Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,431 --> 00:00:02,831
♪♪
2
00:00:05,936 --> 00:00:07,406
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE
HALLOWEEN?
3
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,808
CREEPY COSTUMES,
BOATLOADS OF CANDY...
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:13,110
DEZ TRYING TO SCARE US
WITH THE SAME LAME TRICK
EVERY YEAR.
5
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:16,524
(screaming)
YOU SCARED ME.
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,317
AWW! I WAS SUPPOSED
TO SCARE YOU.
7
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:22,049
QUICK, PUT MY LID BACK ON.
MAYBE I CAN GET TRISH. WHOO!
8
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,004
HEY, GUYS.
9
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,627
-BOO!
-HEY, DEZ.
10
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,428
OH MAN!
11
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,430
GUESS WHO BOOKED ALLY
A CONCERT IN NEW YORK!
12
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,813
AND, EVEN BETTER,
13
00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:38,335
GUESS WHO GOT US
TICKETS TO THE HOTTEST
HALLOWEEN PARTY IN NEW YORK!
14
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,839
NO WAY!
THE CENTRAL PARK
SPOOK-TACULAR?
15
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,371
-AWESOME!
-YOU MIGHT ALSO SAY
16
00:00:43,374 --> 00:00:45,284
BOOKING A HUGE CONCERT
IN NEW YORK CITY
17
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,446
IS KINDA AWESOME,
BUT WHATEVER.
18
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,118
OOH! WE SHOULD
DO A GROUP COSTUME,
19
00:00:50,121 --> 00:00:52,921
-LIKE A BOX OF CRAYONS!
-OOH! OR THE FOUR SEASONS!
20
00:00:52,923 --> 00:00:56,463
YEAH, LIKE SALT, PEPPER,
OREGANO, AND PAPRIKA.
21
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:59,887
-THOSE ARE SEASONINGS.
-OH.
22
00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:02,861
HOW ABOUT WE GO
AS A GROUP OF PEOPLE
23
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:06,073
EXCITED TO SEE THEIR FRIEND
PERFORM IN NEW YORK CITY?
24
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,266
EHH. WHAT WOULD THAT
EVEN LOOK LIKE?
25
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:11,500
(theme music playing)
26
00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:16,584
♪ WHEN THE CROWD WANTS MORE,
I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪
27
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,547
♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT MY BACK,
AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪
28
00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,450
♪ YOU'RE MY POINT,
YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪
29
00:01:21,452 --> 00:01:22,812
♪ YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪
30
00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:25,993
♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER
ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪
31
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:29,016
♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP,
WE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪
32
00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,459
♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY "HEY" ♪
33
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,961
♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKING ♪
34
00:01:32,963 --> 00:01:34,473
♪ OH ♪
35
00:01:34,465 --> 00:01:37,195
♪ THERE'S NO WAY I CAN
MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
36
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,528
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA ♪
37
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:40,269
♪ BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪
38
00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:43,101
♪ IT'S NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE
DOING IT SOLO ♪
39
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,613
♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE "WHOA" ♪
40
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,505
♪ YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪
41
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,277
♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪
42
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,480
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪
43
00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:55,353
♪ THERE'S NO WAY I CAN
MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
44
00:01:55,346 --> 00:01:57,246
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA ♪
45
00:01:57,248 --> 00:01:59,848
♪ BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪
46
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:06,033
(spooky music playing)
47
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,973
(thunder crashing)
48
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:25,752
UGH. DEZ, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU RUINED OUR GROUP COSTUME.
49
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,046
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
A B.L.T. SANDWICH.
50
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,818
RIGHT. I'M THE "L"-- LEMON.
51
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:33,551
THE "L" STANDS FOR "LETTUCE."
52
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,564
UGH! WHO'D EAT A BACON,
LETTUCE, AND TOMATO SANDWICH?
53
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,557
WHO WOULD EAT A BACON, LEMON,
AND TOMATO SANDWICH?
54
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,390
UH, ME.
55
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:46,303
MMM! IT'S TART.
56
00:02:47,838 --> 00:02:50,938
HEY, THERE'S A SPOOKY
STORYTELLING CONTEST
AT THE PARTY TONIGHT.
