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1
00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:08,106
Jessie, you're
brushing too hard!
2
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:08,779
(GRUNTS)
3
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:13,041
Ow! Careful!
4
00:00:13,044 --> 00:00:14,724
I want to look like
Beyonce, not Bertram!
5
00:00:17,148 --> 00:00:19,788
Sorry, sweetie,
I'm rushing
6
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,390
'cause tonight is my
one-year anniversary
with Tony.
7
00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:24,133
And I have to finish
my gift before our date.
8
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,155
You're giving him
clumps of my hair?
9
00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:28,628
You guys are
one weird couple.
10
00:00:30,501 --> 00:00:32,401
No. I'm writing
him a song.
11
00:00:32,403 --> 00:00:34,213
That's really
romantic, Jessie.
12
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:37,765
Cheap, but romantic.
13
00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:41,568
Well, everyone knows
the best gifts come
from the heart, not a store.
14
00:00:41,572 --> 00:00:44,622
Also, I'm broke, so...
15
00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:47,075
Ugh! Who taught you
to cook, Bertram,
16
00:00:47,078 --> 00:00:49,048
Wolfgang Yuck?
(LAUGHS)
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,319
Where did you
study bathing,
18
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,782
the Hudson River?
19
00:00:52,783 --> 00:00:53,783
(MOCKINGLY)
Na, na, na!
(MOCKINGLY) Na, na, na!
20
00:00:53,784 --> 00:00:56,234
Hey.
21
00:00:56,227 --> 00:01:00,157
I hope this gruel
gives me extra strength
for P.E. today.
22
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:04,201
Just once, I would like
not to be mocked for
my lack of athletic prowess.
23
00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:06,595
Oh, well, you should
tell whoever is doing
that to knock it off.
24
00:01:06,597 --> 00:01:09,097
Luke, you heard the
woman, knock it off!
25
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:12,301
Let's see what
you got here, Jessie.
26
00:01:12,303 --> 00:01:14,353
Hmm.
27
00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:16,845
"Tony, Tony, Tony,
I love you more than
baloney, loney, loney."
28
00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:18,849
Really?
29
00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,552
Okay, first,
it's a metaphor.
30
00:01:23,554 --> 00:01:27,694
And second, baloney is
easily the world's greatest
processed meat product.
31
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,688
Is this
a metaphor, too?
32
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,360
"Tony, you're spicier
than pepperoni"?
33
00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:33,393
I was hungry, okay?
34
00:01:35,126 --> 00:01:38,796
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
35
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:42,629
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
36
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:46,183
♪ It feels like a party
every day
37
00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:48,777
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
38
00:01:48,779 --> 00:01:53,309
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
39
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:56,724
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:02:00,517
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
41
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:04,121
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
42
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:08,204
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
43
00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:11,329
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
44
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,202
♪ Hey Jessie
45
00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:16,435
♪ Hey Jessie
46
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:22,309
♪ It feels like a party
every day
47
00:02:22,313 --> 00:02:25,423
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
48
00:02:31,622 --> 00:02:33,322
(ALL CHATTERING)
49
00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:34,264
(SCREAMS)
50
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:35,585
I've got it!
51
00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:37,156
Yeah, I've got it, too.
52
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,757
And by "it," I mean
massive hearing loss.
53
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,590
No. I've got a great
idea for Kitty Couture!
54
00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,643
What to wear for
your first anniversary!
55
00:02:44,635 --> 00:02:47,195
My viewers will love it!
You can be my model!
56
00:02:47,198 --> 00:02:49,498
This is quite a step
up for you, Jessie.
57
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,640
All Emma has ever
used you for was
the tragic "before" picture.
58
00:02:55,306 --> 00:02:56,606
Hey, babe.
59
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:57,547
Hey. So, tonight's
the big night, huh?
60
00:02:57,548 --> 00:02:59,748
Oh, you bet it is!
61
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,950
It's the Doorman Bowling
League Championship!
62
00:03:01,952 --> 00:03:03,352
Wanna come?
63
00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:04,294
It might be
right up your
64
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:04,885
alley! (LAUGHS)
65
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,857
(LAUGHING HESITANTLY)
66
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,290
That would have
killed at the lanes.
