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1
00:00:01,885 --> 00:00:03,503
[whinnies]
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:07,306
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
3
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,812
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:13,813 --> 00:00:15,981
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,600
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,768
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
7
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,403
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:21,404 --> 00:00:23,022
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,107
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,275
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
11
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,910
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,923
That's terrific, Ed.
How do you do it?
13
00:00:40,924 --> 00:00:43,092
Clean living.
14
00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:45,261
I can't get a card in
today.
15
00:00:45,261 --> 00:00:46,879
Wonder what I'm doing wrong.
16
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,514
Missing the hat, mostly.
17
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,133
Come on, give me a hint.
18
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,767
Look, am I
holding the card wrong?
19
00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:53,936
Yes, you sure are.
20
00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:55,555
Well, how should I hold it?
21
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,723
Like me, in your mouth.
22
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,358
In my mouth?
23
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:03,146
Yeah, but try to keep
your lips dry.
24
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:08,034
I couldn't do any worse.
Lips dry, huh?
25
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,202
Uh-huh.
26
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,371
Mm-hmm, uh-huh.
27
00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:19,962
Hey!
28
00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:28,087
The trick is to try
to keep your lips dry.
29
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,172
With the price of wigs
these days,
30
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,340
how can you afford
to keep flipping yours?
31
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,509
Well, I mean,
we were just--
32
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,678
I, I had to, uh--
What's new, Rog?
33
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,931
If we may return
to the world of sanity
34
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,566
for just a moment,
I'd like to ask a favor of you.
35
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,651
Well, sure, what is it?
36
00:01:41,651 --> 00:01:43,269
You know our wives
are involved
37
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,988
in this ridiculous community
theatrical project?
38
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:47,073
What about it?
39
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,691
This year, it's going to be
a variety show,
40
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,859
and the husbands are
going to be asked to perform.
41
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:55,197
Now when Carol asks you,
please say no.
42
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,366
Then Kay won't have any argument
to use against me.
43
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,001
I don't know, Rog,
44
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:00,620
I find it very hard
to say no to Carol.
45
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,339
Why? I say no to my wife
all the time.
46
00:02:03,339 --> 00:02:04,957
All right.
Bring your wife over,
47
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,042
and I'll say no to her.
48
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,676
You're a real friend.
49
00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:09,845
I don't know whose.
Certainly not mine.
50
00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:11,464
Oh relax, Rog.
51
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,632
I don't intend to be
in that variety show
52
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,267
any more than you do.
53
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,886
You mean
we're together in this?
54
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,520
Like two musketeers.
55
00:02:18,521 --> 00:02:19,605
All for one?
56
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,139
And one for all.
57
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,224
Side by side?
58
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,308
Through thick and thin.
59
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,027
It sounds great,
but I don't believe it.
60
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:32,985
No, Kay,
I haven't asked Wilbur
61
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,620
to perform on the show.
62
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,239
He'd only turn me down.
63
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,407
I'm going to use
the same system I used
64
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,576
to get him
to propose to me.
65
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,661
Hmm?
66
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,295
Well, I kept avoiding
the subject of marriage
67
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:47,083
and he had to marry me
to find out what was on my mind.
68
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,251
Meanwhile,
you work on Addison.
69
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,336
[Wilbur]
Oh, Carol?
70
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:54,673
Oh! Oh, Myrtle,
that's a wonderful idea.
71
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,842
Just the kind of act
our show needs.
72
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:57,927
Oh, I'm sure the audience
73
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,646
will just love
your husband's bird calls.
74
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,815
Bye.
75
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:03,899
What are you doing, hon?
76
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:06,068
Just lining up
some talent for our show.
77
00:03:06,069 --> 00:03:08,237
Oh, well,
have to scratch my name off.
78
00:03:08,238 --> 00:03:09,856
It's not on.
79
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,109
I'm too loaded with work
to be--
80
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:14,743
It's not on?
