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1
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,664
- Immigration?
- Revenue.
2
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:33,834
Mrs. Rose! There are people
here from the government!
3
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,445
I've been gutted!
4
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:49,016
John, I've been stripped of every morsel
of pleasure I earned in this life!
5
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,751
Well, how do you think
I feel, Moira?
6
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,953
Eli was family,
for God's sake!
7
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,955
"Leave your finances to me,"
he said!
8
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,590
Son of a bitch!
9
00:00:56,624 --> 00:01:00,328
Baby, it's crazy.
People are just, like, taking our stuff!
10
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,663
I said,
they're taking our stuff!
11
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,965
Can you just step out of
the club for a second...
12
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,033
Hold on, hold on!
13
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,735
Those bags are not for you.
14
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,002
My boyfriend
bought those for me.
15
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,205
So, theoretically,
they are his!
16
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,307
Please, sir,
can you step aside?
17
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,410
No, you step aside!
You step aside!
18
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:18,011
I'm still trying to
wrap my mind around
19
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:22,082
what kind of a sick person wants to get
paid to destroy another person's life!
20
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,618
Destroy another person's life!
21
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,654
Where are you taking that?
22
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,089
My very soul
has been kidnapped.
23
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:32,025
There's no ransom.
No one's coming to save me!
24
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,094
We've got 15 minutes
to collect our personals.
25
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,729
- Can we pick up the pace?
- No.
26
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,932
No! Did you put Kristen with Robin?
They don't like each other!
27
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,135
No! No!
28
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,838
Eli really did
a number, Johnny.
29
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,440
He took everything.
30
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,709
They're still looking for him.
They think he's in the Caymans.
31
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,979
He was our business manager.
He's supposed to pay taxes!
32
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,080
Hmm.
33
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,649
There is a very small amount
set aside for you,
34
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,986
and one asset the government
has allowed you to retain.
35
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,053
The kids.
36
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,923
The children are dependents,
Moira.
37
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:09,430
You bought a small town
in 1991, Johnny.
38
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,766
Yes, I bought that
as a joke for my son.
39
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,703
Wait, you actually
purchased that town?
40
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,806
Yes, I purchased the town.
How else could I get the deed?
41
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,208
You could've
photoshopped the deed!
42
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,809
And saved the money!
Saved the money!
43
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,478
Why would I photoshop a deed?
The joke was owning the town!
44
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,779
- Okay, stop.
- That was the joke!
45
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,315
- Oh, my God!
- Well, that was the joke!
46
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:28,816
To Johnny's credit,
47
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,553
this town might just be
your saving grace.
48
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,688
- At least for a while.
- What do you mean?
49
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,225
You can live there for next to nothing,
until you get back on your feet.
50
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,693
I'm sure there's a penthouse
we can move into.
51
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,162
Please, there are
other options.
52
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,898
Well, homelessness is
still on the table.
53
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:02,082
The whole time I was surrounded
by old women wearing visors,
54
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,651
who smelled like yams!
55
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,887
There was nowhere to lie down!
56
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,122
There was nowhere to lie down.
There was no bed!
57
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,791
There was no kitchen.
58
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,727
I know! No.
59
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,063
I don't know what to tell you.
60
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,831
There's like,
cows all over the place.
61
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,467
Like, everywhere.
62
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,469
I don't know
if there's an infestation.
63
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,804
I don't know
what's happening. Yeah.
64
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,206
Johnny Rose!
65
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,677
Roland Schitt.
66
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,212
You're the mayor
we're supposed to meet.
67
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,514
That's right. I'm the mayor.
68
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,016
So if you're looking for
an ass to kiss, it's mine!
69
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,821
Oh, this is my family,
my son...
70
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,791
Let's get you all squared away in
the office there, Johnny, okay?
71
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,193
The gals can grab the bags.
You follow me, all right?
72
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,161
Right this way.
Watch it, honey. Here we come.
73
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,631
The Cheaters marathon
we watched, it's like that.
74
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,666
Children, keep an eye
on these bags.
75
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,336
Apparently in hell,
there's no bellman!
76
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:57,905
- David, what are we...
- Shut up!
77
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,741
- You shut up!
- You shut up!
78
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,411
- Um, you shut up!
- You shut up!
79
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448
The name is Rose.
80
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,518
I don't see a reservation
under that name.
81
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,220
It's okay, Stevie. I set aside
two rooms for them.
82
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,622
Well, there's nothing here.
83
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,624
Well, okay, fine. Just book
'em in with two rooms.
84
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,192
These people own the town.
They're big deals.
85
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,061
We'll need three rooms,
minimum.
