All language subtitles for The Osbournes Want to Believe - 1x07_track3_eng

Oh, it looks like it.

[ humming ]
[bleep]

Jackie!

Go and tell them to [bleep]
get a move on, will you?

-What's up [bleep]?
-Daddy!

-Hi. Fancy seeing you here.
-He's ready to believe.

Look at this.
-[bleep] believe.

Jack: We may be
the first family of darkness,

But not all of us are true
believers in the paranormal.

They want to believe...

Has a ghost ever been
caught on film?
Yes.

Man: Whoa! What the --
...And I have the evidence
that will blow their minds.

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

I think you're starting
to believe.

Seeing is believing.

-Whoa.
-What is happening?

[ screams ]

♪♪

Oh, god, no.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

How are we feeling
today?

Really good. Ready.
Fabulously haunted.

Okay. Are we feeling like
we're ready to believe?

I'm willing to try
and believe.

♪ I'm a believer ♪
this is it.

Better be some good
[bleep] today, jack.

This is it.
We've got some good stuff.

Let's get going!
Later we have my favorite,
which is...

What?
I won't give it away.

Onward and upward,
and down we go.

Let's begin
at the beginning.

Let's kick it off,
then.
Go on.

This first clip,
back to some creepy dolls.

Do you find dolls creepy,
just to begin with?

Yes.
Clowns and dolls, yeah.
Yeah.

Alright, so this is a doll
which is allegedly haunted.

It's in argentina.

And these women
are doing a ceremony

To try and invoke
the spirits within.

I mean, it's the whole point
of us being here.

The doll starts to move,
but I'm not gonna ruin it.

Jack: These two girls
decided

To mess around
with some witchcraft.

You know, a perfectly normal
Saturday night activity.

[ girls speaking spanish ]

They focus their ritual
on their grandmother's doll,

Which she had always claimed
had a spirit clinging to it.

She called the spirit catalina.

Pay attention
to the arms.

Girls: Catalina, catalina.
[ speaking spanish ]

Ozzy: Close it.
Jack: Nothing happens at first,

But these amateur conjurers
don't give up that easily.

♪♪

[ girls scream ]

See the arms?

♪♪

[ girls scream ]

Were they chanting for the devil
to possess the doll?

Well, they said, like,

"catalina, catalina,
come back to life.

What the devil took away,
bring back."

Meaning, like,
if the devil took your soul,

Bring it back into the doll.
I mean, let's be honest,

When you're invoking the devil
to, like, possess a doll...

[ laughs ]
it's a really good point.

Play stupid games,
win stupid prizes.

Then they'll go,
"see, it does move, don't it?"

[ speaking gibberish ]

Mama.

[ screams ]

[ laughter ]

I'd [bleep] move if somebody
was going, "ozzy, ozzy, ozzy!"

Yeah.
But the doll
wasn't even an old doll.

It was like a new doll.

I think it was
an old doll.

The grandmother had had the doll
for a while.

Just well-maintained?

That's a new doll!

They got that
from [bleep] target.

New doll, old doll?
The thing [bleep] moved.

And I saw it move.

He's a believer.

Huh?
You're a believer.

I'm not a believer,
but it did move.

Okay. [ laughs ]

What do you think?
Woogie boogie scale?

2.
3.

Come on! Seriously?

That's a bit harsh,
don't you think?

No, the grandma was behind it,
obviously, doing....

Have you ever done
a séance?

Yes.
Have you ever done
a séance?

No!
Like, in, like, the swinging
'60s, you guys would...?

No!

♪♪

Alright, um...

Can I just ask
something, though?

Aren't south american people
historically very, um...

Well, they're very catholic,
so they've very superstitious.

...Very superstitious.
That's the word I'm looking for.

Yeah.
Well, central and south america,

You've got to look at kind
of the cultural influence.

You've got the kind of, you
know, indigenous population,

Which was, you know,
incan, mayan, you know,

Early civilizations
that were highly superstitious.

I think superstitious are if you
don't understand certain things

And you feel weird
when certain things happen.

Why'd you buy
a green car, then?

Somebody said to me,
a long, long time ago

"don't ever buy
a green car."

And I said,
"it's a load of old [bleep]."

So I bought a green car,
and it was never out the shop.

So you're superstitious.

So, you know where that
came from, the green car?