81
00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:17,446
Let's see, Jack Langdon,
tap dancing.
82
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,700
Look, I'd love to help out,
honey, but--
83
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,419
Paul and Ruth Henning,
hand balancing act.
84
00:03:23,419 --> 00:03:25,037
--I've just got
too much work to do.
85
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,757
Sure, Wilbur, that's okay.
86
00:03:27,757 --> 00:03:31,544
I hope you're not sore at me
for not volunteering, huh?
87
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,263
Of course not, Wilbur,
I know you can't do anything.
88
00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:38,051
Well, I like that.
89
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,770
I can do a lot of things
if I had the time.
90
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:44,023
Well, I wouldn't
want to embarrass you.
91
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:48,360
George and Gladys Stamel,
twin pianos.
92
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,529
I'm a little worried
about that.
93
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,698
♪
94
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,401
Wilbur, will you please
stop that racket!
95
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,569
I can't concentrate.
96
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,204
Sorry, dear.
97
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:01,373
Thought I'd get
some practicing in, that's all.
98
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:03,542
Oh, honey, do you know
Freddy Hutchins' number?
99
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,161
His wife just told me
100
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,329
that he developed
the most wonderful magic act.
101
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,583
He developed?
That is my routine!
102
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,217
I taught that fellow
everything he knows.
103
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,386
I mean, the changing color
handkerchiefs,
104
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,555
the disappearing birdcage,
that's mine.
105
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,174
The pulling the cigarettes
out of the ear.
106
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,808
Look, if anybody does that act,
that's gonna be me.
107
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:21,427
All right, Wilbur,
108
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,061
I'll put you down
for three minutes of magic.
109
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:26,315
Three-- Look, I take bows
for longer than three minutes.
110
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:28,484
That act takes a half an hour.
111
00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:29,568
Half an hour?
112
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:30,653
All right,
I'll do 45 minutes,
113
00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:34,440
but not a second more.
I don't want to hog the--
114
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,608
Who'd you pick to emcee?
115
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,243
We haven't picked anyone yet.
116
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,862
Well, I'll take care
of that, honey.
117
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,496
You know, I'll fill
a little bit between the acts
118
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:43,115
while people are changing
their costumes, you know.
119
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,750
Don't worry about a thing,
sweetheart,
120
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,919
I'll put on
a really big show.
121
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:48,537
Really big. Hmm-hmm!
122
00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,466
[laughing]
123
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,634
No kidding?
124
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,354
And he's decided to emcee it.
125
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:09,142
Emcee it? He's already
planning the road tour.
126
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,310
No, I didn't have to
talk him into it.
127
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,945
He was like putty.
128
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:15,113
How are you
making out with Roger?
129
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,901
Still cement.
I'll have to hang up now.
130
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,069
Here comes Gravel Gertie.
131
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:24,874
Hello, my dear.
132
00:05:24,874 --> 00:05:29,211
Good morning, doll.
133
00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:30,830
Comfy?
134
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,464
Cozy.
135
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,055
Doll?
136
00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:42,224
I will not appear
in your show.
137
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:48,180
You know, there's a lot
of your mother in you.
138
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,193
Sweetie, you play a beautiful
ukulele, couldn't you--
139
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,828
- No.
- But, doll,
140
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,997
all the other husbands
are doing something.
141
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,081
Why won't you?
142
00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:06,615
I will.
143
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,250
Good.
144
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:10,953
I'll go to bed early
that night.
145
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,587
Besides, you're being a trifle
inaccurate when you say
146
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:14,756
"All the other husbands
are performing."
147
00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:16,925
Wilbur, for one,
feels the same as I do.
148
00:06:16,926 --> 00:06:22,348
If Wilbur would agree
to perform, would you too?
149
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:23,432
Of course.
150
00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,686
Well, then tune up
your ukulele, Daddy-o.
151
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,388
You're in showbiz.
