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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,296 (dramatic music) 4 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,376 (ominous music) 5 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,614 (crowd applauds) 6 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,984 - And do we have a peach of a day or not? 7 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,424 You know, it's my goal to get more jobs 8 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:40,027 to the people of this city than ever before. 9 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,497 Well, we have here the executive of Freedom Foods, 10 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,499 and we have them to thank for it, 11 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,701 so let's give them a big round of applause. 12 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,438 (crowd applauds) 13 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,309 - [Crowd] USA, USA, USA, USA! 14 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,981 (playful music) 15 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,887 (munching) 16 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,561 (screaming) (snoring) 17 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,662 - [Man] Oh God, it's got teeth. 18 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,198 Oh my God, let me through. 19 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:52,433 (screams) 20 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,402 - I forgot how to get-- - Better run, everybody. 21 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,537 You can't stay, you can't stay. 22 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,506 One pass and I'm done. 23 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,608 I can't see. - I can you. 24 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,343 You're ascared of me. 25 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,046 (growling) 26 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,014 (gun fires) 27 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:10,117 - Oh, hello, Principal Johnson. 28 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,452 You just missed movie time. 29 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:12,520 (bell rings) 30 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,855 Oh. (kids cheering) 31 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,123 Alright, kids. 32 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,625 Have a great weekend. 33 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,060 I'll see you next week; one more week of fifth grade. 34 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,596 Try not to act, uh, too upset. 35 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,034 - I just had to see for myself. 36 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,202 Congratulations, Sam? 37 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,305 This isn't exactly school curriculum. 38 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:34,274 - It's the second to last Friday of the school year. 39 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,609 I just thought I'd reward them 40 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,611 with something a little more fun. 41 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,713 - What's Sam deserve congratulating for? 42 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,282 - He finally got one of his films into a big film festival. 43 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,283 - Oh! 44 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,452 Did he? 45 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,987 Oh, was it, Zombie Space Vikings? 46 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,297 Zombie Prom Night? 47 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,933 - There's something wrong with my face! 48 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,935 (screaming) 49 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,003 - Shirley no! 50 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,076 - Or was it, uh, something with babies? 51 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,945 - Zombie Abortion Apocalypse. 52 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,481 - Zembryos attack! 53 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:18,452 Sweet revenge, sweet revenge! 54 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,120 - Oh, oh, yeah that one, yeah. 55 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,855 - You have to admire his persistence. 56 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:25,693 - Dear, persistence can be a sign of insanity. 57 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:27,761 - Hyyy-ya! 58 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,202 - Easy. 59 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:38,939 - That, boys and girls, is our classic ninja 60 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,174 zombie kill move. 61 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,877 Well that's it for class today. 62 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,346 Parents, you should be proud of these little ninjas. 63 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,115 - And remember, next Tuesday is our home 64 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,851 invasion defense workshop. 65 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,352 - Yes parents, it's good practice 66 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,854 for those of you who do not want your kids kidnapped, 67 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,557 or raped, or raped by kidnappers. 68 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,561 - Kidnapping can really stunt a child's development. 69 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,529 - Hell yeah. 70 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,499 * I can't buy you dinner 71 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,735 - [Man] Popper, Popper! 72 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,470 - Hey, what the shit? 73 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,874 I'll just, I'll just stay down here. 74 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,809 - [Woman] You're gonna want to get up for this. 75 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:16,910 - Oh, I'm up. 76 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,347 - What can I help you with? 77 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,249 - Steve Popolopsis? 78 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,485 - My friends call me Popper. 79 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,219 What do they call you, baby? 80 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,655 Hot Pink? 81 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:31,925 - Oh you can call me whatever you like, Popper, 82 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,994 but you've been served. 83 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,529 - Oh, shit. 84 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,564 - Been served what? 85 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,565 A sexy-gram? 86 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,835 Fuckin' bitch. 87 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,370 - I get that a bunch. 88 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:46,039 You have a nice day, Mr. Popper. 89 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,546 - Popper don't preach, bro, 90 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,748 she done filed for D. 91 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,049 (laughing) 92 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:56,884 - Shut up. 93 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:58,719 Shut up! 94 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:05,058 - [Felecia] Mr. Pentergass, we thank you 95 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,696 for your short film submission, Deadbeat Zombie Dad, 96 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,398 to the 2016 horror film fest. 97 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,434 We are sorry to inform you Deadbeat Zombie Dad 98 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,104 did not make our final lineup in the festival. 99 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,140 The truth is your movie is a steaming pile 100 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,776 of shitnuggets, with the production value 101 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,612 of a home video shot by a deaf, 102 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:28,148 blind amputee that is drunk on cheap gin. 103 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,485 Please consider quitting filmmaking altogether, 104 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,821 maybe concentrating on digging ditches full time. 105 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,589 Hopefully you'll perish in a fire 106 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,825 or contract genital herpes. 107 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:43,497 Warm regards, festival director Felecia Fugate. 108 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,398 - Sweetie, how's my little Scorsese? 109 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:48,769 - Uh, yeah, mom, just a second. 110 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,604 - Sweetheart, I want that letter 111 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,005 to put in your book. 112 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,141 - This is not a good time, alright? 113 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,644 - Honey, all your friends are here already. 114 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,478 You've gotta come out. 115 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:02,249 Now get your tail out here, you're being rude! 116 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,421 (upbeat music) 117 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,289 - Hey. 118 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,768 - Hey. - Hey, congratulations. 119 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:21,835 - Yeah, thanks for coming. 120 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,836 - Course. 121 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,538 - Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. 122 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,340 - Hey, Horatio. 123 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,109 - Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam! 124 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:34,381 Well, I guess a congratulations is in order. 125 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,383 - Thank you. - Sam, Sam. 126 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,353 It is not that I don't-- 127 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,722 - 'Scuse me, bro. 128 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,791 - Hey, man. - Guys look! 129 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:45,893 Stoner cam! 130 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,696 - Hey that's awesome, man. 131 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:49,697 That's really cool. 132 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,199 - It's great, it really was, 133 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,035 It's not that I don't like Zombie Dad, 134 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,906 it's just that it is lacking something. 135 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,174 It's just, it's lacking something. 136 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,042 How would one say? 137 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,510 It is... 138 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,178 It is complete shit, Sam. 139 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,715 It is complete and utter shit. 140 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,550 Because you casted amateurs, Sam. 141 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,319 Amateurs. - Oh, yeah. 142 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,554 - And I know that Ocean Spray has his Megacuts commercial, 143 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,889 I know that. 144 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,090 I know that but I-- - Yeah it's a good commercial. 145 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,258 - It's a pretty good commercial, 146 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,326 I will say that. 147 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,394 But everybody else, Sam-- 148 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,596 - I'll be thinking 149 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,164 about you when I drop this deuce. 150 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,934 I've got a turtlehead saying let me out, let me out. 151 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:27,868 Move, bitch. 152 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,070 - No, Tibo, I actually really-- 153 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,607 - That was lovely, Tibo, thank you. 154 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,842 - M-hmm. 155 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,043 - It is a wonder, Mr. Pentergass-- 156 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,077 - Yes. 157 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,045 - If you're even talented at all. 158 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:38,946 - Great. 159 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,748 Thank you so much, Horatio. 160 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,251 Do you mind if I just kinda have my party? 161 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,953 - I'm leaving now, Sam. 162 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,520 - Okay. 163 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,521 Thanks, thanks for coming. 164 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,723 Awesome, Sam. 165 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,024 How you gonna get out of this one? 166 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,193 It's not like you can say, whoops, sorry, 167 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:56,029 I didn't actually read the letter. 168 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,132 (upbeat music) 169 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,902 - You're like a legit filmmaker now, bro! 170 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,603 We should team up, you know, make a movie, 171 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,239 like, what if like two guys travel across 172 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:10,778 the country on their motorcycles in search of America? 173 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,313 - Yeah, man, um... 174 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,785 I think that's already might've already kinda 175 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,119 been done, but we can do something else-- 176 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,988 - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 177 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,222 Alright, I got another one. 178 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,924 I got another one. - Okay, alright, yeah. 179 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,325 - Two guys. - Okay. 180 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,327 - Wake up in the morning, 181 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,162 and their car is gone. 182 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,464 - Yeah. 183 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,632 Yup. 184 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,001 - What was up with that cheer uniform today? 185 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,102 I saw you at the rally. 186 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,436 - Shut it down... 187 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,938 - You were looking awfully cheerful. 188 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,007 - The new owners are making that place my prison. 189 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,274 - Mmm. 190 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,442 - But I got paid one hundred bucks 191 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:43,643 to put on the costume. 192 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,577 - Hiiya! 193 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,445 - Oh! 194 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,479 Alright, alright. 195 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,848 - Oh. - Oh, okay. 196 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,450 - Hey, hey baby. 197 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:52,585 - Die, asshole. 198 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,354 - Oh, asshole, sass, I dig. 199 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,856 You like to party? 200 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,857 - You wanna play? 201 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:57,958 - Mmm, yeah I wanna play. 202 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:58,992 - You wouldn't get anywhere near 203 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,329 this unless I was dead, or dead. 204 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,664 You have poop on your shirt. 205 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,299 It's gross. - Hi, y'all! 206 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,502 I have some Freedom Cakes fresh from the factory. 207 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,771 Eat 'em all up! 208 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,706 - I'm alright. 209 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,640 Thanks. 210 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,775 - Aw, they're good. 211 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:15,943 You have a good time! 212 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,644 - Thanks, Ms. Ecky. 213 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,678 - I think I'm going to vomit. 214 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,047 - Yeah, vomit. 215 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,649 - Sam, I, I had my kids make you cards. 216 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,817 - Nice. 217 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,952 Thank you. 218 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,155 Oh. - Yeah, and this one's mine. 219 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,022 - Nice! 220 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,131 Bros. 221 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,202 - Fuck off! 222 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,737 - Hey, hey. 223 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,139 - Your hair looks like my cousin's bleached asshole. 224 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,808 - Why you got so much aggression? 