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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,143 Hey, Lindsey.Hey. 2 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:11,052 What are you up to today?Nothing. 3 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,578 Who are you talking to?No one. 4 00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:16,492 Well, tell no one I said nothing. 5 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,578 Okay. 6 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,497 Hey, Mom.Hi. 7 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,113 Do you mind if I watch some football? 8 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,943 Well, at least one of my kids is speaking to me today. 9 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,682 Of course, sweetheart. Go ahead. 10 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:28,773 Thank you. 11 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,423 Hey, honey. What's up? 12 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,597 Nobody, nowhere, no nothing. 13 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,649 Hey, Kevin. What're you up to? 14 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,910 Nothing. Just about to watch some football. 15 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,393 Football? I didn't know you were into football. 16 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:46,004 Are you kidding? It's the greatest sport in the world! 17 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,566 [LAUGHS] My man! 18 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,752 I didn't even know the preseason had started. 19 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,228 COMMENTATOR: The Super Classic continues. 20 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,098 It's a huge one today 21 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,230 as it's the Western Conference semifinals game two, tied two all. 22 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,972 What's this? Put it on football. 23 00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,024 What do you mean? This is football. 24 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,710 Boy, my eyes may not be what they used to be, 25 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,887 but I know the difference between soccer and football. 26 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,023 Now change the channel. 27 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,105 This is real football. futbol. 28 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:11,845 I don't know what "fruitbol" is, but in America, we play football. 29 00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,727 The sport I played in college, 30 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,809 with the pads and helmets and the guys who knock each other around. 31 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,508 The sport real men play. 32 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,685 Goal! 33 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,820 No fair! He used his hands! 34 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,083 What kind of sport doesn't let a man use his hands? 35 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,166 No wonder nobody watches this stuff. 36 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,125 It's the most popular sport in the world. 37 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,134 That may be, but it's the least popular sport in my house. 38 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,567 So change the channel. 39 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,009 Change the channel. 40 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,185 You know what... 41 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,749 It's not "frutbol" okay? It's football. 42 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,154 Look it up in the dictionary. 43 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,541 Football, man! 44 00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:47,108 Suzanne! 45 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,150 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 46 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,195 ♪ Are we there yet? 47 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,457 ♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me 48 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,464 ♪ Tell me, are we there yet? 49 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,066 ♪ Are we there yet? 50 00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,993 Goal, goal, goal!Yes! 51 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,036 Hey, Kevin. This came for you. 52 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,520 Cool! 53 00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,126 What's that? 54 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,175 It's my autographed photo of Hope Solo. 55 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,351 She is my favorite football player. 56 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,140 There are no football players named "Hope." 57 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,844 Football players have names like 58 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:27,581 Mean Joe Greene, Refrigerator Perry, L.T., T.O., A.P., Eli. 59 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,665 What about Chris Hope on the Tennessee Titans? 60 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,848 Can you frame that for me?Sure. 61 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:34,982 Goal! 62 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634 Goal! 63 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,069 Yes! 64 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,819 Hey, baby. 65 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:50,905 Hey. 66 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,393 What are you doing?Uh, taking a quiz. 67 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,439 Who is Tyra Cyrus? 68 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,234 Oh, that's me. 69 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:05,009 I created a fake profile and friended one of Lindsey's friends. 70 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,494 That way she would friend me. 71 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,844 This way, I can see her profile. 72 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,584 So since your daughter won't speak to you, 73 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:14,055 you decided the best way to get to know her was to spy on her? 74 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:17,016 Hey, that's the way we deal with North Korea. 75 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,846 And, Nick, it's not spying. It's "friending." 76 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,325 Do what you want, but I think it's a bad idea. 77 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:26,206 Did you know that Lindsey is into saving the dolphins? 78 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:29,509 And if she had $5,000, she'd spend it on a Segway? 79 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,207 Why wouldn't she spend it on saving the dolphins? 80 00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,295 Because nobody asked you. Who is that? 81 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,914 Oh, that's Hope Solo. 82 00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,475 Did you know Kevin was into soccer? 83 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,262 Yes. I'm his mother. 84 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,267 He's been into soccer since he was five. 85 00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:43,964 What's the problem? 86 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,826 The problem is, it's a girl's sport. 87 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,437 The only men I know who play soccer 88 00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,578 are Pele and that dude who married Posh Spice. 