All language subtitles for Nutty.Professor.II.The.Klumps.2000.REMASTERED.1080p.BluRay.x264-PSYCHD

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish Download
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:53,482 Hey Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, happy day 2 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,148 Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, what a happy day 3 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,784 Oh, happy day, happy day Ooh, ooh, ooh 4 00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:01,556 Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, yeah, yeah 5 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,097 Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, what a happy day 6 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,259 Oh, happy day, happy day Yeah, yeah 7 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:12,329 Jesus, Jesus Oh, my Jesus 8 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:16,844 Jesus, Jesus, Oh, my Jesus Wash my sins away 9 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:20,904 Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, yes it is 10 00:01:20,982 --> 00:01:24,349 He taught me how 11 00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:26,410 To walk How to walk 12 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:29,115 Fight and pray 13 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,590 Fight and pray Yeah, yeah 14 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:35,720 And then rejoice happy day, happy day 15 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:43,231 Happy day Oh, oh, oh, oh 16 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:46,239 Ooh! Oh, happy day, happy day 17 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,400 Well, look what rolled in. 18 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:52,537 You know, at first, I thought you was old-ass Raisinet riding on a skateboard. 19 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,982 I'd like to come over there and choke the life out of you right in front of Jesus. 20 00:01:57,051 --> 00:02:01,488 Sweet Lord, give me strength. Don't make me have to whup nobody's head in church. 21 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,490 Ignore him, Lord. Ignore all his prayers. 22 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:06,994 He ain't nothing, never did nothing. Give him a stroke or something. 23 00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:11,430 Do you, Sherman Klump? 24 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,763 Yes, I do. 25 00:02:13,835 --> 00:02:15,996 Indeed, I do. 26 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:20,097 Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, yeah, happy day 27 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,272 Happy day, happy day. Happy day, my ass. 28 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,351 Oh, he look handsome. 29 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:35,014 Oh, my baby's finally getting married. Never thought I'd live to see the day. Finally. 30 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,918 Oh, here she comes, here she comes. 31 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:02,046 I'm gonna cry. I promised myself I'm wasn't gonna cry. Now I'm gonna cry. 32 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:12,023 Yeah, all right. Dynamite. 33 00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:14,789 You may be seated. 34 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,798 Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. 35 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,105 I always knew he'd find the right girl. Always knew. 36 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,738 You see the Indian in her cheekbones? Ooh! Sherman, Sherman. Sherman. 37 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,248 Sherman, Sherman, Sherman. Sherman! Oh, Lord. 38 00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,047 Shh, my baby's so stupid. 39 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,816 Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today... 40 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,517 to join these two people in holy matrimony. 41 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:48,551 Praise the Lord. The eminent scientist, Professor Sherman Klump... 42 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,597 Mm-hmm. and his longtime sweetheart, 43 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,327 Denise Gaines. Oh, Sherman. 44 00:03:56,337 --> 00:04:02,037 If anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak now... 45 00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:05,878 or forever hold his penis. 46 00:04:05,947 --> 00:04:09,041 Oh, Sherman. 47 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:12,244 That's it, son. Show 'em what the Klumps are made of! 48 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,518 Sherman, put that away. Sherman, calm down, baby. Save it for the honeymoon. 49 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,922 Surprise! 50 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:28,199 Hey, Sherman, calm down, boy. What's wrong with you? 51 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,451 This is some scar shit. Yeah, like The Outer Limits. 52 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,988 No, don't hurt yourself, baby. You are coming with Buddy. 53 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:03,969 No! No! See you later, chunky butt! 54 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,801 No! 55 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,501 And then I wake up in a cold sweat. 56 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:12,307 How often do you have this dream? More and more lately. 57 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:16,316 You seem to be very fond of this girl, Denise. 58 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,852 My God, she is so special to me. 59 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:23,356 But how's she gonna love me when I got Buddy Love inside me? I wanna be perfect for her. 60 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,291 Perfect? No one is perfect, Sherman. 61 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,262 You need to understand that Buddy Love is a representation... 62 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,459 of the uninhibited, hedonistic id. 63 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,332 He is not a real person. Buddy Love is real! 64 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:39,339 Well, he was real, and he does take control of me sometimes. 65 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,739 You will never learn to control him... Sherman! 66 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,778 until you accept the fact that he is apart of you. 67 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,939 Yeah, and the best part too! And I'll tell you something else, punk! 68 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,848 All these diplomas on this wall don't make up for the fact... 69 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,716 that you got a little Vienna sausage in your drawers. 70 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:56,814 Is that why they call you a shrink? - Shut up, fat a- 71 00:05:56,891 --> 00:05:59,985 Sorry. 72 00:06:00,061 --> 00:06:02,689 Yeah, yes. Session got a little outta outta control. 73 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:07,166 You see, we all have a little Buddy Love inside us. 74 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,828 Yeah. But we can't let him rule our lives. 75 00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:12,464 You're in charge, Sherman. Can you say that for me? 76 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,508 I'm in charge. Can't hear you. 77 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,475 I'm in charge. Can't hear you! 78 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,342 I'm in charge! Sorry about that. 79 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:24,715 Yeah. Klump in charge! I'm in charge! 80 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,383 He's right. I am in charge. 81 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:32,392 Klump in charge. Yes, indeed. 82 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:38,828 Good afternoon, ladies. Yeah. 83 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,498 Hey, Professor Klump. How's it going? Fantastic. How about yourself? 84 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,096 Yeah. Klump in charge. 85 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,562 Afternoon. Good day. Hi. 86 00:06:51,632 --> 00:06:53,566 How you doing? 87 00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:57,627 Wonderful day. 88 00:06:57,705 --> 00:07:01,471 Beautiful day, isn't it, Professor? Bite me, old hag. Oh! 89 00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:06,639 What? Uh, uh, I said, he likes me. Look at him wag. 90 00:07:06,714 --> 00:07:10,150 Hey, little fella. See that little tail wagging? 91 00:07:10,218 --> 00:07:14,348 Have a good day. I'm in charge. My goodness. 92 00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:26,199 Kinda hot today, huh, Professor? You have no idea how hot it is. 93 00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:31,000 Hot! Nice and hot! Oh, Professor! I loved your lecture the other day. 94 00:07:31,072 --> 00:07:36,738 Oh, thankyou. Thankyou so much. 95 00:07:36,811 --> 00:07:40,110 You're the man. You're the man. I'm in control. 96 00:07:41,515 --> 00:07:43,449 Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that, bubble butt! 97 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,957 It is theoretically possible to isolate the elements... 98 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:59,466 of an individual's genetic makeup and separate them. 99 00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:05,028 Now someday, we may be able to locate an unhealthy risk factor in our DNA and remove it. 100 00:08:05,106 --> 00:08:08,542 Excuse me. Beg your pardon. 101 00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:10,543 I'm sorry. Excuse me. 102 00:08:13,547 --> 00:08:17,210 Whether this is advisable is another question entirely. 103 00:08:17,285 --> 00:08:20,948 Oh, my eye! Oh, Professor Klump. 104 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:24,048 Oh! Professor Gaines, how are you? 105 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:26,389 I was hoping I might be able to sit in on your lecture. 106 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:29,952 I'm sure we can accommodate you since you were so quiet coming in. 107 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:33,159 Well, it's very hard to be quiet... 108 00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:35,168 when you're lecturing on genomic extractions. 109 00:08:35,236 --> 00:08:37,932 I think it's ver exciting. Oh, lagree completely. 110 00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:41,736 Something about the way the nucleotides cohere with the target sequence. 111 00:08:41,809 --> 00:08:44,835 Yeah. I always say, ifyou can't be with the nucleotide that you love, 112 00:08:44,912 --> 00:08:46,937 cohere with the one you're with. 113 00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:57,855 Yeah. Uh, anyway as I was- 114 00:08:57,925 --> 00:09:00,758 Uh, I want those lab reports on my desk. 115 00:09:00,828 --> 00:09:05,356 No excuses. I'll see you next time. 116 00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,865 Professor Gaines. 117 00:09:09,937 --> 00:09:13,373 Oh, Professor Klump. Yeah. 118 00:09:13,441 --> 00:09:18,003 Um, yes, I was, um- I was wondering if you had a- 119 00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:21,378 Dean Richmond, we were- Just having... a little chat. 120 00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:23,383 Don't be bashful, Professor Gaines. 121 00:09:23,451 --> 00:09:26,045 Pound-for-pound, this big lug's the greatest scientist on the planet. 122 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,819 And let's be honest, pound-for-pound, he is a planet. That's said with love. 123 00:09:30,891 --> 00:09:34,224 Did you get those goo-goo clusters I sent you? Yes, I did, thank you, 124 00:09:34,295 --> 00:09:37,321 but I'm on a diet right now, so I can't eat 'em. 125 00:09:37,398 --> 00:09:39,559 And it's working beautifully. No, I'm telling you. 126 00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:43,967 When I came in, with this light and in that outfiit, you could really think for a second that- 127 00:09:44,038 --> 00:09:46,973 Anyway, you said you had something to show me. 128 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:50,043 I am so excited about this, Dean. You will be too. 129 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:53,046 You got that? Come on. Jason, where's our patient? 130 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:56,106 Right here, Professor. Come on, boy. 131 00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:59,914 Now this is Buster. Buster suffers from acute arthritis and diminished vision, 132 00:09:59,987 --> 00:10:02,012 which are both signs of advanced aging. 133 00:10:02,089 --> 00:10:05,490 We're gonna see if we can fix all of Buster's problems right now, aren't we, Buster? 134 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,686 Yes, we are. This little experiment... 135 00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:11,528 makes use of Professor Gaines's brilliant research on gene targeting. 136 00:10:11,599 --> 00:10:15,000 Now, if I've composed this formula properly, 137 00:10:15,069 --> 00:10:18,095 this should be most impressive. 138 00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:21,608 All right, Buster. 139 00:10:29,183 --> 00:10:31,117 Jiminy freaking Cricket! 140 00:10:31,185 --> 00:10:35,212 Sherman, this is amazing. 141 00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:39,521 You've just discovered- The fountain of youth. This is huge. 142 00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:42,960 Do you have any idea what you've done? This is unbelievable. We're rich. 143 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,521 We're gonna have every pharmaceutical-company in the world... 144 00:10:45,599 --> 00:10:47,032 lining up to throw money at us. 145 00:10:47,101 --> 00:10:48,966 Of course, it all has to be properly tested first. 146 00:10:49,036 --> 00:10:52,802 Exactly, yes. He makes an interesting point. Here's another. Shut up! 147 00:10:52,873 --> 00:10:56,104 Besides, look at the little fella. He can lick his own winky again. 148 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:59,044 There's not a guy in the world who wouldn't wanna do that. 149 00:10:59,113 --> 00:11:02,082 Klump! Dean Richmond! 150 00:11:02,149 --> 00:11:04,242 The effect is only temporary. I'm sorry, sir. You're sorry? 151 00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:07,446 Oh, my goodness. I'm just tring not to think where that tongue has been! 152 00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:09,455 You all right? 153 00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:22,800 Klump, party of six, please. Yes, and we're hungry. 154 00:11:42,923 --> 00:11:45,084 Mama, you know, you really look good. Have you been losing weight? 