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1
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,451
-(DOGS BARKING)
-(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
2
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,320
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
3
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,202
MAZ: What a shit-tip.
4
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,123
KEITH: Neighbours have been
complaining for weeks.
5
00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,811
He was a hoarder apparently.
6
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,201
Get away.
7
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,961
It stinks.
8
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,806
You'll get used it.
9
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,009
We've had worse than this,
haven't we, Keith?
10
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,250
Oh, yes, this is a veritable pot-pourri
compared to Stanley Gardens.
11
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,810
Oh, now that was bad.
12
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,882
Widow had been there 18 months.
13
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,567
Nothing left of her. just a pile
of old lady porridge on the settee.
14
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,921
With a hat on top.
15
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,968
MAZ: Whoa, that is rank!
16
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,567
That's the job, Mary.
You never know what lies in wait.
17
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,568
I have to say you don't strike me
as a Mary.
18
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,006
People call me Maz.
19
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,129
And you do strike me as a Mary
if you don't mind me saying.
20
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,406
Why, because I wear glasses?
21
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,561
Basically, yeah.
22
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,962
KEITH: The gentleman's name
was Frank Meggins, 68 years old.
23
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,569
Fell through a glass coffee table
and bled out apparently.
24
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,085
Ugh. Are we gonna have to
change those floorboards?
25
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,207
Yep.
26
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,445
We're also doing a probate valuation
and document search.
27
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,411
Mr Meggins had no living relatives
so any clues will be beneficial
28
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,601
to sorting out the estate.
29
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:07,681
Yeah,
30
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,684
because someone will be dying to get
their hands on all this crap won't they?
31
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,569
Someone did die, Mary.
32
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,450
That's why we're here.
33
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,167
Look at this! Looks like
Frank's numbers came up.
34
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,442
What! He won the lottery?
35
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,521
Looks like it.
36
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:26,290
Maybe he was a bit of a Howard Hughes,
but without the germ phobia, obviously.
37
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,931
But why would you live in a council flat
full of shit
38
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,207
-if you were a millionaire?
- Show some respect.
39
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,520
Sorry, Keith.
40
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,406
But seriously, 3.5 mill!
41
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,722
I would be like Ferrari,
massive mansion, special edition Yeezys!
42
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,570
- What's that?
- Trainers.
43
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,847
Oh, right. Yeah. Push the boat out,
why don't you?
44
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,649
Ah, a boat, why not!
45
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,122
Though my dad did say,
"If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it."
46
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,406
That's enough!
47
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,081
Nick, show her how to bag up
the kitchen waste,
48
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,008
I'll make a start on thisjenga.
49
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,765
- He's a barrel of laughs, isn't he?
-(NICK SIGHS) Keith's all right.
50
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,125
He means well.
51
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,011
He's has a hard life.
52
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,409
(WHISPERING) I heard his son's got M&S.
53
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,282
MS. He's...
54
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,681
A rent boy?
55
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,602
No! What? No... He's in a wheelchair!
56
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,045
Oh!
57
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,089
He's got a lot on his plate. Here.
58
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:31,047
Lesson one, no matter who you are,
people always have the same things
59
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:32,844
in their kitchen cupboards.
60
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,491
Kidney beans,
61
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,531
peaches in syrup,
62
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,364
half a box of icing sugar.
63
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,491
But not everyone has...
64
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,646
A dead rat!
65
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,210
Ugh! Get that away from me, man!
66
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,487
- These need to be double-bagged. Here...
- I'm not touching that!
67
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,289
Come on! You can't be squeamish
in this job.
68
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,245
(scoFFS)
69
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,410
(GROAN5)
70
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,723
- Hurry up, man!
- All right.
71
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,170
Good. Now go and put Roland
by the front door.
72
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,925
- Roland?
- Never mind, it's from the 80's.
73
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,440
(SCRAPING)
74
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,643
(DOOR CREAKS)
75
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,727
(CLICK)
76
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,640
(PANEL CREAKS)
77
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,450
- Is it locked?
- Jesus!
78
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,646
Are you trying to kill me?
79
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,491
(EXHALES) Yes.
80
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,965
Look, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
81
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,328
I don't know, what are you thinking?
82
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,767
3.5 million.
83
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,284
Try this. 17-04-50.
84
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,725
It's his wife's date of birth.
