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1
00:02:59,633 --> 00:03:01,363
You derelicts know what time it is?
2
00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:02,330
What?
3
00:03:02,503 --> 00:03:05,267
It is bug-betting time! All right?!
4
00:03:05,672 --> 00:03:08,505
First bug to get fried wins $2.
I got the green one.
5
00:03:08,675 --> 00:03:10,006
$2 on the June bug.
6
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:19,013
You must actually let go of the
money in order for it to be a bet.
7
00:03:19,186 --> 00:03:22,621
Round and round she goes,
where she stops... Number 2!
8
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:35,288
Any of you shitheads ever get bored?
9
00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:37,801
You ever get bored?
10
00:03:39,371 --> 00:03:41,134
'Cause I got a riddle.
11
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:45,968
Takes about 2 ounces of
brains to figure it out.
12
00:03:46,378 --> 00:03:49,313
Anybody think they got a
brain with 2 ounces of brain?
13
00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:51,540
There's a rumor Earl does.
14
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:56,809
For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little
self-confidence from the gallery.
15
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,649
This ain't long division.
16
00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:01,382
- How much we got to lose?
- Want to liven things up?
17
00:04:01,559 --> 00:04:03,322
That's a hell of an idea!
18
00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:07,663
Everyone puts in 20 bucks.
Pot goes to whoever solves the riddle.
19
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,389
You'll get the riddle.
20
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:13,567
I'm the one asking the riddle.
21
00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:16,501
I already know the answer.
I don't get a guess.
22
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:20,734
Although we could say if I get
to 500 bounces on the wedge...
23
00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:24,072
...and no one gets the
riddle, I get the pot.
24
00:04:24,747 --> 00:04:27,511
Now, I know you're thinking
it's an impossible riddle.
25
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,242
It's not. It's easy.
26
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:32,081
And if somehow, by the
grace of fluke luck...
27
00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:36,350
...I win and y'all don't agree that
it was an easy riddle, then...
28
00:04:37,025 --> 00:04:38,583
...I'll refund your money.
29
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:42,692
I'm in!
30
00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:44,227
Money in the bank.
31
00:04:44,399 --> 00:04:45,195
I'll hold it.
32
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,095
Give it.
33
00:04:46,268 --> 00:04:49,362
A man's driving down
the road with his son.
34
00:04:49,538 --> 00:04:50,765
He gets in a crash.
35
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:52,096
Two ambulances come...
36
00:04:52,274 --> 00:04:55,106
...and they take the man and
his son to different hospitals.
37
00:04:56,043 --> 00:04:57,442
Different hospitals.
38
00:04:57,878 --> 00:05:00,938
Son goes into the operating
room, all right?
39
00:05:01,282 --> 00:05:03,442
Doctor looks at him, says:
40
00:05:04,118 --> 00:05:06,211
"I can't operate on this boy.
41
00:05:06,554 --> 00:05:07,782
He's my son. "
42
00:05:07,954 --> 00:05:10,286
Now, how is that possible?
43
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,881
How is that possible?
44
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:25,468
Clock's ticking.
45
00:05:25,638 --> 00:05:27,128
Father's at the other hospital?
46
00:05:27,306 --> 00:05:28,637
He didn't sneak over?
47
00:05:28,808 --> 00:05:30,298
No one beamed him aboard.
48
00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:34,808
All right, what if the father
married the son's daughter?
49
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:36,311
This is a family riddle.
50
00:05:36,782 --> 00:05:37,976
Think clean thoughts.
51
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:39,480
Give us a hint.
52
00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:41,085
You want a hint?
53
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,649
The doctor's a woman.
54
00:05:46,091 --> 00:05:47,921
The doctor's a woman.
55
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,091
The doctor's the son's mother.
56
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:56,423
Feminists pose the riddle to
reveal sexual stereotypes.
57
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,933
I take it you're a feminist.
58
00:06:00,938 --> 00:06:04,601
I've been called many things,
but never been saddled with that.
59
00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:06,437
You might try being saddled.
60
00:06:06,677 --> 00:06:08,612
Smell of leather, a whip's sting.
61
00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:12,343
I'm just a humble golf pro.
Could I help you?
62
00:06:12,516 --> 00:06:14,006
You're Roy McAvoy?
63
00:06:15,952 --> 00:06:18,443
I pictured something different.
64
00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:20,521
I have a 7:00 lesson.
65
00:06:20,856 --> 00:06:22,289
I thought I had a Dr. Griswold.
66
00:06:25,795 --> 00:06:27,126
That's me.
67
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:40,808
First thing you must learn is
this game ain't about hitting...
68
00:06:40,975 --> 00:06:42,307
...a ball in a hole.
69
00:06:42,478 --> 00:06:46,311
It's about inner demons,
self-doubt, human frailty...
70
00:06:46,481 --> 00:06:48,039
...and overcoming that crap.
71
00:06:48,216 --> 00:06:50,878
What kind of doctor
did you say you were?
72
00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:52,041
Psychologist.
73
00:06:52,554 --> 00:06:56,819
I'm a neo-Jungian, post-modern
Freudian, holistic secularist.
74
00:06:58,826 --> 00:06:59,987
Okay.
75
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:03,061
Inner demons and human
frailty is my life's work.
76
00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:06,063
I used to practice in El Paso,
but I moved here now.
77
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,334
What is all this stuff?
78
00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,231
I got it from the Golf Channel.
79
00:07:10,404 --> 00:07:12,998
Well, it's a waste of money.
80
00:07:13,406 --> 00:07:17,672
I'm sure there are some
excesses and repetitions here,
81
00:07:17,844 --> 00:07:20,176
but I believe in gathering knowledge.
82
00:07:20,346 --> 00:07:23,338
There must be some truth to the
golf swing illustrated here...
83
00:07:23,516 --> 00:07:26,679
I thought you would kind of
help me sort through it.
84
00:07:26,852 --> 00:07:29,083
I have dozens of golf videotapes.
85
00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:30,586
I bet she has a golf watch.
86
00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:32,014
Got a golf watch?
87
00:07:32,591 --> 00:07:34,525
I think I got a good one.
88
00:07:34,861 --> 00:07:36,020
Right there.
89
00:07:36,428 --> 00:07:37,862
Take it off.
90
00:07:38,096 --> 00:07:38,755
Off?
91
00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:41,262
All of it, right now. All of it.
92
00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:43,765
You're a smart woman, for chrissakes.
93
00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,894
Don't you know the work of
hustlers when you see it?
94
00:07:48,072 --> 00:07:49,404
Well, no.
95
00:07:50,709 --> 00:07:51,936
I mean...
96
00:07:52,778 --> 00:07:55,542
...I can always tell when
someone's lying to himself.
97
00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:58,876
But I'm susceptible and frequently
wrong when a person lies to me.
98
00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:01,540
This stuff cost me over $200.
99
00:08:01,719 --> 00:08:03,880
It's $200 of shit.
100
00:08:05,121 --> 00:08:07,215
Well, that's just great.
101
00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:10,292
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Just swing.
102
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,221
All right.
103
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:21,793
Come up.
104
00:08:24,741 --> 00:08:25,969
Excuse me.
105
00:08:30,813 --> 00:08:32,075
Fuck.
106
00:08:34,249 --> 00:08:36,079
You talk like a golfer.
107
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,811
That's a pretty girl to
have such an ugly swing.
108
00:08:40,422 --> 00:08:41,582
Oh, God!
109
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,247
Oh, that hurt.
110
00:08:43,425 --> 00:08:44,482
Shit!
111
00:08:46,328 --> 00:08:47,760
"Fuck. " "Shit. "
112
00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:49,760
These are technical golf terms.
113
00:08:49,931 --> 00:08:51,922
You're using them on your first lesson.
114
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,933
This is promising.
115
00:08:54,102 --> 00:08:54,931
Great.
116
00:08:55,336 --> 00:08:58,169
Wise-ass. Show me. Just go ahead.
117
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,785
Something like that.
118
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,177
That's impressive.
119
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,788
I tend to process things verbally...
120
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,792
...so can you break down
into words how you did that?
121
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,301
"What Is The Golf Swing,"
by Roy McAvoy?
122
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:34,537
I think of the golf swing as a poem.
123
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,800
He's doing that poetry thing again.
124
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:40,206
The opening phrase of this
poem will always be the grip.
125
00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:44,381
The hands unite to form a single
unit by the simple overlap of the...
126
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,642
...little finger.
127
00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:47,546
Right.
128
00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:49,979
Lowly and slowly...
129
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:53,817
...the club head is led back, pulled
into position not by the hands,
130
00:09:53,992 --> 00:09:56,152
...but the body, which turns
away from the target,
131
00:09:56,326 --> 00:09:59,228
...shifting weight to the right side
without shifting balance.
132
00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:03,662
Tempo is all, perfection unattainable,
as at the top of the swing...
133
00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:06,735
...there's a hesitation,
a little nod to the gods.
134
00:10:07,571 --> 00:10:09,664
A nod to the gods?
135
00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:12,902
To the gods that he is fallible.
136
00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:15,410
That perfection is unattainable.
137
00:10:15,579 --> 00:10:19,515
Weight shifts to the left pulled
by the powers in the earth...
138
00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:21,843
...it's alive, this swing,
and a sculpture...
139
00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:24,350
...and down through contact...
140
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,681
...striking the ball crisply...
141
00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:28,185
...with character.
142
00:10:28,357 --> 00:10:32,191
A tuning fork goes off in
your heart, your balls...
143
00:10:33,095 --> 00:10:36,189
...such a pure feeling is
the well-struck golf shot.
144
00:10:37,099 --> 00:10:39,089
Then the follow-through to finish...
145
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:40,700
...always on line.
146
00:10:40,869 --> 00:10:43,599
The reverse-C of the Golden Bear...
147
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:47,106
...the steelworkers' power and
the brawn of Carl Sandburg's...
148
00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,205
...Arnold Palmer!
149
00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:52,042
He's doing the
"Arnold Palmer" thing.
150
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,781
And the unfinished symphony of...
151
00:10:55,116 --> 00:10:56,879
...Roy McAvoy.
152
00:10:58,719 --> 00:11:00,448
What's unfinished?
153
00:11:01,555 --> 00:11:05,389
I have a short follow-through.
It has an unfinished look.
154
00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:07,114
Why?
155
00:11:08,561 --> 00:11:12,726
Some say it's the easiest way to
play in the winds of west Texas...
156
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,960
...some say it's because I never
finished anything in my life.
157
00:11:17,737 --> 00:11:20,228
You can decide. But the point is...
158
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:22,737
...every finishing position is unique.
159
00:11:25,244 --> 00:11:27,143
That's what the golf swing's about.
160
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,415
It's about gaining control
of your life and...
161
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,743
...letting go at the same time.
162
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,417
Jeez Louise.
163
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:40,581
There's only one other acceptable
theory about how to hit the ball.
164
00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:43,319
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask.
165
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,486
What's the other theory?
166
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,654
Grip it and rip it.
167
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,325
Well, you know...
168
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:56,337
...while I do appreciate your
poetic sensibility, Mr. McAvoy...
169
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,338
Call me Roy, Molly.
170
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:03,173
Call me Dr. Griswold, Roy. I think I'm
more of the grip it and rip it school.
171
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,739
Then let's tee it up.
172
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,515
All right, waggle.
173
00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:09,945
Waggle.
174
00:12:11,455 --> 00:12:12,443
No, look.
175
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,180
He's got her waggling now.
176
00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:16,023
Waggle the...
177
00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:17,954
...club head, okay?
178
00:12:18,962 --> 00:12:21,294
It's a relaxing ritual we do.
179
00:12:22,131 --> 00:12:23,530
Just waggle it.
180
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:28,198
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.
181
00:12:30,472 --> 00:12:31,531
What big dog?
182
00:12:31,807 --> 00:12:33,536
The driver, the #1-wood.
183
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,472
- This is metal.
- All woods are.
184
00:12:35,644 --> 00:12:37,544
The driver's known as the big dog.
185
00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:40,705
I'm just saying let him
loose, let it rip...
186
00:12:40,883 --> 00:12:42,645
...let the big dog eat.
187
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:58,060
You know, this is without a doubt
the stupidest, silliest...
188
00:12:58,132 --> 00:13:01,498
...most idiotic, grotesquely
masquerading game ever invented.
189
00:13:01,668 --> 00:13:04,001
Yes, that's why I love it.
190
00:13:04,172 --> 00:13:06,503
If you hit one good shot...
191
00:13:06,673 --> 00:13:09,404
...and that tuning fork
rings in your loins...
192
00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:12,344
...and you can't wait...
193
00:13:12,512 --> 00:13:13,501
...to get back.
194
00:13:13,847 --> 00:13:15,245
Try it again.
195
00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:29,587
The big dog just ate something.
196
00:13:31,363 --> 00:13:34,264
Did that tuning fork ring in your loins?
197
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,931
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
198
00:13:38,604 --> 00:13:40,935
I always say quit on a good shot.
199
00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:43,097
We'll call that lesson #1?
200
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,104
Okay.
201
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:46,770
And...
202
00:13:47,712 --> 00:13:49,373
...if you wouldn't mind...
203
00:13:49,547 --> 00:13:51,276
...paying me in cash?
204
00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:55,552
There's a little situation
I'm dealing with the IRS.
205
00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:00,123
I got to bob and weave around the
facts of life, if you know what I mean.
206
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:02,888
Can I ask you a question?
207
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,961
If you're such a legendary
golfer, as everyone says...
208
00:14:07,131 --> 00:14:10,065
...then why are you, at your age,
out here in the sticks...
209
00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:13,226
...operating a barely-solvent
business, ducking the IRS...
210
00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:17,634
...collecting a few dollars for beer
when you're capable of much more?
211
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,478
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.
212
00:14:25,982 --> 00:14:27,244
No.
213
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:29,316
You're chock-full of bullshit.
214
00:14:30,253 --> 00:14:31,412
Anyway...
215
00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:33,144
...same time next week?
216
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,823
What'd you mean I should
try being saddled sometime?
217
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,928
Were you being literal or
was that some Freudian deal?
218
00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:48,829
Molly?
219
00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:49,834
Doctor?
220
00:14:50,005 --> 00:14:51,836
What kind of saddle?
221
00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:21,156
David Simms. What the
hell are you doing here?
222
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:22,926
Hey, there, Romeo.
223
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:24,730
Been a while.
224
00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:27,662
Tin Cup around?
225
00:15:28,007 --> 00:15:31,169
No, he's in Houston on business.
226
00:15:31,343 --> 00:15:32,173
You know.
227
00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:35,836
I thought you were supposed to
be out on the pro golf tour.
228
00:15:38,517 --> 00:15:43,249
You tell Tin Cup that I'm in town for
my big charity Best Ball Tournament.
229
00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:45,952
I got a spot for him.
230
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:48,183
If he ever gets back from...
231
00:15:49,027 --> 00:15:50,687
Houston.
232
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,523
Yeah, wherever.
233
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:54,192
I thought you hated him.
234
00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:57,198
Hell, I haven't even thought
about him in a dozen years.
235
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:02,861
Not since the good old days at
the University of Houston...
236
00:16:03,106 --> 00:16:05,597
...where we won all
them titles together.
237
00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,977
God almighty.
238
00:16:08,278 --> 00:16:11,543
He says he carried you on
his back all them years.
239
00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:15,115
I didn't have much craft
back then, just a little...
240
00:16:15,285 --> 00:16:16,980
...native ability.
241
00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:19,546
Now, old Roy...
242
00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:22,050
...he's a hell of a ball-striker.
243
00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:23,384
What do you want?
244
00:16:25,295 --> 00:16:28,128
- I want to win my own tournament.
- I bet you do.
245
00:16:28,565 --> 00:16:32,728
He can help me if we can behave
like grown-ups together.
246
00:16:33,902 --> 00:16:35,494
You never know.
247
00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:39,806
You tell him that.
248
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:41,635
I'll be sure to tell him.
249
00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:44,408
What's the catch?
250
00:16:47,516 --> 00:16:48,914
Hello, Cup.
251
00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:51,748
There is no catch.
252
00:16:52,153 --> 00:16:53,814
I put together a tournament...
253
00:16:54,022 --> 00:16:56,512
...with an elite field of players...
254
00:16:56,657 --> 00:16:58,751
...and a half-million dollar purse.
255
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,322
And, by God, I'm tired of seeing
the money head out of town.
256
00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:03,929
Make more birdies.
257
00:17:09,536 --> 00:17:11,436
That's where you come in.
258
00:17:11,671 --> 00:17:13,332
I need you on my team.
259
00:17:13,673 --> 00:17:16,267
Well, I repeat: What's the catch?
260
00:17:16,443 --> 00:17:19,776
We're playing Cottonwood,
where you once shot a 59.
261
00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:23,108
Where you can still
shoot a 65 in your sleep.
262
00:17:23,282 --> 00:17:27,844
You know every bump on the fairway
and every subtle break on every green.
263
00:17:28,354 --> 00:17:29,787
Hot tub, Roy?
264
00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:33,287
It's a spa.
265
00:17:35,627 --> 00:17:37,857
You and me at Cottonwood?
266
00:17:38,363 --> 00:17:40,058
Kind of like old times.
267
00:17:44,069 --> 00:17:44,865
Yeah.
268
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:47,561
Well, put her there, partner!
269
00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:51,473
These two homeboys will show the
world what golf in Texas is about!
270
00:17:52,377 --> 00:17:54,641
I'll be a birdie-making machine!
271
00:17:55,579 --> 00:17:58,310
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, Roy.
272
00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:02,316
I didn't mean I wanted you to play
with me. I want you to caddy.
273
00:18:02,487 --> 00:18:05,819
You know, read the greens,
club me, that kind of stuff.
274
00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:14,654
Caddy?
275
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:16,823
Come on, Roy.
276
00:18:16,999 --> 00:18:20,093
I can't bring a guy in off the
street to play in my tournament.
277
00:18:22,238 --> 00:18:26,334
For chrissakes, guys, this
has become a big-time event.
278
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:30,008
Hell, I got corporate sponsors
and 30 bucks a ticket.
279
00:18:30,178 --> 00:18:34,012
This guy off the street can
kick your ass at golf anytime.
280
00:18:34,183 --> 00:18:35,615
Like he did in Junior Golf.
281
00:18:35,751 --> 00:18:37,685
Like he did in... No, fuck it.
282
00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:42,613
I'll give you $100.
283
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:45,355
And 5% of any earnings.
284
00:18:46,261 --> 00:18:48,024
Get out of here!
285
00:18:48,263 --> 00:18:51,925
Take your pinche color coordinated
sponsored chingada and...
286
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,193
...and take a flying fuck on the...
No, I got it.
287
00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,367
I was just offering work.
288
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:01,701
Thank you very much.
289
00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:08,437
I'll take the job.