89 00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,751 You're worried about my son's masculinity, 90 00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,577 but you know who Posh Spice is? 91 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,976 That's because I like girls. 92 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,929 I'm not trying to bend it like Beckham. 93 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,067 Okay. Well, Kevin loves soccer. 94 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,330 You should give it a chance. You might like it, too. 95 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,943 No way. I like using my hands too much. 96 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,684 He should give football a chance. 97 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:11,245 Well, do what you want, I know my children. [GASPS] 98 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,654 Lindsey just joined the group, "Megan Fox Must Be Stopped." 99 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,303 [SCOFFS] 100 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,395 Hey, buddy. Got here as fast as I could. 101 00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,009 Thanks. You got it? 102 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,219 Bam! 103 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,098 Here it is. Madden 11. 104 00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:33,319 This baby is so new, John Madden doesn't even know about it. 105 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,580 Put it over there by Barkley. 106 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,633 I didn't think Kevin was into football. 107 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:41,018 He's not. That's the problem. He's into soccer. 108 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,803 And his favorite athlete is a girl. 109 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,067 I don't want to have to buy him a sports bra. 110 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,940 Hmm. Ouch. 111 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:51,732 In the final score, it's Girl Power, one. Father Figure, nothing. 112 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,859 All that's going to change after we play a few games of Madden. 113 00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,953 Mmm. Unless he plays it and decides he wants to be a cheerleader. 114 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,300 It happens! 115 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:15,491 Who are you, strange boy, sending my daughter gifts? 116 00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,062 I'm gonna have to friend you, too. 117 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,280 [DOORBELL RINGS] 118 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,372 Suzanne, I have an emergency. 119 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,632 What is it? 120 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:29,154 You know that guy I've been dating, Jonathan? 121 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,198 Yeah. What did he do? 122 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,463 Nothing. That's the problem. 123 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:36,027 Every time I call him, he doesn't answer. 124 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:39,774 And when I ask why he didn't call me back, he acts like he never got the message. 125 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,907 So last night, 126 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:46,000 I tried one last time to get his attention by sending him naked pictures of me. 127 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,130 No, you didn't. 128 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,524 Yes, I did. 129 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,092 And he didn't respond. 130 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:57,046 So, tomorrow I'm gonna break up with him. 131 00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,705 Okay, what's the problem? You've broken up with tons of guys. 132 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,580 The problem is 133 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,062 I want to make sure those pictures are deleted off his phone first. 134 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,632 Because the last thing you want to do 135 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,409 is break up with a guy who has naked pictures of you. 136 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,625 I mean, you've seen what happened to John Edwards. 137 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,373 Okay, what do you need me to do? 138 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,459 Okay. 139 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,725 Tomorrow night, I'm going out to dinner with him, 140 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,898 and at 9:00, I need you to call me. 141 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,084 And when I answer, 142 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,819 I'm gonna act like my phone went dead, 143 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,820 and ask to borrow his phone. 144 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:29,132 And then I'm gonna go into his phone and delete the pictures I sent him. 145 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:31,651 Why don't you just ask him to delete them? 146 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:35,305 Like a man would voluntarily delete naked pictures of me. 147 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,144 I don't think so. 148 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:39,788 That's funny, though. 149 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,403 Right. 150 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,289 What are you doing with my hat? 151 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,252 I'm trying to take a better picture for my profile. 152 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,642 Well, if you wanted a better picture, 153 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,685 you might as well wear a paper bag over your head. 154 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,131 Now give me my hat.No. 155 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,648 Give me my hat! What's wrong with you? 156 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,872 Hey, hey, hey, you two, what is going on? 157 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,092 Nothing. 158 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,438 Oh! What's wrong with Lindsey? 159 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,478 I don't know. 160 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:25,358 But I am about to find out. 161 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:29,011 Hey, Kev. You want to test out an early version of the new Maddengame? 162 00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,797 Madden?What's that? 163 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:33,891 It's a football game. NFL football. 164 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,891 Sure, I guess.All right, cool. 165 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,286 See, it's working. 166 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,250 What's the latest on Lindsey? 167 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,988 She just updated her profile pic. 168 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,081 And Jenny likes it. 169 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,245 It's working! 170 00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:52,035 "Me, too." 171 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,340 Smiley face. 172 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,816 "Send." 173 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,920 All right, Kevin, 174 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,442 I'll be the Seahawks. You should be the Vikings. 175 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,837 They have Adrian Peterson, the fastest-rated player. 176 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,617 Who's got the best kicker? 