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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
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Attention, everyone, this meeting of
the Reptile Club will come to order.
3
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,556
Uh, Ravi? We need to talk.
4
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:16,808
(Clicking)
5
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,559
Uh, can it wait?
6
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,560
Glenda, the Gecko, is about
to go over the minutes.
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,981
Ever since the school
Reptile Club disbanded,
8
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,817
you've been acting a little strange.
9
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It did not disband.
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,656
The principal shut us down
11
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,659
for losing an unacceptable
number of snakes in the library.
12
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,576
One is unacceptable.
13
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:36,912
(Gasps) Ew! What's that?
14
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,748
Oh! Mrs. Kipling was kind
enough to bring the refreshments.
15
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,919
They are cute and nutritious.
16
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,006
Mm. Please tell me you're not
gonna try one of those on a cracker.
17
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:53,928
Okay, look, Ravi, I think it's
time you made some new friends.
18
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,766
You know, ones that are
warm-blooded and alive.
19
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,935
That is what the principal said.
20
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:04,606
Right before he screamed
for the anti-venom.
21
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,775
Good thing I always
pack that in your lunch.
22
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:08,943
Anyway, I found this group you might like.
23
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,695
It's called The Intelligentsia Club.
24
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,614
Oh, I know what Intelligentsia is.
25
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,532
A group for people with genius IQs,
26
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,784
who do not wish to
associate with numbskulls.
27
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,787
Hey, just 'cause someone isn't a
genius, doesn't make 'em a numbskull.
28
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:24,625
Actually, according to theories of
phrenology, diminished cranial sensitivity
29
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,962
is directly related to stupidity.
30
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Yeah, you're gonna fit right in.
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
32
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:38,639
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
33
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,810
♪ It feels like a party every day
34
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:45,646
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
35
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,983
♪ But they keep on
pulling me every which way
36
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:52,653
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
37
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,991
♪ My whole world is
changing Turning around
38
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,827
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking the ground
39
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,581
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
40
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:07,502
♪ And I don't want to
let them down, down, down
41
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,837
♪ Hey Jessie
42
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,758
♪ Hey Jessie
43
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,845
♪ It feels like a party every day
44
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,599
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
45
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,525
Hey, Bertram!
46
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:33,861
I've, uh, got some fun plans today, if
you're looking for something to do.
47
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,531
I'm not.
48
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:38,534
To me, doing something is a
distant second to doing nothing.
49
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,621
There's a collectible show in the park.
50
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,706
I've been looking for a
Mickey Mantle rookie card,
51
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,543
and I bet they'll have lots
of other cool stuff, too.
52
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,628
Ooh! You think they'll have cuckoo clocks?
53
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:50,963
Uh...
54
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,799
Would it be a collectibles
show if they didn't?
55
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,634
Good point! I'll go get
my collecting gloves.
56
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,554
Oh! You mean the ones
with the orange stains?
57
00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,972
Sometimes I collect cheese puffs.
58
00:03:05,258 --> 00:03:06,978
Hey, Emma. Oh, you left
your wallet at home.
59
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,564
Oh.
60
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,482
Wow, that's a fancy ring to wear to work.
61
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,816
Oh, this old thing?
62
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,297
It's just my burger-flipping diamond.
63
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,488
Jessie, look!
64
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,575
It is the international
crossword puzzle champ!
65
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,994
You did not tell me there
would be celebrities here!
66
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:24,746
That's 'cause there aren't.
67
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,748
Wow!
68
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,109
Crossword puzzles aren't the
only thing filled with squares.
69
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,921
Hey, did I hear you guys
talking about crosswords?
70
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,591
I was front row at that championship match.
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00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:40,596
(Scoffs) Lucky! I had to listen
to it on wide world of nerds.
72
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,014
Wasn't it amazing when he won
73
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,767
with that four letter word
for a Middle Eastern goat?
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00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,853
Both: Ibex!
75
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,604
Which school do you attend?
76
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:52,607
NYU Medical. I'm
specializing in Psychiatry.
77
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,611
So, you are the world's youngest Jungian?
78
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,529
I'm a-Freud, I am.
79
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,031
(Both laughing)
80
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:01,867
Wow!
81
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,871
Well, I'll let you two get
your geek on. (Chuckles)
82
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,624
I'll pick you up at three.
