFING)
185
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,490
But I can still smell
her evil stench.
186
00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:35,042
Oh, I think that's just
my dirty gym clothes.
187
00:09:35,035 --> 00:09:36,455
(SNIFFS)
(GAGS)
188
00:09:37,658 --> 00:09:39,408
Guys, look!
The window's open.
189
00:09:41,912 --> 00:09:43,412
She couldn't have
gone out the window,
190
00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:46,473
we're, like, 30 stories up!
Unless...
191
00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:49,798
Mad Mac is Batman.
192
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:52,671
What did you
ever see in him?
193
00:09:54,134 --> 00:09:55,144
(DOOR SLAMS)
194
00:09:55,806 --> 00:09:56,806
(GASPS)
195
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,598
(READING)
196
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,653
Connie, please,
protect me forever!
197
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,396
I'm here for you, Luke.
Jessie, I'll keep
an eye on him.
198
00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:10,528
You clear the penthouse,
then go down to the lobby
199
00:10:10,530 --> 00:10:12,860
and do a perimeter search
of the building.
200
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:15,163
Here... Take this.
201
00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:16,695
Oh, walkie-talkies! Fun!
202
00:10:18,538 --> 00:10:20,118
Roger, roger.
Copy that, good buddy.
203
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,330
Breaker, breaker.
Got your ears on?
204
00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,871
Ten-four.
What's your handle?
205
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,923
Focus!
I'm being hunted here!
206
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:27,546
So, Connie,
207
00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:32,459
I am going to show you
this scrapbook I kept
of our time together,
208
00:10:32,462 --> 00:10:34,212
and prove we dated.
209
00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:37,564
Look, if there's anyone
who knows about delusional
relationships it's me,
210
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:39,557
but we never happened, guy.
211
00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:44,771
Oh, we happened!
Look!
212
00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:48,265
A ticket stub from that
Mumford & Sons concert
I took you to.
213
00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:50,188
RAVI: A doodle you did
on a napkin.
214
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:52,940
A lock of your hair...
I gave you
a lock of my hair?
215
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,953
It is not important
how I got it...
216
00:10:57,577 --> 00:11:00,577
Can you take him with you?
He's starting to
creep me out.
217
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:02,490
He's starting to
creep you out?
218
00:11:02,492 --> 00:11:04,202
You dressed
as Luke for Halloween...
219
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:05,504
And stayed that way
till Christmas.
220
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,460
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
221
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:13,291
This is terrible!
222
00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:15,473
Boomer trusted me,
and now all we have
to feed this starving mob
223
00:11:15,465 --> 00:11:17,175
are ketchup packets
and lettuce!
224
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:22,967
And Bertram!
We can slather him in ketchup,
to buy ourselves some time!
225
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:27,023
Remind me never
to crash-land
in the Andes with you.
226
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:29,147
(GASPS) I know how we can
still make money!
227
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:32,109
Let's do what they do
at those fancy restaurants
Mom and Dad take us to,
228
00:11:32,112 --> 00:11:34,402
where they serve
small portions of weird food.
229
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:38,124
I hate those places.
Their menus don't even
have mazes on them!
230
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:43,580
Excuse me, ma'am,
can I interest you
in a petite leafwich?
231
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,633
It's the latest
culinary craze.
232
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:49,535
Fresh lettuce in a lettuce bun
finished with a dollop of
our house made tomato confit.
233
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:56,012
We don't have
tomato confit!
But we have ketchup.
234
00:11:56,006 --> 00:12:00,216
Hey, Emma, if it helps,
I found a potato chip
under the counter.
235
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,470
No, you found...
236
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,612
Forty pommes chipettes.
237
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:09,145
Bon appetit!
That's French
for $11, please!
238
00:12:13,353 --> 00:12:15,323
Connie, no sign
of Mad Mac down here.
239
00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:17,235
We're on our way back up.
Over.