225 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,509 Be so pretty. 226 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,212 Your cousin bleaches her asshole? 227 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,884 Hey neighbor, you like to party and get naked? 228 00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,352 I eat butt. 229 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,757 And not just on Fridays. 230 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,992 - You see that Tiffany chick? 231 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,026 She's here. 232 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:06,894 - Tiffany? 233 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,061 - Yeah. 234 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,262 Dude, I think she's in the kitchen. 235 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,163 - Yeah. 236 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:10,998 - She's really here? 237 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:12,199 - Yeah. 238 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,666 She's like an angel, man, I'm telling you. 239 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:14,902 I talked to her for a minute. 240 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:15,735 - Oh yeah? 241 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,569 - Yeah. 242 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,405 - We're twins. 243 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,773 - Twins? 244 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,673 Really? 245 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,610 - Identical. 246 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,677 - Identical. 247 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,353 - Hey guys. 248 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,554 - Hey. 249 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,756 - Sammy finally has a ticket out of here. 250 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,558 And a girl like Tiffany only thinks about 251 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,261 one thing; getting out. 252 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,530 - What are we talking about? 253 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,965 - Tiffany Taylor. 254 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,901 She's blonde. 255 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:48,936 - Mm... 256 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,370 - I touched her hair over there. 257 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,905 - Oh... 258 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,240 - Oh man, did you tell 259 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,441 her that you were going to do that? 260 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,876 - No I just went by and I swiped it. 261 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,411 (upbeat music) 262 00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,446 - Oh! 263 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,114 Peter Anthony! 264 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,449 - So your little runt did it, huh? 265 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,550 - Yes he did. 266 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,152 And he's gotta go say something. 267 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,386 He can't just like, sit there. 268 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,587 You gotta go get him to make a speech. 269 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,889 - I think this could be a good thing 270 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:09,823 because he is such a good public speaker. 271 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:10,958 - Honey, please! 272 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,626 Oh, don't you be nasty! 273 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,062 - Congratulations, sis, I'm proud of you. 274 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:15,963 - I'm so proud. 275 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,097 I'm so proud! 276 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,298 Ah! 277 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,467 - Hey Spray, thanks for coming, man. 278 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,568 - Sammy. 279 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,836 - Hey Uncle P. 280 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,837 - How you doin'? 281 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:24,905 - Good, man, yeah. 282 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,173 - There's a mind-numbing fox walking 283 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,108 around this shindig. 284 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,342 Good work. 285 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,844 Normally you just have a bunch of pot-faced 286 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:34,747 losers, but um, you've got like have the town here. 287 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,184 - Yeah man, her name is Tiffany. 288 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:40,487 I was just getting ready to go talk to her. 289 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,654 - No shit. 290 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:45,492 - Oh come on, man, she's like half your age! 291 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,427 - Maybe some of you devils just showed up 292 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,197 'cause you heard my boy made a winning film. 293 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,364 Woo! 294 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,367 (crowd applauds) 295 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,768 I'm so proud of you. 296 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,370 I'm so proud of you. 297 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,042 I'm so, 298 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,476 I'm so so sorry, honey. 299 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,313 - No, it's alright, um-- - They didn't they don't know 300 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,647 he didn't have such an easy way of it 301 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,149 when he was growing up. 302 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,284 Without his papa, 303 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,453 well, that lowdown, scumbag, 304 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,788 scoundrel, may he rot in hell forever. 305 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:16,656 - Okay. 306 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:17,991 - But anyway! 307 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:21,061 I always told him, I always told him, 308 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,899 what you think about, what you believe, 309 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,634 you can make happen. 310 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:29,669 And he did! 311 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,972 He did. 312 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,740 Save me, honey. 313 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,741 Save your mama. 314 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,575 - Oh okay. 315 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,145 Alright. 316 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,679 - I'm just so proud of you. 317 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,880 - Thank you, mom. 318 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,882 Thank you, seriously, thank you so much. 319 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,384 Thank you so much. 320 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,321 - Uh, um, well everybody, um, 321 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:55,728 you know how much I love making movies, and uh, 322 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:59,232 so I want to thank you all for being here. 323 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,069 Um, you know, but the thing 324 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:05,272 is guys, um, well when I got the letter 325 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,011 in the mail, you know? 326 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,958 We did it! 327 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,026 We totally made it! 328 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,360 We're going to Hollywood! 329 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,896 Mom, we're going to Hollywood! 330 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,265 We're going! 331 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,868 (crowd applauds) We did it! 332 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,407 - [Crowd] Deadbeat Zombie Dad! 333 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,808 Deadbeat Zombie Dad! 334 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:42,976 Deadbeat Zombie Dad! 335 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,477 - Come here, sweetheart. 336 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,047 Listen, we're just going to slide out of here 337 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,282 'cause we're already late for our little girls' trip. 338 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,151 Now, we're going to be back on Sunday 339 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,720 and you better be sure that this whole place is cleaned up 340 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:54,921 by then, okay? 341 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,623 - Okay. - Oh I love you, sweetheart! 342 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,325 I am so proud of you! 343 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,392 - I love you, mom. 344 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,493 Thank you. 345 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,628 Okay, alright. - I love you so much. 346 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,130 Have a good time. - Thanks. 347 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,165 - Yeah! 348 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,636 - I'm so proud of you, dude. - I know. 349 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,604 - You killed it. 350 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,972 I love you, man. 351 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,576 - Sam? 352 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,610 - Hey! - Hey! 353 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,845 - Hey! 354 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,514 - Hey, I just wanted to say again how amazing 355 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,183 I think you did today. 356 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,084 - Okay. 357 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:24,917 - Um. 358 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,119 - Yuhuh. 359 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,156 - And I always knew you could do it. 360 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,193 - So yeah, no thank you. 361 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,028 So here's the thing-- - So congratulations! 362 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,197 - No I, thank you so much! 363 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,166 Thank you! - Thanks. 364 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,167 - Pam. 365 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,869 So hey, here's the thing. 366 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,338 - What? - I did not get in. 367 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,374 I totally did not get in. 368 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:49,842 - What? 369 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,011 - No, absolutely not. 370 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,013 - Oh okay, I think you've had a little 371 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,048 too much to drink. 372 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,283 - I have. 373 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:59,152 And that's fuckin' great everybody. 374 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,520 So here's the thing. 375 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,656 You are great, and I, I appreciate it, 376 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,992 so thank you. 377 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,627 Thank you guys! 378 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,963 And I'm gonna, I'm goin' I don't know... 379 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:13,966 - Yeah! 380 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,203 You know what, where we're going? 381 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,370 Hollywood! 382 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,172 - We are kings of the world! 383 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,542 - I'm gonna punch you right in the dick. 384 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,478 - So, first of all, 385 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:28,915 you are great. 386 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,320 And you're very talented. 387 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:38,891 So I think that you should come out to the premiere. 388 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,229 Quentin Tarantino, you know Quentin Tarantino? 389 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,996 - Hey dude, look at all this hot ass! 390 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,765 - Yeah I know. - Look at all this hot ass! 391 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,267 - And so you need to know. 392 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,335 - To us. 393 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,736 - That you're pretty. - To us. 394 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,070 - And you should come to the show. 395 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,239 You can be in my next movie, 396 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,574 and that's really fucking great. 397 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,409 - We love you man. 398 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,444 - Dude, I love you. 399 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,345 - Dick punch. 400 00:17:58,345 --> 00:17:59,512 Dick punch it. 401 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:01,681 - Sam? 402 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,084 * Just out, hanging around 403 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,390 - Sweetie? 404 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,760 How's my very own little Clint Eastwood? 405 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,364 - Mr. Pentergass. 406 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:22,902 Your movie is a steaming pile of shit-nuggets. 407 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,036 - No! 408 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,438 It was a mistake! 409 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,243 - Sam. 410 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,044 Sam! 411 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,814 Sam! 412 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,383 Sam! - Shit, what? 413 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,584 - Sam get your ass up. 414 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,551 Come on, we gotta go, we gotta go. 415 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,552 - What, man? 416 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,587 What the fuck? 417 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,788 - Ninja painting, bro, man. 418 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,922 We gotta finish colonel's house today 419 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,791 or we do not get paid. 420 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,559 Come on! 421 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,460 - Uh, shit. 422 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,628 - Fellas are already in the van. 423 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,829 Come on, let's go. - Are you kidding me? 424 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,231 - The dojo is not going to pay for itself. 425 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,332 - That's today, man? 426 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,833 - No it was last week. 427 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,901 What the fuck you think, man? 428 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:55,902 Come on get your ass up. 429 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,304 Come on, come on, man. 430 00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,307 - Okay, okay, fuck it. - Come on. 431 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,609 Your place is trashed. 432 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,444 You're lucky your mom's not here, dude. 433 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,278 - Agh. 434 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,282 (laughing) 435 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,418 Dude, what the fuck, man? 436 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,255 - Here, here, here, clean your face off 437 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:20,260 you got some shit on your forehead. (laughs) 438 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,762 oh my God, that is bad. 439 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,765 - Aw shit, man! 440 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:26,966 Shit! 441 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,801 - Aw hell no, is that? 442 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,040 - This place is trashed. 443 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,843 You're lucky your mom is not here. 444 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:40,980 - Noodles! 445 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:43,716 Good girl! 446 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:44,984 Aww, good girl. 447 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,354 Yes you eat that up! - Oh hell naw. 448 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,956 - Oh! - That's disgusting, man. 449 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:58,298 * I don't want her - Come on, let's go! 450 00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,532 - Dude! 451 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,733 You want to take a shit? 452 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,369 I've got a big yard. 453 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,203 Neighbors would love that, sorry, sorry! 454 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,071 Come on, would you come on! 455 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:05,905 - I'm sorry! 