83
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,543
Oh, hi. Oh, hi.
84
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,546
I'm Scott. Are you here for
the Intelligentsia meeting?
85
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,466
You betcha! I mean, indubitably.
86
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,469
So, what's your IQ?
87
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,721
Or should I wait to ask
you that on our first date?
88
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,639
Are we going on a date?
89
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,643
Is any fraction with zero
as its denominator undefined?
90
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,894
Yes?
91
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,480
Great! Good!
92
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,565
How about tonight?
93
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:36,734
Sure! Yeah. I can always translate
The Odyssey into Greek tomorrow.
94
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,819
Uh, the original is in Greek.
95
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,822
I knew that. I was just testing you.
96
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,991
Pass!
97
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,663
Madeline, welcome.
98
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,832
I am so happy Ravi made a friend.
99
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:53,919
I mean, so happy! So, so, so, so...
100
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,672
Okay, Jessie!
101
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,591
I think we are good.
102
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:02,678
Will you be joining us for a
round of Advanced Aztec Trivia?
103
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,763
Gee, I wish I could.
104
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,850
But I've got to go find
an outfit and double my IQ
105
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:10,519
before my date with Buff 'N Brainy!
106
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:16,524
Oh, Zuri, meet Madeline, my new friend.
107
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,776
New friend?
108
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,863
Whatever Jessie is paying
you, she should double it.
109
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,534
Do you not have some inane
country music to listen to?
110
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,620
You're a country fan? Me, too!
111
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:31,622
Next to Power Ponies,
it's my favorite thing ever!
112
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,543
I love power ponies! (Both screaming)
113
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,797
What is happening?
114
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,883
Wanna watch Power Ponies
season three with bloopers?
115
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,719
Stardust keeps forgetting her lines.
116
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,721
Uh, hello?
117
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:49,725
Madeline and I were about to
go over calculus flashcards.
118
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,643
Don't you think she's a little
too young to be your friend?
119
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,897
No, she is my intellectual equal!
120
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,565
And I am sure she'll prefer higher math
121
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,651
to a mind-numbing spree of equine comedy.
122
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,656
Ravi, I do love those formulas, but
I'm also a card-carrying Pony Pal.
123
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,909
Be right back. Promise.
124
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,911
(Sighs) I rue the day those ponies
125
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,788
received their powers from
the magical rainbow crystal.
126
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,500
Curses! I have become what I despise!
127
00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,796
(Chuckles)
128
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,674
Hey, this is all sports stuff!
129
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,593
You know I hate sports!
130
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,596
I'm sure you can find
something you like here.
131
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,514
You collect everything.
132
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,767
That's not true. I'm very selective.
133
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,603
You need a snowplow to get to your bed.
134
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,773
Yeah, luckily, I've got one in my closet.
135
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,691
Just can't get to it.
136
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:43,778
Look, Bertram, I just want
you to have a good time, okay?
137
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:44,979
That's why I brought you here.
138
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,865
Or is it because of that sign that says
139
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,951
"Minors must be accompanied by an adult"?
140
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:51,954
What?
141
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:57,543
I did not read that on the website at all.
142
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,465
It was kind of you to placate Zuri.
143
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:07,553
It must have been tiresome to
sit through that animated swill.
144
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,555
Actually, I really like Power Ponies.
145
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:10,806
Zuri has cooties.
146
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:17,562
Anyhoo, first trivia question.
147
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,730
This reptilian snake... Quetzalcoatl!
148
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,568
Correct. And now some hard ones.
149
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,653
Oh, hey, I'm Emma.
150
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,989
Oh, hi!
151
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,824
You're that pretty girl who wore
that gorgeous ring to work today!
152
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,910
Aw! Back off. She is my friend.
153
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,581
I will get some more challenging questions.
154
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,666
I could answer these
when I was in Pull-Ups.
155
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,669
Please, do not tell
her how recent that was.
156
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,840
That's a beautiful necklace you're wearing.
157
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:48,844
Oh, this is just my
reality-show watching ruby.
158
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,013
You should see the diamond
I wear for awards shows.
159
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:53,682
It weighs more than Ravi.
160
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,769
Ooh, I'd love to see that!
161
00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,688
Okay, BRB with the bling!
162
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,946
Hey, everything's going great.
