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1
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:14,150
AM I DREAMING OR ARE
YOU GUYS READING A BOOK?
2
00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:16,015
IT'S THE BOOK
OF WORLD RECORDS.
3
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,186
ME AND DEZ ARE GONNA
SET A WORLD RECORD.
4
00:00:18,189 --> 00:00:21,519
HOW ABOUT THE WORLD'S
LONGEST FINGERNAILS?
5
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,222
NAH. HOW COULD
WE EVER GO BOWLING?
6
00:00:25,056 --> 00:00:27,756
HERE'S ONE-- KEEPING YOUR
EYES OPEN WITHOUT BLINKING.
7
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:29,658
OOH!
TIME ME!
8
00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:35,574
- HEY.
- SHH! DEZ IS TRYING
TO SET THE RECORD
9
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:38,066
FOR NOT BLINKING.
NOBODY BOTHER HIM
10
00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:40,569
FOR 30 HOURS
AND 12 MINUTES.
11
00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:43,171
I CAN'T GO ON!
I GIVE UP.
12
00:00:43,174 --> 00:00:45,624
AHHH.
HOW LONG WAS THAT?
13
00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:47,646
EIGHT SECONDS.
14
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,649
I THINK ALLY HAS
A SHOT
15
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,151
AT BREAKING
THE NOT-BLINKING RECORD.
16
00:00:56,687 --> 00:00:58,727
STARING AT DALLAS?
WHAT?!
17
00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:00,689
NO, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
18
00:01:01,692 --> 00:01:03,162
JUST GO TALK TO HIM.
19
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,144
- IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
- SURE IT IS.
20
00:01:05,136 --> 00:01:07,496
( falsetto )
♪ HEY, DALLAS! ♪
21
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,742
AND APPARENTLY
I'M GONNA TALK TO HIM.
22
00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:20,179
HEY, DALLAS.
23
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,611
DID YOU SEE THAT
CRAZY STORY ON THE NEWS?
24
00:01:22,613 --> 00:01:24,823
WHAT STORY?
25
00:01:24,815 --> 00:01:28,485
UH, WHICH ONE WERE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
26
00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:31,790
I WASN'T.
YOU BROUGHT IT UP.
27
00:01:33,224 --> 00:01:36,174
I KNOW, RIGHT?
28
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,127
WELL, GREAT TALKING
TO YOU.
29
00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:41,799
WAIT, ALLY.
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO COME
BY THE STORE AND SAY HI,
30
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:45,282
I JUST HAVEN'T HAD TIME.
AFTER WORK I ALWAYS
HAVE CHORES.
31
00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:49,106
LIKE TODAY
I HAVE TO MOW MY LAWN.
IT'S THE WORST.
32
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,679
I CAN MOW
YOUR LAWN FOR YOU!
33
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:54,792
WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?
34
00:01:54,785 --> 00:01:56,645
REALLY?
YOU'D MOW MY LAWN FOR ME?
35
00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,547
YEP. THAT'S WHAT
I HEARD MYSELF SAY.
36
00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:01,751
THANKS!
37
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,725
- HOW'D IT GO?
- GREAT.
38
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,627
CAN ANYBODY TEACH ME
HOW TO MOW A LAWN?
39
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,599
THERE'S NO TIME
FOR THAT, ALLY.
40
00:02:10,601 --> 00:02:13,831
I'M ABOUT TO SET
THE RECORD FOR THE WORLD'S
BIGGEST BRAIN FREEZE.
41
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,844
UM, DEZ, THERE'S
NO RECORD FOR THAT.
42
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,466
( slurping )
43
00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:21,440
AW, MAN.
