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SHALLE
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00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:09,079
Hello, and a very good morning to you.
It's BBC London, 94.9.
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00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,708
- It's me, Jo Good, and Paul Ross.
- May I say,
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00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,509
with the sun shining outside as
it plays across the beautiful buildings,
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00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,750
- you look gorgeous this morning.
- Thank you very much.
6
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,753
- You said a bit of sun.
- My favourite vista ever
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00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,356
is going over Waterloo Bridge.
You see Westminster, Big Ben,
8
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,193
you see the London Eye,
the South Bank.
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00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,477
The great thing is it's better to be on
Waterloo Bridge looking across the river
10
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,315
because Waterloo Bridge is the most
boring bridge apart from London Bridge.
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00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,711
But on Waterloo, you see good things.
Never stay at the Dorchester.
12
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,440
Stay at the cheap place next door
and look down on the Dorchester.
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00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,397
- You save money, get a better view.
- You're so right.
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00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,632
What a lovely city we live in.
Enough of our yakking...
15
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:55,199
Dear Wendy, Olive,
16
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,399
Rhona, Natalie and Gemma:
17
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,556
I hope you're all very happy.
18
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,712
Did that sound sarcastic?
It was meant to.
19
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,269
What you've collectively done to me...
20
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,839
What you've collectively
done to me is...
21
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,588
What you've collectively done to me
is quite an achievement.
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00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,196
Four years ago, I was happy to believe
in a very simple concept.
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00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,114
You might have heard of it.
It's called love.
24
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,590
But thanks to the five of you,
I now know that love is a lie,
25
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,398
a myth specifically concocted
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00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,155
to bring me as much pain
and misery as possible.
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00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,553
Wendy.
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00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,836
Were you ever really
that interested in me?
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00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,433
Or was I just understudying for Alex
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00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,751
while you and him
went though a dull patch?
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00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,399
Olive.
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00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,233
Almost everything I told you was a lie.
33
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,878
I'm sorry about that.
34
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,399
Rhona. Who did you think I was?
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00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,630
If I was that wrong for you,
you should have been
36
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,234
paying more attention at the start.
37
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,913
Natalie.
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00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,311
OK, so I got myself out of that one,
but did you really want me?
39
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,391
Orjust someone?
40
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,152
And Gemma.
41
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,395
What should I say to you?
42
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,120
I suppose I should forgive you.
43
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,078
This is a suicide note, after all.
44
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,277
OK, I forgive you.
45
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,073
But I don't want that
to make you feel any better.
46
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,718
I'm sure you'll all find someone.
47
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,475
You might even think you're in love.
But don't kid yourselves.
48
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,677
We're all just playing out scenes
we've seen in films.
49
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,515
The only difference is our stories
have depressing endings.
50
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,240
When real people
walk towards a sunset,
51
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,597
no music swells, no credits roll.
52
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,069
They just get to the end of the beach,
53
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,391
have a row and walk back to the car.
54
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,755
And that's depressing.
55
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,791
In fact, after reading this you might
feel your only option is to join me.
56
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,793
And that's the one thing
I wouldn't blame you for.
57
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,030
Bye, then.
58
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,792
Duncan.
59
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,718
Sorry, but I think my belt
is stuck under your...
60
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:27,192
Sorry. I thought this seat
felt a bit uncomfortable.
61
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,033
No, that's normal.
That's just economy.
62
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,948
Sorry, that's just what?
63
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,028
Economy. That's just being in...
64
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,636
- It doesn't matter, wasn't very funny.
- No, I get it.
65
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,077
Sorry. I'm a bit slow sometimes.
66
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,437
I'm only in economy because
my firm are such cheapskates.
67
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,751
- Me, too.
- Were you at Graphica?
68
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,471
- Sorry, what?
- At the expo.
69
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,472
You've got no idea
what I'm talking about.
70
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,437
Not really.
71
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,751
Sorry, you must think you've got
lumbered next to a right nutter.
72
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,878
- I promise I'll shut up now.
- No, no, not at all.
73
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,474
What is it? Graphic...?
74
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,154
Graphica. It's just a work thing.
75
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,232
And I just assumed that you were
coming back from it as well.
76
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,516
Which is, of course, ridiculous.
77
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,999
And a little bit arrogant.
78
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,720
I have this tendency to think other
people's lives revolve around mine
79
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,440
so I am gonna stop talking
and leave you in peace.
80
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,353
No, that's quite all right. It's OK.
81
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,590
No, I...
