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1
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,309
Go away!
2
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,794
Don't scream near me.
3
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,473
- Witch!
- Tosser!
4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,991
I think you're fantastic.
5
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,959
- Tomoko says I remind her of Mr Bean...
- Shut up about your girlfriend.
6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,190
I have this daydream about you,
all the time.
7
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,396
Where I push you
really hard into a spike.
8
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,757
And you burst. It's heaven.
9
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,079
I'm kissin' Carole.
10
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,637
- Oh.
- Oh, I thought we were gonna kiss
11
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,472
as we come through the door?
I suggested it.
12
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,039
Stop.
13
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,269
Yes.
14
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,634
(CAROLE MOANS)
15
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,040
- Thank you, Carole.
- Thank you.
16
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,235
What are you thinking about?
17
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,833
- Hm. This.
- Huh?
18
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,116
This, what's happening. (MOANS)
19
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,191
(STATH TUTTING)
20
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,712
Why are you tutting for?
Sounds like you're eating.
21
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,995
Nah, I'm enjoying it.
22
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,195
- Mate?
-(GRUNTS)
23
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,953
- Mate.
- (MOANS)
24
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,633
Mate. (SNORTS)
25
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:02,710
Mate.
26
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,035
(WHISPERS) Carole.
27
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,430
Carole.
28
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,790
Car.
29
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,950
Car, babe.
30
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:17,590
Car.
31
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,630
Carole, babe.
32
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:24,510
Carole!
33
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,590
Mmm?
34
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,909
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
35
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,230
Mmm.
36
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,435
What about last night?
37
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:32,430
Really good.
38
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,670
Oh, my God. My mouth is so dry.
39
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,598
I think I had a milk shake here.
40
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,796
In there. (GRUNTS)
41
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,111
Carole, I noticed
that I put my t-shirt on the radiator
42
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,476
in the madness of it all, last night,
can you believe it?
43
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,550
-(CHUCKLES)
- Hm.
44
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,670
Is that refreshing?
45
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:51,795
Hm.
46
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,911
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
47
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,474
(ENGINE REVS)
48
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:15,910
Sorry.
49
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,719
- I swear we've never even...
- I don't...
50
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,518
- Walked together before.
- I don't know.
51
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,033
Look at those little...
52
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,430
What are those things called?
They're like little ships, innit?
53
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,796
- Yeah.
- They're so cute. Do you like them?
54
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,915
They're called pedalos, yeah.
55
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,832
Yeah, they're a laugh, actually.
They're all right.
56
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,877
Right. See, I didn't even know
that you liked them.
57
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,031
- I... Yeah.
- I don't know anything about you.
58
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,394
You've been keeping stuff from me.
59
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,596
- When's your... When's your birthday?
- What?
60
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,036
Oh, erm, it's May the 1st.
61
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,238
Oh! July 26th!
62
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,994
That's my birthday, we should do
like ajoint thing like a...
63
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,753
- I can't.
- Holiday... All right.
64
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,353
(PHONE RINGS)
65
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,430
(VOICEMAIL) It'sStath.
66
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,909
Ifyougotthemessage,
leave themessage.
67
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,479
- Unlessyou...
-(DEVICE BEEPS)
68
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,551
Stath, it's Sophie again
69
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,870
from... Your sister.
70
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,796
I need to get my results, man,
are you coming?
71
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,393
I haven't eaten 'cause you said
72
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,630
about getting me
a congratulations' kebab.
73
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,030
OK, thank you. Sorry, love you.
74
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,519
-(MOBILE BEEPS)
-(SNORING)
75
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,194
Everyone's late, today, after the party.
76
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,998
Bloody slackers. (CHUCKLES)
77
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,876
Nah, they're OK.
I shouldn't have said that, sorry.
78
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,792
Cruel of me. (CLEARS THROAT)
79
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,678
What were you saying about some results?
80
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,832
I'm going to college
to get my results for my course.
81
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,560
Oh! Wow-aroo!
82
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,438
- That's incredibly exciting.
- Yeah.
