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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,995 --> 00:00:06,415 Oh, man. You guys missed a great party last week. 2 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,921 - Say hello to your new foster family. - You're one of five wives? 3 00:00:13,089 --> 00:00:15,132 - Married to a dude named Clyde? - Who's 65? 4 00:00:15,299 --> 00:00:17,467 Would it be all right if my son Jonah came to visit? 5 00:00:17,635 --> 00:00:20,262 Keep laughing. I will slit your throat while you sleep. 6 00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:23,598 - Shoplifting is out of hand. - You have to stand up to him. 7 00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:25,475 Tried that once with his father. 8 00:00:25,643 --> 00:00:28,103 No, hold it like you wanna do something with it. 9 00:00:28,271 --> 00:00:31,148 - Again? - What was I supposed to do? Shoot? 10 00:00:31,315 --> 00:00:34,234 No touching the forbidden fruit until I'm knocked up. 11 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,861 Slept with someone. Not Kash. 12 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,988 - This was like a booty call. - Whatever. 13 00:00:38,156 --> 00:00:41,575 Steve got a text from Candace. Is he dating someone else? 14 00:00:41,743 --> 00:00:43,160 Who the fuck is Candace? 15 00:00:43,327 --> 00:00:45,120 We work together. That's all. 16 00:00:45,288 --> 00:00:47,247 - I'm home. - Little brother! 17 00:00:47,832 --> 00:00:49,166 Hey, you. 18 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,084 Mm. 19 00:02:12,444 --> 00:02:13,944 Okay, but you gotta promise. 20 00:02:14,112 --> 00:02:17,614 Okay, I promise. I won't tell Fiona. Now, whose house is this? 21 00:02:17,782 --> 00:02:19,116 I'm not sure. 22 00:02:20,118 --> 00:02:22,119 What the hell are we doing here? 23 00:02:22,287 --> 00:02:24,455 Trying to find out if Steve's cheating. 24 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:25,748 What? 25 00:02:25,915 --> 00:02:28,625 Tell me that's not a woman's car parked out front. 26 00:02:31,796 --> 00:02:33,630 Fiona is a big girl. 27 00:02:33,798 --> 00:02:36,967 Fiona takes care of everyone, but no one takes care of Fiona. 28 00:02:37,135 --> 00:02:40,971 Is this about Candace? Because Fiona knows about Candace. 29 00:02:41,139 --> 00:02:44,433 She won't do anything. Too proud. So we have to. 30 00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:46,894 You're a sweet kid, Debs. 31 00:02:55,153 --> 00:02:56,361 Hey, bounce, come on 32 00:02:56,529 --> 00:02:59,198 Bounce, come on Bounce, come on, bounce 33 00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:01,075 Everybody, just bounce, come on 34 00:03:01,242 --> 00:03:03,368 Bounce, come on Bounce, come on 35 00:03:03,536 --> 00:03:05,162 Bounce, bounce 36 00:03:05,747 --> 00:03:09,958 I've just got this feeling About to lose control 37 00:03:10,168 --> 00:03:14,129 Did you purposefully order a Sex on the Beach so I'd say it to the gay bartender? 38 00:03:14,297 --> 00:03:16,965 Maybe. Maybe I was hoping you'd actually take me away... 39 00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:18,801 ...so we could have sex on a beach. 40 00:03:18,968 --> 00:03:21,470 I could barely get you overnight in a local hotel. 41 00:03:21,638 --> 00:03:23,472 Well, that was then. This is now. 42 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,517 I just feel like I haven't seen a lot of you lately. 43 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,812 You mean that you'd like to see more of me? 44 00:03:31,356 --> 00:03:34,066 Yes. I guess that's what I'm saying. 45 00:03:38,154 --> 00:03:40,197 Usually by this time in a relationship... 46 00:03:40,365 --> 00:03:44,326 ...guy starts just showing up for booty calls, or wants me to meet his mother. 47 00:03:44,494 --> 00:03:46,787 Either way, I start looking for reasons to walk. 48 00:03:46,955 --> 00:03:49,623 Well, my mom is in Michigan, so you don't have to worry. 49 00:03:49,791 --> 00:03:53,043 I think that's the first time you've ever mentioned your family. 50 00:03:53,211 --> 00:03:54,711 Really? 51 00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:57,589 Not much to say. I mean... 52 00:03:57,757 --> 00:03:59,842 ...they live in Michigan. 53 00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:01,218 The whole state? 54 00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:02,511 No. Near Detroit. 55 00:04:02,679 --> 00:04:06,223 Uh, Dad used to work for GM, so I try to send back what I can to help. 56 00:04:06,391 --> 00:04:09,893 Family business. He builds them. You steal them. 57 00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:11,812 Come on, let's dance. 58 00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:17,025 Come on. 59 00:04:21,239 --> 00:04:23,991 Liam is officially asleep. 60 00:04:24,159 --> 00:04:25,242 That was fast. 61 00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:29,163 Yeah, well, three pages from Deb's Eat Pray Love and he's out. 62 00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:32,416 If James Franco wasn't in the movie, I would've nodded off too. 63 00:04:34,669 --> 00:04:38,255 You got any cash you can float me? Florence and the Machine are playing... 64 00:04:38,423 --> 00:04:41,341 ...the Chicago Theatre. I wanna take Karen for her birthday. 65 00:04:41,509 --> 00:04:44,428 Pricey gift. Things getting serious? 66 00:04:44,596 --> 00:04:47,389 Fuck off. She's my best friend. 67 00:04:47,557 --> 00:04:51,143 Okay? You know I never spend that kind of cash on a girl anyway. 68 00:04:51,603 --> 00:04:54,563 All right. Well, I got a Hamilton. It's yours. 69 00:04:54,731 --> 00:04:56,023 Thanks, man. 70 00:04:58,401 --> 00:05:00,110 One, two, three. 71 00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:04,823 God bless Jonah, my sweet baby boy. 72 00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,575 And God bless my husband, Clyde. 73 00:05:06,743 --> 00:05:10,412 May those caring for him remind him to take his blood-pressure supplement... 74 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:12,873 ...and his glucosamine chondroitin supplement... 75 00:05:13,041 --> 00:05:16,126 ...so that he can bend down to pick up our child. 76 00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:19,087 God bless the other wives who are on their knees now... 77 00:05:19,255 --> 00:05:23,008 ...asking you to bless me. - Separated from her kid. Gotta suck. 78 00:05:23,176 --> 00:05:26,011 Hopefully, the visit with him tomorrow will cheer her up. 79 00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:29,598 I'm kind of excited about it. Having a full house. Two kids. 80 00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:33,727 Don't get too excited. It's only temporary. 81 00:05:34,312 --> 00:05:35,354 Temporary, Kevin. 82 00:05:35,521 --> 00:05:36,605 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm-hm. 83 00:05:36,773 --> 00:05:39,274 Are you gonna put those in my ass? I'm not even gonna feel it. 84 00:05:39,442 --> 00:05:41,818 They're earplugs, babe. And they're for her. 85 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,906 That would have sucked, trying to fish those out. 86 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,759 Hey. 87 00:06:05,927 --> 00:06:09,012 Wakey, wakey, Jackie Chan. 88 00:06:14,811 --> 00:06:17,020 Who the fuck are you? 89 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,273 I'm Frank. 