44
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,712
WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING
ANYWAY, SO--
45
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,654
( screaming )
46
00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:29,648
( theme music playing )
47
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,780
♪ WHEN THE CROWD
WANTS MORE ♪
48
00:02:31,782 --> 00:02:33,252
♪ I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪
49
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,734
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT MY BACK ♪
50
00:02:34,725 --> 00:02:36,355
♪ AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪
51
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,757
♪ YOU'RE MY POINT,
YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪
52
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,488
♪ YOU'RE
THE PERFECT CHORD ♪
53
00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:42,490
♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER
ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪
54
00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:45,603
♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP,
WE'VE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪
55
00:02:45,596 --> 00:02:46,936
♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM
SAY "HEY!" ♪
56
00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:49,497
♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKIN' ♪
57
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:53,740
♪ OH, THERE'S NO WAY I COULD
MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
58
00:02:53,744 --> 00:02:56,814
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA,
BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪
59
00:02:56,807 --> 00:02:59,677
♪ IT'S NO FUN
WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT SOLO ♪
60
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,750
♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE, "WHOA,"
YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪
61
00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:05,723
♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪
62
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:08,856
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪
63
00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:12,189
♪ THERE'S NO WAY I COULD
MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
64
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,502
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA,
BE HERE WITHOUT YA. ♪
65
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:27,543
I CAN'T BELIEVE
ON DALLAS'S BLOCK.WN
66
00:03:27,538 --> 00:03:29,978
AFTER I MOWED HIS LAWN,
IT JUST LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER
67
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:32,710
THAN ALL THE OTHER LAWNS.
I FELT BAD FOR THEM.
68
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:36,723
WELL, WHEN YOU SAY IT
SO MUCH SENSE.MAKES
69
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,887
WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF?
70
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:40,889
IT'S OUR INVENTORY
FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR.
71
00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:42,891
MY DAD ORDERS
EVERYTHING AT ONCE
72
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:45,003
SO HE CAN SAVE LIKE $4.
73
00:03:44,995 --> 00:03:47,855
$4.36.
74
00:03:47,858 --> 00:03:49,898
OOH, ALLY,
75
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,900
I NEED YOU
UPSTAIRS FOR ME.OXES
76
00:03:52,903 --> 00:03:56,443
- YOU KNOW I HAVE A BAD BACK.
- THERE'S A LOT OF BOXES.
77
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,367
CAN WE MAYBE HIRE
SOMEONE TO HELP?
78
00:03:58,369 --> 00:04:00,839
I'M IN-BETWEEN JOBS RIGHT NOW.
I'D LOVE TO WORK HERE.
79
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,441
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
80
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,284
WHY NOT?
I'D BE A GREAT EMPLOYEE.
81
00:04:06,277 --> 00:04:09,877
TRISH, YOU'VE HAD 30 JOBS
IN THE LAST MONTH.
82
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,980
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN KEPT
A JOB FOR THREE DAYS.
83
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:14,892
THAT HURTS. I WORKED
AT A CALENDAR STORE
84
00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:18,525
FOR ALMOST A WEEK.
AND I KNOW BECAUSE
IT WAS A CALENDAR STORE.
85
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:21,829
IT WASN'T A WEEK.
IT WAS A WEEKEND.
86
00:04:21,832 --> 00:04:24,302
AND I KNOW BECAUSE
YOU CALLED IN SICK
87
00:04:24,295 --> 00:04:25,995
AND I FILLED IN
FOR YOU FOR BOTH DAYS.
88
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,299
ALLY, WE CAN'T AFFORD
TO HIRE TRISH.
89
00:04:31,302 --> 00:04:33,342
WE CAN'T AFFORD
TO HIRE ANYONE.
90
00:04:33,344 --> 00:04:35,414
IT'S JUST ME AND YOU.
91
00:04:35,406 --> 00:04:37,846
ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST YOU.
92
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:40,648
IT'S FREE SAMPLE TIME
AT THE FOOD COURT. HEE!
93
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,915
CHECK IT OUT.
ME AND DEZ ARE GOING TO SET
94
00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:49,517
THE WORLD RECORD
FOR SPINNING A BASKETBALL
ON OUR FINGER.
95
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,890
THE OLD RECORD IS
22 HOURS AND 12 MINUTES.
96
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,922
WE ARE GOING
TO DEMOLISH IT!
97
00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:56,034
♪ WHAT UP? ♪
98
00:04:56,026 --> 00:04:58,696
WHICH ONE OF YOU DOOFS IS
GOING TO SET THE RECORD?
99
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:02,029
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- THERE CAN ONLY BE
ONE RECORD HOLDER.
100
00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:05,712
PROBABLY ME.
I'M GETTING PRETTY
GOOD AT THIS.
101
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,906
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT
MORE THAN PRETTY GOOD
102
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,978
TO BEAT
VERY PRETTY GOOD.
103
00:05:13,944 --> 00:05:16,324
Both:
OH, IT'S ON!