155 00:11:45,159 --> 00:11:48,185 Oh, thankyou, baby, no, but I'm getting ready to start a new diet. 156 00:11:48,262 --> 00:11:52,096 Have some of this ambrosia. I don't even like ambrosia. 157 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:54,760 Don't tell me you don't like ambrosia. You had some before, and you liked it. 158 00:11:54,835 --> 00:11:57,497 Have some adventure! Oh, now I'm a child- I don't know what I like. 159 00:11:57,571 --> 00:11:59,562 ...for the all-girls soccer team. 160 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,473 Let me get that for you. Oh, my baby's so gallant. 161 00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:06,946 Sherman, come here. And it's called "All the pork you can eat" diet. 162 00:12:07,014 --> 00:12:11,212 You can have all the pork you want. You can have ham, bacon, sausage. 163 00:12:11,285 --> 00:12:14,083 I got the wrong thing. Take that. Thank you. 164 00:12:14,154 --> 00:12:16,418 Now I got a full portion. Whateveryou wanna eat, 165 00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:18,424 just as long as you have three glasses of grapefruit juice afterwards... 166 00:12:18,492 --> 00:12:21,256 because the grapefruitjuice breaks down all the unwanted- 167 00:12:21,328 --> 00:12:25,196 Get away from there! Stop that! Baby! 168 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:28,724 Honey, get the baby. He's a boy, and boys don't be doing stuff like that. 169 00:12:28,802 --> 00:12:31,999 Hey! Get your ass- What? 170 00:12:32,072 --> 00:12:34,734 Please teach that boy manners. He ain't gonna be acting like no hooligan with me. 171 00:12:34,808 --> 00:12:37,743 That was a spoon or fork? That was a spoon. All right. Boys will be boys. 172 00:12:37,811 --> 00:12:40,871 Boys will be boys. 173 00:12:40,948 --> 00:12:44,179 Oh, this looks fabulous. Yeah, it looks really good. 174 00:12:44,251 --> 00:12:46,617 How about getting another bottle of red over here? Get some more wine. 175 00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:49,588 Hey, Ernie, maybe you wanna pace yourself and take it easy, huh? 176 00:12:49,657 --> 00:12:53,388 Pace myself? Hey, this is a celebration for Daddy retiring. 177 00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:57,920 We owe it to Daddy togetshit-faced, andl'm gonnagetshit-faced. 178 00:12:57,998 --> 00:13:00,330 By the way, congratulations, Mr. Klump. 179 00:13:00,401 --> 00:13:03,996 She's so polite. Look here, Denise, you have to stop that "Mr. Klump" stuff... 180 00:13:04,071 --> 00:13:06,835 'cause I've been hearing that for the last year or so, and I'm starting to feel old. 181 00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:10,206 I ain't an oldman. You are an old man. 182 00:13:10,277 --> 00:13:12,939 Ah, shit, Grandma, what's wrong with you? 183 00:13:13,013 --> 00:13:15,208 If it isn't the Alzheimer's Express right on schedule! 184 00:13:15,282 --> 00:13:18,115 Stop that! Hi, Mama. She drove right on my bunion. 185 00:13:18,185 --> 00:13:21,120 Y'all have to excuse me for being late. 186 00:13:21,188 --> 00:13:23,884 If you weren't my grandmother, boy- If you weren't my grandmother! 187 00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:26,222 Me and Isaac started getting kinda frisky in the car. 188 00:13:26,293 --> 00:13:29,421 Ooh! Had to give him a little appetizer. 189 00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:32,056 Ooh, Mama. 190 00:13:32,132 --> 00:13:35,624 I just lost my damn appetite. Mama, your dress is undone. Let me zip you up. 191 00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:38,137 Hurry. Zip herup in the back before she starts looking... 192 00:13:38,205 --> 00:13:40,173 like one of them Zulu hags on the cover of NationalGeographic. 193 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,370 Clesius, what's wrong with you? That's my mother. Like that movie, Shaka Zulu. 194 00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:47,471 You know something, Clesius? Come on. Come on right now! 195 00:13:47,548 --> 00:13:50,073 I'm gonna tell you something. I got a razor in this bag. 196 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:53,950 Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what. That ain't even no bag in yourhand. That's your titty. 197 00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,286 Clesius! Oh, Jesus! 198 00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:01,089 She's an old bag with old bag titties. Clesius, you out of your mind? 199 00:14:01,161 --> 00:14:04,221 He called your grandma's titty a bag. 200 00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:06,926 Death! Clesius Marcellus Klump. 201 00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:11,404 If it isn't the world's oldest living Negro? 202 00:14:11,472 --> 00:14:13,906 Hey, how are things going on the Underground Railroad, Isaac? 203 00:14:13,974 --> 00:14:16,807 Oh, Clesius, please, be nice to Mr. Isaac. Goodevening, Mr. Isaac. 204 00:14:16,877 --> 00:14:18,845 Come on and have a seat. 205 00:14:18,912 --> 00:14:20,937 Good evening, Mr. Isaac. How you doing tonight? 206 00:14:21,015 --> 00:14:23,609 Isaac know I'm playing. I play with Isaac all the time. You know I'm messing with you. 207 00:14:23,684 --> 00:14:26,619 Oh, yeah, you say what you wanna say, 208 00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:31,420 but Isaac's still like a Brahma bull when it comes to relations, right, baby? 209 00:14:31,492 --> 00:14:34,188 You know what they say? You're as young as you feel. 210 00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:38,027 Well, I must be 197. Klump, funny you should say that. 211 00:14:38,098 --> 00:14:41,829 Denise and I have been doing some research on aging, which has proven to be promising. 212 00:14:41,902 --> 00:14:44,377 Ooh, Baby, don't belch in public. 213 00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:46,911 Grandma don't wanna hear all that nastiness. He bringing the bass, huh? 214 00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:49,471 You plan to eat, you gonna be belching, cover your mouth. 215 00:14:49,549 --> 00:14:52,416 Hey, look, your grandpa ate a whole plate of beans, 216 00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:54,420 you don't see me doing the ol' butt trumpet, do you? 217 00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,979 Thank the Lord. We don't have to hear all that nasty imagery. 218 00:14:57,057 --> 00:15:01,460 Butts and trumpets. I'm gonna tell my grandson what I wanna say. 219 00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:05,965 Hey, can we get some toothpick? Some toothpick! 220 00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:09,968 If I wanna put a trumpet in my ass and run around this restaurant and blow... 221 00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:11,970 "Hallelujah, Yankee Doodle," that's my business! 222 00:15:12,038 --> 00:15:14,939 All I'm hearing is trumpets and asses. I don't wanna hear that. 223 00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:16,942 Hey! You watch it now. 224 00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:19,103 You reach over here again, you gonna pull back a nub. 225 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,647 Oh, Clesius, she's fine. I like that. 226 00:15:21,715 --> 00:15:23,842 Tell me, don't touch the chicken. Don't be hitting on people. 227 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,885 I don't be getting hit on, Sherman, you know that. 228 00:15:25,952 --> 00:15:28,921 Better eat up, Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. 229 00:15:28,989 --> 00:15:33,551 Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch Mating Season on the Serengeti. 230 00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:36,858 Oooh! Don't take a lot to get Isaac going. 231 00:15:36,930 --> 00:15:39,296 Time out! Let me call a time out on that. Lord, my, my. 232 00:15:39,366 --> 00:15:41,834 I don't wanna hear about you old-ass geriatrics. Oh, yeah, Clesius? 233 00:15:41,902 --> 00:15:45,463 Me and Isaac might be dried-up geriatrics, 234 00:15:45,539 --> 00:15:49,498 but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac's love tackle. 235 00:15:49,576 --> 00:15:52,807 Ooh, Mama. Oh, snap now. 236 00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:56,542 Hmm? What's the matter, Clesius, cat got your tongue? Step on a nerve, Clesius? 237 00:15:56,616 --> 00:15:59,346 I get you. Got you, got you. Got ya! 238 00:15:59,419 --> 00:16:01,853 These potatoes sure are scrumptious, aren't they? 239 00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:05,824 Ain't that a kick in the head. Yes, they're scrumptious, aren't they? 240 00:16:05,892 --> 00:16:08,884 Potato, my ass. Ain't that a kick in the head? 241 00:16:08,962 --> 00:16:11,988 What that piece of spaghetti remind you of? Oh! 242 00:16:12,065 --> 00:16:16,263 Oh, Grandma, now, come on. That's enough now. Sure enough. 243 00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:20,397 Maybe Mr. Johnson, perhaps? 244 00:16:20,473 --> 00:16:24,375 Oh, Lord have mercy. Let me tell you, old woman. 245 00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:27,675 What I do in my bedroom is my business. You understand? 246 00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:31,410 Only thing you do in your bedroom is pull the lint off your scrotum. 247 00:16:31,484 --> 00:16:35,250 Now it's getting thick. See? That's the last straw. 248 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:41,450 I think I'm gonna propose a toast. Let's make a toast. 249 00:16:41,528 --> 00:16:44,520 To Daddy. Hear! Hear! 250 00:16:44,598 --> 00:16:48,466 After 35 years of hard work in the construction business, Thirty-five years! 251 00:16:48,535 --> 00:16:50,730 Daddy's gonna finally get a chance to relax. 252 00:16:50,804 --> 00:16:53,932 Finally gonna get to relax. This is true. - Damn right. 253 00:16:54,007 --> 00:16:55,372 And I'd like to say in front ofeverbody here tonight- 254 00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:58,434 When you gonna stop jiving and tell everbody you got laid off? 255 00:16:58,511 --> 00:17:01,446 Oh, my God. 256 00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:04,415 He's choking. 257 00:17:04,484 --> 00:17:06,816 Hey, somebody put the "Hemlock" on him? Put your arm up! 258 00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:11,380 The "Hemlockmove. " Give me a knife and straw. I'm gonna give him a tracheotomy. 259 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,983 I seen them do it on E.R. 260 00:17:25,972 --> 00:17:28,600 It's allright, folks. Everything's under control. 261 00:17:30,377 --> 00:17:33,403 Clesius. No, Clesius. Where you going? Sherman! Clesius! 262 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,916 Dad, where you going? - Daddy! - Oh! 263 00:17:36,983 --> 00:17:41,283 Now you see what you did, Joe College? You done messed up the whole party. 264 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,706 Jason, I just know I'm not the one saying all those awful things. 265 00:18:02,776 --> 00:18:07,304 It was him. You may be right, Professor. Take a look at this reading. 266 00:18:10,383 --> 00:18:14,217 Right there. Recombining with the gene that governs testosterone production. 267 00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,721 Buddy Love. 268 00:18:21,294 --> 00:18:23,489 I told you. That's Buddy Love. 269 00:18:23,563 --> 00:18:25,394 Don't panic. Allright. 270 00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:28,559 We should be able to get rid of him. According to Denise's theories, 271 00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:31,126 we should be able to isolate that gene and extract it. No, no way. 272 00:18:31,204 --> 00:18:33,695 Professor, what you're talking about is extremely dangerous. 273 00:18:33,773 --> 00:18:36,241 Those traces of Buddy must've been in your system this whole time. 274 00:18:36,309 --> 00:18:39,335 You've been able to keep them under control. Not anymore. He's back now. 275 00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:43,542 He's coming back 'cause he knows I'm happy and he wanna ruin everthing. 276 00:18:43,616 --> 00:18:46,278 Yeah, but he is not a he. He is a gene. 277 00:18:46,352 --> 00:18:50,049 He's just part of you. Oh, no, he's not. 278 00:18:50,123 --> 00:18:52,250 Am I interrupting? 279 00:18:52,325 --> 00:18:58,093 Oh, uh, not at all. We were just doing some last-minute tests on Buster. 280 00:18:58,164 --> 00:18:59,688 Yeah. 281 00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:03,361 Uh, Sherman, can I talk to you in private for just a second? 282 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,774 Sherman, I got a call today, 283 00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:14,302 and, well, I've been offered a full professorship at the University of Maine. 284 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:19,841 University of Maine? But, Denise, that's in Maine. Yeah. 285 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,514 Oh. 286 00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:27,617 Well, uh, that's a fine department over there in Maine. 287 00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:30,891 It is gonna be a... 288 00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:33,262 tremendous loss to Wellman, though. 289 00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:37,269 Well, I haven't decided to leave just yet. You haven't? 290 00:19:37,337 --> 00:19:40,033 Well, no, I mean- 291 00:19:40,106 --> 00:19:42,904 There's something very important to me here, 292 00:19:42,976 --> 00:19:46,343 and I'm not so sure I can just leave it behind. 293 00:19:46,412 --> 00:19:50,542 Well, Denise, you can finish the research we started on your own. 294 00:19:50,617 --> 00:19:55,281 Sherman, I'm not talking about research. Really? 295 00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:57,915 Sherman, you're ver special to me. 296 00:20:03,329 --> 00:20:05,991 Oh, well, uh, I didn't... 297 00:20:06,065 --> 00:20:08,659 thinkyou and I would ever- ever- 298 00:20:08,735 --> 00:20:12,000 because of- 299 00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:14,562 How can I put it? Because I'm- Big. 300 00:20:14,641 --> 00:20:19,101 Yeah. I was gonna say fat, but, yeah. 301 00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:22,615 Big is better, yep. 302 00:20:22,682 --> 00:20:27,415 Sherman, that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that... 303 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:31,321 you're kind and decent. 304 00:20:33,526 --> 00:20:37,462 You are... the most brilliant man I've ever known. 305 00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:44,367 Uh, speaking of which, I shouldn't keep you from your research, 306 00:20:44,437 --> 00:20:46,166 so, um, I'll talk to you later. 307 00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:49,174 Okay, I'll see you soon. 308 00:20:54,247 --> 00:20:56,181 My goodness. 309 00:21:19,272 --> 00:21:21,740 Professor? You okay? 310 00:21:25,144 --> 00:21:29,046 Yeah. I just don't wanna hurt her, Jason. 311 00:21:29,115 --> 00:21:31,743 Then you won't. 312 00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:36,745 Hey, you can control Buddy. 313 00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:44,120 You know, it's funny how you get used to certain things in life, you know? 314 00:21:44,197 --> 00:21:48,861 You get used to being overweight. I know I did. 315 00:21:48,935 --> 00:21:50,869 You even get used to people making fun of you. 316 00:21:54,107 --> 00:21:57,702 Somewhere along the line, I got used to being alone. 