Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
2
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,385
Mm. Hmm.
3
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,970
So ionic.
4
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,868
If I wanted to be bored
on a Saturday, I would have
5
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,954
signed up for that management
training program at work.
6
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:22,646
At least there I know
where the good toilets are.
7
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,481
Wait, what training program?
8
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,712
Oh, it's some dumb
career development thing
9
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,714
at the plant,
so you can become a manager
10
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,071
and have more responsibility.
11
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,322
Who needs that trap?
12
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,575
But we could really
use more money.
13
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,745
You've had the same entry-level
job your whole career.
14
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,683
Hey, don't knock
entry level, marge.
15
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,458
At least I don't have
to wear long-sleeve shirts,
16
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,377
go to webinars
and supervise a bunch
17
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,379
of entry-level losers,
18
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,590
with their short-sleeve shirts.
19
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,551
Homer, I can't be
the only one in this family
20
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,803
who wants more for us.
21
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,430
I want more.
22
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,682
I just don't want
to do anything to earn it.
23
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,350
For once in your life,
24
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,895
would it kill you
to show a little ambition?
25
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:08,567
Ah, ambition is indeed
a timeless source of conflict.
26
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,652
A lost senior.
27
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,113
Where is your family?
28
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,449
As a matter of fact,
I just curated
29
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,456
an exhibit about a roman family
30
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,162
torn asunder
by the hunger for more.
31
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,332
The life of obeseus the wide.
32
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,251
Ooh, maybe
an historical allegory
33
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,337
could help us
work out our issues.
34
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:30,025
Once again, bickering in public
35
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,674
gets us free therapy
from strangers.
36
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,468
Bickering most tragic.
37
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:38,722
For ambition was the force
that built the roman empire
38
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,058
and that which tore it apart.
39
00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:43,685
Obeseus was born
to a poor farmer
40
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,313
with much land,
but no ox to plow it.
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,066
So he improvised.
42
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,235
Life on the farm was cruel.
43
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,654
But it chiseled
young obeseus into quite
44
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,906
the italian beefcake.
45
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,407
Good news, plow son.
46
00:01:57,535 --> 00:02:00,452
We finally got enough money
to buy us an ox.
47
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,788
Woo-hoo!
How'd you do that, father?
48
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,456
I sold you into slavery.
49
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,000
Arrivederci, sucker.
50
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,025
A frightened obeseus
51
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,632
and his new work friends
52
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,425
were taken to rome.
53
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,720
The boys had never seen
anything like it... the crowds,
54
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,347
the noise, the grand scale
55
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,225
of the pornographic graffiti.
56
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:26,186
But the worst was yet to come.
57
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,564
Gentlemen,
today you have the honor
58
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,358
of being hacked to death
on the field of battle.
59
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,986
Us? But we're not gladiators.
60
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:35,487
Not with that attitude.
61
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,948
Remember, there are
no small wounds,
62
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,076
only small victims.
63
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,750
Hailing from germania,
64
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,837
he's the saxon
who's always axe-in'...
65
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,506
Wolfus rein!
66
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,968
And in the shaking tunic,
67
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,637
hailing from who knows,
nobody cares...
68
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,556
That guy.
69
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,813
Someone's in here.
70
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,152
Aah!
71
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,448
Obeseus didn't know much,
72
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,574
but he knew how to be an ox.
73
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,166
Juno, mother of apollo.
74
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,711
All right, pal,
should we call it a tie?
75
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,713
A-aah!
76
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,508
All hail our new champion,
77
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,385
mr. Plow himself,
78
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,679
obeseus!
79
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,932
Yeah!
80
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,558
Oh...
81
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,565
That chiseled bumpkin
just killed
82
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,687
my prized psychopath.
83
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,481
Feed him to the hippos.
84
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,192
No, father, look how
the crowd loves him.
85
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,654
That hunky rube could put
a lot of togas in the seats.
86
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,032
Majora, you have quite the mind
87
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,076
for the family business.
88
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:07,663
The man-ox will live
to fight another day.
89
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,667
Mm.
90
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,438
Obeseus' fame grew
91
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,837
as he rose through
the gladiatorial ranks.
92
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,506
Women wanted him
93
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,384
and men wanted
to be killed by him.
