All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s07e18 The Laser-inth.eng

? ?

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

Happy birthday.

- It's your special birthday breakfast.
- Oatmeal?

- That's a muffin.
- Oh.

Didn't bake all the way through.

Still good, though. It's made with love.

- And no flour, by accident.
- Mm.

Mom's not a baker, Dad.

She's a modern-day woman.

Yeah, don't expect things to be

baked all the time, you sexist pig!

Well, happy birthday to me.

So, you want to do anything
special for your big day?

Well, we don't have
to do anything special.

I'm happy just having my muffin soup

and reading the newspaper.

Can't we have one place in this house

that's safe from reading?!

- Oh, my God.
- What? What is it?

The planetarium is having

its last ever rock and roll laser show.

And it's happening tonight.

Guys, it's Dad's birthday,

so let's pretend we all
know what he's talking about.

A laser light show, Tina,

is when they take a
classic rock and roll album

and bring it to life with lasers.

And they're doing the best one:
General Inzanity by Zentipede.

I went to that a couple times as a kid.

I was a little bit into it.

- Yeah!
- (rock music playing loudly)

This is amazing!

I can't believe this is the last one.

- Why are they ending it?
- I don't know.

I mean, the music's kind of old.

And the lasers are kind of old.

The people who like it
are mostly kind of...

- Old?
- I was gonna say cool.

Hey, maybe we could go
to this, for my birthday.

Yeah. Great idea.

Right, kids?

- Sure. Sure.
- Sure. Yes?

Sounds like you guys aren't interested.

- No.
- What?

I am. Going out, watching lasers.

It's what I always imagined
Future Gene would be into.

Hey, you two can go together.

Yes, this one has Dad and
Gene written all over it.

That would be fun. Gene?

Let's do it.

And while the boys are away,

maybe us girls can have
dinner with Gretchen.

She's been bugging me to hang out.

Sure. I like Gretchen.
She's your friend who swears.

She's a cool sassy "B" who
don't take "S" from anyone.

Oh, my God. This muffin
is... That's really bad.

I wasn't awake yet! I hadn't had coffee!

Zentipede laser light show.

I can't believe it.

Gene, it's gonna be so much fun.

You keep saying "Zentipede"
like it's a real thing.

Zentipede is the band.

I brought their General
Inzanity album on CD.

I-I could play it for you.

- Sure.
- Or wait, wait, wait.

Maybe you shouldn't
know too much going in.

I-I think it'll be better that way.

- Like the Iraq war.
- Sort of.

Gretchen works at the mall
now? I thought she did hair.

She does. She's working at
some salon called Special Girl.

Uh, I don't think this is a salon.

(gasps) So many dollies!

This is intense.

Are there enough girly
girls in the world

to support a place like this?

(Tina groans)

Tina, what's wrong, sweetie?

I think they're creepy. I mean...

(whispers): I think they're creepy.

I think they're sweet.

Ooh! Look at that one.

What pretty eyes. Like Donna Mills.

(groans) I don't really like her eyes.

(growling): Do you like my eyes?

- (screams) Louise!
- She doesn't like my eyes!

- Stop it.
- I know that's you.

Hey, look, there's Gretchen.

What do you know, she is doing hair.

- Hey, Gretch.
- Hey, Linda.

Excuse me a second.

I'm supposed to talk to
them like they're real

or my manager gets in my face.

You want a magazine or something?

Okay, whatever.

This place is a scream. I love it.

Gretchen, do you miss working
with, like, real live people?

Ah, screw live people.

Most of 'em tip worse than the dolls.

(laughs)

You get it. Anyway,

I thought we could use
my employee discount

in the Special Girl restaurant.

(gasps) There's a restaurant here, too?

The next time I complain

that our restaurant is
sad, remind me about this.

Let me just finish giving
this little lady a blowout.

She's going to an incredibly
important sleepover

this weekend. Right?

Mm-hmm. Huge.

All right. Settle down.

BOB: There she is, Gene.

The planetarium.

So this place was your only friend, huh?

Basically. Hmm.

Looks like they're renovating it.

What's that smell?

It's like a skunk is smoking.

That's, uh, probably what it is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Big man.

Sold out show. You got tix?

Not anymore. I use a spray
and a medicated collar

and I stay out of tall grass.

Uh, Gene, he's selling
tickets. He's a scalper.

Uh, w-we're good, thanks.

I've also got, uh, tube socks.

And, uh, slap bracelets? Ouch.

Uh, we're, uh... No, thanks.