317 00:21:59,946 --> 00:22:03,347 And I just don't wanna be alone anymore. 318 00:22:49,982 --> 00:22:52,382 Denise! Denise! 319 00:22:54,019 --> 00:22:56,112 Oh, Sherman, the flowers are beautiful. 320 00:22:56,188 --> 00:22:59,021 But what are you doing down there? Please, come inside. 321 00:22:59,091 --> 00:23:01,457 Just a minute. Let me do something first. Come here, guys. 322 00:23:11,303 --> 00:23:13,771 Denise, I just wanna say that... 323 00:23:13,839 --> 00:23:16,467 working along side you this past year, 324 00:23:16,541 --> 00:23:19,271 getting to know you and be close to you- 325 00:23:19,344 --> 00:23:22,108 it's been the most wonderful time of my life. 326 00:23:22,180 --> 00:23:25,616 The most wonderful time of his life 327 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,781 How lovely. 328 00:23:29,855 --> 00:23:32,323 I'd just like to say that- 329 00:23:32,391 --> 00:23:35,724 it doesn't matter if you wanna take that other job or if you wanna stay here. 330 00:23:35,794 --> 00:23:39,252 What matters to me most is that you're happy. 331 00:23:39,331 --> 00:23:42,425 Denise, I have something that I wanna ask you. 332 00:23:42,501 --> 00:23:45,299 He wants to ask you 333 00:23:48,106 --> 00:23:50,336 Denise- Denise Gaines- 334 00:23:50,409 --> 00:23:53,572 Yes, Sherman? Denise, will you- 335 00:23:53,645 --> 00:23:55,579 Well, ask her! 336 00:23:55,647 --> 00:24:00,016 Denise, will you Hey, Sherman. You hear me, Sherman? 337 00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:02,519 Denise, will you- will you... 338 00:24:02,587 --> 00:24:05,112 let me come up there and put my beef in your taco? 339 00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:08,284 Put the beef in your taco What? 340 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,124 Oh, no, no, no, no! 341 00:24:11,196 --> 00:24:13,187 That's not what I meant to say, Denise. That was a little joke. 342 00:24:13,265 --> 00:24:17,361 A little joke. I wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get Mexican food. 343 00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:20,633 That's why I said that. Well, I am kinda hungry, but I'm not- 344 00:24:20,706 --> 00:24:25,643 Yeah, you are, huh? I bet you could standfor a big ol' Whopper right now. 345 00:24:25,711 --> 00:24:28,009 A big ol' Whopper right now 346 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,880 You're sick! I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself. 347 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:34,043 Yeah, and I'm loaded with secret sauce. 348 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,280 Yeah! Come on! 349 00:24:39,091 --> 00:24:42,117 Back that thang up! Yeah! 350 00:24:42,194 --> 00:24:44,321 Come on! Come on! Yeah! 351 00:24:44,396 --> 00:24:46,830 Yeah! 352 00:24:46,898 --> 00:24:49,366 Come on! Make it funky! 353 00:24:54,639 --> 00:24:57,233 You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert! 354 00:25:00,445 --> 00:25:03,642 Put on the good ass! 355 00:25:03,715 --> 00:25:07,879 Sherman, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it at all! 356 00:25:07,953 --> 00:25:11,354 Hah, way to go, Sherman! Oh, my goodness! 357 00:25:11,423 --> 00:25:15,189 You haven't seen the last of me, Sherman! Oh, my goodness, what'd I do? 358 00:25:15,260 --> 00:25:18,024 Denise! Denise! 359 00:25:18,096 --> 00:25:23,329 I'm gonna pee on myself. I'm gonna pee in your pants! 360 00:26:10,182 --> 00:26:13,811 Okay, Buddy, it's time foryou to go. 361 00:26:52,991 --> 00:26:55,789 That's sexy. 362 00:26:59,965 --> 00:27:04,299 You-ou-ou've got the magic touch 363 00:27:04,369 --> 00:27:07,600 Ooh, hoo Hey, what you playing that for? 364 00:27:07,672 --> 00:27:12,871 I thought it'd be soothing. It'd be soothing if you turned that shit off so I can sleep. 365 00:27:12,944 --> 00:27:14,912 Oh, Clesius, you haven't even looked at me. 366 00:27:14,980 --> 00:27:19,974 I know what you look like. We married for 44 years. I look at you ever day, all day long. 367 00:27:20,051 --> 00:27:22,679 I know just what you look like. Clesius, please, look at me! 368 00:27:22,754 --> 00:27:25,518 Damn. Now here we go. 369 00:27:29,561 --> 00:27:32,655 You got a show tonight? What you got that on for? 370 00:27:32,731 --> 00:27:37,225 Well, if you don't know after 44 years of marriage, I don't know what to say to you. 371 00:27:37,302 --> 00:27:41,033 You should say good night and take that damn rag off that lamp before we burn something down. 372 00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:44,473 Hell. 373 00:27:44,542 --> 00:27:46,976 There! 374 00:27:49,981 --> 00:27:52,415 What about Viagra? 375 00:27:54,719 --> 00:27:56,846 Viagra don't work for me. I've been taking 'em like M&M's. 376 00:27:59,357 --> 00:28:01,450 Look, Clesius, maybe it's psychosomatic. 377 00:28:01,526 --> 00:28:05,257 I seen on Oprah once that this happen to men after they get fired. 378 00:28:05,330 --> 00:28:07,491 Um, Imean, retired. You know, sometimes you lose yourself-esteem. 379 00:28:07,565 --> 00:28:09,533 Lose self-esteem? I ain't lost no self-esteem. 380 00:28:09,601 --> 00:28:12,434 You're always yapping about it. You won't never let up! Forget it! 381 00:28:12,504 --> 00:28:15,530 You're like a broken record. Ever time I turn around, "Clesius, how you feeling now?" 382 00:28:15,607 --> 00:28:18,041 "You got the groove now?" Ever time I walk in the room, 383 00:28:18,109 --> 00:28:20,509 I don't even wanna hear it. you shake your ass, tring to get me stimulated. 384 00:28:20,578 --> 00:28:22,341 Go to sleep, please. Let it happen naturally. 385 00:28:22,414 --> 00:28:25,941 Never mind, Clesius! Never mind! 386 00:28:26,017 --> 00:28:30,283 I mean, I'm sorry to yell and scream, but you got too much pressure on me! 387 00:28:30,355 --> 00:28:32,585 You want tenderness? Ease up on the pressure. 388 00:28:32,657 --> 00:28:35,182 Too much pressure for me. 389 00:28:35,260 --> 00:28:39,754 Slowit down, Isaac. No, no, baby, I'm overhere. 390 00:28:39,831 --> 00:28:41,765 Now, there they go. 391 00:28:41,833 --> 00:28:45,735 Now, you're fine now. Isaac, you're a champion. 392 00:28:45,804 --> 00:28:48,364 That's your old-ass mother. Hey! My mama has a healthy libido. 393 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,102 Gotta slowit down! lain't taking nobody to the emergency room tonight! 394 00:28:51,176 --> 00:28:54,111 Somebody break their leg, gonna stay broke this time. 395 00:28:54,179 --> 00:28:57,811 Isaac! Bingo. Pokeno. 396 00:28:58,912 --> 00:29:02,848 Professor? Professor? Hey. 397 00:29:02,916 --> 00:29:06,181 Professor? Hey, Professor! 398 00:29:06,253 --> 00:29:09,245 Wake up. Oh. Oh, Jason. 399 00:29:09,322 --> 00:29:12,587 My God, what happened? 400 00:29:15,428 --> 00:29:17,362 Buddy. I had to get rid of Buddy. 401 00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:20,263 What? He had to go. 402 00:29:20,333 --> 00:29:23,166 You could've killed yourself. I mean, who knows? 403 00:29:23,236 --> 00:29:25,966 This could affect your coordination, your neurological system. 404 00:29:26,039 --> 00:29:28,530 It could even affect your intelligence. We don't even know if this is gonna work. 405 00:29:30,210 --> 00:29:32,144 Only one way to fii nd out. 406 00:30:03,577 --> 00:30:05,977 Okay, Sherman, what is this about? Denise. 407 00:30:06,046 --> 00:30:08,276 I'm so glad you came. You know, I almost didn't come. 408 00:30:08,348 --> 00:30:10,282 Well, I'm awful glad you did. 409 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:13,285 Listen to me, Denise. Listen. 410 00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:15,446 You know, fireflies, when they're searchingfor a mate, 411 00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:19,014 the way they findone another is they emit apheromone, 412 00:30:19,092 --> 00:30:21,253 and I've synthesized it into a spray form. 413 00:30:21,328 --> 00:30:25,992 Wait a minute. You brought me out here for an experiment? 414 00:30:26,066 --> 00:30:27,863 Denise, wait, please! Just hear me out! Please, don't leave. 415 00:30:27,934 --> 00:30:30,198 Sherman, why did you act that way the other night? 416 00:30:31,605 --> 00:30:34,267 Well, Denise, 417 00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:39,372 when I found out that you might be leaving, it just got me all messed up inside. 418 00:30:39,446 --> 00:30:41,380 I said some things I really didn't mean at all. 419 00:30:41,448 --> 00:30:44,849 It was- It was like there was another person inside me... 420 00:30:44,918 --> 00:30:48,183 who didn't appreciate how wonderful you are to me and how special you are to me. 421 00:30:48,255 --> 00:30:51,816 And-And- But thatside of me is gone now. 422 00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:55,225 I got rid of that person forever. You'I I never see that ugly face again. 423 00:30:55,295 --> 00:30:58,628 I just want you to know that for sure. That's why I wanted you to come out here tonight. 424 00:30:58,698 --> 00:31:01,166 Just- Just bear with me, please. 425 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:21,349 Hope my little friends might be able to... 426 00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:23,981 say it better than me. 427 00:31:31,898 --> 00:31:34,992 Yes, Sherman Klump, I will. 428 00:31:35,068 --> 00:31:38,060 Will you really? Really? Really. 429 00:31:38,138 --> 00:31:40,106 Yes. I will. I really will. You will? 430 00:31:40,173 --> 00:31:44,234 Yeah! Yeah! 431 00:31:47,914 --> 00:31:50,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 432 00:31:54,321 --> 00:31:56,619 Come on, Buster. Time to go home. 433 00:31:56,690 --> 00:31:59,318 That's right. That's right. Time to go home. 434 00:31:59,392 --> 00:32:02,225 Now wait. Sit. Good boy. 435 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:05,230 Wait for Uncle "J." Stud. 436 00:32:55,081 --> 00:32:57,481 Buster! 437 00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:03,084 Hey, Buster, where'd you go, boy? Here's a good boy. 438 00:33:11,331 --> 00:33:15,028 Ohhhh, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman! 439 00:33:15,101 --> 00:33:18,434 My baby's finally getting married, married, married! 440 00:33:18,505 --> 00:33:21,133 Oh, Sherman! I'm so happy for you, Sherman. 441 00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:23,698 You're finally gonna get some. 442 00:33:29,282 --> 00:33:34,219 Tell me something good 443 00:33:34,287 --> 00:33:36,653 Whoo! 444 00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:40,489 Tell me that you love me, yeah 445 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,893 Tell me something 446 00:33:43,963 --> 00:33:47,023 Good Oh, baby, baby 447 00:33:47,100 --> 00:33:50,228 Come on now, dance with me, girl. You look fantastic. 448 00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:54,168 If you two can stop getting all jiggy with it, 449 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,970 perhaps I can give you something to really celebrate. Oh, yes, sir. 450 00:33:57,043 --> 00:33:58,977 Yes, Dean, what's that? Oh, nothing much. 451 00:33:59,045 --> 00:34:02,674 A letter from Phleer Pharmaceuticals, largest drug company in the world. 452 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:05,718 I told them about your little discover, and they made a preemptive offer. 453 00:34:05,785 --> 00:34:09,551 Not too shabby, eh? 454 00:34:09,622 --> 00:34:11,556 A hundred and fiifty million dollars! 455 00:34:11,624 --> 00:34:14,184 Oh, my God, Sherman! 456 00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:16,888 A hundred and fiifty million dollars! Oh, my goodness. 457 00:34:16,963 --> 00:34:19,261 Isn't that wonderful? Now, remember, that money belongs to Wellman. 458 00:34:19,332 --> 00:34:23,268 All you have to do is prove to Phleer the formula works at the press conference I set up. 459 00:34:23,336 --> 00:34:28,933 Yeah! Of-Of course. $150 million- my mind's all scribble-scrabble. 460 00:34:32,579 --> 00:34:35,446 Oh, Mama, Ican't wait to see what she looks like in my old wedding dress. 461 00:34:35,515 --> 00:34:38,348 I can't wait to see, Mama. She gonna- 462 00:34:38,418 --> 00:34:41,285 Oh! 463 00:34:43,690 --> 00:34:47,524 Oh, seeing you in that dress take me right back to the time I got married. 464 00:34:47,594 --> 00:34:50,563 It's beautiful. Oh, you look wonderful. Show Mama what you look like. 465 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:53,758 Mama, look at this. Oh, you look so lovely. 466 00:34:53,833 --> 00:34:57,929 Oh, be careful now. She looks fabulous in it, don't she, Mama? Look at her. 467 00:34:58,004 --> 00:35:02,464 Denise, you still remember what I told you about marital relations? 468 00:35:02,542 --> 00:35:06,478 Oh, Mama. Denise, look. Try this pie. I made it with Snickers. 469 00:35:06,546 --> 00:35:10,346 Now, don't be shy. Come on over here. 470 00:35:10,416 --> 00:35:13,442 Oh, that's pretty. Okay, if you get bored with your man, 471 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,887 it's perfectly okay topicture someone else's headon his body. 472 00:35:16,956 --> 00:35:18,890 Right. Ooh, you got a little waist, girl. 473 00:35:18,958 --> 00:35:22,724 That's right. That gentleman, Stone Phillips, on NBC. 474 00:35:22,795 --> 00:35:26,424 You know, Granny, I really don't think I need to do that. 475 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,993 Isaac, you don't need to hear this. It's private. It's private! 476 00:35:31,070 --> 00:35:33,095 We gonna talk girl talk now, baby. 477 00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:36,939 From time to time, I have fantasies about Stone Phillipsfrom NBC. 478 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:41,447 Mama. Mama, quiet. It's true. It's the same dream all the time. 479 00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:44,244 I'm in a tobacco barn. Stone Phillips is my coworker, 480 00:35:44,317 --> 00:35:48,617 andhe don't never have on no shirt in the dream, and I don't never have on no pants. 481 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:51,851 It's the nougat that makes it chewy. And I stand on this ladder, 482 00:35:51,925 --> 00:35:55,952 Stone Phillipsget a little peek of heaven I got up myskirt. 483 00:35:56,029 --> 00:35:59,055 I invite him up the ladder, he come up the ladder and throw me on the tobacco. 484 00:35:59,132 --> 00:36:02,932 And we start going at it like two mice. 485 00:36:03,002 --> 00:36:06,267 Stone, Stone, Stone. Mm! 486 00:36:06,339 --> 00:36:09,035 Oh, I think that's a wonderful fiit. 487 00:36:09,108 --> 00:36:11,668 I do too. 488 00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:18,808 Oh, you're so sweet. Sherman and Denise! Sherman and Denise! 489 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:23,481 Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage. They gonna get married, Mama. 490 00:36:23,556 --> 00:36:25,490 Ooh, I'm so happy. 491 00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,492 Welcome back. Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage. 492 00:36:29,929 --> 00:36:32,159 Nutty, nutty, nutty my love for you 493 00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:34,530 Ican't believe my dreams come true 494 00:36:34,601 --> 00:36:36,967 I've finally foundsomebody whose heart is true 495 00:36:37,036 --> 00:36:39,732 And best of all is you're nutty, nutty, nutty forme 496 00:36:39,806 --> 00:36:43,902 Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 497 00:36:43,977 --> 00:36:46,283 Well, well, well, we've seen quite a bit ofeach othertoday. 498 00:36:46,417 --> 00:36:49,113 Now strip down to your shorts. Right. 499 00:36:50,921 --> 00:36:54,152 I suppose you thought I was gonna object to a strip search, didn't you, Chief? 