456 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,575 (intense music) 457 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,413 - I'm sorry, Sam-a-lamading-dong, 458 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,915 about last night but I had to let off some steam. 459 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,484 - No problem, man. 460 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,257 You're already drinking? 461 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,527 - Well it's Saturday, so I'm gonna get fucked up. 462 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,265 And then there's Janice, bitch is divorcing me, 463 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,700 so I hope she gets genital herpes 464 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,736 and poison ivy on her nipples in the same afternoon. 465 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,071 Fuck it, I'm getting wrecked! 466 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,775 You're a fuckin' mad man lying about getting 467 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,511 into the festival. 468 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,578 - Wait, what? 469 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,047 - Yeah, you said we were going to get 470 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,016 an apartment in L.A., asshole. 471 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:53,520 - Yeah, I was totally gonna get laid by a girl. 472 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,754 - And I think you should be with me 473 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,689 at the premiere and that's, 474 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,392 it's gonna be good for everybody. 475 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,593 And wait no, 476 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,029 I don't even know-- - You charlatan! 477 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,297 - You know you are a dick. 478 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,466 And I don't, know-- - Rejection letter? 479 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,468 - You shouldn't read that because here's the thing. 480 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,936 - No! - No because I'm gonna go, 481 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,270 because I'm gonna because I talked to his agent. 482 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,473 (laughing) 483 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,042 Shit. 484 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,377 - You know folks are going to have a heyday 485 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,378 with that one, maestro. 486 00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,481 But don't worry about us, Sam, 487 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:24,584 I never really thought you got in. 488 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,785 - Thanks? 489 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,054 - You're welcome. - I did! 490 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,221 Dumbass. 491 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:30,289 I mean, the head smash in this last one 492 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,991 was the best one ever. 493 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:34,126 - Can you not hit so many bumps, Tibo? 494 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,562 I know I'm five minutes younger 495 00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:37,997 than you but shit, learn to drive, man. 496 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,099 - Look man, that's what you get for polluting your body. 497 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,469 I told you before, your body is your temple. 498 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,136 You should be ashamed of yourself. 499 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,606 - Oh my gosh, are you really bringing that up right now? 500 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,742 The person who jerks off to pregnancy videos? 501 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,910 Yeah, tell 'em, Tibo. 502 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,112 Tell everybody Tibo your darkness, 503 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,349 your dark secrets of the of the mom's birthing 504 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:58,818 and the babies coming out of the vagina. 505 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,687 And he jerks off to that. 506 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:01,854 Argh, I need to stop. 507 00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,022 - Dude, what? 508 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,991 - Listen, they're not pregnancy videos, 509 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:05,992 they're birthing videos. 510 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,193 Pregnancy videos are nasty. 511 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,696 Birthing videos are sexy and they're art. 512 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:10,997 - Whatever, your temple's just wrong. 513 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:11,998 - Dude. 514 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,833 - I haven't even tried that. 515 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,101 - Oh it's good, you should try it, man. 516 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,303 - Okay, okay, it gets kind of hot, 517 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,538 but it shouldn't be hot. 518 00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:19,772 - See, when you see those thighs open wide 519 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:23,476 and that water break and, and she's wet, yo. 520 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:24,477 - Ah! 521 00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:25,645 Oh God! 522 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,180 (yelling) 523 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,015 - Ow. 524 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,218 - Is that a walker? 525 00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:34,887 We almost had grandma in the grill. 526 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,056 - What's wrong with her? 527 00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,124 - She's old? 528 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:42,361 Mrs. Henry? 529 00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:46,966 Mrs. Henry we are so sorry, are you okay? 530 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:47,867 Mrs. Henry? 531 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,738 Hey, you alright? 532 00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:56,242 Let's get you back to your house okay? 533 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,815 Okay, here we go, there we go. 534 00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,818 I love what you did with your flowers. 535 00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:07,987 (farting) 536 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:17,664 Oh, okay. 537 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:22,201 Okay, Mrs. Henry I'm just gonna head back in, 538 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,104 you got it from here, right, yeah? 539 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:28,775 Okay, okay, uh, you should change your pants 540 00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,912 - Did you hear that shit? 541 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,347 I mean, I'm gonna need therapy after that, 542 00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:36,883 or a birthing video. 543 00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:39,118 - Guys can we please just go? 544 00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:41,688 It's like a dutch oven in here. 545 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:45,224 - You know what, there hasn't been a brother 546 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,594 like that in the state since, 547 00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:50,362 and he gave him the ol' dipsy-do. 548 00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:53,265 - [Waitress] Hi, what can I get for you? 549 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,266 - Just a root beer float. 550 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,268 - [Waitress] You got it. 551 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:03,442 - Hey, you're Pistol Love's nephew aren't you? 552 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,644 - Yeah. 553 00:24:04,711 --> 00:24:08,114 - Man, we were just talking about him. 554 00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,249 Hey listen, let me ask you somethin', son. 555 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,784 What's this bullshit lies we've been hearing 556 00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:15,955 about you winning some sort of award or something? 557 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,559 - Uh, yeah, it was more of a misunderstanding. 558 00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:21,427 I didn't win anything. 559 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,130 (sniffing) 560 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:27,967 - I smell bullshit boy, a big ol' steaming pile of it! 561 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,436 - Tell 'em, daddy! - Why don't you get 562 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,506 yourself a job and contribute something to society. 563 00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:35,441 - Yo, Spielberg! 564 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,676 Nice one, guy. 565 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:38,845 I heard you notched up another rejection? 566 00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:42,515 Going for a Guinness world record? 567 00:24:42,515 --> 00:24:44,016 - How did you guys hear about this? 568 00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:47,186 - I saw it on Instagram, I saw it on Instagram, 569 00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:50,322 Instagram, Instagram, Instagram, son. 570 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,426 - [Sam] And now the young have shown up to feed. 571 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,428 I'm like an Easter ham. 572 00:24:56,428 --> 00:25:01,100 This town is going to be chewing on my gristle for years. 573 00:25:09,375 --> 00:25:11,978 - Well, if he's gone he's gone, 574 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,513 we still gotta paint. 575 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:15,848 And pick up two weeks of dog shit 'cause 576 00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:17,717 we're late again. 577 00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:19,819 - Well I got good news and good news; 578 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,688 Patton's gone and I'm divorced. 579 00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:23,022 Let's paint. 580 00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:25,658 (upbeat music) 581 00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:35,902 Aw Jojo, you're killing me, man. 582 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:36,869 That ain't painting music, 583 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,504 we need some rock n' roll. 584 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,306 - Asian is good, too. 585 00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:41,674 - Asian music? 586 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,710 - Zen, my brother. 587 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,211 - What happened to you? 588 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,879 Help me out Sam-alam-a-ding-dong, 589 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:50,049 what kind of music do you like to listen to? 590 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,050 Sammy? 591 00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:52,218 You alright up there? 592 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:53,419 - Yeah, all good, man. 593 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:54,587 - Quit napping on the job, bitch. 594 00:25:54,587 --> 00:25:56,088 Who wants a beer? 595 00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:57,323 - I'm good. 596 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:58,725 - Guys, something was wrong with her eyes. 597 00:25:58,725 --> 00:25:59,992 - Whose eyes? 598 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,061 - It wasn't her eyes that were the problem, 599 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,663 it was her ass. 600 00:26:03,696 --> 00:26:05,264 Popper? 601 00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,699 - It was her ass. 602 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,268 - Sam. 603 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:10,402 Sam? 604 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,404 What are you looking at? 605 00:26:13,505 --> 00:26:14,506 - I don't know, man. 606 00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:15,875 Give me a second. 607 00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:19,511 Uh, guys, we got a problem up here. 608 00:26:19,545 --> 00:26:22,414 - Yeah, we don't have enough beer. 609 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,249 - Shit! 610 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:24,516 Go, go, go! 611 00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:25,718 We've got a problem, we've got a problem. 612 00:26:25,718 --> 00:26:27,219 - Yo, yo, what the fuck's the problem, man? 613 00:26:27,219 --> 00:26:28,855 - The colonel, man, he's fucked up! 614 00:26:28,855 --> 00:26:29,889 Hide! - Be careful, man. 615 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:30,857 Slow down, man! 616 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:32,091 - Hey! - Come on! 617 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:35,862 - What, is he butt-naked or something? 618 00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:37,096 - Sam! 619 00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:37,930 - Shit! 620 00:26:37,964 --> 00:26:38,798 Agh! 621 00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:40,532 Ah, shit! 622 00:26:42,468 --> 00:26:44,637 (yelling) 623 00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:47,774 - Go, go, go, go, go! 624 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:49,075 - Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! 625 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,276 - Go, go, go, Popper! 626 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:51,878 Go Popper! 627 00:26:51,911 --> 00:26:52,712 - Shit! 628 00:26:52,712 --> 00:26:53,545 Shit, shit, shit! 629 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:54,714 - Hey, watch out! 630 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:55,715 - Hey, what are you doing? 631 00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:56,548 Wait, wait! 632 00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:57,817 He's our only client! 633 00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:58,918 - I know. 634 00:26:58,951 --> 00:26:59,886 - What the fuck? 635 00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:01,220 - Everybody move! 636 00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:05,424 (yelling) 637 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,660 - Shit that wasn't even close! 638 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:08,995 What is that? 639 00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:10,229 You had one shot! 640 00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,564 - We'll be back once you fix yo' shit. 641 00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:15,501 And sorry about your chair. 642 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,103 Let's get the fuck out of here. 643 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,604 - No, Jojo, let's stick around, 644 00:27:18,604 --> 00:27:19,739 maybe play a little Backgammon. 645 00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,740 - Did you see his face? 646 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,074 Did you see that shit? 647 00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:23,943 - He's possessed by a demon! 648 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,277 Probably that Asian curse. 649 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:26,679 - There ain't no Asian curse, it's rabies, 650 00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:29,949 and I ain't getting 18 shots in my abs. 651 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:34,586 - What the hell is that? 652 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:37,589 - Patton. 653 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:41,027 - Oh that's rabies. 654 00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:45,765 - Well that's one dog you're better than, Sam. 655 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:47,800 What the hell are you going to do with that? 656 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:48,968 Cook him to death? 657 00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:51,170 - You guys got all the good shit. 658 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,371 I'm trying my best. 659 00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:53,773 - Shut up, guys. 660 00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,645 Alright we're gonna make a run for it, alright? 661 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,013 We're gonna get to the van, 662 00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:02,214 we're gonna lock the doors, 663 00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:03,382 we're gonna get the fuck off this street. 664 00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:05,617 - Alright, let's do it. 665 00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:09,555 - Jojo, the ladle, man, you look ridiculous. 666 00:28:09,555 --> 00:28:11,123 (glass breaking) 667 00:28:11,157 --> 00:28:11,991 - My bad. 668 00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:14,160 - Time to go, boys. 669 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,061 - Come on! 670 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:16,128 Let's go, go, go, go, go! 671 00:28:16,162 --> 00:28:17,196 - Stupid ass. 672 00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:20,867 - Who's got the keys? 673 00:28:20,867 --> 00:28:22,234 - Me, me, me, me! 674 00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:28,908 - Go, come on, come on, come on! 675 00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:30,209 Popper come on! 676 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:36,816 Get the door, get it! 677 00:28:36,816 --> 00:28:37,649 - Get the keys! 678 00:28:37,649 --> 00:28:38,818 Let's go! 679 00:28:38,851 --> 00:28:41,888 Put they keys in there, come on, man! 680 00:28:44,757 --> 00:28:45,724 Go, go, go! 681 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,760 Would you just please go? 682 00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:48,660 Tibo! 683 00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:51,030 Go! 684 00:28:55,367 --> 00:28:56,702 - Shit, man. 685 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,404 - Oh fuck. - We need to call the police. 