85
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,043
(SAFE TICKING)
86
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,121
Clever clogs.
87
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,920
Is that it?
88
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,490
Package and a VHS.
89
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:34,841
What's a VHS?
90
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,729
It's from the 80's.
91
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,849
I assume you were trying to find
a passport or will or some such?
92
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,241
Exactly. just trying to find
his prostate.
93
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,321
Probate.
94
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,328
"Danger. Do not open."
95
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,486
Should we open it?
96
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,763
Course, how can we not?
97
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,002
It's better that we have
the full picture.
98
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,686
NICK: Is that it?
99
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,681
I bet it's full of drugs. Smash it open.
100
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,207
Feels pretty solid.
Probably sentimental value.
101
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,529
Then why did it have "Danger"
written on it?
102
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,684
We need to find a player for this.
103
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,445
Maz, you look in there,
Nick, check the kitchen.
104
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,651
Don't even know what I'm looking for.
105
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,850
Oh, I've just had a horrible thought.
106
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,929
What if it's home-made pornography?
107
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,047
MAZ: Ugh!
108
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,084
I'm not sure I want to see old Frank
going at it with his fat wife.
109
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,605
Keep it clean, you two.
110
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:04,966
NICK: That's ironic!
111
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,571
We just found a rat in here.
112
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,846
Dead or alive?
113
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,160
NICK: Dead.
114
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,049
- MAZ: I double-bagged it!
- Good.
115
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,651
I wish it was alive.
116
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,405
Less paper-work.
117
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,166
KEITH: Found it.
118
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,486
There's nowhere to sit.
119
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,244
(SHUSHES)
120
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,366
By the time you see this message,
I hope to be free.
121
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,206
Free from this terrible curse
122
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,523
that I have brought upon myself
through greed and vanity.
123
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,080
It's like jackanory.
124
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,362
Don't tell me, 80's?
125
00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,726
Yep.
126
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:05,251
Inside this package is an object
that has ruined countless lives,
127
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,566
including mine.
128
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,803
I got it many years ago
129
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,609
for a small fortune from a holy man
in jaipur.
130
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,445
He got ripped off there, could have
got it from Ikea for a tenner.
131
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,409
- Quiet.
- He told me
132
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,885
that this artefact would grant
the bearer three wishes,
133
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,728
which would transform my life.
134
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,847
And for a while, it did,
135
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,841
but after what happened to Brenda...
136
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,968
If you find this package,
137
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,240
I urge you, I implore you,
do not open it.
138
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,849
Send it away, destroy it!
139
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,363
Our lives are ruled by fate,
140
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,645
and those who interfere with fate
141
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,527
do so to their sorrow.
142
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,923
No, he's not gonna...
143
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,161
That's very sad.
144
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,847
I mean where's Social Services
in all this, eh?
145
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,851
Nobody cares any more.
146
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,640
What's up?
147
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,480
You heard what he said.
148
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,931
That thing is dangerous.
149
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,402
Oh, come on Nick,
he was clearly delusional!
150
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,889
He's lost his wife and he couldn't
accept it, it's classic displacement.
151
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,128
Blaming a rabbit ornament
isn't going to bring her back.
152
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,043
- It's a hare.
- So?
153
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,650
Hares are associated with
witchcraft and trickery
154
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,245
in almost every culture in the world.
155
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,041
How do you know?
156
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,407
Because I did a PhD in
Ethnology and Folklore.
157
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,960
Then why are you here,
acting as a glorified bin-man?
158
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,202
Because it didn't get me anywhere,
did it?
159
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,170
It's like having a degree in Washing Up.
160
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,366
Yeah, but still...
161
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,329
Let's just say I made some bad choices.
162
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,802
Oh, you were a rent boy!
163
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,165
He was an alcoholic.
164
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,886
Am an alcoholic.
165
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,840
Never goes away.
166
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,611
Fortunately there are people
willing to give you a second chance.
167
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,684
Look, why don't we put the man's
property back in the safe, eh?
168
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:40,005
This glorified bin-man thinks
we've wasted enough time as it is.
169
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,770
(FAINT SQUEAKING)
170
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,211
(RAT SQUEAKING)
171
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,885
Guys! Come here a second.
172
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,762
You don't double-bag a live rodent.
173
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,970
- It was dead.