83
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,750
I never got any results before.
84
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,319
I didn't do my GCSEs
85
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,311
'cause Dad took us on holiday
to Southampton.
86
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,755
All right. It's a cool city. Yeah.
87
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,194
How do you think you're gonna do?
88
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,832
- I would like to get AA 100% excellent.
- Oh, yeah.
89
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,515
- Yeah, yeah.
- I wouldn't mind BBB silver medal.
90
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,113
- Hmm.
- Mmm.
91
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,556
But I don't wanna get DDF, crap medal.
92
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,436
Look, if Stath can't make it,
I'd happily take you.
93
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,113
No. He is coming.
94
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,719
Do you keep running
ahead of me 'cause I stink?
95
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,790
It's such a shame
96
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,075
I wasn't allowed
to have a shower at yours.
97
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,037
You don't have to shower every day.
It's a waste of time.
98
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,519
What do you do to wash?
99
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,590
Stand-up wash
100
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,399
or hairspray my body
and just let it crisp.
101
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,039
- Right...
-(COUGHS) I'm gonna...
102
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,554
Oh.
103
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,756
Right, OK. I'm going in.
104
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,478
You wait out here, OK,
so that we're staggered.
105
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,676
I don't want them to see us,
like, going in together.
106
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,319
Look, last night it was giggles.
107
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,279
But for me, it's like,
there's work and then there's play.
108
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,431
- Do you know what I mean?
- I do know what you mean, yeah.
109
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,113
So, yeah, you got it, chick.
110
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,590
Oh, I forgot to ask.
111
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,796
Did we use protection last night?
Condoms?
112
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,030
Yeah, why?
113
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,394
Argh. Nothing.
114
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,989
#Come overmyplace tonight
115
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,878
#Igotthered wine on ice
116
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,873
#I'mgonna treatyounice #
117
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,519
Is that you getting hyped for work?
118
00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,999
- Yeah.
- What are you doing out here?
119
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,593
Yeah, I had sex with Carole last night,
120
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,875
so I'm waiting out here
121
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,713
'cause we're not keeping it
in the workplace.
122
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,029
Shut up!
123
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,034
Why?
124
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,872
He's been there four weeks? (TUTS)
125
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,678
I'll go in and whack him out.
126
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,990
AL: Oh, no, you can't strike them,
even if they strike you.
127
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,070
It's tenancy law.
128
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,151
I was actually struck by one,
repeatedly.
129
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,958
I had to just let it happen.
130
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,599
It's PC gone M.
131
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,510
Oh. I'll go and ask Vas what to do.
132
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,398
I've been callin' and callin',
where have you been?
133
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,629
What you been callin' me about?
134
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,677
- College, for my results?
- Oh, is that today?
135
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,080
You're gonna get 100 As, innit!
136
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,071
That's howyou get a kebab
from your brother.
137
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,310
Right, well, the email said
they're serving bubbly till 12:00,
138
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,630
-so we have to go.
- All right, let's go. What's bubbly?
139
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,836
- I dunno, chocolates?
- Yeah.
140
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,399
- What?
- Marcus don't believe me.
141
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,470
Tell him.
142
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,552
Oh! Right, yeah, go start the car,
I'll be out in a second. Let's go.
143
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,358
- Can I have the keys?
- No. Are you mad?
144
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,158
Come on. Al, come in the kitchen.
145
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,596
STATH: I just rocked her world.
146
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,069
Sorry, but that's the truth
of the situation.
147
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,673
At one point, yeah, I was stood
148
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,513
just with my hands over on,
like, she's got like a desk.
149
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,034
I'm over like that just for ages,
150
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,758
waiting and waiting and waiting.
151
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,559
And then, we just went back to her room
and had sex.
152
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,472
How did it feel, out of 100?
153
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,473
Oh, God! Is there such number as 200?
154
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,198
-(LAUGHS)
- Yeah.
155
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,509
I'm just so happy for you.
156
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,830
Thank you. Yeah, it feels... Thank you.
