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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:10,138 OKAY, PEOPLE, P.J.'s BIRTHDAY IS THIS SATURDAY, 2 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,211 AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO BUY HIM A PRESENT. 3 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,553 AND BY EVERYONE, I MEAN GABE. 4 00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:18,215 AND BY BUY HIM A PRESENT, 5 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,049 SHE MEANS ACTUALLY PURCHASE ONE, 6 00:00:21,292 --> 00:00:23,322 NOT BORROW OR STEAL IT. 7 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,734 WHY ARE YOU GUYS PICKING ON ME? 8 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,697 I ALWAYS GET P.J. A PRESENT. 9 00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:32,199 LAST YEAR YOU WRAPPED UP ONE OF HIS SHIRTS AND GAVE IT TO HIM. 10 00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:35,673 AND HE LOVED IT. 11 00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:40,338 I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BABY BOY IS TURNING 18. 12 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,541 ( whistling ) 13 00:00:45,476 --> 00:00:47,676 HEY, GUYS, WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT? 14 00:00:47,678 --> 00:00:49,418 All: NOTHING. 15 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,250 WHAT YOU WHISTLING ABOUT? 16 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:55,092 NOT MY BIRTHDAY, THAT'S FOR SURE. 17 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,188 - HEY, P.J., - HMM. 18 00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:02,260 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A PAIR OF PANTS EXACTLY LIKE THOSE? 19 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,436 - OH, MAN. - TEDDY, YOU OKAY? 20 00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:10,799 I'M JUST BUMMED OUT I HAVE TO KISS SPENCER. 21 00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:14,511 YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND SPENCER? THE ONE WHO CHEATED ON YOU? 22 00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:18,175 NO, DAD, THE OTHER SPENCER IN MY LIFE. 23 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:22,149 WELL, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA KISS THAT GUY? 24 00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,613 'CAUSE I NEED A CAR. 25 00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:28,357 TELL HIM MORE. HE'S LOST. 26 00:01:28,359 --> 00:01:32,319 OKAY, SO I GOT A NEW JOB AT SUPER ADVENTURELAND. 27 00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:34,733 I PLAY THE PRINCESS. THE PRINCESS HAS TO KISS THE FROG. 28 00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:38,165 AND THE FROG IS... 29 00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:39,469 SPENCER. 30 00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:43,771 TEDDY, HONEY, I FEEL FOR YOU. 31 00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:46,644 I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS TO KISS YOUR EX. 32 00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:49,177 I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE. 33 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,241 ( whistles ) 34 00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:55,193 ( theme music playing ) 35 00:01:55,186 --> 00:01:58,316 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 36 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,889 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 37 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,750 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 38 00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,733 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 39 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,325 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 40 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,327 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 41 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,830 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 42 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,213 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 43 00:02:16,207 --> 00:02:19,707 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY, THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 44 00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:22,570 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 45 00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:24,423 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 46 00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,215 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 47 00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:29,147 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 48 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,379 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 49 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:35,232 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 50 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:39,156 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 51 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,890 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 52 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,963 CHARLIE, DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH DADDY'S CAN? 53 00:03:05,956 --> 00:03:07,356 NO, DADDY. 