That actually came about
during world war ii because --

No! It was because,
during the blitz,

And they were bombing
london...

♪ I'm a believer ♪

...Some people
would be driving in a car

And a bomb would land
on their car,

And the car was green.

And so a superstition
went around

That they were bombing
the green cars.

I didn't get bombed.
I didn't get bombed.

You bought a bomb,
though.

A lemon.
A lemon.

Okay, so this is
the ortega poltergeist.

Jack: So, this happened to
jorge ortega and his family.

He was in a coma for a week,
having had a heart failure.

While he was in the coma, jorge
dreamed of a little girl --

Ozzy: Pervert.
Jack: ...Handing him
a stuffed animal.

Anyway, he wakes up
a week later,

And the stuffed animal
he saw in his dream

Is sitting
right next to him.

I think
jorge's not well.

Well, he's not.
He was in a coma.

Yeah, but he's still
not well.

Well,
but here's the thing.

His wife says a little girl
came to her

And gave her the stuffed animal
to give to jorge.

Of course, she asked
the little girl why,

And the girl said that
it'll help him get better.

When he recovers,

He takes the lucky
stuffed animal home with him,

And things start
to get a little weird.

Watch the scooter.

There's, like, a little kid's
scooter right here.

[ speaking spanish ]

That's the top
of it here.

[bleep]
look at this thing.

Starts moving
by itself.

I mean, it's all [bleep]
look, watch.

♪♪

See the scooter move?

[ dog barks ]
what the [bleep]?

Am I watching a dog bark?
That's weird.

Maybe he's got
a bit of a wire 'round it.

But what about this?
Watch.

Jack: The stuffed animal
the little girl gave him

Starts to move on its own.

No, it fell.

It [bleep] fell.
Just fell.

Jack: Well, jorge
sure isn't laughing.

♪♪

He calls a medium and asks her
to investigate the activity.

She's immediately drawn
to the stuffed animal

And warns him that a little
girl's spirit is attached to it,

And things are only
gonna get worse

If he keeps it around.

When he tries to communicate
with the spirit,

He gets some really clear evps.

And then the spirit
manifests in the room.

Alright, now you see it.
Watch.

It's sat on the bed.
Watch.

Look at the shadow.

Where?
They'll go back
and play it.

Look, right here.
Look at that.

It looks like a coat
that's hanging on a hook.

That's it -- coat.
Hanging on hook.

It's a haunted coat.

♪♪

So we don't believe
this one?

No.
No. Haunted coat.
That's it.

But now, you were in a coma
for a little bit.

I mean, you could --

I never dreamt
of stuffed animals.

But you had an out-of-body
experience in hospital, though.

I mean, that journey
that I went on

When I was in that coma
was [bleep].

I can still remember it
as if it was yesterday.

Mm.
You...
I flew down to new zealand,

And you had dyed your hair
in a mohican cut.

And it was white,
and it was so real.

It's a [bleep] strange dream,
but very clear.

Yeah.
I do believe that

There is some different
spiritual plane we end up in.
I think...

I do believe, however,
that we've forgotten

How to do certain things
with our bodies.

Like, if you didn't, say,
do things with your arm,

Your arm would wither away.

Yeah.
I use the cement analogy.

The romans
invented cement,

And when the roman empire
collapsed,

People forgot how to make cement
for like 1,500 years.

And then it was, like,
accidentally rediscovered,

Even though it had
already existed.

It's kind of like,
a dog will go into a room

And it will pick up
a vibe.
Yeah.

Yeah, it just
frightened you.

That's what it was.
No, it wasn't.

I'm not with her butt --
I thought you were
getting fresh with me.

Shut up!
I'm just stroking her back.

I'm not touching --
you were fondling
her genitalia.

Okay, so where would you rate
this on the woogie boogie scale?

1.
2.

Mm. Okay.

What do we think,
bella?

Bella doesn't really know
what she thinks anymore.

What do you think,
bella?

Oooh!

Ohh, daddy!

Oh, daddy!

My little baby girl.

Sorry!

Um, okay.
Let's go.

When you die...
Yes?

...And you're given
the option

To, like, haunt or visit,
would you?

Oh, yeah!
Who would you haunt?

Oh, god, there's
a whole list of people.

We've got a good poltergeist one
for you to see.