157
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,513
Bloody hell! That's nice, innit?
158
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,716
- Ah, it's great.
- Him. Him!
159
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,199
What's Carole's saying about it?
160
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,396
Oh, last night?
Well, she said quite a lot.
161
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,235
Serious, man. She like,
did this thing with my, er, willy
162
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,358
where she was like rubbing it for ages.
I was really, really loving it.
163
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,351
Such fun. Such fun, that.
164
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,070
At one point,
we were just in bed and it was so quiet
165
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,231
'cause she kept telling me to shut up.
166
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,436
And I was, like, rolling around
with excitement
167
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,955
'cause she was asleep
and I was loving every second of it.
168
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,590
And then shejust woke up
and said, "Get out!"
169
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,034
And it's mad as well 'cause, like,
170
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,238
obviously, I hated her and whatever,
but last night when we were doin' it,
171
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,958
I was just lookin'
at her and just, like,
172
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,997
"wife, wife, wife, wife."
173
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,832
Nah, man, you're brave.
174
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,991
I can't bring that side of me
into the office.
175
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,878
I'm different with girls, though, innit?
I'm trouble...
176
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,429
Oh, God. Yes, I am too. Trouble.
177
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,840
Are you trouble, Al?
178
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,479
Er, I don't think I am, actually.
179
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,279
Right, Al, come on.
I need to go and deal with that guy.
180
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,919
Oh, I don't know, my hand is...
181
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,230
I don't need your manky hand.
Just can you get his info?
182
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,913
What are you all chatting about?
183
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,798
No, I'm just tellin' them
about us having...
184
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,234
We had sex last night. (CHUCKLES)
185
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,639
Yeah.
186
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,154
- Are you mad?
- No.
187
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,277
Why do you think
I told you to wait outside?
188
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,590
I thought we were doin' something weird.
Are you annoyed?
189
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,752
- Oh, my crump, man!
- Mucky.
190
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,478
- That's mucky.
- It's very mucky.
191
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,630
Where's she going?
192
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,233
Cornelius Manor, the squatter.
193
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,789
On her own? Alastair! Think, man!
194
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,359
She got to go with a parkner!
195
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,431
Remember when I couldn't be bothered
to come with you to the squatter?
196
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,194
What happened? He was bloody
striking you all day, bless you!
197
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,429
Crumbs!
198
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,555
Parkner?
199
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,154
- Aren't you taking Sophie, though?
- STATH: Yeah, I am, yeah.
200
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,317
Stath, I can't see your car anywhere,
I've looked a day away, man.
201
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,549
- Where is it?
- I didn't drive in.
202
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,710
Where's Carole, have you seen her?
203
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,598
She was in her car, swearing.
204
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,318
What about college? My results?
205
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,516
Can you make your own way?
Kebab!
206
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,750
You all right?
207
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,911
Don't talk. Shh!
208
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,469
Oh, great,
what are you stalking me? Great.
209
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,234
No, I came to say sorry
for tellin' people the news.
210
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,391
I didn't know that it was
a very special information to you.
211
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,471
Shh! (WHISPERS) 'Cause he's gonna hear!
212
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,073
- You have to go in with a parkner.
- Shh!
213
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,198
You have to go in with a parkner
if it's a squatter.
214
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,759
OK, what if he has a pole?
215
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,958
He could bash you with the pole,
bless you.
216
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,919
I don't need help.
I can look after myself, OK?
217
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,399
My brother tried to wrestle me once
218
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,915
and I kicked him in the head
and now, he's tired all the time.
219
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,276
- What?
- I need to get him out of there, OK?
220
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,555
And that's not gonna happen
221
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,870
if you go in raving around
like a dog, is it?
222
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:45,950
OK!
223
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,758
If I manage to get him out, OK,
224
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,878
you lock the door behind him
and then we will deal with him out here.
225
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:51,950
- Yeah?
- Right.
226
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,030
- That's the plan. OK.
- All right.
227
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,918
Thank you for letting me come on this.
228
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,310
- Brilliant, brilliant day.