82
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,873
Of all the people I could have sat
next to, I sat next to Wendy.
83
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,789
I couldn't accept that meeting her
on that plane
84
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,076
had merely been a coincidence.
85
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,232
Had heavenly forces been subtly
shifting our movements
86
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,836
so that we would one day meet
on the Paris to London shuttle?
87
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,195
Or was it just down to chance?
88
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,476
- Johnny?
- Thanks, Duncan.
89
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,518
OK. Well, between Charles De Gaulle
and Heathrow Airport,
90
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,352
there are two national airlines.
91
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,080
And they were running that morning
six flights.
92
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,390
So the odds: one in six.
93
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,993
I'd actually planned to get
the 10.30 Air France flight.
94
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,391
But somehow, a bottle
of shampoo leaked in my bag,
95
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,710
wasting a valuable ten minutes.
96
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,440
By the time the hotel clerk
had produced my bill,
97
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,229
cleared my credit card and
I found a taxi, it was already 9. 15.
98
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,473
Then because of some ridiculous
roadworks on the Champs-�lys�es,
99
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,757
by the time I got to the airport,
my flight had finished boarding.
100
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,117
I couldn't be bothered waiting for the
next Air France, so I got the next BA.
101
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,192
- Would you like some lunch, madam?
- Yes, thank you.
102
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,157
- And you, sir?
- No. I don't...
103
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,276
- We have sandwiches if you'd like.
- I'm not really...
104
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,715
Go on. Take them.
I'll eat them. I'm starving.
105
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,031
- Thank you. Thanks.
- Thank you.
106
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,749
- Are you sure I'm not depriving you?
- No. Absolutely not.
107
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:51,955
Thank you.
108
00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,309
- I love airline food.
- Really? You must be the only one.
109
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:05,474
I don't know, it sort of...
It still seems like a treat somehow.
110
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,155
My mum used to have
one of these trays at home,
111
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,198
and anything I wouldn't eat,
she'd put in it
112
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,954
and pretend we were going on holiday.
113
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,429
- Did it work?
- Yeah. Every time.
114
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,273
It's kind of...
It's a bit silly, really.
115
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,796
No. Not really.
Not as silly as collecting sick bags.
116
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,635
Collecting what?
117
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,316
- No, it's nothing.
- No, do you collect sick bags?
118
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,755
Not anymore.
119
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,638
So how many have you got?
120
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,428
About a hundred?
121
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,955
Blimey! You must have travelled a lot!
122
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,157
It was my dad, mainly.
He'd collect them for me.
123
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,436
They were sort of like postcards.
He'd write little messages
124
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,831
and draw pictures on them.
They're like works of art.
125
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,797
- Sweet.
- Really?
126
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,678
Well, it did make me want to travel.
127
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,398
He'd write reviews
of the places he'd been.
128
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,232
I always wanted to know
if he was right.
129
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,960
So you're working your way
through the sick bags?
130
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,953
Sort of. I suppose I'm about halfway.
131
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,271
That's so great. I wish
I had a mission like that.
132
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,398
Something to devote myself to.
133
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,476
I'm Wendy, by the way.
134
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,632
For the next 33 minutes,
135
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,314
Wendy gave me her mini biography.
136
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,592
Wendy had been in Paris
attending a trade fair.
137
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,909
She worked as a graphic designer
for a fashion magazine in Soho.
138
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,394
She was born in Blackpool...
139
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,789
...but moved to Wiltshire as a child.
140
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,192
She did fine art at Camberwell...
141
00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,709
...and now lives alone
in a flat in Earl's Court.
142
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,910
The whole place
is falling apart, though.
143
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,072
I really shouldn't have bought it.
It needs so much doing to it.
144
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,869
But it was one of those rash decisions.
I have a tendency to do that.
145
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,793
Well, one of those
rash decisions became me.
146
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,076
Soon my life would be full of...
147
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,549
I need to see you now.
148
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,188
- ... and...
- You make me very happy.
149
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,989
Despite incredible odds,
we had found each other.
150
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,277
Didn't that prove that these things
weren't just down to chance?
151
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,752
That God is running some kind
of heavenly dating service?
152
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,592
Have you given up hope of ever
finding that special person?
153
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,149
Well, don't despair.
154
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,233
At Divine Dating, we have hundreds
of expertly trained staff
155
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,836
standing by to meet
your romantic requirements.
156
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,514
I never thought I'd find her.
I'd given up hope.