That's [bleep] weird.

I would be running around, like,
"aah, I can't believe it! Aah!"

♪♪

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

♪♪

What lucky parents we are
to have bella as our baby.

Are you guys gonna leave
all your wealth to the dogs?

No, the cats.
They live longer.

The cats. Ah.
[ bella whines ]

♪♪

Okay, so this is, a cemetery
security guard films hauntings.

Okay.
And it's interesting

Just because of what
he captures on camera.

And he's going into a mausoleum,
where he can hear noises.

Joshua: I'm actually hearing
something banging on the door.

I'm hoping I'm gonna catch
this son of a [bleep].

Jack: So, this happened to
a security guard last year

In savannah, georgia.
The guy's name is joshua runyan.

And the footage went viral.

He was working
the night shift

And he heard some noise
coming from the mausoleum.

So he went to check it out.

Joshua: The door
was open again.

Hello! Security!

Jack: Did you hear that?

It sounds like
someone yelled, "help!"

To me, it sounds
like a little girl, right?

Joshua: Hello?

♪♪

Jack: He searches
the whole mausoleum

And doesn't find anything.

So he goes back to his truck
to look at the footage.

And upon playback, he notices
something really weird.

♪♪

Did you catch that?

Ozzy: What?

Jack: Upper right-hand corner --
a pair of legs.

You see on the floor,
there?

This is not a [bleep]
pair of legs.

It's a [bleep] chair,
or a vase.

I'd say
it's a haunted vase.

Jack: Okay, so we have your
theory about the haunted vase

And the haunted chair.

But what about the voice?

The hearing
of the voice.
Yeah,
it's the voice.

I think the voice is the most
convincing part of this video.

♪♪

Being in a [bleep] mausoleum
after dark...
[bleep] that.

You wouldn't do that?

No!
Got to be [bleep]

You've been to the
forever hollywood?

I've been there, yeah,
but I haven't...

Would you stay there?
No.

In the mausoleum?

I'll tell you,
I went to sicily one time,

And they have
catacombs there.

And they've got [bleep]
dead bodies

Hanging all over
the [bleep]

Do you know
the ones in paris?

There is a legend
about a guy who got lost

And died in the catacombs
in the 1800s.

Can you imagine
getting lost down there

And never finding
your way out?

Imagine how horrible
that would be.
Oh, that's horrible.

Yeah.
Ugh!

You wouldn't have
to go very far.

It'd be a cheap funeral.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah, they just put you
back in the wall.

That would be
interesting, though.

I wonder if they'd ever
let you go in there

And spend the night.

Where?
In the catacombs?

I'm sure
it could be arranged.

Can't be me.
[bleep] that.

Mausoleums are weird,
though.

Why?
Like, so you're
just, like,

Put in a building,
in a wall?

What's her name?

Oh, you saw evita's...
Mausoleum, yeah.

Wow.
It's in the shape
of a shoe.

Is it?
It ain't.

She liked shoes!

It ain't in the shape
of a [bleep] shoe.

It's a [bleep]
palatial building.

Didn't she have like
10,000 shoes or something?

She was a dictator,
wasn't she?
Yeah.

Did they kill her,
or she died?

She died of cancer.
Died.

But they exhumed the grave
many years later,

And she was
perfectly preserved.

Really?
And they found
the other shoe!

Okay.

[bleep] off,
you and these [bleep] shoes.

[ chuckles ]

Woogie boogie scale?

I'll give that a 2.

A 2?

Ugh,
you're killing me!

I think the most
frightening thing

Was the little girl's
voice.

Okay.
But if I was
in a mausoleum

And I heard
a little girl's voice

In the dead of night, it would
frighten the life out of me.

Here's a question --

When you die...
Yes?

...And you realize, okay,

There's like another place
you can go to,

But you're given the option
to, like, go back

And, like, "haunt" or visit,
would you?

Oh, yeah!
Who would you haunt?

Oh, god, there's
a whole list of people.

It's about this long.
It would be fun, come on.

You're gonna be haunting
for a long, long time.

Well no, I mean, like,
if you were given the option

To like,
"hey, you can, like,

Hang out in this, like, cool,
like, new spiritual realm,

Or you can, like,
dip back into earth for a bit

And go [bleep]
with some people."
and then come back.

Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I would do that.

Yeah.
Definitely.