686 00:28:58,404 --> 00:28:59,705 - What? - We need to call the police. 687 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,941 - We are two months behind on our dojo rent, 688 00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:03,175 he's our only client. 689 00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:05,244 - Okay, at the very least we have to contact 690 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:07,046 the Humane Society and report this. 691 00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,181 - You might as well report Sam too. 692 00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:11,517 Hey, he's the one feeding Noodles vomit 693 00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:13,352 pudding on the floor. 694 00:29:13,385 --> 00:29:14,553 - You guys don't even fuckin' care. 695 00:29:14,553 --> 00:29:15,554 - Sam. 696 00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:16,555 - What? 697 00:29:16,555 --> 00:29:17,623 - Your place. 698 00:29:19,125 --> 00:29:20,459 - What the hell? 699 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,428 - Hey guys! 700 00:29:24,630 --> 00:29:26,232 - Pam! 701 00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:28,200 Uh, what are you doing here? 702 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,035 Guys. 703 00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:29,869 - What? 704 00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:31,203 I ain't saying nothin'. 705 00:29:31,237 --> 00:29:32,538 - What are you doing here? 706 00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:35,474 - Oh, uh, I knocked and the door was open, 707 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:38,644 and I came in and saw the place and, well. 708 00:29:38,644 --> 00:29:40,312 It was not big deal. 709 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:43,983 - Thank you. 710 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,784 - No big deal? 711 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,287 There was vomit like, everywhere. 712 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,822 - There was? 713 00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:50,957 - [Announcer] We interrupt your regular programing. 714 00:29:50,957 --> 00:29:52,458 - Holy crap! 715 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:53,459 - [Announcer] This is the emergency broadcast system. 716 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,294 This is not a test. 717 00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:57,629 Repeat, this is not a test. 718 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,065 State and local authorities have issued 719 00:29:59,098 --> 00:30:00,933 a countywide warning. - Sam. 720 00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:03,135 - [Announcer] Stay indoors, lock all doors and windows. 721 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,303 - Holy shit. 722 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:05,771 - The authorities will be issuing further 723 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:09,842 instructions through the emergency broadcast system. 724 00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:18,951 - Sam, is that your mailman chasing Mrs. Henry's dog? 725 00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:27,459 (dramatic music) 726 00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,333 - Mom, please, please stop. 727 00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,301 Mom please! 728 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,302 - There is something seriously 729 00:30:36,302 --> 00:30:37,336 wrong, your mom is whack. 730 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,471 (moaning) 731 00:30:55,021 --> 00:30:57,523 (bright music) 732 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:14,073 * Moments are such fleeting things * 733 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:20,546 * It's strange though 734 00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:24,050 * What rapture one brings 735 00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:26,152 - Sam? 736 00:31:26,152 --> 00:31:27,353 Sam, Sam! 737 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:28,320 What the hell are you doing, man? 738 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,821 This is not a fucking movie! 739 00:31:29,855 --> 00:31:31,357 Come on, let's go! 740 00:31:31,357 --> 00:31:33,692 - Man we are not going to survive without this weaponry. 741 00:31:33,692 --> 00:31:34,860 We need some damn guns. 742 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,563 - I don't have any guns, I have a camera. 743 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:38,830 - Who gives a damn? 744 00:31:38,864 --> 00:31:41,033 - How are we the only people in Texas 745 00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:42,701 that don't own guns? 746 00:31:44,336 --> 00:31:45,837 - Let's go to my uncle's! 747 00:31:45,837 --> 00:31:47,606 - [Together] Pistol's. 748 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,410 - [DJ] Alright, let's take a phone call here. 749 00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:53,279 Good morning, you're live on the air 750 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,347 with Morning Fiasco. 751 00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:56,448 There's nobody there. 752 00:31:56,448 --> 00:31:57,549 There's nobody there. 753 00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:58,884 Uh, guys? 754 00:31:58,884 --> 00:32:00,953 (yelling) 755 00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:15,534 (sirens blaring) 756 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,548 - Looks like we've got company. 757 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:31,050 Ready to whoop some ass, little brother? 758 00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:33,119 - Yeah. - (laughs) Let's go. 759 00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:34,620 - Wait! 760 00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:36,955 Yeah, they're just regulars, man. 761 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,491 - Let's whoop their ass anyway. 762 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,935 - Pistol. 763 00:32:49,935 --> 00:32:51,437 You here? 764 00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:52,271 Uncle P! 765 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,273 Pistol? 766 00:32:55,941 --> 00:32:56,742 Pistol! 767 00:32:58,110 --> 00:32:59,478 - What the hell is going on here, huh? 768 00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:01,613 Somebody better start talking, quick. 769 00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:03,349 - You want the short or the long version? 770 00:33:03,349 --> 00:33:04,183 - Short. 771 00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:05,351 Very short. 772 00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:06,752 - Alright, so the town has been overrun-- 773 00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:08,320 - Corsicana has been overrun 774 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,989 by bloodythirsty, crazed zombies. 775 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,991 They may be rabid. 776 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,194 Either way it's very bad. 777 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:17,129 We came to you for guns. 778 00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:19,765 - Hey, any of these work? 779 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,967 - Does a pig shit turds, huh? 780 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,169 - Mhm. 781 00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,103 - What kind of idiots gonna keep working 782 00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:25,671 pistols in a roadhouse bar? 783 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,373 - None of these work? 784 00:33:28,807 --> 00:33:31,177 - Did somebody say Pistol? 785 00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,011 - Mr. Love strikes again. 786 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,347 Now what're we going to do? 787 00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,049 - Are you kidding me? 788 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:42,054 - Shit happens, Sam, I'm sorry about that, okay? 789 00:33:42,054 --> 00:33:44,323 Now the rest of you idiots, outta here, 790 00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,991 the joke's over, go home. 791 00:33:45,991 --> 00:33:48,127 - We're being serious. 792 00:33:48,127 --> 00:33:50,296 (banging) 793 00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:53,332 - Somebody open it. 794 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:54,533 - No, don't get it, don't get it! 795 00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:56,335 ibo, do not get that door. 796 00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:57,636 - Who is it? 797 00:33:57,636 --> 00:33:59,138 - It's Virginia, Dani-- - It's Virginia, Dani? 798 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,407 - And Horatio! - And Horatio. 799 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,641 - Horatio? 800 00:34:02,674 --> 00:34:04,810 Leave him out there. 801 00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:05,644 - What? 802 00:34:08,013 --> 00:34:09,047 Open the door. 803 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,217 (yelling) 804 00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:14,320 - What the hell is wrong with you people? 805 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,322 - We got shot at. 806 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,157 What the hell is happenin'? 807 00:34:18,157 --> 00:34:20,159 - They have got the entire town blocked off. 808 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:21,393 - I got it on my phone. 809 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:23,095 - There were bodies right in the middle 810 00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:24,163 of the street. 811 00:34:24,163 --> 00:34:26,165 - Oh Goddamn, oh shit! 812 00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:27,032 Fuck me. 813 00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:30,669 - Oh my God. 814 00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:34,373 I am calling my dad. 815 00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:37,243 - Can we have some guns? 816 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,910 - How is it that no one understands the guns 817 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:40,045 are for decoration? 818 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,247 - Pistol, we're pretty hungry. 819 00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:42,248 You got anything to eat? 820 00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:43,415 - Beer nuts, chips. 821 00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:44,250 - Sweet. 822 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:45,617 - Sam, no more lies. 823 00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:47,886 - Pistol, this is not a joke. 824 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,955 Something is seriously wrong here. 825 00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:51,623 - What am I doing here with you people? 826 00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:53,125 Pistol, take me home. 827 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:54,460 - It's like two for one night at the sizzler out there. 828 00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:56,695 We need guns like, pronto. 829 00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:57,796 - And ammo. 830 00:34:57,796 --> 00:34:59,231 - And beer. 831 00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:00,266 - Ammo. 832 00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:01,467 - [Both] Jerky. 833 00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:05,871 (speaks in foreign language) 834 00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:08,874 (speaks in foreign language) 835 00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:10,409 - Why exactly are we not sending 836 00:35:10,409 --> 00:35:13,111 in the military to address this tragedy? 837 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:15,113 - Look, if these people want to kill themselves, 838 00:35:15,147 --> 00:35:16,782 let them go at it. 839 00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:19,318 Where I'm from, we call that trimming the herd. 840 00:35:19,385 --> 00:35:21,320 - Trimming, trimming the herd! 841 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,789 - Now this is a perfect example of us 842 00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:26,292 not taking care of our citizens. 843 00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:27,326 - Citizens? 844 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:28,227 Who said they were citizens? 845 00:35:28,227 --> 00:35:29,728 - No, no, no, no! 846 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:31,763 - Who the hell are you to judge who is an American? 847 00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:33,232 - They would not be running wild in the street. 848 00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:35,901 - The people of the Southern States are as American 849 00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:37,068 as the rest of us. 850 00:35:37,102 --> 00:35:38,970 If you were in this room I would bitch-slap 851 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,239 you right now. 852 00:35:40,272 --> 00:35:42,741 (intense music) - Stay together. 853 00:35:42,741 --> 00:35:44,510 * It 854 00:35:44,510 --> 00:35:47,179 * Ain't real 855 00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:48,680 - Man, this sucks. 856 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,652 I had plans. 857 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,853 - What? 858 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,790 - I was gonna finish my associates degree. 859 00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:00,592 - Uh oh, look up here. 860 00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:04,763 Hey, hey, Sam, check it out. 861 00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:06,765 - Alright, get it. 862 00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:07,633 Nice! 863 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,035 - Yeah, yeah! 864 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:13,505 What? 865 00:36:14,540 --> 00:36:15,941 - You gotta hit him. 866 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:16,842 - For real? 867 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:20,979 - It's a zombie, hit it. 868 00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:22,548 - That ain't right. 869 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:25,183 (yelling) 870 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,017 - Get it! 871 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,321 - Oh my God! 872 00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:31,790 - Holy shit! 873 00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:32,624 Yes! 874 00:36:37,663 --> 00:36:41,700 * I'm losing myself 875 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,802 * I dunno when to brace myself 876 00:36:43,835 --> 00:36:46,505 * I dunno when to brace myself 877 00:36:46,505 --> 00:36:48,006 - Alright come on, let's go. 878 00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:49,975 - [Reporter] This just in: the White House released 879 00:36:49,975 --> 00:36:52,344 drone footage of the chaos in Corsicana. 880 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:55,213 I warn you these images are horrific. 881 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:58,250 The rioters are attacking innocent people in their cars. 882 00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:01,353 - The town is right next to the Mexican border, no wall, 883 00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:04,556 they're coming in, these damn illegal aliens 884 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:05,757 take over the town. 885 00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:10,028 (speaks in foreign language) 886 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,062 - Did you see the footage? 887 00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:12,264 What are you going to do? 888 00:37:12,331 --> 00:37:13,932 Tell me; what are you going to do 889 00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:17,002 when they come in and they beat down your door, hm? 890 00:37:17,035 --> 00:37:18,670 Oh I'm gonna give 'em a hug. 891 00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,439 No, I'll tell you what you want; 892 00:37:20,439 --> 00:37:23,575 you want to get a gun, a big gun. 893 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:26,412 That's right a gun, so that you can protect your family 894 00:37:26,445 --> 00:37:30,181 before they steal your dog and your daughter. 895 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,709 - Alright, guys, go over there. 896 00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:04,716 (howling) 897 00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:09,120 - I love this fuckin' country! 898 00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:13,091 - Horatio get out of my frame. 899 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:17,329 - No, no, no, no, see, I am making my own movie. 900 00:38:17,329 --> 00:38:18,597 - Seriously, really dude? 901 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,332 - Really, really, yeah, yeah, yeah. 902 00:38:20,332 --> 00:38:23,502 I'm doing one about a shitty filmmaker making 903 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:26,738 a horror film and trying to use real zombies 904 00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:30,108 to make his film, that's what I'm doing. 905 00:38:31,477 --> 00:38:35,146 - You really think someone would watch that? 906 00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:45,290 - Jojo! 907 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,158 - Keep your voice down. 908 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:47,993 - Beer! 909 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:51,997 - Sh, don't, don't! 910 00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:52,831 - Yes. 911 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,268 - Don't move. 912 00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:00,672 - Yes. 913 00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:02,340 - Don't! 914 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:05,477 (laughing) 915 00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:08,146 (intense music) 916 00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:14,886 (gun firing) - Get out of here. 917 00:39:14,886 --> 00:39:16,388 - Fucking A! 918 00:39:16,455 --> 00:39:20,325 - Weapons work better with ammunition. 