157
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,592
A friend introduced me to Divine Dating,
and I've never looked back.
158
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,876
Now, I just think of the future
for both of us.
159
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,917
The three of us, remember?
160
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,594
Oh, yes, the three of us!
161
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,193
Divine Dating.
162
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,432
'Cause one day,
the big fella will get round to you.
163
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,160
And that means you!
164
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,713
It has to be something like that
165
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,509
because otherwise people are just
meaninglessly bumping into each other.
166
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,033
Let me look.
I happen to be a doctor.
167
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,998
- It's very kind of you.
- I had to believe that Wendy and I
168
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,310
were meant to be together.
169
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,038
I mean, just look at the evidence.
170
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,997
We were both born at around midnight
171
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,709
in the same month
of an even-numbered year.
172
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,996
Both of us tried to learn the clarinet.
173
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,516
We were both in school productions
of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
174
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,389
We both have two large freckles
on a toe on our left feet,
175
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:55,028
and a cavity in the same rear molar.
176
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,839
And both of us
do this in bright sunlight.
177
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,356
We even own the same edition
of Anna Karenina.
178
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,711
I was convinced that I was always
destined to sit next to her
179
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,313
and not just any other girl.
180
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,948
I was meant to fall in love
with those eyes,
181
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,635
that way of combing her hair,
of biting her lower lip.
182
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,271
That despite odds of 0.313 per cent,
183
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:22,035
I was sure that I was put
on this earth to be with Wendy.
184
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,551
I love being with you.
I know that.
185
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,393
So, what's the problem?
186
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,028
It just wouldn't be fair on Alex.
187
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,918
I thought you said
that didn't matter anymore.
188
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,274
I know, but...
189
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,870
He should be devastated.
190
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,394
You're wonderful.
191
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,550
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
192
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,917
Stop! Don't, I can't.
193
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,518
It's gonna be painful
whatever happens.
194
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,830
The longer you leave it,
the worse it's gonna get.
195
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,831
- I know.
- You told me yourself
196
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,230
that you don't love him any more.
197
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,111
It's just that Alex has had so much
tragedy in his life this year.
198
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,556
- This'll just destroy him.
- But surely if you keep Iying to him,
199
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,790
it's only gonna make things worse.
200
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,153
I don't know
if I'm Iying to him, though.
201
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,798
What does that mean?
202
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,831
I don't know.
203
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,751
No. Come on, Wendy.
204
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,354
You either love him or you don't.
205
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,913
Yeah, I do love him.
206
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,153
Yes, but do you love him
more than me?
207
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,558
Wendy?
208
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,558
Wendy?
209
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,393
So how did this happen?
Where was...?
210
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,710
I need to see you now.
211
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,110
- And...
- You make me very happy.
212
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,033
Was this the same person that
on the sixth of December said...
213
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,191
Yeah, I'm sort of with this guy.
214
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:17,309
Sort of. But it's been pretty ropy
for quite some time now.
215
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,038
And two weeks later...
216
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,838
That's it. It's over.
217
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,831
It really is all over.
218
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,878
At what point did that become this?
219
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,237
- So you didn't tell him?
- Kind of.
220
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,789
It's kind of obvious.
221
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,871
He's not stupid.
222
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,553
When did the rot set in?
223
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,359
When did Alex start to seem
not that bad after all?
224
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,272
Was it the night
I described Wendy as...
225
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,238
- She's a bit dizzy.
- ... in front of her friends?
226
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,679
Was it my lack of enthusiasm
for this piece of contemporary dance?
227
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:49,989
Maybe I was too clingy.
228
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,878
- Hiya!
- Christ!
229
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,871
Or just too laid back.
230
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:58,158
Hey! Come on, it's starting!
231
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,275
Quick.
232
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,876
Or maybe I never really stood
any bloody chance in the first place.
233
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,630
Would you like some wine?
234
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,198
I don't mind. Do you?
235
00:17:58,360 --> 00:17:59,509
Whatever you want.
236
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,998
- Either way is fine by me.
- I agree.
237
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,672
So should we have it or not?
238
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,512
Well, I don't think I'll have any.
239
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,272
After five dates with Olive,
240
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,273
I still knew almost nothing about her.
241
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,158
What kind of books do you like?
242
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,598
I like James Joyce, Henry James,
John Kennedy Toole.
243
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,473
I developed new personalities.
244
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,677
- Do you like your job?
- I think all jobs are pretty crappy.
245
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,195
Personalities based
on what I thought
246
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,032
she might like.