54 00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,718 DID YOU SEE WHERE IT WENT? 55 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,260 IT'S A SECRET. 56 00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:15,733 WELL, DO YOU WANNA TELL DADDY THE SECRET? 57 00:03:15,726 --> 00:03:18,226 GABE. 58 00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:21,569 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. 59 00:03:27,378 --> 00:03:30,378 GABE, DID YOU JUST STEAL MY CAN? 60 00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:33,781 CAN? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A CAN. 61 00:03:33,784 --> 00:03:36,624 STEP AWAY FROM THE CUPBOARD. 62 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,747 NO, NO, DAD. 63 00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:40,919 - COME ON. - DAD, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO-- 64 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,356 DO THAT. 65 00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:50,899 WHAT'S GOING ON? 66 00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:53,901 I'M RECYCLING. 67 00:03:53,904 --> 00:03:55,774 NO KIDDING. 68 00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:59,606 YEAH, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT. 69 00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,510 I'M GONNA BE ON THIS PLANET FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. 70 00:04:02,513 --> 00:04:06,323 NOW YOU, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 71 00:04:06,317 --> 00:04:09,777 SO ALL THIS SUDDEN INTEREST IN RECYCLING 72 00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,420 HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT MAYBE 73 00:04:12,423 --> 00:04:14,833 YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE A LITTLE MONEY OFF IT? 74 00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:16,755 IS THAT RIGHT? 75 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,957 I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 76 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,959 WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW. 77 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,892 IN THE STATE OF COLORADO, 78 00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:26,344 THEY DON'T GIVE YOU MONEY FOR ALUMINUM CANS. 79 00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:30,568 OH, YEAH, I KNEW THAT. 80 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:34,001 OH, DAD, BY THE WAY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE? 81 00:04:34,004 --> 00:04:36,884 - SURE, WHERE TO? - KANSAS. 82 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,963 HEY, MOM, GUESS WHAT? I JOINED SPANISH CLUB. 83 00:04:45,956 --> 00:04:49,986 IS THIS ABOUT TAKING A SCHOOL TRIP OR MEETING GIRLS? 84 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,890 IT'S ABOUT TAKING A TRIP 85 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,403 WITH GIRLS. 86 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,896 OR AS WE SAY IN SPANISH, CONGIRLS. 87 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:02,069 ANYWAY, I'M GONNA NEED A PASSPORT TO GO TO MEXICO, 88 00:05:02,072 --> 00:05:03,832 SO I'LL NEED MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 89 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:07,044 YOU NEED YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE? 90 00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:09,907 - YEAH, YOU GOT IT, RIGHT? - YEAH. 91 00:05:11,882 --> 00:05:15,522 IT'S-- IT'S IN MY FILES. 92 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,317 I WILL DIG IT OUT FOR YOU. 93 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,018 - THANKS. - YEAH, NO PROBLEM. 94 00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,663 ( dials ) 95 00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:26,955 BOB, IT FINALLY HAPPENED. 96 00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:29,597 P.J. WANTS TO SEE HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 97 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,100 WE KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME. 98 00:05:31,101 --> 00:05:33,931 OH, STOP WHIMPERING AND MAN UP. 99 00:05:42,072 --> 00:05:44,682 HEY. 100 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,975 HEY. 101 00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,946 SO TODAY IS THE DAY OF THE BIG KISS, HUH? 102 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,720 YEAH, I GUESS SO. 103 00:05:51,722 --> 00:05:53,922 ( clears throat ) 104 00:05:53,924 --> 00:05:57,794 YOU LOOK GREAT IN THAT OUTFIT. 105 00:05:57,788 --> 00:06:00,858 I KNOW. I MEAN, THANKS. 106 00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:05,603 LOOK, SPENCER, THERE'S NO REASON WHY THIS HAS TO BE AWKWARD. 107 00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:07,566 IT'S NOT YOU AND I KISSING. 108 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,068 IT'S JUST OUR CHARACTERS. 109 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,599 I MEAN, WE'RE PROFESSIONALS, RIGHT? 110 00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,802 YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT. 111 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:17,484 I'M AS PROFESSIONAL AS A GUY IN A FROG SUIT 112 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,878 MAKING MINIMUM WAGE CAN BE. 113 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,050 ( fanfare plays ) 114 00:06:23,954 --> 00:06:26,664 WELL, THAT'S OUR CUE. 115 00:06:26,657 --> 00:06:27,957 SEE YOU OUT THERE. 