919 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:23,128 * It's making me sad now 920 00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:28,133 * A little sad, yeah, yeah 921 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,336 * Gets me, memory 922 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,671 - What's going on? 923 00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:34,139 - Seems like everyone thinks the bar 924 00:39:34,139 --> 00:39:36,475 is the best place to be when all hell breaks loose. 925 00:39:36,475 --> 00:39:37,809 - We're gonna be lucky if we even make it out 926 00:39:37,843 --> 00:39:39,077 of this town alive. 927 00:39:39,077 --> 00:39:40,245 - Jojo, you gotta stop looking at me 928 00:39:40,245 --> 00:39:41,513 while I'm taking a piss. 929 00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:43,381 - I, I'm not, what are you talking about? 930 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:44,850 - And it doesn't matter anyway, 931 00:39:44,850 --> 00:39:46,518 wasn't that always the case, I mean come on, man. 932 00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:48,520 How come my movies never go anywhere? 933 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,689 - Because they suck? 934 00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:53,559 Except for your hair, and your acting. 935 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,061 - Tibo my movies do not suck. 936 00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:57,596 I don't have production value, man. 937 00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,665 I've never had production value. 938 00:39:59,698 --> 00:40:02,033 - So you're going to film us while we get 939 00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:04,169 attacked by zombies. 940 00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:05,003 - No. 941 00:40:06,371 --> 00:40:08,507 (farting) 942 00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:09,708 I have an idea. 943 00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:14,079 (crowd applauds) 944 00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:16,347 - Alright, y'all, we're gonna take a break, 945 00:40:16,381 --> 00:40:18,717 we'll be back in just a few. 946 00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:30,128 - Hello, hey, Popper here, 947 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:33,198 I've probably changed your oil, 948 00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:36,067 I know I've changed your oil. 949 00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:38,269 Or fixed something on your car 950 00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:39,605 or your bicycles. 951 00:40:40,872 --> 00:40:44,643 Hey, there's one man here tonight who saw 952 00:40:44,643 --> 00:40:47,979 the shit comin' before anybody. 953 00:40:48,046 --> 00:40:50,749 Like, like Nostradamus or something. 954 00:40:50,782 --> 00:40:53,585 He said the shit was gonna hit the fan, 955 00:40:53,585 --> 00:40:57,422 the zombies, the undead, and said zombie apocalypse, 956 00:40:57,422 --> 00:41:00,892 before anybody else knew what was happening. 957 00:41:00,892 --> 00:41:04,329 He's my main man, my best friend, Sammy P. 958 00:41:07,432 --> 00:41:09,735 - Oh for fuck's sake! 959 00:41:09,735 --> 00:41:13,805 His movie didn't even make it into the damn festival! 960 00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:15,907 - Yeah, no shit, dumbass. 961 00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:18,610 And we all know that now. 962 00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:20,979 But it's okay, you know why? 963 00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:23,849 Hit 'em, Jojo. 964 00:41:23,849 --> 00:41:25,817 - Sam has an idea. 965 00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,485 - That's right, Jojo. 966 00:41:27,519 --> 00:41:29,788 Ladies and gentleman, our zombie maestro 967 00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:30,989 of ceremonies, Sammy P! 968 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:33,491 (crowd claps) 969 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,997 - Thank you, Popper. - You're welcome. 970 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:43,802 - Well, um, so I've been thinking, um, 971 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:49,808 we're in crisis. 972 00:41:51,176 --> 00:41:54,680 The world out there is upside down; 973 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,548 brother eating brother. 974 00:41:58,049 --> 00:42:01,219 And you know, we can sit here and we can drink 975 00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:04,189 and party 'till the bitter end, or, 976 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:09,728 we could unite for a common cause. 977 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:13,364 We can show the world that we are one people, 978 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:18,036 that we are survivors, that we can beat unbeatable odds! 979 00:42:19,805 --> 00:42:22,207 And how do we show the world? 980 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:25,711 I will document it! 981 00:42:25,744 --> 00:42:29,414 This town, yeah it might be dried up, 982 00:42:29,414 --> 00:42:31,082 we're sitting on an oilfield here, 983 00:42:31,082 --> 00:42:32,818 this is our goldmine! 984 00:42:33,985 --> 00:42:36,221 We can make a movie as one, 985 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:38,857 and we will triumph! 986 00:42:43,662 --> 00:42:45,997 - Okay, so what's the movie? 987 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:48,867 - Have you ever heard the phrase found footage? 988 00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:52,203 - Have you heard the term DOA, dead on arrival. 989 00:42:52,203 --> 00:42:53,438 Have you? 990 00:42:53,438 --> 00:42:55,674 You jackasses, go make your homemade movie, 991 00:42:55,707 --> 00:42:57,943 I'm gonna sit right here and drink my beer. 992 00:42:57,943 --> 00:42:59,778 - Come on, Bird Dog. 993 00:42:59,845 --> 00:43:02,681 We finally have a chance to make something of ourselves. 994 00:43:02,681 --> 00:43:03,782 - Oh shut up! 995 00:43:03,782 --> 00:43:04,850 You're drunk! 996 00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:09,354 (crowd booing) - Come on. 997 00:43:13,391 --> 00:43:15,426 - Hey, get off the stage! 998 00:43:20,065 --> 00:43:23,268 (intense rock music) 999 00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:25,470 - Listen, listen, big Jim. 1000 00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:29,374 There are many, many, many bonuses to the film 1001 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:32,477 and entertainment industry. 1002 00:43:32,543 --> 00:43:33,544 - Like what? 1003 00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,113 - Number one, poontang. 1004 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:38,116 Number two De Niro, or money as we call it 1005 00:43:38,149 --> 00:43:40,151 in the States. - Sure. 1006 00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:42,053 - So, pussy and money. 1007 00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:45,390 So think about it, think about it like this okay, 1008 00:43:45,423 --> 00:43:48,960 like, you ever like work really hard to get 1009 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,229 into a chick's pants, like you really want it, 1010 00:43:51,262 --> 00:43:54,733 and you spend a lot of money and time, 1011 00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:56,267 you're not going to get any of that money 1012 00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:58,804 or time back, but you get the experience, 1013 00:43:58,804 --> 00:44:01,406 even if she's not very good you get the experience. 1014 00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:05,143 Look, man, look, you are getting in on the ground 1015 00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:07,979 level of so much production value. 1016 00:44:09,614 --> 00:44:14,519 You never get this; real fucking zombies here in Corsicana. 1017 00:44:16,021 --> 00:44:20,458 So, but if you are in now you first money out. 1018 00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:22,160 - I can't leave here, though. 1019 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,329 - You can't leave, you don't have to leave here! 1020 00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:25,496 - I don't know what you're talking about. 1021 00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:26,832 - You don't know what I'm talking about? 1022 00:44:26,832 --> 00:44:27,833 - No I don't. - Do you like pussy? 1023 00:44:27,866 --> 00:44:29,300 - Yes. - Do you like money? 1024 00:44:29,334 --> 00:44:30,501 - Yes. - Then you're in. 1025 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:33,271 (crowd applauds) 1026 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:43,281 * Oh when I dreamed that you called my name * 1027 00:44:43,314 --> 00:44:47,218 * Oh when I dreamed that you called my name * 1028 00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:48,153 - Oh, shit. 1029 00:44:53,859 --> 00:44:54,860 Who is that? 1030 00:44:58,864 --> 00:45:02,633 Hey let me get out of here before you wreck this place. 1031 00:45:02,633 --> 00:45:03,468 Oh, dude! 1032 00:45:04,736 --> 00:45:07,038 You're gonna wake up the dead with that! 1033 00:45:07,038 --> 00:45:08,573 Quit fuckin' around, Pistol. 1034 00:45:08,639 --> 00:45:10,141 (yelling) 1035 00:45:10,175 --> 00:45:12,978 * Hear bells and who's to blame * 1036 00:45:12,978 --> 00:45:15,246 (yelling) 1037 00:45:15,246 --> 00:45:16,882 * Are calling my name 1038 00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:17,816 - Pistol! 1039 00:45:17,849 --> 00:45:19,350 Pistol, you've got to see this! 1040 00:45:19,384 --> 00:45:20,218 Pistol! 1041 00:45:21,386 --> 00:45:23,154 - Oh my God, get off my man, you slut! 1042 00:45:23,154 --> 00:45:24,355 - Shut your pie hole, bitch. 1043 00:45:24,389 --> 00:45:25,891 - Oh he got me! 1044 00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:27,225 He got me! 1045 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,028 (yelling) 1046 00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:30,896 - Run! 1047 00:45:32,998 --> 00:45:34,900 - Get out of my way! 1048 00:45:34,900 --> 00:45:36,401 Get out of my way! 1049 00:45:37,903 --> 00:45:39,037 - Oh my God, he neutered him! 1050 00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:41,072 - I think I wet myself, I pissed myself. 1051 00:45:41,072 --> 00:45:42,740 - Go, go, go, go, go! 1052 00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:43,574 - Where are we going? 1053 00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:44,509 Where are we going? 1054 00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:45,210 - We're going to Pam's school! 1055 00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,177 - Why? 1056 00:45:46,177 --> 00:45:46,945 - Because the windows have bars! 1057 00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:47,779 - Go, go! 1058 00:45:47,779 --> 00:45:49,714 Just get in your truck! 1059 00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:57,088 - Hey kids, there's a new sheriff in town. 1060 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,424 All your worries will wash away with one bite 1061 00:45:59,424 --> 00:46:00,859 of these delicious chocolatey, 1062 00:46:00,892 --> 00:46:03,394 cream filled Freedom Cakes. 1063 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:04,896 Your parents keeping you down? 1064 00:46:04,896 --> 00:46:07,698 Do they keep making you eat food not fit to feed an ostrich? 1065 00:46:07,698 --> 00:46:08,867 Blech! 1066 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:11,803 Don't worry, Freedom Cakes are here! 1067 00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:13,404 This is America, where we get to eat 1068 00:46:13,438 --> 00:46:17,275 what we want, it's your God given right! 1069 00:46:17,275 --> 00:46:20,478 Coming to a store near you on July 4th. 1070 00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:26,217 - Hey, guys. 1071 00:46:26,217 --> 00:46:27,418 - Hey. - Hey. 1072 00:46:27,452 --> 00:46:30,455 - Really like your handiwork back there. 1073 00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:32,657 You guys have any film production experience? 1074 00:46:32,723 --> 00:46:36,727 - No, boss, but as you can see we're productive. 1075 00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,397 - Yeah, yeah you are. 1076 00:46:40,598 --> 00:46:42,000 Better that way anyway, film production 1077 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,469 experience will make you jaded. 1078 00:46:44,469 --> 00:46:46,972 You guys want to make a movie? 1079 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:51,776 - Why the hell are we here? 1080 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:55,446 - Ladies and gentleman, this is our destiny. 1081 00:46:55,446 --> 00:46:58,416 We have a movie lot, right there. 1082 00:46:58,416 --> 00:47:00,651 We have hair, we have make up, 1083 00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,620 we have set-- - Ahmm. 1084 00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:04,155 - Yes? 1085 00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:07,825 - Um, are you suggesting that we use real zombies? 1086 00:47:10,628 --> 00:47:12,363 - Real, real zombies. 1087 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:17,035 Yes. 1088 00:47:17,035 --> 00:47:20,872 We are going to make the first ever zombie film 1089 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:24,642 using real zombies. 1090 00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:25,510 - What? 1091 00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:30,515 - Sam, you know I'll do anything for a movie, 1092 00:47:30,548 --> 00:47:33,384 kind of known for being a team player, but uh, 1093 00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:35,353 isn't this a little dangerous? 1094 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:36,354 - Yes. 1095 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:37,355 Yeah, right? 1096 00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:41,359 Working with zombies could be misconstrued 1097 00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:42,527 as not a good idea. 1098 00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,129 - Fair enough. 1099 00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:46,831 - We're not going to use dangerous ones. 1100 00:47:46,831 --> 00:47:50,035 - What kind of zombies are you planning on using? 1101 00:47:50,035 --> 00:47:51,236 - Safe ones. 1102 00:47:51,302 --> 00:47:52,137 Safer. 1103 00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:53,338 - Safe zombies. 1104 00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,206 - The only safe zombie is a dead zombie. 1105 00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:57,642 - Got that straight, son. 1106 00:47:57,642 --> 00:47:59,210 - [Both] Hah! 1107 00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:01,146 - The name of our movie. 1108 00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:03,481 You guys ready? 1109 00:48:03,481 --> 00:48:04,315 - Yes. 1110 00:48:04,315 --> 00:48:05,216 - Yeah, yeah. 1111 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:05,917 - Come on, are you guys ready? 1112 00:48:05,984 --> 00:48:06,817 - Yeah! 1113 00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:07,652 - Yes! 1114 00:48:07,652 --> 00:48:09,154 Alright! 1115 00:48:09,154 --> 00:48:09,921 Fat 1116 00:48:11,489 --> 00:48:12,323 Ass 1117 00:48:13,558 --> 00:48:14,359 Zombies! 1118 00:48:17,195 --> 00:48:18,729 Fat Ass Zombies. 1119 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,665 - Wilson, come on, that's even worse 1120 00:48:20,698 --> 00:48:23,201 than Deadbeat Zombie Dad. 1121 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:26,704 - It's amazing, and it's perfect for the film 1122 00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:29,174 that we are going to make. 1123 00:48:29,174 --> 00:48:32,543 - Fat Ass Zombies, I love it, bro! 1124 00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:35,380 - Alright, so we're in school, right? 1125 00:48:35,380 --> 00:48:36,581 How about a quiz? 1126 00:48:36,581 --> 00:48:37,882 - Oh, oh, me, pick me! - You guys want a quiz? 1127 00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:39,417 Come on, come on, alright here we go. 1128 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:41,919 What does this town not have a shortage of? 1129 00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,088 - Ooh oh oh! 1130 00:48:43,088 --> 00:48:44,122 - Who's got it? 1131 00:48:44,122 --> 00:48:46,124 Alright, Wilson! 1132 00:48:46,124 --> 00:48:47,892 - [Together] Zombies! 1133 00:48:49,694 --> 00:48:51,896 - You're right, head of the class. 1134 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:53,264 Before the zombies. 1135 00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:54,265 - Ooh oh oh! 1136 00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:56,101 - Popper! 1137 00:48:56,101 --> 00:48:57,268 - Stupid people! 1138 00:48:57,302 --> 00:49:00,471 - Also true, yup, lot of stupid people. 1139 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:04,442 - I think I had third grade English in this class. 1140 00:49:04,442 --> 00:49:06,044 I'll always remember because this was the site 1141 00:49:06,077 --> 00:49:07,378 of my first erection. 1142 00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:09,114 - What else? - Oh! 1143 00:49:09,114 --> 00:49:10,415 I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it! 1144 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:11,449 - Give it one more shot. 1145 00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:13,951 - Stupid people with no jobs! 1146 00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:15,620 - Okay, that's true. 1147 00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:17,322 We're kind of staying on that. 1148 00:49:17,388 --> 00:49:18,556 Think bigger guys, think bigger. 1149 00:49:18,589 --> 00:49:19,790 - Sam! 1150 00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:21,492 - Stupid people with no jobs and no money! 1151 00:49:21,559 --> 00:49:22,427 - Fat people! 1152 00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:23,294 - Woah! 1153 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:24,129 - Fatties! 1154 00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:27,832 Big ol' fat, fat, fat, fatties, guys! 1155 00:49:27,832 --> 00:49:29,067 - Damn straight! - We have five 1156 00:49:29,100 --> 00:49:31,769 Chinese buffts for a town of 20,000 people. 1157 00:49:31,769 --> 00:49:33,071 That's is a lot of tub. 1158 00:49:33,071 --> 00:49:36,307 All of your parents are very, very fat. 1159 00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:38,143 And that, ladies and gentleman, 1160 00:49:38,176 --> 00:49:40,845 is what we are going to use. 1161 00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:42,347 The fat, the slow. 1162 00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:47,185 What is the name of our movie? 1163 00:49:47,252 --> 00:49:48,986 - [Together] Fat Ass Zombies! 1164 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:49,820 - Yes! 1165 00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:50,755 Come on! 1166 00:49:50,788 --> 00:49:52,690 - [Together] Fat Ass Zombies! 1167 00:49:52,690 --> 00:49:54,592 Fat Ass Zombies! 1168 00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:56,794 Fat Ass Zombies! 1169 00:49:56,794 --> 00:49:58,696 Fat Ass Zombies! 1170 00:49:58,696 --> 00:50:00,531 Fat Ass Zombies! 1171 00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:02,700 Fat Ass Zombies! 