- That's fine.
229
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,629
-(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- Don't knock!
230
00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,790
Why are you knocking?
231
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,030
Because it's polite
and you said I had to be calm.
232
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,269
Right, I'm just gonna...
233
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,680
- No, you fucking don't!
- Oh, shit!
234
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,592
- How are you swearing at my Carole, man?
- We're from Michael & Eagle lettings.
235
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,479
- Are you mad? I'll biff you out.
- We just want to come in and chat.
236
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,439
Get your body off the door
or I'm gonna take it to the church,
237
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,840
to the graves part!
238
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,558
What are you doing?
239
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,632
Crumbing hell! It stinks in here.
240
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,269
Oh, God!
241
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,430
Oh, crap!
242
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,319
Sorry, sorry.
I just got scared by the doors.
243
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,357
Sorry, sorry. Need any help with...
244
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,590
OK, fine... Right.
245
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,635
Jesus Christ!
246
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,435
Is Stath with you?
247
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,717
Er, no, no.
He got caught up in some nasty...
248
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,552
Nasty shit, man.
249
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,119
Er, so, yeah.
250
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,998
- I thought I might come instead?
- KATIA: There's my girl!
251
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,593
Oh, Katia.
252
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,231
- What did you get?
- Guess! Guess!
253
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,390
CCF!
254
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,278
Oh, my God. I'd never have guessed that.
255
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,714
That is what you wanted, though, innit?
256
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,950
Er, not F, but whatever.
257
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,999
I said to teacher CCF is like,
"Cool, cool and fuck it, man".
258
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,753
- Oh.
- What did you get?
259
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,877
Oh, my God. Three As times a million?
260
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,633
Well done, girl, you earned it.
261
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,360
No. I wish.
I haven't even opened it yet.
262
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,114
I was just gonna open it now.
263
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,998
Good luck, I'm sure it'll be...
264
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,514
- Terrifico.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES)
265
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,749
Is Stath here?
266
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,433
- No, no, he isn't.
- I don't care.
267
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,560
- What did you get?
- I don't know.
268
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,154
It's just a lot of writing.
There're no ticks or scores.
269
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,719
OK. Well, erm...
270
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,918
OK, it looks like
there might be a clerical error.
271
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,638
It says you haven't handed in
any coursework.
272
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,710
The writing?
273
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,837
No, I think that was like a option.
274
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,673
Like, if you wanted to
do the writing you could or...
275
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,273
- You didn't do it?
- No.
276
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,953
I just did the dancing.
277
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,471
Oh, my God, did I fail?
278
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,350
Don't worry,
279
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,000
you can still live life, dance life.
280
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,835
You are legally required
to give me fair warning
281
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,480
before you let yourself
in that door, OK?
282
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,756
You know what,
totally agree with you, 110.
283
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,558
Also, lovely to talk
to you face-to-face, innit?
284
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,789
Without this thing in the way!
285
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,110
That was like something
out of Blind Date that, wasn't it?
286
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,713
Also I'm really sorry about him.
287
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,790
- Sorry about me?
- You should be.
288
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,872
Are you mad?
He was blockin' the door, girl!
289
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:18,950
And by the way,
290
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,236
it's illegal for your flat
to stink so dreadfully.
291
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,799
- Why do you even want to squat here?
- Right, well, if you...
292
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:23,870
What are you doing?
293
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,076
- I want that noted, kicked!
- OK, brainwave.
294
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,673
Why don't we pop to the cafe
around the corner
295
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,909
for a giggle and a biscuit.
296
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,752
Let the flat air out a little bit?
What do you think?
297
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,194
I don't wanna go to a cafe.
298
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,679
I don't want a giggle and a biscuit.
299
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,991
All that needs saying is that
we had an agreed rate for this flat.
300
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,195
And it has doubled.
301
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,634
And now I'm confronted with a madman
302
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,074
-letting himself in, unannounced...
- What the hell?
303
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,480
Kicking my cupboards!
304
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,789
STATH: What the hell
are you talking about?