86
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,963
Ooh, no can do, honey.
87
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,333
Look, we have a one-room
comp policy here,
88
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:29,036
and I am personally throwing in an
extra room out of sheer decency, so...
89
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,705
What about suites? Do you have
a couple of suites?
90
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,940
This guy!
91
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,442
Um...
92
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:37,478
No, this is a motel.
93
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:41,349
So we cater more to off road
truckers and drunk teenagers.
94
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:46,219
Please, someone just give me a key,
to a door, to a room, any room!
95
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:49,957
I just want a bathtub and
a long extension cord, please.
96
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,527
There you go, ma'am.
97
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,200
Smells like a gym bag.
98
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,202
Dees anyone else
feel light-headed?
99
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,806
Oh, my God, this takes me back
to high school.
100
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,777
You know, I did the deed in just
about every room in this place.
101
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,113
Yep, if a forensic team came in
here with one of those blue lights,
102
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,648
this place would just
light up!
103
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,083
Okay, that's good.
104
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,185
- Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
105
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,754
Oh, hey, chief, the other
room's right through there.
106
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:21,789
Here you go.
107
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,294
And there's the bed.
108
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:32,400
I should probably pull off
that cover and burn it.
109
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,867
All right.
110
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:38,171
Good, Roland. Thank you very much.
Appreciate everything...
111
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,607
Have a ball in
the land down under!
112
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,841
Ever wanna ride a kangaroo?
113
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,209
Okay.
114
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,513
Okay.
115
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,449
Okay.
116
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,185
Okay, okay.
117
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,288
Okay, okay, okay.
118
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,258
Okay. Okay.
119
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,360
Okay.
120
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,597
Okay!
121
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,435
Okay. Okay. I love you!
122
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,806
Oh, okay, well, looks like
you got all the channels
123
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,476
except for Channel 19 for some reason.
I don't know why.
124
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,211
Well, the thing is we won't be
watching a lot of television.
125
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,213
But again, thank you.
126
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,917
Don't want to keep you.
I know you're a busy man.
127
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:37,998
Whoa!
128
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,006
- Hi.
- Can I help you?
129
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,875
- I'm looking for an extra towel.
- Okay.
130
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,309
And this might be
a stupid question,
131
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,612
considering the state of
the rugs in our room,
132
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:56,183
but do you have
a business center here?
133
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,052
Yes, we do have
a business center.
134
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,589
You can find it right outside
the doors to your left,
135
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,357
right beside the Hammam spa.
136
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,259
Would you like me to book you a
treatment while you're at it?
137
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,128
Thank you.
No, just the towel, thanks.
138
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,763
I'll get those right out.
139
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,469
Well, Roland, once again,
thank you
140
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,538
for giving us the
lay of the land here,
141
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,540
but we have some
serious unpacking to do.
142
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:22,175
- If you don't mind.
- Oh, sure!
143
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,978
No problem there, Johnny.
I don't mind helpin' out.
144
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:29,783
Listen, one thing
before I go here...
145
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,919
Do you mind
if I use your toilet?
146
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,324
Is it absolutely necessary?
147
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:42,863
Yeah, I would say
it's absolutely necessary!
148
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,799
Excuse me.
"Absolutely necessary."
149
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:50,804
Yes, that train has left the station,
if you know what I mean!
150
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,307
I need that bed.
151
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,676
Why?
152
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,444
- Because I need it.
- Why?
153
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,746
Because if someone were
to break in here
154
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,313
in the middle of the night
wanting to murder us,
155
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,915
they would attack
this bed first.
156
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,151
So I need this bed.
157
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,554
So you're saying that you want
me to get murdered first?
158
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,622
In front of you?
And then what would you do?
159
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:11,859
Would you just run away and leave
me to bleed out on the floor?
160
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,728
Sort of,
that was the plan, yeah.
161
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,396
Okay.
162
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,298
Well, you can have
the bed when I leave.
163
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,233
Well, where are you going?
164
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,035
Stavros is flying in to get me.
I told you that.
165
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,838
What do you mean Stavros is...
166
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,707
What do you mean?
When? When is he doing that?
167
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,509
Like, whenever stupid Mary-Kate
stops hogging his plane.
168
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,078
Well, where are we going?
169
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:36,216
Okay. At present,
he's just coming for me.
170
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,384
But then I figured that
171
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,721
we would just come back and
grab you guys at some point.
172
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:47,194
What kind of sociopath abandons her
family in some vomit-soaked dump
173
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,496
to gallivant around the world
174
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:53,667
with her dumb shipping-heir loser
boyfriend she's known for three months?
