Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:09,739
Good morning.
Good morning.
2
00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:17,047
Can I help you?
3
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:20,690
That depends.
4
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:24,021
Do you know
a five letter word
that means sorceress?
5
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,134
Huh?
Uh, that's
three letters.
6
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,598
You're not
very good at this.
7
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:33,031
For a stranger
who snuck into our
penthouse at 7:00 am,
8
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,643
you're pretty
judgmental.
9
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:39,366
I didn't sneak in.
I live in the building.
Tony let me up.
10
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:39,770
He said I
looked trustworthy.
11
00:00:42,773 --> 00:00:43,813
Tony thinks
the guy who sells
solid gold watches
12
00:00:43,814 --> 00:00:45,824
for ten bucks
is trustworthy.
13
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,280
I'm Stuart Wooten.
14
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,282
I'm in love with Zuri.
15
00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:55,786
Good luck with that.
16
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,090
Zuri, your friend's
here to play!
17
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:08,474
Ah, the beautiful
princess awakens
from her slumber,
18
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,299
brightening the earth
and all who inhabit it.
19
00:01:11,302 --> 00:01:12,302
Ugh!
20
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:17,654
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
21
00:01:17,648 --> 00:01:21,348
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
22
00:01:21,352 --> 00:01:24,822
♪ It feels like a party
every day
23
00:01:24,815 --> 00:01:28,615
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
24
00:01:28,619 --> 00:01:32,159
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
25
00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:35,473
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
26
00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:39,326
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
27
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:42,870
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
28
00:01:42,873 --> 00:01:46,713
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
29
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,837
♪ And I don't
want to let them
down, down, down
30
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,640
♪ Hey Jessie
31
00:01:53,444 --> 00:01:54,754
♪ Hey Jessie
32
00:01:57,188 --> 00:02:00,788
♪ It feels like a party
every day
33
00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:04,121
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
34
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,230
JESSIE: I don't care
if he annoys you!
35
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,502
You need to be
nice to him!
36
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,335
I'm sure they're not
talking about you.
37
00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:20,870
(LAUGHING POLITELY)
38
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:21,671
Sit.
39
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,354
Good morning, Zuri.
40
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:29,846
I was just speaking of
our enchanting encounter
in the lobby last week.
41
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,680
All I said was you had
toilet paper stuck
to your shoe.
42
00:02:34,925 --> 00:02:35,755
Yep, this guy's a catch.
43
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,829
Zuri, may your relationship
be as comfortable and strong
44
00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:44,642
as the two-ply T.P.
that stuck to Stuart's shoe.
45
00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:48,467
We're not in
a relationship.
46
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:49,669
I'm way
out of his league.
47
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:57,754
Zuri! A girl never says
something like that.
48
00:02:57,748 --> 00:02:58,778
We think it,
but we don't say it.
49
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,551
No, she's right.
50
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:05,263
But a guy can dream.
51
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:06,356
And I do!
52
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,219
Aww, that's sweet.
53
00:03:11,222 --> 00:03:13,592
Stuart, why don't you
come to the park
with Zuri and me?
54
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,934
I'd love to!
I'm gonna go get my
playground pants.
55
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,399
I can't believe
you did that.
56
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,802
It's on you if someone
"accidentally" tumbles
off the climbing wall.
57
00:03:27,638 --> 00:03:29,838
You guys coming?
We may need witnesses.
58
00:03:31,682 --> 00:03:33,412
No can do.
59
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,294
Ravi and I DVR'd
Mixed Martial Arts
Mania last night
60
00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:37,887
and we're going to
watch it in
the screening room.
61
00:03:37,888 --> 00:03:41,548
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Not so fast.
62
00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:43,822
Bertram and I are watching
a Couture Cooking
marathon in there.
63
00:03:44,455 --> 00:03:46,225
Huh.
64
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,256
I never thought I'd hear
the words "Bertram"
and "marathon"
65
00:03:48,259 --> 00:03:48,999
in the same sentence.
66
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,572
Guys, just figure out
a way to share
the screening room.
67
00:03:54,565 --> 00:03:56,565
Okay, we'll work out
a fair solution.
68
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:57,867
(CHUCKLES)
69
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,608
The big screen is ours!
70
00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:04,984
Hey, Tony!
Hey, Jessie!
71
00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:08,715
Stuart, will you
give me some space!
72
00:04:08,719 --> 00:04:10,679
I only need
one shadow.