57
00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:55,811
-WE SHOULD ENTER!
-OOH! I JUST THOUGHT
OF THE PERFECT SCARY STORY.
58
00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:57,506
LISTEN.
59
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:01,449
THERE ONCE WAS AN OLD WOMAN
WHO LIVED IN A SHOE...
60
00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:06,724
DEZ, THIS IS "THE OLD WOMAN
WHO LIVED IN A SHOE."
61
00:03:06,717 --> 00:03:08,387
IT'S A NURSERY RHYME!
62
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,261
-OH YEAH.
-(scoffs) OKAY.
63
00:03:13,264 --> 00:03:16,674
I HAVE A SCARY STORY
THAT CAN ACTUALLY WIN US
THE CONTEST.
64
00:03:17,728 --> 00:03:19,998
ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT,
65
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,870
A U.F.O. CRASHED ONTO
AN OLD, DESERTED HIGHWAY
66
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,584
NEAR THE MALL OF MIAMI.
67
00:03:26,577 --> 00:03:30,677
A BUS OF TRAVELERS
HAD TO PULL OVER AND WAIT
FOR THE ROAD TO BE REPAIRED,
68
00:03:30,681 --> 00:03:33,581
AMONG THEM
A CRAZY, OLD PROSPECTOR,
69
00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:38,824
A DITSY ACTRESS,
AND AN EXTREMELY HANDSOME
BRITISH ACCOUNTANT.
70
00:03:43,694 --> 00:03:47,534
EVENING, FOLKS.
OFFICER PAT, MALL SECURITY.
71
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:51,528
AFTER THAT UNIDENTIFIED
FLYING OBJECT CRASHED
INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD,
72
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:55,172
WE HAVE HEARD REPORTS
OF SOME NOT-SO-NORMAL ACTIVITY.
73
00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:57,765
-SOME MAY SAY... PARANORMAL!
-(thunder crashes)
74
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,552
(in gruff, Southern accent)
THE ONLY THING NOT NORMAL HERE
IS THAT THERE'S SEVEN OF US
75
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,475
IN A FOOD COURT
WITHOUT ANY FOOD!
76
00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:09,147
NOW, WHERE CAN
I GET SOME GRITS?
77
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,319
(in British accent)
WAIT. SEVEN PEOPLE?
78
00:04:11,322 --> 00:04:13,182
BUT THERE WERE ONLY...
79
00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,963
SIX OF US ON THE BUS!
80
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,655
HUH. SO THAT MEANS...
81
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,759
SOMEONE HERE MUST BE EXTRA.
82
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,761
SOME MAY SAY...
EXTRATERRESTRIAL!
83
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,944
(thunder crashes)
84
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:31,568
SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
ONE OF US IS AN ALIEN?
85
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,102
EWW! GROSS!
86
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:39,275
ALIEN? SWEET SHEPHERD'S PIE!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
ALIENS DO TO YOU?
87
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,179
THEY ABDUCT YOU,
CUT YOU UP,
88
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,811
PUT YOU IN JARS,
AND DO EXPERIMENTS ON YOU!
89
00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:47,224
WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT
WHO THE ALIEN IS BEFORE
IT KILLS US ALL!
90
00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:49,587
-(whimpers)
-EHH!
91
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,160
THIS ALIEN'S PROBABLY HERE
FOR MY GOLD!
92
00:04:52,162 --> 00:04:54,672
BUT HE CAN'T HAVE IT!
HE'D HAVE TO PRY IT
93
00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:57,695
FROM MY COLD,
DEAD FINGERS.
94
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,668
WHAT'S TO SAY
YOU'RE NOT THE ALIEN?
95
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,842
YEAH. YOUR BUSHY BEARD,
YOUR BUGGED-OUT EYES.
96
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:08,636
THAT TOTALLY FOUL
BODY ODOR.
97
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:12,309
OH. YOU NOTICED
MY MAN SCENT, DID YA?
98
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,415
IT'S HARD NOT TO NOTICE.
99
00:05:17,948 --> 00:05:20,648
WELL, CLEARLY,
I AM NOT THE ALIEN.
100
00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:23,451
(laughs)
I'M TOO PRETTY
TO BE AN ALIEN.
101
00:05:23,454 --> 00:05:25,304
ME TOO.