1172 00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:04,135 Fat Ass Zombies! 1173 00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:07,038 - Magic! 1174 00:50:08,039 --> 00:50:10,641 (upbeat music) 1175 00:50:53,518 --> 00:50:54,985 - Blue team! 1176 00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:57,488 You guys are operation Capture Fat and Safe Zombies. 1177 00:50:57,488 --> 00:50:58,923 Remember, anything fat, slow, 1178 00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:00,725 doesn't move fast and it's easy to kill. 1179 00:51:00,725 --> 00:51:03,761 Yellow team, you guys are weapons and gear. 1180 00:51:03,828 --> 00:51:07,031 Somehow nobody thought to grab it when we left Pete's place. 1181 00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,435 So, get us weapons, hatchets, shovels, bats, 1182 00:51:10,435 --> 00:51:12,002 chainsaws, ladles, I don't care, 1183 00:51:12,036 --> 00:51:13,404 anything is better than what we have, 1184 00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:15,706 just remember it's lame to shoot zombies. 1185 00:51:15,740 --> 00:51:18,576 Get us something fun to kill zombies with. 1186 00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:20,445 (grunting) 1187 00:51:20,445 --> 00:51:22,447 Red team, you guys are operation Munchies; 1188 00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:24,615 we need food and drink! 1189 00:51:24,615 --> 00:51:28,786 The school shut down the lunch program, right, Pam? 1190 00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:31,256 Ugh, where do our taxes go? 1191 00:51:31,256 --> 00:51:32,723 Get us food, guys. 1192 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:34,959 Green team, you guys are with me here at basecamp 1193 00:51:34,959 --> 00:51:36,461 starting preproduction. 1194 00:51:36,461 --> 00:51:37,962 Let's make movie magic here people, 1195 00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:40,698 rendezvous here no later than 13:00. 1196 00:51:40,698 --> 00:51:41,966 Let's move! 1197 00:51:41,966 --> 00:51:43,801 - Si, maestro! - Come on! 1198 00:51:43,801 --> 00:51:45,203 (speaks in foreign language) 1199 00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:47,705 (bright music) 1200 00:51:47,705 --> 00:51:49,874 * Chest 1201 00:51:49,874 --> 00:51:53,611 * Nuts 1202 00:51:53,611 --> 00:51:56,281 * Feed it to him 1203 00:52:11,596 --> 00:52:12,930 - Put craft here right on that table, 1204 00:52:12,930 --> 00:52:14,165 and get all the weapons out 1205 00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:15,733 and on those shelves, alright? 1206 00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:16,601 - Okay. 1207 00:52:27,745 --> 00:52:30,915 - Oh I am getting the ice cream, bros! 1208 00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:36,487 - Okay, okay, uh, might I suggest getting items 1209 00:52:36,521 --> 00:52:37,788 with more sustenance. 1210 00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:38,956 - Nope! 1211 00:52:38,956 --> 00:52:41,025 - God, this is so stupid. 1212 00:52:45,830 --> 00:52:47,998 (yelling) 1213 00:52:52,803 --> 00:52:55,440 Oh, I love berries, I really do. 1214 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:58,142 Oh Jesus Christ, ah! 1215 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,279 Oh my God! 1216 00:53:01,279 --> 00:53:02,680 Okay, time to go! 1217 00:53:04,449 --> 00:53:05,350 Time to go! 1218 00:53:12,357 --> 00:53:15,693 - Drive, drive, drive, come on, come on! 1219 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:17,962 - It's a child. 1220 00:53:19,063 --> 00:53:20,231 - What? 1221 00:53:20,298 --> 00:53:22,367 - Who brought the baby? 1222 00:53:22,367 --> 00:53:23,468 - Baby? 1223 00:53:23,501 --> 00:53:24,502 - Oh dear God! - What? 1224 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,370 What? 1225 00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:26,571 (yelling) 1226 00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:28,373 - What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? 1227 00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:30,074 - Um, get rid of it, get rid of it! 1228 00:53:30,140 --> 00:53:31,742 - Okay, okay, okay! 1229 00:53:31,742 --> 00:53:34,245 (baby cooing) 1230 00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:40,050 - Don't look back guys, don't look back. 1231 00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:46,090 - Sam? 1232 00:53:46,156 --> 00:53:47,091 - Hey! - Sam, God! 1233 00:53:47,091 --> 00:53:48,326 There you are. - Fresh markers! 1234 00:53:48,359 --> 00:53:50,595 Pam, this is amazing, the ideas are flying out 1235 00:53:50,595 --> 00:53:51,862 of my head, this is it! 1236 00:53:51,896 --> 00:53:53,864 - I'm so excited for you! 1237 00:53:53,864 --> 00:53:54,765 - I know, right? 1238 00:53:54,765 --> 00:53:56,267 - Okay wait, I've been thinking, 1239 00:53:56,334 --> 00:53:57,602 I don't want anyone to get hurt 1240 00:53:57,602 --> 00:53:58,903 and we don't know what's going on out there so-- 1241 00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:00,204 - Pam, I know what's going on out there. 1242 00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,439 This town's been one heatwave away 1243 00:54:01,439 --> 00:54:02,840 from destroying itself for years. 1244 00:54:02,873 --> 00:54:05,843 - Yeah, yeah, I know, it's just... 1245 00:54:05,843 --> 00:54:08,746 I just wanna make sure no one's gonna get hurt, you know? 1246 00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,247 - We're gonna sneak around, 1247 00:54:10,281 --> 00:54:13,851 we're gonna watch chompers chasing people, that's it! 1248 00:54:13,884 --> 00:54:14,719 - Okay. 1249 00:54:17,221 --> 00:54:19,890 - I wonder if the sheriff's turned. 1250 00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:21,526 I gotta go. 1251 00:54:21,526 --> 00:54:22,427 I gotta go! 1252 00:54:30,301 --> 00:54:33,404 So, you tell me we've got no weapons, 1253 00:54:34,439 --> 00:54:36,807 a very meager craft services, 1254 00:54:40,311 --> 00:54:42,980 and for a zombie, you got me a fifth grader 1255 00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:44,315 in a retainer. 1256 00:54:44,315 --> 00:54:46,317 (yelling) 1257 00:54:46,317 --> 00:54:47,885 - We're making a movie! 1258 00:54:47,918 --> 00:54:50,621 Let's review the following; 1259 00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,724 I'm not gonna change the way I look or the way 1260 00:54:53,758 --> 00:54:56,260 I feel to conform to anything, 1261 00:54:57,261 --> 00:54:59,330 I've always been a freak. 1262 00:55:00,465 --> 00:55:02,933 Okay, yeah, I've never liked it either. 1263 00:55:02,933 --> 00:55:04,134 Okay, moving on. 1264 00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:07,838 Another one from another John, a real 'Merican, 1265 00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:12,577 courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. 1266 00:55:14,011 --> 00:55:17,348 And finally, screw it, let's do it, yes! 1267 00:55:18,816 --> 00:55:21,352 Sir Richard Branson, yes! 1268 00:55:21,419 --> 00:55:23,354 - Are you freakin' kidding me? 1269 00:55:23,354 --> 00:55:24,855 This is what you've been doing 1270 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:26,023 while we've been out there risking our necks, huh? 1271 00:55:26,090 --> 00:55:27,925 - Yeah, it's what I've been doing, and, 1272 00:55:27,925 --> 00:55:30,761 you know, getting art department and a script together. 1273 00:55:30,795 --> 00:55:32,530 You can't have a movie without a script. 1274 00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,198 - Yeah, and we can't live without food, huh. 1275 00:55:34,264 --> 00:55:35,500 I should have been on the red team. 1276 00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:36,967 - Hey, man! 1277 00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:40,638 We have like, enough gummy bears to last a month! 1278 00:55:42,507 --> 00:55:43,374 Jeez, here! 1279 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:47,945 - I'm not worried about the food, 1280 00:55:47,978 --> 00:55:50,681 I'm worried about being their food. 1281 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:51,882 They're fast. 1282 00:55:51,949 --> 00:55:53,150 - Anything's faster than you, brother, 1283 00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:56,387 the way you keep smoking that shit. 1284 00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,888 - Don't hate, man! 1285 00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:00,491 - Woah, woah, guys! 1286 00:56:00,525 --> 00:56:01,992 - Okay, okay, okay! 1287 00:56:01,992 --> 00:56:03,994 - Woah, guys, seriously! 1288 00:56:04,028 --> 00:56:05,530 Come on, guys! 1289 00:56:05,530 --> 00:56:09,133 - Mr. Pentergass, report to the principal's office, 1290 00:56:09,133 --> 00:56:11,536 once you stop dicking around. 1291 00:56:22,312 --> 00:56:23,848 So, Mr. Pentergass, 1292 00:56:27,918 --> 00:56:30,521 what do you have to say for yourself? 1293 00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:33,157 - I'm sorry sir, I didn't think using the school 1294 00:56:33,157 --> 00:56:34,892 would be a big deal, it's been abandoned, 1295 00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:37,394 - Mr. Pentergass, I've heard it once, 1296 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,830 I've heard it a thousand times. 1297 00:56:39,864 --> 00:56:40,698 Spare me. 1298 00:56:42,099 --> 00:56:45,603 Pentergass, this calls for greater action. 1299 00:56:46,837 --> 00:56:48,839 This calls for something way more sizable 1300 00:56:48,839 --> 00:56:50,040 in my response. 1301 00:56:52,109 --> 00:56:54,211 This calls for Priscilla. 1302 00:56:55,279 --> 00:56:56,581 'Scuse me, sir? 1303 00:56:56,581 --> 00:56:57,582 - Priscilla! 1304 00:57:00,585 --> 00:57:02,553 Meet Priscilla, Mr. Pentergass! 1305 00:57:02,553 --> 00:57:04,088 - Mr. Johnson you have a big gun, sir, 1306 00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:06,691 - Shall we make a zombie film? 1307 00:57:06,724 --> 00:57:08,926 (laughing) 1308 00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:20,304 (grunting) 1309 00:57:24,975 --> 00:57:25,910 - Hit me here. 1310 00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:28,212 Yo, hit me here, hit me here. 1311 00:57:28,212 --> 00:57:29,279 - Hey! 1312 00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:30,114 Listen up! 1313 00:57:31,315 --> 00:57:34,218 - Thank you, Pam. - You're welcome. 1314 00:57:37,421 --> 00:57:40,658 - Alright, this is where it all begins. 1315 00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:46,931 This is where they discover something's not quite right. 1316 00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:51,769 They see some folks on the side of the road, they're hurt, 1317 00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:54,438 or are they? 1318 00:57:57,608 --> 00:57:59,744 Let's make a movie! - Yeah! 1319 00:57:59,744 --> 00:58:01,411 - Let's make a movie! 1320 00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,315 - Jose, Eldad, crafty. 1321 00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:08,653 (speaks in foreign language) 1322 00:58:08,653 --> 00:58:09,654 - Hey, now which direction 1323 00:58:09,654 --> 00:58:10,855 are we shooting in again? 1324 00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:12,156 - We're gonna shoot all the way down the road, 1325 00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:13,357 so make sure it's clear down there. 1326 00:58:13,423 --> 00:58:17,127 - Alright, you got it, partner, let's do this! 1327 00:58:18,963 --> 00:58:21,098 - Next, maestro? 1328 00:58:21,098 --> 00:58:24,802 (speaks in foreign language) 1329 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:26,036 - Quiet on set! 1330 00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:29,006 - Sound speed. - Speed. 1331 00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:30,641 - Roll camera. 1332 00:58:30,675 --> 00:58:31,876 - Rolling, rolling. 1333 00:58:31,876 --> 00:58:33,678 - You guys ready for awesome? 1334 00:58:33,678 --> 00:58:34,511 - Yeah. 1335 00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:37,715 - Release the zombies! 1336 00:58:38,949 --> 00:58:40,050 - Go, go, go! 1337 00:58:40,050 --> 00:58:42,452 - Ey, ey, c'mon, zombies, go! 1338 00:58:43,688 --> 00:58:45,522 - Go, go, go, zombies, go! 1339 00:58:45,556 --> 00:58:46,490 - C'mon! 1340 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,693 (speaks in foreign language) 1341 00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:50,861 Come on you little shit, go! 1342 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:51,729 Go, go, go! 1343 00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:55,499 - Come on zombies, go! - Pistol? 1344 00:58:55,499 --> 00:58:57,167 Release the zombies! 1345 00:58:58,135 --> 00:58:59,804 - They won't go! 1346 00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:01,672 - Pistol, they ain't like cattle or horses, 1347 00:59:01,706 --> 00:59:03,373 I don't know how to do this! 1348 00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:05,710 - Just get back there and give 'em a hand! 1349 00:59:05,710 --> 00:59:07,077 - Sam, I'm trying! 1350 00:59:07,077 --> 00:59:08,378 You wanna come do this? 1351 00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:10,915 - Dani, hit them in the ribcage! 1352 00:59:10,981 --> 00:59:12,182 - Alright, I'm tryin'! 1353 00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:13,751 - C'mon, blood, blood over there! 1354 00:59:13,751 --> 00:59:14,985 Blood! 1355 00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:15,720 - Alright you guys, brace yourselves, 1356 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:16,854 here we go. 1357 00:59:16,887 --> 00:59:18,355 - Zombies el prontos, pronto! 1358 00:59:18,355 --> 00:59:20,758 - Go get that blonde girl, c'mon! 1359 00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:23,493 (dramatic music) 1360 00:59:29,266 --> 00:59:31,335 - What the fuck was that? 1361 00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:33,704 - Oh, shit. 1362 00:59:33,738 --> 00:59:35,405 - C'mon, zombies, go! 1363 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:37,775 Go for that blonde girl! 1364 00:59:37,775 --> 00:59:39,176 - She's handicap. 1365 00:59:40,210 --> 00:59:41,078 - She okay? 1366 00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:45,415 - Course she's not okay, she's a damn zombie! 1367 00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:46,951 - No I know, but is she gonna get back 1368 00:59:47,017 --> 00:59:48,518 in the wheelchair? 1369 00:59:48,552 --> 00:59:49,754 - She ain't going anywhere, 1370 00:59:49,754 --> 00:59:51,255 she's crippled, Sam. 1371 00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:52,790 - Already down a zombie and we haven't 1372 00:59:52,857 --> 00:59:55,225 even got the first shot off, bro! 1373 00:59:55,259 --> 00:59:56,093 - Dammit. 1374 00:59:57,561 --> 01:00:01,565 Dani, I said slow zombies not completely paralyzed! 1375 01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:05,970 - I know, I guess we just got all the defective ones! 1376 01:00:09,239 --> 01:00:11,108 - Okay, they're out! 1377 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,209 Quiet on set. 1378 01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:14,544 Action! 1379 01:00:14,544 --> 01:00:16,714 (yelling) 1380 01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:23,153 - Yeah? 1381 01:00:23,153 --> 01:00:23,988 Yeah? 1382 01:00:25,155 --> 01:00:26,090 - Let's tone it down a bit. 1383 01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:28,092 Just a smidgen, sweetheart. 1384 01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:29,760 Yeah, you're going to scare the zombies. 1385 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:30,761 - Come on, guys! 1386 01:00:30,761 --> 01:00:32,262 Just start running, let's go! 1387 01:00:32,262 --> 01:00:34,264 - Hey, let's just shoot some tights and fix it in post. 1388 01:00:34,264 --> 01:00:35,465 - We're not gonna fix shit in post, Popper, 1389 01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:36,901 you just gotta get the shot. 1390 01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:37,768 - Okay. 1391 01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:39,970 - Tiffany, look scared! 1392 01:00:39,970 --> 01:00:42,506 - She's too hot to look scared. 1393 01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:45,976 - Come on, guys, just start running! 1394 01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:48,846 - Okay, now when you're running, really exaggerate. 1395 01:00:48,846 --> 01:00:50,614 - Alright look, you're scared, 1396 01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:53,017 the zombies are coming, they're gonna rip your face off! 1397 01:00:53,017 --> 01:00:55,252 You gotta run to the car, c'mon! 1398 01:00:55,285 --> 01:00:57,021 - You look stupid! 1399 01:00:57,021 --> 01:00:58,522 - Tiffany, stay in character, c'mon. 1400 01:00:58,588 --> 01:01:01,125 - Whatever happened to less is more, huh? 1401 01:01:01,158 --> 01:01:02,960 - Okay, let's go. 1402 01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,195 C'mon, c'mon, woman! - I don't want to! 1403 01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:07,364 (yelling) 1404 01:01:08,532 --> 01:01:09,366 Go, go! 1405 01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:11,168 - I'm trying! 1406 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:12,002 - Go, go! 1407 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,007 - Cut! 1408 01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:17,975 Beautiful! 1409 01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:19,176 Yeah, alright! 1410 01:01:20,444 --> 01:01:21,545 Very good. 1411 01:01:21,545 --> 01:01:23,113 - Hey, Sam, man. 1412 01:01:23,147 --> 01:01:26,283 What's the plan on getting them back in? 1413 01:01:26,283 --> 01:01:27,818 - Oh, shit. 1414 01:01:27,852 --> 01:01:29,186 Uh, that's a good question. 1415 01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:30,387 - Oh... 1416 01:01:30,387 --> 01:01:31,555 Alright, time to go, people, let's go! 1417 01:01:31,621 --> 01:01:33,290 - I should get some of this! 1418 01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:34,191 - Move, move! 1419 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,125 - Move, move, move, move! 1420 01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:36,360 - Pistol, get the zombies! 1421 01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,996 - I'm gettin' this, I'm gettin' this! 1422 01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:40,664 - How are we with these idiots? 1423 01:01:40,664 --> 01:01:42,166 - This is crazy. 1424 01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:43,467 - Carl, Carl, come on! 1425 01:01:43,467 --> 01:01:46,303 Dude, what's wrong with your eyes? 1426 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:50,174 - You're fucked up, man. 1427 01:01:52,576 --> 01:01:55,813 You went too far, now you're gonna pay. 1428 01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:58,816 - [Reporter] This is a special report. 1429 01:01:58,816 --> 01:02:00,217 Why, America, why? 1430 01:02:01,485 --> 01:02:03,187 Our investigative team is on the hunt 1431 01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:07,324 for the cause of the chaos in Corsicana. 1432 01:02:07,324 --> 01:02:09,994 - I frequently, we, support a lot 1433 01:02:10,027 --> 01:02:11,595 of charitable organizations. 1434 01:02:11,595 --> 01:02:14,698 Locally and nationally, internationally. 