73
00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:15,764
Your eyes
sparkle like the ocean.
74
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,326
My eyes are brown.
75
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,829
Your eyes sparkle like
the Hudson River.
76
00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:26,774
Guess what?
I made us
Tessie T-shirts.
77
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,897
Who's Tessie?
Us! Tony and Jessie.
78
00:04:31,902 --> 00:04:33,272
Ta-da!
79
00:04:35,846 --> 00:04:37,906
Wow, this is great!
80
00:04:37,908 --> 00:04:39,478
And you are
rocking those pearls!
81
00:04:42,553 --> 00:04:44,723
You gotta get me
the name of your
shirt guy.
82
00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:45,855
I can see it now...
83
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:47,788
Zoo-ert.
84
00:04:51,562 --> 00:04:52,862
Jessie, can I see
your phone?
85
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:54,633
Yeah.
86
00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:56,965
There's this great
new app for couples
like us.
87
00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:57,897
This way,
I can track you
wherever you go!
88
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:04,812
Why don't you just put
a chip in my neck?
89
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,375
Hey, Zuri,
can I see your
phone for a...
90
00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:06,837
No.
Okay.
91
00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:15,052
I'm so excited!
Three straight hours
of Couture Cooking
92
00:05:15,045 --> 00:05:16,615
and the finale is
finally here!
93
00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:22,589
Supermodels
sassily saute while they
sashay and flambe.
94
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:22,823
Yay!
Yay!
95
00:05:24,895 --> 00:05:28,695
That's it!
It is our turn to
watch MMA!
96
00:05:28,699 --> 00:05:30,799
Enough with your
stupid cooking show.
97
00:05:30,801 --> 00:05:33,801
All day we have
avoided finding out
who won the match
98
00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:36,844
so we could watch
on the big screen like
the gods intended!
99
00:05:39,570 --> 00:05:42,340
We can't wait one
more second to find
out who won!
100
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:43,943
Okay.
101
00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:49,517
"Bone Crusher" Flanigan
beat "Skull Smasher" Rodrigo
102
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:49,950
with a tap out
in the fifth round.
103
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,462
No!
104
00:05:56,427 --> 00:05:57,887
You ruined
the match for us!
105
00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:02,832
Not nice, Emma.
106
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:04,503
Funny.
But not nice.
107
00:06:10,401 --> 00:06:13,371
Jessie! I found out how
to get away from Stuart.
108
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,783
By playing Hide and Seek.
109
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,446
Three, four, five...
110
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,879
Now's our chance.
Let's run!
111
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:25,423
We can't.
I told Stuart's parents
I'd watch him.
112
00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:28,856
Besides, he knows
where we live.
113
00:06:28,859 --> 00:06:30,719
We'll find a new place
before he finishes counting.
114
00:06:30,721 --> 00:06:31,961
It's a buyer's market.
115
00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:38,166
(PANTING)
Need to
116
00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:39,898
ask you a question.
117
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,000
Geez, you're really
out of breath.
118
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,112
The building's not that far.
I've had longer
runs in my stockings.
119
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:49,575
I want to ask
if you would come to
a special dinner
120
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:52,010
at my family's
Italian restaurant
tomorrow night.
121
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,812
And you can
meet my parents!
122
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,924
Meet...
Meet your parents?
123
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,446
(HYPERVENTILATING)
124
00:07:02,693 --> 00:07:05,863
Whoa! You're out
of breath and you're
just standing there?
125
00:07:05,856 --> 00:07:07,496
We should get
a gym membership
together.
126
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:09,899
Twenty!
127
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,443
You're it!
You didn't hide
very well.
128
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,735
You must really
want me to find you.
129
00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:26,582
Stuart, I think we should
have a little chat
on top of the climbing wall.
130
00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:46,235
Howdy, neighbor!
131
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,768
Zuri, where did
this come from?
132
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,700
It was a gift from Stuart.
133
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:53,972
I figure, for as much
as he's bugging me,
134
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,784
I might as well get
a house out of it.
135
00:07:58,509 --> 00:08:01,009
Wow. I could
learn a thing or two
from you.
136
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:02,481
Yes. Yes, you could.
137
00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:06,915
You look like
something's on
your mind.
138
00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:08,187
Let's chat
in the kitchen.
139
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,488
Oh! That'd be great.
140
00:08:11,622 --> 00:08:13,022
Oh, you meant
your kitchen.