163
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,825
The nanny's gone, and the kids
are right where we want 'em.
164
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,869
We're gonna clean out this cushy crib.
165
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,714
I'm bored. I wanna go home!
166
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,758
Okay, I'm, I'm sure we
can find you something.
167
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,677
Hey, Bertram, look...
168
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,888
(Chuckles) A wrestling belt!
169
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,681
You like wrestling, right?
170
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:35,974
Don't like that. It's stupid.
171
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,729
Fine, let's just move on.
172
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,939
Ow! You're mean!
173
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,024
(Sobbing)
174
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,026
(Shushing)
175
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:47,694
(Groans)
176
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,906
He gets like this when
he hasn't had his nap.
177
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:54,910
Okay, if I get you cotton
candy, will you please behave?
178
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,745
Only if it's blue.
179
00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,164
(Groans)
180
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,966
Ooh, that one must have cost a fortune!
181
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,134
Yep. Almost a whole week's allowance.
182
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,847
Emma, you stole my friend!
183
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,056
Did not!
184
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,642
The irony here is that
you both stole her from me!
185
00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,853
More like saved her from death by boredom.
186
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,146
Guys, don't fight!
187
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,983
Look, I have an idea.
188
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:30,028
In my psychiatric research, I discovered
a new type of family therapy.
189
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,988
It's rather intense, but it works.
190
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:36,743
It's called Handcuff Therapy.
191
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,874
Unless those are sterling silver,
they're not going on my wrists.
192
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,668
I'm telling you, this is very effective.
193
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,003
Now, everyone, sit down with
your backs to each other.
194
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,755
Why? Just trust me.
195
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,009
No, I trust you, but the last
time I turned my back on Zuri
196
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,761
she affixed a "Kick Me"
placard to my posterior.
197
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,016
Did not! I stuck it on your butt!
198
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,143
See, you guys need this.
199
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:04,897
Studies find when you connect
yourself with someone physically,
200
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,984
you feel more connected emotionally,
and are forced to resolve conflict.
201
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,944
Does this really solve problems?
202
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,034
It's gonna solve my cash-flow problem.
203
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:21,997
I don't understand.
204
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,000
I'm robbing you.
205
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,088
Is this part of the therapy?
206
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,884
How do you even dress yourself?
207
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,011
She conned us!
208
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,889
Madeline, I thought we were friends.
209
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,725
We had so much in common.
210
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,894
The crossword champ, the astrolabes...
211
00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:47,940
(Gasps) I flashed my cards for you!
212
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,108
Sorry, nerd, it's just business.
213
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,781
(Both laughing)
214
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,075
So, do you only go out
with fellow geniuses,
215
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,076
or do you date outside of your percentile?
216
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,162
Oh, I date all kinds of guys.
217
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:05,081
Yeah, smart ones, dumb ones.
218
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,042
Lots of dumb ones.
219
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,795
They must've been fools if they let you go.
220
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,922
Oh! Scott, that's so sweet!
221
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,757
Do you have any flaws?
222
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,177
I mean, cologne abuse,
unbearable karaoke choices,
223
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,721
shared custody of a hamster with your ex?
224
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,933
No. Who does those things?
225
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,101
No one I've dated.
226
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,770
Come on, you must have some flaw.
227
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,857
Not really. I'm just a normal guy.
228
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,817
(Screams) Spider!
229
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,862
And, there it is.
230
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,739
Sorry, it's just that I have a
little phobia when it comes to...
231
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,199
OMG, it's on the pizza!
232
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,786
That's a mushroom.
233
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:49,126
Okay, okay, but just in case, could
you please put your napkin over it?
234
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,086
You know, I think this is the time
235
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:53,839
when I usually go to the
bathroom, and never come back.
236
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:57,133
Wa... Wait, stay! I'll be fine, I promi...
237
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,218
Did you see that?
238
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,887
The napkin moved!
239
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,806
Okay, we're done here.
240
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:06,059
No, wait! No, thank you!
241
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:17,946
Okay, now can we go look
at the baseball cards?
242
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:20,157
Right after we get a banana shake.
243
00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:23,160
No! You've already had cotton candy,
244
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:26,163
a balloon, and you got
to be a big, scary tiger.
245
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,751
Now it's time to do what I want!
246
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:34,755
Forget it. You only used me
'cause you needed an adult.