1435 01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:18,568 - So me and my son and my grandson, Bubba and Bubba Jr., 1436 01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:20,938 we drink a 30-pack together. 1437 01:02:21,005 --> 01:02:22,840 And that night I have this idea; hey, 1438 01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:26,243 what if we got liberals to send us money? 1439 01:02:27,778 --> 01:02:30,280 - It's the Worldwide Redneck Fund, 1440 01:02:30,347 --> 01:02:34,351 and it allows people like us to adopt a redneck. 1441 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:39,924 - You know, it's like adopt a kid over there in Africa, 1442 01:02:39,924 --> 01:02:41,025 you know, them little black kids, 1443 01:02:41,025 --> 01:02:42,726 you can feed one for 10 cents. 1444 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:45,062 - Occasionally he would ask for cash. 1445 01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:47,031 - You know, we got certain rights, and that's a right 1446 01:02:47,031 --> 01:02:49,900 to worship God, a right to carry my gun... 1447 01:02:49,934 --> 01:02:51,768 - And I thought we were making progress. 1448 01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,603 He said to me once, I'm considering 1449 01:02:53,637 --> 01:02:56,974 about going gluten free for a week. 1450 01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:59,910 - And I don't know what the other ones are, the other ones 1451 01:02:59,944 --> 01:03:00,878 don't even matter. 1452 01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:02,079 - The latest gun that he bought, 1453 01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:03,147 he didn't name it. 1454 01:03:03,147 --> 01:03:04,148 - Oh, Ethyl? 1455 01:03:04,148 --> 01:03:06,083 This is my AR10. 1456 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:08,785 - What's happening in Texas is certainly distressing 1457 01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:10,720 and we're all concerned. 1458 01:03:10,754 --> 01:03:12,489 - We got a silencer or suppressor on it. 1459 01:03:12,489 --> 01:03:16,160 - What I think my wife is trying to say is-- 1460 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:20,464 - Please don't tell me what I'm trying to say, thank you, 1461 01:03:20,464 --> 01:03:22,632 I know what I'm trying to say. 1462 01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,235 - The more money we have the more bullets we can get. 1463 01:03:25,269 --> 01:03:28,272 - I sent 400 recycling containers. 1464 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,573 - The more stuff we can shoot. 1465 01:03:29,573 --> 01:03:32,943 - You sent four hundred recycling bins to Bubba? 1466 01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:35,445 - There's a lot of things wrong with this country. 1467 01:03:35,445 --> 01:03:37,581 - I thought Bubba was a place in Ethiopia. 1468 01:03:37,581 --> 01:03:39,316 - There ain't no daddies anymore. 1469 01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,818 - Do they even recycle in Texas? 1470 01:03:41,852 --> 01:03:42,953 - Killed a lot of hogs. 1471 01:03:42,987 --> 01:03:44,354 - I sent him kombucha. 1472 01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:45,990 - Money started pourin' in, man. 1473 01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:47,992 - The poems of Maya Angelou. 1474 01:03:48,025 --> 01:03:49,626 - Let freedom ring! 1475 01:03:51,095 --> 01:03:54,264 - You know I could use a little kombucha right now. 1476 01:03:54,298 --> 01:03:56,133 - Okay, guys, I know we're tired, 1477 01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,501 I know it took us a while to get here, 1478 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,136 I know we're down to our last two bags of chips, 1479 01:03:59,136 --> 01:04:02,039 but listen, we got great stuff back there, 1480 01:04:02,039 --> 01:04:04,774 and yeah, we had to strike fast and we left 1481 01:04:04,808 --> 01:04:07,111 some stuff behind, and Carl's probably dead, 1482 01:04:07,111 --> 01:04:11,181 but what is the classic location for a zombie movie? 1483 01:04:11,181 --> 01:04:12,316 - Corsicana, Texas. 1484 01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:13,550 - Yes, more local though. 1485 01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:15,385 - Cemetery? - No. 1486 01:04:15,385 --> 01:04:16,887 - Hospital. - No. 1487 01:04:16,954 --> 01:04:17,854 - Black hole? 1488 01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:19,189 - Okay, that's above our budget. 1489 01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,190 - Oh! 1490 01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,625 Ninja dojo! 1491 01:04:21,658 --> 01:04:23,527 - That's very gratuitous. - Submarine. 1492 01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:24,361 - A theater! 1493 01:04:24,394 --> 01:04:25,629 An abandoned theater! 1494 01:04:25,662 --> 01:04:28,332 With concessions. - They got beer? 1495 01:04:28,332 --> 01:04:32,002 - Guys, we're hungry, I'm starving. 1496 01:04:32,002 --> 01:04:33,904 Let's kill two birds with one stone, 1497 01:04:33,904 --> 01:04:34,905 or one shot! 1498 01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:38,042 Huh? - Really? 1499 01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:40,978 - Okay, come on, let's go. 1500 01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:43,747 (dramatic music) 1501 01:04:55,492 --> 01:04:56,326 Action! 1502 01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:02,099 - Sam! 1503 01:05:02,099 --> 01:05:05,269 Listen, why are you filming this? 1504 01:05:05,269 --> 01:05:07,171 - Stay in character. 1505 01:05:07,204 --> 01:05:11,041 - I would love to, but I do not know what I am playing. 1506 01:05:11,041 --> 01:05:13,377 - Fellatio, just go with it, 1507 01:05:13,377 --> 01:05:14,711 you're screwing up the scene. 1508 01:05:14,711 --> 01:05:15,879 - Alright guys, we've got to do this again. 1509 01:05:15,879 --> 01:05:17,381 Please, stop breaking the fourth wall. 1510 01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:20,384 - Negative, this is a search and destroy mission, 1511 01:05:20,384 --> 01:05:22,886 there's only one way; forward! 1512 01:05:25,122 --> 01:05:27,757 - Follow the man with the gun. 1513 01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:30,127 (soft music) 1514 01:05:42,706 --> 01:05:44,608 - Nut up, ya pansies, I'm covering the rear. 1515 01:05:44,608 --> 01:05:46,410 - Yes captain, my captain. 1516 01:05:46,443 --> 01:05:51,148 - Guys, stay together, we've got to make sure it's clear. 1517 01:06:05,095 --> 01:06:06,430 - Hey, Fellatio! 1518 01:06:08,632 --> 01:06:09,966 - Holy shit, ah! 1519 01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:16,640 Okay. 1520 01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:22,112 (laughs) 1521 01:06:22,146 --> 01:06:23,247 Look at that. 1522 01:06:26,583 --> 01:06:28,518 - There's a concessions. 1523 01:06:28,518 --> 01:06:29,519 Okay, Popper, take this. 1524 01:06:29,519 --> 01:06:30,354 - Yup. 1525 01:06:32,256 --> 01:06:36,160 - Okay, Tibo, Jojo, try to sneak around, right? 1526 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:38,795 You gotta get back there but there are zombies, 1527 01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:42,532 so try to get as close as you can to them, okay? 1528 01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:51,175 Alright, alright, are you ready? 1529 01:06:51,175 --> 01:06:52,809 (growling) - Ah, shit! 1530 01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:53,843 (yelling) 1531 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:55,045 Shit, shit! 1532 01:06:55,112 --> 01:06:57,114 Help, she's gonna bite me! 1533 01:06:57,147 --> 01:06:58,148 - Okay, I got you, I got you! 1534 01:06:58,182 --> 01:06:59,116 - I'm acting. 1535 01:06:59,116 --> 01:06:59,949 - Shit! 1536 01:06:59,949 --> 01:07:00,684 (yelling) 1537 01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:01,518 Shit! 1538 01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,519 You gotta get her! 1539 01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:03,853 She's gonna bite me, I'm serious! 1540 01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:05,189 What are you doing? 1541 01:07:05,222 --> 01:07:06,056 Get the shot! 1542 01:07:06,056 --> 01:07:07,057 - Okay, okay! 1543 01:07:07,057 --> 01:07:08,392 - Oh my God, oh God! 1544 01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:09,959 - I'm getting the shot! 1545 01:07:09,959 --> 01:07:10,960 - She's gonna kill me! 1546 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:12,962 No I'm actually serious! 1547 01:07:16,300 --> 01:07:17,801 Did you get the shot? 1548 01:07:17,834 --> 01:07:19,236 - I don't know, I was really confused. 1549 01:07:19,236 --> 01:07:20,070 - Yeah. 1550 01:07:20,070 --> 01:07:21,305 - Let's go, men! 1551 01:07:21,338 --> 01:07:23,006 We are in hostile territory! - Oh shit. 1552 01:07:23,006 --> 01:07:25,975 Get up, get up, get up! - Come on, come on! 1553 01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,312 - that's a negative, Horatio, time to go, come on! 1554 01:07:28,312 --> 01:07:30,647 - I cut this guy's head off! 1555 01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:34,751 This is my moment. 1556 01:07:34,818 --> 01:07:36,520 - Hey, hey! - What? 1557 01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:38,855 - I think it's Carl. 1558 01:07:38,855 --> 01:07:40,090 It's Carl, man! 1559 01:07:42,692 --> 01:07:43,760 - Wait, wait. 1560 01:07:44,928 --> 01:07:46,430 - Get the, get the camera, get the camera! 1561 01:07:46,430 --> 01:07:48,932 - I don't think he notices us. 1562 01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:51,601 I got it, man! 1563 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:52,436 I got it! 1564 01:07:52,436 --> 01:07:53,270 - Good job! 1565 01:07:53,270 --> 01:07:54,771 - Thanks, Carl! 1566 01:07:54,771 --> 01:07:56,340 - We miss you, bro! 1567 01:07:58,342 --> 01:08:01,911 - To be, or not to be, that is the question. 1568 01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:06,116 - Go, go, oh shit! 1569 01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:08,051 Shit! 1570 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:08,918 Fuck! 1571 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:10,287 - Go, go, go, go! 1572 01:08:10,287 --> 01:08:13,022 - Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 1573 01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:16,693 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 1574 01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:20,264 - Grab the door, hold it, hold it, hold it! 1575 01:08:21,631 --> 01:08:23,233 - This way, troops! 1576 01:08:42,619 --> 01:08:43,720 - Oh man, oh! 1577 01:08:45,755 --> 01:08:46,923 He's been bit! 1578 01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:50,594 What are we going to do? 1579 01:08:50,594 --> 01:08:52,262 - I'm leaving, let's go. 1580 01:08:52,296 --> 01:08:54,464 (yelling) 1581 01:08:55,599 --> 01:08:56,500 - [Sam] Horatio, you're going to be alright, 1582 01:08:56,500 --> 01:08:57,434 we're going to get you help. 1583 01:08:57,467 --> 01:08:59,102 - Oh give it a rest, Sam, 1584 01:08:59,102 --> 01:09:01,137 you know the script. 1585 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:02,739 God that hurts! 1586 01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:03,640 That hurts! 1587 01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:08,111 - Can you actually feel it coursing 1588 01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,279 through your veins? 1589 01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:10,580 - Uh, Sam, you should see this, bro. 1590 01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:12,115 - Sam, Sam, listen to me! 1591 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:14,017 - Now is not a good time, not a good time, you guys! 1592 01:09:14,017 --> 01:09:15,185 - Sam! - What? 1593 01:09:15,252 --> 01:09:16,186 What, fine! 1594 01:09:16,186 --> 01:09:18,322 What, what do you want? 1595 01:09:18,322 --> 01:09:20,324 - Come here, Sam. 1596 01:09:20,357 --> 01:09:22,025 - No. - Sam, listen. 1597 01:09:22,091 --> 01:09:24,261 For fucks sake, I'm not going to bite you, Sam, 1598 01:09:24,294 --> 01:09:25,495 just come here. 1599 01:09:26,696 --> 01:09:28,265 - Okay. - God! 1600 01:09:28,298 --> 01:09:29,132 - Sam, no. 1601 01:09:32,369 --> 01:09:35,038 - Hey, I'll be alright. 1602 01:09:35,038 --> 01:09:36,340 I'll be alright. 1603 01:09:37,607 --> 01:09:38,842 Here. 1604 01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:39,676 - Mhm. 1605 01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:42,111 It's your life. 1606 01:09:42,111 --> 01:09:43,513 - Sam, Sam, Sam, listen to me, 1607 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:45,715 I want to tell you something. 1608 01:09:45,782 --> 01:09:49,453 I want to ask you something, rather. 1609 01:09:49,486 --> 01:09:50,987 Look at me. 1610 01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,456 - Okay. 1611 01:09:52,456 --> 01:09:55,659 - Do you know how much your films suck? 1612 01:09:57,627 --> 01:09:59,496 They are horrible, Sam. 1613 01:10:00,630 --> 01:10:01,465 - Okay. 1614 01:10:01,465 --> 01:10:02,299 - Stop it, Sam! 1615 01:10:02,299 --> 01:10:03,132 Look at me, look at me! 1616 01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:04,501 - Okay, Horatio! 1617 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:08,171 I'm looking at you. - They are horrendous, Sam! 1618 01:10:09,473 --> 01:10:13,142 You are a talentless sack of shit, but this, 1619 01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:19,015 this is something truly genius. 1620 01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:20,750 Sam. 1621 01:10:21,851 --> 01:10:25,255 This could be something really special. 1622 01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:26,490 - Okay. 1623 01:10:26,523 --> 01:10:30,193 - You need a good zombie transformation scene. 1624 01:10:33,897 --> 01:10:34,731 Voila! 1625 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,769 Just make sure that you get it. 1626 01:10:41,405 --> 01:10:42,772 Don't fuck it up! 1627 01:10:43,707 --> 01:10:45,074 - Okay! 1628 01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:46,343 - Promise me. 1629 01:10:46,376 --> 01:10:48,077 - Okay, I promise. 1630 01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:50,714 - Okay, we should get to filming, 1631 01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:53,450 I'm really starting not to feel good. 1632 01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,884 (yelling) 1633 01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:56,052 Ooh the anger! 1634 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:00,457 - Okay. 1635 01:11:00,524 --> 01:11:02,191 - Okay, just um, turn it on Popper, 1636 01:11:02,225 --> 01:11:03,360 turn on the camera, turn it on. 1637 01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,561 - I'm rolling, I'm rolling. 1638 01:11:04,594 --> 01:11:07,364 - Okay, everyone settle, alright? 1639 01:11:07,364 --> 01:11:08,765 Quiet on the set. 1640 01:11:09,733 --> 01:11:10,600 Ready? 1641 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:11,435 - Yeah. 1642 01:11:11,468 --> 01:11:12,736 - Sam, this isn't right. 1643 01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:14,538 We should be finding him help. 1644 01:11:14,538 --> 01:11:16,940 - Pam, I'm about to shoot the most important 1645 01:11:16,940 --> 01:11:19,543 scene of my life, and his life, 1646 01:11:20,777 --> 01:11:22,612 which is just about over. 1647 01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:24,280 So just let me freakin' do this. 1648 01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,782 - Sam, this isn't okay! 1649 01:11:25,815 --> 01:11:27,116 - Alright, Tiffany. 1650 01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:28,084 You're up. - No, no, no! 1651 01:11:28,117 --> 01:11:29,118 I'm not going near him! 1652 01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,119 - You are in the scene! 1653 01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,120 - I don't care! 1654 01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,121 No! 1655 01:11:32,121 --> 01:11:32,822 Dani will do it, Dani will do it! 1656 01:11:32,822 --> 01:11:33,823 - No! - Fine. 1657 01:11:33,890 --> 01:11:34,824 Dani, you're in. 1658 01:11:34,824 --> 01:11:35,659 Come on! 1659 01:11:35,659 --> 01:11:36,493 C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! 1660 01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:37,994 Right here, right here. 1661 01:11:37,994 --> 01:11:42,632 - Let's go, people, I am actually dying over here. 1662 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:45,301 - Come on, c'mon buddy, c'mon! 1663 01:11:45,335 --> 01:11:48,405 Turn around, face to camera, alright. 1664 01:11:49,473 --> 01:11:50,840 Popper, here we go. 1665 01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:52,008 This is the shot! 1666 01:11:52,008 --> 01:11:53,410 - I got the shot. 1667 01:11:56,112 --> 01:11:56,913 - Okay. 1668 01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:02,452 Okay, this is the scene, you found your best friend, 1669 01:12:02,486 --> 01:12:04,087 he's been bitten. 1670 01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:06,423 - Are you ready Ocean Spray? 1671 01:12:07,524 --> 01:12:08,492 - Yeah. 1672 01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:09,759 - Okay, action! 1673 01:12:13,497 --> 01:12:16,600 - I always knew that this town 1674 01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:19,769 was going to be the death of me! 1675 01:12:19,769 --> 01:12:23,773 All of these fat asses, taking up all the space. 1676 01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:27,677 With their oversized derrieres 1677 01:12:29,145 --> 01:12:33,116 and their abundant bottoms and their kingsize rumps! 1678 01:12:38,321 --> 01:12:39,155 Run! 1679 01:12:41,791 --> 01:12:44,628 Run. (farting) 1680 01:12:44,628 --> 01:12:46,863 You can still get out, 1681 01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:49,799 unless you let the ones like me go. 1682 01:12:54,404 --> 01:12:55,705 Shoot me! 1683 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:56,540 - Spray! 1684 01:12:56,540 --> 01:12:57,541 Say the line. 1685 01:12:58,575 --> 01:12:59,876 Come on, say your line, man! 1686 01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:00,710 - Shoot me! 1687 01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:03,647 Shoot me, shoot me. 1688 01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:07,083 You skinny little shit! 1689 01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:12,589 Before I eat your little slut of a girlfriend! 1690 01:13:14,157 --> 01:13:16,025 I'm coming, I'm coming! 1691 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:18,394 I'm com, ah! 1692 01:13:20,930 --> 01:13:22,165 - Ocean! 1693 01:13:22,198 --> 01:13:23,366 - This is fucked up. 1694 01:13:23,366 --> 01:13:24,534 Is he supposed to do that? 1695 01:13:24,568 --> 01:13:26,903 - Dude, that's not in the script! 1696 01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:28,237 - He's a zombie! 1697 01:13:29,238 --> 01:13:31,374 - Man, fuck this shit! 1698 01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:33,376 These are our friends, you shoot it! 1699 01:13:33,376 --> 01:13:34,544 - Fine! 1700 01:13:34,578 --> 01:13:35,411 Eldad! 1701 01:13:36,279 --> 01:13:37,213 - Maestro! 1702 01:13:37,246 --> 01:13:39,248 - Sam, what are you doing? 1703 01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:40,249 - This is great. 1704 01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,585 - These are your friends! 