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1
00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:10,138
OKAY, PEOPLE,
P.J.'s BIRTHDAY
IS THIS SATURDAY,
2
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,211
AND EVERYONE NEEDS
TO BUY HIM A PRESENT.
3
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,553
AND BY EVERYONE,
I MEAN GABE.
4
00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:18,215
AND BY BUY HIM
A PRESENT,
5
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,049
SHE MEANS ACTUALLY
PURCHASE ONE,
6
00:00:21,292 --> 00:00:23,322
NOT BORROW OR STEAL IT.
7
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,734
WHY ARE YOU GUYS
PICKING ON ME?
8
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,697
I ALWAYS GET P.J.
A PRESENT.
9
00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:32,199
LAST YEAR YOU WRAPPED UP
ONE OF HIS SHIRTS AND
GAVE IT TO HIM.
10
00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:35,673
AND HE LOVED IT.
11
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:40,338
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BABY BOY
IS TURNING 18.
12
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,541
( whistling )
13
00:00:45,476 --> 00:00:47,676
HEY, GUYS,
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
14
00:00:47,678 --> 00:00:49,418
All:
NOTHING.
15
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,250
WHAT YOU WHISTLING ABOUT?
16
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:55,092
NOT MY BIRTHDAY,
THAT'S FOR SURE.
17
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,188
- HEY, P.J.,
- HMM.
18
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:02,260
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A PAIR
OF PANTS EXACTLY LIKE THOSE?
19
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,436
- OH, MAN.
- TEDDY, YOU OKAY?
20
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:10,799
I'M JUST BUMMED OUT
I HAVE TO KISS SPENCER.
21
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:14,511
YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND SPENCER?
THE ONE WHO CHEATED ON YOU?
22
00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:18,175
NO, DAD,
THE OTHER SPENCER IN MY LIFE.
23
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:22,149
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU
WANNA KISS THAT GUY?
24
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,613
'CAUSE I NEED A CAR.
25
00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:28,357
TELL HIM MORE.
HE'S LOST.
26
00:01:28,359 --> 00:01:32,319
OKAY, SO I GOT A NEW JOB
AT SUPER ADVENTURELAND.
27
00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:34,733
I PLAY THE PRINCESS.
THE PRINCESS HAS TO
KISS THE FROG.
28
00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:38,165
AND THE FROG IS...
29
00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:39,469
SPENCER.
30
00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:43,771
TEDDY, HONEY,
I FEEL FOR YOU.
31
00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:46,644
I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE
IT IS TO KISS YOUR EX.
32
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:49,177
I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME
IN COLLEGE.
33
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,241
( whistles )
34
00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:55,193
( theme music playing )
35
00:01:55,186 --> 00:01:58,316
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
36
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,889
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪
37
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,750
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪
38
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,733
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
39
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,325
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
40
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,327
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
41
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,830
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪
42
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,213
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
43
00:02:16,207 --> 00:02:19,707
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY,
THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
44
00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:22,570
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
45
00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:24,423
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
46
00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,215
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
47
00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:29,147
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
48
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,379
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
49
00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:35,232
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
50
00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:39,156
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
51
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,890
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
52
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,963
CHARLIE, DID YOU DO
SOMETHING WITH DADDY'S CAN?
53
00:03:05,956 --> 00:03:07,356
NO, DADDY.
54
00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,718
DID YOU SEE WHERE IT WENT?
55
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,260
IT'S A SECRET.
56
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:15,733
WELL, DO YOU WANNA
TELL DADDY THE SECRET?
57
00:03:15,726 --> 00:03:18,226
GABE.
58
00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:21,569
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
MY FAVORITE.
59
00:03:27,378 --> 00:03:30,378
GABE, DID YOU JUST
STEAL MY CAN?
60
00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:33,781
CAN? I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT A CAN.
61
00:03:33,784 --> 00:03:36,624
STEP AWAY
FROM THE CUPBOARD.
62
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,747
NO, NO, DAD.
63
00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:40,919
- COME ON.
- DAD, I REALLY DON'T THINK
YOU WANT TO--
64
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,356
DO THAT.
65
00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:50,899
WHAT'S GOING ON?
66
00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:53,901
I'M RECYCLING.
67
00:03:53,904 --> 00:03:55,774
NO KIDDING.
68
00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:59,606
YEAH, I'M CONCERNED
ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.