104
00:05:18,789 --> 00:05:20,689
OKAY.
IT'LL BE ON LATER.
105
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,396
- PSST!
- HEY, ALLY.
106
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:30,859
I WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR MOWING MY LAWN.
107
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:32,931
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO THANK ME.
108
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,343
I WAS ALREADY MOWING
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
109
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,106
YEAH, WEDNESDAY IS
ALLY'S MOWING DAY.
110
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,741
WELL, I GOTTA GET
BACK TO WORK.
111
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,823
THE BOSS ONLY GIVES ME
A FIVE-MINUTE BREAK.
112
00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:48,815
YOU THINK YOUR JOB STINKS?
YOU SHOULD WORK HERE.
113
00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:50,649
YEAH.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, ALLY.
114
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:53,851
NOT IF YOUR EYES
ARE CLOSED!
( laughing )
115
00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:04,362
WHY AM I STILL
LAUGHING?
116
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,536
NOT SURE.
117
00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:10,368
THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY
ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED
BETWEEN YOU AND DALLAS.
118
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,077
...91, 92,
119
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:24,050
93, 94...
120
00:06:24,054 --> 00:06:26,964
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- STRENGTHENING MY
FINGER MUSCLES
121
00:06:26,957 --> 00:06:29,087
SO I CAN CRUSH
THE BASKETBALL
SPINNING RECORD.
122
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,089
FEEL THE BURN,
FEEL THE BURN!
123
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,092
- ( groans )
- ( clanks )
124
00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:37,966
AM I SUPPOSED
TO BE IMPRESSED?
125
00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,598
THIS MORNING
I FINGER-WALKED
THREE MILES.
126
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:47,814
WELL, I WENT FINGER--
FINGER BUNGEE JUMPING.
127
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,939
( screaming )
128
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,923
WHEW!
129
00:06:56,987 --> 00:07:01,647
WELL, CAN YOU SPIN
A 16-LB CINDER BLOCK
130
00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,922
ON YOUR FINGER?
131
00:07:06,597 --> 00:07:07,997
OH, YOU AMATEUR.
132
00:07:07,998 --> 00:07:10,028
SPINNING SOMETHING HEAVY
WON'T HELP YOU.
133
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,560
THE KEY IS TO SPIN
SOMETHING LIGHT AND DELICATE.
134
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:14,743
THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT
ALL MY MOM'S GOOD CHINA.
135
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,966
OBSERVE.
136
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,708
-( smashes )
- HANG ON.
137
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:23,212
HANG ON.
138
00:07:23,213 --> 00:07:24,753
HANG ON.
139
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,816
HANG ON.
140
00:07:28,819 --> 00:07:30,679
HANG ON.
141
00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:32,751
HANG ON.
142
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,794
HANG ON.
143
00:07:35,786 --> 00:07:37,026
HANG ON.
144
00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:43,731
- HEY, ALLY.
- OH, DALLAS.
145
00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:45,804
- I'M READY TO START WORK.
- HUH?
146
00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:49,066
YESTERDAY YOU SAID, "IF YOU
THINK YOUR JOB STINKS,
YOU SHOULD WORK HERE,"
147
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,069
SO I QUIT MY JOB
AT THE CELLPHONE CART
AND HERE I AM.
148
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,752
I SAID THAT?
149
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:57,975
YOU THINK YOUR JOB STINKS?
YOU SHOULD WORK HERE.
150
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,008
I SAID THAT!
151
00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:03,050
SO NOW
YOU WORK HERE NOW.
152
00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,093
WELCOME ABOARD.
153
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,515
SO, WHAT CAN I DO?
154
00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:11,158
UM, YOU CAN MOVE THIS BOX
UP TO THE STORAGE ROOM.
155
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,504
REAL QUICK.
LET'S JUST SAY
YOU WANTED TO GET
156
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,526
YOUR JOB AT THE
CELLPHONE CART BACK...
157
00:08:18,529 --> 00:08:21,199
IT'S TOO LATE.
THEY ALREADY GAVE MY JOB
TO SOMEBODY ELSE.
158
00:08:22,973 --> 00:08:26,113
GUESS WHO GOT A JOB
AT THE CELLPHONE
ACCESSORY CART?
159
00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:29,208
WHAT?