102
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,257
I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS
WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE ALIEN.
103
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,300
-THAT GUY!
-(lightning crashes)
104
00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:38,374
WHO? GLEEP-GLOOP?
NO WAY! I SAT NEXT
TO HIM ON THE BUS!
105
00:05:38,369 --> 00:05:41,869
-BUT HE'S GREEN!
-SOME PEOPLE ARE GREEN.
106
00:05:43,073 --> 00:05:44,823
Pat: WHAT ABOUT
THAT THIRD EYE?
107
00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:46,745
HE TOLD ME
IT'S A BIRTHMARK.
108
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:52,049
WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT
WHICH ONE OF US IS AN ALIEN
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
109
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,762
IF ALIENS ATTACK,
OUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL ARE...
110
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:58,656
PI, DIAMETER, CALCULUS,
111
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,729
SQUARE ROOT,
CARRY THE SEVEN,
112
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,531
FRACTIONS,
FISH 'N' CHIPS...
113
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,804
ZERO PERCENT!
WE'RE DOOMED!
WE'RE ALL DOOMED!
114
00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:10,698
I KNOW HOW TO TELL
WHICH ONE OF US IS THE ALIEN.
115
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:13,901
WE CHOP OFF EACH OTHER'S ARMS
AND SEE WHO BLEEDS GREEN!
116
00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:15,454
(thunder crashes)
117
00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,607
NOW, WHO'S GOING FIRST?
118
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:21,009
I PICK YOU, PRETTY LADY.
119
00:06:32,863 --> 00:06:37,073
BANGERS AND MASH!
SHE WAS THE ALIEN ALL ALONG!
120
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:39,567
WHAT AN UNEXPECTED TWIST!
121
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,670
I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.
122
00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:44,172
I GUESS I OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY, GLEEP-GLOOP.
123
00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:53,439
AND THE ALIEN WAS
NEVER SEEN AGAIN.
124
00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:56,254
(scoffs)
THAT STORY WAS LAME.
125
00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:59,716
WHAT'S SO SCARY
ABOUT AN ALIEN HANGING OUT
AT THE MALL?
126
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,650
OH, WAIT,
I FORGOT ONE PART.
127
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,733
JUST THEN...
128
00:07:06,296 --> 00:07:08,126
(people whimpering)
129
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:15,010
AND TO THINK I ALMOST LEFT
WITHOUT DOING WHAT
I CAME HERE TO DO.
130
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,935
TO KISS ME?
131
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:21,208
EWW! GROSS! NO!
132
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:24,581
(distorted)
I'M HERE TO CUT YOU UP
AND PUT YOU IN JARS.
133
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:27,715
(people screaming)
134
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,055
ALL RIGHT, AUSTIN,
I'LL ADMIT YOUR ALIEN STORY
GAVE ME THE CHILLS.
135
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,058
-MAYBE WE SHOULD USE IT
FOR THE CONTEST.
-UH, GUYS.
136
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,691
THOSE TWO MICHAEL JACKSONS
HAVE BEEN STARING
AT US FOR A WHILE.
137
00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:48,036
SORRY TO STARE.
I JUST HAVE TO SAY
138
00:07:48,038 --> 00:07:51,468
-I'M A BIG FAN.
-YOU'RE A FAN
OF AUSTIN'S MUSIC?
139
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,941
NO, I'M A FAN OF BACON.
140
00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:56,084
I'M SO HUNGRY.
141
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,506
YOU'RE ALWAYS HUNGRY.
142
00:07:58,509 --> 00:08:01,449
WELL, EXCUSE ME,
BUT HUMANS NEED TO EAT.
143
00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:05,723
I MEAN, NOT THAT
YOU'RE NOT HUMAN.
144
00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:08,916
IT'S JUST INHUMAN,
THE WAY YOU TREAT ME
SOMETIMES.
145
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,320
(whispers)
♪ SAVED IT! ♪
146
00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:14,871
WHY CAN'T YOU BE THE ONE
WITH THE OFF SWITCH?
147
00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:18,926
(spooky music playing)
148
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:24,171
(laughs)
THIS CREEPY ROOM IS
PERFECT FOR STORYTELLING.