247
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,111
What do you like to do
at the weekends?
248
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,158
I run Saturday mornings,
and I have to see some nature.
249
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,628
Right.
250
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,837
But I couldn't tell who she was.
One minute she'd say...
251
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,514
I think there's nothing wrong
with being emotionally vulnerable.
252
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,069
- And the next...
- People are such wimps.
253
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,959
Had she liked any of the places
we had been together?
254
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:59,511
Did she like me?
I had no idea what she wanted.
255
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,399
Do you think two people
should live solely for one another?
256
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,996
- In most cases.
- Was your childhood difficult?
257
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,594
In parts.
258
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:12,833
Have you ever been truly, truly in love?
259
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,117
It felt like it,
but I think I was deceiving myself.
260
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,158
- So, what's your favourite colour?
- Orange.
261
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,196
Dessert, madam?
262
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,314
What do you think,
the chocolate or caramel?
263
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,993
I just love chocolate, don't you?
264
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,470
I can't understand people
who don't like chocolate.
265
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,518
- That one, please.
- Sir?
266
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,436
Well, it's only
a mild chocolate allergy.
267
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,238
It shouldn't be too much of a problem.
268
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,960
You'll have to give him
something else for Easter.
269
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,437
Perfect.
270
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,036
Did Olive like me any more
because I lied?
271
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,760
I mean, why had I been
attracted to her?
272
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,953
Exactly.
273
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,908
It had nothing to do with her interest
in chocolate or James Joyce.
274
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,998
When I originally told Olive...
275
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,232
- It's all right. I'll drop you home.
- ... it wasn't loaded with significance.
276
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,516
- I better get off then.
- Yeah.
277
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,355
But with a quarter of a mile to go
before Six Liverpool Mews,
278
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,670
it seemed monumental.
279
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,517
At some point, one of us
would have to define the situation.
280
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,509
- But the risks were high.
- What are you doing?
281
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,593
Everything would change.
The end of hidden signs
282
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,911
- and coded speech.
- Have you ever been truly,
283
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,991
truly in love?
284
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,390
But how to go about it.
285
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,757
Maybe I should propose
the metaphorical cup of coffee.
286
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,035
Orjust leap straight in.
287
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:06,398
In the end, the double chocolate cake
made the decision for me.
288
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,719
It's one of the world's
most extreme rides, the Rhona-coaster.
289
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,757
Highest drops, the most loops.
290
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,956
It's supposed to represent the
two months you spent with Rhona.
291
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,873
Let me tell you, most people
feel sick when they get off.
292
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,751
Why are they in shoes?
293
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,078
As my next girlfriend's influence
spread across my flat,
294
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,915
one thing was clear:
Rhona and I were very different.
295
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,595
And to begin with,
I rather liked each new exotic addition
296
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,990
she added to my life.
But at some point,
297
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,199
we would have to deal with the fact
that our tastes were not the same.
298
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,591
I'm back!
I've got to show you something.
299
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,432
I've got to show you
what I bought today.
300
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,070
I could have bought the whole shop.
They have such amazing things there.
301
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,515
You should have seen
the boots they had.
302
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,399
I'm going to wear them every day.
303
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,350
Don't you just love them?
304
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,399
A fine leather caresses the ankle.
305
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,596
The heel gives a perfect balance
306
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,876
between functionality and style.
307
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,600
This upturned toe
has a remarkable way
308
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,069
of lengthening and flattering the leg.
309
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:03,392
And I'm loving these pin tucks that
lead you through to this jaunty bow,
310
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,472
making this a beautiful shoe.
311
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,633
Yeah, and you forgot to mention,
they're fucking horrible!
312
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,754
How could this person,
the person I'd spent three months
313
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,319
feeling so in touch with,
314
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,678
be in such raptures about
the world's most unattractive shoes?
315
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,594
If I'm honest, other differences
between us had started to appear.
316
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,436
Why did Rhona insist
on walking everywhere?
317
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,599
Why did she always
complain in restaurants?
318
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:34,909
Excuse me?
319
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,958
Why did she never have
more than six hours sleep?
320
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,237
Why did she find
Patch Adams so funny?
321
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,999
Why did we have to have sex
at every conceivable opportunity?
322
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,631
And why-oh-why
was she so bloody clumsy?
323
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,312
It was like Rhona
was a wonderful symphony orchestra,
324
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,631
but one or two of the players
were slightly off-key.
325
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,350
- Do you fancy going to a club?