- Really?
174
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,361
Yeah, I know a dead rat when I see one.
175
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,647
- It's all right, we all make mistakes.
- I wished for it!
176
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,242
- What?
-just now, in there.
177
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,163
I was holding the statue,
I said, "I wish it was alive,
178
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,366
"it'd be a lot less paperwork!"
179
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,602
- Nick, calm down...
- Nah, he's right, he did.
180
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,891
Damn. That means we've only got
two wishes left.
181
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,201
What do you mean?
182
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,681
Well, you've used yours,
you wished for the rat to come alive.
183
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,888
- What? I was just making a joke.
- That's your problem, mate.
184
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,486
I could've had anything in the world,
I've ended up with a pet rat?
185
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,642
Well, that's very domesticated,
very clean.
186
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,848
- Well, you have it then!
- Excuse me.
187
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,251
Sorry. Couldn't concentrate.
188
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,046
Look, Nick, what we're dealing with
here is an old man,
189
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,124
possibly with undiagnosed dementia,
who had a run of bad luck.
190
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,090
Is one explanation, but consider this...
Maz?
191
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,128
This is Frank's wife, Brenda.
192
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,368
I'm not being rude
but she is a bit of a...
193
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,366
- She's overweight.
- Yes. She's a beast.
194
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,321
I think the word is "obese."
195
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,804
Anyway, within six months she gets ill
196
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,450
and ends up looking like this.
197
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,205
She had cancer, yes,
198
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,727
that's what happens.
199
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,450
But here in Frank's diary,
200
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,888
"Brenda upset about her weight again.
201
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,089
"Poor sausage, I wish there was a way
I could help her."
202
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,770
- Poorsausage?
- You see,
203
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,491
he wished for her to be thin, she gets
cancer, weight drops off, she dies.
204
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,483
How could you even... That's just sick!
205
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:47,800
All right, look at this.
206
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,646
3rd of September, back from India,
12th of September, wins the lottery...
207
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,643
- You've said all this...
-29th of September,
208
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,802
sends his brother on
a luxury holiday to the Florida Keys.
209
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,120
- So?
- Where he dies
210
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,565
in a boating accident.
211
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,129
- See?
- Vvhat?
212
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,000
Every wish backfires. It's throughout
folklore, there's no way round it.
213
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,562
After his wife dies, he sells
the big house in Highgate,
214
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,809
he moves in here. Starts frittering
away his money buying crap off eBay.
215
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,042
That's because he was a hoarder,
it's an illness.
216
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,690
It's because he was trying
to get rid of it
217
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,161
by buying the most innocuous things.
The money is cursed!
218
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,243
This is just storifying, Nick,
219
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,129
You've developed
an overactive imagination
220
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,531
'cause of your Fairy Tale degree.
221
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,808
Have you been drinking
the antibacterial hand-wash again?
222
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,166
I did that once!
223
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,490
All right then,
so what was his third wish?
224
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,727
I don't know.
225
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,451
Look, my point is,
we've got two wishes left,
226
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,681
what are we going to use them on?
227
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,003
Well, I wish we could just go back
to work and get this job done!
228
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,164
That's not gonna happen now, is it?
229
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,367
No.
230
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,764
- You have to be holding it.
-(MAZ SIGHS)
231
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,561
Come on.
232
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,606
I know what we should do.
233
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,409
We should wish for unlimited wishes!
234
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,687
- It won't work.
- How do you know?
235
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,241
It never does.
236
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,401
You can't wish for anything
237
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,960
that would alter the structure
of the wishing-system itself.
238
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,400
Can you make a start on those
floorboards, please?
239
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,926
I've got an ATP fluorescence
booked in at 12:00 tomorrow,
240
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,889
I need that room spotless.
241
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,601
Grab that.
242
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,809
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
243
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,642
Why don't we just ask
for shitloads of money?
244
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,210
Like, 50 million each.
245
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,408
That's exactly what Frank did,
look what happened to him.
246
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,971
Just a stain to get rid of.
247
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,007
The wish-granter is always vengeful.
248
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,126
If you're greedy, you pay the price.
249
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,487
Yeah, but it's like the tax man,
isn't it?
250
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,051
I claimed for a Happy Meal
251
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,044
because I found a receipt
in a trolley outside Tesco,
252
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,725
and he never came after me.