What would be, like,
your haunting of choice?

Like, what would you do?
Would you move things?

Would you just...
Oh, I don't know.

I would just do...
I'd [bleep] with people.

I would just [bleep] with them.
Like, pull their hair apart

And undo their clothes
and all that [bleep]

So you'd be like a pervert?

Probably.

What's this now?
This one is a good one.

This is a dash cam
from a truck,

And it captures a ghost
walking through the crosswalk.

Watch this.

Jack: This happened
in 2016

On a really busy
highway in japan.

This is wild.
Watch the crosswalk.

This woman literally appears
in front of the truck.

[ horn blaring ]

Double exposure.
It's digital.

You can't
double-expose digital.

You want to watch it
again?

It's very odd.
Look, she just materializes.

♪♪

[ horn blaring ]

Crazy, right?
Yeah.

I think it's something
with the camera.

You think it's trickery.
Tomfoolery.

Think it's just something wrong
with the camera,

Or it's a double exposure
or something.

What do you think?

I don't know,
but it looks good.

Woogie boogie scale
for you guys?

4.

5.
Okay, I'll take it.

Have you ever thought you'd seen
something that wasn't there?

Not that I can
remember, no.
Alright.

[ chuckles ]

So, now that there's
dash cams

And there's motor highway
cameras,

Like, always mounted,
looking,

They're starting to capture
this more and more.

And it's becoming
a bit of a trend,

Or a phenomenon,
however you want to call it.

And this next clip...
Well, you'll see.

Jack: This clip
is from a cctv camera

Outside of a grocery store
in the philippines.

Just watch the street.

A man appears
to emerge out of nowhere,

And then he just walks
right into the oncoming traffic

And vehicles
go right through him.

♪♪

It's the camera.
It's a glitch on the camera.

It's double exposure,
yeah.

But these are
digital images.

You can't double-expose
digital images.

Well, it's something
with the camera.

I don't agree.
Look at it again.

That's odd to me.

♪♪

It's an image
of someone walking.

Whether it's a trickery
of the camera

Or whether
it's a real ghost...

To me, I think it's like
a double exposure

Or somebody was messing
with the camera or something,

Because it's like the cars
go on through it.

I think it's like...
Do you remember the movie

"ghost" with patrick swayze
and whoopi goldberg?

Yeah.
And the ghosts,

They just used to walk around
and you couldn't see,

And they'd go through walls,
and why not?

Yeah,
but I'm just saying,

Why would that camera
pick it up?

One thing
that's interesting about it --

It's all in kind of
a black silhouette.

If it was a double exposure,
wouldn't it have definition?

Yeah.
Like, a double exposure

Wouldn't do, like,
a halfway exposure.

You would still...

It wouldn't be
in silhouette, ah?
No.

Alright.
Woogie boogie?

7.
Oh! Oh, okay.

You've upped it
on that one.

Mum?
5.

Alright,
now we're getting somewhere.

But, like the other one,
from japan, right?

Yep.
It's good film.

Is it somebody
messing with it?

I don't know.
But it looks good.
Yeah.

This clip is some of the
weirdest footage I've ever seen.

Whenever they have
scary children,

They always put them
in red jackets.

Why do people do that?

So you can see them
when they levitate.

She was the one
with the --
[ speaking indistinctly ]

Just wanted to
clear it up.
So what would you
say that was?

Hi, greenacres
assisted living?

♪♪

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

♪♪

We should maybe do
that show "hoarders"

And do an episode
on mum,

Because there's, like,
pillars of wood in storage,

And I'm like,
"can we throw these out?"

Mom's like, "no, no,
those are valuable."

Pillars of wood?
White pillars.

They were like
these wooden, white pillars

That were in someone's
dressing room.

Every dressing room
tells a story.

Get rid of them!
[bleep] no!

No.
What are you gonna do
with big pillars of wood?

Me and sharon
will reminisce

When we're old and gray
and wrinkly.

Oh, you know
what you should do?

You should haunt all of
those [bleep] objects, then.

Then I'll sell them.

♪♪

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

Now, this clip is, like,

A world-renowned
classic paranormal clip.

People have been trying
to figure out

What the [bleep] this is
for a long time.

It's some of
the weirdest footage

I've ever seen.

Jack: So,
this is in russia.