- OK. Or we could go to the cinema.
326
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,755
No, you're right, let's go to a club.
327
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,275
Those shoes came
to symbolise our differences
328
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,796
and the need to gently accommodate
each other's bum notes.
329
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,517
Unfortunately, that isn't what happened.
330
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,077
- You don't like them?
- Frankly, I don't.
331
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:44,509
Why not?
332
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,240
I just don't like that kind of shoe.
333
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,870
- It looks like a pelican.
- It's elegant.
334
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,871
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
335
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,598
Look at the heel and the bow.
336
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,558
I think you're on your own
with this one, Rhona.
337
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,232
You don't know anything about fashion.
338
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,278
That may be, but I know a horrible shoe
when I see one.
339
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,432
It's not horrible. You're jealous
I bought a new pair of shoes.
340
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,238
I'm trying to tell you how I feel.
341
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,709
I really don't think they're suitable
for the party tonight.
342
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:15,317
Well, that's great. 'Cause that's
why I fucking bought them.
343
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,234
- Well, so wear them.
- Now, I can't, can I?
344
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,834
- Why not?
- Because a minute ago,
345
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,355
you told me I looked like
a pelican wearing them.
346
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,308
Why did I have to tell her?
Why couldn't I have lied?
347
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,360
- Haven't you got any milk?
- There's some at the back.
348
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,511
- Hang on a second.
- A few days earlier,
349
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,989
I noticed Mr. Paul, our local newsagent,
350
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,391
was wearing thick grey socks
and brown leather sandals.
351
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,710
They were spectacularly ugly.
352
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:43,949
But did I say...
353
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,509
You're not gonna keep wearing
those sandals, are you, Mr. Paul?
354
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,477
- Why not?
- Because they're disgusting
355
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,551
and frankly rather offensive.
356
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,188
Of course I didn't,
because I'm not in love with Mr. Paul.
357
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,669
So why did I spare his feelings
and not Rhona's?
358
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,789
I suppose we could have just politely
tolerated each other's differences.
359
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,599
But you see, I didn't want
to end up like my parents.
360
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,397
Good night, dear.
361
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,358
Good night.
362
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,795
Why can't you keep
your opinions to yourself?
363
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,712
Because I care about you, Rhona.
364
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,713
Someone has to tell you when you've
bought a pair of disgusting shoes.
365
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,916
Anyway, why do you care
about what I think?
366
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,358
Because I want you to like them.
I bought them hoping you'd like them,
367
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,988
and now you're telling me
I look like an alien wearing them.
368
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,913
Why does everything I do
always have to be wrong?
369
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,799
Come on, don't throw that one at me.
You know that's not true.
370
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,076
Yes, it is.
You don't even like my shoes.
371
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,515
I like almost everything else.
372
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,229
So why can't you forget
about the shoes?
373
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,472
- Because you deserve better.
- OK.
374
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,074
- Maybe I deserve better than you.
- What?
375
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,993
I'll spare you the full melodrama.
376
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,038
Suffice to say, she didn't
eventually wear them to the party
377
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,679
because we never went to the party.
378
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,196
In fact, we never went
to any parties ever again.
379
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,552
I know what you mean, pal.
Those shoes were shocking.
380
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,314
- I should have lied.
- No. You tell it how it is.
381
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,038
Hardcore. Keep it real.
382
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,077
- Would you have lied?
- Yeah.
383
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,157
Excuse the mess.
384
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,640
The rest of the flat's
really just for show.
385
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,675
This is where I really live.
386
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,308
And meet Guppy, my first love.
387
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,153
Oh! Your shoes.
388
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,315
- What?
- What's wrong?
389
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,392
- What do you mean?
- You're not into it. What's up?
390
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,030
- I can't help thinking.
- Don't think, just get on with it.
391
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,192
I'm trying to, but all sorts of stuff's
spinning round my head.
392
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,478
Look, mate, take my advice.
You've just got to switch this off.
393
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:21,192
Do you think I'd be able to do this
if I thought about it? Do you?
394
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,194
- I know, but it's all a bit...
- A bit quick? Yeah.
395
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,033
- Yeah, a little bit too easy?
- I suppose.
396
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,998
And if this was so easy for you,
how many other...?
397
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,390
I don't want to think about that,
but I can't help it.
398
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,313
- Well, then you've got to stop.
- What?
399
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,552
Yeah, you got to stop immediately,
tell her that you respect her
400
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,870
far too much to continue
having sex with her.
