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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,309 Go away! 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,794 Don't scream near me. 3 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,473 - Witch! - Tosser! 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,991 I think you're fantastic. 5 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,959 - Tomoko says I remind her of Mr Bean... - Shut up about your girlfriend. 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,190 I have this daydream about you, all the time. 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,396 Where I push you really hard into a spike. 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,757 And you burst. It's heaven. 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,079 I'm kissin' Carole. 10 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,637 - Oh. - Oh, I thought we were gonna kiss 11 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,472 as we come through the door? I suggested it. 12 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,039 Stop. 13 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,269 Yes. 14 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,634 (CAROLE MOANS) 15 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,040 - Thank you, Carole. - Thank you. 16 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,235 What are you thinking about? 17 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,833 - Hm. This. - Huh? 18 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,116 This, what's happening. (MOANS) 19 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,191 (STATH TUTTING) 20 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,712 Why are you tutting for? Sounds like you're eating. 21 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,995 Nah, I'm enjoying it. 22 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,195 - Mate? -(GRUNTS) 23 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,953 - Mate. - (MOANS) 24 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,633 Mate. (SNORTS) 25 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:02,710 Mate. 26 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,035 (WHISPERS) Carole. 27 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,430 Carole. 28 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,790 Car. 29 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,950 Car, babe. 30 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:17,590 Car. 31 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,630 Carole, babe. 32 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:24,510 Carole! 33 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,590 Mmm? 34 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,909 - Mmm. - Mmm. 35 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,230 Mmm. 36 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,435 What about last night? 37 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:32,430 Really good. 38 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,670 Oh, my God. My mouth is so dry. 39 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,598 I think I had a milk shake here. 40 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,796 In there. (GRUNTS) 41 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,111 Carole, I noticed that I put my t-shirt on the radiator 42 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,476 in the madness of it all, last night, can you believe it? 43 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,550 -(CHUCKLES) - Hm. 44 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,670 Is that refreshing? 45 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:51,795 Hm. 46 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,911 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 47 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,474 (ENGINE REVS) 48 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:15,910 Sorry. 49 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,719 - I swear we've never even... - I don't... 50 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,518 - Walked together before. - I don't know. 51 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,033 Look at those little... 52 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,430 What are those things called? They're like little ships, innit? 53 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,796 - Yeah. - They're so cute. Do you like them? 54 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,915 They're called pedalos, yeah. 55 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,832 Yeah, they're a laugh, actually. They're all right. 56 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,877 Right. See, I didn't even know that you liked them. 57 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,031 - I... Yeah. - I don't know anything about you. 58 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,394 You've been keeping stuff from me. 59 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,596 - When's your... When's your birthday? - What? 60 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,036 Oh, erm, it's May the 1st. 61 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,238 Oh! July 26th! 62 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,994 That's my birthday, we should do like ajoint thing like a... 63 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,753 - I can't. - Holiday... All right. 64 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,353 (PHONE RINGS) 65 00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,430 (VOICEMAIL) It'sStath. 66 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,909 Ifyougotthemessage, leave themessage. 67 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,479 - Unlessyou... -(DEVICE BEEPS) 68 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,551 Stath, it's Sophie again 69 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,870 from... Your sister. 70 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,796 I need to get my results, man, are you coming? 71 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,393 I haven't eaten 'cause you said 72 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,630 about getting me a congratulations' kebab. 73 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,030 OK, thank you. Sorry, love you. 74 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,519 -(MOBILE BEEPS) -(SNORING) 75 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,194 Everyone's late, today, after the party. 76 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,998 Bloody slackers. (CHUCKLES) 77 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,876 Nah, they're OK. I shouldn't have said that, sorry. 78 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,792 Cruel of me. (CLEARS THROAT) 79 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,678 What were you saying about some results? 80 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,832 I'm going to college to get my results for my course. 81 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,560 Oh! Wow-aroo! 82 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,438 - That's incredibly exciting. - Yeah. 83 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,750 I never got any results before. 