152
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,529
That one.
153
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:40,232
No, that one.
154
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,867
I certainly appreciate
your helping me
155
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,036
rehearse this magic trick, Ed.
156
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:45,654
[Ed laughing]
157
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,739
What are you laughing at?
158
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,907
Well, for a guy who wasn't
gonna be in that show,
159
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,627
you're doing everything
but print the tickets.
160
00:06:51,627 --> 00:06:53,245
You just forget about that.
161
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,880
Now, come on, let's try
the trick again.
162
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,499
I put the ball
under the middle cup.
163
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,583
[Roger]
Wilbur!
164
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,751
In here, Rog.
165
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,343
Hi, Rog.
166
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,427
I was just working on
a little magic trick.
167
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,062
This is my cup and ball
routine.
168
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,680
You see, you put the ball
under the middle cup
169
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,400
and you-- How's Kay?
That's nice, Rog.
170
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,102
Two musketeers?
171
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,271
One of them is named
Benedict Arnold.
172
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,906
I had no choice.
173
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:25,778
Carol started begging me,
and then she began crying and--
174
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:29,581
Because of you, I'm going to
have to play the ukulele.
175
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:32,835
Good. We need a comedy spot.
176
00:07:32,835 --> 00:07:33,919
Comedy?
177
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,538
Well, I've heard you play
178
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:39,875
and it's strictly for laughs.
[chuckling] Isn't it?
179
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,212
Oh, Rog, you don't
have to perform.
180
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,932
I'll get you out of it.
I'll just do some more magic.
181
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:51,804
As a magician,
all you could make disappear is the audience.
182
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,888
Well, you don't
have to get angry.
183
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,523
I mean, you can still
get out of it.
184
00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:57,777
Just tell Kay the truth.
Tell her you have no talent.
185
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,395
After that snide remark,
186
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:03,732
nothing could stop me
from performing.
187
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,367
And don't follow my act.
188
00:08:05,368 --> 00:08:07,536
There's nothing more pathetic
189
00:08:07,537 --> 00:08:09,155
than a turkey
trying to follow a peacock.
190
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,043
♪
191
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,140
Well,
don't bruise your hands.
192
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,393
Oh, I liked it, doll.
I think it's a great act.
193
00:08:31,394 --> 00:08:34,096
But, shouldn't you
cut it down a bit?
194
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,815
Cut it down?
It only runs a minute and ten seconds now.
195
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,518
It seemed much longer.
196
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,238
I mean, doll,
the important thing is
197
00:08:42,238 --> 00:08:44,406
that you'll be taking part
in our show.
198
00:08:44,407 --> 00:08:45,491
Is it really so vital
199
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,659
if Wilbur
gets more applause than you?
200
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,913
No, I'll just kill myself
if he does.
201
00:08:50,913 --> 00:08:52,531
Well then, why don't we
do the act together
202
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,700
that we did
in the amateur show?
203
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,419
You remember, you play
and I'll perform with you.
204
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,588
Oh, no, no, no.
That wouldn't be good enough.
205
00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:01,757
You thought
we were pretty good then.
206
00:09:01,757 --> 00:09:04,459
That was 20 years
and 30 pounds ago.
207
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,094
Oh, come on.
Let's try it, doll.
208
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:08,263
You sit over there.
209
00:09:08,264 --> 00:09:10,966
Let's see. I'll need these.
210
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,601
♪
211
00:09:12,602 --> 00:09:14,220
Play me a few bars,
will ya, doll?
212
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,388
[Roger]
This better be better than Wilbur's act.
213
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,023
Oh, it will be.
214
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,642
♪
215
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:57,596
Well, hey, you didn't
learn that in college.
216
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,765
No, I didn't. [laughter]
217
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:04,102
Hey, they're pretty good.
I better tell Wilbur.
218
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,356
Lucky for him,
he's got a sneaky horse.
219
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,609
They're good.