160
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,039
( groans )
161
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:41,249
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HIRED DALLAS
AND NOT ME.
162
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,991
I DIDN'T HIRE HIM
ON PURPOSE.
163
00:08:42,993 --> 00:08:45,263
( glass shatters )
164
00:08:45,255 --> 00:08:47,255
SORRY.
165
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:50,158
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
166
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,960
HE'S A TERRIBLE EMPLOYEE.
167
00:08:52,963 --> 00:08:56,043
THEN WHY DON'T YOU
FIRE HIM?
168
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,936
I CAN'T. HE QUIT
HIS OTHER JOB TO WORK
HERE BECAUSE OF ME.
169
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,910
AND NOW HE CAN'T
GET HIS JOB BACK BECAUSE
SOMEBODY ELSE TOOK IT.
170
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,923
DON'T BLAME ME.
171
00:09:04,915 --> 00:09:08,175
YOU CAN'T
FIRE HIM BECAUSE YOU HAVE
A HUMONGOUS CRUSH ON HIM.
172
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:10,748
I KNOW,
IT'S JUST EASIER
TO BLAME YOU.
173
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,952
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO ABOUT YOUR DAD?
174
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,834
- I'M JUST GONNA
TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
- HEY, ALLY.
175
00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:18,026
NOBODY NEW WORKS HERE!
176
00:09:18,028 --> 00:09:21,658
- HUH?
- HELP ME OUT HERE.
177
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,802
I CAN'T.
I HAVE TO GET BACK
TO MY JOB
178
00:09:24,795 --> 00:09:27,865
IF I'M GONNA PROVE TO SOMEBODY
THAT I CAN KEEP A JOB
FOR THREE DAYS.
179
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,698
BY THE WAY, HAS IT BEEN
THREE DAYS YET?
180
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:35,081
- IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS.
- MAN!
181
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,945
HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS?
182
00:09:40,811 --> 00:09:42,151
EXCUSE ME, SIR?
183
00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:45,092
I JUST WANT TO SAY
I'M HAPPY TO BE ONBOARD.
184
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,915
OOO-KAY?
185
00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:52,961
ONBOARD?
WEIRD, HUH?
186
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:55,203
THAT GUY THINKS
HE'S ON A BOAT.
187
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,196
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
188
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,108
WELCOME, EVERYBODY.
YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS
189
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,880
RECORD-BREAKING HISTORY!
190
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:16,023
IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS,
ONE OF US WILL HOLD
THE WORLD RECORD
191
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,116
FOR SPINNING A BASKETBALL.
192
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,948
AND BY "ONE OF US"
HE MEANS "ME."
193
00:10:21,952 --> 00:10:25,002
AND BY "ME"
HE MEANS "ME."
194
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:28,125
"I'M CONFUSED."
195
00:10:31,061 --> 00:10:33,761
ANYWAY,
196
00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:35,644
THESE OFFICIAL
RECORD BOOK OFFICIALS
197
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,735
WILL BE OFFICIALLY RECORDING
OUR OFFICIAL TIMES.
198
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,109
OFFICIALLY!
199
00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:45,183
READY?
GO!
200
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:52,350
I COULD DO THIS
ALL DAY.
201
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,422
ME TOO.
202
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,034
WAIT, DID YOU MEAN
SPIN THE BALL OR STARE?
203
00:10:57,027 --> 00:10:59,787
"I'M CONFUSED."
204
00:11:01,091 --> 00:11:03,291
- THE BALL.
- GOOD,
205
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,403
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
I STINK AT STARING.
206
00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:16,882
YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT UPSET
I SOLD THAT $500 GUITAR
FOR $50?
207
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,007
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
208
00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:22,880
YOU DIDN'T SEE THE EXTRA ZERO
ON THE PRICE TAG.
209
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,323
- THERE WAS
A PRICE TAG?
- WOW.
210
00:11:26,316 --> 00:11:29,386
- SO WHAT CAN I DO NOW?
- UHHHH...
211
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:32,019
I NEED YOU TO...
212
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:34,872
TAKE ALL THESE PICKS
OUT OF THE JAR,
213
00:11:34,865 --> 00:11:36,865
SEPARATE THEM BY COLOR,
214
00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:40,167
THEN MIX THEM UP AGAIN
AND PUT THEM BACK
IN THE JAR.