305
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,553
Get out the flat, you smelly boy!
306
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,950
- Smelly boy?
- No, it's rude, isn't it?
307
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,600
No, that's not how we do things,
is it Mr Roon?
308
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,318
- Is it Roon or Rone?
- Roon!
309
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,390
Room?
310
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,039
That should be my surname,
shouldn't it? Room?
311
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,270
I'm the one letting flats,
for goodness' sake,
312
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,158
-with rooms!
- Coo, that's funny.
313
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,389
I don't think that's funny.
314
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,629
- Shut it! Shut the door!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
315
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,040
- Right, yeah.
- What's he doing?
316
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,030
It's the stink of the century!
317
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,997
I'm still in the flat. Can I come out?
318
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,272
(SNIFFLES) I didn't get nothing,
not even a score.
319
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,671
I never have anything to tell
anyone about.
320
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,274
(SNIFFLES) I wanted to get CCC,
321
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,638
so I can go on Britain's Got Talent
and Royal Variety.
322
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,950
(SOBS AND SNIFFLES)
323
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,316
Stath doesn't even give a shit.
324
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,960
He's not even gonna take me kebabs.
325
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,030
Oh, erm...
326
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,519
(SNIFFLING)
327
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,193
What is it, chicken?
328
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,270
Yeah...
329
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,393
Actually, I don't know what it is.
330
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,834
Everyone was speaking Greek.
331
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,991
I think it might be
something to do with a haddock or...
332
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,070
Yuck.
333
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,912
We could go and get another one.
334
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,513
- OK. (CHUCKLES)
-(CHUCKLES)
335
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:52,830
Yeah.
336
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,670
STATH: All right, it really stinks
in here. Can I come out?
337
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,433
Stath, can you just
wait in there a minute, please?
338
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,669
'Cause I'm getting somewhere here.
339
00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,875
Look, Mr Roon.
340
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:00,995
I'm prepared to show you
341
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,400
some other properties
within your price range.
342
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,470
Shove 'em up your arse.
343
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,597
All right, I swear to God
I'm gonna punch you in the tongue.
344
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,956
No, no, I meant to close it behind...
Don't...
345
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,873
Oh, my God! Do you know what?
It's a relief, the smell in there...
346
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,519
- I told you to wait in there.
- I could hear the smell.
347
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,352
I told you... Give me my keys.
348
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,590
Just give me the keys,
I have to go back in now.
349
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,909
Wha... Key... I am...
350
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,279
I left the keys on the floor in there.
351
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,239
No, don't put your head
and hands on the wall.
352
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,711
Why do you keep acting like this?
353
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,394
Being rude to me? Like we're nothing?
354
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,677
What is wrong with you?
Why are you even here?
355
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,354
We flippin' burned last night, man!
356
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,114
We were on flame! Together!
357
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,554
I was like...
358
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,359
"This is it, this is real.
That's my lady for life."
359
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,595
I wanna watch you, forever.
360
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:47,670
OK?
361
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,594
If anyone gets in the way of my eyes,
I'm gonna, "move please."
362
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,638
I know you
and you felt that way, too, as well.
363
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,710
OK, let's just...
364
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,030
Let's just chill a little bit, mate.
365
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,110
Erm...
366
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,315
Oh, look, you know,
367
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,879
yeah, last night, it was...
368
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,439
Yeah, it was interesting.
369
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,794
I'm not gonna deny that.
370
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,394
But, look, my head'sjust
371
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,754
kinda like...
372
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,751
You know, and...
373
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,194
Look, you know, I think you're like...
374
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,034
Thick...
375
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,031
And it's just quite hard to, sort of,
376
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,509
separate myself from that.
377
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,590
So...
378
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,069
Look, I think it's best
that you just, well,
379
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,071
just stay away from me, erm...
380
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,436
for the foreseeable future, I think.
381
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,031
Well, good luck getting me back, innit?
382
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,836
Seems like a such a shame
not letting you do
383
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,955
what you do.
384
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,553
You've got this incredible spark.