500 00:36:54,224 --> 00:36:56,749 Keep your clothes on, please. Don't nobody wanna see that! 501 00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:03,329 Here's my wallet. Why don't you check foryourself? 502 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,063 Yeah, hold that stomach in, Robert! 503 00:37:07,137 --> 00:37:09,264 What's his problem? 504 00:37:09,339 --> 00:37:11,671 I don't know, but enough is enough. Excuse me, sir. 505 00:37:11,742 --> 00:37:16,941 Young man, will you please keep it down just a little bit 'cause we're trying to watch- 506 00:37:17,014 --> 00:37:19,346 Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theaters. 507 00:37:23,654 --> 00:37:27,181 Hello, fat ass! 508 00:37:27,257 --> 00:37:29,851 Maybe we should get going. I don't feel too good all of a sudden. Let's go. 509 00:37:29,927 --> 00:37:32,157 Come on, let's go somewhere else. Sherman, who was that? 510 00:37:32,229 --> 00:37:36,165 I don't know. I didn't really get a good look at him. Sherman! Sherman Klump! 511 00:37:36,233 --> 00:37:39,202 You still been hitting them Happy Meals. You haven't changed an inch. 512 00:37:39,269 --> 00:37:43,603 You remember me Buddy Love. We used to both chase that girl, Carla, at the same time. 513 00:37:43,674 --> 00:37:47,110 You ever hit that? Miss Purty and I were just friends. 514 00:37:47,177 --> 00:37:50,010 "Just friends"- I guess that means you didn't hit it, huh? 515 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,072 Who's your new friend? She sure is fii ne. Yes, fii ne. What's your name? 516 00:37:53,150 --> 00:37:56,085 Sherman, suddenly I don't feel so well. Can we leave, please? 517 00:37:56,153 --> 00:37:58,383 Yes, let's go, please. Can I talk to Sherman for one second? Then you can have him. 518 00:37:58,455 --> 00:38:01,185 One second, please. I gotta talk to you. We gonna have a little boy talk. 519 00:38:01,258 --> 00:38:04,557 Excuse us. Sherman, how you doing, baby? What do you want here? 520 00:38:04,628 --> 00:38:06,721 A little respect. You left me all by myself in that test tube... 521 00:38:06,797 --> 00:38:09,391 without a card or a letter, and now I want a divorce. 522 00:38:09,466 --> 00:38:12,299 And this is a community property state, so I want my share. 523 00:38:12,369 --> 00:38:17,966 Want your share of what? The youth formula we invented! 524 00:38:18,041 --> 00:38:21,067 You mean, the youth formula that I invented. Oh, no way, Buddy, no way. 525 00:38:21,144 --> 00:38:23,476 Who you grounding, fat boy? You grounding me? - I haven't grounded- 526 00:38:23,547 --> 00:38:26,948 I was hoping we could do this like gentlemen. Come on, Sherman. 527 00:38:27,017 --> 00:38:29,577 You're gonna make me do something nasty to you, Sherman. I'll do something nasty. 528 00:38:29,653 --> 00:38:33,419 Sherman! See you soon, Sherman! 529 00:38:33,490 --> 00:38:38,093 Sherman! 530 00:38:40,564 --> 00:38:43,226 What the hell are you looking at? 531 00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:46,736 Oh, thank you, Sherman. 532 00:38:46,803 --> 00:38:50,068 What else did I get from Sherman? What does this say? 533 00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:54,702 "Phleer Pharmaceuticals. " $150 mill- $150 million. 534 00:38:54,778 --> 00:38:59,340 I think Buddy's going shopping. 535 00:39:11,328 --> 00:39:14,491 Professor, I got here as fast as I could. 536 00:39:14,565 --> 00:39:17,466 I've got to hide this formula before Buddy gets to it. Good idea. 537 00:39:17,534 --> 00:39:20,526 I found something I think you should look at. 538 00:39:20,604 --> 00:39:25,041 When I left here last night, everthing was fii ne. I mean, this was not here. 539 00:39:25,108 --> 00:39:29,442 Good Lord. Buddy must've recombined from the genomic sequence I extracted. 540 00:39:29,513 --> 00:39:32,676 This doesn't make any sense. He's just a fragment of genetic information. 541 00:39:32,749 --> 00:39:35,445 He's nothing without a strand of DNA to graft himself onto. 542 00:39:35,519 --> 00:39:38,113 Where-Where did he get it? 543 00:39:38,188 --> 00:39:40,122 Mm. 544 00:39:40,190 --> 00:39:42,852 Just a second here. 545 00:39:45,028 --> 00:39:47,019 Buster! 546 00:39:55,806 --> 00:39:58,673 Thank you so much. Leanne Guilford. 547 00:39:58,742 --> 00:40:01,836 President of Acquisitions. Buddy Love, president of Love Industries. 548 00:40:01,912 --> 00:40:03,880 Allergies? 549 00:40:03,947 --> 00:40:06,882 No. Do you have a dog? Yes, I do- a Yorkie. 550 00:40:06,950 --> 00:40:09,612 Oh. She's driving me crazy right now. 551 00:40:09,686 --> 00:40:12,883 Bitch. Excuse me. 552 00:40:12,956 --> 00:40:16,756 It's a female dog that you have, and she's in heat, right? Yes. How did you know that? 553 00:40:16,827 --> 00:40:18,886 Let's just say I have a sixth sense about those things. Is this her? 554 00:40:18,962 --> 00:40:22,921 Yeah, little Courtney. Ooh, nasty. 555 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,163 Mr. Love, maybe we'd better do this another time. No, this is the perfect time. 556 00:40:26,236 --> 00:40:31,003 Let's do this right now. This is the perfect time to talk about my youth formula. 557 00:40:31,074 --> 00:40:33,907 We are already committed to purchasing Professor Klump's formula. 558 00:40:33,977 --> 00:40:36,070 Oh, Professor Klump's formula? That's if it works. 559 00:40:36,146 --> 00:40:41,174 Let's just that although he's a brilliant scientist, at times, he can be unstable. 560 00:40:41,251 --> 00:40:43,185 Yes. Huh. 561 00:40:43,253 --> 00:40:45,278 Interesting. Yes, now, my formula works... 562 00:40:45,355 --> 00:40:50,588 and can be yours for the price of $149 million, if you act now, pretty lady. 563 00:40:50,661 --> 00:40:54,791 Forgive me for being blunt, but you don't expect me tojust take your word for it, do you? 564 00:40:54,865 --> 00:40:57,595 Oh, no, not at all. Just say when, and I'll make it available to you. 565 00:40:57,668 --> 00:41:00,193 All right. 566 00:41:00,270 --> 00:41:03,103 If Klump can't deliver and you can prove your formula's better, Yes? 567 00:41:03,173 --> 00:41:06,233 Phleer would have to seriously consider it. Is that right? 568 00:41:06,309 --> 00:41:09,244 I've got to go to a meeting. Can we reschedule for later? We certainly can. 569 00:41:09,312 --> 00:41:13,646 Good. How about Wednesday, 7:00? Perfect. Wednesday at 7:00. 570 00:41:13,717 --> 00:41:17,585 Bring the formula. Yes. 571 00:41:17,654 --> 00:41:21,613 Excuse me. Where's your restroom? Down the hall, to the left. 572 00:41:21,692 --> 00:41:24,126 Thank you. You finished with this? Sure. 573 00:41:44,948 --> 00:41:47,610 Whoo, whoo! 574 00:41:47,684 --> 00:41:51,120 What the hell you looking at? Huh? Oh! 575 00:42:00,697 --> 00:42:04,189 Good God! What "good God"? I went on the paper! 576 00:42:11,241 --> 00:42:14,176 Genetic anomalies can occur... 577 00:42:14,244 --> 00:42:18,010 in any living organism through- through- 578 00:42:18,081 --> 00:42:21,608 Come on now, people. Spontaneous mutation. 579 00:42:21,685 --> 00:42:26,213 Now what is it that ourgenetic codes can determine about us? 580 00:42:26,289 --> 00:42:29,258 Miss Tate? Uh, they can determine... 581 00:42:29,326 --> 00:42:32,887 whether you have blue eyes or pouty lips or a cute butt. 582 00:42:32,963 --> 00:42:35,056 Stuff like that. 583 00:42:35,132 --> 00:42:37,225 Right, right, precisely. Very good. 584 00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:41,566 But what about random nucleotide polymorphisms, Professor? Excellent question. 585 00:42:41,638 --> 00:42:48,175 Random nucleotide polymorphisms- 586 00:42:50,781 --> 00:42:54,148 Random nucleotide- 587 00:43:00,056 --> 00:43:02,024 I ain't got a clue. 588 00:43:08,765 --> 00:43:11,893 Who knows? This could affect your coordination, your neurologicalsystem. 589 00:43:11,968 --> 00:43:16,166 I mean, it could even affect your intelligence. What was I talking about? 590 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,266 Genetic anomalies. Yes, genetic anomalies. As I was saying- 591 00:43:32,622 --> 00:43:36,854 Think you're pretty smart, huh, Molly? 592 00:43:39,129 --> 00:43:41,529 Not gonna beat me again. 593 00:43:57,431 --> 00:43:59,695 Oh. 594 00:43:59,766 --> 00:44:03,668 That makes five times in a row now. Hey. 595 00:44:03,737 --> 00:44:07,605 Can I talk to you for a second? Jason, yes, please, come in. 596 00:44:10,911 --> 00:44:14,244 Look, I know you think you're feeling fine, but I ran some more tests anyway. 597 00:44:14,314 --> 00:44:17,078 Really? Yeah. When you extracted Buddy, 598 00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:22,588 somehow it altered the gene that regulates neurotransmitter activity to the cerebral cortex. 599 00:44:22,656 --> 00:44:26,888 Uh,Jason, all these big words are really perplexing to me. Can you talk in plain English? 600 00:44:29,429 --> 00:44:31,897 You're losing your intelligence, sir. 601 00:44:34,968 --> 00:44:38,131 Yeah. Yeah, I know. 602 00:44:40,507 --> 00:44:43,169 I know. I can feel it. 603 00:44:43,243 --> 00:44:46,644 I can't even beat Molly, and she's the dumbest hamster we got. 604 00:44:46,713 --> 00:44:49,682 Jason, my presentation's in two days. 605 00:44:49,749 --> 00:44:52,183 Now what am I gonna do? 606 00:45:03,797 --> 00:45:08,097 Oh, mygoodness. Buddy. 607 00:45:18,445 --> 00:45:21,608 Oh, thank God. 608 00:45:34,828 --> 00:45:37,422 Hey, how's it going there, Sherman? Yeah, Daddy, you startled me. 609 00:45:37,497 --> 00:45:40,466 What's that you got there, son? The youth juice. 610 00:45:40,534 --> 00:45:44,095 Um, um, my formula. I was wondering if I could keep it here for safe keeping. 611 00:45:44,170 --> 00:45:47,196 Oh, yeah, leave it in the refrigerator. Ain't nobody gonna bother it. 612 00:45:47,274 --> 00:45:50,300 You allright? You looka little strained. What's going on? 613 00:45:50,377 --> 00:45:54,211 Well, Daddy, you know, I kinda got a lot on my mind. 614 00:45:54,281 --> 00:45:57,273 Really, I do. I guess I've been a little worried about my presentation and all. 615 00:45:57,350 --> 00:45:59,944 Worried about your presentation? You ain't got nothing to be worried about. 616 00:46:00,020 --> 00:46:03,683 We gonna be watching you on TV, supporting you, and you should be proud. We proud. 617 00:46:03,757 --> 00:46:05,725 I know I'm proud. I tell you that. You ain't got nothing to worried- 618 00:46:05,792 --> 00:46:09,159 You're gonna be doing just great. Ah! 619 00:46:09,229 --> 00:46:12,528 I didn't hit you that hard. Don't act like a little bitch. By the way, Sherman, 620 00:46:12,599 --> 00:46:16,035 how many people can say that they raised a genius? 621 00:46:16,102 --> 00:46:18,969 I can. 622 00:46:23,109 --> 00:46:27,068 Worried about his presentation? That's a good one there. 623 00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:36,553 Ooh, is this supposed to be that hard? Yeah, let it set a while. 624 00:46:36,623 --> 00:46:38,591 Don't worry if it burns a little bit. That's natural. 625 00:46:38,658 --> 00:46:41,855 All right, you the expert, Chantal. Workyour magic, girl, 626 00:46:41,928 --> 00:46:43,862 'cause Denise's motheris coming to this bachelorette party, 627 00:46:43,930 --> 00:46:46,421 and if she's as stunning as Denise, I got to besparkling. 628 00:46:46,499 --> 00:46:48,797 Honey, you gonna blind their asses. 629 00:46:48,868 --> 00:46:52,099 When you walk in that door, they gonna think you're Tyra Banks. 630 00:46:52,172 --> 00:46:54,697 Oh, did I tell you the news? 631 00:46:54,774 --> 00:46:56,833 Leon got one of them penis pumps. 632 00:46:56,910 --> 00:47:00,437 Penis pumps? What'd he do with it? Mm-hmm. 633 00:47:00,513 --> 00:47:03,573 Supposed to pump it up or something. Does it work? 634 00:47:03,650 --> 00:47:07,279 Just on the tip. Now that thing look like a portabello mushroom. 635 00:47:07,354 --> 00:47:10,846 Isaac all natural. 636 00:47:10,924 --> 00:47:13,620 Soon as I walk in the room, ten-hut. 637 00:47:13,693 --> 00:47:18,756 You know, I'm thinking about having a little work done myself. 638 00:47:18,832 --> 00:47:21,096 The other day, I got out the shower, 639 00:47:21,167 --> 00:47:23,397 and I bent down to reach for a towel, 640 00:47:23,470 --> 00:47:25,802 and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. 641 00:47:25,872 --> 00:47:30,536 Shot through my chest and up around my back, down my spine. 642 00:47:30,610 --> 00:47:33,738 I thought, "Oh, Lord. " I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, 643 00:47:33,813 --> 00:47:36,907 and I was standing on my own titty. 644 00:47:38,785 --> 00:47:41,413 You ain't have to get no breast reduction. Just be more careful. 645 00:47:41,488 --> 00:47:44,321 Both feet too. Both feet on it. 646 00:47:48,895 --> 00:47:52,956 All right, what the hell you old hens cackling about? You ready to go? 647 00:47:53,033 --> 00:47:54,796 No, not quite. I'll be ready in a minute. 648 00:47:54,868 --> 00:47:58,395 She still got to set up a few more minutes. Have some more wine, girl. 649 00:47:58,471 --> 00:48:00,462 Ooh, girl, I don't know if I should. I already had two glasses. 650 00:48:00,540 --> 00:48:03,100 Oh, go on, live a little. Make your hair look better. 651 00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:08,405 Have mercy. Yeah,just like Ifigured. 652 00:48:08,481 --> 00:48:12,008 You sit up here all day, getting sloshed and talking about us men. 653 00:48:12,085 --> 00:48:15,987 Clesius, have you ever heard the expression, "mercy hump"? Say what? 654 00:48:16,056 --> 00:48:19,116 'Cause that's what you been getting all these years mercy humps. 655 00:48:19,192 --> 00:48:22,184 Stop it. You out your goddamn mind. Let me tell you something. 656 00:48:22,262 --> 00:48:24,492 He ain't got nothing but a limp doodle. 657 00:48:25,598 --> 00:48:28,590 Oops. Sorry. 658 00:48:28,668 --> 00:48:30,659 Gotta get ya. 659 00:48:30,737 --> 00:48:34,002 Clesius! Oh, look what you've done! Oh. 660 00:48:34,074 --> 00:48:37,271 Ah- You girls are crazy. I'm leaving. 661 00:48:37,343 --> 00:48:40,870 Oh, Clesius, Clesius, wait! Clesius! Oh, Clesius! I don't believe it. 662 00:48:40,947 --> 00:48:43,814 Clesius, I only told her 'cause she got so much experience in sexual matters. 663 00:48:43,883 --> 00:48:47,216 I ain't nothing but a big damn joke to you, ain't I? Tell the whole world! 664 00:48:47,287 --> 00:48:50,620 Her husband ain't nothing but a big ol' pile of worth less crap! 665 00:48:50,690 --> 00:48:53,124 Clesius! Clesius! 666 00:48:54,427 --> 00:48:56,361 Oh. 667 00:48:58,898 --> 00:49:01,731 I'm just glad they're back in town so you can fii nally meet them. 668 00:49:01,801 --> 00:49:04,895 I'm extremely nervous because I really want to make a good impression. 669 00:49:04,971 --> 00:49:06,939 Sherman, there's no reason foryou to be nervous. 670 00:49:07,006 --> 00:49:10,840 My parents are very down-to-earth people, and they're gonna love you. 671 00:49:10,910 --> 00:49:14,903 I guess it's not like they're rocket scientists. Well, actually, they are. 672 00:49:14,981 --> 00:49:18,144 Daddy! Sweetheart! 673 00:49:18,218 --> 00:49:21,847 Great to see you. You must be Sherman, the genius who's marring my daughter. 674 00:49:21,921 --> 00:49:24,822 I guess that's me. 675 00:49:29,629 --> 00:49:34,760 They think I'm old. They think I'm worn-out, huh? I'm gonna show all of'em. 676 00:49:36,970 --> 00:49:40,406 Screw the golden years. And here's to youth! 677 00:49:49,482 --> 00:49:51,416 That's some nasty mess. 678 00:49:55,054 --> 00:49:57,420 I don't feel no- 679 00:50:16,609 --> 00:50:19,806 Damn, that was some nasty stuff! 680 00:50:19,879 --> 00:50:23,576 Oh, I feel as strange as hell. Oh! Hey, get your ass- 681 00:50:23,650 --> 00:50:26,084 Who the hell are you? Who you put- 682 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,494 It worked. It worked! 