253
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,085
I don't think you can compare fate
to the Inland Revenue.
254
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,490
I wish for £93,000 please.
255
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,971
- What are you doing?
- What?
256
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,009
That was very carefully thought out.
257
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,208
Not too much but enough
to make a difference.
258
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,520
- Give me that.
- Why?
259
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,921
- You're an idiot.
- KEITH: Everything all right?
260
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,122
Yeah, we're just sorting out
the floorboards.
261
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,804
NICK: You should not have
wished for that money!
262
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,881
MAZ: Well, what then?
263
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,769
I don't know. Something harmless...
An activity.
264
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,002
An activity, what like? Skydiving?
265
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,809
Yeah, 'cos that'd end well, wouldn't it?
266
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,845
Don't say I didn't warn you.
267
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,045
When will I get it anyway?
268
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,121
What do you mean?
269
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,726
Well, when you wished for your rat,
it was instant.
270
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,370
- It's not my rat.
- I'm just saying.
271
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,329
How long will it be
before I get my money?
272
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,640
(THUDDING)
273
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,610
(FLOORBOARDS CREAKING)
274
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,006
- Wha...
- Huh.
275
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,481
(LAUGHS)
276
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,846
(KISSES TEETH)
277
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,211
NICK: What have you got there, Keith?
278
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,401
Er, come across some of Frank's
lottery winnings.
279
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,162
Looks like he didn't
spend it all, after all.
280
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,011
And what are you doing with it?
281
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,729
Well, you know the procedure, Nick.
282
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,643
This money has to be secured and taken
off the property as soon as possible.
283
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,251
By stuffing it in your coat pockets?
284
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,321
I thought it would be safer that way
but you're right.
285
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,890
Let's keep it all in one place.
286
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,846
MAZ: What's going on?
287
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,045
Keith has found some money.
288
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,731
Yes, looks to be
in the region of £100,000.
289
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,009
Ninety-three. It's mine.
I just wished for it.
290
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,250
You do talk some rubbish, Mary.
291
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,722
This money was just here.
292
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,961
Nobody wished for it.
293
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,769
Then how do you explain the rat?
294
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,970
I can assure you there's more than
one rat on this property, Nick.
295
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:01,725
They're everywhere.
296
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,962
- Now, if you'll excuse me...
- You're not going.
297
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,284
- What?
- That's my money.
298
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,361
You're not taking it.
299
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,442
- Maz!
- It belongs to me.
300
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,610
(BULB FLICKERS)
301
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,765
Maz! Come back!
302
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,205
I'll get the fuse box.
303
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,609
Maz, listen to me.
304
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,082
If you take that money,
305
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,408
something terrible will happen to you.
306
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,682
I know you're spooked,
307
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,850
but that money is not yours.
308
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,563
There's no point hiding.
There's only three rooms.
309
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,925
Don't come any closer!
310
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,246
Maz...
311
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,006
I'm warning you. Don't move or
I'll turn you both into cushions.
312
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,361
What?
313
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,004
It's the first thing
that came into my mind.
314
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,925
Think about what I said.
315
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,601
You're being greedy.
316
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,844
Remember the Happy Meal
in the Tesco's trolley.
317
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,969
- It's not the same thing!
- I'm sorry you've lost me now.
318
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,201
Maz...
319
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,685
You don't know what your fate
has in store.
320
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,090
It could be that you are
going to be really rich.
321
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:48,960
Don't meddle with it.
322
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,881
Just let it be a surprise.
323
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,561
Thanks for the warning, Nick.
But I know what I want.
324
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,729
I don't like surprises.
325
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,246
(WHIMPERS)
326
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,961
Jesus.
327
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,364
Don't touch anything, Nick.
328
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,283
You don't want to
contaminate the evidence.
329
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,486
We've still got one wish left.
330
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,085
I could wish for Maz
to come back to life...
331
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,400
But then she'll be brain-damaged.
332
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,767
Just like in The Monkey's Paw,
when the son comes back all mangled.
333
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,365
Nick, Nick, you're babbling.
334
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,807
Why don't you go home now
and I'll sort this out?
335
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,370
- Yeah, but what about Maz?
- She's gone.
336
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,326
She's gone.
337
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,167
It was an accident at work,
we both saw it.