385
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,877
Your contribution to the arts in the UK
could be so huge.
386
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,269
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
387
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,874
But it's OK if nothing happens.
388
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:00,995
That's just normal, innit.
389
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,718
(MOBILE RINGING)
390
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,353
Do you want kebab?
391
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,317
Yeah, I ordered lamb chichi.
392
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,676
- I think it should be here.
- Lamb shish? Let me check.
393
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,879
Stagi, man, it's done!
394
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,270
It's not gonna bejuicy
if you leave it on the hot.
395
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,998
(SPEAKING GREEK)
396
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,719
You want garlic sauce, chilli sauce?
397
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,790
Er, yeah.
398
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,518
Just as much chilli sauce as you can.
399
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,515
You like it spicy, innit?
400
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,477
Yeah, I've got a slightly numb tongue.
401
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,471
It was only when I went toJapan
402
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,154
and discovered wasabi
that I could actually taste anything.
403
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,674
So, I'm a late taster.
404
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,320
- I'm late to the taste game.
-(MOBILE RINGS)
405
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,152
You already got a kebab?
406
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,355
I come here to meet you, man!
407
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,589
I'm sorry, I've got to get this.
408
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,479
Al, today's been...
409
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,198
Charming.
410
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,634
Well, I'm not getting you another one.
411
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,710
Girls, man!
412
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,791
Always "Take, take, take",
"shoulda, woulda, coulda!"
413
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,553
I was hungry from getting my results.
414
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,039
You already got your results?
415
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,350
I was well lookin' forward to that.
We could have gone tomorrow.
416
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,590
No, we couldn't go tomorrow.
It was only today.
417
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,115
- I told you that.
- As if!
418
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,760
I'm family! So selfish, man!
419
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,797
I've had a very painful day.
420
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,312
Are you havin' a joke?
421
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,916
How am I the selfish one? That's you!
422
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,469
You never done
one nice thing for me, never.
423
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,872
Not in 2016, 2015, 2014.
424
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,270
You just go 'round with me,
shouting at me all day
425
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,636
and just make me clean your earring.
426
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,111
And you know what, yeah,
you don't even know this, yeah,
427
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,395
but you always ask me
428
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,994
if I think you're an idiot and I say no.
429
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,318
But I do think you're an idiot.
430
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:38,550
Wow.
431
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,598
(CLEARS THROAT) OK...
432
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,470
I've thought about all that deep...
433
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,676
That down stuff you said earlier...
434
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,719
(CLEARS THROAT)
I've had time to think about it.
435
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,314
- No, it's OK.
- Let me speak, Sophie!
436
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,192
All those things
you said about me, yeah,
437
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,351
are totally wrong. I'm not like that.
438
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,760
- Oh, my God, man.
- I'm not!
439
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,399
You said I'm never nice to you.
440
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,471
The other day
I gave you directions to the bus stop.
441
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,789
I wanted you to give me a lift.
442
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,234
It was pissing down with rain!
443
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,072
I'm saying...
444
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,913
I'm not sorry, but...
445
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,594
It crushes me up inside
to think that I'm upset you.
446
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,160
'Cause you're like
my best friend in my life!
447
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,915
Like, the girl of my bloody dreams, man.
448
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,035
But I'm just saying...
449
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,235
You got, er, good
college results scores?
450
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,510
- I failed at it.
- Ah, crumbs.
451
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,958
You sad about that then, yeah?
452
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,758
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
453
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,231
I wanted to get a CCC at least,
so I could get a job on telly.
454
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,399
It's OK, though.
Al was very supportive to me.
455
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,518
Oh, God. I love that boy. Christ.
456
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,349
Why'd you wanna get bloody CCC anyway?
457
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,999
You could get anyjob you bloody want.
458
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,471
You could do anything.
A song, a acting, a joke.
459
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,836
You got the best comedy in London, man.
460
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,910
You could do...
461
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,832
You could crack up the whole of Wembley,
462
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,149
you know what I mean?
463
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,550
Come on, tell me onejoke now,
I swear to God I'll laugh.