175
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:57,671
David, it will be
four months next month!
176
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,707
Oh, my God!
177
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,141
And he just told me that
178
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,844
he could potentially see himself
considering saying "I love you"
179
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,879
at some point sometime soon,
so...
180
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,315
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
I'm telling Mom.
181
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,917
I'm telling Mom and Dad.
Have you told them?
182
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,352
No! No. David, I'm waiting for
the right opportunity.
183
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,421
Okay? Otherwise,
Dad's gonna cry,
184
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,591
and Mom's gonna do that thing where
she pretends that nothing's wrong,
185
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,227
and then just doesn't talk to me for
five months, and I don't want that.
186
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,764
Well, I need this bed.
I need it. So...
187
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,133
You know what, David?
188
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,235
You get murdered first
for once!
189
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,537
No, you get murdered first!
190
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,572
David, you get murdered first!
191
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,908
- No, you! You do!
- Yes, you get murdered first!
192
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,410
David,
you get murdered first!
193
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,523
I actually think
this place is kind of cute.
194
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,060
Did you say cute?
195
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:57,397
No, Alexis. Martha Stewart's
Hampton home is cute.
196
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,600
Where's that weird man?
197
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,103
Where?
198
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,841
He's in the bathroom.
He won't leave!
199
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,843
Well, he's been in there
for a very long...
200
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,913
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
201
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,449
Jeez. Boy.
202
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,519
Remind me to get that window fixed.
It will not open.
203
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,621
Roland, listen,
thank you very much.
204
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,390
But I appreciate everything
you've done.
205
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,760
We need a little private time
now as a family.
206
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:30,163
Sure. Well, actually,
those curtains do close there, so...
207
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,566
Oh, look!
You've got Channel 19!
208
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,804
Roland, could you
get the fuck out?
209
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,606
This latest model
is a revelation in innovation.
210
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,941
I am not lying, folks.
211
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,410
It's gonna last you a lifetime.
You are gonna thank...
212
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:50,450
That was an overreaction.
That was uncalled for.
213
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:55,355
It's just, you know, we're a little tired.
It's been a long day.
214
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,492
There's a pharmacy worth of drugs
wearing off on most of us right now,
215
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,863
and I just think as a family,
we need a little time to chill.
216
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,133
Johnny, please,
you don't have to apologize,
217
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,869
and you really don't have to hit me
over the head with this sort of thing.
218
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,070
I get it.
219
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,072
You need your little
family time and all that.
220
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,107
I'm sure. No problem.
221
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,744
You know what I'll do? I'll...
222
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:20,647
I'll just get
the fuck out of here.
223
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,363
We have to eat in here?
224
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,631
I think it's kind of sweet.
225
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,334
Alexis, what's going on
with you?
226
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,804
What do you mean?
227
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,874
Seriously?
The room was "cute," this place is "sweet."
228
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,242
I am personally offended
by this place.
229
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,611
I don't know what you think
is nice about it.
230
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,882
The town is disgusting.
It is gruesome.
231
00:11:54,915 --> 00:12:00,120
It is charming. It is quaint.
It's like out of a storybook.
232
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,555
Alexis, what the hell is
the matter with you?
233
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,326
Okay.
234
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,195
Stavros is flying in
to get me,
235
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,730
and I am going to go live
with him for a little bit.
236
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,933
Well, that is not happening.
237
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:18,371
And I am appalled that my baby girl has
turned into a selfish, duplicitous whore!
238
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,606
Oh, hello!
239
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,776
Hi, I'm Twyla.
I'll be your waitress today.
240
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:26,479
Anyway, I read about you guys and
everything you've gone through.
241
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,381
It sounds super crappy.
242
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,850
Super crappy?
243
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,652
I had a second cousin in
Elmdale who did telemarketing.
244
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,121
He made a ton of money.
245
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,424
Turns out his entire business was illegal,
and he lost everything.
246
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,426
Hmm. Not quite the same.
247
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,362
Yeah. No, he went to prison,
which is terrible, but...
248
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,798
But he is learning Spanish.
249
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:49,102
No mas, le duele! I think it
means, "Stop, it hurts."
250
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,805
Oh, wonderful anecdote.
Could you give us a moment, please?
251
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:54,141
Whenever you're ready.
I'm just right over here.
252
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,277
I forbid you
to abandon our family.
253
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,146
I am a grown woman, mother.
254
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,214
This is the act of
a spoiled child!
255
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,951
I think it's unforgivable!
256
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,953
I think that you're just
super jealous,
257
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,021
'cause I'm getting out
of here!