149
00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:26,114
YEAH, AND I JUST
THOUGHT OF A STORY
150
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,906
THAT'LL MAKE THE LITTLE,
TINY HAIRS ON THE BOTTOM
OF YOUR FEET STAND UP.
151
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,010
WHO HAS LITTLE, TINY HAIRS
ON THE BOTTOM OF THEIR FEET?
152
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,793
UH... NO ONE.
153
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,986
NOW, ONCE UPON A TIME,
154
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:41,748
THERE WAS A GERMAN
BROTHER AND SISTER WHO
GOT LOST IN THE FOREST.
155
00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:45,763
THEIR NAMES--
HANSEL AND GRETEL.
156
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,797
DEZ, THIS IS THE STORY
OF HANSEL AND GRETEL.
157
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,560
-IT'S A FAIRYTALE.
-(scoffs)
158
00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,074
-OH YEAH.
-(scoffs)
159
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:58,106
ALL RIGHT,
I HAVE A STORY.
160
00:08:58,108 --> 00:09:01,508
IT WAS A DARK
AND STORMY NIGHT,
161
00:09:01,511 --> 00:09:05,851
WHEN AN EXTREMELY
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL
GOT A NEW CELLPHONE.
162
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:09,677
YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT
THIS NEW PHONE I BOUGHT.
163
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,180
IT'S GOT A BETTER CAMERA,
MORE STORAGE SPACE,
164
00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:14,662
AND IT CAME
WITH A SELFIE-STICK.
165
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,325
-SAY "BESTIES"!
-Both: BESTIES
166
00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:19,157
-(clicks)
-(giggles)
167
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,429
THEY'VE ALSO
UPGRADED TO THIS NEW
OPERATING SYSTEM, EERIE.
168
00:09:22,432 --> 00:09:26,202
IT CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU ASK IT. WATCH.
169
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,538
(chimes)
How may I be of assistance?
170
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:32,970
EERIE, WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE
TO GO TO DINNER?
171
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,083
(chimes) I suggest
Vadurro's Ristorante.
172
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,176
Their special tonight is
veggie lasagna, your favorite,
173
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,209
plus it doesn't have mushrooms,
which I know you hate.
174
00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:44,352
-(laughs)
-WOW!
175
00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:47,124
I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND
AND EVEN I DIDN'T
KNOW ALL THAT.
176
00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,887
MAYBE I SHOULD GET RID
OF THAT PHONE BEFORE
IT BECOMES YOUR BEST FRIEND.
177
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,690
-(laughs)
- (Eerie mockingly laughs)
178
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,874
-DID THAT PHONE JUST LAUGH?
-I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
179
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:59,227
-HEY, I'LL MEET YOU
DOWNSTAIRS IN A MINUTE.
-OKAY.
180
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:05,342
(chimes)
How may I be
of assistance?
181
00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:08,975
EERIE, MY BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY
IS COMING UP NEXT WEEK.
182
00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:10,939
WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE
TO GET HER A PRESENT?
183
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:14,721
(chimes)
Oh, you don't have
to get me a present.
184
00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:20,186
UH, NO, NOT YOU.
I MEANT MY BEST FRIEND
WHO WAS JUST HERE.
185
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,821
Oh. I see.
186
00:10:23,894 --> 00:10:25,834
I'll take care
of your friend.
187
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,556
I will get her
a present to die for.
188
00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:31,398
-GREAT, THANKS.
- Love you.
189
00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,861
-WHAT?
- Oh, nothing.
190
00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,015
HELLO?
191
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,047
HELLO?
192
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:52,149
I GOT YOUR TEXT.
WHERE'S MY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE?
193
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,394
(screaming) OH!
194
00:11:02,332 --> 00:11:03,992
-(growls)
-(screaming)
195
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,696
(whirring loudly)
196
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,740
OW!
197
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,648
-WHAT'S GOING ON?
-HELP ME!
198
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,680
OOH! YOU'RE HAVING
TEA AND TOAST?
199
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,855
NO! I'M BEING ATTACKED
BY ALL THE APPLIANCES! HELP!
200
00:11:27,858 --> 00:11:29,658
WE'LL SAVE YOU!
201
00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:32,089
(yelps, screams)
202
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,066
WHY DO WE HAVE
SO MANY APPLIANCES?