69
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,510
I'M GONNA BE ON THIS PLANET
FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.
70
00:04:02,513 --> 00:04:06,323
NOW YOU, YOU'VE GOT
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
71
00:04:06,317 --> 00:04:09,777
SO ALL THIS SUDDEN
INTEREST IN RECYCLING
72
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,420
HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE FACT THAT MAYBE
73
00:04:12,423 --> 00:04:14,833
YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE
A LITTLE MONEY OFF IT?
74
00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:16,755
IS THAT RIGHT?
75
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,957
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
76
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,959
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW.
77
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,892
IN THE STATE OF COLORADO,
78
00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:26,344
THEY DON'T GIVE YOU MONEY
FOR ALUMINUM CANS.
79
00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:30,568
OH, YEAH, I KNEW THAT.
80
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:34,001
OH, DAD, BY THE WAY,
CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE?
81
00:04:34,004 --> 00:04:36,884
- SURE, WHERE TO?
- KANSAS.
82
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,963
HEY, MOM, GUESS WHAT?
I JOINED SPANISH CLUB.
83
00:04:45,956 --> 00:04:49,986
IS THIS ABOUT TAKING
A SCHOOL TRIP OR
MEETING GIRLS?
84
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,890
IT'S ABOUT
TAKING A TRIP
85
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,403
WITH GIRLS.
86
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,896
OR AS WE SAY IN SPANISH,
CONGIRLS.
87
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:02,069
ANYWAY, I'M GONNA NEED
A PASSPORT TO GO TO MEXICO,
88
00:05:02,072 --> 00:05:03,832
SO I'LL NEED
MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
89
00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:07,044
YOU NEED YOUR
BIRTH CERTIFICATE?
90
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:09,907
- YEAH, YOU GOT IT, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
91
00:05:11,882 --> 00:05:15,522
IT'S--
IT'S IN MY FILES.
92
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,317
I WILL DIG IT OUT
FOR YOU.
93
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,018
- THANKS.
- YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
94
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,663
( dials )
95
00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:26,955
BOB,
IT FINALLY HAPPENED.
96
00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:29,597
P.J. WANTS TO SEE
HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
97
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,100
WE KNEW THIS DAY
WOULD COME.
98
00:05:31,101 --> 00:05:33,931
OH, STOP WHIMPERING
AND MAN UP.
99
00:05:42,072 --> 00:05:44,682
HEY.
100
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,975
HEY.
101
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,946
SO TODAY IS THE DAY
OF THE BIG KISS, HUH?
102
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,720
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
103
00:05:51,722 --> 00:05:53,922
( clears throat )
104
00:05:53,924 --> 00:05:57,794
YOU LOOK GREAT
IN THAT OUTFIT.
105
00:05:57,788 --> 00:06:00,858
I KNOW.
I MEAN, THANKS.
106
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:05,603
LOOK, SPENCER,
THERE'S NO REASON WHY
THIS HAS TO BE AWKWARD.
107
00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:07,566
IT'S NOT YOU AND I
KISSING.
108
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,068
IT'S JUST OUR CHARACTERS.
109
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,599
I MEAN,
WE'RE PROFESSIONALS, RIGHT?
110
00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,802
YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
111
00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:17,484
I'M AS PROFESSIONAL
AS A GUY IN A FROG SUIT
112
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,878
MAKING MINIMUM WAGE CAN BE.
113
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,050
( fanfare plays )
114
00:06:23,954 --> 00:06:26,664
WELL, THAT'S OUR CUE.
115
00:06:26,657 --> 00:06:27,957
SEE YOU OUT THERE.
116
00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:35,473
( classical music playing )
117
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,667
Announcer:
And when their joyous
dance came to an end,
118
00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:42,431
the prince and the princess
119
00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:44,943
sealed their love
with a kiss.
120
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:54,082
WAIT, TEDDY.
121
00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,754
And the prince and
the princess walked off
together
122
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,117
and lived happily
ever after.
123
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:10,627
BOB, YOU HAD 18 YEARS
TO CHANGE P.J.'s BIRTH
CERTIFICATE.
124
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:14,131
- WHY DIDN'T YOU?
- FOR ONCE, CAN WE NOT
PLAY THE BLAME GAME?
125
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,574
THAT'S THE ONLY
GAME WE KNOW.
126
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:20,567
OKAY, LOOK, THERE IS
A VERY SIMPLE SOLUTION.