141
00:08:21,171 --> 00:08:22,531
Talk to me, sister.
142
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,584
Well, Tony is
an amazing guy,
143
00:08:25,576 --> 00:08:28,776
but first it was
the T-shirts,
144
00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:31,279
and then
the couples app,
145
00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,241
and now he wants me
to meet his parents!
146
00:08:33,243 --> 00:08:34,283
I'm not ready to
take such a big step.
147
00:08:34,284 --> 00:08:37,054
You need to relax.
148
00:08:37,047 --> 00:08:40,647
It's not like he's
asking you to
move in with him.
149
00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:43,691
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
150
00:08:43,694 --> 00:08:45,604
TONY: (OVER INTERCOM)
Hey, Jessie.
Will you come with me
151
00:08:45,596 --> 00:08:47,996
to look at
an apartment
that I found?
152
00:08:47,998 --> 00:08:50,298
I want to make sure
you love it before
I take that big step.
153
00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:52,702
I think.
I'm gonna.
Be sick.
154
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:56,814
I couldn't hear 'ya.
155
00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:57,907
ZURI: (OVER INTERCOM)
Not in the playhouse!
156
00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,638
Not in the playhouse!
157
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,875
Well, it took four hours,
but we've recreated
158
00:09:06,877 --> 00:09:11,077
the winning cake
from Couture Cooking.
159
00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:16,691
Hey, we just wanted to say
we totally forgive you guys
for ruining the MMA fight.
160
00:09:16,687 --> 00:09:19,327
Looking back,
shrieking that I wish
I could chop you up
161
00:09:19,329 --> 00:09:21,229
and feed you
to Mrs. Kipling
162
00:09:21,231 --> 00:09:24,701
might have been a slight
overreaction on my part.
163
00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:28,767
That's what you
said in Hindi?
164
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,999
I thought you were
ordering take-out.
165
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:31,771
No wonder the food's
not here yet.
166
00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:35,975
You might be
interested to know
167
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,576
we discovered a way
to view the match.
168
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,578
As long as
you're not watching it in
the screening room tonight.
169
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,691
We have the premiere of
Runways and Ravioli.
170
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,915
(WHISTLING)
171
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:51,057
Bone Crusher!
Skull Smasher!
172
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:51,991
(BERTRAM GASPS)
173
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,795
Who are these guys?
174
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,268
Duh. Bone Crusher
and Skull Smasher.
175
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:06,712
They are being paid to
recreate the bout
that you spoiled for us.
176
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,777
How much is
your allowance?
177
00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:11,980
The question you
should be asking
yourself is,
178
00:10:11,982 --> 00:10:13,342
(GASPS)
"Where's my wallet"?
179
00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:20,887
On your mark!
Get set! Mix it up!
180
00:10:20,891 --> 00:10:22,251
Oh! Watch the cake!
Watch the cake!
181
00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,902
Oh, I sure hope nothing
bad happens to it.
182
00:10:24,895 --> 00:10:29,155
Yes, it is awful
when something you care
deeply about is ruined.
183
00:10:35,806 --> 00:10:36,306
My cake!
184
00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:38,236
My dress!
185
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,372
It is true what
they say,
186
00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:46,154
revenge is sweet.
187
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,276
Ha-ha!
Ha-ha!
188
00:10:51,982 --> 00:10:54,282
Tony, are you sure
you want to go through
with this?
189
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:56,834
I mean, I thought
you loved living in your
mom's scrapbooking room.
190
00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:00,259
I think she
wants me gone.
191
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,390
This morning I woke up
and the words "Get out"
192
00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:04,332
was spelt in glitter
on my forehead.
193
00:11:12,302 --> 00:11:14,782
Pretty great, huh?
194
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,705
And only two thousand
bucks a month.
195
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,208
You'd think $2,000
would get you one window.
196
00:11:21,211 --> 00:11:21,911
Or less mold spores.
197
00:11:23,714 --> 00:11:24,864
Oh, I got a window.
198
00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:34,291
Ah! Really
opens up the place.
199
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,696
But your bed can't even
go all the way down.
200
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,068
The landlord said
it's actually good
201
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:42,030
to sleep with
your feet elevated.
202
00:11:42,032 --> 00:11:44,102
He says I could use
more blood flow
to my brain.
203
00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:48,876
And this neighborhood
is so dangerous!
204
00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:52,279
Nah. It's family-friendly.
205
00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:55,992
See, some kid drew
a chalk outline of a man at
the bottom of the air shaft.