94
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,097
But still he yearned for that
95
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,099
which he longed for.
96
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,560
Eye... Heart... U!
97
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,688
Oh...
98
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,777
you guys think
we'll ever be free again?
99
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,924
The only way
we're leaving this place
100
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,031
is carried out in chunks.
101
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,616
Uh, don't mind me, fellas.
102
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,863
Another clog in the chunk chute.
103
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:50,080
They got to start cutting
you guys into smaller pieces.
104
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,749
Let us make a sacred pact
before the gods.
105
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,459
If one of us ever gets free,
106
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,421
he'll do everything he can
to free the rest of us.
107
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,080
To freedom.
108
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,443
To freedom!
109
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,968
Yeah, to freedom.
110
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,887
Eh, you chunks are no fun.
111
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,225
Well, if it isn't
the champion of rome himself.
112
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,853
Lady majora.
113
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,479
What are you doing here?
114
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,025
I have to keep an eye
on my father's investments.
115
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,319
Plus, I like the way
your pecs dance
116
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,029
after you kill a guy.
117
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,239
These old things?
118
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,534
Blip, blip, bla-bla, blip,
blip, bla-bla, blip.
119
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,707
Mm-hmm.
120
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,585
Swish and slash
and spin and kick
121
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,629
and slice that belly
and hello, guts.
122
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,943
It would appear that one
of you lowly gladiators
123
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,218
has impregnated my daughter.
124
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,636
Tell me who laid with her,
125
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:50,057
and the rest of you
will be spared the lash.
126
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,767
Mm...
127
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,353
I had sexicus.
128
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,023
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
129
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,108
I had sexicus.
130
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,402
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
131
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,945
I had sexicus.
132
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,322
You jerks!
133
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,948
You knew I liked her.
134
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,201
We were covering
for you, jackass.
135
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,535
Oh, right.
136
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,307
Sir, I'm in love
with your daughter.
137
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,790
If you must punish someone,
punish me.
138
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,418
Place his head
on the beheading block.
139
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,299
Which is also
the unlocking block.
140
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,052
Rise, for you are now free...
141
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,220
Woo-hoo!
142
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,931
- ...To marry my daughter.
- D'oh!
143
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,350
I-I mean, great.
144
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,853
What could be more
liberating than marriage?
145
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,626
The young lovers were wed
for all the gods to see.
146
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,609
And plans were made
for their future.
147
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,861
So that you may
build a life together,
148
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,323
I give you the deed
to one of my many businesses.
149
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,409
Oh, thank you, daddy.
150
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,786
I have so many great ideas.
151
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,956
Oh, my little vestal non-virgin,
152
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,667
leave the business talk
to the men.
153
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,089
Now, obeseus,
to get things started,
154
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,968
please, take some slaves
on the house.
155
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,096
Aw, slaves? You shouldn't ha...
156
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,223
I can't own my friends.
157
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,059
I swore a sacred oath
to free them.
158
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,897
For a woman to have
any voice in this world,
159
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:24,109
it would have to come out
of her husband's stupid mouth.
160
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:27,237
My love, you are so noble
161
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,990
to take on the backbreaking work
of four men,
162
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,199
day in, day out,
163
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,076
no matter how poor and hungry
164
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,495
it shall leave you.
165
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:38,999
Look, fellas, no one honors
oaths more than me.
166
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,542
No one.
167
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,856
Just give me a little time
till we get on our feet,
168
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,379
then I'll totally free you.
169
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,506
Management thanks you
for your patience.
170
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,634
And, so, in choosing
greed over loyalty,
171
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,345
the young couple
began their rise to power...
172
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,557
And their fall from grace.
173
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,019
Well, now I feel stupid
getting them a wedding gift.
174
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,174
Obeseus entered
the second act of his life
175
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,592
running the dirty,
bloody business
176
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,218
given to him
by his father-in-law...
177
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,117
A laundromat.
178
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,975
In ancient rome,
clothes were washed
179
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,751
with ammonia, which
is derived from human urine.
180
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,920
What's up, dad?
181
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,212
How's the whiz biz?
182
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,632
Mellow and yellow.
183
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,258
Why is the store closed?
184
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,551
It's only noon.
185
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,887
Me and the fellas
are all peed out.
186
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:37,182
How am I supposed to make things
clean without human waste?