401
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,474
- Really?
- Course not, you moppet!
402
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,993
Just enjoy it.
403
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,196
- Thanks, Guppy.
- Don't mention it.
404
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,632
When did a fire alarm go off
405
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,916
in an inappropriate moment
in your life?
406
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,275
It may be in the middle
of the West End...
407
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,439
You can leave some
of your stuff here.
408
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,716
It has been nearly six months now.
409
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:51,799
To begin with, my old leather bag
had been just a quirky character trait.
410
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,790
God! What have you got in there?
411
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,119
But eventually it began to symbolise
my deliberate attempts
412
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,317
to keep my relationship
with Natalie unclear.
413
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,472
As soon as I let it go,
I knew that a few of my clothes
414
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,599
and my toothbrush would take up
permanent residence in her flat.
415
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,877
Every morning I would re-pack it
as though this was the last time
416
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,110
we would ever see each other.
417
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,919
It's all right.
They need washing anyway.
418
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,150
Your toothbrush doesn't.
419
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,198
And this inevitably led on
to a discussion about...
420
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,352
And I had very definite
opinions about that.
421
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,316
You just need to be
a bit patient with me, that's all.
422
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,436
I just need time to adjust.
423
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,673
The truth was it felt like Natalie and I
were quickly melting into one person,
424
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,832
and frankly I found that
a little disturbing.
425
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,036
- She now freely used my...
- Perfect!
426
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,952
- And my...
- How dare you?
427
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,838
...in general conversation.
428
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:52,312
I acquired Natalie's need
for total darkness in the bedroom.
429
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,513
She copied my way
of folding newspapers.
430
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,396
I took to wandering round things
to think a problem through.
431
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,438
And she acquired a taste
for lying on the carpet.
432
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:08,790
We even developed our own secret
language based on ourjoint history.
433
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:14,398
A language of mutual references
that no one else would understand.
434
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,914
I did a bit of a ming last night.
435
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,154
But all these common incidents, like the
accountant on the bus that told us...
436
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,595
I always keep a gun in my bag.
437
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,910
Look, there's that accountant!
438
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,277
...created our own little world
that brought us closer together.
439
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,269
And soon my old leather bag
was powerless
440
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,556
to prevent us dissolving into one.
441
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,235
Don't you think we should
walk your granddad's dog?
442
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,679
He's not an accountant.
He's an IT consultant from Leicester.
443
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,035
A Ming vase?
Emperor Ming from Flash Gordon?
444
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,156
- Maybe he just smells.
- His granddad's dog died
445
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,436
- over six months ago, so what is it?
- Keep trying.
446
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,830
The answer's got to be
out there somewhere.
447
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,310
- Hiya!
- Hi. Sorry we're a bit late.
448
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,790
Don't worry. I'm running behind myself.
You must be Duncan.
449
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,871
- Hi.
- I'm Gemma. Come on in.
450
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,393
Thank you.
451
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,191
I would have loved
to have been an architect.
452
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,432
I don't have the concentration.
453
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,636
Have you done anything
I would have seen?
454
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,678
Doubt it. Unless you've been to
one restaurant on Charlotte Street.
455
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,115
- Which one?
- Chew Chew.
456
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,431
No! I love Chew Chew!
457
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,511
- You didn't?
- No. Well, sort of.
458
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,638
- Have you been to the toilet?
- With all the glass! I love that!
459
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,711
And it has the great big shiny...
460
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,677
Well, that's not me either.
461
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:39,072
But the corridor
and the area around the fire escape.
462
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:40,559
Well, that's me.
463
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,431
I'm hoping they have a fire.
Then my work will really get noticed.
464
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,354
- I'll start one next time I'm there.
- Could you? I'd appreciate that.
465
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,431
No problem.
466
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,150
All right, so I fell in love with Gemma
just a little bit that night.
467
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,676
Watching her talk,
blowing out a candle,
468
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,718
messing about in the kitchen,
brushing hair from her face.
469
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,668
I began to consider alternative
love-lives I could have lived.
470
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,035
- Hiya!
- Hi. Sorry we're a bit late.
471
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,236
It's fine. I'm running behind
a bit myself.
472
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,431
In city streets or busy restaurants,
473
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,637
I'm often aware of the millions
of women whose lives are doomed
474
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,995
to remain a mystery to me.
475
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,038
Seeing these women fills me with regret.
476
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,829
It normally only takes me 20 minutes,
but it's being fixed, you see.