240
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,447
(WALKIE-TALKIE SCREECHING)
241
00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:19,528
Connie?
242
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:21,279
(LOUD THUD)
243
00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:23,241
Well, that was ominous.
244
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,753
Call Tony and see
what is going on.
245
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,625
What...
(GASPS)
246
00:12:27,627 --> 00:12:29,367
Oh, no,
my battery's gone!
247
00:12:29,369 --> 00:12:32,289
Mad Mac must have done this.
She's gonna make her move.
248
00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:34,842
We have to get back up
to the penthouse
and save Luke!
249
00:12:35,635 --> 00:12:37,425
Mine is gone, too!
250
00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:39,927
No wonder I have not
received any calls.
251
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,340
Yeah... That's why.
252
00:12:44,224 --> 00:12:45,394
Connie!
253
00:12:46,346 --> 00:12:47,936
Where are you?
254
00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:50,348
CONNIE: Luke! Help!
Mac's got me!
255
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:54,603
Connie?
256
00:12:54,604 --> 00:12:56,164
Hiya, Lukie-Pookie!
257
00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:58,156
(DOOR SLAMS)
258
00:12:58,158 --> 00:13:00,898
Welcome to our wedding!
259
00:13:00,901 --> 00:13:02,491
(SCREAMING)
260
00:13:03,703 --> 00:13:05,173
I understand.
261
00:13:05,165 --> 00:13:07,535
I'm too am disappointed
that some of your
mannequin family
262
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,497
didn't fly in
for our special day.
263
00:13:17,377 --> 00:13:20,337
Connie, you said
you were over me.
264
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,090
Nothing out here says
"over me!"
265
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,983
Don't you shout at me
in front of the relatives.
266
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:29,387
Hey, Luke!
(GASPS)
Mad Mac!
267
00:13:29,389 --> 00:13:31,599
Connie is trying to
get me all to herself.
268
00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:33,311
Maybe you two
should fight over me.
269
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,493
Leaving me time to escape,
after I watch for a second.
270
00:13:38,198 --> 00:13:41,028
Get a clue.
This was all a set-up.
271
00:13:41,031 --> 00:13:42,991
Connie was never my roommate.
272
00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:46,413
And, quite frankly,
you're not my type.
273
00:13:46,406 --> 00:13:50,906
Wait, so you were just
pretending to like me
the whole time?
274
00:13:50,911 --> 00:13:53,251
I don't get it.
You see the freckles, right?
275
00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:57,344
Luke, Mac is an actress
that I hired
276
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,547
to scare you right into
my waiting, loving arms.
277
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:03,512
I also sing.
278
00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:08,925
Mostly sweet-sixteens.
The occasional quinceanera.
279
00:14:08,929 --> 00:14:12,849
Well, time to settle up.
My day rate is $550
280
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,902
and I was out of pocket
for the handcuffs...
281
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,275
So, let's call it
an even $600.
282
00:14:17,277 --> 00:14:20,317
$650 and I won't
tell anyone where you got
those baby teeth.
283
00:14:22,282 --> 00:14:25,332
How about I just
tie you up instead?
284
00:14:25,325 --> 00:14:27,115
Never mind, $600 is good.
285
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,659
The fact is, Connie and I
actually ended our romance
on good terms.
286
00:14:34,454 --> 00:14:37,714
And now she claims
she does not even remember me?
287
00:14:37,707 --> 00:14:41,587
Well, forget that noise!
I want my Mumford & Sons
concert T back!
288
00:14:43,463 --> 00:14:46,563
Ravi, get over it!
Connie clearly has.
289
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:49,466
Okay, great!
Now pull yourself up!
290
00:14:49,469 --> 00:14:52,929
Apparently you are not
familiar with my lack
of upper body strength.
291
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,276
Now push me up.
292
00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:01,228
Apparently you are not
familiar with my lack of
lower body strength either.
293
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,487
Please let me go!