247
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,131
I want a 'nana shake!
248
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,008
I want a 'nana shake!
249
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,927
I want a 'nana shake!
250
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,929
(Whining)
251
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,180
Okay, I give up!
252
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,893
I've been looking for this Mickey
Mantle rookie card for years.
253
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:51,855
And I thought you, as a collector, would
understand how important that was.
254
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,859
But since you're not having
fun, let's just go home.
255
00:12:57,903 --> 00:13:01,907
Fine. I guess we can go look for your card.
256
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,159
But you're not gonna
find any bargains here.
257
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:07,871
(Scoffs) Let me guess, all the
good deals are by the pony rides?
258
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:13,085
No, I'm only telling you to
avoid the tables up front.
259
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,878
These guys are pros.
260
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,881
All their stuff is way overpriced.
261
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,174
Well, it is. Just own it.
262
00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:23,190
So where am I supposed to look?
263
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,888
In the back.
264
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:28,809
You want a disorganized table manned
by someone who doesn't know or care
265
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,893
what they have for sale.
266
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,104
They just wanna unload it and go home.
267
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,731
But I can't dig through
all that stuff by myself.
268
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,900
It would take forever.
269
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:37,985
Let's do this.
270
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:39,987
Oh, thanks, Bertram!
271
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,196
Hey, up top!
272
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,031
Not until I get my 'nana shake.
273
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:48,745
(Elevator dings)
274
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,079
All: Jessie, help!
275
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,917
Guys, I told you, when Luke gets out
his magic kit, just leave the room.
276
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,752
It wasn't Luke.
277
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,922
It's Madeline! She's a thief!
278
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,759
Hey, Nanny McDweeb, you're back early.
279
00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,013
Wait! You're a thief?
280
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:09,683
I thought you were a tiny psychiatrist.
281
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:13,103
If you cannot trust a strange kid you
pick up in the park, who can you trust?
282
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,813
(Elevator dings)
283
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:15,981
Jessie!
284
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,983
Scott, I already told you it's over.
285
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:21,777
But before you leave, could you
please call the police and tell them
286
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:22,905
this horrible little girl is robbing us.
287
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,823
Oh, that horrible little girl is my sister.
288
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,033
What? No!
289
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,950
(Grunts) I work with her.
290
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,786
For her! Oh!
291
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,789
And that's for calling me horrible!
292
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,750
Jessie started it! Wait! No! Okay!
293
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,169
Ow! (Grunts)
294
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:41,757
Wait, so you lied to me, took my family
hostage, and now you're robbing us?
295
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:42,758
Kinda.
296
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,010
Still not my worst date.
297
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,602
When I asked you if you had any flaws,
298
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:56,605
why didn't you mention that
you're a liar and a thief?
299
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,087
Duh, because I'm a liar and a thief.
300
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,776
Cram it, Scott!
301
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,444
Get upstairs and grab the heavy stuff.
302
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,780
Can you try not to mess that up?
303
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,450
Please don't yell at me
in front of the captives!
304
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,494
I am so telling Mom how
you almost blew this.
305
00:15:10,536 --> 00:15:11,787
You're off the Vegas job!
306
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,623
I love Vegas!
307
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,669
Okay, we're gonna push our backs together,
308
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,546
stand up and move across to the elevator.
309
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,712
Ready? Go!
310
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,382
(All grunting)
311
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,801
Okay, come on! Use your cores!
312
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:27,718
I have no core!
313
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,596
Leave me! Save yourselves!
314
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,806
(PANTS)
315
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:32,599
Don't you think we would if we could?
316
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,770
Okay, Plan B. We
butt-scoot across the floor.
317
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,729
Ready, go! (All grunting)
318
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,650
Ow! Someone scooted on my hand!
319
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,527
I... I think it is broken.
320
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,780
It's not our fault you have the
bones of a 95-year-old woman.
321
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,907
Drink some milk!
322
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,826
(Grunts)
323
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,828
Zuri, slow down, you're pulling my wrist!
324
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:56,582
And it's turning green
from these cheap cuffs.
325
00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:00,460
Wow, you guys act like you've never
been handcuffed and robbed before!
326
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,902
What? The drill team state championship
was in a very dodgy part of Houston.
327
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:11,513
A mint condition Mickey Mantle
rookie card for 50 bucks!