84 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,319 I didn't do my GCSEs 85 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,311 'cause Dad took us on holiday to Southampton. 86 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,755 All right. It's a cool city. Yeah. 87 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,194 How do you think you're gonna do? 88 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,832 - I would like to get AA 100% excellent. - Oh, yeah. 89 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,515 - Yeah, yeah. - I wouldn't mind BBB silver medal. 90 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,113 - Hmm. - Mmm. 91 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,556 But I don't wanna get DDF, crap medal. 92 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,436 Look, if Stath can't make it, I'd happily take you. 93 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,113 No. He is coming. 94 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,719 Do you keep running ahead of me 'cause I stink? 95 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,790 It's such a shame 96 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,075 I wasn't allowed to have a shower at yours. 97 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,037 You don't have to shower every day. It's a waste of time. 98 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,519 What do you do to wash? 99 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,590 Stand-up wash 100 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,399 or hairspray my body and just let it crisp. 101 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,039 - Right... -(COUGHS) I'm gonna... 102 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,554 Oh. 103 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,756 Right, OK. I'm going in. 104 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,478 You wait out here, OK, so that we're staggered. 105 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,676 I don't want them to see us, like, going in together. 106 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,319 Look, last night it was giggles. 107 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,279 But for me, it's like, there's work and then there's play. 108 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,431 - Do you know what I mean? - I do know what you mean, yeah. 109 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,113 So, yeah, you got it, chick. 110 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,590 Oh, I forgot to ask. 111 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,796 Did we use protection last night? Condoms? 112 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,030 Yeah, why? 113 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,394 Argh. Nothing. 114 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,989 #Come overmyplace tonight 115 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,878 #Igotthered wine on ice 116 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,873 #I'mgonna treatyounice # 117 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,519 Is that you getting hyped for work? 118 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,999 - Yeah. - What are you doing out here? 119 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,593 Yeah, I had sex with Carole last night, 120 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,875 so I'm waiting out here 121 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,713 'cause we're not keeping it in the workplace. 122 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,029 Shut up! 123 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,034 Why? 124 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,872 He's been there four weeks? (TUTS) 125 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,678 I'll go in and whack him out. 126 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,990 AL: Oh, no, you can't strike them, even if they strike you. 127 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,070 It's tenancy law. 128 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,151 I was actually struck by one, repeatedly. 129 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,958 I had to just let it happen. 130 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,599 It's PC gone M. 131 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,510 Oh. I'll go and ask Vas what to do. 132 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,398 I've been callin' and callin', where have you been? 133 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,629 What you been callin' me about? 134 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,677 - College, for my results? - Oh, is that today? 135 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,080 You're gonna get 100 As, innit! 136 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,071 That's howyou get a kebab from your brother. 137 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,310 Right, well, the email said they're serving bubbly till 12:00, 138 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,630 -so we have to go. - All right, let's go. What's bubbly? 139 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,836 - I dunno, chocolates? - Yeah. 140 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,399 - What? - Marcus don't believe me. 141 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,470 Tell him. 142 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,552 Oh! Right, yeah, go start the car, I'll be out in a second. Let's go. 143 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,358 - Can I have the keys? - No. Are you mad? 144 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,158 Come on. Al, come in the kitchen. 145 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,596 STATH: I just rocked her world. 146 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,069 Sorry, but that's the truth of the situation. 147 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,673 At one point, yeah, I was stood 148 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,513 just with my hands over on, like, she's got like a desk. 149 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,034 I'm over like that just for ages, 150 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,758 waiting and waiting and waiting. 151 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,559 And then, we just went back to her room and had sex. 152 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,472 How did it feel, out of 100? 153 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,473 Oh, God! Is there such number as 200? 154 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,198 -(LAUGHS) - Yeah. 155 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,509 I'm just so happy for you. 156 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,830 Thank you. Yeah, it feels... Thank you. 157 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,513 Bloody hell! That's nice, innit? 