127
00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:23,041
WE'LL JUST TELL P.J.
THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD
TO SEND HIM TO MEXICO.
128
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,683
YOU WANT ME TO LIE TO HIM?
129
00:07:26,216 --> 00:07:28,516
I'M IN.
130
00:07:31,682 --> 00:07:34,022
HOLA, PADRE.
HOLA, MADRE.
131
00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:39,926
HOLA, SENOR
ANDSENORA DUNCAN.
132
00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:43,060
HOLA, EMMETT.
COMO ESTAS?
133
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,703
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
134
00:07:45,696 --> 00:07:47,936
I HAVE NO IDEA.
135
00:07:47,938 --> 00:07:50,598
P.J., HEY, LISTEN.
136
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,001
LOOK, WE'VE GOT SOME
BAD NEWS ABOUT THE TRIP,
137
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,083
WHICH IS HEARTBREAKING
CONSIDERING HOW WELL
138
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,745
YOU'RE DOING
WITH THE SPANISH.
139
00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:03,110
HONEY, WE CAN'T
AFFORD TO PAY
140
00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:04,893
FOR YOUR TRIP TO MEXICO.
I'M SO SORRY.
141
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,055
THE SPANISH CLUB'S BEEN
HAVING FUNDRAISERS ALL YEAR.
142
00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:09,487
- THE TRIP IS PAID FOR.
- WON'T COST YOU A DIME.
143
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,059
IT'S A FREE TRIP
TO OUR NEIGHBORS
TO THE NORTH.
144
00:08:15,726 --> 00:08:17,266
IT'S SOUTH.
145
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:20,967
NOT ON THE WAY BACK.
146
00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:36,754
- SPENCER.
- HEY, CAN WE TALK?
147
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,052
I JUST WANTED TO
MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY.
148
00:08:44,054 --> 00:08:46,204
NO, I'M NOT OKAY.
149
00:08:46,196 --> 00:08:48,726
TEDDY, I FEEL TERRIBLE
ABOUT THIS, ALL RIGHT?
150
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,059
YOU HAD THE JOB FIRST,
AND IF KISSING ME MAKES
YOU FEEL THAT BAD,
151
00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:52,561
THEN I'M JUST GOING TO QUIT.
152
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:54,643
NO, SPENCER, IT'S NOT
THAT THE KISS WAS BAD.
153
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,865
IT'S THAT THE KISS WAS...
154
00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,168
GOOD.
155
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,209
OH.
156
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,254
I DIDN'T WANT IT
TO BE GOOD.
157
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,976
IN FACT, I WAS ALL PREPARED
TO BE DISGUSTED.
158
00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,321
THANKS.
159
00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:17,264
NOW I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
160
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,927
TEDDY.
161
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,202
HURTING YOU WAS THE STUPIDEST
THING I EVER DID.
162
00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:28,195
WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME
ANOTHER CHANCE?
163
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:38,877
( doorbell rings )
164
00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:44,861
DID YOU NOTICE
THAT EVERY TIME WE KISS,
BALLOONS APPEAR?
165
00:09:44,855 --> 00:09:47,315
OH, GOOD,
YOU'RE SEEING THEM TOO.
166
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,363
COME ON, CHARLIE, SAY IT.
167
00:09:54,364 --> 00:09:56,304
I LOVE YOU.
168
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,296
ISN'T THAT ADORABLE,
GRANDMA?
169
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,829
YEAH, SHE MADE ME CALL
JUST SO SHE COULD TELL
YOU THAT.
170
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:06,683
HEY, LISTEN, GRANDMA,
WHILE I GOT YOU ON THE HORN,
A THOUGHT OCCURRED TO ME.
171
00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:10,207
EVERY YEAR YOU SEND ME
A CHRISTMAS CHECK FOR $50.
172
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,180
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
173
00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:15,152
WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER IF
YOU JUST SENT ME THE NEXT
10 CHECKS ALL AT ONCE?
174
00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:17,745
YOU KNOW, KIND OF
A LIKE A PREPAY PLAN.
175
00:10:17,748 --> 00:10:19,148
- GABE.
- GOTTA GO.
176
00:10:19,149 --> 00:10:21,319
( telephone beeps )
177
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,721
OKAY, OUT WITH IT.
178
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,064
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO GET THIS MONEY FOR?