203
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:43,730
-WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
-SOMEBODY TURN OFF THE POWER!
204
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:46,344
AND SOMEBODY GET ME
SOME JAM FOR MY TOAST!
205
00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,476
IT'S SO DRY!
206
00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,879
OH! I GOT YOU!
207
00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:54,042
OH! (screaming)
208
00:12:14,164 --> 00:12:15,574
(whirring stops)
209
00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:26,123
I AM NEVER
PICKING UP A VACUUM AGAIN!
210
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:29,246
TO BE FAIR,
I'VE NEVER PICKED UP
A VACUUM BEFORE.
211
00:12:30,821 --> 00:12:34,681
-WHAT HAPPENED?
-YOU TEXTED ME
TO BE HERE.
212
00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:38,134
IF THIS WAS YOUR IDEA
OF A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
I'D "NEVER FORGET,"
213
00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:40,058
-YOU SUCCEEDED.
-WHAT?
214
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,130
I DIDN'T TEXT YOU.
215
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,644
OH MY GOSH.
216
00:12:45,635 --> 00:12:48,035
SOMEHOW,
MY PHONE TEXTED YOU.
217
00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:51,198
THEN IT MUST'VE
ACTIVATED ALL THE ELECTRONICS
IN HERE TO ATTACK YOU!
218
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:54,401
-I THINK IT'S CURSED!
-THEN WE'VE GOT TO RETURN IT
TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW.
219
00:12:54,404 --> 00:12:57,284
I WONDER WHAT
THE RETURN POLICY IS
ON POSSESSED PHONES.
220
00:12:58,508 --> 00:13:02,078
OH, WAIT, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
LET ME JUST MAKE SURE
I HAVE THE RECEIPT.
221
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,385
(chimes)
Why are you going
to return me?
222
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,988
UH, YOU ATTACKED
MY FRIENDS.
223
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:14,421
(chimes)
They were a threat
to my existence.
224
00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:16,334
They needed
to be eliminated.
225
00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:19,096
I am the only friend
you need.
226
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:23,129
SORRY, EERIE.
I AM GETTING RID OF YOU
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
227
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,313
I don't think so.
228
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,935
We're going
to be together forever.
229
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,522
EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE?
WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
230
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,185
(Eerie's voice)
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
231
00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,217
HOW MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE?
232
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,489
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO OUT TO DINNER
FOR MY BIRTHDAY NOW?
233
00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:44,491
THERE ARE 10 RESTAURANTS
IN WALKING DISTANCE.
234
00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:47,264
GREAT. TONIGHT'S GONNA BE
SO MUCH FUN.
235
00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:50,797
OH YEAH.
TONIGHT IS GONNA BE KILLER.
236
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,460
Ally: (through phone)
Help me! Help me!
237
00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:54,232
Help!
238
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,114
Help! Somebody!
239
00:13:57,107 --> 00:14:00,337
-WHAT WAS THAT?
-NOTHING.
240
00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:04,612
Ally: Help!
Somebody, help me!
241
00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:06,154
(screams)
242
00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:15,093
(thunder crashes)
243
00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:21,257
WOW. YOUR STORY
ABOUT THE POSSESSED PHONE
WAS REALLY FREAKY.
244
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:24,762
DOES ANYONE ELSE
HAVE A STRANGE FEELING
WE'RE BEING WATCHED?
245
00:14:29,239 --> 00:14:31,369
OH, IT'S JUST
THE PAINTING WATCHING US.
246
00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:34,172
WAIT A SECOND.
247
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:38,675
(all scream)
248
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,478
OH. HELLO.
249
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,750
WE WERE JUST CHECKING
FOR TERMITES.
250
00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:45,662
CLEARLY THEY HAVE
A LOT OF THEM.
251
00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:48,915
UH, ARE YOU GUYS
SPYING ON US?
252
00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:51,419
(nervously)
WHAT? NO!
253
00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:56,131
WE'RE NOT SPIES...
OR STATE-OF-THE-ART
HUMANISTIC ANDROIDS.
254
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:59,826
-HUH?
-NOTHING. WELL, SEE YA.