220
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,244
Still nothing to
worry about, right, Ed?
221
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,862
Right!
222
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:17,116
My magic act can tTop anything
Rog can come up with, right?
223
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,200
Right!
224
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,834
So Roger plays the ukulele
a little bit
225
00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:22,003
and Kay dances pretty well.
226
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:24,172
Does that mean they're gonna
get more applause than me?
227
00:10:24,173 --> 00:10:26,341
Right!
228
00:10:26,342 --> 00:10:27,960
You're right.
229
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,679
I can't top them with a few
measly little magic tricks.
230
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,848
I need something big,
something really big
231
00:10:32,848 --> 00:10:36,101
that'll knock the audience
ñ6right out of their seats.
232
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,804
How about
blowing up the joint?
233
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,523
Give me time to think,
will ya?
234
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,394
[Ed]
Look at him, walking around
235
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:49,114
like a chicken
with its head cut off.
236
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,536
Head cut off.
237
00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:57,790
Ed, that is a great idea!
238
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,408
What did I say?
What did I say?
239
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,576
One of the greatest
stage effects in magic
240
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,211
is the guillotine trick.
241
00:11:03,212 --> 00:11:04,296
What's that?
242
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,380
Well, the illusion is
243
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:06,999
that you're cutting
somebody's head off.
244
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,083
I'll use my wife.
245
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,252
Spoken like a true husband.
246
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,971
I hate to top Roger,
but he started this,
247
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,140
so I am going all out.
248
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,309
With that guillotine trick?
249
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:22,731
That's right, Ed.
It's on to the Bastille!
250
00:11:22,732 --> 00:11:25,985
Pride goeth before a fall.
251
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,238
I just hope heads don't.
252
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,115
You see how simple
that is, dear?
253
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,200
Now it's your turn.
254
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,834
No, your turn.
255
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,003
Come on, honey,
it won't hurt you.
256
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,622
Didn't help the cabbage.
257
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,256
I already explained that,
dear.
258
00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:49,341
You see,
when you put your head in,
259
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:52,043
I just release these two levers
like that, see?
260
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,678
I turn the blade around.
261
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,932
Then when I shove
the blade down, watch.
262
00:11:56,932 --> 00:11:58,016
It doesn't go
all the way through.
263
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,185
That's just a dummy. Huh?
264
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,804
- Understand?
- Yes.
265
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,438
- [chuckling] Yeah.
- Now you put your head in.
266
00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:06,141
- No!
- Carol.
267
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,226
Look, I'll show you
there's nothing to worry about.
268
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:12,648
Look, try it on me.
269
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,732
Here we are!
270
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,901
Now just release the blade.
271
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,069
Lock it up first.
Come on.
272
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,704
Oh, I don't like this.
273
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,873
Come on.
Release the blade.
274
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:22,958
I can't!
275
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,576
Carol, I've seen this done
a hundred times
276
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,661
at our magic club.
277
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,829
Will you just release the blade?
Come on.
278
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,998
All right.
279
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,224
Wilbur?
280
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,927
Wilbur? Wilbur!
281
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,095
Ha ha ha!
See, I had you fooled.
282
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,730
Isn't this a great illusion?
283
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:46,815
Oh, it makes me
too nervous!
284
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:48,984
I can't stand it! Oh!
285
00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:50,602
Look, Carol,
there is nothing to--
286
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,771
Carol, Carol, wait.
287
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,491
Wait for me, honey,
this is stuck.
288
00:12:55,491 --> 00:12:58,193
Carol!
289
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:02,531
Look, Carol, please,
get me out of this thing.
290
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:09,588
Ed?
291
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:10,672
[Ed, chuckling]
Hi.
292
00:13:10,673 --> 00:13:11,757
Hi.
293
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,459
[Ed laughs]
294
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,263
Where did you get
the crazy necktie?
295
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,882
Forget about that, Ed.