67
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,203
Okay, I'll meet you
in the lobby
after your shift.
68
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,595
I can't wait
to "go bowling" with you.
69
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,727
(CHUCKLES) Me, too!
70
00:03:18,729 --> 00:03:19,899
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
71
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,870
Duty calls.
72
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:24,813
Huh.
73
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,875
Wow! Tony forgot
your anniversary?
74
00:03:27,878 --> 00:03:29,438
That's got to sting.
75
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,240
No. Come on.
He's clearly playing dumb.
76
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:33,243
Playing?
77
00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:36,394
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
78
00:03:36,947 --> 00:03:38,787
(WHISTLES)
79
00:03:38,789 --> 00:03:40,589
All right, buttercups,
cut the chitchat
and line up!
80
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,332
Begging your pardon,
Coach Penny,
81
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,455
but gymnastics is hardly fair
to those of us with limited,
82
00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:49,758
yet age-appropriate,
upper body strength.
83
00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:53,401
Fair? (CHUCKLES)
84
00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:54,814
If everything was fair,
I wouldn't be stuck
with two non-refundable
85
00:03:54,805 --> 00:03:57,435
first-class tickets
to Fiji!
86
00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,868
Hope you and the
lunch lady are very
happy together, Harold!
87
00:04:00,871 --> 00:04:00,941
(WHISTLES)
88
00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:06,724
(GRUNTING)
89
00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:20,588
Whoa! Ahhh!
(WHIMPERS)
90
00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:23,031
ALL: Ooh!
91
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,943
(GROANING)
92
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,007
(SCREAMING)
93
00:04:41,512 --> 00:04:41,912
ALL: Ooh!
94
00:04:43,954 --> 00:04:46,824
Coach Penny,
please forgive me.
95
00:04:46,817 --> 00:04:50,417
Ah, don't sweat it.
You weigh less than
my cat, Mr. Doodlewad.
96
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,371
(SCREAMING)
97
00:05:02,373 --> 00:05:03,873
(GRUNTS)
ALL: Ooh!
98
00:05:06,437 --> 00:05:09,877
Oh. Maybe
extra breakfast
was a bad idea.
99
00:05:13,984 --> 00:05:17,594
(RAVI VOMITING)
(ALL CRINGE)
100
00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:20,448
Huh, still looks
better than when
Bertram served it to us.
101
00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:24,533
Well, that does it
for gymnastics.
102
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,455
Some of you
should be very proud.
103
00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:30,558
That's how I do.
(CHUCKLES)
104
00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:33,401
Others of you
owe the janitor
a letter of apology.
105
00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:39,906
Now, our next unit
106
00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:42,010
features a sport
that relies more
on brains than brawn.
107
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:44,952
Please be chess!
Please be chess!
108
00:05:46,877 --> 00:05:48,617
Tomorrow, we fence!
109
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:51,819
That's right! I got
a sword now, Harold!
110
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,693
(SCREAMING)
111
00:05:57,428 --> 00:05:59,788
♪ Oh, Tony, you make
my heart rock and roll
112
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:03,830
♪ You open doors
to the building of my soul ♪
113
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,635
Ugh.
114
00:06:07,097 --> 00:06:09,537
Jessie, we're about
to start filming.
115
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:11,000
You can ruin music
for everyone later.
116
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,782
I appreciate the
destructive criticism,
117
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,945
but I have to finish my song
before my date with Tony.
118
00:06:17,948 --> 00:06:21,508
Maybe you'll find
the inspiration to finish
your song on the elevator.
119
00:06:21,512 --> 00:06:23,452
I found a quarter
there once.
120
00:06:23,454 --> 00:06:24,964
The place
is a gold mine!
121
00:06:25,756 --> 00:06:29,016
All right. Uh...
122
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:32,589
♪ Oh, Tony, you are
my green-eyed king
123
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,603
♪ You push the buttons
that make my heart
go ding, ding ♪
124
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,099
Maybe I'll just
get him a gift card.
125
00:06:45,976 --> 00:06:48,536
Whoa! You look great!