290
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,646
Yeah, we'll take the job.
291
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,043
It might be more than
you got in your bag.
292
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,707
I could make that.
293
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:51,282
Shit.
294
00:19:54,225 --> 00:19:55,283
Is he on?
295
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,120
He's on.
296
00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:59,385
Pretty good shape too.
297
00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:03,394
Tin Cup can do it. I seen
him do it lots of times.
298
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:06,625
You have extra-large huevos.
299
00:20:23,486 --> 00:20:24,646
Son-of-a-bitch.
300
00:20:24,821 --> 00:20:26,481
I told you.
301
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:30,921
I had to. Your caddy said he'd
get on the green from here.
302
00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:34,256
I could.
303
00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:41,664
I got to hand it to you, Roy.
304
00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:45,939
For 15 holes, you seemed
to grasp the concept here.
305
00:20:46,107 --> 00:20:49,770
I'm trying to win this tournament
and your job is to help me.
306
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:53,935
7- iron.
307
00:20:54,115 --> 00:20:55,446
I'm going to lay up.
308
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,519
You can make that shot. Hell, I can.
309
00:21:01,688 --> 00:21:02,780
Easy.
310
00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:08,618
I know I can make this damn shot,
but the smart play is to lay up.
311
00:21:09,796 --> 00:21:14,165
These people didn't pay 30 bucks to see
a tour star lay up on a short par 5.
312
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,166
I'm sitting on a 2-shot
lead with 3 to go.
313
00:21:17,336 --> 00:21:19,827
Thanks to you, my
partner's in his pocket.
314
00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:21,406
Suddenly, par's a hell
of a number to me.
315
00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:24,341
13 years on the tour,
you're still a pussy.
316
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:28,776
Goddamn it, David, just hit
the fucking 3! Hit it!
317
00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:31,578
13 years in the driving range.
318
00:21:31,784 --> 00:21:35,082
You still think this game is
about your testosterone count.
319
00:21:35,588 --> 00:21:36,782
Back up.
320
00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:42,590
230 to carry, and the tour stars...
321
00:21:42,794 --> 00:21:44,091
...lay it up.
322
00:21:55,306 --> 00:21:57,035
Simms, from the rough.
323
00:21:57,207 --> 00:21:58,606
That's a smart play.
324
00:22:06,215 --> 00:22:08,047
You in a hurry, or what?
325
00:22:08,218 --> 00:22:08,946
Why?
326
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,213
I bet Mickelson and McCord your
caddy can knock it on from here.
327
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,949
Come on, guys, we're trying
to win a tournament here.
328
00:22:17,126 --> 00:22:20,062
We are. But I got 5-1.
I think they're good odds.
329
00:22:20,229 --> 00:22:21,321
He can do it.
330
00:22:21,564 --> 00:22:23,895
Let him hit it, it's only an exhibition.
331
00:22:24,066 --> 00:22:25,056
Come on.
332
00:22:25,335 --> 00:22:26,962
You can do it. I got a ball.
333
00:22:27,236 --> 00:22:27,964
Right here.
334
00:22:28,571 --> 00:22:29,629
Come on.
335
00:22:29,838 --> 00:22:31,965
Balls versus brains.
336
00:22:32,741 --> 00:22:34,641
You hit that shot, keep walking.
337
00:22:34,843 --> 00:22:36,572
'Cause your ass is fired.
338
00:22:44,652 --> 00:22:47,087
How'll you do that in front of everyone?
339
00:22:47,655 --> 00:22:49,851
Especially when I knock it on the green.
340
00:22:49,992 --> 00:22:52,653
It looks like the caddy
wants to hit the shot.
341
00:22:53,361 --> 00:22:54,919
What's going on down there?
342
00:22:55,262 --> 00:22:56,422
Boys...
343
00:22:56,597 --> 00:22:58,861
...things have officially changed here.
344
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,764
Forget the 2-shot lead.
Forget the 3 holes to go.
345
00:23:01,936 --> 00:23:03,767
You need a glove.
346
00:23:04,437 --> 00:23:05,598
It'll help.
347
00:23:05,773 --> 00:23:07,434
Some side action.
348
00:23:07,607 --> 00:23:12,010
And the $250,000 purse has
just gotten a little bigger.
349
00:23:12,946 --> 00:23:15,676
You don't think this guy
can pull this shot off?
350
00:23:15,882 --> 00:23:18,680
I'll tell you, I don't
think there's any chance.
351
00:23:18,885 --> 00:23:21,615
This impending disaster's
a driving range pro.
352
00:23:21,788 --> 00:23:24,950
His name is Roy McAvoy
and he's called Tin Cup.
353
00:23:25,124 --> 00:23:28,958
I'm told he was a pretty good college
player, then went on mini-tours.
354
00:23:29,395 --> 00:23:32,125
He'll have to have been a great
college player to pull this off.
355
00:23:32,297 --> 00:23:35,391
He's got 240 yards, he's a
got a television audience.
356
00:23:35,534 --> 00:23:37,900
And he hasn't hit a golf ball yet.
357
00:23:38,036 --> 00:23:39,971
We don't see this everyday.
358
00:23:40,138 --> 00:23:42,800
National television, no warm-up.
359
00:23:42,974 --> 00:23:44,635
I don't know who this guy is.
360
00:23:44,809 --> 00:23:49,303
If he gets it out of there, I'd be
surprised. A pro I'd give 10-1.
361
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,970
Dollar bills.
362
00:23:54,719 --> 00:23:56,311
He's not that good!
363
00:23:57,721 --> 00:23:59,916
Do you believe this?
364
00:24:03,428 --> 00:24:05,054
What a caddy!
365
00:24:05,228 --> 00:24:07,560
- Great shot.
- Thanks for the glove.
366
00:24:09,933 --> 00:24:10,592
You.
367
00:24:10,667 --> 00:24:12,999
Yeah, you, come here. Come here.
368
00:24:14,171 --> 00:24:15,035
Can you carry that?
369
00:24:15,838 --> 00:24:16,931
Pick it up.
370
00:24:20,943 --> 00:24:22,069
Nice shot.
371
00:24:22,244 --> 00:24:24,075
Come here a second.
372
00:24:24,947 --> 00:24:27,245
Take a hike. The loop's over.
373
00:24:27,450 --> 00:24:28,679
What?
374
00:24:28,851 --> 00:24:30,511
You can't fire me.
375
00:24:32,687 --> 00:24:33,950
How can you?
376
00:24:34,090 --> 00:24:36,854
Hey, I just knocked it stiff from 250.
377
00:24:37,358 --> 00:24:39,019
He's always been a jerk.
378
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,692
What about my money?
379
00:24:40,863 --> 00:24:43,525
You hit the shot that took
you out of the money.
380
00:24:43,698 --> 00:24:45,598
Welcome to life on the tour.
381
00:24:47,535 --> 00:24:50,368
The Sports Machine brings
you a bizarre incident...
382
00:24:50,537 --> 00:24:53,701
...at the charity golf event
with tour star David Simms.
383
00:24:53,975 --> 00:24:55,533
Let's go to west Texas...
384
00:24:55,710 --> 00:24:58,270
...where driving range
pro "Tin Cup" McAvoy...
385
00:24:58,479 --> 00:25:01,607
...serving as a caddy to
David Simms at the celebrity event...
386
00:25:01,782 --> 00:25:04,546
...grabbed the 3-wood
out of his own bag...
387
00:25:04,718 --> 00:25:08,711
...and drilled a 240-yard shot
over water to the 16th green...
388
00:25:08,989 --> 00:25:10,786
If I had to do it over...
389
00:25:11,792 --> 00:25:13,623
...I'd still hit that shot.
390
00:25:14,060 --> 00:25:15,392
I know.
391
00:25:16,296 --> 00:25:19,594
You'd bury yourself alive to
prove you could handle a shovel.
392
00:25:19,799 --> 00:25:22,063
You know why?
393
00:25:23,636 --> 00:25:26,070
It's the only way you
could beat Dave Simms.
394
00:25:26,239 --> 00:25:27,228
No.
395
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,800
'Cause you get that look on your face.
396
00:25:30,009 --> 00:25:32,500
Because that shot was a defining moment.
397
00:25:32,644 --> 00:25:36,307
When a defining moment comes along,
you define the moment...
398
00:25:36,515 --> 00:25:38,506
...or the moment defines you.
399
00:25:39,017 --> 00:25:41,918
I did not shrink from the
challenge, I rose to it.
400
00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:46,251
1981, Fort Washington Golf Club,
Fresno, California, ring a bell?
401
00:25:46,824 --> 00:25:49,157
The final tour-qualifying round?
402
00:25:49,327 --> 00:25:51,317
I was playing to win.
403
00:25:52,164 --> 00:25:55,827
Tried to hit the same impossible
cut 3-wood into the wind.
404
00:25:56,168 --> 00:25:59,261
- I was playing to win.
- 5 in a row, out of bounds.
405
00:25:59,436 --> 00:26:01,097
You finally pulled it off...
406
00:26:01,272 --> 00:26:04,105
...and tapped it in for a
crowd-pleasing 13.
407
00:26:04,542 --> 00:26:06,771
A 12 would have got you on the tour.
408
00:26:06,943 --> 00:26:08,104
Now that...
409
00:26:08,279 --> 00:26:09,940
...was a defining moment.
410
00:26:10,181 --> 00:26:12,614
And the definition was "shit. "
411
00:26:13,283 --> 00:26:15,843
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.
412
00:26:16,352 --> 00:26:18,684
You may be right, but you know what?
413
00:26:19,455 --> 00:26:21,946
Sometimes power is good enough to win.
414
00:26:30,098 --> 00:26:31,622
We owe her $12,000.
415
00:26:31,801 --> 00:26:33,700
No, I owe her $12,000.
416
00:26:33,869 --> 00:26:36,702
Fine, you owe her $12,000.
Like it makes a difference.
417
00:26:36,872 --> 00:26:38,066
It does.
418
00:26:38,207 --> 00:26:39,868
I only got one rule:
419
00:26:40,075 --> 00:26:42,976
Never bet money you don't
have on a dog race...
420
00:26:43,145 --> 00:26:46,511
...with an ex-girlfriend who is also
a stripper. You broke that rule.
421
00:26:46,681 --> 00:26:50,173
You need tell her something
nice to start off with.
422
00:26:50,384 --> 00:26:52,375
An ice-breaker. That's not hard.
423
00:26:52,587 --> 00:26:55,886
I'll say something. If it don't
come out right, you say it better.
424
00:26:56,090 --> 00:26:57,819
Doreen's looking for you.
425
00:26:57,992 --> 00:26:59,151
I'll bet.
426
00:27:05,732 --> 00:27:06,824
Tin Cup.
427
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,162
Haven't seen you in 3 days.
428
00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:10,166
Been busy.
429
00:27:11,738 --> 00:27:12,728
Hi, sweetie.
430
00:27:12,906 --> 00:27:13,895
Hi, honey.
431
00:27:20,746 --> 00:27:22,681
That better be you, Roy.
432
00:27:22,848 --> 00:27:24,679
Just be nice.
433
00:27:29,855 --> 00:27:31,015
Doreen...
434
00:27:32,124 --> 00:27:35,355
...you're looking
particularly lovely tonight.
435
00:27:35,628 --> 00:27:37,926
It's nicer than the leopard suit.
436
00:27:38,129 --> 00:27:39,358
Cut the shit.
437
00:27:39,764 --> 00:27:41,630
You owe me $12,000.
438
00:27:41,766 --> 00:27:44,132
We're going to pay it, don't worry.
439
00:27:44,269 --> 00:27:45,862
I know you'll pay me.
440
00:27:46,037 --> 00:27:48,699
12 smackeroos. Where is it?
441
00:27:50,942 --> 00:27:53,035
- There.
- What is this?
442
00:27:53,777 --> 00:27:56,042
With equity and inventory it's worth...
443
00:27:56,648 --> 00:27:58,707
...12 grand, more or less.
444
00:27:58,882 --> 00:28:01,784
This is how you think you'll settle up?
445
00:28:01,953 --> 00:28:04,147
By giving me the driving range?
446
00:28:04,288 --> 00:28:08,782
Only on condition you don't sell
right away, and we keep our jobs.
447
00:28:08,959 --> 00:28:12,725
What in the world would I want
with your stupid driving range?
448
00:28:12,963 --> 00:28:14,157
Equity.
449
00:28:14,298 --> 00:28:15,287
Inventory.
450
00:28:15,464 --> 00:28:16,454
Cash flow.
451
00:28:16,666 --> 00:28:19,396
Plus an enhanced stature
in the community...
452
00:28:19,568 --> 00:28:23,665
...and a pre-paid membership
in Salome Chamber of Commerce.
453
00:28:24,473 --> 00:28:25,963
What are your labor costs?
454
00:28:26,742 --> 00:28:28,676
Everybody gets what they get.
455
00:28:31,814 --> 00:28:33,804
The tractor kid gets four.
456
00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:36,812
The tractor kid gets 5 bucks an hour.
457
00:28:37,986 --> 00:28:40,079
Give me, like, 6.
458
00:28:41,490 --> 00:28:43,684
And Romeo gets 10. Cash.
459
00:28:43,825 --> 00:28:45,258
What do you get?
460
00:28:46,828 --> 00:28:47,987
Me?
461
00:28:48,196 --> 00:28:50,823
To stand around and hit golf balls...
462
00:28:50,998 --> 00:28:54,092
...when you're not breaking for
beers or to gather the guys up...
463
00:28:54,268 --> 00:28:56,601
...to bet on which
crow'll fly off first.
464
00:28:57,706 --> 00:28:59,696
You mean my managerial salary?
465
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:04,277
I'm referring to every nickel you take
from the till, every bag of nuts.
466
00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:06,709
That is what I'm referring to.
467
00:29:06,847 --> 00:29:08,838
He'll take the deal.
468
00:29:10,283 --> 00:29:11,717
What is the deal?
469
00:29:12,218 --> 00:29:15,949
Let's just say the driving
range is worth $10,000.
470
00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:18,113
You still owe me 2.
471
00:29:54,191 --> 00:29:55,783
She's been here a while.
472
00:29:57,528 --> 00:29:58,460
Am I early?
473
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:03,696
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you
have a fairly laid-back lifestyle...
474
00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:05,460
...but I have hours to keep.
475
00:30:05,636 --> 00:30:09,366
All right. A former paramour
once ascribed my...
476
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:13,532
...fluid sense of time to being
born under the sign of Pisces.
477
00:30:13,710 --> 00:30:16,873
Something about floating
through the universe.
478
00:30:17,047 --> 00:30:19,208
Oh, you amuse me, Roy.
479
00:30:19,549 --> 00:30:24,145
But I'm the only woman born after World
War II who thinks astrology's bullshit.
480
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,378
Let's see if the big dog'll eat.
481
00:30:26,722 --> 00:30:27,814
Waggle.
482
00:30:29,158 --> 00:30:30,022
I'm waggling.
483
00:30:30,092 --> 00:30:31,389
Set up to the ball.
484
00:30:32,161 --> 00:30:33,389
I am.
485
00:30:36,965 --> 00:30:39,489
You're trying to wring the club's neck.
486
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,401
Show a little warmth.
487
00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:43,398
A little compassion.
488
00:30:44,073 --> 00:30:46,165
Remember this game's about trust...
489
00:30:46,341 --> 00:30:47,398
...and touch...
490
00:30:48,177 --> 00:30:49,667
...and letting go.
491
00:30:49,844 --> 00:30:53,075
So while I subtly enhance
your technical prospects...
492
00:30:54,682 --> 00:30:57,742
...why don't you tell me
about your personal life.
493
00:30:57,919 --> 00:30:59,580
That's none of your business.
494
00:31:01,189 --> 00:31:02,918
Your boyfriend's a golfer.
495
00:31:03,091 --> 00:31:04,079
That's my bet.
496
00:31:04,257 --> 00:31:06,521
He's the reason you're learning.
497
00:31:07,028 --> 00:31:08,722
Hell, I probably even know him.
498
00:31:08,795 --> 00:31:10,319
Get your hands off her.
499
00:31:13,599 --> 00:31:14,760
Hi, honey.
500
00:31:15,535 --> 00:31:16,797
Hi, darling.
501
00:31:17,237 --> 00:31:20,467
He's taking her to Miami
for the fucking Doral!
502
00:31:20,841 --> 00:31:22,740
I can't compete with that!
503
00:31:22,908 --> 00:31:24,900
You are having a bad week.
504
00:31:25,077 --> 00:31:27,136
She must think I'm a nothing.
505
00:31:27,347 --> 00:31:31,908
Such a loser, a lousy driving
range pro, living in a Winnebago.
506
00:31:32,084 --> 00:31:33,846
She doesn't know you live here.
507
00:31:33,986 --> 00:31:36,614
She knows I'm not taking
her to no Doral...
508
00:31:36,754 --> 00:31:39,747
...for massages and mimosas all weekend.
509
00:31:41,493 --> 00:31:44,486
- I didn't leave it out.
- Well, I didn't.
510
00:31:46,664 --> 00:31:48,655
I must do something with my life.
511
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:50,766
You just threw that in the spa.
512
00:31:50,935 --> 00:31:53,994
Must rise to a level worthy of
the women who think I'm a joke.
513
00:31:54,172 --> 00:31:57,107
You could go out and win the
U.S. Open. That'd impress her.
514
00:31:57,508 --> 00:31:58,601
What?
515
00:31:58,775 --> 00:31:59,606
Win the Open.
516
00:32:00,277 --> 00:32:02,609
She'll think, "You're wonderful, Roy. "
517
00:32:04,515 --> 00:32:06,676
Romeo, that idea has promise.
518
00:32:06,884 --> 00:32:11,013
The U.S. Open? The biggest
golf tournament in the world?
519
00:32:11,188 --> 00:32:13,122
Not just the biggest...
520
00:32:13,456 --> 00:32:16,449
...the most democratic golf
tournament in the world.
521
00:32:16,626 --> 00:32:18,527
- What do you mean?
- It's open.
522
00:32:18,896 --> 00:32:20,021
So?
523
00:32:20,196 --> 00:32:23,131
Anyone with a 2 handicap or
better's got a shot at it.
524
00:32:23,299 --> 00:32:26,462
You just must get through a local
and sectional qualifier, then like...
525
00:32:26,636 --> 00:32:29,969
...Doral or Colonial or
AT&T, they can't keep you out.
526
00:32:30,405 --> 00:32:34,136
They can't ask you if you're
a garbage man or a...
527
00:32:34,309 --> 00:32:37,040
...driving range pro whose
checks are signed by a stripper.
528
00:32:37,547 --> 00:32:39,481
You qualify, you're in.
529
00:32:39,648 --> 00:32:40,979
You don't got the game.