Come on, Gene, let's go.

Or you can wear 'em as a choker.

Ouch. You're really hurting yourself.

Uh, we're gonna pass. Thanks.

Any bags?

Just this old bag.

(chuckles) Gene.

No ins and outs. No
exceptions. Understand?

Got it. Come on,
buddy. We're doing this.

- (whoops)
- I've got the need

for Zentipede!

(gasps) It's adorable!

Oh, my God.

Yep, and they serve alcohol.

I know you were wondering, Linda.

- Yeah. Yeah, I was.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

(chuckles) Yeah. Welcome.

Did you bring dolls this evening,

or will you be needing
one of our dinner dolls?

- What are dinner dolls?
- You need a doll to eat here.

Like some restaurants
say "Jacket required"

or "Ma'am, that bathing
suit needs a bottom."

Oh, so we get to eat
with our very own dolly.

(groans)

Seriously? Is this a joke?

Not at all. But you know
who likes funny jokes?

Jillian! Her daddy's
a circus clown in 1903,

- and she wants to be just like him.
- Get it out of my face.

- Yeah, no clowns.
- Okay. How about you?

- (screams)
- Okay.

Yeah, all the dolls come
with a story like that.

Come on, just pick one. I'm starving.

Can I get some bread sticks?

Is that going back to the kitchen?

Aren't these seats great?

Wine me, dine me and recline me.

(electronic music begins playing)

Gene, here we go.

GENE: Fog machines? This is promising!

See you on the other side, buddy.

(whoops)

Zentipede!

(rock music playing loudly)

Ow! That's loud!

What'd you say?

Uh, uh...

Oh... boy.

Oh, God. (groaning)

Here it comes, man. Here it comes.

Here what comes, lollipop hippie?!

(wild screaming, rock
music continues loudly)

(screaming)

Gene, are you okay?

I want to go! I want to go right now!

A-Are you sure? Because the...

(screaming)

Oh, you seem sure.

Don't make me go back in
there! (hyperventilating)

Gene, it's okay. It's okay.

Take a breath.

- Not that fast.
- (groans loudly)

Look, look, look, Gene, Gene.

Do you want to go back in
or do you want to go home?

Home! I mean, maybe.

Uh, it's your birthday, so...

Don't-don't worry about that.

I-I won't enjoy the show
if you're not enjoying it.

Okay, let's go home.

Or we could go back in

and I could help you get through it,

- 'cause it's just the beginning and...
- (screams)

All right, all right.
Right, right. W-We'll go.

- We'll go. We'll go home.
- Good plan.

I know it's your birthday,
but you didn't tell me

that was going to be the
loudest, scariest thing ever.

I'm sorry, Gene. Now that I think of it,

I was, like, 16 when I went.

11 is probably pretty young.

This is like when you let me
watch Beaches all over again.

Right.

And Terms of Endearment,

and then Kramer vs. Kramer.

What the hell?!

- I was on a kick.
- Ah!

L-Let's just go home.

I mean, the music was
pretty great, right?

How could you tell? It was so loud.

Well, if you want, I could
play you a song or two

at normal volume, and we
could listen while we drive.

Okay.

(rock music playing over stereo)

ROBOT: Attention, humans of America.

I am General Inzanity,
and I have seized control.

Control. Control!

Who's General Inzanity?

Oh, he's an evil robot army general

who takes control of the
government in the year 2007,

which used to be a
long time in the future.

An evil robot army general, you say?

Yeah. The songs tell a
story. It's a rock opera.

Well, they called it a "rock-sperience,"

- which is dumber.
- Beg to differ.

So, General Inzanity starts
cracking down on rockers

who are just trying to have a good time.

But there's one rocker

who fights back. He's a rebel.

His name is "The Rebel."

As a teenager, I kind of related to him.

- Of course.
- Yeah.

Anyway, The Rebel writes
a song that inspires people

to rise up against General Inzanity.

It's called "Let My
People Rock. Part One."

L-Let me skip to that one.

? We don't need no bots ?

? We don't need no bots ?

? Let my people rock ?

? Let my people rock ?

- ? We are not machines ?
- (Bob mouthing along)

? We like to wear tight jeans... ?

Catchy.

So, then what happens?

BOB: Well, hold on. Let's do this right.

Nice.

All right, imagine this
is really cool lasers.

- Okay.
- So, General Inzanity arrests the hero

and sentences him to hard
labor in a rock quarry.

- Could happen.
- BOB: And all day,

the hero pushes these
boulders up a mountain

to build General
Inzanity a new evil lair.