158 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,716 - Ah, it's great. - Him. Him! 159 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,199 What's Carole's saying about it? 160 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,396 Oh, last night? Well, she said quite a lot. 161 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,235 Serious, man. She like, did this thing with my, er, willy 162 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,358 where she was like rubbing it for ages. I was really, really loving it. 163 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,351 Such fun. Such fun, that. 164 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,070 At one point, we were just in bed and it was so quiet 165 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,231 'cause she kept telling me to shut up. 166 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,436 And I was, like, rolling around with excitement 167 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,955 'cause she was asleep and I was loving every second of it. 168 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,590 And then shejust woke up and said, "Get out!" 169 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,034 And it's mad as well 'cause, like, 170 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,238 obviously, I hated her and whatever, but last night when we were doin' it, 171 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,958 I was just lookin' at her and just, like, 172 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,997 "wife, wife, wife, wife." 173 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,832 Nah, man, you're brave. 174 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,991 I can't bring that side of me into the office. 175 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,878 I'm different with girls, though, innit? I'm trouble... 176 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,429 Oh, God. Yes, I am too. Trouble. 177 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,840 Are you trouble, Al? 178 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,479 Er, I don't think I am, actually. 179 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,279 Right, Al, come on. I need to go and deal with that guy. 180 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,919 Oh, I don't know, my hand is... 181 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,230 I don't need your manky hand. Just can you get his info? 182 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,913 What are you all chatting about? 183 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,798 No, I'm just tellin' them about us having... 184 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,234 We had sex last night. (CHUCKLES) 185 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,639 Yeah. 186 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,154 - Are you mad? - No. 187 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,277 Why do you think I told you to wait outside? 188 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,590 I thought we were doin' something weird. Are you annoyed? 189 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,752 - Oh, my crump, man! - Mucky. 190 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,478 - That's mucky. - It's very mucky. 191 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,630 Where's she going? 192 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,233 Cornelius Manor, the squatter. 193 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,789 On her own? Alastair! Think, man! 194 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,359 She got to go with a parkner! 195 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,431 Remember when I couldn't be bothered to come with you to the squatter? 196 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,194 What happened? He was bloody striking you all day, bless you! 197 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,429 Crumbs! 198 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,555 Parkner? 199 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,154 - Aren't you taking Sophie, though? - STATH: Yeah, I am, yeah. 200 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,317 Stath, I can't see your car anywhere, I've looked a day away, man. 201 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,549 - Where is it? - I didn't drive in. 202 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,710 Where's Carole, have you seen her? 203 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,598 She was in her car, swearing. 204 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,318 What about college? My results? 205 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,516 Can you make your own way? Kebab! 206 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,750 You all right? 207 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,911 Don't talk. Shh! 208 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,469 Oh, great, what are you stalking me? Great. 209 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,234 No, I came to say sorry for tellin' people the news. 210 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,391 I didn't know that it was a very special information to you. 211 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,471 Shh! (WHISPERS) 'Cause he's gonna hear! 212 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,073 - You have to go in with a parkner. - Shh! 213 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,198 You have to go in with a parkner if it's a squatter. 214 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,759 OK, what if he has a pole? 215 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,958 He could bash you with the pole, bless you. 216 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,919 I don't need help. I can look after myself, OK? 217 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,399 My brother tried to wrestle me once 218 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,915 and I kicked him in the head and now, he's tired all the time. 219 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,276 - What? - I need to get him out of there, OK? 220 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,555 And that's not gonna happen 221 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,870 if you go in raving around like a dog, is it? 222 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:45,950 OK! 223 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,758 If I manage to get him out, OK, 224 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,878 you lock the door behind him and then we will deal with him out here. 225 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:51,950 - Yeah? - Right. 226 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,030 - That's the plan. OK. - All right. 227 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,918 Thank you for letting me come on this. 228 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,310 - Brilliant, brilliant day. - That's fine. 229 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,629 -(KNOCKS ON DOOR) - Don't knock! 230 00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,790 Why are you knocking? 231 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,030 Because it's polite and you said I had to be calm. 232 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,269 Right, I'm just gonna... 