215
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:41,770
OKAY.
216
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,776
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- HORRIBLE.
217
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:49,878
HORRIBLE GREAT
OR HORRIBLE BAD?
218
00:11:50,881 --> 00:11:53,181
THERE'S ONLY ONE
KIND OF HORRIBLE.
219
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,024
DALLAS IS NOT
THE GREATEST WORKER,
220
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,846
SO I HAVE TO PUT
ALL THESE BOXES AWAY
BY MYSELF.
221
00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:01,089
- WE'LL HELP YOU.
- ARE YOU SURE
222
00:12:01,091 --> 00:12:03,751
YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO CARRY BOXES WHILE
SPINNING THOSE BALLS?
223
00:12:03,754 --> 00:12:05,504
IT'S EASY.
224
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,827
EH?
225
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,399
I CAN CARRY TWO BOXES.
226
00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:14,161
THREE BOXES
AND A BIRTHDAY CAKE.
227
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,135
WHY DO YOU HAVE
A BIRTHDAY CAKE?
228
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,367
UH, BECAUSE THEY WERE
OUT OF WEDDING CAKES.
229
00:12:25,115 --> 00:12:27,315
- HEY, BOSS.
- BOSS?
230
00:12:27,317 --> 00:12:31,277
HEY, BOSS.
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE KIDS
ARE SAYING THESE DAYS.
231
00:12:31,281 --> 00:12:33,881
HEY, BOSS!
WHAT'S UP, BOSS?
232
00:12:33,884 --> 00:12:36,334
NOTHIN'.
JUST CHILLIN', BOSS.
233
00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:38,526
WHATEVER YOU SAY, BOSS.
234
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,160
( crashes )
235
00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:47,174
SORRY, WE DROPPED THE BOXES.
WE WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP.
236
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,137
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THE GUY
ALLY HIRED STINKS.
237
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,240
HE'S NOT GETTING
ANY OF MY CAKE.
238
00:12:55,545 --> 00:12:59,445
ALLY, YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN
WHAT'S GOING ON?
239
00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:02,249
WELL, I KIND OF
240
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:04,382
ACCIDENTALLY HIRED
DALLAS TO WORK HERE
241
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,864
AND I KNOW I NEED TO LET
HIM GO, BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE
TRISH HAS HIS OLD JOB,
242
00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:10,318
- AND EVEN THOUGH
HE'S BAD AT ZEROES, HE--
- LOOK, ALLY.
243
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,160
THIS IS YOUR MESS.
244
00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:15,002
YOU KNOW WE CAN'T AFFORD
ANOTHER EMPLOYEE.
245
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,165
YOU HAVE TO FIRE DALLAS.
246
00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:22,469
I KNOW.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
247
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:32,540
- HEY, DALLAS.
- I'M ALMOST DONE
WITH THE PICKS.
248
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:35,092
I BROKE A COUPLE.
249
00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:37,315
HOW DID YOU--?
250
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,587
THAT'S OKAY.
LISTEN,
251
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:41,919
I REALLY ENJOY HAVING
YOU AROUND HERE, BUT--
252
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:45,002
THANKS SO MUCH
FOR GIVING ME THIS JOB.
253
00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:47,525
I LOVE IT HERE.
AND THE BEST PART?
254
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,857
I GET TO SEE YOU
EVERY DAY.
255
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,330
( giggles )
256
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,042
AW, REALLY?
257
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,305
AW, REALLY?!
258
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:08,446
I COULDN'T FIRE DALLAS.
I TRIED,
259
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,518
BUT HE STARTED TALKING
ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LIKES
HANGING OUT WITH ME
260
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:15,161
AND I ENDED UP
GIVING HIM A RAISE.
261
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,025
I LIKE HANGING OUT
WITH YOU.
262
00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:19,357
I'M NOT GIVING YOU
ANY MONEY.
263
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,189
- LISTEN, TRISH--
- FINE, I'LL FIRE DALLAS
FOR YOU.
264
00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:25,343
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I WAS GONNA ASK.
265
00:14:25,335 --> 00:14:28,135
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE I'D FIRE HIM GOOD.
266
00:14:28,138 --> 00:14:31,068
REAL GOOD.
267
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,141
NO.
