All language subtitles for Jessie.S03E08_0

(SHATTERING)

Whoa! They weren't
kidding when they marked
that thing "fragile."

(VIDEO GAME
SOUNDS BLARING)

Luke, this video game thing
is becoming obsessive.

Yeah. We were
in the park for two hours,
and you never looked up.

He stood still for so long,
a Chihuahua mistook him
for a fire hydrant.

Could've been worse.
It could've been
a Great Dane.

Hey, Tony,
I'm diggin'
the new epaulets.

Very commanding.

Thanks for noticing!
I'm glad somebody did.

Hey, I noticed when
you switched your hair gel

from Super Hold to
Concrete Coiffure.

Only 'cause you borrowed
it to re-glue the fender
onto Zuri's bike.

Cool Power Pony decals,
by the way.

I've got the same ones
on my luggage cart.

(JESSIE SCOFFS)

You watch Power Ponies?

♪ In a beautiful kingdom
by the sea

♪ Lives the prettiest pony
you ever did see

♪ She can talk and fly
and do karaoke

♪ And her pony pals
are sold separately ♪

I wish if I could
break up with you again.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS BLARING)

This would be oddly soothing,
if I did not have to tinkle.

Don't worry,
I've to do laundry anyway.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

♪ It feels like a party
every day

♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way

♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around

♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground

♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town

♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down

♪ Hey Jessie

♪ Hey Jessie

♪ It feels like a party
every day

♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪

Wow, my psychology
textbook says

women who never marry
are more likely to be
high achievers.

That's great news for Jessie!

Jessie is a catch.

I'm sure she'll find
someone wonderful.

That's really sweet
of you to say.

Are you feeling okay?

Better than okay.

I'm in love with love.

Does my little
sister have a crush?

Maybe.

Yes!

He's older, super nice,

and he looks so
handsome in his uniform.

Uniform? Who is he?

Wouldn't you
like to know?

Yes, that's why
I'm asking!

JESSIE: No more video games,
you need a new hobby.

But I don't need
dance lessons!

What's next, a class
on how to be cool
and good-looking?

Okay, trust me,
someday you'll
thank me for this.

And so will your thumbs.

(GRUNTING)

Uh, Mr. McNichol?

Ah... (CHUCKLING)

So you're familiar
with me and my
international reputation

as an innovative
dance artiste?

Of course...
(CHUCKLES)

Also, I found your
coupon on the bus.

That's expired.
You'll have to
pay full price.

No problem.
Yeah.

And speaking of problems,
this is, Luke.

Nice to meet you,
although I doubt there's
anything you can teach me.

(CHUCKLES)

I'd applaud,
but I'm paralyzed
with delight!

(CHUCKLES)

Finally, a student
who is talented!

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, please.
I've accepted it,
why can't you?

Although, your technique
could use some tinkering.

Now, watch and learn
as I demonstrate

my trademark move!

A-five, six, seven, eight,
one, two... (SCREAMING)

Man down! Man down!

Which part was the trademark,
the collapsing
or the shrieking?

I don't know, just applaud.

That wasn't the move!
I have a chronic
knee injury!

Dance stole my heart,

and then shattered my knee.

Treasure your cartilage
while you can.

(WHIMPERS)

He's weird
and I am leaving.

They're cute
and I am staying.

Thanks for helping me
with my psychology
homework.

Now I'm going to
give you a pink blot test.

You mean "ink blot" test.

Not the way I do it!

What you see in these
blots will help reveal your
inner feelings.

Emma. Emma.

I am too sophisticated
for this test.

All I will see is
a meaningless blob.

Let's try anyway.

What do you see?

(TEARFULLY) A lonely boy,
ostracized in the cafeteria.

He desperately waits
for the bell to ring,

as he eats his
lunch behind
the milk station.

Huh. Luke said, it looked
like a cheerleader
doing a handstand.

Did it make him cry, too?

You know,
psychology is supes useful.

Like with Zuri.
She's got her first crush,

and now I can give her
expert advice!

What do these tragic
blots have to do with Zuri's
percolating hormones?

I don't know yet.
I'm only on Chapter 1.

Hey, Emma, I've decided to
tell you-know-who about
you-know-what.