233 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,680 - No, you fucking don't! - Oh, shit! 234 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,592 - How are you swearing at my Carole, man? - We're from Michael & Eagle lettings. 235 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,479 - Are you mad? I'll biff you out. - We just want to come in and chat. 236 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,439 Get your body off the door or I'm gonna take it to the church, 237 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,840 to the graves part! 238 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,558 What are you doing? 239 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,632 Crumbing hell! It stinks in here. 240 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,269 Oh, God! 241 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,430 Oh, crap! 242 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,319 Sorry, sorry. I just got scared by the doors. 243 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,357 Sorry, sorry. Need any help with... 244 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,590 OK, fine... Right. 245 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,635 Jesus Christ! 246 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,435 Is Stath with you? 247 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,717 Er, no, no. He got caught up in some nasty... 248 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,552 Nasty shit, man. 249 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,119 Er, so, yeah. 250 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,998 - I thought I might come instead? - KATIA: There's my girl! 251 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,593 Oh, Katia. 252 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,231 - What did you get? - Guess! Guess! 253 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,390 CCF! 254 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,278 Oh, my God. I'd never have guessed that. 255 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,714 That is what you wanted, though, innit? 256 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,950 Er, not F, but whatever. 257 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,999 I said to teacher CCF is like, "Cool, cool and fuck it, man". 258 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,753 - Oh. - What did you get? 259 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,877 Oh, my God. Three As times a million? 260 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,633 Well done, girl, you earned it. 261 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,360 No. I wish. I haven't even opened it yet. 262 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,114 I was just gonna open it now. 263 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,998 Good luck, I'm sure it'll be... 264 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,514 - Terrifico. - Oh. (CHUCKLES) 265 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,749 Is Stath here? 266 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,433 - No, no, he isn't. - I don't care. 267 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,560 - What did you get? - I don't know. 268 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,154 It's just a lot of writing. There're no ticks or scores. 269 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,719 OK. Well, erm... 270 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,918 OK, it looks like there might be a clerical error. 271 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,638 It says you haven't handed in any coursework. 272 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,710 The writing? 273 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,837 No, I think that was like a option. 274 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,673 Like, if you wanted to do the writing you could or... 275 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,273 - You didn't do it? - No. 276 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,953 I just did the dancing. 277 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,471 Oh, my God, did I fail? 278 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,350 Don't worry, 279 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,000 you can still live life, dance life. 280 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,835 You are legally required to give me fair warning 281 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,480 before you let yourself in that door, OK? 282 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,756 You know what, totally agree with you, 110. 283 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,558 Also, lovely to talk to you face-to-face, innit? 284 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,789 Without this thing in the way! 285 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,110 That was like something out of Blind Date that, wasn't it? 286 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,713 Also I'm really sorry about him. 287 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,790 - Sorry about me? - You should be. 288 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,872 Are you mad? He was blockin' the door, girl! 289 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:18,950 And by the way, 290 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,236 it's illegal for your flat to stink so dreadfully. 291 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,799 - Why do you even want to squat here? - Right, well, if you... 292 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:23,870 What are you doing? 293 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,076 - I want that noted, kicked! - OK, brainwave. 294 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,673 Why don't we pop to the cafe around the corner 295 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,909 for a giggle and a biscuit. 296 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,752 Let the flat air out a little bit? What do you think? 297 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,194 I don't wanna go to a cafe. 298 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,679 I don't want a giggle and a biscuit. 299 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,991 All that needs saying is that we had an agreed rate for this flat. 300 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,195 And it has doubled. 301 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,634 And now I'm confronted with a madman 302 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,074 -letting himself in, unannounced... - What the hell? 303 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,480 Kicking my cupboards! 304 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,789 STATH: What the hell are you talking about? 305 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,553 Get out the flat, you smelly boy! 306 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,950 - Smelly boy? - No, it's rude, isn't it? 307 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,600 No, that's not how we do things, is it Mr Roon? 308 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,318 - Is it Roon or Rone? - Roon! 309 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,390 Room? 310 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,039 That should be my surname, shouldn't it? Room? 311 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,270 I'm the one letting flats, for goodness' sake, 312 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,158 -with rooms! - Coo, that's funny. 