477
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,309
I want to be back in Colchester
by the weekend.
478
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,313
If I don't book my ticket now,
I'll have to stand on the train.
479
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:34,678
She's looking much better now.
She's been ill for almost a year.
480
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,717
I would feel momentarily sad
481
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,997
that I would never get to hear
the rest of these stories.
482
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,318
What was it about Gemma that evoked
such confused feelings in me?
483
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,950
Feelings that my love for Natalie
didn't seem to resolve.
484
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,796
So did you fall in love with her?
485
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,999
- What?
- I saw you with her.
486
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,230
- Who?
- Gemma.
487
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,992
Of course not.
488
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,154
- She's just your type.
- No, she's not.
489
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,629
So, what was I feeling so guilty about?
490
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,553
Had my feelings
towards Natalie changed?
491
00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:15,315
Is something wrong?
Do you not like me today?
492
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,199
- I like you less.
- Really? Much less?
493
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,318
- No, not that much.
- Out of ten?
494
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,948
Today? I should say six and a half.
495
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,954
No, six and three-quarters, perhaps.
How about you with me?
496
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,680
I'd say about minus three.
497
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,469
Although it might have been
a 12 and a half last night.
498
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,473
Often I couldn't tell whether
my feelings towards Natalie
499
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,030
had anything to do with her at all.
Here, for instance.
500
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,478
Was I furious with Natalie for making a
racket while I tried to watch the news?
501
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,949
Or did it have more to do
with losing the contract
502
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,236
for Tooting Bec tube station?
503
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,877
Wankers!
504
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,511
Or was I still disturbed by a comment
I had overheard Natalie say at a party?
505
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,398
You can't spend forever
looking for the right person.
506
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,790
- You've got to get on with your life.
- On the face of it,
507
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,078
Natalie and I were a perfect match,
but in reality something was missing.
508
00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:14,357
That mysterious, indefinable spark
509
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,476
just wasn't there.
510
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,437
To stabilise our feelings
for each other,
511
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,160
we would often project
a future for ourselves,
512
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,029
imagining we were a couple of oldies
with stacks of grandchildren.
513
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,875
Or find houses we both liked
and decorate them in our heads.
514
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,477
We tried to make ourselves believe
in a future together.
515
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:46,111
A future that deep down both of us
knew would never happen.
516
00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,149
And so in a pattern that we've
now seen repeated many times over,
517
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:04,393
another ride representing
another failed relationship
518
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,791
- comes to an end.
- God, what a loser.
519
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,036
Are you getting on?
520
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:15,669
Yeah, OK.
521
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:24,392
Which brings us
to the next stop on our tour.
522
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,630
An area devoted to
523
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,076
a rather difficult period
in Duncan's life.
524
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,118
This landscape represents Duncan's life
525
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,635
in the second half of this year.
526
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,268
A bleak and barren time,
527
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,830
devoid of any companionship
or happiness.
528
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,515
Six months of take-away pizzas
and video rentals.
529
00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:02,597
Perhaps some of you might like
530
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,830
to take a quiet moment of reflection.
531
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,515
It's something that many of our guests
like to do at this point.
532
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,595
But let's not dwell here for too long,
533
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,070
as an area of the park devoted
to the new year
534
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:32,514
is just around the corner.
535
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,069
And who could have guessed
what that would bring?
536
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,714
Visitors of Duncanworld.
537
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,475
Today I have the great pleasure of
opening this theme park's latest ride.
538
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:17,710
Higher, faster, more exciting than
anything you have experienced before.
539
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,750
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
540
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,512
I give you...
541
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,798
...the Gemma.
542
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,996
Hey! Excuse me!
543
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,230
The alarm's gone off.
Can I check your bags?
544
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,709
- I paid for everything in my bag.
- I'm not saying you haven't.
545
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,031
But I need to check your bags.
Maybe there's a tag or something.
546
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,910
There, you see? Socks.
547
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,470
- Still got the tag. Got a receipt?
- No, I didn't put those in my bag.
548
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,153
You saying you didn't pay for 'em?
549
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,231
I'm saying I didn't
put those in my bag.
550
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,119
I paid for my food, I literally
came straight from the checkout.
551
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,998
I'm not gonna have time
to steal socks, am I?
552
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,596
Why are you losing control? I'm
asking to see a receipt for the socks.
553
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,035
- You're joking, aren't you?
- Gemma!
554
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:47,039
Are you all right?
555
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,115
- I think so.