(CHUCKLES)
126
00:06:48,539 --> 00:06:52,909
But don't you think
that's a little dressy for
the Hackensack Bowling Shack?
127
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,043
Wait, you're... You're
actually going bowling?
128
00:06:54,044 --> 00:06:57,024
Yeah, the Pin Heads need me!
129
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,487
What? No, no...
130
00:06:58,489 --> 00:07:00,749
Are you comin'?
131
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,551
No! No, I think
I'll just hang out
here in the lobby,
132
00:07:02,553 --> 00:07:04,833
in my beautiful dress
and full makeup,
133
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,155
which took me an
hour and a half to do.
134
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:09,457
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
But it's ten-cent
hot wings until 9:00!
135
00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:16,073
I can't believe it.
He really did forget
our anniversary!
136
00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:17,936
Aw, this is
so tragic.
137
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,108
Zuri, are you
getting this?
138
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,110
Every humiliating moment.
139
00:07:23,714 --> 00:07:26,454
Ugh! I just wanna bang
my head against a wall.
140
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,546
I swear he gives me
no respect at all.
141
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,180
Wait, that's not bad.
142
00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:38,564
♪ I'm in my fancy dress
You said we'd leave at 8:00
143
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,989
♪ You're in your bowling shoes
Huh! You call that a date?
144
00:07:41,992 --> 00:07:44,972
♪ I should've known
this wouldn't work
145
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,765
♪ You jerk! ♪
146
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,038
Wow! That's
actually good.
147
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,670
Yeah, her stories about
deadbeat boyfriends
148
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,172
are so much better
when they're set to music!
149
00:08:02,653 --> 00:08:04,013
Hey, Jessie.
150
00:08:04,014 --> 00:08:07,624
Uh, got a sec?
I need some advice.
151
00:08:07,618 --> 00:08:10,258
I hope it's not about
relationships, 'cause
I can't help you there.
152
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:12,722
Everyone knows
that, Jessie.
153
00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,666
It's about Ravi.
154
00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:21,129
He's having a really
hard time in P.E.
More than usual.
155
00:08:21,131 --> 00:08:23,801
So, help him out.
156
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,814
Might as well make him
feel good about himself
while he's young,
157
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,236
'cause once you grow up,
life is nothing but
disappointments,
158
00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:29,137
heartbreaks, and betrayals.
159
00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:33,511
Okay! Good talk! Thanks!
160
00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:40,147
Jessie! Cheer up,
I have some great news!
161
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:42,590
Tony lost his hand
in the bowling ball return?
162
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,004
No, Emma
uploaded the video
163
00:08:46,997 --> 00:08:49,297
of your angry song
about Tony
on Kitty Couture!
164
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:53,959
What? You posted
my pain on the Internet
for everyone to see?
165
00:08:53,964 --> 00:08:55,674
That is unforgivable!
166
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:59,036
But everyone loves it!
Your song is a huge hit!
167
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,039
And you're forgiven!
168
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,652
Remember, never ever
let your guard down,
169
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,745
'cause you could be stabbed
in the back at any time!
170
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,280
Ravi Ross,
front and center!
171
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:14,992
Well, I have lived
a full 11 years.
172
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:16,955
Perhaps I shall be
reincarnated as a doormat.
173
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,727
That way I can cut out
the middle man.
174
00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:23,931
Okay, who wants
to make a Ravi kebab?
175
00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:26,204
Oh! I'll do it,
Coach Penny!
176
00:09:26,196 --> 00:09:28,796
I am to be felled
by my own brother?
177
00:09:28,799 --> 00:09:30,199
Oh, woe is me!
178
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,671
En garde!
179
00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:36,114
(FAKING) Oh, no!
180
00:09:36,106 --> 00:09:37,146
(WHIMPERING)
181
00:09:37,147 --> 00:09:38,577
(GRUNTS MEEKLY)
182
00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:44,962
Why are they
pounding their hands
together like that?
183
00:09:44,955 --> 00:09:46,915
Are they warming up
their fist to punch me?
184
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,018
No. Ravi, they're
clapping for you!
185
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,261
Huh! I did not
see this coming.