206
00:12:02,753 --> 00:12:04,903
Tony, this is a bad idea.
207
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,425
No, it's not.
208
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,926
I've been thinking a lot
about my future,
209
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,929
and I'm ready to
start the next
phase of my life.
210
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,461
You want to start
the next phase of your life
211
00:12:12,462 --> 00:12:13,362
in a place where you can
flip an egg from the toilet?
212
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:17,406
Absolutely!
213
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:21,337
That's gonna be a real
time saver in the morning!
214
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,941
Or is it gonna be weird
when there's
two people living here?
215
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,124
(STAMMERING) Two people?
216
00:12:25,115 --> 00:12:27,475
Isn't this place
small enough?
217
00:12:27,477 --> 00:12:31,777
And the walls
seem to be closing in.
Can we go?
218
00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:33,922
Yeah, we should
get ready
for dinner anyhow.
219
00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:35,964
I can't wait for you
to meet my folks.
220
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,256
Trust me, this is going to
be a night to remember.
221
00:12:45,896 --> 00:12:47,136
(SCREAMING)
222
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,500
Hi, honey.
Welcome home!
223
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,543
How did you
get in here?
224
00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:54,984
I let him in.
225
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:01,377
Whoo-hoo!
You know I can't
stand Stuart.
226
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,011
I know,
that's why I did it.
227
00:13:09,219 --> 00:13:13,159
Stuart, get out!
I don't want you here!
228
00:13:13,163 --> 00:13:15,803
Sounds like someone
needs a foot massage.
229
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,966
I'll go get my oils.
230
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:24,301
(GROANING)
231
00:13:28,578 --> 00:13:29,938
Men.
232
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:31,040
Boys.
233
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,211
Tell me about it.
234
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,394
I'm pretty sure
Tony wants me to
move in with him.
235
00:13:36,386 --> 00:13:38,916
And, I'm meeting
his parents tonight!
236
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,249
I know just how you feel.
237
00:13:41,251 --> 00:13:43,591
Stuart invited me to
meet his turtles.
238
00:13:43,593 --> 00:13:45,363
And they're both
named Zuri!
239
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,327
Plus, Tony said
this would be,
"A night to remember."
240
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,529
Do you think
he's gonna propose?
241
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,060
Why wouldn't he?
242
00:13:53,063 --> 00:13:54,033
Ugh! If only I weren't
so charming and cute!
243
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:59,436
I share the same burden.
Dimples are a curse.
244
00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:05,151
Wait. Just in case,
you're coming to dinner
with me tonight.
245
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,475
He'd never ask me to
marry him with a little
kid hanging around.
246
00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:11,149
Make that
two little kids!
247
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,321
A double date is
a great idea.
248
00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:16,093
Zuri and I need
some couple friends.
249
00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:17,256
No, we don't.
250
00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:21,229
I have to go put on
my dinner pants.
251
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,874
He was here
the whole time?
252
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,135
It's unbelievable, right?
253
00:14:28,138 --> 00:14:30,068
I had an easier time
getting rid of lice.
254
00:14:36,947 --> 00:14:41,477
Boys, we have a
surprise for you!
255
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:45,161
Whatever you have
planned for us,
just know we're armed.
256
00:14:45,155 --> 00:14:48,285
Yes.
I have a water balloon
filled with permanent ink,
257
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,418
and I am not
afraid to use it.
258
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,890
(POPPING)
259
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,332
(STAMMERING IN DISBELIEF)
260
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,526
(LAUGHING)
261
00:14:58,528 --> 00:15:00,498
Wrong target,
but just as funny.
262
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,032
Idiots.
263
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:09,135
Look, Bertram and I
are willing to give you
264
00:15:09,139 --> 00:15:11,309
first dibs on
the screening room
from now on,
265
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,941
if you stop
messing with us.
266
00:15:12,943 --> 00:15:14,613
BERTRAM: You just have to
sign a peace treaty
267
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,094
that we've put out
on the terrace.
268
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:17,316
Never!
269
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,917
I set up a buffet.
270
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,548
Dude, why didn't you
just lead with that?
271
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,098
Hey, it's cold out here!
272
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:35,243
I built you a fire,
273
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,065
but that was mostly
so you couldn't
crawl back through.
274
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,607
(BOTH LAUGHING)
275
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,711
(EXCLAIMING IN SURPRISE)
276
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,016
Ow! You're crushing me!