116 00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:35,473 ( classical music playing ) 117 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,667 Announcer: And when their joyous dance came to an end, 118 00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:42,431 the prince and the princess 119 00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:44,943 sealed their love with a kiss. 120 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:54,082 WAIT, TEDDY. 121 00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,754 And the prince and the princess walked off together 122 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,117 and lived happily ever after. 123 00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:10,627 BOB, YOU HAD 18 YEARS TO CHANGE P.J.'s BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 124 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:14,131 - WHY DIDN'T YOU? - FOR ONCE, CAN WE NOT PLAY THE BLAME GAME? 125 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,574 THAT'S THE ONLY GAME WE KNOW. 126 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:20,567 OKAY, LOOK, THERE IS A VERY SIMPLE SOLUTION. 127 00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:23,041 WE'LL JUST TELL P.J. THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD TO SEND HIM TO MEXICO. 128 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,683 YOU WANT ME TO LIE TO HIM? 129 00:07:26,216 --> 00:07:28,516 I'M IN. 130 00:07:31,682 --> 00:07:34,022 HOLA, PADRE. HOLA, MADRE. 131 00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:39,926 HOLA, SENOR ANDSENORA DUNCAN. 132 00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:43,060 HOLA, EMMETT. COMO ESTAS? 133 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,703 WHAT DID SHE SAY? 134 00:07:45,696 --> 00:07:47,936 I HAVE NO IDEA. 135 00:07:47,938 --> 00:07:50,598 P.J., HEY, LISTEN. 136 00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,001 LOOK, WE'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS ABOUT THE TRIP, 137 00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,083 WHICH IS HEARTBREAKING CONSIDERING HOW WELL 138 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,745 YOU'RE DOING WITH THE SPANISH. 139 00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:03,110 HONEY, WE CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY 140 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:04,893 FOR YOUR TRIP TO MEXICO. I'M SO SORRY. 141 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,055 THE SPANISH CLUB'S BEEN HAVING FUNDRAISERS ALL YEAR. 142 00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:09,487 - THE TRIP IS PAID FOR. - WON'T COST YOU A DIME. 143 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,059 IT'S A FREE TRIP TO OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH. 144 00:08:15,726 --> 00:08:17,266 IT'S SOUTH. 145 00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:20,967 NOT ON THE WAY BACK. 146 00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:36,754 - SPENCER. - HEY, CAN WE TALK? 147 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,052 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY. 148 00:08:44,054 --> 00:08:46,204 NO, I'M NOT OKAY. 149 00:08:46,196 --> 00:08:48,726 TEDDY, I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS, ALL RIGHT? 150 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,059 YOU HAD THE JOB FIRST, AND IF KISSING ME MAKES YOU FEEL THAT BAD, 151 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:52,561 THEN I'M JUST GOING TO QUIT. 152 00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:54,643 NO, SPENCER, IT'S NOT THAT THE KISS WAS BAD. 153 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,865 IT'S THAT THE KISS WAS... 154 00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,168 GOOD. 155 00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,209 OH. 156 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,254 I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE GOOD. 157 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,976 IN FACT, I WAS ALL PREPARED TO BE DISGUSTED. 158 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,321 THANKS. 159 00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:17,264 NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 160 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,927 TEDDY. 161 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,202 HURTING YOU WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER DID. 162 00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:28,195 WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE? 163 00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:38,877 ( doorbell rings ) 164 00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:44,861 DID YOU NOTICE THAT EVERY TIME WE KISS, BALLOONS APPEAR? 165 00:09:44,855 --> 00:09:47,315 OH, GOOD, YOU'RE SEEING THEM TOO. 166 00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,363 COME ON, CHARLIE, SAY IT. 167 00:09:54,364 --> 00:09:56,304 I LOVE YOU. 168 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,296 ISN'T THAT ADORABLE, GRANDMA? 169 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,829 YEAH, SHE MADE ME CALL JUST SO SHE COULD TELL YOU THAT. 170 00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:06,683 HEY, LISTEN, GRANDMA, WHILE I GOT YOU ON THE HORN, A THOUGHT OCCURRED TO ME. 171 00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:10,207 EVERY YEAR YOU SEND ME A CHRISTMAS CHECK FOR $50. 