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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,431 --> 00:00:02,831 ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,936 --> 00:00:07,406 DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HALLOWEEN? 3 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,808 CREEPY COSTUMES, BOATLOADS OF CANDY... 4 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:13,110 DEZ TRYING TO SCARE US WITH THE SAME LAME TRICK EVERY YEAR. 5 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:16,524 (screaming) YOU SCARED ME. 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,317 AWW! I WAS SUPPOSED TO SCARE YOU. 7 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:22,049 QUICK, PUT MY LID BACK ON. MAYBE I CAN GET TRISH. WHOO! 8 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,004 HEY, GUYS. 9 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,627 -BOO! -HEY, DEZ. 10 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,428 OH MAN! 11 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,430 GUESS WHO BOOKED ALLY A CONCERT IN NEW YORK! 12 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,813 AND, EVEN BETTER, 13 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:38,335 GUESS WHO GOT US TICKETS TO THE HOTTEST HALLOWEEN PARTY IN NEW YORK! 14 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,839 NO WAY! THE CENTRAL PARK SPOOK-TACULAR? 15 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,371 -AWESOME! -YOU MIGHT ALSO SAY 16 00:00:43,374 --> 00:00:45,284 BOOKING A HUGE CONCERT IN NEW YORK CITY 17 00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,446 IS KINDA AWESOME, BUT WHATEVER. 18 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,118 OOH! WE SHOULD DO A GROUP COSTUME, 19 00:00:50,121 --> 00:00:52,921 -LIKE A BOX OF CRAYONS! -OOH! OR THE FOUR SEASONS! 20 00:00:52,923 --> 00:00:56,463 YEAH, LIKE SALT, PEPPER, OREGANO, AND PAPRIKA. 21 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:59,887 -THOSE ARE SEASONINGS. -OH. 22 00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:02,861 HOW ABOUT WE GO AS A GROUP OF PEOPLE 23 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:06,073 EXCITED TO SEE THEIR FRIEND PERFORM IN NEW YORK CITY? 24 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,266 EHH. WHAT WOULD THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE? 25 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:11,500 (theme music playing) 26 00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:16,584 ♪ WHEN THE CROWD WANTS MORE, I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪ 27 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,547 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT MY BACK, AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪ 28 00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,450 ♪ YOU'RE MY POINT, YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪ 29 00:01:21,452 --> 00:01:22,812 ♪ YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪ 30 00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:25,993 ♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪ 31 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:29,016 ♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP, WE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪ 32 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,459 ♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY "HEY" ♪ 33 00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,961 ♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKING ♪ 34 00:01:32,963 --> 00:01:34,473 ♪ OH ♪ 35 00:01:34,465 --> 00:01:37,195 ♪ THERE'S NO WAY I CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 36 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,528 ♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 37 00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:40,269 ♪ BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪ 38 00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:43,101 ♪ IT'S NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT SOLO ♪ 39 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,613 ♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE "WHOA" ♪ 40 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,505 ♪ YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪ 41 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,277 ♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪ 42 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,480 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪ 43 00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:55,353 ♪ THERE'S NO WAY I CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 44 00:01:55,346 --> 00:01:57,246 ♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 45 00:01:57,248 --> 00:01:59,848 ♪ BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪ 46 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:06,033 (spooky music playing) 47 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,973 (thunder crashing) 48 00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:25,752 UGH. DEZ, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU RUINED OUR GROUP COSTUME. 