90 00:06:21,109 --> 00:06:23,026 Oh, my God. 91 00:06:23,194 --> 00:06:24,778 Did we? 92 00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:30,784 Oh, now, now. 93 00:06:33,121 --> 00:06:35,205 Chins up. 94 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:50,971 Fuck off. 95 00:06:51,139 --> 00:06:53,307 How'd you know it was me? 96 00:06:53,474 --> 00:06:57,644 I was talking to my Promise Makers group and I want you to know... 97 00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:03,608 ...that I understand that so much of your bad behavior is my responsibility. 98 00:07:04,235 --> 00:07:07,321 If you leave a dog in the house alone for more than eight hours... 99 00:07:07,488 --> 00:07:10,407 ...you can't get mad at him for peeing the rug, right? 100 00:07:12,035 --> 00:07:15,579 I found this in an album in the basement. 101 00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:19,833 I don't know. 102 00:07:20,585 --> 00:07:26,340 Maybe we can try to capture more moments like these together. 103 00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:41,938 Why is it that I feel like you can't get away from me fast enough? 104 00:07:42,357 --> 00:07:46,068 - Ha-ha-ha! - Because you're paranoid. 105 00:07:46,861 --> 00:07:49,571 What happened to that computer class you were gonna take? 106 00:07:49,739 --> 00:07:52,491 They canceled it. Not enough people, I guess. 107 00:07:52,658 --> 00:07:55,118 Liam's gonna be up. I gotta get him fed and dressed... 108 00:07:55,286 --> 00:07:59,956 ...and to the clinic for some shots. Don't tell Jenny McCarthy. 109 00:08:00,124 --> 00:08:01,208 Hey, Debs. 110 00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:02,584 Steve. 111 00:08:03,503 --> 00:08:05,420 Liam up yet? 112 00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:10,092 Squawking a little. So everything cool with, uh, you and Steve? 113 00:08:10,259 --> 00:08:11,593 What? Why? 114 00:08:11,761 --> 00:08:14,012 No reason. I'm just checking in. 115 00:08:25,566 --> 00:08:29,319 Hi, baby bottoms. Did you have sweet dreams? 116 00:08:29,487 --> 00:08:31,363 I thought I was baby bottoms. 117 00:08:31,531 --> 00:08:34,574 No, I said you have a baby bottom. 118 00:08:34,742 --> 00:08:37,869 I swore I would never date a guy whose ass was smaller than mine. 119 00:08:38,037 --> 00:08:42,374 But I seem to be breaking a lot of my own rules lately, don't I? Don't I? 120 00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,501 He's assuming that was rhetorical. 121 00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:48,588 Hey, you wanna come by tonight after Liam's down? 122 00:08:48,756 --> 00:08:50,841 V gave me a copy of Queen of Outer Space. 123 00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:53,093 Zsa Zsa Gabor at her finest. 124 00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:55,679 We could watch it. And not watch it. 125 00:08:55,847 --> 00:08:58,306 - I gotta go to work. - Okay. 126 00:08:58,474 --> 00:09:01,184 Mm. Ahh. 127 00:09:02,145 --> 00:09:03,437 Hey, Steve. 128 00:09:06,065 --> 00:09:07,274 Debs, breakfast? 129 00:09:07,442 --> 00:09:08,859 I'm good. 130 00:09:11,154 --> 00:09:14,489 - Breakfast! - Hey, can I get a ride to the library? 131 00:09:14,657 --> 00:09:16,324 Motorcycle. No can do. 132 00:09:16,492 --> 00:09:18,702 - When did you get a motorcycle? - Always had one. 133 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,996 I guess there's a lot I don't know about you. 134 00:09:21,164 --> 00:09:25,125 Truth? I'm in the CIA and this is all just a cover. 135 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:32,966 Any calls, Kate? 136 00:09:33,134 --> 00:09:37,804 Yeah, actually, some A-hole was looking for you. Left this number. 137 00:09:37,972 --> 00:09:39,347 Hand me the phone, will you? 138 00:09:39,515 --> 00:09:43,143 Your tab is bigger than my ass and you smell like kimchi and vomit. 139 00:09:43,311 --> 00:09:46,938 Now, stop that. Your ass looks great. 140 00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:49,191 Like you in the sack, make it quick. 141 00:09:49,358 --> 00:09:51,401 I wasn't quick. I was just busy that day. 142 00:09:56,491 --> 00:09:57,532 Hello. 143 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:00,327 Yes. I have Frank Gallagher calling. 144 00:10:00,495 --> 00:10:02,913 Hey, Frankie. Got great news. 145 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,040 Who the fuck is this? 146 00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:06,708 Your settlement is in. 147 00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,627 Yeah. Which one? 148 00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:10,712 Yeah. Come see me. I'll give you the 411. 149 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:16,384 Hey, everybody, next round's on me. 150 00:10:20,598 --> 00:10:23,391 Kev. Veronica. 151 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,727 Didn't you just clean that yesterday? 152 00:10:25,895 --> 00:10:29,356 Child Protective Services is bringing my baby, Jonah, for a visit. 153 00:10:29,524 --> 00:10:32,317 Everything has to be just so. 154 00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:34,819 You're so lucky you have a baby. 155 00:10:34,987 --> 00:10:36,321 How old are you? 156 00:10:36,489 --> 00:10:38,448 Ten and a quarter. 157 00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:41,284 Two more years and you'll be old enough to start trying. 158 00:10:43,246 --> 00:10:44,454 Does it hurt? 159 00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,790 Sexual relations or childbirth? 160 00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:47,958 Both. 161 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,793 Yes. 162 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:53,088 He's such a douche bag. 163 00:10:53,256 --> 00:10:55,715 He's on this whole father-daughter purity-ball kick. 164 00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:57,968 Fuck! 165 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,637 He wants me to take a vow of celibacy... 166 00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:03,515 ...so we can rekindle our father-daughter relationship. 167 00:11:03,683 --> 00:11:06,226 Maybe we could not talk about your father right now. 168 00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:08,228 Not what you had in mind for dirty talk? 169 00:11:08,396 --> 00:11:09,980 Not exactly, no. Unh! 170 00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:13,149 Fuck! 171 00:11:14,569 --> 00:11:15,986 Oh, shit! 172 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,487 Shh! Carl's right outside. Shh! 173 00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:20,156 - Oh, fuck! Fuck! - Fuck. 174 00:11:20,324 --> 00:11:22,158 Oh, shit! Oh! 175 00:11:22,326 --> 00:11:25,912 - Shh! Shit! - Keep going! 176 00:11:31,502 --> 00:11:34,254 Yes. Shatterproof, my ass. 177 00:11:44,682 --> 00:11:48,518 Wanna go to the planetarium tonight and get high? 178 00:11:48,686 --> 00:11:50,520 I can't. I'm busy. 179 00:11:50,688 --> 00:11:54,357 - Doing what? Danielle? - Less you know, the better. 