268
00:14:33,143 --> 00:14:37,213
I WANT YOU TO QUIT
YOUR JOB SO WE CAN GET
DALLAS HIS OLD JOB BACK.
269
00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:38,547
I'M NOT QUITTING.
270
00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:41,408
I'LL ADMIT AT FIRST
I WAS ONLY KEEPING THIS JOB
271
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:44,351
TO PROVE A POINT.
BUT I ACTUALLY LIKE IT.
272
00:14:44,354 --> 00:14:47,224
I GET TO TALK
ON THE PHONE ALL DAY,
273
00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:50,187
AND IT TURNS OUT
I'M GREAT AT BEJEWELING.
274
00:14:57,227 --> 00:14:59,527
WOW, YOU'RE GOOD AT A JOB?
275
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,070
OH, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
276
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:08,284
LISTEN, I KNOW THIS
IS HARD FOR YOU.
277
00:15:08,278 --> 00:15:11,138
IF IT'LL MAKE IT EASIER,
I'LL QUIT.
278
00:15:11,141 --> 00:15:13,011
- REALLY?
- HEH, NO.
279
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,454
BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT:
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW
TO FIRE DALLAS.
280
00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:21,687
I'VE PICKED UP A FEW THINGS
FROM BEING FIRED 307 TIMES.
281
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:26,134
WHAT'S UP, GIRLS?
282
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,656
- WOW.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS
HAVEN'T MESSED UP YET.
283
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:31,358
PLEASE.
THIS IS THE EASIEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.
284
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:35,011
IT'S THE EASIER-EST
THING I'VE EVER DONE.
285
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,666
( pop music playing )
286
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:07,074
OKAY, YOU WANNA FIRE SOMEONE,
287
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,497
YOU GOT OPTIONS.
288
00:16:08,498 --> 00:16:11,438
YOU NEED TO FIND OUT
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
289
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:15,751
I LIKE TO KEEP IT SIMPLE.
I CALL THIS "THE CLASSIC FIRE."
290
00:16:18,108 --> 00:16:19,548
DALLAS?
YOU'RE FIRED!
291
00:16:19,549 --> 00:16:22,079
PACK UP YOUR STUFF
AND GET OUT OF MY FACE!
292
00:16:23,253 --> 00:16:25,993
THAT SEEMS
A LITTLE HARSH.
293
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,485
OKAY, THEN THERE'S
"THE FRIENDLY FIRE."
294
00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:35,302
( nicely )
DALLAS, YOU'RE FIRED.
295
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:38,195
PACK UP YOUR STUFF
AND GET OUT OF MY FACE.
296
00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:44,502
THAT STILL SOUNDS
A LITTLE HARSH.
297
00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:49,106
REALLY? WOW.
298
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,339
OKAY, HERE'S THIS!
299
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,241
"THE SILENT FIRE."
300
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:02,019
FINE.
LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE.
301
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,231
I'LL BE DALLAS.
SHOW ME HOW YOU'D FIRE ME.
302
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:12,129
HEY, ALLY.
303
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,502
YOUR HAIR LOOKS
REALLY NICE TODAY.
304
00:17:14,504 --> 00:17:17,044
( giggles )
REALLY?
305
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,336
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN USING
THIS NEW CONDITIONER.
306
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,409
I MEAN, HEY, DALLAS,
307
00:17:21,411 --> 00:17:23,511
THERE'S SOMETHING WE
NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
308
00:17:23,513 --> 00:17:25,283
I KNOW, I WAS LATE.
309
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:27,345
I'M SORRY.
MY BIKE HAD
A FLAT TIRE AND--
310
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,547
I CAN FIX IT FOR YOU!
311
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,249
ALLY!
312
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,352
YOU SHOULD JUST
LET ME FIRE HIM.
313
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,764
I KNOW THE PERFECT WAY.
314
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:40,085
I CALL IT "THE BIG WHAMMO
PUBLIC HUMILIATION FIRE."
315
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:43,130
I'M GONNA NEED A MARCHING
BAND, A GOSPEL CHOIR,
A JUGGLING BEAR--
316
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,593
NO, I SHOULD DO IT.
317
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:48,666
FINE.
BUT YOU'RE TOO NICE.
318
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,298
YOU NEED TO BE WORKED UP
TO FIRE DALLAS.
319
00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:54,271
ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?