258
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,157
Also, you have a big thing
of dandruff on your eyebrow.
259
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,325
- Don't do that!
- Kids, stop, stop!
260
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:16,329
The world is falling apart around us,
John, and I'm dying inside.
261
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,698
Well, I'm feeling a little
queasy myself.
262
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,234
Oh, brisket!
263
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,404
- Give me some space!
- David!
264
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,079
John.
265
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,214
- Oh, my God!
- Um...
266
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,354
These rooms did have doors,
didn't they?
267
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,156
Yeah, it's a hotel.
They're hotel rooms.
268
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,193
It's a motel!
These are motel rooms.
269
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,794
What if they took our stuff?
270
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,897
What stuff?
There's no stuff to take.
271
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,564
I have stuff!
272
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,102
Son of a bitch!
273
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,676
Yeah, I've got a problem.
274
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,213
- If this is about doors...
- Yeah, it's about doors.
275
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:09,316
Yeah, my doors are gone, my front door.
Somebody stole my doors!
276
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,818
Yeah, you're gonna have to
talk to Roland about that.
277
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,053
He lives just down the street.
278
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,288
You make a left out of the
motel and then another left.
279
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,490
It's a house with a truck
in the driveway.
280
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,060
There's a bumper sticker
of a naked Helen Mirren.
281
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,599
Oh, my God, no! No! No!
282
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,035
What?
283
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,537
My earrings! They were there.
They're not there!
284
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,240
- Where did they go?
- I don't know! I don't know!
285
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,208
First you threatened
to abandon me,
286
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,444
and now my precious diamonds
are gone!
287
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,746
Okay, you are being
super dramatic right now.
288
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,781
Shut up and look for them!
289
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,361
Get open!
290
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,069
Roland, I see you
behind the truck!
291
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,904
Yeah, of course you see me.
292
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,806
I'm looking at my gravel.
293
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,810
Gravel these days.
What are you gonna do?
294
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,312
Yeah, it's gravel.
295
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,214
Yeah, it's gravel!
296
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,582
Hey, good news for you.
297
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,085
I talked to a guy about
that bathroom window.
298
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,287
That's the least of
my concerns right now!
299
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,856
Oh, Really?
Well, why don't we address your concerns?
300
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,225
The doors!
301
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,294
- I want my doors back!
- Oh.
302
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,762
Before it gets dark!
My son is afraid of moths.
303
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,064
Oh, hmm.
304
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,599
Well, here's the thing
about that, Johnny.
305
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,901
You see, you did a bad thing.
306
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,670
You disrespected me
in front of your family!
307
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,039
And now they think less of me.
308
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,707
I doubt that's possible.
309
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:41,808
And to be honest,
310
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,443
you were kind of
breathing down our necks
311
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,045
a little bit back
at the motel.
312
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,748
Johnny, when I was a kid
and I did a bad thing,
313
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,018
my father took
the doors off my room.
314
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:54,887
And he said to me,
"Roland, privacy is earned."
315
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,091
I am having a tough time
following that.
316
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,327
What the hell does that
have to do with privacy?
317
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,663
Nothing. I just got mad
and I took your doors.
318
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:07,267
Look, if you took offense to
anything I said back at the motel,
319
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,037
just know it wasn't personal.
320
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,474
All right. Apology accepted.
321
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:17,077
Well, that was less of an apology
and more of an explanation.
322
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,645
Nevertheless,
I accept your apology.
323
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,013
Which it wasn't!
324
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,814
So thank you again for that apology,
which was very nice.
325
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,850
Well, there was no apology,
and I can't do this anymore!
326
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,653
You said you're sorry in
a very sweet and humble way,
327
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,355
and that takes a big man
to do that.
328
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,691
And that's what
Johnny Rose is! A big man!
329
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,430
Oh!
330
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,068
Hello! Hello!
331
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,371
Hi, hello. Come here, please.
332
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:49,476
I don't suppose you saw
any hobos or crackheads
333
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,244
loitering around
the hotel today?
334
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,913
No crackheads, no...
335
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:57,484
While the rooms were exposed to
the world like a Moroccan fair,
336
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,253
someone got in here
and stole my earrings.
337
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:03,523
But it was just... But it was
just you here today.
338
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,160
- It was.
- It was.
339
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:10,763
I'm assuming you were the only
one here on the premises today?
340
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,166
I think I know where you're
going with this.
341
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,735
No, I'm simply confirming that
342
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:19,772
you alone were here
when the earrings were stolen.
343
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,441
Are you asking me
if I stole your earrings?
344
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,943
No, I would never. Please!
345
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:27,114
But I also would certainly
never press charges.