A man is taking his dog, tarzan,
for a walk in the woods.

Man: Tarzan!

Jack: It looks like the dog
catches the scent of something

And bolts after it.

His owner tries to go
get him back.

Man: Come here.

Why is the russian man
speaking in english to his dog?

Maybe he's working
on his english.

Maybe he's married
to an englishwoman.

Jack: I don't know.

But that's not the unexplainable
part of this video.

Just wait.

Man: Tarzan! Tarzan!

Jack: So the dog takes off,
and the guy runs after him

And stumbles upon this.

Look at this.

♪♪

How weird is that?

Inflatable?
I don't think so.

She could be a witch.

-Maybe she's superman.
-Or she's a witch.

♪♪

And I guess we'll never know,

Because the dog scares
the pair off

Before the guy can figure out
what the [bleep] is going on.

♪♪

Maybe they're aliens.

Most people think
it's some kind of witchcraft.

It's very [bleep]
strange, that is.

It moves around
too much,

And she's consistently
staying there,

For it to be
doctored in.

Whenever they have,
like, scary children,

They always put them
in red coats, or red jackets.

Why do people do that?

So you can see them
when they levitate.

That's true. You can see them
shoot across the sky.

If she wearing,
like, a green one,

She'd blend in with the trees,
wouldn't she?

No, she'd get bombed, 'cause
they'd think she was a car.

Alright, so where are we at
on the woogie boogie scale

Of our floating
little red riding hood?

Oh, 8.
8, 9.

Very convincing.

Now, that's
more like it!

It's the most convincing thing
we've seen today, for me.

I think so.

[ rimshot ]

Alright, if you had
a superpower, what would it be?

Would you levitate?

Mind-read.
Mind-read? Mum?

I'd either mind-read
or be invisible.

Would you?
But if you could be
invisible, though,

Would your clothes
go invisible, too,

Or would you have to be naked
and invisible?

Oh.
Oh, naked
and invisible.

So you would just run around...
But you'd be cold.

I wouldn't want people
knowing I was there.

Yeah, but what happens
if they found you accidentally

And you're running around naked?
And you're like, "oh, wait."

Alright, moving on,
with the invisible woman

And the mind-reading dad.

This next clip is a pilot,
who was flying a little cessna,

And two ufos whizz past him.
And they're not planes,

Because they're moving
entirely too fast.

And they move so quickly,
you almost can't see them.

Does it look like
ball lightning?

No, it doesn't.
They look like silver rods.

Okay.

Jack: This happened in 2014
to an argentinian pilot.

He's flying a private aircraft
at about 5,000 feet.

And then, boom!

This unidentified
aerial phenomenon,

Or uap for short,
comes out of nowhere,

Going incredibly fast.

I need to see it again,
because...
Alright.

You didn't really
catch it, did you?

See that? Now watch.
The next one goes even faster.

And then the shapes of these
uaps are entirely different.

Ozzy: It sounds like
something flying,

And the one catches up
with the other one,

And then
they both come...
Yeah.

Now watch.
You've seen both.

Jack: About one minute later,
they come back.

Okay, watch this.

♪♪

Weird, right?

It could be
some military experiment.

Yeah, but that's...
That's wild.

And why would...
I just...

I feel, like, the military
wouldn't risk, like...

Did they go that way,
then came back that way?
Yeah.

But they went
that way separately,

But came back together.
Yeah, they went
that way first,

And then they came back. And,
yeah, and they went ssh, ssh!

And then they came back
together.

Right.
It could be some plane.
I don't know.

Usually, if someone's
gonna fake something,

They want attention, but he just
doesn't want to be identified.

I mean, I'm not
saying it's fake.

But you think
it could be other things.

I don't think this could be
from an other world, you see.

It could be something
from this world, being tested.

A new fighter...
Where was this?

In argentina.

They were looking
for evita's shoes.

That's what they were --
two shoes flying.

Just threw...

He threw them out the window
of the plane. [ laughs ]

Do you think it could of been
ufos racing each other?

No.
Come to earth
for a little race?

No. It's definitely
something flying across the sky.

Whether it's a ufo,
I don't know.

But it's definitely
something flying.

I read a book about area 51
a few years ago,

And they were talking about
when the test pilots

That were testing all the new,
like, supersonic planes

And stealth fighters
and all that stuff,

They had, like,
a no-fly zone

In this whole area
around area 51,

Where the planes could fly.