180 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:57,986 Are we still on for Friday night? 181 00:11:58,154 --> 00:11:59,571 Yeah. 182 00:12:00,448 --> 00:12:02,532 Can you give me a hint? 183 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:05,368 Yeah, but not gonna. 184 00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:12,959 Aha. 185 00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:15,378 Crucial Confrontations. 186 00:12:16,714 --> 00:12:18,340 Haven't seen you here in a while. 187 00:12:18,507 --> 00:12:20,216 Been kind of busy, Simon. 188 00:12:20,384 --> 00:12:22,677 I got a signed first edition of Harry Potter. 189 00:12:22,845 --> 00:12:25,347 Overrated. Made a better movie than a book. 190 00:12:25,514 --> 00:12:27,682 And now with all those kid actors grown up... 191 00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:30,477 ...they're scarier looking than the villains. 192 00:12:31,771 --> 00:12:33,563 Hey, can you help me on the computers? 193 00:12:34,106 --> 00:12:35,148 What do you wanna do? 194 00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:36,733 Dig up some dirt. 195 00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:38,151 Name? 196 00:12:38,319 --> 00:12:41,363 Steve. Wilson? Wilton? 197 00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:44,199 You need to know what the name is before you can look it up. 198 00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:47,035 Try "Wilton." In Lake Forest. 199 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,501 There are zero in Illinois, but there are 15 of them nationwide. 200 00:12:54,669 --> 00:12:56,336 - Can you do it backwards? - "Notliw"? 201 00:12:56,504 --> 00:12:59,839 No, I mean, if I give you an address, can you work from there? 202 00:13:00,591 --> 00:13:05,595 Hey, um, maybe sometime we could just casually hang out. 203 00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:08,098 Fine. Fine, yes. We can casually hang out. 204 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,600 1055 North Ave. 205 00:13:11,394 --> 00:13:15,814 Says the property owners are Lloyd and Candace Lishman. 206 00:13:16,023 --> 00:13:17,899 Hello, Ms. D-Lish. 207 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:21,236 - Cool. Then we can hang out sometime? - We just did. 208 00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:33,998 She opened an ING Direct savings account. 209 00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:37,544 Hasn't kept any large bills in there for months. Believe me, I've looked. 210 00:13:37,712 --> 00:13:40,505 - You know where she is? - No idea. How much you need? 211 00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:42,841 - Gotta buy concert tickets. - Yikes. 212 00:13:43,008 --> 00:13:46,428 Wish I had it. Maybe you should take Mrs. Niedereiter up on her offer. 213 00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:52,183 Well, that should do it, Mrs. Niedereiter. 214 00:13:55,521 --> 00:13:57,605 There are a lot of dark corners around my house... 215 00:13:57,773 --> 00:14:00,567 ...that could use some attention, Phillip. 216 00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:06,823 - Thanks for the idea. - You're not seriously gonna do it? 217 00:14:06,991 --> 00:14:08,825 - Mommy. - No. 218 00:14:08,993 --> 00:14:10,952 But I could smash her birdhouse again. 219 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,414 Hey... 220 00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:16,833 ...what do you think of Steve? 221 00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,669 Ass is kind of small. Not really my type. 222 00:14:21,547 --> 00:14:24,007 You about to retreat and count your wounded? 223 00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:26,176 No, just... 224 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,344 I just wanna know if I should trust him. 225 00:14:28,512 --> 00:14:31,723 That's like asking if you should believe in God. 226 00:14:35,311 --> 00:14:36,352 Just be yourself. 227 00:14:36,854 --> 00:14:39,355 Okay. Okay. 228 00:14:39,523 --> 00:14:41,775 Here we go. 229 00:14:44,111 --> 00:14:45,570 Hi. Come in. 230 00:14:45,738 --> 00:14:49,949 Jonah, baby! Mama missed you so much. 231 00:14:52,036 --> 00:14:54,746 Hi, baby. Hi. 232 00:14:55,706 --> 00:14:57,290 Good afternoon. 233 00:14:57,458 --> 00:14:58,500 - I'm Kev. Mm-hm. 234 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:00,794 This is my wife, Veronica. 235 00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:03,671 Hello. Good afternoon. 236 00:15:03,839 --> 00:15:07,509 How you doing? I'm Andréa Johnson from DCFS... 237 00:15:07,676 --> 00:15:09,636 ...and I'm here to observe the home visit today. 238 00:15:09,804 --> 00:15:13,681 So if everything go good, then baby Jonah may stay overnight. 239 00:15:13,849 --> 00:15:15,892 Is your voice dressed up for Halloween? 240 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,685 Excuse me? 241 00:15:17,853 --> 00:15:19,896 Think we don't know how to, ha-ha-ha, raise a child? 242 00:15:20,064 --> 00:15:23,066 Come tell me I don't know how to be a mother? 243 00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:25,318 Uh, you got it wrong, sister girl. 244 00:15:25,486 --> 00:15:28,404 I'm here to see how Ethel mothers, not you. 245 00:15:28,572 --> 00:15:30,573 What do you mean? Oh, please. Have a seat. 246 00:15:30,741 --> 00:15:34,702 That girl is only 13 years old, but she's still got her parental rights. 247 00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:37,914 I need to make sure the child can handle the child. You feel me? 248 00:15:38,082 --> 00:15:40,959 Mm-hm. - Yeah. I feel you. 249 00:15:42,545 --> 00:15:46,214 Oh, baby Jonah. Look at you. 250 00:15:46,382 --> 00:15:48,466 You're hung like a little bear, aren't you? 251 00:15:50,052 --> 00:15:51,511 Hey, Andrea? 252 00:15:51,679 --> 00:15:52,720 - Andréa. - Andréa. 253 00:15:52,888 --> 00:15:56,975 You think we could apply to get baby Jonah as a foster kid too? 254 00:15:57,184 --> 00:15:59,269 That's gonna be a crap load of paperwork... 255 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:02,897 ...but we do encourage keeping family members together. 256 00:16:03,065 --> 00:16:04,399 Yay! 257 00:16:11,407 --> 00:16:13,032 All right, then. 258 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,452 Uh, Eddie's just down in the basement. He'll be right up. 259 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:20,331 And, of course, you will all get your shoes back when you go, so don't worry. 260 00:16:20,499 --> 00:16:22,959 It'd be great if mine came back shined. 261 00:16:25,963 --> 00:16:28,339 That would be great. 262 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,094 But at last came a knock 263 00:16:33,262 --> 00:16:37,473 And I thought of the door With no lock to lock. 264 00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:41,644 Robert Frost. I was a poetry major in college. 265 00:16:43,147 --> 00:16:45,690 - If you'll open your Bibles to Psalms... - Oh, sweetie. 266 00:16:45,858 --> 00:16:49,485 - 127 verses three to five. - Okay. Um... 267 00:16:49,653 --> 00:16:51,821 "Children are a heritage of the Lord..." 268 00:16:51,989 --> 00:16:53,990 You guys? Okay. 269 00:16:54,158 --> 00:16:55,783 Oh, sweetie. 