530
00:32:41,149 --> 00:32:42,810
I got every shot in the book.
531
00:32:42,984 --> 00:32:44,815
I'm talking about the game.
532
00:32:44,986 --> 00:32:47,715
The mental game. La
cabeza, you don't got it.
533
00:32:48,155 --> 00:32:52,058
Since you're the authority,
teach me what I ain't...
534
00:32:52,426 --> 00:32:53,916
...and never will be.
535
00:32:54,061 --> 00:32:56,552
What for? You never listen to me.
536
00:32:57,232 --> 00:32:59,062
This time'll be different.
537
00:32:59,233 --> 00:33:00,495
- Right.
- I promise.
538
00:33:00,668 --> 00:33:04,831
You don't have the money to get
your golf clubs out of hock.
539
00:33:05,171 --> 00:33:06,332
That don't fit.
540
00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:08,737
Don't force it if it don't...
541
00:33:10,344 --> 00:33:12,573
Is that what those things were?
542
00:33:12,745 --> 00:33:13,939
Flowers.
543
00:33:15,014 --> 00:33:19,178
You're going to play me
for $400 with those?
544
00:33:19,519 --> 00:33:22,352
And I'll give you two strokes a side.
545
00:33:22,754 --> 00:33:24,848
You ain't got no 400 bucks.
546
00:33:25,024 --> 00:33:26,582
My car title's collateral.
547
00:33:27,593 --> 00:33:30,461
I ain't interested in
that piece of shit.
548
00:33:31,530 --> 00:33:34,465
That's 'cause you think
of it as transportation.
549
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,465
Think of it as bragging rights.
550
00:33:36,702 --> 00:33:41,263
Think of sitting around the bar crowing
about the Cadillac you won from me.
551
00:33:42,541 --> 00:33:45,601
They'll forget all about the
Winnebago you lost to me.
552
00:33:49,514 --> 00:33:51,743
I'll call the INS on you, you midget.
553
00:33:51,916 --> 00:33:54,749
I'll be playing a pink lady today.
554
00:33:55,019 --> 00:33:57,852
That little pink fag ball
supposed to intimidate me?
555
00:33:58,689 --> 00:34:01,180
Not unless I knock it by you.
556
00:34:01,525 --> 00:34:03,083
Louisville Slugger, please.
557
00:34:11,868 --> 00:34:12,857
I believe you're away.
558
00:34:13,036 --> 00:34:14,765
Don't worry about it.
559
00:34:15,005 --> 00:34:17,529
I thought I caught it on the toe.
560
00:34:21,610 --> 00:34:24,603
You drive for show and you
putt for dough, big mouth.
561
00:34:24,780 --> 00:34:27,613
Did you hear that?
Boone was being profound.
562
00:34:27,783 --> 00:34:30,274
Stay out of the rough. I recommend...
563
00:34:30,619 --> 00:34:31,881
...the shovel.
564
00:34:32,054 --> 00:34:33,385
That's what I think.
565
00:34:39,962 --> 00:34:41,793
I want a legitimate swing.
566
00:34:41,964 --> 00:34:43,294
No scooping.
567
00:34:48,904 --> 00:34:50,302
I'll finish.
568
00:34:55,243 --> 00:34:57,143
Get the hell off my course.
569
00:34:57,477 --> 00:34:59,105
Need a receipt?
570
00:35:01,082 --> 00:35:03,914
You know what I think? She's
got you by the huevos.
571
00:35:04,084 --> 00:35:08,817
Your job is to teach me patience and
humility. Don't advise me on love-life.
572
00:35:08,989 --> 00:35:11,116
Not all my thinking
occurs below the belt.
573
00:35:11,358 --> 00:35:14,815
I stand for a few things besides
my next romantic interlude.
574
00:35:14,995 --> 00:35:19,488
You'll have no trouble telling her you
can't teach her until after the Open.
575
00:35:19,666 --> 00:35:22,998
That'd make an issue out of
something that's not an issue.
576
00:35:23,336 --> 00:35:24,598
Besides, I'm focused.
577
00:35:24,770 --> 00:35:25,759
I am!
578
00:35:25,938 --> 00:35:27,337
This is my quest!
579
00:35:27,506 --> 00:35:30,600
This is my stand for the
guys who've had their...
580
00:35:30,776 --> 00:35:33,767
...fill of soulless
robots like David Simms.
581
00:35:34,347 --> 00:35:36,337
He may be a soulless robot...
582
00:35:36,515 --> 00:35:41,008
...but he's a rich, happy soulless robot
with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend.
583
00:35:41,187 --> 00:35:44,519
How'll getting into the Open
change her opinion of you?
584
00:35:45,191 --> 00:35:48,023
It'll show her I'm not
who she thinks I am.
585
00:35:48,193 --> 00:35:50,627
You are who she thinks you are, man!
586
00:35:50,795 --> 00:35:54,628
No, I will not give you time
off to go win the Open.
587
00:35:54,798 --> 00:35:56,459
I don't care if it's your quest.
588
00:35:56,633 --> 00:35:58,191
How about my destiny?
589
00:35:58,369 --> 00:36:02,032
Or your destiny. Or any other term
you remember from Cliff Notes.
590
00:36:02,206 --> 00:36:04,140
That looks stupid.
591
00:36:04,308 --> 00:36:05,866
You get mean, then petty.
592
00:36:06,043 --> 00:36:09,978
If you had been just a little nicer
to me when we were an item...
593
00:36:10,147 --> 00:36:12,877
...then maybe I wouldn't
be such a nasty boss.
594
00:36:13,050 --> 00:36:15,643
I have a business to run.
Bye-bye.
595
00:36:15,818 --> 00:36:18,719
Becky, come here, sweetheart.
Right now, hurry up.
596
00:36:18,889 --> 00:36:22,984
Your natural thing is really sweet,
but we don't do natural here.
597
00:36:23,159 --> 00:36:26,559
We do big and bold, colorful
hair, lots of it. Look at me.
598
00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:28,320
That's what we do.
599
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:35,166
If you're going to take that
tone then we'll talk later.
600
00:36:35,337 --> 00:36:40,070
I'm sorry, I have things to do.
I don't need to be treated like that.
601
00:36:40,242 --> 00:36:42,073
So, good-bye.
602
00:36:43,912 --> 00:36:47,507
It wouldn't kill you just once
to tell her she's beautiful...
603
00:36:47,681 --> 00:36:49,582
...or that she can dance...
604
00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:50,910
...or she's sexy.
605
00:36:51,085 --> 00:36:54,577
Here I am, ready to charge forth
in pursuit of my destiny...
606
00:36:54,755 --> 00:36:57,246
...and I can't get time
off work to do it.
607
00:36:58,359 --> 00:37:01,590
I'm no expert here, but
it seems to me that...
608
00:37:01,762 --> 00:37:04,230
...the pursuit of destiny
isn't something...
609
00:37:04,432 --> 00:37:07,195
...you need to get off
a $7 per hour job to do.
610
00:37:07,367 --> 00:37:09,426
I'm stuck, man. I'm buried.
611
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,864
I need help.
612
00:37:11,037 --> 00:37:13,699
I need advice. I need counseling.
613
00:37:15,108 --> 00:37:16,268
I need a shrink.
614
00:37:16,544 --> 00:37:18,272
You don't know no shrinks.
615
00:37:19,045 --> 00:37:20,376
I know one.
616
00:37:22,048 --> 00:37:24,448
No, no, no, not the doctor-lady.
617
00:37:24,717 --> 00:37:25,876
Why not?
618
00:37:26,019 --> 00:37:30,046
You can't ask her advice about
the woman you're trying to hose.
619
00:37:30,557 --> 00:37:31,784
Why not?
620
00:38:50,298 --> 00:38:51,697
I didn't say shit!
621
00:38:55,036 --> 00:38:57,368
Get in the other room, please.
622
00:38:59,306 --> 00:39:02,036
Sue Ann, honey, it's okay. Okay.
623
00:39:02,209 --> 00:39:04,871
You're going to be fine.
Take a deep breath.
624
00:39:07,147 --> 00:39:09,138
She was crying when she came out.
625
00:39:09,316 --> 00:39:10,976
So maybe it's something you said...
626
00:39:11,151 --> 00:39:13,142
That's the patient exit room.
627
00:39:13,319 --> 00:39:17,551
I knew it was some kind of room.
There were no magazines.
628
00:39:17,723 --> 00:39:19,715
Why are you here?
629
00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:22,718
Therapy.
630
00:39:24,163 --> 00:39:26,563
You've come for therapy? Okay, look.
631
00:39:26,732 --> 00:39:30,997
You need to make an appointment
because I have a client in half an hour.
632
00:39:31,169 --> 00:39:33,331
That's fine, I'm not that fucked up.
633
00:39:33,838 --> 00:39:37,070
Why don't you just have
a seat right there.
634
00:39:37,243 --> 00:39:38,733
Right over there.
635
00:39:56,694 --> 00:39:58,594
So how do I do it?
636
00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:03,192
Therapy, I mean.
How do I start doing it?
637
00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:09,103
In your parlance, "Kick back
and let the big dog eat. "
638
00:40:15,211 --> 00:40:19,273
Suppose there's a guy and he's
standing on the shore of a river...
639
00:40:20,049 --> 00:40:24,952
...and river's full of piranhas,
alligators, eddies, shit like that.
640
00:40:25,121 --> 00:40:28,056
And nobody'll even go
down there to dip a toe.
641
00:40:28,224 --> 00:40:33,126
And on the other side of the river's
a million bucks, on this side a boat.
642
00:40:35,464 --> 00:40:37,296
I guess my question is...
643
00:40:37,467 --> 00:40:41,061
...what would possess
a guy to swim for it?
644
00:40:41,236 --> 00:40:42,567
He's an idiot.
645
00:40:42,738 --> 00:40:44,796
No, see, he's a hell of a swimmer.
646
00:40:44,973 --> 00:40:49,068
His problem is more like why
does he always have to...
647
00:40:49,243 --> 00:40:50,801
...rise to the challenge?
648
00:40:50,978 --> 00:40:52,639
He's a juvenile idiot.
649
00:40:52,713 --> 00:40:54,647
You don't understand.
650
00:40:55,349 --> 00:40:58,477
We're talking about you
and your inner demons.
651
00:40:59,086 --> 00:41:01,384
That human frailty you blather about.
652
00:41:01,455 --> 00:41:04,447
Not some mytho-poetic
metaphor you come up with...
653
00:41:04,824 --> 00:41:07,588
...in a feeble and transparent
effort to do yourself credit.
654
00:41:08,129 --> 00:41:10,289
You're going to make me feel lousy?
655
00:41:10,730 --> 00:41:13,290
I want to feel better. What
kind of therapy is this?
656
00:41:13,633 --> 00:41:17,535
You don't have any inner demons.
You have inner crapola.
657
00:41:18,204 --> 00:41:19,694
Inner debris, garbage...
658
00:41:19,773 --> 00:41:22,298
...horseshit in staggering amounts.
659
00:41:22,374 --> 00:41:25,276
I'm not some just jerk
driving range pro...
660
00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:29,279
...who drinks too much booze,
eats too few vegetables, okay?
661
00:41:29,715 --> 00:41:30,909
Sit down.
662
00:41:31,050 --> 00:41:35,714
You're getting defensive, and I want
you to just tell me why you're here.
663
00:41:37,723 --> 00:41:38,917
A woman.
664
00:41:39,725 --> 00:41:40,919
A woman.
665
00:41:41,727 --> 00:41:43,490
Have you asked her out?
666
00:41:43,929 --> 00:41:46,158
Nah, she's seeing a guy.
667
00:41:46,330 --> 00:41:49,299
But he's a real horse's
ass, if you ask me.
668
00:41:49,367 --> 00:41:52,427
Maybe if you shared your heart
with this woman at dinner...
669
00:41:52,570 --> 00:41:54,936
...these issues would be in the open.
670
00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:57,571
I'm afraid she'll say no.
671
00:41:57,742 --> 00:42:02,509
So, your speeches about swimming
across shark-infested waters...
672
00:42:02,679 --> 00:42:05,580
...are about your golf game and
not about your personal life?
673
00:42:07,584 --> 00:42:08,448
Good, then...
674
00:42:08,585 --> 00:42:11,019
I didn't know we'd get
into my personal life.
675
00:42:11,187 --> 00:42:12,746
This is therapy, Roy.
676
00:42:12,956 --> 00:42:14,014
I know, but...
677
00:42:14,191 --> 00:42:16,182
...I didn't know it was that kind.
678
00:42:16,359 --> 00:42:19,851
Let's make this simple.
Please, sit down right here.
679
00:42:20,464 --> 00:42:25,366
Those risks you love to take on the golf
course you talk so poetically about.
680
00:42:25,868 --> 00:42:30,271
You need to apply those risks to
your personal life as passionately.
681
00:42:30,539 --> 00:42:32,530
I should just ask her out?
682
00:42:32,774 --> 00:42:36,211
And risk coming right over the
top, hooking it out of bounds?
683
00:42:36,378 --> 00:42:37,708
Absolutely, Roy.
684
00:42:37,879 --> 00:42:40,040
- That's good.
- No, I'm sorry.
685
00:42:40,216 --> 00:42:41,273
Look...
686
00:42:41,483 --> 00:42:46,045
...all you must do is walk up to
this woman, look her in the eye...
687
00:42:46,221 --> 00:42:47,210
Look at me.
688
00:42:47,789 --> 00:42:50,781
Look her in the eyes, that's right.
Let down your guard...
689
00:42:50,991 --> 00:42:55,223
...and don't try to be cool,
just be honest and take a risk.
690
00:42:55,395 --> 00:42:58,125
And then, whatever happens,
if you act from the heart...
691
00:42:58,298 --> 00:43:00,061
...you can't make a mistake.
692
00:43:17,316 --> 00:43:18,511
Dr. Griswold...
693
00:43:18,918 --> 00:43:19,907
Yes?
694
00:43:20,587 --> 00:43:22,520
I think I'm in love with you.
695
00:43:23,422 --> 00:43:24,980
From the moment I first saw you...
696
00:43:25,056 --> 00:43:28,925
...I knew I was through with
bar girls and strippers and...
697
00:43:29,095 --> 00:43:32,326
...when you first started talking
I was smitten with you...
698
00:43:32,531 --> 00:43:35,830
...and I'm smitten with you more
every day I think of you and...
699
00:43:36,034 --> 00:43:40,334
...the fact you know I'm full of crapola
makes you more attractive to me.
700
00:43:40,539 --> 00:43:43,099
Usually I can bullshit
people, but not you.
701
00:43:43,274 --> 00:43:46,176
And in addition, you
got great legs and...
702
00:43:46,611 --> 00:43:50,274
...most women I'm thinking about
how to get into their pants, with you...
703
00:43:52,184 --> 00:43:53,549
I'm just...
704
00:43:53,784 --> 00:43:56,048
...thinking about
getting into your heart.
705
00:43:58,055 --> 00:43:59,113
Stunned?
706
00:44:00,791 --> 00:44:01,553
So...
707
00:44:01,692 --> 00:44:05,219
...so what about dinner and
we can talk about us...
708
00:44:05,296 --> 00:44:06,285
...and if we have a future...
709
00:44:06,363 --> 00:44:08,626
...and how to drop that
horse's ass boyfriend of yours.
710
00:44:09,799 --> 00:44:11,131
Slow down.
711
00:44:11,302 --> 00:44:13,133
I'm staring eagle in the face.
712
00:44:13,304 --> 00:44:16,704
Just cut the golf talk, please.
Because this is a mistake.
713
00:44:16,874 --> 00:44:20,036
I'm acting from the heart,
how can that be a mistake?
714
00:44:20,210 --> 00:44:21,142
Right?
715
00:44:21,311 --> 00:44:22,710
Wrong, Roy.
716
00:44:22,879 --> 00:44:24,710
I mean, shit!
717
00:44:24,881 --> 00:44:26,871
I didn't know you meant me.
718
00:44:27,082 --> 00:44:28,880
Would your advice have been different?
719
00:44:37,159 --> 00:44:41,322
This session is over. I have
someone coming soon. Leave.
720
00:44:43,497 --> 00:44:45,489
I take it your answer is no.
721
00:44:45,834 --> 00:44:49,894
Our relationship is and will
remain strictly professional.
722
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:52,732
That's it?
723
00:44:59,180 --> 00:45:03,241
I'm going to qualify for the U.S.
Open and kick your boyfriend's ass.
724
00:45:08,021 --> 00:45:11,513
Whatever you think of me, you
should know he hates old people...
725
00:45:11,691 --> 00:45:13,181
...children, dogs...
726
00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:17,028
...and that broad's crying
still in the exit room.
727
00:45:17,197 --> 00:45:19,027
You're still in the exit room.
728
00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:30,438
Hello?!
729
00:45:30,776 --> 00:45:32,539
Dr. Kasseldorf?
730
00:45:32,711 --> 00:45:33,870
You're there.
731
00:45:34,546 --> 00:45:38,744
You said to call if something
came up that confused me...
732
00:45:39,018 --> 00:45:42,817
...and shrinks need shrinks...
But, it happened. You said it would.
733
00:45:43,421 --> 00:45:46,858
A patient thinks he's
falling in love with me.
734
00:45:47,025 --> 00:45:50,017
He's not really a patient,
he's my golf pro, but...
735
00:45:50,228 --> 00:45:54,392
I know that under the circumstance I
should recommend another therapist.
736
00:45:54,565 --> 00:45:56,555
But there aren't any in Salome.
737
00:45:56,733 --> 00:46:00,727
He'd have to drive 100 miles
to Midland or Odessa.
738
00:46:00,904 --> 00:46:03,566
I'm not sure you could
count on help there.
739
00:46:03,740 --> 00:46:04,900
Me?
740
00:46:05,076 --> 00:46:07,669
No, my self-esteem is fine.
741
00:46:07,812 --> 00:46:09,300
My self-esteem is fine.
742
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,241
He's a good-looking man.
743
00:46:12,582 --> 00:46:14,812
Green eyes. I don't know, I mean...
744
00:46:14,985 --> 00:46:16,679
That's not the point, is it?
745
00:46:16,820 --> 00:46:18,310
He's, you know...
746
00:46:18,487 --> 00:46:20,479
...he's kind of cute. He's cute.
747
00:46:22,192 --> 00:46:22,816
But...
748
00:47:50,175 --> 00:47:52,006
You got a beautiful swing.
749
00:47:52,911 --> 00:47:54,673
I'm a beautiful guy.
750
00:47:55,346 --> 00:47:58,008
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?
751
00:47:58,182 --> 00:47:59,171
For what?
752
00:47:59,350 --> 00:48:01,079
You did what I said...
753
00:48:01,285 --> 00:48:04,413
...and I poured cold water
over your efforts. I didn't get it.