179
00:10:26,056 --> 00:10:28,156
( sighs )
180
00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:32,228
ALL RIGHT,
THE TRUTH IS,
181
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,712
I WANT THE Z-CUBE 6.
182
00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:35,965
A NEW GAME SYSTEM?
183
00:10:35,966 --> 00:10:38,336
I JUST GOT YOU
THE Z-CUBE 5 LAST YEAR.
184
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,338
YEAH, LAST YEAR.
185
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,170
IT DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE 3D GRAPHICS.
186
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,182
I MIGHT AS WELL JUST
USE IT AS A FOOT STOOL.
187
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,317
OKAY, YOU ARE GONNA
HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER
WAY TO MAKE MONEY
188
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:54,421
WITHOUT SHAKING DOWN
YOUR RELATIVES.
189
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,294
- ( telephone rings )
- ( beep )
190
00:10:57,287 --> 00:10:58,827
HELLO.
191
00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:01,689
OH HEY, AUNT DIANE.
192
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,203
YEAH,
THANKS FOR CALLING BACK.
193
00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:07,936
WHAT DID I WANT?
194
00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:10,238
JUST TO SAY
195
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,240
I LOVE YA.
196
00:11:14,244 --> 00:11:15,784
SEE WHAT YOU'RE
MAKING ME DO?
197
00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:25,862
P.J., THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO TELL YOU.
198
00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:29,056
NOW BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
199
00:11:29,059 --> 00:11:31,789
YOUR MOTHER AND I,
WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
200
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,702
THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
201
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,365
P.J., WE'VE BEEN KEEPING
A SECRET FROM YOU.
202
00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:40,068
- WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S ABOUT YOUR NAME.
203
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:43,970
OKAY, AS YOU KNOW,
204
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,484
YOU WERE NAMED AFTER
YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER--
PATRICK JOHN.
205
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,736
YEAH. EVERYBODY
CALLED HIM PADDY JOHN.
206
00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:51,179
YEAH, OKAY, HERE'S
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.
207
00:11:52,983 --> 00:11:56,323
WHEN YOU WERE BORN,
208
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,916
I FILLED OUT THE PAPERS
209
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:01,148
AND I WAS REALLY NERVOUS
210
00:12:01,151 --> 00:12:04,901
AND I THINK MY HAND
WAS SHAKING A LITTLE,
211
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,795
AND-- HERE.
212
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,800
THAT IS YOUR LEGAL
BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
213
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:23,840
- THAT'S WHAT P.J.
STANDS FOR?
- I'M AFRAID SO.
214
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,024
MY NAME IS "POTTY JOHN"?
215
00:12:29,479 --> 00:12:32,249
LEGALLY, YES.
216
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:36,062
POTTY JOHN.
217
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,286
I'M NAMED
AFTER TWO TOILETS.
218
00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:42,289
LEGALLY, YEAH.
219
00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:44,942
AND YOU NEVER BOTHERED
TO FIX THIS?
220
00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:47,865
WE ALWAYS MEANT TO.
WE JUST NEVER GOT
AROUND TO IT.
221
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,368
KIND OF LIKE
THE UPSTAIRS POTTY, HUH?
222
00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,984
TOO SOON?
223
00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,155
SO YOUR DAD AND I
WERE TALKING.
224
00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:11,017
AND WE FEEL REALLY BAD
THAT YOU HAVE TO GO
TO WORK EVERY DAY
225
00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:13,521
AND KISS THAT
HORRIBLE SPENCER.
226
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,873
YEAH.
227
00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:18,866
HORRIBLE'S
KIND OF A STRONG WORD.
228
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,970
ANYWAY,
SINCE THE ONLY REASON
229
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:26,183
YOU'RE DOING THIS IS
TO GET MONEY FOR A CAR,
230
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:30,076
WELL, COME WITH ME.
231
00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:39,517
- TA-DA!
- WHAT'S THIS?
232
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,349
IT'S YOUR NEW CAR.
233
00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:43,491
SHUT UP!
234
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:46,063
ONE OF THE OTHER
NURSES WAS SELLING IT.
I GOT A GREAT PRICE.
235
00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:47,396
NOW IT'S ALL YOURS.
236
00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:50,197
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
237
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,130
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
238
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,932
GET IN.
239
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,574
AND THE BEST PART IS
NOW YOU CAN QUIT YOUR JOB
240
00:13:56,566 --> 00:13:59,536
SO THAT YOU NEVER
HAVE TO GO NEAR THAT
JERK SPENCER EVER AGAIN.