277
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:55,130
We knew you'd head
towards the screening room,
right into our booby-trap!
278
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,585
Who are the idiots now?
279
00:15:58,488 --> 00:16:00,688
Uh, I think it is a tie.
280
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,230
Because now
there is no one
to let us back in!
281
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:06,973
And I am colder than
a Himalayan mountain
goat's tootsies.
282
00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:10,467
Me, too.
283
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,240
But the sight of
Bertram's butt in
Emma's face
284
00:16:12,242 --> 00:16:13,702
makes me feel all
warm and fuzzy.
285
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,678
Oh! Oh, Tony,
this is great!
286
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,679
Very family friendly.
287
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,181
Not romantic at all.
288
00:16:25,155 --> 00:16:28,615
Tony, is this you
opening the door?
289
00:16:28,618 --> 00:16:31,658
Yep, this is where
I got my start.
290
00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:33,461
I still got those
training epaulets.
291
00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:38,165
Maybe someday
I'll pass them on
to my son.
292
00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:41,529
Okey-dokey.
Let's get our grub on!
293
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:45,583
There's my bambino!
294
00:16:45,575 --> 00:16:47,075
Hey!
295
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,741
You must be Jessie.
296
00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:55,493
I'm Carmella.
And this is my
husband, Angelo.
297
00:16:55,485 --> 00:16:58,145
But when you're here,
call us Mama and Papa.
298
00:16:58,148 --> 00:16:59,548
It'll be fun!
299
00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,149
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
So fun!
300
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,221
Ah!
Ah!
301
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,393
Ah!
302
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:11,459
Ow!
303
00:17:11,461 --> 00:17:12,531
Totally worth it.
304
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,314
(ALL CHUCKLING)
305
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,409
Tony, is this
your grandfather?
306
00:17:22,212 --> 00:17:23,672
Nope.
307
00:17:23,673 --> 00:17:24,043
Never seen
that guy before.
308
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:27,176
Come on, let's eat.
Come on.
309
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,663
Those are all relatives.
310
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:40,726
It's a Chicolini family
tradition to propose
in this restaurant.
311
00:17:40,730 --> 00:17:43,230
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Really?
312
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:48,273
My family has a tradition
to never accept a proposal
in an Italian restaurant.
313
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:51,340
That's a weird coincidence.
314
00:17:54,544 --> 00:17:56,354
Lean!
315
00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:00,148
A little harder.
(GRUNTING)
316
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,611
I got it!
317
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,512
Okay, great.
Now cut us down!
318
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,715
With cheese?
319
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,359
You were supposed
to grab the scissors!
320
00:18:13,123 --> 00:18:15,173
Sorry. I figured we'd
be here a while.
321
00:18:17,727 --> 00:18:21,367
Jessie,
someone really wants
to meet you.
322
00:18:21,371 --> 00:18:24,671
This is
Tony's grandmother, Elda.
323
00:18:24,674 --> 00:18:25,714
(WITH MOUTH FULL)
Very nice to meet you.
324
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,577
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
325
00:18:29,579 --> 00:18:31,109
Elda says you eat
like a toddler,
326
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,710
but she's willing to
overlook it because
327
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,712
you have excellent
child-bearing hips.
328
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,824
Check!
329
00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:39,386
Will you all excuse us?
330
00:18:39,389 --> 00:18:40,749
Zuri and I need to
use the ladies' room.
331
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,850
But I don't
have to go...
332
00:18:42,852 --> 00:18:44,322
Well, then,
why don't you
wash your hands.
333
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,264
You've been eating
that greasy squid!
334
00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:45,325
That was squid?
335
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,729
Listen, Zuri.
We have to
get out of here
336
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,131
before Tony
has a chance
to propose!
337
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,562
Can you pretend
to be sick?
338
00:18:54,564 --> 00:18:57,344
Being out with Stuart,
I won't need to pretend.
339
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,207
I've been holding back
my barf all night.
340
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:02,840
Good. I might ask
you to let it rip.
341
00:19:05,615 --> 00:19:08,215
Hey, guys, bad news.
Zuri isn't feeling too...
342
00:19:08,218 --> 00:19:10,778
(GASPS)
Ooh! Tiramisu!
343
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,250
Hand me
a big girl fork!
344
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,934
(WHIMPERING)
345
00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:20,226
Ravi, if you really
have to pee that bad,
just go in the plant.
346
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,191
Forgive me, ficus!