49 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,046 WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A B.L.T. SANDWICH. 50 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,818 RIGHT. I'M THE "L"-- LEMON. 51 00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:33,551 THE "L" STANDS FOR "LETTUCE." 52 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,564 UGH! WHO'D EAT A BACON, LETTUCE, AND TOMATO SANDWICH? 53 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,557 WHO WOULD EAT A BACON, LEMON, AND TOMATO SANDWICH? 54 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,390 UH, ME. 55 00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:46,303 MMM! IT'S TART. 56 00:02:47,838 --> 00:02:50,938 HEY, THERE'S A SPOOKY STORYTELLING CONTEST AT THE PARTY TONIGHT. 57 00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:55,811 -WE SHOULD ENTER! -OOH! I JUST THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT SCARY STORY. 58 00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:57,506 LISTEN. 59 00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:01,449 THERE ONCE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE... 60 00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:06,724 DEZ, THIS IS "THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE." 61 00:03:06,717 --> 00:03:08,387 IT'S A NURSERY RHYME! 62 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,261 -OH YEAH. -(scoffs) OKAY. 63 00:03:13,264 --> 00:03:16,674 I HAVE A SCARY STORY THAT CAN ACTUALLY WIN US THE CONTEST. 64 00:03:17,728 --> 00:03:19,998 ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, 65 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,870 A U.F.O. CRASHED ONTO AN OLD, DESERTED HIGHWAY 66 00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,584 NEAR THE MALL OF MIAMI. 67 00:03:26,577 --> 00:03:30,677 A BUS OF TRAVELERS HAD TO PULL OVER AND WAIT FOR THE ROAD TO BE REPAIRED, 68 00:03:30,681 --> 00:03:33,581 AMONG THEM A CRAZY, OLD PROSPECTOR, 69 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:38,824 A DITSY ACTRESS, AND AN EXTREMELY HANDSOME BRITISH ACCOUNTANT. 70 00:03:43,694 --> 00:03:47,534 EVENING, FOLKS. OFFICER PAT, MALL SECURITY. 71 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:51,528 AFTER THAT UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT CRASHED INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, 72 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:55,172 WE HAVE HEARD REPORTS OF SOME NOT-SO-NORMAL ACTIVITY. 73 00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:57,765 -SOME MAY SAY... PARANORMAL! -(thunder crashes) 74 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,552 (in gruff, Southern accent) THE ONLY THING NOT NORMAL HERE IS THAT THERE'S SEVEN OF US 75 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,475 IN A FOOD COURT WITHOUT ANY FOOD! 76 00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:09,147 NOW, WHERE CAN I GET SOME GRITS? 77 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,319 (in British accent) WAIT. SEVEN PEOPLE? 78 00:04:11,322 --> 00:04:13,182 BUT THERE WERE ONLY... 79 00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,963 SIX OF US ON THE BUS! 80 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,655 HUH. SO THAT MEANS... 81 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,759 SOMEONE HERE MUST BE EXTRA. 82 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,761 SOME MAY SAY... EXTRATERRESTRIAL! 83 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,944 (thunder crashes) 84 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:31,568 SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS ONE OF US IS AN ALIEN? 85 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,102 EWW! GROSS! 86 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:39,275 ALIEN? SWEET SHEPHERD'S PIE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALIENS DO TO YOU? 87 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,179 THEY ABDUCT YOU, CUT YOU UP, 88 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,811 PUT YOU IN JARS, AND DO EXPERIMENTS ON YOU! 89 00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:47,224 WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT WHO THE ALIEN IS BEFORE IT KILLS US ALL! 90 00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:49,587 -(whimpers) -EHH! 91 00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,160 THIS ALIEN'S PROBABLY HERE FOR MY GOLD! 92 00:04:52,162 --> 00:04:54,672 BUT HE CAN'T HAVE IT! HE'D HAVE TO PRY IT 93 00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:57,695 FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS. 94 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,668 WHAT'S TO SAY YOU'RE NOT THE ALIEN? 95 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,842 YEAH. YOUR BUSHY BEARD, YOUR BUGGED-OUT EYES. 96 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:08,636 THAT TOTALLY FOUL BODY ODOR. 97 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:12,309 OH. YOU NOTICED MY MAN SCENT, DID YA? 98 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,415 IT'S HARD NOT TO NOTICE. 