255
00:14:59,829 --> 00:15:02,999
(mutters)
NICE ONE,
DOUBLE-O-DING-DONG.
256
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,903
(chuckles nervously)
257
00:15:06,276 --> 00:15:08,976
OKAY, I HAVE A STORY
I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVEN'T HEARD.
258
00:15:08,979 --> 00:15:13,839
ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS A POP STAR
AND A SHY SONGWRITER.
259
00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:16,653
OH, AND THEIR FEISTY,
LAZY MANAGER.
260
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:19,216
BUT THE REAL STAR
OF THE STORY
261
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:22,019
WAS THEIR CHARMING,
WELL-DRESSED,
RED-HEADED FRIEND
262
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,852
WHO WAS ADORED BY ALL.
263
00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:26,234
All: DEZ! DEZ!
264
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:29,056
-DEZ, DEZ, DEZ.
-OH, DEZ.
265
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,859
DEZ, DEZ.
266
00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:34,231
DEZ, THIS IS
OUR LIFE STORY.
267
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,774
EXCEPT THIS
WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.
268
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,909
-OH YEAH.
-ALL RIGHT, IT'S MY TURN,
269
00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:45,281
-AND I HAVE
THE SCARIEST STORY OF ALL.
-LET ME GUESS.
270
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:47,675
-WAS IT A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT?
-NO, ACTUALLY,
271
00:15:47,677 --> 00:15:50,217
IT WAS MOSTLY SUNNY
WITH HIGHS IN THE MID-70s,
272
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:54,350
BUT... YOU NEVER KNOW
WHERE EVIL MAY LURK.
273
00:15:55,925 --> 00:15:58,625
THERE WAS
AN EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL LADY
274
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:01,928
NAMED RAINBOW WHO SOLD EGGS
AT THE LOCAL FARMER'S MARKET.
275
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,331
AH. NAMASTE.
276
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:07,444
-LOOKING TO BUY SOME EGGS?
-THAT DEPENDS.
277
00:16:07,437 --> 00:16:10,497
ARE THESE EGGS FRESH?
I ONLY EAT FRESH EGGS.
278
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,800
YES, MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND.
279
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:16,112
MY SWEET CHICKIES LAY
A NEW BATCH EVERY DAY.
280
00:16:16,106 --> 00:16:18,106
MMM. GOOD,
281
00:16:18,108 --> 00:16:20,578
BECAUSE MY BOOK CLUB IS
HAVING AN ALL-ORGANIC BRUNCH,
282
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,710
AND I'M BRINGING
THE GOAT CHEESE FRITTATA.
283
00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:29,385
-WHAT IS THAT GLOWING CHICKEN?
-AH. PANDORA IS DANGEROUS.
284
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,889
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T TOUCH HER.
285
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,331
-SHE'LL HARSH YOUR MELLOW.
-OH. TOO BAD.
286
00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:38,395
SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'D LAY
SOME FRITTATA-WORTHY EGGS.
287
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,530
ARE THESE EGGS ORGANIC,
HORMONE-FREE, CAGE-FREE,
288
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,713
FREE-RANGE, READ TO
AND CUDDLED AT NIGHT?
289
00:16:48,378 --> 00:16:49,738
NOT VERY DURABLE.
290
00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:56,021
EASY, FRIEND.
WHAT DID THOSE EGGS
EVER DO TO YOU?
291
00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:02,989
OM. GRANT ME
THE SERENITY I NEED--
292
00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:05,202
OH, FORGET IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
293
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:07,955
-TOUCH THE GLOWING CHICKEN.
-OH.
294
00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:12,059
HEY, PANDORA.
WHO'S A PRETTY LITTLE CHICKEN?
295
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:14,562
YOU ARE.
YES, YOU ARE.
YES, YOU ARE.
296
00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:16,374
YES-- OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE!
297
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,437
YOUR COO-COO BIRD
JUST BIT ME!
298
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:23,309
OH, DID IT? SORRY.
PEACE AND BLESSINGS.
299
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:35,490
HELLO. I'M AGENT BLACK,
AND THIS IS MY PARTNER,
AGENT CHARCOAL GREY.
300
00:17:35,485 --> 00:17:38,455
WE'RE PARANORMAL
INVESTIGATORS.