And sometimes they would
encounter planes flying past.

So what they started doing
is [bleep] with pilots

That had no idea
what was going on.

They would put on
"planet of the apes" masks

And be flying these, like,
supersonic fighter jets...

Look at that!

...To [bleep] with these other
military pilots being,

Like, "wait, is
'planet of the apes' real?"

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, so what do you think
about that?

Oh, I think
that's from earth

And it's testing some new
flying thing out.

That's what I think.

And, for that,
I give it a 4 or 5.

Okay.
I think
it's very interesting.

[ drumroll ]

Yeah. And?

I don't know
what it is.
Okay.

Jack: The thing attracts a whole
crowd of curious onlookers.

It looks like the old pregnancy
test you used to take,

Where it would --
what the [bleep]?

Don't you remember,
when we took --

No! I was drunk.
Wonderful.

♪♪

♪♪

What's the matter?
Nothing.

I'm just looking at you
and thinking

What a lucky man I am
to have you as my wife.

[ jack retches ]
what do you want?

I love you.

♪♪

Alright, this is a ufo
in switzerland.

Oh, does it yodel?

[ woman yodeling ]

It's wearing
lederhosen and...

Has a long pipe.
As it's going, "ricola!"

Jack: So, this happened

In the lovely town
of brugg, switzerland.

Lulzim is out
walking his dog

When he notices something
unusual in the sky.

[ man speaking
foreign language ]

It's got a
different-colored center.

Yeah.
Ball lightning.

No!
We did a bit of research
into ball lightning.

Jack: And this doesn't
sound like ball lightning

From the description
I've read.

Ozzy: Oh, it's [bleep] ball
lightning again.

Alright, so ball lightning
can only really occur

In stormy environments,
like lightning normally does.

So lots of cloud cover,
friction, things like that.

That's clear blue sky.

Jack: And, anyway,
it doesn't move

Anything like ball lightning
is supposed to.

♪♪

The thing attracts a whole
crowd of curious onlookers

Before it vanishes into the sky.

I don't know.
Maybe it's...

And it looks, actually,
like the old pregnancy test

You used to take,

Where it--
what the [bleep]
are you...

Well, I'm telling you!
Where it would be a white ball

And in the middle,
if you were pregnant,

It would come orange.
That's it --
it's pregnant!

And then the outside
would be white.

It looks...
It's ball lightning,
pregnant.

Don't you remember...
No.

When we took them all,
in germany?

I was drunk!
Oh, yeah, well...
Bloody hell.

Well, it looks
like a pregnancy test,

But why is it orange
in the center?
Wonderful.

I think that...I mean,
I have this whole theory,

Because I've been watching
so many of these videos.

I think these are
essentially probes

That aliens are sending to earth
to [bleep]

On atmosphere,
on environment, on population.

And it's sending
information back.

And I think
this is, like,

They're sending more
and more of them

Because they're gonna
come soon.

Like, think about
how many probes

We've sent to mars,
right,

Because we're getting ready
to go there.

So, they're like, "quick,
keep sending more.

We need more data.
We need more satellites."
maybe.

And I think they're just
sending a ton of stuff

'cause they're
gonna turn up soon.

But it could be a pregnant
[bleep] ball lightning.

Pregnant ball lightning
is a theory.

Just out of curiosity,
what is the hesitation

To be more open
to the fact that it's plausible

That it could be
some extraterrestrial?

Well, I've never actually met
or seen a ufo

That's landed
and a little green man's got out

And going, "yi-yi-yi-yi!"
and gone back in.

[ laughs ]

I mean,
there's sightings every day,

And there's [bleep] books on it
and films on it,

And people
have witnessed things.

But until I actually see
something land...

Do you agree?
Anything is possible.

Anything is possible.

Yeah, but
seeing is believing.

Do you think, in our lifetime,
aliens, they will arrive?

Well, put it this way --
if they come here,

I'll be going out there.
Yeah.

I wonder,
if they do arrive here,

If they could sell tickets

So we can all just [bleep]
leave with them.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, yeah.
Would you?

Like, as a family,
if they were like,

"hey, listen,
the whole family can go."
no.

Yes, but do you know
what I've just thinked?