683 00:50:37,564 --> 00:50:40,260 Papa's got a brand-new bag 684 00:50:52,478 --> 00:50:56,073 Yeah! 685 00:50:58,651 --> 00:51:00,585 Oh, what a beautiful bird. 686 00:51:00,653 --> 00:51:03,281 Oh, Crackers has been in our family more than 50 years. 687 00:51:03,356 --> 00:51:07,122 Hmm? Fifty years. He's older than I am. 688 00:51:07,193 --> 00:51:11,289 Sherman, your fly. Your fly. Yeah, he can fly all over. 689 00:51:11,364 --> 00:51:13,958 No, no, no, zip your pants. 690 00:51:14,033 --> 00:51:19,519 Oh, my goodness. Excuse me. I felt - I felt a little breeze. 691 00:51:19,653 --> 00:51:22,053 So, uh, genomic extractions. 692 00:51:22,122 --> 00:51:24,249 Fascinating. 693 00:51:24,324 --> 00:51:28,590 But the whole concept ofremoving faultygenes must haveyou in an ethicalquandary. 694 00:51:28,662 --> 00:51:30,892 E- Excuse me. Ethical? 695 00:51:30,964 --> 00:51:34,923 Oh, yes, I don't know much about "Ethicals", to be perfectly honest with you. 696 00:51:35,001 --> 00:51:37,162 But the "Quandar"- I don't like the Japanese cars. 697 00:51:37,237 --> 00:51:38,602 I don't like the Ethical Quandary. 698 00:51:38,672 --> 00:51:42,631 I'm a Volvo man myself. Well, yeah. 699 00:51:44,044 --> 00:51:46,274 Oh! 700 00:51:50,450 --> 00:51:55,080 Sherman is known as the leading expert in genomic extractions. 701 00:51:55,155 --> 00:51:58,283 Give us a little preview of the speech you're going to make at the press conference. 702 00:52:02,662 --> 00:52:06,530 Say what now? I know we would never be able to keep up, 703 00:52:06,599 --> 00:52:09,534 but is there some way that you could explain it in layman terms? 704 00:52:09,602 --> 00:52:12,469 Oh, you'd like me to explain to you? 705 00:52:12,539 --> 00:52:15,474 Yes. Well, I would love to. I would be honored. 706 00:52:15,542 --> 00:52:18,409 It's really quite simple. This corn, for instance- 707 00:52:18,478 --> 00:52:21,970 This piece ofcorn here can represent a strand of DNA. 708 00:52:22,048 --> 00:52:24,016 And these little- 709 00:52:24,084 --> 00:52:27,178 the individual- the bumpy things that go- 710 00:52:27,253 --> 00:52:29,517 The Green Giant calls them "niblets. " Uh, niblets. 711 00:52:29,589 --> 00:52:32,649 These niblets represent each gene, and they determine everything about you. 712 00:52:32,726 --> 00:52:36,719 For instance, Mrs. Gaines, let's say if a person was to have big titties, like you. 713 00:52:36,796 --> 00:52:39,026 Sherman! I'm sorry. Big titties. 714 00:52:39,099 --> 00:52:41,693 No, breasts. Scratch it. Get off you. On me. 715 00:52:41,768 --> 00:52:44,430 Now, I have a big ass. Never mind that. 716 00:52:48,975 --> 00:52:53,708 What we're attempting to do here is to extract the, uh, the bad, badgenes. 717 00:52:53,780 --> 00:52:56,271 Extract that titty out. Andass comes out. 718 00:52:56,349 --> 00:52:58,283 And just leave the good genes, 719 00:52:58,351 --> 00:53:00,546 which is very simple if you think about it. 720 00:53:02,522 --> 00:53:04,285 Just ignore that. 721 00:53:04,357 --> 00:53:07,053 Please ignore those. Those are the badgenes. 722 00:53:07,127 --> 00:53:11,063 What I'm really tring to do is go deep, deep down into the gene structure, 723 00:53:11,131 --> 00:53:13,224 which oftentimes is much more difficult. 724 00:53:16,336 --> 00:53:19,100 Crackers! 725 00:53:19,172 --> 00:53:21,106 Oh, goodness! 726 00:53:23,443 --> 00:53:26,435 I'm- I'm so- so sorry about that. 727 00:53:26,513 --> 00:53:30,244 My pants got caught in the thing and they pulled it on out. 728 00:53:30,316 --> 00:53:32,477 His wings istwitching a little bit, so he's allright. 729 00:53:35,355 --> 00:53:37,846 Buddy Love. 730 00:53:37,924 --> 00:53:40,552 Mr. Love. Leanne Guilford. Yes, Miss Guilford. How are you? 731 00:53:40,627 --> 00:53:43,391 You forgotten we have an appointment right now? I had a hard time getting a cab. 732 00:53:43,463 --> 00:53:47,331 I'm on my way. I'll wait for a few more minutes and then I'm leaving. 733 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,233 Very good. I'll see you soon. All right. 734 00:53:50,303 --> 00:53:52,999 Yes! 735 00:53:53,072 --> 00:53:55,006 Whoo! This isgreat! 736 00:53:55,074 --> 00:53:58,339 Sir, uh, please don't do that. It's kind ofdangerous. 737 00:53:58,411 --> 00:54:02,370 You work here! Work here! 738 00:54:04,651 --> 00:54:06,448 Dynamite! 739 00:54:06,519 --> 00:54:08,453 Yeah! Whoo! 740 00:54:08,521 --> 00:54:11,718 Hey, let me have a seven and seven. Coming up. 741 00:54:13,893 --> 00:54:17,192 You about the fii nest-looking thing I seen in a long time. 742 00:54:17,263 --> 00:54:19,959 Well, thank you very much. You pretty damn foxy yourself, baby. 743 00:54:20,033 --> 00:54:23,127 A lot of young men are intimidated by an older woman. 744 00:54:23,203 --> 00:54:25,194 Is that right? Well, let me tell you something. 745 00:54:25,271 --> 00:54:28,536 You look pretty damn young to me. In fact, let me tell you something, baby. 746 00:54:28,608 --> 00:54:31,042 You just about the- You- 747 00:54:32,445 --> 00:54:36,609 Yeah, you look good. Pretty fine. Foxy fine and young. 748 00:54:36,683 --> 00:54:39,914 Excuse me one second. Yes, yes, yes. 749 00:54:39,986 --> 00:54:43,979 Get away from my woman. Mind your own business, Willie. 750 00:54:44,057 --> 00:54:46,787 What? It's over between us. He just won't accept it. 751 00:54:46,860 --> 00:54:50,296 Willie, she said it's over between y'all. Besides, you getting the wrong idea. 752 00:54:50,363 --> 00:54:53,958 Outside. Outside. I'm tired of this shit. Say what? Who you pushing? 753 00:54:54,033 --> 00:54:56,593 Not again, Willie. Willie, what's wrong with you? 754 00:54:56,669 --> 00:54:59,331 All right, enough is enough! This is going too damn far! 755 00:54:59,405 --> 00:55:03,136 You gonna make me have to put my foot in your ass. I'm gonna tell you straight up. 756 00:55:03,209 --> 00:55:07,168 I don't wanna have to hurt you, Pops! Pops? I'll "pop" your ass. 757 00:55:07,247 --> 00:55:09,511 Would you please put your clothes back on? 758 00:55:09,582 --> 00:55:12,244 You'll hurt yourself. You look like a roast chicken. 759 00:55:13,486 --> 00:55:15,818 That was a lucky shot. 760 00:55:18,057 --> 00:55:22,687 Okay, that's it. Come on, fool. Get your ass up. Come on. 761 00:55:22,762 --> 00:55:25,287 You're crazy. 762 00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:31,133 What the hell is this? Am I supposed to believe that you know "bujitsu"? 763 00:55:31,204 --> 00:55:32,637 Sayonara, sucker. 764 00:55:41,114 --> 00:55:43,048 All right. 765 00:55:43,116 --> 00:55:45,949 Meter reads 3.90. Here's 4.00. Keep the dime. Jerk. 766 00:55:46,019 --> 00:55:49,455 Ah, the lovely Miss Guilford. Where you on your way to? 767 00:55:49,522 --> 00:55:52,286 Home. Home? What do you mean? We got business to talk. 768 00:55:52,358 --> 00:55:56,454 All you seem to be is talk. I'm starting to think you don't even have a formula. 769 00:55:56,529 --> 00:55:58,463 Oh- We're gonna stick with Klump. 770 00:55:58,531 --> 00:56:01,523 Stick with Klump? I just got off the phone with my research people in Langley, Virginia. 771 00:56:01,601 --> 00:56:05,037 They're working out all the minorkinks. We gonna have a formula any moment now. 772 00:56:05,104 --> 00:56:07,402 Hey! Klump's formula sucks! 773 00:56:12,612 --> 00:56:14,842 All right, little man. 774 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:17,576 I've been real patient. 775 00:56:17,650 --> 00:56:21,313 I told you I'd mess you up. 776 00:56:27,493 --> 00:56:30,758 Oh, you scared now, huh? Bring your little butt back here. 777 00:56:30,830 --> 00:56:32,764 I'm tired ofyour- 778 00:56:34,734 --> 00:56:37,567 Damn. 779 00:56:37,637 --> 00:56:39,502 He done loosen my tooth too. 780 00:56:45,678 --> 00:56:48,476 So that's where Sherman's been hiding it. 781 00:56:48,548 --> 00:56:51,073 Klumpville. Chunkytown. 782 00:56:51,150 --> 00:56:53,880 Big-ass City. 783 00:57:03,596 --> 00:57:07,123 Clesius. Clesius. Lord have mercy. What have you been all evening? 784 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,293 I've been so worried. Wait. Don't turn on the light. 785 00:57:09,369 --> 00:57:13,430 Leave the light out. Oh, Clesius, I'm so sorry about what happened tonight. 786 00:57:13,506 --> 00:57:15,770 Yeah, well- Anna, 787 00:57:15,842 --> 00:57:18,936 you remember when we first met? 788 00:57:19,012 --> 00:57:21,708 Ofcourse I remember. Back at the state fair. Why? 789 00:57:21,781 --> 00:57:25,683 Yeah, the state fair. You was working the cotton candy. 790 00:57:25,752 --> 00:57:29,586 Standing looking like an angel. Had that pink sugar swirling all around you. 791 00:57:29,655 --> 00:57:32,590 I turned to my brother, and I said three words, 792 00:57:32,658 --> 00:57:35,752 "Mighty fine. " 793 00:57:37,830 --> 00:57:41,596 You must've ate 16 cotton candies that night, Clesius. 794 00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:44,101 Yeah, well, I was interested. 795 00:57:44,170 --> 00:57:46,695 I was interested. I was damn interested. 796 00:57:50,510 --> 00:57:52,671 Closeyoureyes, Anna. I got a little surprise for you. 797 00:57:52,745 --> 00:57:56,306 Oh, Clesius. 798 00:57:56,382 --> 00:57:59,112 Oh! 799 00:57:59,185 --> 00:58:01,710 Here lam. I'm ready, andl'm waiting. 800 00:58:01,788 --> 00:58:03,915 Oh, that some nasty stuff. Okay, what you got for me? 801 00:58:03,990 --> 00:58:07,926 It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. 802 00:58:07,994 --> 00:58:10,258 Oh, you always been such a sexy devil. 803 00:58:13,099 --> 00:58:15,067 Oh, Clesius, I'm on fire. 804 00:58:15,134 --> 00:58:18,626 Oh, Clesius! Hurr, Clesius. 805 00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:21,298 Hurr, Clesius! 806 00:58:21,374 --> 00:58:23,672 Hurry, Clesius. Hurry. Hurry, Clesius. 807 00:58:23,743 --> 00:58:25,938 Yeah, yeah. I've been waiting so long. 808 00:58:26,012 --> 00:58:29,311 Clesius, I'm on fire. I know you've been waiting, baby. 809 00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:32,545 Oh, Clesius, this is so romantic. Yeah, Clesius here now. 810 00:58:32,618 --> 00:58:34,950 I'm on fire. Anna Pearl, Anna Pearl. 811 00:58:35,021 --> 00:58:39,390 Yeah, I'm gonna put your fire out. 812 00:58:39,459 --> 00:58:42,214 It's okay, baby. It's okay. 813 00:58:42,348 --> 00:58:44,578 Anna, it's me. It's me. It's Clesius. I'm just young again. 814 00:58:44,650 --> 00:58:47,118 Oh, Lord, Clesius, what have you done to yourself? 815 00:58:47,186 --> 00:58:49,245 I took some of Sherman's youth juice, and it's incredible. 816 00:58:49,321 --> 00:58:52,449 I got enough for both of us too. 817 00:58:52,524 --> 00:58:55,118 Damn. Don't worry about it. I got some more in the garage. I'm not taking that mess. 818 00:58:55,194 --> 00:58:57,219 I don't want no magic formula. 819 00:58:57,296 --> 00:59:00,527 What's wrong with you, woman? Don't you wanna be young? No, I don't wanna be young. 820 00:59:00,599 --> 00:59:04,865 Clesius, we're supposed to be who we are, andl'm just fine with who lam. 821 00:59:04,937 --> 00:59:08,703 But, obviously, what you're tring to say is that you'rejust tired... 822 00:59:08,774 --> 00:59:11,971 of the fat, old woman that you got married to. Oh, no, Anna. 823 00:59:12,044 --> 00:59:14,535 That's not what I'm saying. That ain't what I'm saying at all. 824 00:59:14,613 --> 00:59:17,605 Downstairs. I think you better sleep downstairs. Anna, please, no, baby. 825 00:59:17,683 --> 00:59:21,210 But I was just- - Downstairs, Clesius. I don't wanna hear it. 826 00:59:24,890 --> 00:59:28,223 Oh, Clesius, I'm so disappointed in you. 827 00:59:31,530 --> 00:59:35,967 I just feel so god-awful terrible about what happened to Crackers. 828 00:59:36,034 --> 00:59:38,229 Imagine what your parents must think about me. 829 00:59:38,303 --> 00:59:40,567 Sherman, you were acting really strange tonight. 830 00:59:40,639 --> 00:59:43,130 Yeah, I know, 'cause, um, I drank that wine, 831 00:59:43,208 --> 00:59:45,574 and I had cold medicine early on. 832 00:59:45,644 --> 00:59:48,704 And mixing cold medicine and wine- that don't mix. 833 00:59:48,781 --> 00:59:50,874 Well, cold medicine or not, 834 00:59:50,949 --> 00:59:53,440 I'm really worried about you. 835 00:59:53,519 --> 00:59:55,919 And I really think you should get a checkup. 836 00:59:57,723 --> 01:00:00,419 All right. I will. Yeah, I will. 837 01:00:00,492 --> 01:00:02,960 Okay. Go home and get some rest, 838 01:00:03,028 --> 01:00:05,997 and first thing in the morning, I'll make an appointment to get a checkup. 839 01:00:06,064 --> 01:00:09,158 Good. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. 840 01:00:09,234 --> 01:00:12,829 Sorry about Crackers. I'm sorry. Okay? Okay. Okay. 841 01:00:15,574 --> 01:00:17,508 Mm. 842 01:00:20,412 --> 01:00:23,540 Pervert. "Beef in your taco. " 843 01:00:26,652 --> 01:00:29,746 I'm a pony! I'm a pony! Mommy, I'm scared. 844 01:00:29,822 --> 01:00:31,619 Nowback to the midnight movie. 845 01:00:36,829 --> 01:00:40,026 A huge asteroid, approximately 1,000 square miles in size, 846 01:00:40,098 --> 01:00:43,329 is still on a collision course with Earth. 847 01:00:46,171 --> 01:00:48,571 Wellman College Professor Sherman Klump... 848 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:53,134 is attempting to plant a nuclear explosive device deep within the asteroid core, 849 01:00:53,212 --> 01:00:55,305 which, if effective, will destroy it. 850 01:01:00,018 --> 01:01:02,885 Houston, come in. This is Professor Klump on the asteroid's surface. 851 01:01:02,955 --> 01:01:05,890 We read you, Professor. What's your status? 852 01:01:05,958 --> 01:01:08,927 We've done dug the hole and planted the nukes. 853 01:01:08,994 --> 01:01:11,690 Good. Then get back in your shuttle and get the hell out of there... 854 01:01:11,763 --> 01:01:14,391 so you can blow that rock to bits. 855 01:01:14,466 --> 01:01:17,560 Sherman, you've got 30 seconds before that asteroid hits. Better hurry. 856 01:01:17,636 --> 01:01:19,729 The world's counting on it. 857 01:01:24,576 --> 01:01:27,670 Fifteen seconds. Sherman, start the detonation sequence now. 858 01:01:29,248 --> 01:01:31,842 Hello, Houston. We got a big-assproblem. 859 01:01:31,917 --> 01:01:35,409 Sherman, you've got to blow up the asteroid. Press that button! 860 01:01:35,487 --> 01:01:38,752 I... can't... reach it. Sherman. 861 01:01:41,727 --> 01:01:45,424 Sherman, I am your father. Search your feelings, Sherman. 862 01:01:45,497 --> 01:01:50,958 There's a force deep down inside you. Use it. Use your force, Sherman. 863 01:01:51,036 --> 01:01:53,800 Of course. 864 01:01:56,909 --> 01:02:01,209 Ah, yes. The force is strong with you, my son. 865 01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:03,771 Goddamn. What the hell was that noise? 866 01:02:03,849 --> 01:02:07,148 Whew! I think something crawled up your force and died, Sherman. 867 01:02:12,858 --> 01:02:17,022 Ten seconds to impact. My God! 868 01:02:17,095 --> 01:02:20,462 He didn't plant those charges on the asteroid. Then where did he plant them? 869 01:02:22,768 --> 01:02:24,497 Okay. 870 01:02:24,570 --> 01:02:27,505 Good-bye, Mr. Asteroid. 871 01:02:27,573 --> 01:02:30,633 This is gonna be good. Yeah. 872 01:02:30,709 --> 01:02:35,510 Wait a minute. Did I land on the wrong Oh, shit. 873 01:02:41,453 --> 01:02:44,513 Oh, no. I done blowed up the wrong one. 874 01:02:44,590 --> 01:02:46,490 Good-bye, Sherman. 875 01:02:46,558 --> 01:02:48,753 Denise, please don't- It was an accident. Denise- 876 01:02:48,827 --> 01:02:52,228 I'm sure it'I I just make a little splash in the ocean. That's all. 877 01:02:52,297 --> 01:02:54,731 See,just a little, tiny- 878 01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:57,234 Oh, that ain't tiny at all, is it? 879 01:03:04,910 --> 01:03:06,844 I am an idiot. 