754
00:48:05,022 --> 00:48:07,421
I'm a terrible shrink, probably.
755
00:48:07,590 --> 00:48:09,855
Should've stayed in real estate.
756
00:48:10,027 --> 00:48:14,292
Actually, I should have never left
Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo.
757
00:48:15,031 --> 00:48:16,862
Ever been to Amarillo?
758
00:48:17,100 --> 00:48:18,533
Cowboy?
759
00:48:18,802 --> 00:48:22,863
Yeah. It's not as romantic when
you're actually with one, trust me.
760
00:48:23,039 --> 00:48:25,872
So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston,
I don't know where he was from.
761
00:48:26,042 --> 00:48:27,805
Anyway, he looked great.
762
00:48:28,144 --> 00:48:32,409
After that, I went to the Gulf
and ended up in trailer sales.
763
00:48:32,948 --> 00:48:35,041
Then condos in Corpus Christi.
764
00:48:35,384 --> 00:48:40,116
The bottom, just, boom, fell right out
of the market so I needed a new gig.
765
00:48:40,456 --> 00:48:41,946
A new gig?
766
00:48:42,123 --> 00:48:43,715
Yeah, therapy.
767
00:48:43,892 --> 00:48:47,622
I took all the classes.
I'm legitimate. Legal.
768
00:48:47,830 --> 00:48:51,322
Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable.
I'm really sorry.
769
00:48:51,466 --> 00:48:53,127
Oh, boy.
770
00:48:53,968 --> 00:48:55,731
Can I have a doughnut?
771
00:49:03,411 --> 00:49:04,139
Thanks.
772
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,343
Okay, look...
773
00:49:08,482 --> 00:49:10,973
I am flattered you asked me out.
774
00:49:11,852 --> 00:49:14,252
I can't accept because
I'm involved with David.
775
00:49:14,421 --> 00:49:17,584
I haven't seen him treat old
people, children or dogs badly.
776
00:49:17,923 --> 00:49:19,356
I'm sorry.
777
00:49:19,493 --> 00:49:22,984
I got carried away with the
David thing. I should have...
778
00:49:23,263 --> 00:49:26,663
I just want to make a
proposal, all right?
779
00:49:27,766 --> 00:49:30,929
As long as you understand that
it's strictly professional...
780
00:49:31,102 --> 00:49:32,866
...we're not going out.
781
00:49:33,005 --> 00:49:33,994
Tee it up.
782
00:49:34,874 --> 00:49:38,105
I think I can help you with
the mental aspects of the game.
783
00:49:38,277 --> 00:49:41,940
Romeo is your swing doctor,
I'll be your head doctor.
784
00:49:42,181 --> 00:49:43,113
What?
785
00:49:43,615 --> 00:49:46,448
You just said yourself
you're a crumby shrink.
786
00:49:46,618 --> 00:49:48,449
I can improve, Roy.
787
00:49:48,620 --> 00:49:51,612
I don't have the money to
pay you! I'm broke!
788
00:49:51,788 --> 00:49:55,691
You don't need any money to pay me!
We'll trade services.
789
00:49:56,461 --> 00:50:00,396
I'll give you my services
for golf lessons and...
790
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:03,125
...I can help you
through the qualifying.
791
00:50:04,301 --> 00:50:06,462
If you make it into the Open...
792
00:50:06,904 --> 00:50:09,634
I'm on my own, you'll be with David.
793
00:50:19,215 --> 00:50:20,547
I don't want this.
794
00:50:29,224 --> 00:50:33,321
Third in the group, playing out
of Salome, Texas: Roy McAvoy.
795
00:51:06,694 --> 00:51:08,854
Ben Hogan, now, who's he?
796
00:51:09,028 --> 00:51:13,260
I find him mildly attractive when he's
obnoxious and arrogant like this.
797
00:51:13,467 --> 00:51:14,592
Oh, good.
798
00:51:14,767 --> 00:51:16,359
That's his best side.
799
00:51:25,611 --> 00:51:26,976
They bugging you?
800
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:31,375
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs
me except insufficient applause.
801
00:51:32,485 --> 00:51:34,042
Give me the lumber.
802
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:36,551
I think you want to hit the 2-iron.
803
00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:39,387
I said I want the big dog.
804
00:51:39,992 --> 00:51:41,619
You got a tight par 5 here...
805
00:51:41,793 --> 00:51:45,058
...with out of bounds on the left.
The 2-iron seems best.
806
00:51:45,297 --> 00:51:48,232
I'm not going left or right
of those trees, okay?
807
00:51:48,399 --> 00:51:51,994
I'm going over those
trees, with a little draw.
808
00:51:53,504 --> 00:51:56,234
That way I get home in 2. That
way I'm putting for eagle.
809
00:51:57,241 --> 00:51:59,401
You don't need an eagle to qualify.
810
00:51:59,577 --> 00:52:01,305
Practice playing it safe.
811
00:52:01,512 --> 00:52:03,503
- No mistakes wins the Open.
- I want the course record.
812
00:52:03,648 --> 00:52:04,807
The lumber.
813
00:52:08,418 --> 00:52:10,318
You won't listen to me, will you?
814
00:52:11,154 --> 00:52:13,748
Even when I'm trying to help you, man.
815
00:52:14,924 --> 00:52:16,152
After all these years you
think I'm full of shit?
816
00:52:16,325 --> 00:52:18,419
I'll get penalized for slow play.
817
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:20,028
Give me the driver.
818
00:52:20,162 --> 00:52:23,928
You're a head case. You always
have been, always will be.
819
00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:25,260
Let's ask her.
820
00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:26,662
Dr. Griswold.
821
00:52:29,938 --> 00:52:32,031
Should I hit the big dog or the 2?
822
00:52:32,441 --> 00:52:35,433
Soliciting shot selection
advice is a 2 stroke penalty.
823
00:52:36,544 --> 00:52:37,944
Trust your feelings.
824
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:40,672
Now give me the driver and shut up.
825
00:52:44,118 --> 00:52:45,279
The driver?
826
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:46,442
Fine.
827
00:52:47,055 --> 00:52:48,044
Here.
828
00:52:48,557 --> 00:52:50,547
Hit the driver, Tin Cup.
829
00:52:56,129 --> 00:52:58,690
I changed my mind. Give me the 3-wood.
830
00:52:59,567 --> 00:53:02,127
You can't throw that
dog leg with a 3-wood.
831
00:53:02,303 --> 00:53:03,564
You want to bet?
832
00:53:05,573 --> 00:53:07,472
Fine, take the 3-wood.
833
00:53:07,641 --> 00:53:10,701
Take it and show me
what a golf pro does.
834
00:53:16,650 --> 00:53:19,209
Guess I'm going with
the safe shot, boys.
835
00:53:21,487 --> 00:53:24,388
But, you know, sometimes I fan that 2.
836
00:53:26,592 --> 00:53:28,651
You better give me the 3.
837
00:53:28,994 --> 00:53:30,825
Is this normal behavior?
838
00:53:30,996 --> 00:53:34,488
The word normal and him don't
often collide in the same sentence.
839
00:53:36,902 --> 00:53:40,099
And sometimes I catch
that 3 a little thin too.
840
00:53:40,605 --> 00:53:42,732
- Don't do this.
- I've hit flies with the 4.
841
00:53:44,008 --> 00:53:45,601
Hit the damn ball.
842
00:53:45,744 --> 00:53:47,609
I've hooked my 5.
843
00:53:48,246 --> 00:53:49,736
I've shanked the 6.
844
00:53:49,914 --> 00:53:52,405
Sculled the 8. Fatted the 9.
845
00:53:52,616 --> 00:53:53,675
Chili-dipped the wedge.
846
00:53:54,518 --> 00:53:56,179
And I've bladed the sand.
847
00:53:57,187 --> 00:53:58,620
Putter?
848
00:53:59,356 --> 00:54:02,018
There is Mr. 3-Wiggle, isn't there?
849
00:54:06,930 --> 00:54:08,921
But then there's the 7-iron.
850
00:54:09,700 --> 00:54:12,134
I never miss with the 7-iron.
851
00:54:16,639 --> 00:54:19,267
It's the only truly safe club in my bag.
852
00:54:21,444 --> 00:54:24,037
The bag's lighter. You happy?
853
00:54:24,379 --> 00:54:26,143
No, I'm not happy, man.
854
00:54:26,716 --> 00:54:28,206
I'm tired!
855
00:54:29,552 --> 00:54:33,954
My life's too short to watch you blow
up all... I've done it too many times.
856
00:54:35,223 --> 00:54:36,053
Quitting?
857
00:54:37,393 --> 00:54:39,224
Goddamn!
858
00:54:39,961 --> 00:54:42,452
First sign of adversity, you quit.
859
00:54:42,798 --> 00:54:46,461
God! First time you can
qualify for the Open!
860
00:54:46,668 --> 00:54:48,295
What's wrong with you?
861
00:54:50,405 --> 00:54:53,067
Who wants to bet I can't
par with a 7-iron?
862
00:54:56,477 --> 00:54:57,739
Anybody?
863
00:55:02,416 --> 00:55:03,906
Take the bet.
864
00:55:04,084 --> 00:55:06,177
Shut up and hit the ball!
865
00:55:28,507 --> 00:55:30,202
You the man, Cup.
866
00:56:14,551 --> 00:56:16,041
Thank you, boys.
867
00:56:22,324 --> 00:56:25,816
What do you think my best shot was?
The 7-iron on 12?
868
00:56:25,995 --> 00:56:28,759
- That was a good one.
- Or was it 7-iron on 14?
869
00:56:28,898 --> 00:56:30,263
That was better.
870
00:56:30,399 --> 00:56:34,893
What about that bunker shot on 18
which to my recollection was a 7-iron.
871
00:56:35,070 --> 00:56:36,401
Yes, it was!
872
00:56:36,572 --> 00:56:37,561
All good.
873
00:56:37,773 --> 00:56:38,671
You're the man.
874
00:56:39,341 --> 00:56:40,171
Hey, Doc!
875
00:56:42,410 --> 00:56:43,672
How'd I do?
876
00:56:44,179 --> 00:56:46,169
You failed miserably.
877
00:56:46,347 --> 00:56:48,008
What're you talking about?
878
00:56:48,183 --> 00:56:49,911
I qualified for the sectionals.
879
00:56:50,084 --> 00:56:51,016
You did.
880
00:56:51,185 --> 00:56:51,913
I did.
881
00:56:52,353 --> 00:56:53,512
With a 7-iron.
882
00:56:53,854 --> 00:56:54,913
Yes, siree.
883
00:56:55,089 --> 00:56:59,025
Look, your job isn't just
to qualify for the Open.
884
00:56:59,193 --> 00:57:01,024
It's to prepare for the Open.
885
00:57:01,195 --> 00:57:03,594
My job is to help you prepare.
886
00:57:04,299 --> 00:57:07,028
Now, you said trust my feelings.
I did.
887
00:57:07,601 --> 00:57:10,797
I didn't know you felt like
breaking all your clubs...
888
00:57:10,938 --> 00:57:13,031
...and getting in a contest
with your caddy.
889
00:57:13,206 --> 00:57:14,298
Who quit.
890
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:15,874
He always quits.
891
00:57:17,543 --> 00:57:18,533
He ought to be here.
892
00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:19,539
To the quitter.
893
00:57:21,447 --> 00:57:22,540
The little quitter.
894
00:57:23,215 --> 00:57:24,113
Nonetheless.
895
00:57:24,317 --> 00:57:25,614
Nonetheless...
896
00:57:26,319 --> 00:57:29,379
...from the mental aspect,
which is my domain...
897
00:57:29,622 --> 00:57:31,453
...you've regressed.
898
00:57:31,958 --> 00:57:34,620
And are fumbling between
delusion and denial.
899
00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:36,727
Regression, delusion, denial.
900
00:57:36,896 --> 00:57:39,729
Why must you use all the
psychological language?
901
00:57:41,132 --> 00:57:42,566
Having a bad day?
902
00:57:44,469 --> 00:57:45,401
No.
903
00:57:45,569 --> 00:57:46,730
Hi, honey.
904
00:57:49,841 --> 00:57:50,830
Shot a 65.
905
00:57:52,644 --> 00:57:54,839
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.
906
00:57:55,580 --> 00:57:56,478
Why?
907
00:57:56,647 --> 00:57:59,583
Yeah, that's exactly right.
That's the question, "Why?"
908
00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:01,843
Because he broke his other clubs.
909
00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:03,915
Snapped them in two.
910
00:58:04,755 --> 00:58:06,655
- Jesus.
- Not all of them.
911
00:58:06,857 --> 00:58:08,415
Romeo broke two.
912
00:58:10,861 --> 00:58:12,589
I'm on your side here.
913
00:58:12,763 --> 00:58:14,423
We go way back.
914
00:58:14,598 --> 00:58:17,760
I hope you qualify for the Open.
But if you do...
915
00:58:17,934 --> 00:58:20,164
...you better play with control...
916
00:58:20,436 --> 00:58:22,427
...or you'll get slaughtered.
917
00:58:22,605 --> 00:58:26,006
Good players shoot an 82 in the Open.
918
00:58:26,509 --> 00:58:27,999
You see...
919
00:58:28,177 --> 00:58:30,610
...it means you just can't go for it.
920
00:58:31,014 --> 00:58:34,949
I swear to God, this guy is
not who you think he is.
921
00:58:35,117 --> 00:58:36,675
It's a known fact...
922
00:58:36,885 --> 00:58:39,786
...if a camera's not on him he treats
old people and kids like dirt.
923
00:58:39,955 --> 00:58:40,944
And dogs.
924
00:58:41,289 --> 00:58:42,516
Jesus.
925
00:58:42,791 --> 00:58:44,782
Yeah, don't forget dogs.
926
00:58:45,394 --> 00:58:48,693
Okay, guys. You know what?
We better go. Come on.
927
00:58:48,896 --> 00:58:50,193
I guess so.
928
00:58:51,966 --> 00:58:54,196
You ever shoot par with a 7-iron?
929
00:58:57,038 --> 00:58:58,801
Hell, Roy...
930
00:58:58,973 --> 00:59:01,203
...it never occurred to me to try.
931
00:59:02,476 --> 00:59:05,967
I bet you $1,000 against my car
that I can beat you any game.
932
00:59:08,314 --> 00:59:09,474
Any game...
933
00:59:09,649 --> 00:59:10,809
...any golf club.
934
00:59:11,986 --> 00:59:14,419
Come on, Roy, this is ridiculous.
935
00:59:14,554 --> 00:59:15,816
Chicken?
936
00:59:21,995 --> 00:59:25,987
What, are you going to lay up
the way you did in the Masters?
937
00:59:35,441 --> 00:59:37,169
Any game, I name it?
938
00:59:37,676 --> 00:59:41,578
No, it's okay. I'm just going
to teach old Roy here a lesson.
939
00:59:41,947 --> 00:59:45,439
Why do men insist on
measuring their dicks?
940
00:59:50,021 --> 00:59:51,852
All right, let's measure.
941
00:59:53,191 --> 00:59:56,524
Roy! For God's sakes
I wasn't being literal!
942
00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:58,587
David, let's go.
943
00:59:58,763 --> 01:00:01,095
Wait. Molly, I got this one.
944
01:00:01,532 --> 01:00:05,592
We'll just call this Roy's mental
preparation for the U.S. Opening.
945
01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:09,762
Where the rough is deep, the greens
slick, and the nerves shattered.
946
01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:11,763
I'll take the bet.
947
01:00:17,114 --> 01:00:18,479
What's the game?
948
01:00:18,614 --> 01:00:20,606
Your 7-iron, Roy.
949
01:00:22,285 --> 01:00:23,877
One swing each.
950
01:00:24,221 --> 01:00:25,882
Whoever hits the longest.
951
01:00:27,224 --> 01:00:28,281
It's a lock.
952
01:00:28,491 --> 01:00:31,619
I hit the 7-iron like
John Daly hits the 3.
953
01:00:31,793 --> 01:00:33,489
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
954
01:00:38,900 --> 01:00:40,061
Here okay?
955
01:00:40,301 --> 01:00:41,393
Fine.
956
01:00:42,737 --> 01:00:45,228
You guys are really being childish.
957
01:00:45,406 --> 01:00:46,498
Leave it to me.
958
01:00:46,908 --> 01:00:48,568
I know what I'm doing.
959
01:00:49,077 --> 01:00:51,568
You know what? I'll
see you both in the bar.
960
01:00:51,745 --> 01:00:52,644
Bye.
961
01:00:57,317 --> 01:00:58,649
Dollar bills.
962
01:01:04,658 --> 01:01:07,752
Them signs are at
least 30 yards further.
963
01:01:07,928 --> 01:01:10,260
That ball must have gone 220.
964
01:01:10,430 --> 01:01:12,329
Nah, 227.
965
01:01:13,332 --> 01:01:15,028
I toed it, but it'll do!
966
01:01:15,168 --> 01:01:17,432
- That's 227.
- Take your time.
967
01:01:17,603 --> 01:01:19,764
Limber up, fine with me.
968
01:01:21,340 --> 01:01:22,773
That's all right.
969
01:01:22,942 --> 01:01:24,170
I don't need to.
970
01:01:25,343 --> 01:01:26,936
Take your jacket off.
971
01:01:27,847 --> 01:01:29,041
I'm fine.
972
01:01:29,181 --> 01:01:32,844
You'll have to muscle up to get
it out there, give it the old...
973
01:01:33,352 --> 01:01:34,943
...steroid jerk!
974
01:01:42,561 --> 01:01:44,358
What the hell is he doing?
975
01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:08,812
He hit it down the
fucking road, didn't he?
976
01:02:09,220 --> 01:02:10,881
It's still going.
977
01:02:21,331 --> 01:02:24,390
You the man, Roy. You the man.
978
01:02:25,501 --> 01:02:27,491
You are definitely the man.
979
01:02:29,239 --> 01:02:30,227
So long!
980
01:02:30,405 --> 01:02:32,896
And the man needs a ride home.
981
01:02:39,947 --> 01:02:41,778
I always liked that car.
982
01:02:59,799 --> 01:03:01,859
I wish Romeo were here.
983
01:03:02,036 --> 01:03:04,026
I'm not cut out for this shit.
984
01:03:04,205 --> 01:03:05,968
I'm an observer by nature.
985
01:03:06,306 --> 01:03:07,864
Earl, shut up.
986
01:03:08,041 --> 01:03:09,372
Give me the big dog.
987
01:03:09,876 --> 01:03:11,036
Big dog!
988
01:03:11,211 --> 01:03:13,475
I thought that was the big fucking dog.
989
01:03:45,243 --> 01:03:47,336
Here, let me carry that.
990
01:03:57,755 --> 01:03:59,689
- You all right?
- Aw, shit.
991
01:04:01,191 --> 01:04:02,681
Give me the bag.