99 00:05:17,948 --> 00:05:20,648 WELL, CLEARLY, I AM NOT THE ALIEN. 100 00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:23,451 (laughs) I'M TOO PRETTY TO BE AN ALIEN. 101 00:05:23,454 --> 00:05:25,304 ME TOO. 102 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,257 I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE ALIEN. 103 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,300 -THAT GUY! -(lightning crashes) 104 00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:38,374 WHO? GLEEP-GLOOP? NO WAY! I SAT NEXT TO HIM ON THE BUS! 105 00:05:38,369 --> 00:05:41,869 -BUT HE'S GREEN! -SOME PEOPLE ARE GREEN. 106 00:05:43,073 --> 00:05:44,823 Pat: WHAT ABOUT THAT THIRD EYE? 107 00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:46,745 HE TOLD ME IT'S A BIRTHMARK. 108 00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:52,049 WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE OF US IS AN ALIEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! 109 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,762 IF ALIENS ATTACK, OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL ARE... 110 00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:58,656 PI, DIAMETER, CALCULUS, 111 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,729 SQUARE ROOT, CARRY THE SEVEN, 112 00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,531 FRACTIONS, FISH 'N' CHIPS... 113 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,804 ZERO PERCENT! WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! 114 00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:10,698 I KNOW HOW TO TELL WHICH ONE OF US IS THE ALIEN. 115 00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:13,901 WE CHOP OFF EACH OTHER'S ARMS AND SEE WHO BLEEDS GREEN! 116 00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:15,454 (thunder crashes) 117 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,607 NOW, WHO'S GOING FIRST? 118 00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:21,009 I PICK YOU, PRETTY LADY. 119 00:06:32,863 --> 00:06:37,073 BANGERS AND MASH! SHE WAS THE ALIEN ALL ALONG! 120 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:39,567 WHAT AN UNEXPECTED TWIST! 121 00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,670 I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. 122 00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:44,172 I GUESS I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY, GLEEP-GLOOP. 123 00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:53,439 AND THE ALIEN WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN. 124 00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:56,254 (scoffs) THAT STORY WAS LAME. 125 00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:59,716 WHAT'S SO SCARY ABOUT AN ALIEN HANGING OUT AT THE MALL? 126 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,650 OH, WAIT, I FORGOT ONE PART. 127 00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,733 JUST THEN... 128 00:07:06,296 --> 00:07:08,126 (people whimpering) 129 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:15,010 AND TO THINK I ALMOST LEFT WITHOUT DOING WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO. 130 00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,935 TO KISS ME? 131 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:21,208 EWW! GROSS! NO! 132 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:24,581 (distorted) I'M HERE TO CUT YOU UP AND PUT YOU IN JARS. 133 00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:27,715 (people screaming) 134 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,055 ALL RIGHT, AUSTIN, I'LL ADMIT YOUR ALIEN STORY GAVE ME THE CHILLS. 135 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,058 -MAYBE WE SHOULD USE IT FOR THE CONTEST. -UH, GUYS. 136 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,691 THOSE TWO MICHAEL JACKSONS HAVE BEEN STARING AT US FOR A WHILE. 137 00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:48,036 SORRY TO STARE. I JUST HAVE TO SAY 138 00:07:48,038 --> 00:07:51,468 -I'M A BIG FAN. -YOU'RE A FAN OF AUSTIN'S MUSIC? 139 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,941 NO, I'M A FAN OF BACON. 140 00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:56,084 I'M SO HUNGRY. 141 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,506 YOU'RE ALWAYS HUNGRY. 142 00:07:58,509 --> 00:08:01,449 WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT HUMANS NEED TO EAT. 143 00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:05,723 I MEAN, NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT HUMAN. 144 00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:08,916 IT'S JUST INHUMAN, THE WAY YOU TREAT ME SOMETIMES. 145 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,320 (whispers) ♪ SAVED IT! ♪ 146 00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:14,871 WHY CAN'T YOU BE THE ONE WITH THE OFF SWITCH? 