880 01:03:10,248 --> 01:03:13,376 Oh, thank you, Granny, so much. You are too sweet. 881 01:03:13,452 --> 01:03:16,353 Yeah, that's a little special present for your wedding night. 882 01:03:16,421 --> 01:03:18,252 Oh, fabulous. Romantic and fabulous. 883 01:03:18,323 --> 01:03:21,019 Oh, Mama! 884 01:03:21,093 --> 01:03:23,027 Ooh! 885 01:03:23,095 --> 01:03:28,055 Thank you, Granny. Maybe something I wouldn't have chosen for myself. Thank you. 886 01:03:28,133 --> 01:03:30,795 Well, I didn't choose it for you, baby. I got it for Sherman. 887 01:03:30,869 --> 01:03:34,361 He's gonna be the one that's gonna appreciate the hell out of it, trust me. 888 01:03:34,439 --> 01:03:39,399 Girls, I got tago check on the rest of my surprise. Y'all excuse me fora moment. 889 01:03:39,478 --> 01:03:43,005 Girls, Isawthe most fabulousgame the otherday. It's calledBachelorette Bingo. 890 01:03:43,081 --> 01:03:46,312 Let'splay. Oh, this is so fabulous! 891 01:04:08,874 --> 01:04:14,210 This is Miss Ida Mae Jensen. I'm calling to confirm a male stripper fantasy, 892 01:04:14,279 --> 01:04:17,248 the Muy Caliente Vida Loca special. 893 01:04:26,258 --> 01:04:29,022 Goddamn. 894 01:04:42,107 --> 01:04:47,044 Yeah, that's right. Well, where they at? We all ready here. Now- 895 01:04:47,112 --> 01:04:49,478 Oh, never mind. 896 01:04:49,548 --> 01:04:51,675 Isee him overhere now. Okay. 897 01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:55,618 Yes, we will enjoy. Thankyou. 898 01:04:55,687 --> 01:04:59,418 Now, that's what I call the Muy Caliente... 899 01:04:59,491 --> 01:05:02,187 El Negro special. 900 01:05:02,260 --> 01:05:04,353 Mmm-mmm! 901 01:05:23,882 --> 01:05:26,544 Hey. 902 01:05:26,618 --> 01:05:28,552 Well, hello there, stripper man. 903 01:05:28,620 --> 01:05:33,353 Now, you know, lordered the special, and you supposed to be dressed as a fireman. 904 01:05:33,425 --> 01:05:37,054 Stripperman? Oh, stripper Oh, yes, stripperman. 905 01:05:37,129 --> 01:05:39,529 Well, I, um I decided not to do my fii reman dance tonight, 906 01:05:39,598 --> 01:05:42,533 because last time I did it, things got so heated up, kind of scorched my suit. 907 01:05:42,601 --> 01:05:46,002 So I decided to do my cat burglar dance. And I slip through the back door... 908 01:05:46,071 --> 01:05:48,335 and I'm kind of poking around, 'cause I'm a method stripper... 909 01:05:48,406 --> 01:05:50,931 and I want to get the right frame of mind so I can give y'all some good stripping. 910 01:05:51,009 --> 01:05:55,946 You know, work it for you. You know, you look just like Ken Norton in Mandingo. 911 01:05:56,014 --> 01:05:59,040 Oh, really? Oh, Ken Norton Oh, Mandingo. Ken Norton. Really? 912 01:05:59,117 --> 01:06:02,484 I guess this is the closest I'm gonna ever get to Ken Norton. 913 01:06:02,554 --> 01:06:06,064 Well, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 914 01:06:06,133 --> 01:06:08,658 I wonder if you could give me a little private dance. 915 01:06:08,735 --> 01:06:11,135 Oh, okay. You want a private You wanna slow down? 916 01:06:11,204 --> 01:06:13,399 Stop, stop, stop! I'm gonna need some space here. 917 01:06:13,473 --> 01:06:16,033 You want a private dance. Okay, I can do that. 918 01:06:16,109 --> 01:06:20,842 But first, um, I'm so thirsty. I got a craving for some - for some red fruit punch. 919 01:06:20,914 --> 01:06:24,247 Red fruit punch? I ain't seen none in the house, boy. 920 01:06:24,317 --> 01:06:26,683 But today I seen some out in the Frigidaire, out in the garage. 921 01:06:26,753 --> 01:06:29,415 Oh, there may be some in the garage? Well, after I quench my thirst, 922 01:06:29,489 --> 01:06:31,753 I'm gonna come give you a dance. Ow! 923 01:06:31,825 --> 01:06:34,988 I'll be moving like this. You like that, don't you? Yeah, that's like Soul Train. 924 01:06:35,061 --> 01:06:37,996 That's la vida loca. Make this face here like I'm tearing it up. 925 01:06:38,064 --> 01:06:41,659 Oh, good Lord. Oh, my precious Lord. You like that? 926 01:06:41,735 --> 01:06:44,863 Don't move now. I ain't going nowhere. I'll be right here for the Soul Train. 927 01:06:44,938 --> 01:06:50,342 I'll be right back. For the Soul Train! 928 01:06:50,410 --> 01:06:52,378 I'll be right back. 929 01:06:54,247 --> 01:06:56,579 Oh, my goodness, is there a fii re? 930 01:06:56,650 --> 01:07:00,245 Yes, ma'am, I'm afraid there is. I don't smell no smoke. 931 01:07:02,956 --> 01:07:04,924 There's a fii re in my pants... 932 01:07:04,991 --> 01:07:07,221 and it's getting muy caliente! 933 01:07:07,294 --> 01:07:11,390 Oh, Lord, have mercy! A strip- Oh, my! 934 01:07:13,099 --> 01:07:15,863 My mother must've arranged this. 935 01:07:17,103 --> 01:07:19,571 Where are you? Oop- 936 01:07:19,639 --> 01:07:22,767 Oh, bingo! Bingo. 937 01:07:22,843 --> 01:07:25,812 Chunky Butt, thank you so much for making this easy. 938 01:07:25,879 --> 01:07:27,904 I thought this was gonna be diffiicult. 939 01:07:27,981 --> 01:07:30,541 Chunky Butt made this a nice, easy task forme. 940 01:07:30,617 --> 01:07:32,881 Yes, yes, yes. 941 01:07:35,188 --> 01:07:38,783 Perfect. Now I gotta find something to cut this with. 942 01:07:38,859 --> 01:07:40,793 Maybe a little fertilizer or something. 943 01:07:40,861 --> 01:07:45,457 Oh, this is gonna be perfect, Chunky Butt. 944 01:07:45,532 --> 01:07:50,367 I think this will help spruce up your presentation quite a bit. 945 01:07:53,473 --> 01:07:55,304 Oh, Lord! 946 01:07:55,375 --> 01:08:00,078 I didn't know there was gonna be a stripper. 947 01:08:01,348 --> 01:08:05,717 Mama! Mama! 948 01:08:16,596 --> 01:08:20,760 Love 949 01:08:20,834 --> 01:08:27,933 Is a many splendoredthing 950 01:08:28,008 --> 01:08:31,000 It's the April-rose 951 01:08:31,077 --> 01:08:34,171 That only grows 952 01:08:34,247 --> 01:08:38,809 In the early spring 953 01:08:39,886 --> 01:08:42,650 Love is nature's way 954 01:08:42,722 --> 01:08:45,885 Of giving 955 01:08:45,959 --> 01:08:51,488 A reason to be living 956 01:08:51,564 --> 01:08:54,158 The golden crown 957 01:08:54,234 --> 01:08:55,724 That makes a man 958 01:08:55,802 --> 01:08:58,965 A king 959 01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:04,167 Oh, we gonna have the whole room smelling like ass. 960 01:09:04,244 --> 01:09:08,476 Shake it, shake. And it's like I was never here. 961 01:09:08,548 --> 01:09:11,016 Oh! Oh! 962 01:09:11,084 --> 01:09:13,917 Hey! You scared me just now. I thought you was a monster. 963 01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:15,921 Mmm-mmm! What areyou- 964 01:09:15,989 --> 01:09:19,755 Hey, what- Stripper man, stripper man. 965 01:09:19,826 --> 01:09:23,057 You're not supposed to be out here. This must be your lucky night. 966 01:09:23,129 --> 01:09:26,565 You're supposed to be in the house. I'm fiittin' to teach you... 967 01:09:26,633 --> 01:09:29,193 ever trick I know. 968 01:09:29,269 --> 01:09:33,205 I seen the way you logging me inside. No, no, no, no. 969 01:09:33,273 --> 01:09:35,571 I'm logging you too. 970 01:09:35,642 --> 01:09:40,477 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 971 01:09:42,582 --> 01:09:45,449 Oh, stripper man. 972 01:09:45,518 --> 01:09:48,248 Oh, I feel so vulnerable. 973 01:09:48,321 --> 01:09:51,586 Come on. Let's get it on right now, right here, right now. 974 01:09:51,658 --> 01:09:54,593 Oh, stripper. Wait. Just calm Relax a second. 975 01:09:54,661 --> 01:09:57,425 Now, listen. We gonna get it on. But not out here. 976 01:09:57,497 --> 01:09:59,692 You don't wanna get it on out here, do you, in this nasty, stink garage? 977 01:09:59,766 --> 01:10:02,735 Let's go in the house in a warm bed where I can give you the shimmy. 978 01:10:02,802 --> 01:10:06,966 I'll meet you in your room. I ain't falling for that trick. 979 01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:08,974 I'm gonna get that knot out your back. 980 01:10:09,042 --> 01:10:12,773 You gonna have togive me a little sugar right now, or I'll scream. 981 01:10:12,846 --> 01:10:15,838 No, no, don't scream. Don't scream. 982 01:10:15,915 --> 01:10:19,373 No, no, no. Shh, shh. Wait, wait, wait. I'll give you a little kiss. 983 01:10:19,452 --> 01:10:23,718 A little peck on the cheek. Meet you up in the room. Ain't gonna hurt nobody. 984 01:10:23,790 --> 01:10:27,282 You're so cute. Come here. I want a little sugar. 985 01:10:28,361 --> 01:10:31,922 Oh, God! 986 01:10:31,998 --> 01:10:34,398 Oh, Ken Norton! 987 01:10:53,086 --> 01:10:56,647 Folks, we want toget everybody into the presentation, 988 01:10:56,723 --> 01:10:58,748 so please have your press credentials ready. 989 01:11:13,373 --> 01:11:17,366 Well, if it isn't ol' Chunky Butt. Buddy, what are you doing here? 990 01:11:17,444 --> 01:11:20,436 I just came down for your big presentation. You're not nervous, are you? 991 01:11:20,513 --> 01:11:22,777 No, I ain't nervous. "No, I ain't. " "No, I ain't. " 992 01:11:22,849 --> 01:11:25,647 That's interesting. Starting to sound kind of ignorant. 993 01:11:25,718 --> 01:11:27,652 But don't worry. If this professor thing don't work out, 994 01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:29,984 there's always room for another brother down at the car wash. 995 01:11:30,056 --> 01:11:31,990 They could put a big beach towel on your ass, 996 01:11:32,058 --> 01:11:33,992 and you can stand in the doorway as the cars come out... 997 01:11:34,060 --> 01:11:35,994 and dry 'em a side at a time. 998 01:11:36,062 --> 01:11:39,998 That's your future. Buddy, I notice since the split-up... 999 01:11:40,066 --> 01:11:43,797 that, uh, I ain't really I haven't really felt like myself. 1000 01:11:43,870 --> 01:11:45,804 I was wondering if you've been experiencing any changes. 1001 01:11:45,872 --> 01:11:48,397 Not at all. I feel great. Never felt better in my life. 1002 01:11:48,475 --> 01:11:51,205 Business is really starting to look up for me, Sherm. 1003 01:11:52,712 --> 01:11:55,010 Hey, you betterrun! Come here! 1004 01:11:55,081 --> 01:11:57,413 Come here, pussy! You're a pussy! That's what you are. 1005 01:11:57,484 --> 01:12:00,578 I'll killyou! I'll killyou! Come here, you pussy! 1006 01:12:00,653 --> 01:12:02,587 Sherman coming on in a minute. 1007 01:12:02,655 --> 01:12:05,818 Well, what channel's Sherman gonna come on? Anybody know? 1008 01:12:05,892 --> 01:12:09,328 Have some of these brownies. They're still warm. Don't drop 'em on my floor now. 1009 01:12:09,395 --> 01:12:12,523 All right, everbody. Sherman getting ready to come on TV now. Everbody gather around. 1010 01:12:12,599 --> 01:12:14,897 You know, fame is gonna pass. 1011 01:12:14,968 --> 01:12:16,902 And the only thing that's permanent is family. 1012 01:12:16,970 --> 01:12:19,803 Ain't that right, Daddy? Oh, shit! Get your ass out that chair! 1013 01:12:19,873 --> 01:12:22,808 How many times, Ernest, I gotta tell you to stay out my damn chair? Aw, man. 1014 01:12:22,876 --> 01:12:25,811 You work on them cars all day gonna put the grease all in my chair, smear the grease there. 1015 01:12:25,879 --> 01:12:28,609 Gotta sit on this grease. My gray pants still got grease all over 'em 'cause ofyou. 1016 01:12:28,681 --> 01:12:30,945 You happy? You got your chair. Enjoy. Stay out my damn chair. 1017 01:12:31,017 --> 01:12:35,283 Ernest, will you please tell your father to be quiet? Sherman's coming on. 1018 01:12:35,355 --> 01:12:37,516 What channel Sherman come on? Tell me what she just said, 1019 01:12:37,590 --> 01:12:40,286 I'll come over there and whup your ass. 1020 01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:43,090 That's the channel. Watch the damn TV. 1021 01:12:43,163 --> 01:12:46,223 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for coming out. My name is Professor Sherman Klump. 1022 01:12:46,299 --> 01:12:49,530 I'm a professor here at Wellman College. 1023 01:12:49,602 --> 01:12:52,093 Ooh! Look at him. 1024 01:12:52,172 --> 01:12:55,107 Joe College. Look how dashing he look. He look just like Billy Dee. 1025 01:12:55,175 --> 01:12:58,941 Boy look handsome. Billy Dee! Billy Dee! Billy Dee! Billy Dee! 1026 01:12:59,012 --> 01:13:01,776 Billy Dee Klump. As you all know, 1027 01:13:01,848 --> 01:13:05,716 Ponce de Leon searched his entire life for the Fountain ofYouth. 1028 01:13:05,785 --> 01:13:08,754 And today we will complete his journey. 1029 01:13:08,821 --> 01:13:12,587 So, uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'dlike to present to you all, 1030 01:13:12,659 --> 01:13:17,562 uh, the Wellman College youth formula. 1031 01:13:17,630 --> 01:13:20,224 Maybe I need to take some ofthat. It don't cure ugly. 1032 01:13:20,300 --> 01:13:22,768 Does Clesius know I'm strapped? 1033 01:13:22,835 --> 01:13:25,565 Well, come on. Shoot. Come on. Shoot. I'm strapped, nigga. 1034 01:13:25,638 --> 01:13:27,469 Tell him. I'm strapped. And ifyou miss, I'm gonna finish you off. 1035 01:13:27,540 --> 01:13:30,304 If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all. 1036 01:13:30,376 --> 01:13:33,345 Well, she messin' with me. Stop the violence. Stop the violence. 1037 01:13:33,413 --> 01:13:36,678 And don't say nothing. I'm tring to watch Sherman. 1038 01:13:36,749 --> 01:13:38,683 Okay, cool, cool. 1039 01:13:40,353 --> 01:13:42,514 Boy, would I like to throw some hot grease on you. 1040 01:13:45,510 --> 01:13:49,037 This is Molly. Molly is a one-year-old, and Petey is four. 1041 01:13:49,113 --> 01:13:53,641 Petey is our candidate for genetic "transmografiication. " 1042 01:13:55,620 --> 01:13:59,386 Petey here Petey is ourcandidate forgenetic "transmofilectesy. " 1043 01:13:59,457 --> 01:14:02,085 Genetic "transgromanation. " 1044 01:14:02,159 --> 01:14:04,787 The "youthification-" That ain't a word. 1045 01:14:04,862 --> 01:14:06,796 Howcome Uncle Sherman's talking funny? 1046 01:14:06,864 --> 01:14:10,300 He's starting to sound like you, Dad. He don't sound right, do he? 1047 01:14:10,368 --> 01:14:13,064 What do you mean, "sound like me"? What's that? Sherman up in a ivor tower... 1048 01:14:13,137 --> 01:14:15,071 just 'cause he went to college. 1049 01:14:15,139 --> 01:14:18,267 I could've gone to college if I took that damn... 1050 01:14:18,342 --> 01:14:21,106 elastic "appitude" test. 1051 01:14:21,178 --> 01:14:23,772 Hey, shut up. What the hell's wrong with Sherman? 1052 01:14:23,848 --> 01:14:27,807 You be breaking me down in front of my seed on the regular. 1053 01:14:27,885 --> 01:14:31,082 The reason we, uh- he- We gonna make him young. 1054 01:14:31,155 --> 01:14:34,921 So I say, um, let's get it on! 1055 01:14:38,496 --> 01:14:41,397 I'm gonna just give a drop ofthis to Petey. 1056 01:14:41,465 --> 01:14:43,865 We watch and see what happens. 1057 01:14:58,716 --> 01:15:01,048 Isaac, you watching that? Hey, that ain't right. 1058 01:15:02,687 --> 01:15:06,885 Hamsters will be hamsters, huh? Oh! 1059 01:15:30,147 --> 01:15:32,377 What in blazes- - Oh! - Look at that! 1060 01:15:32,450 --> 01:15:35,146 That's cool. That's real cool. Look at that! 1061 01:15:35,219 --> 01:15:36,846 Petey! Down, boy! 1062 01:15:48,599 --> 01:15:52,262 Petey! Shoot him! Shoot him! 1063 01:16:30,508 --> 01:16:33,705 No, no. No. Please, I'm not that kindof- 1064 01:16:33,778 --> 01:16:35,643 Guy 1065 01:16:38,049 --> 01:16:41,041 Oh, my God. I have to turn the channel. I don't want my babyseeing that. 1066 01:16:41,118 --> 01:16:43,450 That man ain't never gonna be right again. Oh! 1067 01:16:43,521 --> 01:16:46,319 Somebody need to take Isaac's pressure. Oh, what's wrong with this? 1068 01:16:46,390 --> 01:16:48,551 Something like that will ruin a man. Coverthe baby's eyes. 1069 01:16:48,626 --> 01:16:51,254 That's too much excitement for my baby. Turn the channel. 1070 01:16:51,328 --> 01:16:54,764 - I can't even turn. - That's nasty. - That's what that is. 1071 01:16:54,832 --> 01:16:57,460 Turn the baby's eyes. And he don't need to know what it is, Mama. 1072 01:16:57,535 --> 01:17:00,402 Now, was that supposed to happen? 