All language subtitles for S3E16-BigPineLodge_Subttulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

[chuckles]
This weekend.

Boy.

Top of the morning
to you, Ed.

And the bottom
of it to you, Wilbur.

Well, somebody's
feeling very chipper today.

I'm excited, Wilbur.

My favorite niece
is coming to town.

Is she coming alone
or with your brother?

She's a race horse.

Here's a picture
of her in the paper.

Let me have a look.

Hey, she's beautiful.

Yeah. The spitting
image of me.

Let's have a look.

Yes, there is
quite a resemblance.

Where?
Around my eyes?

No, around your legs.
You both have four of them.

- Read the story, Wilbur.
- Okay.

"Colonel William Bradford
will arrive at Hollywood Park

this weekend with his promising
two-year-old Edwina."

This is exciting, Ed.

I hope your niece
wins her race.

Is she fast?

Fast? When she was born,
she beat the stork in

by four lengths.

It's too bad you won't be
in town this weekend.

We could watch her run.

Whoa, boy.

Who won't be in town?

Carol and I are going
to Pine Lake Lodge,

and you're going with us.

My niece will expect
to see me, Wilbur.

We're a very close family.

Ed...

She's never been
away from home before,

and I promised my brother

I'd look after her
here in Hollywood.

Oh, come on, Ed.

You love Pine Lake Lodge,
you know?

Remember the fun
we had last year

with that big sleigh
that we rented?

Yeah, some fun.

You just sat there.
I did all the pulling.

Sorry, but we are not
leaving you here alone.

And horse-sitters
are hard to find.

But Edwina
needs her Uncle Eddie

to keep an eye on her.

She's just a small-town
filly in a big, wicked city.

Oh, stop worrying.

Nothing is going
to happen to her.

Suppose she meets
one of those fast Hollywood horses?

Wilbur, we've never had
a scandal in our family.

I don't want to
discuss this anymore.

Tomorrow, I'm hitching
your little trailer to the back of our car,

and you are going
to Pine Lake Lodge with us.

Now eat your breakfast.

Come on, Ed,
eat your breakfast.

Okay, okay.
I'll clean it up.

Wilbur, I just
called the lodge.

No snow.

But the clerk said
that the ski slope at Thompson's Peak

is in perfect condition.

Oh, great. I hope
I have better luck than I had last year.

Remember coming down
that long hill,

I slid 50 feet
on my skis,

and 50 feet
on the seat of my pants.

Then another 50 feet.

How about the Addisons?

Have they made up
their mind about joining us?

No, they're still
battling it out.

Same old story, huh?

Rog wants to go,
but Kay insists on coming along.

Oh, Wilbur.

Hello. Is this
Hollywood Park?

[Man]
Yes, sir.

May I talk, sir,
to Edwina's trainer?

Hello.

This is
Colonel William Bradford, sir.

Hello, Colonel Bradford, sir.

How did my little filly
take the trip?

Oh, fine, Colonel.

She was a little sluggish
in her workout today,

but I finally got her
to respond to the whip.

The whip?

You listen here, Yankee.

These are my orders.

No whips, no spurs,
and skinny jockeys.

Yes, Colonel.

And one more thing, sir.

What horses you all got
in the stalls right next to her?

She's right in between
Lover Boy and Casanova.

Oh, no!

Something wrong, Colonel?

You change her stall, sir.

Put her between a couple
of nice old lady horses from Pasadena.

What's going on?

Uh-oh.

Oh, Wilbur, I'm worried
about my little niece.

Do I have to go
to Pine Lake?

What are you worried about?
Nothing can happen to her.

Between Casanova
and Lover Boy.

I should be down there
teaching her judo.

Well, Kay, I've packed
all my gear, and I'm ready.

We are not going.

That's what I'm ready for--
our argument.

You can put all that stuff
back in the garage.

Oh, now, darling,
come on.

There's nothing
more exhilarating

than skiing down
a snowy slope

with the wind in your hair
and a touch of Jack Frost in your cheek.

Last year, you never
set foot outside that lodge.

All you did
was sit there and play cards.

So I played
a few hands of poker.

A few hands?

You were glued so long
to that card table,

we had to feed you
through a tube.

But, darling,
don't forget, I won $38.20.

I hardly saw you
the whole three days.

People thought I was
a lonely widow up there looking for a man.

- I'm sorry.
- So am I.

Sorry I couldn't find one.

Come to think of it,
so am I.

- What?
- Sorry.

Now, darling, let's go.

Let's go up there
and have a wonderful time.

We'll make it
a second honeymoon.

No thanks.

It's hard to cuddle up
to a man who's trying to fill an inside straight.

All right, I'll admit
that last year,

I might have been
a little inconsiderate.

But this year,
I promise you,

I will not leave your side
during our entire vacation.

- Promise?
- We'll be the Bobbsey Twins.

- All right, doll.
- Wonderful.

You go upstairs
and pack.

Fine.

But I warn you--
you get into one poker game up there,

and this little joker
is going to lose his queen.

We got to check out
of this pneumonia trap, Joe.

I don't think
anyone around here ever heard of poker.

How about those
two fellas over there?