172 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,180 YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT. 173 00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:15,152 WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER IF YOU JUST SENT ME THE NEXT 10 CHECKS ALL AT ONCE? 174 00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:17,745 YOU KNOW, KIND OF A LIKE A PREPAY PLAN. 175 00:10:17,748 --> 00:10:19,148 - GABE. - GOTTA GO. 176 00:10:19,149 --> 00:10:21,319 ( telephone beeps ) 177 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,721 OKAY, OUT WITH IT. 178 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,064 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO GET THIS MONEY FOR? 179 00:10:26,056 --> 00:10:28,156 ( sighs ) 180 00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:32,228 ALL RIGHT, THE TRUTH IS, 181 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,712 I WANT THE Z-CUBE 6. 182 00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:35,965 A NEW GAME SYSTEM? 183 00:10:35,966 --> 00:10:38,336 I JUST GOT YOU THE Z-CUBE 5 LAST YEAR. 184 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,338 YEAH, LAST YEAR. 185 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,170 IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE 3D GRAPHICS. 186 00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,182 I MIGHT AS WELL JUST USE IT AS A FOOT STOOL. 187 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,317 OKAY, YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE MONEY 188 00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:54,421 WITHOUT SHAKING DOWN YOUR RELATIVES. 189 00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,294 - ( telephone rings ) - ( beep ) 190 00:10:57,287 --> 00:10:58,827 HELLO. 191 00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:01,689 OH HEY, AUNT DIANE. 192 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,203 YEAH, THANKS FOR CALLING BACK. 193 00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:07,936 WHAT DID I WANT? 194 00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:10,238 JUST TO SAY 195 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,240 I LOVE YA. 196 00:11:14,244 --> 00:11:15,784 SEE WHAT YOU'RE MAKING ME DO? 197 00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:25,862 P.J., THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU. 198 00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:29,056 NOW BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, 199 00:11:29,059 --> 00:11:31,789 YOUR MOTHER AND I, WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. 200 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,702 THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD. WHAT'S GOING ON? 201 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,365 P.J., WE'VE BEEN KEEPING A SECRET FROM YOU. 202 00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:40,068 - WHAT IS IT? - IT'S ABOUT YOUR NAME. 203 00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:43,970 OKAY, AS YOU KNOW, 204 00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,484 YOU WERE NAMED AFTER YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER-- PATRICK JOHN. 205 00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,736 YEAH. EVERYBODY CALLED HIM PADDY JOHN. 206 00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:51,179 YEAH, OKAY, HERE'S WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW. 207 00:11:52,983 --> 00:11:56,323 WHEN YOU WERE BORN, 208 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,916 I FILLED OUT THE PAPERS 209 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:01,148 AND I WAS REALLY NERVOUS 210 00:12:01,151 --> 00:12:04,901 AND I THINK MY HAND WAS SHAKING A LITTLE, 211 00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,795 AND-- HERE. 212 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,800 THAT IS YOUR LEGAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 213 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:23,840 - THAT'S WHAT P.J. STANDS FOR? - I'M AFRAID SO. 214 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,024 MY NAME IS "POTTY JOHN"? 215 00:12:29,479 --> 00:12:32,249 LEGALLY, YES. 216 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:36,062 POTTY JOHN. 217 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,286 I'M NAMED AFTER TWO TOILETS. 218 00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:42,289 LEGALLY, YEAH. 219 00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:44,942 AND YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO FIX THIS? 220 00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:47,865 WE ALWAYS MEANT TO. WE JUST NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT. 221 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,368 KIND OF LIKE THE UPSTAIRS POTTY, HUH? 222 00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,984 TOO SOON? 223 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,155 SO YOUR DAD AND I WERE TALKING. 224 00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:11,017 AND WE FEEL REALLY BAD THAT YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK EVERY DAY 225 00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:13,521 AND KISS THAT HORRIBLE SPENCER. 226 00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,873 YEAH. 227 00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:18,866 HORRIBLE'S KIND OF A STRONG WORD. 228 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,970 ANYWAY, SINCE THE ONLY REASON 229 00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:26,183 YOU'RE DOING THIS IS TO GET MONEY FOR A CAR, 230 00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:30,076 WELL, COME WITH ME. 231 00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:39,517 - TA-DA! - WHAT'S THIS? 232 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,349 IT'S YOUR NEW CAR. 233 00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:43,491 SHUT UP! 234 00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:46,063 ONE OF THE OTHER NURSES WAS SELLING IT. I GOT A GREAT PRICE. 