347
00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:26,595
(ZIPPER UNZIPS)
348
00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:27,366
RAVI: Ah!
349
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,297
(SCREAMS)
350
00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:31,899
Oh, and don't aim
into the wind.
351
00:19:32,802 --> 00:19:32,942
RAVI: Now you tell me.
352
00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:38,306
Okay, guys,
finish up
your desserts.
353
00:19:38,308 --> 00:19:39,648
We really should be
going before...
354
00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:44,309
No, no, no,
no, no, no!
355
00:19:44,314 --> 00:19:46,524
Hey, where'd this ring
come from?
356
00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:47,916
Tony, don't be coy!
357
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:52,217
Look, you are amazing,
and I really like you,
358
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,392
but if you think this
is happening,
359
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,274
you're a few meatballs
short of a Chicolini
Bottomless Spaghetti Plate!
360
00:19:57,427 --> 00:19:59,197
What are you saying?
361
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,668
Maybe I can shed
some light on this
situation...
362
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:01,900
Not now, Stuart!
Okay.
363
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,284
Tony, what I'm saying
is that
364
00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,406
I am extremely flattered,
365
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,708
but, no,
my answer is no.
366
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,340
I cannot marry you, Tony.
367
00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:13,782
What?
368
00:20:13,783 --> 00:20:15,213
Jessie, I really think
you want to hear that...
369
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,324
Stuart!
Grown-up talk!
370
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,547
But that's my ring!
371
00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:21,219
Zuri's ring, actually.
372
00:20:24,554 --> 00:20:26,864
It's a promise ring
I got for you.
373
00:20:26,856 --> 00:20:29,396
Aww, Stuart...
374
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:32,359
Okay, I'll take the ring,
but I'm not
promising anything.
375
00:20:34,804 --> 00:20:36,714
You thought I
was proposing?
376
00:20:36,706 --> 00:20:39,466
Of course!
You said this would be
"a night to remember."
377
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,369
Sure, because I knew
we could get a free meal!
378
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,912
And you wanted to
share your apartment!
379
00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:46,784
It's 2,000 bucks a month!
380
00:20:46,776 --> 00:20:48,846
I'm gonna split it
with my cousin,
Dominic!
381
00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:56,531
He has
more square footage
than your apartment.
382
00:20:56,526 --> 00:20:59,886
Listen, Jessie,
you're the greatest
girl ever,
383
00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:03,429
but I don't want to get
married for years and
years and years and...
384
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:04,293
Whoa!
385
00:21:05,435 --> 00:21:07,595
Let me get this straight.
386
00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:10,497
I'm just supposed to
just wait around
in my Tessie T-shirt
387
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,900
for years and years
and years,
388
00:21:12,902 --> 00:21:15,382
until you are ready to
make a commitment?
389
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,945
Quick.
Get all the knives
off the table.
390
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,710
You guys heard all that?
391
00:21:21,711 --> 00:21:22,911
All of Brooklyn heard it.
392
00:21:22,912 --> 00:21:24,482
Elda's webcasting it.
393
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,390
I still can't believe
I did that.
394
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,374
I can't imagine
what Tony must be
thinking.
395
00:21:37,367 --> 00:21:39,327
He's probably thinking
how he's gonna get his
cousin Dominic
396
00:21:39,329 --> 00:21:41,499
up four flights of stairs.
397
00:21:43,373 --> 00:21:44,973
I am having
the worst night ever!
398
00:21:47,937 --> 00:21:48,937
(SCOFFS IN DISBELIEF)
399
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,442
Maybe the second worst.
400
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,885
Help us!
Let us in!
401
00:21:57,887 --> 00:21:58,947
Cut us down!
402
00:21:58,948 --> 00:22:01,648
I really need
to wash my hands!
403
00:22:04,654 --> 00:22:05,964
Do you know
what this means?
404
00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:07,555
We're surrounded
by nitwits?
405
00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:12,959
Yes, but also,
the screening room
is free!
406
00:22:12,962 --> 00:22:14,432
I can finally watch
that Channing Tatum movie!
407
00:22:18,508 --> 00:22:19,838
(TEETH CHATTERING)
408
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,353
Thank you.
409
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,745
EMMA:
Zuri, hurry.
410
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,480
Sit tight.
411
00:22:32,482 --> 00:22:34,082
It takes me an hour
to cut a piece of paper
with these babies,
412
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:36,093
so this could take a while.
30132
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
