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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,336 --> 00:00:08,636 Austin: ALLY, YOU'RE GONNA BE ON A MAGAZINE COVER. 2 00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:10,209 AND I'VE BEEN IN A FEW MAGAZINES. 3 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:13,181 LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO POSE LIKE A PRO. 4 00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,624 - BAM! - I DON'T KNOW. 5 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,017 I'VE TAKEN A LOT OF EMPLOYEE I.D. PICTURES. 6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,419 I THINK YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING MORE LIKE THIS. 7 00:00:23,354 --> 00:00:27,334 MAYBE I CAN TRY SOMETHING THAT COMBINES THE TWO. 8 00:00:33,464 --> 00:00:36,614 HI, DEZ. 9 00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:38,107 HEY, ALLY. 10 00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:42,109 I'M FLATTERED, BUT NOT INTERESTED. 11 00:00:42,113 --> 00:00:45,053 I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU. I'M PRACTICING POSES. 12 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,745 I'M GONNA BE ON THE COVER OF "MIAMI MUSIC." 13 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,117 THEY NAMED ME THEIR SONGWRITER OF THE YEAR. 14 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,620 WHOO! THAT'S A RELIEF. 15 00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:53,681 A PHOTOGRAPHER'S COMING OVER TONIGHT TO TAKE HER PICTURE. 16 00:00:53,684 --> 00:00:57,234 HEY, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN FIRED FROM TRANQUILITY SPA YET. 17 00:00:57,228 --> 00:01:00,588 WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR A DAY OF BEAUTY AND RELAXATION? 18 00:01:00,591 --> 00:01:04,501 OOH, I CAN'T. THE SOUTH BEACH CHILI COOK-OFF IS TODAY. 19 00:01:04,495 --> 00:01:07,535 NOT YOU. ALLY. 20 00:01:07,538 --> 00:01:10,598 I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO TODAY. I HAVE TO PICK UP MY DRESS FROM THE CLEANERS 21 00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:13,601 AND GO TO MY GRANDMA'S TO BORROW HER NECKLACE FOR THE PHOTO SHOOT. 22 00:01:13,604 --> 00:01:15,084 CAN'T YOU WEAR JUST ANY NECKLACE? 23 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,575 NO, I REALLY WANNA WEAR THAT ONE. 24 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,577 IT'S BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS. 25 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,579 IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO HER. 26 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,451 I CAN GET ALL THAT STUFF FOR YOU. 27 00:01:22,453 --> 00:01:25,763 WAIT. IS IT THE GRANDMA THAT MAKES DELICIOUS COOKIES 28 00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:29,416 OR THE ONE THAT TELLS REALLY BORING STORIES AND SMELLS LIKE CABBAGE? 29 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:32,420 - COOKIES. - YES! WHOO! 30 00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:34,703 BUT, AUSTIN, YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME WITH THE CHILI COOK-OFF TODAY. 31 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,525 THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR EVERYTHING. 32 00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:39,767 ALLY, GO TO THE SPA. YOU DESERVE A RELAXING DAY. 33 00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:41,570 THANKS, AUSTIN. 34 00:01:41,572 --> 00:01:44,442 TRISH, LET'S GO HAVE OUR DAY OF BEAUTY. 35 00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:46,175 WISH I COULD GET A MASSAGE. 36 00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:48,637 THIS CHILI COOK-OFF HAS REALLY STRESSED ME OUT. 37 00:01:48,639 --> 00:01:50,679 HEY, TRISH, COULD YOU GIVE ME A QUICK LITTLE NECK RUB? 38 00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:54,521 REALLY? YOU WANT ME TO PUT MY HANDS ON YOUR NECK? 39 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,685 ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'M GOOD. 40 00:01:56,687 --> 00:01:58,747 ( rock music playing ) 41 00:02:01,352 --> 00:02:04,732 ♪ WHEN THE CROWD WANTS MORE, I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪ 42 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,825 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT MY BACK AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪ 43 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,458 ♪ YOU'RE MY POINT, YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪ 44 00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:10,900 ♪ YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪ 45 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,171 ♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪ 46 00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:17,265 ♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP, WE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪ 47 00:02:17,268 --> 00:02:18,638 ♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY, "HEY!" ♪ 48 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,209 ♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKIN' ♪ 49 00:02:21,212 --> 00:02:23,312 ♪ OH! THERE'S NO WAY ♪ 50 00:02:23,314 --> 00:02:25,424 ♪ I COULD MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 51 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:28,546 ♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪ 52 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,179 ♪ IT'S NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE DOING A SOLO ♪ 53 00:02:31,182 --> 00:02:32,922 ♪ WITH YOU, IT'S LIKE, "WHOA!" ♪ 54 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:34,633 ♪ YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪ 55 00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:36,825 ♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪ 56 00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:40,657 ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪ 57 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,631 ♪ THERE'S NO WAY I COULD MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪ 58 00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,844 ♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA! ♪ 59 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,850 ALL RIGHT, HERE ARE THE POTS. WHAT ELSE DO WE NEED? 60 00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:03,412 LET'S CHECK THE LIST. 61 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,817 PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT THIS ON THE CUTTING BOARD. 62 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:16,433 ANYONE SEEN THIS REDHEADED... 63 00:03:16,427 --> 00:03:19,397 DEZPERADO? 64 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,370 HI, CHUCK. STILL CARRYING AROUND THAT STUPID "WANTED" POSTER? 65 00:03:23,374 --> 00:03:25,484 NOBODY THINKS IT'S FUNNY. 66 00:03:25,476 --> 00:03:28,906 ( laughing ) "WANTED FOR MAKING BAD CHILI." 67 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,439 CLASSIC. 68 00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:32,882 THOUGHT ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE GONNA PUT 69 00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:34,923 YOUR SECOND PLACE CERTIFICATE THIS YEAR? 70 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,585 I'LL PROBABLY FRAME IT AND GIVE IT TO MY GRANDMA. 71 00:03:37,588 --> 00:03:39,248 SHE'LL PUT IT ON HER 'FRIDGE AND-- WAIT. 72 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:42,820 I'M NOT COMING IN SECOND PLACE. I'M GONNA WIN. 73 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:46,303 YEAH, JUST BECAUSE YOU BEAT HIM LAST YEAR 74 00:03:46,297 --> 00:03:48,557 AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT, 75 00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:50,559 DOESN'T MEAN YOU BEAT HIM EVERY YEAR. 76 00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:53,461 UH, YEAH, IT DOES. 77 00:03:53,464 --> 00:03:55,944 I'LL SEE YOU OUT AT THE CHILI ROUND-UP AT HIGH NOON. 78 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,566 THE CHILI COOK-OFF'S AT 3:00. 79 00:03:57,568 --> 00:03:59,008 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 80 00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:02,339 OH, WE'LL BE THERE, CHUCKY THE KID. 81 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,743 'CAUSE I'M THE FASTEST CHILI MAKER 82 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,954 IN THE WEST... SIDE OF THE MALL. 83 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,476 DRAW! 84 00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:13,622 MAN, HE'S GOOD. 85 00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:15,734 ( blows ) 86 00:04:15,726 --> 00:04:17,786 ADIOS, MUCHACHOS. 87 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:20,990 YOU'RE NOT WORRIED, ARE YOU? 88 00:04:20,991 --> 00:04:24,571 ( scoffs ) NOT AT ALL. THE SPICIEST CHILI ALWAYS WINS, 89 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,495 AND THIS YEAR, I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON. 90 00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:30,368 THEY CALL IT THE "YOUR MOMMY PEPPER." 91 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,001 'CAUSE ONE TASTE AND YOU'RE CRYING FOR YOUR MOMMY. 92 00:04:33,003 --> 00:04:35,853 CHUCK'LL BE CRYING FOR HIS MOMMY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA BEAT HIM. 93 00:04:35,846 --> 00:04:38,776 ALL I NEED IS ONE LITTLE SCOOP. NOW WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 94 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,449 YOU DO NOT WANNA GET THIS ON YOUR FINGER-- OW! MY FINGER! 95 00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:44,363 MY SHIRT! 