1073 01:17:02,773 --> 01:17:06,072 It's the lovely Miss Guilford. Mr. Love. 1074 01:17:06,143 --> 01:17:08,338 What a wonderful day we're having, huh? 1075 01:17:08,412 --> 01:17:10,346 Why am I not surprised to see you here? 1076 01:17:10,414 --> 01:17:13,042 Well, I figured since it turns out that Professor Klump ain't your man after all, 1077 01:17:13,117 --> 01:17:15,051 you might wanna talk a deal. 1078 01:17:17,655 --> 01:17:21,421 All right. Have your formula ready for presentation on Friday. 1079 01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:23,426 Friday it is. 1080 01:17:23,494 --> 01:17:25,519 See you Friday. Lovely dress. Mm-hmm. 1081 01:17:25,596 --> 01:17:27,530 I'll wear something sharp. 1082 01:17:35,606 --> 01:17:37,904 Oh, Dean. I'm just tring to figure out what went wrong here. 1083 01:17:37,975 --> 01:17:41,376 I just don't understand. It must've been some sort of contaminant or something. 1084 01:17:41,445 --> 01:17:45,506 The deal with Phleer is off. I just spoke to Leanne Guilford. 1085 01:17:45,583 --> 01:17:47,517 But that doesn't botherme. 1086 01:17:47,585 --> 01:17:50,918 After all, what's $150 million? 1087 01:17:50,988 --> 01:17:54,981 Oh! Dean Richmond, I am so sorry. 1088 01:17:55,059 --> 01:17:58,290 I'm really tring to get to the bottom of this, because this was not supposed to happen. 1089 01:17:58,362 --> 01:18:00,353 No, that's not what bothers me. 1090 01:18:00,431 --> 01:18:02,524 Deals will come and deals will go. 1091 01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:05,569 Wellman... will always be Wellman. 1092 01:18:05,636 --> 01:18:08,104 But I'll tell you what does bother me. 1093 01:18:08,172 --> 01:18:11,539 On the way over here, a cute little boy pointed at me and said, 1094 01:18:11,609 --> 01:18:15,773 "Oh, look, Mommy, there goes the hamster's bitch!" 1095 01:18:25,689 --> 01:18:28,886 Uh- Dean, whatever it's worth, 1096 01:18:28,959 --> 01:18:33,089 Petey is back to normal and feelingjust fine. Oh, yeah? 1097 01:18:33,164 --> 01:18:36,156 Do you think he'll call? 1098 01:18:36,233 --> 01:18:40,693 Dean, I just want to tell you, I'm I'm sorry. Stop... speaking! 1099 01:18:40,771 --> 01:18:45,174 I just want to go on record as saying that- 1100 01:18:45,242 --> 01:18:49,372 Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh. 1101 01:18:50,981 --> 01:18:55,247 I've been looking forward to saying something to you for 12 years. 1102 01:18:55,319 --> 01:18:58,413 And here it is. 1103 01:18:58,489 --> 01:19:02,186 You're fat! 1104 01:19:05,763 --> 01:19:10,257 And dumb. 1105 01:19:12,336 --> 01:19:14,304 And fired. 1106 01:19:33,057 --> 01:19:34,991 Sherman. 1107 01:19:35,059 --> 01:19:37,425 It's not your fault. 1108 01:19:37,494 --> 01:19:40,054 I ain't never- 1109 01:19:40,130 --> 01:19:42,496 I'm never gonna be the same again, am I? 1110 01:19:42,566 --> 01:19:44,659 I'm afraid not. 1111 01:19:51,041 --> 01:19:55,205 Since you've separated brain cells have been damaged. 1112 01:19:55,279 --> 01:19:58,806 your speech and memory- 1113 01:19:58,883 --> 01:20:01,351 I know. I'll be a total idiot. 1114 01:20:03,754 --> 01:20:06,416 Don't you think it's time you told Denise? 1115 01:20:06,490 --> 01:20:09,220 Oh, no, Jason. I can't do that. 1116 01:20:09,293 --> 01:20:11,727 How can I tell her I'm losing the very thing... 1117 01:20:11,795 --> 01:20:14,423 that made her fall in love with me in the first place? 1118 01:20:17,067 --> 01:20:19,001 Mm-mmm. 1119 01:20:38,222 --> 01:20:41,191 Hi. Sherman, what are you doing here? 1120 01:20:43,994 --> 01:20:48,021 How you doing? Your mama told me I might be able to find you here. 1121 01:20:48,098 --> 01:20:51,033 I've been looking all over the place for you. I've been leaving messages everwhere. 1122 01:20:51,101 --> 01:20:55,003 I went by your place. Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind. 1123 01:20:55,072 --> 01:20:58,041 You know, I walk around, going around, getting time to think. 1124 01:20:58,108 --> 01:21:00,079 I wonder if I can talk to you about something. 1125 01:21:00,213 --> 01:21:02,181 Look, I know you're upset about what happened. 1126 01:21:02,248 --> 01:21:04,614 But we can get right back to work with the youth formula, 1127 01:21:04,684 --> 01:21:07,619 and I think the problem- No, not science. 1128 01:21:07,687 --> 01:21:11,214 Denise, I'm not This isn't about science. We can start completely over. 1129 01:21:11,290 --> 01:21:14,088 We can find another university. After the wedding, we can even- 1130 01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:17,027 That's what I'm talking about- the wedding. 1131 01:21:17,096 --> 01:21:20,532 Denise, I don't think there's going to be a wedding. 1132 01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:22,693 Well, not- not right away anyway. 1133 01:21:22,768 --> 01:21:25,896 I mean, my head's just kind of messed up right now, 1134 01:21:25,972 --> 01:21:28,270 and I don't think it'd be fair to you. 1135 01:21:28,341 --> 01:21:30,332 What? 1136 01:21:30,409 --> 01:21:32,877 I made a mistake. 1137 01:21:32,945 --> 01:21:36,472 And I have to work that mistake out. I have to live with that. 1138 01:21:36,549 --> 01:21:40,576 Me, not you. See, you're so pretty, and you're so smart. 1139 01:21:40,653 --> 01:21:42,587 You just got your whole life ahead of you. 1140 01:21:42,655 --> 01:21:45,818 I just don't want to mess things up foryou. I'm- 1141 01:21:45,891 --> 01:21:47,825 I'm sorry, Denise. 1142 01:21:53,966 --> 01:21:55,991 I think I'd better get going. 1143 01:22:28,567 --> 01:22:30,933 You allright? 1144 01:22:31,003 --> 01:22:33,471 Oh, I just don't understand, Clesius. 1145 01:22:33,539 --> 01:22:35,973 And he won't tell me why. 1146 01:22:36,042 --> 01:22:40,240 Anna, listen. Sometimes a man do some crazy things, you know? 1147 01:22:40,313 --> 01:22:42,076 Oh! 1148 01:22:42,148 --> 01:22:45,276 Not that he's tring to hurt nobody. He's not tring to tell you he don't love you. 1149 01:22:45,351 --> 01:22:47,512 It's just- 1150 01:22:47,586 --> 01:22:50,714 Sometimes you get kind of confused, you know? 1151 01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:56,555 You hear what I'm saying? 1152 01:22:57,963 --> 01:23:01,421 Yes, Clesius, I hear what you're saying. 1153 01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:04,162 I'll talk to the boy. 1154 01:23:04,236 --> 01:23:06,227 Everthing was so fabulous. 1155 01:23:06,305 --> 01:23:10,002 You cut out that cring now. It's all right. 1156 01:23:10,076 --> 01:23:14,274 Stop all that crying. Go clean your nose up. 1157 01:23:14,347 --> 01:23:17,783 Go wash your hands. Snot all over the place looking nasty as hell. 1158 01:23:17,850 --> 01:23:21,911 What's this on me? Goddamn, look what you put on me, Anna. What's this on me for? 1159 01:23:30,463 --> 01:23:32,397 Yeah, you know something, Sherman? 1160 01:23:32,465 --> 01:23:35,025 The very first building I ever worked on was on this site right here. 1161 01:23:35,101 --> 01:23:38,935 Yep. Isn't that something? It was a baker. 1162 01:23:39,004 --> 01:23:41,495 Yeah. Tore it down two years ago. 1163 01:23:41,574 --> 01:23:43,872 Thirty-fiive years later, I wind up working on the thing, 1164 01:23:43,943 --> 01:23:46,377 building it up all over again; ain't that something? 1165 01:23:46,445 --> 01:23:50,347 I expected the building I worked on was permanent. 1166 01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:52,816 But I was wrong, 'cause it ain't. 1167 01:23:52,885 --> 01:23:55,513 That's not permanent. You know what's permanent, Sherman? 1168 01:23:55,588 --> 01:23:58,489 You know what's permanent? I'm gonna tell you. 1169 01:23:58,557 --> 01:24:01,685 What me and your mama got. That's permanent. 1170 01:24:01,761 --> 01:24:04,662 That ain't going no place. You know what I mean? 1171 01:24:04,730 --> 01:24:07,130 If you get you a woman that really, really loves you, 1172 01:24:07,199 --> 01:24:09,394 you've got to hold on to that, Sherman. 1173 01:24:12,138 --> 01:24:16,837 Yeah, that's true, Daddy. Yeah, I knows I sure do love Denise. 1174 01:24:16,909 --> 01:24:19,434 Well, then y'all gotta get back together then. 1175 01:24:21,347 --> 01:24:26,410 Get back together? Daddy, that's it. Yeah. 1176 01:24:26,485 --> 01:24:30,854 Get back together. If we get back together, that'll make everthing okay. 1177 01:24:30,923 --> 01:24:33,824 Dynamite. Go call the girl. Say what? Not Denise. Buddy. 1178 01:24:33,893 --> 01:24:37,488 Me and Buddy get back together, that'll make everthing fine between me and Denise. 1179 01:24:37,563 --> 01:24:40,259 Hey, you just took the wrong off-ramp. 1180 01:24:40,332 --> 01:24:44,496 I can use the youth formula. I'll feed it to Buddy. It'll make him so young. 1181 01:24:44,570 --> 01:24:48,097 I'll turn him back into Goop. And I ingest I eat it! I eat it! Huh? 1182 01:24:48,174 --> 01:24:50,108 That's it. Daddy, that'll work. 1183 01:24:50,176 --> 01:24:52,110 I wouldn't have even thought about that. 1184 01:24:52,178 --> 01:24:54,203 This is fantastic! What are you gonna eat? 1185 01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:56,680 Sherman! Damn! 1186 01:25:23,142 --> 01:25:25,542 Hello, Sherman. I heard you were here. 1187 01:25:25,611 --> 01:25:29,308 Give me a minute, Dean, and I'll be on my way. Trespass all you like. 1188 01:25:29,381 --> 01:25:33,317 It goes so well in court with grand theft. I beg your pardon. 1189 01:25:33,385 --> 01:25:36,786 You're tring to sell the youth formula under a different identity. 1190 01:25:36,856 --> 01:25:39,416 Who do you think you are? Dean, you just don't understand, really. 1191 01:25:39,492 --> 01:25:42,655 That's always possible. Then help me out if you don't mind. Explain it. 1192 01:25:42,728 --> 01:25:44,821 Why is Buddy Love meeting with Phleer? 1193 01:25:44,897 --> 01:25:48,162 Oh, my goodness. I gotta hurry up. Not so fast, pal. 1194 01:25:48,234 --> 01:25:50,759 I'm not letting you out of my sight until both our names are on that contract. 1195 01:25:50,836 --> 01:25:54,397 I'm going to be stuck on you like a giant hamster on my a- 1196 01:25:56,108 --> 01:25:59,805 Where you go, I go. I have no time to stand here and argue with you. 1197 01:25:59,879 --> 01:26:02,439 Ifyou wanna come along, I'll explain it to you on the way. 1198 01:26:02,515 --> 01:26:05,916 Ladies and gentlemen and distinguished guests, it is showtime. 1199 01:26:05,985 --> 01:26:07,919 Now I'd like to present to you exhibit "A." 1200 01:26:07,987 --> 01:26:10,114 His name is Zeke, and it is ver clear... 1201 01:26:10,189 --> 01:26:13,590 that Zeke has been getting his ass whipped by Father Time for many, many years. 1202 01:26:58,637 --> 01:27:00,628 Oh, my God, Sherman. 1203 01:27:07,379 --> 01:27:10,473 Sherman! Sherman! Sherman! 1204 01:27:10,549 --> 01:27:13,074 Hey, hey, hey, Denise. Thank God. 1205 01:27:13,152 --> 01:27:16,144 What the hell's going on? Papa Klump, have you seen Sherman? 1206 01:27:16,221 --> 01:27:18,155 He's in trouble. Oh, tell me about it. 1207 01:27:18,223 --> 01:27:21,249 First the boy acting crazy and called off the wedding. Then he talking about eating some guy. 1208 01:27:21,327 --> 01:27:24,057 I don't know if it's something I need to talk to the boy about. 1209 01:27:24,129 --> 01:27:27,155 Wait. Eating somebody? Yeah, he said he's gonna eat some man. 1210 01:27:27,232 --> 01:27:29,427 Of course. Buddy. 1211 01:27:29,501 --> 01:27:31,765 Yeah, that's the guy. What's going on between the three of y'all? 1212 01:27:31,837 --> 01:27:35,705 What's this, a kind of menage a trois? I know where Sherman is. 1213 01:27:35,808 --> 01:27:39,710 Ladies and gentlemen, if Zeke dropped dead right now, who would care? 1214 01:27:39,778 --> 01:27:42,406 I would. My point exactly. 1215 01:27:42,481 --> 01:27:45,177 Exactly. That no person, no matter who they are, 1216 01:27:45,250 --> 01:27:48,481 no matter how hopelessly disgusting their case may be, 1217 01:27:48,554 --> 01:27:50,920 should be left without a second chance. 1218 01:27:50,990 --> 01:27:54,926 And that is why I would like to introduce... New You, 1219 01:27:54,994 --> 01:27:57,019 a fully copyrighted product being offered to you... 1220 01:27:57,096 --> 01:27:58,893 by the good people of Love Enterprises. 1221 01:27:58,964 --> 01:28:01,489 Now, if you'd be so kind, Zeke, would you drink this up, please? 1222 01:28:01,567 --> 01:28:03,789 It's kind of like Mogen David, but fruitier. 1223 01:28:03,923 --> 01:28:06,483 Wait! I'm sorry to interrupt, ladies and gentlemen! 1224 01:28:06,558 --> 01:28:11,586 But I cannot go on living unless I have this man inside me right now. 1225 01:28:11,664 --> 01:28:14,098 Steady, sailor. What the hell is going on here? 1226 01:28:14,166 --> 01:28:17,260 Well, if it isn't Professor Sherman Klump, the inventor of Jumbo the Horny Hamster. 1227 01:28:17,336 --> 01:28:21,534 Please! Buddy, I am sick and I am tired... 1228 01:28:21,607 --> 01:28:24,735 of your s-h- "I. " 1229 01:28:24,810 --> 01:28:27,608 Thank you. T-E. 1230 01:28:27,680 --> 01:28:30,240 My shite? Oh, really? Well, what you gonna do about it, Shamu? 1231 01:28:30,316 --> 01:28:33,683 Tell you what I'm gonna do. I don't have no time to play no games with your ass. 1232 01:28:33,752 --> 01:28:37,085 You got time to play a little catch, don't you? Oh, you bastard. 1233 01:28:42,995 --> 01:28:45,429 Buddy. 1234 01:28:45,497 --> 01:28:49,024 Aw! 1235 01:28:49,101 --> 01:28:52,468 Buddy, Buddy. Buddy. 1236 01:28:52,538 --> 01:28:54,972 Get it, Buddy. Buddy! 1237 01:28:55,040 --> 01:28:57,975 Na, na, na, na. Hey, Buddy. Fetch. 1238 01:29:14,827 --> 01:29:17,728 Aach! 1239 01:29:17,796 --> 01:29:19,787 What the hell is that? 1240 01:29:19,865 --> 01:29:22,129 Who's dumb now? 1241 01:29:26,138 --> 01:29:28,606 Oh, Sherman. Oh, you sneaky son of a bitch. 1242 01:29:28,674 --> 01:29:31,268 Oh, Sherman! 1243 01:29:32,211 --> 01:29:34,270 Oh, no! 1244 01:29:36,181 --> 01:29:40,208 Oh, shit! Uh- ah- ah- Everbody calm down. 1245 01:29:40,285 --> 01:29:42,981 This is a part of the demonstration. Just calm- Relax. 1246 01:29:43,055 --> 01:29:45,580 Everything's undercontrol. What the hell are you looking at? 1247 01:29:45,657 --> 01:29:48,785 This is an impressive package for a toddler. All right, Mr. Toddler. 1248 01:29:48,861 --> 01:29:52,422 Nothing to see here, folks. This mutant is about to dissolve into liquid, 1249 01:29:52,498 --> 01:29:54,864 and then the fat man is going to suck him through a straw. 1250 01:29:54,933 --> 01:29:58,334 Sorry, Buddy. I just want my life back. 1251 01:29:58,404 --> 01:30:01,271 You don't owe him any explan- What? Come here. 1252 01:30:01,340 --> 01:30:04,434 Oh, you rotten son of a- Oh! 1253 01:30:04,510 --> 01:30:07,172 I'm hit! I'm hit! Forget it, fat ass. 1254 01:30:07,246 --> 01:30:11,342 I ain't going back inside of you. Mmm. Got milk? 1255 01:30:13,886 --> 01:30:16,047 Thank you, baby. 1256 01:30:18,057 --> 01:30:20,855 He's getting away. 1257 01:30:20,926 --> 01:30:26,228 Dean, I want that formula. Bring me the man who made it. I'm ready to make a deal. 1258 01:30:26,298 --> 01:30:28,232 Hmm? Right. 1259 01:30:30,302 --> 01:30:33,863 I'm naked! I'm naked! I'm naked! I'm naked! I'm naked! 1260 01:30:38,377 --> 01:30:41,972 There he is. What the hell is happening? 1261 01:30:50,422 --> 01:30:53,880 What the hell was that? Buddy. 1262 01:30:56,595 --> 01:30:58,529 All right, that's it. Slow the car down! Slow down! 1263 01:30:58,597 --> 01:31:00,531 We can't help Sherman wrapped around no light pole. 1264 01:31:00,599 --> 01:31:03,090 We've got to get to him. He and Buddy have to be combined immediately. 