328
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:12,763
This is awesome!
329
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:16,602
All because a guy left his bitter ex-wife
three storage units to clean out.
330
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,645
(Both laughing)
331
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,773
Hey, uh, I'm sorry I tricked you, Bertram.
332
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,608
Today was actually really cool.
333
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,863
Hanging out as friends, instead
of, you know, master and servant.
334
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,574
How kind of you, sire.
335
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:33,784
I had fun, too.
336
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,621
Teaching a child how to
sift through the possessions
337
00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:40,459
of a co-dependent feuding couple,
it's what life's all about.
338
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:46,423
Oh, uh, by the way, I got
you a little something.
339
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,798
What? (Gasps)
340
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,635
A cuckoo clock? You found one!
341
00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:53,639
Yeah. It's a Derek Jeter
limited edition cuckoo clock.
342
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,767
They're very rare. And very weird.
343
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,685
(Recorded voice) Jeter! Jeter! Jeter!
344
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,478
(LAUGHS) I love it!
345
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:01,688
Thank you, Luke.
346
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,732
Aw! (Chuckles)
347
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,359
Let's never speak of this again.
348
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,485
Wasn't planning to.
349
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,489
Guys, we gotta sync up our tushes.
350
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:15,536
Ready? Scoot! Scoot! Shoot!
351
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,371
Where do you guys think you're going?
352
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,831
Nowhere! Just taking a
little scoot around the room.
353
00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:22,793
Captivity is no reason to quit exercising!
354
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:25,587
Tell that to the chunky lizard upstairs.
355
00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:28,423
(Gasps) Mrs. Kipling is not chunky.
356
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,716
She is just big scaled!
357
00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,637
Dude, get some human friends.
358
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:38,850
I was trying to! With you!
359
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,686
And how's that working out for ya?
360
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:45,482
How did you meet that Madeline anyway?
361
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:47,693
At a mixer Jessie forced me to attend.
362
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,820
Another epic nanny fail.
363
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:51,864
Uh, I'm right here!
364
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,449
So, this was all Jessie's fault?
365
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,868
What else is new?
366
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,704
Okay, that's it. I've had enough!
367
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,832
The entire Ross family has
treated me like garbage for years.
368
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:04,668
You should've seen how we
treated nannies one through ten.
369
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:10,841
I work seven days a week making
sure four incredibly spoiled kids
370
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:12,759
don't rip each other apart,
371
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:15,846
I get paid bupkis, and no one
ever bothers to say, "Thank you!"
372
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,514
All: Thank you?
373
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:22,519
Now you guys have the nerve to blame
me for what's happening here?
374
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:23,854
It's payback time.
375
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:26,773
Guys, I wanna join your team.
376
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,525
All: What the what?
377
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,403
I can give you all their credit cards,
378
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,738
PIN-numbers, and the
combination to the safe
379
00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:36,658
hidden behind that obnoxious family
portrait in the master bedroom.
380
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,786
You said our matching Christmas
sweaters were adorable!
381
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:42,580
I lied.
382
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:45,459
The combination is 0-3-24-01.
383
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:46,668
(Zuri, Emma and Ravi gasp)
384
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,420
Ooh, those numbers are my birthday.
385
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,590
I guess we know who
Mrs. Mommy's favorite is.
386
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,637
And there's a lot more
stuff hidden around here.
387
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,597
Let me go, and we can
split the haul three ways.
388
00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,765
Sounds good to me!
389
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,432
Me, too!
390
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,602
You're cold, vicious, and heartless!
391
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,562
You're the big sister I always wanted.
392
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:07,731
(Elevator dings)
393
00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:09,525
Oh.
394
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,610
Hey guys, we found some amazing stuff!
395
00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:13,487
It's worth a fortune! Yeah.
396
00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:15,614
Great! Wanna see a trick?
397
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:16,782
She's gone rogue! Call the cops!
398
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,449
No, call the cops! She's robbing us!
399
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,410
Guys, keep it down!
400
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:21,745
Jessie's gonna show me a trick.
401
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,542
Hey! No! My Mickey Mantle card is in there!
402
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,377
Don't take my cuckoo clock!
403
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,545
(Sobbing)
404
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,795
The big one's really annoying.
405
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:33,674
No wonder she wants out!