Ed--
296
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,050
[Ed laughs]
297
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,685
--I want you to help me.
298
00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:26,388
See, what happened is
I was showing this off
299
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,107
and it got stuck.
300
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,726
Would you just give this
a whack?
301
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:34,529
Yeah, sure.
302
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:37,232
Watch the ear, will you?
Now the other side.
303
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,317
All right.
304
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,401
Okay?
305
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:43,204
Ah, that got it!
306
00:13:43,205 --> 00:13:45,907
What happened, Houdini?
307
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,627
I thought Carol's head
was gonna be in the chopper.
308
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,245
Well, she chickened out.
309
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,414
On the way over here,
I got a better idea.
310
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,498
A real showstopper.
311
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,583
What's that?
312
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,667
Well, instead of a person,
313
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,387
I'm putting a horse's head
through here.
314
00:13:58,387 --> 00:14:02,174
I'll tell him
when he comes in.
315
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,342
Ed, there's nothing
to be afraid of.
316
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,511
But when the audience sees
a horse in a guillotine,
317
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,596
they'll flip.
318
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,230
Yeah, and so will my head.
319
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,484
Ed, Ed, just a minute.
320
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:15,186
Do you want to see Addison
have a better act than me?
321
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,440
Suddenly, I'm on his side.
322
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,524
Ed, let me in.
323
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,244
This is very--
don't shut the door.
324
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:24,412
This is very important to meú,.
325
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:27,666
Now, it isn't often
I ask a favor of you, Ed.
326
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,919
Would you help me, please?
327
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,173
Well, okay, okay.
328
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:37,960
Who can say no
to a sweet guy like you?
329
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,128
Oh, thanks, Ed.
330
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:44,466
Oh, you're more than a horse.
You're a real human being.
331
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,719
Is that supposed to be
a compliment?
332
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,354
Well, thanks a lot, fella.
333
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:53,142
I'm gonna tell Carol
all about our showstopper.
334
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,776
Thanks, Ed.
335
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,647
Showstopper is right.
336
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,901
I'm putting a stop
to this show right now.
337
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,589
Operator.
338
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,224
Hello, honey.
339
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:30,012
Would you get me
the police department?
340
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,180
Cruelty to animals division.
341
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,855
The guy who called
said to go right to the barn.
342
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,575
Yeah, this must be it.
343
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,277
Okay, Axel, well,
I'll bring it over to your shop this afternoon.
344
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,446
Bye.
345
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,615
Well, Ed, the carpenter
is gonna make that hole bigger
346
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,250
so you can get
your head through.
347
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,335
Thank you.
348
00:15:53,335 --> 00:15:56,037
I was afraid
we'd have to shrink it.
349
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,206
You are amusing, Ed.
350
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,841
Well,
I'll just oil these catches
351
00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:04,179
so they don't stick again.
352
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,601
Are you Mr. Post?
353
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,769
Well, yes, Officer,
what can I do for you?
354
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,472
We got a complaint about
your mistreating a horse.
355
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,557
What?
356
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,725
Something about your
chopping his head off.
357
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,445
Well,
now who would accuse me--
358
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:26,401
Oh, well, that's just some
crank phoning up, you know?
359
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,036
You see,
I'm an amateur magician
360
00:16:28,037 --> 00:16:30,205
and I'm putting on an act for
the community theater project.
361
00:16:30,205 --> 00:16:33,458
Oh, no kidding? My wife and I
are gonna see that show.
362
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,543
Have you bought
your tickets yet?
363
00:16:34,543 --> 00:16:35,627
- No.
- Well, don't do it.
364
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,245
I'll give you
a couple of passes.
365
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,330
Oh.
366
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,583
Here we are.
367
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,667
Oh, thanks.
368
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,752
Don't mention it.
369
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,836
It's a pleasure
to be giving a ticket
370
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,471
to a cop for a change.
371
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,090
[laughter]
372
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,258
Say, how does
this thing work?