1265 01:31:05,904 --> 01:31:08,338 Where's the little snot now? 1266 01:31:08,407 --> 01:31:11,103 What the hell are you looking at? Come on. 1267 01:31:11,176 --> 01:31:13,406 What? What? 1268 01:31:15,280 --> 01:31:17,578 Don't feel right. Starting to feel a little light-headed. 1269 01:31:17,649 --> 01:31:20,948 If you quit now, you're gonna be empty-headed. Come on, Klump. Let's get him. 1270 01:31:21,019 --> 01:31:24,011 Get a hold of this, chubby. 1271 01:31:30,295 --> 01:31:32,957 Whoo! You got a big ass! 1272 01:31:35,367 --> 01:31:38,700 What? Follow that ass. 1273 01:31:41,073 --> 01:31:43,200 Aw, hell. Now, what's all of this? 1274 01:31:43,275 --> 01:31:45,800 Move out the way, damn it! Wait a minute. I think I see him. 1275 01:31:51,450 --> 01:31:54,044 Goddamn. 1276 01:31:55,621 --> 01:31:58,089 Oh, no. Don't even think about it. Don't you do it. 1277 01:31:58,157 --> 01:32:00,216 Oh, you're doing it. 1278 01:32:03,962 --> 01:32:06,795 Ow! Stop! 1279 01:32:14,406 --> 01:32:16,897 All right, tubby. 1280 01:32:16,975 --> 01:32:21,469 Let's see how long you last without me. 1281 01:32:27,352 --> 01:32:30,412 What? What? That's it? 1282 01:32:30,489 --> 01:32:33,458 He's gone? Ah, I-I- da-da- 1283 01:32:33,525 --> 01:32:36,494 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh, that's marvelous. 1284 01:32:41,066 --> 01:32:44,263 The deal is dead, you know that? 1285 01:32:44,336 --> 01:32:47,499 I've been calling you a moron for years. Now you're finally- 1286 01:32:52,444 --> 01:32:55,436 I'll just get a cab. 1287 01:33:05,976 --> 01:33:10,072 Ohhh, Sherman! I raised a genius. 1288 01:33:10,147 --> 01:33:12,479 No one isperfect. - I want to beperfect forher. - Perfect? 1289 01:33:12,549 --> 01:33:15,643 About time you told Denise? - I checked the file. - There's no future. 1290 01:33:15,719 --> 01:33:20,122 You will never learn to control him till you accept the fact he is apart of you. 1291 01:33:33,604 --> 01:33:36,266 Sherman. 1292 01:33:37,408 --> 01:33:39,137 You okay? 1293 01:33:45,916 --> 01:33:50,512 Gone he's all gone. Buddy? He evaporated? 1294 01:33:50,587 --> 01:33:54,353 Gone. And me no smart. Never. No more. 1295 01:33:54,425 --> 01:33:57,360 Sherman, that's okay. I mean, we'll figure something out. 1296 01:33:57,428 --> 01:34:00,192 There has to be something that we can do. 1297 01:34:00,264 --> 01:34:02,698 I want to say I'm- I'm sorry. 1298 01:34:04,268 --> 01:34:07,965 I never I didn't want to hurt you. You understand? 1299 01:34:08,038 --> 01:34:12,236 I thought that if you knew that Buddy was a part of me, 1300 01:34:12,309 --> 01:34:14,800 I thought that you wouldn't have me then. 1301 01:34:14,878 --> 01:34:17,142 Sherman. Now, hear me. 1302 01:34:17,214 --> 01:34:19,148 Hear me out now. 1303 01:34:20,717 --> 01:34:23,083 I should've had more faith in you. 1304 01:34:24,488 --> 01:34:26,513 Should've had more faith in myself. 1305 01:34:26,590 --> 01:34:29,218 But I- Sherman. 1306 01:34:29,293 --> 01:34:33,320 Sherman, what's wrong? Sherman? 1307 01:34:33,397 --> 01:34:35,865 Can't you hear, son? Sherman, look at me. 1308 01:34:35,933 --> 01:34:38,265 Who am I? 1309 01:34:44,708 --> 01:34:47,268 Pretty lady. Oh, honey. 1310 01:34:47,344 --> 01:34:49,278 Oh, that's nice. 1311 01:34:49,346 --> 01:34:54,010 It's gonna be okay. Nice. 1312 01:34:54,084 --> 01:34:56,075 I'll take care of you. 1313 01:34:56,153 --> 01:34:58,747 Oh! Come on. Let's get the boy home. 1314 01:34:59,990 --> 01:35:01,924 Nice lady. 1315 01:35:09,133 --> 01:35:11,931 Come on. Let'sget him home. Come on. 1316 01:35:12,002 --> 01:35:13,469 Go home now. 1317 01:35:13,537 --> 01:35:15,471 Thank you. 1318 01:35:21,044 --> 01:35:24,036 Oh, look at the- the pretty water. 1319 01:35:27,050 --> 01:35:29,450 Oh, my God. It's Buddy. 1320 01:35:29,520 --> 01:35:32,921 His DNA burst into water molecules. Sherman, quick. What the hell? 1321 01:35:32,990 --> 01:35:35,083 Drink this. No. Dirty water. 1322 01:35:35,159 --> 01:35:38,151 No. Come on, honey. You have to drink this. Please. 1323 01:35:39,563 --> 01:35:42,293 Drink dirty water. Look at me. What's my name? 1324 01:35:45,235 --> 01:35:48,830 Denise. You're Denise. Oh, yes. Drink some more. 1325 01:35:48,906 --> 01:35:50,737 Denise. Come on. Drink some more. 1326 01:35:50,807 --> 01:35:54,072 What's two times two? Two times two is four. 1327 01:35:54,144 --> 01:35:57,238 Four times four? Four times four is fiif sixteen. 1328 01:35:57,314 --> 01:36:00,249 Sherman, yes. Drink some more before Buddy disperses. 1329 01:36:00,317 --> 01:36:03,309 Come on, boy. 1330 01:36:04,688 --> 01:36:06,849 What's your mama middle name? 1331 01:36:06,924 --> 01:36:10,018 Oh, hell, no. That ain't it. 1332 01:36:10,093 --> 01:36:12,618 Get a lot now. Get a lot. 1333 01:36:12,696 --> 01:36:13,958 That's enough. 1334 01:36:14,031 --> 01:36:17,125 Pearl. He said Pearl! He said Pearl! 1335 01:36:17,201 --> 01:36:20,034 Anna Pearl. Sherman, what's the square root of 2,000,602? 1336 01:36:20,103 --> 01:36:23,368 That's a hard one. Four thousand, 1337 01:36:23,440 --> 01:36:26,500 414.426... 1338 01:36:26,577 --> 01:36:29,512 3855. Oh, yes! 1339 01:36:31,515 --> 01:36:33,813 Oh, Sherman, yes! 1340 01:36:55,038 --> 01:36:58,701 Oh, fabulous! Oh! 1341 01:36:58,775 --> 01:37:02,006 Dynamite! Dynamite! That's so lovely. 1342 01:37:02,079 --> 01:37:07,574 This go out to the new Mr. and Ms. Sherman Klump. 1343 01:37:07,651 --> 01:37:10,119 Hear! Hear! Come on, ya'll. Take it down. 1344 01:37:10,187 --> 01:37:13,020 A one 1345 01:37:13,090 --> 01:37:17,151 In a million 1346 01:37:17,227 --> 01:37:20,219 Chance 1347 01:37:20,297 --> 01:37:23,755 Of a lifetime That sounds good. 1348 01:37:23,834 --> 01:37:25,267 And I 1349 01:37:25,335 --> 01:37:28,771 Whoo! Ernie, this mine. This mine, Ernie. 1350 01:37:30,440 --> 01:37:32,772 Yes, indeed. You surely are one in a million. 1351 01:37:32,843 --> 01:37:36,540 And I am finally in charge, all right? All the way in charge. 1352 01:37:36,613 --> 01:37:39,912 Sherman Klump in charge. 1353 01:37:39,983 --> 01:37:43,714 You know I saved Sherman's life. Clesius Klump, stop all that bragging. 1354 01:37:43,787 --> 01:37:47,723 Come on. Dance with me. Excuse us. I'll get right back at ya. 1355 01:37:47,791 --> 01:37:50,521 Okay, you guys, you ready? 1356 01:37:57,934 --> 01:38:00,596 You know what this means, don't you? 1357 01:38:00,671 --> 01:38:03,902 Piece of happiness to call my own. 1358 01:38:05,575 --> 01:38:10,239 And life's worth living again 1359 01:38:10,314 --> 01:38:14,375 Anna Pearl, you are looking foxy fii ne tonight. Oh! 1360 01:38:15,852 --> 01:38:18,412 Yeah, you got me feeling like I'm 20 years old again. 1361 01:38:18,488 --> 01:38:21,048 Oh, Cle- Ooh! 1362 01:38:21,124 --> 01:38:23,285 Ooh, Clesius, is that your- 1363 01:38:23,360 --> 01:38:25,590 Mm-hmm. You damn right. 1364 01:38:25,662 --> 01:38:30,463 Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules! 1365 01:38:32,869 --> 01:38:34,996 One in a million 1366 01:38:35,072 --> 01:38:37,666 Million Make that a billion 1367 01:38:37,741 --> 01:38:40,904 No, a trillion Oh, a zillion 1368 01:38:40,977 --> 01:38:44,980 You, you 1369 01:38:45,048 --> 01:38:46,310 Oh 1370 01:38:46,383 --> 01:38:49,682 Oh, Lord, Lord 1371 01:38:49,753 --> 01:38:53,519 You, you, you 1372 01:38:56,493 --> 01:38:58,757 I love you, Joe College! 1373 01:39:06,436 --> 01:39:10,031 Hey, hey hey, hey, hey 1374 01:39:10,107 --> 01:39:14,100 Macho, macho man Macho man, yeah 1375 01:39:14,177 --> 01:39:17,340 I've got to be a macho man 1376 01:39:17,414 --> 01:39:21,009 Macho, macho man, yeah 1377 01:39:21,084 --> 01:39:23,712 Klump? 1378 01:39:23,787 --> 01:39:27,279 Aw, shit. The prop's falling apart. 1379 01:39:27,357 --> 01:39:29,757 You get the heart pumping with the red wine. 1380 01:39:29,826 --> 01:39:31,760 The better the circulation. 1381 01:39:31,828 --> 01:39:36,060 Pumping heart, red wine. One and one is two. Powerful erection. 1382 01:39:36,133 --> 01:39:38,067 Powerful erection! 1383 01:39:38,135 --> 01:39:40,069 Oh! 1384 01:39:40,137 --> 01:39:42,071 Clesius! 1385 01:39:47,644 --> 01:39:49,578 You bitches done ruined everthing. 1386 01:39:49,646 --> 01:39:52,046 I just told you, bitch! I'm gonna kick your ass now! 1387 01:39:52,115 --> 01:39:54,515 I'm logging you too. 1388 01:40:00,090 --> 01:40:03,548 What have I done? What have I done? What have I done, O Lord? 1389 01:40:07,097 --> 01:40:09,930 Hurry, Clesius. Hurry. Hurry, Clesius. 1390 01:40:10,000 --> 01:40:12,935 Oh, Clesius. Lord, hurry. 1391 01:40:13,003 --> 01:40:16,734 Clesius, my "ariolas" is gonna pop. 1392 01:40:16,807 --> 01:40:19,435 See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. 1393 01:40:30,854 --> 01:40:35,018 Oh, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day 1394 01:40:35,091 --> 01:40:36,817 Oh, happy day Happy day 1395 01:40:38,452 --> 01:40:41,615 Doesn't matter what your friends are telling you 1396 01:40:41,689 --> 01:40:44,021 Doesn't matter what my family's saying too 1397 01:40:44,091 --> 01:40:46,355 It just matters that I'm in love with you 1398 01:40:46,427 --> 01:40:48,861 It only matters that you love me too 1399 01:40:48,929 --> 01:40:51,193 It doesn't matter if they won't accept you 1400 01:40:51,265 --> 01:40:53,756 I'm accepting of you and the things you do 1401 01:40:53,834 --> 01:40:56,132 Just as long as it's you 1402 01:40:56,203 --> 01:40:59,502 Nobody but you baby, baby 1403 01:40:59,573 --> 01:41:01,871 My love for you 1404 01:41:01,942 --> 01:41:04,137 Unconditional love too 1405 01:41:04,211 --> 01:41:09,012 Gotta get up, get up get up, get up, get up and show you that it 1406 01:41:09,083 --> 01:41:11,244 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1407 01:41:11,318 --> 01:41:13,684 'Cause I'm in love with the inner being 1408 01:41:13,754 --> 01:41:16,222 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1409 01:41:16,290 --> 01:41:18,724 What matters to me is that you're in love with me 1410 01:41:18,792 --> 01:41:20,919 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1411 01:41:20,995 --> 01:41:23,327 'Cause I'm love with the inner being 1412 01:41:23,397 --> 01:41:25,888 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1413 01:41:25,966 --> 01:41:28,594 What matters to me is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 1414 01:41:28,669 --> 01:41:30,603 You're so kind 1415 01:41:30,671 --> 01:41:33,231 Just what I asked for You're so loving and kind 1416 01:41:33,307 --> 01:41:35,241 And you're mine 1417 01:41:35,309 --> 01:41:39,837 And I can't believe you're mine 1418 01:41:39,913 --> 01:41:43,246 Doesn't matter if you're feeling insecure 1419 01:41:43,317 --> 01:41:45,615 Doesn't matter if you're feeling so unsure 1420 01:41:45,686 --> 01:41:47,916 'Cause I'll take away the doubt with in your heart 1421 01:41:47,988 --> 01:41:50,513 And show that my love will never hurt or harm 1422 01:41:50,591 --> 01:41:52,889 Doesn't matter what the pain we go through 1423 01:41:52,960 --> 01:41:55,258 Doesn't matter if the money's gone too 1424 01:41:55,329 --> 01:41:57,854 Just as long as l'm with you 1425 01:41:57,931 --> 01:42:01,230 Nobody but you baby, baby 1426 01:42:01,301 --> 01:42:03,701 Your love for me 1427 01:42:03,771 --> 01:42:05,739 Unconditional I see 1428 01:42:05,806 --> 01:42:10,800 Gotta get up, get up get up, get up, get up and show you that it 1429 01:42:27,828 --> 01:42:29,921 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1430 01:42:29,997 --> 01:42:32,329 'Cause I'm in love with the inner being 1431 01:42:32,399 --> 01:42:34,799 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1432 01:42:34,868 --> 01:42:37,302 What matters to me is you're in love with me 1433 01:42:37,371 --> 01:42:39,635 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1434 01:42:39,706 --> 01:42:41,936 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing 1435 01:42:42,009 --> 01:42:44,500 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1436 01:42:44,578 --> 01:42:47,172 What matters to me is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 1437 01:42:47,247 --> 01:42:49,306 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1438 01:42:49,383 --> 01:42:51,613 'Cause I'm in love with the innerbeing 1439 01:42:51,685 --> 01:42:54,017 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1440 01:42:54,088 --> 01:42:56,886 What matters to me is you're in love with me 1441 01:42:56,957 --> 01:42:58,925 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1442 01:42:58,992 --> 01:43:01,460 'Cause I'm in love with the inner being 1443 01:43:01,528 --> 01:43:03,758 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1444 01:43:03,831 --> 01:43:06,561 What matters to me is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 1445 01:43:06,633 --> 01:43:08,533 You're so kind 1446 01:43:08,602 --> 01:43:11,503 Oh, just what I asked for You're so loving and kind 1447 01:43:11,572 --> 01:43:13,369 And you're mine 1448 01:43:13,440 --> 01:43:17,809 And I can't believe you're mine 1449 01:43:17,878 --> 01:43:22,440 Doesn't matter what they say 1450 01:43:22,516 --> 01:43:27,579 Because you know I'm gonna love you anyway 1451 01:43:27,654 --> 01:43:32,353 Doesn't matter what they do 1452 01:43:32,426 --> 01:43:39,423 'Cause my love will always be with you 1453 01:43:39,500 --> 01:43:41,627 My love for you 1454 01:43:41,702 --> 01:43:43,693 Unconditional love too 1455 01:43:43,770 --> 01:43:46,238 Gotta get up, get up get up, get up, get up 1456 01:43:46,306 --> 01:43:50,572 And show you that my love is true 1457 01:43:50,644 --> 01:43:55,411 And it's just for you 1458 01:43:55,482 --> 01:43:57,712 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1459 01:43:57,784 --> 01:44:00,082 'Cause I'm in love with the inner being 1460 01:44:00,154 --> 01:44:02,520 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1461 01:44:02,589 --> 01:44:04,955 What matters to me is you're in love with me 1462 01:44:05,025 --> 01:44:07,323 Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing 1463 01:44:07,394 --> 01:44:09,760 'Cause I'm in love with the inner being 1464 01:44:09,830 --> 01:44:12,025 No, it doesn't really matter what they believe 1465 01:44:12,099 --> 01:44:14,932 What matters to me is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 1466 01:44:15,002 --> 01:44:16,936 Nutty, nutty, nutty my love for you 1467 01:44:17,004 --> 01:44:19,438 I can't believe my dreams come true 1468 01:44:19,506 --> 01:44:21,770 I've finally found some body whose heart is true 1469 01:44:21,842 --> 01:44:24,402 And best of all you love me too 1470 01:44:24,478 --> 01:44:26,673 And nutty, nutty, nutty my love for you 1471 01:44:26,747 --> 01:44:29,113 I can't believe my dreams come true 1472 01:44:29,183 --> 01:44:31,481 I've finally found somebody whose heart is true 1473 01:44:31,552 --> 01:44:34,214 And best of all is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me Sing 1474 01:44:34,288 --> 01:44:35,949 Whoa, whoa 1475 01:44:36,023 --> 01:44:38,514 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 1476 01:44:38,592 --> 01:44:43,859 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 1477 01:44:43,931 --> 01:44:45,990 Nutty, nutty, nutty my love for you 1478 01:44:46,066 --> 01:44:49,399 I can't believe my dreams come true 1479 01:44:49,469 --> 01:44:50,834 I've finally found someone whose heart is true 1480 01:44:50,904 --> 01:44:53,634 And best of all isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 1481 01:44:53,707 --> 01:44:55,971 Nutty, nutty, nutty my love for you I'm always doing that. 1482 01:44:56,043 --> 01:44:58,102 I can't believe my dreams come true 1483 01:44:58,178 --> 01:45:00,442 I've finally found somebody whose heart is true 1484 01:45:00,514 --> 01:45:03,847 And best of all is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me 126756

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.