96 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,717 WHOA! YOU ARE SO GONNA WIN THIS YEAR. 97 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,643 SPENDING THE DAY AT A BEAUTY SPA WAS A GREAT IDEA, TRISH. 98 00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:08,636 SHH! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING. 99 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,879 TRISH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 100 00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:12,611 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING. 101 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,453 I AM, MADAME TRINKA. 102 00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:17,815 I'M SHOWING THIS CUSTOMER HOW TO PROPERLY RELAX. 103 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,348 I NEED YOU TO WASH THE TOWELS, 104 00:05:20,351 --> 00:05:21,791 REFILL THE WATERS, 105 00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:24,632 AND WIPE DOWN THE MASSAGE TABLES. 106 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,625 I'M WATCHING YOU. 107 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,427 DON'T WORRY, I'M WORKING. I'M WORKING. 108 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,812 I GUESS I HAVE TO GO PRETEND TO WORK NOW, 109 00:05:34,805 --> 00:05:36,565 BUT YOU STAY HERE AND RELAX. 110 00:05:38,769 --> 00:05:41,909 THIS COCONUT WATER IS KIND OF THICK. 111 00:05:41,912 --> 00:05:45,022 - THAT'S MASSAGE OIL. - ( spits ) 112 00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:49,447 SORRY. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT THAT THERE. 113 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,620 I GUESS IT DOES KIND OF LOOK LIKE WATER. 114 00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,822 DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE BEFORE I GO? 115 00:05:53,824 --> 00:05:57,664 MY FOOT BATH'S GETTING KIND OF COLD. 116 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:58,858 ( groans ) 117 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,589 THE HOT WATER'S ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK. 118 00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:05,542 I'LL JUST PUT A COUPLE OF THESE HOT ROCKS IN. 119 00:06:05,536 --> 00:06:07,136 WHY DO YOU HAVE HOT ROCKS? 120 00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:08,837 WE USE THEM FOR HOT ROCK MASSAGES. 121 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,599 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY RELAXING. 122 00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:15,413 OW! OW! OW! 123 00:06:15,406 --> 00:06:18,046 THERE'S NOTHING RELAXING ABOUT THAT. 124 00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:20,478 I SAID "SUPPOSED TO BE." 125 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,481 OH! 126 00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:32,059 I KNOW YOUR CHILI POWDER'S HOT, BUT DO YOU REALLY NEED TO WEAR A GAS MASK? 127 00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:34,022 OH, THIS ISN'T FOR THE POWDER. 128 00:06:34,024 --> 00:06:35,874 THERE'S A HUNDRED PEOPLE HERE EATING CHILI. 129 00:06:35,866 --> 00:06:37,496 DO YOU WANNA BREATHE THAT AIR? 130 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:40,428 YOU'RE RIGHT. GOT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE? 131 00:06:41,532 --> 00:06:44,132 GRADE-A HOT BEEF COMING THROUGH. 132 00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:47,514 OH, YEAH, AND I'VE GOT MY CHILI, TOO. 133 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,578 HOO-HOO! 134 00:06:48,579 --> 00:06:50,079 YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD THEY PUT US NEXT 135 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,840 TO EACH OTHER THIS YEAR, CHUCKY. 136 00:06:51,842 --> 00:06:54,622 I WON'T HAVE TO WALK SO FAR TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE WHEN I WIN. 137 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,185 - OH! - YOU GOT BURNED, 138 00:06:57,187 --> 00:07:00,087 LIKE MY TONGUE WILL BE WHEN I EAT DEZ'S CHILI. 139 00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,420 Both: WHAT UP?! 140 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,022 BLONDIE, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD CHILI 141 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,734 IF IT KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR AND SAID, "HI. 142 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,527 ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. 143 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,859 I'M GOOD CHILI." 144 00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:13,601 CHILI WOULDN'T DO THAT. 145 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,935 HEY, DEZ, I'M HERE TO TAKE MY TEST ON CHILE. 146 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,538 NELSON, I WANT YOU TO TASTE TEST MY CHILI, 147 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,211 NOT TAKE A TEST ON THE COUNTRY OF CHILE. 