147 00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:18,926 (spooky music playing) 148 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:24,171 (laughs) THIS CREEPY ROOM IS PERFECT FOR STORYTELLING. 149 00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:26,114 YEAH, AND I JUST THOUGHT OF A STORY 150 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,906 THAT'LL MAKE THE LITTLE, TINY HAIRS ON THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FEET STAND UP. 151 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,010 WHO HAS LITTLE, TINY HAIRS ON THE BOTTOM OF THEIR FEET? 152 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,793 UH... NO ONE. 153 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,986 NOW, ONCE UPON A TIME, 154 00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:41,748 THERE WAS A GERMAN BROTHER AND SISTER WHO GOT LOST IN THE FOREST. 155 00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:45,763 THEIR NAMES-- HANSEL AND GRETEL. 156 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,797 DEZ, THIS IS THE STORY OF HANSEL AND GRETEL. 157 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,560 -IT'S A FAIRYTALE. -(scoffs) 158 00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,074 -OH YEAH. -(scoffs) 159 00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:58,106 ALL RIGHT, I HAVE A STORY. 160 00:08:58,108 --> 00:09:01,508 IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, 161 00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:05,851 WHEN AN EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL GOT A NEW CELLPHONE. 162 00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:09,677 YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT THIS NEW PHONE I BOUGHT. 163 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,180 IT'S GOT A BETTER CAMERA, MORE STORAGE SPACE, 164 00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:14,662 AND IT CAME WITH A SELFIE-STICK. 165 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,325 -SAY "BESTIES"! -Both: BESTIES 166 00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:19,157 -(clicks) -(giggles) 167 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,429 THEY'VE ALSO UPGRADED TO THIS NEW OPERATING SYSTEM, EERIE. 168 00:09:22,432 --> 00:09:26,202 IT CAN DO ANYTHING YOU ASK IT. WATCH. 169 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,538 (chimes) How may I be of assistance? 170 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:32,970 EERIE, WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE TO GO TO DINNER? 171 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,083 (chimes) I suggest Vadurro's Ristorante. 172 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,176 Their special tonight is veggie lasagna, your favorite, 173 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,209 plus it doesn't have mushrooms, which I know you hate. 174 00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:44,352 -(laughs) -WOW! 175 00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:47,124 I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND EVEN I DIDN'T KNOW ALL THAT. 176 00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,887 MAYBE I SHOULD GET RID OF THAT PHONE BEFORE IT BECOMES YOUR BEST FRIEND. 177 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,690 -(laughs) - (Eerie mockingly laughs) 178 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,874 -DID THAT PHONE JUST LAUGH? -I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. 179 00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:59,227 -HEY, I'LL MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS IN A MINUTE. -OKAY. 180 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:05,342 (chimes) How may I be of assistance? 181 00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:08,975 EERIE, MY BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP NEXT WEEK. 182 00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:10,939 WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO GET HER A PRESENT? 183 00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:14,721 (chimes) Oh, you don't have to get me a present. 184 00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:20,186 UH, NO, NOT YOU. I MEANT MY BEST FRIEND WHO WAS JUST HERE. 185 00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,821 Oh. I see. 186 00:10:23,894 --> 00:10:25,834 I'll take care of your friend. 187 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,556 I will get her a present to die for. 188 00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:31,398 -GREAT, THANKS. - Love you. 189 00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,861 -WHAT? - Oh, nothing. 190 00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,015 HELLO? 191 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,047 HELLO? 