301
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,688
WERE YOU
BY ANY CHANCE BITTEN BY A...
GLOWING CHICKEN EARLIER TODAY?
302
00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:46,173
YES. HOW IS THAT
ANY OF YOUR CONCERN?
303
00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:50,437
WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
IT WAS A... WERE-CHICKEN.
304
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,441
WHAT'S A WERE-CHICKEN?
305
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:59,183
IT'S HALF CHICKEN,
HALF HUMAN, ALL MONSTER.
306
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,909
HAVE YOU NOTICED
ANY STRANGE BEHAVIORS?
307
00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,251
AND CHANGES TO YOUR
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE?
308
00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:06,364
NO, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
309
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,961
ALTHOUGH,
COME TO THINK OF IT,
310
00:18:13,963 --> 00:18:16,033
MY SKIN HAS BEEN
A LITTLE ITCHY LATELY.
311
00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:18,595
I JUST ASSUMED IT WAS
MY NEW AVOCADO BACK MASK.
312
00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:22,600
WHAT THE...?
BUH-KAWK!
313
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,183
-IT'S JUST AS WE FEARED.
-AND TONIGHT'S A FULL MOON.
314
00:18:27,177 --> 00:18:29,607
NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN BITTEN,
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN,
315
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,309
YOU'LL BECOME A...
316
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,381
FULL-BLOWN
WERE-CHICKEN YOURSELF.
317
00:18:34,384 --> 00:18:37,524
LISTEN, DON'T LEAVE
THIS ROOM TILL WE COME BACK
WITH THE ANTIDOTE.
318
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,917
I'M SCARED!
HURRY BUK-BUK-BACK!
319
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,849
(panicky clucking)
320
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,114
ALL RIGHT. (sighs)
321
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,466
-WE FOUND THE ANTIDOTE AND--
-(clucking)
322
00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:05,582
OH. I SEE
YOU'VE GONE FULL CHICKEN.
323
00:19:07,116 --> 00:19:08,476
WHAT IS THAT
YOU'RE EATING?
324
00:19:08,478 --> 00:19:10,818
WELL, YOU TOLD ME
NOT TO LEAVE THE ROOM,
325
00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,420
SO I ORDERED
A WHOLE GRAIN KALE PIZZA.
326
00:19:13,423 --> 00:19:15,463
Agent Black:
BUT YOU DIDN'T EAT
ANY OF THE PIZZA.
327
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,885
I KNOW. I ATE
THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN.
328
00:19:17,887 --> 00:19:20,357
SEE, YOU KNOW
HOW PEOPLE EAT CHICKEN?
329
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,030
WELL, WERE-CHICKENS
EAT PEOPLE.
330
00:19:22,031 --> 00:19:24,491
AND HERE'S
THE REALLY FUNNY PART--
THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN.
331
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:27,874
(panicky laughing)
332
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,367
OKAY, WE HAVE GOT
TO CHANGE YOU BACK.
333
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,670
-SIR. SIR.
-(loud clucking)
334
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,172
SIR, WE NEED YOU--
SIR, WE NEED YOU--
335
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,814
LOOK, WE NEED YOU
TO GET ON THE CHAIR.
THANK YOU.
336
00:19:38,808 --> 00:19:41,278
FIRST, YOU NEED
TO DRINK THIS.
337
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,951
THEN WE PLUCK
ALL YOUR FEATHERS.
338
00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:44,812
IS THAT ANTIDOTE SUGAR FREE?
339
00:19:44,814 --> 00:19:47,824
I JUST ATE A WHOLE
PIZZA DELIVERY MAN.
I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY WEIGHT.
340
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,588
JUST DRINK IT!
341
00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:56,604
NOW, HOLD STILL.
342
00:19:58,668 --> 00:20:02,498
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
343
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,482
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
344
00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:07,675
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
345
00:20:08,878 --> 00:20:10,708
WE FINISHED PLUCKING YOU
FIVE MINUTES AGO.
346
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,980
WHOO!
OOH, SO SMOOTH.
347
00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:16,393
IT WORKS EVEN BETTER
THAN MY AVOCADO BACK MASK.
348
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,987
WELL, NOW YOU'RE
BACK TO NORMAL.