177 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,756 Kevin, no one picks a team based on the kicker. 178 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,630 The Lions' kicker looks good. I'll be them. 179 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:23,244 No, no. You cannot be the Lions. 180 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:27,585 Kevin, the Lions are the only team in the history of the NFL to go 0-16. 181 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:31,857 I don't even know why they wear uniforms. They should just play in jean shorts. 182 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,042 I don't care. I wanna be the Lions. 183 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,778 Fine, you can be the Lions. 184 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,869 But don't come crying to me when you don't reach the endzone. 185 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,692 What's an endzone? 186 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,517 Okay, this is gonna be a long game. 187 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:55,064 Yes! First down! 188 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:58,019 Not bad, Kev, you made it down to the 40-yard line. 189 00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:00,839 I think you might be better than the actual Detroit Lions. 190 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,813 Wait, wait, what are you doing? You can't line up for a field goal. 191 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,459 Why not? 192 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,983 Because it's first down, and you're on the 40-yard line. 193 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,896 You want to score a touchdown. 194 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,381 I like field goals. 195 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,123 [COMMENTATOR] And, it's good. 196 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,033 Yes! Field goal! 197 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,988 Wow! Fifty-eight yards straight down the middle. 198 00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,297 This kid can kick! 199 00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:26,444 Pick up, pick up the thing. Let's go. 200 00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,308 I'll whoop you.Let's go. 201 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:34,396 He's down to the 10, the five, and fumble! 202 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:37,273 And the Lions take over at the Seahawks' one-yard line! 203 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,575 Oh, baby! 204 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,844 And in a surprise move, 205 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:43,634 the kicking team trots back out onto the field... 206 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,450 Wait, what are you doing? 207 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,277 You're on the one-yard line. You have one yard to go for a touchdown. 208 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,456 KEVIN: I like field goals. 209 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,641 Yes! Field goal! 210 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:56,599 And our score. Lions, six, Seahawks, zero. 211 00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,252 Come on.But I'm hungry. 212 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,644 Come on, pick it up. Let's go. Let's play. 213 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,603 Field goal! 214 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,342 Field goal! 215 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,744 Field goal. 216 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,611 Field goal! 217 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,612 Field goal. 218 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,569 Field goal. 219 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,963 Filed goal!Field goal! 220 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,568 Yes! I win! 221 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:22,188 Turn out the lights, folks, this party is over! 222 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,535 I can't believe you won on all field goals. 223 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,541 Hey, at least you were right about one thing, 224 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,323 he never did make it to the endzone. 225 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,757 Touchdowns are stupid. 226 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,495 Why would you let everybody hit you 227 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,585 when you can just kick it right over their heads? 228 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,675 He does have a point. 229 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,644 Plus, lots of these kickers were former soccer players. 230 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,563 And everybody knows soccer players are better than football players. 231 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,781 Excuse me? 232 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,339 I know a lot of soccer players who could easily play football. 233 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,476 I don't know any football players who could play soccer. 234 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,959 And you are excused. 235 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,570 I was a football player, 236 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,920 and I could beat you in soccer any day of the week! 237 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,570 How about tomorrow? We can have a shootout. 238 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:00,878 Fine!Fine. 239 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,012 What's a shootout? 240 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,368 What's a shootout? 241 00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,112 "Hi, Lindsey. 242 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:22,546 "If you're still thinking about it, I say go for it." 243 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,808 Go for what? 244 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,076 Hey, Lindsey.Hey. 245 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,914 Been thinking about anything?Not really. 246 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:34,960 Going for something? 247 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,776 Huh? No. 248 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,662 [DOORBELL RINGS] 249 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,216 Hey, Gigi! 250 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,397 You're not gonna believe this. 251 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,493 What now? 252 00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,101 That man deleted naked pictures of me! 253 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,060 Voluntarily?Yes! 254 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,282 Last night worked perfectly when you called me. 255 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,852 But when I borrowed Jonathan's phone, 256 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,589 and went outside to delete the pictures I'd sent him, 257 00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,810 they weren't even there. 258 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,069 That's great! 259 00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,851 No, it's not. 260 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,766 I don't send those pictures to just anybody. How dare he delete them? 261 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,773 Wait, I thought the whole point of this scheme 262 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,376 was to get your pictures off of his phone. 263 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:15,597 Yes, it's okay if I delete them. But he shouldn't! 264 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,867 He should be sending them all over the Internet. 265 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:21,041 I should be on the front page of Media Takeout. 