373
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,893
Oh, you want to know
how this works, huh?
374
00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:52,978
Yeah.
375
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:54,596
Well, just
take your hat off.
376
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,764
Put your head through here,
and I'll show you.
377
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:57,849
I won't hurt you.
378
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,484
Okay. Right through.
379
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,569
There. Comfortable?
380
00:17:00,569 --> 00:17:02,737
- Like this?
- That's it.
381
00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:04,356
Just settle right in.
Don't be alarmed.
382
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,075
We'll just lock you in there.
383
00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:09,244
There we are.
384
00:17:09,244 --> 00:17:11,412
Put this down here
just in case something happens.
385
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:14,115
[laughter]
386
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,200
Are you ready?
387
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,284
Let her go.
388
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,919
Hold tight.
389
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,088
[laughter]
390
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,173
Quite a trick, huh?
391
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,257
Terrific.
392
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:23,875
Say, this can't
hurt your horse.
393
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:24,960
If you want to use him
in your act,
394
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,679
you go right ahead.
395
00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:34,720
Hey, come back here.
396
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:41,777
Ed, come back, Ed,
Ed, come back here!
397
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:45,030
Hey!
398
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,198
What is that, Charlie?
399
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,901
Never mind.
This thing got stuck.
400
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,155
Get the emergency axe.
401
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:58,043
Well, you sure fixed me.
402
00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:01,296
Addison's got a great act
and I can't top him.
403
00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:02,914
I'm sorry, Wilbur.
404
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,083
I was so afraid
of losing my head
405
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,803
that I lost my head.
406
00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:12,140
Am I still your horsey?
407
00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:13,759
Yes, you're still my horsey.
408
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,478
Ed, what am I gonna do?
I haven't got an act.
409
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:20,815
Well, you're great at making
a handkerchief disappear.
410
00:18:20,816 --> 00:18:23,518
It'll take something bigger
than that to top Addison.
411
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:27,856
Besides, everybody's seen
a handkerchief disappear.
412
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,109
They haven't seen
a horse disappear.
413
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,913
Well, you're about
to see one now.
414
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,616
Come back here, Ed.
415
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,869
Ed, no, come, Ed,
come back here!
416
00:18:42,504 --> 00:18:44,672
♪ ["The Old Folks
at Home" on ukulele]
417
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:57,685
[applause]
418
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,810
Thank you,
Kay and Roger Addison,
419
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,530
for your little number.
420
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:09,614
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
421
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,783
for the highlight
of the evening.
422
00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:14,485
For the first time
on any stage,
423
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,205
I should like to present
a startling illusion--
424
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:19,908
The Disappearing Horse,
425
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:23,711
so called because
I make a horse disappear.
426
00:19:23,712 --> 00:19:27,499
[laughter]
427
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,752
That was just a little joke
to get things rolling.
428
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:34,555
Assistant, my cape, please.
429
00:19:34,556 --> 00:19:37,258
[applause, whistling]
430
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:58,947
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
431
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,666
for the greatest illusion
of all times,
432
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,920
The Disappearing Horse.
433
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:11,426
You will notice
this solid oak box.
434
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,467
It has four solid sides.
435
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:23,355
[knocking]
436
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,439
Absolutely no means--
437
00:20:24,439 --> 00:20:28,226
[laughter]
--absolutely no means of escape
438
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,861
except for
these two front doors
439
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:33,114
which are in full view
all the time.
440
00:20:33,115 --> 00:20:35,817
Now, assistant,
my horse, please.
441
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:39,620
Yes, Wilbur, master.
442
00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:45,576
[wolf whistles]
443
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,745
[nervous laughter]
444
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,718
Thank you.
445
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,224
[laughter]
446
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:02,927
I place the horse
inside the box.
447
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:08,350
Come, horse, inside the box.
448
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,603
Now we close the doors.
Stay in there now, horse.