And I've just thinked
about the shoe.

It was imelda marcos.

What the [bleep]
is in your head?

It wasn't evita.
Evita, it wasn't her.

It was imelda
that had the shoes.

What's it got to do with
[bleep] pregnant ball lightning?

Imelda marcos
wasn't in "evita."

She was the one
with the shoes.

And the [bleep] alien
ball lightning is pregnant.

She was the one with the shoe,
and I got them mixed up.

Oh, and so what are you --
just wanted
to clear it up.

Hi, greenacres
assisted living?

Yeah, can you come and pick up
two senile elderly grandparents?

Yeah, that would be great.

Yeah, by five o'clock
would be awesome.

Thank you.
Okay. Bye.

I'm glad you informed me
about imelda marcos, sharon.

That's really made
my [bleep] day.

I wanted to clear it up,
that was all.

Okay.

Do you think aliens are
visiting switzerland for the --

Hiding money?
No.

For the banking system.
Bank accounts.

The pregnant ball lightning,
going for a yodeling lesson.

[ man yodeling ]

[bleep] hell.

Oh, that's a joke!

What the [bleep]?

Aaah!

They've used her as, like,
a voice box for ghosts.

-You are here.
-Oh god, I'm done.

♪♪

♪♪

On from ufos
and into poltergeists,

Which I think
is your favorite...

Look, I must admit that in
everything that I've seen

On these things
we've been doing,

The poltergeists have been
very convincing.
Yeah?

We've got a good poltergeist one
for you to see,

Which is bonkers.

Jack: Andy gomez is an employee
at a weed dispensary

In downtown oregon city.

And he's working one night
and is startled

When a jar
slides off the counter.

Watch the jar.

Vibration.

Jack: That's probably
what andy thinks at first.

But when he looks
at the security footage

From multiple angles,

He notices the jar
gradually moving to the edge

For over six minutes.

Ozzy: Vibration.

No, 'cause it was
kind of suspended in...

Yeah, it was like
slowly...

It would be
a consistent vibration.

Nothing else is moving.

Jack: And not only that --
over the next few weeks,

The camera picks up more bizarre
activity in the same spot.

♪♪

And here's the thing --

Since he works in oregon,
they have to have, like,

State-certified cameras
in the weed dispensaries,

Because they're dealing in a --
you know, with marijuana.

So, if they get caught
tampering with it,

The whole shop
gets shut down.

♪♪

Creepy!

It can be explained.

I mean, the thing
with the scissors in the jar,

It could have been
sliding off the pens.

In my bathroom,
I put this glass on the side,

But it sometimes
slides on its own.

Woogie boogie scale?

I'll give that one
a 4.

A 4?
3.

Seriously?

Somewhere, you've
shown me other ones

Which have been far more [bleep]
convincing than that one.

Now, this is a woman
I believe in England,

Whose brother
has passed away,

And she feels like
he's haunting her.

Donna lives
in beaulieu, England.

He brother, with whom she'd had
a troubled relationship with,

Died shortly before this
poltergeist activity started.

Donna: Oh, my gosh.

The surface isn't wet
or anything.

It's all dry.

[as donna]
"it's all dry."

Jack: She documented hours
of this activity.

This unseen force
moves the chandelier.

It screws around
with the flowers in her vase.

Donna: Oh...!

Jack: And it chucks silverware
around the kitchen.

♪♪

That's [bleep] weird.

♪♪

Jack:
It seems like her brother wants
to carry on their grudge match

From beyond the grave.

Donna:
What do you want?!

Oh, my god!

That's [bleep] weird.

Isn't that weird?
Believable.

What would you do
if you came down to the kitchen,

You've just made your coffee
in the morning,

And all of a sudden
you see the spoon doing that?

I wouldn't have
done that.

I would be running around like,
"aah! I can't believe it. Aah!"

She was very, like...
Uhhh, you know.

"legged it."
[ both laugh ]

What would you give
that one?

6.
6?

8.
An 8.

[ screams ]

Okay. Moving on.

Here's a question --
what's that story about geezer

Writing the lyrics
to black sabbath,

And the demon
at the foot of his bed?

That was his wife.
Oh, yeah?

♪♪

♪♪

Now, I'm gonna
explain this to you,

'cause this is from
portals to hell.

This is captain grant's inn
in connecticut.