992
01:04:02,859 --> 01:04:03,689
No.
993
01:04:04,428 --> 01:04:05,690
All right.
994
01:04:09,766 --> 01:04:11,028
Get him.
995
01:04:18,708 --> 01:04:21,541
Like a million others you
made in your life, Roy.
996
01:04:22,379 --> 01:04:24,278
Just see it going in.
997
01:04:25,448 --> 01:04:26,881
Just feel it.
998
01:04:27,883 --> 01:04:30,044
Right in the back of the jar.
999
01:04:55,743 --> 01:04:57,142
Lord
1000
01:04:58,879 --> 01:05:01,405
I can't afford to lose
1001
01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:17,596
Romes, you come back!
1002
01:05:19,098 --> 01:05:20,929
You should've been there.
1003
01:05:21,100 --> 01:05:23,762
I drained a 30-foot snake to qualify.
1004
01:05:23,936 --> 01:05:27,928
Earl gives me the straight read,
thing breaks half a dozen times.
1005
01:05:29,274 --> 01:05:31,936
I missed you, pods. I missed you.
1006
01:05:33,945 --> 01:05:36,436
Okay, don't talk. You're still my guy.
1007
01:05:39,351 --> 01:05:42,787
It's a little late to be pissed off.
We're in the Open.
1008
01:05:43,287 --> 01:05:44,687
You and me.
1009
01:05:47,192 --> 01:05:48,783
Fine, be like that.
1010
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:51,292
Molly been around?
1011
01:05:52,029 --> 01:05:54,361
Neither her nor me or the god of golf...
1012
01:05:54,532 --> 01:05:57,365
...will keep you from
blowing up in the Open.
1013
01:05:57,535 --> 01:05:59,196
I made it this far.
1014
01:05:59,370 --> 01:06:03,807
Didn't I? Didn't I? All I must do is
hold it together for 72 more holes.
1015
01:06:04,208 --> 01:06:07,644
There's a lot of triple-bogies
waiting to grab your white ass.
1016
01:06:07,811 --> 01:06:10,541
You complaining again?
Is that what I hear?
1017
01:06:10,713 --> 01:06:12,045
Shut up.
1018
01:06:12,515 --> 01:06:15,780
You're back whining, pissing,
moaning. You're back.
1019
01:06:16,953 --> 01:06:18,011
You're my man.
1020
01:06:18,688 --> 01:06:21,452
What, you didn't fall in love
with Earl to be your caddy.
1021
01:06:22,458 --> 01:06:24,689
He's a heart attack waiting to happen.
1022
01:06:24,861 --> 01:06:27,124
Cost me 3 strokes a side.
1023
01:06:27,530 --> 01:06:30,293
Hell, I had to carry the
bag the last 4 holes.
1024
01:06:34,136 --> 01:06:35,125
Look...
1025
01:06:35,370 --> 01:06:37,463
...I love old Earl, but...
1026
01:06:37,639 --> 01:06:38,970
...I need you.
1027
01:06:40,375 --> 01:06:41,637
You don't love me?
1028
01:06:43,178 --> 01:06:46,908
Well, yeah, yeah, I love
you too, goddamn it.
1029
01:06:47,415 --> 01:06:49,007
As much as Earl?
1030
01:06:49,684 --> 01:06:51,174
I don't know!
1031
01:06:51,519 --> 01:06:54,181
When I was with Earl,
I was thinking of you.
1032
01:06:58,025 --> 01:07:00,015
Yes, as much as Earl.
1033
01:07:00,260 --> 01:07:01,694
More than Earl.
1034
01:07:03,196 --> 01:07:04,857
More than Earl.
1035
01:07:06,199 --> 01:07:07,427
Am I special?
1036
01:07:10,871 --> 01:07:13,032
If you remove the sexual overtones...
1037
01:07:13,206 --> 01:07:15,765
...and add a golf theme, then, Romeo...
1038
01:07:15,942 --> 01:07:17,773
...I am your Juliet.
1039
01:07:21,548 --> 01:07:22,878
In that case...
1040
01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:24,580
...Julieta...
1041
01:07:25,352 --> 01:07:27,012
...I am your caddy.
1042
01:07:36,227 --> 01:07:38,025
Nobody's heard from Molly?
1043
01:07:38,197 --> 01:07:39,687
You got it bad?
1044
01:07:40,099 --> 01:07:42,033
Something about that chick.
1045
01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:49,539
Little chili-dipper there.
1046
01:07:49,707 --> 01:07:52,539
Be sure to do that in the
Open, it'll impress them.
1047
01:08:02,219 --> 01:08:03,379
I'm watching.
1048
01:08:03,554 --> 01:08:04,612
That ain't a chili-dipper.
1049
01:08:04,788 --> 01:08:08,383
Looks like you got el hosel.
You know, the laterals.
1050
01:08:08,559 --> 01:08:09,787
The "S" word.
1051
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:11,221
What's wrong?
1052
01:08:11,395 --> 01:08:14,124
I don't know. The shanks are
like a virus. They just show up.
1053
01:08:14,297 --> 01:08:15,958
Nobody can figure them out.
1054
01:08:25,908 --> 01:08:27,637
Something's terribly wrong!
1055
01:08:27,977 --> 01:08:29,808
Something's wrong.
1056
01:08:29,979 --> 01:08:31,412
It's okay.
1057
01:08:31,747 --> 01:08:32,735
Well?
1058
01:08:33,248 --> 01:08:34,647
What's your guess?
1059
01:08:34,816 --> 01:08:36,647
It must be the woman.
1060
01:08:36,818 --> 01:08:38,080
You said a virus.
1061
01:08:38,253 --> 01:08:40,585
A woman can have the same effect.
1062
01:08:41,923 --> 01:08:43,754
What do I do?
1063
01:08:46,828 --> 01:08:48,658
Just keep swinging.
1064
01:08:48,829 --> 01:08:50,422
You'll be fine.
1065
01:08:59,274 --> 01:09:01,173
Don't say a fucking word.
1066
01:09:08,282 --> 01:09:10,113
I'll be inside if you need me.
1067
01:09:21,527 --> 01:09:23,188
Just work it out.
1068
01:09:57,395 --> 01:09:58,884
Hello?
1069
01:09:59,230 --> 01:10:00,822
Is anybody home?
1070
01:10:08,071 --> 01:10:09,061
My God!
1071
01:10:14,244 --> 01:10:16,405
Therapist laughs at the patient?
1072
01:10:17,246 --> 01:10:18,680
Is that how it works?
1073
01:10:19,182 --> 01:10:20,240
Is it?
1074
01:10:21,017 --> 01:10:24,418
A man's laid bare before God,
he's the butt of the cosmic joke.
1075
01:10:24,587 --> 01:10:25,746
I'm sorry.
1076
01:10:25,921 --> 01:10:26,853
Really.
1077
01:10:27,022 --> 01:10:30,015
Some of this shit might
actually work, you know.
1078
01:10:30,592 --> 01:10:32,583
There's something to this hat.
1079
01:10:32,928 --> 01:10:35,192
The golf ball pendulum thing.
1080
01:10:36,197 --> 01:10:37,426
May be onto something.
1081
01:10:37,599 --> 01:10:39,589
Oh, Jesus, Roy.
1082
01:10:39,934 --> 01:10:44,701
Quoting yourself, "It is a paraphernalia
for lost and desperate souls. "
1083
01:10:46,207 --> 01:10:49,699
A lost and desperate
soul stands before you.
1084
01:10:50,545 --> 01:10:55,039
I assume I have the confidentiality
of the doctor/client...
1085
01:10:55,450 --> 01:10:57,384
...privilege in regard to this outfit?
1086
01:10:57,552 --> 01:10:58,610
Of course.
1087
01:10:58,885 --> 01:11:00,217
What happened?
1088
01:11:03,224 --> 01:11:04,781
I got the shanks.
1089
01:11:04,959 --> 01:11:06,391
Are you taking penicillin?
1090
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:08,722
There's a glitch in my swing.
1091
01:11:08,895 --> 01:11:10,726
That's Romeo's department.
1092
01:11:10,897 --> 01:11:12,888
He thinks it's your department.
1093
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:14,730
Says it's a head thing.
1094
01:11:16,469 --> 01:11:20,463
I just came over to congratulate
you on the sectionals and...
1095
01:11:20,639 --> 01:11:22,630
...to return your car.
1096
01:11:22,809 --> 01:11:24,571
David just wanted to make a point.
1097
01:11:25,578 --> 01:11:27,136
You know what?
1098
01:11:27,313 --> 01:11:32,250
I suppose we could have a therapy
session right here and now.
1099
01:11:33,752 --> 01:11:35,482
I don't want therapy.
1100
01:11:37,322 --> 01:11:38,914
I want you.
1101
01:11:43,662 --> 01:11:45,151
I want you.
1102
01:11:46,331 --> 01:11:48,265
I must get some air.
1103
01:11:51,002 --> 01:11:52,162
Molly, wait.
1104
01:11:53,772 --> 01:11:54,999
Look at me.
1105
01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:01,601
Well, not at the moment,
but just listen to me.
1106
01:12:05,949 --> 01:12:07,678
You're with the wrong guy.
1107
01:12:08,451 --> 01:12:10,010
I'm the right guy.
1108
01:12:12,689 --> 01:12:15,680
Everyone says my face is
screwed up tight as a drum.
1109
01:12:15,858 --> 01:12:19,624
I know it's because I've
been crazy about you...
1110
01:12:19,796 --> 01:12:22,629
...from the moment you came
here wearing this stupid shit.
1111
01:12:23,633 --> 01:12:28,127
The whole thing's inspired me to get
here and caused me to get the shanks...
1112
01:12:28,304 --> 01:12:32,297
...which would humiliate me in front
of a billion people in a game...
1113
01:12:32,642 --> 01:12:34,632
...I used to play pretty good.
1114
01:12:36,045 --> 01:12:37,807
Such is life.
1115
01:12:41,049 --> 01:12:45,315
So dump that phony bastard you're with
and come to the Open in my corner.
1116
01:12:46,388 --> 01:12:47,150
Tell me...
1117
01:12:47,988 --> 01:12:50,218
...you're not just at least...
1118
01:12:50,825 --> 01:12:52,656
...moderately attracted to me.
1119
01:12:53,727 --> 01:12:55,888
You have moments, Roy.
1120
01:12:56,063 --> 01:13:00,159
You tell me which ones are my
moments and I'll duplicate them.
1121
01:13:00,568 --> 01:13:02,001
This is a moment.
1122
01:13:02,169 --> 01:13:03,158
Now?
1123
01:13:03,736 --> 01:13:07,399
I mean, just utterly exposed,
completely vulnerable...
1124
01:13:07,841 --> 01:13:09,571
...inner child trying to get out.
1125
01:13:09,743 --> 01:13:12,234
Yeah? My inner child needs a spanking?
1126
01:13:21,421 --> 01:13:23,355
I don't have a car.
1127
01:13:23,756 --> 01:13:25,189
Need a ride.
1128
01:13:41,739 --> 01:13:45,733
I know a little spot along the
river that's great to watch sunsets.
1129
01:13:45,943 --> 01:13:47,275
- I do.
- Watch the road.
1130
01:13:47,446 --> 01:13:51,109
- I know a spot that's great for sunsets.
- I bet you do.
1131
01:13:51,450 --> 01:13:53,041
Not tonight.
1132
01:13:54,552 --> 01:13:56,782
That means maybe some other night.
1133
01:13:56,954 --> 01:13:58,546
I didn't mean it like that.
1134
01:13:58,723 --> 01:14:02,055
Maybe consciously you didn't mean
it that way, but unconsciously...
1135
01:14:02,894 --> 01:14:05,384
Did you mean it unconsciously?
1136
01:14:06,397 --> 01:14:10,127
Unconsciously, I don't have a
clue what I'm talking about.
1137
01:14:10,967 --> 01:14:13,060
I feel we're making progress.
1138
01:14:13,236 --> 01:14:14,396
I do too.
1139
01:14:14,738 --> 01:14:18,401
I have no idea what it's
progress towards, though.
1140
01:14:18,742 --> 01:14:21,233
Consciously or unconsciously?
1141
01:14:39,428 --> 01:14:42,760
It may not be much of a
river to you, but to me...
1142
01:14:43,665 --> 01:14:46,156
...the Mississippi, the Rio Grande...
1143
01:14:46,768 --> 01:14:48,497
...the Danube...
1144
01:14:48,770 --> 01:14:50,101
...the Amazon.
1145
01:14:50,271 --> 01:14:52,933
I don't know about the Amazon, Roy.
1146
01:14:56,110 --> 01:14:59,101
Isn't it obvious to you
that you and me are...
1147
01:14:59,280 --> 01:15:01,179
...as comfortable together as...
1148
01:15:01,348 --> 01:15:02,610
...a couple of old shoes?
1149
01:15:03,952 --> 01:15:05,509
Old shoes?
1150
01:15:10,290 --> 01:15:13,123
Look, David's a really good person.
1151
01:15:16,195 --> 01:15:19,529
Whenever anybody says they're
with a really good person...
1152
01:15:19,865 --> 01:15:22,460
...it means they're about to leave them.
1153
01:15:22,803 --> 01:15:24,963
You're awfully judgmental.
1154
01:15:30,042 --> 01:15:32,533
It's one of my few redeeming virtues.
1155
01:15:34,547 --> 01:15:36,980
David's involved in a
lot of charity work.
1156
01:15:37,148 --> 01:15:40,379
- Gets his name in the papers.
- Let me just finish.
1157
01:15:40,553 --> 01:15:42,986
Many people don't see he's sensitive.
1158
01:15:43,154 --> 01:15:45,145
Well, so am I. I mean, hell...
1159
01:15:45,323 --> 01:15:49,156
Shit, I'm twice as sensitive
as he is. I mean, I...
1160
01:15:49,828 --> 01:15:52,159
I brought you to the river.
That's a...
1161
01:15:52,329 --> 01:15:53,819
...nature kind of thing.
1162
01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:59,895
It is a nature kind of thing.
It's a very nice river. Thank you.
1163
01:16:00,838 --> 01:16:04,330
But that's not the point. The point
is David is there for me.
1164
01:16:04,508 --> 01:16:05,668
Oh, God.
1165
01:16:05,843 --> 01:16:07,242
Not the...
1166
01:16:07,411 --> 01:16:10,743
..."He's a very good person
and he's there for me" thing.
1167
01:16:11,014 --> 01:16:12,414
Let me be your shrink.
1168
01:16:12,582 --> 01:16:14,243
That's not a good idea.
1169
01:16:14,417 --> 01:16:17,012
You sound like a woman
looking for a way out.
1170
01:16:20,590 --> 01:16:21,852
Warm?
1171
01:16:23,926 --> 01:16:25,517
That's enough, Roy.
1172
01:16:29,098 --> 01:16:30,257
I'm sorry.
1173
01:16:45,380 --> 01:16:46,937
We could kiss.
1174
01:16:47,548 --> 01:16:50,381
No, look, no harm, no foul just a...
1175
01:16:50,786 --> 01:16:53,277
...little, small, innocent kind of...
1176
01:16:53,454 --> 01:16:54,614
...kind of...
1177
01:16:55,456 --> 01:16:56,946
...semi...
1178
01:16:57,625 --> 01:16:58,956
...platonic...
1179
01:17:03,230 --> 01:17:05,789
Roy, there's no such thing as...
1180
01:17:05,966 --> 01:17:08,126
...semi-platonic, Roy.
1181
01:17:09,969 --> 01:17:11,402
There ought to be.
1182
01:17:15,408 --> 01:17:17,399
You should take me home.
1183
01:17:45,169 --> 01:17:45,829
Well...
1184
01:17:47,105 --> 01:17:49,005
Good luck in the Open.
1185
01:19:46,551 --> 01:19:48,212
It's got your name on it.
1186
01:19:49,721 --> 01:19:52,121
It's Lee Janzen and Billy Mayfair.
1187
01:19:53,958 --> 01:19:55,892
They look just like they do on TV.
1188
01:19:56,060 --> 01:19:57,049
Look.
1189
01:20:00,064 --> 01:20:01,554
Look at these balls.
1190
01:20:01,966 --> 01:20:03,399
Brand-new Titleist.
1191
01:20:03,968 --> 01:20:05,060
Look at them.
1192
01:20:05,236 --> 01:20:07,465
Every one of them, brand-new Titleist.
1193
01:20:09,072 --> 01:20:11,131
Sneak a few in the bag.
1194
01:20:11,574 --> 01:20:15,476
We swipe enough free shit,
we may pay for this fiasco.
1195
01:20:16,312 --> 01:20:19,645
Would it be inappropriate if I asked
Lee Janzen for his autograph?
1196
01:20:19,816 --> 01:20:24,752
I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I
got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.
1197
01:20:26,588 --> 01:20:28,989
Hit the 7.
You always hit that good.
1198
01:20:29,424 --> 01:20:30,322
Good thinking.
1199
01:20:30,492 --> 01:20:31,824
Come on, man.
1200
01:20:34,263 --> 01:20:35,821
Keep your head down.
1201
01:20:36,098 --> 01:20:37,929
You're making me nervous.
1202
01:20:44,006 --> 01:20:45,667
- Who hit that shot?!
- Yeah, who hit it?
1203
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:46,932
Anyone see?
1204
01:20:47,109 --> 01:20:48,439
You're supposed to be pros!
1205
01:20:49,610 --> 01:20:51,840
- A little thin.
- A little fucking thin.
1206
01:20:52,013 --> 01:20:53,503
I still got the shanks.
1207
01:20:53,681 --> 01:20:55,512
- Don't worry.
- Everyone's watching.
1208
01:20:55,683 --> 01:20:56,945
Nobody's watching.
1209
01:20:57,118 --> 01:20:59,848
Just hit them up. Just stand
up there. You can do it.
1210
01:21:14,367 --> 01:21:17,029
The guys down the line
are a little concerned.
1211
01:21:17,470 --> 01:21:18,459
You're Tin Cup?
1212
01:21:18,638 --> 01:21:21,800
Right, McAvoy from West Texas.
We're from West Texas.
1213
01:21:21,975 --> 01:21:23,033
Try aiming left.
1214
01:21:23,209 --> 01:21:25,972
Try backing up and giving
me just a little room.
1215
01:21:29,982 --> 01:21:31,210
That's Johnny Miller.
1216
01:21:31,383 --> 01:21:32,907
I don't give a fuck.
1217
01:21:33,252 --> 01:21:34,742
Jesus, Cup.
1218
01:21:35,087 --> 01:21:37,520
- Can I have your autograph.
- No problem. To who?
1219
01:21:38,590 --> 01:21:40,251
To Romeo, my best friend,
1220
01:21:41,359 --> 01:21:42,588
Good luck to you guys.