406
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,425
Mom is gonna love you.
407
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,596
All right, let's lock these
guys out on the terrace
408
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:41,473
so they don't get any bright ideas.
409
00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:43,809
I begged your parents to
screen her more carefully.
410
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:46,478
(All gasping)
411
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,646
(Sobbing)
412
00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:50,816
Come on, go over there!
413
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,568
Yeah. Oh, oh.
414
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,653
Do you have a plan?
415
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,573
No, I just wanna sit. Ah.
416
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,657
I can't believe Jessie really turned on us.
417
00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:00,825
Oh, she's gotta be faking it.
418
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:05,581
If she's that good at faking it, seems
like she would book more acting jobs.
419
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:08,876
Luke is right. Our beloved
Jessie would never betray us.
420
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:13,422
That traitorous she-devil!
421
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,549
You could knock me over with a feather.
422
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:16,800
We know. We have.
423
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:20,845
Told you guys I'd hook you up.
424
00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,431
And you did.
425
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:25,684
Sorry I pegged you for a goody
two shoes, old maid, brat-tamer.
426
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,480
She's not that old.
427
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:33,082
You guys must have been voted
most popular kids in reform school.
428
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,903
He should have been voted the laziest.
429
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:39,489
Would it have killed you to
pick up a flat screen or two?
430
00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:44,535
Hey, Scott's doing his best.
431
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:47,539
Which is why I picked up
something especially for him.
432
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,832
You did? Yeah.
433
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,875
(Screaming) Spiders!
434
00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:52,544
Get 'em away from me!
435
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:53,712
Not until the cops come!
436
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:55,880
Get off me, you big dummy!
437
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:58,509
(Screaming)
438
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:02,721
I am so embarrassed to be related to you.
439
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:08,852
Who could have predicted Jessie
would turn out to be so treacherous?
440
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,728
I should have seen it coming.
441
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:13,564
All those times she shut
me down when I hit on her.
442
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:16,610
When we get married, that's
gonna get really annoying.
443
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,904
You're still hanging on to that?
444
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:22,448
She just chained us up and robbed us!
445
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,659
I wish she had cut me in.
446
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,703
I mean, shame on her!
447
00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:29,748
Worst nanny ever.
448
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:32,668
Guys, it's all over!
449
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:35,796
The night doorman called the cops, and
they detained those creeps downstairs.
450
00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:37,464
All: They did?
451
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,508
Yeah, it was so easy for me to trick them.
452
00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:42,553
Can you believe they bought that
garbage about me turning on you guys?
453
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:43,595
No. No.
454
00:21:43,637 --> 00:21:45,764
Sure can't. No way!
455
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,599
You all thought I turned
on you, didn't you?
456
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,600
Like a pit bull with mood swings.
457
00:21:53,584 --> 00:21:56,879
I had fun tonight, Jessie!
458
00:21:56,932 --> 00:21:58,851
Yeah, we should do
this again in three to five.
459
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,858
Oh, uh, Madeline, I forgive
you, so let us be the
460
00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:05,580
best of pen pals while you
are at the reformatory.
461
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:09,000
Uh, that's okay. Don't go to any trouble.
462
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,000
Oh! No trouble at all.
463
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,999
You may be a felon, but
you can still be my BFF.
464
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,950
Oh, thanks, but I'll probably mouth off
and get my mail privileges revoked.
465
00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:21,549
Then we shall video chat and you can...
466
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:24,049
No, we shall not!
467
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:26,100
OMG, kid, take a hint.
468
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:30,000
I've gotta find less needy marks.
469
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,999
Oh Ravi don't be sad,
you'll make another friend.
470
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,883
One you won't have to get
a pat-down to visit.
471
00:22:36,914 --> 00:22:39,949
And in the meantime, I'll
be your trivia partner.
472
00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:42,499
Oh! Fantastic!
473
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,949
Let us start with something easy.
474
00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:47,249
Early Druid mythology or
Jurassic crustaceans?
475
00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:51,350
Oh, you, you keep those on you?
476
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:53,150
Great!
477
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,849
(Chuckling nervously)
478
00:22:54,850 --> 00:22:56,900
Oops! Did, did I forget to put that back?
479
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,050
Oh, I just wanted to wear it to the deli!
480
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:02,150
The guy who makes the egg salad is so cute.
35948
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