GENE: Mm.

BOB: And then these
rebel fighters show up,

and they try to help the hero escape,

but instead, they get trapped

on top of the mountain,
surrounded by the robot army.

And that's when The Rebel gets the idea

to roll the boulders down on the robots.

You mean he rolls rocks...

To save rock and roll.

Oh, my God.

(chuckles) The plot is not subtle.

I like it.

Oh, I haven't even told
you about the best part:

the climax of the whole thing.

It's, actually, it's-it's
hard to describe.

I mean, I don't want to oversell it,

but it changes you forever.

I want to see it. Did we miss it?

Did we miss the climax?

Really? You want to go back?

Yes? Kind of?

I mean, maybe it's worth going deaf

and peeing in my pants a little.

Also, it's your birthday.

Wait, Gene, don't go back for me.

I'm not doing this for you.

I'm doing this for me. And you.

Now come on.

Hello, ladies.

My name's Andrew. I'll be your server.

Let's get you started with
those cinnamon buns you ordered.

Cinnamon buns? We didn't order these.

You didn't order them, huh? Uh-oh.

It must've been one of the dolls.

- Oh.
- My guess is Becky,

because her favorite
food is cinnamon buns.

Says so on her info card.

Well, that's Becky for you.

(laughs) You bring the cinnamon buns

and say a doll ordered 'em. I love it.

(mouth full): This better
not show up on the check.

- I know the tricks.
- They're complimentary.

Well, they should be free.

- Um, waiter?
- Yes.

If my doll orders
anything, could you warn me?

- Sure thing.
- And is she looking at me?

- Now? No.
- Oh, good, good, good.

- But now she is.
- (screams)

Okay, I'll give you
ladies and your dolls

a moment to look at the menu.

FYI, the dinner dolls must
stay in the restaurant area.

They're not store dolls,
they're dinner dolls.

They've accepted it. So should you.

So, let's see. Let's read about Becky.

Let's get to know her.

It says here Becky is the daughter

of a rich merchant in the 1890s.

Whenever that was.

Okay, I'll play. My
doll's name is Suzie.

She was the first girl
to wear glasses in public.

Which is pretty cool.

My doll keeps pulling her
dress over her head. Stop it!

How about yours, Tina?

Yeah, tell us about Little Winky.

- What's her deal?
- Ugh. Her name is Francine.

She's a ballerina.

(chuckles): Ballerina? Whoa.

How do they come up with this stuff?

"Francine joined an
American ballet troupe

"that toured the world at
the beginning of the Cold War.

"While in Europe, she was recruited

to spy on the Russians."

Ooh!

What a weird, serious little doll.

She's a spy?

Okay, her I like.

Really? Then maybe she could sit
with you and Suzie. (chuckles)

(whispers): Help me.

- Uh, okay. Sure.
- Thanks. Thanks.

Gretchen, your doll's on the floor, hon.

Oh, look at you. You're all dirty!

What are you doing down there?

No ins and outs!

- Can we buy new tickets?
- Sold out!

We could be seat fillers

when the celebrities in the
audience go to the bathroom.

- No.
- Aah! You're impossible!

Gene, look. It's the scalper.

Uh, pardon me. Hey.

Wait. What are you mad about?

Tickets, socks or marijuana?

No. No. What? I-I wanted to see
if you have any more tickets for sale.

Is obstructed view okay?

- Sure.
- Then you can try watching from here.

(wheezing laugh) Sorry.

Huh. That's a scalper joke.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, man. I'm out of tickets.

Crap!

All right, well, we
gave it a shot, Gene.

I-I guess it wasn't meant to happen.

I mean, uh, there is a way to sneak in,

but it's not for beginners
who don't buy slap bracelets.

Please! It's his birthday!

- He's not gonna have that many more.
- Gene.

(sighs) All right.

It's risky, but if you give me $20,

we'll get you into the laser show.

Okay, but how? We-we want to get in

before the big finish,
and that's any minute.

All will be revealed
when you give me... $25.

Wait. You just said $20.

Throw in your slappiest slap bracelet,

and you've got a deal!

Okay, here's 25 bucks.
So, uh, what do we do?

Well, first, allow me. Bam!

- Ow.
- Slappy birthday, Dad.

On this paper, you'll
find a phone number.

It's the direct line to
the concession stand inside.

Call it, and when the guy picks
up, give him the pass phrase.

What's the pass phrase?

The pass phrase is...

(whispering, rattled coughing)

Oh, God.