I promise I won't
tell anyone.
294
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:11,740
CONNIE: You're not
going anywhere.
295
00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:14,411
You need to be
a witness at our wedding.
296
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,464
That's not fair!
If your groom doesn't have
to stay, then why do I?
297
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,538
Ooh, I like a guy
who plays hard to get.
298
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:23,461
(STRUGGLING)
299
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:26,553
Man, I really should've gone
to the bathroom before
I came over here.
300
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,510
Whoa!
301
00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:35,063
What are you doing,
Schmoopy?
302
00:15:36,266 --> 00:15:37,976
Wishing I had a parachute.
303
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,020
(YELLING)
304
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,334
(READING)
305
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,368
She's creepy
and a general contractor?
306
00:15:56,496 --> 00:15:58,746
For our kids,
I'm thinking Hermione
for a girl,
307
00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:01,078
and Lukie-Pookie, Jr.
for a boy.
308
00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:02,791
(SCREAMING)
309
00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:08,345
We did it!
Celebratory confit?
310
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,512
ALL: Mmm!
311
00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:14,853
Smooth.
312
00:16:17,097 --> 00:16:19,097
Emma?
313
00:16:19,099 --> 00:16:22,229
Why does it look like
my shack went 30 rounds
with a tornado?
314
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:26,492
I promise I can explain.
It was... It was...
315
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:30,316
Uh, trolls!
Trolls did it!
316
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,820
You know, they're not as
cute and innocent as they
look on the end of a pencil.
317
00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:37,424
Thanks, Zuri...
But the truth is,
318
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:40,957
I left the shack unattended
for just five minutes
to watch a movie,
319
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,830
and it got robbed.
320
00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:45,892
In Emma's defense,
it was a hilarious
last five minutes.
321
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:47,755
(CHUCKLING)
322
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:51,007
Although not
so hilarious now.
323
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:55,060
Boomer, I am really sorry.
I know I made a huge mistake.
324
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,395
But I tried to fix it...
No!
325
00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:59,557
The mistake was mine
for trusting you.
326
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,020
You're fired.
327
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,401
But... But I really
love this job.
328
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,195
Can't you just give me
another chance?
Nope.
329
00:17:08,198 --> 00:17:10,698
Life is like boxing,
you only get one chance.
330
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,151
But what about re-matches?
331
00:17:14,154 --> 00:17:17,464
Okay, so it's
nothing like boxing.
Just go.
332
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,541
FYI, you just wiped away
a side order
of pommes chipettes.
333
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,304
Kiss that four bucks
good-bye.
334
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:39,267
Lukie-Pookie?
335
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:44,520
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
336
00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:49,454
Surely you wouldn't be
stupid enough to hide in...
The closet!
337
00:17:52,492 --> 00:17:54,452
Luke,
338
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,746
where are you?
339
00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:02,618
We need to discuss whether
we're gonna send our kids
to public or private school.
340
00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:12,511
(CLATTERING)
(GASPS)
341
00:18:12,512 --> 00:18:13,672
(LASER FIRING NOISES)
342
00:18:14,474 --> 00:18:15,484
Shh!
343
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,557
(PANTING)
344
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,770
(DOOR RATTLING)
345
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:23,431
(SCREAMING)
Ow!
346
00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:27,194
Jessie, where have you been?
347
00:18:27,187 --> 00:18:30,647
Oh, just climbing up an
elevator shaft to save you
from that psycho Mad Mac.
348
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:33,110
You know,
typical boring Friday night.
349
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,622
It's not Mac, it's her!
350
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,695
Hiya, Jessie!
351
00:18:37,697 --> 00:18:41,827
I know it's short notice,
but would you be a bridesmaid
at our wedding?
352
00:18:41,831 --> 00:18:43,581
I knew Creepy Connie
was still creepy!
353
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,423
My first clue
should have been...
354
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:47,045
Every single thing
she's ever done.