So, captain grant's inn
was this really old house,

Like colonial days,
and then turned into an inn.

The woman that owns it
is a woman named carol

Who's experienced paranormal
activity in this place

Since she's owned it.
Since, like, the '80s.

And we did
an experiment with her,

Where we essentially
used her as, like,

A voice box for ghosts.

She was in one house, and we put
katrina in another location.

Katrina was asking
questions,

And the woman, carol,
was answering them.

She didn't know prior?
Nothing.

Nothing prior.
Nothing.

Okay.
Just watch this footage.

So, there's carol.

Look, she's got earphones on.
She can't hear.

She's got a blindfold on.

I'm in the basement,
underneath her.

She can't hear anything.

You are here.
"you are here."

You're here.

She's saying, "you're here."

Tell me why
you're so angry.

Katrina's in
a different house.

She's shaking her head no.

Katrina: Talk through carol
and tell me why you're so angry.

What happened to you?

Joseph.

-I heard "joseph."
-is that your name? Joseph?

-Yeah.
-Now she's saying yes.

Are you joseph whipple?

-Yeah.
-Yes.

Jack: Katrina isn't even in the
same house as carol right now.

This is [bleep] weird.

Did you enter carol's body
two times?

This is insane!

Nodding yes.
-Why?

I don't understand
why you want to enter her body.

Did carol do something wrong?
Is that why you're angry?

I'm done.

What the [bleep]?

[bleep]
she said yeah.

She says, "I'm done."
yeah.

That wasn't no [bleep]

She was answering
the questions that --

No she wasn't!

She was just going, "urgh!
And, "I'm done."

Seriously, you guys
just don't get it.

Watch the full episode
and you'll see.

It's insane.
If you've got
better footage,

You could've shown
better footage.

[ wah-wah-wah-wah ]

I'll give that a...

5.
Yeah.

All this work, and again
with the low scores?

Alright, so on
the believability scale,

Where are we at
with just ghosts?

I believe in energies,
and I believe,

Like I've said before,
about people's souls

And things like that.

But have I ever seen
a ghost

Or heard what I thought
was a ghost?

No.
I do believe in fate.

Like, they're not meant
to be old.

Yeah.
You can look at people
and you can think,

"I could never, ever,
ever imagine..."

That was something. Randy --
I knew from the moment

I met him, I knew
he wouldn't make old bones.

What's the saying?

"the flame that burns twice
as bright lasts half as long."

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you know
what I'm terrified of?

Dying in a plane crash.

Years ago, there was a flight
going from chicago airport.

On takeoff, the engine fell
off, and it crashed and burned.

Everyone got killed.

Wow. You were supposed to be
on the plane?

I had the ticket.

I used to think that
if I was on a plane

With somebody famous,
the plane wouldn't crash.

Now, how ridiculous
is that?

So that's why
you married me?

[ laughs ]

Here's a question --
what's that story about

Geezer writing the lyrics
to black sabbath

And saying that he saw a demon
at the foot of his bed

Because he had some book?

Nah. Me and bill
wrote the...

That was his wife.

Me and bill wrote the lyrics
to black sabbath.

Oh, yeah?

What is this
that stands before me?

Yeah.
But, you know, I mean...

Don't listen to any of it,
because I went and stayed there,

And then they were
throwing bloody billiard balls

Through the window,
and they were telling the owner

Of the house it was haunted.
It was them,

Throwing the billiard balls
through the window

So they wouldn't have
to pay the damage,

And then they were telling
the owner it was a ghost.

What are you scared of?
Like, what freaks you out?

Fire and spiders.

Anything freak you out?

Your mum.
Oh, okay.

Alright, well, that's what
we've got for this episode.

It was good fun.
Yeah.

We've got more coming up,

So make sure you guys tune in
next week for --

Please tune in.
It's gonna be even scarier.

..."osbournes want to believe."

Look for flying kids
in the forest.

♪♪

Let's begin
at the beginning.

[ laughs maniacally ]

What do we think,
bella?

Bella doesn't really know
what she thinks anymore.

My little baby girl.

Are we feeling like
we're ready to believe?

Ready!
♪ I'm a believer ♪

Ozzy, ozzy, ozzy!

Were they chanting
for the devil?

Onward and upward,
and down we go.

Ugh. Who's got aaa?