148 00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:24,782 AW, NARTZ! 149 00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,475 YOU MEAN I LEARNED SANTIAGO 150 00:07:26,477 --> 00:07:29,477 IS THE CAPITAL OF CHILE FOR NOTHING? 151 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,920 WELL, WE HAVE TWO HOURS TO KILL WHILE MY CHILI SIMMERS. 152 00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,463 GREAT. THAT'LL GIVE ME TIME TO GET ALLY'S DRESS 153 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,055 AND GET THE NECKLACE FROM HER GRANDMA. 154 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,487 NELSON, READY TO TEST MY CHILI? 155 00:07:43,494 --> 00:07:44,674 WELL? 156 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,595 IT'S NOT HOT AT ALL. 157 00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:49,597 UGH! YOU HAVE AN UNUSUALLY HIGH TOLERANCE 158 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,170 FOR SPICY FOOD. 159 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,241 I'LL KNOW MY CHILI'S HOT ENOUGH TO WIN WHEN YOU CAN TASTE IT. 160 00:07:54,244 --> 00:07:57,154 I MEAN, IF A REGULAR PERSON TASTED MY CHILI RIGHT NOW, 161 00:07:57,147 --> 00:08:00,877 THEY'D BE SWEATING LIKE CRAZY. THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SPEAK. 162 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,981 THEIR MOUTHS WOULD BE SO ON FIRE, 163 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,593 THEY'D CHUG A FRUIT JUICE JUST TO EASE THE PAIN, 164 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:08,586 BUT THEY'D QUICKLY REALIZE THAT THE ACIDS 165 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,919 FROM THE FRUIT WOULD ONLY MAKE IT HURT WORSE. 166 00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:13,261 ( spits ) 167 00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,503 HOPEFULLY, THEY'D REALIZE THAT THE ONLY THING 168 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,925 THAT CAN EASE THE PAIN IS MILK. 169 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,570 HEY, GIMME THAT! 170 00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:25,644 AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY TASTE TESTER, NELSON. 171 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,008 AUSTIN, QUIT SITTING AROUND. YOU GOTTA GO GET ALLY'S STUFF. 172 00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:36,654 YOU SHRUNK THE BATH TOWELS! 173 00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:39,187 YOU SPILL WHEATGRASS JUICE EVERYWHERE 174 00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:41,189 AND LEFT IT FOR ME TO CLEAN UP. 175 00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:44,761 AND YOU MAKE WHEATGRASS JUICE TOO STRONG. 176 00:08:44,755 --> 00:08:47,195 LOOK, YOU STAINED MY HANDS. 177 00:08:47,197 --> 00:08:50,057 ALL I DID WAS ASK FOR A RAISE. 178 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,030 A SIMPLE "YES" OR "NO" WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE. 179 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:55,012 NO RAISE! ( grunts ) 180 00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:02,010 SORRY ABOUT YOUR FEET. 181 00:09:02,012 --> 00:09:05,622 THE GOOD NEWS IS "MIAMI MUSIC" MAGAZINE WILL PROBABLY 182 00:09:05,616 --> 00:09:08,246 ONLY SHOOT YOU FROM THE WAIST UP. 183 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,648 THAT VOLUMIZER I PUT IN YOUR HAIR IS GONNA MAKE IT LOOK GREAT. 184 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,682 THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 185 00:09:16,026 --> 00:09:17,786 UM... 186 00:09:17,788 --> 00:09:19,558 MAYBE WE CAN GET THE PHOTOGRAPHER 187 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,559 TO FOCUS ON THAT PRETTY SMILE OF YOURS. 188 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,895 YOU DRANK THE WHEATGRASS, DIDN'T YOU? 189 00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:29,337 YES, WHY? 190 00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:34,752 - WHAT? WANT SOME? - MNH-MNH. 191 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,193 HOW DO MY TEETH LOOK? 192 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,985 MUCH BETTER. 193 00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:52,189 BUT I WOULD STILL SMILE WITH MY MOUTH CLOSED FOR THE PICTURE. 194 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,322 I CAN'T DO THE PHOTO SHOOT LOOKING LIKE THIS. 195 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:57,234 LOOK, WE'LL FIX YOUR TEETH. WE'LL FIX YOUR HAIR. 196 00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:00,127 AND IF WE CAN'T, WE'LL PUT A HAT ON. 197 00:10:01,131 --> 00:10:02,701 JUST RELAX. 198 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,083 HERE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THIS PARAFFIN WAX. 199 00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:07,035 IT'S REALLY SOOTHING. 