241
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,539
YAY.
242
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,442
YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A NAME.
243
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,954
I KNOW.
244
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,847
HOW ABOUT
"THE NOW I DON'T
245
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,448
HAVE TO KISS SPENCER
ANYMORE MOBILE"?
246
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,451
OR "ED."
247
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,464
I KIND OF LIKE ED.
248
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,262
COME ON IN, GUYS.
249
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,504
RIGHT THIS WAY.
250
00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:29,566
THE FUN BEGINS
IN A MINUTE.
251
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,469
- GABE.
- YEAH.
252
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,441
WHO ARE THESE KIDS?
I'VE NEVER SEEN
THEM BEFORE.
253
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,913
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM
BECAUSE THESE ARE THE KIDS
254
00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:39,546
THAT NEVER GET
INVITED ANYWHERE.
255
00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:42,979
OKAY, SO WHY ARE THEY HERE?
WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
256
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,163
THE SATISFACTION
OF BRINGING JOY
257
00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:49,286
TO A FEW SAD MISFITS.
258
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,059
- EXCUSE ME.
- YEAH.
259
00:14:51,061 --> 00:14:55,001
DO I GIVE YOU THE $20 NOW
OR WHEN THE PLAY DATE'S OVER?
260
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,595
- NOW'S GOOD.
- AWESOME.
261
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,497
GABE.
262
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,671
DID YOU SEE THE SMILE
ON THE LITTLE SCAMP'S FACE?
263
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:15,251
MOM, I HAD THE CRAZIEST
DREAM LAST NIGHT.
264
00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:17,415
ME TOO.
265
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,417
I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
ONLY I HAD WINGS.
266
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,949
AND ALL THE CHEERLEADERS
WERE REALLY JEALOUS
267
00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:23,491
BECAUSE I KEPT FLYING
AROUND DURING OUR ROUTINE.
268
00:15:23,493 --> 00:15:26,403
THEN OUT OF NOWHERE,
LADY GAGA APPEARS, THROWS
A SHOE AT ME--
269
00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:29,996
OKAY, MOM,
CAN WE STAY ON ME?
270
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,300
ANYWAY,
IN MY CRAZY DREAM,
271
00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:36,043
SPENCER AND I
GOT BACK TOGETHER,
272
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,206
AND THEN
YOU GUYS FOUND OUT,
273
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,508
AND YOU TOOK MY CAR AWAY.
274
00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:43,010
WELL, DUH.
275
00:15:43,013 --> 00:15:46,223
YOU KNOW, TEDDY,
MY DREAMS ARE A LOT MORE
ENTERTAINING THAN YOURS.
276
00:15:49,079 --> 00:15:51,219
MOM, I HAVE TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
277
00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:53,551
DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS
CAR HAS SATELLITE RADIO?
278
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,393
- IT DOES?
- MM-HMM.
279
00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:57,685
OVER A HUNDRED STATIONS.
280
00:15:57,687 --> 00:15:59,627
YOU WERE SAYING?
281
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:01,629
RIGHT.
RIGHT, OKAY.
282
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:04,031
UM, HERE'S THE THING--
283
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:06,044
IS THAT AN MP3 HOOKUP?
284
00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:09,636
THIS BABY'S FULLY-LOADED.
285
00:16:09,639 --> 00:16:12,669
OH, MAN, YOU ARE NOT
MAKING THIS EASIER.
286
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:17,084
SPEAKING OF MAKING
THINGS EASIER, BA-BAM!
287
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,107
YOUR VERY OWN GAS CARD.
288
00:16:19,109 --> 00:16:21,749
OH.
289
00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:25,491
AND SO YOU DON'T
GET LOST, BA-BAM!
290
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,655
YOUR VERY OWN GPS.
291
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,220
NOW WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME?
292
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:36,773
MOM, I WANTED TO TELL YOU
THAT I'M IN LOVE...
293
00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:39,628
WITH ED.
294
00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:50,237
ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS FROM GABE.
295
00:16:52,182 --> 00:16:54,782
A $10 GIFT CARD
FOR FROZEN YOGURT.
296
00:16:54,784 --> 00:16:57,494
THERE'S PROBABLY ABOUT
$6 LEFT ON IT.
297
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,549
I WAS FEELING SNACKY.
298
00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:04,591
OKAY, HERE'S MINE.