Word to the wise: two guys
work at the concession stand.

One is cool, the other is not.

Okay. Um, what are their names?

- They're both named Nick.
- Oh. Nice.

If the uncool Nick
answers, hang up right away.

How are we supposed to know
which Nick we're talking to?

You'll know the cool Nick,

'cause, you know, he sounds cool.

Okay.

- Another word to the wise.
- Mm.

The uncool Nick knows we do this,

so sometimes he tries to sound cool,

and he's very good.

It's almost impossible
to tell the difference.

Oh, my God.

I guess we'll feel it out. Thank you.

If you get caught, you
do not know me. I'm out!

Look at him go! His
ponytail's like a propeller!

He's gonna take off!

Miss, we have your chicken fingers,

and for your dolls, our best

plastic spaghetti.

That's why I love this gal.

She's watching the Russians,

but she's not watching her carbs.

Well, Francine's getting discontinued,

so now's the time to live it up.

Wait, what? What did he
mean, uh, "discontinued"?

Mm, sometimes they stop
making a certain doll,

so they get rid of the whole stock.

Usually, they donate 'em to poor kids.

- Huh, that's nice.
- But that's just the new dolls.

For these dinner dolls, it's different.

They get dinged up, so
discontinued dinner dolls

get put in a sort of...

- It's a sort of like a...
- W-What?

I guess you'd call it like a...
a chipper-shredder for dolls.

(gasps) What?!

Yeah, it turns 'em into
this shredded stuff.

They use it in the mat
material over in the play area.

Sometimes an eye doesn't get shredded,

and it looks like a kid is
down there staring at you!

(laughing)

(Gretchen clears throat)

It's pretty messed up
when you think about it.

Just sipping my wine.

- (line ringing)
- GENE: You got this, Dad.

Remember, hang up if
the uncool Nick answers.

MAN: Hello?

Uh, h-hello. Is this
the concession stand?

- Yeah.
- Uh, can you, um...

tell me about, uh, some of
the concessions you have?

- We have sweet snacks.
- Mm.

- Salty snacks.
- Nice.

Some snacks that kind
of straddle the line.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (quietly): Cool Nick or Uncool Nick?

- (whispers): I can't tell.
- Let me.

Congratulations. You've
been selected for a survey.

Do you ever say things
like, "Boy, I sure am cool

- compared to my coworker Nick"?
- I'm Nick.

No, I know, but which one?!

- Gene, give me the phone.
- Ah!

Hi. Uh, it's me again.

Uh, what would you do if I told you,

"The moons of Uranus are on fire"?

Oh, did the scalper guy say

there's a cool Nick
and a not-cool Nick,

and you have to know the
pass phrase or something?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Sorry, I forgot.

Sometimes I pretend to be
two different guys named Nick

just to mess with him.
It's really boring here.

- Anyway, you want to get in?
- Yes, please.

All right, meet me around
back in three minutes.

- Bring 20 bucks.
- I already paid the scalper.

Well, I'm not the scalper, am I?

I'm two guys named Nick.

- Fine.
- Around back. Three minutes.

If you're not there, I'm not waiting.

All right, first of all,
there's only one Nick.

- What?!
- I know. I can't explain right now.

We have to meet him around
back in three minutes.

Around back in three minutes?

Oh. Yeah. That's far.

Dad, I... think we're gonna have to run.

- No, Gene.
- I just don't see any other way.

But I can't.

- I think we're gonna have to.
- (sighs) Okay.

So, walk first and build up speed,

or just start running?

- J-Just start, I think! Just start!
- Oh, God.

Watch! This is what I think it is!

(Gene murmuring gibberish)

LOUISE: I mean, I know
she's just a frickin' doll,

but she's the only cool one they have.

And they want to toss
her into a doll shredder?

Sorry, Louise.

Yeah, I shouldn't have said anything.

Well, maybe we can buy Francine
and give her a new home with us.

No! I mean, okay, I'm fine with it.

Oh, I don't think they'll sell...

Uh, excuse me, waiter?

Everyone good? How are
the cinnamon buns sitting

with those chicken fingers?

Not great. Listen,
how much would it cost

to buy one of the dolls?
Say, this doll right here?

- Oh, one of the dinner dolls?
- Yeah.

- Those aren't for sale.
- Why not?

Well, the Special Girl Corporation

wouldn't sell a dirty old dinner doll.

- What?!
- Ouch.

Oh, excuse me. There's a doll over there

who's trying to get my attention.

Ugh!

New plan, everybody.