270 00:16:56,952 --> 00:16:58,703 Oh! 271 00:16:58,871 --> 00:17:00,997 Oh, you are ripe. 272 00:17:01,165 --> 00:17:04,417 Nothing a little Puerto Rican bath can't fix. 273 00:17:04,585 --> 00:17:06,794 Honey. Where were you last night? 274 00:17:06,962 --> 00:17:09,172 I had to spend the night with the kids. 275 00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:11,507 - They needed a little Frankie time. - Oh. 276 00:17:11,675 --> 00:17:14,802 You're such a good dad. Ha-ha-ha. 277 00:17:14,970 --> 00:17:16,095 Oh! Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 278 00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:19,182 Sorry, folks, I had a little plumbing issue. 279 00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:20,934 The house is not mine. 280 00:18:00,265 --> 00:18:02,850 - Lou? - Frankie boy. How's it hanging? 281 00:18:03,018 --> 00:18:05,019 Still from the left. Where the hell are you? 282 00:18:05,187 --> 00:18:07,647 Jesus, it's hard to take a piss with this thing on. 283 00:18:07,815 --> 00:18:10,066 That's a lie. It was the wiping that was tough. 284 00:18:10,234 --> 00:18:12,235 This from the escalator thing at the mall? 285 00:18:12,403 --> 00:18:15,989 No, no, no. This is the train doors closing on your ankle. 286 00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:19,242 - Right. I haven't been the same since. - Yeah. 287 00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:24,455 All I need is your signature and Monica's, and the money is all yours. 288 00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:27,500 With the exception of a third of it. It goes to me. 289 00:18:27,668 --> 00:18:29,502 Plus expenses. 290 00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:31,379 Sounds fair. 291 00:18:31,547 --> 00:18:33,214 Me. 292 00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:34,799 And Monica. 293 00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:39,762 Yay. That was a hell of a warm-up. Unfortunately, those aren't the originals. 294 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:43,558 You two will have to go down to the city legal offices and do it in person. 295 00:18:43,726 --> 00:18:47,145 What? I'm supposed to take off work to go do this? 296 00:18:47,312 --> 00:18:49,647 Of course not, because, as you know... 297 00:18:49,815 --> 00:18:52,275 ...this injury's prevented you from working, remember? 298 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:53,901 Oh, shit. 299 00:18:55,738 --> 00:18:56,946 Hey, look at that. 300 00:18:57,114 --> 00:18:59,198 Client just went into labor. 301 00:18:59,658 --> 00:19:02,118 Is that gonna be a problem? Getting Monica to sign? 302 00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:03,953 No. Why would it be a problem? 303 00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:07,832 Well, if memory serves, she was a summa cum laude cunt. 304 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,293 Yeah, well, she was a lot of things. 305 00:19:10,461 --> 00:19:11,753 You even know where she is? 306 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,381 - I have a phone number. I'll make it happen. - Uh-huh. I hope so. 307 00:19:15,549 --> 00:19:18,217 She's a joint claimant on this thing. No Monica, no money. 308 00:19:18,385 --> 00:19:20,595 Do me a favor. Feed the dogs before you go? 309 00:19:20,763 --> 00:19:23,306 Bag of dog food in my desk drawer. Thanks, buddy. 310 00:19:23,474 --> 00:19:25,266 Yeah. 311 00:19:35,069 --> 00:19:36,402 Mm! 312 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:39,072 All right. Come on. 313 00:19:39,239 --> 00:19:40,490 Get off of her. 314 00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:44,911 Hey, man. It's Lip. I'm calling you from a phone booth. 315 00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:48,998 Just hit me back at whatever number comes up on your cell. It's important. 316 00:19:57,424 --> 00:19:59,967 Thanks for taking long enough to let me enjoy the scent of urine. 317 00:20:00,135 --> 00:20:02,261 I didn't know phone booths existed anymore. 318 00:20:02,429 --> 00:20:03,846 What's up? Sounded urgent. 319 00:20:04,014 --> 00:20:07,683 Yeah. I was just wondering. You, uh...? 320 00:20:07,851 --> 00:20:12,438 - You think you can loan me a couple bills? - I can pay you for a job. 321 00:20:12,606 --> 00:20:15,066 - You got a driver's license? - Few of them, yeah. 322 00:20:15,234 --> 00:20:17,902 All right. Meet me by the EL at 11. 323 00:20:23,408 --> 00:20:25,409 Are you screwing my sister's boyfriend? 324 00:20:27,037 --> 00:20:30,123 If you're selling cookies, that's a hell of an opening line. 325 00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:32,667 Do come in. 326 00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:42,635 Can I get you something? 327 00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:44,971 Milk? Soda? 328 00:20:45,848 --> 00:20:48,474 A joint? It's medicinal. 329 00:20:48,642 --> 00:20:51,018 No, thank you, Mrs. Lishman. 330 00:20:51,186 --> 00:20:52,979 How do you know Steve? 331 00:20:53,147 --> 00:20:55,356 Who is Steve? 332 00:20:55,941 --> 00:20:57,775 He's my sister's boyfriend. 333 00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,361 How nice. 334 00:21:01,697 --> 00:21:02,905 So he's not pushing it into you? 335 00:21:05,909 --> 00:21:09,412 Hey, Mom, me and Chip are gonna swing by the hospital to see Dad... 336 00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:11,372 ...so you can relax tonight. - Oh! 337 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,875 - Okay? - Thank you, Jimmy. 338 00:21:14,042 --> 00:21:16,294 You take such good care of your Mama Bear. 339 00:21:16,461 --> 00:21:18,129 Mwah! 340 00:21:19,631 --> 00:21:22,717 - Oh! Uh, this is, oh... - Debbie. 341 00:21:22,885 --> 00:21:23,926 Debbie Gallagher. 342 00:21:24,887 --> 00:21:27,722 Nice to meet you. Jimmy. 343 00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:30,224 Jimmy is my youngest. 344 00:21:30,642 --> 00:21:35,021 Top of his class at Michigan in med school. 345 00:21:35,606 --> 00:21:38,649 He is going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon... 346 00:21:38,817 --> 00:21:42,069 ...like his big brother and his daddy. 347 00:21:42,237 --> 00:21:44,238 He has been taking such good care of me... 348 00:21:44,406 --> 00:21:47,658 ...since his father went into the hospital. 349 00:21:47,826 --> 00:21:48,951 A fender bender. 350 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:50,870 Broke his knee cap. 351 00:21:51,038 --> 00:21:54,457 And you know, doctors make the worst patients. 352 00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:57,877 Would you like to stay for dinner, sweetheart? 353 00:21:58,045 --> 00:22:01,005 Oh, shit. I liked her. 354 00:22:04,885 --> 00:22:08,137 Hello? Hello? 355 00:22:08,305 --> 00:22:10,389 Shit! Shit! 356 00:22:10,557 --> 00:22:12,183 Shit, shit, shit! 357 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,894 Frank? 358 00:22:17,189 --> 00:22:22,235 Frank, I certainly hope you're not pooping in there. It's a closet. 359 00:22:23,153 --> 00:22:24,737 Frank? 