355
00:18:52,212 --> 00:18:54,672
Especially this!
356
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,598
Huh.
357
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:02,099
I wonder if this ever
happened to Nanny McPhee.
358
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,730
Mad Mac?
What is going on?
359
00:19:12,732 --> 00:19:15,952
Just know,
I'm an innocent bystander
in all of this.
360
00:19:15,945 --> 00:19:19,155
And by that, I mean
I'm an actress Connie hired
to dupe you all.
361
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,039
Wait, so you mean...
362
00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:26,211
There was an acting gig
in my own home
and I still couldn't book it?
363
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,496
Ugh, this is definitely
a low point in my career.
364
00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:36,560
Ravi?
Hello! I got
the elevator working.
365
00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:40,466
And you didn't
go get help?
I wanted to save the day.
366
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,300
And how'd that
work out for you?
367
00:19:42,302 --> 00:19:44,892
Well, Connie
overpowered me and...
368
00:19:44,894 --> 00:19:48,114
Oh, that was
a rhetorical question.
369
00:19:48,107 --> 00:19:52,437
Okay, I will get us
all out of this.
Everyone is going to be fine.
370
00:19:53,903 --> 00:19:55,533
(WEDDING MARCH
PLAYING OMINOUSLY)
371
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:01,408
♪ Here comes the groom...
Oh, no.
372
00:20:01,411 --> 00:20:04,531
♪ I caught him in his room
373
00:20:04,534 --> 00:20:09,424
♪ He is a cutie
His name is Lukie-Pookie ♪
374
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,670
Correction.
Luke's a goner.
375
00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:18,343
This is a nightmare.
I didn't even get
a bachelor party.
376
00:20:18,338 --> 00:20:21,098
Connie, this has to stop.
You've gone too far.
377
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:26,060
Another peep from you,
and you'll find out how far
my fist can go into your face.
378
00:20:26,055 --> 00:20:28,185
I'm sure you two
will be very happy together.
379
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,438
(CLEARS THROAT)
380
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,480
I am Reverend Chucky.
381
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:39,743
We are gathered here today
to join this man and this
woman in holy matrimony.
382
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:46,329
You realize that this is
one of the many, many, many
reasons we call you creepy.
383
00:20:46,326 --> 00:20:50,326
We actually made a list.
It's 12 pages. Single spaced.
384
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:55,210
If anyone has any objections
to this marriage, speak now,
or forever hold your peace.
385
00:20:56,085 --> 00:20:57,875
I object.
Me too!
386
00:20:57,877 --> 00:20:59,677
Me three.
I still have to pee.
387
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,881
Now, any objections?
388
00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:06,563
(MUFFLED YELLING)
389
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:09,646
Great! Now, let's
get to the good stuff!
390
00:21:09,649 --> 00:21:13,309
With the power
vested in me by
the great state of Minnesota,
391
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,813
you see, Minnesota
is where I'm licensed.
392
00:21:16,856 --> 00:21:19,776
Get on with it, Chucky!
Yeah. okay, okay...
393
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,531
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
394
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,245
What...
The...
395
00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:28,786
Heck?
396
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,748
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
397
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:34,710
Ah, more guests!
You know what that means...
More presents!
398
00:21:34,714 --> 00:21:37,554
Where are you registered?
Bedlam, Bath, and Beyond?
399
00:21:38,758 --> 00:21:41,468
I hope her "something new"
is a life coach.
400
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,012
Let's be honest.
This is like
the 10th weirdest thing
401
00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:46,144
to happen on this terrace.
402
00:21:47,387 --> 00:21:48,847
Put me down for beef
at the reception.
403
00:21:51,391 --> 00:21:53,931
Wrap this thing up,
Reverend Chucky...
404
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,073
You may now kiss the groom.
405
00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:57,395
Don't mind if I do.
406
00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:01,359
You think you're
having a bad day?
(ELEVATOR DOOR DINGS)
407
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,031
I just got fired.