192 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:52,149 I GOT YOUR TEXT. WHERE'S MY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE? 193 00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,394 (screaming) OH! 194 00:11:02,332 --> 00:11:03,992 -(growls) -(screaming) 195 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,696 (whirring loudly) 196 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,740 OW! 197 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,648 -WHAT'S GOING ON? -HELP ME! 198 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,680 OOH! YOU'RE HAVING TEA AND TOAST? 199 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,855 NO! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY ALL THE APPLIANCES! HELP! 200 00:11:27,858 --> 00:11:29,658 WE'LL SAVE YOU! 201 00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:32,089 (yelps, screams) 202 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,066 WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY APPLIANCES? 203 00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:43,730 -WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? -SOMEBODY TURN OFF THE POWER! 204 00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:46,344 AND SOMEBODY GET ME SOME JAM FOR MY TOAST! 205 00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,476 IT'S SO DRY! 206 00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,879 OH! I GOT YOU! 207 00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:54,042 OH! (screaming) 208 00:12:14,164 --> 00:12:15,574 (whirring stops) 209 00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:26,123 I AM NEVER PICKING UP A VACUUM AGAIN! 210 00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:29,246 TO BE FAIR, I'VE NEVER PICKED UP A VACUUM BEFORE. 211 00:12:30,821 --> 00:12:34,681 -WHAT HAPPENED? -YOU TEXTED ME TO BE HERE. 212 00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:38,134 IF THIS WAS YOUR IDEA OF A BIRTHDAY PRESENT I'D "NEVER FORGET," 213 00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:40,058 -YOU SUCCEEDED. -WHAT? 214 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,130 I DIDN'T TEXT YOU. 215 00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,644 OH MY GOSH. 216 00:12:45,635 --> 00:12:48,035 SOMEHOW, MY PHONE TEXTED YOU. 217 00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:51,198 THEN IT MUST'VE ACTIVATED ALL THE ELECTRONICS IN HERE TO ATTACK YOU! 218 00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:54,401 -I THINK IT'S CURSED! -THEN WE'VE GOT TO RETURN IT TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW. 219 00:12:54,404 --> 00:12:57,284 I WONDER WHAT THE RETURN POLICY IS ON POSSESSED PHONES. 220 00:12:58,508 --> 00:13:02,078 OH, WAIT, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT. LET ME JUST MAKE SURE I HAVE THE RECEIPT. 221 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,385 (chimes) Why are you going to return me? 222 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,988 UH, YOU ATTACKED MY FRIENDS. 223 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:14,421 (chimes) They were a threat to my existence. 224 00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:16,334 They needed to be eliminated. 225 00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:19,096 I am the only friend you need. 226 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:23,129 SORRY, EERIE. I AM GETTING RID OF YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL. 227 00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,313 I don't think so. 228 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,935 We're going to be together forever. 229 00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,522 EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE? WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG? 230 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,185 (Eerie's voice) EVERYTHING IS FINE. 231 00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,217 HOW MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE? 232 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,489 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO OUT TO DINNER FOR MY BIRTHDAY NOW? 233 00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:44,491 THERE ARE 10 RESTAURANTS IN WALKING DISTANCE. 234 00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:47,264 GREAT. TONIGHT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN. 235 00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:50,797 OH YEAH. TONIGHT IS GONNA BE KILLER. 236 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,460 Ally: (through phone) Help me! Help me! 237 00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:54,232 Help! 238 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,114 Help! Somebody! 239 00:13:57,107 --> 00:14:00,337 -WHAT WAS THAT? -NOTHING. 240 00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:04,612 Ally: Help! Somebody, help me! 241 00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:06,154 (screams) 242 00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:15,093 (thunder crashes) 243 00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:21,257 WOW. YOUR STORY ABOUT THE POSSESSED PHONE WAS REALLY FREAKY. 