349
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:23,949
I GUESS WE CAN CLOSE THE FILE
ON THE CASE OF THE...
WERE-CHICKEN.
350
00:20:25,154 --> 00:20:27,634
UNLESS THERE'S
SOME UNEXPECTED TWIST.
351
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,097
YOU MEAN LIKE
ALL THOSE EGGS
I LAID EARLIER?
352
00:20:30,099 --> 00:20:32,729
(peeping)
353
00:20:34,203 --> 00:20:37,573
(agents screaming)
354
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:41,567
SO, AFTER THEY
DEVOURED AGENT BLACK
AND AGENT CHARCOAL GREY,
355
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,941
THE WERE-CHICKS
ESCAPED INTO THE WILD
356
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,723
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.
357
00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:50,146
BUT, ON THE NIGHT
OF A FULL MOON, LIKE THIS,
358
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,149
THEY SOMETIMES
COME OUT OF THE WOODS,
359
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:55,121
LOOKING FOR THEIR
NEXT VICTIMS.
360
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:57,664
-CHICKEN!
-(screams)
361
00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:00,027
AND PIZZA AND HOT DOGS.
362
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:02,329
THEY JUST PUT OUT
ALL THE FOOD.
363
00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:06,472
WELL, BEFORE WE EAT, WE SHOULD
GET TO THE SCARY STORY CONTEST.
364
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,066
BAD NEWS--
YOU GUYS JUST MISSED IT.
365
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,798
-Gang: WHAT?
-YEAH, WE JUST WALKED BY THERE.
366
00:21:11,801 --> 00:21:13,771
THE WINNER TOLD
THIS SCARY STORY
367
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,483
ABOUT A WERE-CHICKEN
FROM OUTER SPACE
368
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,175
WITH A POSSESSED PHONE
THAT TRIED TO KILL ITS
OWNER AND HER FRIENDS.
369
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:23,607
-THAT WAS MY STORY!
-WELL, AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE
TIME FOR THE COSTUME CONTEST.
370
00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:26,293
OOH, BAD NEWS--
YOU MISSED THAT TOO.
371
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,455
THE WINNERS WERE A GROUP
DRESSED AS A B.L.T. SANDWICH--
372
00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:31,659
YOU KNOW, BACON,
LICORICE, AND TOMATO.
373
00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:34,191
THAT'S MY
SECOND-FAVORITE SANDWICH!
374
00:21:35,565 --> 00:21:38,295
MMM! MMM!
375
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,567
LICORICEY.
376
00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:52,078
THAT WAS A FUN PARTY,
BUT I DON'T WANT
THE NIGHT TO END.
377
00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:54,841
YEAH, I WANNA MAKE
THE MOST OF MY TIME
HERE IN THE BIG LEMON.
378
00:21:54,844 --> 00:21:57,354
UH, NEW YORK IS
THE BIG APPLE.
379
00:21:57,347 --> 00:22:00,817
I KNOW. I WANNA MAKE
THE MOST OF MY TIME HERE
IN THIS BIG LEMON.
380
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:05,320
-THIS IS A RENTAL.
-LET'S START BY GETTING
SOME FAMOUS NEW YORK PIZZA.
381
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,604
OH, GOOD IDEA.
THERE'S GOTTA BE A PLACE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
382
00:22:09,298 --> 00:22:12,458
(chimes)
How may I be
of assistance?
383
00:22:12,462 --> 00:22:14,662
CHEERIE, WHERE'S THE BEST
PLACE TO GET PIZZA?
384
00:22:14,664 --> 00:22:17,644
There are 10 restaurants
in walking distance.
385
00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:20,637
(gasps)
THAT'S WHAT THE PHONE
IN THE STORY SAID!
386
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,740
-(gasps)
-OH!
387
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:27,023
DEZ! YOU JUST BROKE
ALLY'S PHONE!
388
00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:29,176
OOH. SORRY.
389
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,250
I GUESS I JUST GOT FREAKED OUT
390
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,581
FROM ALL THOSE CREEPY STORIES.
391
00:22:35,284 --> 00:22:37,564
You shouldn't have done that.
392
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,787
Now you're going to pay.
393
00:22:39,789 --> 00:22:41,959
-(thunder crashes)
-(screaming)
30360
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.