235 00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:47,396 NOW IT'S ALL YOURS. 236 00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:50,197 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 237 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,130 THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 238 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,932 GET IN. 239 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,574 AND THE BEST PART IS NOW YOU CAN QUIT YOUR JOB 240 00:13:56,566 --> 00:13:59,536 SO THAT YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO NEAR THAT JERK SPENCER EVER AGAIN. 241 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,539 YAY. 242 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,442 YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A NAME. 243 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,954 I KNOW. 244 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,847 HOW ABOUT "THE NOW I DON'T 245 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,448 HAVE TO KISS SPENCER ANYMORE MOBILE"? 246 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,451 OR "ED." 247 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,464 I KIND OF LIKE ED. 248 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,262 COME ON IN, GUYS. 249 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,504 RIGHT THIS WAY. 250 00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:29,566 THE FUN BEGINS IN A MINUTE. 251 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,469 - GABE. - YEAH. 252 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,441 WHO ARE THESE KIDS? I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE. 253 00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,913 YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BECAUSE THESE ARE THE KIDS 254 00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:39,546 THAT NEVER GET INVITED ANYWHERE. 255 00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:42,979 OKAY, SO WHY ARE THEY HERE? WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU? 256 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,163 THE SATISFACTION OF BRINGING JOY 257 00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:49,286 TO A FEW SAD MISFITS. 258 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,059 - EXCUSE ME. - YEAH. 259 00:14:51,061 --> 00:14:55,001 DO I GIVE YOU THE $20 NOW OR WHEN THE PLAY DATE'S OVER? 260 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,595 - NOW'S GOOD. - AWESOME. 261 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,497 GABE. 262 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,671 DID YOU SEE THE SMILE ON THE LITTLE SCAMP'S FACE? 263 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:15,251 MOM, I HAD THE CRAZIEST DREAM LAST NIGHT. 264 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:17,415 ME TOO. 265 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,417 I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, ONLY I HAD WINGS. 266 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,949 AND ALL THE CHEERLEADERS WERE REALLY JEALOUS 267 00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:23,491 BECAUSE I KEPT FLYING AROUND DURING OUR ROUTINE. 268 00:15:23,493 --> 00:15:26,403 THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, LADY GAGA APPEARS, THROWS A SHOE AT ME-- 269 00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:29,996 OKAY, MOM, CAN WE STAY ON ME? 270 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,300 ANYWAY, IN MY CRAZY DREAM, 271 00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:36,043 SPENCER AND I GOT BACK TOGETHER, 272 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,206 AND THEN YOU GUYS FOUND OUT, 273 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,508 AND YOU TOOK MY CAR AWAY. 274 00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:43,010 WELL, DUH. 275 00:15:43,013 --> 00:15:46,223 YOU KNOW, TEDDY, MY DREAMS ARE A LOT MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOURS. 276 00:15:49,079 --> 00:15:51,219 MOM, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 277 00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:53,551 DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS CAR HAS SATELLITE RADIO? 278 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,393 - IT DOES? - MM-HMM. 279 00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:57,685 OVER A HUNDRED STATIONS. 280 00:15:57,687 --> 00:15:59,627 YOU WERE SAYING? 281 00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:01,629 RIGHT. RIGHT, OKAY. 282 00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:04,031 UM, HERE'S THE THING-- 283 00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:06,044 IS THAT AN MP3 HOOKUP? 284 00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:09,636 THIS BABY'S FULLY-LOADED. 285 00:16:09,639 --> 00:16:12,669 OH, MAN, YOU ARE NOT MAKING THIS EASIER. 