- I need to see your receipt.
556
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,716
Come on. You don't seriously think
she stole those, do you?
557
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,633
- So sorry. I don't mean to be rude.
- No, it's only your job.
558
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,713
- Your party about six months ago.
- Hey.
559
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,190
First of all, what would she want
with a pair of men's socks?
560
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,316
I don't know, sir.
Maybe her boyfriend?
561
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,233
How do you know that? Gemma,
do you need a pair of men's socks?
562
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,277
- Do you have a boyfriend?
- No.
563
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,591
No. So we're all just wasting our time.
564
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,757
- So how are you?
- I'm fine. Thank you.
565
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,511
- Where's your car?
- Just down here.
566
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:32,073
- Are you still designing fire exits?
- Wow. You remember.
567
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:34,470
Yeah, I'm your biggest fan.
568
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,995
Your emergency corridor
is one of my favourites.
569
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,355
Really? They let me do
a bit more now, you know.
570
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,034
- I'm designing a health centre.
- Oh, shame.
571
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,952
I really thought
you'd found your medium.
572
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,917
Do you think? Thanks very much.
573
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,229
- Isn't all this a bit premature?
- I'm sorry?
574
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,392
- She might not be very interested.
- Does she really fancy you?
575
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:57,788
Mere details, friends.
576
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,428
Yeah, what's to say that you won't make
577
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,830
exactly the same mistakes as before?
578
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,718
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
579
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,519
But this time
things are gonna be different.
580
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,352
I'm going into it
with a whole new attitude.
581
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,318
- I'm not going to let this one go.
- Right, OK.
582
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,040
I'm gonna pay attention
to every tiny detail.
583
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,034
I'll anticipate the problems. I'm gonna
make use of all of this experience.
584
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,398
Do you think? I just found people
were too unappreciative
585
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,915
during an emergency evacuation.
They don't take the time
586
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:32,039
- to appreciate the craftsmanship.
- That's what I've always felt.
587
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:37,473
- Please don't tell me this is it.
- Hey, do not be rude about my car.
588
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,677
- I love my little car.
- No, it's lovely.
589
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,718
It's just not much of a getaway vehicle.
590
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,472
If you're gonna plan
daring sock robberies,
591
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,598
you really ought to think
the whole thing through.
592
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,955
- Where were you headed?
- I was shopping.
593
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,236
- Where?
- In the supermarket.
594
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,991
Where's your shopping?
595
00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:00,151
They didn't have what I wanted.
596
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:01,959
Which was?
597
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,438
An avocado.
I really needed an avocado.
598
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,712
What, like this one?
599
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,034
You put those socks in my bag,
didn't you?
600
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,358
Is that important? Really?
601
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,676
Surely, the most important thing
is that you go out with me.
602
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,116
Blimey, you're forward.
603
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,999
Not really, I'm just desperate.
604
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,154
And this time it was different.
605
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,914
T- minus ten, nine, eight,
606
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,595
seven, six, five,
607
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,716
four, three,
608
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:49,996
two, one.
609
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,559
We have lift-off.
610
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:58,232
This was someone I could imagine
spending the rest of my life with.
611
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,431
We seemed able to accommodate
each other's differences.
612
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,512
And there wasn't some old relationship
waiting in the wings,
613
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,477
ready to be re-started.
614
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,116
I was walking past Jigsaw today.
615
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,078
There's this really nice jumper
in the window.
616
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:33,471
- Great.
- It's lovely.
617
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,394
- Why are you telling me?
- Shut up.
618
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,790
I was walking past Bang & Olufsen
the other day.
619
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:43,111
- But it's not your birthday, is it?
- Why, whose is it?
620
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,999
You are such an idiot.
621
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,952
I picked up the jumper
on my way back from work.
622
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,953
But as I was filling out
the accompanying card, I realised
623
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,669
that this was my first non-intimidating
chance to legitimately tell Gemma
624
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,549
that I loved her. I had wanted
to tell her plenty of times.
625
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,672
I love you.
626
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,754
You see,
Gemma was suspicious of words.
627
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,673
People can talk problems into existence.
628
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:26,196
Problems that aren't even there
in the first place.
629
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,830
When I was 12 years old,
630
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,913
I fell madly in love with this boy
on a holiday camp,
631
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,911
called Giles.
632
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,396
We ended up walking
around this lake together.
633
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,120
Do you want to sit down?
634
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,392
It was like the first time
635
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,438
that I'd held a boy's hand.
636
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,319