338
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,526
I'll alert the authorities,
I'll take the money back to the office
339
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,682
and in the morning
I'll reassign the case, OK?
340
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,601
Will you, though?
341
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,086
What do you mean?
342
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,241
Take the money back.
343
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,530
I saw what you were doing with it.
344
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,409
- I explained all that...
- Keith.
345
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,086
I've known you 12 years.
Don't lie to me, please.
346
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,041
OK.
347
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:22,246
OK, 50/50.
348
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,407
- What?
- We'll split it, 45 grand each.
349
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,289
No one knew it ever existed,
it's not a crime.
350
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,011
Keith, I don't want anything to do with
that money. We've got to get rid of it!
351
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,570
- Burn it!
- I can't burn it, Nick.
352
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,289
This money's a godsend to me.
353
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,847
This could pay for Charlie's operation.
354
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:43,203
Yes, yes, maybe. In the stories,
people always make self-serving wishes.
355
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,442
Use it for something good,
there'll be no retribution.
356
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,363
There's no such thing as wishes!
357
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,851
There is no magic,
there's no short-cuts.
358
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,327
If you hadn't found that stupid video,
Maz'd still be alive,
359
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,927
we could have just done this job
and gone home!
360
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,449
Hang on a minute, we found that
video locked in the safe.
361
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:06,841
So?
362
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,686
It was his suicide video.
Who put it there?
363
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,571
What are you trying to say?
364
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,161
Maybe Frank isn't dead.
365
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,651
Frank is dead, Nick.
366
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,007
- Yes, but how do you know?
- Because I killed him!
367
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,402
(KEITH BREATHING H EAVI LY)
368
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,088
The trouble with
these old properties is...
369
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,765
They're death-traps.
370
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,324
(GAS HISSES)
371
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,040
Especially,
372
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,410
if you've been drinking.
373
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,684
I'd heard rumours
there might be money here.
374
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,885
The neighbours had been in
complaining about the smell,
375
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,363
so I arranged a home visit.
376
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,770
I told Frank about Charlie,
377
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,449
asked him if he could help me out
but he wouldn't listen.
378
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,363
We argued, and I lost my temper.
379
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,205
The next thing I know...
380
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,126
He was dead.
381
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:32,122
So you see, Nick, it's got nothing
to do with your stupid wishes.
382
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,885
(DOOR CLOSES DISTANTLY)
383
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,966
FRANK: I am so hungry.
384
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,841
I don't know what's happened
to all my food.
385
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:23,721
Frank?
386
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:25,890
What are you doing here?
387
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,324
This is my flat, where else
am I going to go?
388
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:35,841
But you're dead.
389
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,208
I had some tinned peaches
in here somewhere.
390
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,363
I know you, don't I?
You came from the council.
391
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,442
One minute you're trying to help me
392
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,881
and the next you're pushing me
through a glass coffee table.
393
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,646
Yes, sorry about that.
394
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,126
I have a son, you see...
395
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,646
Yes, I remember you saying.
396
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,690
We try and help the ones we love,
I understand that.
397
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,323
I tried to help my wife,
398
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,165
but it didn't work out.
399
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,281
I also wished to be rich
400
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,010
and now look at me.
401
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,011
What was your third wish, Frank?
402
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,202
I'd have thought you'd have
guessed that by now.
403
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,287
What's the point in being rich
if you can't live forever?
404
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,524
So that video tape...
405
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,287
Oh, I've tried countless times
to end it all,
406
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,725
but I can't.
407
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,410
Like a bad penny, I keep coming back.
408
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,886
It's a living hell
and I'm trapped in it.
409
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,525
Don't make the same mistake I made.
Be careful what you wish for.
410
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,565
Here.
411
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,291
This belongs to you.
412
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,488
Thank you. I'll make us some tea.
413
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,280
NICK: Keith!
414
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,247
Here you go.
415
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:32,521
You've got a visitor.
416
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,280
Charfie?
417
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,567
Look, Daddy, I can walk.
418
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,290
I wished it for you, Keith.
419
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,451
It's what you deserve.
420
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,091
Oh, my boy, my beautiful boy.
421
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:51,207
Daddy?
422
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,371
What's that smell?
423
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,161
Oh, no.
424
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,211
(STOVE CLICKS)
425
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,169
(EXPLOSION)
31328
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