286 00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:17,084 SPEAKING OF MAKING THINGS EASIER, BA-BAM! 287 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,107 YOUR VERY OWN GAS CARD. 288 00:16:19,109 --> 00:16:21,749 OH. 289 00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:25,491 AND SO YOU DON'T GET LOST, BA-BAM! 290 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,655 YOUR VERY OWN GPS. 291 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,220 NOW WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME? 292 00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:36,773 MOM, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M IN LOVE... 293 00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:39,628 WITH ED. 294 00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:50,237 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS FROM GABE. 295 00:16:52,182 --> 00:16:54,782 A $10 GIFT CARD FOR FROZEN YOGURT. 296 00:16:54,784 --> 00:16:57,494 THERE'S PROBABLY ABOUT $6 LEFT ON IT. 297 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,549 I WAS FEELING SNACKY. 298 00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:04,591 OKAY, HERE'S MINE. 299 00:17:04,594 --> 00:17:06,764 OKAY. 300 00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,499 IT'S A JOURNAL FOR YOUR TRIP TO MEXICO. 301 00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:14,031 EVERY DAY YOU CAN WRITE WHAT YOU DID, WHAT YOU SAW, 302 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,713 HOW YOU FELT ABOUT IT. 303 00:17:15,705 --> 00:17:17,665 - I LOVE IT. - YEAH. 304 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:20,667 YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO GET A GIFT RECEIPT FOR THIS, DID YOU? 305 00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,740 NO. 306 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,682 OKAY, HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FROM MOM AND DAD. 307 00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:27,715 ALL RIGHT. 308 00:17:29,479 --> 00:17:32,679 OH, WOW. GUYS, THIS IS SO GENEROUS. 309 00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,682 IT'S JUST A LITTLE SPENDING MONEY FOR MEXICO. 310 00:17:34,684 --> 00:17:36,794 ENJOY YOURDINERO. 311 00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:38,486 DO I HAVE TO SPEND IT ONDINERO? 312 00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:41,228 CAN I USE IT FOR BREAKFAST-O OR LUNCH-O? 313 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,432 SWEETIE, WHEN YOU'RE DOWN THERE, 314 00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:45,774 STAY CLOSE TO THE TEACHER. 315 00:17:47,437 --> 00:17:51,167 THERE IS ONE MORE THING WE GOT YOU. 316 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,641 WENT DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE THIS MORNING. 317 00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:55,412 FINALLY GOT YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE FIXED. 318 00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:58,475 YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY P.J. DUNCAN. 319 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,610 DAD, DID YOU DOUBLE-CHECK THIS? 320 00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,582 NO. WHY? 321 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,824 HOW COULD ANYBODY POSSIBLY MESS UP P.J.? 322 00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:10,256 DON'T ASK ME. ACCORDING TO THIS, MY NAME'S P.P. DUNCAN. 323 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,660 ( laughing ) 324 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,333 THE JOURNAL'S NOT LOOKING SO BAD NOW, 325 00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:18,096 IS IT? 326 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,627 WELL, LOOKS LIKE THAT'S ALL THE PRESENTS, P.P. 327 00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,200 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 328 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,212 WAIT, THERE'S ONE LEFT. THIS SAYS IT'S FROM CHARLIE. 329 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:28,735 CHARLIE? YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET ME ANYTHING. 330 00:18:28,738 --> 00:18:31,678 WHAT? A NEW GUITAR. 331 00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:34,711 THAT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED. HOW'D YOU GUYS KNOW? 332 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,294 ( indistinct ) 333 00:18:38,288 --> 00:18:40,488 THIS IS SO COOL. 334 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,693 HEY, GABE. 335 00:18:46,296 --> 00:18:48,826 HOW YOU LIKING THAT NEW Z-CUBE? 336 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,798 I DECIDED NOT TO GET IT. 337 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,400 THE Z-CUBE 7'S COMING OUT SOON. 338 00:18:53,403 --> 00:18:57,143 YOU USED THAT MONEY TO BUY THAT NEW GUITAR FOR YOUR BROTHER. 339 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,836 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 340 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,739 - COME ON, GABE. - ALL RIGHT. 341 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,822 IF YOU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. 342 00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:08,616 WHY WOULD YOU WANNA KEEP THIS A SECRET? 343 00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:12,449 BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE PEOPLE THINKING 344 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,182 THAT I'VE GONE SOFT 345 00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:17,794 OR THAT I LOVE MY BROTHER. 