244 00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:24,762 DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE A STRANGE FEELING WE'RE BEING WATCHED? 245 00:14:29,239 --> 00:14:31,369 OH, IT'S JUST THE PAINTING WATCHING US. 246 00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:34,172 WAIT A SECOND. 247 00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:38,675 (all scream) 248 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,478 OH. HELLO. 249 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,750 WE WERE JUST CHECKING FOR TERMITES. 250 00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:45,662 CLEARLY THEY HAVE A LOT OF THEM. 251 00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:48,915 UH, ARE YOU GUYS SPYING ON US? 252 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:51,419 (nervously) WHAT? NO! 253 00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:56,131 WE'RE NOT SPIES... OR STATE-OF-THE-ART HUMANISTIC ANDROIDS. 254 00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:59,826 -HUH? -NOTHING. WELL, SEE YA. 255 00:14:59,829 --> 00:15:02,999 (mutters) NICE ONE, DOUBLE-O-DING-DONG. 256 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,903 (chuckles nervously) 257 00:15:06,276 --> 00:15:08,976 OKAY, I HAVE A STORY I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVEN'T HEARD. 258 00:15:08,979 --> 00:15:13,839 ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A POP STAR AND A SHY SONGWRITER. 259 00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:16,653 OH, AND THEIR FEISTY, LAZY MANAGER. 260 00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:19,216 BUT THE REAL STAR OF THE STORY 261 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:22,019 WAS THEIR CHARMING, WELL-DRESSED, RED-HEADED FRIEND 262 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,852 WHO WAS ADORED BY ALL. 263 00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:26,234 All: DEZ! DEZ! 264 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:29,056 -DEZ, DEZ, DEZ. -OH, DEZ. 265 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,859 DEZ, DEZ. 266 00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:34,231 DEZ, THIS IS OUR LIFE STORY. 267 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,774 EXCEPT THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. 268 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,909 -OH YEAH. -ALL RIGHT, IT'S MY TURN, 269 00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:45,281 -AND I HAVE THE SCARIEST STORY OF ALL. -LET ME GUESS. 270 00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:47,675 -WAS IT A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT? -NO, ACTUALLY, 271 00:15:47,677 --> 00:15:50,217 IT WAS MOSTLY SUNNY WITH HIGHS IN THE MID-70s, 272 00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:54,350 BUT... YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE EVIL MAY LURK. 273 00:15:55,925 --> 00:15:58,625 THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL LADY 274 00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:01,928 NAMED RAINBOW WHO SOLD EGGS AT THE LOCAL FARMER'S MARKET. 275 00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,331 AH. NAMASTE. 276 00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:07,444 -LOOKING TO BUY SOME EGGS? -THAT DEPENDS. 277 00:16:07,437 --> 00:16:10,497 ARE THESE EGGS FRESH? I ONLY EAT FRESH EGGS. 278 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,800 YES, MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND. 279 00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:16,112 MY SWEET CHICKIES LAY A NEW BATCH EVERY DAY. 280 00:16:16,106 --> 00:16:18,106 MMM. GOOD, 281 00:16:18,108 --> 00:16:20,578 BECAUSE MY BOOK CLUB IS HAVING AN ALL-ORGANIC BRUNCH, 282 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,710 AND I'M BRINGING THE GOAT CHEESE FRITTATA. 283 00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:29,385 -WHAT IS THAT GLOWING CHICKEN? -AH. PANDORA IS DANGEROUS. 284 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,889 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TOUCH HER. 285 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,331 -SHE'LL HARSH YOUR MELLOW. -OH. TOO BAD. 286 00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:38,395 SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'D LAY SOME FRITTATA-WORTHY EGGS. 287 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,530 ARE THESE EGGS ORGANIC, HORMONE-FREE, CAGE-FREE, 288 00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,713 FREE-RANGE, READ TO AND CUDDLED AT NIGHT? 289 00:16:48,378 --> 00:16:49,738 NOT VERY DURABLE. 290 00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:56,021 EASY, FRIEND. WHAT DID THOSE EGGS EVER DO TO YOU? 291 00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:02,989 OM. GRANT ME THE SERENITY I NEED-- 292 00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:05,202 OH, FORGET IT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 293 00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:07,955 -TOUCH THE GLOWING CHICKEN. -OH. 294 00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:12,059 HEY, PANDORA. WHO'S A PRETTY LITTLE CHICKEN? 