187
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,162
This business has been
failing for years
188
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,436
because you've been
phoning it in.
189
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,104
Figure it out.
190
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,941
Hey, uh, "boss"?
191
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,234
We came up with an idea that
192
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,486
could increase ammonia
production.
193
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,072
All you got to do is put
these jugs outside of taverns,
194
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,199
and you'll get
your urinus gratis.
195
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,494
Crowdsourcing
a streaming service, eh?
196
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,704
I'm a genius!
197
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,957
* *
198
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,126
Stealing the idea
of his indentured friends,
199
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,170
obeseus was soon flush
200
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,733
in liquid assets.
201
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,443
And he was able
to move his family
202
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,468
to the more prosperous
side of town.
203
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,415
Lennus, I'm fatigued.
204
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,949
Yawn for me?
205
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,672
Obeseus, we gave you
the idea that made you rich.
206
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,924
How about making good
on your promise,
207
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,718
and freeing us now?
208
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,803
Guys, guys, guys,
thank you so much
209
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,305
for bringing this up.
210
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,557
I'm really lucky
to own friends like you.
211
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,767
Tell you what,
I'll have my accountant
212
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,872
crunch the letters,
and we'll circle back.
213
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,104
The important thing is
214
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,523
we started a conversation.
215
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,443
* *
216
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,363
and now let us
thank lord jupiter
217
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,908
for a bountiful harvest
by draining the blood
218
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,078
of this baby goat.
219
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,081
Aw, these seats suck.
220
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,292
Can't even see
the entrails from here.
221
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,503
Well, they save all
the best seats for the senators.
222
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,923
Hmm.
223
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,718
What if you became a senator?
224
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,220
Think about how much
more respected we'd be.
225
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,098
I don't know.
It sounds like a lot of work.
226
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,933
Sitting there all day,
227
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,519
listening, voting on stuff
with my thumb.
228
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,979
But think of the perks.
229
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,690
You'll get invited
to fancier orgies.
230
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,610
- The kinds with women.
- They have those?
231
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:57,489
And with that, obeseus
marched down the appian way
232
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,616
to plead his case
to the emperor,
233
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,952
confident that he would be
welcomed into the senate.
234
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,581
The pee guy, a senator?
235
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,028
That would be an insult
to the dignity of this office.
236
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:12,087
Now if you'll excuse me,
senator horse and I
237
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,422
are going shopping
for lewd pottery.
238
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,550
Oh...
239
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,803
Stupid emperor.
240
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,264
Thinks he's great
'cause his bangs are so curly.
241
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,351
Oh, majora's gonna be so mad.
242
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,312
I'd do anything to be a senator.
243
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,855
Anything, eh?
244
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,650
You know, as the emperor's
politically adopted son,
245
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,195
I am next in line to the throne
should anything happen to...
246
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,030
daddy.
247
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,825
Like, say, him slipping
and falling back-first
248
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,118
onto a knife.
249
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,704
Oh, that happened to me once.
Sucked.
250
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,331
Kill the emperor
and I'll make you a senator.
251
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,167
Kill the emperor
to become senator?
252
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,378
But what's in it for me?
253
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,223
Jacta alea est.
254
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,424
The die was cast.
255
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,468
* when in rome you do
as the romans do *
256
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,930
* you play as the romans
play together. *
257
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,932
Hey, get out of here, you.
258
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,684
This is my private vomitorium
259
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,979
and I've got a belly
full of hot figs.
260
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,940
Come on, you figs.
261
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:21,114
Et... Tu... Pee guy?
262
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,619
History rules!
263
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,330
Poor majora.
264
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,833
She wanted her husband
to be more ambitious,
265
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,626
but not like this.
266
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,795
Well, actually...
267
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,316
Mm-hmm.
268
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,925
Give me a kiss,
you big, stabby go-getter.
269
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,321
Ooh.
270
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,555
I love my job.
271
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,707
Over the next ten years,
272
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,791
senator obeseus' power
grew vastly,
273
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,273
as did his toga size.
274
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,692
And majora reveled
in the high status,
275
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,152
hosting the town's elite
276
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,821
at her lavish saturnalia party.
277
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:05,700
I love your holiday decorations.