186
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:55,603
Ravi Ross
is the winner!
187
00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:00,368
I won?
188
00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,830
I won!
I am so macho!
189
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,737
Whoa, Emma's viewers
really are loving me.
190
00:10:10,741 --> 00:10:13,681
Bertram, check it out.
191
00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:18,054
"Jessie's song captures
what it's like to be taken
for granted by a man.
192
00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:22,918
"And the step-by-step
instructions for rigging a
tripwire were invaluable."
193
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,703
You must be so proud.
194
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:26,795
(CHUCKLES) I'm just
like Taylor Swift!
195
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:29,197
Except for the money,
sequins, awards, talent.
196
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,800
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
197
00:10:33,063 --> 00:10:35,343
Jessie, there you are!
198
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,335
I've been calling
you all day. Why
didn't you answer?
199
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,067
Oh! Oh, what,
just 'cause you're a man,
200
00:10:39,069 --> 00:10:40,269
I have to be at your
constant beck and call?
201
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,310
No!
202
00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:44,212
Yes?
203
00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,084
To be honest,
I don't know what
"beck and call" means.
204
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,177
Anyway,
happy anniversary!
205
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:51,079
(SCOFFS) Little late!
206
00:10:51,081 --> 00:10:53,151
What do you mean?
It's today.
207
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,263
It was exactly one year ago
we kissed in that teacup.
208
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,825
Here's the citation
we got for trespassing.
209
00:10:58,288 --> 00:11:00,358
I kept it for
my memory book.
210
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,092
Oh, no! I got
the date wrong!
211
00:11:04,094 --> 00:11:06,874
You must be
so mad at me.
212
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,397
Why would I be
mad for a little
thing like that?
213
00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:10,699
(CHUCKLES)
That would be crazy.
214
00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:13,041
(CHUCKLES)
Right. So crazy.
215
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,205
Anyway, I have an
awesome night planned.
216
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:21,378
I got us tickets to this
all-girl singer-songwriter
showcase in Central Park
217
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,811
called Estro-Palooza!
218
00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:26,193
Oh, Tony,
that's so thoughtful.
219
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,816
And not at all
"Callous and mean,
like a love-killing machine."
220
00:11:34,164 --> 00:11:36,704
Jessie! The director
of Estro-Palooza emailed me!
221
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,426
She loves your song!
222
00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:40,228
(GASPS) That's amazing!
223
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:41,830
Even better,
she wants you
to perform it tonight!
224
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:45,142
(GASPS) That's horrible.
225
00:11:45,135 --> 00:11:47,735
I got the
merchandising
covered.
226
00:11:47,738 --> 00:11:49,908
Jessie T-shirts,
227
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,840
coffee mugs,
228
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,892
and Tony the
Thoughtless Doorman
stress dolls.
229
00:11:59,149 --> 00:12:03,149
Ah! I can feel my stress
just melting away.
230
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,255
Emma, I can't do it.
231
00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,057
I'm the one who forgot
our anniversary.
232
00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:11,859
I can't sing that
mean song ever again.
233
00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:14,062
But this festival
is a huge deal!
234
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:16,074
A bunch of big-time
artists have been
discovered there.
235
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:17,336
You could be next!
236
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,037
(SIGHS) So, let me
get this straight,
237
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,770
in order to get
my big break,
238
00:12:21,772 --> 00:12:23,812
I have to publicly
trash my boyfriend
239
00:12:23,814 --> 00:12:25,424
at a concert
he's taking me to
for our anniversary?
240
00:12:25,415 --> 00:12:28,075
What am I gonna do?
241
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:29,318
Stress doll?
242
00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:39,126
Okay, I'll distract Tony
while you and Zuri sneak
down to the park.
243
00:12:39,129 --> 00:12:40,989
After you perform,
I'll tell him
there was a mix-up
244
00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:43,131
and he was supposed
to meet you down there.
245
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,803
(SIGHS) I can't believe
I'm really doing this.
246
00:12:45,796 --> 00:12:46,536
My stomach hasn't been
this upset since I won
the T-Bone Challenge
247
00:12:46,536 --> 00:12:48,866
at Sir Loins-A-Lot.