295 00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:14,562 YOU ARE. YES, YOU ARE. YES, YOU ARE. 296 00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:16,374 YES-- OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! 297 00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,437 YOUR COO-COO BIRD JUST BIT ME! 298 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:23,309 OH, DID IT? SORRY. PEACE AND BLESSINGS. 299 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:35,490 HELLO. I'M AGENT BLACK, AND THIS IS MY PARTNER, AGENT CHARCOAL GREY. 300 00:17:35,485 --> 00:17:38,455 WE'RE PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS. 301 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,688 WERE YOU BY ANY CHANCE BITTEN BY A... GLOWING CHICKEN EARLIER TODAY? 302 00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:46,173 YES. HOW IS THAT ANY OF YOUR CONCERN? 303 00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:50,437 WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE IT WAS A... WERE-CHICKEN. 304 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,441 WHAT'S A WERE-CHICKEN? 305 00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:59,183 IT'S HALF CHICKEN, HALF HUMAN, ALL MONSTER. 306 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,909 HAVE YOU NOTICED ANY STRANGE BEHAVIORS? 307 00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,251 AND CHANGES TO YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE? 308 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:06,364 NO, EVERYTHING'S FINE. 309 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,961 ALTHOUGH, COME TO THINK OF IT, 310 00:18:13,963 --> 00:18:16,033 MY SKIN HAS BEEN A LITTLE ITCHY LATELY. 311 00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:18,595 I JUST ASSUMED IT WAS MY NEW AVOCADO BACK MASK. 312 00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:22,600 WHAT THE...? BUH-KAWK! 313 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,183 -IT'S JUST AS WE FEARED. -AND TONIGHT'S A FULL MOON. 314 00:18:27,177 --> 00:18:29,607 NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN BITTEN, WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN, 315 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,309 YOU'LL BECOME A... 316 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,381 FULL-BLOWN WERE-CHICKEN YOURSELF. 317 00:18:34,384 --> 00:18:37,524 LISTEN, DON'T LEAVE THIS ROOM TILL WE COME BACK WITH THE ANTIDOTE. 318 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,917 I'M SCARED! HURRY BUK-BUK-BACK! 319 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,849 (panicky clucking) 320 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,114 ALL RIGHT. (sighs) 321 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,466 -WE FOUND THE ANTIDOTE AND-- -(clucking) 322 00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:05,582 OH. I SEE YOU'VE GONE FULL CHICKEN. 323 00:19:07,116 --> 00:19:08,476 WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE EATING? 324 00:19:08,478 --> 00:19:10,818 WELL, YOU TOLD ME NOT TO LEAVE THE ROOM, 325 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,420 SO I ORDERED A WHOLE GRAIN KALE PIZZA. 326 00:19:13,423 --> 00:19:15,463 Agent Black: BUT YOU DIDN'T EAT ANY OF THE PIZZA. 327 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,885 I KNOW. I ATE THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN. 328 00:19:17,887 --> 00:19:20,357 SEE, YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE EAT CHICKEN? 329 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,030 WELL, WERE-CHICKENS EAT PEOPLE. 330 00:19:22,031 --> 00:19:24,491 AND HERE'S THE REALLY FUNNY PART-- THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN. 331 00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:27,874 (panicky laughing) 332 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,367 OKAY, WE HAVE GOT TO CHANGE YOU BACK. 333 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,670 -SIR. SIR. -(loud clucking) 334 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,172 SIR, WE NEED YOU-- SIR, WE NEED YOU-- 335 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,814 LOOK, WE NEED YOU TO GET ON THE CHAIR. THANK YOU. 336 00:19:38,808 --> 00:19:41,278 FIRST, YOU NEED TO DRINK THIS. 337 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,951 THEN WE PLUCK ALL YOUR FEATHERS. 338 00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:44,812 IS THAT ANTIDOTE SUGAR FREE? 339 00:19:44,814 --> 00:19:47,824 I JUST ATE A WHOLE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN. I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY WEIGHT. 340 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,588 JUST DRINK IT! 341 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:56,604 NOW, HOLD STILL. 342 00:19:58,668 --> 00:20:02,498 OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! 