299
00:17:04,594 --> 00:17:06,764
OKAY.
300
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,499
IT'S A JOURNAL
FOR YOUR TRIP TO MEXICO.
301
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:14,031
EVERY DAY YOU CAN WRITE
WHAT YOU DID, WHAT YOU SAW,
302
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,713
HOW YOU FELT ABOUT IT.
303
00:17:15,705 --> 00:17:17,665
- I LOVE IT.
- YEAH.
304
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:20,667
YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN
TO GET A GIFT RECEIPT
FOR THIS, DID YOU?
305
00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,740
NO.
306
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,682
OKAY, HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
FROM MOM AND DAD.
307
00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:27,715
ALL RIGHT.
308
00:17:29,479 --> 00:17:32,679
OH, WOW.
GUYS, THIS IS SO GENEROUS.
309
00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,682
IT'S JUST A LITTLE SPENDING
MONEY FOR MEXICO.
310
00:17:34,684 --> 00:17:36,794
ENJOY YOURDINERO.
311
00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:38,486
DO I HAVE TO SPEND IT
ONDINERO?
312
00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:41,228
CAN I USE IT
FOR BREAKFAST-O OR LUNCH-O?
313
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,432
SWEETIE,
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN THERE,
314
00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:45,774
STAY CLOSE
TO THE TEACHER.
315
00:17:47,437 --> 00:17:51,167
THERE IS ONE MORE THING
WE GOT YOU.
316
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,641
WENT DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE
THIS MORNING.
317
00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:55,412
FINALLY GOT YOUR
BIRTH CERTIFICATE FIXED.
318
00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:58,475
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY
P.J. DUNCAN.
319
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,610
DAD, DID YOU
DOUBLE-CHECK THIS?
320
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,582
NO. WHY?
321
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,824
HOW COULD ANYBODY POSSIBLY
MESS UP P.J.?
322
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:10,256
DON'T ASK ME.
ACCORDING TO THIS,
MY NAME'S P.P. DUNCAN.
323
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,660
( laughing )
324
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,333
THE JOURNAL'S NOT
LOOKING SO BAD NOW,
325
00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:18,096
IS IT?
326
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,627
WELL, LOOKS LIKE THAT'S
ALL THE PRESENTS, P.P.
327
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,200
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
328
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,212
WAIT, THERE'S ONE LEFT.
THIS SAYS IT'S FROM CHARLIE.
329
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:28,735
CHARLIE?
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
GET ME ANYTHING.
330
00:18:28,738 --> 00:18:31,678
WHAT? A NEW GUITAR.
331
00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:34,711
THAT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED.
HOW'D YOU GUYS KNOW?
332
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,294
( indistinct )
333
00:18:38,288 --> 00:18:40,488
THIS IS SO COOL.
334
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,693
HEY, GABE.
335
00:18:46,296 --> 00:18:48,826
HOW YOU LIKING
THAT NEW Z-CUBE?
336
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,798
I DECIDED NOT TO GET IT.
337
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,400
THE Z-CUBE 7'S
COMING OUT SOON.
338
00:18:53,403 --> 00:18:57,143
YOU USED THAT MONEY
TO BUY THAT NEW GUITAR
FOR YOUR BROTHER.
339
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,836
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
340
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,739
- COME ON, GABE.
- ALL RIGHT.
341
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,822
IF YOU TELL ANYBODY
ABOUT THIS, I WILL
NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
342
00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:08,616
WHY WOULD YOU WANNA
KEEP THIS A SECRET?
343
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:12,449
BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE
PEOPLE THINKING
344
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,182
THAT I'VE GONE SOFT
345
00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:17,794
OR THAT I LOVE MY BROTHER.
346
00:19:17,787 --> 00:19:21,557
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
YOUR SECRET IS SAFE
WITH ME.
347
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,331
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD KID.
348
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:28,495
SEE, THAT'S THE EXACT KIND OF
TALK I WAS AFRAID OF.
349
00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:38,775
- HEY, GUYS.
- HI, HONEY.
350
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,550
THERE ARE THE KEYS TO ED.
I'M GIVING HIM BACK.
351
00:19:43,553 --> 00:19:45,893
WHAT? WHY?
352
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,415
BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE HIM BACK ANYWAY.
353
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,218
WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?
354
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:53,360
THERE'S A SECRET I'VE BEEN
KEEPING FROM YOU GUYS.