200 00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:08,737 I DON'T THINK I CAN RE-- 201 00:10:08,739 --> 00:10:11,739 OOH, THAT DOES KIND OF FEEL NICE. 202 00:10:11,742 --> 00:10:15,252 SEE? AND I'LL PUT THIS FACE MASK ON YOU. 203 00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:18,215 I'LL HAVE YOU LOOKING AND FEELING AS GOOD AS NEW. 204 00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,090 CLOSE YOUR EYES, 205 00:10:22,092 --> 00:10:24,252 RELAX. 206 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,730 HI, YOU'RE HERE FOR YOUR MASSAGE, RIGHT? 207 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,914 I'M SO SORRY. INGRID WENT HOME SICK. 208 00:10:36,907 --> 00:10:38,267 COME BACK TOMORROW. 209 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,111 HI, INGRID. I'M READY FOR MY MASSAGE. 210 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,947 ( country music playing ) 211 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:56,385 CAN YOU TASTE THE HEAT? 212 00:10:56,386 --> 00:10:59,356 I TASTE A SECOND PLACE CERTIFICATE. 213 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,859 - UGH! - ( Chuck shouts ) 214 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,072 COME HERE, LITTLE FELLER, AND TASTE SOME REAL CHILI. 215 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,365 MY CHILI'S SO HOT, 216 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,936 YOU HAVE TO STICK YOUR TONGUE IN FIRE TO COOL IT OFF. 217 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,202 OH, YEAH? WELL, MY CHILI'S SO HOT, 218 00:11:14,204 --> 00:11:17,184 NASA USES IT FOR ROCKET FUEL. 219 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,877 MY CHILI'S SO HOT, 220 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:22,179 IT'S THE SECOND LEADING CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING. 221 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,312 WELL, MY CHILI'S SO HOT, 222 00:11:24,314 --> 00:11:28,194 YOU HAVE TO PUT A SMOKE DETECTOR IN YOUR UNDERWEAR BEFORE YOU EAT IT. 223 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,458 MY CHILI'S SO HOT, 224 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:33,020 THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT RENAMING THE SUN 225 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,173 "MY CHILI." 226 00:11:35,165 --> 00:11:39,165 YEAH, WELL, MY CHILI'S SO HOT, IT-- 227 00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:41,899 - IT-- - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 228 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,082 CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE? DON'T FEEL BAD. 229 00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:48,335 I ALSO WON FIRST PLACE IN THE SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN. 230 00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:50,308 ( cackles ) 231 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,810 YOU KNOW WHAT? 232 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,382 THAT'S IT! 233 00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:56,354 HEY, DEZ, I GOT ALLY'S STUFF. 234 00:11:56,346 --> 00:12:00,246 ( sighs ) SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. ALLY LIED. 235 00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:03,720 IT WAS THE BORING STORY GRANDMA. ( sighs ) 236 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,833 APPARENTLY, THIS NECKLACE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY 237 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,996 FOR 200 YEARS. 238 00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:10,728 IT WAS ORIGINALLY A GIFT TO A DUCHESS FROM A PIRATE. 239 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,900 WOW, A PIRATE? 240 00:12:11,902 --> 00:12:14,362 OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN A PILOT. 241 00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:16,774 IT WAS HARD TO TELL. GRANNY DIDN'T HAVE HER TEETH IN. 242 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,768 WHOA, DID YOU JUST PUT THAT WHOLE JAR IN THERE? 243 00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:23,871 YEP. I AM NOT LOSING TO THAT COW-JERK AGAIN. 244 00:12:23,874 --> 00:12:26,184 TASTE THIS, NELSON. 245 00:12:26,176 --> 00:12:28,346 IT'S GOT A WHOLE JAR OF "YOUR MOMMY PEPPER" IN IT. 246 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,250 WELL? 247 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,881 MOMMY! 248 00:12:33,884 --> 00:12:36,934 WHOA! THE NECKLACE. 249 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:38,187 GET A LADLE, QUICK. 250 00:12:45,295 --> 00:12:48,495 - WHERE'D THE POT GO? - IT'S ON THE JUDGES' TABLE. 251 00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:52,501 ALL THE POTS LOOK THE SAME. 252 00:12:52,502 --> 00:12:54,342 THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW WHICH ONE HAS THE NECKLACE IN IT. 253 00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:57,284 WE ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. 