1221
01:21:42,927 --> 01:21:46,261
You might want to make plane
reservations soon, the way you're hitting.
1222
01:21:46,432 --> 01:21:48,695
Great Open in '73.
1223
01:21:48,866 --> 01:21:50,800
- What a nice guy.
- Did you get his autograph?
1224
01:21:50,868 --> 01:21:53,837
- Yeah, look... my best friend.
- See who's over there?
1225
01:21:54,205 --> 01:21:55,194
Jesus Christ.
1226
01:21:55,372 --> 01:21:57,364
It's only an autograph, man.
1227
01:21:57,709 --> 01:21:59,438
Simms is here.
1228
01:22:02,479 --> 01:22:04,038
Shit.
1229
01:22:04,214 --> 01:22:06,273
Hit your putter, you can't shank.
1230
01:22:06,350 --> 01:22:09,717
You're the Mexican Mac O'Grady.
Figure out why I'm shanking.
1231
01:22:10,119 --> 01:22:12,054
- Now what?
- Shoot.
1232
01:22:12,221 --> 01:22:14,213
I'm catching it on the hosel?
1233
01:22:14,825 --> 01:22:16,315
Moving my head?
1234
01:22:16,626 --> 01:22:18,617
- I'm laying it off?
- That, too.
1235
01:22:18,829 --> 01:22:19,887
I'm pronating.
1236
01:22:20,062 --> 01:22:23,725
- When you're not supinating.
- I'm clearing too early, too late.
1237
01:22:23,899 --> 01:22:26,231
My swing feels like an unfolding chair!
1238
01:22:29,739 --> 01:22:31,730
Put your change in your left pocket.
1239
01:22:32,508 --> 01:22:33,998
Go on, do it.
1240
01:22:38,347 --> 01:22:41,406
Now, tie your left
shoe in a double knot.
1241
01:22:41,583 --> 01:22:44,074
- Tie my left shoe?
- Right now, do it!
1242
01:22:51,092 --> 01:22:52,525
Turn the hat backwards.
1243
01:22:52,794 --> 01:22:55,125
Turn your hat around.
Do it, Roy!
1244
01:22:59,533 --> 01:23:00,762
Take this tee...
1245
01:23:00,935 --> 01:23:02,265
...and stick it...
1246
01:23:02,870 --> 01:23:04,167
...behind your left ear.
1247
01:23:06,673 --> 01:23:08,264
I look like a fool!
1248
01:23:08,442 --> 01:23:12,435
What do you think you look like
shooting chili peppers up Janzen's ass?
1249
01:23:14,381 --> 01:23:16,679
Do it now or I'm going to quit.
1250
01:23:16,883 --> 01:23:18,874
I swear to God I'll quit.
1251
01:23:20,286 --> 01:23:21,446
Good.
1252
01:23:21,621 --> 01:23:22,610
Take this ball...
1253
01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,780
...and hit it up the fairway.
1254
01:23:24,957 --> 01:23:26,116
You're ready.
1255
01:23:40,806 --> 01:23:42,068
How'd I do that?
1256
01:23:42,207 --> 01:23:46,142
Because you're not thinking
about shanking or Molly.
1257
01:23:46,310 --> 01:23:47,573
You're not thinking.
1258
01:23:47,712 --> 01:23:50,703
You're looking like a fool,
hitting the ball pure and simple...
1259
01:23:50,916 --> 01:23:51,643
Fuck you.
1260
01:23:51,817 --> 01:23:54,478
Fuck me, huh? Well, you're cured.
1261
01:23:56,720 --> 01:23:57,982
That's it?
1262
01:23:58,722 --> 01:23:59,984
That's it.
1263
01:24:00,157 --> 01:24:02,318
Your brain was getting in the way.
1264
01:24:03,928 --> 01:24:06,088
That's hardly ever been the case.
1265
01:24:06,230 --> 01:24:07,595
No shit, Sherlock.
1266
01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:08,992
What next?
1267
01:24:11,101 --> 01:24:13,592
You should work on
your short game but...
1268
01:24:14,338 --> 01:24:15,599
...get drunk.
1269
01:24:15,738 --> 01:24:17,171
Get drunk?
1270
01:24:17,841 --> 01:24:19,433
You play better.
1271
01:24:21,611 --> 01:24:23,169
Remember Brownsville?
1272
01:24:25,348 --> 01:24:26,110
Come on.
1273
01:24:26,249 --> 01:24:27,443
When do I tee off?
1274
01:24:27,617 --> 01:24:30,107
At 7:08. We're the first guys going.
1275
01:24:30,252 --> 01:24:32,516
Come on, one more, just do it.
1276
01:24:32,688 --> 01:24:33,518
Come on.
1277
01:24:33,689 --> 01:24:35,623
- Get it down.
- That's in 4 hours.
1278
01:24:35,757 --> 01:24:36,451
Right.
1279
01:24:40,195 --> 01:24:44,131
Here's to the finely-tuned
athlete on the verge of greatness.
1280
01:25:01,348 --> 01:25:02,838
Should have set an alarm.
1281
01:25:05,153 --> 01:25:06,779
The 7:08 pairing...
1282
01:25:06,988 --> 01:25:10,047
...from Salami, Texas, Mr. Roy McAvoy.
1283
01:25:11,291 --> 01:25:13,156
Any time for a quick bucket?
1284
01:25:13,293 --> 01:25:14,282
Tee it up.
1285
01:25:16,496 --> 01:25:19,556
We almost missed the starting
time getting you off the floor.
1286
01:25:19,733 --> 01:25:22,667
You don't handle hooch like you used to.
1287
01:25:23,802 --> 01:25:27,671
I've seen this hole on TV.
Hit the big dog up the chute.
1288
01:25:27,806 --> 01:25:31,674
I've learned my lesson.
I'll play it safe, smart...
1289
01:25:32,244 --> 01:25:33,677
...conservative.
1290
01:25:34,512 --> 01:25:36,913
Fairways and greens. Hand me a 2-iron.
1291
01:25:37,316 --> 01:25:38,247
You sure?
1292
01:25:43,021 --> 01:25:44,421
Here we go.
1293
01:25:51,596 --> 01:25:53,257
Not a good day.
1294
01:25:54,097 --> 01:25:55,531
Be humble.
1295
01:26:02,540 --> 01:26:03,767
Be humble.
1296
01:26:03,941 --> 01:26:04,930
83.
1297
01:26:05,276 --> 01:26:06,936
You're humble now, homes.
1298
01:26:07,344 --> 01:26:09,038
I was hungover.
1299
01:26:10,247 --> 01:26:12,214
Maybe that was a coaching mistake.
1300
01:26:12,349 --> 01:26:15,216
Yeah, maybe it was.
Thanks, amigo.
1301
01:26:15,785 --> 01:26:17,218
David Simms...
1302
01:26:17,353 --> 01:26:21,847
...is the first-round leader at the
U.S. Open after a brilliant 67.
1303
01:26:22,558 --> 01:26:24,719
Well, Jim, I must tell you...
1304
01:26:24,860 --> 01:26:29,229
...I didn't expect to go out
there right out and shoot a 67.
1305
01:26:31,967 --> 01:26:35,562
I've marveled at how you've been
able to balance superb play...
1306
01:26:35,737 --> 01:26:37,637
...with the energy you give...
1307
01:26:37,806 --> 01:26:40,468
...to so many charities
and all of your fans.
1308
01:26:40,642 --> 01:26:43,975
Well, you know I...
This game is about...
1309
01:26:44,145 --> 01:26:46,636
...tradition and integrity and honor.
1310
01:26:46,881 --> 01:26:49,816
You know, the U.S. Open is it for us.
1311
01:26:49,985 --> 01:26:53,750
So I'm going to go out tomorrow
and try to make some good swings.
1312
01:26:53,888 --> 01:26:55,149
Lord willing...
1313
01:26:55,489 --> 01:26:56,888
...I'll do well and...
1314
01:26:57,092 --> 01:26:59,491
The Anti-Christ shoots 67.
1315
01:27:00,094 --> 01:27:01,254
Believe that?
1316
01:27:01,395 --> 01:27:04,762
Yeah, the old Antichrist
had a hot putter today.
1317
01:27:05,332 --> 01:27:06,663
Good seeing you.
1318
01:27:08,501 --> 01:27:11,265
Be well, buddy. I'll see
you out in the trenches.
1319
01:27:12,272 --> 01:27:14,001
I must run right now...
1320
01:27:14,173 --> 01:27:15,834
...but I'll see you later.
1321
01:27:16,410 --> 01:27:18,775
Christ Almighty Jesus.
1322
01:27:19,912 --> 01:27:21,675
The cover or nothing.
1323
01:27:21,848 --> 01:27:25,180
They want you for USA Weekend.
We're saying it's the cover or no go.
1324
01:27:27,420 --> 01:27:29,114
Excuse me, Mr. Simms.
1325
01:27:29,288 --> 01:27:31,779
Would you give our
grandson an autograph?
1326
01:27:31,923 --> 01:27:33,288
Please, Mr. Simms?
1327
01:27:33,426 --> 01:27:36,417
Can you people not see that
I'm busy? I'm working.
1328
01:27:36,695 --> 01:27:38,128
This is my office.
1329
01:27:38,297 --> 01:27:40,925
Do I come to your office
and ask for an autograph?
1330
01:27:41,133 --> 01:27:42,430
I don't think so.
1331
01:27:42,634 --> 01:27:43,861
Jesus.
1332
01:27:44,035 --> 01:27:45,435
What an ugly dog.
1333
01:27:46,438 --> 01:27:48,302
It's okay, Joe.
1334
01:28:01,952 --> 01:28:03,647
- Nice playing.
- Hell of a round.
1335
01:28:03,887 --> 01:28:05,048
Great start.
1336
01:28:05,222 --> 01:28:07,053
I got lucky out there.
1337
01:28:09,893 --> 01:28:11,156
Hello, Cup.
1338
01:28:12,829 --> 01:28:16,390
I heard you put a monster
number up there.
1339
01:28:16,566 --> 01:28:18,557
It could have been worse.
1340
01:28:19,402 --> 01:28:23,735
I played in the Pro-Am with some
asshole movie star here once.
1341
01:28:25,075 --> 01:28:26,837
Shot an 82.
1342
01:28:27,576 --> 01:28:29,568
Now, how in the world...
1343
01:28:29,745 --> 01:28:32,680
...can a great ball-striker like you...
1344
01:28:32,981 --> 01:28:34,175
...a legend...
1345
01:28:35,851 --> 01:28:38,081
...manage to put up an 83?
1346
01:28:38,687 --> 01:28:41,485
Well, I missed a 4-foot putt on 18...
1347
01:28:41,689 --> 01:28:43,089
...for an 82.
1348
01:28:43,691 --> 01:28:44,988
That's how.
1349
01:28:45,426 --> 01:28:49,590
Ain't like playing some muni-track
in Brownsville, is it?
1350
01:28:50,499 --> 01:28:53,365
Does "integrity, tradition and honor"...
1351
01:28:53,768 --> 01:28:55,997
...include kicking a man when he's down?
1352
01:28:59,107 --> 01:29:01,097
This is just guy stuff.
1353
01:29:02,109 --> 01:29:03,509
It's just bar talk.
1354
01:29:03,710 --> 01:29:04,439
No offense?
1355
01:29:04,945 --> 01:29:07,778
This man still has a lot of
great golf shots in his system.
1356
01:29:07,948 --> 01:29:09,438
It's okay. Go away.
1357
01:29:09,616 --> 01:29:12,608
Just... I don't need any
attention right now.
1358
01:29:12,886 --> 01:29:16,378
I'll bet you $100 that
Roy can hit a ball...
1359
01:29:16,523 --> 01:29:19,218
...through the door, over
the patio into the river.
1360
01:29:19,392 --> 01:29:22,293
And, Harold, give me a
vodka tonic with a twist.
1361
01:29:23,963 --> 01:29:26,125
Really, this isn't dignified.
1362
01:29:27,233 --> 01:29:29,292
Oh, I am so sorry.
1363
01:29:30,636 --> 01:29:32,228
I just want to go home.
1364
01:29:33,138 --> 01:29:34,628
What about the river?
1365
01:29:35,240 --> 01:29:38,404
The piranha, the immortality,
all that bullshit?
1366
01:29:38,977 --> 01:29:41,741
You going to drag your
ass home with an 83?
1367
01:29:44,816 --> 01:29:46,306
$200.
1368
01:29:46,818 --> 01:29:47,909
For $200...
1369
01:29:48,653 --> 01:29:53,488
...Roy can hit the ball through the bar,
out the patio, into the river...
1370
01:29:53,658 --> 01:29:57,059
...and make that pelican
right there fly off its post.
1371
01:29:57,429 --> 01:29:58,919
From right here.
1372
01:30:02,766 --> 01:30:03,824
God Almighty.
1373
01:30:04,001 --> 01:30:05,661
This is ridiculous.
1374
01:30:09,572 --> 01:30:11,767
You got the shot, pods.
1375
01:30:12,276 --> 01:30:14,005
Romeo, shut up.
1376
01:30:14,445 --> 01:30:18,005
Just turn it over and start it
off low and go it right to left...
1377
01:30:18,182 --> 01:30:19,273
He can do it.
1378
01:30:19,449 --> 01:30:24,079
You can do it. And I'm not leaving till
one of you men act in a manly fashion.
1379
01:30:24,287 --> 01:30:26,187
Can we get this over with?
1380
01:30:33,795 --> 01:30:35,023
One ball...
1381
01:30:35,197 --> 01:30:36,790
...one swing...
1382
01:30:38,601 --> 01:30:39,362
...one...
1383
01:30:40,368 --> 01:30:41,596
...pelican.
1384
01:30:42,471 --> 01:30:43,460
From there.
1385
01:30:44,473 --> 01:30:45,599
You can do it.
1386
01:30:45,806 --> 01:30:48,104
You're the man. Shut him up.
1387
01:30:58,319 --> 01:30:59,718
One swing?
1388
01:30:59,887 --> 01:31:01,218
One swing.
1389
01:31:01,387 --> 01:31:02,320
4 to 1.
1390
01:31:02,490 --> 01:31:03,979
Give him 10-1.
1391
01:31:06,727 --> 01:31:08,319
I'll need a fairway.
1392
01:31:08,495 --> 01:31:09,985
Here's what he's got.
1393
01:31:10,129 --> 01:31:14,828
30 yards of bar and grill, then must go
through the doors, over umbrellas...
1394
01:31:15,001 --> 01:31:16,832
...then carry 30 yards of river.
1395
01:31:17,003 --> 01:31:19,233
He must pop that pelican off its perch.
1396
01:31:19,405 --> 01:31:21,236
Kind of a thin line.
1397
01:31:21,407 --> 01:31:24,501
Beats that deep shit
rough you were in all day.
1398
01:31:25,711 --> 01:31:27,043
Pelican's on the other side.
1399
01:31:27,514 --> 01:31:29,504
What a tough shot.
1400
01:31:29,748 --> 01:31:34,344
He's just got to be thinking of that
brutal, ego-sapping, manhood-robbing...
1401
01:31:34,521 --> 01:31:37,011
...83 he buried himself under today.
1402
01:31:37,155 --> 01:31:38,747
That's an avalanche of strokes.
1403
01:31:39,591 --> 01:31:41,149
Get control of that guy.
1404
01:31:41,360 --> 01:31:43,418
Will you shut up? Get down.
1405
01:31:56,940 --> 01:31:58,601
Did you see that shot?!
1406
01:31:58,876 --> 01:32:00,536
Oh, my God!
1407
01:32:05,782 --> 01:32:07,272
That should cover it.
1408
01:32:09,119 --> 01:32:10,052
You know...
1409
01:32:11,288 --> 01:32:13,279
...you're all fucking nuts.
1410
01:32:23,198 --> 01:32:26,690
You really look good.
1411
01:32:29,138 --> 01:32:30,230
Oh, God.
1412
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:01,433
Oh, my God.
1413
01:33:01,835 --> 01:33:03,826
I kind of shanked that.
1414
01:33:06,173 --> 01:33:07,105
Come on!
1415
01:33:07,342 --> 01:33:08,501
Shit.
1416
01:33:09,242 --> 01:33:10,504
God.
1417
01:33:11,244 --> 01:33:13,235
Shit, man.
1418
01:33:13,614 --> 01:33:15,343
Tempo's everything.
1419
01:33:18,452 --> 01:33:19,611
Perfection is...
1420
01:33:19,752 --> 01:33:21,242
...unattainable.
1421
01:33:23,623 --> 01:33:25,614
You know, someone said...
1422
01:33:25,758 --> 01:33:30,024
...golf and sex are the only things
you don't have to be good at to enjoy.
1423
01:33:33,265 --> 01:33:34,630
Can I have a Mulligan?
1424
01:33:34,766 --> 01:33:36,631
- A what?
- Mulligan.
1425
01:33:36,768 --> 01:33:38,202
What's a Mulligan?
1426
01:33:40,039 --> 01:33:41,699
Just hold still...
1427
01:33:41,873 --> 01:33:43,135
...don't move...
1428
01:33:43,274 --> 01:33:44,764
...and I'll show you.
1429
01:33:45,143 --> 01:33:48,270
In fact, wait a minute,
get on top. I'll show you.
1430
01:33:48,480 --> 01:33:49,708
I'll tee it up.
1431
01:33:51,149 --> 01:33:53,140
Come on, Roy.
1432
01:34:13,503 --> 01:34:15,994
Welcome everyone,
Jim Nantz with Ken Venturi.
1433
01:34:16,173 --> 01:34:18,003
The sun's struggling to appear.
1434
01:34:18,174 --> 01:34:20,836
The course is drying up.
In case you're just joining us...
1435
01:34:21,010 --> 01:34:25,412
...David Simms is tied for the lead
at 5 under par with Peter Jacobsen.
1436
01:34:25,580 --> 01:34:29,677
But the real story today
involves a driving range pro...
1437
01:34:29,919 --> 01:34:33,081
...who shot an opening
round 83 yesterday...
1438
01:34:33,422 --> 01:34:36,084
...but is now making U.S. Open history.
1439
01:34:36,258 --> 01:34:40,092
The single round record in Open history
is in jeopardy because of McAvoy.
1440
01:34:40,162 --> 01:34:44,064
Another driving range pro,
it's all we needed.
1441
01:34:44,199 --> 01:34:48,032
It's heroes that I need.
Not obscure driving range pros.
1442
01:34:48,202 --> 01:34:50,194
Okay, Ben, back at 16.
1443
01:34:51,539 --> 01:34:55,942
This putt he's studied from every
angle and I'm sure he knows...
1444
01:34:56,110 --> 01:34:59,204
...it's got to be firm on the
left-hand edge with this putt.
1445
01:34:59,346 --> 01:35:02,941
Get thumbnails on these guys.