355
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,774
COME ON IN.
356
00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:00,228
HI, MR. AND MRS. DUNCAN.
357
00:20:01,631 --> 00:20:04,731
SPENCER AND I
ARE DATING AGAIN.
358
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,705
AT FIRST, I DIDN'T
WANNA TELL YOU GUYS
359
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,937
BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID THAT YOU
WOULD TAKE AWAY THE CAR.
360
00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:11,879
I FIGURED THAT I HAD
A CHOICE TO MAKE,
361
00:20:11,881 --> 00:20:13,641
EITHER ED OR SPENCER.
362
00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,593
SO AFTER THINKING
ABOUT IT FOR A LONG TIME--
363
00:20:15,585 --> 00:20:17,785
A REALLY LONG TIME.
364
00:20:19,889 --> 00:20:23,649
I CHOSE SPENCER.
I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE.
365
00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:27,663
SO WE'RE BACK TOGETHER NOW
AND I'M VERY HAPPY.
366
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,398
WELL...
367
00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:34,501
I'M JUST GLAD YOU COULD
BE HONEST WITH US.
368
00:20:34,504 --> 00:20:36,944
AND IF YOU'RE HAPPY,
369
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,266
I GUESS THAT'S ALL
THAT REALLY MATTERS.
370
00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:40,909
THANKS.
371
00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:47,824
WHAT? YOU'RE LETTING ME
KEEP THE CAR?
372
00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:50,017
WE'RE LETTING YOU
PAY FOR THE CAR.
373
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,981
WITH THE JOB THAT
YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP.
374
00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,494
FAIR ENOUGH.
375
00:20:58,888 --> 00:21:01,828
WELCOME BACK
TO THE FAMILY, SPENCER.
376
00:21:01,831 --> 00:21:05,971
AND IF YOU EVER
377
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,935
HURT MY LITTLE GIRL AGAIN...
378
00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:11,038
BA-BAM!
379
00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:22,979
Hey, Charlie,
so big news.
380
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:26,492
This week
I got a new old boyfriend
named Spencer
381
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,916
and an old new car
named Ed.
382
00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:32,418
Someday, if I take good care
of him, you can have him.
383
00:21:32,422 --> 00:21:36,432
Oh, Ed, not Spencer.
That'd just be weird.
384
00:21:36,426 --> 00:21:39,526
- Excuse me.
- Who are you?
385
00:21:39,529 --> 00:21:42,529
I'm Elliot. I paid Gabe
for another play date.
386
00:21:42,532 --> 00:21:44,032
We're playing
hide and seek,
387
00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:47,513
and I've been hiding
for almost five hours.
388
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,637
Gabe went
to baseball practice.
389
00:21:49,639 --> 00:21:53,039
Oh, I'll wait.
390
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:55,042
Well...
391
00:21:55,044 --> 00:21:57,854
I guess there's
only one thing left to say.
392
00:21:57,847 --> 00:22:01,017
Oh, hey! You're here.
Why don't you say it?
393
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,020
Good luck, Charlie.
394
00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:16,042
Man's voice:
Teddy.
395
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,535
WHO SAID THAT?
396
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,907
It's me, your car.
397
00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,940
ED, YOU CAN TALK?
398
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:27,052
I prefer Edward
and yes.
399
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,946
SO I HAVE A TALKING CAR?
400
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,679
DOES THAT MEAN WE'RE
GONNA GO ON ADVENTURES
AND SOLVE CRIMES AND STUFF?
401
00:22:33,683 --> 00:22:37,063
Well, that sounds
kind of dangerous.
402
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,426
I thought we'd just
drive carefully
403
00:22:39,429 --> 00:22:42,989
and stay within
the speed limit and stuff.
404
00:22:42,992 --> 00:22:47,002
OH, MAN, SO I HAVE
A TALKING CAR WHO'S BORING?
405
00:22:46,996 --> 00:22:50,636
Oh, one other thing
I have to tell you--
406
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,640
I don't feel so good.
( coughs, retches )
407
00:22:54,644 --> 00:22:56,614
( engine shuts down )
408
00:22:56,606 --> 00:23:00,606
ED, EDWARD.
EDWARD, TALK TO ME!
409
00:23:00,610 --> 00:23:03,950
-Gotcha!
-( engine starts )
410
00:23:03,953 --> 00:23:06,693
Not so boring now, am I?
29289
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