254 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,107 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. 255 00:12:59,109 --> 00:13:01,979 YOUR CHILI'S SO BAD, WHEN PEOPLE ARE HAVING A BAD DAY, 256 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,262 THEY SAY THEY'RE HAVING A "DEZ'S CHILI DAY." 257 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,458 I THINK I'M HAVING A DEZ'S CHILI DAY. 258 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,796 ( country music playing ) 259 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,129 WE'VE GOTTA FIND THAT NECKLACE. 260 00:13:21,131 --> 00:13:22,901 OKAY, BUT WE GOTTA BE CAREFUL. 261 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:26,083 I DON'T WANNA DO ANYTHING THAT MIGHT MAKE ME LOSE THE COOK-OFF. 262 00:13:26,076 --> 00:13:27,576 ( sighs ) 263 00:13:29,079 --> 00:13:32,079 EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU TELL ME WHICH CHILI'S MINE? 264 00:13:32,082 --> 00:13:33,582 I JUST NEED TO CHECK IT REAL QUICK. 265 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,393 STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILI! 266 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:40,217 NO ONE TOUCHES THESE POTS UNTIL AFTER THE BLIND TASTE TEST. 267 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,550 FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU COULD BE SABOTAGING SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILI. 268 00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:47,163 DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE THAT WOULD DO THAT? 269 00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:49,397 DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO COLLECTS PORCELAIN CATS? 270 00:13:49,399 --> 00:13:51,229 WE'VE ALL GOT THINGS TO HIDE. 271 00:13:53,303 --> 00:13:56,343 - BUT THERE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THAT POT. - I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. 272 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,906 LITERALLY. 'CAUSE I'M THE JUDGE. 273 00:13:58,909 --> 00:14:02,439 SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S NO WAY I CAN TOUCH MY CHILI JUST FOR A SEC? 274 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,012 - OH, THERE'S A WAY. - GREAT. 275 00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:05,084 IF YOU WANT TO BE DISQUALIFIED. 276 00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:07,475 ( gasps ) NEVER. 277 00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:10,177 NOW GET OUT OF HERE. I DON'T WANT ANY BEEF FROM YOU. 278 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,480 LITERALLY. 'CAUSE I'M JUDGING VEGETARIAN CHILIS. 279 00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:16,092 - ( sighs ) - WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW? 280 00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:17,556 WE'RE GONNA LOOK THROUGH ALL THIS CHILI 281 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,987 WITHOUT LETTING ANYONE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING. 282 00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:25,173 HEY, JUDGE. 283 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,165 HOW DO YOU BECOME A CHILI JUDGE? 284 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,138 DO YOU JUDGE ANY OTHER FOODS? 285 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:33,040 STEW, BREAKFAST CEREALS, 286 00:14:33,043 --> 00:14:34,273 COBBLERS? 287 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,054 HEY, LOOK, IT'S A SPACE SHUTTLE! 288 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,163 HERE'S MY IDEA. 289 00:14:45,155 --> 00:14:47,315 I'M GONNA THROW THIS FOOTBALL TO THAT JUDGE. 290 00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:49,517 WHEN HE TRIES TO CATCH IT, HE'LL DROP HIS BOWL ON THE FLOOR. 291 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:51,359 THEN WE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE IF THE NECKLACE IS IN IT. 292 00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:53,491 IT'S A FOOLPROOF PLAN. 293 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,663 HEY, CATCH. 294 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,012 OKAY, IF WE CAN'T GET TO THE CHILI FROM THE TOP, 295 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,035 WE'LL GO IN FROM THE BOTTOM. 296 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:14,542 DEZ, I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 297 00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:32,159 NO NECKLACE, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE 298 00:15:32,162 --> 00:15:34,032 I KNOW WHICH ONE'S COMING IN LAST PLACE. 299 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:37,174 TWO WORDS-- "NAS TEE." 300 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,053 YOUR SKIN IS GONNA LOOK SO GOOD IN THIS PHOTO. 