They're playing chess.

Stiffs. I tried
to set them up

for a friendly little game
after lunch.

No luck, huh?

The guy with the glasses
wanted to play...

for matches.

How about the other one?

He doesn't smoke.

Oh, easy, honey.
Don't trip.

All right, darling.
This way. That's right.

Watch the door.
Come in.

That's a girl.
Take it easy.

Addison, you could
give me a hand.

Darling, I told you
my hands were frozen.

You've got gloves on.

Well, nice to see you
again, folks.

We have your rooms
all ready for you.

Fine. How about
my horse's sleeping quarters?

The horse?

Yes, we can give him
the same stall he had last year, Mr. Post.

Fine.

No, I don't think
he was happy with that.

Do you have something
overlooking the lake?

My horse would like
a room with a view.

Over...

I'll try to get
something, yes, sir.

Also, the stall
didn't have a plug-in socket.

Plug-in socket?

My horse sleeps with
an electric blanket.

He gets kind of cold
during the night in the feet.

Yes, it does--

Why didn't you buy him
some Dr. Dentons?

Maybe they didn't
have his size.

A suggestion.

Get a king-sized bed,
and let him sleep between you.

I'll put him
in that stall.

Yes, that will
be nice, sir.

While we're sleeping
under an electric blanket,

our horse's feet
will be freezing.

Sign, please.

[cards shuffling]

Oh, no.

No, Mr. Addison.
Actually, I haven't been playing poker too long.

Either have I.
I never could quite get the hang of it.

It's a very simple game.
You'll love it.

You see, two pair
beat one pair.

But three of a kind
beat two pair.

Now, gentlemen,
perhaps later, we can--

we can take a walk
out in the air together.

Darling. I want you to meet
Mr. Haskell and Mr. Johnson.

Gentlemen, this is
Mrs. Addison.

Darling, why don't you
go upstair s and unpack?

I'll join you later.

You'll excuse us.

We're on
our second honeymoon.

The both of us.

Come, dear.

You see, two pair
beats one pair.

It's a miracle.

It's too cold up here
for eagles,

but I think
we found ourselves a nice, little pigeon.

Operator.

Hello, operator.

Get me the Hollywood Park
race track.

This is Wilbur Post.
Charge it to my room.

They say there's plenty of snow
on Thompson's Peak.

It's just seven miles away.

Why don't we stay here
and have it delivered?

Oh, Mr. Addison?

Excuse me, Wilbur.
Here.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Mr. Addison, I wonder
if you'd help us settle a little argument.

Does a straight
beat a full house?

Certainly not.

There, you see, Joe.
That last pot's mine. You owe me five dollars.

It's only money.

Fortunately,
my hardware store is doing well.

Deal, Joe, deal.

It's no fun
playing two-handed.

He's right,
absolutely right.

Now, gentlemen, if I can
lose my wife,

I'll join you later.

Do you think that's
quite the proper thing to do?

No, but I'll do it.

Pardon me, gentlemen.

I'm expecting a backache.

Thank you so much.

Hi.

Well, how do you like it?

Beautiful. What kept
you kids so long?

Each year, it takes me
a little bit longer

to get into
my stretch pants.

How do you like
my outfit?

Yeah, no doubt about it.

You are a girl.

Then you like it?

What are we waiting for?

Come on, it's
a beautiful day for skiing.

- Rog, what's the matter?
- Sprained my sacroiliac.

I guess we can
forget about skiing.

No, please, you folks
go right ahead and enjoy yourself.

I'll just stay here and--

Play poker.

Play poker--

No, that's not true.

My sacroiliac
is really acting up.

Acting is right.

I think it deserves
an Oscar.

Addison, if you're
pulling this

so you can sit around
and play cards...

That is not true.

Don't you believe me?

Wilbur, you believe me,
don't you?

Oh, yes, certainly.

This man
is really suffering.

Just take one look.

Anybody can tell
that he's trying to bear up

under excruciating agony.

No Oscar for me
either, huh?

Kay, Roger does look
a little pale.

Why don't you both
go out and enjoy yourselves?

I'll stay here
and make sure that he doesn't play cards.

No, no, Kay.
You go ahead.

I'll take care of him.

I'll take him upstairs
and put him into bed,

give him a little rubdown,
a little heat,

and if necessary,
I'll operate.

Let's go.

- Oh, well, all right.
- Good.

I'm depending
on you, Wilbur.

Don't worry.
I'm a great watchdog.

If he tries to play poker,
I'll bite him on the leg.

Take care of
yourself, doll.

Thanks, darling.

- Have a good time.
- See you later.

And don't forget
to watch him, Rover.

[barks]

Come on, Kay.

We'll go up
that first hill.

Wait. Where you going?

To play poker, of course.

Kay told me
to keep an eye on you.

I release you
from your promise.

If you play poker,
Kay will never speak to me again.

If you don't take
your hand off my arm,

I'll never
speak to you again.

Mr. Post?

I'd like to verify
this long-distance call was made last night.

Long-distance call?

Yeah, Hollywood Park.

Charges are $19.45.

When I get through with him,

he'll be talking out of
the other side of his feedbag.