(GASPING) Really?
Oh, please tell me
who he is!

You're not getting it
out of me that easily.

But I'll give you
one more hint.

His name starts with a T.

Tennessee Williams,
celebrated playwright!

Sorry, do I get
one more hint?

No. I'm out of here.

Ooh, and I'm taking this
picture of Reba with me!

So we know this
guy is older,

wears a uniform,
and his name
starts with a T.

(GASPING)
Do you know what
that means?

Zuri is in love with Tony!

Ooh! Tony and Zuri?
Now that is cray cray!

Oh, no! If Tony
handles this badly,

it could mean permanent
emotional damage for Zuri.
What do I do?

Might I suggest
reading Chapter 2?

Huh. I really do not
see the cheerleader.

Ah, there she is!

(TEARFULLY)
But she looks so lonely.

She has been cut from
the cheerleading squad,

and dumped by
her boyfriend, Brock...
(SOBBING)

LUKE: Man, I love dancing.

I've got two more hours
of practice before bed.

(CHUCKLES) Wait, wait, wait!
Homework first,
then hobbies!

Wow, I'm on a roll!

I should try to get Zuri
to eat a vegetable!

Oh, I, uh, don't do
homework anymore.

I'm a dancer now.

What? Who told you
dancers don't do homework?

Phil did. He said I should
eat, sleep and breathe
"the dance."

So when do you do
"the homework"
and clean "the room"?

Hey, you're the one
who told me that if
I put in the effort,

I'd be thanking you,
and you were right!

Thanks for getting
homework out of
my life forever!

(SIGHS)
My job would be
so much easier

if it weren't
for all these kids.

(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Phil, I need to
talk to you.
Ah!

Oh, Jessie!
Thank you for visiting.
We don't allow visitors.

Did you tell Luke he
doesn't have to clean his
room or do his homework?

Or brush his teeth.
Yes, I did.

Yeah? Have you smelled
his breath lately?

It's like the inside
of a decaying,
garlic-loving cat.

(SNAPS FINGER)
Look!
(MUSIC CEASES)

That boy is brilliant,
and his breath is only gonna
be an issue for the front row.

Now, thank you
for the gift that is Luke,

but you need to go.
Come on.

You know what?
I will go, and I'm taking
"the gift" with me.

No, no, You can't!
He's going to put my dance
studio on the map!

Well, if he doesn't do
his homework he won't be
able to spell map.

Luke, we're leaving.
(LAUGHING)

No! I don't want
to leave!

Sorry, but my mind
is made up.

Nanny! Wait!
Do that again!

Do what again?

That dramatic turn.

(GASPING)

Such regal posture,
such swan-like grace!

Obviously,
you've danced before.

(CHUCKLES) Well,
I don't mean to brag,
but I was on drill team.

(GASPING)
There was a whole thing

in the school paper
about it.

You probably
didn't see it.

No, no, no.

Well, I didn't have to.
You're a natural danseuse.

I want, nay,
I need you to
join this class,

and perform
with us on Saturday

when we compete
on a live episode of

Seriously,
You Call That Dancing?

Seriously?
...You Call That Dancing?

Yes, that's the full title.
Please keep up.

That's my favorite show
of all time!

Me, too! And now,
now that I have Luke,

and you, of course,

I'm going to win!

You mean we're going to win!

Oh! I can't wait to
brag about this at
the drill team reunion!

(PANT RIPPING)
Oh.

(CLEARS THROAT)
I really hope that ripping
noise was my pants.

Tony, we need to
talk to you about
a secret admirer.

Yes, a young lady
in the building is quite
taken with you.

Is this about
Mrs. Felton in 14D?

With the constant
prune deliveries?

She's not exactly "young."
I think she went to prom
with Abe Lincoln.

No! It's Zuri.

Zuri? No way!
Why would little Zuri
have a crush on me?

Well, for starters,
you enjoy the same cartoons.

They are not cartoons.

They are animated
musical extravaganzas.

Those ponies are artists.

You need to be careful,

because my psychology
textbook says Zuri is at
a very delicate age,

when rejection could
affect her for the rest
of her life.

Oh, no. Okay...
What should I do?

Just make sure to
let Zuri down easy,

so she won't end up
and living alone
and feeding 30 cats!