1705 01:13:41,585 --> 01:13:44,420 - And I will tell their story! 1706 01:13:44,454 --> 01:13:46,456 (yelling) 1707 01:13:46,523 --> 01:13:48,692 (gun firing) 1708 01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:49,959 - Dammit! 1709 01:13:49,959 --> 01:13:51,427 Dammit, who did that? 1710 01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:52,929 I did not say cut! 1711 01:13:52,962 --> 01:13:57,400 - Sorry, Sam, I can't let Horatio go out like that. 1712 01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:58,868 - (speaks in foreign language) brother. 1713 01:13:58,868 --> 01:14:00,103 - Have you lost your mind? 1714 01:14:00,103 --> 01:14:01,437 This is sick! 1715 01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,607 - I have this under control. 1716 01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:04,941 - Under control? 1717 01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:05,942 - What is happening? 1718 01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:07,443 I thought he had to get bit! 1719 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,812 Did anyone see him get bit? 1720 01:14:08,878 --> 01:14:10,446 - Have we all lost our minds? 1721 01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:13,950 - Did anyone see anything unusual with Ocean? 1722 01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:16,119 - He had the serious cause of the munchies, guys. 1723 01:14:16,152 --> 01:14:18,988 He ate like five of these bitches! 1724 01:14:21,958 --> 01:14:24,561 - Shit, it's the Freedom Cakes! 1725 01:14:24,561 --> 01:14:26,730 (yelling) 1726 01:14:31,267 --> 01:14:34,003 - Oh my God, I baked those things. 1727 01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,338 Does that mean I'm going to turn into one? 1728 01:14:35,338 --> 01:14:36,172 How do I look? 1729 01:14:36,172 --> 01:14:37,240 - Stay away from me! 1730 01:14:37,273 --> 01:14:38,742 Those are gross! 1731 01:14:38,742 --> 01:14:41,778 - We bake to box at least 50,000 of those a day! 1732 01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:43,580 We just shipped a shit ton of them out. 1733 01:14:43,580 --> 01:14:44,581 - Where? 1734 01:14:44,614 --> 01:14:45,782 - Nationwide! 1735 01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:48,184 - Oh my God, we're all gonna die! 1736 01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:50,854 - We've got incoming, people. 1737 01:14:50,920 --> 01:14:52,421 Let's go, let's go, into the theater! 1738 01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:53,657 - What about Horatio? 1739 01:14:53,657 --> 01:14:54,457 - There's nothing we can do for him now. 1740 01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,992 Let's go, come on! 1741 01:14:57,193 --> 01:14:58,127 - Ocean! 1742 01:14:58,161 --> 01:14:59,195 - Come on Jessie, we have to go! 1743 01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:01,698 We have to go, Jessie, come on! 1744 01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,502 - Are you guys insane? 1745 01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:08,772 We are going to finish this film, 1746 01:15:08,772 --> 01:15:10,674 we are going to be famous! 1747 01:15:10,674 --> 01:15:12,475 Get back in here! 1748 01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:13,677 Come on! 1749 01:15:13,677 --> 01:15:15,344 Oh, do it for Horatio! 1750 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:18,014 (intense music) 1751 01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:36,532 - Come on, shh, shh. 1752 01:15:39,035 --> 01:15:40,904 Come on, lock the door. 1753 01:15:40,904 --> 01:15:42,038 - Okay, okay, I got it. 1754 01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:42,872 - Popper! 1755 01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:43,707 I'm sorry, alright? 1756 01:15:43,707 --> 01:15:44,540 I lost my head, man. 1757 01:15:44,540 --> 01:15:45,541 We gotta go! 1758 01:15:47,210 --> 01:15:48,544 What the? 1759 01:15:48,578 --> 01:15:50,079 - Sam, stay in character. 1760 01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:51,815 You gotta stay in character, Sam. 1761 01:15:51,815 --> 01:15:53,049 - A dolly shot? 1762 01:15:54,417 --> 01:15:55,251 Okay. 1763 01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,661 - Why am I not a zombie? 1764 01:16:04,694 --> 01:16:05,695 - Popper! 1765 01:16:05,729 --> 01:16:06,996 - Hey. - Popper, holy shit, 1766 01:16:06,996 --> 01:16:08,164 we gotta get out of here, man. 1767 01:16:08,164 --> 01:16:09,899 - Dude, look at this. 1768 01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:10,934 - Woah. 1769 01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:12,568 - Zombie hotties! 1770 01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:13,770 We gotta get this shot! 1771 01:16:13,837 --> 01:16:15,672 Yeah, you wanna stream this movie? 1772 01:16:15,672 --> 01:16:17,173 Dudes are gonna look, they're gonna see 1773 01:16:17,173 --> 01:16:20,176 no titties, sausagefest, they go right through it. 1774 01:16:20,209 --> 01:16:21,244 - Yeah. - Oh! 1775 01:16:22,545 --> 01:16:23,613 - I don't have the camera. 1776 01:16:23,613 --> 01:16:24,881 - What? 1777 01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:26,850 - Dude, we just got to get out of here! 1778 01:16:26,850 --> 01:16:28,217 - Catch up to ya. 1779 01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:35,625 - Been saving this for a long time. 1780 01:16:37,894 --> 01:16:39,428 I call it El Morte. 1781 01:16:41,765 --> 01:16:43,132 It's inside here. 1782 01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:46,269 Yeah. 1783 01:16:49,205 --> 01:16:51,040 - El Morte? - El Morte. 1784 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:54,543 - Dude, that wouldn't even get a fifth grader high. 1785 01:16:54,577 --> 01:16:55,812 - Oh! 1786 01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:57,714 Famous last words, man. 1787 01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:00,583 Ready? 1788 01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:01,450 - Yeah. 1789 01:17:03,753 --> 01:17:05,922 (yelling) 1790 01:17:08,491 --> 01:17:11,327 - Oh, the Freedom Cakes. 1791 01:17:11,327 --> 01:17:13,096 Oh wait, the Freedom Cakes. 1792 01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:15,331 The, the, I'm not a zombie! 1793 01:17:19,836 --> 01:17:21,805 Oh my God, I'm not a zombie. 1794 01:17:21,805 --> 01:17:24,140 I am not, I am not a zombie. 1795 01:17:27,610 --> 01:17:29,478 - What's your name? 1796 01:17:29,478 --> 01:17:30,947 (yelling) 1797 01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:34,350 - And now we have exclusive footage for you from Corsicana, 1798 01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:36,786 and the carnage that is happening there. 1799 01:17:36,820 --> 01:17:38,454 People are rioting, screaming, 1800 01:17:38,454 --> 01:17:40,623 you'll notice fires in the streets. 1801 01:17:40,623 --> 01:17:43,693 People appear to be in nothing but survival mode, 1802 01:17:43,693 --> 01:17:45,661 using just their wits 1803 01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:48,331 and their surroundings to survive what can only 1804 01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:51,868 understandably be viewed as the apocalypse. 1805 01:17:56,172 --> 01:17:58,674 - These people are so blasted! 1806 01:18:01,377 --> 01:18:04,547 - Why aren't your lips moving? 1807 01:18:04,613 --> 01:18:06,682 - Isn't that your sister? 1808 01:18:07,984 --> 01:18:10,619 - Are my eyes still there? 1809 01:18:10,619 --> 01:18:12,021 - We're in Texas. 1810 01:18:20,163 --> 01:18:22,899 - Come on, come on, come on. 1811 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:25,534 Yeah get back, come on, come on. 1812 01:18:25,534 --> 01:18:28,204 (horns honking) 1813 01:18:29,873 --> 01:18:32,408 (wind howling) 1814 01:18:43,820 --> 01:18:44,888 - [Sam] But look at them all. 1815 01:18:44,888 --> 01:18:46,055 These are my people. 1816 01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:47,891 They all want me, finally, 1817 01:18:47,891 --> 01:18:51,928 this whole town wants me, they need me. 1818 01:18:51,995 --> 01:18:55,398 You can do this, Sam, your day has come! 1819 01:18:55,398 --> 01:18:57,166 (farting) 1820 01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:58,534 - Hey! 1821 01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:02,405 I'm all out of bullets, I'm going hand to hand! 1822 01:19:06,876 --> 01:19:08,111 - What are we going to do? 1823 01:19:08,111 --> 01:19:10,579 - Why don't we just film ourselves dying? 1824 01:19:10,579 --> 01:19:12,715 - That's a great idea, buddy. 1825 01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:14,517 - Alright, I'm going to draw them away. 1826 01:19:14,517 --> 01:19:15,919 I'm going that way, you guys. 1827 01:19:15,919 --> 01:19:19,088 Get o the streets, try to get out of town. 1828 01:19:19,122 --> 01:19:20,857 - Sam, no, you don't have to do this! 1829 01:19:20,890 --> 01:19:22,558 - Pam, I'm so sorry. 1830 01:19:26,229 --> 01:19:27,630 This is my fault. 1831 01:19:29,899 --> 01:19:33,369 Thank you, thank you for always believing in me. 1832 01:19:33,369 --> 01:19:34,804 - Sam, Sam, no, you don't have to do this. 1833 01:19:34,804 --> 01:19:35,872 - I love you. 1834 01:19:49,986 --> 01:19:50,887 - Sam! 1835 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:52,155 (yelling) 1836 01:19:52,155 --> 01:19:53,556 Sam, Sam, no! - Come on! 1837 01:19:53,589 --> 01:19:54,457 Come on! 1838 01:19:54,457 --> 01:19:55,458 Let's go! 1839 01:19:55,458 --> 01:19:56,792 Come on! 1840 01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:59,395 - Go get 'em, Sammy! - Really? 1841 01:19:59,428 --> 01:20:01,797 Why does anyone ever listen to that guy? 1842 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:02,798 - Come on! 1843 01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:03,900 Let's go, come on, here! 1844 01:20:03,933 --> 01:20:04,834 Come on! 1845 01:20:04,834 --> 01:20:05,835 Here we go, come on! 1846 01:20:05,902 --> 01:20:08,137 This way, come on, come on. 1847 01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:12,341 I'm delicious, I'm tasty, 1848 01:20:12,341 --> 01:20:13,409 come on right over here! 1849 01:20:13,442 --> 01:20:14,643 Take a bite of me! 1850 01:20:14,643 --> 01:20:18,814 Yeah, yeah alright, yeah you want some of this! 1851 01:20:18,814 --> 01:20:20,083 Yeah! 1852 01:20:20,116 --> 01:20:22,986 Muscle, a little bit of fat for ya, yeah! 1853 01:20:22,986 --> 01:20:24,320 I'm a tasty man! 1854 01:20:26,122 --> 01:20:28,457 Right here, right here, yeah! 1855 01:20:28,457 --> 01:20:29,825 Look at these meaty thighs! 1856 01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:33,029 Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, let's go! 1857 01:20:33,096 --> 01:20:35,264 (yelling) 1858 01:20:49,778 --> 01:20:50,646 Well, shit. 1859 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,182 Yeah, I'm a dead man. 1860 01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:55,018 Great idea, Samuel. 1861 01:20:55,051 --> 01:20:58,387 Look at this, that kid is eating his mom's kneecap! 1862 01:20:58,454 --> 01:20:59,889 I have never seen that, oh my God, 1863 01:20:59,889 --> 01:21:03,292 I don't even know what that guy's eating. 1864 01:21:03,326 --> 01:21:04,493 What the hell? 1865 01:21:08,231 --> 01:21:09,065 Dammit. 1866 01:21:09,999 --> 01:21:11,700 Zombie rain? 1867 01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:15,038 Figures, now the heavens are raining production value. 1868 01:21:15,038 --> 01:21:16,372 Man, this hurts! 1869 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:20,709 Man, this movie was going to be beautiful. 1870 01:21:28,251 --> 01:21:31,154 Feels good to finally nail my part. 1871 01:21:38,494 --> 01:21:39,328 Eldad? 1872 01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:41,597 Nice shot, Eldad. 1873 01:21:41,664 --> 01:21:45,001 (speaks in foreign language) 1874 01:21:45,001 --> 01:21:46,569 - Sam, Sam! 1875 01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:47,570 Sam, you're gonna be okay, 1876 01:21:47,603 --> 01:21:48,938 we're gonna get you help. 1877 01:21:48,938 --> 01:21:52,108 - I'm sorry, guys, I'm a shitty filmmaker. 1878 01:21:52,108 --> 01:21:53,276 - Yeah, yeah you are. 1879 01:21:53,342 --> 01:21:55,511 - What the hell is this? 1880 01:21:55,511 --> 01:21:58,447 (yelling) 1881 01:21:58,447 --> 01:22:00,349 - We're gonna get you help, little buddy. 1882 01:22:00,383 --> 01:22:01,550 C'mon. 1883 01:22:01,550 --> 01:22:02,952 - Come on, come on, come on! 1884 01:22:02,952 --> 01:22:03,786 Go, go, go! 1885 01:22:03,786 --> 01:22:05,688 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1886 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:10,960 - [Tiffany] Hurry, he's losing blood. 1887 01:22:17,133 --> 01:22:17,967 - Come on now, guys. 1888 01:22:17,967 --> 01:22:19,468 Hold up, wait on me! 1889 01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:20,936 I got a bad knee! 1890 01:22:22,972 --> 01:22:24,307 You sons of bitches! 1891 01:22:24,373 --> 01:22:26,375 I saved your lives about 12 times tonight! 1892 01:22:26,409 --> 01:22:27,243 C'mon now! 1893 01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:31,247 (laughing) 1894 01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:45,161 - [Sam] I always knew this town would be the death of me. 1895 01:22:46,629 --> 01:22:47,896 - What's this? 1896 01:22:47,930 --> 01:22:49,332 A red carpet premiere into the great beyond? 1897 01:22:49,332 --> 01:22:50,566 Nope. 1898 01:22:50,599 --> 01:22:52,235 Turns out getting bit just hurts, 1899 01:22:52,235 --> 01:22:54,803 it doesn't actually turn you into one. 1900 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,440 When the world goes to shit, it's a gift I say. 1901 01:22:57,473 --> 01:22:59,675 What I needed was just a little chaos to get 1902 01:22:59,675 --> 01:23:02,678 my shot, and it happened, they gave it to me. 1903 01:23:02,678 --> 01:23:04,980 I got money, honey wagons, respect, 1904 01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:07,650 20 something interns happy as hell to get me 1905 01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:09,152 some shitty coffee drink. 1906 01:23:09,185 --> 01:23:12,421 I don't even like coffee, I get one every 20 minutes! 1907 01:23:12,455 --> 01:23:13,856 God it feels good! 1908 01:23:13,856 --> 01:23:15,358 - I am beyond excited! 1909 01:23:15,424 --> 01:23:17,826 - Well I play myself, so that's fun. 1910 01:23:17,826 --> 01:23:19,095 - Jojo! 1911 01:23:19,128 --> 01:23:21,630 - And that's where I get to meet my leading man. 1912 01:23:21,664 --> 01:23:23,832 (yelling) 1913 01:23:35,044 --> 01:23:36,045 - It's the best day of my life, 1914 01:23:36,045 --> 01:23:37,380 thank you all so much! 1915 01:23:37,380 --> 01:23:38,881 Thank you, Corsicana! 1916 01:23:38,881 --> 01:23:40,149 - And spoiler alert, 1917 01:23:40,183 --> 01:23:42,351 are you guys expecting? 1918 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:45,388 - Well we were expecting to keep it a secret. 1919 01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:46,722 - I will see you in there! 1920 01:23:46,722 --> 01:23:47,556 Come on! 1921 01:23:50,393 --> 01:23:51,960 - As I sit here watching this, 1922 01:23:51,994 --> 01:23:54,630 it's like it's not me, it's some different 1923 01:23:54,630 --> 01:23:56,632 version of me; an imposter, it's a fake! 1924 01:23:56,665 --> 01:23:58,701 Which it is, I mean, Ryan Reynolds looks 1925 01:23:58,701 --> 01:23:59,968 nothing like me. 1926 01:24:00,002 --> 01:24:01,670 I can't help but think what would have happened 1927 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,373 if I had actually gotten into that shitty festival, 1928 01:24:04,373 --> 01:24:05,641 or what would have happened 1929 01:24:05,641 --> 01:24:08,211 if I hadn't lied about the whole damn thing. 1930 01:24:08,211 --> 01:24:10,079 Oh well, by the looks of the reviews, 1931 01:24:10,146 --> 01:24:11,814 I'm not getting the chance to make 1932 01:24:11,847 --> 01:24:13,349 Fat Ass Zombies 2 anytime soon. 1933 01:24:13,382 --> 01:24:15,484 That's okay, I kind of had my heart 1934 01:24:15,484 --> 01:24:19,355 on making Zombie Space Vikings 2: The Horny Revenge. 1935 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,324 - [Reporter] Parents beware, the Freedom Cake Challenge 1936 01:24:21,324 --> 01:24:23,426 is sweeping social media. 1937 01:24:23,426 --> 01:24:24,860 Teenagers are finding the deadly cakes 1938 01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:26,762 that haven't been turned in and destroyed 1939 01:24:26,762 --> 01:24:29,565 by the authorities and are filming themselves eating them. 1940 01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:31,434 This is a very dangerous situation, 1941 01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:33,936 and we urge anyone with knowledge of any cakes 1942 01:24:33,936 --> 01:24:36,705 still not turned in to report it immediately. 1943 01:24:36,739 --> 01:24:39,275 And parents, please make sure you speak 1944 01:24:39,275 --> 01:24:41,944 to your children about the dangers of these cakes, 1945 01:24:41,944 --> 01:24:43,912 and also have Colin Street Bakery Honey 1946 01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:45,214 in your cupboard. 1947 01:24:45,248 --> 01:24:47,049 As we reported earlier, this honey was found 1948 01:24:47,049 --> 01:24:49,718 to be the only antidote for anyone poisoned 1949 01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:51,520 by eating the cakes. 1950 01:24:51,520 --> 01:24:54,557 (intense rock music) 1951 01:25:00,863 --> 01:25:02,698 * It 1952 01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:05,634 * Ain't real 1953 01:25:05,634 --> 01:25:10,473 * Am I what I'm supposed to be 1954 01:25:10,473 --> 01:25:12,875 * I fear 1955 01:25:12,908 --> 01:25:15,578 * I'll disappear 1956 01:25:15,578 --> 01:25:20,583 * I'm losing touch with myself 1957 01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:24,153 * I dunno when to brace myself 1958 01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:26,455 * I dunno when to brace myself 1959 01:25:26,455 --> 01:25:28,957 * I dunno when to brace myself 1960 01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:30,926 * I dunno 1961 01:25:30,959 --> 01:25:34,163 * 'Cause I'm displaced 1962 01:25:41,437 --> 01:25:43,406 * It 1963 01:25:43,406 --> 01:25:46,442 * Ain't real 1964 01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:51,480 * Am I where I'm supposed to be * 1965 01:25:52,114 --> 01:25:53,949 * I fear 1966 01:25:53,949 --> 01:25:56,785 * I'll disappear 1967 01:25:56,819 --> 01:26:01,757 * I'm losing touch with myself 1968 01:26:02,658 --> 01:26:05,160 * I dunno when to brace myself 1969 01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:07,530 * I dunno when to brace myself 1970 01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:10,132 * I dunno when to brace myself 1971 01:26:10,165 --> 01:26:12,034 * I dunno 1972 01:26:12,034 --> 01:26:15,271 * 'Cause I'm displaced 1973 01:26:25,781 --> 01:26:28,284 (funky music) 1974 01:26:36,625 --> 01:26:38,961 * Better get jumpin' 1975 01:26:38,994 --> 01:26:41,464 * Here come the boogeyman 1976 01:26:41,464 --> 01:26:43,966 * Better get bumpin' 1977 01:26:43,999 --> 01:26:46,369 * Here come the boogeyman 1978 01:26:46,369 --> 01:26:48,871 * Better get jumpin' 1979 01:26:48,904 --> 01:26:51,507 * Here come the boogeyman 1980 01:26:51,540 --> 01:26:53,809 * Better get walkin' 1981 01:26:53,809 --> 01:26:56,645 * Here come the boogeyman 1982 01:26:56,679 --> 01:27:01,584 * When the boogeyman lose his heart * 1983 01:27:04,052 --> 01:27:08,724 * When the boogeyman, his eyes get lost * 123972