320
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:57,414
WELL, I REALLY DON'T
LIKE WHEN PEOPLE
321
00:17:57,407 --> 00:18:00,277
TALK WITH FOOD
IN THEIR MOUTH.
322
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,380
OH, AND WHEN PEOPLE
SAY "LIBERRY"
323
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,082
INSTEAD OF "LIBRARY."
324
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,463
OR WHAT ABOUT THE NOISE
STYROFOAM MAKES WHEN
YOU RUB IT TOGETHER?
325
00:18:07,457 --> 00:18:10,817
THE... ( mimics squeaking )
I HATE THAT!
326
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,220
OKAY, ALLY.
THIS IS GOOD.
327
00:18:13,223 --> 00:18:14,593
YEAH, I CAN DO THIS.
328
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,404
I'M GONNA FIRE HIM
WHEN HE SHOWS UP
FOR WORK LATER.
329
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,397
GREAT!
LET'S GET YOU WORKED UP.
330
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:25,241
- ( squeaking Styrofoam )
LIBERRY, LIBERRY, LIBERRY...
- ( moaning )
331
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,710
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE FIVE MINUTES AWAY
FROM BREAKING THE OLD RECORD.
332
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:37,123
SOON THE NEW RECORD
WILL BELONG TO ME.
333
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,316
UNLESS SOMETHING HAPPENS
THAT MAKES YOU DROP
THE BALL.
334
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,819
- ( blowing )
- HEY!
335
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,450
- OOPS.
- ( shrieks )
336
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,355
GUYS, STOP IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
337
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,829
YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS.
338
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,360
ARE YOU REALLY FIGHTING
OVER GETTING YOUR NAME
IN SOME STUPID BOOK?
339
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,206
SORRY. I'M SURE
IT'S A GREAT BOOK.
340
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,672
ALLY'S RIGHT.
WE'RE BEING SILLY.
341
00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:06,854
YEAH, I DON'T EVEN CARE
IF I GET THE RECORD.
342
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,316
IN FACT,
I HOPE YOU GET IT.
343
00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:12,579
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GONNA LET YOU WIN.
344
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:18,326
WOW, THANKS, MAN.
345
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,258
YOU KNOW WHAT?
346
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,390
I'M GONNA LET YOU WIN.
347
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:28,565
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
I ALREADY LOST!
348
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:32,468
- YOU WERE ABOUT
TO SET THE RECORD.
- OH MAN!
349
00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:38,475
- WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO NOW?
- I GOTTA GO BUY MY MOM
NEW PLATES.
350
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,908
OKAY, I CAN DO THIS.
351
00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:48,193
OH, DALLAS,
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
352
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,617
I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU TOO.
353
00:19:49,619 --> 00:19:51,519
I HAVE TO QUIT
WORKING HERE.
354
00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,491
THERE'S NO EASY WAY
TO SAY THIS BUT-- WHAT?
355
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,725
- YOU'RE QUITTING?
- YEAH.
356
00:19:57,727 --> 00:20:00,627
I'M REALLY SORRY,
BUT I GOT ANOTHER JOB AND--
357
00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:02,930
( sarcastically )
AWWW! ARE YOU KIDDING?!
358
00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:06,542
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
WORK HERE ANYMORE? MAN!
359
00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:08,776
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
360
00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:10,878
THAT STINKS! WHY?
361
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,210
WELL, I GOT A NEW JOB
AT THELIBERRY.
362
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,422
OHH,LIBRARY?
REALLY?
363
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,416
YEAH, MY MOM'S
A LIBERRIAN...
364
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,218
- OOOH.
- ...AND SHE'S BEEN TRYING
TO GET ME TO WORK
365
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,520
- AT THE LIBERRY
FOR A WHILE.
- AH AH.
366
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:27,403
DARN!
DARNY DARN DARN.
367
00:20:27,397 --> 00:20:29,657
LET ME JUST TAKE
THAT LAST BOX UP
BEFORE I GO.
368
00:20:32,662 --> 00:20:34,532
( glass shatters )
369
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,244
SORRY.
370
00:20:38,368 --> 00:20:40,268
YOU COULDN'T DO IT,
COULD YOU?
371
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:42,670
I DIDN'T HAVE TO.
HE QUIT.