266 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,791 I see. 267 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,790 Gigi, what's up with the gear? 268 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,532 Oh, I just came from boxing class. 269 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,402 I'm trying to work off my aggression before I see him again tonight, 270 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,575 because, this time, 271 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,621 I'm gonna make him beg me to send him pictures. 272 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,367 And then I'm going to dump him. 273 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,236 I see. 274 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,852 Well... 275 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:45,422 That'll teach him to delete inappropriate pictures of you 276 00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:47,770 that you wanted to delete anyway. 277 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,900 Mmm. I knew you'd understand. 278 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,337 Did you drive like that? 279 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,159 Can you help me? 280 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,598 Gigi!What? 281 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,134 There's no peripheral vision. You can't even see. 282 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,598 Well, I didn't have to see all that much. 283 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,258 It was just a straight line and then I had to turn, 284 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,432 and then another straight line. 285 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,517 Then, I did a U-turn... 286 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,867 Ah! 287 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,397 Ready, baby. 288 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,790 What makes the grass grow? Sweat makes the grass grow! 289 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,493 Hut! Hut! Hut! 290 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,459 What are you doing? 291 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,328 Defensive football drills. 292 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,376 Soccer players wouldn't know anything about it. 293 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,903 What are you doing here? 294 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,506 Somebody had to bring the snacks. 295 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,516 Plus, I need to be here to make sure everything is fair 296 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:44,078 and that nobody has anything to complain about no matter what happens. 297 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,127 Orange slice? 298 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,964 KEVIN: Are you ready?I was born ready. 299 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,140 Goal! 300 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,882 Hey, hey, hey. I wasn't ready! 301 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,269 Now I'm ready. 302 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,974 Goal! 303 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,186 You know what? 304 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,024 You better enjoy that one, 305 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,242 because that's going to be the last one you get. 306 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,198 [GRUNTS] 307 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,726 Look, Gigi, Lindsey has 692 friends on here. 308 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,471 Wow. 309 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,912 Look, she's taken a quiz, 310 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,430 "Who is your biracial boyfriend?" 311 00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:30,042 And she's joined another group. 312 00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:34,176 "Did You Know Megan Fox Has Clubbed Thumbs?" 313 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,791 What is up with her and Megan Fox? 314 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,791 Oh, look, she's been poked 67 times! 315 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:42,144 And Jeremy commented on her post, 316 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:46,225 "Am thinking about going all the way this week." 317 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,446 What do you think that means? 318 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,405 I think it means what it's always meant. 319 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,204 Sex? 320 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,501 No way, mm-mmm, not my Lindsey. 321 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:59,327 That could mean any number of things. 322 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,336 What's going on out there?Soccer shootout. 323 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:06,559 Oh, soccer players! So athletic. 324 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,861 What do you mean it could mean any number of things? 325 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,298 I don't know! 326 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,744 Well, you need to have a talk with your daughter. 327 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,391 [BALL BANGS DOOR] 328 00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:15,645 I don't believe this. 329 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,567 And while you're on the subject, 330 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:20,532 make sure you tell her never to send a guy naked cell phone pictures. 331 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,016 SUZANNE: How'd the game go? 332 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,580 It was great. I beat him 10-1. 333 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,848 He did better than I thought though. 334 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,720 Why don't you go upstairs and get cleaned up? 335 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,462 But I didn't even break a sweat. 336 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,200 Go! 337 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:42,806 Fine. 338 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,473 Nick, I need to talk to you about Lindsey. 339 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:50,122 Can we do it sitting down? 340 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,426 [GRUNTS WEARILY] 341 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,044 Okay. 342 00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,866 So, Lindsey is thinking about having sex. 343 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,306 I saw it on her web page. 344 00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,883 See, I told you spying on her would lead to trouble. 345 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,361 Spying on who? 346 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,010 Lindsey, would you have a seat, please? 347 00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,712 Uh, okay. 348 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,095 Maybe I should leave you two alone. 349 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,798 No, Nick, you stay. I need your support on this. 350 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,589 Fine. 351 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,368 What's this about? 352 00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,236 Your mother was wondering...Are you thinking about having sex? 353 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,507 What? Why would you ask me something like that? 354 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,860 Because...I saw it on your web page 355 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,989 that you're thinking about going all the way. 356 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,382 You saw my web page? How? 357 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:35,076 She created...I created a fake profile, so I could see it. 358 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,874 Lindsey, why didn't you tell me that you were thinking about having sex? 359 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,830 I thought I could trust you to come to me with things like this. 360 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,086 Wait a minute. 