408
00:22:03,032 --> 00:22:05,412
BOOMER: Emma,
are you here?
409
00:22:05,405 --> 00:22:07,745
Ah, we should talk about
what happened tonight.
410
00:22:07,747 --> 00:22:09,077
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
411
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,998
Connie?
Uncle Boomer?
412
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,500
ALL: Uncle Boomer?
413
00:22:14,043 --> 00:22:16,463
Connie, you release
all these people right now!
414
00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:19,836
You know how much
your mom hates it
when you take hostages!
415
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,669
Oh, Uncle Boomer,
can't it wait till after
the honeymoon?
416
00:22:22,672 --> 00:22:24,632
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
417
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,974
You gotta knock it off.
You have so many
restraining orders,
418
00:22:26,966 --> 00:22:30,596
there's basically only
three places in New York City
where you can stand.
419
00:22:31,561 --> 00:22:33,891
Oh, okay.
You're no fun.
420
00:22:35,815 --> 00:22:37,735
(GRUNTS)
421
00:22:37,737 --> 00:22:40,527
Connie, I want you to know,
I am dedicating my life
422
00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:42,900
to getting you back
for all this.
423
00:22:42,902 --> 00:22:44,152
Right after I use
the bathroom.
424
00:22:47,156 --> 00:22:48,786
Ow.
425
00:22:48,788 --> 00:22:52,868
I'm getting you back too,
for making me wear this
hideous bridesmaid's dress.
426
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:57,172
Although,
if another role come up,
here's my resume.
427
00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:59,166
Scaring men
is one of my
special skills.
428
00:23:03,002 --> 00:23:05,812
So, Boomer, we're really
glad you showed up, but...
429
00:23:05,805 --> 00:23:08,055
Why did you show up?
430
00:23:08,057 --> 00:23:10,637
Well, I think I was
too hard on Emma.
431
00:23:11,561 --> 00:23:12,721
Consider yourself re-hired.
432
00:23:12,722 --> 00:23:14,772
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
433
00:23:14,774 --> 00:23:17,234
Because you realized
that even though
I made one teeny mistake,
434
00:23:17,226 --> 00:23:19,276
I'm still the best employee
you've ever had?
435
00:23:19,278 --> 00:23:24,228
No, because people keep asking
for a petite leafwich and
I have no idea what that is.
436
00:23:24,233 --> 00:23:27,533
It's a lettuce leaf
with ketchup that we sold
for 11 bucks a pop.
437
00:23:27,527 --> 00:23:31,157
Dios mio!
You are the best employee
I've ever had.
438
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,490
Thanks, Boomer.
439
00:23:32,492 --> 00:23:34,162
Well, we better be going.
440
00:23:37,537 --> 00:23:40,457
Hey, you still
owe me $600.
441
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:43,000
Sorry, I spent
all my money
on the wedding.
442
00:23:43,002 --> 00:23:45,422
I love you,
Lukie-Pookie!
443
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,894
Good seeing you again, Ravi.
444
00:23:46,886 --> 00:23:49,346
Ha! I knew
you remembered me!
445
00:23:49,348 --> 00:23:54,008
I did the whole time.
I was just embarrassed
that I had dated you.
446
00:23:54,013 --> 00:23:55,563
It still counts!
447
00:23:56,766 --> 00:23:58,476
Good riddance,
Creepy Connie.
448
00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,818
Don't call me
Creepy Connie!
449
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:05,440
Call me
Creepy Connie-Ross!
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
450
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,164
All you single ladies,
get ready for the bouquet.
451
00:24:08,157 --> 00:24:09,987
Oh!
Ha!
452
00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:12,370
It's mine, hah!
453
00:24:12,371 --> 00:24:14,871
Better not take down those
decorations on the terrace,
454
00:24:14,874 --> 00:24:17,844
'cause Jessie's
gonna land
herself a man.
35197
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