I don't know where he's from...
1446
01:35:03,116 --> 01:35:06,553
...but here he is, going
ten under, if he makes it.
1447
01:35:09,622 --> 01:35:11,853
Look at that. Smooth as silk.
1448
01:35:12,058 --> 01:35:13,548
He's made it!
1449
01:35:13,960 --> 01:35:16,724
10 under par for McAvoy!
1450
01:35:17,063 --> 01:35:18,724
Man alive!
1451
01:35:18,864 --> 01:35:22,356
This is the stuff
of legend, I would say.
1452
01:35:25,572 --> 01:35:26,971
Who is McAvoy?
1453
01:35:28,141 --> 01:35:30,370
You ever hear of this McAvoy guy?
1454
01:35:30,809 --> 01:35:34,973
Roy McAvoy, after a par at 17.
An eagle to shoot 60...
1455
01:35:35,481 --> 01:35:38,814
...although no one has knocked it
onto the green in 2 here today.
1456
01:35:38,984 --> 01:35:40,975
It's not a shot you want
to be aggressive with.
1457
01:35:41,085 --> 01:35:43,077
You gotta be conservative,
you gotta think to shot out.
1458
01:35:43,155 --> 01:35:44,087
He's in great position.
1459
01:35:44,489 --> 01:35:46,481
It's a 3 shot par 5.
1460
01:35:46,657 --> 01:35:49,388
Especially today, a
little wind in the face.
1461
01:35:49,594 --> 01:35:52,893
John Daly ended up in the water
going for this green in two.
1462
01:35:53,097 --> 01:35:55,588
237, man, to carry that water.
1463
01:36:00,338 --> 01:36:01,827
237, man.
1464
01:36:09,680 --> 01:36:10,907
3- wood.
1465
01:36:18,521 --> 01:36:19,351
Hit hard.
1466
01:36:19,522 --> 01:36:23,686
Jimmy, if he lays up, he
takes the bogey out of play.
1467
01:36:23,859 --> 01:36:27,022
He goes for the green,
he brings 6 in, he brings 7 in.
1468
01:36:27,196 --> 01:36:29,289
He must remember he's in contention.
1469
01:36:29,565 --> 01:36:32,159
He has a chance to win.
He must play smart.
1470
01:36:44,045 --> 01:36:45,876
He didn't have enough club.
1471
01:36:47,315 --> 01:36:48,805
Well, what the hell?
1472
01:36:48,950 --> 01:36:51,043
You ride her until she bucks you...
1473
01:36:51,386 --> 01:36:52,876
...or don't ride at all.
1474
01:36:53,053 --> 01:36:55,955
If he can still knock a
wedge close and make par...
1475
01:36:56,323 --> 01:37:00,555
...it'd be one of the most
remarkable turn-arounds in history.
1476
01:37:00,727 --> 01:37:04,721
He's got 85 yards from here and the
drop zone is short of the water.
1477
01:37:04,898 --> 01:37:09,062
He'll need to get it on the upper
level of the multi-terraced green.
1478
01:37:13,739 --> 01:37:18,676
That's a good solid shot leaving
him about 12 feet away for par.
1479
01:37:18,845 --> 01:37:20,676
A par and 62...
1480
01:37:20,913 --> 01:37:23,848
...the all-time Open round record.
1481
01:37:35,694 --> 01:37:36,592
Good stroke.
1482
01:37:36,761 --> 01:37:37,693
He's got it.
1483
01:37:38,197 --> 01:37:39,185
Unbelievable.
1484
01:37:39,364 --> 01:37:41,355
McAvoy has done it.
1485
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:45,593
You just saw the greatest round
in U.S. Open history.
1486
01:37:45,770 --> 01:37:47,361
62.
1487
01:37:48,206 --> 01:37:52,768
The all-time lowest round in a major
doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus...
1488
01:37:53,010 --> 01:37:54,876
...or an Arnold Palmer...
1489
01:37:55,012 --> 01:37:56,604
...Hogan or Sneed.
1490
01:37:56,781 --> 01:37:59,442
It's been shot by the
most improbable artist.
1491
01:37:59,617 --> 01:38:01,881
Roy McAvoy has his signature...
1492
01:38:02,019 --> 01:38:04,748
...on golf's all-time
masterpiece round.
1493
01:38:12,462 --> 01:38:17,229
I've got money from the bet.
Let's go somewhere fancy and celebrate.
1494
01:38:17,533 --> 01:38:21,230
There's nothing to celebrate.
Besides, these are my people.
1495
01:38:22,038 --> 01:38:25,633
I'm a Waffle House guy.
Got to stay in touch with that.
1496
01:38:25,909 --> 01:38:27,809
Plus, he needs his carbohydrates.
1497
01:38:27,976 --> 01:38:31,742
Plus, if the boys in Salome
were in town, they'd come here.
1498
01:38:33,483 --> 01:38:34,540
The legend!
1499
01:38:34,816 --> 01:38:37,149
We've been on a bus 2 days.
1500
01:38:40,656 --> 01:38:41,884
It's so good to see you.
1501
01:38:42,491 --> 01:38:44,254
Sweet 62!
1502
01:38:44,760 --> 01:38:46,660
Put the tables together.
1503
01:38:49,931 --> 01:38:51,558
Does this feel like home?
1504
01:38:51,832 --> 01:38:54,824
We just want you to know we
are with you all the way.
1505
01:38:55,002 --> 01:38:57,266
Doreen, meet Dr. Griswold.
1506
01:38:58,072 --> 01:38:59,266
This is Molly.
1507
01:39:00,441 --> 01:39:01,271
She's my shrink.
1508
01:39:01,776 --> 01:39:03,504
Well, ex-shrink.
1509
01:39:03,677 --> 01:39:06,168
We're sleeping together, so I can't be.
1510
01:39:06,780 --> 01:39:08,180
Knew it. Thanks.
1511
01:39:08,349 --> 01:39:09,508
Knew what?
1512
01:39:09,683 --> 01:39:10,775
Nothing.
1513
01:39:10,951 --> 01:39:11,940
Good luck.
1514
01:39:12,686 --> 01:39:15,849
You know what? I've got
a little extra cash...
1515
01:39:16,022 --> 01:39:19,458
...why don't we go somewhere
a little fancy and celebrate?
1516
01:39:19,591 --> 01:39:20,456
Why?
1517
01:39:21,094 --> 01:39:22,355
In honor of...
1518
01:39:22,528 --> 01:39:23,461
It's the Waffle House.
1519
01:39:23,595 --> 01:39:24,858
I know.
1520
01:39:25,031 --> 01:39:28,466
I've been dreaming about
waffles for 1,800 miles.
1521
01:39:28,600 --> 01:39:29,966
Me too.
1522
01:39:30,102 --> 01:39:33,093
There's a Waffle House like
this in Odessa, Texas.
1523
01:39:34,106 --> 01:39:34,970
No, Midlands.
1524
01:39:35,107 --> 01:39:36,368
It's in Odessa.
1525
01:39:36,542 --> 01:39:39,875
It's in Odessa. I'm from Odessa.
I was born there.
1526
01:39:40,045 --> 01:39:41,477
That's where it is.
1527
01:39:41,613 --> 01:39:42,807
The man.
1528
01:39:42,982 --> 01:39:44,039
To the Cup!
1529
01:39:44,215 --> 01:39:45,045
Cup Man!
1530
01:39:45,216 --> 01:39:46,616
You didn't have to do that.
1531
01:39:47,885 --> 01:39:49,820
You look lovely tonight.
1532
01:39:50,388 --> 01:39:51,719
Thank you.
1533
01:39:53,391 --> 01:39:56,383
I don't know if anyone told you,
but you're a great dancer.
1534
01:39:57,494 --> 01:39:58,620
Really?
1535
01:39:59,229 --> 01:40:02,563
But they had one there.
That's all I'm saying.
1536
01:40:02,734 --> 01:40:04,326
It was Odessa.
1537
01:40:04,501 --> 01:40:07,334
That's not what I was talking about,
you know where we stopped.
1538
01:40:07,504 --> 01:40:09,631
There's an easy way to figure this out.
1539
01:40:09,840 --> 01:40:11,330
You ever tango?
1540
01:40:13,010 --> 01:40:14,500
No.
1541
01:40:15,244 --> 01:40:16,405
Do you?
1542
01:40:19,850 --> 01:40:21,840
Romeo, you dance?
1543
01:40:22,651 --> 01:40:24,414
It doesn't matter!
1544
01:40:25,522 --> 01:40:27,648
It doesn't get much better than this.
1545
01:40:32,161 --> 01:40:37,029
This extraordinary Roy McAvoy,
he just won't go away.
1546
01:40:37,198 --> 01:40:41,430
This humble pro from Salome,
wherever that is.
1547
01:40:41,603 --> 01:40:44,163
- Little town, west Texas.
- It hasn't been discovered yet.
1548
01:40:44,373 --> 01:40:46,363
Over to 18, guys, quickly.
1549
01:40:46,541 --> 01:40:48,441
John Cook at the par 518th.
1550
01:40:48,610 --> 01:40:52,773
No stranger to championship play.
And he's going to lay up.
1551
01:40:54,115 --> 01:40:56,606
Meanwhile, here's Roy McAvoy.
1552
01:40:56,784 --> 01:40:59,548
He has the same shot he knocked
in the water yesterday.
1553
01:40:59,686 --> 01:41:02,553
The thing to do is tune out the
gallery saying "go for it. "
1554
01:41:02,689 --> 01:41:06,125
He's back in contention, but he
must continue to play smart.
1555
01:41:06,393 --> 01:41:07,791
Give me a 3-wood.
1556
01:41:12,799 --> 01:41:17,066
He's pulled the 3-wood and he continues
to play without an ounce of fear.
1557
01:41:17,203 --> 01:41:19,262
That is just inexperience,
just pure and simple.
1558
01:41:19,706 --> 01:41:23,072
This is for Venturi up in the
booth thinking I should lay up.
1559
01:41:23,576 --> 01:41:27,569
What does he know? He only won this
tournament before you were born.
1560
01:41:33,218 --> 01:41:38,155
Caught it a little bit high, a breeze
in his face. That's got to go.
1561
01:41:38,790 --> 01:41:41,554
- He's done it again.
- No, not again.
1562
01:41:41,827 --> 01:41:44,921
He has found the water for
the third straight day.
1563
01:41:45,097 --> 01:41:46,826
What was he thinking about?
1564
01:41:46,998 --> 01:41:48,430
Give me another ball.
1565
01:41:50,735 --> 01:41:51,429
What?
1566
01:41:51,670 --> 01:41:53,000
It's a water hazard.
1567
01:41:53,337 --> 01:41:57,330
You go up there and take a drop.
Try to save par, like yesterday.
1568
01:41:58,175 --> 01:41:59,335
You're right.
1569
01:42:00,111 --> 01:42:01,840
What the hell was I thinking?
1570
01:42:02,680 --> 01:42:04,010
He's tied for the lead...
1571
01:42:04,180 --> 01:42:06,944
...this Roy McAvoy, this "Tin Cup"
this empty cup...
1572
01:42:07,118 --> 01:42:09,108
...this air-brain out of nowhere.
1573
01:42:09,253 --> 01:42:10,514
West Texas.
1574
01:42:10,688 --> 01:42:12,678
Thank you for West Texas.
1575
01:42:12,856 --> 01:42:17,350
You went for the green on 18 today.
Do you think that cost you?
1576
01:42:17,527 --> 01:42:19,358
I saved par, didn't I?
1577
01:42:20,263 --> 01:42:21,287
Didn't I?
1578
01:42:21,364 --> 01:42:25,733
You had the same shot yesterday
on 18 without a headwind.
1579
01:42:25,802 --> 01:42:27,428
You don't think I can?
1580
01:42:27,503 --> 01:42:28,493
It's unlikely.
1581
01:42:29,671 --> 01:42:32,162
So am I. Look at me, all right?
1582
01:42:32,241 --> 01:42:36,109
Look what I'm wearing. I'm playing
for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking.
1583
01:42:36,178 --> 01:42:38,112
Brink's and Brown's Sanitation.
1584
01:42:39,548 --> 01:42:43,609
First State Bank of Salome.
Woody's Smokehouse.
1585
01:42:44,719 --> 01:42:48,450
You think a guy like me bothers
to worry about the percentages?
1586
01:43:10,210 --> 01:43:13,145
Are you nervous about tomorrow, Roy?
1587
01:43:20,219 --> 01:43:22,654
It won't always be like this, you know.
1588
01:43:22,923 --> 01:43:24,082
What?
1589
01:43:25,324 --> 01:43:28,157
With me, surrounded by
all these guys snoring.
1590
01:43:28,327 --> 01:43:31,558
Stripper ex-girlfriend
laying across from us.
1591
01:43:33,566 --> 01:43:36,057
My caddie sleeping next to her.
1592
01:43:37,503 --> 01:43:39,834
It won't always be like this.
1593
01:43:40,239 --> 01:43:42,229
Yes, it will, Roy.
1594
01:43:42,941 --> 01:43:44,341
It will.
1595
01:44:09,600 --> 01:44:11,033
Dollar bills.
1596
01:44:18,675 --> 01:44:20,073
Dollar bills.
1597
01:44:27,750 --> 01:44:29,274
Dollar bills.
1598
01:44:41,963 --> 01:44:45,729
First up in the final pairing,
from Salome, Texas...
1599
01:44:45,900 --> 01:44:48,061
...Roy McAvoy.
1600
01:44:48,637 --> 01:44:51,435
Fairways and greens, and
don't forget to wave...
1601
01:44:51,640 --> 01:44:52,732
...as I blow by.
1602
01:44:53,074 --> 01:44:56,134
You mean blow up, don't you,
sport? You always do.
1603
01:45:28,206 --> 01:45:32,142
Playing out of Houston, Texas...
... David Simms.
1604
01:45:36,948 --> 01:45:40,782
It's okay, exactly where you are.
You're in great shape.
1605
01:45:58,569 --> 01:45:59,900
How's the lie?
1606
01:46:00,071 --> 01:46:02,062
Shit, it's buried.
1607
01:46:04,074 --> 01:46:05,473
Don't touch it.
1608
01:46:05,676 --> 01:46:07,006
I know the rules.
1609
01:46:11,448 --> 01:46:12,814
What'll you do?
1610
01:46:12,983 --> 01:46:14,347
Go right through there.
1611
01:46:14,651 --> 01:46:15,447
Go for it.
1612
01:46:19,856 --> 01:46:21,790
- Oh, God!
- Don't worry about it.
1613
01:46:21,924 --> 01:46:25,383
It was my fault. I gave you
the wrong club. You'll be fine.
1614
01:46:25,594 --> 01:46:28,495
Don't worry. You did fine.
Give me the club.
1615
01:46:28,897 --> 01:46:32,890
We've just heard Roy McAvoy has
taken a disastrous double-bogey...
1616
01:46:33,068 --> 01:46:35,059
...to open his final round here.
1617
01:46:35,237 --> 01:46:36,727
Trouble back there.
1618
01:46:37,840 --> 01:46:39,534
Just keep making pars.
1619
01:46:39,742 --> 01:46:42,175
I'll take 18 of them, all day.
1620
01:46:42,311 --> 01:46:44,244
Do it, and I'll own you.
1621
01:47:12,572 --> 01:47:13,561
Fore!
1622
01:47:18,577 --> 01:47:20,704
Roy McAvoy's second shot...
1623
01:47:20,880 --> 01:47:24,408
...at the second hole has
gone deep into the woods.
1624
01:47:24,583 --> 01:47:27,518
For a report on his plight,
let's go to Gary McCord...
1625
01:47:28,120 --> 01:47:32,284
...who has spent most of his life
in the woods and in darkness.
1626
01:47:32,424 --> 01:47:34,290
He's in jail here.
1627
01:47:34,426 --> 01:47:35,723
No chance for parole.
1628
01:47:35,894 --> 01:47:40,525
He's got to hit the ball back in the
fairway, pitch the ball on the green...
1629
01:47:40,732 --> 01:47:42,064
...and get up and down for par.
1630
01:47:42,234 --> 01:47:44,065
No chance to hit it on the green.
1631
01:47:45,437 --> 01:47:47,428
$50 says I knock it on with a 7-iron.
1632
01:47:47,906 --> 01:47:49,066
On the green?
1633
01:47:49,240 --> 01:47:49,899
Right.
1634
01:47:50,308 --> 01:47:51,366
You got it.
1635
01:47:52,076 --> 01:47:54,977
Move these people back right here.
I'm going right there.
1636
01:47:58,549 --> 01:47:59,915
What's he got?
1637
01:48:00,150 --> 01:48:01,139
What's he doing?
1638
01:48:02,619 --> 01:48:06,453
He's going to try to ricochet off
the toilet with a hooded 7-iron.
1639
01:48:06,824 --> 01:48:08,553
He's hitting off the shitter.
1640
01:48:08,758 --> 01:48:10,989
I can't believe he's doing this.
1641
01:48:11,161 --> 01:48:12,753
DVT 1, record.
1642
01:48:12,930 --> 01:48:14,022
Record this.
1643
01:48:24,273 --> 01:48:28,937
Roy McAvoy has banked his third
shot at the second hole...
1644
01:48:29,111 --> 01:48:34,013
...between the trees, off a water closet,
or loo, as you might call it...
1645
01:48:34,182 --> 01:48:36,946
...and got it on the green,
somehow, in three.
1646
01:48:37,185 --> 01:48:40,586
May be the shot that gets
him back on track here.
1647
01:48:40,789 --> 01:48:42,780
It could erase that double-bogey.
1648
01:48:42,958 --> 01:48:44,858
Best thing that ever happened to him.
1649
01:49:14,754 --> 01:49:16,745
Oh, that was great.
1650
01:49:16,956 --> 01:49:20,756
I didn't know there was a mirror
in here. Isn't that cute?
1651
01:49:32,438 --> 01:49:34,428
Let me just look at my...
1652
01:50:19,249 --> 01:50:22,308
Looks level. Roll it in like
you know what you're doing.
1653
01:50:25,255 --> 01:50:26,916
Hit it close, sport.
1654
01:51:03,524 --> 01:51:05,753
How did he get the name Tin Cup?
1655
01:51:05,993 --> 01:51:09,087
He was the catcher on the
high school baseball team.
1656
01:51:09,262 --> 01:51:11,253
Star pitcher had a curve.
1657
01:51:11,431 --> 01:51:13,626
Not all his pitches hit Roy in the mitt.
1658
01:51:14,734 --> 01:51:18,637
Team thought "Tin Cup" was a
whole lot better than "Clank. "
1659
01:51:26,579 --> 01:51:27,807
Fuck.
1660
01:51:30,016 --> 01:51:31,108
Too bad.