313 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,389 I don't think that's funny. 314 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,629 - Shut it! Shut the door! - Oh, yeah, yeah. 315 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,040 - Right, yeah. - What's he doing? 316 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,030 It's the stink of the century! 317 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,997 I'm still in the flat. Can I come out? 318 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,272 (SNIFFLES) I didn't get nothing, not even a score. 319 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,671 I never have anything to tell anyone about. 320 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,274 (SNIFFLES) I wanted to get CCC, 321 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,638 so I can go on Britain's Got Talent and Royal Variety. 322 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,950 (SOBS AND SNIFFLES) 323 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,316 Stath doesn't even give a shit. 324 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,960 He's not even gonna take me kebabs. 325 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,030 Oh, erm... 326 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,519 (SNIFFLING) 327 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,193 What is it, chicken? 328 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,270 Yeah... 329 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,393 Actually, I don't know what it is. 330 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,834 Everyone was speaking Greek. 331 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,991 I think it might be something to do with a haddock or... 332 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,070 Yuck. 333 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,912 We could go and get another one. 334 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,513 - OK. (CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) 335 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:52,830 Yeah. 336 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,670 STATH: All right, it really stinks in here. Can I come out? 337 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,433 Stath, can you just wait in there a minute, please? 338 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,669 'Cause I'm getting somewhere here. 339 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,875 Look, Mr Roon. 340 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:00,995 I'm prepared to show you 341 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,400 some other properties within your price range. 342 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,470 Shove 'em up your arse. 343 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,597 All right, I swear to God I'm gonna punch you in the tongue. 344 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,956 No, no, I meant to close it behind... Don't... 345 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,873 Oh, my God! Do you know what? It's a relief, the smell in there... 346 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,519 - I told you to wait in there. - I could hear the smell. 347 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,352 I told you... Give me my keys. 348 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,590 Just give me the keys, I have to go back in now. 349 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,909 Wha... Key... I am... 350 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,279 I left the keys on the floor in there. 351 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,239 No, don't put your head and hands on the wall. 352 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,711 Why do you keep acting like this? 353 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,394 Being rude to me? Like we're nothing? 354 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,677 What is wrong with you? Why are you even here? 355 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,354 We flippin' burned last night, man! 356 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,114 We were on flame! Together! 357 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,554 I was like... 358 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,359 "This is it, this is real. That's my lady for life." 359 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,595 I wanna watch you, forever. 360 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:47,670 OK? 361 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,594 If anyone gets in the way of my eyes, I'm gonna, "move please." 362 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,638 I know you and you felt that way, too, as well. 363 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,710 OK, let's just... 364 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,030 Let's just chill a little bit, mate. 365 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,110 Erm... 366 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,315 Oh, look, you know, 367 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,879 yeah, last night, it was... 368 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,439 Yeah, it was interesting. 369 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,794 I'm not gonna deny that. 370 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,394 But, look, my head'sjust 371 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,754 kinda like... 372 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,751 You know, and... 373 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,194 Look, you know, I think you're like... 374 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,034 Thick... 375 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,031 And it's just quite hard to, sort of, 376 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,509 separate myself from that. 377 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,590 So... 378 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,069 Look, I think it's best that you just, well, 379 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,071 just stay away from me, erm... 380 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,436 for the foreseeable future, I think. 381 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,031 Well, good luck getting me back, innit? 382 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,836 Seems like a such a shame not letting you do 383 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,955 what you do. 384 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,553 You've got this incredible spark. 385 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,877 Your contribution to the arts in the UK could be so huge. 386 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,269 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 387 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,874 But it's OK if nothing happens. 