361 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,754 You created a fake profile to spy on me, and you're talking about trust? 362 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,009 She was just...I was just trying to find out more about you, 363 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:53,362 because it seems like you never wanna talk to me anymore. 364 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,543 Well, that's not the way to go about it, Mom. 365 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,229 And I'm not thinking about having sex. 366 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,057 Then why...Then why does it say on your profile 367 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,365 that you're thinking about going all the way? 368 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,071 I was talking about my hair. 369 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,239 I hated my last haircut, 370 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,545 and I was thinking about cutting it really short. 371 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,724 Really?Really? 372 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,377 Really. How could you spy on me like that? 373 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,470 Sweetheart, I'm sorry for spying on you. 374 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,125 It was wrong and stupid. 375 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,003 Will you forgive me? 376 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,573 Yes. Which one of my friends are you? 377 00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,703 Tyra Cyrus. 378 00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,094 Tyra Cyrus? Really? 379 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:39,929 That was nice. 380 00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,411 No thanks to you. 381 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:44,411 You barely said anything. Thanks for backing me up. 382 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,465 I never knew soccer could be so hard, Charles. 383 00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:01,602 All I wanted to do was prove to the little guy I still had it. 384 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,385 Like when you played with Scottie Pippen. 385 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,518 Although we did make a little connection. 386 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,264 I spent more time with him in the last two days 387 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,085 than I did the whole last month. 388 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,833 How are you feeling? 389 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:20,448 Like I just played a double overtime game in the Super Bowl, and lost. 390 00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,666 Oh, my big, strong man. 391 00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,892 Ow.Ooh. 392 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,721 I'm sure you probably let him win. 393 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,890 Yeah. I kind of did. 394 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,977 Thanks, baby. 395 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:38,286 Kevin loves soccer. That's not gonna change. 396 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,124 You know what else is never gonna change? 397 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:42,635 How much I love you. 398 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,207 Come on, let's go inside and I'll rub your tired old legs. 399 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,736 All right. Let's go. 400 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:49,949 Ow. 401 00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,962 [GIGGLES] 402 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,695 Any chance we could stay out here? 403 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:02,705 Ow. 404 00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,103 Oh, my goodness!I know. 405 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,494 Okay.Okay. 406 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:08,584 Ooh, help me. 407 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,371 Morning!Morning! 408 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,511 Oh, did you break up with Jonathan yet? 409 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:22,201 Actually, no. 410 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:25,158 Get this, turns out I always had his number wrong. 411 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,507 Which explains why he never returned my calls, 412 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:31,647 and why my pictures weren't on his phone. He never got them! 413 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,742 So, who's been getting your pictures? 414 00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:37,051 I don't know. I texted the person this morning, but I haven't heard back yet. 415 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,438 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 416 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:40,922 Oh, the mystery person! 417 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,527 "Hi. My name is Carl." 418 00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:46,965 Oh, no, it's a guy! 419 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,879 "Thanks for the pics. 420 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,927 "Let's get together soon. 421 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,983 "Here is a picture of me." 422 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,497 BOTH: Eww! 423 00:19:56,543 --> 00:20:00,293 Doesn't anybody send pictures of their faces anymore? 424 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,809 You didn't! 425 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,252 Oh, damn. Now I gotta get a new phone. 426 00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:14,340 All right. With seconds left on the clock, Double KP sets up, he shoots. 427 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:17,387 Goal! And the crowd goes wild! 428 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,961 Hey, man.Hey. 429 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,571 I got something for you. 430 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,788 Who's this?Pete Gogolak. 431 00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,615 Placekicker for the Giants 432 00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,713 and was also responsible for bringing soccer-style kicking to the NFL. 433 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,413 Whoa, thanks, Dad. I love it! 434 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,281 Turns out he was also the Giants' all-time leading scorer. 435 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,674 A former soccer player. Who would've guessed it, huh? 436 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,587 Yeah. 437 00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,722 I guess I underestimated you. 438 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,455 Hey, I'm 10. It happens. 439 00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,547 So she's your favorite soccer player, huh? 440 00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,856 Yep, but that's not why I wanted the picture. 441 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:53,598 Huh? 442 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,173 No, it's because she's hot. 443 00:20:57,604 --> 00:20:59,614 [CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 32337

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