346 00:19:17,787 --> 00:19:21,557 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME. 347 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,331 I'M PROUD OF YOU. YOU'RE A GOOD KID. 348 00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:28,495 SEE, THAT'S THE EXACT KIND OF TALK I WAS AFRAID OF. 349 00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:38,775 - HEY, GUYS. - HI, HONEY. 350 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,550 THERE ARE THE KEYS TO ED. I'M GIVING HIM BACK. 351 00:19:43,553 --> 00:19:45,893 WHAT? WHY? 352 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,415 BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA TAKE HIM BACK ANYWAY. 353 00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,218 WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? 354 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:53,360 THERE'S A SECRET I'VE BEEN KEEPING FROM YOU GUYS. 355 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,774 COME ON IN. 356 00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:00,228 HI, MR. AND MRS. DUNCAN. 357 00:20:01,631 --> 00:20:04,731 SPENCER AND I ARE DATING AGAIN. 358 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,705 AT FIRST, I DIDN'T WANNA TELL YOU GUYS 359 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,937 BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID THAT YOU WOULD TAKE AWAY THE CAR. 360 00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:11,879 I FIGURED THAT I HAD A CHOICE TO MAKE, 361 00:20:11,881 --> 00:20:13,641 EITHER ED OR SPENCER. 362 00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,593 SO AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT FOR A LONG TIME-- 363 00:20:15,585 --> 00:20:17,785 A REALLY LONG TIME. 364 00:20:19,889 --> 00:20:23,649 I CHOSE SPENCER. I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. 365 00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:27,663 SO WE'RE BACK TOGETHER NOW AND I'M VERY HAPPY. 366 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,398 WELL... 367 00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:34,501 I'M JUST GLAD YOU COULD BE HONEST WITH US. 368 00:20:34,504 --> 00:20:36,944 AND IF YOU'RE HAPPY, 369 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,266 I GUESS THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. 370 00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:40,909 THANKS. 371 00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:47,824 WHAT? YOU'RE LETTING ME KEEP THE CAR? 372 00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:50,017 WE'RE LETTING YOU PAY FOR THE CAR. 373 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,981 WITH THE JOB THAT YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP. 374 00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,494 FAIR ENOUGH. 375 00:20:58,888 --> 00:21:01,828 WELCOME BACK TO THE FAMILY, SPENCER. 376 00:21:01,831 --> 00:21:05,971 AND IF YOU EVER 377 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,935 HURT MY LITTLE GIRL AGAIN... 378 00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:11,038 BA-BAM! 379 00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:22,979 Hey, Charlie, so big news. 380 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:26,492 This week I got a new old boyfriend named Spencer 381 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,916 and an old new car named Ed. 382 00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:32,418 Someday, if I take good care of him, you can have him. 383 00:21:32,422 --> 00:21:36,432 Oh, Ed, not Spencer. That'd just be weird. 384 00:21:36,426 --> 00:21:39,526 - Excuse me. - Who are you? 385 00:21:39,529 --> 00:21:42,529 I'm Elliot. I paid Gabe for another play date. 386 00:21:42,532 --> 00:21:44,032 We're playing hide and seek, 387 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:47,513 and I've been hiding for almost five hours. 388 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,637 Gabe went to baseball practice. 389 00:21:49,639 --> 00:21:53,039 Oh, I'll wait. 390 00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:55,042 Well... 391 00:21:55,044 --> 00:21:57,854 I guess there's only one thing left to say. 392 00:21:57,847 --> 00:22:01,017 Oh, hey! You're here. Why don't you say it? 393 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,020 Good luck, Charlie. 394 00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:16,042 Man's voice: Teddy. 395 00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,535 WHO SAID THAT? 396 00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,907 It's me, your car. 397 00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,940 ED, YOU CAN TALK? 398 00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:27,052 I prefer Edward and yes. 399 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,946 SO I HAVE A TALKING CAR? 400 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,679 DOES THAT MEAN WE'RE GONNA GO ON ADVENTURES AND SOLVE CRIMES AND STUFF? 401 00:22:33,683 --> 00:22:37,063 Well, that sounds kind of dangerous. 402 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,426 I thought we'd just drive carefully 403 00:22:39,429 --> 00:22:42,989 and stay within the speed limit and stuff. 404 00:22:42,992 --> 00:22:47,002 OH, MAN, SO I HAVE A TALKING CAR WHO'S BORING? 405 00:22:46,996 --> 00:22:50,636 Oh, one other thing I have to tell you-- 406 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,640 I don't feel so good. ( coughs, retches ) 407 00:22:54,644 --> 00:22:56,614 ( engine shuts down ) 408 00:22:56,606 --> 00:23:00,606 ED, EDWARD. EDWARD, TALK TO ME! 409 00:23:00,610 --> 00:23:03,950 -Gotcha! -( engine starts ) 410 00:23:03,953 --> 00:23:06,693 Not so boring now, am I? 29289

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