1661
01:51:48,133 --> 01:51:50,464
Can I ask you a question?
1662
01:51:51,535 --> 01:51:53,765
Have you ever had a Latin lover?
1663
01:51:54,139 --> 01:51:57,665
Where does he get his name
from is what I want to know.
1664
01:52:00,044 --> 01:52:04,207
Why did you wait so long to
leave that Simms character?
1665
01:52:04,381 --> 01:52:09,317
It takes time to realize Prince Charming
might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...
1666
01:52:09,485 --> 01:52:11,044
...eating sausage...
1667
01:52:11,220 --> 01:52:14,986
...making $7 an hour
in some driving range.
1668
01:52:15,158 --> 01:52:20,061
You don't try to fix men, I hope.
Men cannot be fixed, especially him.
1669
01:52:20,329 --> 01:52:23,230
I've been pathetically
slow learning that lesson.
1670
01:52:23,865 --> 01:52:25,390
- How are you?
- How are you?
1671
01:52:25,568 --> 01:52:26,398
Good.
1672
01:52:26,569 --> 01:52:27,866
I could use help.
1673
01:52:28,070 --> 01:52:31,871
I've seen what you've done with McAvoy.
It could come in handy.
1674
01:52:32,074 --> 01:52:34,168
Let me give you my card.
1675
01:52:34,342 --> 01:52:35,400
Great.
1676
01:52:35,611 --> 01:52:39,740
If you have more of these, a bunch of
the other guys could use your help.
1677
01:52:39,948 --> 01:52:41,279
Take them all.
1678
01:52:41,450 --> 01:52:43,543
- This is Doreen.
- Hi, how are you?
1679
01:52:43,685 --> 01:52:45,949
My number's there, call any time.
1680
01:52:46,154 --> 01:52:48,748
I counsel couples, so bring
your caddie if you want.
1681
01:52:48,957 --> 01:52:50,753
I'll think about it,
and I'll give you a call.
1682
01:52:50,958 --> 01:52:51,686
Thanks.
1683
01:52:51,859 --> 01:52:53,622
Bye, nice meeting you.
1684
01:52:54,228 --> 01:52:54,956
Cheers.
1685
01:52:55,162 --> 01:52:56,094
Cheers.
1686
01:53:21,253 --> 01:53:24,246
That puts Jacobsen
into a tie at 7, guys.
1687
01:53:24,424 --> 01:53:28,326
That Tin Cup guy is one shot back.
Let's keep abreast of that.
1688
01:53:28,894 --> 01:53:31,796
That birdie by Peter
Jacobsen forged a tie...
1689
01:53:32,065 --> 01:53:34,225
...at 7 under with David Simms.
1690
01:53:34,399 --> 01:53:37,232
And Roy McAvoy
just won't go away.
1691
01:53:37,402 --> 01:53:40,131
He's only one shot back at 6 under par.
1692
01:53:56,654 --> 01:54:00,784
He's throwing darts. If we don't make
birdies, we're playing for second.
1693
01:54:01,092 --> 01:54:03,322
Can you believe McAvoy's still here?
1694
01:54:03,494 --> 01:54:06,587
I can't believe "Tin Cup" might
appear with my name on a trophy.
1695
01:54:06,730 --> 01:54:10,257
It's come down to the 72nd
hole of this championship...
1696
01:54:10,433 --> 01:54:14,335
...and 3 men all battling to be
crowned the Open champion.
1697
01:54:14,504 --> 01:54:16,335
Jacobsen's on the fairway...
1698
01:54:16,506 --> 01:54:17,904
...at 8 under par...
1699
01:54:18,108 --> 01:54:21,599
...tied for the lead with Roy
McAvoy, who's on the 18th tee.
1700
01:54:21,744 --> 01:54:24,908
And David Simms is back
there trailing by one.
1701
01:54:41,529 --> 01:54:43,622
- Jacobsen's laying up.
- Took out an iron.
1702
01:54:43,731 --> 01:54:48,135
Jacobsen's going to lay up.
He's tied for the lead.
1703
01:54:48,303 --> 01:54:50,294
Assures himself of a par...
1704
01:54:50,471 --> 01:54:51,529
...and with his short game...
1705
01:54:51,706 --> 01:54:53,003
...he could make birdie.
1706
01:54:54,209 --> 01:54:56,199
You ain't going to have that luxury.
1707
01:54:58,378 --> 01:55:00,142
Not if you play to win.
1708
01:55:26,405 --> 01:55:28,498
We've seen this position before.
1709
01:55:28,673 --> 01:55:31,734
McAvoy with another
perfect drive at the 18th.
1710
01:55:31,877 --> 01:55:35,973
The last thing he needs right now
is an excuse to go for the green.
1711
01:55:36,248 --> 01:55:37,511
I didn't catch it all.
1712
01:55:37,682 --> 01:55:40,742
Well, that's okay.
You'll have to lay up then.
1713
01:56:16,287 --> 01:56:17,844
This is for par.
1714
01:56:21,024 --> 01:56:22,786
So, birdie wins it.
1715
01:56:23,726 --> 01:56:25,091
That's par.
1716
01:56:26,462 --> 01:56:27,792
He's in the lead.
1717
01:56:29,299 --> 01:56:30,925
They all must catch him.
1718
01:56:31,099 --> 01:56:32,396
You or me, Dave?
1719
01:56:44,880 --> 01:56:46,313
He's laying up.
1720
01:56:47,316 --> 01:56:48,748
He's laying up.
1721
01:56:50,318 --> 01:56:54,812
Birdie to tie, eagle to win.
Gutless wonder's laying up.
1722
01:56:54,956 --> 01:56:58,755
It's birdie to win and par
to tie for you. Lay up.
1723
01:56:59,926 --> 01:57:02,623
You can still make a birdie laying up.
1724
01:57:03,331 --> 01:57:04,820
You know what?
1725
01:57:04,965 --> 01:57:07,662
If I make an eagle that puts me 10 under.
1726
01:57:07,835 --> 01:57:10,963
No one's ever finished an Open
10 under, not even Nicklaus.
1727
01:57:11,604 --> 01:57:15,836
You don't need an eagle to win.
Birdie wins, par ties.
1728
01:57:15,976 --> 01:57:17,136
Lay it up.
1729
01:57:19,913 --> 01:57:24,077
Birdie wins, parties. Hole out
a wedge for a goddamn eagle?!
1730
01:57:26,285 --> 01:57:27,775
This is everything.
1731
01:57:28,087 --> 01:57:31,853
This is the choice it comes down
to, this is our immortality.
1732
01:57:31,991 --> 01:57:36,087
Don't think about immortality,
think "hit the 7-iron. "
1733
01:57:40,032 --> 01:57:44,866
No, no, no. This is what always
happens. He's going for it.
1734
01:57:45,036 --> 01:57:46,026
Go for it!
1735
01:57:49,474 --> 01:57:51,032
Molly, get a grip.
1736
01:57:51,542 --> 01:57:55,034
He only needs par to tie.
Tell him to lay up.
1737
01:57:55,212 --> 01:57:57,703
Go for it, Roy! Just knock it on!
1738
01:57:58,649 --> 01:58:02,379
This is why we broke up.
He always went for it.
1739
01:58:02,553 --> 01:58:06,716
My problem is, I've never been
with a man who went for it.
1740
01:58:06,890 --> 01:58:09,222
Honey, he's your guy.
1741
01:58:11,495 --> 01:58:13,156
One swing, Roy.
1742
01:58:13,730 --> 01:58:15,822
One good swing.
1743
01:58:18,502 --> 01:58:21,164
John Daly couldn't do it.
What's he doing?
1744
01:58:21,338 --> 01:58:24,171
Unbelievable he's going
for it 4 days in a row.
1745
01:58:24,341 --> 01:58:26,331
No, 3 days he's put it in the water.
1746
01:58:26,509 --> 01:58:29,000
It'll be 4 days if he hits his 3-wood.
1747
01:58:31,347 --> 01:58:32,905
Come on, baby.
1748
01:58:33,182 --> 01:58:34,513
We're home.
1749
01:58:35,683 --> 01:58:37,173
This has a chance.
1750
01:58:37,353 --> 01:58:38,512
It's got to go.
1751
01:58:38,686 --> 01:58:41,086
This has a chance.
I think he's done it.
1752
01:58:44,026 --> 01:58:45,185
Little gust there.
1753
01:58:56,603 --> 01:58:57,696
Stay up!
1754
01:58:57,939 --> 01:58:59,098
Stay up!
1755
01:59:00,107 --> 01:59:01,267
Stay up!
1756
01:59:18,291 --> 01:59:20,452
You can still make par from there.
1757
01:59:20,626 --> 01:59:21,456
Right.
1758
01:59:21,894 --> 01:59:24,293
Take a drop, we'll make par, we'll tie.
1759
01:59:24,463 --> 01:59:27,729
I nutted that thing.
I mean, I nutted it.
1760
01:59:28,067 --> 01:59:30,467
I know. You put a hell of a move on it.
1761
01:59:30,636 --> 01:59:32,899
Little gust from the gods cost me.
1762
01:59:33,071 --> 01:59:34,971
We'll take our drop, tie...
1763
01:59:35,140 --> 01:59:36,403
...and win the playoff.
1764
01:59:36,576 --> 01:59:38,634
- I can make that shot!
- I know!
1765
01:59:38,810 --> 01:59:40,300
- But not now!
- Now!
1766
01:59:41,079 --> 01:59:43,639
I'm playing it from right here, now.
1767
01:59:45,149 --> 01:59:46,481
Make your par.
1768
01:59:47,319 --> 01:59:47,978
Now.
1769
01:59:48,487 --> 01:59:49,748
Take your drop.
1770
01:59:50,254 --> 01:59:51,312
Give me a ball.
1771
01:59:51,490 --> 01:59:53,151
Unbelievable.
1772
01:59:55,659 --> 01:59:57,650
I can't watch this.
1773
02:00:04,267 --> 02:00:05,326
Fourth shot.
1774
02:00:06,102 --> 02:00:10,505
I don't believe this. He could go
up, use the drop zone, make par...
1775
02:00:10,673 --> 02:00:13,938
...force a playoff with
Jacobsen and get out of here.
1776
02:00:14,110 --> 02:00:17,443
Easy, guys. He can still make 5.
He can still make 5.
1777
02:00:17,614 --> 02:00:19,673
We could still have a playoff.
1778
02:00:41,303 --> 02:00:42,361
Give me a ball.
1779
02:00:43,038 --> 02:00:44,026
Take a drop.
1780
02:00:45,040 --> 02:00:46,472
Give me a ball!
1781
02:00:47,308 --> 02:00:48,639
Just take your drop.
1782
02:00:55,716 --> 02:00:57,980
Dropping 5, hitting 6.
1783
02:00:58,152 --> 02:01:02,384
What's he doing? All he'd have to
do is walk up there and take a drop.
1784
02:01:02,556 --> 02:01:04,991
Make a 5, for crying out loud.
That's insane.
1785
02:01:05,492 --> 02:01:07,221
Somebody tackle him.
1786
02:01:09,663 --> 02:01:10,891
Give me a ball.
1787
02:01:23,242 --> 02:01:24,403
Dropping 7...
1788
02:01:24,578 --> 02:01:26,512
...hitting his 8th shot.
1789
02:01:32,250 --> 02:01:34,912
It's a miracle he lasted this long.
1790
02:01:42,860 --> 02:01:45,022
We ought to have
a camera on Simms.
1791
02:01:45,196 --> 02:01:46,755
He can't watch.
1792
02:01:46,931 --> 02:01:49,764
Someone tell him he doesn't
have to hit it from there.
1793
02:01:51,703 --> 02:01:54,263
He's dropping 9. He's hitting 10.
1794
02:02:07,384 --> 02:02:09,545
God, I'm going to faint.
1795
02:02:11,121 --> 02:02:12,281
Oh, Jesus.
1796
02:02:19,462 --> 02:02:23,627
This is the last ball in the bag.
This gets wet, we're disqualified.
1797
02:02:23,899 --> 02:02:25,628
I can make it across.
1798
02:02:25,802 --> 02:02:26,893
Then do it.
1799
02:02:27,069 --> 02:02:28,627
Quit fucking around.
1800
02:02:39,081 --> 02:02:40,308
He's crazy.
1801
02:02:41,750 --> 02:02:43,741
Oh, God. He's right.
1802
02:02:43,918 --> 02:02:47,081
You're right, Roy!
Just knock it on! Let her rip!
1803
02:02:47,255 --> 02:02:49,746
- You're losing it.
- I have lost it.
1804
02:02:50,425 --> 02:02:51,483
But so has he.
1805
02:02:54,663 --> 02:02:56,596
- He's crazy.
- So are you.
1806
02:02:56,830 --> 02:02:58,263
This is a 12.
1807
02:02:58,432 --> 02:03:02,163
He must start worrying about
qualifying for next year's Open.
1808
02:03:02,336 --> 02:03:03,598
He lost this one.
1809
02:03:03,771 --> 02:03:05,329
He'll end up selling...
1810
02:03:05,506 --> 02:03:08,998
...ties and renting golf
carts the rest of his life.
1811
02:03:09,175 --> 02:03:13,442
I don't know what I'm feeling. This is
the most painful thing I've ever seen.
1812
02:03:13,781 --> 02:03:17,682
He doesn't finish the
hole with this ball...
1813
02:03:17,850 --> 02:03:19,442
...he's disqualified.
1814
02:03:19,619 --> 02:03:22,611
Oh, my God. Dear Lord, please.
Dear Lord.
1815
02:03:46,545 --> 02:03:47,307
Get over.
1816
02:03:53,818 --> 02:03:54,648
He's over.
1817
02:04:22,645 --> 02:04:24,476
I can't believe it!
1818
02:04:27,049 --> 02:04:28,710
I love you!
1819
02:04:30,819 --> 02:04:32,309
My God!
1820
02:04:47,568 --> 02:04:49,730
- Unbelievable!
- Jesus Christ!
1821
02:04:49,904 --> 02:04:51,667
Did you see this?
1822
02:04:53,007 --> 02:04:55,566
That was a 12. That was a 12.
1823
02:04:55,843 --> 02:04:58,175
He was on the green
and in and out in 12.
1824
02:06:02,339 --> 02:06:04,432
Boss, you blew that one.
1825
02:06:04,608 --> 02:06:08,339
- I didn't come here to play for second.
- Simms'll always be second.
1826
02:06:13,183 --> 02:06:17,119
I'll meet you at the Winnebago!
I'll fire up the blender!
1827
02:06:20,691 --> 02:06:22,783
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1828
02:06:28,530 --> 02:06:32,524
That was incredible! That was
the shot of the tournament!
1829
02:06:33,135 --> 02:06:35,466
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1830
02:06:35,637 --> 02:06:36,968
It doesn't matter.
1831
02:06:37,807 --> 02:06:41,708
One time in my life I know the
safe play to hit and I still...
1832
02:06:41,877 --> 02:06:43,868
Shit, I still can't make myself do it.
1833
02:06:44,045 --> 02:06:44,977
It doesn't matter.
1834
02:06:45,146 --> 02:06:48,138
My whole career, my whole
life on the line...
1835
02:06:48,315 --> 02:06:50,806
I just made a 12 on the
last hole of the Open!
1836
02:06:50,986 --> 02:06:54,318
You sure did. It was the
greatest 12 of all time.
1837
02:06:54,488 --> 02:06:57,889
No one's going to remember the
Open 5 years from now, who won...
1838
02:06:58,058 --> 02:06:59,889
...but they'll remember your 12!
1839
02:07:00,060 --> 02:07:03,496
My, God, Roy, it was...
Well, it's immortal!
1840
02:07:03,664 --> 02:07:05,655
I am so proud of you!
1841
02:07:10,003 --> 02:07:11,995
I gotta hand it to you.
1842
02:07:12,171 --> 02:07:15,231
When you go down,
you go down in flames.
1843
02:07:16,576 --> 02:07:17,907
Never mind.
1844
02:07:18,511 --> 02:07:19,569
Kiss me.
1845
02:07:20,914 --> 02:07:23,404
- David, you got a minute?
- Not right now.
1846
02:07:24,917 --> 02:07:26,509
Can I have your autograph?
1847
02:07:26,686 --> 02:07:29,586
Sure, I always got time
for my fans, darling.
1848
02:07:29,755 --> 02:07:32,246
Don't you look cute. Come on under.
1849
02:07:39,431 --> 02:07:41,262
Nice par, David.
1850
02:08:27,644 --> 02:08:32,478
By finishing in the top 15 at the Open
you qualified to be in it next year.
1851
02:08:33,315 --> 02:08:34,407
Really?
1852
02:08:36,085 --> 02:08:37,985
I didn't know that.
1853
02:08:38,152 --> 02:08:42,748
With your game you could go back to the
qualifying school and go out on tour.
1854
02:08:45,159 --> 02:08:46,593
Then I wouldn't see you.
1855
02:08:47,495 --> 02:08:51,829
Actually, I picked up a whole
bunch of new clients at the Open.
1856
02:08:52,000 --> 02:08:55,936
Guys said if I could do that for you,
imagine what I could do for them.
1857
02:08:57,838 --> 02:09:00,329
There's a lot of head cases out there.
1858
02:09:01,675 --> 02:09:03,939
A man goes through what I have...
1859
02:09:04,111 --> 02:09:05,601
...he's supposed to learn something.
1860
02:09:05,779 --> 02:09:07,838
I'm trying to figure out what I learned.
1861
02:09:10,283 --> 02:09:12,183
You think I learned anything?
1862
02:09:13,119 --> 02:09:16,180
You learned a little discipline,
some self-control.
1863
02:09:16,356 --> 02:09:17,948
I learned...
1864
02:09:18,124 --> 02:09:22,117
...you can't just listen to your
heart, but also to your brain.
1865
02:09:22,295 --> 02:09:25,024
I'm learning how to listen
to that tuning fork...
1866
02:09:25,197 --> 02:09:27,358
...throw caution to the wind and...
1867
02:09:27,533 --> 02:09:30,866
...take crazy risks I never
thought were possible.
1868
02:09:31,203 --> 02:09:34,365
Come on, Molly, when did
you ever take a crazy risk?
1869
02:09:35,474 --> 02:09:37,373
I'm with you, Roy.
1870
02:09:40,545 --> 02:09:42,206
I'm with you.
1871
02:09:46,484 --> 02:09:47,815
You know...
1872
02:09:48,653 --> 02:09:50,644
...we could kiss...
1873
02:09:51,990 --> 02:09:54,823
You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?
1874
02:09:54,993 --> 02:09:57,826
Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...
1875
02:09:58,662 --> 02:09:59,651
...sweet...
1876
02:09:59,831 --> 02:10:01,058
...innocent...
1877
02:10:01,231 --> 02:10:02,721
Good idea!
136389
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