301 00:15:47,617 --> 00:15:48,717 HUH. 302 00:15:48,718 --> 00:15:51,348 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HUH"? 303 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,021 DID I SAY "HUH?" 304 00:15:54,024 --> 00:15:57,434 I'M SORRY. I MEANT TO SAY YOUR ENTIRE FACE IS PINK. 305 00:15:57,427 --> 00:16:00,087 WHAT?! 306 00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,590 "HAIR DYE"? 307 00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,091 SERIOUSLY? 308 00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:06,243 MY HAIR, MY TEETH AND NOW MY FACE? 309 00:16:06,236 --> 00:16:08,696 WELL, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO MESS UP. 310 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,200 UM, TRISH, MY HANDS ARE STUCK. 311 00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,214 I STAND CORRECTED. 312 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:18,306 HELP ME. 313 00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:20,278 ( grunting ) 314 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,280 WOW, THIS STUFF IS STICKY. 315 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,022 HOW HAVE YOU NOT BEEN FIRED? 316 00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:27,015 ACTUALLY, I WAS FIRED TWO HOURS AGO. 317 00:16:27,017 --> 00:16:30,517 MADAME TRINKA'S RIGHT. I'M THE WORST. 318 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,360 I JUST WANTED YOU TO HAVE A NICE TIME BEFORE YOUR PHOTO SHOOT, 319 00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,334 AND NOW I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING. 320 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,326 I'M SO SORRY, ALLY. 321 00:16:39,529 --> 00:16:43,029 IT'S OKAY. I KNOW YOU MEANT WELL. 322 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:46,183 I'M ALSO SORRY THAT I JUST PUT MY HANDS ON MY FACE 323 00:16:46,176 --> 00:16:47,476 BECAUSE NOW THEY'RE STUCK! 324 00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:49,037 ( grunting ) 325 00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:52,139 - OH! - ( screams ) 326 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,324 THOSE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. 327 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:59,286 ( laughing ) 328 00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:01,189 I'M SORRY, IT'S NOT FUNNY. IT'S NOT FUNNY. 329 00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,721 - NO. - NO. 330 00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:14,361 AW, MAN, THEY'RE PASSING THE CHILI OUT TO EVERYONE. 331 00:17:14,364 --> 00:17:17,144 GREAT. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEIR REACTIONS TO MY CHILI. 332 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,037 I'M SURE TO WIN. 333 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,138 MY POINT IS THERE'S TOO MUCH CHILI TO LOOK THROUGH. 334 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,711 WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND THE NECKLACE. 335 00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:27,175 UH-OH, HERE COMES ALLY AND TRISH. 336 00:17:27,177 --> 00:17:30,247 HMM. THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU GUYS. 337 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:34,250 YEAH, HER FACE IS PINK, AND I DON'T HAVE ANY EYEBROWS. 338 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,194 NO, THAT'S NOT IT. 339 00:17:39,489 --> 00:17:42,189 Both: ALLY, THERE'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO TELL YOU. 340 00:17:42,192 --> 00:17:43,832 I'LL TELL HER. 341 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,473 NO, I'LL TELL HER. 342 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,335 FINE, YOU TELL HER. 343 00:17:47,337 --> 00:17:50,567 OKAY, W-W-WAIT. STOP TALKING. 344 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,370 Both: GUYS, WILL ONE OF YOU JUST TELL US WHAT'S GOING-- 345 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,213 OH, COME ON! 346 00:17:56,206 --> 00:17:58,776 ALLY, I LOST YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S NECKLACE. 347 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,448 WHAT?! 348 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:03,280 THAT NECKLACE HAS BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOREVER. 349 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,523 GRANNY'S GONNA BE SO DEVASTATED. 350 00:18:05,515 --> 00:18:07,355 WE CAN STILL FIND IT. 351 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:10,287 IT'S IN ONE OF THOSE BOWLS OF CHILI. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE. 352 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,690 ( whimpers ) 353 00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:14,762 I DIDN'T WANNA HAVE TO DO THIS 354 00:18:14,764 --> 00:18:16,334 'CAUSE IT COULD MEAN I LOSE THE CHILI COOK-OFF, 355 00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:19,526 BUT FOR YOU, ALLY. 356 00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:22,169 ATTENTION, CHILI FANS. 357 00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:24,502 THERE'S A HIDDEN NECKLACE IN ONE OF THESE POTS OR BOWLS OF CHILI. 