That would be horrible!

If you think that is bad,
you should see
Emma's blots.

They are sparkly
tableaus of misery.

Pop, step, swing,
zsa, zsa.

I forgot a zsa! Zsa.

I love it.
I should've put
a ring on it.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

We need to talk, missy!

Why did you leave me
a to-do list of your jobs?

So it would be
easier for you
to do them?

No, no. I'm not covering
all your duties

just so you can rehearse
for your little recital.

Hey, it's just
three more days.

Then you can get back
to your strict
whining schedule.

Bertram, what are you
doing here?

Taking both of you
out of this class!

I'm calling your parents
and pulling the plug
on this whole thing.

How many meddlesome
servants does this boy have?

Okay, let's not be hasty.

I'm staying here!

You're going home.
And you need
a breath mint.

Man servant, wait!

Do that again please.

What? This?

(GASPING)

That was
poetry in motion.

It was?
Yes!

Usually he's poetry
napping on the couch.

PHIL:
One, two, three and four.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS) Whoa!

Now I know why
they call them tights.

Wow, Phil must
really need more students.

(PANTING)

(CHUCKLES) This is fun!

Should my arm be tingling?

Quiet!
Between your panting,

your erratic heartbeat,
and your thighs slapping,
I can't hear my cue!

Okay, this is it, people.

In 20 minutes,
we're going to be on live TV.

(APPLAUDING)

There's actually
a 10-second delay.

Last year a group
of little girls called
Sparkle Motion

got nervous and vomited
in perfect unison.

Talented children scare me.

That's a two
way street, dude.

Class, attencion, attencion.
(POPPING CHEEKS) Dancers.

Uh, I'm a little behind
on the rent,
so if you mess up,

uh, the studio will be closed,

and I will be living
in my mother's minivan,

which smells
of fish sticks and death.

(CHUCKLES)
But no pressure.

Just go out there
and have some fun!

Hey!

Don't worry about me
and Bertram. Okay?

We're going to give it
all we've got!

Aw, thanks, Jessie.
And I love everything
you're doing.

But one very minor note.

You're no longer
in the number.

What? You're
kicking me out?

Yes, yes, but feel free
to sit in the audience.

But not the front row.
Because that's for people
I care about.

Just...

Gosh, what a shame.

But Phil has to do
what's best for the group.

Oh, and Bertram?
You're cut too.
Hmm.

What? But I emailed
everyone who made
fun of me

in middle school
just so I could gloat.

(WEEPING)
It took nine hours!

My dad planned
a barbecue around this.

He created a special
burger in my honor!

(BOTH WEEPING)

What kind of burger?

Burned on the outside,
cold and raw on the inside,
like all his burgers!

But it's the thought
that counts.

Was it going to
have cheese?

It was gonna.
(WEEPING)

Hey, Phil.
Hmm?

You cut Jessie
and Bertram?
Why would you do that?

I couldn't let them perform.

They dance like blindfolded
chickens on ice skates.

Well, duh! But couldn't
you just put them in back,
so no one could see them?

No! They could've
ended up on camera!

I couldn't take
that chance.

Well, they're my friends
and you just humiliated them.

If they're not in the show,
I'm not in the show.

I quit!
No, no. Luke!
No, Luke!

Luke! No, no. (SHRIEKS)
There it goes.

How can you blame me?

Jessie's an oaf
and Bertram sweats
so much,

he's like a giant,
rotating lawn sprinkler!

Surely, it can't be
the first time
you've heard that.

Oh, hey, Tony.

Zuri, we have to talk.

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

But I'm not giving you
any more of my
Power Pony stickers.

Fine.

I guess I just have to eat
a lot more cereal to
complete my set.

Look, Zuri, I know
you're at a very delicate
age right now,

and I don't want to
say anything that'll
make you end up

uh, living in Rome
and eating dirty cats.

Did you hit your head
playing choo-choo
on the luggage cart again?

No way.
I padded that thing
after the last time.

Look, I heard you
have a little crush on me.

And I'm really flattered,
because you're awesome,

but I think you should find
someone a little closer
to your own age.

(LAUGHING)

You think I have
a crush on you?
Who told you that?

Emma and Ravi!