464
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,358
Nah, I haven't got a joke.
I just had two kebabs.
465
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,351
Onejoke now, come on.
466
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,919
OK, actually...
467
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,355
- I came up with this one the other day.
- OK.
468
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,478
- So, you know mirrors, yeah?
- Very well, yeah.
469
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,712
- So, imagine there was one on the floor.
- Yeah.
470
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,632
Then anyone who trod on it,
471
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,030
is gonna look down
and see up their own knickers.
472
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,110
(LAUGHS)
473
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,235
Oh, my days, man!
474
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,039
That is treacherous, Sophie!
What an image!
475
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,396
To think of something...
I couldn't think of something like that.
476
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,394
Right, OK,
look, you've earned a kebab.
477
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,834
I'm getting you a treat, come on.
478
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,150
No, I already had two kebabs
and dolmades, I told you.
479
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,311
Well, I don't know
what else to get you, do I?
480
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,839
Wait, hang on. Did you bring
your swimming knickers with you?
481
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,274
(DUCKS QUACKING)
482
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,397
Aren't they supposed to give us
like a stick or something?
483
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:03,510
Yeah, that's what I thought.
484
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,035
- Ones you push the water with.
- Actually, yeah.
485
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,996
Don't put your hands in the water.
There's ants in there.
486
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,035
I always imagined
Al on a thing like this.
487
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:16,713
- Like, luxury style.
- Yeah.
488
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,916
Relaxed out. (LAUGHS)
489
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,355
- I always think of Al as luxury.
- Very much.
490
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,114
- The way he speaks is so cool.
- Yeah.
491
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,635
Like, "Hello, everyone. I'm Al".
492
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,791
Yeah, I mean, for me,
he's like the top person in London.
493
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,030
- We're very lucky to know him.
- Mmm-hmm.
494
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,838
I love him.
495
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,752
You fancy Al, innit?
496
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,354
Nah, I clocked you. I got you! (LAUGHS)
497
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,760
You fancy him.
498
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,672
No, it's all right, I'm not...
499
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,398
It's OK to fancy someone.
500
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,915
Look, I actually fancied Carole earlier,
501
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,752
but only 'cause it's polite
to fancy someone
502
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,114
if you have sex with them.
503
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,554
Who had sex?
504
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,039
Me and Carole, last night.
505
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,440
Why didn't you tell me?
506
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,955
Oh, my God, man!
That is a lovely gossip!
507
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,111
Don't! It's dangerous on the ship!
508
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,520
(WHISTLES)
509
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,153
BOTH: #Don'ttake themick
510
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,839
#Justgiverespect
511
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,150
#And one dayyou'llbe
512
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,516
# TheKing oflovein the club #
513
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,393
I'll meet you inside, yeah?
514
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,949
I think I know
what I have to say to her.
515
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,997
Mmm, yeah. Oh, my God!
516
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,037
So, are you gonna have sex
with her again?
517
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,509
I hope not. (CHUCKLES)
518
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,159
See you in there.
519
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,992
Tricky, OK.
520
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,074
Carole, it's Stath.
521
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,480
Yeah, you know that. Erm...
522
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,712
I've had some very needed space.
523
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,231
- I think I know what we need to do.
- Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
524
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,630
I think I just lost my head
or something.
525
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,994
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
526
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,718
- It might happen, though...
- No.
527
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,199
- Charming.
-(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
528
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,270
And that...
529
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,838
Sophie, I'm tired, man. I'm going home.
530
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:00,910
Tired?
531
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,990
I passed you in my car,
532
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,354
you were just walking around
drinking water.
533
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,351
Do you wanna come with me?
We can have crisps in the living room.
534
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,078
Stath, this is Tomoko.
535
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,552
She come as a surprise for Al...
536
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,675
You a customer?
537
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,112
No, this is my girlfriend, Tomoko.
538
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:20,995
Oh. You OK, Sophie?
539
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,070
Don't say that.
540
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,470
You...
541
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,397
Are you nice?
542
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,911
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
39689
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