360 00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:31,577 You didn't poop in there, did you? 361 00:22:31,745 --> 00:22:35,248 - I was waiting to surprise you. - Oh. 362 00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:37,625 - Surprise! - Aah! 363 00:22:39,419 --> 00:22:41,671 You got me! 364 00:22:42,464 --> 00:22:44,048 Oh, Frankie. 365 00:22:44,216 --> 00:22:45,549 Hey, do me a favor. 366 00:22:46,176 --> 00:22:50,846 Call this number and ask if Monica is there. 367 00:22:51,014 --> 00:22:53,849 And if she is, tell her... 368 00:22:54,184 --> 00:22:56,519 ...congratulations, she's won. 369 00:22:56,687 --> 00:22:58,604 Who's Monica? 370 00:22:59,064 --> 00:23:01,482 - Doesn't matter. - What'd she win? 371 00:23:01,692 --> 00:23:05,987 Uh, I don't know, whatever. A lottery. Something. 372 00:23:06,154 --> 00:23:08,072 - Lottery? - A prize. 373 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,615 A teddy bear. 374 00:23:11,034 --> 00:23:12,076 What for? 375 00:23:12,244 --> 00:23:15,121 Jesus, with the questions already. 376 00:23:15,289 --> 00:23:18,666 Just call. Say it's a teddy bear. And a hundred bucks. 377 00:23:18,834 --> 00:23:22,378 And she has to pick it up. Just say that. 378 00:23:23,505 --> 00:23:25,047 Well... 379 00:23:25,549 --> 00:23:27,591 ...I hope this Monica... 380 00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:30,011 ...whoever she is... 381 00:23:30,178 --> 00:23:34,849 ...worked really hard for this prize. 382 00:23:37,185 --> 00:23:39,145 - Sheils. - I didn't get a teddy bear. 383 00:23:39,313 --> 00:23:42,940 Sheil. Shit. 384 00:23:47,696 --> 00:23:52,908 Hey. 385 00:23:53,076 --> 00:23:55,786 Come on. 386 00:23:58,999 --> 00:24:03,127 She didn't really win a teddy bear. 387 00:24:03,295 --> 00:24:05,171 But you wanna know what? 388 00:24:05,339 --> 00:24:07,548 If I was giving away teddy bears... 389 00:24:07,716 --> 00:24:12,511 ...you would be absolutely top of the list. 390 00:24:30,947 --> 00:24:34,617 If you will do this for me... 391 00:24:34,785 --> 00:24:37,620 ...I will dress up any way you want. 392 00:24:39,039 --> 00:24:41,040 No safety word. 393 00:24:43,085 --> 00:24:44,502 Is this Monica? 394 00:24:47,631 --> 00:24:51,801 Well, hello. This is Sheila from Market Promotions. 395 00:24:51,968 --> 00:24:56,222 Can I ask you where you do all of your grocery shopping? 396 00:24:57,516 --> 00:24:59,725 Well, yes. That's right. 397 00:24:59,893 --> 00:25:04,105 You've won. First prize. Congratulations. 398 00:25:04,523 --> 00:25:06,899 It's $100. 399 00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:08,150 - And a teddy bear. - Yes. 400 00:25:08,318 --> 00:25:10,027 - And... What? - Teddy bear. 401 00:25:10,195 --> 00:25:12,071 - Teddy bear. - And a teddy bear! 402 00:25:12,239 --> 00:25:15,658 And a great big teddy bear. 403 00:25:17,411 --> 00:25:18,452 Hello? 404 00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:20,663 - What? - Yeah. 405 00:25:20,831 --> 00:25:24,208 - She's crying. - Oh, fuck. 406 00:25:24,376 --> 00:25:27,044 Yeah. No, I've never won anything either. 407 00:25:27,212 --> 00:25:28,379 No one cares. 408 00:25:28,547 --> 00:25:32,258 - It's so great. Yeah. I'm thrilled. - Zip it. 409 00:25:32,426 --> 00:25:33,801 I'm thrilled for you. 410 00:25:33,969 --> 00:25:35,177 Get to the fucking point. 411 00:25:35,345 --> 00:25:39,974 Anyway, prizes will be given out at 3:00. 412 00:25:40,559 --> 00:25:42,768 At the store. 413 00:25:43,395 --> 00:25:44,520 Yes. 414 00:25:45,147 --> 00:25:48,649 WGN's own Tom Skilling will be presenting. 415 00:25:48,817 --> 00:25:50,443 What? What? 416 00:25:52,112 --> 00:25:53,571 She doesn't know Tom Skilling. 417 00:25:53,738 --> 00:25:56,073 - I don't know Tom Skilling. - He does the weather. 418 00:25:56,241 --> 00:25:59,118 Tom Skilling does the weather on WGN. 419 00:25:59,286 --> 00:26:01,704 Anyway, 3:00 on the dot. 420 00:26:01,872 --> 00:26:04,248 - Jim Ramsey might be there too. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 421 00:26:04,416 --> 00:26:06,375 - He does weekend weather. Okay. - Hang up. 422 00:26:06,543 --> 00:26:08,544 Congratulations. See you there, Monica. 423 00:26:08,712 --> 00:26:10,463 What did she say? Is she coming? 424 00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:14,425 How can you not know who two of Chicago's weathermen are? 425 00:26:14,593 --> 00:26:16,260 What kind of person is this Monica? 426 00:26:16,428 --> 00:26:19,346 Is she coming to get the fucking prize or not? 427 00:26:19,514 --> 00:26:22,016 Yeah. She... Oh, she's going. 428 00:26:22,184 --> 00:26:25,311 She's excited about that teddy bear. 429 00:26:36,573 --> 00:26:42,244 You know, not sure I can prove it, but I think it's colder on the North Side. 430 00:26:43,455 --> 00:26:45,748 Let me take you home, Debs. 431 00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:48,417 I'm not supposed to take rides from strangers... 432 00:26:48,585 --> 00:26:50,961 ...and it's clear that you are a stranger. 433 00:26:51,588 --> 00:26:53,547 Oh, man. 434 00:26:53,965 --> 00:26:55,841 Are you gonna tell Fiona? 435 00:26:56,009 --> 00:26:58,427 Exactly what am I supposed to tell her? 436 00:26:59,012 --> 00:27:00,971 That your name isn't Steve? 437 00:27:01,139 --> 00:27:03,849 That you have a family in Chicago she's never met? 438 00:27:04,059 --> 00:27:07,353 Or that your mom kisses you on the lips? Which is really gross. 439 00:27:07,521 --> 00:27:09,897 Life gets really complicated when you're an adult. 440 00:27:10,065 --> 00:27:14,109 I mean, you can't possibly understand these things right now. 441 00:27:15,862 --> 00:27:19,907 I understand that you lied to my sister. Why? 442 00:27:20,075 --> 00:27:23,118 Because I was raised by a pack of wolves. 443 00:27:23,703 --> 00:27:26,830 Just like you were. Only my wolves went to Harvard. 444 00:27:26,998 --> 00:27:28,999 They have red wolves at Lincoln Park Zoo. 445 00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:31,752 Maybe we could go check them out sometime. 446 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,630 Trying to distract me by asking me out on a date? 447 00:27:34,798 --> 00:27:38,425 I do not wanna be a doctor. I do not wanna be like the rest of my family. 448 00:27:38,593 --> 00:27:42,721 What I want is Fiona. I love her. 449 00:27:44,349 --> 00:27:47,685 Love is fleeting, Jimmy. What are your intentions? 450 00:27:47,852 --> 00:27:51,814 You're distracting her, and I need her in the game for at least a few more years. 451 00:27:52,566 --> 00:27:56,068 I can't have you breaking her heart or running off with her. 452 00:27:56,236 --> 00:28:00,197 So if you're not serious about sticking around, back off now. 453 00:28:01,116 --> 00:28:04,910 I bought her a house. Is that serious enough? 454 00:28:05,078 --> 00:28:06,495 You what? 455 00:28:07,706 --> 00:28:09,623 Come on. I'll show you. 456 00:28:22,345 --> 00:28:23,470 - Really? - Yeah. 457 00:28:23,638 --> 00:28:25,055 Yes! Yes! 458 00:28:25,223 --> 00:28:26,682 This was Mr. Harris' house. 459 00:28:26,850 --> 00:28:30,519 They said he died of lung cancer, but we're pretty sure it was full-blown AIDS. 460 00:28:33,690 --> 00:28:36,859 Oh, my God! 461 00:28:37,027 --> 00:28:39,820 - Has Fiona seen it? - No, she doesn't know about it yet. 462 00:28:39,988 --> 00:28:43,282 I was gonna fix it up a bit and surprise her when the time is right. 