And you believed them?

Well, Emma is
studying psychology.

Oh, please. Last year
she thought geometry was
the study of the letter G!

It's not!

Luke, what's wrong?
Phil told us you quit.

He said you had
stage fright.

And I said
that's ridiculous,

because on the red carpet
for your dad's
last premiere,

you photo-bombed
Jennifer Lawrence.

Oh, she loved it.

I quit because Phil
was just using you guys
to keep me in class.

BOTH: What?

Ah! That makes sense.

I blame you.

Wait. So, you quit
because of us?

Yeah.
Aw, that is so sweet.

And stupid.
What?

Luke, you are brilliant
at dancing, and you've
worked so hard.

You shouldn't give up
this opportunity because
of me and Bertram.

But I'll have lots of
opportunities to dance
in front of people.

You guys stink,
so this was
your only chance.

Well, this shouldn't
be about us.

Anyway, I am so glad
I convinced you to take
dance in the first place.

Actually, the cute girls
in class convinced me.

Okay, but I'm the one
who convinced you
to stay in the class.

Actually, that was
the lack of homework.

Come on,
just throw her a bone.
This is getting sad.

You know what, Jessie?
You were the one
who told me

to get serious about
dancing in the first place.

And you were right.

I never really thought
about what I want to do
with my life before,

and now I know
I want to be a dancer.

So, thank you.

You're welcome.

(BERTRAM CHUCKLES)

And arts are
a great career.

If your parents
are really rich.

Now get out there
and dance.

Hurry up,
the show starts
in two minutes!

Thanks, guys.
This is so much better
than doing homework!

Which you're
still doing later!

No, he won't.
I know.

Do you think Tony
has spoken to Zuri yet?

I don't know.
But I hope, if he did,
he let her down easy.

Unlike Brock, the cruel
quarterback who broke
that poor cheerleader's heart!

Let it go! That blot
was supposed to be
a butterfly!

You said there were
no wrong answers.

And yet
you came up with one!

Hey, guys. What's new?

Someone told Tony
that I had a crush on him.

(GASPS) Who would do that?
I do not know what
you are talking about.

Relax, she knows
it was you guys.

Turns out, it's
someone else she likes.

Two guys whose
names start with a T.

What are the odds?

The boy I like is Tommy.

He's a grade ahead of me,
and a star pitcher
on the baseball team.

Ah, yes.
I have seen him
in the halls.

But since he is popular,
we have never actually met.

Well, you're about to,
because his mom
is taking us to a movie!

(GASPING)

Doesn't he look
so cute in his uniform?

Not too shabby.

Hi, I'm...
Bye.

Why didn't Zuri
introduce us?

It is almost as if she
is embarrassed by us.

I can't imagine why.

Be right back.

Tony, I'm really sorry
I put you in such an awkward
position with Zuri.

I guess I'm not
so good at psychology.

It's okay.

I did horrible in
all the "ologies."
Like cosmetology.

Which I signed up
for by mistake,

thinking I was going
to be an astronaut.

So, you're not mad at me?

No way.

You were just looking
out for your kid sister.

And I think
that's really sweet.

You do? Aw!

And I think
you're terrific.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Oops, gotta go hail a cab.

Aw!

Tony just said
I was "terrific."

I have to go watch
every single episode
of Power Ponies,

in case he wants
to talk about it.

Wow, I need to
get a uniform.

Then the babes
will be all over me.

Yes, yes.

(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Wow, he is fantastic!

(CHUCKLES) I know!
I'm so proud of him.

If he just applied
himself like this
at school,

he'll make
the honor roll!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(CHEERING)

Sweet jazz hands, we won!

Now, I don't have to
move into my mother's
minivan.

Which is great because
she wouldn't give me
the keys anyway.

Oh, Luke,
you were incredible!

Thank you, Jessie!

Congratulations!

I think we all know
the right thing to do
is to give that to me.

Jessie, you're gonna
let him run off
with our trophy?

Oh, don't worry,
he won't get far.

(PANTING)

All right, hit it!

(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(HOARSELY) I need to go
lay down now.

Thank you! Thank you!

It's a shame
the world will
never see it.

I think the world
will be okay.

That was even scarier
than Emma's blots!