Ed, that was
a terrible thing you did--

sneaking into
the lobby last night

and making a phone call
without my permission.

Please. Do I bother you
when you're eating?

You listen to me
when I am talking to you.

Don't take away
my food, Wilbur.

I'm a growing horse.

And you're growing
into a nuisance.

I know you're worried
about your niece.

Hey, her trainer says
Edwina's in great shape.

Maybe you ought to make
a bet on her.

You know I'm not
a gambling man.

Gambling. Roger.

Oh, no.

Ten, and ten more.

I call.

I fold.

Three nines.

Three jacks.
I win again.

I can't understand
my luck today.

I can't understand it,
either.

That's the sixth pot
in a row I've lost.

I never win
when I play at home.

What's your address?
I'll call us a cab.

I like you, Mr. Addison.

You lose with
a sense of humor.

I think
I'll change my seat.

That moth-eaten elk
is jinxing me.

Looks like
my mother-in-law.

Roger, I promised Kay
I wouldn't let you play.

Rog, you're going to get
yourself in terrible trouble, believe me.

By me.

I open for five.

- I call.
- I call.

Gambling is a terrible thing.
It's a disease.

Oh, fine, you start
to play. Fine.

Then you lose.

Now you want to get even,
so you start throwing good money after bad.

First thing you know,
you are hooked.

Bet ten.

I call.

It's an evil thing, Rog.

I call.

Call? With those cards?
We raise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we raise.

Pass me.

I call...
and I raise you ten.

What are you waiting for?

With a hand like that,
you've got to go all the way.

There you are, gentlemen.

A beautiful full house.

Three aces
and a pair of kings.

Gee, I'm sorry,
Mr. Addison,

but I have
four little deuces.

I begged you
not to gamble.

Thanks to you,
I've lost my shirt.

And your wife.

So you sprained
your sacroiliac, huh?

But, darling, my back...

Wilbur, why did you
let him play?

Yeah. Why did you
let me play?

It's your fault.
You let me let you.

You know
what a weakling he is.

Yeah, you know
what a weakling I am.

I'm leaving here
first thing in the morning.

Now see what you've done.

Wilbur, you really were
supposed to keep an eye on him.

I had to go and see Ed.

Ed again.

If you love horses so much,
why didn't you marry a horse?

And no wisecracks.

Well, we certainly
nailed that pigeon...

for 110 bucks.

Too bad we didn't
have more time.

That Addison
is the softest touch we've had

since the cops
ran us out of Denver.

Those signals we worked out
with the cigars

beats marked cards, huh?

Yeah. I hate marked cards.
That's cheating.

That Post guy
looks pretty stupid.

Think he's a pigeon?

I can taste
the squab right now.

I find that
hard to believe.

Those two men
looked so honest.

I heard it
with my own ears.

Oh, those dirty crooks.

I wish there was some way
of getting Rog's money back.

If I told you a way,
would you take me home to my niece tomorrow?

Yes, I would.
What have you got in mind?

Why don't we make up
our own signals and get them in a game?

Oh, Ed, they'd never
play poker with a horse.

They won't even
know I'm there.

What do you have in mind?

Well, you know that...

I feel pretty ridiculous.

Ed, you look fine.

Now if you'll just
hold your head up close to those horns,

you'll look like
a real elk.

But the part of me
that's sticking out in the kitchen

is still horse.

Look, Ed, they'll be
down here any minute.

Let's run through
those signals, shall we?

If they're bluffing,
you wink your eye.

If they've got two pair,
three of a kind,

you move your ears.

If they got
better than that, stick your tongue out.

You understand it?

Are you kidding?
I made those signals up.

I bet five.

I call.

I call, and I raise 20.

I call.

If you bet 20, you must have
a strong hand. I'm out.

What have you got?

A pair of deuces.

Not quite good enough.

Pair of threes.

A pair of threes?

How come you called me
with a pair of threes?

I had a hunch
you were bluffing.

I open for ten.

I raise it. Ten.

I'm out.

I'm out.

You went out
with a straight?

I just had a feeling
I wasn't going to win this hand.

I had a pat full house.

You must be
a mind reader.

Let me give you a tip.

You haven't got
a good poker face.

Oh, you got
a good rummy face,

but you got
a terrible poker face.

These chips get heavy
after a while, don't they?

It's like he knows
every card we've got.

Well, boys,
I am $110 ahead.

Exactly what
Mr. Addison lost.

You can cash me in.

I was going to make
some coffee.

Would you fellas
like to have some?

- No, thank you.
- No, no.

Okay.

What are you
doing in here? Get out.

Get out of here.

I don't want you
in here.

Come on, out of here.

It's a horse.

A horse?
What horse?

You fellas have been
playing too long.

There's no horse
up there.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Here we are, Ed.

Feels good to be home, huh?

If it feels
so good to be home,

why'd you go away?

Come on now.
Don't be such a grouch.

On the way home
in the car,

I put the radio on,
didn't I?

You heard your niece
win her first race.

Bless her little heart.

You know why
Edwina won that race?

Why?

'Cause she's so pretty,

those other horses
were chasing her so they could smooch.

Could be, could be.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways presentation.