248
00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:56,413
Tony! My favorite pair
of high heels is missing!
249
00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:57,846
We have to look
through the security
camera footage
250
00:12:57,848 --> 00:12:59,378
until we find
that couture klepto.
251
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,409
Aw, man. Jessie and I
are about to go out
252
00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:04,211
on our date. Can't it wait
until tomorrow?
253
00:13:04,214 --> 00:13:06,394
Imagine if someone
stole your hair gel!
254
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,086
Whoa! I didn't realize
it was that serious.
255
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:15,474
What are you doing?
256
00:13:15,465 --> 00:13:19,925
I just organized all
my utensils by first name!
257
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:24,170
I mean, the normal
not-weird way.
258
00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:26,814
(SIGHS) Ravi and I
are supposed to practice
our fencing for school,
259
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,506
and I need a place
to stash this.
260
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,238
He's been unbearable
ever since I let him win.
261
00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:34,482
Oh, there you are, Luke.
262
00:13:34,484 --> 00:13:36,924
I thought you might
have absconded
with our equipment.
263
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,387
I do not blame you.
264
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:42,489
If I had to fence me,
I would be scared
like a little girl, too.
265
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:47,264
I'm not scared of you.
266
00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:48,827
And neither
are little girls.
267
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,960
And, FYI, you didn't beat me.
268
00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,503
I let you win!
269
00:13:54,504 --> 00:13:57,844
(LAUGHS) Oh, Luke.
270
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,837
Poor, simple,
bad-at-fencing Luke.
271
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,421
There is no way you
can beat me at anything
remotely athletic!
272
00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:06,475
Or fencing!
273
00:14:09,219 --> 00:14:12,249
Well, it appears
there is only one way
to settle this!
274
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:15,534
En garde!
275
00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:17,455
Fine, let's dance!
276
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,457
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, I will not
tolerate any fighting!
277
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,360
Unless it's in the living
room where you can't
break any of my friends.
278
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:26,135
I mean, stuff.
279
00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:34,502
Wow. I haven't seen
this many unshaved legs
280
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:38,414
since I took
that free pottery class
at the vegan co-op.
281
00:14:38,408 --> 00:14:40,608
I just hope
they're in the mood
to drop some cash,
282
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,250
like their boyfriends
dropped them.
283
00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:46,123
I'm having
second thoughts
about trashing Tony
284
00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:47,516
in front of
this many people.
285
00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:49,587
The guilt is starting
to get to me.
286
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,089
Hey, look, it's Jessie!
(WHISTLING)
287
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:52,922
You're our hero!
288
00:14:52,923 --> 00:14:55,073
(ALL CHEERING)
289
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,567
That guilt
starting to fade?
290
00:14:58,568 --> 00:14:59,168
Little bit.
291
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:06,642
Prepare to taste
the cold steel
of defeat!
292
00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:09,106
Please! I can beat you
with one arm.
293
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,109
Oh, that can be arranged!
294
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,911
(BOTH GRUNTING)
295
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:31,160
(BOTH GRUNTING)
296
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,432
Admit it. I'm better!
297
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,044
Never! And brush your
teeth, man! Your breath
smells like dead feet!
298
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,071
(BOTH GRUNTING)
299
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:54,453
(EXCLAIMS)
300
00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:05,241
Uh-oh, that was
really expensive.
301
00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:06,565
(GASPS) Blame Zuri?
Yep!
302
00:16:08,238 --> 00:16:09,468
(BOTH GRUNTING)
303
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,269
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
304
00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:14,573
You're going down!
305
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,354
It appears
we both are!
306
00:16:16,346 --> 00:16:18,146
(BOTH GRUNTING)
307
00:16:18,148 --> 00:16:21,278
See? Here's me
in those shoes
at the mall.
308
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,451
And here's me
in those shoes
at a One D concert.
309
00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:24,583
And here's me in...
I get it!
310
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,124
You and those shoes
are very tight.
311
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:28,416
No! They fit
perfectly!
312
00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:31,360
(PHONE BEEPS)
313
00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:34,391
Hey, it's a text
from Jessie.
314
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,334
"At the concert
in the park.