We grab Francine and
make a break for it.

They can't take us down, not all of us.

Nuh-uh. No. I can't lose this job.

I still have payments

on that Jet Ski I
crashed seven years ago.

But maybe I can still help you out.

- That doll... she's a spy, right?
- Yeah.

Then she must be pretty
good with disguises, huh?

Huh.

(panting) Oh, God.

Everything hurts.

Just imagine yourself
inside the planetarium,

having an amazing climax.

Gene, that's... Never mind.

That must be the door. Did we make it?

Maybe we're early. Are we in shape now?

- Should we wear tank tops?
- Maybe.

- What is that?
- It's Pluto,

the disgraced ex-planet.

- Oh. I guess they're throwing it away.
- In my class, we pulled all the Pluto�s

off our solar system models,

and then stomped them into the ground.

It's him!

- Come on, let's go!
- No, Dad! Wait!

Oh, my God, we've got
to get to that door.

Planetariums are so stressful.

Why didn't you warn us,
Neil deGrasse Tyson?!

Hello? Anybody there?

Nick's not gonna wait.

But if we go, the security guard
will see us. We won't get in.

Closing the door.

Closing it slowly.

No. Let my people rock. Part one.

- (grunting)
- What are you doing?

Dad, help.

What the hell?

It's heading for the
employee parking lot.

This is why everyone hates you, Pluto!

- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Hold the door!

- We're here!
- Oh. Hey.

Gene, that was amazing!

You rolled a rock to save rock and roll.

And now, to celebrate,
you can give me $20.

Oh, right. Here.

We got to hurry, Gene.
Let's get to our seats.

Thanks, Nick. Cool Nick.

I'm gonna miss you guys.

It sounds like they're at the
part right before the climax.

- Uh-huh.
- You okay?

Uh-huh. I think so?

Gene, you can do this, and
it'll be worth it, I hope.

- Zentipede?
- Zentipede!

- Wait.
- (rock music playing)

Uh, can I borrow a napkin? Thanks.

I can make you ear plugs with this.

(groaning)

Gross. And thank you.

(rock music continues)

What we got to do is make
this doll look like a doll

that isn't getting discontinued,

so we got to sneak her
to my salon station.

But the waiter said

dinner dolls weren't allowed
outside the restaurant.

Yeah, and he's been hovering.

Don't worry. I'll deal with him.

Oh, waiter?

Well, what can I do for you
at this late stage in your meal

when most people are done
asking things from the waiter?

Can you pretty please
box this up for us?

That's the doll's food.
That stays in the restaurant.

But could you pretend to box it up

and bring it out and
say, "Here's your boxes"?

Uh, yes, ma'am, I can do that.

All right. Go! Go!

Get a Sabrina doll from
the shelves up front.

Okay.

Then go to accessories
and get a Sabrina dress,

a Sabrina headband and Sabrina shoes.

- Got it.
- Meet me at my station ASAP.

And don't act suspicious.

Pretend you're a little girl.

Pshh. I'll try.

(rock music playing loudly)

? ?

BOB: Yeah! This is amazing!

Zentipede!

LOUISE: Hard to believe that's her.

You're good, lady.

Thanks. Let me do your mop sometime.

Hey, easy. Easy. Wait.

What if they discontinue Sabrina?

The one we stuck with the
dinner dolls will get shredded.

Oh, they're never gonna
discontinue Sabrina.

Sabrina pays the bills in this place.

So what do you think?

Should we put Little Miss
Winky back on the shelf?

Or we could buy her.

Bring this little spy in from the cold?

With Gretchen's discount,
it shouldn't be too bad.

Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!

Uh, I don't think so.

Look at Tina. I mean, she
has enough problems.

Let's just leave Francine here
and know that

we helped a girl
out of a tough spot.

Hey, you know what?
I'll be fine.

I'm, like, so comfortable
with this doll.

- My phobia is gone.
- Really?

Yeah. See how normal I'm acting?

All right!

- Thanks, T.
- No sweat.

- (rock music playing)
- So, the laser show,

it holds up, right?

I mean, you've never seen it before,

but could you sense
it holding up?

- I loved it.
- What?

Sorry. Talk louder. My
hearing's kind of shot.

(shouting): I said I loved it, Dad!

(loudly): I love you, too, Gene.

? Roll a rock to rock and roll-a ?

? Roll a rock to rock your soul ?

? A rock to rock and roll-a ?

? Robots don't get rock and roll-a ?

? Roll a rock to rock and soul ?

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-- www.addic7ed.com --

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