372
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:45,622
- HE GOT ANOTHER JOB.
- HE QUIT?
373
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:48,275
- UH-OH.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN UH-OH?
374
00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:50,648
I KNEW YOU COULDN'T
GO THROUGH WITH FIRING HIM,
375
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,420
SO I KINDA TOOK MATTERS
INTO MY OWN HANDS.
376
00:20:53,423 --> 00:20:55,633
( marching band playing )
377
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,867
( sour note plays )
378
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,614
REALLY?
A MARCHING BAND?
379
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,947
UM, TH-THERE'S MORE.
380
00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:22,779
♪ YOU'RE SO FIRED, OOOH,
YOU'RE SO FIRED ♪
381
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,892
♪ IN FACT,
YOU WERE NEVER HIRED ♪
382
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,516
♪ YOU'RE SO FIRED, OOOH,
YOU'RE SO FIRED ♪
383
00:21:29,519 --> 00:21:32,859
♪ ALLY WANTS TO FIRE YOU
BECAUSE YOU STINK AT
WHAT YOU DO ♪
384
00:21:32,862 --> 00:21:36,672
♪ ALLY WANTS
TO FIRE YOU BECAUSE YOU
STINK AT WHAT YOU DO ♪
385
00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:38,796
♪ YOU'RE FIRED, OOOH. ♪
386
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,898
( fanfare )
387
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,980
OH.
388
00:21:51,981 --> 00:21:55,351
SO THAT'S THE BIG WHAMMO
PUBLIC HUMILIATION FIRE
389
00:21:55,345 --> 00:21:57,085
I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
390
00:21:57,086 --> 00:21:59,416
IT USUALLY ENDS
WITH A JUGGLING BEAR.
391
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:01,619
NEXT TIME.
392
00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:17,674
OH, DALLAS,
393
00:22:17,667 --> 00:22:22,367
I AM SO SORRY ABOUT
THE WHOLE FIRING-YOU,
MARCHING-BAND THING.
394
00:22:22,372 --> 00:22:24,772
IT'S OKAY,
I PROBABLY DESERVED IT.
395
00:22:24,774 --> 00:22:26,824
I WASN'T
THE BEST EMPLOYEE.
396
00:22:26,816 --> 00:22:29,476
I JUST-- I GET
SO NERVOUS WHEN
I'M AROUND YOU SOMETIMES.
397
00:22:29,479 --> 00:22:31,779
YOU GET NERVOUS
AROUNDME?
398
00:22:31,781 --> 00:22:33,921
AROUND NERVOUS
I GET YOU.
399
00:22:35,485 --> 00:22:37,955
- SEE?
- I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING.
400
00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:40,387
- I HAVE TO WORK AT THE LIBERRY.
- EHHH.
401
00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:47,974
SO I'M GUESSING
NO MORE CRUSH SINCE
HE SAYS LIBERRY?
402
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,937
ACTUALLY IT'S KINDA CUTE
WHEN HE SAYS IT.
403
00:22:50,940 --> 00:22:53,600
WELL, ON A MORE
IMPORTANT NOTE,
404
00:22:53,603 --> 00:22:57,483
GUESS WHO KEPT HER JOB
AT THE CELLPHONE CART
FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS?
405
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,977
NOT YOU.
IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS.
406
00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:02,849
WHAT?
I JUST QUIT!
407
00:23:02,852 --> 00:23:06,022
AW MAN.
OH WELL.
408
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:10,387
HEY! WE'VE DECIDED
TO SET NEW WORLD RECORDS.
409
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,659
I'M GONNA BE
THE WORLD'S OLDEST MAN,
410
00:23:13,663 --> 00:23:15,123
STARTING... NOW!
411
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,096
WHEW, ONLY 107 YEARS TO GO.
412
00:23:20,670 --> 00:23:22,900
AND I'M GOING TO
PLATE SPINNER. BEST
413
00:23:24,073 --> 00:23:26,683
STARTING... NOW!
414
00:23:27,677 --> 00:23:28,807
-( smashes )
- HANG ON.
415
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,180
HANG ON.
416
00:23:33,443 --> 00:23:34,613
HANG ON.
417
00:23:35,785 --> 00:23:37,685
HANG ON.
418
00:23:38,748 --> 00:23:41,018
-HANG ON.
-( smashes )
30480
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