278
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,181
It lets those pesky christians
know they aren't going to win
279
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,038
the war on saturnalia.
280
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,623
So, noble slaves,
281
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,084
what gift do you desire
from your benevolent master?
282
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,712
Uh... Our friggin' freedom.
283
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,298
Yeah, well,
the thing about that is...
284
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,385
Why do we even bother
asking anymore?
285
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,927
He's never gonna free us.
286
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,554
This has been
building up for a while:
287
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,367
You give slave owners
a bad name.
288
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,016
What?
289
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,811
- What a giant jerk.
- Ugh, he's the worst.
290
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,688
Dad, bartigula's out of control.
291
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,358
Look what he's doing
to ptolemaic book guy.
292
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,985
- Ow.
- Why are you flaying yourself?
293
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,154
- Ow!
- Why are you flaying yourself?
294
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,031
An interesting paradox.
295
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,368
For does free will
truly exist or... Ow!
296
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,203
Growing up rich and spoiled
297
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,914
has turned your son
into a monster.
298
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,082
It's not my fault.
299
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,792
I never spend any time with him.
300
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,461
Aw.
301
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,797
My son's a maniac.
My daughter's not a son.
302
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,091
My slaves hate me
for some reason.
303
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,343
Heavy lies the head
304
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,721
that wears the wig
of curly bangs.
305
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:09,849
Mm.
306
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,641
I'm spent.
307
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:15,603
Just gonna take a bath in warm
donkey milk and go to sleep.
308
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,523
I can't believe the emperor
didn't even come to my party.
309
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,317
He wouldn't even be emperor
if not for you.
310
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,005
Yeah, well, what do you want me
to do about it...
311
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,779
Kill the emperor?
312
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,490
Well, if that's what you want.
313
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,909
You can even
use the present I got you.
314
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,911
Sweet jumpin' jupiter!
315
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,204
What more do you want?
316
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,622
We started at the bottom
317
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,208
and now we're
one rung from the top.
318
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,752
It's a natural stopping point.
319
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,921
Will you never be satisfied?
320
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,215
Pardon me, senator.
321
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,719
I'm sorry you find my ambition
so distasteful.
322
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,970
Just remember:
323
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,557
Power comes to those
who take it.
324
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,394
Mmm.
325
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,855
Aw, yeah. Yeah.
326
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,899
Milk, milk, milk.
327
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,234
* *
328
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,403
to the roman empire.
329
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,823
May it last forever,
in some strange form or another.
330
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,658
Ooh.
331
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,493
Can't be too careful these days.
332
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,120
Oh, taster.
333
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,433
Poison.
334
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,335
Some has tried to kill me.
335
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,062
You didn't?
336
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,796
You wouldn't.
337
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,799
When I find whoever did this,
I will crush them like a...
338
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,100
the emperor is dead!
339
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,686
Who will nominate his successor?
340
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,814
Friends, romans, countrymen.
341
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,441
That's me.
342
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,109
We deserve an emperor who can
343
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,654
boldly lead us into the future.
344
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,822
My son, bartigula.
345
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,532
Wha?!
346
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,160
He was born rich,
347
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,788
so he got to be good
at business.
348
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,665
Bartigula!
349
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,377
Bartigula! Bartigula!
350
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:05,254
Bartigula!
351
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,591
And so began the reign
of bartigula the jerk.
352
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,469
Eager to expand the empire,
he declared war
353
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,472
on neptune, god of the sea.
354
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,683
Despite some early victories,
355
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,644
thousands drowned.
356
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,689
Bartigula blamed
the troubles of rome
357
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,316
on foreign invaders.
358
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:29,112
So he built a large and
expensive wall to keep them out.
359
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,655
Awk, who needs ya?
360
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,490
Ya carthage-sacking
361
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,909
aqueduct guzzlers.
362
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,223
And finally,
to silence his critics,
363
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,665
bartigula dissolved the senate.
364
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,251
Aah!
365
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,216
The young emperor had
gone mad with power.
366
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,922
And syphilis.
367
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,507
Listen up, rome-wads.
368
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,842
The empire's in crisis,
369
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,613
the economy's
in the crapatorium,
370
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,721
and neptune's
kicking our butts, somehow.
371
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,723
I now realize...
372
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,934
I can no longer be your emperor.
373
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,061
Oh. Phew.