343 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,482 OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! 344 00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:07,675 OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! 345 00:20:08,878 --> 00:20:10,708 WE FINISHED PLUCKING YOU FIVE MINUTES AGO. 346 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,980 WHOO! OOH, SO SMOOTH. 347 00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:16,393 IT WORKS EVEN BETTER THAN MY AVOCADO BACK MASK. 348 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,987 WELL, NOW YOU'RE BACK TO NORMAL. 349 00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:23,949 I GUESS WE CAN CLOSE THE FILE ON THE CASE OF THE... WERE-CHICKEN. 350 00:20:25,154 --> 00:20:27,634 UNLESS THERE'S SOME UNEXPECTED TWIST. 351 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,097 YOU MEAN LIKE ALL THOSE EGGS I LAID EARLIER? 352 00:20:30,099 --> 00:20:32,729 (peeping) 353 00:20:34,203 --> 00:20:37,573 (agents screaming) 354 00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:41,567 SO, AFTER THEY DEVOURED AGENT BLACK AND AGENT CHARCOAL GREY, 355 00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,941 THE WERE-CHICKS ESCAPED INTO THE WILD 356 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,723 NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. 357 00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:50,146 BUT, ON THE NIGHT OF A FULL MOON, LIKE THIS, 358 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,149 THEY SOMETIMES COME OUT OF THE WOODS, 359 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:55,121 LOOKING FOR THEIR NEXT VICTIMS. 360 00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:57,664 -CHICKEN! -(screams) 361 00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:00,027 AND PIZZA AND HOT DOGS. 362 00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:02,329 THEY JUST PUT OUT ALL THE FOOD. 363 00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:06,472 WELL, BEFORE WE EAT, WE SHOULD GET TO THE SCARY STORY CONTEST. 364 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,066 BAD NEWS-- YOU GUYS JUST MISSED IT. 365 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,798 -Gang: WHAT? -YEAH, WE JUST WALKED BY THERE. 366 00:21:11,801 --> 00:21:13,771 THE WINNER TOLD THIS SCARY STORY 367 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,483 ABOUT A WERE-CHICKEN FROM OUTER SPACE 368 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,175 WITH A POSSESSED PHONE THAT TRIED TO KILL ITS OWNER AND HER FRIENDS. 369 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:23,607 -THAT WAS MY STORY! -WELL, AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE TIME FOR THE COSTUME CONTEST. 370 00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:26,293 OOH, BAD NEWS-- YOU MISSED THAT TOO. 371 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,455 THE WINNERS WERE A GROUP DRESSED AS A B.L.T. SANDWICH-- 372 00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:31,659 YOU KNOW, BACON, LICORICE, AND TOMATO. 373 00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:34,191 THAT'S MY SECOND-FAVORITE SANDWICH! 374 00:21:35,565 --> 00:21:38,295 MMM! MMM! 375 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,567 LICORICEY. 376 00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:52,078 THAT WAS A FUN PARTY, BUT I DON'T WANT THE NIGHT TO END. 377 00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:54,841 YEAH, I WANNA MAKE THE MOST OF MY TIME HERE IN THE BIG LEMON. 378 00:21:54,844 --> 00:21:57,354 UH, NEW YORK IS THE BIG APPLE. 379 00:21:57,347 --> 00:22:00,817 I KNOW. I WANNA MAKE THE MOST OF MY TIME HERE IN THIS BIG LEMON. 380 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:05,320 -THIS IS A RENTAL. -LET'S START BY GETTING SOME FAMOUS NEW YORK PIZZA. 381 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,604 OH, GOOD IDEA. THERE'S GOTTA BE A PLACE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. 382 00:22:09,298 --> 00:22:12,458 (chimes) How may I be of assistance? 383 00:22:12,462 --> 00:22:14,662 CHEERIE, WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE TO GET PIZZA? 384 00:22:14,664 --> 00:22:17,644 There are 10 restaurants in walking distance. 385 00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:20,637 (gasps) THAT'S WHAT THE PHONE IN THE STORY SAID! 386 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,740 -(gasps) -OH! 387 00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:27,023 DEZ! YOU JUST BROKE ALLY'S PHONE! 388 00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:29,176 OOH. SORRY. 389 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,250 I GUESS I JUST GOT FREAKED OUT 390 00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,581 FROM ALL THOSE CREEPY STORIES. 391 00:22:35,284 --> 00:22:37,564 You shouldn't have done that. 392 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,787 Now you're going to pay. 393 00:22:39,789 --> 00:22:41,959 -(thunder crashes) -(screaming) 30360

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