358 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,684 WHOEVER FINDS IT WINS $1,000! 359 00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,740 - DO ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE $1,000? - NO. 360 00:18:32,742 --> 00:18:35,522 WE BETTER FIND IT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES. 361 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,145 ( clamoring ) 362 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,627 WAIT, STOP. YOU'RE RUINING THE COOK-OFF! 363 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,143 ( screams ) 364 00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:29,166 WE'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THE CHILI 365 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,238 AND NO ONE'S FOUND MY NECKLACE. 366 00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:34,901 - ( Austin sighs ) - WAIT, THERE'S ONE BOWL LEFT. 367 00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:37,354 - OH! - THE NECKLACE HAS GOTTA BE IN THERE. 368 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:38,847 THEN THAT MUST BE MY CHILI. 369 00:19:38,848 --> 00:19:40,878 SINCE IT'S THE ONLY ONE LEFT FOR THE JUDGES TO TASTE, 370 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,250 I'M AUTOMATICALLY GONNA WIN. 371 00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:44,753 NOT SO FAST, RED. 372 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,957 IF I GET THAT BOWL FIRST, YOU AIN'T WINNING NOTHING. 373 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,720 LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ME AND YOU, CHUCKY. 374 00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:56,533 THIS MALL AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. 375 00:19:56,526 --> 00:20:00,226 ACTUALLY, THE MALL'S CAPACITY IS 2,847, 376 00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:02,230 AND THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE PARKING LOTS. 377 00:20:02,232 --> 00:20:04,402 PROCEED. 378 00:20:06,236 --> 00:20:08,206 THAT CHILI'S MINE. 379 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,737 I'M FINALLY GONNA BEAT YOU. 380 00:20:09,739 --> 00:20:11,709 NOT IF I DUMP IT OUT FIRST. 381 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:28,695 DRAW. 382 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,019 ( shouting ) 383 00:20:55,425 --> 00:20:58,355 - I GOT IT! - ( cheering ) 384 00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,589 LET ME JUST-- 385 00:21:01,591 --> 00:21:03,931 THANKS, DEZ. THAT WAS REALLY SWEET. 386 00:21:08,298 --> 00:21:11,668 BY THE WAY, ONE OF YOU OWES ME $1,000. 387 00:21:16,806 --> 00:21:20,046 GRANDMA, I WON THE CHILI COOK-OFF THIS YEAR! 388 00:21:21,511 --> 00:21:24,711 MAKE ROOM ON YOUR 'FRIDGE FOR MY FIRST PLACE RIBBON. 389 00:21:24,714 --> 00:21:27,694 ACTUALLY, MAKE ROOM FOR TWO. 390 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,517 I PLAN ON WINNING THE BARBECUE SAUCE COOK-OFF, TOO. 391 00:21:33,363 --> 00:21:35,473 NOT SO FAST, RED. 392 00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:39,065 - GOTTA GO, GRANDMA. - ( beeps ) 393 00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:42,428 THE BARBECUE SAUCE WITH THE STRONGEST FLAVOR WINS. 394 00:21:42,432 --> 00:21:44,632 AND THAT'S GONNA BE MINE. 395 00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:46,844 MY SAUCE IS SO STRONG, 396 00:21:46,836 --> 00:21:49,706 IT CAN DO 50 ONE-HANDED PUSH-UPS. 397 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:50,809 OH, YEAH? 398 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,640 WELL, MY SAUCE IS SO STRONG, 399 00:21:52,642 --> 00:21:55,822 IT WON AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN WEIGHTLIFTING. 400 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,945 MY SAUCE IS SO STRONG, 401 00:21:57,947 --> 00:22:00,017 WHEN SUPERHEROES ARE IN TROUBLE, 402 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,489 THEY CALL MY SAUCE FOR HELP. 403 00:22:02,492 --> 00:22:04,792 MY SAUCE IS SO STRONG, 404 00:22:04,794 --> 00:22:07,864 IT'S DOING A BUDDY COP MOVIE WITH THE ROCK. 405 00:22:07,857 --> 00:22:10,627 MY SAUCE IS SO STRONG, 406 00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:13,030 THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT RENAMING HERCULES 407 00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:16,012 "MY SAUCE-ULES." 408 00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:17,935 OKAY, THAT ONE 409 00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:20,367 DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. 30489

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