388 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:00,995 That's just normal, innit. 389 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,718 (MOBILE RINGING) 390 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,353 Do you want kebab? 391 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,317 Yeah, I ordered lamb chichi. 392 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,676 - I think it should be here. - Lamb shish? Let me check. 393 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,879 Stagi, man, it's done! 394 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,270 It's not gonna bejuicy if you leave it on the hot. 395 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,998 (SPEAKING GREEK) 396 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,719 You want garlic sauce, chilli sauce? 397 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,790 Er, yeah. 398 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,518 Just as much chilli sauce as you can. 399 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,515 You like it spicy, innit? 400 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,477 Yeah, I've got a slightly numb tongue. 401 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,471 It was only when I went toJapan 402 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,154 and discovered wasabi that I could actually taste anything. 403 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,674 So, I'm a late taster. 404 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,320 - I'm late to the taste game. -(MOBILE RINGS) 405 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,152 You already got a kebab? 406 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,355 I come here to meet you, man! 407 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,589 I'm sorry, I've got to get this. 408 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,479 Al, today's been... 409 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,198 Charming. 410 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,634 Well, I'm not getting you another one. 411 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,710 Girls, man! 412 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,791 Always "Take, take, take", "shoulda, woulda, coulda!" 413 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,553 I was hungry from getting my results. 414 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,039 You already got your results? 415 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,350 I was well lookin' forward to that. We could have gone tomorrow. 416 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,590 No, we couldn't go tomorrow. It was only today. 417 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,115 - I told you that. - As if! 418 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,760 I'm family! So selfish, man! 419 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,797 I've had a very painful day. 420 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,312 Are you havin' a joke? 421 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,916 How am I the selfish one? That's you! 422 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,469 You never done one nice thing for me, never. 423 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,872 Not in 2016, 2015, 2014. 424 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,270 You just go 'round with me, shouting at me all day 425 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,636 and just make me clean your earring. 426 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,111 And you know what, yeah, you don't even know this, yeah, 427 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,395 but you always ask me 428 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,994 if I think you're an idiot and I say no. 429 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,318 But I do think you're an idiot. 430 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:38,550 Wow. 431 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,598 (CLEARS THROAT) OK... 432 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,470 I've thought about all that deep... 433 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,676 That down stuff you said earlier... 434 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,719 (CLEARS THROAT) I've had time to think about it. 435 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,314 - No, it's OK. - Let me speak, Sophie! 436 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,192 All those things you said about me, yeah, 437 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,351 are totally wrong. I'm not like that. 438 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,760 - Oh, my God, man. - I'm not! 439 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,399 You said I'm never nice to you. 440 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,471 The other day I gave you directions to the bus stop. 441 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,789 I wanted you to give me a lift. 442 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,234 It was pissing down with rain! 443 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,072 I'm saying... 444 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,913 I'm not sorry, but... 445 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,594 It crushes me up inside to think that I'm upset you. 446 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,160 'Cause you're like my best friend in my life! 447 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,915 Like, the girl of my bloody dreams, man. 448 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,035 But I'm just saying... 449 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,235 You got, er, good college results scores? 450 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,510 - I failed at it. - Ah, crumbs. 451 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,958 You sad about that then, yeah? 452 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,758 - Sorry. - Yeah. 453 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,231 I wanted to get a CCC at least, so I could get a job on telly. 454 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,399 It's OK, though. Al was very supportive to me. 455 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,518 Oh, God. I love that boy. Christ. 456 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,349 Why'd you wanna get bloody CCC anyway? 457 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,999 You could get anyjob you bloody want. 458 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,471 You could do anything. A song, a acting, a joke. 459 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,836 You got the best comedy in London, man. 460 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,910 You could do... 461 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,832 You could crack up the whole of Wembley, 462 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,149 you know what I mean? 463 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,550 Come on, tell me onejoke now, I swear to God I'll laugh. 464 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,358 Nah, I haven't got a joke. I just had two kebabs. 