463 00:28:45,035 --> 00:28:47,161 Think we could build an aboveground walkway... 464 00:28:47,329 --> 00:28:48,871 ...that connects the two houses? 465 00:28:49,039 --> 00:28:50,331 What, like a Habitrail tube? 466 00:28:50,999 --> 00:28:53,042 That would be awesome. 467 00:28:54,085 --> 00:28:55,794 Are you gonna tell Fiona? 468 00:28:59,674 --> 00:29:01,467 Don't know yet, Jimmy. 469 00:29:01,635 --> 00:29:04,136 Saw a really cool pink vest at the mall. 470 00:29:04,304 --> 00:29:05,679 Really? 471 00:29:05,847 --> 00:29:08,349 And I could use a new rolling pin and flour sifter. 472 00:29:08,516 --> 00:29:10,809 Sheila's teaching me how to bake. 473 00:29:11,436 --> 00:29:12,519 Anything else? 474 00:29:15,190 --> 00:29:16,649 Not for the moment. 475 00:29:16,816 --> 00:29:20,653 So which room would be mine when I sleep over? 476 00:29:31,915 --> 00:29:35,042 Not going out with that Gallagher degenerate tonight? 477 00:29:36,419 --> 00:29:39,797 Good. You deserve better. 478 00:29:39,964 --> 00:29:42,675 I've been reading more about this purity-ball thing. 479 00:29:42,842 --> 00:29:45,928 It says here you can rededicate yourself as a virgin. 480 00:29:46,096 --> 00:29:48,430 Start over. Isn't that nice? 481 00:29:52,686 --> 00:29:55,604 I mean, you show up, you confess your transgressions... 482 00:29:55,772 --> 00:29:59,733 ...and pledge yourself to be pure again in the eyes of the Lord. 483 00:30:02,028 --> 00:30:03,278 I'll give you the damn car. 484 00:30:05,824 --> 00:30:06,865 Really? 485 00:30:18,086 --> 00:30:21,880 Fiona would be pissed if she knew you were into this shit with me. 486 00:30:22,716 --> 00:30:25,718 Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? 487 00:30:26,803 --> 00:30:30,305 All right. Task at hand, you'll be driving the follow car. 488 00:30:30,473 --> 00:30:32,975 Golden rule: Always use a follow car. 489 00:30:33,143 --> 00:30:36,812 - Hey, silver Mercedes. - And a security camera at the intersection. 490 00:30:36,980 --> 00:30:39,690 Why don't we head up to some asshole town like Lake Forest? 491 00:30:39,858 --> 00:30:41,275 - Plenty of douche-mobiles. - No. 492 00:30:41,443 --> 00:30:43,152 - I was thinking... - Listen. No. 493 00:30:43,319 --> 00:30:45,988 Two hundred bucks to follow me after I lift the car. 494 00:30:46,156 --> 00:30:49,366 You get your concert tickets, I get my work done. That's it. Okay? 495 00:30:49,534 --> 00:30:50,617 All right, man. 496 00:30:55,248 --> 00:30:56,915 Shit. 497 00:30:57,083 --> 00:31:02,421 Rule number two: Always remember where you parked the follow car. 498 00:31:15,852 --> 00:31:17,436 Fuck. 499 00:31:33,787 --> 00:31:35,704 Monica. 500 00:31:49,803 --> 00:31:50,844 Monica? 501 00:32:10,824 --> 00:32:12,032 Deb. 502 00:32:12,575 --> 00:32:14,243 Jimmy. 503 00:32:14,869 --> 00:32:17,287 Fiona's next door with Liam. 504 00:32:17,705 --> 00:32:19,414 That my shut-up gift? 505 00:32:19,582 --> 00:32:22,918 Well, I like to think of it as a peace offering. 506 00:32:23,086 --> 00:32:26,338 A peace offering implies a one-time thing. 507 00:32:26,506 --> 00:32:29,258 This could take a while. 508 00:32:29,425 --> 00:32:30,717 How long? 509 00:32:31,469 --> 00:32:34,513 Until I'm sure that you're not still lying. 510 00:32:35,515 --> 00:32:36,598 Okay. 511 00:32:36,766 --> 00:32:39,935 I gotta get back up to Lake Forest. They're releasing my dad. 512 00:32:40,103 --> 00:32:44,106 I'm gonna take him home. You know everything there is to know. 513 00:32:44,274 --> 00:32:48,151 No more secrets. I promise. 514 00:32:49,779 --> 00:32:52,239 Sifter sifts and rolling pin rolls. 515 00:32:53,032 --> 00:32:55,284 Nice when things do what they say they will. 516 00:33:02,792 --> 00:33:04,877 - Jimmy. - Steve. 517 00:33:05,044 --> 00:33:07,212 - Is this your idea of a joke? - No, ma'am. 518 00:33:07,380 --> 00:33:09,756 Because you're scared of women with an opinion. 519 00:33:09,924 --> 00:33:11,008 - No. - Yeah? 520 00:33:11,175 --> 00:33:14,803 Yeah? Watch this, crinkle-dick. Oh, yeah, I'll show you what's funny... 521 00:33:14,971 --> 00:33:17,931 ...when I rip your fucking face off your fucking head! 522 00:33:18,099 --> 00:33:21,143 - Bob. Bob. No. No. No. - Out of the way, Monica. 523 00:33:21,311 --> 00:33:23,270 - Get out of my way! Out of the way, now. 524 00:33:23,438 --> 00:33:26,064 Put the shovel down. Let's just leave. 525 00:33:26,232 --> 00:33:28,859 - Just go. - I'm sorry. 526 00:33:29,027 --> 00:33:30,861 Who lies about a teddy bear? 527 00:33:31,487 --> 00:33:34,406 Wasting my fucking time! Are you sure this is the right store? 528 00:33:34,574 --> 00:33:36,658 - Yes! - Did they specifically say this store? 529 00:33:36,826 --> 00:33:40,829 Yes! I told you. Yes. I wrote it down. I wrote everything down. 530 00:33:40,997 --> 00:33:43,999 Stop talking to me like I'm stupid. 531 00:33:51,716 --> 00:33:54,092 Frank? 532 00:33:55,845 --> 00:33:58,013 - Frank! - What? 533 00:33:58,181 --> 00:34:00,599 Frank! 534 00:34:04,854 --> 00:34:06,229 Start the car! 535 00:34:06,397 --> 00:34:07,940 What? 536 00:34:08,316 --> 00:34:10,692 - Go, go, go! - What the fuck, Frank? 537 00:34:10,860 --> 00:34:12,653 - She saw me. - What's going on? 538 00:34:14,322 --> 00:34:16,490 Come on! We gotta get out of here! Go! 539 00:34:24,374 --> 00:34:26,792 I'm gonna rip it off when I catch you! 540 00:34:29,462 --> 00:34:32,714 - Can't this piece of shit go any faster? - No! 541 00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:35,550 Monica's batting for the other team. 542 00:34:35,718 --> 00:34:37,511 - What? - My wife's a lesbian. 543 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:38,845 Shit! 544 00:34:52,068 --> 00:34:54,194 - No. No. No. - Shut up, Frank. 545 00:34:54,362 --> 00:34:55,988 No. No. 546 00:35:02,495 --> 00:35:04,871 Fuck off, lesbos! 547 00:35:06,416 --> 00:35:11,586 Okay. My advice to you would be to let Fiona live in her own relationship. 548 00:35:11,754 --> 00:35:13,797 You can't do it for her. 549 00:35:13,965 --> 00:35:15,507 There's things she should know. 550 00:35:15,675 --> 00:35:19,177 Well, sometimes, sweetie, when people are in love... 551 00:35:19,345 --> 00:35:22,806 ...they don't tell someone everything for a reason. 552 00:35:22,974 --> 00:35:24,516 That's like lying. 553 00:35:24,684 --> 00:35:29,771 No, sweetie, it's just... It's a little editing. 554 00:35:29,939 --> 00:35:36,403 Now, by sifting, see, we separate and aerate those flour particles... 555 00:35:36,571 --> 00:35:39,740 ...to make them absorb liquids better. 556 00:35:39,907 --> 00:35:42,367 Someone should sift my dad. 557 00:35:42,535 --> 00:35:46,329 Ha, ha. You Gallaghers. You're all so funny. 558 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,751 - Frank! This is bullshit! - Lock the door! Lock the door! 559 00:35:50,918 --> 00:35:53,420 What is happening?! 560 00:35:53,588 --> 00:35:55,380 - It's okay. - I thought we lost them. 561 00:35:55,548 --> 00:35:57,591 Did you even have a plan back there? 562 00:35:57,759 --> 00:36:01,636 I was going to charm her into signing once she was there. 563 00:36:01,804 --> 00:36:03,972 How was I supposed to know she would show up... 564 00:36:04,140 --> 00:36:07,100 ...with ghetto Godzilla in a Peterbilt? 