346
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,417
If my earrings were
suddenly to be returned,
347
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,120
if they suddenly reappeared,
348
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,455
if you gave them back,
I would not press charges.
349
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,290
I would look the other way.
350
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:38,791
Okay, you know what?
I gotta run.
351
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,128
'Cause I wanna hit the pawn
shop before it closes.
352
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,396
I owe my crack dealer
a ton of money, so...
353
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,333
You seem like you have this
under control, though.
354
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,301
What just happened?
355
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:52,004
David, I politely asked that concierge
girl if she had stolen my earrings,
356
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,575
and she turned ice cold,
and now she's on her way to a pawn shop!
357
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,577
What? I need a towel!
358
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,513
Hello, hi, hi.
359
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,915
I am sorry if my mom accused
you of taking something.
360
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,151
It's fine.
361
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,985
Okay, but does this mean that
when you're cleaning our rooms,
362
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,587
you're gonna put weird stuff
in our beds
363
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,622
- out of spite or something?
- I won't be cleaning your room.
364
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,791
Okay, can I ask you
a question?
365
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,693
Shoot.
366
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,163
- I think you're kind of rude!
- Is that a question?
367
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,999
I have asked you
thrice now for a towel
368
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:23,336
so that I may wash this town
off my body.
369
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,306
Do you think I wanna be here?
370
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,540
I don't know what you want.
371
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,476
You've given me one-word
answers since I got here!
372
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,412
So if I get you a towel,
you'll stop following me to my car?
373
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,113
Yes! Yes!
374
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,585
Fine, but I'm only doing this
because you called me rude,
375
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,853
and I take that
as a compliment.
376
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,855
The man is a lunatic!
377
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,657
What the hell happened here?
378
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,359
We've been robbed.
379
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:49,796
Right now, some local is
pawning my earrings for crank.
380
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,031
- Your diamonds?
- Yes, my diamonds,
381
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,766
the one thing I could hide
under my tongue.
382
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:58,070
Moira, I took
your earrings out of here
383
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,072
and I put them in my shoe.
384
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,211
- For safekeeping.
- No! No!
385
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,748
Stavros just texted me.
386
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,750
And he ended it.
He's not coming!
387
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,919
He said that he doesn't have
time to come and get me because
388
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,723
he already RSVP'd
to Diddy's white party,
389
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,157
and he doesn't have
time to do both!
390
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,159
But I was supposed to be
his date to the white party!
391
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:24,531
Alexis, he was never
my favorite Stavros.
392
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,132
I've hated that guy ever since
he asked me
393
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,335
to do lines with him
at my 60th.
394
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,938
Just out of sheer curiosity,
395
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,408
where do you stand now on whether or
not you think this motel is cute?
396
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:38,811
- Like, is it still cute, or is it...
- You're a dick, David!
397
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:39,879
Oh, I'm a dick?
398
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,114
Okay, did I dump you
for a party?
399
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:43,683
David, help me with the doors.
400
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,285
No, I can't.
I just got out of the shower.
401
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,586
I need help with the doors.
402
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,455
- David, help him with the doors!
- Oh, my God!
403
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,690
- You help him with the doors!
- No!
404
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,859
- David, could you help me with the doors?
- It's air-drying!
405
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:56,796
Pick up a hammer
and nail this coffin shut!
406
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,233
As if I didn't
see this coming.
407
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,703
He's broken up with me
five times already.
408
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:07,206
Like, there was that time
that he never met me in Rio,
409
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,311
and remember that time when he gave
me his ex-wife's engagement ring?
410
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,314
And then, last summer,
411
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:16,649
that time that he left his
molly in my glove compartment,
412
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:20,186
- and then I got arrested?
- Oh, my God! Can you do me a huge favor?
413
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,155
And never repeat this to
anyone that you respect, okay?
414
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,393
- Okay? Okay.
- Okay.
415
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,495
Kids, we just came in
to say good night
416
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:32,499
and to remind you that we will
get through this as a family.
417
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,566
Okay, good night!
418
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,269
Warmest regards to you both.
419
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:40,473
And that will end up
on our feet in no time!
420
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:44,176
Of course, by then our feet will
be shoeless and filthy and mangled
421
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:48,214
from walking on cigarette
butts and broken beer bottles.
422
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,984
So, seriously, Alexis,
enough about Stavros!
423
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:56,022
I'm sorry if I am going
through something right now!
424
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,625
You're going through
something?
425
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,069
- Good night, children.
- Good night!
426
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,705
Good night.
Good night.
427
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:15,708
Let's all pray
we don't wake up.
33280
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