374
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,813
Because I am now your god!
375
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,358
That's it. I'm taking a stand.
376
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,154
My son isn't a god.
377
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,239
He's just
an entitled little psycho.
378
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,700
Society must come to its senses
379
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,952
and overthrow this madman!
380
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,288
- Uh... Uh...
- Hmm. I don't know.
381
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,582
Blasphemy! Seize him!
382
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,044
For your heresy, father,
I sentence you
383
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,337
to be eaten by the lions.
384
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,508
Hmm.
We're gonna need more lions.
385
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,302
Why are we here?
386
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,589
They said I could bring
a couple of belongings.
387
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,974
Hey, this is where we made
our freedom pact, remember?
388
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,102
The one you refused to honor
for 20 years.
389
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,188
Not freeing you guys
390
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,815
was the first worst thing
I ever did,
391
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,069
but I hereby decree you
to be emancipated.
392
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,571
Now face the dawn as free men.
393
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,991
We're in a jail cell, you dope.
394
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,370
Father, we have
to get you out of the city.
395
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,247
Hurry, and you can still escape.
396
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,957
No, I'm not going to run.
397
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,751
Because you physically can't?
398
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,711
Yes, mostly, but also
399
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:12,173
because we have to stop
bartigula and save the republic.
400
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,675
Are you fellas with me?
401
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,636
Uh... No.
402
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,432
Oh.
403
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,496
Though he had lost everything,
404
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,563
obeseus still had the heart
of a warrior.
405
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,775
Looks like hannibal's
missing an elephant.
406
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,175
Oh, yeah.
407
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,659
All hail the living god.
408
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,536
We who are about to die
409
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,788
salute you.
410
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,597
Oh!
411
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,211
You dare show me
your moon flaps?
412
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,923
I will teach this old fool
who is the true gluteus maximus.
413
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,425
Bartigula, no!
414
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,719
There, in front of all rome,
415
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,557
father and son
engaged in bloody battle.
416
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,081
Bartigula was fast,
417
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,564
but obeseus was fatter.
418
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:18,114
Kill the god! Kill the god!
419
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,576
Obe, please spare our boy.
420
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,077
What?
421
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,622
Sic semper this, you fat load.
422
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,584
Why, you littleus...
423
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,382
no!
424
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,801
My life is over.
425
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,680
I failed rome,
was a less-than-perfect father.
426
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,223
Worst of all,
427
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,185
I really
screwed over my friends.
428
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,353
May the... Gods...
429
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,272
Forgive me.
430
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,776
I poisoned everything I loved
431
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,778
with my boundless ambition.
432
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,656
My family is no more.
433
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,036
Mom, what about me?
434
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,080
We never really... Clicked.
435
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,292
With that, the match was lit
436
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,753
that would burn rome
to the ground...
437
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,755
400 years later.
438
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,049
Haw-haw!
439
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,928
Who knew
history could be so sad?
440
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,222
The moral
of that story is clear:
441
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,891
Marge is wrong
and ambition is terrible.
442
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:30,353
No, no, no. The lesson
is that the unchecked lust
443
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,854
for money and power can bring
444
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,440
a once-great nation to ruin.
445
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,193
Does anyone think it was weird
that dad killed me?
446
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,445
Don't blame me.
Blame your mother.
447
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,198
I just wanted you to go to
one lousy training seminar.
448
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,553
Did you not even listen
to the old guy's story about...
449
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,121
when will humanity ever learn...
450
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:53,084
To stop letting stupid people
into museums?
451
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,529
- they're missing
the whole point.
452
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:03,864
If rome had kept worshipping us,
everything would have been fine.
453
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,554
Get over it, dad.
454
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,849
You always get so worked up
whenever you watch the mortals.
455
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,226
Can we change the channel?
456
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,852
This show sucks now.
457
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:15,564
Yeah, it's totally gone
off the rails since season 2016.
458
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,650
I know, but I want
to see how it ends.
459
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,986
Definitely feels
like they're wrapping it up.
460
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,405
Any day now.
462
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,748
* when in rome
you do like the romans do *
463
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,460
* you play like
the romans play together *
464
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,921
* you're all invited,
so right this way *
465
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,717
* you're gonna
meet the roman holidays. *
32184
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