465 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,351 Onejoke now, come on. 466 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,919 OK, actually... 467 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,355 - I came up with this one the other day. - OK. 468 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,478 - So, you know mirrors, yeah? - Very well, yeah. 469 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,712 - So, imagine there was one on the floor. - Yeah. 470 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,632 Then anyone who trod on it, 471 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,030 is gonna look down and see up their own knickers. 472 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,110 (LAUGHS) 473 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,235 Oh, my days, man! 474 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,039 That is treacherous, Sophie! What an image! 475 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,396 To think of something... I couldn't think of something like that. 476 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,394 Right, OK, look, you've earned a kebab. 477 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,834 I'm getting you a treat, come on. 478 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,150 No, I already had two kebabs and dolmades, I told you. 479 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,311 Well, I don't know what else to get you, do I? 480 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,839 Wait, hang on. Did you bring your swimming knickers with you? 481 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,274 (DUCKS QUACKING) 482 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,397 Aren't they supposed to give us like a stick or something? 483 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:03,510 Yeah, that's what I thought. 484 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,035 - Ones you push the water with. - Actually, yeah. 485 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,996 Don't put your hands in the water. There's ants in there. 486 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,035 I always imagined Al on a thing like this. 487 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:16,713 - Like, luxury style. - Yeah. 488 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,916 Relaxed out. (LAUGHS) 489 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,355 - I always think of Al as luxury. - Very much. 490 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,114 - The way he speaks is so cool. - Yeah. 491 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,635 Like, "Hello, everyone. I'm Al". 492 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,791 Yeah, I mean, for me, he's like the top person in London. 493 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,030 - We're very lucky to know him. - Mmm-hmm. 494 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,838 I love him. 495 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,752 You fancy Al, innit? 496 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,354 Nah, I clocked you. I got you! (LAUGHS) 497 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,760 You fancy him. 498 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,672 No, it's all right, I'm not... 499 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,398 It's OK to fancy someone. 500 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,915 Look, I actually fancied Carole earlier, 501 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,752 but only 'cause it's polite to fancy someone 502 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,114 if you have sex with them. 503 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,554 Who had sex? 504 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,039 Me and Carole, last night. 505 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,440 Why didn't you tell me? 506 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,955 Oh, my God, man! That is a lovely gossip! 507 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,111 Don't! It's dangerous on the ship! 508 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,520 (WHISTLES) 509 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,153 BOTH: #Don'ttake themick 510 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,839 #Justgiverespect 511 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,150 #And one dayyou'llbe 512 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,516 # TheKing oflovein the club # 513 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,393 I'll meet you inside, yeah? 514 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,949 I think I know what I have to say to her. 515 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,997 Mmm, yeah. Oh, my God! 516 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,037 So, are you gonna have sex with her again? 517 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,509 I hope not. (CHUCKLES) 518 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,159 See you in there. 519 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,992 Tricky, OK. 520 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,074 Carole, it's Stath. 521 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,480 Yeah, you know that. Erm... 522 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,712 I've had some very needed space. 523 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,231 - I think I know what we need to do. - Yeah, it's not gonna happen. 524 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,630 I think I just lost my head or something. 525 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,994 Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. 526 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,718 - It might happen, though... - No. 527 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,199 - Charming. -(CAR ENGINE STARTS) 528 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,270 And that... 529 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,838 Sophie, I'm tired, man. I'm going home. 530 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:00,910 Tired? 531 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,990 I passed you in my car, 532 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,354 you were just walking around drinking water. 533 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,351 Do you wanna come with me? We can have crisps in the living room. 534 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,078 Stath, this is Tomoko. 535 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,552 She come as a surprise for Al... 536 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,675 You a customer? 537 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,112 No, this is my girlfriend, Tomoko. 538 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:20,995 Oh. You OK, Sophie? 539 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,070 Don't say that. 540 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,470 You... 541 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,397 Are you nice? 542 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,911 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 39689

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