449
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,322
There we are.
450
00:21:14,323 --> 00:21:19,194
No, stay in there, please.
451
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:22,447
I will now cause the horse
to vanish.
452
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,166
Music, please.
453
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:27,335
Horse, vanish!
454
00:21:29,504 --> 00:21:31,122
[laughter]
455
00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:40,882
There is nothing
to be afraid of.
456
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:44,135
The horse has now vanished.
457
00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:59,317
A little gag. Are you ready?
458
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,952
[Ed coughing]
459
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:02,036
What happened?
460
00:22:02,037 --> 00:22:03,655
You were supposed to
push that partition switch
461
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,823
and go out the back way?
462
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:10,161
How can I see with all that
smoke in my eyes?
463
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,881
Don't fail me this time.
464
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,921
So much for levity.
465
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:21,005
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
466
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,725
if you will keep your eyes
focused on the door.
467
00:22:23,725 --> 00:22:26,427
Music, maestro.
468
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,596
Horse, vanish!
469
00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,440
Ed, what are you doing to me?
470
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:44,863
What if I disappear forever?
I'll never see you again.
471
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,497
Disappear this time,
472
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:49,200
or I'm gonna trade you in
for a cocker spaniel.
473
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:56,257
Now the moment
we've all been waiting for.
474
00:22:56,258 --> 00:23:01,129
And waiting and waiting.
Once again, maestro.
475
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:06,017
Horse, I command you
to disappear!
476
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,777
Ladies and gentlemen,
this horse had better disappear
477
00:23:15,777 --> 00:23:17,945
by the time I count to 3,
478
00:23:17,946 --> 00:23:21,199
or I will demonstrate
my latest illusion--
479
00:23:21,199 --> 00:23:22,817
sawing a horse in half.
480
00:23:41,803 --> 00:23:43,421
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
481
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,141
my disappearing
handkerchief trick.
482
00:23:52,314 --> 00:23:54,482
Listen to this, Ed.
[clearing throat]
483
00:23:54,483 --> 00:23:57,185
Community theater project
smash success.
484
00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,988
Featured were Wilbur Post
and his comedy magic act,
485
00:24:00,989 --> 00:24:02,073
using a horse.
486
00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:04,775
A horse?
487
00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:07,495
Why didn't they
mention my name?
488
00:24:07,496 --> 00:24:09,114
Don't be so sensitive.
489
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,748
What they should have said was
490
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:14,536
"Featuring Mister Ed
and a man."
491
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:17,789
The important thing, Ed,
was the show was a success.
492
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:22,677
Wilbur, I must admit
you were the hit of the evening.
493
00:24:22,677 --> 00:24:24,845
Well, I wouldn't say that,
Rog.
494
00:24:24,846 --> 00:24:27,014
Neither would I.
I thought you were pretty bad.
495
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:34,055
Hear that, Ed?
496
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:35,689
How do you like
that big ham?
497
00:24:35,690 --> 00:24:38,943
You're not exactly
knockwurst yourself.
498
00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:47,618
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
499
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:50,321
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
500
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,956
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
501
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:54,125
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
502
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,293
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
503
00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:57,378
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
504
00:24:57,379 --> 00:24:58,997
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
505
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,631
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
506
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:02,800
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
507
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,969
♪ People yakkity-yaka streak ♪
508
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:07,138
♪ And wasteyour time of day ♪
509
00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:09,306
♪ But Mister Edwill never speak ♪
510
00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:11,475
♪ Unless he hassomething to say ♪
511
00:25:11,476 --> 00:25:13,644
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
512
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:15,813
♪ And this one will talktill his voice is hoarse ♪
513
00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:17,982
♪ You never heardof a talking horse? ♪
514
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:21,769
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
515
00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:24,489
[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
516
00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:27,742
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
517
00:25:27,742 --> 00:25:30,461
[Man]This has beena Filmways presentation.
36705
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