Has Tony left yet?"
315
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:39,767
Aw, man! I didn't
know I was supposed
to meet her there!
316
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,370
Tony, wait!
317
00:16:42,372 --> 00:16:44,702
Ugh!
Stupid reliable
cell service!
318
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,214
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
319
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,506
Jessie, Tony's
on his way to the park!
320
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,237
(BLADE SLASHING)
Abort! Abort!
321
00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:55,753
Hey! (GASPS)
322
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,517
Here you go.
323
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,050
And don't forget to buy
your Tony the Thoughtless
Doorman stress dolls!
324
00:17:04,054 --> 00:17:05,334
(ALL CHEERING)
325
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,697
And now,
326
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,630
put your hands together
327
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,632
for the nanny who
can't keep a manny,
328
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,737
the sitter who makes
men wanna quit her,
329
00:17:21,371 --> 00:17:23,041
Jessie Prescott!
330
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,452
(ALL CHEERING)
331
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,245
We love you!
332
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,247
Thank you all very much!
333
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:32,179
Some of you may
have heard my song,
The Worst Year of My Life.
334
00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:33,552
(CHEERING)
335
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,163
All right!
336
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,785
(SONG STARTING)
337
00:17:41,831 --> 00:17:45,341
♪ I'm in my fancy dress
You said we'd leave at 8:00
338
00:17:45,335 --> 00:17:49,065
♪ You're in your bowling shoes
Oh, you call that a date?
339
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,368
♪ I should have known
this wouldn't work
340
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,642
♪ You jerk
ALL: You jerk!
341
00:17:54,644 --> 00:17:57,684
♪ It was supposed to be
Jessie?
342
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,347
♪ Our anniversary
What's she doing
on stage?
343
00:17:59,349 --> 00:18:00,749
♪ Instead you chose
this night...
344
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:03,080
Guess our tickets are
better than I thought.
345
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,422
♪ There must be
someone better ♪
Louder, Jessie!
346
00:18:05,415 --> 00:18:08,355
Make that chauvinist pig Tony
pay for ripping your heart out
and stomping on it!
347
00:18:08,358 --> 00:18:09,588
CROWD: Yeah!
348
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,289
♪ It was the worst year
349
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,822
Whoa, this Tony guy
sounds like a real bad dude.
♪ It was the worst year
350
00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:16,804
Hey, that's my name!
351
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,366
♪ Ripped my heart
right from my chest... ♪
352
00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:21,329
Tony?
Who?
353
00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:25,281
It's Tony! The guy
who ditched Jessie
to go bowling!
354
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:27,135
Here's a strike
for ya, pal!
355
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,377
No. No, no, no, please!
356
00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:31,579
It really wasn't
like that at all!
357
00:18:31,581 --> 00:18:36,721
Ow, ow! Hey! Why are you
hitting me with those
really good-looking dolls?
358
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,846
This is what you get
for dumping me a month
before our wedding, Harold!
359
00:18:38,848 --> 00:18:42,588
Who's Harold? Ow!
360
00:18:42,592 --> 00:18:45,402
Oh, Jessie.
This is the worst
anniversary date ever!
361
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:49,225
But it'll be great
for my vlog!
362
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,729
Hey! Watch
the epaulets!
363
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,801
(FEEDBACK SCREECHING)
364
00:18:53,803 --> 00:18:54,803
Everybody stop!
365
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:56,865
Stop!
366
00:18:58,268 --> 00:18:59,708
Look, none of this
was Tony's fault!
367
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:02,669
I'm the one who got
our anniversary wrong.
368
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:05,582
And even worse,
I overreacted
and wrote this mean
369
00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:09,645
but, let's face it,
pretty catchy, song.
370
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,819
Tony's actually
a wonderful guy.
371
00:19:11,821 --> 00:19:14,551
CROWD: Boo!
(PEOPLE BOOING)
372
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,164
Oh, man, the crowd
is turning on her.
373
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,356
I should probably
do something.
374
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,159
Get your half-price
Jessie merchandise!
375
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,591
Everything must go!
376
00:19:26,796 --> 00:19:30,536
Tony, I'm sorry
I let my ambition
get the better of me.