565 00:36:07,268 --> 00:36:10,437 I am seriously this close to punching you in the dick. 566 00:36:23,034 --> 00:36:25,160 Get... They're just girls. 567 00:36:25,328 --> 00:36:27,454 Stop. You talk to them. 568 00:36:27,622 --> 00:36:29,998 I need the key to the back door. 569 00:36:30,166 --> 00:36:32,918 That is not a sexual euphemism. I need the fucking key. 570 00:36:33,086 --> 00:36:34,461 What did you do with it? 571 00:36:34,629 --> 00:36:36,630 I don't know. I can't think when you yell! 572 00:36:36,798 --> 00:36:38,590 I'm not! What did you do with the key? 573 00:36:38,758 --> 00:36:41,718 - You're still yelling. - I need the key, Sheila! 574 00:36:41,886 --> 00:36:45,138 Okay. It's by the... It's by the... It's by the washing machine. 575 00:36:45,306 --> 00:36:47,474 - It's not by the washing machine. - It is. 576 00:36:47,642 --> 00:36:50,936 - I put it by the washing machine. - It's not by... 577 00:36:51,104 --> 00:36:52,562 Mom. 578 00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:57,526 It's Mom. 579 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,161 Debbie. 580 00:37:09,872 --> 00:37:12,999 My sweet pea. 581 00:37:29,058 --> 00:37:32,561 What the fuck are you looking at? 582 00:37:36,816 --> 00:37:38,483 - I got nothing to do with it. - Sit. 583 00:37:38,651 --> 00:37:41,111 - I'm just the driver. - Sit your ass down. 584 00:37:48,202 --> 00:37:53,331 That was a nasty trick. Even for you, Frank. 585 00:37:53,499 --> 00:37:55,750 I had my heart set on that teddy bear. 586 00:37:55,918 --> 00:37:59,588 Poor Monica. Well, what about your kids? 587 00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:02,090 Remember? The six kids? 588 00:38:02,258 --> 00:38:05,051 Youngest was only 2 months old before you ran off... 589 00:38:05,219 --> 00:38:07,929 ...ended up with fucking Shrek here. 590 00:38:08,097 --> 00:38:12,517 - You want me to step in? - No. I didn't leave you, Frank. 591 00:38:12,685 --> 00:38:13,768 Yes, you did. 592 00:38:13,936 --> 00:38:18,273 I didn't choose to leave my family. You almost destroyed me. 593 00:38:18,441 --> 00:38:20,358 When I turned up at Roberta's that night... 594 00:38:20,526 --> 00:38:22,527 - ...I was an emotional cripple. - Emotional cripple. 595 00:38:22,695 --> 00:38:24,946 - With not one ounce of self-respect. - Bullshit. 596 00:38:25,114 --> 00:38:29,409 - I'm gonna start crying. - You drove me into the ground, Frank. 597 00:38:29,577 --> 00:38:36,041 You robbed me of any sense of dignity I ever had and... 598 00:38:37,168 --> 00:38:38,585 Where's the rest of the kids? 599 00:38:38,753 --> 00:38:42,422 - They're out playing. - They live down at Fiona's. 600 00:38:44,842 --> 00:38:46,801 You mind putting some bags on? 601 00:38:46,969 --> 00:38:49,054 Can you put some bags on your feet, please? 602 00:38:49,222 --> 00:38:52,974 - Bags on my feet? - Yeah, I need you to put bags on. 603 00:39:10,284 --> 00:39:13,328 - Don't, don't, don't. - Hell hath no fury like popcorn burned. 604 00:39:13,496 --> 00:39:14,579 All right. 605 00:39:14,747 --> 00:39:16,456 - Steve coming? - Hope so. 606 00:39:16,624 --> 00:39:19,125 Are you guys gonna make a baby while we watch Cosmos? 607 00:39:19,293 --> 00:39:21,086 Because that's gonna make me throw up. 608 00:39:21,254 --> 00:39:24,589 - Billions and billions of sperm. - Ew! 609 00:39:25,549 --> 00:39:30,470 - Can you please turn it on already? - Yeah, hurry up, I gotta get back to work. 610 00:39:30,638 --> 00:39:31,763 Cool. 611 00:39:31,931 --> 00:39:33,348 Shaped our evolution... 612 00:39:33,516 --> 00:39:34,557 Hey. 613 00:39:34,725 --> 00:39:36,476 - And what our fate may be. 614 00:39:36,644 --> 00:39:38,603 - Missed you, stranger. - You too. 615 00:39:41,190 --> 00:39:42,440 Get a room. 616 00:39:42,608 --> 00:39:44,734 - Get your tickets? - Yeah. Thanks. 617 00:39:45,194 --> 00:39:46,945 Glad I could help. 618 00:39:47,113 --> 00:39:48,363 Glad you're glad. 619 00:39:48,531 --> 00:39:49,656 Steve. 620 00:39:49,824 --> 00:39:51,574 Boy. 621 00:39:51,742 --> 00:39:53,618 This popcorn's burnt. 622 00:39:53,786 --> 00:39:55,328 Our microwave sucks. 623 00:39:55,496 --> 00:39:57,789 It doesn't mean I want you to buy us a new one. 624 00:39:57,957 --> 00:40:00,792 Universes smaller than atoms. 625 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,336 - But it's also a story of our own planet... - Debs? 626 00:40:03,504 --> 00:40:05,130 ...and the plants and animals... 627 00:40:05,298 --> 00:40:08,717 - Honey, what happened? - Dad have one too many again? 628 00:40:09,677 --> 00:40:11,803 You just gotta ignore him when he's like that, Debs. 629 00:40:12,722 --> 00:40:14,723 Why do you always blame Dad first? 630 00:40:14,890 --> 00:40:16,141 Who else is there? 631 00:40:18,394 --> 00:40:19,936 She's over at Sheila's. 632 00:40:20,646 --> 00:40:23,023 - Who? - Monica. 633 00:40:23,190 --> 00:40:26,067 Exquisite interrelationships... 634 00:40:26,235 --> 00:40:28,528 ...of the awesome machinery of nature. 635 00:40:29,447 --> 00:40:31,865 - Who the hell is Monica? - Our mother. 636 00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:34,200 Shore of the cosmic ocean. 637 00:40:34,368 --> 00:40:35,577 On this shore... 638 00:40:35,745 --> 00:40:40,206 - Debs, did you s...? - What do you care? 639 00:40:40,374 --> 00:40:43,960 You'll be living with Steve in that house he bought next door. 640 00:40:50,885 --> 00:40:53,219 Surprise. 641 00:40:53,929 --> 00:40:56,723 Because the cosmos is also within us. 642 00:40:56,891 --> 00:40:58,767 We're made of stars. We are... 643 00:40:58,934 --> 00:41:02,437 - I'm going to work. - Ian, come on. Wait. 644 00:41:05,107 --> 00:41:07,776 Mommy. Mommy. 645 00:41:07,943 --> 00:41:09,486 I know. 646 00:41:09,653 --> 00:41:14,199 Mommy. 647 00:41:32,468 --> 00:41:33,593 What the fuck? 648 00:41:33,761 --> 00:41:36,179 - I need to see you. - Not a good time. 649 00:41:36,347 --> 00:41:40,016 Who keeps hanging their fucking laundry on my pull-up bar? 650 00:41:40,184 --> 00:41:41,935 I don't know where else to go. 651 00:41:43,646 --> 00:41:45,980 I thought you were working today. 652 00:41:46,816 --> 00:41:50,902 Linda's gonna have my ass. I'm supposed to be there now. 653 00:41:51,737 --> 00:41:53,488 I'll meet you there in 20. 654 00:41:57,284 --> 00:41:59,119 - Aw, bullshit! - Yes! 655 00:41:59,286 --> 00:42:02,497 - You physically abused me. - What? When? 656 00:42:02,665 --> 00:42:04,749 - That 4th of July. - Oh, come on! 657 00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:07,710 You hit me in the face with a tray of apple pandowdy. 658 00:42:07,878 --> 00:42:09,462 And you hit me back. 659 00:42:09,630 --> 00:42:12,632 Yeah, after you broke my nose and scratched my cornea. 660 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,300 Oh, yeah? What about this? 661 00:42:14,468 --> 00:42:16,302 Oh, come on! You started that one! 662 00:42:16,470 --> 00:42:18,638 And I'll finish it if you lay a finger on her. 663 00:42:18,806 --> 00:42:21,433 - Roberta. - "Bob." Only Moni calls me Roberta. 664 00:42:22,017 --> 00:42:26,104 All right. Well, Bob, perhaps we're just in the way here. 665 00:42:26,272 --> 00:42:32,068 And we should make our exit and leave Monica for her apologies. 666 00:42:32,236 --> 00:42:35,613 Apologies? For walking out on this piece of shit? 667 00:42:35,781 --> 00:42:38,700 No. For walking out on them. 668 00:42:44,790 --> 00:42:47,167 Oh, my God. 669 00:42:47,710 --> 00:42:51,379 It's all right. I'm not one of yours. Just came to rubberneck. 670 00:43:01,390 --> 00:43:03,141 Ian! I did it! 671 00:43:03,309 --> 00:43:06,561 Linda's pregnant! Ian! 672 00:43:06,729 --> 00:43:08,938 Finally knocked her up! Where are you? I did it! 673 00:43:09,523 --> 00:43:11,024 It's over! 674 00:43:19,074 --> 00:43:21,201 What the fuck? 675 00:43:40,054 --> 00:43:41,554 You're all so big. 676 00:43:41,722 --> 00:43:43,348 Thank you. 677 00:43:44,308 --> 00:43:46,851 I missed you so much. 678 00:43:48,687 --> 00:43:50,396 Why didn't you take us with you? 679 00:43:53,442 --> 00:43:55,818 Because... 680 00:43:55,986 --> 00:43:58,947 ...I knew you'd be fine with Fiona. 681 00:44:26,809 --> 00:44:29,143 Fucking right, you keep your mouth shut. 682 00:44:33,357 --> 00:44:34,774 You better keep it shut. 683 00:44:36,986 --> 00:44:38,111 You hear me? 684 00:44:39,405 --> 00:44:41,739 Put the candy back, Mickey. 685 00:44:45,744 --> 00:44:48,538 Mm. That's sweet. 686 00:44:49,039 --> 00:44:50,957 I like them sweet. 687 00:44:52,001 --> 00:44:57,046 But then, uh, so do you, huh? Ha, ha. 688 00:44:57,214 --> 00:45:01,843 Put it back. Now. 689 00:45:05,848 --> 00:45:07,015 Fuck. 690 00:45:08,434 --> 00:45:11,603 - Kash, what are you doing? - It's a fucking Snickers bar. 691 00:45:12,563 --> 00:45:15,148 - Fuck! - Holy shit! 692 00:45:15,774 --> 00:45:18,985 - Jesus Chr... - Okay. 693 00:45:19,153 --> 00:45:20,486 - You okay? - Fuck. 694 00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:25,158 - Hey. Hey. Listen to me. Look at me. - You fucking suck! 695 00:45:32,374 --> 00:45:34,459 I thought you were at work. 696 00:45:35,794 --> 00:45:37,545 There was a shooting. 697 00:45:37,713 --> 00:45:39,130 Mickey and Kash. 698 00:45:39,548 --> 00:45:41,799 Holy shit. Mickey shot Kash? 699 00:45:41,967 --> 00:45:44,177 - Kash shot Mickey. - What? 700 00:45:44,345 --> 00:45:48,556 In the leg. He's fine. Just wanted to get out of there before the cops got there. 701 00:45:48,724 --> 00:45:50,058 Huh. 702 00:45:50,559 --> 00:45:52,644 What'd I miss with Mom? 703 00:45:52,811 --> 00:45:56,314 Well, you know how Dad's a total fucking asshole? 704 00:45:56,482 --> 00:45:57,607 Yeah. 705 00:45:57,775 --> 00:46:00,151 Turns out he's the good one. 706 00:46:00,319 --> 00:46:03,029 I can't believe you sucked me back in here for money. 707 00:46:03,197 --> 00:46:05,490 I did no such thing! 708 00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:09,577 But since you're in town, why don't you sign up for this little thing... 709 00:46:09,745 --> 00:46:11,996 - ...and I'll cut you in. - Fuck you, Frank! 710 00:46:12,164 --> 00:46:13,748 Wait. You brought her back here? 711 00:46:14,875 --> 00:46:16,042 Oh, Ian. 712 00:46:16,210 --> 00:46:18,753 Wait. You knew where she was the whole time? 713 00:46:18,921 --> 00:46:22,131 This little reunion was bound to happen sooner or later, anyway. 714 00:46:22,299 --> 00:46:24,926 We were thinking about coming around to talk to you. 715 00:46:25,094 --> 00:46:27,470 - No, no. Not now. - Yes, now! Yes, now! 716 00:46:27,638 --> 00:46:29,889 Moni and I wanna take Liam to live with us. 717 00:46:30,057 --> 00:46:31,808 - What? - Over my dead body! 718 00:46:31,975 --> 00:46:35,770 How about Moni sign whatever the hell it is you need, we get Liam? 719 00:46:35,938 --> 00:46:37,563 - Done. - No fucking way! 720 00:46:37,731 --> 00:46:38,981 You can't have Liam. 721 00:46:39,149 --> 00:46:41,442 Why the hell not? He's not even Frank's. 722 00:46:41,610 --> 00:46:43,528 Fact is Liam is black. 723 00:46:43,696 --> 00:46:45,947 All you white folks scooping up black babies... 724 00:46:46,115 --> 00:46:48,991 ...like fashion accessories have a rude awakening coming. 725 00:46:49,159 --> 00:46:53,037 No. There will be a backlash if people don't stop underestimating... 726 00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:57,667 ...the cultural importance of a black parent raising a black baby. 727 00:46:57,835 --> 00:47:00,670 Liam needs me and he's coming with us. 728 00:47:00,838 --> 00:47:02,964 No. Out of the fucking question, Roberta. 729 00:47:03,132 --> 00:47:05,633 Roberta and I wanna start a family of our own. 730 00:47:05,801 --> 00:47:07,802 How about you finish this one first? 731 00:47:07,970 --> 00:47:09,345 - Taking Liam? - Yes! 732 00:47:09,513 --> 00:47:14,600 - No. Nobody's taking anyone anywhere. - You don't get to abandon your kids... 733 00:47:14,768 --> 00:47:17,687 ...and then show up one day to take your pick of the litter. 734 00:47:17,855 --> 00:47:19,897 Oh, now, that's not fair. 735 00:47:20,065 --> 00:47:22,984 Your mother's made mistakes, but she's here now. 736 00:47:23,152 --> 00:47:26,696 - That's got to count for something. - Shut up, Frank! 737 00:47:27,072 --> 00:47:29,157 This isn't about you. 738 00:47:29,783 --> 00:47:31,325 This is about you. 739 00:47:31,493 --> 00:47:33,953 This is about what you didn't do. 740 00:47:34,371 --> 00:47:35,913 It's about what I did. 741 00:47:36,081 --> 00:47:40,501 And you know what? I did a fucking great job. 742 00:47:40,669 --> 00:47:42,378 Debbie is class president. 743 00:47:42,546 --> 00:47:45,506 She's on the debate team going to nationals. 744 00:47:45,674 --> 00:47:48,217 And Lip, he's top of his class. 745 00:47:48,385 --> 00:47:50,011 He set the curve. 746 00:47:50,179 --> 00:47:53,765 Ian was promoted in ROTC and he tested out of English. 747 00:47:53,932 --> 00:47:58,686 And Carl made something blow up for his science fair. And you know what? 748 00:47:58,854 --> 00:48:03,024 They did it all, no thanks to you, because you weren't here. 749 00:48:03,525 --> 00:48:08,488 And I appreciate that, Fiona, but I'm here now... 750 00:48:08,655 --> 00:48:12,492 ...and Liam belongs with me. 751 00:48:12,659 --> 00:48:14,827 - He doesn't even know who you are. - I'm his mother! 752 00:48:14,995 --> 00:48:17,038 You were my mother too! 753 00:48:21,543 --> 00:48:22,960 I don't! I don't know! 754 00:48:23,128 --> 00:48:26,547 Maybe I'll never be able to make things right with you... 755 00:48:28,550 --> 00:48:31,052 ...but there's still time with Liam. 756 00:48:32,262 --> 00:48:34,722 And, Debbie and Carl... 757 00:48:34,890 --> 00:48:37,558 ...I am so sorry if I hurt you. 758 00:48:39,061 --> 00:48:42,522 Please. I love you so much. 759 00:48:42,689 --> 00:48:45,316 Please let me be your mommy again. 760 00:48:45,651 --> 00:48:47,276 Please. 761 00:48:52,908 --> 00:48:54,242 Oh! 762 00:48:58,914 --> 00:49:00,122 You know what? 763 00:49:02,292 --> 00:49:03,751 You're right. 764 00:49:04,753 --> 00:49:06,546 You are their mother. 765 00:49:07,089 --> 00:49:10,550 And you're here now, so I'm done. 766 00:49:10,717 --> 00:49:14,762 I'm done with the school and the bills and the clinics. 767 00:49:14,930 --> 00:49:16,514 I'm done. 768 00:49:17,516 --> 00:49:19,809 They're all yours now, Mom. 769 00:49:20,394 --> 00:49:22,228 Good luck. 770 00:49:28,527 --> 00:49:30,236 It's okay. 771 00:49:57,472 --> 00:49:58,890 Come here. 772 00:50:04,062 --> 00:50:05,688 Show me the house? 773 00:50:05,856 --> 00:50:07,231 Yeah. 58103

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