377
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:31,800
You're an amazing boyfriend.
378
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,901
Oh, boo! No such thing!
379
00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:36,553
And maybe
it's not very poetic,
380
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:38,446
but I really do love you
more than baloney.
381
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,593
That's beautiful.
382
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,255
And baloney
is the world's greatest
processed meat product.
383
00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:49,957
That's what I said!
384
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:51,789
No. No!
Jessie's a fraud!
385
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,561
She's just trying
to profit from our pain!
386
00:19:54,564 --> 00:19:56,574
We'd better hurry.
They can move pretty quick
in those sensible shoes.
387
00:19:56,566 --> 00:19:57,826
(WHISTLES)
Get 'em!
388
00:19:57,827 --> 00:20:00,327
(ALL YELLING)
389
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,530
(SWORDS CLASHING)
390
00:20:01,531 --> 00:20:02,271
(SCREAMING)
391
00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:06,582
(BOTH GRUNTING)
392
00:20:06,576 --> 00:20:07,506
Aha!
393
00:20:09,439 --> 00:20:12,379
Okay, brother.
You have proven your point.
394
00:20:12,382 --> 00:20:15,752
Quite literally,
I might add.
395
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,885
(SCOFFS) Ravi,
I didn't want it
to go down like this,
396
00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:19,687
but you were
out of control.
397
00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:24,449
I was just so excited
to finally have bested
the great Luke.
398
00:20:24,454 --> 00:20:27,934
Go ahead,
run me through
and claim your victory.
399
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:31,357
No. I should've
given you a chance
to prove yourself.
400
00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:33,561
You're actually
really good.
401
00:20:33,563 --> 00:20:34,633
Come on, man,
let's go home.
402
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,735
Ha! I win!
403
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,937
You see? Fencing is
more brains than brawn.
404
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,740
(VOCALIZING)
405
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:48,024
That was
sneaky, and dirty,
and underhanded.
406
00:20:49,479 --> 00:20:51,549
I've never been
prouder of you!
407
00:20:55,024 --> 00:21:00,034
So, Tony, this is
the song that I wanted
to write you all along.
408
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,789
It just took me a while
to find the right words.
409
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,773
This is called
The Best Year of My Life.
410
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,940
♪ Runnin' side by side
Hiding from the rain
411
00:21:13,943 --> 00:21:17,613
♪ Sharing all our fears
on the A train
412
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:22,547
♪ No destination
It's just you and me
413
00:21:24,554 --> 00:21:28,064
♪ Central Park after dark
never looked so bright
414
00:21:28,057 --> 00:21:31,757
♪ No room for wrong
'cause I found my Mr. Right
415
00:21:31,761 --> 00:21:36,071
♪ Couldn't ask
for anything better
416
00:21:37,467 --> 00:21:40,767
♪ It was the best year
417
00:21:40,770 --> 00:21:44,430
♪ It was the best year
418
00:21:44,434 --> 00:21:47,984
♪ Had my heart
right from the start
419
00:21:47,977 --> 00:21:51,477
♪ And it's still
my favorite part
420
00:21:51,481 --> 00:21:53,641
♪ Of the best year
421
00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:56,653
♪ 'Cause you were right here
422
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:02,088
♪ Every day and night knowing
423
00:22:02,091 --> 00:22:05,631
♪ That you were mine
was the best year of my life
424
00:22:07,757 --> 00:22:11,457
♪ Best year of my life ♪
425
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:12,731
(CROWD CHEERING)
426
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:16,344
(SWORDS CLASHING)
LUKE: Whoa!
427
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:19,435
You have incredible reach
for someone so short!
428
00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:23,769
RAVI: And you are very
calculating for someone
with such a tiny brain.
429
00:22:23,773 --> 00:22:26,583
Whoa!
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
430
00:22:28,678 --> 00:22:30,778
Jessie!
A little help?
431
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:34,120
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)
Doesn't look like
Mrs. K needs any help.
432
00:22:34,123 --> 00:22:35,863
Don't let them go until
they finish their homework.
433
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:36,925
(ROARS SOFTLY)
32221
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